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So, what can I tell you about Eve Wilde
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that you don't already know?
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Well, for starters, she absolutely hates
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being called Grandma or Grandmother
or anything with "grand" in it.
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So she's just plain old Eve
to both you and me.
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Oh, you probably do know
she's been married before, right?
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But the only one you really need
to pay attention to is Laurence,
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husband number one
and my personal favorite
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because he is technically my grandpa,
but guess what.
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I can't call him that either. Actors.
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Eve and Laurence met in New York
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where Laurence was studying
to be a famous actor.
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And Eve wanted to be an actress,
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but, well, you know
how that old chestnut goes.
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Life's what happens
while you're busy making plans.
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Laurence got cast
as the lead in this big comedy.
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and he got Eve a part in it too,
which was super cool of him.
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But when the film came out, all of the
reviews said, "Hello. A star is born."
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But they weren't talking about Laurence.
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00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,539
By the time Eve was
one of the biggest stars in the world,
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she and Laurence were exchanging
humorous divorce gifts.
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A silver cowbell for Eve
to wear around her neck
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so Laurence would always know
she was coming.
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A birdcage for Laurence so that
the next Mrs. Darling couldn't get away.
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00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,806
I'd say Eve is on the whole
what you'd call a positive person.
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00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:26,098
She says that her whole life has been
one long fairy tale and everything.
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00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,222
But I might just disagree with Eve here.
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I might say in everything except love,
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which, frankly, if you knew the family
would be considered the family "hurdle."
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00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,034
But all that was about to change.
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Like the lightning
that precedes thunder,
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my eyes took in what my heart knew
an instant later,
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that this was love.
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Love at first sight.
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00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:12,064
So I'm making a film
for Eve of the weekend.
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It's my wedding gift.
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And from prior experience,
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I can say it'll have
a little bit of all the genres:
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00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,984
comedy, drama, musical
and, of course,
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documentary, which is my forte
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because I like to think
I ask the tough questions.
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00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:31,080
I bet it was the Swedish nanny
who jumped you when you were, like, 16.
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- Excuse me?
- Mom told me.
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She said that girl
was totally your type. Bad girl.
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Oh, my God.
Mackenzie, that is so inappropriate.
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Come on,
it was the Swedish nanny, right?
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Actually, my first love was...
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My first love...
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00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:51,183
OK, so he's doing
this whole drum-roll thing
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because deep down,
he wants to say it was my mom,
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but instead he's just trying to think
of something funny.
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That's my mom and dad
in this band they had.
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00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:04,571
Mom said there were a lot of guys
trying to get her attention,
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00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:07,286
but she only had eyes for him.
55
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:11,624
She said he wrote the most dreamy music.
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00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,961
Thing is, he still does,
just not for her.
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00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:21,710
My first love was a crème brûlée
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00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,633
that I had in the south of France
when I was 12.
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You're so emotionally retarded, Dad.
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Thank you.
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00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:30,013
Alright, hang on.
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- Hey, Jimmy.
- I'm patching Ethan in.
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- OK.
- But I got everything.
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00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,774
All of Harold's numbers,
bank accounts, loans, debts...
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00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:40,646
My Uncle Jimmy has fallen
in love, like, a gazillion times.
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He says he's a romantic.
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- Look.
- Jimmy?
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There he goes again.
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00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,615
Jimmy? Jimmy, you there?
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00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:52,957
- Sorry. What? Sorry. Where was I?
- Having your suspicions confirmed.
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00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:56,998
Right, confirming my suspicion
that people who write serious novels
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have a relatively small pot to piss in.
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- Which is why this fucking prenup is...
- Dad.
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00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,592
- Hey, honey.
- Hi, Dad.
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00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,632
Your bus is very late.
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00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:08,973
Yeah, I know. I was on it.
Dad, this is Pink.
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00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,018
- Pink?
- Hey, dude.
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00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,850
She's coming with us for the weekend.
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00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,894
Well, honey, it's kind of
a special weekend, don't you think?
80
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,608
I brought a friend to her last wedding.
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00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:20,647
But you were five.
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00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:23,188
I brought a friend to your last wedding.
Thanks, babe.
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00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,191
Please, I finally erased
that whole debacle from my memory.
84
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,693
- Where's the car?
- Right there.
85
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Come on.
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00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,580
Hello? Where the hell's Ethan?
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00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:41,293
My Uncle Ethan
says he's never getting married.
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00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:46,302
Oh, fuck! My God! Ah!
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He says why would he,
with all the interesting people
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00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,221
he meets on social media these days?
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00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,478
Good boy, Yoyo. Good boy.
92
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,811
Oh, hey, Guy. Yeah.
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00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,026
You heard the new tracks? OK.
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00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,691
I'm gonna have the number-one
album and the number-one tour
95
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,447
if you pull your finger out of your ass.
96
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,237
Do your job. I want arenas.
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00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,657
- Oh, honey, look. Look.
- No. Mom, please.
98
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,577
Yes, yes, yes. Hey, can you pull over?
Yes, yes, right here.
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The problem is
that when it comes to relationships,
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examples have to be set.
101
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But in my case, the adults setting them
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are quite possibly
the worst examples known to man.
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00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,844
Mom, Mom,
that slope near the boathouse.
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00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,806
Somebody's gonna go ass over backwards
into a lawsuit.
105
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,680
Well, it leads down to the lake.
I don't want to board it up.
106
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,398
Well, can we at least put up
a couple of signs?
107
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:46,567
Al, could you make up a couple of signs
that say "Beware of Steep Slope"?
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- A sign?
- Hello?
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A sign's gonna save us
a million dollars if someone falls.
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- We're in here.
- Mom.
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Hi.
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Sam.
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00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:57,661
Sam can't pass a vintage clothing store
without begging me to stop.
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00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,909
- Hello, darling.
- What's up, buddy?
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00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,913
- That's for you.
- Come sit down.
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00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,506
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
117
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:09,127
Sam, just do what I do.
Donate all the clothes Mom gives me.
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00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:12,096
I think your mother
has a charming fashion sense.
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- So do I.
- This is lovely.
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Yeah.
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- Sam. Tell me, how is your father?
- He's in Miami.
122
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:23,937
- Yeah. Sebastian and I broke up.
- Why?
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Well, you know, it was either that
or I was gonna strangle him.
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Sure, the go-to options.
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- So, Eve...
- Mm-hm.
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What can you tell us
about your first love?
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Oh.
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There was a beautiful boy, Cosmo.
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He was the reason I joined
the theater class where I met Laurence.
130
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,179
Of course,
Cosmo wasn't interested in girls.
131
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,683
Yeah, duh. Of course. His name is Cosmo.
132
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,933
Alright, so... so, what,
your first love was Laurence?
133
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:07,318
I remember the first time
Laurence and I rehearsed.
134
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:13,407
He looked at me
with that smoldering stare that he has.
135
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,618
I mean, you know. You know the one.
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I know it well.
137
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And it was goodbye, Cosmo,
hello, Laurence.
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Now, of course,
Laurence has had the career
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00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,219
every actor would dream of having,
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00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,971
unless, of course,
you're Laurence Darling.
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He's recognized as a great actor.
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I'm just a... a simple movie star.
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And he could find that very annoying.
144
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,295
- Morning.
- Morning.
145
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,822
- Boys, boys, boys.
- Dad.
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00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:39,114
It's so good to see you.
Why isn't it more often?
147
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,578
- You never return any of our calls.
- Dad, Dad, Dad.
148
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:44,323
It was a rhetorical question, James.
149
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We all have such busy lives now.
150
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,371
- Laurence.
- The Lady Eve.
151
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:53,591
- How are you?
- I am grand.
152
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I have come to see you off again.
153
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,431
Maybe we'll get it right this time.
154
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,848
That's why I'm here,
to make sure that this one is a keeper.
155
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,891
You are so thoughtful.
156
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:09,640
As if you'd have any idea
what a keeper was.
157
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:13,440
- Laurence.
- I'm sensing a theme here.
158
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,273
Are all the exes invited?
159
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:20,492
- Just the ones Mom likes.
- And they're still alive.
160
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,613
Well, I'm glad I still qualify.
161
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,990
Has the great man arrived?
162
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:30,211
Not yet. His sense of timing's
even better than yours.
163
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,708
Upstaged again?
164
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,464
- Bad Girls.
- Uh...
165
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:44,307
Right. Uh, Bad Girls, Bad Girls.
166
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:47,018
Dad, come on.
It was one of her biggest hits.
167
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,263
Oh, yeah, got it.
168
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:53,189
Uh, Eve steals into a prison...
an Indonesian prison
169
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,811
to save her daughter
who's wrongly accused of murder.
170
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,322
OK, and it ends...?
171
00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,190
Oh, f... Um...
172
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,194
Hang on just a minute. Uh...
173
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:08,620
Oh, yes, uh, it turns out
the daughter actually did it,
174
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,834
but Eve takes her place
on the scaffold anyway.
175
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,954
Actually, it's a rip-off
of Tale of Two Cities.
176
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,297
Dad, I think it's very romantic
177
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,257
that you're going to all this effort.
178
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,844
- Thank you, Clemmie.
- Romantic?
179
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,176
It's an absolute bloody miracle.
180
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,736
Dad?
181
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:45,823
Dad.
182
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,952
I'm sorry.
183
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,179
It's a big day here.
184
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:08,054
- Waiting for Harold.
- It's a very good day.
185
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,143
Harold, man. Oh.
186
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,517
Mum. Mummy.
187
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:13,981
Hey, hey, hey.
188
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,437
Here they come. Here they come.
189
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,185
He's going around the wrong way.
190
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:24,032
Alright, everyone, behave, behave.
191
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,360
Our new family.
192
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,453
Four.
193
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,324
Welcome! Welcome!
194
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,543
And there's number five.
195
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,123
Oh!
196
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,088
Right. This is my daughter, Clemmie.
197
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,507
Hello, Clemmie.
I've heard so much about you.
198
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,881
- My daughter, Rose.
- Rose, yes.
199
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:51,807
And this is Rose's friend
and almost third daughter.
200
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:52,974
- Hello.
- Saffron.
