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1
00:00:25,142 --> 00:00:27,309
Dude, I have always wanted to do this...
2
00:00:27,311 --> 00:00:29,440
"Heart and Soul" in
Washington Square Park.
3
00:00:29,550 --> 00:00:30,778
Speaking of hearts and souls,
4
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,914
you know the Triangle Shirtwaist
Factory over there?
5
00:00:32,916 --> 00:00:35,450
Okay. 1911, 146 immigrants...
6
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:36,852
mostly women, of course...
7
00:00:36,854 --> 00:00:38,887
were working in a factory inside.
8
00:00:38,889 --> 00:00:40,455
A fire began.
9
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,590
They were trapped. They were locked in!
10
00:00:42,592 --> 00:00:44,759
If they weren't incinerated alive,
11
00:00:44,761 --> 00:00:48,663
they jumped out the windows,
plummeting to their deaths.
12
00:00:48,665 --> 00:00:50,698
Sucks.
13
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:52,700
Okay, cool. What's next on the list?
14
00:00:52,702 --> 00:00:55,703
Whoo! Yeah.
15
00:00:55,705 --> 00:00:58,806
Where to next? Let's go!
16
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,842
Cool.
17
00:01:05,348 --> 00:01:07,214
What an exquisite park.
18
00:01:07,216 --> 00:01:09,316
It really is.
19
00:01:09,318 --> 00:01:11,151
Made only more exquisite
if the Central Park 5
20
00:01:11,153 --> 00:01:13,721
hadn't been wrongfully accused
of rape and thrown in jail
21
00:01:13,723 --> 00:01:15,623
for their entire young adult lives,
22
00:01:15,625 --> 00:01:18,426
for no other reason than
being black and brown boys.
23
00:01:18,428 --> 00:01:22,263
Ugh, the '80s, when wrongful
conviction was still a novelty.
24
00:01:22,265 --> 00:01:25,199
L.O. fully L!
25
00:01:25,201 --> 00:01:27,201
Come on.
26
00:01:27,203 --> 00:01:28,936
Okay. Yikes.
27
00:01:28,938 --> 00:01:30,538
Well, well, well.
28
00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:32,673
14 West 10th Street.
29
00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:35,420
Oh, my God, dude. Mark Twain lived here!
30
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,578
I've read, um, like,
a bunch of his stuff.
31
00:01:38,580 --> 00:01:39,880
It's an historic landmark.
32
00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:41,882
It's also known as
the "House of Horrors"
33
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:44,612
'cause in 1987,
this lawyer Joel Steinberg
34
00:01:44,623 --> 00:01:45,919
and his girlfriend, Hedda Nussbaum,
35
00:01:45,921 --> 00:01:49,222
adopted a girl and beat her into a coma
36
00:01:49,224 --> 00:01:53,590
and blamed it on freebasing
too much coke. Yeah, right.
37
00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:56,195
And get this...
They both roam free today!
38
00:01:56,197 --> 00:01:59,650
Steinberg lives in Harlem,
with a garden!
39
00:01:59,670 --> 00:02:02,268
A garden! The fucking nerve!
40
00:02:02,270 --> 00:02:04,938
♪ New York, New York,
it's a helluva town ♪
41
00:02:04,940 --> 00:02:06,239
Right?
42
00:02:06,241 --> 00:02:08,508
C'mon, we got a ferry to catch.
43
00:02:14,281 --> 00:02:16,849
Man, I'm really gonna miss that skyline.
44
00:02:16,851 --> 00:02:18,951
Takes my breath away, you know?
45
00:02:18,953 --> 00:02:20,853
It's nuts that the whole damn thing
46
00:02:20,855 --> 00:02:24,189
is really just one giant burial ground.
47
00:02:24,191 --> 00:02:27,125
It's like beauty-beauty-beauty,
bodies-bodies-bodies!
48
00:02:27,127 --> 00:02:28,561
Yeah.
49
00:02:28,563 --> 00:02:32,970
Swindled from the Native
Americans for just $24.
50
00:02:32,990 --> 00:02:33,466
Same price as this breakfast.
51
00:02:33,468 --> 00:02:34,767
Oof!
52
00:02:34,769 --> 00:02:36,469
- Only in New York!
- Only in New York!
53
00:02:41,353 --> 00:02:44,311
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
54
00:02:48,181 --> 00:02:49,413
- Hey!
- Hey!
55
00:02:54,454 --> 00:02:56,120
Yeah, so, this is nuts, right?
56
00:02:56,122 --> 00:02:59,757
I mean, it's finally
starting to sink in.
57
00:03:02,295 --> 00:03:03,461
One week left, dude.
58
00:03:03,463 --> 00:03:06,330
Yeah. One week left.
59
00:03:06,332 --> 00:03:08,162
Wow.
60
00:03:09,102 --> 00:03:11,200
God, Ilana, your nose is bleeding, dude!
61
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,871
Oh, my God. I didn't even feel it.
62
00:03:12,873 --> 00:03:14,405
- Are you okay?
- Whoo!
63
00:03:14,407 --> 00:03:15,906
Oh, yeah. No, I'm fine. I'm good.
64
00:03:15,908 --> 00:03:17,141
- You sure?
- Yeah, yeah.
65
00:03:17,143 --> 00:03:19,743
Okay, let's sell. Your. Shit!
