Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:41,527 --> 00:01:44,630
Hey. You don't know me.
2
00:01:45,565 --> 00:01:47,767
I don't know you.
3
00:01:49,669 --> 00:01:51,103
Twice in my life,
4
00:01:51,203 --> 00:01:54,574
I've had to deliver bad news
to someone I'd never met.
5
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:56,141
Hey...
6
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,777
The first time involved a cat
7
00:01:57,877 --> 00:01:59,912
that ran out in the middle
of my driver's test.
8
00:02:02,482 --> 00:02:05,284
This time was a bit trickier.
9
00:02:05,384 --> 00:02:06,652
Hey...
10
00:02:14,527 --> 00:02:15,537
Are you waiting for
me to say something?
11
00:02:15,561 --> 00:02:16,829
No. Okay.
12
00:02:19,865 --> 00:02:21,133
I don't know where to start.
13
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:24,604
Well, why don't you start
from the beginning?
14
00:02:25,638 --> 00:02:27,339
Okay. Okay. Um...
15
00:02:31,076 --> 00:02:32,444
Hello.
16
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,815
What?
17
00:02:36,882 --> 00:02:38,050
Grandma.
18
00:02:38,918 --> 00:02:40,452
Turn that down!
19
00:02:41,587 --> 00:02:43,222
Grandma, what's the matter?
20
00:02:43,322 --> 00:02:46,291
All of my life,
my grandfather told me,
21
00:02:46,859 --> 00:02:48,928
never pick up the phone
on the first ring. What?
22
00:02:49,762 --> 00:02:50,963
And now he was dead.
23
00:02:51,063 --> 00:02:52,331
What? What happened?
24
00:02:53,032 --> 00:02:55,100
I was the first one
my grandmother called.
25
00:02:55,868 --> 00:02:57,570
I waited until
I could see straight
26
00:02:57,670 --> 00:02:59,471
before I broke the news
to my dad.
27
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,610
You may remember him as the
Spiffy Peanut Butter kid.
28
00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:07,212
My dad's the one
with the spoon in his mouth.
29
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,614
What is it, son?
30
00:03:09,081 --> 00:03:11,150
Something is stuck to my tongue.
31
00:03:13,418 --> 00:03:16,756
Must be weird to have
your career peak at 8.
32
00:03:17,389 --> 00:03:19,892
Now, he works mostly
in obscure foreign films.
33
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:22,270
removing her clothes,
he's massaging her breasts.
34
00:03:22,294 --> 00:03:23,462
Let me see that in your eyes.
35
00:03:23,863 --> 00:03:25,541
Maybe you're gonna get caught
36
00:03:25,565 --> 00:03:26,808
They're not supposed
to be doing that.
37
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,634
Could
we just cut, please?
38
00:03:28,734 --> 00:03:30,369
Don't answer that. Hello.
39
00:03:30,469 --> 00:03:31,470
Look sexy.
40
00:03:31,571 --> 00:03:33,138
Oh, hey, sweetie.
41
00:03:33,238 --> 00:03:35,074
Smoky eyes...
42
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,208
What?
43
00:03:36,709 --> 00:03:38,410
That's it. Touch yourself.
44
00:03:38,778 --> 00:03:40,846
Keep goin'. That's good.
45
00:03:41,113 --> 00:03:42,915
That's it. No, I'll call them.
I'll call them.
46
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:44,717
Dearest Judge...
47
00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:45,951
Excuse me?
48
00:03:46,385 --> 00:03:47,653
My client...
49
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,956
Name?
Oh, it's, uh... Lace.
50
00:03:51,323 --> 00:03:52,958
Miss Lace
51
00:03:53,659 --> 00:03:56,596
was engaged in a
consensual servicing
52
00:03:56,696 --> 00:03:58,764
of an entrapable member.
53
00:04:00,399 --> 00:04:01,734
Are you an attorney?
54
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:17,316
Talk to me.
55
00:04:17,650 --> 00:04:18,784
Counselor.
56
00:04:19,151 --> 00:04:20,185
What?
57
00:04:21,353 --> 00:04:22,353
Whoa.
58
00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:26,258
Okay, now put the eggs down
59
00:04:26,358 --> 00:04:28,794
without breaking them
and without using your hands.
60
00:04:32,798 --> 00:04:34,934
Come on, guys, we're...
61
00:04:35,034 --> 00:04:36,034
What's he doing?
62
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,136
Watch.
63
00:04:37,937 --> 00:04:39,905
We don't have time for
this, guys, all right?
64
00:04:41,874 --> 00:04:43,676
Ugh, no good can come of this.
65
00:04:45,811 --> 00:04:47,212
Nice. Can we go now?
66
00:04:47,312 --> 00:04:48,614
Do a shoulder stand.
67
00:04:49,148 --> 00:04:50,816
Guys, come on. We've
got this funeral.
68
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,652
Grandpa's not going anywhere.
69
00:04:53,152 --> 00:04:54,153
Get in the car.
70
00:04:54,887 --> 00:04:57,389
Get the bowl onto the
table without spilling.
71
00:04:57,489 --> 00:04:59,725
Ugh...
72
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:01,393
This is why your mother left us.
73
00:05:01,627 --> 00:05:02,662
She was a hack.
74
00:05:02,762 --> 00:05:04,697
I've seen better moms on TV.
75
00:05:05,164 --> 00:05:06,231
I know.
76
00:05:06,632 --> 00:05:08,267
I don't even know
why we're going.
77
00:05:08,367 --> 00:05:09,802
I mean, he was your dad.
78
00:05:09,902 --> 00:05:11,036
Maybe he left you something.
79
00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:12,471
He probably
left it all to wifey.
80
00:05:12,571 --> 00:05:13,839
Nana.
81
00:05:15,074 --> 00:05:16,341
I know.
82
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:17,843
He picked the perfect time
83
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,279
for this one, didn't he? Huh?
84
00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:22,614
Huh, Burt?
85
00:05:23,315 --> 00:05:25,350
You know, it's two weeks
before his birthday.
86
00:05:26,018 --> 00:05:27,753
The one day that was
more important to him
87
00:05:27,853 --> 00:05:29,221
than his goddamn job,
88
00:05:29,321 --> 00:05:32,792
and now he's managed
to fuck this up, too.
89
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,158
Sorry.
90
00:05:36,361 --> 00:05:37,730
Nice work, Pop.
91
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:39,799
Is everybody coming?
92
00:05:42,034 --> 00:05:44,837
Yeah. The asylum will be full.
93
00:05:45,204 --> 00:05:47,572
I can't believe Grandpa's
not gonna be there.
94
00:05:47,873 --> 00:05:49,141
I know, sweetie.
95
00:05:52,878 --> 00:05:54,038
You're doing the right thing.
96
00:05:54,079 --> 00:05:56,315
You're fully
experiencing the loss.
97
00:05:57,249 --> 00:06:00,219
And when you're ready,
take a deep breath in...
98
00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:02,654
like that.
99
00:06:02,755 --> 00:06:04,032
Try to really
maximize the feeling.
100
00:06:04,056 --> 00:06:05,524
Feel it really intensely.
101
00:06:06,058 --> 00:06:07,326
And then as you exhale...
102
00:06:09,361 --> 00:06:11,764
just try to let those
feelings go, okay?
103
00:06:12,732 --> 00:06:14,133
He just died.
104
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,268
Yeah.
105
00:06:16,368 --> 00:06:17,469
I know.
106
00:06:17,569 --> 00:06:18,714
But, believe me, it's the way
107
00:06:18,738 --> 00:06:20,706
your grandfather
would have wanted it.
108
00:06:21,273 --> 00:06:22,374
To be dead?
109
00:06:26,979 --> 00:06:27,980
Ugh.
110
00:06:57,409 --> 00:07:00,412
Oh, where can she be?
111
00:07:02,915 --> 00:07:05,384
Where's my little tubby turtle?
112
00:07:05,484 --> 00:07:07,853
I'm not a turtle. I'm Katie.
113
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,355
Well,
I'm looking for someone
114
00:07:10,455 --> 00:07:11,455
to help me eat...
115
00:07:11,523 --> 00:07:12,758
I will, Pom-Pom.
116
00:07:12,858 --> 00:07:14,226
A hot-fudge sundae.
117
00:07:17,296 --> 00:07:18,363
You okay?
118
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,366
Come on. Let's go find
your grandmother.
119
00:07:28,173 --> 00:07:30,042
I don't see why
you'd wanna wait.
120
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,117
They have a right to know.
121
00:07:33,212 --> 00:07:35,314
No, it's my decision now.
122
00:07:36,115 --> 00:07:38,283
Fair enough.
Hello? Mom?
123
00:07:38,383 --> 00:07:40,419
You have an appointment
with the parson tomorrow.
124
00:07:41,353 --> 00:07:42,554
I don't think so.
125
00:07:43,022 --> 00:07:44,523
There she is.
126
00:07:45,557 --> 00:07:46,591
Danny boy.
127
00:07:46,691 --> 00:07:48,293
Hey, Lance. Good
to see you, son.
128
00:07:48,393 --> 00:07:49,895
Grandma.
129
00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:51,263
Oh, baby.
130
00:07:52,064 --> 00:07:53,833
Oh... You know what?
131
00:07:53,933 --> 00:07:56,468
He loved you and your daddy
132
00:07:56,568 --> 00:07:58,670
more than anybody else
in the family.
133
00:07:58,904 --> 00:08:01,106
I know that's
not true, but thanks.
134
00:08:01,206 --> 00:08:02,206
No, really!
135
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:03,634
He couldn't even
remember the names
136
00:08:03,675 --> 00:08:05,210
of his other two children.
137
00:08:05,544 --> 00:08:06,578
Three children.
138
00:08:06,879 --> 00:08:09,148
Oh. Always thinking of others.
139
00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:12,852
Hey, Mom.
140
00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:16,693
Burt, do I have to grab everything?
Well, I have to go.
141
00:08:17,389 --> 00:08:18,858
Are you sure you're okay?
142
00:08:19,158 --> 00:08:20,960
I feel as if I finally
have a chance
143
00:08:21,060 --> 00:08:22,461
to do something with my life.
144
00:08:23,362 --> 00:08:24,363
Good.
145
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:28,033
Ahhh! Sorry. Alice.
Glad to see you.
146
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,903
Lance. Katie, Katie, Katie.
147
00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:33,238
Oh, Alice. What are we gonna do?
148
00:08:34,739 --> 00:08:36,608
I think I'll just
take my old room,
149
00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:38,277
and then... Danny.
150
00:08:38,377 --> 00:08:39,478
Hey, Alice. Hi.
151
00:08:39,578 --> 00:08:42,181
Oh, I was just waiting
to see you on television, huh?
152
00:08:42,281 --> 00:08:43,881
Well, you may not
have to wait very long.
153
00:08:43,916 --> 00:08:44,916
I actually...
154
00:08:44,984 --> 00:08:46,785
Right. I'm just... Mother...
155
00:08:46,886 --> 00:08:48,326
God! I'm trying
to get to the sorrow.
156
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:52,024
I really am, but I
still feel so angry.
157
00:08:52,391 --> 00:08:54,759
I mean, I want to just
grab him and shake him
158
00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:56,929
and say, "How dare you?"
159
00:08:57,029 --> 00:08:59,398
"How dare you
go out that back door"
160
00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:01,533
"with your little suitcase?"
161
00:09:01,633 --> 00:09:05,070
"I mean, where in God's name
are you going this time?"
162
00:09:07,940 --> 00:09:12,444
I'm okay, though.
I'm okay. I'm sorry.
163
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:15,948
Oh! I've never heard
you say that word.
164
00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:21,553
Well, we don't have to make a
talk show out of it, do we?
165
00:09:22,821 --> 00:09:23,956
Burt!
166
00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:26,691
Don't tarry. Don't tarry.
167
00:09:26,791 --> 00:09:28,994
Hi, Burt. Hi, kids.
168
00:09:29,094 --> 00:09:31,796
Hey, Burt. Look, we've had
a very difficult trip.
169
00:09:31,897 --> 00:09:33,665
So, we should
probably just consider
170
00:09:33,765 --> 00:09:35,100
what everybody wants to eat,
171
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,402
and that way, we can
just make one dish
172
00:09:37,502 --> 00:09:39,371
that suits the group...
173
00:09:39,471 --> 00:09:41,006
Alice and her husband Burt
174
00:09:41,106 --> 00:09:43,875
had managed to produce
three silent children.
175
00:09:43,976 --> 00:09:46,345
My tribe only eats bread
and American cheese
176
00:09:46,445 --> 00:09:49,181
in various forms, so, I mean...
177
00:09:49,281 --> 00:09:52,184
I could make this dish I
think everybody might enjoy.
178
00:09:52,284 --> 00:09:54,053
This little casserole
that I like to make.
179
00:09:54,153 --> 00:09:56,188
I'm sort of famous around
my house for making it.
180
00:09:56,521 --> 00:09:58,991
Have you said hello
to your grandmother?
181
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,961
Let me take a look at you three.
182
00:10:02,928 --> 00:10:04,696
Stop looking like
she's gonna bite you.
183
00:10:04,796 --> 00:10:06,165
She's not gonna bite you.
184
00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:09,668
Stop it. Stop feigning
those fake little twitches
185
00:10:09,768 --> 00:10:10,912
that you're doing.
We've talked...
186
00:10:10,936 --> 00:10:12,304
My grandmother always said
187
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,439
she wished Alice
came with a mute button.
188
00:10:14,539 --> 00:10:16,551
If you think it's any better
at any of your friends' houses,
189
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,253
if you think it's any
better at their house,
190
00:10:18,277 --> 00:10:20,612
you can just pack your bags
and move in with them.
191
00:10:21,846 --> 00:10:24,383
Ah, that's better.
192
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:30,222
All right, treat everybody
with respect, okay?
193
00:10:30,322 --> 00:10:32,824
Let's try not to be the
biggest freaks in the circus.
194
00:10:33,225 --> 00:10:34,745
What the hell is that
supposed to mean?
195
00:10:34,793 --> 00:10:36,595
He wants us to say,
"No, thank you,"
196
00:10:36,695 --> 00:10:38,263
instead of, "Eat my ass Jell-o."
197
00:10:38,363 --> 00:10:39,999
Hey, stop it. All right?
198
00:10:40,099 --> 00:10:41,176
Stop it, for Christ's sakes.
199
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,701
Where do you guys
learn that shit?
200
00:10:44,703 --> 00:10:47,406
Mom... Sorry about Dad.
201
00:10:47,506 --> 00:10:48,640
Yeah... Mmm...
202
00:10:50,209 --> 00:10:51,543
You remember the boys?
203
00:10:52,844 --> 00:10:54,113
How could I forget them?
204
00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:55,614
Hey, G.
205
00:10:55,714 --> 00:10:56,948
So, what did he leave us?
206
00:10:57,049 --> 00:10:58,850
Your grandfather's will
won't be read
207
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,552
until after the funeral.
208
00:11:00,986 --> 00:11:02,454
Talk about being early.
209
00:11:04,089 --> 00:11:05,590
Seriously, man.
210
00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:09,294
God, dude. You always hit me first.
He pushed me.
211
00:11:10,862 --> 00:11:12,797
Hey, Skipper. Hey.
212
00:11:12,897 --> 00:11:16,001
Oh, why do terrible
things always come in threes?
213
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,570
I see Alice is already
rifling through the drawers.
214
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,339
No, I'm looking for ingredients.
215
00:11:20,439 --> 00:11:22,374
I'm going to make us
all dinner tonight.
216
00:11:22,941 --> 00:11:24,909
Hmm. Hey, Uncle Skip.
217
00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:26,511
Hey. Hi.
218
00:11:27,579 --> 00:11:29,748
Hey, boys. Hi, Katie.
219
00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:33,985
Uncle Skip and the twins
220
00:11:34,086 --> 00:11:36,255
were a little heavy
with hormones,
221
00:11:37,156 --> 00:11:39,291
but they were at those ages.