201
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,313
Saffron. Hi.
202
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,648
Come meet my family.
There's Jimmy, my oldest.
203
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:57,812
- Hey, Jimmy.
- James.
204
00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,943
- And then Rory.
- Hi, Rory.
205
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,479
- Ethan.
- Ethan.
206
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,606
Back there with the camera
is Mackenzie,
207
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:07,485
whose mother is Priscilla
who was married to Rory.
208
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,452
Here's Sam.
209
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:13,164
You are doing...? Hi.
210
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,376
- My daughter, Mackenzie.
- Hi.
211
00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:17,787
- Hi, Mackenzie.
- Hi.
212
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,089
My nephew, Dylan.
213
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:24,506
My brother's son,
who sadly couldn't be here. And...
214
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:25,673
- You are who?
- Dylan.
215
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:30,596
- Dylan, hi.
- And Laurence, the father of my sons.
216
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:34,721
And husband number one.
What a great pleasure. I am a big fan.
217
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:36,813
The pleasure is all mine.
I'm a bigger fan.
218
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,442
So you guys are in here.
219
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:41,686
Oh, thank you very much.
220
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,399
According to Wikipedia,
221
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:48,526
"Harold Alcott writes novels about love
that are tragically comedic."
222
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:52,572
Which means he's gonna fit right in
with this family.
223
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:54,949
- I missed you.
- Well, that's your fault.
224
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,871
It's because you have
so many books to pack.
225
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,369
Well, I'm a writer.
226
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,835
Just as long as you have that book
with the pictures that we like.
227
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,332
Oh.
228
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:07,428
The Pompeiian bathhouses.
Yeah, those saucy Romans.
229
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,263
I brought it in my hand luggage.
230
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,175
Get off.
231
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,140
Stop it.
232
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,473
Oh.
233
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:23,110
Did the cat get the cream?
234
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,274
- What cream?
- Silver fox.
235
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,398
Major hottie. For an old guy.
236
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,150
Oh, you know, hang on here, you guys.
237
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,949
You make me sound so... so superficial,
238
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,824
like it's all about
his, granted, good looks
239
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:39,577
and not about his big...
whoopee-doo-doo.
240
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,589
Do I really have to hear this?
241
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,709
Did I wanna hear about you and Priscilla
and the best sex of all time?
242
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:49,131
Hey, hey, hey. I never said that.
243
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,304
- Really?
- Really?
244
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:54,266
Do not repeat that to Mackenzie. Do not.
245
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:58,764
It wasn't the greatest sex of my life.
It was the greatest sex of his.
246
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,105
Seriously?
247
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,233
Hello?
248
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:13,695
Hello? Hi, yes. I'm trying to track down
an employee of yours.
249
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:18,074
She drove the Montauk bus yesterday
that arrived at 11:45.
250
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,700
Actually, I say it arrived at 11:45,
251
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:22,540
but in point of fact
it was very, very late.
252
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:26,006
Why do I wish to contact her?
Is that any business of yours?
253
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:30,507
I mean, I could be an estate attorney.
254
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,216
So what does marriage mean to you?
255
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,810
What's your experience with that?
256
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,098
Uh, well...
257
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:48,236
My... My parents fighting.
People getting divorced.
258
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:53,701
Whoa, OK. You're being a little bit
of a Debbie Downer here, alright?
259
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,706
What about first love?
260
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,414
What's...
What's your experience with that?
261
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:09,087
First love?
Let me give that some thought.
262
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,843
Dylan, Dylan, I'm still filming.
263
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,433
Dylan.
264
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,848
Girls, you know that crazy,
warm sensation you get
265
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,188
when you cross your legs
and squeeze really tight?
266
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,895
Well, the first time I had that,
267
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:28,440
the weirdo in me
was thinking about D ylan.
268
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:32,819
But what would, o f course,
get tongues wagging around these parts
269
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,110
is that Dylan and I
270
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:40,239
are technically first cousins,
271
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:43,742
but first cousins once removed,
so there's, like, a three percent chance
272
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,541
our kids would have, like,
15 fingers and three eyes.
273
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:54,966
OK, the first-love question
was a bit leading
274
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,259
as Dylan and I have already kissed,
275
00:16:57,391 --> 00:17:01,931
but it was last summer
and I haven't even seen him since.
276
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:07,099
Anyway, just...
it raises that age-old question.
277
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,527
You know, can you ever go back?
278
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,147
That's exactly what I was thinking,
279
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:16,616
though I think maybe a couple more here,
possibly another hydrangea.
280
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,494
I think that'd be very nice.
281
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:23,908
The last thing
I would call either of us is selfish.
282
00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:27,624
In fact, the term "generous to a fault"
springs to mind.
283
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:31,089
But in this instance,
I suggest we put it to the vote
284
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:34,801
to keep our one solitary decanter
of liquid nectar
285
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:38,343
a secret from the vin ordinaire drinkers
286
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:41,842
and rendezvous back here
après le diner.
287
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,604
I second that motion and say aye.
288
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,188
Aye.
289
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,933
Harold and I will meet you back here.
290
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,112
Yes, Harold.
291
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,157
He's a fine-wine man, is he?
292
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,711
So are you happy?
293
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,331
Go on, say it,
and I'll tell you what I think.
294
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,469
I think you're a liar.
295
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:04,683
Me? I'm fine.
296
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,642
- Hey.
- I'm fine.
297
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,433
Hey.
298
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,647
Moving right along.
299
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:16,145
In fact, you know what?
You know what I feel like doing?
300
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,943
I feel like making love right now.
301
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:27,244
I want a man to devour me
302
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:30,334
and kiss every inch of my naked body
303
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:33,204
until I am begging him
to fuck me hard.
304
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,422
How do you feel about that?
305
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:39,084
Well, guess what.
I'm looking at a guy right now.
306
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:43,260
And I can tell from his shit-eating grin
that he'll be happy to oblige.
307
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,761
Ciao.
308
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:48,180
Sorry. Grandma.
309
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,395
It will probably surprise you to learn
310
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,812
that Ethan speaks five languages,
Portuguese among them.
311
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:58,734
So he understood every word of Saf f ron's
phone call to her, quote, "grandma,"
312
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,026
and explains the grin
she was referring to.
313
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,024
How about we go on a little ride?
314
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:07,325
I got some delicious magic mushroom
chocolates. You up for it?
315
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,073
Mmm. Very naughty.
316
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:20,041
Half will get you really high. Easy.
317
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:30,761
Aah!
318
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,111
Whoo!
319
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:06,380
To you.
320
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:07,926
Cheers.
321
00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,560
Mmm.
322
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:24,948
So how's it going
with the young actress?
323
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:28,781
Young is a relative term. She's 36.
324
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:32,077
She went back to her boyfriend,
at my suggestion, of course.
325
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:35,042
They're getting married.
Must be catching.
326
00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:37,536
I'll probably be
at that wedding as well.
327
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,750
Ah, so that leaves
a position to be filled.
328
00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:45,756
Mmm.
329
00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:48,092
Already filled.
330
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:52,342
So, tell me, am I giving you away
for good this time?
331
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,513
Harold is an extraordinary man.
332
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:59,813
That he is, but will he understand
your way of thinking?
333
00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,435
I don't think that way anymore.
334
00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:06,906
Fame, success, the flattery.
335
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:09,283
I'll leave it all to you.
336
00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:11,494
Thank you. I'll take it.
337
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,289
Very generous of you.
338
00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:19,498
Eve didn't tell you I was coming, huh?
339
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,121
Oh, I wonder why.
340
00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:23,340
Maybe she thought
you'd have a problem with it.
341
00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:25,133
- Oh, hey.
- What's up, guys?
342
00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,423
- Hey.
- Wear less.
343
00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:29,137
OK, that happened. Um...
344
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:35,102
Look, a rock 'n' roll tour is not
a place for a 16-year-old girl. Come on.
345
00:22:35,229 --> 00:22:36,436
Well, why don't you come?
346
00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:40,558
Oh, sure. What, now that Sebastian
is no longer needed?
347
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,309
- Sure.
- Oh, honey.
348
00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:45,232
- What?
- I think I'd rather be dead.
349
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:48,152
- Shit. OK, good night.
- OK, good night.
350
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:37,406
Alright, now, who's shaggable?
351
00:23:37,541 --> 00:23:44,664
I don't know. I can't decide
between the beautiful 17-year-old boy...
352
00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:46,915
You cradle robber.
353
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:48,299
Saff.
354
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:50,714
...or the naughty 30-something-year-old
355
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:53,179
that you were tarting around with
last night.
356
00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:56,550
He's much more up your alley.
357
00:23:56,685 --> 00:24:00,053
- Right.
- He's all yours. How about you, Clem?
358
00:24:00,189 --> 00:24:04,149
Why would I tell you,
Tweedleslap and Tweedleslapper?
359
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:07,189
- Oh, my God!
- Come on, Clem!
360
00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:12,524
- Dad.
- Yeah?
361
00:24:12,660 --> 00:24:14,777
Eve's one and only Golden Globe
362
00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:18,747
was for, A, Loves of a Blonde,
363
00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:21,912
or, B, Blonde Love?
364
00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:24,919
Uh... Loves of a Blonde.
365
00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:27,130
Uh, wrong.
366
00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:30,546
It was actually for Blind Lover.
367
00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:33,716
That's a trick question.
That's not fair.
368
00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:39,100
An early wedding present.
369
00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:40,476
What is it?
370
00:24:40,604 --> 00:24:41,811
I got sent this the other day
371
00:24:41,939 --> 00:24:44,977
and they want the two of us to be in it
playing mother and son.
372
00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,475
That's imaginative casting.
373
00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:49,444
It's actually a really good script.
You should think about doing it.
374
00:24:49,613 --> 00:24:51,525
I'm in a wheelchair.
You end up in a wheelchair.
375
00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:54,191
Last scene is the two of us
dancing in wheelchairs.
376
00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:57,945
- A lot of crying scenes.
- Really? I'm retired. You do it.
377
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,493
- It's a both-or-nothing deal.
- Oh.
378
00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:03,409
- Will you at least read it?
- Oh, honey.
