All language subtitles for No Activity (2017) - 02x08 - Operation Meat Puppet.METCON-ION10-AMZN.NTb.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:08,960 Previously on No Activity... 2 00:00:09,020 --> 00:00:10,979 I'm about to go on an apple break. You want to join me? 3 00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:12,850 Jamal here told me 4 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,520 that you forced him into a sexual encounter. 5 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,890 That's a fucking lie. Get off me! 6 00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:19,820 Get off me! 7 00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:21,690 Freeze. Hands where I can see 'em. 8 00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:23,280 Larry Turnbull, you're under arrest. 9 00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:24,896 You don't want to get involved in this. 10 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,500 There's some money that gets moved around. 11 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:27,920 We pay for maternity leave, 12 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,830 Thanksgiving turkeys, the soup kitchens. 13 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,960 - Cuff him. - No. He's like a hero. 14 00:00:31,980 --> 00:00:33,820 Tolbeck. Tolbeck, Tolbeck... 15 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:34,990 - Don't do this. - Do not do this to me. 16 00:00:35,010 --> 00:00:37,340 - Give me the cuffs. Give it. - You can have it. 17 00:00:37,420 --> 00:00:38,679 Oh, shoot. 18 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:39,720 Hey! 19 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:40,896 I wish you would've hung out with us. 20 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:41,979 You would love Fatima. 21 00:00:41,980 --> 00:00:43,260 Fatima from Dispatch? 22 00:00:43,270 --> 00:00:45,070 So, you proposed the threesome? 23 00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:46,720 Yeah, I guess I did propose it. 24 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,840 Don't be alarmed. I'm just taking my gun out 25 00:00:48,850 --> 00:00:49,980 - to use you guys as hostages. - Whoa, whoa, 26 00:00:49,990 --> 00:00:51,006 - whoa, whoa, whoa. - Whoa, whoa, Larry! 27 00:00:51,030 --> 00:00:52,040 Look, I'm sorry for yelling, 28 00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:53,876 but this is a hostage situation. 29 00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:56,000 There's a sewer entry in the laundromat, 30 00:00:56,020 --> 00:00:58,660 and the entranceway is on a rooftop 31 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,210 just outside the perimeter. 32 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:01,390 A series of vague directions 33 00:01:01,430 --> 00:01:02,610 is not a plan, Greg. 34 00:01:02,650 --> 00:01:03,900 I have left Scientology, 35 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,300 but they'll be coming for me. 36 00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:07,120 Yeah, I don't care about his progress. 37 00:01:07,140 --> 00:01:08,179 Who are you talking to? 38 00:01:08,180 --> 00:01:09,189 I'm talking to no one, 39 00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:10,476 and they're not saying anything about you. 40 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,320 - I am... I'm coming back soon! - Is it... 41 00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:13,760 - Please give me another shot. - I'm not talking to the church. 42 00:01:13,780 --> 00:01:15,739 - Did he say shot? - No, no, not shot... 43 00:01:15,740 --> 00:01:17,659 - not "shot" like that. Do not fire. - Hold your fire! Hold your fire! 44 00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:18,880 Shit. 45 00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:22,900 Alpha Bravo, why did you fire? 46 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:24,386 I thought I had the order to fire. 47 00:01:24,410 --> 00:01:26,279 - What channel were you on? - Channel five. 48 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:27,720 You don't take your order from Dispatch, 49 00:01:27,740 --> 00:01:28,750 you take your orders from me. 50 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,820 - Don't fire unless I say so. - Got it. 51 00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:32,280 Did you take down a hostage 52 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,680 - or the target? - Unclear. 53 00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:35,360 Uh, unclear. Will determine. 54 00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:36,840 Uh, somebody's down, 55 00:01:36,860 --> 00:01:38,499 - not sure who, though. - Motherfucker, 56 00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:40,360 if you've killed Larry, we're all gonna hear about this. 57 00:01:40,380 --> 00:01:42,140 Shit. 58 00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:46,020 Oh, boy. Well, 59 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:49,200 this is possibly gonna be the end of an era. 60 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,000 I got to say I'm proud of you. 61 00:01:52,050 --> 00:01:54,800 - This is gonna be a big win for you. - Okay. 62 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,140 - Cullen. - Yeah. 63 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,180 - Going to the FBI. - Maybe. 64 00:01:59,230 --> 00:02:02,010 Yep, it's really the end... 65 00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:03,290 End of an era. Okay, you said... 66 00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:04,339 - Thank you. - Okay. 67 00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:06,000 Don't jinx it. 68 00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:08,420 You know what, let's make this special. 69 00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:10,100 Do you want to just 70 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:13,780 stare into each other's eyes for, like, a full minute? 71 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:21,700 Starting now? 72 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,059 - I already started. - Oh. 73 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,100 - Forget it, forget it. - Didn't know you were... Okay, fine. 74 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,819 Car 27, come in. 75 00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:28,329 This is Car 27. Go ahead. 76 00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:31,260 Please be advised that FBI will be taking over this operation 77 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,680 in exactly one hour. 78 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:33,940 What?! Why? 79 00:02:33,980 --> 00:02:35,440 There's, like, two hostages in there. 80 00:02:35,460 --> 00:02:36,546 They don't think we can handle that? 81 00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:38,460 Shots have been fired, someone is down, 82 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,330 we're not sure who. One of the hostages 83 00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:41,820 is an FBI agent. 84 00:02:41,860 --> 00:02:44,380 - Whoa. - Oh, shit. How did that happen? 85 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,499 Classified. 86 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:47,719 You have exactly one hour to clear the scene 87 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,200 and then report to HQ. Dispatch out. 88 00:02:50,260 --> 00:02:51,930 Fuck, I wish I was them. 89 00:02:51,980 --> 00:02:53,680 Oh, relax. You'll get your turn. 90 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:55,680 I don't know, man. I don't know. 91 00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:57,360 I mean, we're the ones who fingered Larry. 92 00:02:57,380 --> 00:02:58,800 We're... Now we're not gonna get any credit 93 00:02:58,820 --> 00:03:00,600 for taking him down. None. 94 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,860 - You know what? Forget it. - What are you doing? 95 00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:05,860 - No, no. What... ? - We're... We're doing Greg's plan. 96 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:08,340 That's not a fucking business card. Look at it. 97 00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:10,720 It's all in highlighter. How do you read that? 98 00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:13,470 Okay, I'm-I'm going on record: this is a bad idea. 99 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:14,500 - Okay. - This is a bad plan. 100 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:17,100 Noted. 101 00:03:17,140 --> 00:03:19,720 Scheller's Tactical Solutions and Hobby Shop, 102 00:03:19,740 --> 00:03:21,600 - Greg speaking. - Hey, Greg, it's... 103 00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:23,740 Detective Tolbeck! I've been expecting your call. 104 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,320 Listen, all I need for you to say 105 00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:27,940 is "Operation Meatpuppet is a go." 106 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,140 - He's not saying that. - Oh! Oh! I'm on speaker. 