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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:41,527 --> 00:01:44,630 Hey. You don't know me. 2 00:01:45,565 --> 00:01:47,767 I don't know you. 3 00:01:49,669 --> 00:01:51,103 Twice in my life, 4 00:01:51,203 --> 00:01:54,574 I've had to deliver bad news to someone I'd never met. 5 00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:56,141 Hey... 6 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,777 The first time involved a cat 7 00:01:57,877 --> 00:01:59,912 that ran out in the middle of my driver's test. 8 00:02:02,482 --> 00:02:05,284 This time was a bit trickier. 9 00:02:05,384 --> 00:02:06,652 Hey... 10 00:02:14,527 --> 00:02:15,537 Are you waiting for me to say something? 11 00:02:15,561 --> 00:02:16,829 No. Okay. 12 00:02:19,865 --> 00:02:21,133 I don't know where to start. 13 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:24,604 Well, why don't you start from the beginning? 14 00:02:25,638 --> 00:02:27,339 Okay. Okay. Um... 15 00:02:31,076 --> 00:02:32,444 Hello. 16 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,815 What? 17 00:02:36,882 --> 00:02:38,050 Grandma. 18 00:02:38,918 --> 00:02:40,452 Turn that down! 19 00:02:41,587 --> 00:02:43,222 Grandma, what's the matter? 20 00:02:43,322 --> 00:02:46,291 All of my life, my grandfather told me, 21 00:02:46,859 --> 00:02:48,928 never pick up the phone on the first ring. What? 22 00:02:49,762 --> 00:02:50,963 And now he was dead. 23 00:02:51,063 --> 00:02:52,331 What? What happened? 24 00:02:53,032 --> 00:02:55,100 I was the first one my grandmother called. 25 00:02:55,868 --> 00:02:57,570 I waited until I could see straight 26 00:02:57,670 --> 00:02:59,471 before I broke the news to my dad. 27 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,610 You may remember him as the Spiffy Peanut Butter kid. 28 00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:07,212 My dad's the one with the spoon in his mouth. 29 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,614 What is it, son? 30 00:03:09,081 --> 00:03:11,150 Something is stuck to my tongue. 31 00:03:13,418 --> 00:03:16,756 Must be weird to have your career peak at 8. 32 00:03:17,389 --> 00:03:19,892 Now, he works mostly in obscure foreign films. 33 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:22,270 removing her clothes, he's massaging her breasts. 34 00:03:22,294 --> 00:03:23,462 Let me see that in your eyes. 35 00:03:23,863 --> 00:03:25,541 Maybe you're gonna get caught 36 00:03:25,565 --> 00:03:26,808 They're not supposed to be doing that. 37 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,634 Could we just cut, please? 38 00:03:28,734 --> 00:03:30,369 Don't answer that. Hello. 39 00:03:30,469 --> 00:03:31,470 Look sexy. 40 00:03:31,571 --> 00:03:33,138 Oh, hey, sweetie. 41 00:03:33,238 --> 00:03:35,074 Smoky eyes... 42 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,208 What? 43 00:03:36,709 --> 00:03:38,410 That's it. Touch yourself. 44 00:03:38,778 --> 00:03:40,846 Keep goin'. That's good. 45 00:03:41,113 --> 00:03:42,915 That's it. No, I'll call them. I'll call them. 46 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:44,717 Dearest Judge... 47 00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:45,951 Excuse me? 48 00:03:46,385 --> 00:03:47,653 My client... 49 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,956 Name? Oh, it's, uh... Lace. 50 00:03:51,323 --> 00:03:52,958 Miss Lace 51 00:03:53,659 --> 00:03:56,596 was engaged in a consensual servicing 52 00:03:56,696 --> 00:03:58,764 of an entrapable member. 53 00:04:00,399 --> 00:04:01,734 Are you an attorney? 54 00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:17,316 Talk to me. 55 00:04:17,650 --> 00:04:18,784 Counselor. 56 00:04:19,151 --> 00:04:20,185 What? 57 00:04:21,353 --> 00:04:22,353 Whoa. 58 00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:26,258 Okay, now put the eggs down 59 00:04:26,358 --> 00:04:28,794 without breaking them and without using your hands. 60 00:04:32,798 --> 00:04:34,934 Come on, guys, we're... 61 00:04:35,034 --> 00:04:36,034 What's he doing? 62 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,136 Watch. 63 00:04:37,937 --> 00:04:39,905 We don't have time for this, guys, all right? 64 00:04:41,874 --> 00:04:43,676 Ugh, no good can come of this. 65 00:04:45,811 --> 00:04:47,212 Nice. Can we go now? 66 00:04:47,312 --> 00:04:48,614 Do a shoulder stand. 67 00:04:49,148 --> 00:04:50,816 Guys, come on. We've got this funeral. 68 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,652 Grandpa's not going anywhere. 69 00:04:53,152 --> 00:04:54,153 Get in the car. 70 00:04:54,887 --> 00:04:57,389 Get the bowl onto the table without spilling. 71 00:04:57,489 --> 00:04:59,725 Ugh... 72 00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:01,393 This is why your mother left us. 73 00:05:01,627 --> 00:05:02,662 She was a hack. 74 00:05:02,762 --> 00:05:04,697 I've seen better moms on TV. 75 00:05:05,164 --> 00:05:06,231 I know. 76 00:05:06,632 --> 00:05:08,267 I don't even know why we're going. 77 00:05:08,367 --> 00:05:09,802 I mean, he was your dad. 78 00:05:09,902 --> 00:05:11,036 Maybe he left you something. 79 00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:12,471 He probably left it all to wifey. 80 00:05:12,571 --> 00:05:13,839 Nana. 81 00:05:15,074 --> 00:05:16,341 I know. 82 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:17,843 He picked the perfect time 83 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,279 for this one, didn't he? Huh? 84 00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:22,614 Huh, Burt? 85 00:05:23,315 --> 00:05:25,350 You know, it's two weeks before his birthday. 86 00:05:26,018 --> 00:05:27,753 The one day that was more important to him 87 00:05:27,853 --> 00:05:29,221 than his goddamn job, 88 00:05:29,321 --> 00:05:32,792 and now he's managed to fuck this up, too. 89 00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,158 Sorry. 90 00:05:36,361 --> 00:05:37,730 Nice work, Pop. 91 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:39,799 Is everybody coming? 92 00:05:42,034 --> 00:05:44,837 Yeah. The asylum will be full. 93 00:05:45,204 --> 00:05:47,572 I can't believe Grandpa's not gonna be there. 94 00:05:47,873 --> 00:05:49,141 I know, sweetie. 95 00:05:52,878 --> 00:05:54,038 You're doing the right thing. 96 00:05:54,079 --> 00:05:56,315 You're fully experiencing the loss. 97 00:05:57,249 --> 00:06:00,219 And when you're ready, take a deep breath in... 98 00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:02,654 like that. 99 00:06:02,755 --> 00:06:04,032 Try to really maximize the feeling. 100 00:06:04,056 --> 00:06:05,524 Feel it really intensely. 101 00:06:06,058 --> 00:06:07,326 And then as you exhale... 102 00:06:09,361 --> 00:06:11,764 just try to let those feelings go, okay? 103 00:06:12,732 --> 00:06:14,133 He just died. 104 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,268 Yeah. 105 00:06:16,368 --> 00:06:17,469 I know. 106 00:06:17,569 --> 00:06:18,714 But, believe me, it's the way 107 00:06:18,738 --> 00:06:20,706 your grandfather would have wanted it. 108 00:06:21,273 --> 00:06:22,374 To be dead? 109 00:06:26,979 --> 00:06:27,980 Ugh. 110 00:06:57,409 --> 00:07:00,412 Oh, where can she be? 111 00:07:02,915 --> 00:07:05,384 Where's my little tubby turtle? 112 00:07:05,484 --> 00:07:07,853 I'm not a turtle. I'm Katie. 113 00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,355 Well, I'm looking for someone 114 00:07:10,455 --> 00:07:11,455 to help me eat... 115 00:07:11,523 --> 00:07:12,758 I will, Pom-Pom. 116 00:07:12,858 --> 00:07:14,226 A hot-fudge sundae. 117 00:07:17,296 --> 00:07:18,363 You okay? 118 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,366 Come on. Let's go find your grandmother. 119 00:07:28,173 --> 00:07:30,042 I don't see why you'd wanna wait. 120 00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,117 They have a right to know. 121 00:07:33,212 --> 00:07:35,314 No, it's my decision now. 122 00:07:36,115 --> 00:07:38,283 Fair enough. Hello? Mom? 123 00:07:38,383 --> 00:07:40,419 You have an appointment with the parson tomorrow. 124 00:07:41,353 --> 00:07:42,554 I don't think so. 125 00:07:43,022 --> 00:07:44,523 There she is. 126 00:07:45,557 --> 00:07:46,591 Danny boy. 127 00:07:46,691 --> 00:07:48,293 Hey, Lance. Good to see you, son. 128 00:07:48,393 --> 00:07:49,895 Grandma. 129 00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:51,263 Oh, baby. 130 00:07:52,064 --> 00:07:53,833 Oh... You know what? 131 00:07:53,933 --> 00:07:56,468 He loved you and your daddy 132 00:07:56,568 --> 00:07:58,670 more than anybody else in the family. 133 00:07:58,904 --> 00:08:01,106 I know that's not true, but thanks. 134 00:08:01,206 --> 00:08:02,206 No, really! 135 00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:03,634 He couldn't even remember the names 136 00:08:03,675 --> 00:08:05,210 of his other two children. 137 00:08:05,544 --> 00:08:06,578 Three children. 138 00:08:06,879 --> 00:08:09,148 Oh. Always thinking of others. 139 00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:12,852 Hey, Mom. 140 00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:16,693 Burt, do I have to grab everything? Well, I have to go. 141 00:08:17,389 --> 00:08:18,858 Are you sure you're okay? 142 00:08:19,158 --> 00:08:20,960 I feel as if I finally have a chance 143 00:08:21,060 --> 00:08:22,461 to do something with my life. 144 00:08:23,362 --> 00:08:24,363 Good. 145 00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:28,033 Ahhh! Sorry. Alice. Glad to see you. 146 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,903 Lance. Katie, Katie, Katie. 147 00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:33,238 Oh, Alice. What are we gonna do? 148 00:08:34,739 --> 00:08:36,608 I think I'll just take my old room, 149 00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:38,277 and then... Danny. 150 00:08:38,377 --> 00:08:39,478 Hey, Alice. Hi. 151 00:08:39,578 --> 00:08:42,181 Oh, I was just waiting to see you on television, huh? 152 00:08:42,281 --> 00:08:43,881 Well, you may not have to wait very long. 153 00:08:43,916 --> 00:08:44,916 I actually... 154 00:08:44,984 --> 00:08:46,785 Right. I'm just... Mother... 155 00:08:46,886 --> 00:08:48,326 God! I'm trying to get to the sorrow. 156 00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:52,024 I really am, but I still feel so angry. 157 00:08:52,391 --> 00:08:54,759 I mean, I want to just grab him and shake him 158 00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:56,929 and say, "How dare you?" 159 00:08:57,029 --> 00:08:59,398 "How dare you go out that back door" 160 00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:01,533 "with your little suitcase?" 161 00:09:01,633 --> 00:09:05,070 "I mean, where in God's name are you going this time?" 162 00:09:07,940 --> 00:09:12,444 I'm okay, though. I'm okay. I'm sorry. 163 00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:15,948 Oh! I've never heard you say that word. 164 00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:21,553 Well, we don't have to make a talk show out of it, do we? 165 00:09:22,821 --> 00:09:23,956 Burt! 166 00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:26,691 Don't tarry. Don't tarry. 167 00:09:26,791 --> 00:09:28,994 Hi, Burt. Hi, kids. 168 00:09:29,094 --> 00:09:31,796 Hey, Burt. Look, we've had a very difficult trip. 169 00:09:31,897 --> 00:09:33,665 So, we should probably just consider 170 00:09:33,765 --> 00:09:35,100 what everybody wants to eat, 171 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,402 and that way, we can just make one dish 172 00:09:37,502 --> 00:09:39,371 that suits the group... 173 00:09:39,471 --> 00:09:41,006 Alice and her husband Burt 174 00:09:41,106 --> 00:09:43,875 had managed to produce three silent children. 175 00:09:43,976 --> 00:09:46,345 My tribe only eats bread and American cheese 176 00:09:46,445 --> 00:09:49,181 in various forms, so, I mean... 177 00:09:49,281 --> 00:09:52,184 I could make this dish I think everybody might enjoy. 178 00:09:52,284 --> 00:09:54,053 This little casserole that I like to make. 179 00:09:54,153 --> 00:09:56,188 I'm sort of famous around my house for making it. 180 00:09:56,521 --> 00:09:58,991 Have you said hello to your grandmother? 181 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,961 Let me take a look at you three. 182 00:10:02,928 --> 00:10:04,696 Stop looking like she's gonna bite you. 183 00:10:04,796 --> 00:10:06,165 She's not gonna bite you. 184 00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:09,668 Stop it. Stop feigning those fake little twitches 185 00:10:09,768 --> 00:10:10,912 that you're doing. We've talked... 186 00:10:10,936 --> 00:10:12,304 My grandmother always said 187 00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,439 she wished Alice came with a mute button. 188 00:10:14,539 --> 00:10:16,551 If you think it's any better at any of your friends' houses, 189 00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,253 if you think it's any better at their house, 190 00:10:18,277 --> 00:10:20,612 you can just pack your bags and move in with them. 191 00:10:21,846 --> 00:10:24,383 Ah, that's better. 192 00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:30,222 All right, treat everybody with respect, okay? 193 00:10:30,322 --> 00:10:32,824 Let's try not to be the biggest freaks in the circus. 