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1
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:25,994
Come on.
2
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,880
Is it so difficult
for you to start?
3
00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:30,120
It's so basic.
If you don't go,
4
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,475
there's little point
in having you.
5
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,360
Just pull yourself
together, all right?
6
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:53,759
Make an effort.
7
00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,880
- Now, look.
- Mr. Fawlty.
8
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,880
Mr. Fawlty,
Mr. Fawlty.
9
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,040
Uh, telephone.
10
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,840
- What?
- Telephone.
11
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,600
Telephone.
12
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,120
Where's Sybil?
13
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:09,480
�Qu�?
14
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:11,680
Where's Sy-bil?
15
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:12,880
Uh...
16
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,240
"Where's...
17
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,240
the bill"?
18
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,680
No, no, no.
Not the bill,
19
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,280
I own the place,
I don't pay bills.
20
00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:19,440
Where's my wife?
21
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,960
She not here.
22
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,188
She is there!
23
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,080
Oh, never mind.
Never mind.
24
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,880
Right, leave it to me,
I'll do it.
25
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,840
I'll mend the car,
I'll answer the telephone.
26
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,880
Then you can chain me up,
and I'll wash the windows.
27
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,200
- In here, in here.
- Yes, I know!
28
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,360
- This way.
- Yes, yes!
29
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,590
I know it's this way.
I own the place.
30
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,120
Hello, Fawlty Towers.
31
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,760
Oh, Andre!
Thank you for calling.
32
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,600
Kurt's marvelous.
33
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,560
We're absolutely
delighted with him.
34
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,080
Really, Andre,
he's wonderful!
35
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:53,400
This, Basil's wife...
36
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,440
This, Basil...
37
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,590
This, smack on head.
38
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,640
Just one moment, Andre.
39
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,680
- Basil?
- Yes, dear?
40
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,240
Have you taken
the car in yet?
41
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:05,480
Yes, I'm dealing
with it, dear.
42
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,280
You're not trying
to do it yourself?
43
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,880
Oh, have you seen
this mark, dear?
44
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:09,880
Did you hear
what I said?
45
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,600
Yes, I did.
Bit of a scratch.
46
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,680
Take it into the garage.
47
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,400
Yes, just having
a look at it, dear.
48
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,880
Sorry, Andre.
Where was I?
49
00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,240
Yes, he's the best chef
we've ever had.
50
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,880
We can't thank you enough
for finding him for us.
51
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,040
Look, can you come
have dinner on Sunday?
52
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,520
There's something we want
to ask your advice about.
53
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,876
Okay, lovely.
See you then, then.
54
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,400
Hello, Polly.
55
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,880
Will you come and have
a drink, Mrs. Fawlty?
56
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,120
I've just sold a sketch.
57
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,960
Really?
I'd love to.
58
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,880
- Hello.
- Hello.
59
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,680
Kurt, Andre can
come on Sunday.
60
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,480
I thought you were
taking the car in?
61
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,280
- Are you at those again?
- Just took one, dear.
62
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,920
You've had enough
of those, Basil.
63
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,440
Will you deal
with the car, please?
64
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,680
- Good, Mr. Fawlty?
- Superb, Kurt.
65
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,520
- For you, Mr. Fawlty?
- Thank you, Polly.
66
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,880
Are you going
to do the car?
67
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,640
In a moment,
my little piranha fish.
68
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,880
- What's this for?
- I've just sold a sketch.
69
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,160
What, for money?
70
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,240
I bought it, Mr. Fawlty.
She's very talented.
71
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,240
Oh, no, Polly.
I won't.
72
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:10,320
- Oh, come on.
- No, thank you.
73
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,880
I brought it to thank you.
74
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,800
- No, honestly.
- Don't you like it?
75
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,960
Too much, but not
when I'm working.
76
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,560
You drink it for me, Manuel.
77
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,960
- Well, cheerio!
- Cheerio, Basil.
78
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,040
Well, that smelled nice.
79
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,240
Here it is, Mr. Fawlty.
80
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,880
She's really got
something, you know.
81
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,760
- Really?
- Worth 50p, anyway.
82
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,080
Yes, do you win a bun
83
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,360
if you guess what it is,
or something?
84
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,160
- It's Manuel.
- What?!
85
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,360
- It's me.
- Where?!
86
00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,880
Manuel is my friend.
We're good friends, eh?
87
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:37,880
Oh, s�.
88
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,560
Yes. Very modern,
very socialist.
89
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,480
Something to remember him by,
when he goes.
90
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,720
You still here, Basil?