107 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,240 - Yes. - Yeah. 108 00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:35,020 Great! Oh, now I need you both to say it. 109 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,680 It's kind of a deal-breaker if you don't. 110 00:03:36,890 --> 00:03:39,140 - What? - Can I get an iced tea? 111 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,559 - Uh, no sweetener. - I'm not saying it. 112 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:41,870 - I'm not saying it. - Say it. 113 00:03:41,890 --> 00:03:44,060 So together, on the count of three, 114 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:46,040 one, two, three, go. 115 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,380 Operation Meatpuppet is a go. 116 00:04:13,860 --> 00:04:18,860 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 117 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,660 Oh, I... Look, 118 00:04:27,690 --> 00:04:29,690 I left the map under one of your seats. 119 00:04:29,730 --> 00:04:31,520 - Now, who's gonna find it? - Ooh! 120 00:04:31,540 --> 00:04:33,000 - Who... Who's got it? - Ooh. 121 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,860 - Who's the lucky one? - Me! 122 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:37,140 - Me! I got it. I won! - Okay. Okay. 123 00:04:37,180 --> 00:04:39,040 There you go. Now, you guys, 124 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:40,599 you got to wait for my diversion. 125 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,380 I mean, to you, it'll have 126 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,570 the unmistakable properties of a diversion. 127 00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:46,680 To the hostage-taker and his hostages, 128 00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,460 it will divert their attention, 129 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,440 because they're not anticipating it. 130 00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:52,099 - They will not... - You know what, Greg? 131 00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:53,119 Forget about this. 132 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,000 I'm sorry we called. We're not doing it. 133 00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,220 - Too late. - No, it's not too late for it. 134 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,400 We're calling it off. 135 00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:00,120 Operation Meatpuppet is a go. 136 00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:03,400 There is no squeezing this squid back into the can. 137 00:05:03,460 --> 00:05:05,100 How's that iced tea coming? 138 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,420 What have we done? What have we done? 139 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,000 Yeah, this is probably a big mistake. 140 00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:15,920 Delta Tango, switch to three. 141 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,090 Hey, uh, listen. That was kind of your fault. 142 00:05:19,130 --> 00:05:20,259 Are you being serious right now? 143 00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:21,500 Look, I have a perfect record. 144 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:22,800 I don't want to get into a whole thing. 145 00:05:22,820 --> 00:05:24,136 It's gonna be a lot of paperwork for me. 146 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,860 - You just log it in. - Oh, I'm real sorry 147 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,080 you won't have your perfect record. 148 00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:28,940 You have to slum down here with the rest of us. 149 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,880 Anyone can see that shot came from your position. 150 00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:32,280 Oh, I see. Okay, great. 151 00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:33,620 So you get to be a platinum gay, 152 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:34,899 but I can't be a platinum sniper? 153 00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:36,199 Oh, my God, 154 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:37,720 that is not the same thing at all. 155 00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:39,540 Oh, no. You know what? You're right. It's not. 156 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,600 I earned mine. You basically made yours up 157 00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:43,460 based on some pathological fear of women. 158 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,110 Grow up, Nancy Drew. 159 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,320 So you're not gonna take the shot? 160 00:05:47,340 --> 00:05:48,360 Nope. 161 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,520 You're not taking the shot? 162 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,180 I promise you I will not be doing that, yes. 163 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,260 - Okay, bye. - Oh, real mature. 164 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,500 You're... Wow. Just cutting communication 165 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,470 in the middle of a live siege. This is... 166 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,180 this is some of your finest work. 167 00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:02,480 Huh. 168 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,320 - What are you doing? - I'm going for his gun. 169 00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:12,180 What the fuck were you gonna do... 170 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,840 shoot yourself free? 171 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,180 I don't know. I was doing something. 172 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,840 I don't see you doing anything. 173 00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:17,959 If you want to get his gun, 174 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,440 you got to do little shimmies. 175 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,420 And you got to get the back of your chair up against his hip. 176 00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:24,920 All right, why don't you show me how it's done, genius? 177 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:26,059 I am. 178 00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:27,380 - Hurry up. - I'm getting there. 179 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,740 Oh, you're not moving very quick. 180 00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:33,700 Fuck off, Dustin. You fell, too. 181 00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:36,220 Sure. Yeah, but you had an example of what I did. 182 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,200 You had some big plan of tiny shimmies, but look at you now. 183 00:06:39,220 --> 00:06:40,280 Shut up! 184 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,520 Ah! Joke's on you. 185 00:06:42,580 --> 00:06:44,600 I like the way your spit tastes. 186 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:45,959 Hey, it's Fatima. 187 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,419 I'm completely swamped over here 188 00:06:47,420 --> 00:06:48,620 and Zach has gone AWOL. 189 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,200 Can I get someone else into dispatch? 190 00:06:50,220 --> 00:06:51,700 Copy that. We have someone coming in, 191 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,400 - will be there soon. - Copy that. 192 00:06:56,460 --> 00:06:57,600 Oh, my God. 193 00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,780 Janice. You came back. 194 00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:03,340 Okay, well, let me catch you up. 195 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,180 The other guy who was here, replacing you, 196 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:06,460 was a total anus. 197 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,300 He left in the middle of the night 198 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,090 to go get audited, like, Scientology audited. 199 00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:13,140 So weird. Not like IRS audited. 200 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:14,620 Oh, my God, I missed you so much. 201 00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:16,500 So do you want me to catch you up on the siege? 202 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,600 Oh, yeah, no, I'm trying to avoid stressful situations. 203 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,400 - Oh. - _ 204 00:07:21,450 --> 00:07:23,060 - Yo. - Yeah, huh. 205 00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:25,320 What's this? What's this about? 206 00:07:25,380 --> 00:07:27,940 Make it happen. You tell me. 207 00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:31,260 It's just a little reminder about what life's about. 208 00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:34,660 Uh, like, make a mountain happen? I don't get it. 209 00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:36,319 Oh, Fatima. 210 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,320 I mean, there's not really an answer. 