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(ENGINE REVVING)
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(TRAIN WHISTLE BLASTS)
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*THE GRAND TOUR*
Season 03 Episode 11
Episode Title: "Sea to Unsalty Sea"
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(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
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JEREMY: Thank you so much.
-(WHISTLING)
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They're a rowdy bunch.
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00:01:02,795 --> 00:01:04,567
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you.
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00:01:04,653 --> 00:01:09,670
Hello, and welcome to what
is a Grand Tour mini-special.
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It's all based around here
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00:01:11,555 --> 00:01:14,110
in this rather troubled
part of the world.
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00:01:14,195 --> 00:01:17,630
You've got Syria and Iraq and
Iran, sort of at the bottom.
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00:01:17,715 --> 00:01:19,950
And then at the top
you've got Russia.
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But in-between you have this
sliver of peace and prosperity.
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And that got us thinking.
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00:01:27,386 --> 00:01:30,708
You see, if you live on
the shores of the Black Sea
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00:01:30,794 --> 00:01:33,910
and you're partial to
a bit of fish, you're fine.
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00:01:33,995 --> 00:01:36,710
But...
What if you like bream?
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00:01:36,795 --> 00:01:39,990
-(LAUGHTER)
- You see, bream likes fresh water.
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And the Black Sea is salty.
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The nearest fresh water is all
the way over here in the Caspian.
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00:01:45,036 --> 00:01:48,831
And that is a thousand
kilometres away.
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Yeah, so we were wondering, if you have
to drive all that way for your supper,
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what would be the best car?
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00:01:56,435 --> 00:02:00,590
Obviously, you'd need some
sort of GT, but which one?
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00:02:00,675 --> 00:02:04,910
The new Aston Martin DBS? The
new Bentley Continental GT?
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00:02:04,995 --> 00:02:07,550
Or the newerer BMW 8 Series?
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00:02:07,635 --> 00:02:12,230
Now this is exactly the sort of question
this show was designed to answer.
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00:02:12,315 --> 00:02:13,715
(LAUGHTER)
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00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:17,630
So, this week, we took
The Grand Tour to Batumi,
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00:02:17,715 --> 00:02:21,911
in the former Soviet State
of Georgia.
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00:02:23,835 --> 00:02:25,755
(GULLS CRY)
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00:02:38,051 --> 00:02:41,510
JEREMY: The meeting point was
on the shores of the Black Sea,
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00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:46,070
and naturally enough James
May was the last to arrive.
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00:02:46,155 --> 00:02:50,750
In the new BMW 8 Series.
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God, it doesn't look anything like as good
in the flesh as it did in the pictures.
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00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:58,310
RICHARD: It is disappointing in the metal.
I'm afraid that's the case.
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00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,110
- And brown!
- What?
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00:03:00,195 --> 00:03:02,950
- Brown!
- It's sunburst orange.
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00:03:03,035 --> 00:03:04,990
- Mate, that's a brown car.
- Sunburst orange.
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00:03:05,075 --> 00:03:07,510
JEREMY: It's brown!
JAMES: Orange!
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00:03:07,595 --> 00:03:09,550
- It looks very like a Toyota.
- It doesn't.
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00:03:09,635 --> 00:03:12,518
Is it on delivery wheels - are
they specially for delivering it?
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00:03:12,604 --> 00:03:13,964
- What are you talking about?
- Those little wheels
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00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:15,230
they can move it around on.
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00:03:15,315 --> 00:03:17,270
That's what I mean. They're
not big enough, are they?
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00:03:17,355 --> 00:03:19,470
- Can you have a 22-inch wheel?
- No.
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00:03:19,555 --> 00:03:21,670
- Why not?
- Why would you want a 22-inch wheel?
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- It would spoil the ride.
- It would fill the arches.
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00:03:24,075 --> 00:03:25,710
RICHARD: Yeah.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh!
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00:03:25,795 --> 00:03:28,990
And I suspect...
criminal offence.
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- What?
- Anyone who puts an M badge
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00:03:31,635 --> 00:03:34,510
on a BMW that isn't an M BMW
has to go to prison.
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00:03:34,595 --> 00:03:37,430
So this is one of those
M cars that isn't an M car.
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00:03:37,515 --> 00:03:39,870
- They've done that before.
- No, it's not the M8.
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00:03:39,955 --> 00:03:42,499
- Why does it say M8 on it?
- Because it's the M Sport, in effect.
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00:03:42,585 --> 00:03:44,272
So M Sport just means
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00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:45,405
- not an M, doesn't it?
- Yeah.
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00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:47,830
But it's in-between the M
and the normal cars.
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00:03:47,915 --> 00:03:50,510
That's why you have M Sport
5 Series, for example.
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00:03:50,595 --> 00:03:52,830
This is like Elton John's
Greatest Hits
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00:03:52,915 --> 00:03:55,310
without Your Song
or Tiny Dancer on it.
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00:03:55,395 --> 00:03:58,262
James, I don't want to be
childish about this now...
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00:03:58,348 --> 00:04:01,262
- Do you not? But you're going to.
- I hate your gear lever.
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00:04:01,372 --> 00:04:03,270
- I love it.
- Look at it!
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I think that's fantastic.
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00:04:04,637 --> 00:04:06,419
JEREMY: And the rest...
it's a horrible gear lever
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00:04:06,505 --> 00:04:07,895
in a boring interior.
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00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,590
JAMES: That's contemporary
and tasteful.
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00:04:09,675 --> 00:04:10,910
Let's look at yours.
What have you got?
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00:04:10,995 --> 00:04:12,150
You've got the new Bentley
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00:04:12,235 --> 00:04:14,310
that's the same
as the old Bentley.
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00:04:14,395 --> 00:04:16,481
Apart from being
a completely new car.
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00:04:16,567 --> 00:04:18,879
- Yeah, but it looks the same.
- It doesn't look the same.
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00:04:18,965 --> 00:04:20,778
It's complete... different front end.
Different size.
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00:04:20,864 --> 00:04:22,390
- No, it looks like an Aventador.
- Different back.
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00:04:22,475 --> 00:04:24,830
- No.
- It's a completely new car.
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00:04:24,915 --> 00:04:28,305
This monochrome Union Jack
applied by Germans?
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00:04:28,391 --> 00:04:29,368
Yes?
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00:04:29,475 --> 00:04:30,910
RICHARD: There is
some German involved.
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00:04:30,995 --> 00:04:32,830
- Chassis? German.
- Yeah.
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00:04:32,915 --> 00:04:35,110
- Engine? German?
- Yeah.
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00:04:35,195 --> 00:04:39,270
Oh, no, the Germans have done
all the tech and engineering.
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00:04:39,355 --> 00:04:41,030
That'll... No, wait,
it will be brilliant.
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00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:43,070
-(LAUGHTER)
RICHARD: What?
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00:04:43,155 --> 00:04:47,200
It's a bit... I use the word
advisedly - it's a bit camp.
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JEREMY: It's not camp!
- It is.
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00:04:49,435 --> 00:04:51,192
- What's camp about that?
- It's all pleated and
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00:04:51,278 --> 00:04:52,910
leathery and... Urgh!
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00:04:52,995 --> 00:04:54,590
JEREMY: It does give
good occasion, that.
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00:04:54,675 --> 00:04:56,230
RICHARD:
That is a special event.
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00:04:56,315 --> 00:04:58,550
JAMES: Does Liberace pop up
out of the centre console
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00:04:58,635 --> 00:05:00,550
and play the piano for you?
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00:05:00,635 --> 00:05:03,390
You see, the reason I'm not
having a go at your interior
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00:05:03,475 --> 00:05:07,270
is my Aston has been delivered
with Birmingham spec.
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00:05:07,355 --> 00:05:10,856
JAMES: That's horrible!
- Ooh, that's quite vivid, isn't it?
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00:05:10,950 --> 00:05:15,150
I mean, worryingly for you,
I quite like that interior.
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00:05:15,235 --> 00:05:16,910
JEREMY:
You like that? Exactly.
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00:05:16,995 --> 00:05:19,426
So this is...it's a DB11.
99
00:05:19,575 --> 00:05:22,626
Well, no. It's the DBS.
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00:05:22,845 --> 00:05:23,860
JEREMY: Superleggera.
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00:05:23,946 --> 00:05:25,180
RICHARD: Because it's
very light, isn't it?
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00:05:25,266 --> 00:05:26,830
- Is it?
- That's what superleggera means, yeah?
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It's 72 kilograms lighter
than a DB11.
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00:05:30,915 --> 00:05:32,390
And no more expensive.
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00:05:32,475 --> 00:05:34,110
- It's a bit more expensive.
- How much more expensive?
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00:05:34,195 --> 00:05:36,910
- It's £67,000 more...
- Yes.
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00:05:36,995 --> 00:05:39,641
-...than the DB11.
- How much is it?
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00:05:39,727 --> 00:05:40,742
A lot.
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00:05:40,828 --> 00:05:42,750
Is it something like a
quarter of a million pounds?
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00:05:42,835 --> 00:05:44,270
- No!
- What is it, then?
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00:05:44,355 --> 00:05:47,190
- A little bit less.
-230?
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00:05:47,275 --> 00:05:49,190
- A bit less.
-225?
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00:05:49,275 --> 00:05:50,910
- Yes.
- Mine's £100,000.
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00:05:50,995 --> 00:05:52,750
It's contemporary
and it's modern.
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00:05:52,835 --> 00:05:55,030
It's no good saying, "It looks
Japanese" as if that's a slur.
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00:05:55,115 --> 00:05:58,070
- The Japanese advanced the car massively.
- No, no, that just means...
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00:05:58,155 --> 00:05:59,176
(CONVERSATION FADES)
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JEREMY: Eventually,
we decided to stop arguing
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00:06:02,355 --> 00:06:05,150
and drive from here
on the Black Sea
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00:06:05,235 --> 00:06:08,390
right through Georgia
and Azerbaijan
121
00:06:08,475 --> 00:06:12,856
to the Caspian for a nice
piece of grilled bream.
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00:06:25,746 --> 00:06:28,970
Funny thing is, I've no idea
what to expect on this journey.
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00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,810
I mean, I've seen the
Grand Prix from Azerbaijan
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00:06:32,895 --> 00:06:34,830
and I've seen Borat.
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00:06:34,946 --> 00:06:36,746
Hmm... Which is it?
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00:06:36,972 --> 00:06:38,832
I don't know what the roads
are gonna be like.
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00:06:38,918 --> 00:06:42,473
I mean, should we be doing
this in pick-up trucks?
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00:06:42,655 --> 00:06:44,043
Or tanks?
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00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:46,620
I mean, this is
the former Soviet Union.
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00:06:47,635 --> 00:06:50,260
It doesn't look it,
but it is.
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00:06:52,075 --> 00:06:55,210
Whatever. The roads
at this point were fine.
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00:06:55,295 --> 00:06:58,215
So, we could get to know
our cars.
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00:06:59,261 --> 00:07:02,629
The question I really want to
answer on this journey is this:
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00:07:02,715 --> 00:07:09,089
How can the DBS be worth
£67,000 more than the DB11
135
00:07:09,175 --> 00:07:11,472
when,
from where I'm sitting...
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00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:13,915
they appear to be
exactly the same.
137
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:18,576
At first, you're forced
to say, "Well, it isn't."
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00:07:18,661 --> 00:07:20,902
This interior
simply isn't good enough
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00:07:21,183 --> 00:07:23,496
in a £225,000 car.
140
00:07:23,581 --> 00:07:25,536
Just not even close.
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00:07:25,621 --> 00:07:28,716
You look at the Bentley and
you go, "That is an interior."
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00:07:28,801 --> 00:07:30,996
It's chintzy, but it's...
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00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:32,656
fabulous.
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00:07:33,701 --> 00:07:35,636
However, as we left the city,
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00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:40,566
the DBS's true colours
started to shine through.
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00:07:43,461 --> 00:07:47,576
This is by far the most powerful
car here, and the lightest.
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00:07:47,661 --> 00:07:49,441
And the most
sort of aggressive.
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00:07:49,527 --> 00:07:53,933
And yet it just glides along,
in GT mode,
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00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:56,621
which I'm in now -
Grand Touring mode.
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00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:59,121
It's like a hovercraft.
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00:07:59,321 --> 00:08:01,340
Whooosh!
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00:08:01,901 --> 00:08:06,136
(WHISPERS) I'm driving
a twin-turbo-charged VI2.
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00:08:06,229 --> 00:08:09,128
I can go 211mph.
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00:08:09,519 --> 00:08:12,166
And I can whisper at 70.
155
00:08:13,741 --> 00:08:17,576
But when you shift from
GT mode to Sport mode,
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00:08:17,715 --> 00:08:19,756
it's a very different animal.
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00:08:19,841 --> 00:08:23,486
- Ready?
-(ENGINE REVS)
158
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,840
(ENGINE ROARS)
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00:08:32,101 --> 00:08:35,776
Jesus Christ. Whoo!
(CHUCKLES)
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00:08:35,861 --> 00:08:38,074
Right, there's
a small difference there
161
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:42,808
between the DB11 and...
and this.
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00:08:42,894 --> 00:08:45,808
I'm afraid you're going to have
to face facts, both of you.
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00:08:45,910 --> 00:08:49,402
You're in wheelbarrows
and I'm in a spaceship.
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00:08:49,566 --> 00:08:51,136
Ahh.
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00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:54,326
An old man imagining
he's James Bond.
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00:08:58,421 --> 00:09:00,855
The thing is, if we're going
to talk about long-legged,
167
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,347
luxurious,
continent-crossing GT cars
168
00:09:03,527 --> 00:09:05,660
we're talking about Bentleys.
169
00:09:06,091 --> 00:09:08,026
They're the definitive GTs.
170
00:09:08,361 --> 00:09:11,136
Whisper-quiet,
velvety-smooth,
171
00:09:11,277 --> 00:09:14,121
a hint of
massive power waiting.
172
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:18,126
626 horsepower
under my right foot.
173
00:09:18,981 --> 00:09:20,425
(REVVING)
174
00:09:22,543 --> 00:09:24,769
Ooh-hoo, my word.
175
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:26,058
Ha-ha!
176
00:09:33,061 --> 00:09:35,332
But the GT car,
first and foremost,
177
00:09:35,418 --> 00:09:37,871
has got to be
a nice place to be.
178
00:09:37,957 --> 00:09:41,396
Because, by definition, you're
going to spend a lot of time in it.
179
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:44,776
And this
is a fine place to be.
180
00:09:44,861 --> 00:09:48,696
This finish on the centre
console - this metal here -
181
00:09:48,781 --> 00:09:51,996
is aluminium that's been
milled in the same way
182
00:09:52,082 --> 00:09:56,043
that they mill aluminium inserts
in the back of expensive watches.
183
00:09:56,277 --> 00:09:59,996
If I press this button here I can
rotate between my different screens.
184
00:10:00,081 --> 00:10:02,856
Oh, analogue dials
and clocks!
185
00:10:02,941 --> 00:10:04,796
In the centre of the dash,
thank you.
186
00:10:04,967 --> 00:10:06,316
(CHUCKLES)
187
00:10:08,261 --> 00:10:10,156
The problem for me with the
Bentley and the Aston
188
00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:14,736
is that they're actually a bit
too hung-up on being British.
189
00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:17,196
It is a bit of a British disease.
We can't shake it off.
190
00:10:17,281 --> 00:10:19,371
We're obsessed
with phoney heritage
191
00:10:19,457 --> 00:10:20,916
and the meaning of tradition.
192
00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:24,016
It's all just nonsense,
really.
193
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,716
Actually, if you want to talk
about heritage and traditions
194
00:10:26,801 --> 00:10:28,756
then the BMW
has the strongest.
195
00:10:28,841 --> 00:10:31,876
It's still made in Munich
by the same company.
196
00:10:31,961 --> 00:10:34,976
They make their own bits.
197
00:10:35,061 --> 00:10:38,456
And some of those bits
are very good.
198
00:10:38,541 --> 00:10:41,886
It has a 4.4-litre
twin-turbo-charged V8,
199
00:10:41,972 --> 00:10:44,585
developing 523 horsepower.
200
00:10:44,671 --> 00:10:46,876
(ENGINE REVS)
201
00:10:48,461 --> 00:10:51,356
It also has four-wheel drive,
rear-wheel steering,
202
00:10:51,441 --> 00:10:53,457
and adaptive anti-roll bars.
203
00:10:53,707 --> 00:10:55,113
It has an eight-speed
gear box.
204
00:10:55,199 --> 00:10:59,769
It's not twin clutch, but it is
flappy paddle, and it is very sharp.
205
00:11:00,707 --> 00:11:03,113
There we go -
drop it down to three.
206
00:11:04,021 --> 00:11:06,511
This is a proper car.
207
00:11:07,354 --> 00:11:09,573
Not tinsel!
208
00:11:12,301 --> 00:11:15,082
JEREMY: After James had
finished his interesting lecture
209
00:11:15,168 --> 00:11:16,941
on what's wrong with Britain,
210
00:11:17,027 --> 00:11:20,486
May started to think
about buying some fruit.
211
00:11:21,449 --> 00:11:23,558
JAMES:
Anybody need a lemon?
212
00:11:24,191 --> 00:11:26,027
Er...
No, I'm all right, thanks.
213
00:11:26,121 --> 00:11:30,066
I don't want... Oh, hang on, they've
all had the same idea here, look.
214
00:11:30,336 --> 00:11:31,831
Lemons on the right.
215
00:11:32,081 --> 00:11:34,918
There can't be
another lemon stall.
216
00:11:35,050 --> 00:11:37,652
Seriously...
It is - it's more lemons.
217
00:11:37,751 --> 00:11:41,766
Why doesn't someone go, "Right, everyone
is selling lemons on this piece of road,
218
00:11:41,852 --> 00:11:44,558
we're gonna sell furniture."
219
00:11:45,082 --> 00:11:47,988
Also, as a general rule,
you don't need many lemons,
220
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:49,156
whatever you're making.
221
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:51,597
We must have driven past,
what, 10,000?
222
00:11:51,715 --> 00:11:54,036
There's some more here
on the right.
223
00:11:54,121 --> 00:11:59,308
Well, that's one evening with Richard
Hammond's gin and tonic intake.
224
00:12:01,381 --> 00:12:03,796
Just trying out
the voice activation system.
225
00:12:03,881 --> 00:12:05,566
Always worth a laugh.
226
00:12:05,715 --> 00:12:07,754
"Enter country."
227
00:12:08,011 --> 00:12:10,457
FEMALE VOICE: Please
say the name of the country.
228
00:12:10,651 --> 00:12:14,255
- Georgia.
- Malta. Accepted.
229
00:12:14,341 --> 00:12:16,956
- I don't want to go to Malta.
- Would you like to enter a destination?
230
00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:20,596
- No.
- Please say the name of the country.
231
00:12:20,681 --> 00:12:22,456
Georgia.
232
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:25,716
Please say the name
of the desired country.
233
00:12:25,801 --> 00:12:27,656
Georgia.
234
00:12:27,741 --> 00:12:29,917
Please say the name
of a country.
235
00:12:30,058 --> 00:12:31,756
For example, England.
236
00:12:32,091 --> 00:12:33,626
Georgia.
237
00:12:33,761 --> 00:12:35,996
Please say the name
of the desired country.
238
00:12:36,245 --> 00:12:38,916
Say the name
of the country as one word.
239
00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:40,876
For example, France.
240
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:44,056
Yes. Georgia.
241
00:12:44,141 --> 00:12:47,605
- Cancel.
-(BEEP)
242
00:12:47,781 --> 00:12:51,876
JEREMY: Even though our cars didn't
recognise Georgia as a country,
243
00:12:51,961 --> 00:12:54,573
we soon arrived
in the town of Gori.
244
00:12:54,692 --> 00:12:58,417
The birthplace
of Joseph Stalin.
245
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,956
Look at that -
is that a Stalin museum?
246
00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:04,436
Can we just have a look?
247
00:13:04,521 --> 00:13:06,336
Yeah, we can have a look.
248
00:13:06,421 --> 00:13:08,916
Trouble is, when you tend to go
into a building owned by Stalin
249
00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:10,756
you rarely come out again.
250
00:13:11,417 --> 00:13:14,425
JEREMY: In the museum grounds
we found the house
251
00:13:14,511 --> 00:13:17,714
where the Soviet dictator
grew up.
252
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:22,206
So Stalin sat at that table in the
morning, when he was a little boy.
253
00:13:22,292 --> 00:13:24,605
- Yes.
- And said, "One day when I grow up
254
00:13:24,691 --> 00:13:27,105
I want to be
the nastiest piece of work
255
00:13:27,191 --> 00:13:28,736
the world has ever seen."
256
00:13:28,821 --> 00:13:30,536
And the parents
would have said,
257
00:13:30,621 --> 00:13:32,036
"There's a little boy
in Austria
258
00:13:32,121 --> 00:13:34,656
and he wants to be the
nastiest piece of work.
259
00:13:34,741 --> 00:13:37,996
But we think, son, you can be an even
nastier piece of work." And then he was.
260
00:13:38,081 --> 00:13:40,409
"You can be whatever
you wanna be, son."
261
00:13:40,495 --> 00:13:43,136
"If you wanna be the biggest
bastard the world has ever seen."
262
00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:45,296
- Bastard is a good word.
- And his mum said to him,
263
00:13:45,381 --> 00:13:47,996
"Are you sure you wouldn't like to
follow your father and be a shoemaker?"
264
00:13:48,081 --> 00:13:50,736
"No. I want to murder
20,000,000 people."
265
00:13:50,821 --> 00:13:55,486
He was actually sitting right here in his
little shorts and his little moustache.
266
00:13:56,301 --> 00:13:57,936
That is really
weird, though,
267
00:13:58,021 --> 00:14:00,006
isn't it, to think
what started in here.
268
00:14:00,741 --> 00:14:03,616
-(THUDDING)
- I've broken Stalin's house.
269
00:14:03,701 --> 00:14:06,050
-(LAUGHTER) - Jeez,
I'm going to the Gulag.
270
00:14:06,175 --> 00:14:09,245
- James!
-(GUFFAWING)
271
00:14:09,362 --> 00:14:12,917
"I've broken Stalin's house!"
272
00:14:14,701 --> 00:14:18,456
JEREMY: Outside, we checked
out the statue of Stalin.
273
00:14:18,541 --> 00:14:21,116
Which that night
caused a debate between...
274
00:14:21,201 --> 00:14:23,446
well, two of us.
275
00:14:25,901 --> 00:14:29,769
The man who beat Hitler
is from your town,
276
00:14:29,878 --> 00:14:32,996
so obviously, as they have done,
you put up a statue to him.
277
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,016
But then it turns out
278
00:14:35,101 --> 00:14:37,316
that he's an even bigger
mass murderer,
279
00:14:37,401 --> 00:14:39,176
so do you take it down?
280
00:14:39,261 --> 00:14:41,996
Eee, it's tricky, that one.
It's very tricky.
281
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:44,476
Can we talk about our cars?
282
00:14:44,561 --> 00:14:46,056
BOTH: No.
283
00:14:46,141 --> 00:14:48,065
I'm not interested
in the war.
284
00:14:48,151 --> 00:14:49,736
Well, it's more than the war,
Hammond.
285
00:14:49,821 --> 00:14:52,116
This is the sort of pivotal
bit of 20th-century history.
286
00:14:52,201 --> 00:14:55,096
It affected the whole world.
287
00:14:55,181 --> 00:14:57,230
- Right. Well, I'm off to bed.
- What?
288
00:14:57,331 --> 00:14:58,940
- I'm off to bed.
- Going to bed?
289
00:14:59,026 --> 00:15:00,495
I'm going to bed.
See you in the morning.
290
00:15:00,581 --> 00:15:03,714
We must have bored him, cos he's
left some of his gin and tonic.
291
00:15:04,061 --> 00:15:06,230
JEREMY: After some more
considered debate
292
00:15:06,316 --> 00:15:08,542
about the town's
Stalin's problems,
293
00:15:08,706 --> 00:15:11,126
I had a brainwave.
294
00:15:12,181 --> 00:15:14,878
I tell you what,
that statue...
295
00:15:15,101 --> 00:15:17,417
maybe we
could take it down for them.
296
00:15:17,558 --> 00:15:20,056
- Make up their minds for them.
- Exactly.
297
00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:21,503
- Do you know...
- Cos they're...
298
00:15:21,636 --> 00:15:23,487
This whole town, big dilemma.
299
00:15:23,605 --> 00:15:25,636
Do you know what it's like?
It's like someone who has
300
00:15:25,721 --> 00:15:28,355
an old piece of furniture
that they don't really like,
301
00:15:28,558 --> 00:15:31,050
but they can't throw it away
because it was their grandma's.
302
00:15:31,136 --> 00:15:32,847
But we'll go
and throw it away for them.
303
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,196
And then
they're actually glad.
304
00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:36,856
Cos there's no question they
shouldn't have a statue...
305
00:15:36,941 --> 00:15:37,739
Course you shouldn't.
306
00:15:37,909 --> 00:15:39,956
I mean, I can't remember
the town in Austria,
307
00:15:40,042 --> 00:15:41,276
not Germany,
where Hitler was born.
308
00:15:41,361 --> 00:15:45,456
But I bet they haven't
got a statue to him...
309
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:50,516
And so, that night, when the
town's people were fast asleep...
310
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,926
(FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL)
311
00:15:53,621 --> 00:15:55,316
JAMES: Kill the lights.
312
00:15:55,402 --> 00:15:57,177
JEREMY: Hang on.
Where is it? Where's...
313
00:15:57,361 --> 00:15:59,300
-(SMASHING)
JAMES: No, I meant...
314
00:15:59,386 --> 00:16:01,981
- I may have overdone that bit.
- I meant turn them off.
315
00:16:02,237 --> 00:16:04,435
JEREMY: Can you put the ladder...
Put the ladder... No.
316
00:16:04,521 --> 00:16:05,936
(ARGUING)
317
00:16:06,021 --> 00:16:08,534
JAMES: You go up the ladder.
- I know. Put it on the back.
318
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:10,896
JAMES: That is his back.
319
00:16:10,981 --> 00:16:12,956
JEREMY: Right. Right.
320
00:16:13,041 --> 00:16:14,596
(CLATTERING)
321
00:16:14,681 --> 00:16:16,576
Open it.
322
00:16:16,753 --> 00:16:19,396
-(GROANING) Come on.
-(CLANGING)
323
00:16:19,481 --> 00:16:21,806
(WHIRR OF CHAINSAW)
324
00:16:30,381 --> 00:16:33,026
The next morning
as we were saddling up,
325
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:36,456
Richard Hammond
had a question.
326
00:16:37,021 --> 00:16:40,296
Why have you put Nigel
Mansell's head on my bonnet?
327
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:43,056
JEREMY: I thought
you'd like it. You know.
328
00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,269
British racing driver,
British car,
329
00:16:45,355 --> 00:16:46,409
I thought
it would be appropriate.
330
00:16:46,495 --> 00:16:47,831
It's a bold statement,
isn't it?
331
00:16:47,917 --> 00:16:49,842
You've got a famous
Brummie in the car,
332
00:16:49,928 --> 00:16:51,636
and on the front of the car.
333
00:17:05,421 --> 00:17:08,596
Nigel Mansell must have been
a big name around here.
334
00:17:08,681 --> 00:17:10,816
A lot of people
looking at him.
335
00:17:10,901 --> 00:17:12,916
Was Nigel Mansell
popular here?
336
00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:15,696
JEREMY:
Yes. Global superstar, mate.
337
00:17:15,781 --> 00:17:17,316
Global superstar.
They love him.
338
00:17:17,401 --> 00:17:19,440
- Why? Are people pointing?
- Yeah.
339
00:17:19,526 --> 00:17:22,036
They must have been
into racing or something.
340
00:17:22,121 --> 00:17:24,076
Did Nigel
ever race a Bentley?
341
00:17:24,161 --> 00:17:27,616
No, mostly Williams
is what he's famous for.
342
00:17:27,701 --> 00:17:30,236
Oh, yeah, that might be
what's confusing people.
343
00:17:30,321 --> 00:17:32,416
That's why they look puzzled.
344
00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:34,916
I'd quite like to be
Richard Hammond.
345
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,385
Life is so much simpler.
346
00:17:38,822 --> 00:17:43,323
Our next destination was
a racetrack 70 miles away.
347
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:46,556
And because James and I
had racist satnavs...
348
00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:50,221
we were taking guidance
from the man up front.
349
00:17:50,588 --> 00:17:52,416
Which was a mistake.
350
00:17:52,573 --> 00:17:55,940
Hammond, we've definitely
been round here before.
351
00:17:56,182 --> 00:17:58,296
If you wanted me to be
in charge of navigation,
352
00:17:58,381 --> 00:18:00,756
you shouldn't have glued Nigel
Mansell's head to my bonnet.
353
00:18:00,841 --> 00:18:03,346
I'm trying.
354
00:18:03,518 --> 00:18:08,315
Eventually, Hammond managed to stumble
across the highway leading out of town.
355
00:18:08,601 --> 00:18:11,635
But things
didn't really get any better.
356
00:18:13,277 --> 00:18:17,252
Why are we going so slowly?
I'm being overtaken by trucks.
357
00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:22,695
Well, Nigel Mansell's head
gets in the way of road signs
358
00:18:22,781 --> 00:18:24,716
and I have to crane round him
to see them.
359
00:18:24,801 --> 00:18:26,338
And I don't want
to miss them.
360
00:18:26,424 --> 00:18:29,316
There's a sign there to
Tehran, which is in Iran.
361
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:31,205
We're not going to Iran.
362
00:18:31,312 --> 00:18:34,887
Well, I don't know. I can't see
the bloody signs, because of Nigel.
363
00:18:35,121 --> 00:18:37,690
(HORN BEEPS)
364
00:18:37,776 --> 00:18:40,143
Now I've been overtaken
by an orange van.
365
00:18:40,448 --> 00:18:43,056
Everybody filming us.
This is embarrassing.
366
00:18:43,141 --> 00:18:45,376
We're going to be
all over the news.
367
00:18:45,461 --> 00:18:49,776
Hammond's gonna read it and say, "That
wasn't Nigel Mansell, you bastards."
368
00:18:50,104 --> 00:18:53,315
It was somebody called
Josephine Stalin.
369
00:18:54,315 --> 00:18:58,346
RICHARD: Eventually, I found
what I reckoned was our turn-off.
370
00:18:58,821 --> 00:19:01,620
- It's down here.
- No, it's not down here.
371
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,651
We'll go down this bit and then
there'll be a bigger road again
372
00:19:04,737 --> 00:19:06,816
and we'll be there.
373
00:19:06,901 --> 00:19:10,406
JEREMY: And that is
exactly what didn't happen.
374
00:19:15,141 --> 00:19:18,026
-(THUD)
- Aaargh! Hammond!
375
00:19:18,245 --> 00:19:21,416
JEREMY: Ooh,
I've just grounded out!
376
00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:23,682
Yeah, that happens a lot
on main roads.
377
00:19:23,768 --> 00:19:25,216
(THUD)
378
00:19:25,301 --> 00:19:27,955
The DBS is actually
five millimetres lower
379
00:19:28,057 --> 00:19:31,932
than the DB11 which, of course,
is marvellous on a road like this.
380
00:19:32,018 --> 00:19:35,260
-(THUDDING)
JEREMY: Aaargh!
381
00:19:35,781 --> 00:19:39,806
Still...at least things
soon got worse.
382
00:19:40,781 --> 00:19:43,416
That man is armed.
383
00:19:43,690 --> 00:19:47,056
Another man
with a machine gun.
384
00:19:47,141 --> 00:19:50,807
OK. A lot of people
with machine guns.
385
00:19:54,237 --> 00:19:58,056
A local then explained to me
exactly where we were.
386
00:19:58,141 --> 00:19:59,616
(BIRDS CHIRRUPING)
387
00:19:59,701 --> 00:20:02,002
JEREMY: It's the border
that isn't a border.
388
00:20:02,581 --> 00:20:04,323
You look on here, right?
389
00:20:04,409 --> 00:20:05,760
- We're here.
- Yeah.
390
00:20:05,846 --> 00:20:08,401
Yeah? That is the border
391
00:20:08,487 --> 00:20:11,036
between Georgia...and Russia
392
00:20:11,121 --> 00:20:15,182
as recognised by...
most people in the world.
393
00:20:15,364 --> 00:20:19,379
But the Russians reckon...
it's here.
394
00:20:19,666 --> 00:20:21,936
So, well, what they do,
395
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:24,580
is they put this barbed-wire
fence up...
396
00:20:24,711 --> 00:20:27,026
At night they move it.
397
00:20:27,401 --> 00:20:28,656
Right.
398
00:20:28,741 --> 00:20:31,448
- The Russians move it?
- The Russians move it.
399
00:20:31,745 --> 00:20:34,448
So you go to bed at night,
you're living in Georgia,
400
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:37,656
you wake up in the morning -
you're Russian.
401
00:20:37,741 --> 00:20:39,136
But people live here.
402
00:20:39,221 --> 00:20:41,616
And this is a rural spot
in the middle of nowhere.
403
00:20:41,701 --> 00:20:44,056
What if somebody did this in
Ross-on-Wye where I live?
404
00:20:44,141 --> 00:20:46,556
Yeah, what if you suddenly woke up
and the Welsh suddenly decided...
405
00:20:46,641 --> 00:20:49,963
It's about the same sort of distance.
"Right, you're in Wales."
406
00:20:50,401 --> 00:20:55,627
JEREMY: We then met an actual
casualty of this border dispute.
407
00:20:57,301 --> 00:20:59,362
JEREMY:
Sir, are you Georgian?
408
00:20:59,448 --> 00:21:01,556
TRANSLATOR
SPEAKS GEORGIAN...
409
00:21:01,641 --> 00:21:03,806
THEY SPEAK GEORGIAN...
410
00:21:30,659 --> 00:21:32,476
Can you come across here,
though?
411
00:21:32,561 --> 00:21:34,886
TRANSLATOR SPEAKS GEORGIAN...
412
00:21:39,901 --> 00:21:42,486
JEREMY: Are there
Russian soldiers over there?
413
00:22:02,341 --> 00:22:07,034
Sadly, because we're The Grand
Tour and not the United Nations...
414
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:10,823
all we could do was remove
Nigel Mansell's head,
415
00:22:10,916 --> 00:22:14,736
sack Hammond as navigator...
416
00:22:14,821 --> 00:22:18,190
and resume our search
for the racetrack.
417
00:22:20,981 --> 00:22:23,536
And once
we found the right road
418
00:22:23,621 --> 00:22:26,356
James started to attract
some special friends.
419
00:22:26,441 --> 00:22:28,676
In their BMWs.
420
00:22:28,761 --> 00:22:31,385
Holy moly!
421
00:22:32,301 --> 00:22:35,932
Have you seen what's sticking
out of the bonnet of that thing?
422
00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:39,456
(BACKFIRING)
423
00:22:39,541 --> 00:22:42,745
He's an emeritus professor
at Tbilisi University.
424
00:22:42,901 --> 00:22:45,716
- He studies Latin and Ancient Greek.
-(LAUGHTER)
425
00:22:45,801 --> 00:22:48,126
(ENGINE REVS)
426
00:22:50,341 --> 00:22:53,256
That's how he gets to work
in the morning.
427
00:22:53,612 --> 00:22:55,753
Oh, James,
there's another one.
428
00:22:55,839 --> 00:22:57,885
Oh, this one's even better.
429
00:23:01,061 --> 00:23:03,476
I've never felt more like
a gooseberry, Hammond.
430
00:23:03,561 --> 00:23:05,016
I know what you mean.
431
00:23:05,101 --> 00:23:07,516
And we're spoiling
the moment for him.
432
00:23:07,788 --> 00:23:10,113
(ENGINE REVS)
433
00:23:10,581 --> 00:23:12,876
Oh, this is great! (LAUGHS)
434
00:23:12,961 --> 00:23:16,566
Ha-ha-ha!
Ah, they're everywhere.
435
00:23:18,781 --> 00:23:21,636
Having parted company
with James's fan club,
436
00:23:21,721 --> 00:23:24,604
we eventually arrived
at the racetrack.
437
00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:37,487
Built in the days
of communism...
438
00:23:37,573 --> 00:23:40,675
it hosted some terrible
and boring races,
439
00:23:40,761 --> 00:23:44,838
until the Soviet Union
and it fell apart.
440
00:23:46,487 --> 00:23:48,316
A few years ago, though,
441
00:23:48,401 --> 00:23:50,966
it was brought back to life.
442
00:23:52,701 --> 00:23:54,526
(JEREMY CRIES OUT)
443
00:23:57,701 --> 00:23:59,356
Now, what you've gotta
remember:
444
00:23:59,441 --> 00:24:02,487
715 horsepower is...
445
00:24:03,511 --> 00:24:05,186
a huge amount.
446
00:24:05,272 --> 00:24:08,534
That is a cathedral of power!
447
00:24:08,724 --> 00:24:11,594
119, 122, 129,
448
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:12,975
136!
449
00:24:13,061 --> 00:24:15,816
God, that is so quick.
450
00:24:15,901 --> 00:24:18,041
And the best thing is,
it's old school.
451
00:24:18,502 --> 00:24:21,104
All of that power
goes to the rear wheels.
452
00:24:21,190 --> 00:24:22,963
There's no...
four-wheel drive.
453
00:24:23,088 --> 00:24:24,893
There's no
four-wheel steering.
454
00:24:24,979 --> 00:24:27,676
- There's no fancy trickery.
-(TYRES SQUEAL)
455
00:24:27,761 --> 00:24:29,656
Oh, look at this.
456
00:24:29,741 --> 00:24:32,316
Drifting with the
traction control on.
457
00:24:32,401 --> 00:24:34,936
(TYRES SCREECH)
458
00:24:35,404 --> 00:24:36,564
Yessss!
459
00:24:37,261 --> 00:24:38,776
We like this.
460
00:24:38,861 --> 00:24:40,956
And with
the traction control off...
461
00:24:41,041 --> 00:24:42,756
I liked it even more.
462
00:24:42,841 --> 00:24:46,326
(TYRES SCREECHING)
463
00:24:48,541 --> 00:24:51,036
Look at that. Hah, ha-ha!
464
00:24:51,121 --> 00:24:53,416
(TYRES SCREECHING)
465
00:24:53,501 --> 00:24:58,676
The DB11 was the first Aston I've ever
driven that felt good...on a track.
466
00:24:58,761 --> 00:25:00,806
(TYRES SCREECH)
467
00:25:02,621 --> 00:25:03,876
And this is the second.
468
00:25:03,961 --> 00:25:06,286
(TYRES SCREECHING)
469
00:25:07,661 --> 00:25:09,776
Jesus, what a car!
470
00:25:11,505 --> 00:25:15,955
Uh, Richard Hammond driving
around in Chatsworth House here.
471
00:25:19,101 --> 00:25:22,940
This engine - this
twin-turbo, six-litre W12
472
00:25:23,026 --> 00:25:25,940
is actually the all-new
engine out of the Bentayga,
473
00:25:26,026 --> 00:25:27,901
but set up specially
for this car.
474
00:25:27,995 --> 00:25:31,136
Putting out
626 brake horsepower.
475
00:25:31,221 --> 00:25:33,696
And it's mounted further back
in the car than before.
476
00:25:33,781 --> 00:25:35,596
And the front wheels
are further forwards.
477
00:25:35,681 --> 00:25:38,356
Which gets it closer
to 50-50 weight distribution.
478
00:25:38,441 --> 00:25:40,856
And there's the keyword:
weight.
479
00:25:40,941 --> 00:25:43,276
- There's a lot of it.
-(TYRES SCREECH)
480
00:25:43,361 --> 00:25:45,276
Two and a quarter tons of it.
481
00:25:45,361 --> 00:25:48,836
So for it to stand a chance
of doing anything sporty,
482
00:25:48,921 --> 00:25:52,656
it's all about
controlling that weight.
483
00:25:52,741 --> 00:25:56,156
To do that Bentley has
equipped the Continental
484
00:25:56,241 --> 00:25:59,896
with an arsenal
of high-tech weapons.
485
00:25:59,981 --> 00:26:02,436
Torque vectoring,
four-wheel drive,
486
00:26:02,521 --> 00:26:04,756
superfast
adaptive suspension.
487
00:26:04,841 --> 00:26:06,806
And active diffs.
488
00:26:08,461 --> 00:26:11,036
All of which means
this big old Hector
489
00:26:11,121 --> 00:26:14,336
can, to use appropriate
Bentley parlance,
490
00:26:14,421 --> 00:26:16,476
pick up its skirts and run.
491
00:26:16,561 --> 00:26:18,476
(TYRES SCREECHING)
492
00:26:18,561 --> 00:26:20,846
Ooh, lovely.
493
00:26:23,381 --> 00:26:24,536
(CHUCKLES)
494
00:26:24,621 --> 00:26:26,216
(TYRES SCREECHING)
495
00:26:26,301 --> 00:26:28,516
The guy who designs the
traction control for this car
496
00:26:28,601 --> 00:26:31,396
-is apparently a drifting champion.
-(TYRES SCREECHING)
497
00:26:31,481 --> 00:26:33,856
And you can tell.
498
00:26:33,941 --> 00:26:35,596
He's built a Bentley
for himself.
499
00:26:35,681 --> 00:26:38,096
(TYRES SCREECHING)
500
00:26:38,181 --> 00:26:40,994
(LAUGHS) I swear...
501
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:42,776
Ha-ha-ha!
502
00:26:42,861 --> 00:26:46,659
It's... It's indecent
asking it to do that.
503
00:26:47,381 --> 00:26:49,436
JAMES: Meanwhile, in the BMW,
504
00:26:49,521 --> 00:26:52,886
I too had been
leaning on the electronics.
505
00:26:53,981 --> 00:26:56,216
Previously on the road
I had this set up
506
00:26:56,301 --> 00:26:58,396
in my version of Sport,
which you can program.
507
00:26:58,481 --> 00:27:01,276
And I had the steering on
comfort, and the ride on comfort.
508
00:27:01,361 --> 00:27:04,396
But now...
I have it in Sport Plus.
509
00:27:04,481 --> 00:27:06,886
(ROAR OF ENGINE)
510
00:27:07,885 --> 00:27:10,936
I have the least power - 523.
511
00:27:11,021 --> 00:27:13,816
I have the lowest
power to weight ratio.
512
00:27:13,901 --> 00:27:17,073
Look, it's a meaty engine
with lots of low-down grunt.
513
00:27:17,342 --> 00:27:19,057
I can dig deep.
514
00:27:19,143 --> 00:27:21,471
(ENGINE REVS)
515
00:27:21,643 --> 00:27:23,979
Combine that
with the four-wheel drive
516
00:27:24,065 --> 00:27:25,756
and the four-wheel steering,
517
00:27:25,841 --> 00:27:29,606
and the 8 Series
is exactly what you'd expect.
518
00:27:31,261 --> 00:27:35,307
It's easy. It's a BMW.
It feels like a BMW.
519
00:27:35,675 --> 00:27:37,244
It's so easy, in fact,
520
00:27:37,330 --> 00:27:39,252
that while going past
the pits,
521
00:27:39,338 --> 00:27:41,018
I noticed something.
522
00:27:41,534 --> 00:27:43,216
There's a bloke
with a stopwatch there.
523
00:27:43,302 --> 00:27:46,440
Does that mean they're actually
taking times? I presume it does.
524
00:27:46,752 --> 00:27:48,721
JEREMY: They were.
So, all of us
525
00:27:48,807 --> 00:27:52,549
decided to concentrate
on some hot laps.
526
00:27:53,821 --> 00:27:56,326
Bouncing over
the kerbs there.
527
00:27:57,021 --> 00:27:59,796
Unleashing it - and bam!
528
00:27:59,926 --> 00:28:01,771
More speed.
529
00:28:04,181 --> 00:28:07,276
Come on. Come on, turn.
Grip. Grip, grip, grip, grip.
530
00:28:07,361 --> 00:28:09,676
(ENGINE ROARS, TYRES SCREECH)
531
00:28:09,761 --> 00:28:12,284
The brakes, the turning...
532
00:28:12,569 --> 00:28:14,664
the acceleration...
533
00:28:15,203 --> 00:28:17,848
all absolutely...
534
00:28:18,143 --> 00:28:19,783
brilliant.
535
00:28:21,705 --> 00:28:23,690
What happens here?
536
00:28:24,655 --> 00:28:27,174
Stay wide, dab of brakes...
537
00:28:28,501 --> 00:28:31,260
-now bean it.
-(ENGINE REVS)
538
00:28:31,565 --> 00:28:33,646
Is this the fast one
or the slow one?
539
00:28:35,141 --> 00:28:38,377
God, it can pick up.
It just charges.
540
00:28:38,493 --> 00:28:40,618
(ENGINE ROARS)
541
00:28:41,501 --> 00:28:44,216
0-60 in 3.4 seconds,
542
00:28:44,301 --> 00:28:47,448
which is...
absolutely mind-boggling
543
00:28:47,534 --> 00:28:49,705
in a car this big.
544
00:28:50,031 --> 00:28:52,566
Send it in.
545
00:28:52,823 --> 00:28:55,328
-(RATTLING) - Oh,
collecting a bit of kerb.
546
00:28:58,141 --> 00:28:59,830
These brakes
are gonna get hot.
547
00:28:59,932 --> 00:29:02,604
These are the largest steel
brakes on any production car,
548
00:29:02,690 --> 00:29:04,956
but I'm still asking
a lot of them.
549
00:29:05,041 --> 00:29:08,616
(ENGINES ROAR)
550
00:29:08,791 --> 00:29:12,315
JEREMY: Eventually we pitted
to see how we'd done.
551
00:29:12,528 --> 00:29:14,523
- No surprises here.
RICHARD: Go on.
552
00:29:14,609 --> 00:29:16,444
- Aston was the fastest.
- Oh, God.
553
00:29:16,544 --> 00:29:19,046
- No, but obviously by an enormous margin.
- Fair enough.
554
00:29:19,241 --> 00:29:20,696
- Yes.
- Two minutes, yes?
555
00:29:20,781 --> 00:29:22,436
- Two minutes dead, pretty much.
- Faster by two minutes?
556
00:29:22,521 --> 00:29:23,816
- No, no. Two minutes.
-(CHUCKLING)
557
00:29:23,901 --> 00:29:25,289
Here's the interesting one,
though.
558
00:29:25,375 --> 00:29:26,718
The former President
of Georgia
559
00:29:26,804 --> 00:29:28,203
when this track
was reopened,
560
00:29:28,383 --> 00:29:30,710
a few years ago -
he set a time.
561
00:29:30,843 --> 00:29:33,359
- Did he?
- Yeah. In a Formula 3 car.
562
00:29:33,781 --> 00:29:35,984
Two minutes five dead.
563
00:29:36,070 --> 00:29:38,196
That's the President
of Georgia.
564
00:29:38,382 --> 00:29:40,656
- So, James May.
- Yes? (LAUGHS)
565
00:29:40,741 --> 00:29:43,136
Were you faster or slower,
do you think,
566
00:29:43,221 --> 00:29:44,976
than the President
of Georgia?
567
00:29:45,061 --> 00:29:46,753
Do I have to be the
President of Georgia if I...
568
00:29:46,839 --> 00:29:49,256
No.
I'm gonna say I was slower.
569
00:29:49,562 --> 00:29:51,676
- You're absolutely right.
But... -(LAUGHTER)
570
00:29:51,761 --> 00:29:53,625
Here's something interesting.
571
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,984
You were only point-eight
of a second slower
572
00:29:56,093 --> 00:29:58,636
than the President of Georgia
and he was in a Formula 3 car.
573
00:29:58,721 --> 00:30:01,343
Do you think you were faster
than the President of Georgia?
574
00:30:01,501 --> 00:30:04,776
I'll be honest, I'd very,
very much like to have been.
575
00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:07,523
- James May, you did 2:05.8.
- Yes.
576
00:30:07,621 --> 00:30:09,492
- Richard Hammond.
- Yes? -Two minutes...
577
00:30:09,578 --> 00:30:10,696
Yes?
578
00:30:10,781 --> 00:30:12,976
Four...point eight.
579
00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:15,198
- So you're only a second quicker.
- Ohh.
580
00:30:15,284 --> 00:30:16,410
That's the closest
you two have
581
00:30:16,496 --> 00:30:18,198
- Yeah, that is.
- ever been. Oh, hang on.
582
00:30:19,539 --> 00:30:22,096
A text. Oh, God. Mr Wilman.
583
00:30:22,181 --> 00:30:23,956
How does he know
when we're all sitting...
584
00:30:24,041 --> 00:30:25,776
It's uncanny.
585
00:30:25,861 --> 00:30:27,101
- Go on, then.
- Right.
586
00:30:27,187 --> 00:30:30,734
I've seen how fast you can go
in your cars on a flying lap.
587
00:30:30,820 --> 00:30:32,320
- Yes.
- Now we shall see
588
00:30:32,484 --> 00:30:35,556
how fast you can go when
you're bursting for a pee.
589
00:30:35,641 --> 00:30:37,176
- What?
- Really?
590
00:30:37,261 --> 00:30:40,196
Right, each of you will drink
three pints of water,
591
00:30:40,281 --> 00:30:42,216
wait 20 minutes
592
00:30:42,301 --> 00:30:46,882
and then see how much
your times improve.
593
00:30:51,101 --> 00:30:54,539
JEREMY: Soon, we were
ready to begin the test.
594
00:30:54,625 --> 00:30:58,511
Right, so we drink these, and
then when we've drunk all three,
595
00:30:58,612 --> 00:31:00,937
-start the timer?
- Yeah.
596
00:31:02,781 --> 00:31:04,696
(GULPING)
597
00:31:04,781 --> 00:31:07,496
(JEREMY SIGHS)
598
00:31:07,581 --> 00:31:09,846
- That's disgusting.
- Mm.
599
00:31:11,061 --> 00:31:13,406
It's just revolting,
this stuff.
600
00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:18,986
Women drink this,
you know, for fun.
601
00:31:22,632 --> 00:31:25,137
- Couldn't we have done it with wine?
- Shut up.
602
00:31:27,261 --> 00:31:28,396
-(BLEEP)
- Oh, God.
603
00:31:28,481 --> 00:31:30,816
- Have you finished?
- I'm going.
604
00:31:30,901 --> 00:31:32,476
- How have you done that?
-(BLEEP)
605
00:31:32,561 --> 00:31:34,886
Why are you
so far ahead of me?
606
00:31:38,421 --> 00:31:39,816
(BLEEP)
607
00:31:39,901 --> 00:31:41,996
The thing is, this is quite
an interesting test,
608
00:31:42,081 --> 00:31:46,256
because when I drive normally,
I drive on the motorway at 70mph.
609
00:31:46,341 --> 00:31:49,696
- Of course you do.
- When I need a pee, I'll do 180.
610
00:31:49,781 --> 00:31:51,876
- This test is unfair.
- Why is it?
611
00:31:51,969 --> 00:31:54,804
Well, my capacity is
smaller than you two.
612
00:31:54,890 --> 00:31:55,585
Er...
613
00:31:55,671 --> 00:31:59,312
Plus, it's got to go less distance to my
stomach, then less distance to my bladder,
614
00:31:59,398 --> 00:32:00,676
and then less distance
to my chap.
615
00:32:00,761 --> 00:32:02,695
- But...
- What? -We're older.
616
00:32:02,781 --> 00:32:05,031
- Yes.
- And you have wooden bladders.
617
00:32:05,117 --> 00:32:07,316
When you get older... Younger
viewers may be interested in this.
618
00:32:07,401 --> 00:32:09,896
It comes on more suddenly,
doesn't it?
619
00:32:09,981 --> 00:32:12,816
I can do the nights still. I
don't need to get up in the night.
620
00:32:12,901 --> 00:32:14,876
Mind you, that's prostrate
cancer, isn't it?
621
00:32:14,961 --> 00:32:16,856
- Is it?
- Yeah, it is. It's a sign.
622
00:32:16,941 --> 00:32:19,258
You know with prostrate
cancer, they tell you
623
00:32:19,344 --> 00:32:22,281
you've got to put your finger in your
back bottom and have a rummage about.
624
00:32:22,367 --> 00:32:26,862
Now, never having done that, I don't
know what it should feel like normally.
625
00:32:26,947 --> 00:32:28,482
- So I don't know...
- No, it's the doctor.
626
00:32:28,567 --> 00:32:30,117
That's why you
get the doctor to do it.
627
00:32:30,234 --> 00:32:33,322
- No, it says check yourself.
- You don't back on to your own digit.
628
00:32:33,407 --> 00:32:35,522
- It's... That's what it says.
- It isn't.
629
00:32:35,607 --> 00:32:37,742
Posters say,
"Check your anus."
630
00:32:37,827 --> 00:32:40,942
I've never seen a poster that says,
shove your finger up your arse. I just...
631
00:32:41,027 --> 00:32:43,442
Well, I've never understood it
cos it does say in the adverts,
632
00:32:43,527 --> 00:32:45,122
check yourself,
prostrate cancer.
633
00:32:45,207 --> 00:32:47,851
No, you check yourself for
testicular cancer, you spanner.
634
00:32:47,937 --> 00:32:50,054
You rummage your nuts about
to make sure there's no...
635
00:32:50,140 --> 00:32:51,482
- That you can do, yes.
- That's correct.
636
00:32:51,567 --> 00:32:53,153
No, that's what you
tell your wife.
637
00:32:53,239 --> 00:32:56,122
JAMES: Mercifully, my
20-minute wait was soon over.
638
00:32:56,207 --> 00:32:58,502
Four, three, two.
639
00:32:58,587 --> 00:33:00,932
- One.
-(BLEEP) -Goodbye.
640
00:33:02,947 --> 00:33:06,942
Ooh, no, that hurts.
(GROANING)
641
00:33:07,027 --> 00:33:11,042
- Three, two, one. -(BLEEP)
- I'm out of here. Good luck.
642
00:33:11,127 --> 00:33:14,202
Ooh, it is starting.
And running's unwise.
643
00:33:14,287 --> 00:33:16,187
(REVVING)
644
00:33:19,067 --> 00:33:20,987
(REVVING)
645
00:33:23,387 --> 00:33:26,442
I don't need a wazz.
I don't need a wazz.
646
00:33:26,527 --> 00:33:28,542
(TYRES SQUEAL)
647
00:33:28,627 --> 00:33:31,492
Oh, God, it's...
it's interfering.
648
00:33:32,947 --> 00:33:34,802
Aah... aah...
649
00:33:34,887 --> 00:33:37,372
Come on. Come on!
650
00:33:47,827 --> 00:33:50,222
I'm not thinking about it.
651
00:33:50,307 --> 00:33:52,652
I'm just
not thinking about it.
652
00:33:54,227 --> 00:33:57,902
Need a wee.
Braking, braking hard.
653
00:33:57,987 --> 00:34:02,132
Oh, it's worse going through the corners
because it all sloshes to one side.
654
00:34:03,147 --> 00:34:05,782
Oh, God.
655
00:34:05,867 --> 00:34:08,262
(GROANS)
656
00:34:08,347 --> 00:34:12,142
If Williams
had given their drivers
657
00:34:12,227 --> 00:34:15,332
three pints of water before
every race last year,
658
00:34:16,067 --> 00:34:18,412
they'd have won everything.
659
00:34:19,587 --> 00:34:21,932
Oh, God,
I'm living in my bladder.
660
00:34:23,947 --> 00:34:26,292
Don't relax!
661
00:34:27,667 --> 00:34:28,822
(GROANING)
662
00:34:28,907 --> 00:34:31,252
I'm never gonna make it.
663
00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:34,332
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
664
00:34:38,227 --> 00:34:40,147
(GROANS)
665
00:34:45,867 --> 00:34:47,122
That'll do. That'll do.
666
00:34:47,207 --> 00:34:49,982
Just... (GROANS)
667
00:34:50,067 --> 00:34:53,142
Can't run. (HYPERVENTILATING)
668
00:34:53,227 --> 00:34:55,642
It's gonna happen.
It's gonna happen.
669
00:34:55,727 --> 00:34:58,262
-(TRICKLING)
- What? Who's in there?
670
00:34:58,347 --> 00:35:00,122
- James.
- Bugger off, I'm having a wazz.
671
00:35:00,207 --> 00:35:02,262
- Hurry up.
- I'm having a wazz.
672
00:35:02,347 --> 00:35:04,842
Just hurry up! I'm going
to go in a minute.
673
00:35:04,927 --> 00:35:06,642
-(SILENCE)
- Oh, he's...
674
00:35:06,727 --> 00:35:08,782
Right, that's it. Let me in.
675
00:35:08,867 --> 00:35:10,802
-(TRICKLING)
- Oh, God, there's more!
676
00:35:10,887 --> 00:35:12,142
Oh, God.
677
00:35:12,227 --> 00:35:14,202
It's just awful. When you...
678
00:35:14,287 --> 00:35:18,062
Listen, mate, James
is in there and I'm first.
679
00:35:18,147 --> 00:35:20,102
You ain't getting in
ahead of me.
680
00:35:20,187 --> 00:35:22,262
- It's fine. Just relax.
- There's no way.
681
00:35:22,347 --> 00:35:23,642
It is awful, though, when
you get to the door,
682
00:35:23,727 --> 00:35:26,622
your body's saying,
yes, time to go.
683
00:35:26,707 --> 00:35:28,202
- But then you can't.
- Stop talking.
684
00:35:28,287 --> 00:35:30,042
Why aren't you bothered
anyway?
685
00:35:30,127 --> 00:35:33,882
Well, I solved the problem,
second corner.
686
00:35:33,967 --> 00:35:36,142
- Oh, yeah.
- So...
687
00:35:36,227 --> 00:35:38,582
- James...
- I'm having a wazz.
688
00:35:38,667 --> 00:35:41,042
Yes, I know. I've got the times.
It's quite interesting.
689
00:35:41,127 --> 00:35:43,862
You were a second slower
on that lap.
690
00:35:43,947 --> 00:35:45,782
I'm desperate for a slash.
691
00:35:45,867 --> 00:35:48,322
Do you think
you were faster or slower?
692
00:35:48,407 --> 00:35:50,022
I don't care.
693
00:35:50,107 --> 00:35:52,142
- Richard Hammond...
- J...
694
00:35:52,227 --> 00:35:55,642
your original lap, two
minutes four point eight.
695
00:35:55,727 --> 00:35:58,062
- Your new lap...
- Stop talking.
696
00:35:58,147 --> 00:36:00,492
- Two minutes...
- Yes, whatever.
697
00:36:01,187 --> 00:36:02,862
Zero point five.
698
00:36:02,947 --> 00:36:04,582
You were slower as well.
699
00:36:04,667 --> 00:36:06,602
Because I was concentrating
on not doing what you've done.
700
00:36:06,687 --> 00:36:09,902
Yeah, well, that's interesting.
Because I did what I did, look at that.
701
00:36:09,987 --> 00:36:11,522
How interesting is that.
Exactly the same.
702
00:36:11,607 --> 00:36:13,902
- I mean, I was basically...
- James!
703
00:36:13,987 --> 00:36:16,442
- Hurry up!
- I was point three of a second slower.
704
00:36:16,527 --> 00:36:18,852
But basically the same.
705
00:36:24,947 --> 00:36:27,402
JEREMY: After our
important day's work,
706
00:36:27,487 --> 00:36:31,322
I cleaned myself up and we
headed into Tbilisi,
707
00:36:31,407 --> 00:36:33,042
Georgia's capital,
708
00:36:33,127 --> 00:36:38,142
for something you can only
get in this country.
709
00:36:38,227 --> 00:36:42,342
You see, the thing is, America
gave the world aviation.
710
00:36:42,427 --> 00:36:45,082
Germany gave it the car.
Britain gave it the internet.
711
00:36:45,167 --> 00:36:50,922
But Georgia's contribution was
much more profound and important.
712
00:36:51,007 --> 00:36:55,652
You see, Georgia
gave the world... wine.
713
00:36:57,827 --> 00:37:02,622
They've been making wine
in Georgia for 4,000 years.
714
00:37:02,707 --> 00:37:08,292
It's such a big thing here, they now
have spas where you can bathe in it.
715
00:37:16,107 --> 00:37:18,522
- How does it feel?
- Tremendous.
716
00:37:18,607 --> 00:37:20,622
This is wine.
717
00:37:20,707 --> 00:37:23,360
That's the great thing about that.
He doesn't need a plug.
718
00:37:23,446 --> 00:37:24,284
No.
719
00:37:24,463 --> 00:37:29,278
He will simply lower himself
down and consume his bathwater.
720
00:37:29,387 --> 00:37:31,102
If I were to take
the plug out now,
721
00:37:31,187 --> 00:37:33,682
would you panic and try and
drink it all before it went away?
722
00:37:33,767 --> 00:37:36,182
Hang on, I just need to rinse my hair.
Hold on a minute.
723
00:37:36,267 --> 00:37:37,594
- He's actually going to wash...
- Oh, God, he is.
724
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:39,698
- ..his hair in wine.
- Oh, no, he is!
725
00:37:40,343 --> 00:37:42,338
Oh, God,
I got some in my mouth.
726
00:37:42,509 --> 00:37:44,404
James, do not
fall asleep in the bath.
727
00:37:44,490 --> 00:37:46,815
- OK.
- He's going to.
728
00:37:48,027 --> 00:37:50,622
Now I can relax.
729
00:37:50,707 --> 00:37:53,052
-(DISTANT BANG)
- Ooh...
730
00:38:02,187 --> 00:38:05,402
JEREMY: The next morning, we
went for a drive around Tbilisi,
731
00:38:05,487 --> 00:38:09,453
one of the coolest cities
we'd ever been to.
732
00:38:12,587 --> 00:38:15,071
Who is this on his horse?
733
00:38:15,227 --> 00:38:18,946
According to the sign, it's
King David the Builder.
734
00:38:19,417 --> 00:38:22,152
- What?
- Better than Eric the Chemist.
735
00:38:22,331 --> 00:38:23,426
(LAUGHS)
736
00:38:23,742 --> 00:38:25,352
The last builder I had
working on the house
737
00:38:25,438 --> 00:38:26,453
didn't look like that.
738
00:38:26,648 --> 00:38:28,776
He certainly didn't
turn up on a horse.
739
00:38:29,922 --> 00:38:32,317
We then found a flea market
740
00:38:32,613 --> 00:38:36,068
and decided to test the boot
space in our grand tourers
741
00:38:36,154 --> 00:38:39,199
by picking up
a few souvenirs.
742
00:38:42,187 --> 00:38:43,882
-(LAUGHTER)
- I'm not sure
743
00:38:43,967 --> 00:38:47,202
they would have been
able to win a war like this.
744
00:38:47,287 --> 00:38:50,875
This is a Russian wall clock.
745
00:38:50,961 --> 00:38:54,318
It says Moscow on the dial.
It works.
746
00:38:54,450 --> 00:38:57,441
-(WHIRR AND CLICK) - Is
it a Soviet one? -Yeah.
747
00:38:57,527 --> 00:38:59,638
A Soviet cine-camera.
748
00:38:59,795 --> 00:39:01,402
Now, come on.
749
00:39:01,487 --> 00:39:03,812
(PLAYS QUIETLY)
750
00:39:05,290 --> 00:39:08,345
How much is
the record player?
751
00:39:08,610 --> 00:39:12,217
- I'm going to do a selfie.
-(CLICK)
752
00:39:12,758 --> 00:39:16,693
I like the way that they've captured
the lustfulness of the lady dog
753
00:39:16,779 --> 00:39:19,943
and the wistfulness of James.
754
00:39:20,029 --> 00:39:22,388
Having done our shopping,
755
00:39:22,474 --> 00:39:25,013
Hammond and I
were soon back at our cars
756
00:39:25,099 --> 00:39:28,074
and filling up the boots.
757
00:39:28,358 --> 00:39:31,333
- What have you bought?
- A giant pair of jugs.
758
00:39:31,419 --> 00:39:32,874
Georgian wine jugs.
759
00:39:32,988 --> 00:39:35,723
Do you know what the Georgian
is for wine jugs?
760
00:39:35,887 --> 00:39:37,185
- No.
- Norks.
761
00:39:37,271 --> 00:39:38,506
- Is it? Is it?
- Yeah.
762
00:39:38,592 --> 00:39:39,808
So you've got
two giant norks.
763
00:39:39,894 --> 00:39:41,781
Yeah. A guitar and a clock.
764
00:39:41,867 --> 00:39:44,062
And I'm very pleased
with my purchases.
765
00:39:44,147 --> 00:39:46,482
What's with the trombone,
or whatever it is?
766
00:39:46,567 --> 00:39:47,942
Well, it won't fit.
767
00:39:48,027 --> 00:39:50,982
With my record player and my
bird and my gas mask...
768
00:39:51,067 --> 00:39:53,442
That's a striking piece.
Well, put it on the back seat.
769
00:39:53,527 --> 00:39:55,622
- Quite small.
- It will go on...
770
00:39:55,707 --> 00:39:57,822
The back seat
will accommodate that, look.
771
00:39:57,907 --> 00:39:59,962
- He's going to be critical.
- Oh, my God!
772
00:40:00,047 --> 00:40:01,842
There you go.
Told you he would.
773
00:40:01,927 --> 00:40:04,450
Do Aston Martin describe
that as a back seat?
774
00:40:04,536 --> 00:40:05,583
Yes.
775
00:40:05,669 --> 00:40:07,482
I wouldn't call it
a leather pouch.
776
00:40:07,567 --> 00:40:10,262
(STRAINS AND LAUGHS)
777
00:40:10,347 --> 00:40:11,638
- I can't argue...
-(LAUGHS)
778
00:40:11,724 --> 00:40:14,630
- I can't argue with him.
- It's not acceptable.
779
00:40:14,723 --> 00:40:16,271
- Are you actually in?
- Yes.
780
00:40:16,357 --> 00:40:19,332
- Head room?
-(WAILS) No.
781
00:40:19,418 --> 00:40:22,253
That is absolutely hopeless.
782
00:40:22,339 --> 00:40:26,396
Anyway, the interesting thing
about the Aston Martin is...
783
00:40:26,482 --> 00:40:30,317
- I've got quite a lot to say.
- I need to get out now!
784
00:40:30,403 --> 00:40:32,458
At this point,
James came back.
785
00:40:32,716 --> 00:40:35,491
After a very ambitious
shopping trip.
786
00:40:35,577 --> 00:40:37,592
Could you hold
the porcupine, please?
787
00:40:37,927 --> 00:40:39,582
Yak goes in first.
788
00:40:39,667 --> 00:40:41,502
You won't...
How big is that boot?
789
00:40:41,587 --> 00:40:43,942
- It is actually really big.
- It's unnecessarily big, actually.
790
00:40:44,027 --> 00:40:45,562
- It's too much boot.
- It's a grand tourer.
791
00:40:45,647 --> 00:40:47,880
It's for taking luggage as
you said only the other day.
792
00:40:48,004 --> 00:40:51,231
His Master's Voice
will go there.
793
00:40:51,331 --> 00:40:54,086
And then the Spanish
man-o-war...
794
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:59,035
JEREMY: I then came up with a plan to
get rid of what wouldn't fit in my car.
795
00:40:59,229 --> 00:41:00,244
I bought you a present.
796
00:41:00,447 --> 00:41:01,662
You're a musical man.
797
00:41:01,747 --> 00:41:03,638
That's very thoughtful
of him, actually.
798
00:41:03,724 --> 00:41:04,939
Thank you.
799
00:41:05,169 --> 00:41:07,162
With our souvenirs
loaded up,
800
00:41:07,247 --> 00:41:09,452
we got back on the road.
801
00:41:22,255 --> 00:41:24,355
(RATTLING)
802
00:41:26,731 --> 00:41:28,882
Lot of rattling in here.
I'm a bit worried that
803
00:41:28,967 --> 00:41:32,642
my big jugs are going to rub
against my clock and ruin it.
804
00:41:32,727 --> 00:41:37,682
JAMES: I thought you jammed your clock
between the jugs, so that it wouldn't.
805
00:41:37,767 --> 00:41:41,252
Finbarr Saunders
And His Double Entendres.
806
00:41:44,425 --> 00:41:47,099
JEREMY: Soon,
we arrived at the border.
807
00:41:50,429 --> 00:41:54,919
Where Europe stops
and Asia begins.
808
00:41:59,296 --> 00:42:03,294
So there we are. Bye-bye,
Georgia, the birthplace of wine,
809
00:42:03,407 --> 00:42:05,542
and hello Azerbaijan,
810
00:42:05,627 --> 00:42:09,091
the birthplace of something
very nearly as important.
811
00:42:09,704 --> 00:42:12,294
Oil.
812
00:42:12,517 --> 00:42:14,732
It was first discovered here
in the third century.
813
00:42:14,818 --> 00:42:17,773
Marco Polo wrote about it
a thousand years ago.
814
00:42:17,859 --> 00:42:20,091
He said it didn't
taste very nice.
815
00:42:20,236 --> 00:42:22,621
The oil industry began here.
816
00:42:22,707 --> 00:42:26,646
This was the first country in the
world to develop offshore drilling.
817
00:42:26,732 --> 00:42:30,617
But, weirdly, we are struggling
to find a petrol station.
818
00:42:32,964 --> 00:42:35,419
This meant
we had to back off a bit.
819
00:42:35,505 --> 00:42:40,070
Which prompted some smug
eco-sermons from Hammond and May.
820
00:42:41,465 --> 00:42:43,940
As we're now in the cruise,
821
00:42:44,158 --> 00:42:45,733
my car can do
a very clever thing.
822
00:42:45,864 --> 00:42:48,193
Its W12 can shut down
six cylinders
823
00:42:48,279 --> 00:42:50,514
and run as a V6
to save fuel.
824
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:54,474
And you can get
as much as 30mpg,
825
00:42:54,591 --> 00:42:56,997
but actually that's quite
a lot for a 2.2-tonne car.
826
00:42:57,083 --> 00:43:00,708
And more importantly, it means I
get a 500-mile range out of a tank.
827
00:43:00,921 --> 00:43:05,316
What I can do is I can put it in Eco
Pro mode, which I'm just doing now,
828
00:43:05,402 --> 00:43:09,001
which shuts down some vital features.
Not the engine fortunately.
829
00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:11,185
And I have an active grille.
830
00:43:11,271 --> 00:43:13,130
The flaps open
when they need to
831
00:43:13,216 --> 00:43:16,427
and then shut for better aerodynamic
efficiency when they're not needed.
832
00:43:16,516 --> 00:43:19,318
So this is all hi-tech stuff
we're doing.
833
00:43:19,447 --> 00:43:22,282
Jeremy,
what's your Aston Martin got?
834
00:43:22,544 --> 00:43:24,742
Well, between 40 and 80
835
00:43:24,827 --> 00:43:28,422
it'll shut down six of the
cylinders and run as a straight six
836
00:43:28,630 --> 00:43:31,782
until the catalytic converter
on the shut-down bank gets cool,
837
00:43:31,867 --> 00:43:34,602
then it starts that bank up again
and shuts the other one down,
838
00:43:34,687 --> 00:43:38,532
alternating to make sure everything
is at the optimum temperature.
839
00:43:39,326 --> 00:43:42,082
Ha-ha!
They weren't ready for that.
840
00:43:42,818 --> 00:43:44,202
Happily, at this point
841
00:43:44,287 --> 00:43:47,852
we finally found
a fuel station.
842
00:43:48,361 --> 00:43:50,396
Oh.
843
00:43:50,482 --> 00:43:53,591
Now, that's an oil company
name I wasn't expecting.
844
00:43:55,185 --> 00:43:56,620
Really?
845
00:43:56,862 --> 00:43:59,757
I know this is childish
but it says...
846
00:43:59,967 --> 00:44:02,622
(LAUGHTER)
847
00:44:02,707 --> 00:44:05,682
- I wish we had Turd Petrol in Britain.
- I really do.
848
00:44:05,767 --> 00:44:08,102
Turd Petrol!
849
00:44:08,187 --> 00:44:10,922
JEREMY: Why don't they
sponsor a Formula 1 team?
850
00:44:11,007 --> 00:44:13,115
Powered by Turd!
851
00:44:13,201 --> 00:44:15,357
- Think of the skid marks.
- Think of the commentary.
852
00:44:15,457 --> 00:44:18,254
(LAUGHING)
853
00:44:18,347 --> 00:44:23,122
Back on the move, we started to
soak up the local motoring culture.
854
00:44:23,208 --> 00:44:25,855
Which didn't take long.
855
00:44:28,776 --> 00:44:32,131
Lada, Lada
856
00:44:32,333 --> 00:44:34,253
and Lada.
857
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,255
RICHARD:
Lada, Lada, Lada.
858
00:44:38,527 --> 00:44:39,662
Lada, Lada.
859
00:44:39,747 --> 00:44:42,282
Three Ladas there,
a Lada there,
860
00:44:42,367 --> 00:44:44,222
two Ladas there.
861
00:44:44,307 --> 00:44:45,642
If there's
a Lada owners' club
862
00:44:45,727 --> 00:44:47,702
in Azerbaijan,
it could be massive.
863
00:44:47,787 --> 00:44:51,122
"What Car?" must have been a
very thin magazine over here.
864
00:44:51,207 --> 00:44:53,492
(RICHARD AND JEREMY LAUGH)
865
00:44:57,787 --> 00:45:01,482
JEREMY: At the next town, May
and I wanted to pull over.
866
00:45:01,567 --> 00:45:04,342
And Hammond didn't.
867
00:45:04,427 --> 00:45:05,922
It's all very nice
jollying around
868
00:45:06,007 --> 00:45:07,742
but these are GT cars.
869
00:45:07,827 --> 00:45:09,562
We've got
a couple of miles in them.
870
00:45:09,647 --> 00:45:13,002
We've got miles to go.
We need to get a move on.
871
00:45:13,087 --> 00:45:16,062
The town, however,
was called Ganja.
872
00:45:16,147 --> 00:45:21,172
So obviously May and I wanted
to experience the architecture.
873
00:45:43,467 --> 00:45:45,982
- You know I'm building a new house?
- Yes.
874
00:45:46,067 --> 00:45:47,618
I think I've got
the scale of it wrong.
875
00:45:47,704 --> 00:45:48,491
Really?
876
00:45:48,577 --> 00:45:50,242
Mm. I think it needs
to be more like this.
877
00:45:50,327 --> 00:45:51,528
This. I like the arch.
878
00:45:51,614 --> 00:45:55,059
I think the Cotswolds needs
this kind of architecture in it.
879
00:45:55,145 --> 00:45:57,800
Can we stop stopping off
to look at things?
880
00:45:58,067 --> 00:46:01,522
The whole point of this trip is to
prove that these powerful GT cars
881
00:46:01,607 --> 00:46:04,462
can devour continents and
we're not devouring any miles.
882
00:46:04,547 --> 00:46:06,222
- Ooh.
- Well, we need to get going.
883
00:46:06,307 --> 00:46:07,842
You do know that these
aren't actually quicker
884
00:46:07,927 --> 00:46:09,582
than any
other type of car?
885
00:46:09,667 --> 00:46:11,034
- What?
- No, in the real world.
886
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:12,769
I mean, these feel great.
That's why we like them.
887
00:46:12,855 --> 00:46:15,948
It's nice having a powerful car, etc.
But in the real world
888
00:46:16,034 --> 00:46:19,029
they don't go any faster or
slower than any other type of car.
889
00:46:19,207 --> 00:46:20,942
- But they go faster.
- They don't.
890
00:46:21,027 --> 00:46:23,882
What? Those Ladas we've been
overtaking endlessly since we got here.
891
00:46:23,967 --> 00:46:28,842
You're saying that my twin turbocharged
Aston Martin is no faster than them?
892
00:46:28,927 --> 00:46:30,862
Not in the real world.
893
00:46:30,947 --> 00:46:33,722
I'll demonstrate it to you,
tomorrow.
894
00:46:33,807 --> 00:46:35,707
Oh, God.
895
00:46:41,867 --> 00:46:44,462
Right, May,
what is your thinking?
896
00:46:44,547 --> 00:46:48,012
Well, I've bought this
Renault 9. It's the GTL.
897
00:46:50,587 --> 00:46:52,862
And I've flown Abbie
out to drive it
898
00:46:52,947 --> 00:46:56,402
and we're going to drive 50 miles to
a place called the Garden of Paradise.
899
00:46:56,487 --> 00:46:59,462
Why can't we just
go where we're going?
900
00:46:59,547 --> 00:47:02,762
Cos I just said we're going to the
Garden of Paradise. It'll be nice.
901
00:47:02,847 --> 00:47:05,362
- So Abbie gets a two-minute head start.
- Mm-hm.
902
00:47:05,447 --> 00:47:07,002
You won't be
able to catch her.
903
00:47:07,087 --> 00:47:09,102
- We will.
- You won't.
904
00:47:09,187 --> 00:47:11,042
- A two-minute head start...
- Yes.
905
00:47:11,127 --> 00:47:13,486
And you think we can't
catch her up in 50 miles?
906
00:47:13,584 --> 00:47:14,607
Exactly.
907
00:47:14,693 --> 00:47:16,431
That's not in good condition.
908
00:47:16,517 --> 00:47:18,202
It wasn't very expensive.
909
00:47:18,287 --> 00:47:19,602
Start the engine, please.
910
00:47:19,687 --> 00:47:22,913
(ENGINE STRUGGLES TO
TURN OVER, STARTS)
911
00:47:22,999 --> 00:47:24,335
- Oh, well.
- Oh, well.
912
00:47:24,421 --> 00:47:25,812
Oh, we're in trouble now.
913
00:47:25,898 --> 00:47:28,122
- Right, you ready?
- Purrs like a kitten.
914
00:47:28,207 --> 00:47:29,942
In three, two, one...
915
00:47:30,027 --> 00:47:32,662
- Go! -(ENGINE STALLS)
-(ABBIE CHUCKLES)
916
00:47:32,747 --> 00:47:35,762
- Professional racing driver.
- She's good. She's good.
917
00:47:35,847 --> 00:47:38,642
- You've bought a dog.
- It doesn't work!
918
00:47:38,727 --> 00:47:40,682
(ENGINE REVS)
919
00:47:40,767 --> 00:47:43,572
- There.
- Ooh.
920
00:47:47,387 --> 00:47:49,362
So James May's experiment...
921
00:47:49,447 --> 00:47:52,562
Is an Aston Martin DBS,
twin turbo,
922
00:47:52,647 --> 00:47:56,892
faster than an ancient
rusting Renault 9?
923
00:47:58,227 --> 00:47:59,702
18 seconds.
924
00:47:59,787 --> 00:48:03,412
Stop sounding excited about
this ridiculous escapade.
925
00:48:05,147 --> 00:48:07,492
Two, one, begin.
926
00:48:09,107 --> 00:48:11,142
(REVVING)
927
00:48:11,227 --> 00:48:14,646
Right, let's get this charade
over with, shall we?
928
00:48:14,732 --> 00:48:17,123
And prove that James is mad.
929
00:48:17,217 --> 00:48:20,842
The point of having a GT car with tonnes
of power is it makes you feel good
930
00:48:20,927 --> 00:48:23,252
and it's nice.
But it's not quick.
931
00:48:26,427 --> 00:48:29,822
All cars in the real world
go at the same speed
932
00:48:29,907 --> 00:48:33,442
because how fast they go is
dictated by external factors,
933
00:48:33,527 --> 00:48:34,942
not the car itself.
934
00:48:35,027 --> 00:48:36,942
Traffic lights,
speed cameras,
935
00:48:37,027 --> 00:48:38,762
other cars,
pedestrians crossing.
936
00:48:38,847 --> 00:48:42,372
All these things
just bunch everybody up.
937
00:48:44,787 --> 00:48:48,722
If you have a powerful engine in your car,
you can get home at night more quickly.
938
00:48:48,807 --> 00:48:52,002
Which means you spend more
time with your children.
939
00:48:52,087 --> 00:48:57,502
Which means they're less likely
to grow up as glue sniffers.
940
00:48:57,587 --> 00:49:01,122
JEREMY: Soon we were out of
the town and on the motorway.
941
00:49:01,207 --> 00:49:04,262
But there was a problem.
942
00:49:04,347 --> 00:49:08,262
These speed cameras,
they're at every 100 yards.
943
00:49:08,347 --> 00:49:10,242
Yeah, I mean, it's crazy.
944
00:49:10,327 --> 00:49:13,162
But Abbie has got
the same problem.
945
00:49:13,247 --> 00:49:16,062
She's not
getting away from us.
946
00:49:16,147 --> 00:49:19,332
- No, but we're not catching her either, are we?
- No.
947
00:49:22,147 --> 00:49:27,162
Once we got off the motorway, though,
Hammond and I splashed the brown roadblock
948
00:49:27,247 --> 00:49:29,572
and got cracking.
949
00:49:34,019 --> 00:49:36,382
Abbie is a brilliant driver.
950
00:49:36,467 --> 00:49:39,482
Make no mistake. She's
a lot better at it than me.
951
00:49:39,567 --> 00:49:43,342
But I've got 14 times
more horsepower.
952
00:49:43,427 --> 00:49:45,682
All I had to do
to catch her, then,
953
00:49:45,767 --> 00:49:47,602
was overtake everything.
954
00:49:47,687 --> 00:49:49,462
But that wasn't easy.
955
00:49:49,547 --> 00:49:52,442
Single unbroken line.
Can't overtake.
956
00:49:52,527 --> 00:49:53,702
Can't overtake.
957
00:49:53,787 --> 00:49:55,702
Right, we're stuck
behind a Lada.
958
00:49:55,787 --> 00:49:58,132
- Oh, God, car coming the other way.
-(HORN)
959
00:50:00,107 --> 00:50:02,462
Oh, come on,
come on, come on.
960
00:50:02,547 --> 00:50:04,962
And there's Jeremy Clarkson
behind a lorry.
961
00:50:05,047 --> 00:50:06,302
As I am.
962
00:50:06,387 --> 00:50:09,572
Yeah, that's what you need.
963
00:50:14,587 --> 00:50:17,182
Town...
964
00:50:17,267 --> 00:50:19,282
Oh... What are you doing?
965
00:50:19,367 --> 00:50:22,742
-(HORN)
- You dithering half-wit.
966
00:50:22,827 --> 00:50:26,642
In James' real world, we
weren't getting any breaks.
967
00:50:26,727 --> 00:50:29,282
Oh, great. Digger.
968
00:50:29,367 --> 00:50:31,942
Oh, God.
969
00:50:32,027 --> 00:50:35,932
Whereas up ahead,
Abbie was in scythe mode.
970
00:50:43,187 --> 00:50:45,862
Oh, come on!
971
00:50:45,947 --> 00:50:49,022
Right, Lada...
Lada, Lada, Lada.
972
00:50:49,107 --> 00:50:53,562
It's like they're releasing them every
seven seconds coming the other way.
973
00:50:53,647 --> 00:50:56,822
Oh, good. Red light.
974
00:50:56,907 --> 00:50:59,252
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
975
00:51:02,267 --> 00:51:05,802
Nine, eight, seven, six,
976
00:51:05,887 --> 00:51:07,622
five, four,
977
00:51:07,707 --> 00:51:09,302
three, two...
978
00:51:09,387 --> 00:51:11,962
Hello, chaps.
Waiting at the lights?
979
00:51:12,047 --> 00:51:14,942
Oh, Christ.
980
00:51:15,027 --> 00:51:17,802
Mercifully, though, we were
soon out of the town
981
00:51:17,887 --> 00:51:20,212
and onto the open road.
982
00:51:23,867 --> 00:51:25,262
(HORN)
983
00:51:25,347 --> 00:51:27,562
RICHARD: Freedom!
984
00:51:27,647 --> 00:51:28,902
Yes!
985
00:51:28,987 --> 00:51:31,502
Splash the Lada.
986
00:51:31,587 --> 00:51:34,402
-(HORN)
- Another one.
987
00:51:34,487 --> 00:51:36,812
It's clear.
988
00:51:38,907 --> 00:51:44,002
But then, with just 10 miles
to go, everything got rural.
989
00:51:44,087 --> 00:51:47,052
Hammond, cows, cows, cows!
990
00:51:48,027 --> 00:51:49,947
(BARKING)
991
00:51:51,947 --> 00:51:54,802
As things became
even more rural,
992
00:51:54,887 --> 00:51:58,222
the Aston started
to have a problem.
993
00:51:58,307 --> 00:52:00,122
It's barely moving.
What's he doing?
994
00:52:00,208 --> 00:52:02,075
RICHARD:
Can't you pick it up a bit?
995
00:52:02,161 --> 00:52:05,902
JEREMY: It's bumpy and the
camber is all over the shop.
996
00:52:05,987 --> 00:52:09,162
Yeah, it's not perfect but
it's drivable. Come on!
997
00:52:09,247 --> 00:52:14,142
Hammond, I've got 715 horsepower
and only rear-wheel drive.
998
00:52:14,227 --> 00:52:16,852
Right, this is ridiculous.
I'm going to come past.
999
00:52:19,507 --> 00:52:23,332
I've got torque vectoring,
four-wheel drive. It can handle this.
1000
00:52:26,947 --> 00:52:30,252
RICHARD: Meanwhile, further
back in the Eeyore W...
1001
00:52:32,267 --> 00:52:34,812
I bet you she's still
two minutes ahead.
1002
00:52:38,747 --> 00:52:41,182
Why have you stopped?
1003
00:52:41,267 --> 00:52:44,762
Because there's an entire
farm coming towards me.
1004
00:52:44,847 --> 00:52:47,172
(BLEATING AND BELLS RINGING)
1005
00:52:50,747 --> 00:52:53,662
It's a river of wool
and lunch.
1006
00:52:53,747 --> 00:52:55,482
Please don't
scratch my Bentley.
1007
00:52:55,567 --> 00:52:57,292
Please don't scratch
my Bentley.
1008
00:53:00,427 --> 00:53:02,602
(LOWING AND BELLS RINGING)
1009
00:53:02,687 --> 00:53:03,947
All right?
1010
00:53:10,747 --> 00:53:14,362
JEREMY: As we approached journey's
end, the road surface improved.
1011
00:53:14,447 --> 00:53:18,732
So we could both unleash
our massive horsepower.
1012
00:53:22,704 --> 00:53:24,402
So here we are,
ladies and gentlemen.
1013
00:53:24,487 --> 00:53:26,202
Richard Hammond's
on a mountain road
1014
00:53:26,287 --> 00:53:28,092
in a Bentley going quickly.
1015
00:53:28,987 --> 00:53:31,332
So nothing can go wrong here.
1016
00:53:34,027 --> 00:53:36,212
We've got to have
closed the gap by now.
1017
00:53:37,867 --> 00:53:40,662
No offence, Abbie,
but you're not having this.
1018
00:53:40,747 --> 00:53:43,802
JEREMY: The finish line at the
Garden of Paradise was close.
1019
00:53:43,887 --> 00:53:48,322
And as we entered the outskirts,
the patio of paradise,
1020
00:53:48,407 --> 00:53:50,732
Abbie was in sight.
1021
00:53:51,987 --> 00:53:54,002
The race we knew
would be ours
1022
00:53:54,087 --> 00:53:56,642
but then it turned out
that actually
1023
00:53:56,727 --> 00:54:00,412
the finish line
was in the 14th Century.
1024
00:54:01,787 --> 00:54:04,222
RICHARD: Oh, my word.
1025
00:54:04,307 --> 00:54:06,122
Getting narrow, very narrow.
1026
00:54:06,207 --> 00:54:08,142
(KNOCKING)
1027
00:54:08,227 --> 00:54:09,622
Oh, I don't know how much
1028
00:54:09,707 --> 00:54:11,522
a carbon fibre chin spoiler
is on one of these
1029
00:54:11,607 --> 00:54:13,042
but I bet it's a lot.
1030
00:54:13,127 --> 00:54:15,502
(REVVING)
1031
00:54:15,587 --> 00:54:18,652
Abbie, however, wasn't worried
about that sort of thing.
1032
00:54:21,547 --> 00:54:23,702
(KNOCKING)
1033
00:54:23,787 --> 00:54:28,892
That's the sound of a crow
rubbing against a Russian stereo.