379
00:25:03,544 --> 00:25:06,833
Come on, on your honeymoon.
Gotta get out of bed sometime.
380
00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:10,503
- Bow-chicka-wawa.
- That is so bad. You are my son.
381
00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,626
- Where are you guys going?
- Venice.
382
00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:15,424
- That's original.
- Well, it was Harold's idea.
383
00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:17,718
I didn't wanna start off
as a difficult wife.
384
00:25:17,891 --> 00:25:19,974
Then don't be a difficult mother.
385
00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:30,314
OK, Eve and Harold's wedding song,
take one.
386
00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:49,271
I think it's very adult of you
to be this civilized.
387
00:26:49,399 --> 00:26:53,143
I mean, not everyone would have
their ex-husband at their wedding.
388
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:56,612
My mum would turn into the Exorcist
if Dad showed up at her wedding.
389
00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:58,106
Oh, God.
390
00:26:58,242 --> 00:27:01,201
Projectile green vomit.
Head 360. The whole thing.
391
00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:03,240
She still really hates him.
392
00:27:03,372 --> 00:27:05,614
Dare one ask why?
393
00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:09,288
Oh, well, um,
as Dorothy Parker once said,
394
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,623
"Hogamous, Higamous,
Man is polygamous
395
00:27:11,755 --> 00:27:14,498
Higamous, Hogamous,
Woman is monogamous."
396
00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:20,128
Um, I doubt Dorothy Parker
actually said that.
397
00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:22,722
Yes, it has a man's fingerprints
all over it.
398
00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:25,593
Yes, it sounds
suspiciously self-serving.
399
00:27:25,727 --> 00:27:27,844
You know,
if it helps explain anything, Rose,
400
00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:31,348
Mom and Dad here
were like the poster couple for divorce.
401
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,816
Yeah, they gave each other
divorce gifts.
402
00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:35,276
Really? What?
403
00:27:35,404 --> 00:27:37,737
- I've forgotten.
- Me too.
404
00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:41,825
Actually, one time, Mom took the three
of us out of the country for a vacation
405
00:27:41,952 --> 00:27:43,568
and she didn't get Dad's permission.
406
00:27:43,704 --> 00:27:47,698
Dad waited patiently until we got back
and then had Mom arrested at the airport
407
00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:49,290
and put in prison for the night.
408
00:27:49,418 --> 00:27:50,784
What a guy.
409
00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:52,080
Character building.
410
00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:55,167
And when Dad came back after having
been away working for three months,
411
00:27:55,299 --> 00:27:57,791
he found that Mom
had completely redecorated the suite
412
00:27:57,926 --> 00:27:59,383
and put it on the bill.
413
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:02,136
Yes, it was much more cheerful.
414
00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:22,281
Hello, there!
415
00:28:28,498 --> 00:28:30,160
- Hey! Hombre!
- Ah!
416
00:28:30,292 --> 00:28:31,624
My best man.
417
00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,210
- Cómo está?
- Oh, muy bien. Usted?
418
00:28:34,338 --> 00:28:35,954
Bien, bien, bien.
419
00:28:36,131 --> 00:28:37,463
Hey.
420
00:28:37,591 --> 00:28:39,082
Bienvenido.
421
00:28:39,259 --> 00:28:40,625
- Señor.
- Cómo estás?
422
00:28:41,303 --> 00:28:43,795
I just think we have to make
at least one attempt
423
00:28:43,931 --> 00:28:45,467
to get Mom to do a prenup.
424
00:28:46,767 --> 00:28:49,680
I don't know. She's done
quite well for herself so far.
425
00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:52,770
Yeah, but so far
all of her husbands have had money.
426
00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:54,726
Except for you.
427
00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:56,357
- Of course.
- Yeah.
428
00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:02,321
Come on!
429
00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:11,197
So what does true love
mean to you, Mother?
430
00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:13,950
True love? Um...
431
00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:19,965
Well, you know, if at first
you don't succeed, try, try again.
432
00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:22,880
Which is what I keep saying
about those songs, Mom.
433
00:29:23,053 --> 00:29:25,261
- What songs?
- Your new ones.
434
00:29:26,056 --> 00:29:29,345
What do you know, anyway?
You... You sing along with Les Mis.
435
00:29:32,062 --> 00:29:34,349
Mommy is a rock goddess.
436
00:29:34,523 --> 00:29:37,106
Mom... Mommy is a rock goddess.
437
00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:46,404
A couple of my novels
that were turned into films
438
00:29:46,535 --> 00:29:49,027
sent me to bed with a bottle of Scotch.
439
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:55,834
Well, that's where the films I'm usually
in these days always send me.
440
00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:58,453
And why I'm in graceful retirement.
441
00:29:58,588 --> 00:30:01,706
Yeah, but that is such a pity, Eve.
442
00:30:01,842 --> 00:30:05,006
- You played some great roles.
- Has she... She has.
443
00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:07,504
Harold has seen all my work.
444
00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:11,845
You've seen all of Eve's films?
445
00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:14,764
- Yeah.
- Seriously?
446
00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:18,139
Uh... well, you know, nearly all.
447
00:30:18,317 --> 00:30:22,778
And which performance
do you treasure the most?
448
00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:30,322
Well, I'd have to say, um... it was
the first time I saw you on screen.
449
00:30:30,454 --> 00:30:36,121
You were playing a waitress in a diner
who kept getting the orders wrong
450
00:30:36,251 --> 00:30:39,961
and you nearly killed this poor guy
who had a nut allergy.
451
00:30:40,088 --> 00:30:42,171
It was hilarious.
452
00:30:42,758 --> 00:30:46,468
Available Man.
Laurence got me that part.
453
00:30:46,595 --> 00:30:52,341
Yes, I also played the guy
with the nut allergy.
454
00:30:52,476 --> 00:30:55,014
Though that wasn't
Eve's first leading role.
455
00:30:55,145 --> 00:30:58,138
It was meant to be, anyways, supporting.
456
00:30:58,273 --> 00:30:59,684
Well, obviously, yes.
457
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:03,435
Um, in a leading role,
458
00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:09,532
I would have to say, um... uh...
Bad Girls was very moving.
459
00:31:11,119 --> 00:31:12,781
Mmm.
460
00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:15,697
Mmm.
461
00:31:15,832 --> 00:31:17,869
Mmm.
462
00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:20,580
Mmm.
463
00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:24,171
Look, it doesn't have to be perfect.
Can you get a prenup here by tomorrow?
464
00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:29,465
Dance party. Here we go.
Taking us down the road. Let's do it.
465
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,927
Step, and down.
466
00:31:38,063 --> 00:31:39,099
Step.
467
00:31:45,612 --> 00:31:47,399
Step, step. Clap, clap.
468
00:31:47,531 --> 00:31:49,363
Work it, girl. Work it.
469
00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:54,194
- Here we go. Here we go.
- Oh, come on. You can get this.
470
00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:57,072
- Take off! These are our tarts!
- Get outta here.
471
00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:00,954
OK, again.
472
00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:03,999
Go. Get down.
473
00:32:05,715 --> 00:32:08,628
Do you really think
he's seen all your films?
474
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:12,800
Of course not. But I think
it's sweet that he pretends he has.
475
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:16,220
- And you never miss it?
- Oh, God, no.
476
00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:21,645
We always did it for different reasons.
477
00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:24,186
- We did?
- Yeah.
478
00:32:24,317 --> 00:32:27,185
You did it, well, you still do it,
479
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,528
for the work,
for the challenge of the work,
480
00:32:29,656 --> 00:32:32,649
for the absences the work affords.
481
00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:35,151
I always thought of the family
as integral to my work
482
00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:37,825
and you thought of it
as detrimental to your work.
483
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:38,992
Did I?
484
00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:41,123
Speaking about
mixing family and work,
485
00:32:41,251 --> 00:32:44,085
Ethan has this movie
he wants me to act in with him.
486
00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:45,669
Good part?
487
00:32:47,090 --> 00:32:49,298
A mother in a wheelchair, apparently.
488
00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:51,634
Mmm.
489
00:32:51,761 --> 00:32:55,220
Do you think it could be changed
to a father in a wheelchair?
490
00:32:55,348 --> 00:32:57,055
Possible Oscar bait.
491
00:32:57,184 --> 00:32:59,597
"He walks away with it.
492
00:32:59,728 --> 00:33:02,562
I'm supporting."
493
00:33:02,689 --> 00:33:05,397
- "I'm supporting."
- "I'm supporting."
494
00:33:05,525 --> 00:33:10,520
"We start out supporting
and we end up supporting."
495
00:33:36,973 --> 00:33:37,929
Hi.
496
00:33:38,058 --> 00:33:42,268
Hello. Tomas,
ask her who the cute boy is.
497
00:33:43,230 --> 00:33:45,187
My sister wants to know
who Harry Potter is.
498
00:33:45,315 --> 00:33:46,772
Who?
499
00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:50,226
That's Dylan.
500
00:33:50,362 --> 00:33:52,945
He's your boyfriend?
501
00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:54,564
- He's my cousin.
- Ah.
502
00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:55,940
What did she say?
503
00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:59,069
His name's Dylan.
He's not her boyfriend. He's her cousin.
504
00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:00,866
Oh, good. I'll go over.
505
00:34:00,997 --> 00:34:02,829
My sister says, "Oh, good."
506
00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:04,415
Good?
507
00:34:06,586 --> 00:34:10,876
Um, he's actually my first cousin...
He's my first cousin once removed.
508
00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:15,043
- I don't understand her.
- I think she likes Harry Potter.
509
00:34:15,220 --> 00:34:17,257
But he's her cousin.
510
00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:20,473
That's disgusting.
They'll have children with 15 fingers.
511
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,434
No, he's her second cousin,
so they'll probably have normal fingers.
512
00:34:23,603 --> 00:34:26,437
But they're cousins. I'm going.
513
00:34:29,693 --> 00:34:32,276
- Hello.
- Hi.
514
00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:34,612
- How are you?
- I'm good.
515
00:34:35,031 --> 00:34:36,363
So how old are you?
516
00:34:36,491 --> 00:34:38,574
Oh, Girl At War.
