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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,902 --> 00:00:07,529 Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers. 2 00:00:07,554 --> 00:00:09,045 It's really comin' down out there. 3 00:00:09,070 --> 00:00:10,789 Now, I'm not a licensed meteorologist, 4 00:00:10,814 --> 00:00:13,662 but I believe the technical term is snowy AF. 5 00:00:13,687 --> 00:00:15,654 For anyone stocking up, we are limiting 6 00:00:15,679 --> 00:00:18,209 all water purchases to one case per person, 7 00:00:18,234 --> 00:00:20,420 and that does include coconut water, 8 00:00:20,445 --> 00:00:22,684 watermelon water, cucumber water, 9 00:00:22,686 --> 00:00:24,786 aloe water, probiotic water, 10 00:00:24,788 --> 00:00:25,787 and electric water, 11 00:00:25,789 --> 00:00:27,265 which is something I just made up 12 00:00:27,290 --> 00:00:29,123 but you probably got all excited about. 13 00:00:29,148 --> 00:00:31,993 And if anybody lost a blue hair thingie, 14 00:00:31,995 --> 00:00:34,462 please come pick it up at customer service. 15 00:00:34,464 --> 00:00:36,046 Oh, that's mine! 16 00:00:36,071 --> 00:00:37,265 What? 17 00:00:40,524 --> 00:00:45,382 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com 18 00:00:53,742 --> 00:00:56,185 The snow is already at my knees 19 00:00:56,210 --> 00:00:58,287 and shows no signs of slowing. 20 00:00:58,312 --> 00:01:01,287 I know it doesn't look very high, but, once again, 21 00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:04,873 I'm 6'7", so it would be above the waist 22 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,677 of a normal size person. 23 00:01:06,702 --> 00:01:08,630 So much for global warming. 24 00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:11,769 Actually, this... this is direct proof of the... 25 00:01:11,794 --> 00:01:13,972 nope, I'm not gonna take the bait. 26 00:01:13,997 --> 00:01:15,457 I knew this blizzard was coming a week ago 27 00:01:15,482 --> 00:01:17,588 'cause my macaw started having diarrhea. 28 00:01:17,590 --> 00:01:20,708 Don't all birds diarrhea all the time? 29 00:01:20,710 --> 00:01:21,776 Not like this. 30 00:01:22,232 --> 00:01:23,238 - Hey, Glenn? - Mm-hmm? 31 00:01:23,263 --> 00:01:25,441 Um, it's really bad out there. 32 00:01:25,466 --> 00:01:27,398 Do you think maybe we could all go home early? 33 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,402 Well, we're supposed to stay open till 11:00. 34 00:01:29,427 --> 00:01:31,637 Come on, the only people left in the store are us 35 00:01:31,662 --> 00:01:33,154 and a few sample suckers. 36 00:01:33,156 --> 00:01:34,355 Okay, you know what, yeah, 37 00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:36,458 I could give corporate a call, sure. 38 00:01:36,593 --> 00:01:38,355 So much for global warming, huh? 39 00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:40,137 It's not... it's not global warming. 40 00:01:40,162 --> 00:01:41,254 - It's climate change. - Shh. 41 00:01:41,279 --> 00:01:43,427 No, but, if anything, this is proof... 42 00:01:43,607 --> 00:01:44,953 - Shh. - This... 43 00:01:48,556 --> 00:01:49,786 Jerry. 44 00:01:50,106 --> 00:01:51,706 Sandra, hi. 45 00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:54,396 Hi. What are you... 46 00:01:54,421 --> 00:01:57,073 Oh, you are a lifesaver. 47 00:01:57,547 --> 00:01:58,946 Mmm. 48 00:01:58,948 --> 00:02:00,581 I ran out of vape juice. 49 00:02:01,185 --> 00:02:02,566 It's really bad out there. 50 00:02:02,591 --> 00:02:04,683 I hit some ice and almost skidded into a pet cem... 51 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,704 Oh, this is cotton candy. 52 00:02:06,706 --> 00:02:08,956 I asked you for candy cane. 53 00:02:09,926 --> 00:02:10,882 Oh, sorry. 54 00:02:11,528 --> 00:02:12,417 Whatever. 55 00:02:12,442 --> 00:02:14,241 I guess I don't matter. 56 00:02:17,381 --> 00:02:18,074 Bye. 57 00:02:18,577 --> 00:02:19,628 Bye. 58 00:02:23,565 --> 00:02:25,259 Oh, you look so sad right now. 59 00:02:25,284 --> 00:02:26,917 It's, like, haunting. 60 00:02:27,243 --> 00:02:28,710 Can I take your picture? 61 00:02:29,239 --> 00:02:30,102 Okay. 62 00:02:32,323 --> 00:02:34,734 Oh, now you just look like a sad clown. 63 00:02:35,207 --> 00:02:36,084 I can do it. 64 00:02:36,086 --> 00:02:37,820 No, it's fine. The moment's passed. 65 00:02:38,221 --> 00:02:40,642 It is really coming down out there, 66 00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:43,243 and I'm worried about people making it home safely. 67 00:02:43,268 --> 00:02:44,892 Oh, of course, the most important thing 68 00:02:44,894 --> 00:02:46,260 is the safety of our employees. 