211 00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:39,760 You either get it or you don't. 212 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,820 You know, trees grow or they don't. 213 00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:43,420 You breathe air or you don't. 214 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,020 It's whatever you want to make of it. 215 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,100 You know? It's what you project onto it. 216 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:50,440 You know? It's-it's... it's whatever it is or it's not. 217 00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:51,500 Okay. 218 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:52,910 Where'd you get it from? 219 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,090 Elementary school dumpster. 220 00:07:55,130 --> 00:07:57,640 Oh. Why were you there? 221 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:01,420 Exactly. Why was I there? 222 00:08:01,580 --> 00:08:03,780 You-you good? You been feeling okay? 223 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,380 Oh. I feel fantastic. 224 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,779 Just making it happen. Mason got accepted 225 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,800 into the disturbed teen charity network. 226 00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:13,840 They accepted him right away. And he got a mentor 227 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,370 who's making it happen. 228 00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:18,020 A lovely, well-connected gentleman who got him 229 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:20,990 into the school, and he just waived all those lawyer fees. 230 00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:22,920 So that was a big help. Again, 231 00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:24,819 just making it happen, day by day. 232 00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:26,479 - Wow. - Yeah. Yeah. 233 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,920 - Janice, that's-that's really good news. - I know. 234 00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:32,500 Well, I'm-I'm happy to hear that Mason's getting... 235 00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:34,440 the attention that he needs. 236 00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:36,650 - Um, what's that you're taking? - Oh. 237 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:38,660 Sorry. It's time for me to take them. 238 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,200 Um, I call them my little friends. They're white Minions. 239 00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:42,980 Oh, did you ever see the movie White Minions? 240 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:45,400 It's such a great film. We all watched it together 241 00:08:45,420 --> 00:08:46,580 in the ward. 242 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,379 The ward. Like, a psychiatric ward? 243 00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:51,780 Yeah, the ward. We would just call it "the ward." 244 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,160 You know, like, "ward up"? 245 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,420 Ha, ha. 246 00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:57,360 That's ward humor. 247 00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:59,720 Anyway, I'm gonna go get myself 248 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,460 a hot cup of chamomile tea. 249 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:02,620 Can I get you one? 250 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,019 - Chamomile tea? - Mm. 251 00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:05,940 You used to say, 252 00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:08,510 "All that hot cat piss you're drinking 253 00:09:08,550 --> 00:09:10,580 "is turning you into a piss-filled motherfucker, 254 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:11,650 Fatima." 255 00:09:11,810 --> 00:09:14,740 Well, that certainly sounds like something I used to say, 256 00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:17,560 but... and I accept the fact that I said things like that, 257 00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:19,700 and I would like to apologize, so please, 258 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:22,000 accept my apology wholeheartedly. 259 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:25,320 Okay. So, can I get you the tea? 260 00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:27,000 You know what? Why are we doing Greg's plan? 261 00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:28,379 Greg's plan is not gonna work. 262 00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:30,400 I know, but maybe that's a good thing. 263 00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,060 Do we really want to be known 264 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,560 as the guys who brought Larry down? 265 00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:34,640 Yes, we do. 266 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,426 - Even with all of these... - I don't care 267 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,100 - about the hate e-mails. - Really? 268 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,280 - Yes, I don't care. - What ab... 269 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:40,420 - How about this one? - No. 270 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:43,400 "If Larry goes down, the kids college fund goes down with him, 271 00:09:43,420 --> 00:09:46,560 you pin dicks better pray he doesn't." 272 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:50,039 "Larry Turnbull helped my family buy our house. 273 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,070 He's a saint." 274 00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:52,460 - Oh. - "You two aren't worth 275 00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:54,860 - the crusty buildup off of his... " - Okay. 276 00:09:54,890 --> 00:09:56,136 I want to see where this is going. 277 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,566 - No, I don't." - ... off of his dick." 278 00:09:57,590 --> 00:09:59,550 - That's horrible. - Think I saw that coming. 279 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:01,216 I was expecting something more imaginative. 280 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,819 Oh, here's one from SeaWorld. 281 00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:04,440 It's an offer for free tickets. 282 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,870 Okay. "Fuck you, guys. Larry's the best." 283 00:10:07,910 --> 00:10:09,079 You know what? 284 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,940 - Haters gonna hate, Tolbeck. - Hmm. 285 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,540 You see, if we took Larry down, it clears your name 286 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,940 and we're gonna give me a leg up on the FBI. 287 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,680 Can you imagine me walking out of there 288 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,840 with a hostage who's an FBI agent? 289 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,440 - I am imagining it. - Yeah. 290 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,779 - It's amazing. - Exactly. That's my point. 291 00:10:23,780 --> 00:10:25,980 There wouldn't be a dry eye in the house. 292 00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:28,039 Why would people be crying? 293 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,120 Tears of joy. Are you kidding me? 294 00:10:30,140 --> 00:10:31,159 Right. 295 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,360 Just don't Tolbeck me on this, okay? 296 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,820 You mean, do Tolbeck you. 297 00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:37,980 No, don't-don't Tolbeck me. 298 00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:39,530 Tolbeck is a good thing, though, right? 299 00:10:39,550 --> 00:10:41,420 No. No. 300 00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:43,220 - It's not a good thing. - Are you sure? 301 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,039 I've never been more sure of anything in my life. 302 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,680 - You know what? - Hmm? 303 00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:51,540 I'm really gonna miss these misunderstandings. 304 00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:57,400 God, come on. 305 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,700 How are your ropes coming? 306 00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:06,000 What's wrong? 307 00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:07,819 What's wrong? 308 00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:10,640 I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you being such a fucking liar. 309 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,640 Okay. I'm sorry. 310 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,710 I'm very sorry. I lied to you. 311 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,460 I deceived you so that I could do my job. 312 00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:20,939 Okay? 313 00:11:20,940 --> 00:11:23,520 But that doesn't mean that I'm not in love with you. 314 00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,620 That doesn't mean that all the other stuff wasn't true. 315 00:11:25,630 --> 00:11:27,600 How am I supposed to trust a fucking word you say? 316 00:11:27,630 --> 00:11:29,060 - Okay, okay, okay. - I just found out 317 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,120 your name is Dustin, for Christ's sakes. 