All language subtitles for House Husbands s01e05.eng

Carb loading.

You've got a big training session
today.

Didn't you train yesterday?
Grand final tomorrow.

We need all the practice we can get.

"We" as in you, Dad,
or the 5-year-olds?

Wow! Look at you.

You look great.

Going somewhere special?

Just... out.

Alright. Now, Poppy, I want you
to try and stop it if you can, OK?

Remember you can use your hands,
Pop.

Or your feet.

Over here, kids. Over here.
Over here. Come on.

Why does Lewis have a whistle?

I don't know. Last time I looked,
I was coach. Come on.

Rightio. Listen up.

Now, when you're kicking for goal,

don't kick it
straight to the goalie.

Poppy might not be stopping them,
but the opposition will.

What does that mean?
They're a really good team.

So when you kick for goal,

kick to the left-hand or
the right-hand side of the goalie.

- Got it?
- Yep.

OK. Go!

I'm good.

Alright. Bring it over here.

So Mum will pick you up
after soccer training, alright?

OK.
Alright. Go get them.

Where are you going?
Out.

Something special? We got training.

Just out.

Don't forget to pass the ball.

Eyes this way. Eyes this way, kids.
Go, Otters!

Ouch.

Sorry I'm running late. Nicola
was meant to pick up Angie already.

We can reschedule.
No. No. No. She'll be here any sec.

You mind looking after Angie
while I get cleaned up?

Sure.

Thank you.

Hello, baby.

Hey, baby. Look at this.

Lovely keys.

What is wrong? What is...?

Have you been chewing on these?

Where's the...?
There's a little key thing.

The little L,
where has that gone?

Don't. Baby. Baby. Baby.

Where...? Have you...?

Oh, no.

Justin?

What's going on?

I gave Angie my keys

because she was upset,
as you do with babies.

And she was, like, sucking on them.

And I think that she might
have swallowed the charm.

It's just this little L
that I keep with my key ring.

And it was on my keys.
And now it's not.

So did you see her swallow it?
No, not exactly.

Can I clarify?
Was anyone actually watching Angie?

I only looked away for a second.

It's an L, right.

L...you know, for Lucy.

Stella's leg's still hurting.

Get some ice on it.

We've been overdoing the training.

Maybe you shouldn't have insisted
on the extra session.

Yeah. I hope she's alright
for tomorrow.

She'll be right.
She's our star striker.

Hey, you want to come around
to my place?

I got some ideas on how to deal with
subbing the kids

on and off the field.

Well, there's seven kids.
It's five a side.

Two of them
are going to have to peel oranges.

No. We rotate like we always have.

Yeah. Well, they can all have a go.

But you don't want your weaker kids
spending too much time on the field

during a grand final.

Weaker kids?

Which ones would they be?

I'm just going by the stats.

Rotation policy stays.

All the kids are on the field
for the same amount of time.

What? I just want us to win.

Something wrong with that?

I swallowed
one of my granddad's cufflinks once.

And I'm still here
to tell the story.

And then when I was six,
I put a grape in my ear

just to see
if it would turn into a sultana.

Do you mind if I make a call?

Just to see if, um, Angie's OK?

Oh, yeah. Go for it.

Sweet.

How is she?

I've changed her nappy.
There's nothing.

OK. Well, it's still early days.

I'm not going to wait for her
to get a bowel obstruction.

I'm taking her to the hospital.

Well, I'll meet you there then.

Bit late to play concerned parent.

Angie needs
your undivided attention.

You don't take your eyes
off her... ever.

We, uh... don't need
to go to the hospital.

What? What do you mean?

Where did you get that?

It was by the edge of the rug.

What?

And you pocketed it?
We've got a custody case coming up.

I thought we could use it as,
you know, ammunition.

We're not the bad guys here.

We don't have to stoop
to these kind of tactics.

You want sole custody, don't you?
Yes. Of course I do.

The point is
she could have swallowed it.