69 00:02:46,262 --> 00:02:48,362 Exactly, so, uh, I was hoping 70 00:02:48,387 --> 00:02:50,887 I could let everyone go a little early? 71 00:02:51,044 --> 00:02:53,354 Oh, wouldn't that be such a sweet gesture? 72 00:02:54,011 --> 00:02:55,920 Uh-huh, it... it would be, yes. 73 00:02:55,922 --> 00:02:57,939 Well, if you need anything at all, 74 00:02:57,941 --> 00:02:59,073 we're here for you and, uh, 75 00:02:59,075 --> 00:03:01,291 we will be right up until closing time. 76 00:03:01,995 --> 00:03:04,380 So you're saying we can't leave? 77 00:03:04,892 --> 00:03:07,890 I'm saying we appreciate your commitment to stay. 78 00:03:08,542 --> 00:03:09,524 Thank you. 79 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:19,368 Attention, all remaining customers. 80 00:03:19,393 --> 00:03:22,196 The governor has declared a state of emergency. 81 00:03:22,221 --> 00:03:25,955 Customers are advised to get home before conditions worsen, 82 00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:28,919 which begs the question, what about employees 83 00:03:28,944 --> 00:03:32,012 who also drive cars and also have families 84 00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:34,604 and/or video games to get home to? 85 00:03:35,589 --> 00:03:37,524 Yeah, I... I checked on that, 86 00:03:37,525 --> 00:03:40,745 and corporate would like us to stay until closing so... 87 00:03:41,483 --> 00:03:43,216 Glenn, this is crazy. 88 00:03:43,336 --> 00:03:44,502 It's really bad out there. 89 00:03:44,504 --> 00:03:45,636 Oh, I don't know. 90 00:03:45,638 --> 00:03:48,214 Maybe it's starting to lighten up a bit. 91 00:03:48,239 --> 00:03:50,201 No, actually, it's getting worse. 92 00:03:50,226 --> 00:03:52,710 Uh, they're calling it the snow-poca-blizz. 93 00:03:52,712 --> 00:03:54,178 Oh, wait, nope, that's just some guy on Twitter 94 00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:55,312 trying to get it going. 95 00:03:55,314 --> 00:03:57,767 Okay, well, you know, I'll try 'em again. 96 00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:01,619 Oh, no, no, no, Glenn, no, that's... 97 00:04:01,621 --> 00:04:03,421 you're still using the intercom phone. 98 00:04:04,401 --> 00:04:05,568 - Ow! - Put it down. 99 00:04:05,569 --> 00:04:07,141 Oh, phooey to corporate. 100 00:04:07,143 --> 00:04:08,826 Let's just get outta here. 101 00:04:08,828 --> 00:04:10,594 You heard the man, go, go! 102 00:04:10,596 --> 00:04:13,124 Okay, before you go, can you unlock the razor case? 103 00:04:13,399 --> 00:04:15,683 I don't know why you guys lock up the razor blades. 104 00:04:16,417 --> 00:04:18,369 They're actually one of the most shoplifted items, 105 00:04:18,371 --> 00:04:19,787 high-ticket and easy to pocket. 106 00:04:19,789 --> 00:04:22,057 People also steal name-brand detergent, 107 00:04:22,082 --> 00:04:23,800 condoms, baby formula. 108 00:04:23,825 --> 00:04:26,054 You wouldn't think it, but they sell it and buy heroin. 109 00:04:26,079 --> 00:04:28,698 Pretty grim. Anyway, happy to help. 110 00:04:29,459 --> 00:04:31,221 Holy moly! 111 00:04:31,246 --> 00:04:33,159 It is the snow-poca-blizz! 112 00:04:33,198 --> 00:04:35,164 It is colder than the critical reception 113 00:04:35,165 --> 00:04:36,787 of Drake's last album! 114 00:04:36,789 --> 00:04:39,757 That's what you said when we came out here last night! 115 00:04:39,759 --> 00:04:40,925 Shut up. None of them heard it! 116 00:04:40,927 --> 00:04:42,660 You guys think the bus is running 117 00:04:42,662 --> 00:04:44,190 on its regular schedule? 118 00:04:44,215 --> 00:04:45,447 I doubt it! 119 00:04:45,472 --> 00:04:47,491 But maybe we can split an Uber! 120 00:04:47,492 --> 00:04:49,224 I can't see my car! 121 00:04:49,225 --> 00:04:50,835 I lost one of my shoes! 122 00:04:50,837 --> 00:04:52,837 Maybe we should go back inside! 123 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,040 No, we just have to get to our cars! 124 00:04:55,041 --> 00:04:56,647 Oh, there's surge pricing! 125 00:04:56,648 --> 00:04:58,309 I lost my other shoe! 126 00:04:58,311 --> 00:05:00,444 It costs $1,400! 127 00:05:00,446 --> 00:05:02,627 Okay, we have to go back inside! 128 00:05:02,628 --> 00:05:04,079 We're gonna die out here! 129 00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,950 It is colder than the critical reception 130 00:05:05,952 --> 00:05:08,085 of Justin Timberlake's last album! 131 00:05:08,087 --> 00:05:10,588 We heard you the first time! 132 00:05:12,471 --> 00:05:13,731 Well, I just heard an update 133 00:05:13,732 --> 00:05:17,431 on KFR-AM 520 with Bill Mudd, the Weather Stud... 134 00:05:17,456 --> 00:05:19,380 who, by the way, if you go to their website, 135 00:05:19,382 --> 00:05:20,860 is far from studly. 