1034
00:54:30,427 --> 00:54:31,467
(SCRAPING)
1035
00:54:32,867 --> 00:54:34,049
(SCRAPING)
1036
00:54:34,135 --> 00:54:36,090
That was not good.
1037
00:54:36,176 --> 00:54:39,291
- Hello.
- Hammond, I'm beached.
1038
00:54:39,547 --> 00:54:42,132
I'm going to find
another route.
1039
00:54:45,787 --> 00:54:48,132
- Oh, is it really round here?
-(KNOCKING)
1040
00:54:49,347 --> 00:54:51,902
A lot of noise
from the boot now.
1041
00:54:51,987 --> 00:54:54,202
JEREMY: Meanwhile,
I'd found another route
1042
00:54:54,287 --> 00:54:56,482
that wasn't much better.
1043
00:54:56,567 --> 00:54:58,862
-(SCRAPING)
- Oh, God.
1044
00:54:58,947 --> 00:55:03,782
James May's ideal motor race,
this. I'm doing four, three.
1045
00:55:03,867 --> 00:55:06,322
By this stage
I knew I'd lost.
1046
00:55:06,407 --> 00:55:09,642
So I needed to
come up with an excuse.
1047
00:55:09,727 --> 00:55:11,962
Are these for the head?
1048
00:55:12,047 --> 00:55:13,582
A hat.
1049
00:55:13,667 --> 00:55:15,762
This is not
Bentley country now.
1050
00:55:15,847 --> 00:55:19,742
This is really
Land Rover territory.
1051
00:55:19,827 --> 00:55:22,532
James May, you are
a bloody idiot.
1052
00:55:23,139 --> 00:55:25,722
Sit-rep, man arrived
at the window,
1053
00:55:25,807 --> 00:55:30,732
took 30 units of currency
away and I now have this hat.
1054
00:55:33,707 --> 00:55:39,502
Eventually Hammond and I found Abbie's
victorious Renault at the finish line.
1055
00:55:39,587 --> 00:55:42,839
And then what was definitely
several hours later,
1056
00:55:42,925 --> 00:55:44,820
May turned up.
1057
00:55:44,906 --> 00:55:46,401
RICHARD: Oh, here he is.
1058
00:55:46,487 --> 00:55:48,812
JEREMY: Oh, God.
1059
00:55:50,827 --> 00:55:53,082
- Who won, then?
- We did!
1060
00:55:53,167 --> 00:55:55,902
- Did you?
- No. No. We didn't.
1061
00:55:55,987 --> 00:55:58,822
- He went hat shopping.
- I did. Look.
1062
00:55:58,907 --> 00:56:01,166
- Really?
- It took him ages choosing that one.
1063
00:56:01,252 --> 00:56:03,712
Honestly, we must have been...
How long were we hat shopping?
1064
00:56:03,798 --> 00:56:05,376
Must have been a good half
hour to get the right one.
1065
00:56:05,462 --> 00:56:08,291
Well, half an hour with the black
one and then I didn't like it.
1066
00:56:08,455 --> 00:56:10,202
That does not happen
by accident.
1067
00:56:10,287 --> 00:56:12,262
That sort of thing
takes time.
1068
00:56:12,347 --> 00:56:16,062
Anyway, this does prove, does it not,
that fast cars, yes, they're great,
1069
00:56:16,147 --> 00:56:17,842
but they're not fast.
In the real world
1070
00:56:17,928 --> 00:56:20,322
a Renault 9 is as fast
as an Aston or Bentley
1071
00:56:20,407 --> 00:56:21,762
-or a BMW.
- Ow! Agh! Agh!
1072
00:56:21,847 --> 00:56:24,582
- What?
- Ohh! There's been an accident.
1073
00:56:24,667 --> 00:56:25,982
There's no other word for it.
1074
00:56:26,067 --> 00:56:27,762
- The... My... Look.
- You've ruined your crow.
1075
00:56:27,847 --> 00:56:31,702
The crow's beak's
come off and base.
1076
00:56:31,787 --> 00:56:35,742
But more... Look. That all
was in me a minute ago
1077
00:56:35,827 --> 00:56:37,022
and now it's not.
1078
00:56:37,107 --> 00:56:38,282
Why's it coming out of you?
1079
00:56:38,367 --> 00:56:41,582
Because half the crow's face
went in there
1080
00:56:41,667 --> 00:56:43,542
-when I picked it up.
- It attacked you?
1081
00:56:43,627 --> 00:56:45,362
That was a really priceless
ornament, that.
1082
00:56:45,447 --> 00:56:46,566
That's a real shame.
1083
00:56:46,652 --> 00:56:47,824
That's coming out at a rate.
1084
00:56:47,910 --> 00:56:49,737
I reckon you've probably got
three, maybe four minutes.
1085
00:56:49,823 --> 00:56:50,972
That's a pint.
1086
00:56:51,097 --> 00:56:53,433
It's not a pint. It's
spread out thin on the floor.
1087
00:56:53,519 --> 00:56:56,462
If this were you there'd be
bloody helicopters coming,
1088
00:56:56,547 --> 00:56:58,802
-trousers being cut off.
- Yeah. I'd be out of here by now.
1089
00:56:58,887 --> 00:57:00,782
I'm just getting on with it.
Go and have a look
1090
00:57:00,867 --> 00:57:02,802
-how much damage you've done in yours.
- Mine'll be fine.
1091
00:57:02,887 --> 00:57:05,372
I won't have done any damage
in the Bentley.
1092
00:57:06,627 --> 00:57:08,972
- Oh, God!
-(JEREMY LAUGHS)
1093
00:57:12,427 --> 00:57:15,182
- Go on, say it.
- I've lost my jugs and my clock.
1094
00:57:15,267 --> 00:57:17,612
- All I've got is this ring.
-(JEREMY LAUGHS)
1095
00:57:21,987 --> 00:57:26,402
JEREMY: With James' unrealistic
real world test out of the way,
1096
00:57:26,487 --> 00:57:28,482
we continued heading east
1097
00:57:28,567 --> 00:57:33,852
and eventually we arrived
at the fount of everything.
1098
00:57:47,027 --> 00:57:50,162
The cradle of humankind
is in South Africa.
1099
00:57:50,247 --> 00:57:53,302
That's where we began
as a species.
1100
00:57:53,387 --> 00:57:57,282
But the cradle of everything
that makes us special
1101
00:57:57,367 --> 00:57:59,182
is here.
1102
00:57:59,267 --> 00:58:04,282
The things that we make out of
what's coming out of the ground here
1103
00:58:04,367 --> 00:58:06,742
boggles the mind.
1104
00:58:06,827 --> 00:58:09,302
Toothbrushes, crayons,
1105
00:58:09,387 --> 00:58:11,482
heart valves, parachutes,
1106
00:58:11,567 --> 00:58:12,942
anti-freeze.
1107
00:58:13,027 --> 00:58:16,522
JAMES: Vinyl records,
cassette tapes,
1108
00:58:16,607 --> 00:58:19,462
CDs, training shoes.
1109
00:58:19,547 --> 00:58:21,922
Guitar strings, balloons,
1110
00:58:22,007 --> 00:58:24,642
sunglasses, life jackets.
1111
00:58:24,727 --> 00:58:27,942
Anaesthetics,
enamel, dentures,
1112
00:58:28,027 --> 00:58:30,442
prosthetic limbs, shampoo.
1113
00:58:30,527 --> 00:58:33,162
Disposable ballpoint pen,
1114
00:58:33,247 --> 00:58:34,682
smartphone,
1115
00:58:34,767 --> 00:58:38,302
face creams, deodorants.
1116
00:58:38,387 --> 00:58:40,332
Lipstick, fishing rods,
1117
00:58:40,418 --> 00:58:43,246
electric blankets,
insect repellent,
1118
00:58:43,332 --> 00:58:45,202
umbrellas, roofing.
1119
00:58:45,287 --> 00:58:48,182
Light switches, dishwashers,
1120
00:58:48,267 --> 00:58:50,422
John Travolta's face.
1121
00:58:50,507 --> 00:58:53,362
Antiseptic,
food preservatives,
1122
00:58:53,447 --> 00:58:55,482
basketballs, putty,
1123
00:58:55,567 --> 00:58:58,462
motorcycle helmets, boats,
1124
00:58:58,547 --> 00:59:00,142
soft contact lenses.
1125
00:59:00,227 --> 00:59:03,162
The crackly bottle
your water comes in.
1126
00:59:03,247 --> 00:59:06,282
Fan belts, satellite dishes,
1127
00:59:06,367 --> 00:59:08,692
Frisbees, heat,
1128
00:59:09,827 --> 00:59:11,422
light.
1129
00:59:11,507 --> 00:59:14,042
And most importantly of all,
1130
00:59:14,127 --> 00:59:18,212
the amber nectar
of the gods, petrol.
1131
00:59:20,227 --> 00:59:23,002
JEREMY: Oil is so important
here, in fact,
1132
00:59:23,087 --> 00:59:26,612
they've built a spa
where you can bathe in it.
1133
00:59:28,587 --> 00:59:31,922
It was like the wine spa
we found in Georgia,
1134
00:59:32,007 --> 00:59:35,282
apart from in every way.
1135
00:59:35,367 --> 00:59:37,942
(BUBBLING)
1136
00:59:38,027 --> 00:59:40,962
- Is that really crude oil?
- Yeah.
1137
00:59:41,047 --> 00:59:43,162
I feel like a guillemot.
1138
00:59:43,247 --> 00:59:44,342
(LAUGHS)
1139
00:59:44,427 --> 00:59:46,862
Any minute now some woman
with hairy armpits
1140
00:59:46,947 --> 00:59:49,802
will take me to a yurt and
wash me down with Fairy Liquid
1141
00:59:49,887 --> 00:59:51,154
and say,
"Look what we found."
1142
00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:53,422
- Where's our baths?
- We've only got the one bath.
1143
00:59:53,507 --> 00:59:54,842
You're not getting in here
with me.
1144
00:59:54,927 --> 00:59:56,602
Well, I'm not
getting in after you.
1145
00:59:56,687 --> 00:59:58,482
- Why not?
- Are you kidding?
1146
00:59:58,567 --> 01:00:02,652
Well, because that would be full
of your scabs and dandruff...
1147
01:00:04,867 --> 01:00:07,802
JEREMY: The next day,
after I'd been scraped clean,
1148
01:00:07,887 --> 01:00:10,772
we set off
for the Caspian Sea.
1149
01:00:13,307 --> 01:00:16,122
And since we were almost
at journey's end,
1150
01:00:16,207 --> 01:00:19,972
it felt like a good time
to sum up our cars.
1151
01:00:22,427 --> 01:00:24,442
All the things a car
has to excel at
1152
01:00:24,527 --> 01:00:27,102
to be a good GT car,
1153
01:00:27,187 --> 01:00:30,182
luxury, comfort,
power, style,
1154
01:00:30,267 --> 01:00:33,142
make for just
a good car of any sort.
1155
01:00:33,227 --> 01:00:35,562
And this new Bentley
Continental GT
1156
01:00:35,647 --> 01:00:39,462
is a very, very,
very good GT car.
1157
01:00:39,547 --> 01:00:43,022
But it has surprised me
beyond that.
1158
01:00:43,107 --> 01:00:47,922
At the track, when two and a quarter
tonnes of car felt nimble and agile.
1159
01:00:48,007 --> 01:00:51,962
But above all else
it's about this interior.
1160
01:00:52,047 --> 01:00:57,102
This is just a nicer place to
be than anywhere else.
1161
01:00:57,187 --> 01:01:01,062
Got to say it...
This thing is a masterpiece.
1162
01:01:01,147 --> 01:01:03,622
They've absolutely nailed it.
1163
01:01:03,707 --> 01:01:06,332
And it deserves to wear
its flying B.
1164
01:01:07,067 --> 01:01:09,412
What a thing.
1165
01:01:17,667 --> 01:01:21,062
So, my BMW. Now, when
we started this trip,
1166
01:01:21,147 --> 01:01:23,742
I merely thought
it was rather good.
1167
01:01:23,827 --> 01:01:26,902
But now... I'm pretty much
in love with it.
1168
01:01:26,987 --> 01:01:31,342
And most of that, to be honest,
is because of that V8 engine.
1169
01:01:31,427 --> 01:01:33,942
It's smooth,
it's quiet, it's unobtrusive,
1170
01:01:34,027 --> 01:01:37,442
but then you just knock it down a
few and give it a bit of shoe...
1171
01:01:37,527 --> 01:01:38,582
(REVS)
1172
01:01:38,667 --> 01:01:40,362
See? It becomes sonorous.
1173
01:01:40,447 --> 01:01:42,622
Its voice becomes
more heartfelt
1174
01:01:42,707 --> 01:01:45,762
and it tingles through the steering
wheel and through my buttocks.
1175
01:01:45,847 --> 01:01:47,062
It's lovely.
1176
01:01:47,147 --> 01:01:48,422
And the other thing...
1177
01:01:48,507 --> 01:01:50,262
And I know this is
going to sound
1178
01:01:50,347 --> 01:01:52,482
a little bit sort of
#FirstWorldConsideration
1179
01:01:52,567 --> 01:01:56,582
but it's only £100,000.
1180
01:01:56,667 --> 01:02:00,922
Considerably less than half
the price of the Aston Martin.
1181
01:02:01,007 --> 01:02:04,412
It also looks better
and it's made by Germans.
1182
01:02:05,307 --> 01:02:06,707
Buy this.
1183
01:02:15,227 --> 01:02:17,542
JEREMY:
It's been a great trip, this.
1184
01:02:17,627 --> 01:02:19,802
A couple of things
we've learned on the way...
1185
01:02:19,887 --> 01:02:23,106
No.1, Georgia, hidden gem.
1186
01:02:23,192 --> 01:02:24,727
Tbilisi in particular.
1187
01:02:24,951 --> 01:02:29,252
And No.2, pottery is much
sharper than you might imagine.
1188
01:02:30,787 --> 01:02:35,022
Then there's the DBS
and that is tricky.
1189
01:02:35,107 --> 01:02:38,122
It is as fast as hell
and it's comfortable
1190
01:02:38,207 --> 01:02:41,662
and it looks sensational.
1191
01:02:41,747 --> 01:02:43,762
It's a hugely appealing car
1192
01:02:43,847 --> 01:02:50,492
but is it worth £70,000 more than
the also hugely appealing DB11?
1193
01:02:52,147 --> 01:02:54,492
And I don't think it is.
1194
01:02:56,427 --> 01:02:58,062
I just don't think it is.
1195
01:02:58,147 --> 01:03:01,962
Maybe if they'd fitted an interior
that made you feel special
1196
01:03:02,047 --> 01:03:04,578
like the interior does
in the Bentley,
1197
01:03:04,726 --> 01:03:07,562
I'd have a different view,
but they didn't.
