All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S04E11

David,

Stevie is just now opening
the Rose Apothecary products

we ordered for the motel.

Okay, good, you're welcome.

Well, it would be good
if the order had arrived

when it was supposed
to arrive, last week.

All right, so it got held up.

What possible difference
could one week make?

We made sure to order those products

- in time for the rollout.
- What rollout?

The Rosebud Motel rollout.

New name, new branding,
flowers in all the rooms.

New custom towels, all
part of the rollout.

- Um, who taught you rollout?
- May have been me. Sorry.

You know, other than
your little blunder,

it would've been a flawless rollout.

Okay, you really need
to stop saying rollout.

David, delivery dates are important,

when it comes to client loyalty.

Okay, do I need to remind you that

I'm the one doing you the favour?

Accessorizing motel bathrooms

is not what I would call
on-brand for the store.

So, if you would like
to pull the account,

you can pull the account.

Well I can't pull the account,

because it's part of the rollout.

So, I may be looking elsewhere

when it comes time
for the pop-out store.

Okay. He meant pop-up store, right?

Honestly, David, it
took him like 2 weeks

to learn rollout, so...

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It's just that we don't want
people adopting sad dogs.

You know, like singles are sad enough,

so we want the puppies to be happy,

and fun, and flirty.

Yeah, I got that note in your email,

uh, but, as you know,
these are rescue dogs so...

it's kinda hard to guarantee fun.

She's a little cutie!

That's actually a he,

and I think he might
already be spoken for?

But the event's like a week away.

I know, I just, I happened to show

some of these little rascals to Heather,

and, and she saw this guy,
and wanted to adopt him.

So, we're just kind of in the
process of making that happen,

for her.

- Hmm. Wow, love that for her.
- Alexis?

Oh, Theodore, back for another
meeting of the animals, I see.

Hello, Mrs. Rose.

You know you two are
lovely little freaks.

In this digital day of
discontented disconnection,

you two still manage to
do things face-to-face,

like people from before your time.

Hmm. We were just finishing up.

Oh, I'll-I'll just see you at
the volunteers' meeting, then?

Um, you know what, you
don't have to come to that.

But, thank you for all
of your help with this.

Okay, uh, okay sure.

Well, let me know if
you need anything else.

- You got my number, obviously.
- Yes, I do, thank you.

- Bye, Mrs. Rose.
- Bye.

See you again soon, I'm sure.

Safe to say our animal-loving
singles will be well placated.

Can I help you with something?

Yes! Yes.

That nudnick at the curling
rink just informed me

that they'll no longer
be able to accommodate

our Lover's Messy
Sloppy Joe Eat-a-Thon.

I'm afraid you have to
secure us another venue.

Okay, well, can't you do it?

N... alas! Your co-chair will
be busy getting herself out

of jury duty today.

Okay, then I will just add
that to the immense list

of things that I have
to do this morning.

Alexis, you know me,
I'm not one to overstep,

But, perhaps you might be able to strike

a few more to-do's off that list

if you and Ted spend a little less time

fussing over this canine auction.

It's a puppy adoption, and we're done.

Planning. So, thank you.

Hey.

Wow! Looking very nice, Stevie.

Yeah, thanks, except I
think I have to go home now.

Really? What's going on?

Uh, nothing to be concerned
about, just... this.

Oh my god! What happened?

I don't know it's like an
allergic reaction or something.

Did we change our laundry detergent?

No, what have you
been doing differently?

Nothing, just rolling things
out, like you asked me to.

Could be, could be an insect bite.

It's all the way up my arms.

Well, Stevie, stop! What are you doing?

Uh I know it's for the guests,

but it's like really good
stuff, and this is extra.

How long have you been using that?

This morning.

Before or after your
arm started itching?

After, definitely after.

Oh, okay.

I mean, I might've tried a little bit

when I was unpacking the box, but...

- my skin gets real dry in here.
- It's the lotion.

What?

David's lotion is giving you the rash!

No, I don't think it's the lotion.

And you know what? I'm not surprised!

Because he gets a lot
of this stuff from farms,

and who knows where,

and you don't know what's
in these natural products!

Stevie, why do you keep doing that?

I don't know, okay! It
might be causing the rash,

but it's also the only thing
that's making it feel better.