Angie's just a little baby.
The boys are only five.

They need stability...

to be raised in one, safe home,

not toing and froing between places

left with... with random girlfriends.

I don't want you
pulling a stunt like that again.

I can't help how protective I am
of these kids.

They're like my own.

Hey, thank you for lunch.
It was, you know...

It was a disaster.

I'm sorry. It was just...

Maybe we could do it again sometime.

Choking your daughter
and not eating an expensive meal?

Hey.

Angie's OK. We got the charm.

So it came out then?
Yeah.

Fantastic.

Can you talk or...?

I've got to go to work.

See you later.
Yeah.

Cool. I'll... I'll call you.

What do you want, Nic?

Custody case
isn't looking good for you, Justin...

with the bus incident
and hitting Rodney in the face.

I'm happy to settle out of court

if you'll just agree to stick
to the current arrangements.

What? Two days, no nights?

Yeah.

Mmm.

Why now?
Why come to me with this now?

Because...

minimal contact
is better than no contact at all.

How about I get the kids and promise
not to punch your boyfriend again?

Two days, no nights.
I keep sole custody.

Accept this or you could
end up with nothing.

It's your call.

Look. Tactics.

Soccer tactics for 5-year-olds.

Shania Twain?

It was the '90s. I was lonely.

I can see why.

Do we even need a wedding dance?
Yeah. Course you do. Everyone does.

Did you?
No.

Well, see?

But I regret it.

I kept being you...

denying my inner bridezilla,
trying to be cool.

In the end,

our bridal waltz consisted of Mark
and Kane doing the chicken dance.

Mmm. So much for cool.

What about 'Dirty Dancing'?

Hey, Lewis?
Yeah?

What do you think about
'Dirty Dancing'?

Oh, yeah. Sure, if you want
to dance with someone else.

We need something that speaks to us.

You know, like that
old Stones track.

Like with your first wife?

Ouch!

I'll get it.

Yeah. You get it.
Mmm.

I should get going.

OK, baby.
See you, gorg.

Didn't know
if I had the right place.

That depends on what you're after.

Beer.
I can help you there.

I guess this is where
we do the whole intro thing.

I'm Max.

I'm Lucy.

Pleased to meet you, Lucy.

It's my housemate, checking
whether he should feed my dog.

What kind of dog do you have?

A hungry one.

I used to have
this beautiful old border collie.

Luna, right?

How do you know the name of my dog?

Come on, Lucy, we don't need
to keep doing this, do we?

Sorry? Doing what?

This whole 'date that's not a date'
thing.

You sent the first email.

I never emailed you.

Oh, OK.

Yeah, I kind of figured
you were crazy

when you suggested
we pretend we don't know each other.

We don't know each other.

Last time I try
the online dating thing.

Online?

What do you mean she wants
to cut a deal? That's not a deal.

Her and dopey getting to decide

when and if you get to see
your own kids?

Bugger that.
You're not going for that, are you?

You've seen my CV?

Since when did you play
a defensive game?

You've got to go on the attack.

Tell her you want 50% custody
and you'll see her in court.

I don't like my chances, mate.

You made a few mistakes. So what?
Who hasn't? I'm not perfect.

I've watched you with Zac and Jacob.
You're a great dad.

And I'd be happy to sign
a piece of paper to that effect

or stand up in court
and say it if it will help.

And so would the other blokes -
and Gem.

Gem, are you listening to this?
Every word.

And it's a yes, Justin.
Anything we can do to help.

Lean on your mates.
That's what they're for.

Hey, sweetheart.

Did you set me up on a date?

Might want to finish this up later,
mate. I'll give you a lift home.

Lewis, what is she talking about?

We can stick your bike
in the back of the car.

Your freak of a fiance created
an online dating profile for me.

What?

He's been emailing guys,
pretending to be me.

Why would he do that?

It's a very good question,
isn't it, Dad.

Car's out the front.

I don't need a lift.

Don't be stupid.
It's freezing out there, mate.