517
00:34:42,038 --> 00:34:43,074
OK.
518
00:34:50,130 --> 00:34:51,746
Do you need some help?
519
00:34:51,881 --> 00:34:52,917
Sure.
520
00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:56,292
But first I have to confess something.
521
00:34:56,428 --> 00:34:57,839
OK.
522
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:02,765
I had my first serious snog to
Up All Night In The Diner With Julie.
523
00:35:02,892 --> 00:35:07,102
Snog. That's...
That's English for "make out," right?
524
00:35:07,230 --> 00:35:09,267
Yes, but with lots and lots of tongue.
525
00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:13,981
Alright, well, that was a...
that was a great choice to, uh, snog to.
526
00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:16,525
- It was amazing.
- I'm glad to hear it.
527
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:20,358
So, being a bit of a fan,
can I ask you three questions?
528
00:35:20,493 --> 00:35:22,610
Alright. Go for it.
529
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,197
Why did you stop writing?
530
00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:31,418
Who said I stopped?
531
00:35:33,256 --> 00:35:35,339
Right. OK.
532
00:35:36,551 --> 00:35:40,340
- Why did you leave your band?
- Oh, it was never really my band.
533
00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:41,462
It was our band.
534
00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:44,591
But, you know, you got a lead singer
with a huge personality.
535
00:35:44,726 --> 00:35:48,219
It was always gonna be her band
in the end. I mean, rightly so.
536
00:35:48,355 --> 00:35:50,438
And is that why you left?
537
00:35:51,691 --> 00:35:53,774
No, honestly, I, uh...
538
00:35:55,153 --> 00:35:57,440
You know, that whole
rock 'n' roll lifestyle thing,
539
00:35:57,572 --> 00:36:01,407
it just... wasn't that important.
540
00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:04,326
Not fame or money?
541
00:36:04,454 --> 00:36:08,698
No, it's not everything.
I mean, I figured that out pretty early.
542
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:14,754
OK, uh, I have two questions.
543
00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:18,340
- Oh. Really?
- Yes, I do.
544
00:36:18,468 --> 00:36:20,050
What is an Orange Prize?
545
00:36:20,553 --> 00:36:24,342
- Oh, my God, you googled me.
- No, please.
546
00:36:24,474 --> 00:36:27,057
No, Eve told me
one of Harold's daughters was a novelist
547
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,768
and it's obviously not Rose.
548
00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:32,388
She said that an Orange Prize
had been won.
549
00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:36,939
An Orange Prize is an award
they give to first-time female authors,
550
00:36:37,112 --> 00:36:40,150
and I didn't win, I was shortlisted.
551
00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:41,689
Congratulations.
552
00:36:41,825 --> 00:36:44,943
- Was it autobiographical?
- Why do you ask that?
553
00:36:45,078 --> 00:36:46,364
Oh, come on.
554
00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:51,454
It's about an older sister who's kind of
attractive in a bookish kind of way
555
00:36:51,584 --> 00:36:53,997
who lives with her hipster,
skirt-chasing dad
556
00:36:54,129 --> 00:36:58,123
and wild-child younger sister
and they all live on red wine and pizza?
557
00:36:58,258 --> 00:37:00,591
- You read it.
- Sure.
558
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,006
Gotta check up on my new stepfamily.
559
00:37:03,179 --> 00:37:06,422
Some of it was me, yeah,
but most of it wasn't.
560
00:37:06,558 --> 00:37:09,676
- I can't actually cook a chicken Kiev.
- Not a problem.
561
00:37:09,811 --> 00:37:12,349
- But I do like books.
- Obviously.
562
00:37:14,399 --> 00:37:16,482
Do you know,
I would prefer if you referred to me
563
00:37:16,609 --> 00:37:19,568
as kind of sexy in a librarian way
rather than bookish.
564
00:37:19,696 --> 00:37:21,062
- You would prefer that?
- Yes.
565
00:37:21,197 --> 00:37:23,689
Well, you need glasses
for sexy librarian.
566
00:37:37,005 --> 00:37:39,088
Soul patch.
567
00:37:40,258 --> 00:37:42,545
"Such duty
as the subject owes the prince,
568
00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:45,090
Even such a woman
oweth to her husband.
569
00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:46,632
And if she is froward,
570
00:37:46,765 --> 00:37:51,806
peevish, sullen, sour,
and not obedient to his honest will,
571
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:54,724
What is she
but a foul contending rebel
572
00:37:54,856 --> 00:37:58,691
And graceless traitor
to her loving lord?"
573
00:38:00,653 --> 00:38:03,270
I'm not just a fuckin' movie star.
574
00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:08,408
It's Priscilla< for Guy.
No, I don't wanna hold.
575
00:38:08,536 --> 00:38:10,152
I don't wanna hold. I don't wanna hold.
576
00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:12,450
Yeah. I wanna write a book.
577
00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:16,325
About me.
578
00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:23,586
You've never seen any of my films?
579
00:38:23,718 --> 00:38:25,084
I don't think so.
580
00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:27,382
Do you go to the theater?
581
00:38:27,514 --> 00:38:29,380
- What?
- Not if we can help it.
582
00:38:29,516 --> 00:38:33,180
Wait, hang on.
Were you in the last SpongeBob film?
583
00:38:33,311 --> 00:38:34,643
I was indeed.
584
00:38:34,771 --> 00:38:38,390
- Oh, my God. I love SpongeBob.
- Oh, yeah?
585
00:38:38,525 --> 00:38:41,609
You used to be quite good-looking.
You've put on some weight, though.
586
00:38:41,736 --> 00:38:46,026
- Come on, Saffie. Let's get a drinkie.
- Actually, I've lost weight.
587
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:49,491
- What'd I miss?
- My whole career, apparently.
588
00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:51,402
- That's it. I'm moving out.
- What?
589
00:38:51,538 --> 00:38:54,451
You're killing me with the second-hand
smoke and you don't even care.
590
00:38:54,582 --> 00:38:57,996
I do care. But you're not dead yet.
591
00:38:58,127 --> 00:39:01,120
Go over there and have the fresh air.
Go on.
592
00:39:02,131 --> 00:39:04,214
Fifty bucks says Dad
brings up his Tony at dinner.
593
00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:06,334
No way.
Fifty it's before the main course.
594
00:39:06,469 --> 00:39:09,462
A hundred it's before the salad
and he got it for Pirandello's Henry IV.
595
00:39:09,597 --> 00:39:11,429
- That's bold.
- Watch and learn.
596
00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:13,135
- I'll take dessert.
- Alright, man.
597
00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:17,561
So wait, wait, wait.
You guys met in a jailhouse for women?
598
00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:19,681
It's actually a really good way
to meet people.
599
00:39:19,858 --> 00:39:21,941
Here we go, here we go.
600
00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:31,026
I, for one, would like to commend Eve
on her optimism and her perseverance
601
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,573
and, of course, her courage...
602
00:39:33,705 --> 00:39:35,287
Ha-ha!
603
00:39:35,415 --> 00:39:38,783
...in taking this plunge yet again.
604
00:39:38,918 --> 00:39:41,376
- Brave girl.
- I must say, I was surprised.
605
00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:47,045
In fact, I would have wagered
my Tony Award for my performance
606
00:39:47,176 --> 00:39:50,669
- in Pirandello's Henry IV...
- Bastard.
607
00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:56,426
...against the idea that you would ever
tread down this path again, my darling.
608
00:39:56,561 --> 00:40:00,180
But having met Harold, I think I get it.
609
00:40:00,315 --> 00:40:02,477
To Eve and Harold.
610
00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:03,891
To Eve and Harold.
611
00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:06,272
- Harold.
- Here you go.
612
00:40:12,285 --> 00:40:15,323
So, lovebirds, hey.
613
00:40:15,455 --> 00:40:19,950
I... I know it's customary
to give the gifts after the wedding,
614
00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:22,747
but I really wanna give you my gift now.
615
00:40:22,879 --> 00:40:23,915
- Right now.
- Sure.
616
00:40:24,047 --> 00:40:26,755
- Love it.
- Cheers.
617
00:41:47,463 --> 00:41:48,795
That's your daughter.
618
00:42:28,504 --> 00:42:30,086
Hello. This is James Darling.
619
00:42:30,214 --> 00:42:31,876
I called yesterday trying to track down
620
00:42:32,008 --> 00:42:37,299
the young lady who drove the Montauk
bus that did not arrive at 11:45,
621
00:42:37,430 --> 00:42:40,047
and you asked me
why I wanted to contact her,
622
00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:45,936
and, well, the reason is when I saw her,
623
00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:49,228
in her not-very-flattering
jitney uniform, by the way,
624
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:56,447
when I saw her, the little voice
in my head said, "This is the one."
625
00:42:56,574 --> 00:42:58,531
Ah, fuck!
626
00:42:58,659 --> 00:43:01,242
- Easy, man. I'm not a horse.
- What happened?
627
00:43:01,370 --> 00:43:03,657
- Gentle.
- Jimmy?
628
00:43:03,790 --> 00:43:04,826
Jimmy?
629
00:43:04,957 --> 00:43:11,124
Oh. I... I fucking tripped over
the "Beware of Slope" sign.
630
00:43:15,093 --> 00:43:17,676
- Oh, my God, that is too funny.
- Alright, Mom.
631
00:43:17,845 --> 00:43:19,928
It's just a grade-one ankle sprain.
632
00:43:20,056 --> 00:43:23,549
There's no sign
of anterior talofibular disruption.
633
00:43:23,684 --> 00:43:26,518
Really, that's
your professional diagnosis?
634
00:43:26,646 --> 00:43:28,012
It is indeed, James.
635
00:43:28,147 --> 00:43:32,482
One of the great things
about acting on the stage
636
00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:35,318
is that one gets to inhabit a role,
637
00:43:35,446 --> 00:43:41,158
and you might be aware that I have
rather famously played a doctor.
638
00:43:41,786 --> 00:43:43,277
Doctor Dolittle?
639
00:43:43,412 --> 00:43:45,028
And your point is?
640
00:43:45,164 --> 00:43:48,532
You bandaged the leg
of an animatronic giraffe,
641
00:43:48,668 --> 00:43:51,081
singing "If I Could Talk
to the Animals"?
