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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,015 --> 00:00:02,015 Previously on iZombie. 2 00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:03,446 You're prosecuting Weckler? 3 00:00:03,519 --> 00:00:05,863 He confessed even though you didn't have much hard evidence. 4 00:00:05,865 --> 00:00:06,734 You haven't heard? 5 00:00:06,735 --> 00:00:09,824 James Weckler hanged himself in his cell this morning. 6 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:11,473 Any idea who's going to be in charge of the 7 00:00:11,474 --> 00:00:13,377 world's only zombie military force now? 8 00:00:13,401 --> 00:00:16,032 Chase Graves, Vivian's brother-in-law, is gonna to take the reins. 9 00:00:16,033 --> 00:00:17,199 Sir! Yes, sir. 10 00:00:18,002 --> 00:00:19,451 After you would beat me, 11 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:20,669 I'd visit this well. 12 00:00:20,671 --> 00:00:21,920 Wish you'd drop dead. 13 00:00:22,257 --> 00:00:24,294 Harley and his people are targeting zombies. 14 00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:28,702 I landed us an invite to the zombie truthers meeting tomorrow night. 15 00:00:30,542 --> 00:00:32,542 _ 16 00:00:35,576 --> 00:00:38,923 That, boys and girls, is what we're dealing with. 17 00:00:39,918 --> 00:00:43,246 Those of us sitting in this room are all that's standing between an America we love, 18 00:00:44,234 --> 00:00:45,817 and a zombie-controlled wasteland. 19 00:00:45,819 --> 00:00:47,018 Yes, sir. 20 00:00:47,687 --> 00:00:49,187 Whether they look like this. 21 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,860 - Or this. - God. 22 00:00:52,861 --> 00:00:53,235 Oh, snap. 23 00:00:53,271 --> 00:00:55,527 Or like our honorable mayoral candidate, 24 00:00:56,246 --> 00:00:57,325 a secret zombie. 25 00:00:57,403 --> 00:00:59,247 What makes you think he's a brain eater? 26 00:00:59,666 --> 00:01:00,865 Look at the facts. 27 00:01:01,618 --> 00:01:04,085 My brother worked down in the basement lab at Max Rager. 28 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:06,787 Baracus and all of the other Chaos Killer victims 29 00:01:06,789 --> 00:01:08,789 are being experimented on down in the lab. 30 00:01:08,791 --> 00:01:11,709 Hell, they say as much in interviews. 31 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:14,020 Well, they didn't say they were zombies. 32 00:01:14,278 --> 00:01:18,108 Maybe not. But when me and my brother Harley tried to visit Baracus, 33 00:01:18,186 --> 00:01:21,131 see if he'd take a little involuntary blood pressure test, 34 00:01:21,140 --> 00:01:23,591 he had zombie guards protecting him. 35 00:01:24,659 --> 00:01:26,876 So, they can just pass as normal-looking? 36 00:01:27,313 --> 00:01:28,479 Sure can. 37 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,496 Ask Billy Cook here. 38 00:01:31,211 --> 00:01:33,502 He's the guy you heard on Chuck Burd's show. 39 00:01:33,725 --> 00:01:36,129 He saw it all go down at the Max Rager party. 40 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:40,608 It's true. Everyone that walked in that party 41 00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:42,576 was just a normal person. 42 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,613 But what I saw at the end? 43 00:01:47,116 --> 00:01:49,000 They were all red-eyed monsters. 44 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:50,114 If you're here, 45 00:01:50,369 --> 00:01:52,663 it means that we can tell from what you've posted on the message boards 46 00:01:52,665 --> 00:01:54,384 you're ready to do more than hunker down 47 00:01:54,385 --> 00:01:56,956 and try to merely survive a zombie outbreak. 48 00:01:56,959 --> 00:01:58,509 Right. Yeah. 49 00:01:58,538 --> 00:01:59,671 My brothers and me, 50 00:02:01,214 --> 00:02:03,431 we're all in. We can't do it on our own. 51 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:07,218 We need volunteers to keep tabs on all of our suspected zombies. 52 00:02:08,021 --> 00:02:09,427 Starting with 53 00:02:10,473 --> 00:02:11,445 Tim Addis. 54 00:02:12,025 --> 00:02:13,140 I'll do it. 55 00:02:13,142 --> 00:02:14,558 Here you go, Quick Draw. 56 00:02:16,062 --> 00:02:17,945 - Sandy Coleman. - I'll take that. 57 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:21,250 So, yeah... 58 00:02:21,547 --> 00:02:23,317 The Scratching Post is under new management. 59 00:02:23,914 --> 00:02:25,465 Now, it's likely some of you heard 60 00:02:25,466 --> 00:02:27,957 how a couple members of the old regime were, um, 61 00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,574 terminated without notice. But, uh, 62 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:31,742 let me tell you this, 63 00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:35,919 as long as you keep this operation as clean and tight as this roll up, 64 00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:37,086 you will be fine. 65 00:02:37,125 --> 00:02:38,805 Now, when I'm off attending other business, 66 00:02:38,807 --> 00:02:40,923 Don E. here is my guy. 67 00:02:40,925 --> 00:02:42,425 What he says goes. 68 00:02:44,262 --> 00:02:45,645 Let's go make some money. 69 00:02:46,264 --> 00:02:49,148 Money, people! Let's make it! 70 00:02:50,318 --> 00:02:51,484 Don E... 71 00:02:56,241 --> 00:02:57,940 I'm kind of his guy. 72 00:02:58,803 --> 00:02:59,969 Uh-huh. 73 00:03:00,775 --> 00:03:02,945 I need you to keep this burner somewhere safe. 74 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,781 I need to be able to reach you 24/7. 75 00:03:04,783 --> 00:03:08,084 Also, our new product is finally ready. 76 00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:11,788 This has been soaking for 20 days. 77 00:03:12,841 --> 00:03:15,842 That's twice as long as Ravi's recipe calls for. 78 00:03:16,511 --> 00:03:17,794 I need you 79 00:03:19,881 --> 00:03:21,214 to take it for a trial run. 80 00:03:21,216 --> 00:03:23,799 I'm not sure that's the best use of my time. 81 00:03:23,801 --> 00:03:24,718 I'll do it. 82 00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:28,721 - Fine. - What is it? 83 00:03:29,157 --> 00:03:32,809 This blue juice makes zombie visions longer and more intense. 84 00:03:32,811 --> 00:03:35,812 And if all goes according to plan, it's going to make us a lot of money. 85 00:03:37,449 --> 00:03:40,316 Our test brain belonged to 94-year-old Hoyt Carroll, 86 00:03:40,318 --> 00:03:43,119 a World War II waist gunner and noted ladies' man. 87 00:03:43,121 --> 00:03:44,954 Ladies' man. Right on. 88 00:03:44,956 --> 00:03:46,539 I need to know how long the visions last. 89 00:03:46,541 --> 00:03:49,031 And how soon they start, post-ingestion. 90 00:03:51,246 --> 00:03:53,746 That's, uh, after you eat it. 91 00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:58,334 Okay, I need all you volunteers to track your zombies' comings and goings 92 00:03:58,336 --> 00:03:59,719 and report back to me. 93 00:03:59,882 --> 00:04:01,504 And what are you gonna do with that info? 94 00:04:01,764 --> 00:04:03,172 Something that can't be ignored. 95 00:04:04,426 --> 00:04:05,641 Like what? 96 00:04:05,643 --> 00:04:07,009 Capture a zombie, 97 00:04:07,298 --> 00:04:10,015 starve it, broadcast it on a live stream, 98 00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,733 and let the whole world see the monster it becomes. 