Okay, well we have to
now go and see David.

No, I think it's a better
idea that I just go home.

After we handle this!

This is the last thing we need
in the middle of a rollout!

Okay, if I could just
get everyone to be,

like, quiet for a minute?

C-help. Okay.

Hey! Hey.

Um, welcome to the first
official volunteer meeting.

I, of course, am your
co-chair, Alexis Rose.

Um, I think this is
gonna be a very fun week.

But, as of right now,
it's less than ideal.

Um, I don't wanna add
to anyone's stress,

but we just lost the curling club.

- Oh...
- Bottom line, we need a new venue,

so if everyone can just
like, ask around? Please.

I might have a place.

Oh my god!

Okay, um, everyone take a Hot 5.

And oh, for those of you
asking about the t-shirts, yes,

they are supposed to be tight.

This is Singles Week,
everyone is fair game.

Okay?

- Hi!
- Hi.

What are you doing back?

Oh well, I uh, I don't
know if you heard,

but I'm gonna have a
little brother soon,

- so yeah, I couldn't miss that.
- Um, yes, congratulations.

And, are you serious about
having a venue for me?

Because that would be... amazing.

Happy to loan out the barn,

- if it can be cleaned up in time.
- What happened?

Oh, I asked a friend of
mine to keep an eye on it

while I was away, and
musta slipped her mind.

It didn't slip my mind,
I just like, didn't go.

Is it bad?

Yeah, a nice little home
for a family of raccoons.

I had to evict them, though,
and they didn't go quietly.

Okay. You are literally
saving my life right now.

I feel like I should help you clean,

or like, water the plants, or something.

I won't turn down the help,

but you don't have to
worry about the plants,

they are very, very dead.

Mutt, you're making me
feel partially responsible.

Moira Rose.

Moira! Moira!

Jocelyn,

I see you've been lassoed into
the judicial process as well.

Finally!

I'm surprised to see you here, though.

I know, right?

You've served so many times already!

I mean you had to miss
the Jazzagals Luau Luncheon

because of that hung
jury, and then before that,

you and Johnny got caught
in that criminal trial

and couldn't make it
to the Seafood Potluck.

Mmhmm. What can I say?

I'm a stand-out in the jury box.

But shame on them for summoning
a woman in your condition.

Oh no, I've been
waiting for this moment.

Apparently, if they call your number,

you get to stand in front of a judge!

I feel like I'm on "The Voice"!

Ooh, as seductive as
that sounds, no thank you.

With Singles Week
just around the corner,

my services are desperately
needed elsewhere.

- Number 23!
- Oh my god! That's me!

Number 40, number 75!

Uh oh, that's me.

Jocelyn, you're about
to witness a master class

in judicatory persuasion.

Hello?

Hello?

No one at the counter!

Who runs a business like this?

Anyone could just walk
in here and shoplift.

Okay, nobody's just walking
in here and shoplifting.

David! Your face!

I know my face! I know my face!

It's a... it's a heat rash or something!

I look like the Phantom of the Opera!

Well, you can't greet
customers with that face!

You don't think I know that?

I don't have much choice!

Patrick's at some business seminar,

I don't really know, because
I wasn't really listening.

Stevie, show him your arms.

- Thought you'd never ask!
- Oh my god!

What happened to your arms?

Same thing that happened to your face!

- What?
- Your Dad thinks it's your moisturizer.

Okay, that's impossible.

I've been using this moisturizer

- every day for 3 months.
- Oh.

Although, this is a new batch.

And we've already sold
half the stock. Oh my god!

See? I knew it!

David, we have a problem.
We have a big problem.

You could be sued!

- What?
- For retail negligence.

Stevie, show him your arms again.

- I don't want to show him my arms.
- I don't wanna see her arms again.

You realize you're gonna
have to talk to Patrick

and tell him that you two
are gonna have to take a bit

of a breather when it... comes to...

- Ew!
- You know, could be contagious.

- Oh my god!
- Yeah, and here you were this morning,

acting like you were doing
us a favour with the rollout.

Okay, this is one of our
best-selling products.

Well, we're gonna have
to roll it back in.

And stop touching your face!

You stop touching your face!

Okay, this is definitely smaller

than the curling rink.