642
00:43:51,254 --> 00:43:56,466
And I was complimented
on my technique by numerous physicians.
643
00:43:56,592 --> 00:43:57,628
Bravo.
644
00:44:00,263 --> 00:44:03,802
Actually, I would like
to compliment you, Laurence,
645
00:44:03,933 --> 00:44:07,017
on your very gracious toast.
646
00:44:07,145 --> 00:44:09,137
I meant every word I said.
647
00:44:09,272 --> 00:44:14,188
You are amazingly courageous,
amazingly tenacious
648
00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:17,811
and amazingly naive.
649
00:44:18,781 --> 00:44:19,942
Said the old cynic.
650
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:22,691
Come on, Laurence,
what are you still holding out for?
651
00:44:22,827 --> 00:44:27,367
I'm not holding out.
I like my birdcage empty, thank you.
652
00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:32,209
Anyway, why would I want
a new wife and new family
653
00:44:32,336 --> 00:44:35,625
when I already have the best ex-wife
654
00:44:35,756 --> 00:44:39,340
and raised the most perfect family
any man could want?
655
00:44:39,468 --> 00:44:43,337
Oh, my God, Dad, you have lived
in a hotel suite for the last 30 years.
656
00:44:43,472 --> 00:44:44,929
With one fucking bedroom.
657
00:44:45,057 --> 00:44:47,515
When we wanted to see you,
we had to check in.
658
00:44:51,189 --> 00:44:54,307
I think marriage
is challenging, formidable
659
00:44:54,442 --> 00:44:58,311
and to be taken very seriously,
660
00:44:58,446 --> 00:45:01,780
like a great heroic adventure.
661
00:45:01,908 --> 00:45:05,242
Captain Scott heading o ff
into the Antarctic.
662
00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:07,452
Does that make me the South Pole?
663
00:45:09,248 --> 00:45:12,741
Where I would be very happy
to plant my flag.
664
00:45:29,143 --> 00:45:31,635
Yeah!
665
00:45:44,533 --> 00:45:46,616
Look at this one.
666
00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:02,666
See ya.
667
00:46:07,974 --> 00:46:10,341
You did remember the birdcage.
668
00:46:11,310 --> 00:46:17,056
How could I forget the best piece
of advice an ex-wife ever gave to a man?
669
00:46:17,191 --> 00:46:19,274
"You can't lock me up."
670
00:46:19,944 --> 00:46:22,061
Lock you up?
671
00:46:22,196 --> 00:46:24,939
- Yes.
- Oh, God.
672
00:46:25,950 --> 00:46:29,569
After all these years,
and you had no clue.
673
00:46:30,830 --> 00:46:34,665
- It's not about you.
- It's not? But I hate that.
674
00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:37,375
No, no, the birdcage
675
00:46:37,503 --> 00:46:41,087
was so you could keep
the next Mrs. Darling from flying away.
676
00:46:41,257 --> 00:46:43,340
Like the first one did.
677
00:46:43,467 --> 00:46:45,504
Oh.
678
00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:47,127
- It was?
- Yes.
679
00:46:47,263 --> 00:46:51,052
No, wait, I thought it was because,
you know, you can fly in,
680
00:46:51,183 --> 00:46:55,723
but then if you wanted to fly out, you
know, to meet up with other roosters...
681
00:46:55,896 --> 00:46:57,137
Oh!
682
00:47:03,529 --> 00:47:05,771
Hello, my lady. Where's Saffron?
683
00:47:05,906 --> 00:47:07,693
Gone inside.
684
00:47:12,705 --> 00:47:14,662
Homemade chocolates?
685
00:47:14,790 --> 00:47:17,453
They're super delicious
and a lot of fun.
686
00:47:19,045 --> 00:47:20,752
What sort of fun?
687
00:47:20,921 --> 00:47:23,504
Let's just say
they're in the 'shroom family.
688
00:47:34,060 --> 00:47:36,222
Wanna go for a moonlight ride?
Vroom, vroom!
689
00:47:36,354 --> 00:47:38,846
- Mm-hm.
- Hm?
690
00:47:38,981 --> 00:47:41,064
I'll go change.
691
00:47:49,825 --> 00:47:51,908
Do you know what's great about us?
692
00:47:53,662 --> 00:47:56,154
We've been through all the bad times.
693
00:47:57,666 --> 00:48:00,033
One of the benefits
of being apart so long
694
00:48:00,169 --> 00:48:05,130
is that somebody else
had to take the knockout punches.
695
00:48:07,385 --> 00:48:10,878
And on that note,
think I'll have another drink. Anyone?
696
00:48:11,347 --> 00:48:14,055
No, I won't.
I'm getting married in the morning.
697
00:48:14,225 --> 00:48:16,137
I should think about going to bed.
698
00:48:16,310 --> 00:48:18,472
The night is young.
699
00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:29,355
Eve and Laurence have
started in on the merits of marriage.
700
00:48:30,282 --> 00:48:33,070
It's funny how they didn't have
that conversation 30 years ago.
701
00:48:33,202 --> 00:48:34,534
Isn't it?
702
00:48:52,888 --> 00:48:56,222
- I think that's enough of that.
- Alright.
703
00:49:09,738 --> 00:49:10,774
Fuck.
704
00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:13,531
Fuck, fuck.
705
00:49:21,041 --> 00:49:22,077
Have you ever thought
706
00:49:22,209 --> 00:49:25,293
what might have happened
if you'd never gotten me that part?
707
00:49:25,421 --> 00:49:28,710
Yeah, I might have been mentioned
in one of the reviews.
708
00:49:29,884 --> 00:49:32,672
I meant what might
have happened with us.
709
00:49:35,181 --> 00:49:37,798
I don't know.
Would it have been different? Probably.
710
00:49:37,933 --> 00:49:42,143
Would it have been better?
I don't know. Better than this?
711
00:49:44,732 --> 00:49:48,100
What if Harold feels
there's no room for an ex-husband?
712
00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:51,520
There's always room.
713
00:49:51,655 --> 00:49:54,489
Ah, but maybe no more room for this.
714
00:49:58,204 --> 00:50:00,287
May I tempt you?
715
00:50:01,081 --> 00:50:04,245
I have a wedding dress to fit into.
716
00:50:10,341 --> 00:50:13,584
You're going to be
the most beautiful bride.
717
00:50:21,936 --> 00:50:23,393
Hmm.
718
00:50:26,398 --> 00:50:27,730
Psst. Hey.
719
00:50:28,943 --> 00:50:30,900
You wanna bake a cake?
720
00:50:31,654 --> 00:50:34,146
- OK.
- Fantastic. Let's go.
721
00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:35,522
Come on.
722
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:39,238
Whoo!
723
00:50:41,580 --> 00:50:47,201
- You feel anything?
- Yeah. I feel fucking amazing!
724
00:50:47,336 --> 00:50:51,080
Alright, I will chop the mint,
you pick the tune.
725
00:50:51,215 --> 00:50:53,582
Music is important.
726
00:50:53,759 --> 00:50:55,876
So what are we actually doing here,
Gordon Ramsay?
727
00:50:56,011 --> 00:50:59,595
Are you familiar
with the chiffonade cut?
728
00:50:59,723 --> 00:51:02,010
No. What is it?
729
00:51:03,936 --> 00:51:07,020
Nice. Austrian Swing.
730
00:51:07,147 --> 00:51:09,764
Is that a lucky guess
or an excellent choice?
731
00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:12,392
- No, it's not a lucky guess.
- Really?
732
00:51:12,570 --> 00:51:16,029
Yeah, I spent two nights
in a soggy tent in Glastonbury
733
00:51:16,156 --> 00:51:18,739
just so I could shake my bum
to these gentlemen.
734
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:21,526
It's having the same effect
on my ass too, right. Come here.
735
00:51:21,662 --> 00:51:24,370
OK, the chiffonade cut,
you need a knife with a long, thin blade
736
00:51:24,498 --> 00:51:27,036
and a handle
that you can hold like a sword.
737
00:51:27,543 --> 00:51:28,624
Right.
738
00:51:28,752 --> 00:51:32,211
You know, I read that list of things
that psychopaths are good at,
739
00:51:32,381 --> 00:51:35,545
and cooking
is right up there at the top.
740
00:51:35,676 --> 00:51:37,793
I'm almost afraid
to ask how good you are.
741
00:51:37,928 --> 00:51:40,261
Guy who taught me's
got two Michelin stars. Let's go.
742
00:51:40,389 --> 00:51:43,302
Oh, my God.
You're Hannibal bloody Lecter.
743
00:51:43,434 --> 00:51:44,925
Oh, hi.
744
00:51:45,686 --> 00:51:47,018
Um...
745
00:51:47,146 --> 00:51:49,684
I was just on my way up to bed.
746
00:51:50,649 --> 00:51:52,606
OK.
747
00:51:52,735 --> 00:51:55,102
Yeah. Um...
748
00:51:56,739 --> 00:52:00,073
If you see Sam, will you send him up?
749
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:01,736
OK.
750
00:52:13,964 --> 00:52:15,705
- Good night.
- Good night.
751
00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:17,707
- Good night.
- Night.
752
00:52:23,807 --> 00:52:26,971
You know, I'm feeling
a little bushed myself.
753
00:52:27,102 --> 00:52:29,389
I think it's the jet lag.
754
00:52:29,521 --> 00:52:32,138
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
755
00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:34,357
- Really?
- Yeah.
756
00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:36,726
Sleep well.
757
00:52:39,865 --> 00:52:42,778
This is the best wine I've ever had.
758
00:52:44,953 --> 00:52:50,449
Normally it's an OK little winery,
but 2009 knocked it out of the park.
759
00:52:53,796 --> 00:52:56,880
And it goes deliciously
with these chocolates.
760
00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:59,215
Oh, thank you.
761
00:53:03,555 --> 00:53:05,012
Mmm.
762
00:53:08,268 --> 00:53:10,100
You're making me dizzy.
763
00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:15,648
Shh! Shh!
764
00:53:15,776 --> 00:53:17,768
- Be quiet.
- Shh!