318 00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:33,200 Listen, from this point forward, 319 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,020 absolute transparency. 320 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,020 You can ask me anything you want and I'll tell you the truth. 321 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,700 Okay. Are you really in the FBI? 322 00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:42,610 - Yes. - Fuck. 323 00:11:42,650 --> 00:11:44,159 Were you lying just now? 324 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,060 - No. - Fuck. 325 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,180 Where'd you get Nathan from? 326 00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,040 - Was he an FBI bird? - No, no. 327 00:11:50,060 --> 00:11:52,120 He came from the zoo. I-I was being truthful... 328 00:11:52,140 --> 00:11:54,780 Well, the FBI did commandeer him 329 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,540 from the zoo. So, 330 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,180 I guess kind of both are true, 331 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,110 for absolute transparency's sake. 332 00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:02,800 Okay. 333 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,870 So he'd really never been in a cockfight before? 334 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,040 Oh, no, not at all. 335 00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:08,800 I think-I think kids used to feed him, honestly. 336 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:09,900 Huh. 337 00:12:09,940 --> 00:12:12,360 The only reason he won that fight 338 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,200 was 'cause of us. 339 00:12:14,340 --> 00:12:16,580 'Cause we trained him to be a killer. 340 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,470 - Yeah. - That bird was a docile bird 341 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,660 bringing joy to children. 342 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:25,160 We turned him into a cold-blooded murderer 343 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,760 - and cannibal. - That's true, we did. 344 00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:29,090 - That was us. - Yeah, 345 00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:31,080 you're damn fucking right it was us. 346 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,880 - Do you love me? - I do. 347 00:12:34,940 --> 00:12:36,790 You want to know when I knew I loved you? 348 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,560 Yeah. 349 00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:41,150 It was that time when we jerked off Nathan together 350 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,160 before the fight. 351 00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:44,739 I don't know, 352 00:12:44,740 --> 00:12:48,360 from that moment on, I knew you were the girl for me. 353 00:12:49,220 --> 00:12:51,370 And you're the girl for Daddy. 354 00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:57,720 Yes, dispatching a unit immediately. 355 00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,960 Copy that. Stand by. Out. 356 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:04,130 Oh, okay, so we have to dispatch another unit, Janice. 357 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:06,980 Janice. Janice. Janice. 358 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,740 - Janice, are you meditating? - Oh. 359 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,560 It helps me feel calm. 360 00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:13,000 Wow, that's great. Things are kind of busy here, you know? 361 00:13:13,020 --> 00:13:14,200 Mm, yeah, they're busy, 362 00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:17,440 - but not stressy. - Okay. Yeah. 363 00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:19,600 You don't seem stressed. That's interesting. 364 00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:22,040 The thing is, I'm trying to, um, coordinate a siege alone. 365 00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:23,069 That's why I'm so stressed. 366 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:24,080 - Oh. - I could really use your help. 367 00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:26,000 Sure, well, I'm sympathetic to your needs, 368 00:13:26,020 --> 00:13:29,440 but I really don't want your problems to become my problems. 369 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,840 You know, I really miss the old Janice. 370 00:13:32,860 --> 00:13:35,700 - Mm, oh, I'm so flattered. - Could really use her. 371 00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:38,790 Well, she's not here. 372 00:13:38,830 --> 00:13:41,440 So... 373 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,620 Mason's back on track, huh? 374 00:13:43,660 --> 00:13:46,299 Mm, he is back on track. He is up. 375 00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:47,360 Great. 376 00:13:47,380 --> 00:13:49,360 That's great, so no more blackmailing people, 377 00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:51,119 or, like, hacking into computers, and... 378 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,780 - No. - He's changed. 379 00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:55,120 He's changed. He's a nice boy. 380 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,500 He has nice friends. 381 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,860 He's in a nice school. I couldn't say anything nicer. 382 00:13:59,980 --> 00:14:02,360 You want to know what I think? 383 00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:05,160 - Okay. - Well, I think, 384 00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:07,440 in about a year, you'll be talking to Mason 385 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,680 through a one-inch-thick layer of plexiglass. 386 00:14:10,820 --> 00:14:13,910 Yeah, I think he doesn't belong in a nice school. 387 00:14:13,950 --> 00:14:15,680 He belongs in a supermax prison 388 00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:17,640 because he's a sociopath. 389 00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:20,860 I mean, Mason could have a million mentors, really. 390 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,199 Mentors, connections, the president... 391 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,520 it doesn't really matter. 392 00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:26,440 You can't hide the fact that... 393 00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:28,400 a turd remains a turd. 394 00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:31,520 What do you think of that, Janice? 395 00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:34,670 I think I never noticed the snow on the mountain 396 00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:35,860 in that poster before. 397 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,100 I think I always thought it was frosting. 398 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,260 I don't know. 399 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,550 Just never really thought about it, 400 00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:45,550 and I've been staring at it for a long time 401 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:47,810 and it changed my life, and I never noticed. 402 00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:50,600 Okay. 403 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,580 Well, I'm gonna get back to the unit. 404 00:15:02,650 --> 00:15:04,500 Is that a diversion? 405 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,520 - No, that was a pigeon. - Mm. 406 00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:09,960 Yeah. 407 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,750 Hey, you know this could be the last time 408 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,280 that I mistake a bird squawk for a diversion. 409 00:15:15,670 --> 00:15:18,340 I remember when you first came to this car. 410 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:24,200 Boy, you were so young and fresh-faced. 411 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,160 You were a kid. 412 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,199 But look at you now, 413 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,140 with your wrinkles and gray hair 414 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,140 and puffiness all around your face and your 415 00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:37,240 bloodshot eyes. Your skin is horrible. 416 00:15:37,260 --> 00:15:41,199 You're like an aging, sun-beaten, lesbian 417 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,540 paddle boarder. 418 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,280 Look at you now. 419 00:15:45,350 --> 00:15:47,610 - You're a mess. - Okay. 420 00:15:47,650 --> 00:15:48,880 Is this your going away speech? 