66
00:03:19,745 --> 00:03:21,812
It's not like a dorm-dorm,
it's a like a building
67
00:03:21,814 --> 00:03:25,182
for grad students and...
Artists in Residence.
68
00:03:25,184 --> 00:03:26,250
- Take a break?
- Yeah.
69
00:03:26,252 --> 00:03:28,252
- Legs.
- Legs, legs, legs!
70
00:03:28,254 --> 00:03:30,254
Legs, aah.
71
00:03:30,256 --> 00:03:32,823
Okay. Since we only have one week left,
72
00:03:32,825 --> 00:03:35,759
I have planned a surprise!
73
00:03:35,761 --> 00:03:38,462
Okay, please tell me
it's not tickets to the musical
74
00:03:38,464 --> 00:03:41,198
- about Jimmy Fallon's childhood!
- "Born to Giggle?"
75
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,766
No, Ilana.
76
00:03:42,768 --> 00:03:45,906
We are going to see...
77
00:03:46,872 --> 00:03:48,104
Lil Wayne.
78
00:03:52,511 --> 00:03:55,145
Yasssss!
79
00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:56,813
Oh, my God!
80
00:03:56,815 --> 00:03:59,449
What a sweet, goddess-like gesture.
81
00:03:59,451 --> 00:04:01,618
Thank you, girl!
82
00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:03,386
You been taking supplements?
83
00:04:03,388 --> 00:04:04,788
No, why do you ask?
84
00:04:04,790 --> 00:04:06,657
So, Ilana, one more thing.
85
00:04:06,659 --> 00:04:09,826
This is big and kinda scary but so fun.
86
00:04:09,828 --> 00:04:12,563
Okay, so, I'm bring a friend
with us tonight.
87
00:04:12,565 --> 00:04:15,637
And her name is... Molly.
88
00:04:16,568 --> 00:04:18,834
- Okay, break?
- Okay.
89
00:04:18,836 --> 00:04:20,402
- Legs, legs.
- Legs, legs, legs.
90
00:04:20,404 --> 00:04:23,407
I just have been under the impression
91
00:04:23,418 --> 00:04:25,875
that we were gonna wait
until we were in separate states
92
00:04:25,877 --> 00:04:27,209
to make new friends.
93
00:04:27,211 --> 00:04:29,712
No, dude... Molly, like MDMA.
94
00:04:29,714 --> 00:04:31,480
Who are you, Molly dang Cyrus?
95
00:04:31,482 --> 00:04:33,820
- I've never done Molly!
- No, I know,
96
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,551
and I've only done it the one
time where I stole the van.
97
00:04:35,553 --> 00:04:39,421
One week before you move
1,972 miles away,
98
00:04:39,423 --> 00:04:41,570
I finally get to meet Perfect Abbi.
99
00:04:42,226 --> 00:04:43,793
You must've looked that up, huh?
100
00:04:45,463 --> 00:04:47,290
- Legs. Legs.
- Oh, legs.
101
00:04:47,310 --> 00:04:48,263
Legs.
102
00:04:51,835 --> 00:04:53,668
- Got it? Right over there.
- Yeah.
103
00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:55,700
Wait, cool.
104
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:56,405
- Legs. Legs.
- Legs.
105
00:04:56,407 --> 00:04:57,772
- Legs!
- Legs!
106
00:04:57,774 --> 00:05:00,109
Damn, we carried that, yes!
107
00:05:00,111 --> 00:05:01,710
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
108
00:05:01,712 --> 00:05:04,179
That's not trash! You can't take it!
109
00:05:04,181 --> 00:05:06,582
I will not be bullied!
110
00:05:06,584 --> 00:05:08,283
It's Trash Day.
111
00:05:08,285 --> 00:05:10,452
Can you believe he thought
this was trash?
112
00:05:10,454 --> 00:05:11,587
What?
113
00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:17,892
Okay, the tickets for tonight
were a little bit expensey,
114
00:05:17,894 --> 00:05:20,428
- so we gotta sell. Yeah.
- Yes.
115
00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:23,730
Well, this couch is gonna be
an easy sell. Look at her.
116
00:05:23,597 --> 00:05:26,967
But, dahm, Danielle, we have some
freaking memories on this thing.
117
00:05:26,969 --> 00:05:28,469
Yeah.
118
00:05:28,471 --> 00:05:30,171
First time we split
those two whole pizzas.
119
00:05:30,173 --> 00:05:32,140
Oh, my God. And the hurricane!
120
00:05:32,142 --> 00:05:34,908
That time I made out with Bevers... ly.
121
00:05:34,910 --> 00:05:36,277
- What?
- Beversly.
122
00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,780
Do you know Beversly?
Ohh, she's, like, weird
123
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,405
and, like, quirky,
- and, um, queer and fluid,
124
00:05:40,416 --> 00:05:42,490
and, um, you know,
just like, mixed race,
125
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:43,751
and, um, I saw her on the street,
126
00:05:43,753 --> 00:05:45,520
and I brought her back up and
made out with her on the couch.
127
00:05:45,522 --> 00:05:47,488
- Beversly. Hmm.
- Well...
128
00:05:47,490 --> 00:05:50,758
Um, I know that we just, um,
carried the couch
129
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,393
- down three flights of stairs.