222
00:11:39,891 --> 00:11:41,193
I used to have
an Aunt Lily, too,
223
00:11:41,293 --> 00:11:43,262
but they scared her away.
224
00:11:43,962 --> 00:11:45,073
Family legend says that it was
225
00:11:45,097 --> 00:11:47,632
the night before
their eleventh birthday.
226
00:11:47,732 --> 00:11:49,034
What the hell is that?
227
00:11:50,702 --> 00:11:52,837
It's your birthday cake.
228
00:11:52,937 --> 00:11:54,639
I was hoping it would
be a surprise.
229
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,176
I'm more than surprised.
I'm shocked!
230
00:11:57,276 --> 00:11:58,610
This isn't what we ordered.
231
00:11:59,078 --> 00:12:00,412
You don't order your mother.
232
00:12:01,046 --> 00:12:02,881
I spent two days making...
233
00:12:02,981 --> 00:12:04,583
We ordered an erotic cheesecake.
234
00:12:05,417 --> 00:12:06,218
Excuse me?
235
00:12:06,318 --> 00:12:07,486
You're excused.
236
00:12:08,153 --> 00:12:09,388
We'll fix it.
237
00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:13,625
Oh, no.
238
00:12:18,463 --> 00:12:20,165
Oh... What?
239
00:12:21,666 --> 00:12:22,734
What?
240
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,440
They ruined it.
241
00:12:29,774 --> 00:12:31,810
They ruined it.
242
00:12:32,944 --> 00:12:34,646
Well, it's their
birthday, right?
243
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,516
Where did they
even hear the term,
244
00:12:37,616 --> 00:12:39,251
"erotic cheesecake"?
245
00:12:39,784 --> 00:12:41,696
Hey, somebody's gotta teach
them these things, right?
246
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,822
What "things"?
247
00:12:44,923 --> 00:12:47,192
That, that you can
make a cheesecake
248
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,828
look like disembodied breasts?
249
00:12:51,996 --> 00:12:53,165
Or an ass.
250
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:08,447
Katie, sweetheart, I want you
251
00:13:08,547 --> 00:13:10,315
to eulogize your grandfather.
252
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,253
Oh, Grandma, I don't think
I can make a speech.
253
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,240
I wouldn't know what to say.
254
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:19,758
If it were me, I would want you
255
00:13:19,858 --> 00:13:22,761
to say something that made some
256
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,764
sense out of my life.
257
00:13:25,864 --> 00:13:28,633
Something that honored me.
258
00:13:29,968 --> 00:13:31,270
Hey, what about Dad?
259
00:13:31,370 --> 00:13:33,205
Or, um, Skip or Lucy?
260
00:13:33,305 --> 00:13:35,073
Your grandfather wanted you.
261
00:13:35,507 --> 00:13:36,507
And you boys are going to
262
00:13:36,575 --> 00:13:38,243
have to help with the burial.
263
00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:40,512
Your father left very
264
00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,481
specific instructions.
265
00:13:42,814 --> 00:13:44,183
Okay.
266
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,251
Hi, everybody.
267
00:13:46,585 --> 00:13:47,719
Hey, ladies.
268
00:13:48,253 --> 00:13:50,054
You remember Skip? Yeah.
269
00:13:50,155 --> 00:13:51,656
And these are his two boys,
270
00:13:51,823 --> 00:13:52,857
Tim and Jim?
271
00:13:53,258 --> 00:13:54,258
Yeah, close enough.
272
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:55,794
Hi, guys. I'm, uh...
273
00:13:55,894 --> 00:13:57,662
Lucy's life partner, Judy.
274
00:14:00,031 --> 00:14:01,266
Lesbians.
275
00:14:03,402 --> 00:14:05,504
I really can't believe
you brought her.
276
00:14:06,238 --> 00:14:07,572
Hello, Alice.
277
00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:10,242
No, it's just I thought
you'd come alone. It's family.
278
00:14:10,575 --> 00:14:11,876
Are you starting already?
279
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:14,313
Oh, no, no, no. It just,
it didn't occur to me
280
00:14:14,413 --> 00:14:16,981
to bring my sex toys.
Did you bring any sex toys?
281
00:14:17,249 --> 00:14:18,550
You wouldn't know a sex toy
282
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,285
if it left a battery
in your vagina.
283
00:14:20,552 --> 00:14:22,521
Oh! My vagina, as you were
284
00:14:22,621 --> 00:14:25,089
so whimsically
about to refer to it,
285
00:14:25,190 --> 00:14:27,492
has served as sacred passage
286
00:14:27,592 --> 00:14:30,362
for three anatomically
correct children.
287
00:14:30,462 --> 00:14:31,563
So...
288
00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:33,832
Bad image. Erase, erase.
289
00:14:34,266 --> 00:14:35,534
So, who needs a drink?
290
00:14:36,968 --> 00:14:37,968
Let's drink.
291
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,041
My family still observes
292
00:14:43,141 --> 00:14:45,277
the cocktail hour
with a vengeance.
293
00:15:03,094 --> 00:15:05,430
This isn't about you, so...
294
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,300
Are you talking to the sex toy?
295
00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:13,538
I'm sure you're
a very nice... Lesbian.
296
00:15:13,638 --> 00:15:15,106
Is that the preferred term?
297
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:17,576
No! No, we prefer "whore."
298
00:15:18,677 --> 00:15:20,479
I think all women do these days.
299
00:15:22,013 --> 00:15:23,013
Well...
300
00:15:24,483 --> 00:15:26,451
I guess I owe you an apology.
301
00:15:31,356 --> 00:15:32,824
Are you working up to it?
302
00:15:38,663 --> 00:15:39,698
So...
303
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,534
What do you girls do?
304
00:15:45,837 --> 00:15:47,606
What do you mean,
"What do we do"?
305
00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:51,410
For fun?
306
00:15:53,512 --> 00:15:54,979
Eat out, go to the movies.
307
00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:57,349
Oh, normal stuff.
308
00:15:57,449 --> 00:15:59,351
Drinks. I...
309
00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:00,819
Ladies.
310
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:01,919
Thank you.
311
00:16:02,687 --> 00:16:03,687
Thank you.
312
00:16:04,523 --> 00:16:05,924
What did you think we did?
313
00:16:06,558 --> 00:16:08,059
No, I, I didn't have a...
314
00:16:08,827 --> 00:16:10,067
I wasn't thinking of something,
315
00:16:10,161 --> 00:16:11,630
and I just...
316
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,101
I don't know what you do.
317
00:16:17,702 --> 00:16:18,942
Do you think we spend all night
318
00:16:19,037 --> 00:16:20,539
triple-tonguing our G-spots?
319
00:16:27,346 --> 00:16:29,047
It's my father's funeral,
320
00:16:29,147 --> 00:16:30,682
so if you could muster up
321
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:33,284
just a little bit of
respect, that would be...
322
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,489
Don't worry. You know,
don't worry about Alice.
323
00:16:37,589 --> 00:16:40,058
You think she's gone,
she comes back,
324
00:16:40,559 --> 00:16:42,661
you know, like herpes.
325
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,330
Thanks, Skip.
Yeah.
326
00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:48,667
So, how are you and Lucy doing?
327
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,470
Well, I mean...
328
00:16:51,903 --> 00:16:52,971
This is just awful.
329
00:16:53,705 --> 00:16:55,740
I know. I hate being
around my family, too.
330
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,041
Oh.
331
00:16:57,642 --> 00:17:00,011
Yeah. But, I mean, I mean...
332
00:17:00,879 --> 00:17:02,947
How are you doing... You know...
333
00:17:04,015 --> 00:17:05,015
Physically?
334
00:17:06,017 --> 00:17:07,118
Physically?
335
00:17:08,052 --> 00:17:10,154
Well, yeah. I mean, like you said...
What is it?
336
00:17:10,622 --> 00:17:12,542
Triple-tonguing. What is that?
Is that a thing...
337
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,325
What are you doing?
338
00:17:14,426 --> 00:17:15,527
Go talk to your mother.
339
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,562
You talk to her, all right?
She's a downer.
340
00:17:18,062 --> 00:17:19,130
She's a widow.
341
00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:20,532
She was a downer first.
342
00:17:21,065 --> 00:17:22,577
Just go talk to your mother.
343
00:17:22,601 --> 00:17:23,835
Excuse me. Okay.
344
00:17:25,637 --> 00:17:27,005
Do you need a punch?
345
00:17:27,105 --> 00:17:28,883
Do you want me to punch you?
You have real problems.
346
00:17:28,907 --> 00:17:30,284
You don't do that. You
don't throw a lemon at me
347
00:17:30,308 --> 00:17:31,476
in front of a lesbian.
348
00:17:32,043 --> 00:17:33,111
Nice goin'.
349
00:17:34,546 --> 00:17:36,757
Me nice going? "The
triple-tongue thing"?
Yeah, you.
350
00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:37,849
Hi.
351
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,722
My, my dad died when I was 11.
352
00:17:44,723 --> 00:17:45,724
Oh.
353
00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,026
I'm sorry.
354
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:49,894
I don't know why I said that.
355
00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:54,933
What size are you?
356
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,001
Me?
357
00:18:01,506 --> 00:18:02,641
Come upstairs.
358
00:18:04,175 --> 00:18:08,012
This is the dress I wore
on the boardwalk in 1956.
359
00:18:09,247 --> 00:18:11,650
It's... It's so elegant.
360
00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:13,952
It's yours. I wore it once.
361
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:16,354
It was a great night.
362
00:18:16,455 --> 00:18:18,089
Maybe the best night of my life.
363
00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:19,691
It's a lucky dress.
364
00:18:21,159 --> 00:18:23,127
I couldn't. Oh, please!
365
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,629
Take them all.
366
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,965
I know we haven't spent
that much time together,
367
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:30,201
but I already know I like you
better than I like Alice.
368
00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:35,173
And besides, Katie and
Lucy aren't my size.
369
00:18:37,809 --> 00:18:38,910
Thank you.
370
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,792
It's a little bit
runnier than usual.
371
00:18:53,892 --> 00:18:56,761
Think I just, I just
didn't quite move it,
372
00:18:56,861 --> 00:18:58,897
or put enough cheese in it.
373
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:01,118
This looks like
it fell out of a horse.
374
00:19:03,835 --> 00:19:06,605
Thanks, but I already had my
mucus course for the day.
375
00:19:06,705 --> 00:19:07,985
Listen, you shut your spit cave,
376
00:19:08,039 --> 00:19:09,674
you foul-mouthed
little shit-fucker
377
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,076
before I beat the
living snot out of you.
378
00:19:13,177 --> 00:19:15,179
I'm going down to Doc's
to pick up some lobster,
379
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:16,347
if anyone wants in?
380
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,849
Yes, please.
381
00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:19,393
It's a good idea.
Yeah, it's a good idea.
382
00:19:19,417 --> 00:19:22,554
Get some big ones with the big meaty claws.
Big meaty claws.
383
00:19:22,654 --> 00:19:25,490
As a side dish, it's fine.
Well...
384
00:19:28,426 --> 00:19:30,695
God, it's so good
to get out of there.
385
00:19:32,531 --> 00:19:34,833
Katie, it's good to see you.
386
00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:38,570
Oh, Luce, I'm so sorry.
387
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,272
Yeah. Well, it's okay.
388
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:42,974
Nobody else in the family
389
00:19:43,074 --> 00:19:44,275
seems to give a crap.
390
00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:46,310
Yeah, I've noticed.
391
00:19:46,410 --> 00:19:48,079
So, you coming?
392
00:19:48,446 --> 00:19:49,848
Where?
393
00:19:49,948 --> 00:19:51,082
To the wedding.
394
00:19:51,182 --> 00:19:52,182
What wedding?
395
00:19:53,051 --> 00:19:54,753
Isn't that what
you're sorry for?
396
00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,153
I'm sorry about Grandpa.
397
00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,991
Oh, Katie, nobody blames you.
398
00:20:01,092 --> 00:20:02,160
Two for dinner?
399
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:04,495
No. I called in
an order for Collins.
400
00:20:04,596 --> 00:20:05,876
Oh, let me check
on that for you.
401
00:20:06,565 --> 00:20:07,732
What wedding?
402
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,101
Judy and I are getting married.
403
00:20:10,201 --> 00:20:12,103
Really?
404
00:20:12,203 --> 00:20:13,203
Vows and everything.
405
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,038
Congratulations.
406
00:20:15,106 --> 00:20:16,407
I sent you an invitation.
407
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:17,508
No, you didn't.
408
00:20:17,609 --> 00:20:19,878
It's okay.
Everybody in the family
409
00:20:19,978 --> 00:20:21,258
is pretending
they didn't get it.
410
00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:22,513
I didn't get one.
411
00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:24,448
I, I distinctly remember weeding
412
00:20:24,549 --> 00:20:26,618
the family invites
out early. No.
413
00:20:27,652 --> 00:20:29,453
I, I went to the...
414
00:20:29,554 --> 00:20:31,189
I put them... Wait.
415
00:20:31,289 --> 00:20:32,757
I mailed them. I know...
416
00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:36,728
I am such a bonehead!
417
00:20:36,828 --> 00:20:39,964
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Oh!
418
00:20:41,666 --> 00:20:43,101
Well, here you go.
419
00:20:43,635 --> 00:20:44,812
What are you doing down there?
420
00:20:44,836 --> 00:20:46,104
It's Ryan.
421
00:20:46,638 --> 00:20:48,740
Little Ryan from the be... Ahhh!
422
00:20:50,742 --> 00:20:52,662
What are you doing?
He could hear you!
423
00:20:59,450 --> 00:21:00,551
Hi.
424
00:21:00,652 --> 00:21:03,554
Little Ryan.
My childhood friend.
425
00:21:05,857 --> 00:21:07,291
Since before I can remember,
426
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,093
we spent our summers together.
427
00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:21,606
He always acted like
he had a crush on me,
428
00:21:21,706 --> 00:21:23,842
and I always acted
like I didn't notice.
429
00:21:25,543 --> 00:21:28,780
It seemed like nothing could
ever come between us...
430
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,883
Until the last night
of last summer.
431
00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:52,837
Even the ushers who threw us
out couldn't pull us apart.
432
00:21:53,872 --> 00:21:55,539
His parents were off
camping somewhere
433
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,441
with his little brother,
434
00:21:57,541 --> 00:21:59,443
and everything was perfect.
435
00:21:59,543 --> 00:22:01,612
The flicker of the candlelight,
436
00:22:01,713 --> 00:22:04,382
the gentle dancing
of the rain on the roof,
437
00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:07,618
the familiar sound
of a car door slamming.
438
00:22:14,759 --> 00:22:16,861
Katie, Katie. Katie!
439
00:22:19,163 --> 00:22:21,666
I never meant for
anything to happen between us.
440
00:22:23,067 --> 00:22:24,736
I couldn't let
there be any witnesses.
441
00:22:24,836 --> 00:22:27,739
I can heat up some lasagna
if you boys are hungry.
442
00:22:28,239 --> 00:22:30,074
Oh, hi... Katie.
443
00:22:33,377 --> 00:22:34,645
Nice to see you again.
444
00:22:43,287 --> 00:22:45,156
Let's hear it. No, no, no.
445
00:22:45,256 --> 00:22:46,290
Come on, do it.
446
00:22:46,390 --> 00:22:48,727
No. One last time.
447
00:22:50,161 --> 00:22:51,161
Okay.
448
00:22:51,930 --> 00:22:53,297
This one's for Dad.
449
00:22:57,035 --> 00:22:58,669
Something is stuck to my tongue.
450
00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,083
Oh! There it is.
451
00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:01,172
Wow.
452
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,008
If I ever...
453
00:23:04,108 --> 00:23:05,209
Single bullet.
454
00:23:05,309 --> 00:23:06,677
To my left eye.