99 00:04:12,734 --> 00:04:14,434 - Right. - Whoo! 100 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,760 _ 101 00:04:17,761 --> 00:04:19,761 _ 102 00:04:19,762 --> 00:04:21,762 _ 103 00:04:21,763 --> 00:04:23,763 _ 104 00:04:24,441 --> 00:04:25,764 _ 105 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,521 _ 106 00:04:27,522 --> 00:04:29,522 _ 107 00:04:29,994 --> 00:04:31,539 _ 108 00:04:31,540 --> 00:04:33,540 _ 109 00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:37,706 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com 110 00:04:37,707 --> 00:04:39,707 _ 111 00:04:40,962 --> 00:04:42,178 Excuse me. 112 00:04:42,413 --> 00:04:45,773 I'm sorry, but I didn't know I was signing up for a kidnapping. 113 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,541 Would you grow a pair, Billy? 114 00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:51,417 We are talking about the survival of the human race here! 115 00:04:51,418 --> 00:04:52,772 Perhaps I can help. 116 00:04:54,893 --> 00:04:56,559 My name is Ravi Chakrabarti. 117 00:04:56,561 --> 00:04:58,060 I work for the police. 118 00:04:58,884 --> 00:05:00,181 Allow me to explain. 119 00:05:01,316 --> 00:05:02,532 Yeah, you do that. 120 00:05:02,926 --> 00:05:04,259 I'm a medical examiner. 121 00:05:05,173 --> 00:05:07,424 I used to work for the CDC, but was fired 122 00:05:07,489 --> 00:05:10,740 for taking the possibility of a zombie apocalypse seriously. 123 00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,742 I am on your side. 124 00:05:13,325 --> 00:05:14,374 What do you know about 'em? 125 00:05:14,673 --> 00:05:17,580 They've existed in Seattle since the Boat Party Massacre. 126 00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:20,466 I examined several dead ones. 127 00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:22,552 I found brains in their digestive tracts 128 00:05:22,554 --> 00:05:24,083 and something under their fingernails. 129 00:05:24,084 --> 00:05:27,673 A substance which makes a zombie's scratch highly contagious. 130 00:05:28,251 --> 00:05:30,393 Which means trying to abduct one of them 131 00:05:30,395 --> 00:05:33,679 could start the very apocalypse we are trying to prevent. 132 00:05:34,232 --> 00:05:35,314 You said you could help. 133 00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:38,267 I'm close to developing a vaccine. 134 00:05:38,953 --> 00:05:41,320 One that will protect humans from the zombie contagion. 135 00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:43,105 How close? 136 00:05:43,775 --> 00:05:46,526 Like, a few weeks, at most. 137 00:05:47,445 --> 00:05:50,112 According to Google, Dr. Chakrabarti 138 00:05:50,114 --> 00:05:52,331 did, in fact, work for the CDC. 139 00:05:52,773 --> 00:05:53,989 He is who he says he is. 140 00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:56,118 Okay. 141 00:05:57,172 --> 00:05:59,288 We start surveilling all known zombies, 142 00:05:59,987 --> 00:06:02,291 but no contact while the doctor works on the vaccine. 143 00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:10,183 ETA 15 minutes? Ugh. 144 00:06:16,307 --> 00:06:17,557 Hey, Chakrabarti! 145 00:06:19,887 --> 00:06:21,086 What's up, Doc? 146 00:06:22,313 --> 00:06:24,614 Good work putting the brakes on the kidnapping talk. 147 00:06:24,671 --> 00:06:26,148 I'm Rachel, by the way. 148 00:06:26,484 --> 00:06:27,900 Ravi. 149 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,903 Do you need a lift? I'm faster than Uber. 150 00:06:31,623 --> 00:06:33,289 Sure. Thank you. 151 00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:34,767 I'm just over there. 152 00:06:38,496 --> 00:06:40,880 Actually, their plan makes a lot of sense. 153 00:06:41,466 --> 00:06:42,798 It's just, uh, premature. 154 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,501 Kidnapping? That's not why I showed up to this thing. 155 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,155 Well, what brought you here? 156 00:06:47,357 --> 00:06:48,452 I'm a photographer. 157 00:06:48,782 --> 00:06:50,127 I want to shoot a zombie. 158 00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,592 I've already got a Nessie and a Sasquatch. 159 00:06:52,594 --> 00:06:53,093 Oh. 160 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,513 I thought this was my ride. 161 00:06:59,017 --> 00:07:01,183 Nope. This is. 162 00:07:01,901 --> 00:07:05,289 You encounter a beautiful elfin creature, 163 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,441 who offers to whisk you away on her steed. 164 00:07:08,693 --> 00:07:09,909 What do you do? 165 00:07:11,696 --> 00:07:13,195 The elf awaits. 166 00:07:14,415 --> 00:07:16,282 Will you join me, stranger? 167 00:07:17,177 --> 00:07:19,355 Am I strong enough to get up on her horse? 168 00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:20,287 You know you are. 169 00:07:21,256 --> 00:07:23,139 Then, yes, milady. 170 00:07:25,543 --> 00:07:27,510 You mount the horse successfully. 171 00:07:27,605 --> 00:07:29,929 Your compatriots proceed on foot. 172 00:07:30,545 --> 00:07:33,549 After a half-day's journey, you come to a tavern. 173 00:07:34,077 --> 00:07:38,220 Well, if there's anyone more dangerous than a gnome textile merchant inside, 174 00:07:38,222 --> 00:07:39,648 we flee in terror. 175 00:07:39,649 --> 00:07:42,558 We do not flee in terror. 176 00:07:43,068 --> 00:07:45,227 We enter and approach the bar. 177 00:07:46,064 --> 00:07:48,648 An ancient barkeep approaches. 178 00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:50,399 To Queen Larissa! 179 00:07:51,369 --> 00:07:53,069 Giver of life! 180 00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:00,376 Fair warning, strangers, 181 00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:05,331 a Ranger by the name of Longstockings was in here earlier, 182 00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,083 asking about... 183 00:08:09,387 --> 00:08:10,753 Oh, he's choking. 184 00:08:10,755 --> 00:08:12,588 I'll give him ye old Heimlich. 185 00:08:12,590 --> 00:08:14,223 I have a healing potion. 186 00:08:14,258 --> 00:08:17,593 Seriously, Dan. Longstockings was asking about what? 187 00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:19,743 Dan. 188 00:08:19,745 --> 00:08:22,182 I think this might really be happening. 189 00:08:22,517 --> 00:08:23,432 Holy crap. 190 00:08:23,679 --> 00:08:24,678 Who knows CPR? 191 00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:29,103 _ 192 00:08:29,751 --> 00:08:32,334 So, our Harley Johns followers want to kidnap a zombie? 193 00:08:32,336 --> 00:08:34,704 Yes. But, happily, not until I finish 194 00:08:34,706 --> 00:08:37,006 my utterly fictional anti-zombie vaccine. 195 00:08:37,201 --> 00:08:39,508 - Quick thinking. - It only buys us a couple of weeks. 196 00:08:39,643 --> 00:08:41,544 If they're willing to kidnap, they're willing to murder. 197 00:08:41,642 --> 00:08:43,892 Well, they seem like people that would execute a zombie family 198 00:08:43,893 --> 00:08:44,513 without blinking, 199 00:08:44,515 --> 00:08:46,348 but they didn't say anything about the Tuttle-Reid case. 200 00:08:54,058 --> 00:08:57,309 Victim's name is Dan Harbinson, 34. 