- Yeah?
130
00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:55,662
But, um, I kinda wanna keep it
131
00:05:55,664 --> 00:05:57,730
now that we're looking at it
and talking about it.
132
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,332
Ilana, you should keep it, dude.
133
00:05:59,334 --> 00:06:01,635
- That would make me feel better.
- It would help.
134
00:06:01,637 --> 00:06:03,403
Okay. So, we'll just
leave it here for now,
135
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:06,306
and we'll figure out how to get it
back to your place before the concert.
136
00:06:06,308 --> 00:06:08,475
That'll be a problem for "later us."
137
00:06:08,477 --> 00:06:10,544
Yeah, "they'll" figure it out.
138
00:06:14,316 --> 00:06:18,552
Sir, this is pre-fall 2010 CB2
139
00:06:18,554 --> 00:06:21,921
Resort collection?
140
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,390
Have a nice day.
141
00:06:27,862 --> 00:06:31,864
Damn, you are seriously good at this!
142
00:06:31,866 --> 00:06:33,432
We were just, uh,
143
00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:36,200
carrying the couch down
three flights of stairs.
144
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,470
And I was thinking, imagine
if these cushions could talk.
145
00:06:38,472 --> 00:06:41,808
They would talk about, uh, lost coins
146
00:06:41,810 --> 00:06:44,844
or, um, hot farts,
147
00:06:44,846 --> 00:06:48,681
or people who've unexpectedly made out
148
00:06:48,683 --> 00:06:50,783
after one of them
- opened up his relationship.
149
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:53,485
I thought we weren't supposed
to talk about that.
150
00:06:56,191 --> 00:06:58,457
- Shut up! Shut up!
- Shut up! Shut up about that!
151
00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:01,794
Nobody know dat!
152
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:04,763
Hey, hey, hey. What are
you guys giggling about?
153
00:07:04,765 --> 00:07:07,199
- Nothing.
- Nothing!
154
00:07:07,201 --> 00:07:08,667
- No.
- What?
155
00:07:08,669 --> 00:07:10,536
No! The couch!
156
00:07:10,538 --> 00:07:12,371
No-o-o-o!
157
00:07:16,910 --> 00:07:18,644
Shit! What do I do?
158
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,346
I know a cut-through! Come on.
159
00:07:23,817 --> 00:07:25,684
Yes.
160
00:07:31,191 --> 00:07:32,458
Come on.
161
00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:38,329
Got it. We got it.
162
00:07:38,331 --> 00:07:40,365
Gotta go. Yeah?
163
00:07:46,336 --> 00:07:47,784
What the fuck are we doing?
164
00:07:47,795 --> 00:07:48,893
I have no idea, dude!
165
00:07:48,904 --> 00:07:50,305
Okay, dude. What about this, um,
166
00:07:50,307 --> 00:07:52,575
scooper, compressor, crusher thing?
167
00:07:52,577 --> 00:07:54,477
- The couch is gonna be killed!
- No, no.
168
00:07:54,479 --> 00:07:56,946
The compactor only works
when the truck is static.
169
00:07:56,948 --> 00:07:58,747
The dudes'll have to come out
to grab cans,
170
00:07:58,749 --> 00:08:00,182
and we'll contact with them then!
171
00:08:00,184 --> 00:08:03,118
Are you, like,
- "in your element" up here?
172
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:06,488
There was a moment in time where
trash was very comforting to me.
173
00:08:06,490 --> 00:08:08,390
Well, I'm glad you're comfortable.
174
00:08:08,392 --> 00:08:10,920
We'll just wait here until it stops,
175
00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:12,894
and then we are on our way
to see Lil Wayne!
176
00:08:12,896 --> 00:08:14,162
Whoo!
177
00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:19,167
Okay, it should stop soon, right?
178
00:08:19,169 --> 00:08:20,929
That's what garbage trucks do,
179
00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:22,473
They stop every half a block
and hold up traffic,
180
00:08:22,475 --> 00:08:24,485
and then you're stuck
in a cab on 10th street,
181
00:08:24,496 --> 00:08:27,310
you end up peeing in a Slurpee
cup and paying double the fare.
182
00:08:28,533 --> 00:08:30,766
Some... Sometimes. Some people do.
183
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:33,345
Actually, the stops are
totally dependent on districts.
184
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:34,745
It's all zoned out by zip codes.
185
00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:36,714
It's like... It's pretty organized.
186
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:39,490
- It's pretty awesome.
- Are you a Garbage Pail Kid?
187
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:40,718
- Tell me.
- Or... Or I'm not sure.
188
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:41,852
I'm not sure.
189
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:46,457
Wait, hold on.
190
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:48,125
What?
191
00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:50,600
That is insane. What do you mean,
192
00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:52,830
Corn Flakes were meant
to curb masturbation?
193
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:55,833
I mean exactly what I said, Ms. Abrams.
194
00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:58,703
Dr. Kellogg's
- of the Kellogg's Cereal Empire
195
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:02,406
was a bizarre white man
who was aggressively anti-sex
196
00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:05,750
and feared that bold flavors
would make people horny.
197
00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:07,774
So he invented Corn Flakes to
stop people from getting it on.
198
00:09:07,785 --> 00:09:10,460
I always wanted Frosted
Mini-Wheats, so I steered clear.