455
00:23:07,846 --> 00:23:09,280
This is a good time.
456
00:23:09,613 --> 00:23:10,624
How can this be a good time?
457
00:23:10,648 --> 00:23:11,750
Your dad just died.
458
00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:14,252
My family could use
a little good news.
459
00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:15,353
Trust me.
460
00:23:18,122 --> 00:23:19,523
Hey, everyone,
461
00:23:19,623 --> 00:23:21,092
I have an announcement to make.
462
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,062
We sent out some invitations...
463
00:23:24,162 --> 00:23:25,496
Or, at least, I thought we did,
464
00:23:25,596 --> 00:23:27,241
and I was actually getting
pretty angry at all of you.
465
00:23:27,265 --> 00:23:30,068
I suspected some sort of con...
Ah!
466
00:23:30,168 --> 00:23:33,337
Anyway, myself and Judy...
467
00:23:33,437 --> 00:23:34,437
"Judy and I."
468
00:23:35,439 --> 00:23:37,575
Judy and I would like to...
469
00:23:39,477 --> 00:23:40,611
What is it, Fred?
470
00:23:40,711 --> 00:23:42,080
It's Ted.
471
00:23:42,180 --> 00:23:43,714
What are you laughing at?
472
00:23:43,815 --> 00:23:45,349
I don't know.
473
00:23:45,449 --> 00:23:46,569
But I can't wait to find out
474
00:23:46,617 --> 00:23:48,486
what you two vageniuses
are up to.
475
00:23:48,820 --> 00:23:50,088
What did you just say?
476
00:23:50,188 --> 00:23:51,355
Nice vocab word.
477
00:23:52,256 --> 00:23:54,392
What did he just call us?
Vageniuses.
478
00:23:54,492 --> 00:23:56,060
It's a compound compliment.
479
00:23:56,594 --> 00:23:57,671
You see what I put up with?
480
00:23:57,695 --> 00:24:00,464
How can you tell me not to
scream my fucking head off?
481
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:01,844
You're losing it.
No!
482
00:24:01,933 --> 00:24:03,893
These are the people that
you want at our wedding?
483
00:24:05,136 --> 00:24:06,838
Oh, is one of you
getting married?
484
00:24:07,305 --> 00:24:08,306
We both are.
485
00:24:09,307 --> 00:24:10,307
To who?
486
00:24:10,341 --> 00:24:11,609
To each other.
487
00:24:14,378 --> 00:24:15,446
Awesome!
488
00:24:15,546 --> 00:24:17,215
How many friends can we bring?
489
00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:22,520
Oh, this is so rich.
490
00:24:22,887 --> 00:24:24,622
Alice... I
think it's great.
491
00:24:24,856 --> 00:24:25,857
Very great.
492
00:24:26,390 --> 00:24:28,692
Congratulations, really.
Thank you.
493
00:24:28,793 --> 00:24:31,329
So, uh, where's
the wedding happening?
494
00:24:31,429 --> 00:24:32,630
In a dream?
495
00:24:32,897 --> 00:24:35,033
No, Alice. In a town hall.
496
00:24:35,466 --> 00:24:36,500
Oh.
497
00:24:37,168 --> 00:24:40,004
Look, I just think
it's sad, all right?
498
00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:42,006
Two women pretending
to be married.
499
00:24:42,106 --> 00:24:43,842
I pretended I was married
for 12 years.
500
00:24:43,942 --> 00:24:45,185
And I think that
marriage is based
501
00:24:45,209 --> 00:24:47,178
on commitment and communication
502
00:24:47,278 --> 00:24:49,780
and not necessarily
the presence of a penis.
503
00:24:49,881 --> 00:24:51,049
Thank you.
504
00:24:51,149 --> 00:24:53,451
Excuse me. My children
are here, all right?
505
00:24:53,551 --> 00:24:54,819
Watch your language.
506
00:24:55,086 --> 00:24:56,886
What, are you worried
they're gonna repeat it?
507
00:24:58,056 --> 00:25:01,425
Burt...
508
00:25:01,792 --> 00:25:04,528
Burt, do you hear
what's going on here?
509
00:25:05,897 --> 00:25:07,999
No, no, at least
Burt and me know
510
00:25:08,099 --> 00:25:09,944
how we're supposed to fit together.
"Burt and I."
511
00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:11,235
Is that what this is all about?
512
00:25:11,335 --> 00:25:13,547
Is that what everyone in this
fucked-up family needs to know?
513
00:25:13,571 --> 00:25:14,973
How we go together?
514
00:25:15,073 --> 00:25:18,009
Well... Well, we often start by
515
00:25:18,109 --> 00:25:19,911
gently kissing...
Oh, I am not doing this.
516
00:25:20,011 --> 00:25:21,579
I said I am not doing this.
517
00:25:23,047 --> 00:25:24,415
Aw, come back!
518
00:25:24,815 --> 00:25:26,293
Aunt Lucy was really
making her point.
519
00:25:26,317 --> 00:25:29,087
So, Luce, since you're
having people perform,
520
00:25:29,187 --> 00:25:30,889
you know, fake
ceremonies and stuff,
521
00:25:30,989 --> 00:25:32,456
why don't you just have them
522
00:25:32,556 --> 00:25:34,592
announce you queen or president?
523
00:25:36,260 --> 00:25:37,128
Mmm.
524
00:25:37,228 --> 00:25:39,063
Shut it. TWINS: All right!
525
00:25:39,397 --> 00:25:40,398
Okay.
526
00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:45,669
Because, I mean, there are programs...
Shut your goddamn mouth!
527
00:25:45,769 --> 00:25:47,305
Who can just cast
a spell on you.
528
00:25:47,405 --> 00:25:50,942
Whoa, here we go! Make you less
afraid of male genitalia. Whoo!
529
00:25:51,542 --> 00:25:52,543
Shut it! Ooh, Lucy!
530
00:25:52,877 --> 00:25:54,078
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
531
00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:55,856
When did you get so much
stronger than me, huh?
532
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,382
Shut it. Oh, I forgot.
You're not.
533
00:25:58,616 --> 00:25:59,617
Ahh!
534
00:26:00,418 --> 00:26:01,953
Table! Wuss.
535
00:26:02,553 --> 00:26:03,854
Oh, no.
536
00:26:12,663 --> 00:26:13,731
Lucy...
537
00:26:13,965 --> 00:26:15,066
Guys! Guys!
538
00:26:15,166 --> 00:26:17,368
All right, that's almost enough.
539
00:26:18,502 --> 00:26:20,538
Stop it.
Are you guys kidding?
540
00:26:20,638 --> 00:26:21,973
I love this family.
541
00:26:23,141 --> 00:26:24,542
And you didn't want to come.
542
00:26:27,378 --> 00:26:31,049
One thing about being
in such a theatrical family,
543
00:26:31,149 --> 00:26:34,919
it's easy to lose track of everything
that's happening offstage.
544
00:26:36,854 --> 00:26:37,854
Grandma?
545
00:26:37,922 --> 00:26:39,757
Grandma!
546
00:26:40,091 --> 00:26:42,226
Grandma!
547
00:26:42,961 --> 00:26:43,962
Grandma, are you okay?
548
00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:45,429
I'm all right.
549
00:26:45,529 --> 00:26:46,965
Open up the door. Mom.
550
00:26:47,065 --> 00:26:48,366
Grandma.
551
00:26:48,466 --> 00:26:50,301
Clear. Clear! What?
552
00:26:50,935 --> 00:26:52,136
Ow!
553
00:26:54,205 --> 00:26:55,739
What happened?
I said I'm all right.
554
00:26:55,839 --> 00:26:57,008
What did you do?
555
00:26:57,108 --> 00:26:59,310
I just slipped, and I
spilled all this stuff.
556
00:26:59,410 --> 00:27:01,612
Somebody please
get me a glass of water.
557
00:27:04,949 --> 00:27:06,550
Get her a glass water.
558
00:27:06,650 --> 00:27:08,228
Are you, are you hurt?
Can you get up?
559
00:27:08,252 --> 00:27:09,420
How did you fall down?
560
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:11,222
She slipped.
561
00:27:12,991 --> 00:27:14,292
Thank you all so much.
562
00:27:15,226 --> 00:27:16,427
Grandma, what are you doing?
563
00:27:16,527 --> 00:27:17,595
I knew it! Mom!
564
00:27:18,963 --> 00:27:21,632
Stop it.
565
00:27:23,968 --> 00:27:26,437
Just stop it. I am
not doing anything.
566
00:27:27,038 --> 00:27:28,239
Collins.
567
00:27:29,107 --> 00:27:31,409
I'm Dr. Rice. We pumped
your mother's stomach. Hi.
568
00:27:31,709 --> 00:27:32,749
It was an accident.
569
00:27:32,810 --> 00:27:33,920
How did she accidentally chug
570
00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:35,089
half a bottle of sleeping pills?
571
00:27:35,113 --> 00:27:36,614
She was cleaning them up.
572
00:27:36,914 --> 00:27:37,915
With her mouth?
573
00:27:38,016 --> 00:27:39,259
We need to keep her
for the night,
574
00:27:39,283 --> 00:27:41,219
but she's going to be fine.
575
00:27:41,319 --> 00:27:43,954
She recently lost her
husband, and she slipped,
576
00:27:44,055 --> 00:27:45,990
Lucy? and I think she
got confused with...
577
00:27:46,090 --> 00:27:48,592
Little Lucy toothy, is that you?
578
00:27:49,093 --> 00:27:50,428
It's been so long.
579
00:27:50,528 --> 00:27:51,729
Samantha, hi.
580
00:27:53,497 --> 00:27:54,598
Alice.
581
00:27:55,399 --> 00:27:56,634
How are you?
582
00:27:57,868 --> 00:27:59,437
Great. Just great.
583
00:28:00,271 --> 00:28:01,705
When can we take her home?
584
00:28:01,805 --> 00:28:03,117
Well, like I said,
just overnight,
585
00:28:03,141 --> 00:28:04,351
and then tomorrow
we'll sign her out
586
00:28:04,375 --> 00:28:05,643
and you can take her home.
587
00:28:05,743 --> 00:28:07,011
Well, I think...
588
00:28:07,111 --> 00:28:08,471
Could you keep her
for another day,
589
00:28:08,546 --> 00:28:09,613
just to be safe?
590
00:28:10,081 --> 00:28:12,316
Oh, my God.
591
00:28:12,416 --> 00:28:13,417
Bite me.
592
00:28:26,564 --> 00:28:27,564
Skip.
593
00:28:28,766 --> 00:28:30,501
Hey, sis. Did they puke her?
594
00:28:32,903 --> 00:28:34,072
All right, I'll spread it.
595
00:28:34,605 --> 00:28:35,605
All right, bye.
596
00:28:37,175 --> 00:28:38,676
She unswallowed.
597
00:28:38,776 --> 00:28:40,778
Oh, thank God. Poor Grandma.
598
00:28:41,445 --> 00:28:42,445
Yeah.
599
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,482
She just wants to be
the star of the funeral.
600
00:28:45,015 --> 00:28:46,016
No, she doesn't.
601
00:28:46,117 --> 00:28:48,252
Hey, Elvis killed himself
602
00:28:48,352 --> 00:28:49,253
because someone
was gonna write a book
603
00:28:49,353 --> 00:28:50,654
about his underwear wrestling.
604
00:28:50,754 --> 00:28:52,523
What?
605
00:28:53,191 --> 00:28:54,558
What are you doing?
606
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,262
Grandma asked me
to speak at the funeral.
607
00:28:59,197 --> 00:29:01,565
Oh. Nobody asked me to speak.
608
00:29:02,032 --> 00:29:03,334
Do you want to? Because
609
00:29:03,434 --> 00:29:05,769
I have no idea what to say.
610
00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:07,338
Just say...
611
00:29:09,107 --> 00:29:10,841
He was away so much,
612
00:29:10,941 --> 00:29:13,043
it was weird to have him around.
613
00:29:15,813 --> 00:29:17,181
I just want to say something
614
00:29:17,281 --> 00:29:19,150
beautiful and poetic.
615
00:29:21,119 --> 00:29:22,653
Pop loved poetry.
616
00:29:23,787 --> 00:29:25,156
He did? Yeah.
617
00:29:27,491 --> 00:29:29,227
All the ones about Nantucket.
618
00:29:30,728 --> 00:29:33,564
I think his favorite was about
a little handicapped girl.
619
00:29:34,532 --> 00:29:37,301
"There once was
a girl who was crippled,"
620
00:29:37,401 --> 00:29:39,203
"by the weight
of her overgrown nipple."
621
00:29:40,003 --> 00:29:42,640
I needed to talk to someone
who saw grandpa clearly.
622
00:29:51,482 --> 00:29:53,217
Dad.
623
00:29:57,921 --> 00:29:59,223
Dad, are you in there?
624
00:30:11,335 --> 00:30:13,804
Dad, the door is locked,
and I need to talk.
625
00:30:14,405 --> 00:30:15,405
Katie?
626
00:30:15,606 --> 00:30:16,607
Dad?
627
00:30:17,175 --> 00:30:18,342
Fuck!
628
00:30:18,976 --> 00:30:20,211
Coming.
629
00:30:24,114 --> 00:30:25,416
Dad. Coming!
630
00:30:31,822 --> 00:30:32,890
Fuck! Fuck!
631
00:30:37,495 --> 00:30:38,562
Dad.
632
00:30:40,231 --> 00:30:41,499
Coming, coming, sweetie.
633
00:30:45,236 --> 00:30:46,570
God damn it!
634
00:30:55,379 --> 00:30:56,514
Is that a joint?
635
00:30:59,183 --> 00:31:01,385
Ah! Dad?
636
00:31:16,234 --> 00:31:17,468
Yes, boys?
637
00:31:19,470 --> 00:31:22,773
So, uh, how's that book going?
638
00:31:23,607 --> 00:31:24,608
It's hot.
639
00:31:28,111 --> 00:31:30,681
Can we help you with anything?
640
00:31:33,083 --> 00:31:36,254
Maybe, uh, intern with you?
641
00:31:42,226 --> 00:31:43,527
You can rub my feet if you want.
642
00:31:46,163 --> 00:31:47,831
That would be nice.
643
00:31:48,266 --> 00:31:50,434
Mom has that appointment
with the parson tomorrow.
644
00:31:50,534 --> 00:31:52,614
Yeah, well, don't worry,
'cause I'm gonna spring her.
645
00:31:53,671 --> 00:31:55,473
She was trying to kill herself.
646
00:31:55,573 --> 00:31:57,808
Yeah. It's pretty common.
647
00:31:58,141 --> 00:31:59,777
In fact, after Scandinavians,
648
00:31:59,877 --> 00:32:02,913
it's the over-70 crowd
that is the most suicidal.
649
00:32:03,314 --> 00:32:05,383
Well, shouldn't we be doing
something to help her?
650
00:32:05,649 --> 00:32:06,850
No. Mmm-mmm.
651
00:32:06,950 --> 00:32:09,320
'Cause, um, once people
have their mind made up,
652
00:32:09,420 --> 00:32:11,021
there's, there's
really very little
653
00:32:11,121 --> 00:32:12,390
that you could do to stop 'em.
654
00:32:12,890 --> 00:32:15,393
There's got to be
something we can do.
655
00:32:15,759 --> 00:32:18,161
Do you remember
that game against Easton?
656
00:32:18,262 --> 00:32:20,264
Oh, yeah. They were
a very tough team.
657
00:32:20,364 --> 00:32:22,766
No, but do you remember, uh...
658
00:32:22,866 --> 00:32:25,235
Naomi in the hotel...
Oh, at the motel?
659
00:32:25,336 --> 00:32:28,772
With the oow-oow-oow?
Oow-oow-oow.
660
00:32:28,872 --> 00:32:32,343
Do you remember? "Oh, look at
how silly and normal I can act"
661
00:32:32,443 --> 00:32:34,545
"when I'm not
persecuting my sister."