201 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,813 Uh... 202 00:09:02,283 --> 00:09:03,649 What the hell am I looking at? 203 00:09:04,118 --> 00:09:05,451 Dungeons & Dragons. 204 00:09:05,453 --> 00:09:08,287 The granddaddy of all fantasy role-playing games. 205 00:09:08,482 --> 00:09:10,122 So, the victim has kids? 206 00:09:10,227 --> 00:09:11,323 Adults play it, too. 207 00:09:11,325 --> 00:09:13,209 I bet you were so into this. 208 00:09:14,045 --> 00:09:15,795 Do I look like a nerd? 209 00:09:16,581 --> 00:09:19,381 - Detective. - What you got? 210 00:09:19,613 --> 00:09:22,585 Vic keeled over in the middle of game night after taking a swig of wine. 211 00:09:22,661 --> 00:09:25,004 One of the players called it in at 2:07 a.m. 212 00:09:25,073 --> 00:09:27,306 - The other players still here? - Yeah. This way. 213 00:09:27,571 --> 00:09:29,675 - A couple of them work at the station. - Cops? 214 00:09:29,878 --> 00:09:30,710 Not exactly. 215 00:09:37,151 --> 00:09:39,652 See what I mean? Nerds. 216 00:09:39,866 --> 00:09:42,772 Ah. Finally some friendly faces. 217 00:09:43,055 --> 00:09:44,106 Mind if I get my bag? 218 00:09:44,234 --> 00:09:47,295 Sorry, Jimmy. Everything in there is evidence. Sit. 219 00:09:49,113 --> 00:09:51,580 How often do you all get together for these game nights? 220 00:09:51,582 --> 00:09:55,034 Weekly. Dan's been our DM almost seven years now. 221 00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,012 - DM? - Dungeon Master. 222 00:09:57,705 --> 00:09:59,705 Basically like a referee. 223 00:10:00,105 --> 00:10:02,069 He creates the details in the adventure, 224 00:10:02,070 --> 00:10:04,437 and describes what the players see and hear along the way. 225 00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:07,185 Including the other characters we encounter. 226 00:10:07,186 --> 00:10:08,524 Dragon, diplomat. 227 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:11,303 Dan's final character, a common barkeep. 228 00:10:12,053 --> 00:10:15,114 Toasted the Queen, quaffed mead from the Grail of Eternal Buzzery, 229 00:10:15,116 --> 00:10:16,506 and crossed over the River Styx. 230 00:10:16,507 --> 00:10:18,334 The wine was poisoned. 231 00:10:18,469 --> 00:10:19,607 What type of poison? 232 00:10:19,608 --> 00:10:22,121 An extremely rare one. Gelsemine. 233 00:10:22,251 --> 00:10:25,091 Any of the players could've slipped it into the open wine bottle 234 00:10:25,093 --> 00:10:27,293 while Dan and the others were absorbed by the game. 235 00:10:28,222 --> 00:10:29,794 Those were in his pockets. 236 00:10:32,573 --> 00:10:35,384 I can't believe grown adults play this for hours at a time. 237 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:36,936 Grown nerds. 238 00:10:38,644 --> 00:10:40,861 Mmm. Who's hungry? 239 00:10:58,099 --> 00:11:00,459 Vampire Steve's up first. Ready? 240 00:11:00,589 --> 00:11:02,025 The question is, "Are you?" 241 00:11:03,509 --> 00:11:06,152 Sixty feet away, your first suspect awaits. 242 00:11:06,153 --> 00:11:09,016 A nocturnal creature whose loyalties are in question. 243 00:11:09,017 --> 00:11:10,543 Strength, below average. 244 00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:12,183 Charisma, below average. 245 00:11:12,651 --> 00:11:13,774 What do you do? 246 00:11:13,930 --> 00:11:15,558 I go in and question him. 247 00:11:20,014 --> 00:11:21,180 You coming? 248 00:11:25,503 --> 00:11:26,869 Indeed I am. 249 00:11:28,206 --> 00:11:31,432 It says here your DM made his living playing online poker. 250 00:11:31,433 --> 00:11:33,291 Any idea how much Dan earned? 251 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,000 Master Dan didn't speak of his wealth, 252 00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:38,247 but he must've been doing quite well, indeed. 253 00:11:38,417 --> 00:11:40,249 He bought original cover art 254 00:11:40,251 --> 00:11:43,546 to an Ogden Twiddlyhut and the Valiant Men of Golden Glen. 255 00:11:43,984 --> 00:11:46,706 I've seen those sell for as much as $10,000. 256 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:50,146 You know, that's not listed in our crime scene inventory. 257 00:11:50,147 --> 00:11:52,704 It was hanging above his fireplace last week. 258 00:11:52,705 --> 00:11:54,993 How long have you been playing in Dan's campaign? 259 00:11:54,994 --> 00:11:56,455 Nigh unto seven years. 260 00:11:56,456 --> 00:11:58,934 Why were you all playing first level characters? 261 00:11:58,936 --> 00:12:01,178 We were a party of heroes and legends, 262 00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:04,117 but we were slain last week in the Caverns of Varag. 263 00:12:04,118 --> 00:12:05,387 I know them well. 264 00:12:05,388 --> 00:12:07,874 Danger lurks behind every stalactite. 265 00:12:08,808 --> 00:12:11,614 And how did you come to meet your untimely demise? 266 00:12:13,234 --> 00:12:15,441 Darts dipped in Pit Fiend venom. 267 00:12:15,831 --> 00:12:17,867 Our thief failed to detect a trap. 268 00:12:18,046 --> 00:12:20,705 Your group was pretend-killed by poison last week, 269 00:12:20,706 --> 00:12:24,436 and this week, your dungeon master was real-life-killed by poison. 270 00:12:24,437 --> 00:12:27,773 Even though the Reverend Deodato was wearing his Absorption Stone. 271 00:12:27,774 --> 00:12:30,287 He should've been immune to poison. 272 00:12:30,288 --> 00:12:33,085 Who is Reverend Dodle Doodle? 273 00:12:33,087 --> 00:12:34,450 My 15-level cleric. 274 00:12:34,451 --> 00:12:36,121 Fool! You were in a cavern! 275 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:37,956 Your Absorption Stone would be worthless. 276 00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:39,142 So sayeth you. 277 00:12:39,143 --> 00:12:42,775 An Absorption Stone doesn't work anywhere untouched by the sun. 278 00:12:42,776 --> 00:12:45,264 Uh... Sun Hammer. 279 00:12:50,307 --> 00:12:53,021 Is it safe to say your group of heroes and legends 280 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,154 had grown attached to these old characters? 281 00:12:55,155 --> 00:12:57,910 Not attached enough to murder our friend, if that's what you're asking. 282 00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:00,430 You can't imagine anyone in your group seeking revenge 283 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,215 for Dan killing your characters? 284 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:05,439 Well, I can't read their minds, obviously. 285 00:13:06,096 --> 00:13:08,337 I'd put the odds at one in 100. 286 00:13:14,266 --> 00:13:16,120 Your saving throw fails. 287 00:13:16,261 --> 00:13:17,616 You're all dead. 288 00:13:18,163 --> 00:13:20,266 - My saving roll is a three? - It's called a Sun Hammer! 289 00:13:20,268 --> 00:13:23,436 - Are you on some kind of power trip! - You're such a dick, Dan. 290 00:13:27,024 --> 00:13:28,367 I think we're good here. 291 00:13:28,656 --> 00:13:31,310 We'll call you back in if we need anything more. 292 00:13:36,854 --> 00:13:37,801 What'd you see? 293 00:13:37,802 --> 00:13:41,086 The players all lost their minds when their characters died. 294 00:13:41,093 --> 00:13:43,271 They were in Dan's face, screaming at him. 295 00:13:43,272 --> 00:13:44,907 Who do we go to next? 296 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:48,910 Zoe. 297 00:13:51,386 --> 00:13:55,187 "Time for vision to start after eating brain, five minutes." 