199
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,982
Ding ding, dawg... That's
fucking Kellogg's!
200
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:16,919
Oh, my God. The truck stopped!
201
00:09:16,921 --> 00:09:18,988
I literally forgot we were on it.
202
00:09:18,990 --> 00:09:20,857
Go, go, go.
203
00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:22,910
We'll get it out really quick.
204
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:23,293
Come on.
205
00:09:23,295 --> 00:09:25,962
Ugh, this is too heavy.
206
00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:27,964
The fuck do you think you're doing?
207
00:09:27,966 --> 00:09:29,866
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
208
00:09:29,868 --> 00:09:31,368
Hello, gentlemen.
209
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:32,969
- Um...
- This is actually my couch.
210
00:09:32,971 --> 00:09:35,739
And we are just taking it...
taking it back.
211
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,541
Once we collect the trash,
it's city property.
212
00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:41,110
But, um,
213
00:09:41,112 --> 00:09:43,345
it's just that, um,
214
00:09:43,347 --> 00:09:45,547
I just wanted to keep it.
215
00:09:45,549 --> 00:09:48,490
'Cause, uh, Abbi's moving next week
216
00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:51,119
and we're best friends!
217
00:09:51,121 --> 00:09:52,488
- She's mine!
- Oh, my God. Ilana.
218
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:54,890
Oh, my God. Your nose again, dude.
219
00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:56,425
- You okay?
- What is this, dude?
220
00:09:56,427 --> 00:09:58,394
What is this?
221
00:09:58,396 --> 00:10:01,229
I don't know what I'd do
if Ike moved away.
222
00:10:01,231 --> 00:10:04,990
We've been on this route
together for 15 years.
223
00:10:04,101 --> 00:10:07,703
15 years of wives and kids
and Little League games.
224
00:10:07,705 --> 00:10:10,839
Mistresses, union scabs.
225
00:10:10,841 --> 00:10:12,608
Gettin' made.
226
00:10:15,513 --> 00:10:17,279
- Come on, Abe.
- All right, you know what?
227
00:10:17,281 --> 00:10:18,479
- Take the couch.
- Really?
228
00:10:18,481 --> 00:10:19,915
- Yeah, take the couch!
- Guys!
229
00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:20,982
Oh, my God!
230
00:10:20,984 --> 00:10:22,417
Thank you so much.
231
00:10:22,419 --> 00:10:24,186
You are so sweet!
232
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:25,453
- Wow.
- Yeah.
233
00:10:25,455 --> 00:10:26,521
- Incredible strength.
- Wow.
234
00:10:26,523 --> 00:10:27,833
Thank you guys so much.
235
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,490
- Saved our lives.
- All right. Bye, ladies.
236
00:10:29,492 --> 00:10:30,992
- Bye, ladies.
- Bye, ladies.
237
00:10:32,662 --> 00:10:36,531
Oh, my God. Ilana, fuck, dude,
the concert starts so soon!
238
00:10:36,533 --> 00:10:38,800
What are we gonna do?
239
00:10:38,802 --> 00:10:41,970
I would've loved to rinse off
before we went to the show,
240
00:10:41,972 --> 00:10:46,942
but I know that Wayne
likes a stinky pussy.
241
00:10:46,944 --> 00:10:49,677
Yeah. Uh, that... It's... That's great.
242
00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:51,546
- You mean, the couch.
- I meant for the couch.
243
00:10:51,548 --> 00:10:54,114
Oh, I have no fucking idea.
244
00:10:54,116 --> 00:10:56,150
Okay. Okay.
245
00:10:56,152 --> 00:10:57,952
I mean,
246
00:10:57,954 --> 00:11:02,323
is there a world...
247
00:11:02,325 --> 00:11:05,860
in which...
248
00:11:05,862 --> 00:11:10,297
we take the sofa...
249
00:11:10,299 --> 00:11:12,132
to...
250
00:11:12,134 --> 00:11:14,464
the concert?
251
00:12:15,564 --> 00:12:18,970
Okay.
252
00:12:18,990 --> 00:12:19,833
Back. Get around this.
253
00:12:19,835 --> 00:12:21,902
Okay, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs!
254
00:12:24,873 --> 00:12:26,973
- Damn.
- Okay. So we'll just, like,
255
00:12:26,975 --> 00:12:29,443
leave it here, go to the show,
and bring it home after?
256
00:12:29,445 --> 00:12:31,177
No. I know what to do.
257
00:12:46,794 --> 00:12:48,994
Okay, my friend.
258
00:12:48,996 --> 00:12:51,897
Meet my other
259
00:12:51,899 --> 00:12:53,833
whacky little friend, Molly.
260
00:12:53,835 --> 00:12:57,570
It's really nice to meet you, Molly.
I've heard a lot about ya.
261
00:12:57,572 --> 00:12:59,400
Here we go.
262
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:00,639
Whatever this is gonna be.
263
00:13:05,112 --> 00:13:06,946
Whoo!
264
00:13:08,648 --> 00:13:11,516
How's it going?
265
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,589
These are invalid. You
girls gotta move along.
266
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,158
Wait, wait, wait. I got them on
Craigslist. So just, like...
267
00:13:20,169 --> 00:13:22,527
Did you just say Craigslist?