662
00:32:45,289 --> 00:32:46,724
How often do you smoke?
663
00:32:48,225 --> 00:32:49,493
You know...
664
00:32:50,093 --> 00:32:51,093
Never in the morning.
665
00:32:51,695 --> 00:32:52,695
Dad.
666
00:32:52,730 --> 00:32:54,898
I know, I...
That was really lame.
667
00:32:54,998 --> 00:32:56,500
I just...
668
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,336
I don't know what
I'm doing anymore.
669
00:32:58,936 --> 00:32:59,970
You're mourning.
670
00:33:00,838 --> 00:33:01,872
Yeah.
671
00:33:02,906 --> 00:33:04,274
What? You're mourning.
672
00:33:04,542 --> 00:33:06,910
Yeah. Yes. I think I am.
673
00:33:07,277 --> 00:33:08,512
Yeah.
674
00:33:09,246 --> 00:33:10,748
You'd think I'd be
over it by now.
675
00:33:12,049 --> 00:33:13,617
Well, Dad, it just happened.
676
00:33:14,785 --> 00:33:15,786
No.
677
00:33:16,587 --> 00:33:18,055
He's been dead for years.
678
00:33:18,389 --> 00:33:19,523
What?
679
00:33:20,491 --> 00:33:21,725
If I just would have gotten
680
00:33:21,825 --> 00:33:23,927
that stupid
toothpaste commercial.
681
00:33:24,027 --> 00:33:25,062
That was the moment.
682
00:33:25,162 --> 00:33:26,464
I swear to God.
683
00:33:26,564 --> 00:33:27,798
What are we talking about?
684
00:33:27,898 --> 00:33:30,267
I... I was the choice
685
00:33:30,368 --> 00:33:32,202
for this toothpaste campaign.
686
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:33,604
I was the guy, and I just...
687
00:33:33,704 --> 00:33:35,506
I could not say the line.
688
00:33:35,606 --> 00:33:37,508
I literally...
I couldn't say it.
689
00:33:37,608 --> 00:33:39,843
You know, "It's the
breath freshiest."
690
00:33:40,043 --> 00:33:41,044
I just...
691
00:33:42,546 --> 00:33:44,147
Okay. I can't believe
I just said that.
692
00:33:44,247 --> 00:33:46,684
I have never been able
to say that before.
693
00:33:46,784 --> 00:33:48,285
It's like
a tongue-twister for me.
694
00:33:48,386 --> 00:33:50,087
"It's the breath freshiest."
695
00:33:50,187 --> 00:33:51,589
Oh, my God!
696
00:33:55,626 --> 00:33:56,626
Fuck.
697
00:33:59,597 --> 00:34:01,799
Um, Dad, are you okay?
698
00:34:01,899 --> 00:34:03,434
Yeah. I'm sorry.
699
00:34:04,635 --> 00:34:06,504
I'm sorry. It's just...
700
00:34:09,106 --> 00:34:10,173
I just feel sometimes
701
00:34:10,273 --> 00:34:11,475
like I've spent my whole life
702
00:34:11,575 --> 00:34:13,010
in this waiting room
703
00:34:13,110 --> 00:34:14,344
at an audition, you know,
704
00:34:14,445 --> 00:34:17,114
and they finally called
my fucking name,
705
00:34:17,214 --> 00:34:18,816
and I just...
706
00:34:18,916 --> 00:34:21,351
And then somebody else
stood up, you know,
707
00:34:21,452 --> 00:34:22,586
and they got my role,
708
00:34:22,686 --> 00:34:23,987
and they've been living my life,
709
00:34:24,087 --> 00:34:25,456
and I'm just groping.
710
00:34:25,556 --> 00:34:27,525
I've just been stumbling around
711
00:34:27,625 --> 00:34:28,892
in the dark ever since then.
712
00:34:33,130 --> 00:34:34,465
Your mom knew. Your mom knew.
713
00:34:34,565 --> 00:34:36,366
She always said,
714
00:34:36,467 --> 00:34:38,101
"We have to get out
of acting, Daniel."
715
00:34:39,970 --> 00:34:41,405
Mom was an actress?
716
00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:46,410
No.
717
00:34:46,510 --> 00:34:48,579
You just said, "We have to
get out of acting."
718
00:34:48,879 --> 00:34:51,749
No. I must have
misspelled something.
719
00:34:52,082 --> 00:34:53,083
What?
720
00:34:54,918 --> 00:34:55,753
What?
721
00:34:55,853 --> 00:34:58,221
You told me Mom
was a social worker
722
00:34:58,321 --> 00:34:59,690
who died of caring too much.
723
00:35:02,392 --> 00:35:04,161
I said she...
What did I say she did?
724
00:35:05,996 --> 00:35:07,598
Dad, did you lie to me?
725
00:35:07,698 --> 00:35:09,032
No, no, no, no. No?
726
00:35:09,132 --> 00:35:11,268
No. I... No.
727
00:35:11,569 --> 00:35:14,171
I probably was just, uh,
protecting you.
728
00:35:15,272 --> 00:35:16,440
So, Mom was an actress?
729
00:35:18,175 --> 00:35:19,242
Well...
730
00:35:19,777 --> 00:35:21,445
Is there anything
I could see her in?
731
00:35:22,112 --> 00:35:23,112
No.
732
00:35:24,147 --> 00:35:25,148
No? No.
733
00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:26,884
Well...
734
00:35:28,819 --> 00:35:31,088
What kind of movies
did Mom make, Dad?
735
00:35:31,555 --> 00:35:32,990
Honestly, it's not that bad.
736
00:35:34,091 --> 00:35:35,793
She never used her real name.
737
00:35:37,294 --> 00:35:39,530
Do you have any, um...
738
00:35:39,630 --> 00:35:41,699
Do you have any
Cookie Tushala movies?
739
00:35:42,933 --> 00:35:45,035
I'll check, but we're
probably all out.
740
00:35:46,036 --> 00:35:47,304
Is that Katie Collins?
741
00:35:47,404 --> 00:35:49,306
Hi. Hi, Katie.
742
00:35:49,406 --> 00:35:51,775
I haven't seen you since you
were at the house with...
743
00:35:53,176 --> 00:35:55,979
You're in luck. And this
one's possibly her best,
744
00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:58,215
just for its utter
lack of story.
745
00:35:59,016 --> 00:36:00,417
We heard about your grandfather.
746
00:36:00,518 --> 00:36:02,486
Oh, yes. We didn't
know him very well,
747
00:36:02,586 --> 00:36:03,587
but we're very sorry.
748
00:36:03,687 --> 00:36:05,255
Oh, thanks so much.
749
00:36:05,355 --> 00:36:06,824
Yeah, that'll be $3.50.
750
00:36:07,925 --> 00:36:09,725
Does
Ryan know you're here?
751
00:36:10,027 --> 00:36:13,030
Oh. Wait till he hears
who we saw renting...
752
00:36:13,664 --> 00:36:14,832
Vagina Town.
753
00:36:15,733 --> 00:36:17,134
Thanks.
754
00:36:18,068 --> 00:36:19,236
It's a classic.
755
00:36:21,605 --> 00:36:22,806
How would I know?
756
00:36:29,246 --> 00:36:30,748
Be careful what you wish for.
757
00:36:49,099 --> 00:36:50,500
Uh, howdy, ma'am.
758
00:36:50,601 --> 00:36:52,069
Coming.
759
00:36:52,169 --> 00:36:54,209
I just rode into town from
a long ride on the trail.
760
00:36:55,405 --> 00:36:57,841
We didn't see this town
761
00:36:57,941 --> 00:37:00,844
on any of our trail maps, ma'am.
762
00:37:00,944 --> 00:37:03,714
Hey, dudes. I'm looking for Katie.
Hi.
763
00:37:03,814 --> 00:37:05,115
She's here somewhere.
764
00:37:05,983 --> 00:37:07,217
Cousin Katie!
765
00:37:07,317 --> 00:37:11,188
This is a
town unlike any other town.
766
00:37:11,555 --> 00:37:12,690
Yes, ma'am.
767
00:37:12,790 --> 00:37:15,058
This is a very unusual town
you have here.
768
00:37:15,425 --> 00:37:16,727
I hope you boys
769
00:37:16,827 --> 00:37:18,629
know how to ride bareback.
770
00:37:18,729 --> 00:37:21,899
Holy Jesus!
His penis!
771
00:37:21,999 --> 00:37:23,279
Most people
don't even like
772
00:37:23,333 --> 00:37:25,769
to think of their parents
having sex with each other,
773
00:37:25,869 --> 00:37:28,071
much less multiple bad actors.
774
00:37:28,171 --> 00:37:29,206
I had to do something.
775
00:37:31,341 --> 00:37:32,810
Hey, I was watching that!
776
00:37:38,015 --> 00:37:39,016
Morning.
777
00:37:39,116 --> 00:37:40,116
Morning.
778
00:37:40,150 --> 00:37:41,151
Coffee?
779
00:37:41,251 --> 00:37:42,319
No.
780
00:37:43,787 --> 00:37:45,522
Other families have
these sort of problems,
781
00:37:45,623 --> 00:37:47,557
but they don't talk
about them, all right?
782
00:37:48,525 --> 00:37:50,961
I mean, I'm sorry.
I live in the real world.
783
00:37:51,729 --> 00:37:54,131
I work hard at raising
a decent family.
784
00:37:54,932 --> 00:37:55,966
Ugh!
785
00:37:56,066 --> 00:37:58,268
You don't see me prancing
around in my pajamas all day,
786
00:37:58,368 --> 00:38:01,038
starting up pillow fights
with my topless girlfriend.
787
00:38:02,973 --> 00:38:04,241
What are we talking about?
788
00:38:05,876 --> 00:38:07,945
It won't work. Everyone knows
789
00:38:08,045 --> 00:38:09,847
that the only gay
relationships that last
790
00:38:09,947 --> 00:38:11,915
are between people
of the same height.
791
00:38:13,817 --> 00:38:15,285
Did you and Lucy ever get along?
792
00:38:15,619 --> 00:38:17,087
Well, I guess.
793
00:38:17,454 --> 00:38:19,422
Well, when your grandfather
was around, of course.
794
00:38:19,757 --> 00:38:21,091
He kept the peace?
795
00:38:21,191 --> 00:38:22,492
Uh, no, no, no.
796
00:38:22,592 --> 00:38:24,662
He just kept us on eggshells.
797
00:38:25,228 --> 00:38:28,098
He had us all so desperate
for his approval.
798
00:38:29,399 --> 00:38:30,500
Well, look at your father.
799
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,202
He made a career out of it.
800
00:38:33,771 --> 00:38:34,771
Morning. Morning, Dad.
801
00:38:34,838 --> 00:38:36,006
Morning, Danny.
802
00:38:36,106 --> 00:38:37,450
Morning, everyone. DANIEL:
Everybody sleep okay?
803
00:38:37,474 --> 00:38:39,009
Never. I did.
804
00:38:39,810 --> 00:38:41,354
Hey, did we have
a blackout last night?
805
00:38:41,378 --> 00:38:42,279
That's what I heard.
806
00:38:42,379 --> 00:38:45,015
Yeah, we sure did. I couldn't
even find my room...
807
00:38:45,916 --> 00:38:47,651
What? You found my
room all right.
808
00:38:48,085 --> 00:38:48,919
It was dark.
809
00:38:49,019 --> 00:38:50,854
So you hid in my closet?
810
00:38:52,756 --> 00:38:54,124
With your kids?
811
00:38:54,224 --> 00:38:55,625
We were lost.
812
00:38:56,193 --> 00:38:58,161
Um, hey, you guys,
listen to this.
813
00:38:58,261 --> 00:38:59,396
Tell me how it sounds.
814
00:39:00,297 --> 00:39:02,766
"Grandpa made us aware
that there is"
815
00:39:02,866 --> 00:39:05,035
"a whole world
of opportunity out there."
816
00:39:06,169 --> 00:39:06,970
He did?
817
00:39:07,070 --> 00:39:08,405
Who are we talking about?
818
00:39:08,505 --> 00:39:09,673
Grandpa. Oh.
819
00:39:09,773 --> 00:39:11,374
Tell her about
the time that, uh,
820
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:13,176
Dad built us that swing.
821
00:39:13,410 --> 00:39:14,812
That was Carl, the neighbor.
822
00:39:15,312 --> 00:39:16,479
Mr. Grabby.
823
00:39:16,579 --> 00:39:18,415
Mr. Grabby built the swing?
824
00:39:18,515 --> 00:39:21,284
Mmm. Oh, he was so creepy.
825
00:39:22,019 --> 00:39:24,487
He'd put his hand on your shoulder
and announce, "You're it."
826
00:39:24,822 --> 00:39:26,123
Then he wouldn't run away.
827
00:39:26,223 --> 00:39:27,991
He wouldn't even
take his hand away.
828
00:39:28,091 --> 00:39:29,326
Right.
829
00:39:29,693 --> 00:39:31,594
Um, hi, you guys.
830
00:39:31,695 --> 00:39:33,463
Um, there was
a lot of paperwork,
831
00:39:33,563 --> 00:39:34,763
and I had to pull some strings
832
00:39:34,832 --> 00:39:35,832
and sign a lot of names,
833
00:39:35,866 --> 00:39:37,968
but she's back.
834
00:39:38,201 --> 00:39:39,636
Grandma.
There she is.
835
00:39:39,737 --> 00:39:40,897
Hi, Mother. Hey, Mom.
836
00:39:41,238 --> 00:39:43,206
Try it again,
I'll kill you myself.
837
00:39:44,241 --> 00:39:45,542
Alice.
838
00:39:45,642 --> 00:39:49,012
Well, I have to get
back to work, so... Bye.
839
00:39:49,112 --> 00:39:50,247
Thanks, Sam.
840
00:39:51,314 --> 00:39:52,315
What happened, Grandma?
841
00:39:52,415 --> 00:39:53,751
Nothing happened.
842
00:39:53,851 --> 00:39:56,119
I was just a little confused.
843
00:39:56,519 --> 00:39:57,654
About what?
844
00:39:57,755 --> 00:40:00,657
Well, I thought the vows
we took were forever.
845
00:40:00,758 --> 00:40:01,759
They were.
846
00:40:01,859 --> 00:40:03,727
It's just that your forever
847
00:40:03,827 --> 00:40:05,929
was longer than
Grandpa's forever.
848
00:40:06,897 --> 00:40:09,299
Hi, everybody. ALL: Hey, Ryan.
849
00:40:09,399 --> 00:40:10,768
Katie.
850
00:40:11,234 --> 00:40:13,403
Hey, Ryan.
851
00:40:14,271 --> 00:40:15,338
How are you?
852
00:40:15,806 --> 00:40:17,474
Good. Um...
853
00:40:19,042 --> 00:40:20,477
I'm sorry about
your grandfather.
854
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,548
Hey. You know...
855
00:40:25,983 --> 00:40:28,385
He died.
856
00:40:29,352 --> 00:40:32,923
Yeah. Um... You know, it's...
You can't, uh...
857
00:40:36,659 --> 00:40:38,829
You want to, like,
go for a walk or...
858
00:40:55,245 --> 00:40:56,279
So...
859
00:40:57,815 --> 00:40:59,116
So...
860
00:41:00,818 --> 00:41:03,821
Still driving a taxi? Yeah. Yep.
861
00:41:04,922 --> 00:41:06,456
To save up money for college.
862
00:41:07,825 --> 00:41:09,192
Are you mad at me?
863
00:41:09,292 --> 00:41:10,493
No.
864
00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:13,530
Really? Really. I mean it.
865
00:41:15,265 --> 00:41:16,533
You're a great kid.
866
00:41:19,736 --> 00:41:21,238
Um... Thanks, Coach.
867
00:41:24,241 --> 00:41:26,877
No, I just...
I just think that...
868
00:41:28,545 --> 00:41:29,825
What happened last summer was...
869
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:32,182
What? What happened?
870
00:41:33,884 --> 00:41:35,118
At your house.
871
00:41:38,421 --> 00:41:39,556
After the movie.
872
00:41:48,999 --> 00:41:50,467
Oh, you don't mean
873
00:41:51,501 --> 00:41:54,571
that time when you attacked
me at the movie theater,
874
00:41:54,671 --> 00:41:56,173
and then you came
over to my place
875
00:41:56,273 --> 00:41:57,774
and took all your clothes off
876
00:41:57,875 --> 00:41:59,642
and then ran out without
saying goodbye.
877
00:42:00,177 --> 00:42:01,544
Is that what you're
talking about?
878
00:42:02,779 --> 00:42:03,813
Katie.
879
00:42:04,214 --> 00:42:06,416
Knock-knock. Who's there?
880
00:42:06,516 --> 00:42:08,418
Salmon. Salmon who?
881
00:42:08,518 --> 00:42:09,853
Salmonella.
882
00:42:10,420 --> 00:42:11,855
What are you doing?
883
00:42:12,389 --> 00:42:13,423
Science experiment.
884
00:42:13,523 --> 00:42:16,426
How many eggs does it take
to make them say something?
885
00:42:17,060 --> 00:42:18,728
Speak, young cousins.
886
00:42:18,962 --> 00:42:20,931
Burt, you see
what's going on here?
887
00:42:23,100 --> 00:42:24,167
Burt.
888
00:42:24,267 --> 00:42:25,368
Oh. Uh...
889
00:42:34,444 --> 00:42:36,446
What has Alice done
to all of you?
890
00:42:40,117 --> 00:42:42,252
Now, this is my favorite.
891
00:42:42,819 --> 00:42:45,355
Cherry, inlaid olive,
892
00:42:45,889 --> 00:42:47,624
and real brass fittings.
893
00:42:48,758 --> 00:42:51,294
At just $32,000,
it's quite a steal.
894
00:42:51,962 --> 00:42:53,696
Just $32,000?
895
00:42:54,131 --> 00:42:56,466
How much does it cost to
stick him in a garbage bag?
896
00:42:56,566 --> 00:42:57,667
Mother!
897
00:42:57,767 --> 00:42:59,236
What does he care? Mom,
898
00:42:59,336 --> 00:43:02,005
it's just
unbelievably disrespectful.
899
00:43:02,105 --> 00:43:03,974
This isn't even
going in the ground.
900
00:43:04,241 --> 00:43:05,308
What?
901
00:43:05,608 --> 00:43:06,609
What do you mean?
902
00:43:06,709 --> 00:43:11,314
Dad wanted us to float him
out in a flaming boat.
903
00:43:11,781 --> 00:43:13,283
I'm not sure that's legal.
904
00:43:14,084 --> 00:43:15,618
Great.
905
00:43:15,919 --> 00:43:18,488
Well, my kids are not
staying for that.
906
00:43:18,956 --> 00:43:21,024
Why doesn't he
want to be buried?
907
00:43:21,324 --> 00:43:22,759
I don't want to be buried.
908
00:43:22,859 --> 00:43:24,594
No. This is not about you.
909
00:43:24,694 --> 00:43:25,762
I hate bugs.
910
00:43:25,862 --> 00:43:28,365
Yeah, I have to admit,
I don't exactly get
911
00:43:28,465 --> 00:43:30,400
the whole cemetery thing myself.
912
00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:34,437
A cemetery is like an
old-age home for the dead,
913
00:43:35,672 --> 00:43:39,109
a place where you can visit your
loved ones without the bother
914
00:43:39,209 --> 00:43:41,344
of daily care and maintenance.
915
00:43:41,444 --> 00:43:42,612
Daily care?
916
00:43:42,912 --> 00:43:44,381
Oh, you'd be surprised.
917
00:43:45,715 --> 00:43:47,517
Ah, Parson Banke.
918
00:43:48,918 --> 00:43:50,487
Sad business.
919
00:43:50,820 --> 00:43:51,888
Sad business.
920
00:43:51,989 --> 00:43:53,957
This is the surviving
Collins family.
921
00:43:54,057 --> 00:43:55,325
I'm Alice Collins.
922
00:43:55,425 --> 00:43:56,526
Hi. I'm Daniel.
923
00:43:56,626 --> 00:43:59,129
Daniel. Hi.
924
00:43:59,229 --> 00:44:00,397
Hi.
925
00:44:04,167 --> 00:44:07,004
They're mourning the loss
of their beloved Edmund.
926
00:44:08,905 --> 00:44:10,940
Ah. Ah.
927
00:44:14,011 --> 00:44:17,514
I didn't know Edmund
as well as I should have.
928
00:44:20,383 --> 00:44:21,951
Perhaps if we had ever met.
929
00:44:26,789 --> 00:44:28,225
Katie.
930
00:44:29,159 --> 00:44:32,329
Katie. Katie. Katie,
Katie, Katie, I'm sorry.
931
00:44:32,762 --> 00:44:34,197
I'm sorry.
932
00:44:35,565 --> 00:44:38,435
I don't want anything that may or
may not have happened between us
933
00:44:39,002 --> 00:44:40,303
to affect our friendship.
934
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:43,740
You mean that? Yeah.
935
00:44:44,007 --> 00:44:46,709
I don't have
any friends like you.
936
00:44:47,277 --> 00:44:49,412
So we'll be friends? Yeah.
937
00:44:49,979 --> 00:44:52,182
Always were. Right?
938
00:44:55,085 --> 00:44:56,353
Thank you.
939
00:45:05,928 --> 00:45:07,340
Well, I don't know
why everything has to be
940
00:45:07,364 --> 00:45:09,299
such a production
with this family.
941
00:45:10,433 --> 00:45:12,001
We didn't need to buy one.
942
00:45:12,569 --> 00:45:14,537
The basement's
loaded with boxes.
943
00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:16,073
You don't bring your own, Mom.
944
00:45:16,173 --> 00:45:18,408
But we did buy one.
We bought a box.
945
00:45:18,608 --> 00:45:19,409
So, it's over.
946
00:45:19,509 --> 00:45:21,844
Looked more like
a shipping crate, but...
947
00:45:22,579 --> 00:45:24,547
Your father would
have wanted a bag.
948
00:45:25,382 --> 00:45:27,650
Look, could we just
try to act normal
949
00:45:27,750 --> 00:45:29,986
for the next two days?
Would that be possible?
950
00:45:30,087 --> 00:45:33,723
Does that include you, or are you just
telling everybody else what to do?
951
00:45:33,823 --> 00:45:35,192
Look, don't cast me in the role
952
00:45:35,292 --> 00:45:36,926
of crazed control freak,
all right?
953
00:45:37,026 --> 00:45:38,595
Stop auditioning for it.
954
00:45:38,695 --> 00:45:41,398
I just wanted to put my
dead father in a nice box.
955
00:45:41,498 --> 00:45:43,600
You want to put
everyone in a box.
956
00:45:44,067 --> 00:45:45,235
The ineffectual mother box,
957
00:45:45,335 --> 00:45:47,337
the struggling actor box.
958
00:45:48,071 --> 00:45:49,439
People put themselves in boxes.
959
00:45:49,539 --> 00:45:50,907
I just label them.
960
00:45:51,608 --> 00:45:53,510
Like the rebellious,
teenage lesbian box
961
00:45:53,610 --> 00:45:55,812
that you're still
stuck in at 35.
962
00:45:55,912 --> 00:45:57,314
Stop it. Stop it!
963
00:45:57,414 --> 00:45:59,949
Ladies. Don't start your
shit with me, little sis!
964
00:46:00,049 --> 00:46:01,818
I'm warning you...
965
00:46:01,918 --> 00:46:04,154
Something is stuck to my tongue!
966
00:46:14,964 --> 00:46:16,366
Try not to worry so much.
967
00:46:16,766 --> 00:46:19,202
Everything is gonna
work out for you kids.
968
00:46:20,069 --> 00:46:22,705
And always remember
to brush before bed.
969
00:46:31,514 --> 00:46:32,514
Uh, guys...
970
00:46:36,018 --> 00:46:37,086
So, that was really lucky.
971
00:46:37,187 --> 00:46:38,921
You guys were right there, hmm?
972
00:46:39,088 --> 00:46:41,258
Yeah. Um...
973
00:46:42,159 --> 00:46:43,926
That was lucky. Yeah.
974
00:46:44,127 --> 00:46:45,462
Um, you guys...
975
00:46:46,896 --> 00:46:47,897
Sam.
976
00:46:47,997 --> 00:46:49,007
Is she gonna be all right?
977
00:46:49,031 --> 00:46:50,833
Um, she's...
She's gonna be fine.
978
00:46:51,100 --> 00:46:52,902
She snapped a few bones,
979
00:46:53,536 --> 00:46:55,372
mostly shoulder and face,
980
00:46:55,738 --> 00:46:56,806
a couple of ribs.
981
00:46:57,274 --> 00:46:58,551
But they slapped
her in a halfie.
982
00:46:58,575 --> 00:47:00,410
Oh, well, that's good, right?
983
00:47:01,077 --> 00:47:02,077
Can we see her?
984
00:47:02,111 --> 00:47:03,480
Not until she hardens,
985
00:47:03,580 --> 00:47:06,849
and, you know, even then, it
might not be, um, a great idea.
986
00:47:06,949 --> 00:47:08,194
She might want to be left alone,
987
00:47:08,218 --> 00:47:10,753
because usually people
are kind of embarrassed
988
00:47:10,853 --> 00:47:12,789
after an accident like that.
989
00:47:13,156 --> 00:47:14,924
It wasn't an accident.
990
00:47:15,525 --> 00:47:17,494
Well, it is what it is.
991
00:47:17,794 --> 00:47:21,097
So, um, why don't
you guys, uh, go home,
992
00:47:21,198 --> 00:47:22,865
and then I'll... I'll
give you an update
993
00:47:22,965 --> 00:47:24,167
when I get off of work.
994
00:47:25,602 --> 00:47:28,238
I'm sorry, you had to see
my grandma like that.
995
00:47:30,773 --> 00:47:33,343
I've never seen anyone like that.
996
00:47:36,979 --> 00:47:38,181
Hey.
997
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:45,688
You okay? Oh, yeah.
998
00:47:48,024 --> 00:47:51,261
This weekend just keeps
getting better and better.
999
00:47:52,094 --> 00:47:53,930
Your grandmother's
gonna be fine, okay?
1000
00:47:54,030 --> 00:47:55,465
And your grandfather...
1001
00:47:57,033 --> 00:47:58,201
He's, um...
1002
00:47:59,068 --> 00:48:01,170
I'm sorry.
1003
00:48:01,404 --> 00:48:03,840
I still have to
think of something
1004
00:48:04,941 --> 00:48:06,743
to say about him that's
1005
00:48:06,843 --> 00:48:10,213
nicer than, "He wasn't a
freak like the rest of you."
1006
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:12,181
You could talk about
1007
00:48:12,282 --> 00:48:14,217
how his eyes would light
up when he saw you.
1008
00:48:16,085 --> 00:48:17,854
Or how they'd narrow
1009
00:48:17,954 --> 00:48:19,356
when he saw me.
1010
00:48:22,292 --> 00:48:23,693
Feel a little better?
1011
00:48:28,765 --> 00:48:31,067
Did she say anything
before she jumped?
1012
00:48:33,970 --> 00:48:35,472
"Brush your teeth."
1013
00:48:35,938 --> 00:48:37,574
Oral hygiene freak.
1014
00:48:38,941 --> 00:48:39,976
Shh!
1015
00:48:41,344 --> 00:48:42,845
I heard something.
1016
00:48:46,182 --> 00:48:47,650
Malice.
1017
00:48:50,687 --> 00:48:52,088
Yeah, what ever
happened to Alice?
1018
00:48:52,722 --> 00:48:55,057
Yeah. Who dumped her
in the bitch tank?
1019
00:48:58,828 --> 00:49:01,197
She wasn't like this
when we were kids.
1020
00:49:01,664 --> 00:49:03,032
Wait a second.
1021
00:49:03,132 --> 00:49:04,209
We're talking about Alice here?
1022
00:49:04,233 --> 00:49:08,338
Yeah. Alice was fun
1023
00:49:08,438 --> 00:49:10,039
and mischievous.
1024
00:49:10,773 --> 00:49:12,442
We're talking about
your sister Alice?
1025
00:49:12,542 --> 00:49:13,710
Yeah.
1026
00:49:13,810 --> 00:49:14,877
What happened?
1027
00:49:15,578 --> 00:49:17,880
You know how some women
respond to motherhood?
1028
00:49:21,384 --> 00:49:22,552
Some don't.
1029
00:49:27,056 --> 00:49:28,224
It's Kate.
1030
00:49:28,891 --> 00:49:31,361
What are you guys
doing down here?
1031
00:49:32,962 --> 00:49:34,631
Just sitting and...
1032
00:49:35,264 --> 00:49:36,733
Smoking pot again?
1033
00:49:39,569 --> 00:49:40,770
That's what we're doing.
1034
00:49:41,170 --> 00:49:42,772
Your family's a weed-head.
1035
00:49:44,407 --> 00:49:47,444
Remember, remember the
crew cuts in high school?
1036
00:49:48,244 --> 00:49:49,546
You and Alice
1037
00:49:50,179 --> 00:49:51,381
fought the dress code there.
1038
00:49:52,181 --> 00:49:53,249
She was cool.
1039
00:49:53,650 --> 00:49:55,450
Remember when she used to sing?
Remember that?
1040
00:49:55,818 --> 00:49:57,053
My Aunt Alice?
1041
00:49:57,454 --> 00:49:59,356
Alice and Blue.
1042
00:49:59,756 --> 00:50:02,291
Yeah, whatever happened
to Alice and Blue?
1043
00:50:04,894 --> 00:50:06,496
Whatever happened
to any of us, really?
1044
00:50:06,596 --> 00:50:08,465
What happened to us? I mean,
1045
00:50:09,699 --> 00:50:11,968
what's gonna happen? We're
gonna close our eyes, and then
1046
00:50:12,068 --> 00:50:14,371
we're gonna open up, and
we're all gonna be on a big
1047
00:50:14,471 --> 00:50:15,905
flaming rowboat.
1048
00:50:17,106 --> 00:50:18,641
Dead on a boat.
1049
00:50:20,710 --> 00:50:22,421
Yeah, how are we supposed
to do that, by the way?
1050
00:50:22,445 --> 00:50:23,946
Do what? Mom said that
1051
00:50:24,046 --> 00:50:25,748
Dad wants us to
1052
00:50:26,082 --> 00:50:27,450
put him in his little rowboat.
1053
00:50:27,550 --> 00:50:29,395
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding here.
1054
00:50:29,419 --> 00:50:30,820
And light it on fire.
1055
00:50:31,488 --> 00:50:32,989
And launch him out to sea.
1056
00:50:33,089 --> 00:50:34,357
Like the Vikings.
1057
00:50:34,457 --> 00:50:35,925
Hmm. And you listened to her?
1058
00:50:36,359 --> 00:50:37,870
Good thing he didn't
want us to eat him.
1059
00:50:38,828 --> 00:50:40,997
Hey, my boys will help,
when we do that.
1060
00:50:41,197 --> 00:50:42,231
That's comforting.
1061
00:50:42,331 --> 00:50:43,700
When I die,
1062
00:50:45,568 --> 00:50:46,903
I want to be cremated.
1063
00:50:47,003 --> 00:50:48,004
Oh, me, too.
1064
00:50:48,337 --> 00:50:49,338
Yeah, me, too.
1065
00:50:49,439 --> 00:50:50,559
I want you to take my ashes,
1066
00:50:50,607 --> 00:50:52,341
and I want you to mix them
1067
00:50:53,009 --> 00:50:55,645
with the ink that the
government uses to print money.