136 00:05:20,885 --> 00:05:22,216 Oh, his eyes are on the side of his head. 137 00:05:22,241 --> 00:05:23,357 - I know. - Yeah. 138 00:05:23,944 --> 00:05:26,721 Anyway, it looks as though we are stuck here tonight. 139 00:05:26,723 --> 00:05:27,722 - Oh! - What? 140 00:05:27,724 --> 00:05:28,723 - What? - Come on. 141 00:05:28,725 --> 00:05:29,838 So because corporate 142 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:31,509 couldn't let us home a tad bit earlier, 143 00:05:31,511 --> 00:05:33,761 now I can't get home to my children? 144 00:05:34,142 --> 00:05:36,097 I thought Adam has the kids tonight. 145 00:05:36,599 --> 00:05:39,016 He does. I'm just trying to make a point. 146 00:05:39,018 --> 00:05:41,040 I was gonna host chili night tonight. 147 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,271 We were gonna host chili night tonight. 148 00:05:43,272 --> 00:05:44,709 Well, it's my apartment. 149 00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:46,092 You're just bringing the chili. 150 00:05:46,094 --> 00:05:47,446 The chili's the whole point. 151 00:05:47,471 --> 00:05:49,171 So we're just supposed to spend the night here 152 00:05:49,173 --> 00:05:50,089 like homeless people. 153 00:05:50,091 --> 00:05:53,285 Yes, this is the exact sleeping situation homeless people have. 154 00:05:53,569 --> 00:05:54,706 They wouldn't sleep here. 155 00:05:54,731 --> 00:05:56,864 This place is crawling with raccoons. 156 00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:59,150 I let a homeless guy use my bathroom once. 157 00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:01,020 Now he just does it when I'm not even home. 158 00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:04,037 Okay, we have no idea how long we're gonna be stuck here, 159 00:06:04,038 --> 00:06:05,937 so we need to ration our food. 160 00:06:05,938 --> 00:06:08,299 The less we eat up front, the longer we can go 161 00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:09,742 before we start eating each other later. 162 00:06:10,449 --> 00:06:11,852 Um, I have a child here. 163 00:06:11,853 --> 00:06:13,213 That is an amazing offer, 164 00:06:13,238 --> 00:06:15,664 but why don't we just try and get out of here alive 165 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:17,881 before we start eating the children, huh? 166 00:06:18,085 --> 00:06:19,785 I... I don't think it'll come to that. 167 00:06:19,787 --> 00:06:21,536 Let's just help ourselves to whatever we need: 168 00:06:21,537 --> 00:06:23,716 bedding, food, pajamas, you know. 169 00:06:23,888 --> 00:06:26,855 Mi casa is sues mos, wazzas. 170 00:06:26,856 --> 00:06:27,951 Cell phones are out. 171 00:06:28,296 --> 00:06:30,284 Do you have a landline I can call my family from? 172 00:06:30,285 --> 00:06:32,613 Oh, sure, yeah, you can use the phone at customer service. 173 00:06:32,614 --> 00:06:34,510 And can I also use it to call my mistress? 174 00:06:37,121 --> 00:06:39,598 Is... is... is... is she nice? 175 00:06:40,141 --> 00:06:41,075 She's okay. 176 00:06:41,726 --> 00:06:42,811 Well, that's good. 177 00:06:59,010 --> 00:07:01,677 So how have you been? 178 00:07:01,792 --> 00:07:02,672 Good. 179 00:07:03,775 --> 00:07:05,449 Carol doesn't let me eat sugar. 180 00:07:07,714 --> 00:07:08,637 Oh, cool. 181 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,563 You look good. 182 00:07:11,083 --> 00:07:11,927 Thanks. 183 00:07:14,237 --> 00:07:15,482 You look nice too. 184 00:07:16,295 --> 00:07:17,350 Thanks. 185 00:07:19,846 --> 00:07:22,312 I was thinking about getting bangs, 186 00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:24,625 but I didn't. 187 00:07:26,129 --> 00:07:27,033 Hmm. 188 00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:32,435 Where should I set up my stuff? 189 00:07:32,436 --> 00:07:34,258 Oh, anywhere is fine. 190 00:07:34,259 --> 00:07:35,444 Are you crazy? 191 00:07:35,446 --> 00:07:36,445 You know that we're liable 192 00:07:36,447 --> 00:07:38,620 for any assaults that take place tonight, right? 193 00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:39,716 I... 194 00:07:39,717 --> 00:07:41,750 Now, you need to set up in the very center of the floor, okay? 195 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:43,372 We need to keep the hotties in the middle, 196 00:07:43,373 --> 00:07:44,353 make them harder to get to. 197 00:07:44,354 --> 00:07:46,519 That's how wolves protect their hottest wolves. 198 00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:47,591 Okay. 199 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,625 Listen, I'm gonna do everything in my power 200 00:07:49,627 --> 00:07:52,211 to make sure you make it through the night alive, okay? 201 00:07:52,487 --> 00:07:53,877 Oh, all right, thanks, Dina. 202 00:07:54,921 --> 00:07:56,269 You know, we should really tie bells 203 00:07:56,294 --> 00:07:58,377 to some of the creeps so we can hear them coming. 