268
00:13:22,529 --> 00:13:24,228
Girls ain't never heard of StubHub?
269
00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:25,930
These are for sure fake.
270
00:13:25,932 --> 00:13:27,298
Get out of my line.
271
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:28,552
Go.
272
00:13:29,302 --> 00:13:31,536
And how old are y'all anyway?
273
00:13:31,538 --> 00:13:34,639
I can't tell, 'cause the outfits
aren't matching the faces.
274
00:13:34,641 --> 00:13:35,907
Next?
275
00:13:37,396 --> 00:13:40,230
I'm sorry, dude. I'm a fucking idiot.
276
00:13:40,232 --> 00:13:42,865
No, you are not. Craigslist is
the most legitimate business,
277
00:13:42,867 --> 00:13:44,367
okay? The last time we used it,
278
00:13:44,369 --> 00:13:46,769
we cleaned that dude's apartment
in our underwear.
279
00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:50,506
I see.
280
00:13:52,377 --> 00:13:53,543
Okay, okay, okay.
281
00:13:53,545 --> 00:13:56,679
I bet... No, I know
282
00:13:56,681 --> 00:13:59,316
that we can find
- some silly-ass way in here.
283
00:13:59,318 --> 00:14:00,716
Okay.
284
00:14:00,718 --> 00:14:04,421
Okay, we gotta do this
before the Molly kicks in.
285
00:14:04,423 --> 00:14:05,922
Yeah.
286
00:14:07,859 --> 00:14:09,759
God, I'm feeling something, you know?
287
00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:12,610
It is upon us.
288
00:14:16,867 --> 00:14:18,467
Abbi! Come. Now. Come.
289
00:14:18,469 --> 00:14:20,635
What? What?
290
00:14:20,637 --> 00:14:22,371
Okay. We get up there. If we can,
291
00:14:22,373 --> 00:14:24,373
we crawl inside. We sneak
inside the venue. We're done.
292
00:14:24,375 --> 00:14:26,575
Oh, my God. Dude.
I have a Swiss Army knife.
293
00:14:26,577 --> 00:14:28,100
It can unscrew the screws!
294
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,212
Okay. I know exactly
how we get up there.
295
00:14:30,214 --> 00:14:32,681
You get on my shoulders.
You do the thing.
296
00:14:32,683 --> 00:14:35,451
You pry it open. You crawl inside.
297
00:14:35,453 --> 00:14:37,919
Oh, my gosh. Once I'm inside,
I'll, like, take my clothes off,
298
00:14:37,921 --> 00:14:40,922
and I'll, like, tie 'em
all in a rope, okay, in a knot.
299
00:14:40,924 --> 00:14:42,276
And I'll pull you up.
300
00:14:42,287 --> 00:14:44,326
I'm actually getting hot
anyway, so this works out.
301
00:14:44,328 --> 00:14:47,950
Yas, bitch! This is fully happening!
302
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,210
- We are such a team.
- Incredible.
303
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:50,723
- All right, so...
- Maybe like that, okay?
304
00:14:50,734 --> 00:14:52,534
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, put one arm.
305
00:14:52,536 --> 00:14:54,135
You know, what if we,
like, use the wall...
306
00:14:54,137 --> 00:14:55,971
Yeah, yeah. If my back
pushes up against the wall...
307
00:14:55,973 --> 00:14:57,472
- Against the wall.
- Yeah, yeah.
308
00:14:57,474 --> 00:14:59,400
- And then we'll go...
- Yeah, right this way.
309
00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:01,776
- Ladders!
- Ladders!
310
00:15:01,778 --> 00:15:03,912
Abbi, this is so beautiful!
311
00:15:03,914 --> 00:15:05,213
Dude, you ever think about
312
00:15:05,215 --> 00:15:07,281
how many Lil's there are besides Wayne?
313
00:15:07,283 --> 00:15:09,518
Lil' Kim, Lil' Yachty,
Lil' Dicky, Lil' Dookie,
314
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:13,540
Lil' Rel, Lil' Deval, Lil' Papa,
Lil' Mama, Lil' Uzi Vert...
315
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,725
Wait, wait, wait. Vert,
like a... Like a string bean?
316
00:15:16,727 --> 00:15:18,226
Like a... the legume?
317
00:15:18,228 --> 00:15:20,695
- No, no, no. That's...
- Haricot Vert.
318
00:15:20,697 --> 00:15:22,162
Oh, my God. If I was a rapper,
319
00:15:22,164 --> 00:15:25,265
my name would be
Les Petites Haricot Vert.
320
00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:27,334
Oh, my God! I'd be Lil' Webding!
321
00:15:27,336 --> 00:15:30,170
Oh, my God. I'd be... I'd be
Lil'... Lil Two-ply.
322
00:15:30,172 --> 00:15:31,471
- Lil' Clit Stem.
- Oh, my God.
323
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:34,141
I'd be Lil' Nap Time?
324
00:15:34,143 --> 00:15:35,409
Lil' Mammogram to
advertise the importance
325
00:15:35,411 --> 00:15:36,577
- of getting mammograms.
- Oh!
326
00:15:36,579 --> 00:15:37,811
Okay, dude, should we go down here?
327
00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:38,979
Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe let's try.
328
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:53,493
Oh, my God. Dude.
329
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,620
The "litter" stayed light!
330
00:15:57,166 --> 00:15:58,464
The litter stayed light.
331
00:15:58,466 --> 00:15:59,766
Oh, my God.
332
00:15:59,768 --> 00:16:01,968
Oh, my God. Whispering is so dope.
333
00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:03,603
- I forgot.
- Yes.
334
00:16:04,973 --> 00:16:07,473
Oh, my God. Do you hear him?
335
00:16:07,475 --> 00:16:09,876
I forgot we were at a Lil Wayne concert!
336
00:16:09,878 --> 00:16:12,211
Me, too! Oh, my goodness.
337
00:16:12,213 --> 00:16:14,213
But, like,
338
00:16:14,215 --> 00:16:16,150
he... he sounds different, right?
339
00:16:16,170 --> 00:16:17,984
Yeah. Yeah, it's like, I love
340
00:16:17,986 --> 00:16:20,787
how I don't necessarily love it,
you know what I mean?
341
00:16:20,789 --> 00:16:23,355
But I'm an unconditional
ride-or-die for him,
342
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:25,524
and I'm grateful for what
we went through to get here!
343
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,326
Me, too. Me, too.
344
00:16:27,328 --> 00:16:29,295
Oh, my God. Dude. Oh, my goodness.
345
00:16:29,297 --> 00:16:32,364
- No! What?! Please!
- I have such a good idea.
346
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:35,330
Dude, gotta try to reposition.
347
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,805
- Okay.
- Yeah, okay.
348
00:16:39,807 --> 00:16:41,586
It's sounds... It's
sounds like we're, like,
349
00:16:41,597 --> 00:16:43,375
right above the audience, right? Right.
350
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:46,780
- Okay. What if we dropped down?
- No.
351
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,514
Dude, what if we dropped down?
There's gotta be, like, a door down.
352
00:16:48,516 --> 00:16:50,349
We drop down onto the audience.
353
00:16:50,351 --> 00:16:52,751
- Dude, or...
- Break some skulls, dude!
354
00:16:52,753 --> 00:16:55,870
Or the stage.
355
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,557
Like, we drop down onto the stage,
and we're, like, part of it.
356
00:16:58,559 --> 00:16:59,725
Okay, yes.
357
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,260
- Right.
- Fully fucking yes.
358
00:17:01,262 --> 00:17:02,894
- Yeah.
- Or...
359
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:05,397
we could go back
360
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:08,234
to the alley that we were hanging at,
361
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:09,934
and just not be inside a vent?
362
00:17:09,936 --> 00:17:11,202
Yeah. Yeah.
363
00:17:13,140 --> 00:17:15,440
We got our own Lil' Weezy concert
364
00:17:15,442 --> 00:17:19,410
right... here.
365
00:17:19,412 --> 00:17:21,279
Yes, dude!
366
00:17:26,719 --> 00:17:28,186
Dude, can I tell you something?
367
00:17:28,188 --> 00:17:31,556
Anything.
- You can tell me anything, dude.
368
00:17:31,558 --> 00:17:33,626
I don't know if I know
who I am without you.
369
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:35,793
I don't have the same sense
of self I thought I did.
370
00:17:35,795 --> 00:17:37,595
Dude, I am terrified.
371
00:17:37,597 --> 00:17:40,965
I'm like, "Do I even, like,
know how to make new friends?"
372
00:17:40,967 --> 00:17:44,680
I'm like do I like people, even?
I don't even know, you know?
373
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:46,436
Well, see, that's my damn problem, dawg.
374
00:17:46,438 --> 00:17:49,707
I worry in retrospect that
I've been co-opting your time
375
00:17:49,709 --> 00:17:50,941
and keeping you from growing,
376
00:17:50,943 --> 00:17:52,372
- you know what I mean?
- No, dude.
377
00:17:52,383 --> 00:17:55,790
I feel like I've been relying
on you for like, my confidence.
378
00:17:55,810 --> 00:17:57,247
Like, I didn't even know my ass was dope
379
00:17:57,249 --> 00:17:59,283
until you taught me it was. It's like,
380
00:17:59,285 --> 00:18:01,786
you don't just, like, keep
bringing people fish, you know?
381
00:18:01,788 --> 00:18:03,320
You teach them how to use their ass.
382
00:18:03,322 --> 00:18:04,822
And then they never go hungry,
383
00:18:04,824 --> 00:18:06,223
you know what I mean?
They never go hungry.
384
00:18:06,225 --> 00:18:08,392
Oof, dat... ass, though.
385
00:18:08,394 --> 00:18:10,161
Damn, girl!
386
00:18:10,163 --> 00:18:11,929
Shit, bitch! You know, like,
387
00:18:11,931 --> 00:18:14,364
I need to make, like, meaning of my own,
388
00:18:14,366 --> 00:18:16,233
you know, as an individual,
rather than peg...
389
00:18:16,235 --> 00:18:18,680
- LOL... Remember Jeremy?
- Yes!
390
00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:19,869
Everything on the entity that is us.
391
00:18:19,871 --> 00:18:22,752
I wanna be, like, in
a relationship like we have,
392
00:18:22,763 --> 00:18:24,595
but someone who I have
sex with, you know,
393
00:18:24,634 --> 00:18:26,310
and, like, I cuddle with and shit.