765
00:53:17,903 --> 00:53:20,486
- My dad...
- You be quiet. "My dad."
766
00:53:20,614 --> 00:53:21,900
Harold!
767
00:53:55,482 --> 00:53:57,644
I wasn't a very good husband.
768
00:53:59,695 --> 00:54:02,654
Or father either, for that matter.
769
00:54:04,116 --> 00:54:06,199
Just couldn't say no
770
00:54:07,619 --> 00:54:09,986
to the work,
771
00:54:10,122 --> 00:54:12,580
to the women,
772
00:54:12,708 --> 00:54:14,791
to life's pleasures.
773
00:54:18,297 --> 00:54:23,088
And marriage puts a stop
to all that, doesn't it?
774
00:54:24,219 --> 00:54:25,881
It does tend to, yes.
775
00:54:28,724 --> 00:54:31,467
"The cradle rocks above an abyss,
776
00:54:31,602 --> 00:54:34,185
and common sense tells us
777
00:54:34,313 --> 00:54:38,102
that our existence
is but a brief crack of light
778
00:54:38,233 --> 00:54:41,101
between two eternities of darkness."
779
00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:43,361
Vladimir Nabokov.
780
00:54:48,619 --> 00:54:52,283
Our time in the light is nearly done.
781
00:54:54,625 --> 00:55:00,838
I sometimes wonder if we should
really be saying no to anything
782
00:55:00,964 --> 00:55:04,799
before we face the long night.
783
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:12,424
So I'm making a collection
of face masks.
784
00:55:13,977 --> 00:55:15,593
What do you think?
785
00:55:15,729 --> 00:55:18,688
You've done this professionally, right?
786
00:55:18,816 --> 00:55:20,728
Well, I don't know.
787
00:55:20,901 --> 00:55:22,688
Like, I've never actually
been paid for it,
788
00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:27,030
so I don't think you could say
that I'm a professional.
789
00:55:27,533 --> 00:55:32,995
But, um, I've done it, like, 50 times
and I've only lost two people.
790
00:55:34,581 --> 00:55:35,617
- Lost?
- Yeah.
791
00:55:35,749 --> 00:55:37,832
Wait a minute.
792
00:55:38,418 --> 00:55:42,253
The breathing part is a bit tricky.
793
00:55:44,383 --> 00:55:45,419
OK.
794
00:55:46,635 --> 00:55:48,752
Stop. Stop.
795
00:55:48,887 --> 00:55:49,923
You're ticklish.
796
00:56:04,236 --> 00:56:06,319
Sorry, kid.
797
00:56:07,948 --> 00:56:10,031
What are you made of, rocks?
798
00:56:12,744 --> 00:56:15,282
Alright, I can do this.
799
00:56:20,961 --> 00:56:24,170
OK. OK. OK.
800
00:56:38,979 --> 00:56:41,062
Did you lose something?
801
00:56:44,192 --> 00:56:45,558
Yeah, yeah, actually.
802
00:56:45,694 --> 00:56:47,811
Um... Uh...
803
00:56:47,946 --> 00:56:51,064
The engagement ring
that you never gave back.
804
00:56:51,199 --> 00:56:52,406
Oh.
805
00:56:52,534 --> 00:56:54,571
- Well, it's not down there.
- Really?
806
00:56:54,703 --> 00:56:57,696
No. Wanna check the other side?
807
00:57:04,212 --> 00:57:05,453
OK, OK, wait, wait, wait.
808
00:57:05,589 --> 00:57:08,127
Mackenzie can
never, ever, ever know about this.
809
00:57:08,258 --> 00:57:12,002
- Oh, God. Or Sam.
- Of course, of course.
810
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:15,926
And Eve.
811
00:57:16,058 --> 00:57:19,768
- Don't tell your mother, right?
- Oh, God, no. God, no. No, not...
812
00:57:21,396 --> 00:57:23,729
And you know, Laurence,
you know I love your father, I do.
813
00:57:23,857 --> 00:57:26,190
No. God, he's the most fucking
indiscreet person I know.
814
00:57:26,318 --> 00:57:27,980
- OK.
- Ooh!
815
00:57:28,111 --> 00:57:30,444
Oh, God. Oh, God.
OK, I'm here. Here we go.
816
00:57:30,572 --> 00:57:31,858
Just carry on.
817
00:57:56,515 --> 00:57:58,051
What?
818
00:57:58,183 --> 00:58:00,175
I don't know who's worse;
819
00:58:00,310 --> 00:58:02,677
you for putting this on,
820
00:58:04,022 --> 00:58:06,981
or you for watching this.
821
00:58:40,851 --> 00:58:43,389
It's hardly a comedy.
822
00:58:50,902 --> 00:58:54,270
- My love.
- Yes?
823
00:58:54,406 --> 00:58:57,444
- My love.
- Harold, are you drunk?
824
00:58:57,576 --> 00:59:01,160
I just had the most smashing
bottle of wine
825
00:59:01,288 --> 00:59:04,031
with your smashing ex-husband,
826
00:59:04,207 --> 00:59:07,075
who I think is smashing, by the way.
827
00:59:07,210 --> 00:59:09,623
Ah. Well, I'm glad that's going so well.
828
00:59:09,755 --> 00:59:13,999
It is, but what's not going well,
my dearest, is us.
829
00:59:14,134 --> 00:59:20,256
- Oh, yes?
- Yeah. I'm... I'm pining for you.
830
00:59:20,974 --> 00:59:26,811
How can you leave me
to languish on this moonlit night
831
00:59:26,938 --> 00:59:30,852
alone in my bed and you alone in yours?
832
00:59:30,984 --> 00:59:34,102
Alright, Mr. Shakespeare, off you go.
833
00:59:34,237 --> 00:59:36,775
It's bad luck to sleep together
the night before.
834
00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:40,901
- But I...
- I'll bend the rules so far.
835
00:59:45,665 --> 00:59:47,748
That's... That's your lot.
836
00:59:59,513 --> 01:00:02,927
I feel a lot of love about the things...
837
01:00:09,773 --> 01:00:11,765
Love is in the air.
838
01:00:19,449 --> 01:00:21,031
The last one's up.
839
01:00:26,373 --> 01:00:28,205
Laurence, my sofa!
840
01:00:35,757 --> 01:00:38,795
It's just a teensy, weensy
bit of spillage.
841
01:00:41,429 --> 01:00:43,512
I'm gonna get another bottle.
842
01:00:58,905 --> 01:01:04,617
On the scale of bad ideas,
where do you think this... this one is?
843
01:01:04,744 --> 01:01:09,284
Uh, I would say
it's, uh, somewhere between
844
01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:14,122
when I kissed George Michael
thinking it was you...
845
01:01:15,589 --> 01:01:19,458
...and you remember that time
I surprised you on tour?
846
01:01:19,593 --> 01:01:22,176
- Oh, yeah, that was bad.
- That was terrible.
847
01:01:24,181 --> 01:01:25,843
- Listen, I...
- Yeah, I...
848
01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:27,761
- Mom!
- Fuck.
849
01:01:27,893 --> 01:01:29,976
Hey, will you turn the light out?
850
01:01:30,103 --> 01:01:31,139
Why?
851
01:01:32,147 --> 01:01:35,982
- Mom!
- OK, I'm... I'm gonna borrow this. OK?
852
01:01:36,109 --> 01:01:37,520
Huh?
853
01:01:40,989 --> 01:01:43,777
- What are you doing?
- Just borrowing a book.
854
01:01:43,950 --> 01:01:45,816
- Why are you up?
- I had a nightmare.
855
01:01:45,994 --> 01:01:48,236
You were singing one of your new songs.
856
01:01:48,788 --> 01:01:50,871
Yeah, it's pretty sick
having your own blog.
857
01:01:50,999 --> 01:01:52,956
Like, you can just post
whatever you want.
858
01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:56,828
My mom or whoever can't come on
and be, like, "You can't post that."
859
01:02:01,259 --> 01:02:04,718
Oh, my God.
I do not fuckin' believe that.
860
01:02:04,846 --> 01:02:06,587
- That is my phone.
- Who's "the boss"?
861
01:02:06,723 --> 01:02:10,433
- That's my phone. Give that to me.
- It's the size of a fucking log.
862
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:13,644
Saffie, that spanking
could do some serious damage.
863
01:02:13,772 --> 01:02:15,729
Get the fuck off of me!
864
01:02:15,857 --> 01:02:18,770
And don't you dare call me Saffie,
you nosy bitch.
865
01:02:21,321 --> 01:02:22,152
What?
866
01:02:46,471 --> 01:02:50,181
- You see it? That star over there?
- What is that? Is that the Bear?
867
01:02:50,308 --> 01:02:52,470
I don't know. Is it? I'm asking you.
868
01:03:09,536 --> 01:03:12,745
Now who's the boss, Saffie? Slut!
869
01:03:41,901 --> 01:03:42,937
God!
870
01:03:47,365 --> 01:03:48,401
Yes!
871
01:03:48,867 --> 01:03:51,359
Fuck. Fuck. Yes!
872
01:04:33,453 --> 01:04:34,864
Fuck.
873
01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:40,661
Fuck.
874
01:04:57,477 --> 01:05:00,185
Fuck. Fuck!
875
01:05:00,313 --> 01:05:02,430
Fuck!
876
01:05:36,683 --> 01:05:38,299
Oh, my God.
877
01:05:43,523 --> 01:05:47,233
The sofa looks like
Gorbachev's forehead.
878
01:06:05,211 --> 01:06:06,622
Oh, God.
879
01:06:46,753 --> 01:06:48,619
I'm not gonna marry Harold.
880
01:06:49,422 --> 01:06:50,333
What? Why?
881
01:06:50,465 --> 01:06:54,129
I've been up all night,
pacing around.
882
01:06:54,260 --> 01:06:57,298
What was I thinking,
getting married again?
883
01:06:57,430 --> 01:07:00,468
I have my family,
the people that mean the most to me.
884
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:02,637
And you know what I realized?
885
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:06,433
There is only so much room
in the old attic.
886
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:10,729
OK, sorry. You... You lost me.