194 00:10:33,225 --> 00:10:34,745 What the hell is that supposed to mean? 195 00:10:34,793 --> 00:10:36,595 He wants us to say, "No, thank you," 196 00:10:36,695 --> 00:10:38,263 instead of, "Eat my ass Jell-o." 197 00:10:38,363 --> 00:10:39,999 Hey, stop it. All right? 198 00:10:40,099 --> 00:10:41,176 Stop it, for Christ's sakes. 199 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,701 Where do you guys learn that shit? 200 00:10:44,703 --> 00:10:47,406 Mom... Sorry about Dad. 201 00:10:47,506 --> 00:10:48,640 Yeah... Mmm... 202 00:10:50,209 --> 00:10:51,543 You remember the boys? 203 00:10:52,844 --> 00:10:54,113 How could I forget them? 204 00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:55,614 Hey, G. 205 00:10:55,714 --> 00:10:56,948 So, what did he leave us? 206 00:10:57,049 --> 00:10:58,850 Your grandfather's will won't be read 207 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,552 until after the funeral. 208 00:11:00,986 --> 00:11:02,454 Talk about being early. 209 00:11:04,089 --> 00:11:05,590 Seriously, man. 210 00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:09,294 God, dude. You always hit me first. He pushed me. 211 00:11:10,862 --> 00:11:12,797 Hey, Skipper. Hey. 212 00:11:12,897 --> 00:11:16,001 Oh, why do terrible things always come in threes? 213 00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,570 I see Alice is already rifling through the drawers. 214 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,339 No, I'm looking for ingredients. 215 00:11:20,439 --> 00:11:22,374 I'm going to make us all dinner tonight. 216 00:11:22,941 --> 00:11:24,909 Hmm. Hey, Uncle Skip. 217 00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:26,511 Hey. Hi. 218 00:11:27,579 --> 00:11:29,748 Hey, boys. Hi, Katie. 219 00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:33,985 Uncle Skip and the twins 220 00:11:34,086 --> 00:11:36,255 were a little heavy with hormones, 221 00:11:37,156 --> 00:11:39,291 but they were at those ages. 222 00:11:39,891 --> 00:11:41,193 I used to have an Aunt Lily, too, 223 00:11:41,293 --> 00:11:43,262 but they scared her away. 224 00:11:43,962 --> 00:11:45,073 Family legend says that it was 225 00:11:45,097 --> 00:11:47,632 the night before their eleventh birthday. 226 00:11:47,732 --> 00:11:49,034 What the hell is that? 227 00:11:50,702 --> 00:11:52,837 It's your birthday cake. 228 00:11:52,937 --> 00:11:54,639 I was hoping it would be a surprise. 229 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,176 I'm more than surprised. I'm shocked! 230 00:11:57,276 --> 00:11:58,610 This isn't what we ordered. 231 00:11:59,078 --> 00:12:00,412 You don't order your mother. 232 00:12:01,046 --> 00:12:02,881 I spent two days making... 233 00:12:02,981 --> 00:12:04,583 We ordered an erotic cheesecake. 234 00:12:05,417 --> 00:12:06,218 Excuse me? 235 00:12:06,318 --> 00:12:07,486 You're excused. 236 00:12:08,153 --> 00:12:09,388 We'll fix it. 237 00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:13,625 Oh, no. 238 00:12:18,463 --> 00:12:20,165 Oh... What? 239 00:12:21,666 --> 00:12:22,734 What? 240 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,440 They ruined it. 241 00:12:29,774 --> 00:12:31,810 They ruined it. 242 00:12:32,944 --> 00:12:34,646 Well, it's their birthday, right? 243 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,516 Where did they even hear the term, 244 00:12:37,616 --> 00:12:39,251 "erotic cheesecake"? 245 00:12:39,784 --> 00:12:41,696 Hey, somebody's gotta teach them these things, right? 246 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,822 What "things"? 247 00:12:44,923 --> 00:12:47,192 That, that you can make a cheesecake 248 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,828 look like disembodied breasts? 249 00:12:51,996 --> 00:12:53,165 Or an ass. 250 00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:08,447 Katie, sweetheart, I want you 251 00:13:08,547 --> 00:13:10,315 to eulogize your grandfather. 252 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,253 Oh, Grandma, I don't think I can make a speech. 253 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,240 I wouldn't know what to say. 254 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:19,758 If it were me, I would want you 255 00:13:19,858 --> 00:13:22,761 to say something that made some 256 00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,764 sense out of my life. 257 00:13:25,864 --> 00:13:28,633 Something that honored me. 258 00:13:29,968 --> 00:13:31,270 Hey, what about Dad? 259 00:13:31,370 --> 00:13:33,205 Or, um, Skip or Lucy? 260 00:13:33,305 --> 00:13:35,073 Your grandfather wanted you. 261 00:13:35,507 --> 00:13:36,507 And you boys are going to 262 00:13:36,575 --> 00:13:38,243 have to help with the burial. 263 00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:40,512 Your father left very 264 00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,481 specific instructions. 265 00:13:42,814 --> 00:13:44,183 Okay. 266 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,251 Hi, everybody. 267 00:13:46,585 --> 00:13:47,719 Hey, ladies. 268 00:13:48,253 --> 00:13:50,054 You remember Skip? Yeah. 269 00:13:50,155 --> 00:13:51,656 And these are his two boys, 270 00:13:51,823 --> 00:13:52,857 Tim and Jim? 271 00:13:53,258 --> 00:13:54,258 Yeah, close enough. 272 00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:55,794 Hi, guys. I'm, uh... 273 00:13:55,894 --> 00:13:57,662 Lucy's life partner, Judy. 274 00:14:00,031 --> 00:14:01,266 Lesbians. 275 00:14:03,402 --> 00:14:05,504 I really can't believe you brought her. 276 00:14:06,238 --> 00:14:07,572 Hello, Alice. 277 00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:10,242 No, it's just I thought you'd come alone. It's family. 278 00:14:10,575 --> 00:14:11,876 Are you starting already? 279 00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:14,313 Oh, no, no, no. It just, it didn't occur to me 280 00:14:14,413 --> 00:14:16,981 to bring my sex toys. Did you bring any sex toys? 281 00:14:17,249 --> 00:14:18,550 You wouldn't know a sex toy 282 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,285 if it left a battery in your vagina. 283 00:14:20,552 --> 00:14:22,521 Oh! My vagina, as you were 284 00:14:22,621 --> 00:14:25,089 so whimsically about to refer to it, 285 00:14:25,190 --> 00:14:27,492 has served as sacred passage 286 00:14:27,592 --> 00:14:30,362 for three anatomically correct children. 287 00:14:30,462 --> 00:14:31,563 So... 288 00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:33,832 Bad image. Erase, erase. 289 00:14:34,266 --> 00:14:35,534 So, who needs a drink? 290 00:14:36,968 --> 00:14:37,968 Let's drink. 291 00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,041 My family still observes 292 00:14:43,141 --> 00:14:45,277 the cocktail hour with a vengeance. 293 00:15:03,094 --> 00:15:05,430 This isn't about you, so... 294 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,300 Are you talking to the sex toy? 295 00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:13,538 I'm sure you're a very nice... Lesbian. 296 00:15:13,638 --> 00:15:15,106 Is that the preferred term? 297 00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:17,576 No! No, we prefer "whore." 298 00:15:18,677 --> 00:15:20,479 I think all women do these days. 299 00:15:22,013 --> 00:15:23,013 Well... 300 00:15:24,483 --> 00:15:26,451 I guess I owe you an apology. 301 00:15:31,356 --> 00:15:32,824 Are you working up to it? 302 00:15:38,663 --> 00:15:39,698 So... 303 00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,534 What do you girls do? 304 00:15:45,837 --> 00:15:47,606 What do you mean, "What do we do"? 305 00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:51,410 For fun? 306 00:15:53,512 --> 00:15:54,979 Eat out, go to the movies. 307 00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:57,349 Oh, normal stuff. 308 00:15:57,449 --> 00:15:59,351 Drinks. I... 309 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:00,819 Ladies. 310 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:01,919 Thank you. 311 00:16:02,687 --> 00:16:03,687 Thank you. 312 00:16:04,523 --> 00:16:05,924 What did you think we did? 313 00:16:06,558 --> 00:16:08,059 No, I, I didn't have a... 314 00:16:08,827 --> 00:16:10,067 I wasn't thinking of something, 315 00:16:10,161 --> 00:16:11,630 and I just... 316 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,101 I don't know what you do. 317 00:16:17,702 --> 00:16:18,942 Do you think we spend all night 318 00:16:19,037 --> 00:16:20,539 triple-tonguing our G-spots? 319 00:16:27,346 --> 00:16:29,047 It's my father's funeral, 320 00:16:29,147 --> 00:16:30,682 so if you could muster up 321 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:33,284 just a little bit of respect, that would be... 322 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,489 Don't worry. You know, don't worry about Alice. 323 00:16:37,589 --> 00:16:40,058 You think she's gone, she comes back, 324 00:16:40,559 --> 00:16:42,661 you know, like herpes. 325 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,330 Thanks, Skip. Yeah. 326 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:48,667 So, how are you and Lucy doing? 327 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,470 Well, I mean... 328 00:16:51,903 --> 00:16:52,971 This is just awful. 329 00:16:53,705 --> 00:16:55,740 I know. I hate being around my family, too. 330 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,041 Oh. 331 00:16:57,642 --> 00:17:00,011 Yeah. But, I mean, I mean... 332 00:17:00,879 --> 00:17:02,947 How are you doing... You know... 333 00:17:04,015 --> 00:17:05,015 Physically? 334 00:17:06,017 --> 00:17:07,118 Physically? 335 00:17:08,052 --> 00:17:10,154 Well, yeah. I mean, like you said... What is it? 336 00:17:10,622 --> 00:17:12,542 Triple-tonguing. What is that? Is that a thing... 337 00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,325 What are you doing? 338 00:17:14,426 --> 00:17:15,527 Go talk to your mother. 339 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,562 You talk to her, all right? She's a downer. 340 00:17:18,062 --> 00:17:19,130 She's a widow. 341 00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:20,532 She was a downer first. 342 00:17:21,065 --> 00:17:22,577 Just go talk to your mother. 343 00:17:22,601 --> 00:17:23,835 Excuse me. Okay. 344 00:17:25,637 --> 00:17:27,005 Do you need a punch? 345 00:17:27,105 --> 00:17:28,883 Do you want me to punch you? You have real problems. 346 00:17:28,907 --> 00:17:30,284 You don't do that. You don't throw a lemon at me 347 00:17:30,308 --> 00:17:31,476 in front of a lesbian. 348 00:17:32,043 --> 00:17:33,111 Nice goin'. 349 00:17:34,546 --> 00:17:36,757 Me nice going? "The triple-tongue thing"? Yeah, you. 350 00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:37,849 Hi. 351 00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,722 My, my dad died when I was 11. 352 00:17:44,723 --> 00:17:45,724 Oh. 353 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,026 I'm sorry. 354 00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:49,894 I don't know why I said that. 355 00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:54,933 What size are you? 356 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,001 Me? 357 00:18:01,506 --> 00:18:02,641 Come upstairs. 358 00:18:04,175 --> 00:18:08,012 This is the dress I wore on the boardwalk in 1956. 359 00:18:09,247 --> 00:18:11,650 It's... It's so elegant. 360 00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:13,952 It's yours. I wore it once. 361 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:16,354 It was a great night. 362 00:18:16,455 --> 00:18:18,089 Maybe the best night of my life. 363 00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:19,691 It's a lucky dress. 364 00:18:21,159 --> 00:18:23,127 I couldn't. Oh, please! 365 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,629 Take them all. 366 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,965 I know we haven't spent that much time together, 367 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:30,201 but I already know I like you better than I like Alice. 368 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:35,173 And besides, Katie and Lucy aren't my size. 369 00:18:37,809 --> 00:18:38,910 Thank you. 370 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,792 It's a little bit runnier than usual. 371 00:18:53,892 --> 00:18:56,761 Think I just, I just didn't quite move it, 372 00:18:56,861 --> 00:18:58,897 or put enough cheese in it. 373 00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:01,118 This looks like it fell out of a horse. 374 00:19:03,835 --> 00:19:06,605 Thanks, but I already had my mucus course for the day. 375 00:19:06,705 --> 00:19:07,985 Listen, you shut your spit cave, 376 00:19:08,039 --> 00:19:09,674 you foul-mouthed little shit-fucker 377 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,076 before I beat the living snot out of you. 378 00:19:13,177 --> 00:19:15,179 I'm going down to Doc's to pick up some lobster, 379 00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:16,347 if anyone wants in? 380 00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,849 Yes, please. 