1068
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:01,050
Yes. And then... And
then I'll be everywhere.
1069
00:51:05,788 --> 00:51:07,990
So, this is
how you choose to
1070
00:51:08,791 --> 00:51:10,460
spend the time, while mother
1071
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,662
is hardening in the hospital?
That's cool.
1072
00:51:13,129 --> 00:51:14,129
Emotion denied.
1073
00:51:14,664 --> 00:51:16,132
Hey, give me that joint.
1074
00:51:16,633 --> 00:51:17,767
Give me the joint.
1075
00:51:32,214 --> 00:51:33,282
Uh-oh.
1076
00:51:33,716 --> 00:51:36,085
She's adding ingredients
to her personality.
1077
00:51:36,853 --> 00:51:38,187
You know, um, now
1078
00:51:38,688 --> 00:51:40,890
might be a good time for
you to get stories.
1079
00:51:41,290 --> 00:51:42,859
About you grandfather.
1080
00:51:43,392 --> 00:51:44,770
You know what I would say
if he was here?
1081
00:51:44,794 --> 00:51:47,196
Right now? I'll tell you
what I'd say if he was here.
1082
00:51:47,964 --> 00:51:49,999
Say, "Hey, Dad.
You got another son."
1083
00:51:50,099 --> 00:51:51,434
"You got another kid."
1084
00:51:51,701 --> 00:51:53,436
"There's two of us, all right?"
1085
00:51:53,536 --> 00:51:55,838
"Don't you remember? Don't
you remember the Skipper?"
1086
00:51:56,205 --> 00:51:57,740
"Oh, no, no."
1087
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:01,377
"That's my boy. That's my...
That's my Danny boy."
1088
00:52:01,811 --> 00:52:03,145
"He's my boy, my Danny boy."
1089
00:52:03,245 --> 00:52:04,514
Well, what about me?
1090
00:52:04,614 --> 00:52:06,616
What about...
Look what I can do.
1091
00:52:06,716 --> 00:52:09,919
Huh? Look what I stuck
to my face, Dad.
1092
00:52:10,186 --> 00:52:11,988
Huh? Can I be your boy?
1093
00:52:12,088 --> 00:52:13,590
Can I be your boy?
1094
00:52:14,290 --> 00:52:15,992
I'm right in front of you!
1095
00:52:20,229 --> 00:52:21,631
This is good shit.
1096
00:52:22,965 --> 00:52:23,965
Oh, yeah.
1097
00:52:24,033 --> 00:52:26,068
You know, that's a great
example for your daughter.
1098
00:52:26,903 --> 00:52:27,903
I'm not here.
1099
00:52:32,141 --> 00:52:34,677
Uh, nice to see you all.
1100
00:52:35,512 --> 00:52:37,614
She said she wasn't here, but
1101
00:52:38,047 --> 00:52:39,115
she was here.
1102
00:52:48,891 --> 00:52:51,293
I don't know if your, uh,
grandparents ever told you,
1103
00:52:51,393 --> 00:52:53,229
but I used to go up
there and hang out
1104
00:52:53,329 --> 00:52:54,864
when you weren't around,
1105
00:52:55,732 --> 00:52:58,568
till your grandfather
hit me with a rock.
1106
00:52:59,101 --> 00:53:00,570
You coming? Yeah.
1107
00:53:05,742 --> 00:53:07,577
He said he thought I was a crow.
1108
00:53:08,745 --> 00:53:11,113
I was not his favorite person.
1109
00:53:18,555 --> 00:53:20,189
What am I gonna say about him?
1110
00:53:20,790 --> 00:53:22,992
What would you want
people to say about you?
1111
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:25,261
What could you say about me?
1112
00:53:28,631 --> 00:53:30,199
What would I say about you?
1113
00:53:47,516 --> 00:53:50,052
We had a... A dress
code in high school.
1114
00:53:50,519 --> 00:53:53,189
We had to wear skirts,
1115
00:53:53,289 --> 00:53:54,824
blouses, little vests.
1116
00:53:55,224 --> 00:53:57,193
And Alice talked
1117
00:53:57,293 --> 00:53:59,295
a bunch of girls, maybe 20,
1118
00:53:59,395 --> 00:54:01,097
into protesting it.
1119
00:54:01,463 --> 00:54:02,932
So, they come to school,
1120
00:54:03,032 --> 00:54:06,302
and they're wearing
jeans and hot pants...
1121
00:54:07,236 --> 00:54:08,504
The headmaster lost it.
1122
00:54:09,005 --> 00:54:11,808
He suspended them,
so next week...
1123
00:54:19,982 --> 00:54:21,317
Next week?
1124
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:24,153
What's next week?
1125
00:54:24,253 --> 00:54:25,655
Sweetie...
1126
00:54:26,322 --> 00:54:27,790
You were telling a story.
1127
00:54:29,491 --> 00:54:30,927
Yeah, you were telling a story.
1128
00:54:32,361 --> 00:54:34,063
Alice and the dress code.
1129
00:54:36,265 --> 00:54:37,399
Oh, God.
1130
00:54:37,499 --> 00:54:39,301
We had a dress code
in high school.
1131
00:54:40,169 --> 00:54:42,371
We had to wear
these little uniforms...
1132
00:54:42,471 --> 00:54:44,006
We heard this part.
1133
00:54:45,675 --> 00:54:49,311
With the... With blouses
and things like this.
1134
00:54:49,411 --> 00:54:53,149
And Alice talked a
bunch of girls, maybe 20...
1135
00:54:53,349 --> 00:54:54,450
Fast-forward.
1136
00:54:56,118 --> 00:55:00,957
And they come to school wearing
hot pants and jeans...
1137
00:55:01,724 --> 00:55:03,359
And so, the next week,
1138
00:55:03,893 --> 00:55:08,297
they come back to school
wearing the uniform,
1139
00:55:08,597 --> 00:55:10,299
but they had crew cuts.
1140
00:55:13,502 --> 00:55:16,505
You know, I can't remember a time
that you weren't telling that story.
1141
00:55:16,605 --> 00:55:18,440
No. She was my hero.
1142
00:55:18,808 --> 00:55:20,109
I'll have some.
1143
00:55:20,209 --> 00:55:22,779
No. You've had quite
enough, my darling.
1144
00:55:24,747 --> 00:55:26,215
You remember when we used to
1145
00:55:26,849 --> 00:55:29,285
try to listen for
each other's thoughts?
1146
00:55:29,385 --> 00:55:31,020
Okay, I got one.
1147
00:55:31,654 --> 00:55:34,123
No. Tell me the first thought.
1148
00:55:34,824 --> 00:55:36,625
Tell me what I'm thinking.
1149
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:41,397
You're thinking, "I hope he doesn't
ask me about my first thought again."
1150
00:55:47,737 --> 00:55:49,672
Oh, it's drizzling.
1151
00:55:51,240 --> 00:55:52,274
It's nice.
1152
00:55:53,609 --> 00:55:54,911
Yeah. Yeah.
1153
00:55:57,780 --> 00:55:59,481
You know, Sam, thanks.
1154
00:55:59,581 --> 00:56:01,550
Thanks for helping us so much.
1155
00:56:01,650 --> 00:56:03,753
Oh, anything for you, Alice.
1156
00:56:05,654 --> 00:56:07,389
Oh, that's nice. All right.
1157
00:56:07,824 --> 00:56:09,434
Do you want to hear
something really pretty?
1158
00:56:09,458 --> 00:56:11,527
A song. I've been
listening to it.
1159
00:56:11,861 --> 00:56:13,529
Yeah. Okay. On the way here.
1160
00:56:14,130 --> 00:56:16,398
I still think this tree house
needs a second storey.
1161
00:56:17,666 --> 00:56:19,368
That was one of
our better ideas.
1162
00:56:21,237 --> 00:56:22,671
Who knew
1163
00:56:23,472 --> 00:56:24,841
that wood paneling
1164
00:56:24,941 --> 00:56:26,342
wouldn't make a solid floor?
1165
00:56:26,442 --> 00:56:27,844
You know?
1166
00:56:27,944 --> 00:56:30,412
Everybody. Yeah, exactly.
1167
00:56:30,679 --> 00:56:32,882
And they kept telling us. Yeah.
1168
00:56:34,350 --> 00:56:35,684
We had a dream.
1169
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:38,187
We did.
1170
00:56:42,759 --> 00:56:44,727
I still dream about you.
1171
00:57:01,143 --> 00:57:02,879
Hey, what ever
happened to that guy
1172
00:57:02,979 --> 00:57:05,147
that you were
going with in college?
1173
00:57:05,347 --> 00:57:08,117
Um... Oh, nothing.
1174
00:57:10,086 --> 00:57:11,087
Hmm.
1175
00:57:13,422 --> 00:57:14,656
Hey, Alice.
1176
00:57:15,024 --> 00:57:16,544
You remember when
your father walked in
1177
00:57:16,625 --> 00:57:18,127
on us in the basement?
1178
00:57:25,968 --> 00:57:27,804
Were we doing this?
1179
00:57:32,641 --> 00:57:34,010
Kind of.
1180
00:57:35,845 --> 00:57:37,379
Were we doing this?
1181
00:57:43,319 --> 00:57:45,121
Um... Sort of.
1182
00:58:14,083 --> 00:58:15,818
What are you guys doing here?
1183
00:58:15,918 --> 00:58:17,086
Just looking.
1184
00:58:17,319 --> 00:58:19,388
He's fogging up my window.
Shut up.
1185
00:58:19,488 --> 00:58:21,423
Stop. What is that?
1186
00:58:30,867 --> 00:58:32,434
We've got to go inside. Come on.
1187
00:58:38,707 --> 00:58:39,976
What are you guys looking at?
1188
00:58:40,576 --> 00:58:42,144
That's Samantha's car.
1189
00:58:42,945 --> 00:58:44,480
I love you guys.
1190
00:58:54,690 --> 00:58:56,325
Oh! You!
1191
00:58:56,692 --> 00:58:57,927
And now
1192
00:58:58,594 --> 00:59:01,830
Miss Katherine Ann Collins
will bestow upon us
1193
00:59:02,531 --> 00:59:04,233
a few comforting words
1194
00:59:04,967 --> 00:59:06,468
in our time of bereavement.
1195
00:59:16,913 --> 00:59:19,281
Edmund Collins was a great man,
1196
00:59:19,381 --> 00:59:21,550
who we all loved
1197
00:59:21,817 --> 00:59:22,985
very deeply.
1198
00:59:23,385 --> 00:59:25,021
Oh, God!
1199
00:59:30,359 --> 00:59:33,762
And he made us feel special
about ourselves...
1200
00:59:33,862 --> 00:59:36,065
Oh, come on, Katie!
1201
00:59:36,165 --> 00:59:37,166
Grandpa!
1202
00:59:37,466 --> 00:59:39,401
Sweetheart, you could
do better than that.
1203
00:59:39,501 --> 00:59:41,237
I, uh...
1204
00:59:41,603 --> 00:59:43,005
You, uh...
1205
00:59:43,105 --> 00:59:44,873
That's the way you
talk when you've been
1206
00:59:44,974 --> 00:59:47,176
hanging around that
local boy too much.
1207
00:59:47,876 --> 00:59:49,345
I know what you've been doing.
1208
00:59:49,912 --> 00:59:51,480
'Cause I can see everything.
1209
00:59:51,747 --> 00:59:53,115
I'm sorry, Grandpa.
1210
00:59:54,216 --> 00:59:55,985
I'm depending on you, sweetie.
1211
00:59:56,085 --> 00:59:57,419
Yes, Grandpa.
1212
00:59:57,519 --> 00:59:58,887
So, don't let me ever
1213
00:59:58,988 --> 01:00:01,523
catch you fooling around
with that delinquent,
1214
01:00:01,623 --> 01:00:04,226
or I swear I'll...
1215
01:00:25,781 --> 01:00:27,216
Good morning.
1216
01:00:31,587 --> 01:00:32,588
Okay...
1217
01:00:32,788 --> 01:00:34,290
Um...
1218
01:00:35,024 --> 01:00:36,592
Is Alice up?
1219
01:00:42,664 --> 01:00:44,000
Are you leaving?
1220
01:00:46,735 --> 01:00:47,936
Yes.
1221
01:00:50,572 --> 01:00:51,640
Okay.
1222
01:00:56,045 --> 01:00:57,179
Morning. Morning.
1223
01:00:57,279 --> 01:00:58,280
Morning.
1224
01:00:58,947 --> 01:01:00,149
Where is she?
1225
01:01:00,249 --> 01:01:01,783
I don't know.
1226
01:01:01,883 --> 01:01:03,452
She didn't leave with Samantha?
1227
01:01:04,786 --> 01:01:05,954
Morning.
1228
01:01:06,055 --> 01:01:07,323
Morning.
1229
01:01:07,423 --> 01:01:08,657
Where's, uh...
1230
01:01:08,824 --> 01:01:10,259
We don't know.
1231
01:01:10,359 --> 01:01:12,561
Well, did she leave...
No, she didn't.
1232
01:01:13,195 --> 01:01:14,930
I saw her get out of the car,
1233
01:01:15,031 --> 01:01:17,199
and I saw her
go towards the woods.
1234
01:01:20,236 --> 01:01:23,472
And then she just became
1235
01:01:24,706 --> 01:01:28,310
a tiny, screaming...
1236
01:01:28,410 --> 01:01:29,410
I'm sorry.
1237
01:01:29,678 --> 01:01:31,398
There are only two hours
before the funeral,
1238
01:01:31,447 --> 01:01:32,727
and I really need
some help here.
1239
01:01:32,814 --> 01:01:33,982
Two hours? Mmm!
1240
01:01:34,216 --> 01:01:35,551
I got to shower.
1241
01:01:35,651 --> 01:01:36,861
Hey, are you guys
getting dressed up?
1242
01:01:36,885 --> 01:01:38,187
Hey, hey, hey, you guys.
1243
01:01:38,287 --> 01:01:41,323
Could one of you please tell me
1244
01:01:41,423 --> 01:01:43,959
one nice thing
1245
01:01:44,060 --> 01:01:47,096
I can say about
your dead father?
1246
01:01:53,602 --> 01:01:56,238
He often called me
Andrea for no reason.
1247
01:01:58,440 --> 01:01:59,741
I was Barry.
1248
01:02:01,143 --> 01:02:02,154
Wait a minute. What about...
1249
01:02:02,178 --> 01:02:03,545
Remember Thanksgiving,
1250
01:02:03,645 --> 01:02:06,248
and that crazy lady broke in the house?
Oh, my God...
1251
01:02:06,348 --> 01:02:07,883
Yes, that woman
with the red hair.
1252
01:02:07,983 --> 01:02:09,385
Yep, yep, and remember.
1253
01:02:09,485 --> 01:02:11,253
She took the,
the leg off a turkey
1254
01:02:11,353 --> 01:02:13,355
and started banging it
on the table,
1255
01:02:13,689 --> 01:02:15,691
and screaming
something about Easter?
1256
01:02:15,791 --> 01:02:17,693
That's... Easter. That's right.
1257
01:02:17,793 --> 01:02:19,027
You remember how cool Dad was?
1258
01:02:19,895 --> 01:02:22,131
He leapt over the table,
swept her off her feet,
1259
01:02:22,231 --> 01:02:24,200
and carried her
out the front door.
1260
01:02:24,300 --> 01:02:26,034
"He protected us."
1261
01:02:27,636 --> 01:02:28,636
What else?
1262
01:02:30,639 --> 01:02:32,241
Why don't you
1263
01:02:32,874 --> 01:02:34,443
read a passage
1264
01:02:35,811 --> 01:02:38,380
from Death of a Salesman?
1265
01:02:40,316 --> 01:02:42,584
I don't know any.
1266
01:02:43,485 --> 01:02:44,553
I do.
1267
01:02:45,287 --> 01:02:47,723
"Put up your hands. Goddamn you!"