298 00:13:55,188 --> 00:13:57,837 "Length of vision, two hours." 299 00:13:58,393 --> 00:14:00,726 Penmanship, poor. 300 00:14:00,821 --> 00:14:02,969 - How was the ride? - Primo. 301 00:14:03,115 --> 00:14:05,035 I was in the middle of a dogfight. 302 00:14:05,036 --> 00:14:08,049 Felt like I was shooting real bullets. Shooting down Nazis. 303 00:14:08,244 --> 00:14:09,895 Damn, man. It was intense. 304 00:14:10,379 --> 00:14:12,860 Later, I'm getting with this French girl, 305 00:14:12,861 --> 00:14:15,821 and she's nonstop into playing Hide the Baguette, so I'm... 306 00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:18,190 Okay. Got it. Got it. 307 00:14:18,615 --> 00:14:21,706 Boys, we're gonna be rich. 308 00:14:23,524 --> 00:14:24,954 I'm gonna go to Shady Plots 309 00:14:24,955 --> 00:14:26,953 and see if there's any promising new stiffs for blue-juicing. 310 00:14:26,954 --> 00:14:30,333 Meantime, you two start hyping our new product. 311 00:14:34,088 --> 00:14:36,542 - You get all that booze put away? - Can do. 312 00:14:53,269 --> 00:14:54,693 Cleared for takeoff. 313 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,989 _ 314 00:15:08,448 --> 00:15:09,814 Oh, no. 315 00:15:14,321 --> 00:15:15,453 Oh... 316 00:15:15,455 --> 00:15:16,621 Hey. 317 00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:19,457 You know that stealing mail is a federal offense, right? 318 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,960 I was hiding mail. 319 00:15:22,097 --> 00:15:24,079 - Why are you... - Opening my hate mail? 320 00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:26,498 Better question, why were you hiding it from me? 321 00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:30,085 Because I'm kind and empathetic. 322 00:15:30,087 --> 00:15:32,470 You know, I used to do all right with girls. 323 00:15:33,090 --> 00:15:34,222 I suppose I can believe that. 324 00:15:34,586 --> 00:15:37,335 The only girls who don't avoid me completely these days 325 00:15:37,398 --> 00:15:38,677 are the ones out at Fillmore-Graves. 326 00:15:38,679 --> 00:15:40,679 And they're zombies, so that doesn't do me much good. 327 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:43,732 I may never be loved or have sex again 328 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:47,152 unless I move to some backwards civilization that doesn't consume news. 329 00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:48,320 Like Pullman. 330 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,487 Oh! 331 00:15:49,605 --> 00:15:50,754 Sick Wazzu burn. 332 00:15:50,941 --> 00:15:52,023 Wazzu? 333 00:15:52,909 --> 00:15:54,159 Washington State? 334 00:15:54,778 --> 00:15:56,828 Share my cultural touchstones! 335 00:15:57,531 --> 00:15:58,913 Ah! Listen to this love letter. 336 00:15:59,494 --> 00:16:01,583 When they make a Chaos Killer TV movie, 337 00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:04,202 I hope you watch it in hell with your pal Ted Bundy. 338 00:16:05,038 --> 00:16:07,005 Wait, you didn't actually kill anyone. 339 00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:09,841 Yeah, and the joke's on them. I'm not pals with Ted Bundy either. 340 00:16:10,239 --> 00:16:13,345 Ah! This one wishes I'd been blown to bits in the Max Rager explosion. 341 00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:16,501 This one wants my future family kidnapped, so I know how it feels. 342 00:16:16,548 --> 00:16:19,384 Enough, Major. Stop torturing yourself! 343 00:16:19,636 --> 00:16:20,719 This one 344 00:16:21,138 --> 00:16:22,771 says, uh, 345 00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:26,474 - I didn't do it. - Really? 346 00:16:27,543 --> 00:16:31,062 "I know how crazy it must be to get a letter like this from a total stranger. 347 00:16:31,326 --> 00:16:33,865 But I was also accused of something I didn't do. 348 00:16:34,153 --> 00:16:37,569 If you ever need a sympathetic ear, I've got two. Shawna." 349 00:16:40,936 --> 00:16:42,290 Monster! 350 00:16:43,052 --> 00:16:45,160 She must've done whatever she was accused of. 351 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,080 Well, she included her phone number. 352 00:16:49,549 --> 00:16:51,166 - Mmm. - And this. 353 00:16:54,421 --> 00:16:55,587 She's cute. 354 00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:01,760 So I read the report you wrote on James Weckler as his prison psychiatrist. 355 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,596 What were you treating him for exactly, Dr. Danforth? 356 00:17:04,784 --> 00:17:06,348 Apparitional hallucinations. 357 00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:09,684 Saw ghosts. Well, a ghost. 358 00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:11,736 Of his deceased wife. 359 00:17:12,572 --> 00:17:14,022 I guess it makes sense he'd 360 00:17:14,386 --> 00:17:16,574 go looking for comfort elsewhere. 361 00:17:17,710 --> 00:17:18,711 How do you mean? 362 00:17:18,795 --> 00:17:21,203 His supposed murder victim was a dominatrix. 363 00:17:21,281 --> 00:17:22,530 James started out as a client. 364 00:17:22,532 --> 00:17:23,948 No way. 365 00:17:24,705 --> 00:17:27,452 James lost all interest in sex after his wife died. 366 00:17:28,128 --> 00:17:30,622 He simply couldn't do anything his wife didn't approve of. 367 00:17:30,624 --> 00:17:32,457 She most certainly would not have approved 368 00:17:32,459 --> 00:17:34,959 of him spending his limited funds on a dominatrix. 369 00:17:37,764 --> 00:17:39,848 Man, this really takes me back. 370 00:17:40,124 --> 00:17:41,466 I didn't know you were into comics. 371 00:17:41,688 --> 00:17:42,849 Just The Flash. 372 00:17:43,546 --> 00:17:46,721 His dad didn't have much faith in him, either. 373 00:17:47,391 --> 00:17:48,523 Aw... 374 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:49,858 I'm messing with you. 375 00:17:50,414 --> 00:17:52,814 He was super-fast and he had a cool name. 376 00:17:58,318 --> 00:17:59,567 Liv, look at this. 377 00:18:00,404 --> 00:18:02,287 The Ogden Twiddlyhut thingy. 378 00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,622 The one missing from the inventory of Dan's apartment. 379 00:18:04,624 --> 00:18:07,208 On sale for $5,000. 380 00:18:13,166 --> 00:18:14,466 Keep going. 381 00:18:15,802 --> 00:18:19,471 When you finish down there, you can take me to second breakfast. 382 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:29,794 Sorry. 383 00:18:29,795 --> 00:18:32,734 Guy needed a moment to say goodbye to his entire comic book collection. 384 00:18:32,902 --> 00:18:35,103 We just had a few more questions. Starting with, 385 00:18:35,105 --> 00:18:37,572 why is Dan's missing cover art here, for sale? 386 00:18:37,733 --> 00:18:39,691 This is the first time Lady Wellin Marsapple, 387 00:18:39,693 --> 00:18:41,576 hero of the Ogden Twiddlyhut series, 388 00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:42,827 has ever appeared in print. 389 00:18:43,666 --> 00:18:46,247 And who says it's missing? I won it off Dan in a bet. 390 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,500 You had five grand to lose in a bet? 391 00:18:48,765 --> 00:18:51,035 Or maybe you didn't bet cash. 392 00:18:51,495 --> 00:18:55,206 Maybe you bet some erotic cosplay involving Halfling feet. 393 00:18:56,877 --> 00:18:58,676 Did you guys talk to Jimmy? 394 00:18:59,126 --> 00:19:01,254 Dan and I hadn't been sleeping together long. 395 00:19:01,264 --> 00:19:03,332 We tried to keep it a secret. But 396 00:19:03,334 --> 00:19:06,718 I think that Jimmy saw a naughty text I sent to Dan. 397 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,386 So, you and Dan? 398 00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:13,752 It's the way he wielded all that power. Oh! It was intoxicating. 399 00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:16,277 Why would Jimmy care if that's how you felt about Dan? 400 00:19:16,516 --> 00:19:18,563 Well, I can tell when a guy's got a crush on me. 401 00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:21,301 Like my character, I'm pretty intuitive. 402 00:19:23,403 --> 00:19:25,119 I wouldn't say I had a crush. 403 00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:27,822 That's funny, given what we found in your bag. 404 00:19:28,595 --> 00:19:31,826 Seeing the sketch pad, Jimmy's eyes dart back and forth. 405 00:19:32,412 --> 00:19:34,412 Guilt etched on his face. 406 00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:38,833 - This is very creative. - Mmm-hmm. 407 00:19:51,264 --> 00:19:53,565 Liv saves against upchucking. 408 00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:58,102 And here's you 409 00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,271 and Zoe. 410 00:20:01,942 --> 00:20:02,650 Yeah. 411 00:20:02,652 --> 00:20:04,777 Did you realize Zoe and Dan were sleeping together? 412 00:20:06,029 --> 00:20:07,638 Were you jealous of Dan? 413 00:20:08,615 --> 00:20:12,667 I wonder how far you'd go to win the object of your obsession. 414 00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:18,091 You wanna talk about obsession? You should check out Diego's back. 415 00:20:19,759 --> 00:20:23,261 How long after you got this did you learn Zoe was sleeping with Dan? 416 00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:24,546 Not long enough. 417 00:20:24,965 --> 00:20:26,130 Steve knew, too. 418 00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:28,266 And he's really into Zoe. 419 00:20:28,539 --> 00:20:29,968 Where did Steve put his tattoo? 420 00:20:30,152 --> 00:20:31,803 It's not about his ink. 421 00:20:31,859 --> 00:20:34,639 It's his whole Boys Don't Cry-era Robert Smith thing. 422 00:20:34,939 --> 00:20:36,858 As he is, so has he ever been. 423 00:20:37,026 --> 00:20:38,943 No. He used to be a blond. 424 00:20:39,513 --> 00:20:40,862 Then he found out Zoe was a Twihard, 425 00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:43,364 and then he became Vampire Steve. 426 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,871 Diego told us you did all this 427 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,207 to get with Zoe. 428 00:20:53,454 --> 00:20:55,326 I came to vampires of my own accord. 429 00:20:55,328 --> 00:20:58,246 It is but one of many interests I happen to share with Zoe. 430 00:20:58,492 --> 00:20:59,557 Name another. 431 00:20:59,916 --> 00:21:01,132 Graphic novels. 432 00:21:01,475 --> 00:21:03,334 Especially those pertaining to vampires. 433 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,470 And yet she chose someone else. 434 00:21:06,172 --> 00:21:07,589 That must have been frustrating. 435 00:21:07,591 --> 00:21:10,425 I think we may yet be joined in holy union. 436 00:21:10,427 --> 00:21:11,593 Good luck with that. 437 00:21:11,758 --> 00:21:13,144 She's polyandrous, 438 00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:15,430 and would only stay married until a hale child is born. 439 00:21:15,432 --> 00:21:18,483 Plus, you'd need to find a unicorn to sacrifice. 440 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,234 You don't know. I could find a unicorn. 441 00:21:20,236 --> 00:21:21,986 I was talking about real life. 442 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:23,855 Oh. 443 00:21:24,031 --> 00:21:25,573 I think we're done here. 444 00:21:26,242 --> 00:21:28,242 Thank you, Steve. You can go. 445 00:21:33,021 --> 00:21:34,349 The veteran detective 446 00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:36,334 closes his notepad in defeat, 447 00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:39,587 as another suspect slips through his fingers. 448 00:21:40,540 --> 00:21:42,707 Any of these guys feel like a murderer to you? 449 00:21:43,044 --> 00:21:45,259 None of them could draw blood from a one-eyed kobold. 450 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,179 Yeah, probably not. 451 00:21:49,466 --> 00:21:51,629 So we should do some more digging. 452 00:21:52,802 --> 00:21:54,018 On a quest! 453 00:21:54,491 --> 00:21:58,523 One that will require a band of eager souls, ready to test their mettle! 454 00:21:58,736 --> 00:22:01,526 Oh, no. You're talking about playing the game, aren't you? 455 00:22:01,912 --> 00:22:03,415 Not just a game, good sir! 456 00:22:05,315 --> 00:22:06,531 A quest! 457 00:22:10,266 --> 00:22:12,266 _ 458 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,827 You each start the campaign with this many gold pieces. 459 00:22:18,665 --> 00:22:19,831 Twenty-seven gold pieces. 460 00:22:20,633 --> 00:22:23,216 I buy a small farm, retire from adventuring. 461 00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:25,837 We've been diddling around for two hours. 462 00:22:25,839 --> 00:22:27,205 We haven't actually done anything. 463 00:22:27,207 --> 00:22:29,924 The creation of characters is an essential part of the game. 464 00:22:29,935 --> 00:22:31,766 The actual point of which is... 465 00:22:31,852 --> 00:22:34,796 Ooh! To trigger a vision to help solve Dungeon Master Dan's murder. 466 00:22:34,914 --> 00:22:37,766 And who might this hirsute stranger be? Introduce yourself. 467 00:22:40,137 --> 00:22:44,472 I am Mosco Bandywax of the Mirkwood Bandywaxes. I'm a Halfling monk. 468 00:22:44,474 --> 00:22:45,640 And you, good sir? 469 00:22:45,818 --> 00:22:48,727 I am Sir Jay Esclaborne, the human paladin. 470 00:22:48,835 --> 00:22:50,895 I don't remember your character earning a knighthood. 471 00:22:51,122 --> 00:22:53,281 Oh, he's not a knight. His first name is 472 00:22:53,395 --> 00:22:54,983 - Sirjay. - Clever. 473 00:22:55,485 --> 00:22:56,284 I'll be watching you. 474 00:22:57,237 --> 00:22:58,453 And, you, madam? 475 00:22:59,823 --> 00:23:03,208 Hi. Uh, Brangelina Darksbane. 476 00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:04,993 Dark elf assassin. 477 00:23:06,747 --> 00:23:08,747 And who might this stout fellow be? 478 00:23:10,300 --> 00:23:12,000 Earl. Dwarf fighter. 479 00:23:12,502 --> 00:23:13,668 Earl. 480 00:23:15,222 --> 00:23:16,838 Your story begins. 481 00:23:17,390 --> 00:23:19,457 Night falls on Astergrove. 482 00:23:20,247 --> 00:23:25,263 A hamlet on the frontier of the human kingdom of Oosterglovia. 483 00:23:25,512 --> 00:23:27,432 You have never seen each other before, 484 00:23:27,434 --> 00:23:31,019 but you find yourselves gathered in the study of Georgie Fogglebottom. 485 00:23:31,526 --> 00:23:33,693 Last wizard east of Gloomy Glen. 486 00:23:34,858 --> 00:23:36,982 You regard each other uncomfortably. 