What? You're setting up Lucy
with some dates?

Yeah, I was showing her
she had options.

Oh, options.

Options other than me, right?

I mean, look at this.
It's a giveaway.

Under "Influential people
in my life"...

"Martin Luther King, Ghandi,
JFK and my dad."

Justin's on the rebound. His life's
a mess. You don't need that.

Since when did you become an expert
at what I need?

Oh, don't give him that opening.
I picked a good one, didn't I?

Check out his profile -
smart, handsome.

He's a law student, just like Lucy.

Max thinks I'm a nut job.

What did you think would happen?

Well, I thought there might be
a bit of confusion at first,

but then the chemistry
would take over.

You're unbelievable.

You scored 98% compatibility.

No, Dad. You scored.
You filled out the form.

Maybe you should date him.

Maybe you should marry him.

Look at that composure.
You see where he's looking?

He's looking at the eyes.

He's watching the eyes
of his opposition player.

That's how players
state their intent.

The feet are just there
to bamboozle you.

You think about that on grand final
day when you're in goals, OK?

I want you to focus on the eyes.
Not the feet, the eyes.

Mark? She's asleep.

Don't you think you're taking
this whole soccer thing

a little too seriously?

This is a bit rich coming from
the girl who gave up swimming

because she didn't make
the regionals.

I made regionals.
It was state I didn't make.

And I would have if it hadn't been
for bloody Michaela Davidson

and her non-regulation tumble turns.

Good to see you're over it.

Look, I know your dad has a strange
way of dealing with things but...

he does love you in his own
emotionally challenged way.

He's a control freak.

My whole life
he has had to micro-manage.

Now he's on to my love-life.

I just don't know
what he's scared of.

What is the worst possible thing
that could happen

if Justin and I
started seeing one another?

You could fall in love with him
and he could go back to his ex.

Apart from that.

How's that? Any better?

Really? You're not just saying that
so I'll let you play today?

Because I'm beginning to think
you shouldn't.

Uncle Tom said I could.

Did he?

Uh... Yeah.
I could have.

Grand final fever
still running high in your house?

What is it
with boys and their balls?

So...

what are you two doing here?

Starting to feel like
we've moved in, aren't we, Stell?

Whose pics?

This one. Leg's hurting.

Oh, is it still giving you grief,
darling?

Yeah. I'm worried
she might have a hairline fracture.

You would, you hypochondriac.

Give me a look.

The doctor thinks
it's just muscle strain.

Well, you guys
have been playing pretty hard.

Her leg looks fine to me.

That mean I can still play?

Looks like it, sweetie.

Yay!

They did her lower back too?

Yeah. She's had some back pain.

Doctor reckons
it's just muscles overcompensating.

Why don't I take a proper look
at these on the light box?

Then I can write you guys
a ticket out of this joint.

Get him under the ribs. Come on.

Give up the ball. Oh, yes!

Yes! Yes!

Yay!
Hi!

Mummy!
Mummy!

Where's Angie? Is she asleep?
Yeah.

Boys, grab your bags. Nice job.

Two days doesn't cut it.

Look, I've made some mistakes,
Nic...

but I won't let the kids
become another one.

I can't be Mr Minimal. Sorry.

Well, I guess I'll see you in court
then.

Bye, Daddy.
Give me a hug. Give me a hug. Ohh!

Nic.

The footy. There you go.

Bye. Love you.

Were you hiding?

No. I was, um...

I had... I'd come to drop off your
car. And then I dropped the keys.

And so that's why I was, like...

on the ground.

Um, anyway.

Here.

Um, I really appreciate
the loan of the car.

But I can't keep driving your car.
Why not?

Dad was right.
It was the insurance issue.

I mean, if I had a crash,
I'm not covered, you're not covered.

It puts you at risk.
It puts me at risk.

It's just too much risk.
I'll change policies then.

I don't think that you should.
I've really got to go.

Lucy.