1198
01:03:07,647 --> 01:03:10,292
So I don't. Sorry.
1199
01:03:12,387 --> 01:03:16,082
JEREMY: After a stunning drive
through the tip of the Caucasus,
1200
01:03:16,167 --> 01:03:21,572
we eventually arrived in the
jaw-dropping capital of Azerbaijan.
1201
01:03:30,907 --> 01:03:32,402
Here we are. Baku,
1202
01:03:32,487 --> 01:03:36,772
where there is, let's be
honest, some architecture.
1203
01:03:39,947 --> 01:03:42,292
I mean, look at that.
1204
01:03:43,987 --> 01:03:45,982
A British architect
did that,
1205
01:03:46,067 --> 01:03:48,482
my favouritest building
in the world
1206
01:03:48,567 --> 01:03:50,892
by a long way.
1207
01:03:53,507 --> 01:03:56,525
These cars are now looking...
well, I'd call them heroic.
1208
01:03:56,611 --> 01:03:58,533
James would say disgusting.
1209
01:03:58,626 --> 01:04:03,382
James May, how annoyed are you
by the dirtiness of your car?
1210
01:04:03,467 --> 01:04:05,682
-(LAUGHS) - I was just saying
that we're in disgrace.
1211
01:04:05,767 --> 01:04:08,142
Because this is a shiny,
spangly city.
1212
01:04:08,227 --> 01:04:10,202
We should make our cars
shiny and spangly.
1213
01:04:10,287 --> 01:04:12,462
It only takes a minute
to clean them.
1214
01:04:12,547 --> 01:04:14,042
These look like
they've done work
1215
01:04:14,127 --> 01:04:16,452
and battled
and fought through.
1216
01:04:17,467 --> 01:04:19,812
- No, they look dirty.
-(LAUGHS)
1217
01:04:26,547 --> 01:04:30,492
Ooh, hello. This is a bit of
the Grand Prix track.
1218
01:04:31,907 --> 01:04:34,042
Of course, they have the
Grand Prix here now.
1219
01:04:34,127 --> 01:04:37,942
Why don't we do a lap
of the Grand Prix track?
1220
01:04:38,027 --> 01:04:41,802
Well, because I doubt you can.
It's not just a track, is it?
1221
01:04:41,887 --> 01:04:45,762
Well, why don't we do a drag
race on the main straight?
1222
01:04:45,847 --> 01:04:50,042
Because it's a city. You
can't just do a drag race.
1223
01:04:50,127 --> 01:04:52,772
What if we asked
really nicely?
1224
01:04:55,147 --> 01:04:59,582
As Hammond didn't have an answer
to that, I did ask really nicely.
1225
01:04:59,667 --> 01:05:03,202
And the next day they really
did close off the main straight.
1226
01:05:03,287 --> 01:05:07,132
So we could have
our important drag race.
1227
01:05:09,787 --> 01:05:11,707
(REVVING)
1228
01:05:13,187 --> 01:05:15,982
The Aston should
absolutely cream this.
1229
01:05:16,067 --> 01:05:18,811
On paper it's faster to 60
and it's more powerful.
1230
01:05:18,897 --> 01:05:20,194
And it's lighter.
1231
01:05:20,280 --> 01:05:23,652
But it's rear-wheel drive
and it's a wet track.
1232
01:05:24,947 --> 01:05:28,822
I have four-wheel drive
and launch control.
1233
01:05:28,907 --> 01:05:32,412
My only slight worry is
James has got them as well.
1234
01:05:35,387 --> 01:05:38,402
Here's my prediction. Their four-wheel
drive systems and launch controls
1235
01:05:38,487 --> 01:05:40,842
will get them
off the line quickly.
1236
01:05:40,927 --> 01:05:45,492
And then once I've got the power
down, I'll just become a missile.
1237
01:05:49,747 --> 01:05:52,042
This is not a race
to see who wins.
1238
01:05:52,127 --> 01:05:55,802
It's a race to see which one
of my colleagues loses.
1239
01:05:55,887 --> 01:05:57,787
(REVVING)
1240
01:05:58,859 --> 01:06:01,204
OK, here we go.
1241
01:06:11,067 --> 01:06:13,412
And we are away!
1242
01:06:14,507 --> 01:06:16,852
Can't get the power down.
1243
01:06:17,907 --> 01:06:19,782
Whoa!
1244
01:06:19,867 --> 01:06:23,972
Oh, I feel it slithering, that
four-wheel drive doing its job.
1245
01:06:25,666 --> 01:06:29,259
Whoa! OK...
1246
01:06:31,307 --> 01:06:34,532
Bentley's reeling me in. I
don't think he's going to do it.
1247
01:06:35,467 --> 01:06:37,812
Come on, BMW.
1248
01:06:38,787 --> 01:06:41,062
Yes! (LAUGHS)
1249
01:06:41,147 --> 01:06:43,302
Where's Jeremy gone?
1250
01:06:43,387 --> 01:06:46,995
Interesting building here.
It's a government building.
1251
01:06:47,151 --> 01:06:48,976
I'm just going to
have a look at it.
1252
01:06:50,035 --> 01:06:52,110
Yeah, nice.
1253
01:06:52,547 --> 01:06:57,652
Having looked at the building,
I decided to have another go.
1254
01:07:00,747 --> 01:07:04,322
But still the Aston
would not behave.
1255
01:07:04,407 --> 01:07:06,622
Oh, my...
1256
01:07:06,707 --> 01:07:08,707
Oh, jeez.
1257
01:07:13,347 --> 01:07:15,267
Victory!
1258
01:07:18,107 --> 01:07:19,882
So is it just
all over the place?
1259
01:07:19,967 --> 01:07:24,262
I'm using about a quarter
throttle and it's sideways.
1260
01:07:24,347 --> 01:07:26,702
(LAUGHS)
It's not brilliant, is it?
1261
01:07:26,787 --> 01:07:30,442
Well done for getting permission
but not so good on the weather.
1262
01:07:30,527 --> 01:07:34,202
I therefore decided that
before we tried again,
1263
01:07:34,287 --> 01:07:37,422
I should do something
about the weather.
1264
01:07:37,507 --> 01:07:40,122
So I got us
and all our crew vehicles
1265
01:07:40,207 --> 01:07:44,212
to drive up and down the
track to try and dry it out.
1266
01:07:45,147 --> 01:07:48,422
This took quite a while.
1267
01:07:48,507 --> 01:07:52,122
RICHARD ON RADIO: Jeremy, on that
first run, did some poo come out?
1268
01:07:52,207 --> 01:07:56,402
Difficult to keep the poo in when
your anus is as well oiled as mine.
1269
01:07:56,487 --> 01:08:00,142
How dry are we going to be
able to get this track?
1270
01:08:00,227 --> 01:08:02,182
JEREMY: It's drying out
on James' side.
1271
01:08:02,267 --> 01:08:04,042
If we do another run
with me there...
1272
01:08:04,127 --> 01:08:07,002
- Be all right.
- Well, it's hardly real world, is it,
1273
01:08:07,087 --> 01:08:10,772
choosing which bit of the road you
drive on to make your car faster.
1274
01:08:13,547 --> 01:08:16,402
As that is in fact exactly
what you do in a race,
1275
01:08:16,487 --> 01:08:18,642
I ignored him
and lined up
1276
01:08:18,727 --> 01:08:22,172
for our third attempt
on the dry line.
1277
01:08:23,787 --> 01:08:27,362
So, BMW, Bentley or
the surface-to-air missile.
1278
01:08:27,447 --> 01:08:29,812
Which will win?
1279
01:08:36,587 --> 01:08:38,467
Amber.
1280
01:08:42,147 --> 01:08:44,492
JEREMY: Ohh!
1281
01:08:45,427 --> 01:08:47,812
It's a great start.
1282
01:08:48,907 --> 01:08:51,802
Jesus! It's still doing it.
1283
01:08:51,887 --> 01:08:54,212
80mph, 90mph.
1284
01:08:55,387 --> 01:08:56,962
Oh, it's going
sideways again.
1285
01:08:57,047 --> 01:08:58,942
Oh, my...
1286
01:08:59,027 --> 01:09:00,947
Ohh!
1287
01:09:02,387 --> 01:09:04,307
Oh, jeez!
1288
01:09:05,867 --> 01:09:08,892
- Reel him in, reel him in.
- Come on, BMW.
1289
01:09:10,627 --> 01:09:13,010
Oh, bugger!
1290
01:09:13,119 --> 01:09:15,982
(LAUGHS)
1291
01:09:16,067 --> 01:09:20,962
Well, there we are. The Aston was by
far the most exciting to look at there.
1292
01:09:21,047 --> 01:09:22,182
As usual.
1293
01:09:22,267 --> 01:09:24,532
So now let's get some lunch.
1294
01:09:32,027 --> 01:09:35,692
And moments later
we found our grail.
1295
01:09:38,711 --> 01:09:41,485
There we are, look, 50
feet below sea level
1296
01:09:41,571 --> 01:09:44,124
and we have arrived
at journey's end.
1297
01:09:44,649 --> 01:09:46,862
The Caspian.
1298
01:09:46,947 --> 01:09:52,012
The largest inland body of
water in the world.
1299
01:09:55,387 --> 01:09:57,962
Our journey is complete.
1300
01:09:58,047 --> 01:10:00,372
Let's get a bream.
1301
01:10:12,427 --> 01:10:14,982
A bream's fish?
1302
01:10:15,067 --> 01:10:17,682
No, Hammond, they're cows.
Of course they're fish!
1303
01:10:17,767 --> 01:10:19,702
I don't like fish.
1304
01:10:19,787 --> 01:10:22,802
- Well, on that terrible disappointment...
- For him.
1305
01:10:22,887 --> 01:10:25,212
Mm...back to the tent.
1306
01:10:25,987 --> 01:10:28,542
-(CHOKES)
-(LAUGHTER)
1307
01:10:28,627 --> 01:10:31,042
Why did you say "Back to
the tent," you idiot?
1308
01:10:31,127 --> 01:10:34,122
Um... Oh, right, um...
It just slipped...
1309
01:10:34,207 --> 01:10:36,542
- I've got biscuit.
-(LAUGHTER)
1310
01:10:36,627 --> 01:10:39,762
- You don't do that.
- It slipped out. -Never do that.
1311
01:10:39,847 --> 01:10:43,322
It gives us a chance at least
to say how good GT cars are.
1312
01:10:43,407 --> 01:10:45,262
- I love them.
- Mm.
1313
01:10:45,347 --> 01:10:47,102
Engine at the front and all
the power you need.
1314
01:10:47,187 --> 01:10:48,362
They're everything
you want in a car.
1315
01:10:48,447 --> 01:10:50,362
I agree. The BMW
was the best as well.
1316
01:10:50,447 --> 01:10:51,662
- Eh?
- Yes, but, James,
1317
01:10:51,747 --> 01:10:53,042
why don't you tell
the ladies and gentlemen
1318
01:10:53,127 --> 01:10:56,182
about the BMW's
lane departure system?
1319
01:10:56,267 --> 01:10:59,262
You know, the one that keeps you in the
white lines when you're driving along.
1320
01:10:59,347 --> 01:11:01,565
Yeah, well, the thing is,
it was a pre-production car.
1321
01:11:01,651 --> 01:11:03,599
It had a slight glitch in it.
You couldn't turn it off.
1322
01:11:03,685 --> 01:11:05,841
And it's quite annoying on
the road because it does that.
1323
01:11:05,927 --> 01:11:09,782
But on the track, the problem is
that you aim for a perfect apex
1324
01:11:09,867 --> 01:11:12,582
but the car thinks, he's
about to have an accident.
1325
01:11:12,667 --> 01:11:14,882
It just throws you back into
the middle of the track again.
1326
01:11:14,967 --> 01:11:16,522
-(LAUGHTER)
- It was extremely irritating.
1327
01:11:16,607 --> 01:11:19,642
There was that, which you moaned
about a lot, and the gearbox.
1328
01:11:19,727 --> 01:11:21,702
Yeah, the gearbox, well...
(LAUGHS)
1329
01:11:21,787 --> 01:11:25,502
The problem there is, the display
on the dash, there's two of them.
1330
01:11:25,587 --> 01:11:27,624
One of them says what
gear you've selected...
1331
01:11:27,710 --> 01:11:28,470
Mm.
1332
01:11:28,556 --> 01:11:31,782
...but the other one says what gear
the car thinks you should be in.
1333
01:11:31,867 --> 01:11:33,477
So, again on the track,
you'll be driving along,
1334
01:11:33,563 --> 01:11:34,682
going, here comes
a left-hand bend...
1335
01:11:34,767 --> 01:11:36,302
(IMITATES CHANGING DOWN)
1336
01:11:36,387 --> 01:11:39,322
right down to second and
the car would go, seventh?
1337
01:11:39,407 --> 01:11:41,262
(LAUGHTER)
1338
01:11:41,347 --> 01:11:43,522
- That is annoying.
- It's basically just Germans
1339
01:11:43,607 --> 01:11:45,522
saying, "The Englander
knows nothing here."
1340
01:11:45,607 --> 01:11:46,982
-(LAUGHTER)
- Exactly.
1341
01:11:47,067 --> 01:11:48,779
But it was bloody fast,
the BMW.
1342
01:11:48,865 --> 01:11:49,791
It was excellent.
1343
01:11:49,877 --> 01:11:51,638
But I still think the
Bentley was the best.
1344
01:11:51,724 --> 01:11:53,322
- It was the best.
- I agree.
1345
01:11:53,407 --> 01:11:54,902
- What?
- I agree.
1346
01:11:54,987 --> 01:11:56,322
Look, I really like
the DBS, OK?
1347
01:11:56,407 --> 01:11:57,742
It was a fantastic car.
1348
01:11:57,827 --> 01:11:59,162
I like the DB11 as well.
1349
01:11:59,247 --> 01:12:00,362
And the Vantage.
1350
01:12:00,447 --> 01:12:03,182
But for doing that journey...
1351
01:12:03,267 --> 01:12:05,162
- I'd choose the Bentley.
- Wait a minute,
1352
01:12:05,247 --> 01:12:08,842
haven't you just recommended the
Aston Martin DBS to a friend of yours?
1353
01:12:08,927 --> 01:12:10,642
- Yes, I have.
-(LAUGHTER)
1354
01:12:10,727 --> 01:12:14,282
- And has he since bought one?
- Yes, he has.
1355
01:12:14,367 --> 01:12:15,422
(LAUGHTER)
1356
01:12:15,507 --> 01:12:17,442
And on that terrible
disappointment, for him,
1357
01:12:17,527 --> 01:12:20,461
it's time to end. Thank you
so much for watching. Goodbye!
1358
01:12:20,547 --> 01:12:22,602
(CHEERING)
1359
01:12:24,787 --> 01:12:27,248
(AUDIENCE MEMBER WHISTLES)
1360
01:12:51,670 --> 01:12:54,933
Sync corrections by srjanapala
105369
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