394
00:18:26,312 --> 00:18:28,645
Tell me about it!
You know, I realize now
395
00:18:28,647 --> 00:18:30,714
that I didn't give Lincoln
really a full, true,
396
00:18:30,716 --> 00:18:33,950
and real shot 'cause
I always made you my priority.
397
00:18:33,952 --> 00:18:35,819
And you know what? Now
that I think about it,
398
00:18:35,821 --> 00:18:37,348
these nosebleeds that I keep getting,
399
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:38,800
it's every time I think of us apart,
400
00:18:38,811 --> 00:18:40,691
so it's really like
a psychosomatic response
401
00:18:40,693 --> 00:18:42,459
to our crippling co-dependency.
402
00:18:44,430 --> 00:18:45,629
I mean, maybe. I don't know.
403
00:18:45,631 --> 00:18:48,332
Dude! Oh, my God. Dude.
404
00:18:48,334 --> 00:18:50,434
We are co-dependent!
405
00:18:50,436 --> 00:18:53,870
We, you, me, we're Lil' Codies, dude!
406
00:18:53,872 --> 00:18:56,206
That's our DJ name.
407
00:18:56,208 --> 00:18:57,741
Oh, my God. Dude.
408
00:18:57,743 --> 00:18:59,508
Yas, Cody! Go, Cody!
409
00:19:01,379 --> 00:19:04,470
You know, and this space
is gonna give us the chance
410
00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:06,282
to be our better, bolder selves.
411
00:19:06,284 --> 00:19:08,517
Boulder!
412
00:19:08,519 --> 00:19:11,287
- Oh! Boulder!
- Boulder!
413
00:19:21,432 --> 00:19:24,467
It sucks.
414
00:19:24,469 --> 00:19:27,670
But also, it doesn't.
415
00:19:27,672 --> 00:19:29,405
It's gonna be great.
416
00:19:31,876 --> 00:19:34,410
Yeah, dude. It's gonna be great.
417
00:19:34,412 --> 00:19:38,213
It's gonna be, like, so good.
We're gonna make it work so well.
418
00:19:38,215 --> 00:19:40,716
It's gonna be really, really good.
419
00:19:50,295 --> 00:19:52,161
- ♪ We sche-e-eme ♪
- ♪ We sche-e-eme ♪
420
00:19:52,163 --> 00:19:54,620
- ♪ We sche-eme, we sche-eme ♪
- ♪ We scheme ♪
421
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,765
- ♪ We sche-e-eme ♪
- ♪ We sche-e-eme ♪ Hey!
422
00:19:55,767 --> 00:19:58,668
♪ - We scheme. We scheme ♪
♪ - We scheme ♪
423
00:19:58,670 --> 00:20:01,202
♪ We sche-e-eme ♪ Yow!
424
00:20:01,204 --> 00:20:02,437
Couch!
425
00:20:02,439 --> 00:20:03,605
The couch!
426
00:20:05,742 --> 00:20:07,842
Oh, my God. Dude. I forgot the couch.
427
00:20:07,844 --> 00:20:09,611
I can't believe you're not gonna get it.
428
00:20:13,684 --> 00:20:15,249
We forgot the fucking couch?
429
00:20:15,251 --> 00:20:17,218
Stupid! Stupid!
430
00:20:17,220 --> 00:20:19,321
- What's wrong with us?
- No, no, no, no.
431
00:20:19,323 --> 00:20:20,855
It's okay! It is.
432
00:20:20,857 --> 00:20:23,291
It seriously is okay,
because you know what?
433
00:20:23,293 --> 00:20:25,566
I just had to talk that shit out, truly.
434
00:20:25,577 --> 00:20:27,758
And the fact that I can I can
let it go is a positive.
435
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:30,898
Positivissimo. Yaas!
436
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:32,600
Okay, cool. I feel good
that you feel good.
437
00:20:32,602 --> 00:20:36,237
And I feel...
438
00:20:36,239 --> 00:20:37,438
Like, okay.
439
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,540
- Can I ask you something?
- Yeah.
440
00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:41,876
Do you feel, like,
a little weird, like, mm,
441
00:20:41,878 --> 00:20:44,110
shitty, perhaps?
442
00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:46,130
- I am starting to not feel well.
- Mm.
443
00:20:46,150 --> 00:20:48,615
Like, my whole body
is starting to feel weird.
444
00:20:48,617 --> 00:20:50,985
The come-down can be a little...
445
00:20:50,987 --> 00:20:52,820
tricky.
446
00:20:52,822 --> 00:20:54,121
This is not good.
447
00:20:54,123 --> 00:20:56,257
This is not good. Do you have juice?
448
00:20:56,259 --> 00:20:57,591
No, I don't have any juice.
449
00:20:57,593 --> 00:20:59,126
Do you have bread? Do you have bread?
450
00:20:59,128 --> 00:21:01,295
I don't keep bread in the house.
I'm not crazy.
451
00:21:01,297 --> 00:21:03,970
I'm a fucking idiot!
452
00:21:03,990 --> 00:21:04,332
Shit!
453
00:21:04,334 --> 00:21:07,235
Oh, I don't feel good.
454
00:21:07,237 --> 00:21:09,236
Shit.
455
00:21:17,780 --> 00:21:19,546
- Did you puke?