204 00:07:59,877 --> 00:08:01,493 No, I'm not gonna make it tonight. 205 00:08:01,628 --> 00:08:04,121 Just enjoy the hotel room. Watch some HBO. 206 00:08:04,392 --> 00:08:06,616 Use all the blankets. Take 'em in the shower. 207 00:08:06,617 --> 00:08:08,152 Doesn't cost nothin'. 208 00:08:08,274 --> 00:08:10,042 Just nothing from the minibar. 209 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,580 See, this isn't so bad. 210 00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:19,633 It's like we're all having a big slumber party. 211 00:08:19,634 --> 00:08:21,710 Ooh, we should do a Ouija board. 212 00:08:21,711 --> 00:08:23,459 Nah, the only dead guy here is Sal, 213 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:24,743 and I don't want to talk to that dude. 214 00:08:24,745 --> 00:08:26,401 Oh, we could play Spin the Bottle. 215 00:08:26,402 --> 00:08:27,645 I'm awesome at Spin the Bottle. 216 00:08:27,646 --> 00:08:29,026 I can make it spin forever. 217 00:08:29,027 --> 00:08:30,067 It's like a wrist thing. 218 00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:31,446 All right, let's go around 219 00:08:31,447 --> 00:08:33,487 and each of us say how we lost our virginity. 220 00:08:33,488 --> 00:08:34,420 Oh, no, we don't need to do that. 221 00:08:34,422 --> 00:08:35,986 Okay, for me, it was Mark Benthis. 222 00:08:35,987 --> 00:08:37,278 He was this jock in high school, 223 00:08:37,279 --> 00:08:38,868 and I was tutoring him in English. 224 00:08:38,869 --> 00:08:40,392 So one day, he comes to my house 225 00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:42,250 to study after basketball practice 226 00:08:42,251 --> 00:08:45,747 and he's all sweaty and one thing leads to another. 227 00:08:46,173 --> 00:08:46,960 Alley-oop. 228 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:48,368 - Swish. - That's awesome. 229 00:08:48,393 --> 00:08:49,767 Did you guys date after that? 230 00:08:49,861 --> 00:08:51,665 No, he pretended not to know me, 231 00:08:51,666 --> 00:08:53,388 so I started tutoring him wrong. 232 00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:56,117 If he thought he was dyslexic before... 233 00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:57,752 - Oh. - Mine was 234 00:08:57,753 --> 00:08:59,748 a French foreign exchange student 235 00:08:59,749 --> 00:09:01,526 my family hosted when I was 16. 236 00:09:01,935 --> 00:09:06,052 After a couple weeks, it was avoir la petit Mort. 237 00:09:06,053 --> 00:09:07,420 Please tell me that means sex. 238 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:09,221 Uh, yes. 239 00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:11,816 Yes, awesome. Lucky girl. 240 00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,912 Jasmine Mendoza. 241 00:09:14,913 --> 00:09:16,103 - Oh? - Wow. 242 00:09:16,104 --> 00:09:17,875 I know. I was so freaked out afterwards, 243 00:09:17,876 --> 00:09:19,357 she had to take me to the emergency room. 244 00:09:20,111 --> 00:09:21,344 - Aww. - I'm crying. 245 00:09:21,345 --> 00:09:23,599 For me, it was Adam, duh. 246 00:09:23,866 --> 00:09:26,611 It was the night before his state wrestling championship, 247 00:09:26,612 --> 00:09:27,872 and he begged me because 248 00:09:27,873 --> 00:09:30,225 he didn't want to pop a boner during his match. 249 00:09:30,227 --> 00:09:31,394 So how'd he do? 250 00:09:31,395 --> 00:09:33,554 He broke his foot and lost his scholarship. 251 00:09:33,555 --> 00:09:34,296 Ouch. 252 00:09:34,297 --> 00:09:35,314 At least he didn't get a boner. 253 00:09:35,316 --> 00:09:36,999 No, he still did, actually. 254 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,405 To this day, he still calls that 255 00:09:38,406 --> 00:09:40,183 the week of boners that ruined his life. 256 00:09:41,025 --> 00:09:42,445 - Hmm. - All right, who's next? 257 00:09:42,470 --> 00:09:43,528 Sandra, you go. 258 00:09:45,862 --> 00:09:46,968 Um, what do we do 259 00:09:46,993 --> 00:09:49,886 if the person we did it with is here? 260 00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:06,018 Jesus, your feet are freezing. 261 00:10:06,043 --> 00:10:07,417 Come on. How 'bout now? 262 00:10:07,418 --> 00:10:10,235 No, I... they're like blocks of ice. 263 00:10:10,236 --> 00:10:11,778 Come on, that's your job. 264 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,018 - It's not my job. - Yes. 265 00:10:13,043 --> 00:10:14,060 Then I quit. 266 00:10:14,252 --> 00:10:15,320 - Stop. - It's freezing. 