421 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:51,160 - 'Cause it-it needs a little work. - Mm. 422 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,520 And let me just say, what I'm gonna miss about you... 423 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,680 - Hmm? - You know those moments 424 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:59,920 - where you go and get us coffee? - Yes. 425 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:04,020 And you're gone for, like, three minutes, four minutes? 426 00:16:04,110 --> 00:16:06,260 Yes. 427 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,630 Those are the moments, you know? 428 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,540 The golden moments for me. 429 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,180 Yeah. I get it. 430 00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:14,560 - Mm. - It's the, uh, 431 00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:18,180 moments of anticipation of when I'll be returning. 432 00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:20,280 Mm. 433 00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,160 Mm. 434 00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:23,680 Oh, God. 435 00:16:23,910 --> 00:16:25,440 Mm, yeah. 436 00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:27,680 Oh, my God, Larry. 437 00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:29,420 Larry-Larry's okay. 438 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,400 What happened? What the hell is going on? 439 00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:33,076 - Ooh! Larry, careful, careful. - Yeah. 440 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,540 You, uh, you got shot in the head, buddy. 441 00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:36,899 - No! Excuse me... - What? 442 00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:38,360 No. You got grazed by a bullet. 443 00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:39,900 Yeah, you walked over by the window, 444 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,240 - and then a sniper shot you... - You're gonna spook the baby. 445 00:16:42,260 --> 00:16:43,380 A sniper shot me? 446 00:16:43,410 --> 00:16:45,020 Yeah, but maybe it just grazed you? 447 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,379 Yeah, it just grazed you. 448 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,440 - It's not bad? - It's not bad at all. 449 00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:48,580 - Oh, it's fine. - Stop it. 450 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,240 No, you just got nicked by a bullet. It's nothing. 451 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,276 - You could barely see it. - How'd you guys end up on the ground? 452 00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:54,320 - Uh, we fell down. - Yeah, we fell down. 453 00:16:54,340 --> 00:16:56,620 You know what? I'm gonna untie you guys. 454 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:57,660 Thank you, Larry. 455 00:16:57,670 --> 00:17:00,160 That's very neglectful on my part. 456 00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:01,860 Ladies first. 457 00:17:01,940 --> 00:17:04,820 Yes, we're doing everything we can. Stand by. 458 00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,560 Janice, where have you been? 459 00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:08,240 The FBI is, like, 15 minutes away 460 00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:10,040 from taking over the entire operation. 461 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:13,440 Mm, I'm sensing a lot of anxiety here. 462 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,620 - Oh, you are? - Yeah. 463 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,280 That's so interesting that you're noticing 464 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:18,200 between all the chamomile tea and the pills 465 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,460 and the meditation. 466 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:22,460 I'm no longer a slave to stress. 467 00:17:22,510 --> 00:17:24,990 Well, that's fucking great, Janice. 468 00:17:25,030 --> 00:17:27,600 Unit 52, dispatch to Turnbull's house. 469 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,159 FBI wants to question Larry's wife. 470 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,170 Larry? 471 00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:33,900 Yeah. He has the hostages. 472 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,300 Larry Turnbull is the gunman? 473 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,760 Yeah. You're pretty much caught up. 474 00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:39,870 Oh, also, one of the hostages is FBI. 475 00:17:39,910 --> 00:17:42,040 Holy shit! Fuck! Balls! 476 00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:43,680 Oh, my God! 477 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,320 Larry is Mason's mentor! 478 00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:48,219 Larry made it all happen! 479 00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:49,479 Are you kidding me? 480 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,019 He made everything happen! 481 00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:53,500 The-the-the expulsion, the lawyer fees, 482 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,736 - it all hinged on Larry! - No. Janice. 483 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,440 - J-Janice, hold on, hold on. - Oh, don't! Shut up, Fats! 484 00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:58,000 They're just placebos. 485 00:17:58,020 --> 00:18:00,900 I can't take medication. I have allergies! 486 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,499 I'm riddled with them. 487 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,239 Get on the radio over there 488 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,659 and get in on this siege. 489 00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:07,619 Come on, let's go, go, go, go! 490 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:10,460 Danny. 491 00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:13,900 Danny. 492 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,270 Danny, damn it, you're being ridiculous. 493 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:16,290 Oh, I'm back. 494 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,520 Am I being ridiculous, Alec, am I? 495 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,660 Yes, you are being ridiculous. 496 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,630 In fact, I think someone's having a little tizzy. 497 00:18:21,650 --> 00:18:23,260 Oh, you want to see how much of a tizzy I can have? 498 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,980 Alpha Bravo to Dispatch. Fatima, are you there? 499 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,219 Copy that. 500 00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:28,440 Hey, Fatima, it's me, Danny. 501 00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:30,740 - Can you switch to five? - Switching to five. 502 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,460 Fatima, uh, look, 503 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,720 I'm real sorry about the whole unicorn thing. 504 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:38,100 Maybe... maybe you and I should just go out, the two of us? 505 00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:39,940 Yeah, I think I'm good. 506 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,660 Oh, come on, you were into it before. 507 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,440 Yeah, that was before your weird mom shit. 508 00:18:43,460 --> 00:18:44,770 Oh, don't worry about the weird mom shit. 509 00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:45,780 Come on, that's over. 510 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,540 Is this the sniper who shot Larry? 511 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,000 Oh, my God, this is such bullshit. 512 00:18:49,030 --> 00:18:50,440 Well, who is this? 513 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,240 Who is this? This is the third corner 514 00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:53,820 of the lamest love triangle in history. 515 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,400 Wait, is this a gay sniper threesome? 516 00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:58,880 - Who's this? - I've been in Dispatch long enough 517 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,920 to recognize a sniper threesome. 518 00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:03,860 A couple of big, butch sharks using unsuspecting girls 519 00:19:03,890 --> 00:19:06,300 as chum? Jesus Christ, 520 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,499 you snipers never change, do you? 521 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:11,100 You dumb frat boys with your blue balls, 522 00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:13,820 gorilla foreheads, sneak in here 523 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,340 to lure Fatima into some pathetic 524 00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:17,720 spit roast, is that it? 525 00:19:17,780 --> 00:19:20,670 You really are a stupid-ass, 526 00:19:20,710 --> 00:19:23,380 - regular son of a bitch! - What? 527 00:19:23,420 --> 00:19:25,700 Never call a gay son of a bitch a gay son of a bitch; 528 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,120 just call him a regular son of a bitch. 