- Yeah, I did, dude.
456
00:21:19,548 --> 00:21:20,647
- You puked.
- Ilana,
457
00:21:20,649 --> 00:21:21,982
I'm telling you, I puked, man!
458
00:21:21,984 --> 00:21:23,984
I hate puking!
459
00:21:23,986 --> 00:21:25,318
- No, no, no, no.
- Yes.
460
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:26,920
No, no, no! Don't clean it.
461
00:21:26,922 --> 00:21:28,822
You gotta get the deposit back!
462
00:21:30,659 --> 00:21:32,860
- Shit!
- No!
463
00:21:32,862 --> 00:21:35,161
- Okay.
- Okay.
464
00:21:35,163 --> 00:21:37,698
Dude, I know what to do.
I know what to do.
465
00:21:37,700 --> 00:21:39,500
I feel bad. This is not good!
466
00:21:40,802 --> 00:21:42,668
I know, dude. I got it.
467
00:21:42,670 --> 00:21:46,305
No, I got it. Okay.
468
00:21:49,511 --> 00:21:51,243
- Oh, no.
- Where'd you get this Molly from?
469
00:21:51,245 --> 00:21:53,212
Oh, my God. It's so cold.
470
00:21:53,214 --> 00:21:54,814
Where'd you get it, man?
471
00:21:54,816 --> 00:21:56,716
The Molly, where'd you get it?
472
00:22:00,210 --> 00:22:02,210
I got it on Craigslist.
473
00:22:02,230 --> 00:22:03,890
No, dude, I'm sorry.
474
00:22:03,892 --> 00:22:07,326
I thought it was still, like,
a good thing to use for stuff.
475
00:22:13,468 --> 00:22:14,700
It'll be over soon.
476
00:22:14,702 --> 00:22:16,670
Yeah.
477
00:22:16,690 --> 00:22:18,737
In like six more hours.
478
00:22:28,225 --> 00:22:30,715
It's okay, girlies.
479
00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:34,586
- Yes.
- Ohh.
480
00:22:34,588 --> 00:22:37,210
- We're gonna be okay.
- Yeah.
481
00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:38,560
We're gonna be okay.
482
00:22:38,580 --> 00:22:39,157
Yikes!
483
00:22:46,993 --> 00:22:49,940
Oh, my God.
484
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,363
Dude, I'm too old
485
00:22:52,365 --> 00:22:53,898
for this shit.
486
00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:55,500
You're 30.
487
00:22:55,502 --> 00:22:57,135
I'm 27. What's wrong with me?
488
00:22:57,137 --> 00:23:00,904
Well, what twister blew into town
489
00:23:00,906 --> 00:23:04,108
and spit out you two tumbleweeds?
490
00:23:04,110 --> 00:23:05,476
- Jesus.
- Stop, you're killing me.
491
00:23:05,478 --> 00:23:07,430
Be quiet.
492
00:23:07,450 --> 00:23:09,346
- Abbi.
- Bevers.
493
00:23:14,253 --> 00:23:15,919
Oh, Abbi.
494
00:23:15,921 --> 00:23:17,887
Okay, what are you doing? Please stop.
495
00:23:17,889 --> 00:23:20,560
Ew, why are you doing this?
496
00:23:20,580 --> 00:23:21,458
Bevers. Stop.
497
00:23:23,829 --> 00:23:24,894
- Oh, my God.
- Bevers?
498
00:23:24,896 --> 00:23:27,664
Wait, is this from the stoop sale?
499
00:23:27,666 --> 00:23:29,399
Holy shit, dude!
500
00:23:29,401 --> 00:23:32,836
I sold every last bit of furniture,
501
00:23:32,838 --> 00:23:36,740
and I up-sold most of it...
Bevers-style.
502
00:23:36,742 --> 00:23:38,541
Bevers, that's...
503
00:23:38,543 --> 00:23:40,110
really impressive.
504
00:23:40,112 --> 00:23:43,980
And here's my commisshy.
505
00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:47,500
Bevers, thank you so much.
506
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,853
Really, I really appreciate it.
507
00:23:49,855 --> 00:23:52,122
I'm really gonna miss you.
508
00:23:52,124 --> 00:23:56,590
I'm... really gonna miss you, too.
509
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:08,437
Wait, Bevers,
510
00:24:08,439 --> 00:24:11,607
does Melanie even know I'm moving out?
511
00:24:11,609 --> 00:24:13,742
Oh, yeah, she knows.
512
00:24:41,151 --> 00:24:43,721
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
513
00:24:44,296 --> 00:24:46,182
Remember when we made meringues?
514
00:24:46,193 --> 00:24:47,939
And we took care of that
egg, and then it cracked.
515
00:24:47,950 --> 00:24:49,744
That bird we found, that broken bird.
516
00:24:49,746 --> 00:24:51,608
Oh, my God. I hope it's okay.
517
00:24:51,619 --> 00:24:53,548
It's not. You know
what I mean? It's dead.
518
00:24:53,550 --> 00:24:55,830
Yeah. When you did the teeth whitening?
519
00:24:55,850 --> 00:24:57,510
Oh, my God. The first time
I tried a Diva Cup.
520
00:24:57,530 --> 00:24:59,388
That was a little bit
of not my favorite.
34956
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