267 00:10:15,322 --> 00:10:18,830 Oh, so you guys are sharing a bed. 268 00:10:19,331 --> 00:10:21,587 That's so husband and wife. 269 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,437 Yeah, well, there... there weren't many mattresses. 270 00:10:23,438 --> 00:10:26,983 Oh, never mind, cool. Cool. 271 00:10:26,984 --> 00:10:28,102 It just... 272 00:10:28,103 --> 00:10:30,002 you know, could you not maybe... 273 00:10:31,693 --> 00:10:33,172 If you could avoid... 274 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:38,278 Having sex on an air mattress surrounded by our coworkers? 275 00:10:38,279 --> 00:10:40,232 We will try to contain ourselves. 276 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,029 Oh, okay, great, thank you. 277 00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:43,870 Good night. 278 00:10:50,243 --> 00:10:51,187 - Good night. - Huh? 279 00:10:52,255 --> 00:10:53,371 Jesus! 280 00:10:53,562 --> 00:10:54,888 Good night, Marcus. 281 00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:57,974 Ah. 282 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:06,974 No, Glenn, we're okay. 283 00:11:06,976 --> 00:11:08,225 - We don't... - Oh. 284 00:11:08,227 --> 00:11:10,537 - Oh. - Yeah, that's cozy. There we go. 285 00:11:10,562 --> 00:11:13,566 That is... that is comfortable. 286 00:11:23,993 --> 00:11:26,076 - Is this good? - No, Jerry. 287 00:11:26,078 --> 00:11:26,911 Sorry. 288 00:11:26,913 --> 00:11:30,125 Don't apologize. Just be better. 289 00:11:31,609 --> 00:11:33,358 Sandra, where are you going? 290 00:11:33,751 --> 00:11:35,334 I'm gonna sleep in the break room. 291 00:11:35,359 --> 00:11:36,710 Nobody moves after light's out. 292 00:11:36,735 --> 00:11:38,300 It's for Cheyenne's security. 293 00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:39,701 Oh, okay. 294 00:11:41,043 --> 00:11:42,676 Don't move your arms so much. 295 00:11:42,678 --> 00:11:43,884 Just lie there. 296 00:11:53,522 --> 00:11:54,404 Hey. 297 00:11:55,886 --> 00:11:57,102 Cheyenne, wake up. 298 00:11:57,503 --> 00:11:59,640 Rise and Cheyenne. 299 00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:01,873 Girl, wake up. 300 00:12:03,087 --> 00:12:05,255 Jesus, wake up, you ox! 301 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,510 I think our mattress deflated. 302 00:12:09,606 --> 00:12:11,492 Oh, is that what that sound was? 303 00:12:11,517 --> 00:12:14,405 I thought you were just continuously farting all night, 304 00:12:14,590 --> 00:12:16,011 which I thought was cute. 305 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,336 Mornin'. 306 00:12:18,361 --> 00:12:19,588 You guys want coffee? 307 00:12:20,409 --> 00:12:22,075 Um, no, that's... 308 00:12:22,077 --> 00:12:24,246 - No, I'm... penis. - We're okay. 309 00:12:24,247 --> 00:12:25,700 - Thanks. - All right. 310 00:12:30,059 --> 00:12:31,975 Oh, hey, do you guys wanna come for breakfast? 311 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,146 It's Thursday, so we're having waffle sticks 312 00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:36,889 and pancake rollovers and French toast poppers. 313 00:12:36,914 --> 00:12:38,519 Yeah, I think we've spent enough time 314 00:12:38,544 --> 00:12:40,286 with each other for a while. 315 00:12:43,552 --> 00:12:45,434 That is a lot of snow. 316 00:12:45,484 --> 00:12:47,434 Yes! I told you! 317 00:12:47,436 --> 00:12:49,180 I said we need to ration our food 318 00:12:49,181 --> 00:12:50,770 because we may be stuck in there for a while, 319 00:12:50,772 --> 00:12:52,439 but did any of you listen to me? 320 00:12:52,441 --> 00:12:55,358 Nope, and now we very well may starve to death. 321 00:12:56,265 --> 00:12:58,111 In your faces! 322 00:12:58,113 --> 00:12:59,913 Boom! Always right. 323 00:12:59,915 --> 00:13:01,638 Another one for the good guys. 324 00:13:03,535 --> 00:13:05,896 Sorry, baby, I'm just gonna be a few more hours. 325 00:13:05,921 --> 00:13:08,171 Um, hey, uh, don't eat the free breakfast 326 00:13:08,173 --> 00:13:09,756 and see if they'll credit it to the room. 327 00:13:09,945 --> 00:13:12,401 And, uh, you didn't do laundry, did you? 328 00:13:12,794 --> 00:13:14,135 Okay, mention that. 329 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,351 Would you mention that you didn't do any laundry? 330 00:13:19,518 --> 00:13:24,354 Okay, um, how about what is the most embarrassing way 331 00:13:24,356 --> 00:13:26,806 you've ever injured yourself? 332 00:13:26,808 --> 00:13:27,598 Go. 333 00:13:28,610 --> 00:13:31,561 Uh, about ten years ago, I tried to run a marathon, 334 00:13:31,563 --> 00:13:34,084 and I made it almost the entire way, 335 00:13:34,109 --> 00:13:36,282 but three feet before the finish line, 336 00:13:36,284 --> 00:13:38,451 I passed out from dehydration. 337 00:13:38,453 --> 00:13:40,036 Wait, how is that embarrassing? 338 00:13:40,038 --> 00:13:43,490 That's just bragging that you finished most of a marathon. 339 00:13:43,492 --> 00:13:45,458 I chipped my tooth biting a chocolate coin 340 00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:47,377 that turned out to just be a quarter. 341 00:13:47,379 --> 00:13:48,646 And then another time, 342 00:13:48,671 --> 00:13:51,631 I fell up an escalator when I was taking a selfie. 343 00:13:51,633 --> 00:13:54,490 I got my penis caught in my friend Russell's zipper. 344 00:13:54,515 --> 00:13:55,218 Oh. 345 00:13:55,547 --> 00:13:56,920 I'm sorry, I just gotta... 346 00:13:56,922 --> 00:13:58,476 where was Russell's penis? 347 00:13:58,507 --> 00:14:00,340 For a while, neither of us knew. 348 00:14:00,342 --> 00:14:02,425 I slipped in the shower once. 349 00:14:02,427 --> 00:14:04,010 That's not that embarrassing. 350 00:14:04,012 --> 00:14:04,804 Oh, yeah? 351 00:14:04,829 --> 00:14:07,280 'Cause I slipped on my own poop. 352 00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,315 - What? - Why? 353 00:14:09,787 --> 00:14:11,101 I had just deuced in the shower. 354 00:14:11,103 --> 00:14:12,685 - Ugh. - Ugh. 355 00:14:12,687 --> 00:14:13,499 Why? 356 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:15,522 Okay, right, when you guys are in the shower 357 00:14:15,524 --> 00:14:17,907 and you have to go, you just hold it. 358 00:14:17,909 --> 00:14:19,226 Yes. Yeah. 359 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:22,162 That's what you do when it's a number two. 360 00:14:22,164 --> 00:14:25,915 Sure, so you don't poop in the shower every morning 361 00:14:25,917 --> 00:14:27,617 and stamp it down the drain with your feet? 362 00:14:27,619 --> 00:14:28,945 Oh, my God. 363 00:14:28,946 --> 00:14:30,496 - Oh, my... - No. 364 00:14:30,497 --> 00:14:33,339 Okay, whatever. Screw you, snowflakes. 365 00:14:33,703 --> 00:14:35,092 Bunch of princesses. 366 00:14:44,339 --> 00:14:46,734 All right, we've narrowed it down to two choices: 367 00:14:46,859 --> 00:14:48,388 "Game of Thrones" season one 368 00:14:48,390 --> 00:14:49,826 or "Friends" season nine. 369 00:14:49,851 --> 00:14:51,357 Is that the season with Paul Rudd? 370 00:14:51,359 --> 00:14:53,059 Uh, I believe so, yeah. 371 00:14:53,061 --> 00:14:53,840 Pass. 372 00:14:53,841 --> 00:14:54,802 My son's six. 373 00:14:54,803 --> 00:14:56,279 "Game of Thrones" has too much nudity. 374 00:14:56,527 --> 00:14:57,776 I feel like both those shows 375 00:14:57,778 --> 00:14:59,278 have way too many white people. 376 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,104 Yeah, I got to agree. 377 00:15:00,105 --> 00:15:02,564 I watch TV as an escape, not to see more white people. 378 00:15:02,566 --> 00:15:05,359 Well, I could watch something with a little more diversity. 379 00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:07,035 How about "Empire"? 380 00:15:07,328 --> 00:15:09,019 Gonna start right in the deep end, huh? 381 00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:12,074 Guys, there are two DVDs: 382 00:15:12,076 --> 00:15:15,238 "Game of Thrones" season one, "Friends" season nine. 383 00:15:15,421 --> 00:15:16,253 That's it. 384 00:15:16,278 --> 00:15:18,145 It has to be one of those choices. 385 00:15:18,916 --> 00:15:19,998 You know, I've always wanted to watch 386 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,013 "Orange Is the New Black." 387 00:15:21,014 --> 00:15:21,847 I'd watch that. 388 00:15:21,848 --> 00:15:23,836 I thought you said your son couldn't watch nudity. 389 00:15:23,838 --> 00:15:25,250 He likes strong female leads. 390 00:15:26,597 --> 00:15:29,770 Just a little more color on your cheeks. 391 00:15:31,429 --> 00:15:32,188 There. 392 00:15:32,961 --> 00:15:33,898 How do I look? 393 00:15:34,936 --> 00:15:35,904 You look good. 394 00:15:37,281 --> 00:15:38,170 Really? 395 00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:40,211 I think he looks like his whore sister. 396 00:16:01,208 --> 00:16:04,221 Ah! 397 00:16:04,222 --> 00:16:05,544 Can you stop doing that? 398 00:16:05,546 --> 00:16:06,032 What? 399 00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:08,816 That "ah" you do every time you move. 400 00:16:08,817 --> 00:16:09,546 It bugs. 401 00:16:09,547 --> 00:16:11,382 I'm sorry. I didn't realize I did that. 402 00:16:11,669 --> 00:16:14,355 Let me know if I'm doing anything else that "bugs." 403 00:16:14,356 --> 00:16:16,972 Um, those bunny ears with your hands 404 00:16:16,974 --> 00:16:18,457 when you talk are annoying. 405 00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:19,633 Um, noted. 