Well, it sounds like
you've been really busy

- puttin' this thing together.
- Yeah.

What's happened since
you and Tallahassee

left on your pine-cone journey?

It's uh, Tennessee, and I'm
pretty sure you know that,

- and that ended a while ago.
- Oh no!

I totally thought she
was like, the one for you.

We called it off the day we arrived.

She's married to Moonshine
now, the owner of the cone form.

- I'm sorry to hear that.
- That trip was a disaster.

Compass broke halfway there,

we ended up following a star for 2 days.

Anyway, by the time we
got there, we sat down

and uh, spoke our truths.

Pretty freeing.

That day I picked 700 cones!

Hmm, is that like a lot of cones?

Well, Moonshine and his daughter, Petal,

said it was the biggest
one-day haul they'd ever seen.

They gave me the Cone of Achievement,

which allowed me to
take 2 showers that week.

- Speaking of showers,
- Ugh! No!

This can't happen,

I have like 50 zillion
things to do today.

Ooh, well, if only helping
me clean was one of 'em.

Ugh!

I can crack open a bottle of cone wine?

Feeling risky?

Ugh, fine. Um, no.

Uh... fine. No.

Okay, but um, like just one.

Welcome to jury selection.

The case you would be asked to decide

is a misdemeanor embezzlement charge

levied by the owners of Tom
and Marge's Magic and Fun Shop,

against their business
manager, Mr. Albert Percy.

Embezzlement, no, no, no, no.

I've seen this movie before.

It is your responsibility
to notify the court

of anything you've seen or heard,

that may impact on your ability

to be a fair and impartial juror.

Moira, this sounds like
what happened to your family.

- This could be your out.
- Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!

A man needs to be brought to justice.

Yeah.

So we're back to the generic brand.

Well gang,

Just about time for me to clock out.

I gotta tell you two,

this timesheet you have
is really complicated.

By the time I finished filling it out,

I was already into overtime.

So do you guys have an
overtime sheet I can fill out?

Kinda busy in here, Roland.

Whoa. Stevie! Geez! Yowzer!

It's just a reaction
to David's moisturizer.

Well, boy, leave it
to Stevie to get a rash

from a moisturizer
when she's sitting right

- next to poison oak.
- What poison oak?

Excuse me?

Well, right here. It's uh...

- poison oak in that vase there.
- What?

Where did you get
those flowers, Mr. Rose?

Well, I talked to a few
florists, and then I...

decided it was more
authentic and... economical,

if I just went out
back and... picked some.

Uh, correct me if I'm
wrong here, Johnny,

but I don't think poison
oak is that expensive.

I didn't know it was poison oak!

- Mmhmm.
- Wait a second,

if you picked them, then how
come you don't have the rash?

Well, I was wearing gardening gloves.

Okay, look, I'd love to stand
around and help you guys,

but I'm already sneaking
into double overtime here, so,

I'm off.

So... someone's gonna have
to tell David before he...

takes it all back.

No offense, Mr. Rose,
but I'm pretty sure

that someone is not going to be me.

Ma'am, can you assure
my client and the Court,

that you would, to the
best of your ability,

uphold the law if
selected for jury duty?

Affirmative. Mmhmm.

Do you have any life experiences similar

to the facts of this case,

that might affect your judgment?

Well, there was that
summer that Jimmy Smits

stole my heart on stage in
a workshop-only production

of "An Officer and a Gentleman".

I suppose that might be
called emotional embezzlement?

- So your answer is no.
- To what?

Juror 75, you were asked if
you had any personal conflicts

that might affect your
judgments of this case.

I don't know these people.
I don't know these people.

The fact that my own world
was ripped out from under me,

by someone like this
prick of a prestidigitator?

I should think would help
the court in the quest

to make a fair judgment.

- May I approach the bench, please?
- No, you may not.

The Court thanks and
excuses Prospective Juror 75.

Jocelyn, for the sake of that woman,

you must push for the maximum sentence!

- Your Honor!
- Hold on.

You two know each other?

Not really, we just got
to talking on the way in.

I... I wouldn't say we were close.

All right, I'm dismissing
both Juror 75 and Juror 23.

Mother.

This is the farthest I've ever gone!

It sounds like it's
actually raining harder.