91
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,120
No, I went a couple
of minutes ago, dear.
92
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,880
But I expect
I'll be back shortly.
93
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,840
Oh, no, no, Manuel!
94
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,600
Look!
Like this.
95
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,920
Oh, I like that.
Will you do me one?
96
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,120
Really?
Of Manuel?
97
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,480
Yes. Look nice
on Basil's bedside table.
98
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:58,640
Two in a day.
99
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,480
That's as many as Van Gogh
sold in a lifetime.
100
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:04,553
But he didn't have Manuel
as a model, eh?
101
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,120
Mm, this is wonderful.
102
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,320
I told you,
he's one of the best.
103
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,880
He's almost as
good as you, Andre.
104
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,920
He's absolutely
divine, Basil.
105
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,040
Go on, have a bit.
106
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,440
Mm. 'Tis good, isn't it?
107
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,440
Oh, listen to him.
108
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,160
The only place
I've ever seen him eat
109
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,520
is your restaurant, Andre.
110
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,040
Now he's stuffing it away
like a hamster.
111
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,040
Really, Sybil.
112
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,840
We're going to buy him
a great big wheel
113
00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:45,040
to run around in
when he's got a moment,
114
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:48,600
or he'll get like
a big bad-tempered tomato.
115
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:49,760
I believe we were
discussing
116
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,880
the gourmet evening, dear.
117
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,040
Do you know, Andre...
118
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,320
he burst his zipper
this morning.
119
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:55,878
Oh!
120
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,800
What's the matter, darling?
121
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,080
You're embarrassing Andre!
122
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,600
No, I'm embarrassing you.
Look at that!
123
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,240
I'd better go have a word
with the guests.
124
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,549
Why don't you have
another vat of wine, dear?
125
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,760
Good evening, Major.
Enjoying your soup?
126
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,960
Tasted a bit off
to me, Fawlty.
127
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,040
It's made with
fresh mushrooms, Major.
128
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,871
Ah! That would explain it.
129
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,600
Good evening.
130
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,960
Everything to
your satisfaction?
131
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,400
- Yes, thank...
- Well, uh...
132
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,600
- I don't like the chips.
- Sorry?
133
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:26,880
The chips are awful.
134
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,480
Oh, dear. What's wrong
with them then?
135
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,880
They're the wrong shape,
and they're just awful.
136
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,360
He gets everything cooked
the way he likes it at home.
137
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,880
Ah, does he?
138
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,360
Yes, and it's better
than this pig's garbage.
139
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:38,680
Now, Ronald!
140
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,040
These eggs look
like you laid them.
141
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,520
Ronald!
142
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,200
N-now, l-look here,
old chap.
143
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,160
Shut up!
Leave him alone!
144
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,520
He's very clever,
rather highly strung.
145
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,040
Yes, yes, he should be.
146
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,280
Haven't you
any proper chips?
147
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,040
These are proper
french fried potatoes.
148
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,600
The chef is continental.
149
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,080
Couldn't you get
an English one?
150
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,200
Why don't you eat
one or two, dear?
151
00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,400
They're the wrong shape.
152
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,480
What shape do
you usually have?
153
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,360
Mickey Mouse shape?
Smarties shape?
154
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,880
Amphibious
landing craft shape?
155
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,400
Poke in the eye shape?
156
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,040
- God, you're dumb.
- Oh, now!
157
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,840
Is there something we can
get you instead, Sonny?
158
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,240
I'd like some bread
and salad cream.
159
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,240
To eat?
160
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,760
Well, there's the bread,
161
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,120
and there's the mayonnaise.
162
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,040
I said, "Salad cream,"
stupid.
163
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,800
We don't have
any salad cream.
164
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,400
The chef made this
freshly this morning.
165
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,880
What a dump.
166
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,760
This is very good.
167
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:29,880
He likes salad cream.
168
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,280
That's puke, that is.
169
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:32,760
At least,
it's fresh puke.
170
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,640
- Oh, dear!
- Well, he said it.
171
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,880
May I ask why you don't
have proper salad cream?
172
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,080
Most restaurants...
173
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,440
Well, the chef usually buys it
only on special occasions,
174
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,240
you know, gourmet nights,
and so on.
175
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,280
But when he's
got a bottle, ah!
176
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,000
He's a genius with it.
177
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,400
He can unscrew the cap
like Robert Carrier.
178
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,440
It's a treat to watch.
And then...
179
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,880
Right on the plate!
180
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:53,960
Never on the walls!
Magic!
181
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:55,840
Mind you, he's a wizard
with the tin opener, too.
182
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:56,920
He's got a Pulitzer Prize
for that.
183
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,600
He can have the stuff
in the saucepan
184
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:00,880
before you can say,
"Haute cuisine."
185
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,880
You name it,
he'll heat it up
186
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,360
and scrape it off
the pan for you.
187
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,440
Skill like that
isn't picked up overnight.
188
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,040
Still, I'll tell him
to get some salad cream.
189
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:09,800
You never know
when Henry Kissinger
190
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,440
is going to drop in,
do you?
191
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,670
- Ow!
- Oh, sorry!
192
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,520
N-n-nice man.
193
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,520
No, no, seriously.
194
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,880
I think it's
a very good idea.
195
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,520
- You do, really?
- I promise you.
196
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,120
People around here
are getting
197
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:23,640
more and more keen
on good food.
198
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:24,880
Well, so much
for tonight's guests.
199
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,000
Ignorant rabble.
200
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,800
There's always a few,
Mr. Fawlty.
201
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,120
Not on gourmet night,
there won't be.
202
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,520
- None of these proles.
- Basil!
203
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:31,720
Well!
204
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,520
Andre thinks Thursday nights
would be best.
205
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:34,800
- "Thursdays?"
- Mm-hmm.
206
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:35,800
I think so.
207
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:36,800
And on all
the other nights
208
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,320
we'll just have
a big trough of baked beans
209
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,788
and garnish it with
a couple of dead dogs.
210
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,000
That's settled then.
211
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,640
Good. I'm very pleased
for Kurt, too.
212
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:48,600
It'll be good for him to have
something special to do.
213
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,760
I'd like to have a word
with him, do you mind?
214
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:51,880
Of course not.
215
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,440
I'll get the menus
printed on Monday.
216
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,520
Polly can do the menus.
217
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:55,520
- No, she can't.
- Yes, she can.
218
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:56,680
- No, she can't.
- Yes, she can.
219
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:57,669
- No, she can't.
- Yes, she can.
220
00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:59,480
Yes, she can!
221
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,880
You can write the advertisement
in the echo.
222
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,960
Only, don't make it
too toffee-nosed, Basil.
223
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,280
We don't want
to put people off.
224
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,760
I just want to keep
the riffraff away, dear.
225
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,520
Well, good luck,
my friend.
226
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,040
It's good
to have you down here.
227
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,160
Thank you for...
228
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:12,840
- Well, you know.
- Don't mention it.
229
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,880
Nice to have
met you, Manuel.
230
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,040
He's my friend.
231
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,920
One night I cook
you both paella.
232
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,880
Okay.
And Kurt... hmm!
233
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:20,880
You don't trust me?
234
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,029
Ciao.
235
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,880
Manuel, together
you and I make
236
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,880
Fawlty Towers famous
for its cooking.
237
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:27,880
�Qu�?
238
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,120
Excellent,
tip-top, famoso!
239
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,395
Oh, you're are
so cute.
240
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,672
- Manuel.
- Oh!
241
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,880
Get a clean one.
242
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,438
Is clean now.
243
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,037
Is dirty now.
244
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,360
Do you like the menu,
Mr. Fawlty?
245
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:52,360
No, I don't.
246
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:53,680
- Oh, good.
- What?
247
00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:54,954
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
248
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,320
Give it to me.
Give it to me.
249
00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,878
Thank you.
250
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,720
Well, Basil,
guess who just called
251
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,880
to cancel at 12 minutes
past 7:00.
252
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:07,120
- Who?
- The Coosters.
253
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,880
What, all four?
254
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:09,880
Marvelous, isn't it?
255
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,880
Ach!
What did they say?
256
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:12,880
One of them's ill.
257
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,280
Well, let's hope
it's nothing trivial.
258
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,120
Do you realize
there are four people
259
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:18,880
at our grand
opening dinner?
260
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,560
- Never mind.
- "Never mind?"
261
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,880
There's four people, Basil.
262
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,240
Shall we feed them
in the kitchen?
263
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:25,800
But think who
those four are.
264
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,880
Colonel and Mrs. Hall,
both JPS;
265
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:29,240
and Lionel Twitchen,
266
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,440
one of Torquay's
leading Rotarians.
267
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,840
That'll put us
on the map.
268
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,080
He's this year's
treasurer, dear.
269
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,320
I should have never
let you write that advert.
270
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,360
Fancy putting,
"No Riffraff."
271
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,560
When you're presenting
haute cuisine,
272
00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:43,160
you don't want the working class
sticking its nose in it.
273
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,240
Everything all right?
Where's Kurt?
274
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,920
He and Manuel are getting
the wine from the cellar.
275
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,640
Ah, this is what
it's all about.
276
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:50,880
You two!
277
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,560
You're supposed
to be in your rooms!
278
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,400
You're not allowed down here tonight.
Remember?
279
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,080
Ooh, doesn't it look pretty?
280
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,480
What are you cooking?
281
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:58,920
I'll send you up a menu
with your bread and cheese.
282
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,480
Now get out!
283
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,080
Basil, they're here.
284
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,840
- What?
- The Halls are here.
285
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,080
- Go to your rooms!
- The Halls!
286
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,880
Mr. Fawlty!
287
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,120
Mr. Fawlty!
I very upset!
288
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,680
Not now, Manuel.
Later!
289
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,280
Well, when I went
for my jog this morning,
290
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,520
I thought it was
going to be pretty warm.
291
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,000
But in the event,
of course,
292
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,240
it turned out to be...
293
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,040
pretty cool, really.
294
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,480
Uh, then it began to
cloud up this afternoon...
295
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,840
quite contrary to the
weather forecast, naturally.
296
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,240
And I shouldn't
be a bit surprised
297
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,680
if we get
a spot of rain tonight.
298
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,920
Still, it's been a lovely summer,
hasn't it?
299
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,680
- Oh, yes.
- Ah, colonel!
300
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,360
How delightful
to see you again.
301
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,360
Sorry?
302
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:41,760
How delightful
to see you again.
303
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,880
We met last year
at the golf club dinner dance,
304
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:44,920
you may remember.
305
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,080
No, I don't.
306
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,760
Ah, fine,
we didn't talk for long.
307
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,160
Just good evening,
really, you know.
308
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,920
A blink of the eye
and you would've missed it.
309
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,320
As indeed you did...
310
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,120
Quite understandably.
311
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,880
Sorry?
What?
312
00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,080
Hmm?
313
00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:00,560
Well, uh...
314
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,880
How's that lovely
daughter of yours?
315
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,280
She's dead.
316
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,480
I like your suit...
isn't that super,
317
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,160
the way those stripes
go up and down?
318
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,200
It's really super!
319
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,520
How much did
that cost then?
320
00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:11,800
Who are you?!
321
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,791
I mean, I don't
know your name!
322
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,440
What is it?
323
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,840
- What?
- My name.
324
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,560
Oh, this is my husband,
Basil Fawlty.
325
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:23,560
- That's it!
- What?
326
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:24,760
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
327
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,040
And may I introduce
my wife?
328
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,680
She just
introduced you.
329
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:28,680
Oh, what a coincidence.
330
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:29,840
Yes.
331
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,560
Well, I don't believe
you know my wife.
332
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,120
Dead?
Yes.
333
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,872
May I introduce
Mrs. Hall?
334
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,240
Oh, sorry!
335
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,231
Didn't see you down there.
Don't get up.
336
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,000
What would you
like to drink,
337
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,120
Mrs. Small... hall!
338
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,440
Yes, a short,
339
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:50,873
or, or...
340
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,520
Sherry!
How about a Sherry?
341
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:54,520
A Sherry, lovely.
342
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:55,760
Oh, good.
Large, or... or...
343
00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,880
or not quite so large?
344
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,440
Two, small and dry.
345
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:01,880
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
346
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,000
What?
347
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,000
I don't know.
348
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,040
Two small,
dry sherries.
349
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,120
Oh, I see
what you mean.
350
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,120
I'm sorry!
351
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,160
Ah, Mr. And Mrs. Twitchen,
good evening.
352
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,880
Welcome to Fawlty Towers.
353
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:13,880
Good evening.
354
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,440
How very au fait of you
355
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,680
to come to our little
culinary soiree this evening.
356
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,640
Only too glad to support
something new in Torquay.
357
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,040
Such an unusual idea.
358
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,280
I do hope it works out.
359
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,280
Well, we have our hopes.
360
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,520
- Mr. Fawlty?
- Ah, Polly!
361
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,800
Would you take
Mrs. Twitchen's coat, please?
362
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,080
- Yes, of course.
- Thank you so much.
363
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,080
Now, would
you care to...
364
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,120
- Mr. Fawlty?
- Yes?
365
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,120
Can I have
a word with you?
366
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,840
Uh, yes.
Oh, this is Polly.
367
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,880
She will be serving you
later this evening.
368
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,160
- Uh...
- Well?