406 00:16:19,634 --> 00:16:22,868 Um, I'll try not to do anything else, um, annoying 407 00:16:22,869 --> 00:16:24,172 when I, um, talk. 408 00:16:24,173 --> 00:16:25,036 Thank you. 409 00:16:25,037 --> 00:16:26,565 He's making fun of you, Cheyenne, 410 00:16:26,567 --> 00:16:28,597 because he thinks he's better than everyone else here. 411 00:16:28,598 --> 00:16:31,234 Oh, I'm sorry, he thinks he's better than everyone? 412 00:16:31,572 --> 00:16:33,739 You're the one who walks into the break room every morning 413 00:16:33,741 --> 00:16:36,391 and says, "Good morning, turd people." 414 00:16:36,877 --> 00:16:38,257 It wasn't funny the first time. 415 00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,628 It's not supposed to be funny. 416 00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:41,846 It's supposed to make you feel bad for being turd people. 417 00:16:41,847 --> 00:16:43,194 Okay, guys, come on. 418 00:16:43,195 --> 00:16:45,314 Let's be nice to each other, you know. 419 00:16:45,315 --> 00:16:46,385 Spending all this time together 420 00:16:46,387 --> 00:16:48,187 can make us a little bit bonkers. 421 00:16:48,188 --> 00:16:48,845 It's true. 422 00:16:48,846 --> 00:16:51,047 Do you know how many murders happen on submarines? 423 00:16:51,048 --> 00:16:51,607 Okay, great. 424 00:16:51,608 --> 00:16:52,992 Well, then let's all stop annoying each other 425 00:16:52,993 --> 00:16:54,156 and nobody has to get hurt. 426 00:16:54,157 --> 00:16:57,095 What if we don't know what we're doing that's annoying? 427 00:16:57,097 --> 00:16:58,180 Paradox. 428 00:16:58,182 --> 00:17:00,518 Maybe we should go around and each say something 429 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,941 about someone that annoys us. 430 00:17:01,942 --> 00:17:04,105 Mm, that sounds like a real bad idea. 431 00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,488 "That sounds like a real bad idea." 432 00:17:06,490 --> 00:17:07,489 Who am I? 433 00:17:07,491 --> 00:17:09,242 Oh! Amy. Easy. 434 00:17:09,243 --> 00:17:11,442 Okay, fine, let's do this. 435 00:17:11,443 --> 00:17:14,504 Uh, Mateo, when you say "touch�," 436 00:17:14,529 --> 00:17:16,644 you sound like a douch�. 437 00:17:16,894 --> 00:17:17,775 Who's next? 438 00:17:25,081 --> 00:17:27,157 You don't know how to tell a story, Glenn. 439 00:17:27,158 --> 00:17:28,499 You get lost in the details, 440 00:17:28,501 --> 00:17:30,053 like whatever people were having for lunch. 441 00:17:30,054 --> 00:17:31,619 I am trying to paint a picture. 442 00:17:31,621 --> 00:17:34,598 Nobody cares if it doesn't impact the story. 443 00:17:34,599 --> 00:17:36,688 I hate Mateo's anticlimactic sneezes. 444 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,594 It's a lot of build-up for a tiny, little "achoo." 445 00:17:39,596 --> 00:17:41,664 Yeah, and it's always, like, three or four of them in a row. 446 00:17:41,665 --> 00:17:43,410 He just likes the attention. 447 00:17:43,411 --> 00:17:45,281 Isaac, you need to stop calling me brother. 448 00:17:45,282 --> 00:17:46,291 I don't do that. 449 00:17:46,292 --> 00:17:47,401 You do. I've heard it. 450 00:17:47,402 --> 00:17:49,702 Okay, maybe, but I don't do it to sound cool. 451 00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:50,939 I do it 'cause you're black. 452 00:17:50,941 --> 00:17:52,874 Garrett, your breath smells like farts, 453 00:17:52,876 --> 00:17:54,804 and your farts smell like food. 454 00:17:54,805 --> 00:17:55,893 You need to see a doctor. 455 00:17:55,895 --> 00:17:58,431 And, Marcus, why do you smell like sour milk? 456 00:17:58,432 --> 00:18:00,453 I eat cereal while I drive to work, 457 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,150 and most of the time, it spills. 458 00:18:02,152 --> 00:18:04,660 Dina, your voice is a smidge loud. 459 00:18:04,661 --> 00:18:06,582 Well, I'm so sorry that I have 460 00:18:06,583 --> 00:18:08,681 an unusually large diaphragm! 461 00:18:08,682 --> 00:18:10,501 That makes two of us! Up top! 462 00:18:10,502 --> 00:18:12,543 Get your [bleep]ing hand out of my face! 463 00:18:12,545 --> 00:18:13,774 Speaking of loud, 464 00:18:13,775 --> 00:18:15,229 when Amy chews chips, 465 00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:17,879 it sounds like she's eating a microphone. 466 00:18:20,837 --> 00:18:23,042 Aren't you just, like, a customer? 467 00:18:23,043 --> 00:18:25,103 Yeah, I'm Terry. 468 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,190 Hi, Terry. 469 00:18:26,191 --> 00:18:27,396 Shut the hell up. 470 00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:28,945 Yeah, you're not a part of this. 471 00:18:28,946 --> 00:18:29,912 This is Cloud 9. 472 00:18:29,913 --> 00:18:31,346 We don't give a damn what customers think. 