487 00:23:38,829 --> 00:23:40,862 You regard each other uncomfortably. 488 00:23:43,784 --> 00:23:46,918 Anyone know if Gloomy Glen is a person or a place? 489 00:23:46,976 --> 00:23:49,204 Either way, we should steer clear. 490 00:23:49,206 --> 00:23:50,371 Silence. 491 00:23:50,625 --> 00:23:52,707 A door opens in the back of the room, 492 00:23:53,225 --> 00:23:55,692 and in walks a small, unarmed woman 493 00:23:55,929 --> 00:23:57,212 holding a tea cup. 494 00:23:57,881 --> 00:23:59,047 She takes a sip, 495 00:24:00,550 --> 00:24:03,301 sits down, and regards the group. 496 00:24:05,555 --> 00:24:08,022 This was the best I could do? 497 00:24:09,226 --> 00:24:10,391 Very well. 498 00:24:11,011 --> 00:24:14,229 You will kill the Lich of Castle Rommscoddle. 499 00:24:14,231 --> 00:24:15,446 Lich, please! 500 00:24:16,142 --> 00:24:18,366 If you survive, you will bring me his head. 501 00:24:18,985 --> 00:24:21,236 Then, and only then, 502 00:24:21,238 --> 00:24:24,674 will you be showered with treasure befitting your efforts. 503 00:24:25,002 --> 00:24:26,407 Sounds dangerous, Mosco. 504 00:24:27,131 --> 00:24:29,744 Maybe you should go outside and wait on your horse. 505 00:24:29,988 --> 00:24:31,187 What's a lich? 506 00:24:31,467 --> 00:24:33,631 Oh, a lich is a terrible creature. 507 00:24:34,167 --> 00:24:35,967 A member of the undead. 508 00:24:36,253 --> 00:24:37,135 Gross! 509 00:24:37,137 --> 00:24:38,586 Kill it! Kill the undead creature! 510 00:24:38,588 --> 00:24:39,637 Let me get this straight. 511 00:24:39,639 --> 00:24:43,174 So, we can go and find Castle What's-His-Nuts, 512 00:24:44,058 --> 00:24:47,595 fight that thing, come back and we'll get rewarded by this little old lady. 513 00:24:47,597 --> 00:24:49,397 Or we could just 514 00:24:49,399 --> 00:24:52,483 tie up this little old lady, and take what we want now. 515 00:24:52,789 --> 00:24:54,986 Georgie begins to mutter an incantation. 516 00:24:57,227 --> 00:25:00,358 Electricity fires from her hands and strikes Brangelina. 517 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:02,193 I try to dive in front of the lightning bolt. 518 00:25:02,619 --> 00:25:05,413 Not on this day, Ms. Fogglebottom! 519 00:25:05,726 --> 00:25:07,949 The lightning bolt has already struck Brangelina. 520 00:25:07,951 --> 00:25:11,286 And Mosco lands on the ground in front of her, looking foolish. 521 00:25:11,838 --> 00:25:13,588 Brangelina, you take... 522 00:25:15,008 --> 00:25:16,624 Thirty-four points damage. 523 00:25:16,866 --> 00:25:19,055 How many hit points do you have? 524 00:25:20,964 --> 00:25:22,130 Thirty-four. 525 00:25:22,403 --> 00:25:23,798 Well. I'm dead. 526 00:25:23,983 --> 00:25:25,466 Uh, good luck with the lich. 527 00:25:25,468 --> 00:25:28,436 I bid thee, Fellowship of the Dorks, goodnight. 528 00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:30,054 Oh, uh, I bind her wounds, 529 00:25:30,056 --> 00:25:31,973 begin mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 530 00:25:32,475 --> 00:25:33,808 I move toward the light. 531 00:25:33,810 --> 00:25:35,360 Mosco won't give up. 532 00:25:35,559 --> 00:25:37,039 He keeps performing chest compressions, 533 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:40,732 keeps engulfing her mouth with his, breathing his life force into hers! 534 00:25:40,997 --> 00:25:43,318 Live! Live, damn you! 535 00:25:44,621 --> 00:25:46,654 Brangelina's eyes flutter open. 536 00:25:52,078 --> 00:25:55,997 So, what say you, Fellowship of the Dorks? 537 00:25:56,149 --> 00:25:59,050 Do you venture forth and face the lich 538 00:25:59,052 --> 00:26:02,503 or stay and take your chances with me? 539 00:26:07,978 --> 00:26:10,345 You enter the lich's quarters. You hear muttering. 540 00:26:10,347 --> 00:26:13,898 You look up, and you see the lich perched on a giant wooden chandelier. 541 00:26:13,900 --> 00:26:16,017 A fireball comes hurtling down at you. 542 00:26:16,436 --> 00:26:17,568 Not good. 543 00:26:18,571 --> 00:26:20,355 Everyone takes 38 points damage. 544 00:26:20,357 --> 00:26:21,439 I'm dead. 545 00:26:21,441 --> 00:26:22,690 I bind her wounds. 546 00:26:22,692 --> 00:26:24,943 - I begin to... - You're dead, too, Halfling. 547 00:26:25,402 --> 00:26:26,819 Your turn. What do you do? 548 00:26:26,947 --> 00:26:28,162 I swing with my long sword. 549 00:26:28,164 --> 00:26:30,498 At what? The Lich is 10 feet above you. 550 00:26:31,001 --> 00:26:32,250 Well, throw something! 551 00:26:32,252 --> 00:26:34,419 Isn't there a stone somewhere? Don't you have a dagger? 552 00:26:34,421 --> 00:26:35,777 - The dwarf! - Say what? 553 00:26:35,778 --> 00:26:37,622 I throw the dwarf up to the chandelier. 554 00:26:37,624 --> 00:26:38,673 I've got 18 strength. 555 00:26:38,675 --> 00:26:40,375 Does the dwarf allow himself to be thrown? 556 00:26:40,927 --> 00:26:42,093 Yeah, fine. 557 00:26:42,418 --> 00:26:44,462 Sirjay throws Earl up to the chandelier. 558 00:26:45,765 --> 00:26:47,765 He sticks the landing. Earl, what do you do? 559 00:26:47,855 --> 00:26:52,520 I cleave this undead hellspawn in twain with my Ax of the Dwarven Gods. 560 00:26:55,775 --> 00:26:58,393 You hit. Roll for damage. 561 00:26:59,896 --> 00:27:01,112 Booyah! 562 00:27:01,872 --> 00:27:04,983 How you like old Earl now, you damn dirty lich? 563 00:27:04,985 --> 00:27:06,150 Is it dead? 564 00:27:06,786 --> 00:27:08,403 The lich looks badly wounded, 565 00:27:08,405 --> 00:27:09,988 but it launches itself from the chandelier, 566 00:27:09,990 --> 00:27:12,824 and disappears from view as it enters this antechamber. 567 00:27:12,826 --> 00:27:13,922 We give chase! 568 00:27:13,923 --> 00:27:15,743 You go into the chamber, but the lich is gone. 569 00:27:15,904 --> 00:27:17,912 We search the room for secret doors. 570 00:27:20,583 --> 00:27:21,966 Dan? 571 00:27:22,919 --> 00:27:24,552 What the hell is this place? 572 00:27:24,554 --> 00:27:26,421 Has this room always been here? 573 00:27:28,675 --> 00:27:30,675 - What did you see? - A secret door. 574 00:27:31,144 --> 00:27:32,260 In Dan's apartment. 575 00:27:32,429 --> 00:27:33,728 Great, we're done here. 576 00:27:34,481 --> 00:27:35,730 No, we're not. 577 00:27:36,599 --> 00:27:38,516 Where is the lich? 578 00:27:42,605 --> 00:27:47,075 Boy, Georgie Fogglebottom's face when I reached into my bag of holding 579 00:27:47,077 --> 00:27:50,611 and pulled out that lich head, like... Yeah! 580 00:27:50,613 --> 00:27:52,246 What do you think of them apples? 581 00:27:52,324 --> 00:27:53,614 I was there. 582 00:27:53,982 --> 00:27:56,334 I think playing all night might've been a bad idea. 583 00:27:56,660 --> 00:28:00,788 Now that I've leveled up, I get two attacks a round. That's gonna be tight. 584 00:28:01,501 --> 00:28:03,291 Hey, maybe we could have a regular game. 585 00:28:03,468 --> 00:28:05,626 You could save a little Dan brain, eat some every week. 586 00:28:05,957 --> 00:28:08,512 Clive, I saw that suit of armor in my vision. 587 00:28:08,637 --> 00:28:11,516 It means the hidden door to the secret room must be... 588 00:28:13,219 --> 00:28:14,435 There. 589 00:28:26,472 --> 00:28:27,838 Oh, white people... 590 00:28:30,904 --> 00:28:32,787 A computer geek's paradise. 591 00:28:34,491 --> 00:28:35,907 What the hell am I looking at? 592 00:28:36,017 --> 00:28:38,126 "Remote fuel rod system override." 