1268
01:02:47,823 --> 01:02:49,691
"Put up your hands. Ha."
1269
01:02:52,294 --> 01:02:54,563
"What do you think you are,
better than everybody else?"
1270
01:02:56,398 --> 01:02:57,566
"You don't know everything!
1271
01:02:57,666 --> 01:03:01,069
"You don't know, you big
ignorant, stupid...
1272
01:03:01,703 --> 01:03:04,740
"Put... Put up
your goddamn hands!
1273
01:03:05,941 --> 01:03:07,576
"Put up your hands.
1274
01:03:07,676 --> 01:03:09,911
"Attention must be paid."
1275
01:03:10,379 --> 01:03:12,214
"You ratted on us, Terry!"
1276
01:03:13,048 --> 01:03:14,783
"You ratted on us."
1277
01:03:15,217 --> 01:03:16,218
Shut up!
1278
01:03:16,318 --> 01:03:18,187
Hi, Katie. Ryan.
1279
01:03:18,654 --> 01:03:19,654
How's your leg?
1280
01:03:20,656 --> 01:03:22,324
It's... You know...
1281
01:03:22,624 --> 01:03:23,624
Broken.
1282
01:03:24,526 --> 01:03:25,694
I'm sorry.
1283
01:03:25,794 --> 01:03:27,463
It's okay. Uh, here.
1284
01:03:29,798 --> 01:03:30,798
Here.
1285
01:03:32,934 --> 01:03:33,969
What's this?
1286
01:03:34,403 --> 01:03:35,771
That's the answer
to your question.
1287
01:03:37,005 --> 01:03:38,740
Uh, before you open it,
1288
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:40,276
uh, can we maybe...
1289
01:03:40,809 --> 01:03:41,810
Like, go inside and talk?
1290
01:03:41,977 --> 01:03:43,712
Oh, it's...
1291
01:03:43,812 --> 01:03:45,147
It's kind of crazy in there.
1292
01:03:45,747 --> 01:03:46,915
Okay.
1293
01:03:47,449 --> 01:03:48,660
Do you wanna go somewhere else?
1294
01:03:48,684 --> 01:03:50,452
Um...
1295
01:03:51,153 --> 01:03:53,389
This is kind of
a bad time for me. I...
1296
01:03:54,423 --> 01:03:56,658
Could we maybe meet tomorrow
before I go back to school?
1297
01:03:58,794 --> 01:04:00,329
You didn't
1298
01:04:01,163 --> 01:04:02,531
want me to come to the funeral?
1299
01:04:02,864 --> 01:04:04,266
No, no, I do.
1300
01:04:04,700 --> 01:04:06,535
I do want you to come. I just...
1301
01:04:07,603 --> 01:04:09,171
It's kind of...
1302
01:04:10,071 --> 01:04:11,940
It's Grandpa,
and I'm just afraid
1303
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:13,509
you'll be too much
of a distraction.
1304
01:04:14,109 --> 01:04:15,777
I get it. Okay.
1305
01:04:16,512 --> 01:04:18,512
That came out wrong. I'm sorry.
No, no, no, no, no.
1306
01:04:18,847 --> 01:04:19,847
That came out perfect.
1307
01:04:22,284 --> 01:04:23,924
I don't know what you
want from me, Katie.
1308
01:04:28,156 --> 01:04:29,458
I'm gonna go.
1309
01:04:33,595 --> 01:04:34,663
Katie.
1310
01:04:35,997 --> 01:04:37,098
Katie.
1311
01:04:37,199 --> 01:04:38,500
What?
1312
01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:39,801
Katie.
1313
01:04:39,901 --> 01:04:41,503
What?
1314
01:04:43,339 --> 01:04:44,673
Do you see my cell phone?
1315
01:04:44,773 --> 01:04:45,807
No!
1316
01:04:50,946 --> 01:04:52,156
I knew you'd kill yourself if you
missed your husband's funeral.
1317
01:04:54,850 --> 01:04:56,585
Of course they're
all gonna be there.
1318
01:04:57,052 --> 01:04:59,321
Okay, you're ready.
1319
01:04:59,988 --> 01:05:00,988
Mmm!
1320
01:05:03,091 --> 01:05:04,626
Okay, here we go.
1321
01:05:05,461 --> 01:05:06,762
Yeah, I am hurrying.
1322
01:05:07,496 --> 01:05:08,530
Nurse.
1323
01:05:08,630 --> 01:05:12,834
Uh, I just have to get her
down to X-ray, stat.
1324
01:05:14,603 --> 01:05:16,238
I didn't order any X-rays.
1325
01:05:16,705 --> 01:05:17,806
There.
1326
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:20,175
And now...
1327
01:05:22,744 --> 01:05:23,845
Ta-da!
1328
01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:25,714
And for you,
1329
01:05:27,182 --> 01:05:28,550
a hat
1330
01:05:29,651 --> 01:05:30,752
and...
1331
01:05:34,323 --> 01:05:35,991
It's a look. Okay.
1332
01:05:37,058 --> 01:05:38,394
Let's run some lights.
1333
01:05:43,332 --> 01:05:44,500
Touch him.
1334
01:05:44,900 --> 01:05:45,967
You.
1335
01:05:46,268 --> 01:05:48,136
Looks like he's
gonna say something.
1336
01:05:48,404 --> 01:05:50,772
"Could somebody please
scratch my nose?"
1337
01:05:55,511 --> 01:05:56,778
We're gonna need more gas.
1338
01:05:58,914 --> 01:06:00,882
I definitely don't want
to do this twice.
1339
01:06:05,220 --> 01:06:06,455
I'm just asking everyone
1340
01:06:06,555 --> 01:06:08,424
to stop at my office after this.
1341
01:06:09,124 --> 01:06:10,526
It's on the way to the lake.
1342
01:06:10,626 --> 01:06:11,760
Sure.
1343
01:06:12,127 --> 01:06:13,362
Katie, I'm just asking...
1344
01:06:13,462 --> 01:06:15,531
Did you invite
any of his coworkers?
1345
01:06:16,598 --> 01:06:20,769
Well... Your grandfather
was more of a family man.
1346
01:06:22,404 --> 01:06:23,705
So it's just us?
1347
01:06:23,805 --> 01:06:25,674
Well, where's your grandmother?
1348
01:06:26,207 --> 01:06:27,609
You didn't hear?
1349
01:06:28,877 --> 01:06:30,121
Grandma... What in
the world happened?
1350
01:06:30,145 --> 01:06:31,780
Are you okay?
1351
01:06:34,550 --> 01:06:36,284
She said she's fine.
1352
01:06:38,554 --> 01:06:39,921
She's happy to be here.
1353
01:06:43,359 --> 01:06:45,293
I don't know.
He looks different to me.
1354
01:06:48,697 --> 01:06:51,400
It's hard to picture him
without a twinkle in his eye.
1355
01:06:53,469 --> 01:06:55,404
He really loved you.
1356
01:06:56,071 --> 01:06:57,071
He did.
1357
01:07:12,821 --> 01:07:14,990
Something's
stuck to my tongue.
1358
01:07:23,865 --> 01:07:24,866
Nice touch.
1359
01:07:32,474 --> 01:07:33,842
Bye, Dad.
1360
01:07:47,188 --> 01:07:48,490
Why
1361
01:07:49,591 --> 01:07:51,460
do people have to die?
1362
01:08:03,071 --> 01:08:04,139
I...
1363
01:08:07,743 --> 01:08:09,010
I'm sorry.
1364
01:08:13,148 --> 01:08:15,484
My uncle died recently.
1365
01:08:16,852 --> 01:08:18,654
He was really...
Really the one who...
1366
01:08:19,120 --> 01:08:20,221
Rai...
1367
01:08:20,388 --> 01:08:21,890
He raised me.
1368
01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:27,696
Jimmy. Jimmy. Uncle Jimmy.
1369
01:08:28,930 --> 01:08:30,198
Jiminy Cricket.
1370
01:08:47,415 --> 01:08:50,552
I am not in love
1371
01:08:53,822 --> 01:08:57,526
But I'm open to persuasion
1372
01:09:00,962 --> 01:09:02,498
East or west
1373
01:09:03,999 --> 01:09:05,667
Where's the best
1374
01:09:07,135 --> 01:09:09,938
For romancing?
1375
01:09:13,509 --> 01:09:15,677
With a friend
1376
01:09:16,011 --> 01:09:17,479
I can smile
1377
01:09:18,747 --> 01:09:21,717
But with a lover
I can hold my head back
1378
01:09:21,817 --> 01:09:24,686
And really laugh, really laugh
1379
01:09:28,657 --> 01:09:30,526
Thank you
1380
01:09:31,459 --> 01:09:32,728
This is bullshit.
1381
01:09:32,828 --> 01:09:34,796
No. I'm sorry. Screw her.
1382
01:09:34,896 --> 01:09:35,897
Come on, Luce.
1383
01:09:35,997 --> 01:09:38,466
No, don't. She has made a
business out of persecuting me,
1384
01:09:38,567 --> 01:09:40,669
and I'm supposed to sit here
at my father's funeral
1385
01:09:40,769 --> 01:09:42,804
and watch her fuck-sing
at Samantha?
1386
01:09:42,904 --> 01:09:43,939
Screw that.
1387
01:09:47,876 --> 01:09:49,010
Jeez, Luce!
1388
01:09:50,746 --> 01:09:52,781
What is wrong with this family?
1389
01:09:53,414 --> 01:09:54,650
Wow.
1390
01:09:55,083 --> 01:09:57,485
I hadn't heard Alice sing
since you were a baby.
1391
01:10:00,088 --> 01:10:02,057
She had a little trouble
with the high notes.
1392
01:10:02,924 --> 01:10:05,126
Is it too much to ask
that we bury my grandfather
1393
01:10:05,226 --> 01:10:07,195
with a little honor and dignity?
1394
01:10:08,530 --> 01:10:10,566
I think it is, sweetie, yeah.
1395
01:10:12,768 --> 01:10:14,936
You all know
how I felt about Ed.
1396
01:10:16,437 --> 01:10:18,607
He was somebody
I considered to be
1397
01:10:18,707 --> 01:10:21,276
a very close personal friend.
1398
01:10:21,610 --> 01:10:25,046
I have here
his last will and testament.
1399
01:10:27,749 --> 01:10:30,919
He leaves his house
at 132 Rolling Drive
1400
01:10:31,587 --> 01:10:33,889
to his beloved wife, Charlotte.
1401
01:10:34,923 --> 01:10:38,994
He leaves $1,000 cash
to Kate for expenses.
1402
01:10:39,795 --> 01:10:41,697
He also left a videotape
1403
01:10:42,163 --> 01:10:44,065
that he instructed me
to play for you.
1404
01:10:45,166 --> 01:10:46,635
What about his money?
1405
01:10:46,735 --> 01:10:49,771
Uh, he had no other assets.
I'm sorry.
1406
01:10:50,639 --> 01:10:51,907
You're sorry?
1407
01:10:52,708 --> 01:10:55,310
Hello, everybody. Surprise!
1408
01:11:00,015 --> 01:11:01,950
Before I leave,
I just want to say goodbye
1409
01:11:02,050 --> 01:11:05,153
and say a few
other things as well.
1410
01:11:06,622 --> 01:11:07,956
First, I'm not a salesman.
1411
01:11:08,056 --> 01:11:11,426
Hell, I couldn't sell
nose plugs to a proctologist.
1412
01:11:11,526 --> 01:11:13,361
I never did a day's work
in my life.
1413
01:11:13,461 --> 01:11:14,930
I never knew how to do anything,
1414
01:11:15,030 --> 01:11:17,265
except a little acting maybe.
1415
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:21,069
That's where my Danny boy
got it from.
1416
01:11:22,337 --> 01:11:26,274
There's something stuck
to my tongue, too.
1417
01:11:28,243 --> 01:11:32,213
Of course, Jerry was the one
with the film career.
1418
01:11:33,514 --> 01:11:35,283
What I'm trying
to tell you is...
1419
01:11:37,352 --> 01:11:39,054
There were three of you.
1420
01:11:39,254 --> 01:11:40,889
He always forgets me.
1421
01:11:41,489 --> 01:11:43,324
One in Rhode Island,
1422
01:11:43,925 --> 01:11:47,963
one in Mexico,
and one in South Carolina.
1423
01:11:49,998 --> 01:11:54,636
If you think raising three
families is a lot of work,
1424
01:11:54,736 --> 01:11:58,206
you try doing it without letting
them find out about each other.
1425
01:11:59,207 --> 01:12:00,541
Oh, that's a killer.
1426
01:12:01,009 --> 01:12:03,211
Talk about leaking money.
1427
01:12:04,179 --> 01:12:06,648
Oh, when I was 20,
1428
01:12:06,748 --> 01:12:09,718
I inherited millions,
1429
01:12:09,818 --> 01:12:13,922
and now I'm up
to my prostate in debt.
1430
01:12:14,022 --> 01:12:17,258
It was a crazy life,
1431
01:12:18,794 --> 01:12:20,128
but I loved it
1432
01:12:21,329 --> 01:12:23,732
because I love
my three wonderful wives
1433
01:12:23,932 --> 01:12:25,233
and my nine precious...
1434
01:12:25,333 --> 01:12:26,835
11.
1435
01:12:27,268 --> 01:12:28,269
11?
1436
01:12:31,673 --> 01:12:34,743
Eleven children? My God.
1437
01:12:34,843 --> 01:12:36,978
No wonder I couldn't get
your names straight.
1438
01:12:37,612 --> 01:12:39,580
Anyway, I've had a great life.
1439
01:12:41,082 --> 01:12:42,417
A full life.
1440
01:12:43,618 --> 01:12:45,120
Three full lives.
1441
01:12:45,687 --> 01:12:47,555
You should all be so lucky.
1442
01:12:47,889 --> 01:12:50,591
Katie Collins,
I'd like you to find
1443
01:12:50,692 --> 01:12:53,128
my other two families
1444
01:12:53,762 --> 01:12:58,166
and inform them of their loss.
1445
01:12:59,935 --> 01:13:04,205
Remember, I was just as big a part
of their families as I was of yours.
1446
01:13:05,473 --> 01:13:08,309
If I've learned anything,
it's to be true to yourself.
1447
01:13:09,110 --> 01:13:10,311
Look it.
1448
01:13:11,146 --> 01:13:12,247
He clocked them.
1449
01:13:12,814 --> 01:13:14,850
All the way from the grave.
1450
01:13:15,951 --> 01:13:18,319
All this time, I thought
you were his favorite.
1451
01:13:21,356 --> 01:13:23,725
Well, I mean, you were
his favorite one of us.
1452
01:13:24,259 --> 01:13:26,728
But we could have been
his second-favorite family.
1453
01:13:28,964 --> 01:13:30,732
I left something in the...
1454
01:13:33,534 --> 01:13:35,403
We could have been his third.
1455
01:13:40,909 --> 01:13:42,811
Congratulations
on the thousand bucks.
1456
01:13:44,279 --> 01:13:45,413
Thanks.
1457
01:13:52,988 --> 01:13:55,390
What makes you think they
know what they're doing?
1458
01:13:56,424 --> 01:13:59,094
This is actually the kind
of stuff they're good at.
1459
01:14:03,198 --> 01:14:05,100
Maybe we should watch
from over there.
1460
01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:06,234
Yeah.
1461
01:14:25,720 --> 01:14:27,222
I never knew.
1462
01:14:28,289 --> 01:14:29,858
None of us did.
1463
01:14:30,926 --> 01:14:32,427
No. I mean, I knew your family
1464
01:14:32,527 --> 01:14:34,796
was, you know... A little...
1465
01:14:37,365 --> 01:14:39,434
But I had no idea.
1466
01:14:45,941 --> 01:14:47,608
You know, Sam, I think
1467
01:14:47,708 --> 01:14:49,210
I'll catch up with you later.
1468
01:14:49,310 --> 01:14:51,646
I'm gonna have a word
with my brother there.
1469
01:14:51,746 --> 01:14:52,948
Okay.
1470
01:15:00,555 --> 01:15:02,123
Dad, a little assistance.
1471
01:15:02,657 --> 01:15:03,992
Listen, guys...
1472
01:15:06,661 --> 01:15:08,496
My pop never told me...
1473
01:15:10,431 --> 01:15:12,167
He never told me...
1474
01:15:15,403 --> 01:15:16,905
How much he... Don't.
1475
01:15:17,672 --> 01:15:18,773
What?
1476
01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:20,842
You were gonna say the "L" word.
1477
01:15:21,076 --> 01:15:22,944
I just want you to know...
1478
01:15:23,044 --> 01:15:24,946
Dad, we know how you feel.
1479
01:15:25,513 --> 01:15:27,082
Don't cheapen it with words.
1480
01:15:28,716 --> 01:15:29,985
I don't want to be like him.
1481
01:15:30,285 --> 01:15:32,153
So leave us better instructions.
1482
01:15:34,089 --> 01:15:36,091
Now, could you push?
1483
01:15:39,427 --> 01:15:40,295
I love you, guys.
1484
01:15:40,395 --> 01:15:41,296
Dad! Dad!
1485
01:15:41,396 --> 01:15:43,264
I know. It felt weird,
but I did it.
1486
01:15:44,900 --> 01:15:46,167
The fuse!
1487
01:15:49,570 --> 01:15:50,570
Oh, great.
1488
01:15:51,739 --> 01:15:53,942
No worries. We came prepared.
1489
01:15:59,714 --> 01:16:01,182
Oh, great.
1490
01:16:05,320 --> 01:16:08,556
Hey, do you remember
Harry Barnes?
1491
01:16:09,324 --> 01:16:10,902
Don't give me crap about that.
No, no, no...
1492
01:16:10,926 --> 01:16:12,793
I'm not in the mood.
I don't want to...
1493
01:16:12,894 --> 01:16:14,495
I'm not giving you
crap about it.
1494
01:16:14,595 --> 01:16:15,696
You remember him, right?
1495
01:16:15,796 --> 01:16:17,565
How could I forget him?
He tortured you.
1496
01:16:17,665 --> 01:16:19,543
No, I know. "Hey, here comes
peanut butter boy..."
1497
01:16:19,567 --> 01:16:23,138
Or crunchy-munchy face
or roasted-toasted...
1498
01:16:23,972 --> 01:16:26,174
Yeah, I know.
I just... I wanted...
1499
01:16:26,341 --> 01:16:27,442
Well, what?
1500
01:16:27,842 --> 01:16:29,144
I just wanted to thank you.
1501
01:16:29,244 --> 01:16:30,946
I just want to
thank you for that.
1502
01:16:31,846 --> 01:16:33,648
Thank you for looking after us,
1503
01:16:35,316 --> 01:16:36,651
protecting us.
1504
01:16:37,953 --> 01:16:39,254
Really.
1505
01:16:46,727 --> 01:16:48,229
He had a glass jaw.
1506
01:16:49,764 --> 01:16:51,232
What? He did.
1507
01:16:51,332 --> 01:16:52,433
Glass jaw.
1508
01:16:52,533 --> 01:16:53,701
He did.
1509
01:16:53,801 --> 01:16:55,103
You clobbered that kid.
1510
01:16:55,203 --> 01:16:56,204
No.
1511
01:16:56,304 --> 01:16:57,738
No, no, no. Yes. You had
1512
01:16:57,838 --> 01:17:00,108
an unbelievable
right hand, Alice.
1513
01:17:00,608 --> 01:17:02,077
Alice, please.
1514
01:17:02,277 --> 01:17:03,711
You dropped that boy.
1515
01:17:04,045 --> 01:17:05,346
You did. You...
1516
01:17:07,615 --> 01:17:09,050
Ow. That...
1517
01:17:09,250 --> 01:17:10,251
Ow!
1518
01:17:13,021 --> 01:17:14,089
I hope you hurt yourself.
1519
01:17:14,189 --> 01:17:15,656
That really hurt.
1520
01:17:17,993 --> 01:17:19,594
I can't remem...
1521
01:17:19,694 --> 01:17:21,296
When was the last time
1522
01:17:21,396 --> 01:17:23,564
that the two of us just
hung out like this?
1523
01:17:23,664 --> 01:17:25,333
I can't remember.
1524
01:17:30,538 --> 01:17:32,307
I feel like...
Are we forgetting something?
1525
01:17:33,208 --> 01:17:34,208
No.
1526
01:17:34,875 --> 01:17:36,011
My glasses,
1527
01:17:36,411 --> 01:17:37,412
my things.
1528
01:17:37,512 --> 01:17:38,513
One joint.
1529
01:17:39,047 --> 01:17:40,281
Funeral.
1530
01:17:40,381 --> 01:17:41,381
Dad.
1531
01:17:41,449 --> 01:17:42,450
Fuck!
1532
01:17:53,261 --> 01:17:54,929
Lucy...
1533
01:17:55,030 --> 01:17:57,098
I think you owe your sister
a big apology.
1534
01:17:58,366 --> 01:17:59,967
I don't have a sister.
1535
01:18:08,576 --> 01:18:10,178
Did we miss anything?
1536
01:18:10,978 --> 01:18:12,547
There's nothing left to say.
1537
01:18:14,449 --> 01:18:16,084
He ended it all.
1538
01:18:19,320 --> 01:18:21,289
Well, let me see
what you got here.
1539
01:18:22,857 --> 01:18:24,625
You want a Twizzler? You sure?
1540
01:18:24,725 --> 01:18:26,061
Mmm-hmm.
1541
01:18:28,329 --> 01:18:30,631
I can remember the day
that you were born.
1542
01:18:31,932 --> 01:18:34,102
I can. I remember
the doctor coming in
1543
01:18:34,202 --> 01:18:35,636
and saying, "It's a girl."
1544
01:18:37,172 --> 01:18:40,141
I thought, "Finally,
a baby sister."
1545
01:18:41,209 --> 01:18:43,178
I'm gonna have a friend
for the rest of my life."
1546
01:18:44,579 --> 01:18:45,680
Friend?
1547
01:18:49,684 --> 01:18:51,919
You've been making me
feel bad about myself
1548
01:18:52,019 --> 01:18:54,155
for the past 15 years.
1549
01:18:55,223 --> 01:18:58,526
I know. It wasn't about you.
1550
01:18:59,427 --> 01:19:02,063
Oh, I was there.
It was all about me.
1551
01:19:04,399 --> 01:19:07,602
Well, maybe I thought
I was helping you.
1552
01:19:08,103 --> 01:19:09,504
Maybe you didn't think.
1553
01:19:14,909 --> 01:19:16,344
All right.
1554
01:19:19,814 --> 01:19:22,483
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lucy.
1555
01:19:23,651 --> 01:19:25,186
I'm so sorry.
1556
01:19:26,854 --> 01:19:28,189
For what?
1557
01:19:29,224 --> 01:19:30,691
For not being there for you,
1558
01:19:32,227 --> 01:19:34,862
for not being on your side.
1559
01:19:34,962 --> 01:19:37,332
That's... I wasn't on your side.
1560
01:19:40,034 --> 01:19:41,502
Yeah. Well...
1561
01:19:51,579 --> 01:19:52,713
Dad?
1562
01:19:52,813 --> 01:19:54,282
You ready, sweetie?
1563
01:19:54,382 --> 01:19:55,383
No.
1564
01:19:56,617 --> 01:19:58,486
There's a lot
of good stuff here.
1565
01:19:59,420 --> 01:20:02,089
You know, just maybe
skip the part
1566
01:20:02,190 --> 01:20:04,192
about him being
a salesman, you know.
1567
01:20:05,560 --> 01:20:06,560
You ready?
1568
01:20:06,594 --> 01:20:07,762
No.
1569
01:20:07,862 --> 01:20:10,798
Uh, everybody. Can we gather?
1570
01:20:11,399 --> 01:20:14,135
Katie's going to honor
what's left of our father
1571
01:20:14,235 --> 01:20:15,870
with a eulogy.
1572
01:20:16,237 --> 01:20:17,805
Dad, lighter.
1573
01:20:18,406 --> 01:20:20,675
Be careful, guys.
I love this lighter.
1574
01:20:23,544 --> 01:20:25,613
We don't have a bagpipe player.
1575
01:20:25,713 --> 01:20:26,814
We know the words.
1576
01:20:40,595 --> 01:20:43,097
How many laws you suppose
we're breaking here?
1577
01:20:43,198 --> 01:20:45,233
Yeah, I should be
preparing a defense.
1578
01:20:50,205 --> 01:20:52,473
Um... We have gathered
here today
1579
01:20:52,873 --> 01:20:58,746
to honor my, uh,
grandfather, Edmund Collins.
1580
01:20:58,913 --> 01:21:00,248
Shut it.
1581
01:21:03,484 --> 01:21:06,354
Edmund was more
than just a great father.
1582
01:21:07,388 --> 01:21:09,990
He was a great... Guy.
1583
01:21:10,291 --> 01:21:12,059
Use your aim, guys.
1584
01:21:12,527 --> 01:21:15,029
Grandpa had the playful habit
1585
01:21:15,129 --> 01:21:17,798
of showering us with
unusual nicknames.
1586
01:21:19,400 --> 01:21:22,537
Grandpa protected us
while he was off...
1587
01:21:25,606 --> 01:21:29,444
And even though
he wasn't always around,
1588
01:21:30,144 --> 01:21:31,879
let's face it,
more than anything,
1589
01:21:31,979 --> 01:21:34,215
my grandfather was a family man.
1590
01:21:36,884 --> 01:21:38,085
Sorry.
1591
01:21:42,457 --> 01:21:44,359
Move me over there.
1592
01:21:46,461 --> 01:21:48,529
Ha, ha, ha. What's so funny?
1593
01:21:49,163 --> 01:21:50,698
Your father's dead.
1594
01:21:52,267 --> 01:21:54,269
Maybe he wasn't the man
we all thought he was,
1595
01:21:54,369 --> 01:21:56,404
but he's the reason
we're all here.
1596
01:21:56,504 --> 01:21:59,307
So... Go ahead and laugh.
1597
01:22:01,809 --> 01:22:03,244
He made me laugh.
1598
01:22:04,645 --> 01:22:05,980
Just remember,
1599
01:22:06,080 --> 01:22:07,582
this is the last chance you have
1600
01:22:07,682 --> 01:22:09,384
to say goodbye to your father.
1601
01:22:10,184 --> 01:22:11,719
Katie, I gave you a job to do.
1602
01:22:12,653 --> 01:22:14,054
Get over here.
1603
01:22:14,154 --> 01:22:15,690
And just speak from your heart.
1604
01:22:19,059 --> 01:22:20,728
All right, Katie.
1605
01:22:42,650 --> 01:22:44,552
"Did you really leave me again?"
1606
01:22:46,454 --> 01:22:49,023
"After all the seasons
I spent waiting,
1607
01:22:50,190 --> 01:22:52,259
"watching out the window,
1608
01:22:53,093 --> 01:22:54,962
"listening at the door,
1609
01:22:55,630 --> 01:22:57,898
"waiting for the news
of your return,
1610
01:22:58,633 --> 01:23:00,468
"for the news that you realized"
1611
01:23:00,568 --> 01:23:02,870
"that someone important
was waiting for you?"
1612
01:23:05,373 --> 01:23:07,542
"A whole lifetime
I've been waiting.
1613
01:23:08,976 --> 01:23:11,479
"I can't believe
you're not coming back."
1614
01:23:12,780 --> 01:23:15,750
"I can't believe I'm
supposed to stop waiting."
1615
01:23:17,352 --> 01:23:19,320
"I can't believe
you left me again."
1616
01:23:29,797 --> 01:23:32,400
Grandpa didn't leave
because of you.
1617
01:23:32,767 --> 01:23:35,736
It was because of you
that he kept coming back.
1618
01:23:37,204 --> 01:23:38,906
I hope you all realize that.
1619
01:23:48,015 --> 01:23:49,584
Nice.
1620
01:24:01,362 --> 01:24:04,331
Papa was a rolling stone
1621
01:24:05,700 --> 01:24:09,437
Wherever he laid his hat
was his home
1622
01:24:10,037 --> 01:24:11,639
And when he died
1623
01:24:12,172 --> 01:24:13,708
All he left...
1624
01:24:39,934 --> 01:24:43,738
So, after it stopped
raining Grandpa,
1625
01:24:44,939 --> 01:24:46,707
I caught a ride here.
1626
01:24:48,242 --> 01:24:50,711
I'm so honored and touched.
1627
01:24:50,811 --> 01:24:52,813
Thank you for
sharing that with me.
1628
01:24:53,080 --> 01:24:54,415
I'm sorry.
1629
01:24:54,515 --> 01:24:56,216
I had no idea.
1630
01:24:56,751 --> 01:24:59,319
No wonder Edmund
was gone so often.
1631
01:24:59,620 --> 01:25:01,789
It's hard to believe.
It really is.
1632
01:25:05,259 --> 01:25:07,027
Poor Barbara.
1633
01:25:09,329 --> 01:25:10,698
What do you mean?
1634
01:25:10,798 --> 01:25:12,533
I don't know what to say.
1635
01:25:14,001 --> 01:25:15,369
You're not Barbara?
1636
01:25:15,470 --> 01:25:19,206
Edmund was the best
neighbor I ever had.
1637
01:25:38,025 --> 01:25:39,527
How'd it go?
1638
01:25:39,860 --> 01:25:40,895
Oh...
1639
01:25:43,030 --> 01:25:44,799
Pretty well, I guess.
1640
01:25:47,334 --> 01:25:50,838
I was starting to think maybe you
ducked out the back on me or something.
1641
01:26:17,498 --> 01:26:19,233
Wait. Stop the car for a second.
1642
01:26:32,212 --> 01:26:33,981
I'll explain on the way.
1643
01:27:12,186 --> 01:27:17,091
"This tape will explain
what this note cannot."
1644
01:27:27,968 --> 01:27:29,904
"Vag... In...
1645
01:27:30,370 --> 01:27:32,206
A... Town."
1646
01:27:32,973 --> 01:27:34,308
What's a vag?
1647
01:28:24,825 --> 01:28:28,629
So, I think
that brings us to the toasts,
1648
01:28:29,163 --> 01:28:31,098
and I think we should
toast my sister
1649
01:28:31,632 --> 01:28:33,668
and my new sister-in-law.
1650
01:28:34,034 --> 01:28:37,838
So I think the lovely
and articulate Simon
1651
01:28:37,938 --> 01:28:39,974
will do the honors, right?
1652
01:28:40,074 --> 01:28:41,642
Big Skip.
1653
01:28:41,742 --> 01:28:43,477
Big Skip.
Well, come and prove
1654
01:28:48,348 --> 01:28:50,384
Thank you. Thank you.
1655
01:28:50,484 --> 01:28:52,419
Well, here they are.
1656
01:28:53,153 --> 01:28:54,689
We're here for these
two lovely ladies
1657
01:28:54,789 --> 01:28:57,124
on this momentous occasion.
1658
01:28:58,425 --> 01:29:01,028
And we're all happy for them.
1659
01:29:01,561 --> 01:29:04,999
Oh. Oh, I have a perfect joke
for tonight. Yes, I do.
1660
01:29:05,099 --> 01:29:06,734
It's not dirty.
It's not a dirty joke!
1661
01:29:06,834 --> 01:29:09,003
It's not a dirty joke.
Just let people have...
1662
01:29:10,537 --> 01:29:12,206
It's a simple joke.
1663
01:29:12,306 --> 01:29:15,109
These two gym teachers
walk into a hardware store...
1664
01:29:15,209 --> 01:29:16,476
That's it. All right.
111062
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.