529 00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:29,060 Okay, that way you can't be accused of hate speech. 530 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,360 And that one's for free. 531 00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:32,560 And another thing, you regular son of a bitch. 532 00:19:32,580 --> 00:19:34,220 You know, you people make me sick, 533 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,440 and by "people," I don't mean gays, 534 00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:37,919 I mean snipers, 535 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,990 so don't go accusing me of homophobia, 536 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,320 you cocksuckers, 537 00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:44,900 because I've marched in more gay pride parades 538 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:46,740 than you've had hot jizz on your belly. 539 00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:48,980 Okay? So just go screw you 540 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,639 and your motherfucking partner. 541 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,100 Is that the right term now? 542 00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:54,620 What happened, a merger? Are you a Time Warner? 543 00:19:54,630 --> 00:19:57,480 Now eat some dicks. And if I find out 544 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,899 that you killed Larry, 545 00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:00,640 I'm gonna castrate you sick dogs 546 00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:01,940 with a cheese grater. 547 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,360 - Coffee? - Absolutely. 548 00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:06,000 Great. Get me one while you're at it. 549 00:20:06,020 --> 00:20:09,060 This chamomile tastes like placenta. 550 00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:18,239 One, two, one, two. Is this thing on? 551 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,479 - Hello? - Wait, is that Greg? 552 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:20,640 - Yeah. - Larry! 553 00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:22,140 - One, two. One, two. - So, what, is this the diversion? 554 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,590 - Do you hear me? - I guess. 555 00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:25,339 Larry, this is your brother, Greg. 556 00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:26,769 The police are allowing me 557 00:20:26,770 --> 00:20:29,020 to speak to you on behalf of the fact 558 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,860 that we're related to each other. 559 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,500 'Cause we're brothers. 560 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,340 Looks like your brother's out there. 561 00:20:36,470 --> 00:20:37,960 I don't have a brother. 562 00:20:37,980 --> 00:20:39,420 Okay, this is it. This is the diversion. 563 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,410 - This is the diversion? - Yeah. What's wrong? 564 00:20:41,430 --> 00:20:44,040 - It's just a weak diversion. - Well, what did you want? 565 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,460 I don't know, like, a firecracker 566 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,880 or something exploding, dynamite. 567 00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:49,280 - Tolbeck, Tolbeck... - Marching band. 568 00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:52,000 Tolbeck, Tolbeck, the diversion is for other people, okay? 569 00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:54,050 Not for us. It's a signal for us. It's a diversion for them. 570 00:20:54,070 --> 00:20:55,099 - Okay? - Okay. 571 00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:56,449 - Are you ready? We're gonna do this? - Yeah, yeah, you're right. 572 00:20:56,450 --> 00:20:58,480 - It's hero time. Let's go. - Yes, let's do it. Okay, let's go. 573 00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,940 You know, a naked woman, that's a great diversion. 574 00:21:03,060 --> 00:21:06,060 It's called symmetry, pal. 575 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:07,859 So, what'd you do, pal? 576 00:21:07,860 --> 00:21:09,760 They tell me you were corrupt. 577 00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:14,460 "For what profits a man to gain the whole world 578 00:21:14,580 --> 00:21:18,120 if he loses his soul?" 579 00:21:18,170 --> 00:21:20,420 Well, he-he gains the whole world. 580 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,430 That's... actually in the quote. 581 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,040 Uh, forget I said that. 582 00:21:26,090 --> 00:21:30,320 Sometimes you just hate the whole great American love story. 583 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,100 Boy meets dollar, 584 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,640 boy loses dollar, boy finds dollar. 585 00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:39,760 Are you corrupt? Fuck yeah! 586 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,060 All money is dirty. 587 00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:46,500 All motives are dirty, and all thoughts are filthy. 588 00:21:46,540 --> 00:21:48,639 You know what else is filthy? 589 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,589 The water! 590 00:21:50,590 --> 00:21:52,520 There's lead in the water. 591 00:21:52,940 --> 00:21:55,860 There's antidepressants in the ocean. 592 00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:58,339 There's plastic in the fish. 593 00:21:58,340 --> 00:21:59,370 - Okay. - Okay. 594 00:21:59,380 --> 00:22:00,380 - It says to go to the left. - Okay. 595 00:22:00,390 --> 00:22:01,660 - Yeah, yeah. Pink. Pink. - That one. To the left. 596 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:02,999 No, no, no. No, no, no. Where you going? Wait. 597 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,199 No, it says pink, 598 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:05,779 - make a left. - Yeah, no, this is orange. 599 00:22:05,780 --> 00:22:06,980 - That's orange? - I think. 600 00:22:06,990 --> 00:22:08,099 - This highlighter. - I can't fucking read. 601 00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:09,436 - I think that's it. Come on. - Aah. 602 00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:11,340 Hey, did you know nothing rhymes with "orange"? 603 00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:13,800 - Shush. - You think society's divided? 604 00:22:13,820 --> 00:22:17,180 Take a look at your own mind, man! 605 00:22:17,220 --> 00:22:21,710 Your brain is a computer running an unhappiness program. 606 00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:25,400 Keep going, keep going. 607 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,440 Oh, wait, no, no, that, that, that. 608 00:22:27,460 --> 00:22:29,850 Uh, "Dolphin... dolphin smoking a cigar. 609 00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:31,980 Use the lad-dar." 610 00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:34,630 - Lad-dar, lad... - The ladder. Ladder! 611 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,120 - Great, great. - Hey, this is fun. 612 00:22:37,140 --> 00:22:38,260 Shut up. 613 00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:40,420 You're not alone, Lar. 614 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,280 You're not alone. 615 00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:47,250 Every minute of every day, people are having babies, 616 00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:50,600 and every one of them's a little more cockeyed. 617 00:22:51,300 --> 00:22:52,400 Come on. You okay? 618 00:22:52,420 --> 00:22:53,440 - Come on, quick, quick. - Yeah, yeah. 619 00:22:53,450 --> 00:22:55,480 - We're on the roof. - I know. Come on. 620 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,420 We said this... we said this before. Roof. 621 00:22:57,700 --> 00:22:58,880 Okay. 622 00:22:58,890 --> 00:23:00,830 Okay, uh, this way. 623 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,099 I think this way. 624 00:23:02,100 --> 00:23:03,550 All right, let's do it. 625 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,120 Larry, I got news for you. 626 00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:09,290 You are an outlaw in a society 627 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,760 that has outlawed outlaws. 628 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:12,980 Here we go. You good? 629 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,610 - Yeah. - You good? Stay with me. 630 00:23:14,630 --> 00:23:16,230 - Stay with me. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 631 00:23:16,330 --> 00:23:17,720 - I can't do it. - You can. 632 00:23:17,740 --> 00:23:18,940 - Just hop across. - Okay. 633 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,140 - Come on. - Okay. Cool, cool, cool, cool. 634 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:22,860 - Quickly. - Okay, you know what? I'm heavy. 635 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,256 - I'm weighed down. - No, no, you're fine. 636 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:25,290 - No, no. - It's not far. 637 00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:26,339 Here, just take my gun. 638 00:23:26,340 --> 00:23:28,619 - What? No. Hey! Whoa! - Here, take that. 639 00:23:28,620 --> 00:23:29,629 - Just, you know what? - Handcuffs. 