593 00:28:38,128 --> 00:28:39,744 "Leningrad Nuclear Power Plant." 594 00:28:39,746 --> 00:28:41,829 When did you learn to read Russian? 595 00:28:42,152 --> 00:28:43,464 A couple of days ago. 596 00:28:44,153 --> 00:28:46,495 You know Russian, maybe you know passwords. 597 00:28:46,636 --> 00:28:47,802 Let's see. 598 00:28:49,139 --> 00:28:50,304 Apparently not. 599 00:28:56,896 --> 00:28:59,263 I'm gonna tell Devore what we found. 600 00:28:59,849 --> 00:29:01,099 Let's bring Zoe in tomorrow. 601 00:29:01,101 --> 00:29:02,517 See what she knew about this room 602 00:29:02,519 --> 00:29:04,852 and Dan's interest in Russian power plants. 603 00:29:06,322 --> 00:29:07,855 Yeah, I knew about the secret room. 604 00:29:08,102 --> 00:29:09,073 How'd you find it? 605 00:29:09,230 --> 00:29:11,025 I went over to Dan's one day, 606 00:29:11,027 --> 00:29:12,994 heard music coming from behind the wall, 607 00:29:13,097 --> 00:29:15,079 pushed on the bookcase and there it was. 608 00:29:16,866 --> 00:29:18,032 She's done here. 609 00:29:18,034 --> 00:29:19,200 You can go. 610 00:29:22,455 --> 00:29:23,704 We're shutting down the case. 611 00:29:23,991 --> 00:29:25,756 - Why? - The FBI stepped in. 612 00:29:25,789 --> 00:29:27,708 They're chasing the cyber-crime angle. 613 00:29:27,867 --> 00:29:29,961 They think that your victim might have been poisoned 614 00:29:29,963 --> 00:29:32,830 by a Russian agent to stop him from hacking into their system. 615 00:29:32,831 --> 00:29:36,134 You know, that actually makes more sense than any of our suspects. 616 00:29:36,289 --> 00:29:37,583 Let the Feds figure it out. 617 00:29:37,616 --> 00:29:39,145 They put Bozzio on it. 618 00:29:40,523 --> 00:29:41,112 Bozzio? 619 00:29:41,113 --> 00:29:43,411 She was here a minute ago. You must've just missed her. 620 00:30:09,133 --> 00:30:10,301 What you looking for? 621 00:30:13,256 --> 00:30:14,422 You. 622 00:30:16,843 --> 00:30:20,094 You were right about Major Lilywhite not being a mass murderer. 623 00:30:21,097 --> 00:30:23,564 Turns out he was just a mass kidnapper. 624 00:30:26,769 --> 00:30:28,344 I've wanted to talk but, 625 00:30:29,215 --> 00:30:32,941 I figured after leaving a dozen messages, the feeling wasn't mutual. 626 00:30:33,910 --> 00:30:36,027 Didn't seem like much for me to say. 627 00:30:37,614 --> 00:30:38,779 Still doesn't. 628 00:30:41,284 --> 00:30:43,417 Unless you have something new to add. 629 00:30:52,462 --> 00:30:53,628 How about this? 630 00:30:56,216 --> 00:30:58,360 I haven't stopped thinking about you. 631 00:31:00,303 --> 00:31:04,055 I'm absolutely lost without you. 632 00:31:06,693 --> 00:31:08,359 I meant about the case. 633 00:31:15,568 --> 00:31:17,235 My Uber is here. 634 00:31:17,820 --> 00:31:19,904 So, about this new case, uh, 635 00:31:21,074 --> 00:31:22,373 you like anyone for it? 636 00:31:23,626 --> 00:31:25,493 It's my case, Clive. 637 00:31:26,746 --> 00:31:29,664 And I'm afraid I can't trust you with that information. 638 00:31:42,423 --> 00:31:44,227 _ 639 00:31:46,137 --> 00:31:47,553 Thanks for the brain mush. 640 00:31:47,963 --> 00:31:51,391 That is the first time anyone has ever been thanked for that stuff. 641 00:31:51,749 --> 00:31:53,943 I just really want to be myself for Justin tonight. 642 00:31:53,945 --> 00:31:57,246 No prob. I've got a freezer full of Z-rations since I took the cure. 643 00:31:59,049 --> 00:32:00,900 She discards the empty tube, 644 00:32:01,341 --> 00:32:03,612 eager to escape the clutches of the Dungeon Master's brain, 645 00:32:03,613 --> 00:32:05,016 but knowing that... 646 00:32:08,157 --> 00:32:09,573 Don't narrate. Just be. 647 00:32:11,796 --> 00:32:13,129 Here. Take these. 648 00:32:13,161 --> 00:32:15,415 Don't let me have them back, even if I beg. 649 00:32:21,673 --> 00:32:22,839 Whoa. 650 00:32:23,391 --> 00:32:26,142 You look... 651 00:32:26,144 --> 00:32:27,593 The young woman melts 652 00:32:27,595 --> 00:32:30,847 as her suitor makes sounds indicating that her dress is a success. 653 00:32:30,849 --> 00:32:32,014 Yeah. 654 00:32:32,266 --> 00:32:33,850 I should get going. 655 00:32:33,852 --> 00:32:35,616 That video game's not going to play itself. 656 00:32:36,862 --> 00:32:39,028 Sorry you're not helping out with security. 657 00:32:39,451 --> 00:32:41,190 Baracus is already down in the polls. 658 00:32:41,192 --> 00:32:43,109 He doesn't want the Chaos Killer at his fundraiser. 659 00:32:43,437 --> 00:32:44,937 More shrimp for me. 660 00:32:47,152 --> 00:32:49,615 So, what do you even do at a political fundraiser? 661 00:32:49,892 --> 00:32:52,504 I'm pretty sure it's all about hobnobbing. 662 00:32:52,911 --> 00:32:53,942 Bring it on. 663 00:32:54,539 --> 00:32:57,757 Look alive, boys! Messerschmitts at 10 o'clock! 664 00:32:59,961 --> 00:33:02,178 Two more coming your way, Shorty! 665 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:07,683 Number three is hit, Cap! Shut 'er down! 666 00:33:08,232 --> 00:33:10,649 Here comes another, almost in range. 667 00:33:11,890 --> 00:33:14,107 Don't be shy, Fritz. I got a little present for you. 668 00:33:16,277 --> 00:33:20,730 See you in hell, you Nazi bastard! 669 00:33:20,732 --> 00:33:23,116 Dude, how much brain did you take? 670 00:33:25,236 --> 00:33:27,870 Direct hit! We're going down! 671 00:33:28,790 --> 00:33:30,289 Bail out! 672 00:33:39,801 --> 00:33:41,217 He'll be okay, right? 673 00:33:41,886 --> 00:33:44,086 Don't care. 674 00:34:03,230 --> 00:34:04,563 I've got first shift. 675 00:34:05,081 --> 00:34:07,526 - See you after work, honey? - Keep us safe. 676 00:34:13,535 --> 00:34:15,001 Liv Moore, 677 00:34:15,003 --> 00:34:18,244 I'd like you to meet the new head of Fillmore-Graves, Chase Graves. 678 00:34:18,245 --> 00:34:21,290 Mr. Graves, I am so sorry about Vivian. I greatly admired... 679 00:34:21,292 --> 00:34:23,509 Where do we stand on the Tuttle-Reid investigation? 680 00:34:24,499 --> 00:34:27,930 Well, there's a group here in Seattle that believes zombies escaped... 681 00:34:27,932 --> 00:34:29,849 From the Max Rager party. I know. I've been briefed. 682 00:34:30,309 --> 00:34:31,788 Do you have hard evidence that can put them away 683 00:34:31,789 --> 00:34:33,554 for murdering that zombie family? 684 00:34:33,909 --> 00:34:37,807 Not yet. But we've got someone on the inside of Harley Johns' group. 685 00:34:37,932 --> 00:34:39,642 You do understand the urgency, don't you? 686 00:34:40,070 --> 00:34:41,727 Zombie Island won't be ready for some time. 687 00:34:41,729 --> 00:34:44,177 If D-Day happens before we're ready, we could face extinction. 688 00:34:44,178 --> 00:34:45,282 I know this. 689 00:34:45,579 --> 00:34:48,985 My partner and I are risking our careers to pursue it on our own time. 690 00:34:48,987 --> 00:34:50,486 It's not even our case. 691 00:34:50,488 --> 00:34:53,155 Your partner. A human who you told about us. 692 00:34:53,157 --> 00:34:55,041 A human who risked his life for zombies. 693 00:34:55,043 --> 00:34:56,909 Who gave up the woman he loved for zombies. 694 00:34:56,911 --> 00:34:58,544 Yeah. That guy. 695 00:35:02,050 --> 00:35:03,216 That's a great dress. 696 00:35:04,089 --> 00:35:08,170 Carey. I should probably meet this mayoral candidate we're bankrolling. 697 00:35:08,172 --> 00:35:09,863 Nice meeting you, Miss Moore. 