887
01:07:10,860 --> 01:07:15,104
New people. All that baggage
has to go somewhere.
888
01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:17,072
To make room,
I'd have to start rearranging
889
01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:19,283
everything that's already up here.
890
01:07:21,454 --> 01:07:24,447
New or different
doesn't necessarily mean better.
891
01:07:28,461 --> 01:07:30,544
What am I gonna do?
892
01:07:33,341 --> 01:07:38,257
Well, we've been here before,
having similar conversations,
893
01:07:38,388 --> 01:07:42,132
normally after the marriage
has taken place.
894
01:07:42,267 --> 01:07:47,012
So, in a way, I suppose we could say
we're making progress.
895
01:07:48,481 --> 01:07:50,473
Come in.
896
01:08:04,372 --> 01:08:08,707
It's disgusting. It's disgusting!
It's despicable!
897
01:08:08,876 --> 01:08:11,118
- It's embarrassing!
- What? What?
898
01:08:11,254 --> 01:08:14,543
How many other of my friends
have you shagged?
899
01:08:15,174 --> 01:08:17,336
Tell me, Dad. How many are there?
Just tell me.
900
01:08:17,468 --> 01:08:21,963
- What do you take me for?
- What do you mean? A fucking pervert.
901
01:08:23,766 --> 01:08:28,636
- Where is that stupid fucking bitch?
- Rose. Rose. Darling!
902
01:08:28,813 --> 01:08:29,974
Where are you?
903
01:08:30,106 --> 01:08:33,315
You fucking slut!
I'm gonna knock your head off!
904
01:08:33,443 --> 01:08:36,311
Fucking my dad?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
905
01:08:39,616 --> 01:08:42,108
Wow. This got more hits
than the piano-playing kitty.
906
01:08:42,285 --> 01:08:45,198
What do we have here?
907
01:08:45,330 --> 01:08:47,572
Looks like Harold,
908
01:08:47,707 --> 01:08:50,450
no, "the boss," and Saf f ie.
909
01:08:50,627 --> 01:08:52,459
If I ever see her again,
I'm gonna kill her.
910
01:08:52,587 --> 01:08:53,623
Oh, my God.
911
01:08:53,796 --> 01:08:56,539
Although it is lucky that she happened
to be outside with her phone.
912
01:08:56,674 --> 01:09:00,213
Pink's a blogger, Dad.
Course she had her phone.
913
01:09:00,345 --> 01:09:04,089
Oh, my God. I can't believe
I'm getting this on camera right now.
914
01:09:04,265 --> 01:09:08,259
Oh, yeah."The boss" is Harold.
915
01:09:13,232 --> 01:09:14,814
Nice. That's awesome, Sam.
916
01:09:14,942 --> 01:09:17,355
Good job, Sammy.
917
01:09:21,783 --> 01:09:24,150
You knew, didn't you?
918
01:09:24,285 --> 01:09:26,151
I wanted to come to see you,
919
01:09:26,287 --> 01:09:30,998
but I was wondering if maybe by now,
920
01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:35,836
you had developed
a spirit of wry realism
921
01:09:35,963 --> 01:09:38,421
with regards to "happily ever after."
922
01:09:39,092 --> 01:09:40,458
Wry realism?
923
01:09:40,593 --> 01:09:46,260
Yes, well, maybe you were finally ready
to live with bumpily ever after.
924
01:09:46,974 --> 01:09:49,341
Bumpily ever after?
925
01:09:49,477 --> 01:09:53,312
- You think I'm making a mistake?
- With Harold? No.
926
01:09:53,439 --> 01:09:55,772
Harold's fine.
I personally have nothing against him.
927
01:09:55,900 --> 01:09:58,643
But you deserve way, way better.
928
01:09:59,153 --> 01:10:02,487
You deserve to be loved
929
01:10:02,657 --> 01:10:05,070
because you've always been there
to give love.
930
01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:06,692
You deserve to be honored
931
01:10:06,869 --> 01:10:13,082
because you carried this family
single-handedly on your shoulders.
932
01:10:13,209 --> 01:10:16,498
And now it's your turn to take a ride.
933
01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:22,250
My love, you spent the entire night
pacing back and forth in your jammies
934
01:10:22,385 --> 01:10:24,172
and you still look so damn cute,
935
01:10:24,303 --> 01:10:26,920
and that deserves to be cherished.
936
01:10:28,015 --> 01:10:33,306
And maybe it was no... accident
937
01:10:33,438 --> 01:10:36,476
that Harold messed up last night.
938
01:11:05,428 --> 01:11:06,839
Oh, Dad.
939
01:11:09,223 --> 01:11:11,306
You've embarrassed us.
940
01:11:12,393 --> 01:11:18,515
What you did,
it was just creepy in so many ways.
941
01:11:20,318 --> 01:11:22,901
- You watched her grow up.
- I know.
942
01:11:23,070 --> 01:11:25,062
She was Rose's best friend,
for God's sake.
943
01:11:25,198 --> 01:11:28,566
I know. I never meant... It was...
944
01:11:29,911 --> 01:11:32,028
I want... I just...
945
01:11:32,163 --> 01:11:34,280
I packed up all my books.
946
01:11:34,457 --> 01:11:36,619
I really wanted this to work.
947
01:11:37,668 --> 01:11:41,457
Such a... idiot.
948
01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:45,465
Yeah, you are.
949
01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:48,336
I thought it was romantic.
950
01:11:49,263 --> 01:11:54,349
I thought you'd finally found someone
to spend the rest of your life with.
951
01:11:54,477 --> 01:11:56,264
That you weren't gonna be alone.
952
01:11:56,437 --> 01:12:00,056
I wasn't gonna have to worry about you
living on cold pizza anymore.
953
01:12:00,191 --> 01:12:02,604
Oh, darling,
that was not our relationship.
954
01:12:06,364 --> 01:12:08,447
I thought you'd changed.
955
01:12:10,201 --> 01:12:12,284
I'm so, so sorry.
956
01:12:14,497 --> 01:12:16,580
- Come on...
- What am I gonna do?
957
01:12:26,926 --> 01:12:32,342
Well, first of all, I'm not the one
you should be apologizing to.
958
01:12:35,017 --> 01:12:37,680
And then we'll all go back to London
959
01:12:37,812 --> 01:12:41,431
and to the shame of you
having been caught having sex
960
01:12:41,566 --> 01:12:44,274
with a woman
nearly 40 years your junior.
961
01:12:46,237 --> 01:12:48,650
And then you'll have to move to Italy
962
01:12:48,781 --> 01:12:51,899
where they don't have a problem
with that sort of thing.
963
01:14:13,991 --> 01:14:15,357
I gather you've heard.
964
01:14:16,744 --> 01:14:20,488
- I've gone and ballsed this up.
- My cue to exit.
965
01:14:20,623 --> 01:14:22,159
No.
966
01:14:22,875 --> 01:14:24,411
You may as well stay.
967
01:14:27,672 --> 01:14:31,586
Eve, I really wanted to be that man.
968
01:14:31,717 --> 01:14:34,460
The best man, you know, for you.
969
01:14:35,846 --> 01:14:40,887
You were so utterly fucking fabulous
970
01:14:41,018 --> 01:14:44,227
and gorgeous and smart and charming,
971
01:14:44,397 --> 01:14:46,764
and I thought I could change.
972
01:14:47,900 --> 01:14:50,017
But it's just not me.
973
01:14:51,821 --> 01:14:55,280
I'm so sorry that I have caused you
this humiliation.
974
01:14:55,408 --> 01:14:59,869
I just wish I could have it all
directed at me.
975
01:15:04,417 --> 01:15:05,874
Harold.
976
01:15:08,087 --> 01:15:11,922
You might want to think
about growing up.
977
01:15:12,341 --> 01:15:17,962
Chasing 25-year-olds at your age,
it looks very sad.
978
01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:20,381
I look like a swine.
979
01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:23,683
Way more sad than that.
980
01:15:25,104 --> 01:15:27,312
I am so fucked.
981
01:15:28,315 --> 01:15:32,059
Harold, before you start
flagellating yourself like a monk,
982
01:15:32,194 --> 01:15:33,810
may I say something?
983
01:15:33,946 --> 01:15:38,611
Eve is a fabulous woman,
she's a major catch,
984
01:15:38,743 --> 01:15:43,909
and I'd say that sadly, from experience,
you're the one who lost out here.
985
01:15:44,582 --> 01:15:47,120
And if it makes you feel any better,
986
01:15:47,251 --> 01:15:52,246
the reason I'm here in her bedroom
is because she wanted to tell me
987
01:15:52,381 --> 01:15:55,374
that she wasn't going through
with the marriage,
988
01:15:55,509 --> 01:16:00,846
and this was before
you broke the internet
989
01:16:00,973 --> 01:16:04,967
with your Legends of the AARP vine.
990
01:16:28,793 --> 01:16:29,829
Hey.
991
01:16:31,003 --> 01:16:32,494
I'm so sorry.
992
01:16:32,630 --> 01:16:33,916
You know what?
993
01:16:34,048 --> 01:16:38,588
When it comes to apologizing
for parents who behave badly,
994
01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:40,711
we are a family of world champs.
995
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:46,433
- Thank you.
- Sure.
996
01:16:48,354 --> 01:16:52,223
I did not expect this weekend
to pan out like this.
997
01:16:52,358 --> 01:16:54,065
No.
998
01:16:54,193 --> 01:16:56,276
How is everybody?
999
01:16:57,196 --> 01:16:59,904
Rose and Saffron aren't speaking.
1000
01:17:00,074 --> 01:17:02,282
I don't think they ever will again.
1001
01:17:02,409 --> 01:17:03,650
That bad, huh?
1002
01:17:03,786 --> 01:17:06,119
Well, not until they both coincidentally
1003
01:17:06,288 --> 01:17:09,452
have teenage children
in rehab in Minnesota.
1004
01:17:11,669 --> 01:17:13,752
How about you?
1005
01:17:14,797 --> 01:17:20,043
I think I'm done trying to worry
everyone into making the right decision.
1006
01:17:20,177 --> 01:17:24,342
They always make the same stupid
decision they were going to anyway.