See you.
Lucy.

Hey, Gem. Can you take a look
at something for me?

Right there. See anything?

No.
What are we looking at?

Uh, there's pressure on L4.

Who's the patient?
My niece.

Abi, there are reasons
we don't treat family.

Can you organise an MRI
as soon as possible?

No. I'm not.

Here. You draw up a new game.
I'll be right back. OK?

Uh, we got the results of the MRI.

She's broken her leg, hasn't she?

She's not going to be able to play.

Where's Tom?
He's at work. Why?

Tom's her legal guardian.
I should be telling him this first.

OK. You're starting to spook me now.
What's up?

They found a small tumour
on Stella's spine.

It's impacting on the spinal cord,
which is why her leg's hurting.

We need to take a biopsy
and then we'll know more.

I'm sorry.

Hey. How is she?

She still doesn't understand
what's going on.

Maybe you can go and talk to her,
explain the logic of the biopsy.

Look, they need you to fill in these
forms. They need your consent.

Just... just sign here and here.
I filled in all the details.

Maybe you pushed her too hard
when you trained her.

We knew she had something in
the leg. And you've done too much.

This is not about overtraining.
It's a tumour.

Are you alright
to sit with her for a while?

Where are you going?
Home.

I wanna get her teddy and PJs.

Mate? Where have you been?
We've got to talk tactics.

I've got a few great attacking moves
here I want to run past you.

Haven't you heard?

Stella's sick.

Oh, that's no good, mate.
We've no chance without Stella.

It's a tumour, Lewis.

Oh, well, the other kids will just
have to rise to the challenge,

cope without her.

This kitchen's like an Olympic pool
when it rains.

And they're predicting more
later in the week.

I was hoping you'd give me a hand.

Doesn't sound like a 2-man job.

Well, roofs and water -
could be tricky...

like women

Could use your expertise.

I thought with Stella sick,

it would be a load off Kane's mind
to have it sorted.

But if you're too busy...
No. I'll help.

But I'm doing this for Kane.
Let's be clear on that.

Yeah. The sealant round
the skylight's rotted out.

It's probably just a silicone job.

I thought you said it was tricky.

Your nose still out of joint?

Why do you think that would be,
mate?

What? You think I'm not good enough
for your daughter.

Justin, you're at different points
in your life.

You've just come out
of a long-term marriage.

You want to sow your wild oats.
Nothing wrong with that.

Oh, is that what I'm doing, is it?
Yeah. Yeah.

You'd know. You know everything.

Lucy's not a wild oats kind of girl.

She's 23. How about
you let her decide what she is?

I'm her father - I'm not going
to stand here and argue with you

about what's right for my daughter.

You think you know
what's best for everyone,

don't you?

What? You're gonna deny it?

Go on. Admit it.

You're a controlling bastard.

Yeah. Real mature.

You've hardly said a word to Stella
all day.

She's starting to pick up on it.

I don't know what to say to her.

Just talk to her.

You got the results from the biopsy?

Yeah. The tumour's benign.

So it's not cancer?

We're not out of the woods yet.

The tumour is positioned
quite close to the spinal cord.

So as it grows, it's going to create
more problems for her.

Can't you just cut it out?
Yes.

But you need to be aware

that there's a possible risk
of paralysis.

I'm going to call Mum.
She needs to be here.

I can't do this kind of thing
on my own.

You're not on your own.

You know what I mean.

No, I don't.

I'm not cut out for this.

I'm not a parent.
I don't know what I'm doing.

I leave everything up to you.
You're not even related.

Look, it's about time
that I faced the fact

that Stella is better off with
my mum and dad looking after her.

Your sister chose you as guardian
for a reason.

She wanted you to look after her.

You signed up for that.

OK. What do I know about parenting?

Pull yourself together.

It's... Every time that
I look at her, I see my sister.

It's happening all over again.

I know.

But thinking the worst
isn't going to help anyone.

There's a little girl in there
who needs you.