698 00:35:09,864 --> 00:35:12,725 Having one of our own on the force is good for us all. 699 00:35:17,386 --> 00:35:19,084 Why don't we have any drinks yet? 700 00:35:19,100 --> 00:35:20,663 What happened? I thought you were 701 00:35:20,665 --> 00:35:22,700 getting ready at home and coming with us. 702 00:35:22,988 --> 00:35:25,354 I had too much to do. I came here straight from work. 703 00:35:25,545 --> 00:35:28,491 From now on, could you at least pretend that this takes some effort? 704 00:35:29,777 --> 00:35:30,943 Free booze! 705 00:35:31,253 --> 00:35:34,530 Oh, uh, grab me a Scotch. I need to talk to my boss. 706 00:35:39,871 --> 00:35:41,471 All right. Who's gonna be the next mayor? 707 00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:42,004 Me! 708 00:35:42,146 --> 00:35:43,312 Oh! 709 00:35:43,616 --> 00:35:45,282 Thank you very much. Thank you. 710 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:49,712 Great stuff. 711 00:35:49,714 --> 00:35:51,547 Auction begins in 90 minutes. 712 00:35:51,824 --> 00:35:53,716 Until then, I'll keep Buck. 713 00:35:53,718 --> 00:35:54,769 You work the crowd. 714 00:35:54,770 --> 00:35:57,803 Oh, and, um, Chase wants to meet you when you have a minute. 715 00:35:57,855 --> 00:35:58,668 Who? 716 00:35:58,670 --> 00:36:01,107 Only the most important zombie on this planet. 717 00:36:01,109 --> 00:36:02,391 Right. Chase Graves. 718 00:36:02,393 --> 00:36:03,943 Endeavor to impress. 719 00:36:03,945 --> 00:36:05,978 Okay. We'll see you soon. 720 00:36:05,980 --> 00:36:08,197 Hey, Daniel. Good to see you. 721 00:36:08,199 --> 00:36:09,699 - Thanks for coming out. - Floyd. 722 00:36:09,843 --> 00:36:11,400 Sorry to interrupt with an office matter, 723 00:36:11,441 --> 00:36:12,907 but you haven't been around much lately. 724 00:36:13,020 --> 00:36:15,121 I just... I had a few questions to run by you. 725 00:36:15,123 --> 00:36:17,290 - Yeah. - On the Weckler case. 726 00:36:18,626 --> 00:36:20,126 The murdered dominatrix. 727 00:36:20,628 --> 00:36:21,794 We have a confession. 728 00:36:22,547 --> 00:36:24,080 There's something fishy about it. 729 00:36:24,895 --> 00:36:29,168 My old boss used to tell me, "When you win a case, get out of the courtroom." 730 00:36:29,754 --> 00:36:30,970 Let it go. 731 00:36:31,723 --> 00:36:33,139 Go have some fun, Peyton. 732 00:36:33,808 --> 00:36:34,974 Hey. 733 00:36:38,980 --> 00:36:41,506 Well, that went over like a fart in a phone booth. 734 00:36:41,508 --> 00:36:42,349 What? 735 00:36:42,969 --> 00:36:45,067 I just tried to ask my boss about the murdered dominatrix case, 736 00:36:45,069 --> 00:36:47,436 and he practically sprinted away. Told me to drop it. 737 00:36:48,127 --> 00:36:49,822 Maybe that has something to do with the fact 738 00:36:49,824 --> 00:36:53,109 that your boss was one of the dominatrix's clients. 739 00:36:55,446 --> 00:36:56,612 Tell me everything. 740 00:37:05,923 --> 00:37:08,040 Hey, Doc. You got a minute? 741 00:37:09,293 --> 00:37:10,263 Uh... 742 00:37:12,585 --> 00:37:14,335 We caught ourselves a zombie. 743 00:37:14,522 --> 00:37:16,882 What happened to waiting until I finish the vaccine? 744 00:37:16,884 --> 00:37:19,135 You know, we've got our eyes on all those Chaos Killer zombies. 745 00:37:19,137 --> 00:37:21,437 They've got security details, and those security details 746 00:37:21,439 --> 00:37:23,472 all end up at the same underground bar. 747 00:37:23,474 --> 00:37:24,974 That's where we found this one. 748 00:37:25,003 --> 00:37:27,443 Alone, wandering around. Pretty out of it. 749 00:37:27,445 --> 00:37:29,145 Figured you'd have tranquilizers. 750 00:37:29,169 --> 00:37:31,530 We need something to mellow out this freak without killing it. 751 00:37:31,619 --> 00:37:33,032 You're sure you captured a... 752 00:37:35,536 --> 00:37:36,652 Zombie? 753 00:37:36,654 --> 00:37:37,870 Pretty damn sure. 754 00:37:45,084 --> 00:37:47,333 _ 755 00:37:51,013 --> 00:37:54,383 _ 756 00:38:15,238 --> 00:38:16,488 Hey, there. 757 00:38:16,934 --> 00:38:19,541 Guess who's off duty and ready to hobnob his ass off. 758 00:38:19,669 --> 00:38:20,668 Really? 759 00:38:21,105 --> 00:38:22,827 'Cause I'm all hobnobbed out. 760 00:38:22,829 --> 00:38:26,714 And I was hoping to take some Fillmore-Graves soldier home, make love, 761 00:38:26,716 --> 00:38:30,885 and immediately fall asleep without a follow-up conversation. 762 00:38:31,505 --> 00:38:32,887 Check, please! 763 00:38:33,423 --> 00:38:34,543 Oh, look. 764 00:38:34,544 --> 00:38:37,559 It's your new boss chitchatting with the zombie-who-would-be-mayor 765 00:38:37,561 --> 00:38:39,060 if he weren't such a terrible candidate. 766 00:38:39,513 --> 00:38:40,845 Have you met Chase Graves, yet? 767 00:38:41,087 --> 00:38:42,347 I'm not sure what I think. 768 00:38:42,432 --> 00:38:45,016 I have met him. The day he arrived, in fact. 769 00:38:45,907 --> 00:38:48,190 He found out we stole a six pack of Super Max, 770 00:38:48,271 --> 00:38:49,487 and he shot me in the chest. 771 00:38:49,489 --> 00:38:50,688 He did not. 772 00:38:51,136 --> 00:38:54,159 Liv, this is sweet, but there could not be nothing worse for me than... Liv! 773 00:38:54,244 --> 00:38:55,243 Liv! 774 00:39:03,036 --> 00:39:04,202 Dad! 775 00:39:05,005 --> 00:39:06,204 Stay down. 776 00:39:07,874 --> 00:39:10,375 - Take the boy. I've got Baracus. - I'm on it. 777 00:39:10,377 --> 00:39:12,043 Floyd. Let Carey take your boy. 778 00:39:12,093 --> 00:39:13,701 You need to calm down. 779 00:39:13,807 --> 00:39:14,818 Let's go, Buck. 780 00:39:14,881 --> 00:39:16,181 Your dad's gonna be fine. 781 00:39:16,633 --> 00:39:17,799 Eyes on me. 782 00:39:17,882 --> 00:39:20,942 Deep, steady breaths. 783 00:39:21,104 --> 00:39:22,520 Miss, I'm a doctor! 784 00:39:22,606 --> 00:39:25,018 So am I. Stay out of my way! 785 00:39:53,141 --> 00:39:55,391 - Shawna. - Major. 786 00:39:55,704 --> 00:39:57,173 Chaos Killer in the flesh. 787 00:39:58,141 --> 00:39:59,307 Come on in. 788 00:40:09,233 --> 00:40:12,650 The man was willing to literally take a bullet for his son. 789 00:40:12,651 --> 00:40:14,439 Can you imagine what that would be like, 790 00:40:14,441 --> 00:40:16,274 growing up with a father that cares that much? 791 00:40:16,826 --> 00:40:19,277 Yeah. Me, neither. 792 00:40:19,946 --> 00:40:21,112 Hungry? 793 00:40:26,169 --> 00:40:28,670 That's from an impotent proctologist, by the way. 794 00:40:29,506 --> 00:40:30,705 Enjoy. 795 00:40:32,509 --> 00:40:35,593 Taking that bullet should do wonders for Baracus' poll numbers. 796 00:40:36,296 --> 00:40:37,879 And a zombie mayor? 797 00:40:38,798 --> 00:40:40,548 That'll help me as well. 798 00:40:41,841 --> 00:40:43,381 You see what I did there? 799 00:40:46,106 --> 00:40:47,522 Oh, Father, 800 00:40:47,879 --> 00:40:50,358 I'm so glad you're still around to experience this. 801 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:53,144 It's like all my wishes are coming true. 802 00:41:19,089 --> 00:41:21,005 Welcome back to the United States. 803 00:41:21,523 --> 00:41:23,057 How long are you gonna be in Seattle? 804 00:41:23,692 --> 00:41:26,477 Just long enough to get my money and settle some old debts. 805 00:41:28,515 --> 00:41:30,682 Tell your ma hi for me, will you, Spence? 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 59499

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