381 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:19,393 It's a good idea. Yeah, it's a good idea. 382 00:19:19,417 --> 00:19:22,554 Get some big ones with the big meaty claws. Big meaty claws. 383 00:19:22,654 --> 00:19:25,490 As a side dish, it's fine. Well... 384 00:19:28,426 --> 00:19:30,695 God, it's so good to get out of there. 385 00:19:32,531 --> 00:19:34,833 Katie, it's good to see you. 386 00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:38,570 Oh, Luce, I'm so sorry. 387 00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,272 Yeah. Well, it's okay. 388 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:42,974 Nobody else in the family 389 00:19:43,074 --> 00:19:44,275 seems to give a crap. 390 00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:46,310 Yeah, I've noticed. 391 00:19:46,410 --> 00:19:48,079 So, you coming? 392 00:19:48,446 --> 00:19:49,848 Where? 393 00:19:49,948 --> 00:19:51,082 To the wedding. 394 00:19:51,182 --> 00:19:52,182 What wedding? 395 00:19:53,051 --> 00:19:54,753 Isn't that what you're sorry for? 396 00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,153 I'm sorry about Grandpa. 397 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,991 Oh, Katie, nobody blames you. 398 00:20:01,092 --> 00:20:02,160 Two for dinner? 399 00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:04,495 No. I called in an order for Collins. 400 00:20:04,596 --> 00:20:05,876 Oh, let me check on that for you. 401 00:20:06,565 --> 00:20:07,732 What wedding? 402 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,101 Judy and I are getting married. 403 00:20:10,201 --> 00:20:12,103 Really? 404 00:20:12,203 --> 00:20:13,203 Vows and everything. 405 00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,038 Congratulations. 406 00:20:15,106 --> 00:20:16,407 I sent you an invitation. 407 00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:17,508 No, you didn't. 408 00:20:17,609 --> 00:20:19,878 It's okay. Everybody in the family 409 00:20:19,978 --> 00:20:21,258 is pretending they didn't get it. 410 00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:22,513 I didn't get one. 411 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:24,448 I, I distinctly remember weeding 412 00:20:24,549 --> 00:20:26,618 the family invites out early. No. 413 00:20:27,652 --> 00:20:29,453 I, I went to the... 414 00:20:29,554 --> 00:20:31,189 I put them... Wait. 415 00:20:31,289 --> 00:20:32,757 I mailed them. I know... 416 00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:36,728 I am such a bonehead! 417 00:20:36,828 --> 00:20:39,964 Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Oh! 418 00:20:41,666 --> 00:20:43,101 Well, here you go. 419 00:20:43,635 --> 00:20:44,812 What are you doing down there? 420 00:20:44,836 --> 00:20:46,104 It's Ryan. 421 00:20:46,638 --> 00:20:48,740 Little Ryan from the be... Ahhh! 422 00:20:50,742 --> 00:20:52,662 What are you doing? He could hear you! 423 00:20:59,450 --> 00:21:00,551 Hi. 424 00:21:00,652 --> 00:21:03,554 Little Ryan. My childhood friend. 425 00:21:05,857 --> 00:21:07,291 Since before I can remember, 426 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,093 we spent our summers together. 427 00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:21,606 He always acted like he had a crush on me, 428 00:21:21,706 --> 00:21:23,842 and I always acted like I didn't notice. 429 00:21:25,543 --> 00:21:28,780 It seemed like nothing could ever come between us... 430 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,883 Until the last night of last summer. 431 00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:52,837 Even the ushers who threw us out couldn't pull us apart. 432 00:21:53,872 --> 00:21:55,539 His parents were off camping somewhere 433 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,441 with his little brother, 434 00:21:57,541 --> 00:21:59,443 and everything was perfect. 435 00:21:59,543 --> 00:22:01,612 The flicker of the candlelight, 436 00:22:01,713 --> 00:22:04,382 the gentle dancing of the rain on the roof, 437 00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:07,618 the familiar sound of a car door slamming. 438 00:22:14,759 --> 00:22:16,861 Katie, Katie. Katie! 439 00:22:19,163 --> 00:22:21,666 I never meant for anything to happen between us. 440 00:22:23,067 --> 00:22:24,736 I couldn't let there be any witnesses. 441 00:22:24,836 --> 00:22:27,739 I can heat up some lasagna if you boys are hungry. 442 00:22:28,239 --> 00:22:30,074 Oh, hi... Katie. 443 00:22:33,377 --> 00:22:34,645 Nice to see you again. 444 00:22:43,287 --> 00:22:45,156 Let's hear it. No, no, no. 445 00:22:45,256 --> 00:22:46,290 Come on, do it. 446 00:22:46,390 --> 00:22:48,727 No. One last time. 447 00:22:50,161 --> 00:22:51,161 Okay. 448 00:22:51,930 --> 00:22:53,297 This one's for Dad. 449 00:22:57,035 --> 00:22:58,669 Something is stuck to my tongue. 450 00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,083 Oh! There it is. 451 00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:01,172 Wow. 452 00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,008 If I ever... 453 00:23:04,108 --> 00:23:05,209 Single bullet. 454 00:23:05,309 --> 00:23:06,677 To my left eye. 455 00:23:07,846 --> 00:23:09,280 This is a good time. 456 00:23:09,613 --> 00:23:10,624 How can this be a good time? 457 00:23:10,648 --> 00:23:11,750 Your dad just died. 458 00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:14,252 My family could use a little good news. 459 00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:15,353 Trust me. 460 00:23:18,122 --> 00:23:19,523 Hey, everyone, 461 00:23:19,623 --> 00:23:21,092 I have an announcement to make. 462 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,062 We sent out some invitations... 463 00:23:24,162 --> 00:23:25,496 Or, at least, I thought we did, 464 00:23:25,596 --> 00:23:27,241 and I was actually getting pretty angry at all of you. 465 00:23:27,265 --> 00:23:30,068 I suspected some sort of con... Ah! 466 00:23:30,168 --> 00:23:33,337 Anyway, myself and Judy... 467 00:23:33,437 --> 00:23:34,437 "Judy and I." 468 00:23:35,439 --> 00:23:37,575 Judy and I would like to... 469 00:23:39,477 --> 00:23:40,611 What is it, Fred? 470 00:23:40,711 --> 00:23:42,080 It's Ted. 471 00:23:42,180 --> 00:23:43,714 What are you laughing at? 472 00:23:43,815 --> 00:23:45,349 I don't know. 473 00:23:45,449 --> 00:23:46,569 But I can't wait to find out 474 00:23:46,617 --> 00:23:48,486 what you two vageniuses are up to. 475 00:23:48,820 --> 00:23:50,088 What did you just say? 476 00:23:50,188 --> 00:23:51,355 Nice vocab word. 477 00:23:52,256 --> 00:23:54,392 What did he just call us? Vageniuses. 478 00:23:54,492 --> 00:23:56,060 It's a compound compliment. 479 00:23:56,594 --> 00:23:57,671 You see what I put up with? 480 00:23:57,695 --> 00:24:00,464 How can you tell me not to scream my fucking head off? 481 00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:01,844 You're losing it. No! 482 00:24:01,933 --> 00:24:03,893 These are the people that you want at our wedding? 483 00:24:05,136 --> 00:24:06,838 Oh, is one of you getting married? 484 00:24:07,305 --> 00:24:08,306 We both are. 485 00:24:09,307 --> 00:24:10,307 To who? 486 00:24:10,341 --> 00:24:11,609 To each other. 487 00:24:14,378 --> 00:24:15,446 Awesome! 488 00:24:15,546 --> 00:24:17,215 How many friends can we bring? 489 00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:22,520 Oh, this is so rich. 490 00:24:22,887 --> 00:24:24,622 Alice... I think it's great. 491 00:24:24,856 --> 00:24:25,857 Very great. 492 00:24:26,390 --> 00:24:28,692 Congratulations, really. Thank you. 493 00:24:28,793 --> 00:24:31,329 So, uh, where's the wedding happening? 494 00:24:31,429 --> 00:24:32,630 In a dream? 495 00:24:32,897 --> 00:24:35,033 No, Alice. In a town hall. 496 00:24:35,466 --> 00:24:36,500 Oh. 497 00:24:37,168 --> 00:24:40,004 Look, I just think it's sad, all right? 498 00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:42,006 Two women pretending to be married. 499 00:24:42,106 --> 00:24:43,842 I pretended I was married for 12 years. 500 00:24:43,942 --> 00:24:45,185 And I think that marriage is based 501 00:24:45,209 --> 00:24:47,178 on commitment and communication 502 00:24:47,278 --> 00:24:49,780 and not necessarily the presence of a penis. 503 00:24:49,881 --> 00:24:51,049 Thank you. 504 00:24:51,149 --> 00:24:53,451 Excuse me. My children are here, all right? 505 00:24:53,551 --> 00:24:54,819 Watch your language. 506 00:24:55,086 --> 00:24:56,886 What, are you worried they're gonna repeat it? 507 00:24:58,056 --> 00:25:01,425 Burt... 508 00:25:01,792 --> 00:25:04,528 Burt, do you hear what's going on here? 509 00:25:05,897 --> 00:25:07,999 No, no, at least Burt and me know 510 00:25:08,099 --> 00:25:09,944 how we're supposed to fit together. "Burt and I." 511 00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:11,235 Is that what this is all about? 512 00:25:11,335 --> 00:25:13,547 Is that what everyone in this fucked-up family needs to know? 513 00:25:13,571 --> 00:25:14,973 How we go together? 514 00:25:15,073 --> 00:25:18,009 Well... Well, we often start by 515 00:25:18,109 --> 00:25:19,911 gently kissing... Oh, I am not doing this. 516 00:25:20,011 --> 00:25:21,579 I said I am not doing this. 517 00:25:23,047 --> 00:25:24,415 Aw, come back! 518 00:25:24,815 --> 00:25:26,293 Aunt Lucy was really making her point. 519 00:25:26,317 --> 00:25:29,087 So, Luce, since you're having people perform, 520 00:25:29,187 --> 00:25:30,889 you know, fake ceremonies and stuff, 521 00:25:30,989 --> 00:25:32,456 why don't you just have them 522 00:25:32,556 --> 00:25:34,592 announce you queen or president? 523 00:25:36,260 --> 00:25:37,128 Mmm. 524 00:25:37,228 --> 00:25:39,063 Shut it. TWINS: All right! 525 00:25:39,397 --> 00:25:40,398 Okay. 526 00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:45,669 Because, I mean, there are programs... Shut your goddamn mouth! 527 00:25:45,769 --> 00:25:47,305 Who can just cast a spell on you. 528 00:25:47,405 --> 00:25:50,942 Whoa, here we go! Make you less afraid of male genitalia. Whoo! 529 00:25:51,542 --> 00:25:52,543 Shut it! Ooh, Lucy! 530 00:25:52,877 --> 00:25:54,078 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 531 00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:55,856 When did you get so much stronger than me, huh? 532 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,382 Shut it. Oh, I forgot. You're not. 533 00:25:58,616 --> 00:25:59,617 Ahh! 534 00:26:00,418 --> 00:26:01,953 Table! Wuss. 535 00:26:02,553 --> 00:26:03,854 Oh, no. 536 00:26:12,663 --> 00:26:13,731 Lucy... 537 00:26:13,965 --> 00:26:15,066 Guys! Guys! 538 00:26:15,166 --> 00:26:17,368 All right, that's almost enough. 539 00:26:18,502 --> 00:26:20,538 Stop it. Are you guys kidding? 540 00:26:20,638 --> 00:26:21,973 I love this family. 541 00:26:23,141 --> 00:26:24,542 And you didn't want to come. 542 00:26:27,378 --> 00:26:31,049 One thing about being in such a theatrical family, 543 00:26:31,149 --> 00:26:34,919 it's easy to lose track of everything that's happening offstage. 544 00:26:36,854 --> 00:26:37,854 Grandma? 545 00:26:37,922 --> 00:26:39,757 Grandma! 546 00:26:40,091 --> 00:26:42,226 Grandma! 547 00:26:42,961 --> 00:26:43,962 Grandma, are you okay? 548 00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:45,429 I'm all right. 549 00:26:45,529 --> 00:26:46,965 Open up the door. Mom. 550 00:26:47,065 --> 00:26:48,366 Grandma. 551 00:26:48,466 --> 00:26:50,301 Clear. Clear! What? 552 00:26:50,935 --> 00:26:52,136 Ow! 553 00:26:54,205 --> 00:26:55,739 What happened? I said I'm all right. 554 00:26:55,839 --> 00:26:57,008 What did you do? 555 00:26:57,108 --> 00:26:59,310 I just slipped, and I spilled all this stuff. 556 00:26:59,410 --> 00:27:01,612 Somebody please get me a glass of water. 557 00:27:04,949 --> 00:27:06,550 Get her a glass water. 558 00:27:06,650 --> 00:27:08,228 Are you, are you hurt? Can you get up? 559 00:27:08,252 --> 00:27:09,420 How did you fall down? 560 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:11,222 She slipped. 561 00:27:12,991 --> 00:27:14,292 Thank you all so much. 562 00:27:15,226 --> 00:27:16,427 Grandma, what are you doing? 563 00:27:16,527 --> 00:27:17,595 I knew it! Mom! 564 00:27:18,963 --> 00:27:21,632 Stop it. 565 00:27:23,968 --> 00:27:26,437 Just stop it. I am not doing anything. 566 00:27:27,038 --> 00:27:28,239 Collins. 567 00:27:29,107 --> 00:27:31,409 I'm Dr. Rice. We pumped your mother's stomach. Hi. 568 00:27:31,709 --> 00:27:32,749 It was an accident. 569 00:27:32,810 --> 00:27:33,920 How did she accidentally chug 570 00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:35,089 half a bottle of sleeping pills? 571 00:27:35,113 --> 00:27:36,614 She was cleaning them up. 572 00:27:36,914 --> 00:27:37,915 With her mouth? 573 00:27:38,016 --> 00:27:39,259 We need to keep her for the night, 574 00:27:39,283 --> 00:27:41,219 but she's going to be fine. 575 00:27:41,319 --> 00:27:43,954 She recently lost her husband, and she slipped, 576 00:27:44,055 --> 00:27:45,990 Lucy? and I think she got confused with... 577 00:27:46,090 --> 00:27:48,592 Little Lucy toothy, is that you? 578 00:27:49,093 --> 00:27:50,428 It's been so long. 579 00:27:50,528 --> 00:27:51,729 Samantha, hi. 580 00:27:53,497 --> 00:27:54,598 Alice. 581 00:27:55,399 --> 00:27:56,634 How are you? 582 00:27:57,868 --> 00:27:59,437 Great. Just great. 583 00:28:00,271 --> 00:28:01,705 When can we take her home? 584 00:28:01,805 --> 00:28:03,117 Well, like I said, just overnight, 585 00:28:03,141 --> 00:28:04,351 and then tomorrow we'll sign her out 586 00:28:04,375 --> 00:28:05,643 and you can take her home. 587 00:28:05,743 --> 00:28:07,011 Well, I think... 588 00:28:07,111 --> 00:28:08,471 Could you keep her for another day, 589 00:28:08,546 --> 00:28:09,613 just to be safe? 590 00:28:10,081 --> 00:28:12,316 Oh, my God. 591 00:28:12,416 --> 00:28:13,417 Bite me. 592 00:28:26,564 --> 00:28:27,564 Skip. 593 00:28:28,766 --> 00:28:30,501 Hey, sis. Did they puke her? 594 00:28:32,903 --> 00:28:34,072 All right, I'll spread it. 595 00:28:34,605 --> 00:28:35,605 All right, bye. 596 00:28:37,175 --> 00:28:38,676 She unswallowed. 597 00:28:38,776 --> 00:28:40,778 Oh, thank God. Poor Grandma. 598 00:28:41,445 --> 00:28:42,445 Yeah. 599 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,482 She just wants to be the star of the funeral. 600 00:28:45,015 --> 00:28:46,016 No, she doesn't. 601 00:28:46,117 --> 00:28:48,252 Hey, Elvis killed himself 602 00:28:48,352 --> 00:28:49,253 because someone was gonna write a book 603 00:28:49,353 --> 00:28:50,654 about his underwear wrestling. 604 00:28:50,754 --> 00:28:52,523 What? 605 00:28:53,191 --> 00:28:54,558 What are you doing? 606 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,262 Grandma asked me to speak at the funeral. 607 00:28:59,197 --> 00:29:01,565 Oh. Nobody asked me to speak. 608 00:29:02,032 --> 00:29:03,334 Do you want to? Because 609 00:29:03,434 --> 00:29:05,769 I have no idea what to say. 610 00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:07,338 Just say... 611 00:29:09,107 --> 00:29:10,841 He was away so much, 612 00:29:10,941 --> 00:29:13,043 it was weird to have him around. 613 00:29:15,813 --> 00:29:17,181 I just want to say something 614 00:29:17,281 --> 00:29:19,150 beautiful and poetic. 615 00:29:21,119 --> 00:29:22,653 Pop loved poetry. 616 00:29:23,787 --> 00:29:25,156 He did? Yeah. 617 00:29:27,491 --> 00:29:29,227 All the ones about Nantucket. 618 00:29:30,728 --> 00:29:33,564 I think his favorite was about a little handicapped girl. 619 00:29:34,532 --> 00:29:37,301 "There once was a girl who was crippled," 620 00:29:37,401 --> 00:29:39,203 "by the weight of her overgrown nipple." 621 00:29:40,003 --> 00:29:42,640 I needed to talk to someone who saw grandpa clearly. 622 00:29:51,482 --> 00:29:53,217 Dad. 623 00:29:57,921 --> 00:29:59,223 Dad, are you in there? 624 00:30:11,335 --> 00:30:13,804 Dad, the door is locked, and I need to talk. 625 00:30:14,405 --> 00:30:15,405 Katie? 626 00:30:15,606 --> 00:30:16,607 Dad? 627 00:30:17,175 --> 00:30:18,342 Fuck! 628 00:30:18,976 --> 00:30:20,211 Coming. 629 00:30:24,114 --> 00:30:25,416 Dad. Coming! 630 00:30:31,822 --> 00:30:32,890 Fuck! Fuck! 631 00:30:37,495 --> 00:30:38,562 Dad. 632 00:30:40,231 --> 00:30:41,499 Coming, coming, sweetie. 633 00:30:45,236 --> 00:30:46,570 God damn it! 634 00:30:55,379 --> 00:30:56,514 Is that a joint? 635 00:30:59,183 --> 00:31:01,385 Ah! Dad? 636 00:31:16,234 --> 00:31:17,468 Yes, boys? 637 00:31:19,470 --> 00:31:22,773 So, uh, how's that book going? 638 00:31:23,607 --> 00:31:24,608 It's hot. 639 00:31:28,111 --> 00:31:30,681 Can we help you with anything? 640 00:31:33,083 --> 00:31:36,254 Maybe, uh, intern with you? 641 00:31:42,226 --> 00:31:43,527 You can rub my feet if you want. 642 00:31:46,163 --> 00:31:47,831 That would be nice. 643 00:31:48,266 --> 00:31:50,434 Mom has that appointment with the parson tomorrow. 644 00:31:50,534 --> 00:31:52,614 Yeah, well, don't worry, 'cause I'm gonna spring her. 645 00:31:53,671 --> 00:31:55,473 She was trying to kill herself. 646 00:31:55,573 --> 00:31:57,808 Yeah. It's pretty common. 647 00:31:58,141 --> 00:31:59,777 In fact, after Scandinavians, 648 00:31:59,877 --> 00:32:02,913 it's the over-70 crowd that is the most suicidal. 649 00:32:03,314 --> 00:32:05,383 Well, shouldn't we be doing something to help her? 650 00:32:05,649 --> 00:32:06,850 No. Mmm-mmm. 651 00:32:06,950 --> 00:32:09,320 'Cause, um, once people have their mind made up, 652 00:32:09,420 --> 00:32:11,021 there's, there's really very little 653 00:32:11,121 --> 00:32:12,390 that you could do to stop 'em. 654 00:32:12,890 --> 00:32:15,393 There's got to be something we can do. 655 00:32:15,759 --> 00:32:18,161 Do you remember that game against Easton? 656 00:32:18,262 --> 00:32:20,264 Oh, yeah. They were a very tough team. 657 00:32:20,364 --> 00:32:22,766 No, but do you remember, uh... 658 00:32:22,866 --> 00:32:25,235 Naomi in the hotel... Oh, at the motel? 659 00:32:25,336 --> 00:32:28,772 With the oow-oow-oow? Oow-oow-oow. 660 00:32:28,872 --> 00:32:32,343 Do you remember? "Oh, look at how silly and normal I can act" 661 00:32:32,443 --> 00:32:34,545 "when I'm not persecuting my sister." 662 00:32:45,289 --> 00:32:46,724 How often do you smoke? 663 00:32:48,225 --> 00:32:49,493 You know... 664 00:32:50,093 --> 00:32:51,093 Never in the morning. 665 00:32:51,695 --> 00:32:52,695 Dad. 666 00:32:52,730 --> 00:32:54,898 I know, I... That was really lame. 667 00:32:54,998 --> 00:32:56,500 I just... 668 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,336 I don't know what I'm doing anymore. 669 00:32:58,936 --> 00:32:59,970 You're mourning. 670 00:33:00,838 --> 00:33:01,872 Yeah. 671 00:33:02,906 --> 00:33:04,274 What? You're mourning. 672 00:33:04,542 --> 00:33:06,910 Yeah. Yes. I think I am. 673 00:33:07,277 --> 00:33:08,512 Yeah. 674 00:33:09,246 --> 00:33:10,748 You'd think I'd be over it by now. 675 00:33:12,049 --> 00:33:13,617 Well, Dad, it just happened. 676 00:33:14,785 --> 00:33:15,786 No. 677 00:33:16,587 --> 00:33:18,055 He's been dead for years. 678 00:33:18,389 --> 00:33:19,523 What? 679 00:33:20,491 --> 00:33:21,725 If I just would have gotten 680 00:33:21,825 --> 00:33:23,927 that stupid toothpaste commercial. 681 00:33:24,027 --> 00:33:25,062 That was the moment. 682 00:33:25,162 --> 00:33:26,464 I swear to God. 683 00:33:26,564 --> 00:33:27,798 What are we talking about? 684 00:33:27,898 --> 00:33:30,267 I... I was the choice 685 00:33:30,368 --> 00:33:32,202 for this toothpaste campaign. 686 00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:33,604 I was the guy, and I just... 687 00:33:33,704 --> 00:33:35,506 I could not say the line. 688 00:33:35,606 --> 00:33:37,508 I literally... I couldn't say it. 689 00:33:37,608 --> 00:33:39,843 You know, "It's the breath freshiest." 690 00:33:40,043 --> 00:33:41,044 I just... 691 00:33:42,546 --> 00:33:44,147 Okay. I can't believe I just said that. 692 00:33:44,247 --> 00:33:46,684 I have never been able to say that before. 693 00:33:46,784 --> 00:33:48,285 It's like a tongue-twister for me. 694 00:33:48,386 --> 00:33:50,087 "It's the breath freshiest." 695 00:33:50,187 --> 00:33:51,589 Oh, my God! 696 00:33:55,626 --> 00:33:56,626 Fuck. 697 00:33:59,597 --> 00:34:01,799 Um, Dad, are you okay? 698 00:34:01,899 --> 00:34:03,434 Yeah. I'm sorry. 699 00:34:04,635 --> 00:34:06,504 I'm sorry. It's just... 700 00:34:09,106 --> 00:34:10,173 I just feel sometimes 701 00:34:10,273 --> 00:34:11,475 like I've spent my whole life 702 00:34:11,575 --> 00:34:13,010 in this waiting room 703 00:34:13,110 --> 00:34:14,344 at an audition, you know, 704 00:34:14,445 --> 00:34:17,114 and they finally called my fucking name, 705 00:34:17,214 --> 00:34:18,816 and I just... 706 00:34:18,916 --> 00:34:21,351 And then somebody else stood up, you know, 707 00:34:21,452 --> 00:34:22,586 and they got my role, 708 00:34:22,686 --> 00:34:23,987 and they've been living my life, 709 00:34:24,087 --> 00:34:25,456 and I'm just groping. 710 00:34:25,556 --> 00:34:27,525 I've just been stumbling around 711 00:34:27,625 --> 00:34:28,892 in the dark ever since then. 712 00:34:33,130 --> 00:34:34,465 Your mom knew. Your mom knew. 713 00:34:34,565 --> 00:34:36,366 She always said, 714 00:34:36,467 --> 00:34:38,101 "We have to get out of acting, Daniel." 715 00:34:39,970 --> 00:34:41,405 Mom was an actress? 716 00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:46,410 No. 717 00:34:46,510 --> 00:34:48,579 You just said, "We have to get out of acting." 718 00:34:48,879 --> 00:34:51,749 No. I must have misspelled something. 719 00:34:52,082 --> 00:34:53,083 What? 720 00:34:54,918 --> 00:34:55,753 What? 721 00:34:55,853 --> 00:34:58,221 You told me Mom was a social worker 722 00:34:58,321 --> 00:34:59,690 who died of caring too much. 723 00:35:02,392 --> 00:35:04,161 I said she... What did I say she did? 724 00:35:05,996 --> 00:35:07,598 Dad, did you lie to me? 725 00:35:07,698 --> 00:35:09,032 No, no, no, no. No? 726 00:35:09,132 --> 00:35:11,268 No. I... No. 727 00:35:11,569 --> 00:35:14,171 I probably was just, uh, protecting you. 728 00:35:15,272 --> 00:35:16,440 So, Mom was an actress? 729 00:35:18,175 --> 00:35:19,242 Well... 730 00:35:19,777 --> 00:35:21,445 Is there anything I could see her in? 731 00:35:22,112 --> 00:35:23,112 No. 732 00:35:24,147 --> 00:35:25,148 No? No. 733 00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:26,884 Well... 734 00:35:28,819 --> 00:35:31,088 What kind of movies did Mom make, Dad? 735 00:35:31,555 --> 00:35:32,990 Honestly, it's not that bad. 736 00:35:34,091 --> 00:35:35,793 She never used her real name. 737 00:35:37,294 --> 00:35:39,530 Do you have any, um... 738 00:35:39,630 --> 00:35:41,699 Do you have any Cookie Tushala movies? 739 00:35:42,933 --> 00:35:45,035 I'll check, but we're probably all out. 740 00:35:46,036 --> 00:35:47,304 Is that Katie Collins? 741 00:35:47,404 --> 00:35:49,306 Hi. Hi, Katie. 742 00:35:49,406 --> 00:35:51,775 I haven't seen you since you were at the house with... 743 00:35:53,176 --> 00:35:55,979 You're in luck. And this one's possibly her best, 744 00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:58,215 just for its utter lack of story. 745 00:35:59,016 --> 00:36:00,417 We heard about your grandfather. 746 00:36:00,518 --> 00:36:02,486 Oh, yes. We didn't know him very well, 747 00:36:02,586 --> 00:36:03,587 but we're very sorry. 748 00:36:03,687 --> 00:36:05,255 Oh, thanks so much. 749 00:36:05,355 --> 00:36:06,824 Yeah, that'll be $3.50. 750 00:36:07,925 --> 00:36:09,725 Does Ryan know you're here? 751 00:36:10,027 --> 00:36:13,030 Oh. Wait till he hears who we saw renting... 752 00:36:13,664 --> 00:36:14,832 Vagina Town. 753 00:36:15,733 --> 00:36:17,134 Thanks. 754 00:36:18,068 --> 00:36:19,236 It's a classic. 755 00:36:21,605 --> 00:36:22,806 How would I know? 756 00:36:29,246 --> 00:36:30,748 Be careful what you wish for. 757 00:36:49,099 --> 00:36:50,500 Uh, howdy, ma'am. 758 00:36:50,601 --> 00:36:52,069 Coming. 759 00:36:52,169 --> 00:36:54,209 I just rode into town from a long ride on the trail. 760 00:36:55,405 --> 00:36:57,841 We didn't see this town 761 00:36:57,941 --> 00:37:00,844 on any of our trail maps, ma'am. 762 00:37:00,944 --> 00:37:03,714 Hey, dudes. I'm looking for Katie. Hi. 763 00:37:03,814 --> 00:37:05,115 She's here somewhere. 764 00:37:05,983 --> 00:37:07,217 Cousin Katie! 765 00:37:07,317 --> 00:37:11,188 This is a town unlike any other town. 766 00:37:11,555 --> 00:37:12,690 Yes, ma'am. 767 00:37:12,790 --> 00:37:15,058 This is a very unusual town you have here. 768 00:37:15,425 --> 00:37:16,727 I hope you boys 769 00:37:16,827 --> 00:37:18,629 know how to ride bareback. 770 00:37:18,729 --> 00:37:21,899 Holy Jesus! His penis! 771 00:37:21,999 --> 00:37:23,279 Most people don't even like 772 00:37:23,333 --> 00:37:25,769 to think of their parents having sex with each other, 773 00:37:25,869 --> 00:37:28,071 much less multiple bad actors. 774 00:37:28,171 --> 00:37:29,206 I had to do something. 775 00:37:31,341 --> 00:37:32,810 Hey, I was watching that! 776 00:37:38,015 --> 00:37:39,016 Morning. 777 00:37:39,116 --> 00:37:40,116 Morning. 778 00:37:40,150 --> 00:37:41,151 Coffee? 779 00:37:41,251 --> 00:37:42,319 No. 780 00:37:43,787 --> 00:37:45,522 Other families have these sort of problems, 781 00:37:45,623 --> 00:37:47,557 but they don't talk about them, all right? 782 00:37:48,525 --> 00:37:50,961 I mean, I'm sorry. I live in the real world. 783 00:37:51,729 --> 00:37:54,131 I work hard at raising a decent family. 784 00:37:54,932 --> 00:37:55,966 Ugh! 785 00:37:56,066 --> 00:37:58,268 You don't see me prancing around in my pajamas all day, 786 00:37:58,368 --> 00:38:01,038 starting up pillow fights with my topless girlfriend. 787 00:38:02,973 --> 00:38:04,241 What are we talking about? 788 00:38:05,876 --> 00:38:07,945 It won't work. Everyone knows 789 00:38:08,045 --> 00:38:09,847 that the only gay relationships that last 790 00:38:09,947 --> 00:38:11,915 are between people of the same height. 791 00:38:13,817 --> 00:38:15,285 Did you and Lucy ever get along? 792 00:38:15,619 --> 00:38:17,087 Well, I guess. 793 00:38:17,454 --> 00:38:19,422 Well, when your grandfather was around, of course. 794 00:38:19,757 --> 00:38:21,091 He kept the peace? 795 00:38:21,191 --> 00:38:22,492 Uh, no, no, no. 796 00:38:22,592 --> 00:38:24,662 He just kept us on eggshells. 797 00:38:25,228 --> 00:38:28,098 He had us all so desperate for his approval. 798 00:38:29,399 --> 00:38:30,500 Well, look at your father. 799 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,202 He made a career out of it. 800 00:38:33,771 --> 00:38:34,771 Morning. Morning, Dad. 801 00:38:34,838 --> 00:38:36,006 Morning, Danny. 