It's time you manned up.

Stella, where are you going?
Soccer.

I'm sorry, sweetie,
but soccer's off the agenda now.

I want to go.
I'm sorry.

And I don't want to have
the operation.

You have to, Stell.

Why?

Because it will make you better.

Poppy needs me.

Listen to me, darling girl.

I can't let you play, honey.

But what if I said
we could all go to the game together

and you could cheer on your friends?

Would that be good?

Good girl.

You want to tell me
how you got stuck up there?

I sleepwalked.

Why did you call me?
Don't you have any other friends?

Well, my phone
is actually stuck on L, for Lucy.

You better get a new phone.
No, I like this one.

Hey, I want you, uh...

to see the view.

What?
Get up here!

Seriously, you won't regret a thing.

Get up here.

See.

Told you.

It's good, isn't it?

OK. Everybody gather round. Coach
Kane is going to give you a talk.

Come on, girls, come over here.

It will be OK, Stella.
I'll take care of you.

Alright. Eyes this way.

You're all
such a great bunch of kids.

I've really, really enjoyed
coaching you.

And... it's been a pretty big week.

And, uh...

Yeah. It's been a big week
of training, kids.

And I know you're probably
all a little bit tired and sore.

And I know what it's like
to be tired...

you don't feel like
chasing after that ball.

You want to give up,
let somebody else do your job.

But today nobody gives up.

Because if you give up...

that means
you let your team mates down.

And the biggest crime in my book
is letting a mate down.

There's a lot of talent
in this team.

Zac, with his speed.

Jacob with that booming right foot.

Tilda, iron defence.

Poppy, what can I say?

Big smile, big heart.

Individual brilliance is one thing,

backing up your team mates -
that's what it's all about.

And today, one of our team mates
can't be out there.

I reckon Stella
would give her other front tooth

to be out there with you guys today

but she can't.

So when your legs feel heavy
and tired...

and you feel like
you can't run anymore,

I want you to think of Stella
and run harder.

Alright. Get down and warm up.

Let's go, Otters.
Come on, Otters.

Come on, Otters.

Let's do it.
Let's go, Otters.

Nice speech.
Thanks.

I came by to pick you up,
by the way.

I wasn't going to leave you
stranded up there all day.

Just that Lucy got there first.

Try not to break her heart.

Tackle him, Zac. Tackle him.

Off you go, Zac.
No. No. Other way.

Other way.

Go! Shoot! Shoot!

Shoot!

Oh!

Men and their balls.

Come on, boys. Come on.

Go, Zac!

Go, son!

Pass the ball.

Go, Zac!

Yay! Jacob.

Go, the Otters!

Yes! Teamwork. Yes.

It's 1-1 with two minutes to go.
Oh, it's ours. Come on, Otters.

Yeah. Well, technically,
it's Poppy's turn in goal.

I mean, if she misses one of these,
it will crush her.

Well, I'll leave it up to you guys.

I'm not so sure
it's such a good idea.

Let her go goalie.

What's the worst
thing that can happen? We lose?

Yeah. Let her have a go.
Right.

Ref?

Are you ready to go on?

I want you to go over to that goal
and protect it with your life.

Good girl.

Let's go, Otters.
Come on, Otters.

Yes, Poppy.
Come on, darling.

Show them what you're made of,
Poppy.

Go, gorgeous. You can do it.

Oh, my God. I can't watch this.

Don't look at the feet. Don't look
at the feet, look at the eyes.

You know what this means?
Penalty kick.

Oh, no.

What was that for?

Handball. She was outside the
penalty box when she picked it up.

Poppy, remember - don't worry about
hands and feet. It's just eyes.

Eyes. Just watch the eyes.

Eyes.
I can't watch this.

Come on, Pops. You can do it.
Come on, baby.

Come on, Poppy.

Ohh!

We win! We win!

Well done, kids. Great stuff.
Well played.

Come in, darling.
Come on, Poppy.