473 00:18:31,348 --> 00:18:34,332 Yeah, why don't you go stew in softlines? 474 00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:35,984 - Bye-bye. - Yeah, get out of here. 475 00:18:35,986 --> 00:18:37,185 - Bye. - Okay, okay. 476 00:18:37,187 --> 00:18:38,353 Bye. 477 00:18:38,355 --> 00:18:39,621 Can you believe that guy, 478 00:18:39,622 --> 00:18:41,830 barging in here like he's part of the family? 479 00:18:41,831 --> 00:18:43,766 Guys, guys, who am I? 480 00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:45,279 "I'm Terry." 481 00:18:48,768 --> 00:18:51,532 Yeah, that's exactly what he sounds like. 482 00:18:51,534 --> 00:18:52,867 So good. 483 00:18:52,869 --> 00:18:54,657 Nailed it. 484 00:18:54,658 --> 00:18:57,327 Okay, so if I had to eat someone here, 485 00:18:57,328 --> 00:19:00,566 it would be... Glenn 486 00:19:00,591 --> 00:19:03,511 'cause he eats a lot of sugar, so he'd be the sweetest. 487 00:19:03,513 --> 00:19:04,489 Aw, thank you. 488 00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:06,446 My blood sugar is really high. 489 00:19:06,447 --> 00:19:07,715 I'm prediabetic. 490 00:19:07,717 --> 00:19:10,686 Personally, I wouldn't eat anyone over the age of 35. 491 00:19:10,687 --> 00:19:12,403 I know there's no expiration date on people, 492 00:19:12,428 --> 00:19:14,568 but that's when they start to turn. 493 00:19:15,825 --> 00:19:16,930 Oh, Jenga! 494 00:19:16,931 --> 00:19:17,942 - Yes! - Jenga! 495 00:19:17,944 --> 00:19:19,527 - That's a Jenga. - Yas, Jenga. 496 00:19:19,529 --> 00:19:21,112 - Cheers. - That's a Jenga. 497 00:19:21,114 --> 00:19:22,113 Nice. 498 00:19:25,068 --> 00:19:27,367 Okay, okay, well, it's a cherry cola. 499 00:19:27,787 --> 00:19:30,714 The acidity is too intense for Coca-Cola Cherry, 500 00:19:30,715 --> 00:19:33,479 and it's not quite full-bodied enough 501 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,201 to be Cloud 9 Cherry Splash. 502 00:19:36,792 --> 00:19:37,999 RC Cherry Cola. 503 00:19:38,503 --> 00:19:40,002 It's Bud Light Lime. 504 00:19:40,027 --> 00:19:41,527 Oh, yeah. 505 00:19:42,334 --> 00:19:43,506 Yeah, I'm getting that. 506 00:19:46,138 --> 00:19:47,212 Yes! 507 00:19:47,213 --> 00:19:48,604 How are you so good? 508 00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:51,091 You never golfed before, like, a year ago. 509 00:19:51,728 --> 00:19:52,775 I never big golfed, 510 00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,421 but I used to mini golf all the time. 511 00:19:54,814 --> 00:19:55,585 Big golfed? 512 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,075 Yeah. 513 00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:58,816 If we make it out of here alive, 514 00:19:58,818 --> 00:20:00,512 I might take you to my favorite mini golf place. 515 00:20:00,513 --> 00:20:01,956 You're not sick of me yet? 516 00:20:03,457 --> 00:20:05,613 No. Are you sick of me? 517 00:20:07,637 --> 00:20:08,614 Nah. 518 00:20:10,349 --> 00:20:12,280 What about now? Are you sick of me now? 519 00:20:13,188 --> 00:20:13,872 Um. 520 00:20:13,873 --> 00:20:15,190 Is this making you sick of me? 521 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,026 Well. 522 00:20:17,169 --> 00:20:18,453 Breath smells like farts. 523 00:20:18,455 --> 00:20:20,288 I'm sure my breath doesn't smell like farts. 524 00:20:20,888 --> 00:20:22,673 Oh, hey, excuse me, man. Is this place open? 525 00:20:22,675 --> 00:20:24,008 How'd you get in here? 526 00:20:24,010 --> 00:20:25,293 Just through the doors. 527 00:20:25,295 --> 00:20:26,794 Did they plow the parking lot? 528 00:20:26,796 --> 00:20:27,845 I guess so. 529 00:20:27,847 --> 00:20:29,097 Oh, thank God. 530 00:20:29,099 --> 00:20:30,181 I mean, it's kind of cold outside. 531 00:20:30,183 --> 00:20:32,340 You might want to put on... No, I'm good. I'm good. 532 00:20:32,341 --> 00:20:33,692 Whoo! 533 00:20:42,312 --> 00:20:47,315 The trick is to take a box out 534 00:20:47,450 --> 00:20:51,223 without knocking over the rest of the tower. 535 00:20:51,224 --> 00:20:52,526 Whoa. 536 00:20:52,527 --> 00:20:54,393 - Yep, that's the trick. - Cool. 537 00:20:54,394 --> 00:20:55,361 We're out of orange juice. 538 00:20:55,362 --> 00:20:57,452 I got a secret stash in my office. 539 00:20:57,453 --> 00:20:58,359 On it. 540 00:21:05,001 --> 00:21:05,987 Dina. 541 00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:07,665 Hi, Dina. 542 00:21:08,289 --> 00:21:10,372 I was just coming to get some juice, 543 00:21:11,214 --> 00:21:12,946 but, um, think I'll just drink it straight. 544 00:21:12,971 --> 00:21:13,834 Okay. 545 00:21:13,859 --> 00:21:15,375 credits 38024

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