640 00:23:29,630 --> 00:23:31,159 - This stuff'll keep me weighted down. - Tolbeck. 641 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,020 - Phone, wallet. - Shit. 642 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:34,240 - Hey. - Okay, here we go, here we go. 643 00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:35,640 - Here we go. - Okay. 644 00:23:35,660 --> 00:23:38,300 - Okay. - A-And three, two, one, go! 645 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:42,340 - Okay. - You know what? Just wait here. 646 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:44,799 - I'll be... I won't be long, okay? - No, don't leave me up here. 647 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,099 - Just give me a second. - Okay. 648 00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:47,110 - All right. - Quickly. 649 00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:48,340 Who are we? 650 00:23:48,380 --> 00:23:51,320 We're cannibals with a meat allergy. 651 00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:53,540 It's not "give and take" anymore, Lar. 652 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,260 It's "grab and take." 653 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,599 - Kind of like this guy. - I know, right? 654 00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:59,640 Not bad. 655 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,340 - Tolbeck, you can do this, you can do this. - Here we go. For the money. 656 00:24:01,350 --> 00:24:03,120 - Yeah. - Ready? One, two, three, go! 657 00:24:03,140 --> 00:24:04,200 - Okay. - Go. 658 00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:06,000 No. See, you're looking at me. 659 00:24:06,020 --> 00:24:07,760 Don't look at me, man. I don't like that. 660 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:08,899 - Okay. - Look away. 661 00:24:08,900 --> 00:24:10,080 All right, I'll look away. 662 00:24:10,100 --> 00:24:12,720 We're living in a postapocalyptic 663 00:24:12,740 --> 00:24:14,900 wasteland, and we didn't even get 664 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:17,000 the goddamn apocalypse! 665 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,480 Unless, uh, it happened one night 666 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,960 when we were all hunched over our screens. 667 00:24:22,020 --> 00:24:24,860 Anybody see a bright flash one night? 668 00:24:24,940 --> 00:24:27,580 All right, I'm-I'm gonna get back on track. 669 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,120 - Okay, here we go. - Fuck, Tolbeck! 670 00:24:30,180 --> 00:24:31,420 Would you stop yelling at me? 671 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:32,930 Your yelling is not helping. 672 00:24:32,970 --> 00:24:35,230 - Say something positive, okay? - Okay. 673 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:36,980 You-you can do this. You can do this. 674 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,360 - You're great at jumping. - Okay. 675 00:24:38,380 --> 00:24:39,440 Okay? 676 00:24:39,470 --> 00:24:41,460 We have spent a century 677 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,580 sitting behind desks. 678 00:24:43,660 --> 00:24:46,160 We're like the goddamn people of Pompeii, 679 00:24:46,180 --> 00:24:48,600 and if they excavate us in a hundred years, 680 00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:52,020 all they're gonna find is a bunch of sad, 681 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,300 chair-shaped creatures. 682 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,560 - Okay, here we go. Here we go. - Here we go. 683 00:24:56,580 --> 00:24:57,690 - Here we go. - Here we go. 684 00:24:57,730 --> 00:24:59,020 - Here we go. - Go. 685 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,560 - Mmm... - Go! 686 00:25:00,610 --> 00:25:02,000 Okay, I need a running start. 687 00:25:02,020 --> 00:25:05,420 All we want is a friend, all we want is a partner, 688 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:10,350 all we want is a coconspirator to listen to us. 689 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,300 Danny, I need to tell you something. 690 00:25:12,750 --> 00:25:14,740 I'm not a platinum gay. 691 00:25:14,750 --> 00:25:17,020 We are lonely. 692 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,060 We are isolated and alienated. 693 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,410 I was 11 years old. 694 00:25:22,450 --> 00:25:24,880 I was helping a friend's sister onto a zip line, and... 695 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,020 ... well, my hand... 696 00:25:29,070 --> 00:25:31,360 lightly brushed against her vagina. 697 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,640 What? 698 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,160 She wasn't wearing any underpants? 699 00:25:36,210 --> 00:25:38,000 On a zip line? 700 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,480 She was a weird kid. 701 00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:42,380 Okay, Tolbeck, you can do this. 702 00:25:42,420 --> 00:25:44,379 We're gonna save the day, okay? We're gonna be heroes. 703 00:25:44,380 --> 00:25:45,759 We're gonna get medals. 704 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:47,600 I'm gonna get in the FBI, okay? 705 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,750 All because of you and this jump 706 00:25:49,790 --> 00:25:51,540 that you can do now! 707 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,540 All we want is someone to love us 708 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,480 and not give us a one-star Yelp review. 709 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,760 Hey, look, Alec, you know... 710 00:26:01,980 --> 00:26:04,200 I don't give a fuck what you are. 711 00:26:04,860 --> 00:26:06,420 I fuckin' love you. 712 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,030 I fuckin' love you, too. 713 00:26:11,860 --> 00:26:13,120 - Let's do this. - Let's do it. 714 00:26:13,140 --> 00:26:15,100 - Let's do this. - Here we go. And... 715 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:17,260 three, two, one, go. 716 00:26:17,300 --> 00:26:18,620 - Okay, okay, okay. - Go! 717 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:19,919 Tolbeck... ! 718 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:20,959 Oh! 719 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,260 Shit! 720 00:26:22,300 --> 00:26:24,240 - Tolbeck! - Ow! 721 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:27,600 - Are you okay? - Officer down. Officer down. 722 00:26:27,630 --> 00:26:29,959 Okay, you look okay. I'm gonna keep going, all right? 723 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,880 No, wait, don't go! 724 00:26:31,900 --> 00:26:34,300 I think I've done something to my ankle. 725 00:26:34,530 --> 00:26:36,280 Can you move, buddy? 726 00:26:36,300 --> 00:26:38,180 I'm trying. Aah! 727 00:26:38,220 --> 00:26:40,540 I'm... Okay, I'm stay... I-I won't go. 728 00:26:40,580 --> 00:26:42,890 I won't go. I'll stay here. 729 00:26:42,930 --> 00:26:45,300 Fuckin' Tolbeck'd me on this. 730 00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:47,380 - What? - Nothing. Nothing. 731 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,500 Let's face it, Larry. 732 00:26:50,550 --> 00:26:52,740 Let's be honest. 733 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,160 You and me... 734 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,510 we're not brothers. 735 00:26:58,550 --> 00:27:00,120 I don't even know you. 736 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,600 These g... 737 00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:04,290 I'm-I'm, like, halfway done. 738 00:27:05,430 --> 00:27:07,280 I'm halfway. 739 00:27:07,380 --> 00:27:09,300 He's right. 740 00:27:09,350 --> 00:27:11,560 What's the point? 741 00:27:11,580 --> 00:27:13,480 I want to give myself up. That's it. 742 00:27:13,530 --> 00:27:15,160 Okay, hang on. Listen, 743 00:27:15,180 --> 00:27:16,799 this is what we're gonna do. 744 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,040 I can walk him out, safely. 745 00:27:19,060 --> 00:27:20,860 Okay? You're gonna turn yourself in, 746 00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:22,919 but I'll make sure you're treated fair, okay? 747 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,400 I'm FBI. Give me your gun. 748 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:28,930 And you... 749 00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:31,200 you're gonna get the fuck out of here. 750 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,200 - All right. - Okay? 751 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:34,720 I'll find you. 752 00:27:35,260 --> 00:27:37,320 You better, Daddy. 753 00:27:38,020 --> 00:27:40,180 Now, shut up and kiss your daddy. 754 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:43,260 - Oh, beautiful... - "Daddy"? 755 00:27:51,870 --> 00:27:53,800 Are you Daddy or is she Daddy? 756 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,300 Oh, she's Daddy. 757 00:27:55,340 --> 00:27:58,219 Now, let's get the fuck out of here. 758 00:27:58,220 --> 00:28:00,120 Cullen. 759 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,580 - I was close, wasn't I? - Yeah, you were close. 760 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:04,676 You know, with another try, I think you could make it. 761 00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:06,940 - For sure. - Oh, Cullen, I'm sorry. 762 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,660 - I ruined everything. - No. 763 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,480 You're not gonna get in the FBI now. 764 00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:12,660 No, hey, don't be sorry. You know, 765 00:28:12,700 --> 00:28:14,820 this isn't the end. 766 00:28:15,330 --> 00:28:16,440 Stop! Freeze! 767 00:28:16,460 --> 00:28:17,920 Don't move! Don't move. 768 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,100 Cullen! Don't go! Don't leave me! 769 00:28:22,420 --> 00:28:23,720 It's over, guys. 770 00:28:23,740 --> 00:28:25,400 The siege is over. They're coming out. 771 00:28:26,030 --> 00:28:28,460 I'm an FBI special agent! 772 00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:30,559 I've got Detective Turnbull, 773 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:31,940 and I'm bringing him out. 774 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,399 He is unarmed. 775 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,790 I have his firearm in my left hand. 776 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:37,870 Please put your weapons down. 777 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,060 Guys? Come on. 778 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,700 Here you go. Thank you. Thank you. 779 00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:46,680 I got one. 780 00:28:47,140 --> 00:28:48,540 I got her... 781 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,020 I got her out of the back. 782 00:28:50,050 --> 00:28:52,040 I arrested her. 783 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:53,800 You FBI? 784 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,360 Great. Thank you. 785 00:28:57,180 --> 00:29:00,000 Hey, how you guys going? You FBI? FBI? 786 00:29:00,020 --> 00:29:02,460 Yeah. You took down Larry? 787 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:04,700 Much respect. Much respect. 788 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,480 I kind of put him up there, so I guess, uh, I set him up, 789 00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:09,220 you guys knock him down. That's a good team. 790 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:11,840 Hey, uh, this is weird, 791 00:29:11,860 --> 00:29:13,580 but I got an application in with you guys. 792 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,546 Uh, just wondering if you could put in a good word for me. 793 00:29:15,570 --> 00:29:18,140 You know, I'm the guy who took down Larry's accomplice. 794 00:29:18,180 --> 00:29:21,240 - Anything you could do would be great. - Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. 795 00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:22,376 We'd love to help. What's your name? 796 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,400 - Uh, Detective Cullen. - Ah. Great. 797 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,440 - You know what, Detective Cullen? - Yeah? 798 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:27,959 Buddy, tonight's your night. 799 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,140 - Great. - Right? 800 00:29:29,180 --> 00:29:32,060 I am personally gonna go back to the Bureau, 801 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,000 I'm gonna find your application, 802 00:29:34,020 --> 00:29:38,540 and I'm gonna tear it up into tiny little pieces, 803 00:29:38,580 --> 00:29:42,370 and then I'm gonna eat all of the pieces of your application, 804 00:29:42,410 --> 00:29:44,860 so that I can shit it out later. 805 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:46,339 And then I'm gonna go 806 00:29:46,340 --> 00:29:48,479 and I'm gonna find the people in the recruitment office, 807 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,040 and I'm gonna tell them your name, 808 00:29:50,060 --> 00:29:51,700 and if you reapply, 809 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,880 they're gonna send that application to me. 810 00:29:53,900 --> 00:29:55,770 I'm gonna eat that application, 811 00:29:55,820 --> 00:29:57,500 and I'm gonna shit that out. 812 00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,640 And every time I shit your application out, 813 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:04,259 I'm gonna box it up and I'm gonna send it to your house. 814 00:30:04,260 --> 00:30:05,579 Okay? 815 00:30:05,580 --> 00:30:07,500 That's what I'm gonna do to your application, 816 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,740 'cause you will never, ever... 817 00:30:10,790 --> 00:30:13,240 get into the FBI as long as I'm in this Bureau. 818 00:30:13,260 --> 00:30:14,280 You got that, pal? 819 00:30:15,860 --> 00:30:17,120 Wipe that smile off your face. 820 00:30:17,140 --> 00:30:18,219 - Hey, hey, hey! - You son of a bitch! 821 00:30:18,220 --> 00:30:19,500 - Hey! - You laugh at me? 822 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,519 - I will destroy you! Okay? - Okay. 823 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:22,840 - Okay. - I will end you, 824 00:30:22,850 --> 00:30:24,480 - Detective Cullen! - Okay. 825 00:30:24,500 --> 00:30:27,480 Oh, I would love... I would love to destroy you. 826 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,500 Okay, let me go, let me go, let me go. I'm fine. 827 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,740 I got to go. My-my partner's pretty sick anyway. 828 00:30:31,780 --> 00:30:33,620 - Kind of got banged up, so.. - Oh, no! 829 00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:37,120 Oh, oh, oh, everybody, hold everything! 830 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:40,120 - Good job. - Detective Cullen's partner is sick! 831 00:30:40,220 --> 00:30:42,120 Oh, no! 832 00:30:42,180 --> 00:30:44,980 What's gonna happen? Where you going? 833 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,260 Where you going, you're just gonna kind of wander away? 834 00:30:47,300 --> 00:30:48,960 Look around? 835 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,360 What a fuckin' piece of garbage. 836 00:30:53,660 --> 00:30:55,860 - _ - Disgraced police officer Larry Turnbull 837 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:56,939 was dismissed today 838 00:30:56,940 --> 00:30:59,200 from the San Diego Police Department. 839 00:30:59,220 --> 00:31:02,060 Turnbull was beloved by his fellow officers, 840 00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,980 known as the "Patron Saint of Police." 841 00:31:05,020 --> 00:31:06,160 We did it, buddy. 842 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:07,370 We sure did. 843 00:31:09,540 --> 00:31:11,540 - Thank you. - Thank you. 844 00:31:12,500 --> 00:31:14,780 Are you pinning this on, or... ? 845 00:31:14,820 --> 00:31:17,200 - This is nice. - Yeah. 846 00:31:17,250 --> 00:31:18,319 - Hey. - Oh, can we... 847 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:19,499 can we get another, please? 848 00:31:24,740 --> 00:31:27,260 Okay. Uh, here we go. 849 00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:29,030 All right. 850 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:30,280 Hey, Pete. 851 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,120 Hey, Pete. 852 00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,080 - You okay? - Thank you, buddy. 853 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,210 Hey, thanks for coming out, man. 854 00:31:42,910 --> 00:31:45,740 - So, what'd you think? - Yeah, it was good, right? 855 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,960 Yeah. It could have been better produced, but... 856 00:31:48,010 --> 00:31:49,220 Well, you know... 857 00:31:49,270 --> 00:31:50,530 - Hey. - Whew. 858 00:31:50,570 --> 00:31:51,880 - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 859 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:53,240 - Oh. - Wow. 860 00:31:53,260 --> 00:31:55,280 - Okay. - Lot of clumsy cops today. 861 00:31:55,300 --> 00:31:57,100 Yeah, I don't think those were accidents. 862 00:31:58,480 --> 00:31:59,579 - Thank you. - Okay. 863 00:31:59,580 --> 00:32:00,840 Good day. 864 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,060 Oh. 865 00:32:03,900 --> 00:32:05,440 Dickless rats. 866 00:32:05,450 --> 00:32:07,459 - Dickless rats? Us? - Just keep walking. 867 00:32:07,460 --> 00:32:08,800 - Keep walking. - No. 868 00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:12,290 Hello. 869 00:32:12,330 --> 00:32:13,780 Hi. 870 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,260 Woopsy. 871 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:17,840 Looks like I fucked up there. 872 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,480 You know what that's like. 873 00:32:21,390 --> 00:32:23,140 - Yoink. - Turd-hole. 874 00:32:23,150 --> 00:32:24,220 - You okay? - Yeah. 875 00:32:24,250 --> 00:32:26,090 That's for Larry, you motherfuckers. 876 00:32:26,130 --> 00:32:28,630 Larry was the heart and soul of this department, 877 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:29,870 you rat fucks! 878 00:32:29,890 --> 00:32:31,440 Okay. Okay. 879 00:32:33,140 --> 00:32:38,140 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 880 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,560 Guh-doosh. 63539

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