Very well played.
Everyone form a group.

OK. Let's have three cheers
for the other team.

- Hip, hip...
- Hooray!

- Hip, hip...
- Hooray!

- Hip, hip...
- Hooray!

And three cheers for the Otters.

- Hip, hip...
- Hooray!

Where's Stella?

Have you seen Stella?

What do you mean?

Have you seen Stella?
No.

Stella?

Stella!

Have you guys seen Stell?
No.

You weren't watching?
No.

Well, she was here a second ago.

Stella?

Stell?

Stella?
Stella, are you in here?

Stell.

Well, she must be here.
The spare key's in the back door.

No. No. No.

OK. Alright.

Hey.

You can't hide here.

This... This is my hiding spot.

Why do you need a hiding spot?

Uh...

Sometimes I, uh, I get scared.

Like when
you have to go to hospital.

Me too.

I'm scared of the food...

and other stuff.

Well, maybe um...

if we go together,
it will be less scary, yeah?

Yeah?
Mm-hm.

I love you.

I missed it. I was looking
at his eyes and his feet.

But I forgot to look at the ball.

Sweetheart, you did very, very well.

We are so proud of you.

It's not about the result.

- You did your very...
- Very best.

Can I have an ice-cream?

Sure.
You bet. Go get one.

Did we just get played?
Totally.

Yum.

Do you think
she's going to be alright?

She's got it all worked out?

Yeah. She gets that from me.

I've got to get to the hospital.

Hi.
Hey.

We're just about to go in.
Yeah, I know.

I brought something for you

from all your team mates.

Wow!

Thank you.

Thanks, mate.

What does it say, Uncle Tom?

It says "Under-6s Season Best
and Fairest - Stella Parker."

Wow!

Hey. Can we make a deal?

Can you not call me Uncle Tom
anymore?

What do I call you?

Dad.

What do I call Uncle Kane?

Well, you call him Dad too.

Dad Two?

No. I'm Dad One.

Alright. You can be Dad One.

It's time.

I love you.

Sorry. Sorry.

Go, the Otters!

Thanks.

You look pretty comfortable
with that new hug thing.

Well, it's not like
it's a new concept, the hug.

My old man never hugged
another bloke in his whole life.

Never hugged me.
Hmm.

You just put your arms around him

and you squeeze.

You should try it.

Go on.

Oh!
What are you doing?

I was just going to say
don't worry about the grass.

Don't worry about the lawn,
I'll mow it.

OK. Thanks.

OK. She's out of theatre.

She's on her way back down. You'll
be able to see her in a moment.

Is she going to be OK?

The surgeon's happy
with how the operation went.

She'll be awake soon.

That's great. She's going to be OK.

Hello, sweetie.
How are you feeling?

Sleepy.

You have been a very brave girl.

You can go back to sleep, honey.

We'll be right here, OK?

Will she...

When will we know
if she can walk again?

We'll try to get her up tomorrow.
Try?

She needs to sleep.

And you guys
should get some rest too. OK?

Stella.

What are you doing?

Colouring in.
What does it look like?

Where did you get
your colouring-in book?

Hey.

Stell. You can walk.

Course I can, silly.

Can we go home yet?

It's getting bor... ing.

Soon, chicken. Very soon.

Why Justin?

He makes me happy.

Dad?

I think you nailed it.

Have I?

You're pretty good.
I know.

Hey, Gem. What do you reckon
for the wedding?

I think you nailed it, babe.

You do realise we're getting
married this weekend?

Is that a trick question?

You will be required to walk.

Next Sunday,
a surprise they never saw coming...

Phoebe!
Hey, you!

Look how big you are.

G'day, Dad.

Are you having a baby?

Will throw everything into chaos.

Surprise.

Happy Hens!

So Dad's actually marrying you.

I think we should consider
postponing.

You were the best thing to
happen to your mum and me.

You're not backing out now.

Do you have any idea how
big this hole is?

You okay?

I haven't got a clue.

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