802 00:38:36,106 --> 00:38:37,450 Morning, everyone. DANIEL: Everybody sleep okay? 803 00:38:37,474 --> 00:38:39,009 Never. I did. 804 00:38:39,810 --> 00:38:41,354 Hey, did we have a blackout last night? 805 00:38:41,378 --> 00:38:42,279 That's what I heard. 806 00:38:42,379 --> 00:38:45,015 Yeah, we sure did. I couldn't even find my room... 807 00:38:45,916 --> 00:38:47,651 What? You found my room all right. 808 00:38:48,085 --> 00:38:48,919 It was dark. 809 00:38:49,019 --> 00:38:50,854 So you hid in my closet? 810 00:38:52,756 --> 00:38:54,124 With your kids? 811 00:38:54,224 --> 00:38:55,625 We were lost. 812 00:38:56,193 --> 00:38:58,161 Um, hey, you guys, listen to this. 813 00:38:58,261 --> 00:38:59,396 Tell me how it sounds. 814 00:39:00,297 --> 00:39:02,766 "Grandpa made us aware that there is" 815 00:39:02,866 --> 00:39:05,035 "a whole world of opportunity out there." 816 00:39:06,169 --> 00:39:06,970 He did? 817 00:39:07,070 --> 00:39:08,405 Who are we talking about? 818 00:39:08,505 --> 00:39:09,673 Grandpa. Oh. 819 00:39:09,773 --> 00:39:11,374 Tell her about the time that, uh, 820 00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:13,176 Dad built us that swing. 821 00:39:13,410 --> 00:39:14,812 That was Carl, the neighbor. 822 00:39:15,312 --> 00:39:16,479 Mr. Grabby. 823 00:39:16,579 --> 00:39:18,415 Mr. Grabby built the swing? 824 00:39:18,515 --> 00:39:21,284 Mmm. Oh, he was so creepy. 825 00:39:22,019 --> 00:39:24,487 He'd put his hand on your shoulder and announce, "You're it." 826 00:39:24,822 --> 00:39:26,123 Then he wouldn't run away. 827 00:39:26,223 --> 00:39:27,991 He wouldn't even take his hand away. 828 00:39:28,091 --> 00:39:29,326 Right. 829 00:39:29,693 --> 00:39:31,594 Um, hi, you guys. 830 00:39:31,695 --> 00:39:33,463 Um, there was a lot of paperwork, 831 00:39:33,563 --> 00:39:34,763 and I had to pull some strings 832 00:39:34,832 --> 00:39:35,832 and sign a lot of names, 833 00:39:35,866 --> 00:39:37,968 but she's back. 834 00:39:38,201 --> 00:39:39,636 Grandma. There she is. 835 00:39:39,737 --> 00:39:40,897 Hi, Mother. Hey, Mom. 836 00:39:41,238 --> 00:39:43,206 Try it again, I'll kill you myself. 837 00:39:44,241 --> 00:39:45,542 Alice. 838 00:39:45,642 --> 00:39:49,012 Well, I have to get back to work, so... Bye. 839 00:39:49,112 --> 00:39:50,247 Thanks, Sam. 840 00:39:51,314 --> 00:39:52,315 What happened, Grandma? 841 00:39:52,415 --> 00:39:53,751 Nothing happened. 842 00:39:53,851 --> 00:39:56,119 I was just a little confused. 843 00:39:56,519 --> 00:39:57,654 About what? 844 00:39:57,755 --> 00:40:00,657 Well, I thought the vows we took were forever. 845 00:40:00,758 --> 00:40:01,759 They were. 846 00:40:01,859 --> 00:40:03,727 It's just that your forever 847 00:40:03,827 --> 00:40:05,929 was longer than Grandpa's forever. 848 00:40:06,897 --> 00:40:09,299 Hi, everybody. ALL: Hey, Ryan. 849 00:40:09,399 --> 00:40:10,768 Katie. 850 00:40:11,234 --> 00:40:13,403 Hey, Ryan. 851 00:40:14,271 --> 00:40:15,338 How are you? 852 00:40:15,806 --> 00:40:17,474 Good. Um... 853 00:40:19,042 --> 00:40:20,477 I'm sorry about your grandfather. 854 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,548 Hey. You know... 855 00:40:25,983 --> 00:40:28,385 He died. 856 00:40:29,352 --> 00:40:32,923 Yeah. Um... You know, it's... You can't, uh... 857 00:40:36,659 --> 00:40:38,829 You want to, like, go for a walk or... 858 00:40:55,245 --> 00:40:56,279 So... 859 00:40:57,815 --> 00:40:59,116 So... 860 00:41:00,818 --> 00:41:03,821 Still driving a taxi? Yeah. Yep. 861 00:41:04,922 --> 00:41:06,456 To save up money for college. 862 00:41:07,825 --> 00:41:09,192 Are you mad at me? 863 00:41:09,292 --> 00:41:10,493 No. 864 00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:13,530 Really? Really. I mean it. 865 00:41:15,265 --> 00:41:16,533 You're a great kid. 866 00:41:19,736 --> 00:41:21,238 Um... Thanks, Coach. 867 00:41:24,241 --> 00:41:26,877 No, I just... I just think that... 868 00:41:28,545 --> 00:41:29,825 What happened last summer was... 869 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:32,182 What? What happened? 870 00:41:33,884 --> 00:41:35,118 At your house. 871 00:41:38,421 --> 00:41:39,556 After the movie. 872 00:41:48,999 --> 00:41:50,467 Oh, you don't mean 873 00:41:51,501 --> 00:41:54,571 that time when you attacked me at the movie theater, 874 00:41:54,671 --> 00:41:56,173 and then you came over to my place 875 00:41:56,273 --> 00:41:57,774 and took all your clothes off 876 00:41:57,875 --> 00:41:59,642 and then ran out without saying goodbye. 877 00:42:00,177 --> 00:42:01,544 Is that what you're talking about? 878 00:42:02,779 --> 00:42:03,813 Katie. 879 00:42:04,214 --> 00:42:06,416 Knock-knock. Who's there? 880 00:42:06,516 --> 00:42:08,418 Salmon. Salmon who? 881 00:42:08,518 --> 00:42:09,853 Salmonella. 882 00:42:10,420 --> 00:42:11,855 What are you doing? 883 00:42:12,389 --> 00:42:13,423 Science experiment. 884 00:42:13,523 --> 00:42:16,426 How many eggs does it take to make them say something? 885 00:42:17,060 --> 00:42:18,728 Speak, young cousins. 886 00:42:18,962 --> 00:42:20,931 Burt, you see what's going on here? 887 00:42:23,100 --> 00:42:24,167 Burt. 888 00:42:24,267 --> 00:42:25,368 Oh. Uh... 889 00:42:34,444 --> 00:42:36,446 What has Alice done to all of you? 890 00:42:40,117 --> 00:42:42,252 Now, this is my favorite. 891 00:42:42,819 --> 00:42:45,355 Cherry, inlaid olive, 892 00:42:45,889 --> 00:42:47,624 and real brass fittings. 893 00:42:48,758 --> 00:42:51,294 At just $32,000, it's quite a steal. 894 00:42:51,962 --> 00:42:53,696 Just $32,000? 895 00:42:54,131 --> 00:42:56,466 How much does it cost to stick him in a garbage bag? 896 00:42:56,566 --> 00:42:57,667 Mother! 897 00:42:57,767 --> 00:42:59,236 What does he care? Mom, 898 00:42:59,336 --> 00:43:02,005 it's just unbelievably disrespectful. 899 00:43:02,105 --> 00:43:03,974 This isn't even going in the ground. 900 00:43:04,241 --> 00:43:05,308 What? 901 00:43:05,608 --> 00:43:06,609 What do you mean? 902 00:43:06,709 --> 00:43:11,314 Dad wanted us to float him out in a flaming boat. 903 00:43:11,781 --> 00:43:13,283 I'm not sure that's legal. 904 00:43:14,084 --> 00:43:15,618 Great. 905 00:43:15,919 --> 00:43:18,488 Well, my kids are not staying for that. 906 00:43:18,956 --> 00:43:21,024 Why doesn't he want to be buried? 907 00:43:21,324 --> 00:43:22,759 I don't want to be buried. 908 00:43:22,859 --> 00:43:24,594 No. This is not about you. 909 00:43:24,694 --> 00:43:25,762 I hate bugs. 910 00:43:25,862 --> 00:43:28,365 Yeah, I have to admit, I don't exactly get 911 00:43:28,465 --> 00:43:30,400 the whole cemetery thing myself. 912 00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:34,437 A cemetery is like an old-age home for the dead, 913 00:43:35,672 --> 00:43:39,109 a place where you can visit your loved ones without the bother 914 00:43:39,209 --> 00:43:41,344 of daily care and maintenance. 915 00:43:41,444 --> 00:43:42,612 Daily care? 916 00:43:42,912 --> 00:43:44,381 Oh, you'd be surprised. 917 00:43:45,715 --> 00:43:47,517 Ah, Parson Banke. 918 00:43:48,918 --> 00:43:50,487 Sad business. 919 00:43:50,820 --> 00:43:51,888 Sad business. 920 00:43:51,989 --> 00:43:53,957 This is the surviving Collins family. 921 00:43:54,057 --> 00:43:55,325 I'm Alice Collins. 922 00:43:55,425 --> 00:43:56,526 Hi. I'm Daniel. 923 00:43:56,626 --> 00:43:59,129 Daniel. Hi. 924 00:43:59,229 --> 00:44:00,397 Hi. 925 00:44:04,167 --> 00:44:07,004 They're mourning the loss of their beloved Edmund. 926 00:44:08,905 --> 00:44:10,940 Ah. Ah. 927 00:44:14,011 --> 00:44:17,514 I didn't know Edmund as well as I should have. 928 00:44:20,383 --> 00:44:21,951 Perhaps if we had ever met. 929 00:44:26,789 --> 00:44:28,225 Katie. 930 00:44:29,159 --> 00:44:32,329 Katie. Katie. Katie, Katie, Katie, I'm sorry. 931 00:44:32,762 --> 00:44:34,197 I'm sorry. 932 00:44:35,565 --> 00:44:38,435 I don't want anything that may or may not have happened between us 933 00:44:39,002 --> 00:44:40,303 to affect our friendship. 934 00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:43,740 You mean that? Yeah. 935 00:44:44,007 --> 00:44:46,709 I don't have any friends like you. 936 00:44:47,277 --> 00:44:49,412 So we'll be friends? Yeah. 937 00:44:49,979 --> 00:44:52,182 Always were. Right? 938 00:44:55,085 --> 00:44:56,353 Thank you. 939 00:45:05,928 --> 00:45:07,340 Well, I don't know why everything has to be 940 00:45:07,364 --> 00:45:09,299 such a production with this family. 941 00:45:10,433 --> 00:45:12,001 We didn't need to buy one. 942 00:45:12,569 --> 00:45:14,537 The basement's loaded with boxes. 943 00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:16,073 You don't bring your own, Mom. 944 00:45:16,173 --> 00:45:18,408 But we did buy one. We bought a box. 945 00:45:18,608 --> 00:45:19,409 So, it's over. 946 00:45:19,509 --> 00:45:21,844 Looked more like a shipping crate, but... 947 00:45:22,579 --> 00:45:24,547 Your father would have wanted a bag. 948 00:45:25,382 --> 00:45:27,650 Look, could we just try to act normal 949 00:45:27,750 --> 00:45:29,986 for the next two days? Would that be possible? 950 00:45:30,087 --> 00:45:33,723 Does that include you, or are you just telling everybody else what to do? 951 00:45:33,823 --> 00:45:35,192 Look, don't cast me in the role 952 00:45:35,292 --> 00:45:36,926 of crazed control freak, all right? 953 00:45:37,026 --> 00:45:38,595 Stop auditioning for it. 954 00:45:38,695 --> 00:45:41,398 I just wanted to put my dead father in a nice box. 955 00:45:41,498 --> 00:45:43,600 You want to put everyone in a box. 956 00:45:44,067 --> 00:45:45,235 The ineffectual mother box, 957 00:45:45,335 --> 00:45:47,337 the struggling actor box. 958 00:45:48,071 --> 00:45:49,439 People put themselves in boxes. 959 00:45:49,539 --> 00:45:50,907 I just label them. 960 00:45:51,608 --> 00:45:53,510 Like the rebellious, teenage lesbian box 961 00:45:53,610 --> 00:45:55,812 that you're still stuck in at 35. 962 00:45:55,912 --> 00:45:57,314 Stop it. Stop it! 963 00:45:57,414 --> 00:45:59,949 Ladies. Don't start your shit with me, little sis! 964 00:46:00,049 --> 00:46:01,818 I'm warning you... 965 00:46:01,918 --> 00:46:04,154 Something is stuck to my tongue! 966 00:46:14,964 --> 00:46:16,366 Try not to worry so much. 967 00:46:16,766 --> 00:46:19,202 Everything is gonna work out for you kids. 968 00:46:20,069 --> 00:46:22,705 And always remember to brush before bed. 969 00:46:31,514 --> 00:46:32,514 Uh, guys... 970 00:46:36,018 --> 00:46:37,086 So, that was really lucky. 971 00:46:37,187 --> 00:46:38,921 You guys were right there, hmm? 972 00:46:39,088 --> 00:46:41,258 Yeah. Um... 973 00:46:42,159 --> 00:46:43,926 That was lucky. Yeah. 974 00:46:44,127 --> 00:46:45,462 Um, you guys... 975 00:46:46,896 --> 00:46:47,897 Sam. 976 00:46:47,997 --> 00:46:49,007 Is she gonna be all right? 977 00:46:49,031 --> 00:46:50,833 Um, she's... She's gonna be fine. 978 00:46:51,100 --> 00:46:52,902 She snapped a few bones, 979 00:46:53,536 --> 00:46:55,372 mostly shoulder and face, 980 00:46:55,738 --> 00:46:56,806 a couple of ribs. 981 00:46:57,274 --> 00:46:58,551 But they slapped her in a halfie. 982 00:46:58,575 --> 00:47:00,410 Oh, well, that's good, right? 983 00:47:01,077 --> 00:47:02,077 Can we see her? 984 00:47:02,111 --> 00:47:03,480 Not until she hardens, 985 00:47:03,580 --> 00:47:06,849 and, you know, even then, it might not be, um, a great idea. 986 00:47:06,949 --> 00:47:08,194 She might want to be left alone, 987 00:47:08,218 --> 00:47:10,753 because usually people are kind of embarrassed 988 00:47:10,853 --> 00:47:12,789 after an accident like that. 989 00:47:13,156 --> 00:47:14,924 It wasn't an accident. 990 00:47:15,525 --> 00:47:17,494 Well, it is what it is. 991 00:47:17,794 --> 00:47:21,097 So, um, why don't you guys, uh, go home, 992 00:47:21,198 --> 00:47:22,865 and then I'll... I'll give you an update 993 00:47:22,965 --> 00:47:24,167 when I get off of work. 994 00:47:25,602 --> 00:47:28,238 I'm sorry, you had to see my grandma like that. 995 00:47:30,773 --> 00:47:33,343 I've never seen anyone like that. 996 00:47:36,979 --> 00:47:38,181 Hey. 997 00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:45,688 You okay? Oh, yeah. 998 00:47:48,024 --> 00:47:51,261 This weekend just keeps getting better and better. 999 00:47:52,094 --> 00:47:53,930 Your grandmother's gonna be fine, okay? 1000 00:47:54,030 --> 00:47:55,465 And your grandfather... 1001 00:47:57,033 --> 00:47:58,201 He's, um... 1002 00:47:59,068 --> 00:48:01,170 I'm sorry. 1003 00:48:01,404 --> 00:48:03,840 I still have to think of something 1004 00:48:04,941 --> 00:48:06,743 to say about him that's 1005 00:48:06,843 --> 00:48:10,213 nicer than, "He wasn't a freak like the rest of you." 1006 00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:12,181 You could talk about 1007 00:48:12,282 --> 00:48:14,217 how his eyes would light up when he saw you. 1008 00:48:16,085 --> 00:48:17,854 Or how they'd narrow 1009 00:48:17,954 --> 00:48:19,356 when he saw me. 1010 00:48:22,292 --> 00:48:23,693 Feel a little better? 1011 00:48:28,765 --> 00:48:31,067 Did she say anything before she jumped? 1012 00:48:33,970 --> 00:48:35,472 "Brush your teeth." 1013 00:48:35,938 --> 00:48:37,574 Oral hygiene freak. 1014 00:48:38,941 --> 00:48:39,976 Shh! 1015 00:48:41,344 --> 00:48:42,845 I heard something. 1016 00:48:46,182 --> 00:48:47,650 Malice. 1017 00:48:50,687 --> 00:48:52,088 Yeah, what ever happened to Alice? 1018 00:48:52,722 --> 00:48:55,057 Yeah. Who dumped her in the bitch tank? 1019 00:48:58,828 --> 00:49:01,197 She wasn't like this when we were kids. 1020 00:49:01,664 --> 00:49:03,032 Wait a second. 1021 00:49:03,132 --> 00:49:04,209 We're talking about Alice here? 1022 00:49:04,233 --> 00:49:08,338 Yeah. Alice was fun 1023 00:49:08,438 --> 00:49:10,039 and mischievous. 1024 00:49:10,773 --> 00:49:12,442 We're talking about your sister Alice? 1025 00:49:12,542 --> 00:49:13,710 Yeah. 1026 00:49:13,810 --> 00:49:14,877 What happened? 1027 00:49:15,578 --> 00:49:17,880 You know how some women respond to motherhood? 1028 00:49:21,384 --> 00:49:22,552 Some don't. 1029 00:49:27,056 --> 00:49:28,224 It's Kate. 1030 00:49:28,891 --> 00:49:31,361 What are you guys doing down here? 1031 00:49:32,962 --> 00:49:34,631 Just sitting and... 1032 00:49:35,264 --> 00:49:36,733 Smoking pot again? 1033 00:49:39,569 --> 00:49:40,770 That's what we're doing. 1034 00:49:41,170 --> 00:49:42,772 Your family's a weed-head. 1035 00:49:44,407 --> 00:49:47,444 Remember, remember the crew cuts in high school? 1036 00:49:48,244 --> 00:49:49,546 You and Alice 1037 00:49:50,179 --> 00:49:51,381 fought the dress code there. 1038 00:49:52,181 --> 00:49:53,249 She was cool. 1039 00:49:53,650 --> 00:49:55,450 Remember when she used to sing? Remember that? 1040 00:49:55,818 --> 00:49:57,053 My Aunt Alice? 1041 00:49:57,454 --> 00:49:59,356 Alice and Blue. 1042 00:49:59,756 --> 00:50:02,291 Yeah, whatever happened to Alice and Blue? 1043 00:50:04,894 --> 00:50:06,496 Whatever happened to any of us, really? 1044 00:50:06,596 --> 00:50:08,465 What happened to us? I mean, 1045 00:50:09,699 --> 00:50:11,968 what's gonna happen? We're gonna close our eyes, and then 1046 00:50:12,068 --> 00:50:14,371 we're gonna open up, and we're all gonna be on a big 1047 00:50:14,471 --> 00:50:15,905 flaming rowboat. 1048 00:50:17,106 --> 00:50:18,641 Dead on a boat. 1049 00:50:20,710 --> 00:50:22,421 Yeah, how are we supposed to do that, by the way? 1050 00:50:22,445 --> 00:50:23,946 Do what? Mom said that 1051 00:50:24,046 --> 00:50:25,748 Dad wants us to 1052 00:50:26,082 --> 00:50:27,450 put him in his little rowboat. 1053 00:50:27,550 --> 00:50:29,395 I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding here. 1054 00:50:29,419 --> 00:50:30,820 And light it on fire. 1055 00:50:31,488 --> 00:50:32,989 And launch him out to sea. 1056 00:50:33,089 --> 00:50:34,357 Like the Vikings. 1057 00:50:34,457 --> 00:50:35,925 Hmm. And you listened to her? 1058 00:50:36,359 --> 00:50:37,870 Good thing he didn't want us to eat him. 1059 00:50:38,828 --> 00:50:40,997 Hey, my boys will help, when we do that. 1060 00:50:41,197 --> 00:50:42,231 That's comforting. 1061 00:50:42,331 --> 00:50:43,700 When I die, 1062 00:50:45,568 --> 00:50:46,903 I want to be cremated. 1063 00:50:47,003 --> 00:50:48,004 Oh, me, too. 1064 00:50:48,337 --> 00:50:49,338 Yeah, me, too. 1065 00:50:49,439 --> 00:50:50,559 I want you to take my ashes, 1066 00:50:50,607 --> 00:50:52,341 and I want you to mix them 1067 00:50:53,009 --> 00:50:55,645 with the ink that the government uses to print money. 1068 00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:01,050 Yes. And then... And then I'll be everywhere. 1069 00:51:05,788 --> 00:51:07,990 So, this is how you choose to 1070 00:51:08,791 --> 00:51:10,460 spend the time, while mother 1071 00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,662 is hardening in the hospital? That's cool. 1072 00:51:13,129 --> 00:51:14,129 Emotion denied. 1073 00:51:14,664 --> 00:51:16,132 Hey, give me that joint. 1074 00:51:16,633 --> 00:51:17,767 Give me the joint. 1075 00:51:32,214 --> 00:51:33,282 Uh-oh. 1076 00:51:33,716 --> 00:51:36,085 She's adding ingredients to her personality. 1077 00:51:36,853 --> 00:51:38,187 You know, um, now 1078 00:51:38,688 --> 00:51:40,890 might be a good time for you to get stories. 1079 00:51:41,290 --> 00:51:42,859 About you grandfather. 1080 00:51:43,392 --> 00:51:44,770 You know what I would say if he was here? 1081 00:51:44,794 --> 00:51:47,196 Right now? I'll tell you what I'd say if he was here. 1082 00:51:47,964 --> 00:51:49,999 Say, "Hey, Dad. You got another son." 1083 00:51:50,099 --> 00:51:51,434 "You got another kid." 1084 00:51:51,701 --> 00:51:53,436 "There's two of us, all right?" 1085 00:51:53,536 --> 00:51:55,838 "Don't you remember? Don't you remember the Skipper?" 1086 00:51:56,205 --> 00:51:57,740 "Oh, no, no." 1087 00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:01,377 "That's my boy. That's my... That's my Danny boy." 1088 00:52:01,811 --> 00:52:03,145 "He's my boy, my Danny boy." 1089 00:52:03,245 --> 00:52:04,514 Well, what about me? 1090 00:52:04,614 --> 00:52:06,616 What about... Look what I can do. 1091 00:52:06,716 --> 00:52:09,919 Huh? Look what I stuck to my face, Dad. 1092 00:52:10,186 --> 00:52:11,988 Huh? Can I be your boy? 1093 00:52:12,088 --> 00:52:13,590 Can I be your boy? 1094 00:52:14,290 --> 00:52:15,992 I'm right in front of you! 1095 00:52:20,229 --> 00:52:21,631 This is good shit. 1096 00:52:22,965 --> 00:52:23,965 Oh, yeah. 1097 00:52:24,033 --> 00:52:26,068 You know, that's a great example for your daughter. 1098 00:52:26,903 --> 00:52:27,903 I'm not here. 1099 00:52:32,141 --> 00:52:34,677 Uh, nice to see you all. 1100 00:52:35,512 --> 00:52:37,614 She said she wasn't here, but 1101 00:52:38,047 --> 00:52:39,115 she was here. 1102 00:52:48,891 --> 00:52:51,293 I don't know if your, uh, grandparents ever told you, 1103 00:52:51,393 --> 00:52:53,229 but I used to go up there and hang out 1104 00:52:53,329 --> 00:52:54,864 when you weren't around, 1105 00:52:55,732 --> 00:52:58,568 till your grandfather hit me with a rock. 1106 00:52:59,101 --> 00:53:00,570 You coming? Yeah. 1107 00:53:05,742 --> 00:53:07,577 He said he thought I was a crow. 1108 00:53:08,745 --> 00:53:11,113 I was not his favorite person. 1109 00:53:18,555 --> 00:53:20,189 What am I gonna say about him? 1110 00:53:20,790 --> 00:53:22,992 What would you want people to say about you? 1111 00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:25,261 What could you say about me? 1112 00:53:28,631 --> 00:53:30,199 What would I say about you? 1113 00:53:47,516 --> 00:53:50,052 We had a... A dress code in high school. 1114 00:53:50,519 --> 00:53:53,189 We had to wear skirts, 1115 00:53:53,289 --> 00:53:54,824 blouses, little vests. 1116 00:53:55,224 --> 00:53:57,193 And Alice talked 1117 00:53:57,293 --> 00:53:59,295 a bunch of girls, maybe 20, 1118 00:53:59,395 --> 00:54:01,097 into protesting it. 1119 00:54:01,463 --> 00:54:02,932 So, they come to school, 1120 00:54:03,032 --> 00:54:06,302 and they're wearing jeans and hot pants... 1121 00:54:07,236 --> 00:54:08,504 The headmaster lost it. 1122 00:54:09,005 --> 00:54:11,808 He suspended them, so next week... 1123 00:54:19,982 --> 00:54:21,317 Next week? 1124 00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:24,153 What's next week? 1125 00:54:24,253 --> 00:54:25,655 Sweetie... 1126 00:54:26,322 --> 00:54:27,790 You were telling a story. 1127 00:54:29,491 --> 00:54:30,927 Yeah, you were telling a story. 1128 00:54:32,361 --> 00:54:34,063 Alice and the dress code. 1129 00:54:36,265 --> 00:54:37,399 Oh, God. 1130 00:54:37,499 --> 00:54:39,301 We had a dress code in high school. 1131 00:54:40,169 --> 00:54:42,371 We had to wear these little uniforms... 1132 00:54:42,471 --> 00:54:44,006 We heard this part. 1133 00:54:45,675 --> 00:54:49,311 With the... With blouses and things like this. 1134 00:54:49,411 --> 00:54:53,149 And Alice talked a bunch of girls, maybe 20... 1135 00:54:53,349 --> 00:54:54,450 Fast-forward. 1136 00:54:56,118 --> 00:55:00,957 And they come to school wearing hot pants and jeans... 1137 00:55:01,724 --> 00:55:03,359 And so, the next week, 1138 00:55:03,893 --> 00:55:08,297 they come back to school wearing the uniform, 1139 00:55:08,597 --> 00:55:10,299 but they had crew cuts. 1140 00:55:13,502 --> 00:55:16,505 You know, I can't remember a time that you weren't telling that story. 1141 00:55:16,605 --> 00:55:18,440 No. She was my hero. 1142 00:55:18,808 --> 00:55:20,109 I'll have some. 1143 00:55:20,209 --> 00:55:22,779 No. You've had quite enough, my darling. 1144 00:55:24,747 --> 00:55:26,215 You remember when we used to 1145 00:55:26,849 --> 00:55:29,285 try to listen for each other's thoughts? 1146 00:55:29,385 --> 00:55:31,020 Okay, I got one. 1147 00:55:31,654 --> 00:55:34,123 No. Tell me the first thought. 1148 00:55:34,824 --> 00:55:36,625 Tell me what I'm thinking. 1149 00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:41,397 You're thinking, "I hope he doesn't ask me about my first thought again." 1150 00:55:47,737 --> 00:55:49,672 Oh, it's drizzling. 1151 00:55:51,240 --> 00:55:52,274 It's nice. 1152 00:55:53,609 --> 00:55:54,911 Yeah. Yeah. 1153 00:55:57,780 --> 00:55:59,481 You know, Sam, thanks. 1154 00:55:59,581 --> 00:56:01,550 Thanks for helping us so much. 1155 00:56:01,650 --> 00:56:03,753 Oh, anything for you, Alice. 1156 00:56:05,654 --> 00:56:07,389 Oh, that's nice. All right. 1157 00:56:07,824 --> 00:56:09,434 Do you want to hear something really pretty? 1158 00:56:09,458 --> 00:56:11,527 A song. I've been listening to it. 1159 00:56:11,861 --> 00:56:13,529 Yeah. Okay. On the way here. 1160 00:56:14,130 --> 00:56:16,398 I still think this tree house needs a second storey. 1161 00:56:17,666 --> 00:56:19,368 That was one of our better ideas. 1162 00:56:21,237 --> 00:56:22,671 Who knew 1163 00:56:23,472 --> 00:56:24,841 that wood paneling 1164 00:56:24,941 --> 00:56:26,342 wouldn't make a solid floor? 1165 00:56:26,442 --> 00:56:27,844 You know? 1166 00:56:27,944 --> 00:56:30,412 Everybody. Yeah, exactly. 1167 00:56:30,679 --> 00:56:32,882 And they kept telling us. Yeah. 1168 00:56:34,350 --> 00:56:35,684 We had a dream. 1169 00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:38,187 We did. 1170 00:56:42,759 --> 00:56:44,727 I still dream about you. 1171 00:57:01,143 --> 00:57:02,879 Hey, what ever happened to that guy 1172 00:57:02,979 --> 00:57:05,147 that you were going with in college? 1173 00:57:05,347 --> 00:57:08,117 Um... Oh, nothing. 1174 00:57:10,086 --> 00:57:11,087 Hmm. 1175 00:57:13,422 --> 00:57:14,656 Hey, Alice. 1176 00:57:15,024 --> 00:57:16,544 You remember when your father walked in 1177 00:57:16,625 --> 00:57:18,127 on us in the basement? 1178 00:57:25,968 --> 00:57:27,804 Were we doing this? 1179 00:57:32,641 --> 00:57:34,010 Kind of. 1180 00:57:35,845 --> 00:57:37,379 Were we doing this? 1181 00:57:43,319 --> 00:57:45,121 Um... Sort of. 1182 00:58:14,083 --> 00:58:15,818 What are you guys doing here? 1183 00:58:15,918 --> 00:58:17,086 Just looking. 1184 00:58:17,319 --> 00:58:19,388 He's fogging up my window. Shut up. 1185 00:58:19,488 --> 00:58:21,423 Stop. What is that? 1186 00:58:30,867 --> 00:58:32,434 We've got to go inside. Come on. 1187 00:58:38,707 --> 00:58:39,976 What are you guys looking at? 1188 00:58:40,576 --> 00:58:42,144 That's Samantha's car. 1189 00:58:42,945 --> 00:58:44,480 I love you guys. 1190 00:58:54,690 --> 00:58:56,325 Oh! You! 1191 00:58:56,692 --> 00:58:57,927 And now 1192 00:58:58,594 --> 00:59:01,830 Miss Katherine Ann Collins will bestow upon us 1193 00:59:02,531 --> 00:59:04,233 a few comforting words 1194 00:59:04,967 --> 00:59:06,468 in our time of bereavement. 1195 00:59:16,913 --> 00:59:19,281 Edmund Collins was a great man, 1196 00:59:19,381 --> 00:59:21,550 who we all loved 1197 00:59:21,817 --> 00:59:22,985 very deeply. 1198 00:59:23,385 --> 00:59:25,021 Oh, God! 1199 00:59:30,359 --> 00:59:33,762 And he made us feel special about ourselves... 1200 00:59:33,862 --> 00:59:36,065 Oh, come on, Katie! 1201 00:59:36,165 --> 00:59:37,166 Grandpa! 1202 00:59:37,466 --> 00:59:39,401 Sweetheart, you could do better than that. 1203 00:59:39,501 --> 00:59:41,237 I, uh... 1204 00:59:41,603 --> 00:59:43,005 You, uh... 1205 00:59:43,105 --> 00:59:44,873 That's the way you talk when you've been 1206 00:59:44,974 --> 00:59:47,176 hanging around that local boy too much. 1207 00:59:47,876 --> 00:59:49,345 I know what you've been doing. 1208 00:59:49,912 --> 00:59:51,480 'Cause I can see everything. 1209 00:59:51,747 --> 00:59:53,115 I'm sorry, Grandpa. 1210 00:59:54,216 --> 00:59:55,985 I'm depending on you, sweetie. 1211 00:59:56,085 --> 00:59:57,419 Yes, Grandpa. 1212 00:59:57,519 --> 00:59:58,887 So, don't let me ever 1213 00:59:58,988 --> 01:00:01,523 catch you fooling around with that delinquent, 1214 01:00:01,623 --> 01:00:04,226 or I swear I'll... 1215 01:00:25,781 --> 01:00:27,216 Good morning. 1216 01:00:31,587 --> 01:00:32,588 Okay... 1217 01:00:32,788 --> 01:00:34,290 Um... 1218 01:00:35,024 --> 01:00:36,592 Is Alice up? 1219 01:00:42,664 --> 01:00:44,000 Are you leaving? 1220 01:00:46,735 --> 01:00:47,936 Yes. 1221 01:00:50,572 --> 01:00:51,640 Okay. 1222 01:00:56,045 --> 01:00:57,179 Morning. Morning. 1223 01:00:57,279 --> 01:00:58,280 Morning. 1224 01:00:58,947 --> 01:01:00,149 Where is she? 1225 01:01:00,249 --> 01:01:01,783 I don't know. 1226 01:01:01,883 --> 01:01:03,452 She didn't leave with Samantha? 1227 01:01:04,786 --> 01:01:05,954 Morning. 1228 01:01:06,055 --> 01:01:07,323 Morning. 1229 01:01:07,423 --> 01:01:08,657 Where's, uh... 1230 01:01:08,824 --> 01:01:10,259 We don't know. 1231 01:01:10,359 --> 01:01:12,561 Well, did she leave... No, she didn't. 1232 01:01:13,195 --> 01:01:14,930 I saw her get out of the car, 1233 01:01:15,031 --> 01:01:17,199 and I saw her go towards the woods. 1234 01:01:20,236 --> 01:01:23,472 And then she just became 1235 01:01:24,706 --> 01:01:28,310 a tiny, screaming... 1236 01:01:28,410 --> 01:01:29,410 I'm sorry. 1237 01:01:29,678 --> 01:01:31,398 There are only two hours before the funeral, 1238 01:01:31,447 --> 01:01:32,727 and I really need some help here. 1239 01:01:32,814 --> 01:01:33,982 Two hours? Mmm! 1240 01:01:34,216 --> 01:01:35,551 I got to shower. 1241 01:01:35,651 --> 01:01:36,861 Hey, are you guys getting dressed up? 1242 01:01:36,885 --> 01:01:38,187 Hey, hey, hey, you guys. 1243 01:01:38,287 --> 01:01:41,323 Could one of you please tell me 1244 01:01:41,423 --> 01:01:43,959 one nice thing 1245 01:01:44,060 --> 01:01:47,096 I can say about your dead father? 1246 01:01:53,602 --> 01:01:56,238 He often called me Andrea for no reason. 1247 01:01:58,440 --> 01:01:59,741 I was Barry. 1248 01:02:01,143 --> 01:02:02,154 Wait a minute. What about... 1249 01:02:02,178 --> 01:02:03,545 Remember Thanksgiving, 1250 01:02:03,645 --> 01:02:06,248 and that crazy lady broke in the house? Oh, my God... 1251 01:02:06,348 --> 01:02:07,883 Yes, that woman with the red hair. 1252 01:02:07,983 --> 01:02:09,385 Yep, yep, and remember. 1253 01:02:09,485 --> 01:02:11,253 She took the, the leg off a turkey 1254 01:02:11,353 --> 01:02:13,355 and started banging it on the table, 1255 01:02:13,689 --> 01:02:15,691 and screaming something about Easter? 1256 01:02:15,791 --> 01:02:17,693 That's... Easter. That's right. 1257 01:02:17,793 --> 01:02:19,027 You remember how cool Dad was? 1258 01:02:19,895 --> 01:02:22,131 He leapt over the table, swept her off her feet, 1259 01:02:22,231 --> 01:02:24,200 and carried her out the front door. 1260 01:02:24,300 --> 01:02:26,034 "He protected us." 1261 01:02:27,636 --> 01:02:28,636 What else? 1262 01:02:30,639 --> 01:02:32,241 Why don't you 1263 01:02:32,874 --> 01:02:34,443 read a passage 1264 01:02:35,811 --> 01:02:38,380 from Death of a Salesman? 1265 01:02:40,316 --> 01:02:42,584 I don't know any. 1266 01:02:43,485 --> 01:02:44,553 I do. 1267 01:02:45,287 --> 01:02:47,723 "Put up your hands. Goddamn you!" 1268 01:02:47,823 --> 01:02:49,691 "Put up your hands. Ha." 1269 01:02:52,294 --> 01:02:54,563 "What do you think you are, better than everybody else?" 1270 01:02:56,398 --> 01:02:57,566 "You don't know everything! 1271 01:02:57,666 --> 01:03:01,069 "You don't know, you big ignorant, stupid... 1272 01:03:01,703 --> 01:03:04,740 "Put... Put up your goddamn hands! 1273 01:03:05,941 --> 01:03:07,576 "Put up your hands. 1274 01:03:07,676 --> 01:03:09,911 "Attention must be paid." 1275 01:03:10,379 --> 01:03:12,214 "You ratted on us, Terry!" 1276 01:03:13,048 --> 01:03:14,783 "You ratted on us." 1277 01:03:15,217 --> 01:03:16,218 Shut up! 1278 01:03:16,318 --> 01:03:18,187 Hi, Katie. Ryan. 1279 01:03:18,654 --> 01:03:19,654 How's your leg? 1280 01:03:20,656 --> 01:03:22,324 It's... You know... 1281 01:03:22,624 --> 01:03:23,624 Broken. 1282 01:03:24,526 --> 01:03:25,694 I'm sorry. 1283 01:03:25,794 --> 01:03:27,463 It's okay. Uh, here. 1284 01:03:29,798 --> 01:03:30,798 Here. 1285 01:03:32,934 --> 01:03:33,969 What's this? 1286 01:03:34,403 --> 01:03:35,771 That's the answer to your question. 1287 01:03:37,005 --> 01:03:38,740 Uh, before you open it, 1288 01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:40,276 uh, can we maybe... 1289 01:03:40,809 --> 01:03:41,810 Like, go inside and talk? 1290 01:03:41,977 --> 01:03:43,712 Oh, it's... 1291 01:03:43,812 --> 01:03:45,147 It's kind of crazy in there. 1292 01:03:45,747 --> 01:03:46,915 Okay. 1293 01:03:47,449 --> 01:03:48,660 Do you wanna go somewhere else? 1294 01:03:48,684 --> 01:03:50,452 Um... 1295 01:03:51,153 --> 01:03:53,389 This is kind of a bad time for me. I... 1296 01:03:54,423 --> 01:03:56,658 Could we maybe meet tomorrow before I go back to school? 1297 01:03:58,794 --> 01:04:00,329 You didn't 1298 01:04:01,163 --> 01:04:02,531 want me to come to the funeral? 1299 01:04:02,864 --> 01:04:04,266 No, no, I do. 1300 01:04:04,700 --> 01:04:06,535 I do want you to come. I just... 1301 01:04:07,603 --> 01:04:09,171 It's kind of... 1302 01:04:10,071 --> 01:04:11,940 It's Grandpa, and I'm just afraid 1303 01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:13,509 you'll be too much of a distraction. 1304 01:04:14,109 --> 01:04:15,777 I get it. Okay. 1305 01:04:16,512 --> 01:04:18,512 That came out wrong. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no. 1306 01:04:18,847 --> 01:04:19,847 That came out perfect. 1307 01:04:22,284 --> 01:04:23,924 I don't know what you want from me, Katie. 1308 01:04:28,156 --> 01:04:29,458 I'm gonna go. 1309 01:04:33,595 --> 01:04:34,663 Katie. 1310 01:04:35,997 --> 01:04:37,098 Katie. 1311 01:04:37,199 --> 01:04:38,500 What? 1312 01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:39,801 Katie. 1313 01:04:39,901 --> 01:04:41,503 What? 1314 01:04:43,339 --> 01:04:44,673 Do you see my cell phone? 1315 01:04:44,773 --> 01:04:45,807 No! 1316 01:04:50,946 --> 01:04:52,156 I knew you'd kill yourself if you missed your husband's funeral. 1317 01:04:54,850 --> 01:04:56,585 Of course they're all gonna be there. 1318 01:04:57,052 --> 01:04:59,321 Okay, you're ready. 1319 01:04:59,988 --> 01:05:00,988 Mmm! 1320 01:05:03,091 --> 01:05:04,626 Okay, here we go. 1321 01:05:05,461 --> 01:05:06,762 Yeah, I am hurrying. 1322 01:05:07,496 --> 01:05:08,530 Nurse. 1323 01:05:08,630 --> 01:05:12,834 Uh, I just have to get her down to X-ray, stat. 1324 01:05:14,603 --> 01:05:16,238 I didn't order any X-rays. 1325 01:05:16,705 --> 01:05:17,806 There. 1326 01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:20,175 And now... 1327 01:05:22,744 --> 01:05:23,845 Ta-da! 1328 01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:25,714 And for you, 1329 01:05:27,182 --> 01:05:28,550 a hat 1330 01:05:29,651 --> 01:05:30,752 and... 1331 01:05:34,323 --> 01:05:35,991 It's a look. Okay. 1332 01:05:37,058 --> 01:05:38,394 Let's run some lights. 1333 01:05:43,332 --> 01:05:44,500 Touch him. 1334 01:05:44,900 --> 01:05:45,967 You. 1335 01:05:46,268 --> 01:05:48,136 Looks like he's gonna say something. 1336 01:05:48,404 --> 01:05:50,772 "Could somebody please scratch my nose?" 1337 01:05:55,511 --> 01:05:56,778 We're gonna need more gas. 1338 01:05:58,914 --> 01:06:00,882 I definitely don't want to do this twice. 1339 01:06:05,220 --> 01:06:06,455 I'm just asking everyone 1340 01:06:06,555 --> 01:06:08,424 to stop at my office after this. 1341 01:06:09,124 --> 01:06:10,526 It's on the way to the lake. 1342 01:06:10,626 --> 01:06:11,760 Sure. 1343 01:06:12,127 --> 01:06:13,362 Katie, I'm just asking... 1344 01:06:13,462 --> 01:06:15,531 Did you invite any of his coworkers? 1345 01:06:16,598 --> 01:06:20,769 Well... Your grandfather was more of a family man. 1346 01:06:22,404 --> 01:06:23,705 So it's just us? 1347 01:06:23,805 --> 01:06:25,674 Well, where's your grandmother? 1348 01:06:26,207 --> 01:06:27,609 You didn't hear? 1349 01:06:28,877 --> 01:06:30,121 Grandma... What in the world happened? 1350 01:06:30,145 --> 01:06:31,780 Are you okay? 1351 01:06:34,550 --> 01:06:36,284 She said she's fine. 1352 01:06:38,554 --> 01:06:39,921 She's happy to be here. 1353 01:06:43,359 --> 01:06:45,293 I don't know. He looks different to me. 1354 01:06:48,697 --> 01:06:51,400 It's hard to picture him without a twinkle in his eye. 1355 01:06:53,469 --> 01:06:55,404 He really loved you. 1356 01:06:56,071 --> 01:06:57,071 He did. 1357 01:07:12,821 --> 01:07:14,990 Something's stuck to my tongue. 1358 01:07:23,865 --> 01:07:24,866 Nice touch. 1359 01:07:32,474 --> 01:07:33,842 Bye, Dad. 1360 01:07:47,188 --> 01:07:48,490 Why 1361 01:07:49,591 --> 01:07:51,460 do people have to die? 1362 01:08:03,071 --> 01:08:04,139 I... 1363 01:08:07,743 --> 01:08:09,010 I'm sorry. 1364 01:08:13,148 --> 01:08:15,484 My uncle died recently. 1365 01:08:16,852 --> 01:08:18,654 He was really... Really the one who... 1366 01:08:19,120 --> 01:08:20,221 Rai... 1367 01:08:20,388 --> 01:08:21,890 He raised me. 1368 01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:27,696 Jimmy. Jimmy. Uncle Jimmy. 1369 01:08:28,930 --> 01:08:30,198 Jiminy Cricket. 1370 01:08:47,415 --> 01:08:50,552 I am not in love 1371 01:08:53,822 --> 01:08:57,526 But I'm open to persuasion 1372 01:09:00,962 --> 01:09:02,498 East or west 1373 01:09:03,999 --> 01:09:05,667 Where's the best 1374 01:09:07,135 --> 01:09:09,938 For romancing? 1375 01:09:13,509 --> 01:09:15,677 With a friend 1376 01:09:16,011 --> 01:09:17,479 I can smile 1377 01:09:18,747 --> 01:09:21,717 But with a lover I can hold my head back 1378 01:09:21,817 --> 01:09:24,686 And really laugh, really laugh 1379 01:09:28,657 --> 01:09:30,526 Thank you 1380 01:09:31,459 --> 01:09:32,728 This is bullshit. 1381 01:09:32,828 --> 01:09:34,796 No. I'm sorry. Screw her. 1382 01:09:34,896 --> 01:09:35,897 Come on, Luce. 1383 01:09:35,997 --> 01:09:38,466 No, don't. She has made a business out of persecuting me, 1384 01:09:38,567 --> 01:09:40,669 and I'm supposed to sit here at my father's funeral 1385 01:09:40,769 --> 01:09:42,804 and watch her fuck-sing at Samantha? 1386 01:09:42,904 --> 01:09:43,939 Screw that. 1387 01:09:47,876 --> 01:09:49,010 Jeez, Luce! 1388 01:09:50,746 --> 01:09:52,781 What is wrong with this family? 1389 01:09:53,414 --> 01:09:54,650 Wow. 1390 01:09:55,083 --> 01:09:57,485 I hadn't heard Alice sing since you were a baby. 1391 01:10:00,088 --> 01:10:02,057 She had a little trouble with the high notes. 1392 01:10:02,924 --> 01:10:05,126 Is it too much to ask that we bury my grandfather 1393 01:10:05,226 --> 01:10:07,195 with a little honor and dignity? 1394 01:10:08,530 --> 01:10:10,566 I think it is, sweetie, yeah. 1395 01:10:12,768 --> 01:10:14,936 You all know how I felt about Ed. 1396 01:10:16,437 --> 01:10:18,607 He was somebody I considered to be 1397 01:10:18,707 --> 01:10:21,276 a very close personal friend. 1398 01:10:21,610 --> 01:10:25,046 I have here his last will and testament. 1399 01:10:27,749 --> 01:10:30,919 He leaves his house at 132 Rolling Drive 1400 01:10:31,587 --> 01:10:33,889 to his beloved wife, Charlotte. 1401 01:10:34,923 --> 01:10:38,994 He leaves $1,000 cash to Kate for expenses. 1402 01:10:39,795 --> 01:10:41,697 He also left a videotape 1403 01:10:42,163 --> 01:10:44,065 that he instructed me to play for you. 1404 01:10:45,166 --> 01:10:46,635 What about his money? 1405 01:10:46,735 --> 01:10:49,771 Uh, he had no other assets. I'm sorry. 1406 01:10:50,639 --> 01:10:51,907 You're sorry? 1407 01:10:52,708 --> 01:10:55,310 Hello, everybody. Surprise! 1408 01:11:00,015 --> 01:11:01,950 Before I leave, I just want to say goodbye 1409 01:11:02,050 --> 01:11:05,153 and say a few other things as well. 1410 01:11:06,622 --> 01:11:07,956 First, I'm not a salesman. 1411 01:11:08,056 --> 01:11:11,426 Hell, I couldn't sell nose plugs to a proctologist. 1412 01:11:11,526 --> 01:11:13,361 I never did a day's work in my life. 1413 01:11:13,461 --> 01:11:14,930 I never knew how to do anything, 1414 01:11:15,030 --> 01:11:17,265 except a little acting maybe. 1415 01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:21,069 That's where my Danny boy got it from. 1416 01:11:22,337 --> 01:11:26,274 There's something stuck to my tongue, too. 1417 01:11:28,243 --> 01:11:32,213 Of course, Jerry was the one with the film career. 1418 01:11:33,514 --> 01:11:35,283 What I'm trying to tell you is... 1419 01:11:37,352 --> 01:11:39,054 There were three of you. 1420 01:11:39,254 --> 01:11:40,889 He always forgets me. 1421 01:11:41,489 --> 01:11:43,324 One in Rhode Island, 1422 01:11:43,925 --> 01:11:47,963 one in Mexico, and one in South Carolina. 1423 01:11:49,998 --> 01:11:54,636 If you think raising three families is a lot of work, 1424 01:11:54,736 --> 01:11:58,206 you try doing it without letting them find out about each other. 1425 01:11:59,207 --> 01:12:00,541 Oh, that's a killer. 1426 01:12:01,009 --> 01:12:03,211 Talk about leaking money. 1427 01:12:04,179 --> 01:12:06,648 Oh, when I was 20, 1428 01:12:06,748 --> 01:12:09,718 I inherited millions, 1429 01:12:09,818 --> 01:12:13,922 and now I'm up to my prostate in debt. 1430 01:12:14,022 --> 01:12:17,258 It was a crazy life, 1431 01:12:18,794 --> 01:12:20,128 but I loved it 1432 01:12:21,329 --> 01:12:23,732 because I love my three wonderful wives 1433 01:12:23,932 --> 01:12:25,233 and my nine precious... 1434 01:12:25,333 --> 01:12:26,835 11. 1435 01:12:27,268 --> 01:12:28,269 11? 1436 01:12:31,673 --> 01:12:34,743 Eleven children? My God. 1437 01:12:34,843 --> 01:12:36,978 No wonder I couldn't get your names straight. 1438 01:12:37,612 --> 01:12:39,580 Anyway, I've had a great life. 1439 01:12:41,082 --> 01:12:42,417 A full life. 1440 01:12:43,618 --> 01:12:45,120 Three full lives. 1441 01:12:45,687 --> 01:12:47,555 You should all be so lucky. 1442 01:12:47,889 --> 01:12:50,591 Katie Collins, I'd like you to find 1443 01:12:50,692 --> 01:12:53,128 my other two families 1444 01:12:53,762 --> 01:12:58,166 and inform them of their loss. 1445 01:12:59,935 --> 01:13:04,205 Remember, I was just as big a part of their families as I was of yours. 1446 01:13:05,473 --> 01:13:08,309 If I've learned anything, it's to be true to yourself. 1447 01:13:09,110 --> 01:13:10,311 Look it. 1448 01:13:11,146 --> 01:13:12,247 He clocked them. 1449 01:13:12,814 --> 01:13:14,850 All the way from the grave. 1450 01:13:15,951 --> 01:13:18,319 All this time, I thought you were his favorite. 1451 01:13:21,356 --> 01:13:23,725 Well, I mean, you were his favorite one of us. 1452 01:13:24,259 --> 01:13:26,728 But we could have been his second-favorite family. 1453 01:13:28,964 --> 01:13:30,732 I left something in the... 1454 01:13:33,534 --> 01:13:35,403 We could have been his third. 1455 01:13:40,909 --> 01:13:42,811 Congratulations on the thousand bucks. 1456 01:13:44,279 --> 01:13:45,413 Thanks. 1457 01:13:52,988 --> 01:13:55,390 What makes you think they know what they're doing? 1458 01:13:56,424 --> 01:13:59,094 This is actually the kind of stuff they're good at. 1459 01:14:03,198 --> 01:14:05,100 Maybe we should watch from over there. 1460 01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:06,234 Yeah. 1461 01:14:25,720 --> 01:14:27,222 I never knew. 1462 01:14:28,289 --> 01:14:29,858 None of us did. 1463 01:14:30,926 --> 01:14:32,427 No. I mean, I knew your family 1464 01:14:32,527 --> 01:14:34,796 was, you know... A little... 1465 01:14:37,365 --> 01:14:39,434 But I had no idea. 1466 01:14:45,941 --> 01:14:47,608 You know, Sam, I think 1467 01:14:47,708 --> 01:14:49,210 I'll catch up with you later. 1468 01:14:49,310 --> 01:14:51,646 I'm gonna have a word with my brother there. 1469 01:14:51,746 --> 01:14:52,948 Okay. 1470 01:15:00,555 --> 01:15:02,123 Dad, a little assistance. 1471 01:15:02,657 --> 01:15:03,992 Listen, guys... 1472 01:15:06,661 --> 01:15:08,496 My pop never told me... 1473 01:15:10,431 --> 01:15:12,167 He never told me... 1474 01:15:15,403 --> 01:15:16,905 How much he... Don't. 1475 01:15:17,672 --> 01:15:18,773 What? 1476 01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:20,842 You were gonna say the "L" word. 1477 01:15:21,076 --> 01:15:22,944 I just want you to know... 1478 01:15:23,044 --> 01:15:24,946 Dad, we know how you feel. 1479 01:15:25,513 --> 01:15:27,082 Don't cheapen it with words. 1480 01:15:28,716 --> 01:15:29,985 I don't want to be like him. 1481 01:15:30,285 --> 01:15:32,153 So leave us better instructions. 1482 01:15:34,089 --> 01:15:36,091 Now, could you push? 1483 01:15:39,427 --> 01:15:40,295 I love you, guys. 1484 01:15:40,395 --> 01:15:41,296 Dad! Dad! 1485 01:15:41,396 --> 01:15:43,264 I know. It felt weird, but I did it. 1486 01:15:44,900 --> 01:15:46,167 The fuse! 1487 01:15:49,570 --> 01:15:50,570 Oh, great. 1488 01:15:51,739 --> 01:15:53,942 No worries. We came prepared. 1489 01:15:59,714 --> 01:16:01,182 Oh, great. 1490 01:16:05,320 --> 01:16:08,556 Hey, do you remember Harry Barnes? 1491 01:16:09,324 --> 01:16:10,902 Don't give me crap about that. No, no, no... 1492 01:16:10,926 --> 01:16:12,793 I'm not in the mood. I don't want to... 1493 01:16:12,894 --> 01:16:14,495 I'm not giving you crap about it. 1494 01:16:14,595 --> 01:16:15,696 You remember him, right? 1495 01:16:15,796 --> 01:16:17,565 How could I forget him? He tortured you. 1496 01:16:17,665 --> 01:16:19,543 No, I know. "Hey, here comes peanut butter boy..." 1497 01:16:19,567 --> 01:16:23,138 Or crunchy-munchy face or roasted-toasted... 1498 01:16:23,972 --> 01:16:26,174 Yeah, I know. I just... I wanted... 1499 01:16:26,341 --> 01:16:27,442 Well, what? 1500 01:16:27,842 --> 01:16:29,144 I just wanted to thank you. 1501 01:16:29,244 --> 01:16:30,946 I just want to thank you for that. 1502 01:16:31,846 --> 01:16:33,648 Thank you for looking after us, 1503 01:16:35,316 --> 01:16:36,651 protecting us. 1504 01:16:37,953 --> 01:16:39,254 Really. 1505 01:16:46,727 --> 01:16:48,229 He had a glass jaw. 1506 01:16:49,764 --> 01:16:51,232 What? He did. 1507 01:16:51,332 --> 01:16:52,433 Glass jaw. 1508 01:16:52,533 --> 01:16:53,701 He did. 1509 01:16:53,801 --> 01:16:55,103 You clobbered that kid. 1510 01:16:55,203 --> 01:16:56,204 No. 1511 01:16:56,304 --> 01:16:57,738 No, no, no. Yes. You had 1512 01:16:57,838 --> 01:17:00,108 an unbelievable right hand, Alice. 1513 01:17:00,608 --> 01:17:02,077 Alice, please. 1514 01:17:02,277 --> 01:17:03,711 You dropped that boy. 1515 01:17:04,045 --> 01:17:05,346 You did. You... 1516 01:17:07,615 --> 01:17:09,050 Ow. That... 1517 01:17:09,250 --> 01:17:10,251 Ow! 1518 01:17:13,021 --> 01:17:14,089 I hope you hurt yourself. 1519 01:17:14,189 --> 01:17:15,656 That really hurt. 1520 01:17:17,993 --> 01:17:19,594 I can't remem... 1521 01:17:19,694 --> 01:17:21,296 When was the last time 1522 01:17:21,396 --> 01:17:23,564 that the two of us just hung out like this? 1523 01:17:23,664 --> 01:17:25,333 I can't remember. 1524 01:17:30,538 --> 01:17:32,307 I feel like... Are we forgetting something? 1525 01:17:33,208 --> 01:17:34,208 No. 1526 01:17:34,875 --> 01:17:36,011 My glasses, 1527 01:17:36,411 --> 01:17:37,412 my things. 1528 01:17:37,512 --> 01:17:38,513 One joint. 1529 01:17:39,047 --> 01:17:40,281 Funeral. 1530 01:17:40,381 --> 01:17:41,381 Dad. 1531 01:17:41,449 --> 01:17:42,450 Fuck! 1532 01:17:53,261 --> 01:17:54,929 Lucy... 1533 01:17:55,030 --> 01:17:57,098 I think you owe your sister a big apology. 1534 01:17:58,366 --> 01:17:59,967 I don't have a sister. 1535 01:18:08,576 --> 01:18:10,178 Did we miss anything? 1536 01:18:10,978 --> 01:18:12,547 There's nothing left to say. 1537 01:18:14,449 --> 01:18:16,084 He ended it all. 1538 01:18:19,320 --> 01:18:21,289 Well, let me see what you got here. 1539 01:18:22,857 --> 01:18:24,625 You want a Twizzler? You sure? 1540 01:18:24,725 --> 01:18:26,061 Mmm-hmm. 1541 01:18:28,329 --> 01:18:30,631 I can remember the day that you were born. 1542 01:18:31,932 --> 01:18:34,102 I can. I remember the doctor coming in 1543 01:18:34,202 --> 01:18:35,636 and saying, "It's a girl." 1544 01:18:37,172 --> 01:18:40,141 I thought, "Finally, a baby sister." 1545 01:18:41,209 --> 01:18:43,178 I'm gonna have a friend for the rest of my life." 1546 01:18:44,579 --> 01:18:45,680 Friend? 1547 01:18:49,684 --> 01:18:51,919 You've been making me feel bad about myself 1548 01:18:52,019 --> 01:18:54,155 for the past 15 years. 1549 01:18:55,223 --> 01:18:58,526 I know. It wasn't about you. 1550 01:18:59,427 --> 01:19:02,063 Oh, I was there. It was all about me. 1551 01:19:04,399 --> 01:19:07,602 Well, maybe I thought I was helping you. 1552 01:19:08,103 --> 01:19:09,504 Maybe you didn't think. 1553 01:19:14,909 --> 01:19:16,344 All right. 1554 01:19:19,814 --> 01:19:22,483 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lucy. 1555 01:19:23,651 --> 01:19:25,186 I'm so sorry. 1556 01:19:26,854 --> 01:19:28,189 For what? 1557 01:19:29,224 --> 01:19:30,691 For not being there for you, 1558 01:19:32,227 --> 01:19:34,862 for not being on your side. 1559 01:19:34,962 --> 01:19:37,332 That's... I wasn't on your side. 1560 01:19:40,034 --> 01:19:41,502 Yeah. Well... 1561 01:19:51,579 --> 01:19:52,713 Dad? 1562 01:19:52,813 --> 01:19:54,282 You ready, sweetie? 1563 01:19:54,382 --> 01:19:55,383 No. 1564 01:19:56,617 --> 01:19:58,486 There's a lot of good stuff here. 1565 01:19:59,420 --> 01:20:02,089 You know, just maybe skip the part 1566 01:20:02,190 --> 01:20:04,192 about him being a salesman, you know. 1567 01:20:05,560 --> 01:20:06,560 You ready? 1568 01:20:06,594 --> 01:20:07,762 No. 1569 01:20:07,862 --> 01:20:10,798 Uh, everybody. Can we gather? 1570 01:20:11,399 --> 01:20:14,135 Katie's going to honor what's left of our father 1571 01:20:14,235 --> 01:20:15,870 with a eulogy. 1572 01:20:16,237 --> 01:20:17,805 Dad, lighter. 1573 01:20:18,406 --> 01:20:20,675 Be careful, guys. I love this lighter. 1574 01:20:23,544 --> 01:20:25,613 We don't have a bagpipe player. 1575 01:20:25,713 --> 01:20:26,814 We know the words. 1576 01:20:40,595 --> 01:20:43,097 How many laws you suppose we're breaking here? 1577 01:20:43,198 --> 01:20:45,233 Yeah, I should be preparing a defense. 1578 01:20:50,205 --> 01:20:52,473 Um... We have gathered here today 1579 01:20:52,873 --> 01:20:58,746 to honor my, uh, grandfather, Edmund Collins. 1580 01:20:58,913 --> 01:21:00,248 Shut it. 1581 01:21:03,484 --> 01:21:06,354 Edmund was more than just a great father. 1582 01:21:07,388 --> 01:21:09,990 He was a great... Guy. 1583 01:21:10,291 --> 01:21:12,059 Use your aim, guys. 1584 01:21:12,527 --> 01:21:15,029 Grandpa had the playful habit 1585 01:21:15,129 --> 01:21:17,798 of showering us with unusual nicknames. 1586 01:21:19,400 --> 01:21:22,537 Grandpa protected us while he was off... 1587 01:21:25,606 --> 01:21:29,444 And even though he wasn't always around, 1588 01:21:30,144 --> 01:21:31,879 let's face it, more than anything, 1589 01:21:31,979 --> 01:21:34,215 my grandfather was a family man. 1590 01:21:36,884 --> 01:21:38,085 Sorry. 1591 01:21:42,457 --> 01:21:44,359 Move me over there. 1592 01:21:46,461 --> 01:21:48,529 Ha, ha, ha. What's so funny? 1593 01:21:49,163 --> 01:21:50,698 Your father's dead. 1594 01:21:52,267 --> 01:21:54,269 Maybe he wasn't the man we all thought he was, 1595 01:21:54,369 --> 01:21:56,404 but he's the reason we're all here. 1596 01:21:56,504 --> 01:21:59,307 So... Go ahead and laugh. 1597 01:22:01,809 --> 01:22:03,244 He made me laugh. 1598 01:22:04,645 --> 01:22:05,980 Just remember, 1599 01:22:06,080 --> 01:22:07,582 this is the last chance you have 1600 01:22:07,682 --> 01:22:09,384 to say goodbye to your father. 1601 01:22:10,184 --> 01:22:11,719 Katie, I gave you a job to do. 1602 01:22:12,653 --> 01:22:14,054 Get over here. 1603 01:22:14,154 --> 01:22:15,690 And just speak from your heart. 1604 01:22:19,059 --> 01:22:20,728 All right, Katie. 1605 01:22:42,650 --> 01:22:44,552 "Did you really leave me again?" 1606 01:22:46,454 --> 01:22:49,023 "After all the seasons I spent waiting, 1607 01:22:50,190 --> 01:22:52,259 "watching out the window, 1608 01:22:53,093 --> 01:22:54,962 "listening at the door, 1609 01:22:55,630 --> 01:22:57,898 "waiting for the news of your return, 1610 01:22:58,633 --> 01:23:00,468 "for the news that you realized" 1611 01:23:00,568 --> 01:23:02,870 "that someone important was waiting for you?" 1612 01:23:05,373 --> 01:23:07,542 "A whole lifetime I've been waiting. 1613 01:23:08,976 --> 01:23:11,479 "I can't believe you're not coming back." 1614 01:23:12,780 --> 01:23:15,750 "I can't believe I'm supposed to stop waiting." 1615 01:23:17,352 --> 01:23:19,320 "I can't believe you left me again." 1616 01:23:29,797 --> 01:23:32,400 Grandpa didn't leave because of you. 1617 01:23:32,767 --> 01:23:35,736 It was because of you that he kept coming back. 1618 01:23:37,204 --> 01:23:38,906 I hope you all realize that. 1619 01:23:48,015 --> 01:23:49,584 Nice. 1620 01:24:01,362 --> 01:24:04,331 Papa was a rolling stone 1621 01:24:05,700 --> 01:24:09,437 Wherever he laid his hat was his home 1622 01:24:10,037 --> 01:24:11,639 And when he died 1623 01:24:12,172 --> 01:24:13,708 All he left... 1624 01:24:39,934 --> 01:24:43,738 So, after it stopped raining Grandpa, 1625 01:24:44,939 --> 01:24:46,707 I caught a ride here. 1626 01:24:48,242 --> 01:24:50,711 I'm so honored and touched. 1627 01:24:50,811 --> 01:24:52,813 Thank you for sharing that with me. 1628 01:24:53,080 --> 01:24:54,415 I'm sorry. 1629 01:24:54,515 --> 01:24:56,216 I had no idea. 1630 01:24:56,751 --> 01:24:59,319 No wonder Edmund was gone so often. 1631 01:24:59,620 --> 01:25:01,789 It's hard to believe. It really is. 1632 01:25:05,259 --> 01:25:07,027 Poor Barbara. 1633 01:25:09,329 --> 01:25:10,698 What do you mean? 1634 01:25:10,798 --> 01:25:12,533 I don't know what to say. 1635 01:25:14,001 --> 01:25:15,369 You're not Barbara? 1636 01:25:15,470 --> 01:25:19,206 Edmund was the best neighbor I ever had. 1637 01:25:38,025 --> 01:25:39,527 How'd it go? 1638 01:25:39,860 --> 01:25:40,895 Oh... 1639 01:25:43,030 --> 01:25:44,799 Pretty well, I guess. 1640 01:25:47,334 --> 01:25:50,838 I was starting to think maybe you ducked out the back on me or something. 1641 01:26:17,498 --> 01:26:19,233 Wait. Stop the car for a second. 1642 01:26:32,212 --> 01:26:33,981 I'll explain on the way. 1643 01:27:12,186 --> 01:27:17,091 "This tape will explain what this note cannot." 1644 01:27:27,968 --> 01:27:29,904 "Vag... In... 1645 01:27:30,370 --> 01:27:32,206 A... Town." 1646 01:27:32,973 --> 01:27:34,308 What's a vag? 1647 01:28:24,825 --> 01:28:28,629 So, I think that brings us to the toasts, 1648 01:28:29,163 --> 01:28:31,098 and I think we should toast my sister 1649 01:28:31,632 --> 01:28:33,668 and my new sister-in-law. 1650 01:28:34,034 --> 01:28:37,838 So I think the lovely and articulate Simon 1651 01:28:37,938 --> 01:28:39,974 will do the honors, right? 1652 01:28:40,074 --> 01:28:41,642 Big Skip. 1653 01:28:41,742 --> 01:28:43,477 Big Skip. Well, come and prove 1654 01:28:48,348 --> 01:28:50,384 Thank you. Thank you. 1655 01:28:50,484 --> 01:28:52,419 Well, here they are. 1656 01:28:53,153 --> 01:28:54,689 We're here for these two lovely ladies 1657 01:28:54,789 --> 01:28:57,124 on this momentous occasion. 1658 01:28:58,425 --> 01:29:01,028 And we're all happy for them. 1659 01:29:01,561 --> 01:29:04,999 Oh. Oh, I have a perfect joke for tonight. Yes, I do. 1660 01:29:05,099 --> 01:29:06,734 It's not dirty. It's not a dirty joke! 1661 01:29:06,834 --> 01:29:09,003 It's not a dirty joke. Just let people have... 1662 01:29:10,537 --> 01:29:12,206 It's a simple joke. 1663 01:29:12,306 --> 01:29:15,109 These two gym teachers walk into a hardware store... 1664 01:29:15,209 --> 01:29:16,476 That's it. All right. 111062

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