369
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,600
It's Kurt.
370
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,680
Yes?
371
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,080
He's potted...
372
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,080
the shrimps.
373
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,080
What?
374
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,040
He's potted
the shrimps.
375
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:49,120
"Shrimps"? We're not having
shrimps tonight, Polly.
376
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,120
Now...
377
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,920
He's sauced!
378
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:52,960
...the herrings.
379
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,880
What are you
talking about?
380
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,320
He's pickled
the onions,
381
00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,440
and he's smashed
the eggs in his cups...
382
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,480
...under the table.
383
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,520
Excuse me.
384
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:05,880
Have you been drinking?
385
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,600
- No, not me!
- Will you behave yourself!
386
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,880
I'm so sorry to have
kept you waiting.
387
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,200
Uh, would you
care for a...
388
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,240
Will you stop that?!
389
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,880
Please pull yourself
together!
390
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,872
Now may I offer you
a little aperitif before...
391
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,520
Sorry,
a bit of cotton.
392
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,240
May I offer
you a little aperitif
393
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,880
while you make up
your mind
394
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:24,920
what you'd like
for dinner?
395
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,360
That's very kind of you.
Lotte?
396
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,880
A tomato juice,
please.
397
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:28,880
Mr. Twitchen?
398
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,040
Tomato juice for me,
thank you.
399
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,440
Ah, good!
Oh, Colonel.
400
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,880
Colonel and Mrs. Hall...
401
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,880
may I introduce
Mr. And Mrs...
402
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:37,869
Tw...
403
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,080
Have you met?
404
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:43,080
No, no,
we haven't.
405
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,320
- Have you?
- No.
406
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,160
Oh, good. What would
you like to drink then?
407
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,360
- What?
- To drink.
408
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,120
I didn't catch
the name.
409
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,120
Oh, you didn't it
catch it.
410
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,200
What a rotten
bit of luck.
411
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,120
- Well?
- Fine, thank you. And you?
412
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,240
No, no, we still
don't know the name.
413
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,280
Oh, Fawlty,
Basil Fawlty.
414
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:57,880
No, no, theirs!
415
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,120
Oh, theirs!
So sorry!
416
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,720
I thought meant yours!
417
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,720
My, it's nice and warm,
isn't it?
418
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,920
I could do with a drink, too.
So, another Sherry?
419
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,600
Well, aren't you going
to introduce us?
420
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,760
- Didn't I?
- No!
421
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,751
Oh. This is Mr. And Mrs...
422
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:11,880
What?
423
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:12,880
Uh, Mister...
424
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,233
and Missus...
425
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,119
Sorry, I fainted.
426
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,520
Well, I feel
better now.
427
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,520
I'll just get all
your tomato juices.
428
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:25,880
Twychen, actually.
429
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,160
Hall. Would you care
to join us?
430
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:28,720
Thank you so much.
431
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,400
- Here we are.
- Thank you, sir.
432
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,197
Would you like
to see the menu?
433
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:33,920
Yes, what is it?
434
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,280
Please,
put the bottle down.
435
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,040
- What do you want?
- Please put the bottle down!
436
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,160
What is it?!
437
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:39,957
Kurt is drunk.
438
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,720
Sorry!
Sorry.
439
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,760
"Drunk"?
440
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,600
Almost unconscious.
441
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:49,953
Right.
442
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,200
Sorry!
Sorry!
443
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,880
How?
444
00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,400
I don't know.
It happened so quickly.
445
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,400
- He had a row with Manuel.
- Manuel?
446
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,520
He's got
a crush on him.
447
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:03,520
- A what?!
- A crush.
448
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:04,509
You know, in love.
449
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:06,920
Sorry.
450
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,880
Um, would you excuse me
for a moment?
451
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,400
I won't be one moment.
452
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,720
I knew it!
453
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:12,920
I should have never hired
a Frenchman.
454
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:14,280
He's Greek,
Mr. Fawlty.
455
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,440
Well, that's even worse.
I mean, they invented it.
456
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:17,920
Right!
457
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,000
Give that to me, Kurt.
458
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,160
Give me
that bottle.
459
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,880
No, go away!
Leave me alone.
460
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,160
Come on.
Give it to me.
461
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:25,149
Manuel!
462
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:30,080
Come on, Kurt.
463
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,360
Manuel!
He doesn't love me!
464
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:34,160
Well, you have
to give these things time.
465
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,080
I want Manuel!
466
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:37,400
I'm sure we can
arrange something.
467
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,480
Now can I
have the bottle?
468
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,960
- He's so sweet.
- Yes, he is sweet.
469
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,360
He's wonderful!
470
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,600
Yes!
I know!
471
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:44,635
Damn you!
472
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,240
Kurt? Come on.
473
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:54,240
Come on!
474
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:55,680
Get some black coffee,
quick!
475
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:56,880
He can't drink it.
He's out.
476
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,440
No, he isn't.
He's only drank half a bottle!
477
00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,720
Come on,
come on, Kurt!
478
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,600
Come on!
Come on, Kurt!
479
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:02,794
Come on.
480
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,880
Now listen to me, Kurty!
481
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,480
I come in now,
but no cuddle.
482
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:09,469
You hear me?!
483
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:11,920
Look at what
you've done.
484
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,200
- Dead?
- To the world.
485
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,200
He's only drunk, Manuel.
486
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,440
- This is your fault!
- Qu�?
487
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:16,880
You only had
to be civil to him.
488
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,240
- "Civil"?
- Nice!
489
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,200
You no understand.
Is not enough.
490
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,560
He want to kiss me.
491
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,200
Oh, what's one little...
492
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,480
Mr. Fawlty!
Call Andre.
493
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:25,680
He can do the cooking.
494
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,720
He's open tonight!
He's open on a Thursday,
495
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,720
you cloth-eared bint!
496
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:29,880
But he can
do it there.
497
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,279
You can pick it up
in the car.
498
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,959
Brilliant!
499
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,600
Right!
500
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,920
I can't resist lobster.
501
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,880
No. Tournedos for me
every time.
502
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,520
Would you care
for another drink?
503
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,800
No, I don't think
we will.
504
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:45,800
We're nearly ready
to order.
505
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,400
I'll be back
in a moment.
506
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,880
So, you can't
do the lobster?
507
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:49,880
Right, right,
I see,
508
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,400
but, Andre,
the tournedos...
509
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,880
Yes, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
510
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:54,960
- Basil!
- Shh! Shh!
511
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,400
Yes, of course
I want the duck.
512
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,480
That's marvelous, but can you
do one or two sauces?
513
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,840
Wonderful! That's it!
Thank you, Andre!
514
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,040
Why are you
talking to Andre?
515
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,040
What is it?
What is it?
516
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,840
They're ready
to order, Basil.
517
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:06,840
- Stall them.
- What?
518
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:07,960
Stall them,
you stupid woman!
519
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,040
Tell them some lie.
520
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,240
- What's happening?
- Shh!
521
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,320
Will you just tell me
what you're doing?
522
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:13,880
We've got
to change the menu.
523
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,155
Why? Why?
524
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,520
- Why?
- Listen, he's out there!
525
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,360
He's flat out!
So, Andre's...
526
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:21,360
Who is?
527
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,040
- What?!
- Who is "out?"
528
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:26,040
Kurt! Who did you think,
Henry Kissinger?
529
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,240
- What do you mean out?
- He's drunk!
530
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:29,360
- "Drunk?"
- Drunk!
531
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:32,120
Soused, potted,
inebriated, got it?!
532
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,080
- I don't believe it.
- Neither do I.
533
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,036
Perhaps it's a dream.
534
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,640
No, it's not a dream.
We're stuck with it. Right!
535
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,040
Andre's doing the cooking,
I'll collect it in the car.
536
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,040
What's he cooking?
537
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,040
Duck!
538
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:46,040
- "Duck?"
- Duck!
539
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,031
- "Duck?"
- You know, duck.
540
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,360
I'm so sorry
to have kept you waiting.
541
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,400
Well, we'd like
to order now.
542
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,840
Uh, yes, quite.
543
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,080
My wife would like
the lobster as her main...
544
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,320
Yes, excuse me...
545
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,440
there is one small thing.
546
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,360
I'm afraid you were given
the wrong menus.
547
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,351
Uh, this is tonight's menu.
548
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,600
What?
549
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:13,880
Uh, yes,
I'm afraid
550
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,880
the chef changed his mind,
and forgot to tell us.
551
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,920
He's like that.
Brilliant, but temperamental.
552
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,400
- He's changed everything.
- I'm afraid so.
553
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,880
It wasn't good enough,
so he just chucked it away.
554
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:23,880
He's such a perfectionist.
555
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,160
- The lobster?
- Lobster,
556
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:26,880
tournedos, you name it,
it's in the bin.
557
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:27,880
How extraordinary.
558
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,320
Lucky old bin, I say.
559
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,080
This is
your new menu.
560
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,920
Duck with orange.
561
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,512
Duck with cherries.
562
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,640
Duck surprise?
563
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,520
What's duck surprise?
564
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,432
Uh, that's duck
without orange or cherries.
565
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,400
Is this all there is?
Duck?
566
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,880
Um, yes.
567
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,440
Done, of course, the three
extremely different ways.
568
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,880
And what do you do
if you don't like duck?
569
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,880
If you don't like duck...
570
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,791
Uh, you're rather stuck.
571
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,080
Well, fortunately,
I love it!
572
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,360
Oh, good, so that's
four ducks, is it?
573
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:02,839
You were right.
574
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,360
Now, he's getting
this duck from Andre.
575
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:08,720
Yes, but I don't know
what vegetables he's put on.
576
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:09,880
Three salmon mousses, Polly.
577
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,880
And one mullet with
mustard sauce for Mrs. Hall.
578
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,040
Where's the mullet?
579
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,040
There!
580
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,080
Oh, right.
581
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,680
What are you doing
about vegetables, Basil?
582
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:18,880
Same as the other menu, dear.
583
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,560
- Andre's not doing any?
- No, no! You and Polly!
584
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,760
- Um, mustard sauce!
- Mustard sauce, here.
585
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,520
When I'm out in the car,
you get them ready, right?
586
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,520
- Right.
- Ready, Polly?
587
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,520
Ready.
588
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:29,640
- Manuel?
- S�?
589
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:30,880
Two of those for table nine,
and one of those,
590
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,474
and that one's
for table four. Come on!
591
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:34,869
S�.
592
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,516
- Ah.
- There you are.
593
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,520
- There you go.
- No, the other way around.
594
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,160
- �Qu�?
- The other way around.
595
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,149
Oh.
Please!
596
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:46,800
No, no, no!
The plates!
597
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:47,880
Change the plates.
598
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,600
Oh, is dirty.
I change.
599
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,079
Come here!
600
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,000
Change the plates.
601
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,230
"Change the plates."
602
00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,920
Pardon.
603
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,720
S�, I tell them.
604
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:02,880
Sorry.
Sorry.
605
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:03,869
Is wrong.
606
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,880
Ow!
607
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,880
I'm so sorry,
he's from Barcelona.
608
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,320
Do forgive me.
609
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:13,878
I don't know
what he sees in you!
610
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,200
Do you think we could
have a drink, dear?
611
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,080
May I see the wine list,
please, Fawlty?
612
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,360
Certainly, Major...
613
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:27,040
Colonel!
614
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,200
Everything all right?
615
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,320
Yes, I expect so.
616
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:31,680
Oh, good.
Mrs. Twitchen?
617
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,000
Yes, it's fine,
Mr. Fawlty.
618
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,000
Good.
Good.
619
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,800
He's got it
in his hair.
620
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,440
How is it, dear?
621
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,200
Rather good,
surprisingly.
622
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,440
Well, there's
the wine list.
623
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,873
Thank you
very much.
624
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:45,880
What is it, petal?
What's the matter?
625
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,040
Is everything
all right?
626
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,400
Oh, I think
I'm gonna be sick!
627
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,709
It is an unusual taste,
isn't it?
628
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,880
It's not cooked,
you ignoramus!
629
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,440
What are you trying
to do to us, Fawlty?
630
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:58,480
Do you mean that's raw?
631
00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,880
Oh, would you prefer
a cooked one?
632
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,240
Of course she'd prefer
a cooked one!
633
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,520
I'll get you
a cooked one then.
634
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,520
It'll be even nicer!
635
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,880
No! No!
636
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,760
This is raw!
This mullet is raw!
637
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:07,880
What do we do to it?
638
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:08,880
Kurt! Kurt!
639
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:09,880
Kurt, listen...
640
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:11,880
what do we do
with this, hmm?
641
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:15,360
Do we grill it?
If we grill it, just go, "uh."
642
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,920
All right, do we fry it?
Just go, "uh."
643
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,880
Going well,
isn't it?
644
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,240
Basil, will you
just get out?
645
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,229
Right!
646
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:26,800
- Wine!
- What?
647
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,080
The colonel wants
some wine.
648
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,957
No, you go, Polly.
He won't hit a woman.
649
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:34,880
Have you, uh...
650
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,320
Have you chosen yet,
major?
651
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:37,360
Colonel!
652
00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,520
Have you chosen
your wine?
653
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:40,880
Oh, yes.
Chablis, please.
654
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:41,880
Thank you.
655
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,279
- Waitress?
- Yes.
656
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,511
There's a hair
in my mousse.
657
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,960
Well, don't talk
too loud.
658
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,560
Everybody
will want one.
659
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,640
What?!
660
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,868
Sorry.
661
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,080
Oh, get out of the way.
662
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,640
Get out.
663
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,720
I'm so sorry
about that.
664
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,278
The mullet's on its way.
665
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,120
- Andre.
- Ah, Monsieur Fawlty.
666
00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:23,120
There you are,
a beautiful duck for you.
667
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:24,880
It should be,
mmm, delicious.
668
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:25,869
Top!
669
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:28,600
He's always asleep.
670
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:29,600
There you are.
671
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,000
Don't forget the sauces.
672
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,120
- There.
- Thank you.
673
00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:33,560
- All right.
- Oh, marvelous.
674
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,520
I hope it all goes
very well for you.
675
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:36,509
Good luck.
676
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,869
Come on!
677
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:56,920
What, no good?
678
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,600
No, it's very good.
679
00:22:58,600 --> 00:22:59,589
Oh.
680
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,000
Here it is, Polly.
681
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,040
Right, I'll carve
it on the trolley.
682
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,320
And... well done.
Well done, everybody.
683
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:31,880
Ah, Manuel,
get the trolley ready.
684
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,280
Right,
right, let's go.
685
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:34,280
Basil!
686
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,880
Aah!
687
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,480
Look what you've done,
you stupid great tart!
688
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:39,480
Wait a minute.
689
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:40,480
I think it'll
be all right.
690
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,516
Yes. Yes,
you're right!
691
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:47,869
Look!
692
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,000
Look at it!
693
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,320
I mean,
look at that!
694
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:52,640
Can I help, dear?
695
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,440
Yes! Go and kill yourself!
696
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:55,880
No, talk to Andre first!
697
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:57,871
Tell him we
need another one!
698
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,240
- Oh, go talk to them...
- What?
699
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,880
Entertain them,
or something.
700
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,800
Andre,
it's Sybil Fawlty.
701
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,870
Well, I'm afraid
it got trodden on.
702
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,598
Sorry, so wrong.
I try again.
703
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:35,880
Andre!
Where is it?
704
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,040
Don't worry.
It's all under control.
705
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,240
- Isn't it beautiful?
- Fantastic.
706
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,240
Okay.
707
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,240
- Wait a minute!
- What?
708
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,360
You must have both...
709
00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,240
- More sauces
- I don't need...
710
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:45,880
Sorry, I don't
need them.
711
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:47,640
That's all right.
712
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,631
You're all right?
713
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,393
Come on!
714
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,595
Ol�!
715
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,600
I'm just a girl who can't say no
716
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,160
I'm in a terrible fix...
717
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:30,954
Come...
718
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,310
Come on!
719
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:47,880
Start!
720
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,640
Start,
you vicious bastard!
721
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:52,440
Come on!
722
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,040
Oh, my God!
723
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,271
I'm warning you!
If you don't start...
724
00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,880
I'll count to three.
725
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:02,920
One... two...
726
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:04,080
three... right!
727
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,080
That's it!
728
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:06,240
I've had enough!
729
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,880
You stalled just once
too often!
730
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:12,000
Right! Well, don't say
I haven't warned you!
731
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,320
I've laid it
on the line to you
732
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,080
time and time again!
733
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,040
Right! Well,
this is it!
734
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,873
I'm gonna give you
a damn good thrashing!
735
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,800
...can't be prissy
and quaint
736
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,200
How can I be
what I ain't?
737
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,240
I can't say
738
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,231
no-oo...
739
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:45,840
Is wonderful!
Hey-hey!
740
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,831
- Very... very good.
- Thank you.
741
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,240
Any sign of the duck?
742
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,231
Oh, it's just coming.
743
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,073
So, Uncle ted comes in
with his crate of brown ale...
744
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:09,840
...and mother says,
745
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,840
"Oh, Ted,
look who's here."
746
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,239
And he says...
747
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,120
- Okay, Polly!
- Okay!
748
00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:17,360
- Got the sauces?
- Got them.
749
00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:18,349
Right!
750
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:20,880
Ah.
751
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,871
Ladies and gentlemen...
752
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:26,351
so sorry to have
kept you waiting.
753
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,720
Well, uh...
754
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:54,880
who's for trifle?
755
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:56,280
What?!
756
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,032
Trifle for you,
Mrs. Hall?
757
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:02,112
What about
the duck, Fawlty?
758
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,197
Duck's off, sorry.
0
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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