1007
01:17:24,473 --> 01:17:27,762
I think it's my turn
to make a stupid decision, actually.
1008
01:17:37,778 --> 01:17:41,317
- I'm sorry. That was really stupid.
- No, no, no, no.
1009
01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:45,943
I can be way more stupid than that.
1010
01:18:00,801 --> 01:18:03,339
So how did you see this weekend
panning out?
1011
01:18:04,513 --> 01:18:09,133
Well, kind of like this.
1012
01:18:09,852 --> 01:18:11,935
And what gave you that impression?
1013
01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:15,772
How we chop mint.
1014
01:18:17,443 --> 01:18:19,526
We've got the same taste in music.
1015
01:18:20,779 --> 01:18:22,566
That is important.
1016
01:18:22,698 --> 01:18:24,781
Yes, it is.
1017
01:18:24,909 --> 01:18:31,577
And you got a whole lot of new material
for your next novel.
1018
01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:33,790
Yeah, masses.
1019
01:18:35,336 --> 01:18:37,419
You know what I think?
1020
01:18:38,422 --> 01:18:42,211
I think you should stay in New York
1021
01:18:42,343 --> 01:18:45,802
and do a little research
on some of the American characters.
1022
01:18:48,724 --> 01:18:50,556
Well, I can think of one.
1023
01:18:50,684 --> 01:18:51,845
OK.
1024
01:18:51,977 --> 01:18:56,187
But I'm a little worried
that he wants to eat me
1025
01:18:56,315 --> 01:18:59,353
with some fava beans and nice chianti.
1026
01:19:01,487 --> 01:19:03,979
Look, I think
I ought to tell you something.
1027
01:19:11,330 --> 01:19:14,323
You don't have to say goodbye.
Just jump in the car.
1028
01:19:14,458 --> 01:19:15,699
It's great to see you.
1029
01:19:15,834 --> 01:19:17,917
- Thank you so much.
- Bye.
1030
01:19:18,045 --> 01:19:20,537
Bye. Bye.
1031
01:19:36,105 --> 01:19:40,770
I have a lot of answering to do,
to all of you, and I will.
1032
01:19:41,902 --> 01:19:44,770
But for now I want you to know
1033
01:19:44,905 --> 01:19:47,773
that I'm so sorry
for having let you all down.
1034
01:19:47,908 --> 01:19:50,491
But I promise you,
1035
01:19:50,619 --> 01:19:54,078
we will get over this
and we will move forward, together.
1036
01:19:54,206 --> 01:19:56,368
Yeah, right, Dad.
1037
01:19:56,500 --> 01:19:59,243
- I'm stopping off in New York.
- What?
1038
01:19:59,378 --> 01:20:02,371
Probably gonna stay for a few months.
1039
01:20:02,506 --> 01:20:05,169
- You two are on your own.
- No, Clemmie.
1040
01:20:05,301 --> 01:20:07,884
You'll be fine. You'll be fine.
1041
01:20:12,599 --> 01:20:17,219
Mom, if you sleep with your friend,
does it ruin the friendship?
1042
01:20:17,354 --> 01:20:21,268
- Oh. Well, it never did for me.
- Really?
1043
01:20:21,400 --> 01:20:23,608
Yeah, but I can count my real friends
on one hand.
1044
01:20:23,736 --> 01:20:26,228
I mean, actually,
I don't even need one hand.
1045
01:20:27,323 --> 01:20:34,617
You know, the important part is not
working on staying friends afterwards.
1046
01:20:34,747 --> 01:20:36,830
That's what ruins it.
1047
01:20:38,083 --> 01:20:42,043
But you don't have to worry about that.
You're gonna have kids with 15 fingers.
1048
01:20:42,171 --> 01:20:45,130
- Way bigger things to worry about.
- Oh, my God.
1049
01:20:45,257 --> 01:20:46,964
- Giant gloves.
- That's not...
1050
01:20:47,092 --> 01:20:49,880
- Maybe mittens. That's better, right?
- That's not even funny.
1051
01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:53,342
Alright.
1052
01:20:53,474 --> 01:20:55,511
- I'm a good mommy.
- Yeah.
1053
01:20:55,642 --> 01:20:57,508
- I gotta go.
- Why?
1054
01:20:58,520 --> 01:21:00,603
I gotta go call Sam's dad.
1055
01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:03,022
OK.
1056
01:21:10,282 --> 01:21:12,820
Oh, God.
I'm gonna have to say something.
1057
01:21:30,135 --> 01:21:31,626
I'll do it.
1058
01:21:58,288 --> 01:22:01,656
Hello, everyone.
I have an announcement to make.
1059
01:22:02,709 --> 01:22:09,457
After much deliberation and mature
reflection by the parties in question,
1060
01:22:09,591 --> 01:22:12,299
it has been mutually decided
1061
01:22:12,428 --> 01:22:17,890
that the advertised wedding
will not be going forward.
1062
01:22:18,016 --> 01:22:24,559
Now, I know that's a disappointment
to everyone, but look at it this way.
1063
01:22:24,690 --> 01:22:30,061
At least we won't
have to have pasta after the ballet.
1064
01:22:32,698 --> 01:22:34,781
Too soon. Very well.
1065
01:22:35,784 --> 01:22:37,491
Uh, boys.
1066
01:22:40,038 --> 01:22:44,078
Boys, if you would,
a clever and imaginative toast, please?
1067
01:22:44,209 --> 01:22:45,950
To calling it off?
1068
01:22:46,086 --> 01:22:51,252
Well done.
To Eve and Harold for calling it off.
1069
01:22:51,383 --> 01:22:53,875
- Cheers.
- To Eve and Harold for calling it off.
1070
01:22:54,011 --> 01:22:58,346
However, Judge McCaffery is here.
Everything is set up.
1071
01:22:58,974 --> 01:23:01,637
Why not take advantage?
1072
01:23:01,768 --> 01:23:04,886
So would anyone
like to get married today?
1073
01:23:05,022 --> 01:23:06,888
Anybody at all? It's all on us.
1074
01:23:07,024 --> 01:23:11,940
Actually, it's on Eve,
because I'm incredibly cheap.
1075
01:23:12,070 --> 01:23:13,106
Anybody?
1076
01:23:15,782 --> 01:23:18,900
No, OK. Well, I have a suggestion.
1077
01:23:20,245 --> 01:23:21,486
Eve?
1078
01:23:22,623 --> 01:23:25,457
Eve, show yourself.
1079
01:23:39,056 --> 01:23:43,847
My dear, before another marriage
ends in divorce or death,
1080
01:23:43,977 --> 01:23:48,267
why don't we just cut to the chase
and tie the knot?
1081
01:23:49,566 --> 01:23:50,602
What?
1082
01:23:50,734 --> 01:23:54,353
I mean, if there is somebody else
you'd like to marry first,
1083
01:23:54,488 --> 01:23:57,731
before you remarry me, that's fine.
1084
01:23:59,201 --> 01:24:01,614
- Boys, what do you think?
- You're on your own here, Dad.
1085
01:24:01,745 --> 01:24:06,115
- I definitely wanna hear this.
- Mom, it's Dad, so a prenup is a must.
1086
01:24:07,501 --> 01:24:09,993
Thanks, kids. You're out of the will.
1087
01:24:15,133 --> 01:24:18,843
Eve, I've done some stupid things
in my life.
1088
01:24:19,638 --> 01:24:23,348
But that was actually
the younger, dumber me.
1089
01:24:25,936 --> 01:24:28,019
I remember him well.
1090
01:24:29,606 --> 01:24:32,064
I constantly hear people say
1091
01:24:32,192 --> 01:24:35,606
they're looking for the person
they wanna grow old with.
1092
01:24:37,489 --> 01:24:41,950
But we're here, now,
living it right now.
1093
01:24:42,077 --> 01:24:44,865
I wanna grow old with you.
1094
01:24:44,997 --> 01:24:47,614
I wanna spend
the rest of my life with you.
1095
01:24:49,710 --> 01:24:51,667
Will you be my wife?
1096
01:24:51,795 --> 01:24:53,878
Will you marry me?
1097
01:24:56,341 --> 01:24:57,752
Again?
1098
01:25:13,817 --> 01:25:15,558
Yes.
1099
01:25:29,541 --> 01:25:30,952
Come on down here.
1100
01:25:32,711 --> 01:25:34,122
I do.
1101
01:25:37,841 --> 01:25:40,800
Then I pronounce you man and wife.
1102
01:26:07,454 --> 01:26:08,911
All in all, I would have to say
1103
01:26:09,039 --> 01:26:13,534
it was one of Eve's
more entertaining family get-togethers.
1104
01:26:13,669 --> 01:26:16,537
Laughter, tears, love and sex.
1105
01:26:17,673 --> 01:26:20,040
Who could quibble?
1106
01:26:20,175 --> 01:26:24,010
Do you know where your grandmother is?
Sorry. One second. I'll be right back.
1107
01:26:24,137 --> 01:26:26,220
I just wanted to show her something.
1108
01:26:26,973 --> 01:26:30,967
And could you cut the "grandmother" bit?
Otherwise it's...
1109
01:26:37,984 --> 01:26:39,020
Actors.
1110
01:28:08,658 --> 01:28:09,694
Look at them,
1111
01:28:09,826 --> 01:28:13,786
standing around the piano like
they're singing "The Circle of Life"
1112
01:28:13,914 --> 01:28:17,498
when they're actually
singing a song about cheating.
1113
01:28:17,626 --> 01:28:19,208
See? I told you.
1114
01:28:19,377 --> 01:28:24,998
When it comes to my family,
love is just one big mystery.
1115
01:29:32,617 --> 01:29:34,700
Wait for it.
1116
01:29:37,080 --> 01:29:38,537
Wait.
1117
01:29:40,292 --> 01:29:41,783
Going.
1118
01:29:43,378 --> 01:29:44,869
Going.
1119
01:29:47,883 --> 01:29:49,374
Gone.
1120
01:29:58,101 --> 01:30:00,184
Almost dark.
1121
01:30:11,656 --> 01:30:13,147
There.
1122
01:30:28,173 --> 01:30:30,916
BTI Studios
86128
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