So just take the day
off, like old time's sake.

Um, I am a college graduate, Mutt.

Singles Week is not community service,

it's actually very important to me.

And I respect that.

So, will you be
participating in Singles Week?

Ugh. No, I'm trying to like,

learn from my mistakes
before making any new ones.

Think it's funny, you
bringing people together,

- and, here we are, still single.
- Hmm.

Makes you wonder if it's us?

- What is happening?
- I don't know,

I just thought we were
here, it's raining,

felt like nothing had changed.

Yeah, I can see how you
would make that leap,

but things have changed for me.

That's cool.

We did have some fun in here, though.

Yeah, we did.

You were quite the heartbreaker.

Yeah.

Not like, super proud of that, but...

Um, so when you and
Tallahassee had your talk,

you said it was... freeing.

Saying something you've
kept hidden, out loud?

Yeah, it was pretty freeing.

Though, in our case,
it was mostly swears

and we didn't talk for a week,
but it was worth it in the end.

Who knows where I'd
be right now if I just

didn't tell her how I felt. Hmm.

Yeah.

I think I need to leave.

It's still raining!

Yeah, I know, I know, there's um,

there's like something I need to do.

But thank you for the talk,

and for finishing up cleaning,

because I'm obviously
not gonna help with that.

You're a good one, Mutt.

Okay, bye.

Okay, well I don't know what
to tell you, Brenda, I'm rashy!

Rashy!

Yeah, the batch must be
contaminated or something,

it's like, some, some
cream-borne virus!

Yes, it's the cream.

My skin is normally fresh,
and dewy, and blemish-free.

Well, I've already sold half the stock!

Okay, can you hold for a sec?

What now?

Oh, I'm just dropping by, you know.

Oh, place looks great,
really uh, really shaping up.

Yeah, I'm just on the
phone with the vendor

that sold us the
infectious moisturizer, so,

Well, does the vendor
have a sense of humor,

because this is a good one!

Remember the conversation
we were having this morning

about you know, the rash?

Well, it turns out it
wasn't the moisturizer,

it was poison oak.

Brenda, can I call you back?

You know, it seems
poison oak accidentally

found its way into the floral
arrangements at the motel.

How did that happen?

I don't know.

I don't know how it
happened. I think someone,

someone must've thought
it was a beautiful plant.

Mmhmm. You did this, didn't you?

Well...

you, yourself must've thought
it was a pretty flower,

or you wouldn't have put
your whole face in it!

I'm sorry for touching
my nose to a flower!

I just went all Gordon Ramsey

on one of my most important vendors!

I basically told her,

her product was like a jar of Ebola!

So, this is uh, not a good time

to talk about future orders.

We will be canceling your account.

Just be outgoing, be open,

and show them your best self.

And don't worry, I'll be
vetting everyone in advance.

- Hi.
- Hi.

How long have you been standing there?

Um, long enough.

Yeah, I was just giving
them a little pup talk.

Okay, Ted, I have a few things to say,

and I need you just to listen.

Okay, uh, is it about
the puppies though,

just because they're
kinda fragile right now,

so maybe we should go in the other room.

- It's not about the puppies.
- Oh, okay, good.

Okay. So as you know,

Singles Week has been taking
up a lot of my time, um,

because this could be like, a
big step forward in my career,

and generally speaking,

this is like a very cute look for me.

- Okay.
- Okay... not finished yet.

The problem is, I've been having um,

a hard time focusing on this
exciting career opportunity

because my mind has been elsewhere.

Oh, I just assumed that's
how you always work.

Thank you, Ted, but this is different.

I love you.

I'm in love with you.

And, I know I really don't have
any right to say that to you.

And also, I know you're
in a relationship, um,

and I'm happy for you, I really am,

I just feel like if I
didn't tell you how I felt,

I would literally go insane.

You're the sweetest man I've ever known.

And... that's it.

Wow, I didn't... I
don't know what to say.

You don't have to say anything.

Um, but maybe I could take
a puppy home for the night.

- You know I can't let you do that.
- Yeah, no. That's no problem.

Um, I was just thinking
if there was like,

a particularly runty one, like Cindy,

or like, no, no. That's okay.

Okay, well, this is going to
be a very successful event.

Like, really great.

Okay.

-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --