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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:18,185 * 2 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,369 * 3 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,345 Soda water. 4 00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:46,213 -Lime wedge? -Nah. 5 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:48,549 Who am I trying to fool? 6 00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:50,217 Hey there. 7 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,554 Hi. 8 00:00:53,588 --> 00:00:55,956 -Are you staying at the hotel? -I am. 9 00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:57,692 Yeah, me, too, you know. 10 00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:00,127 I'm, uh, I'm Curtis. 11 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,862 Gretchen. 12 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:04,732 Wow. I don't think I've ever actually met a Gretchen. 13 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,535 Well, Curtis, now you have. 14 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,504 Yes, I have. (laughs) 15 00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:14,275 So, uh, are you... are you here alone, 16 00:01:14,309 --> 00:01:16,577 or...? 17 00:01:16,611 --> 00:01:19,146 Yes, I... I am alone. 18 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,282 (laughs) Uh... 19 00:01:21,316 --> 00:01:25,320 I-I guess what I'm asking in a larger sense is... 20 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,087 single? 21 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:30,190 Are you, uh... are you single? 22 00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,462 Single like a fox. 23 00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:38,733 Although, I did almost get married once. 24 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,736 Oh. Almost. 25 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:45,540 Well, I mean, would you want to tell me the story over a drink? 26 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,611 Aw, fuck it. 27 00:01:50,645 --> 00:01:52,780 Whiskey, rocks. 28 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:55,383 You live exactly once, right, Curtis? 29 00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,954 * 30 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:04,925 * I'm gonna leave you anyway * 31 00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,962 * I'm gonna leave you anyway * 32 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,565 * Gonna leave you anyway. * 33 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,012 (crushing pills) 34 00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:32,720 (snorting) 35 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,689 (sniffs hard) 36 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:37,324 (sighs) 37 00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:39,794 JIMMY: Okay, the final options for Gretchen's 38 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,496 Walk Down the Aisle music. 39 00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:44,131 "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba, "Juicy," Biggie, 40 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,666 "Poison" by Bell Biv DeVoe. 41 00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:48,803 As Shakespeare said, "Never trust a big butt and a smile." 42 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,304 "Freak on a Leash" by Korn, 43 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,373 -"Marry Me" by Train. -Oh, nix that one. 44 00:02:52,407 --> 00:02:54,742 I don't want to ruin my mascara crying too hard. 45 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,411 "Sweet Child of Mine," GNR, 46 00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:58,078 "Relax" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. 47 00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,214 -You do know that's about butt sex? -I do. 48 00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,716 Madonna, "Like A Virgin," 49 00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:04,485 "2 Become 1," Spice Girls. Aw. 50 00:03:04,519 --> 00:03:07,855 "Sabotage," Beastie Boys, "Waterfalls," TLC. 51 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,090 Oh, too sad. AIDS. Change it to "No Scrubs." 52 00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:13,060 "Pop That Pussy" by 2 Live Crew, 53 00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:15,195 "Girls Just Want to Have Lunch" by Weird Al, 54 00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:17,164 "Maneater" by Hall and Oates 55 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,499 and "Cherry Pie" by Warrant. 56 00:03:18,533 --> 00:03:20,735 -Great list. -Greatest list. 57 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,069 So, shall we winnow it down? 58 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,404 Oh, gonna have to winnow lata, playa. 59 00:03:23,438 --> 00:03:25,673 I have to head into the office 60 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,843 before the shitstorm du jour starts. Oh! 61 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,178 Aw, damn it! 62 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,948 Calgon, right? 63 00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,583 Anyway, office drahms. 64 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:38,285 Debbie's inner-ear problem is flaring up, 65 00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:39,854 so she's always weaving when she walks. 66 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,790 And Mike's cat's butt is jacked 67 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,725 after she had all those baby cats. 68 00:03:44,759 --> 00:03:46,527 Blah, blah, blah. Work shit. 69 00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:50,064 Yeah, yeah, mi-might I remind you that your first wedding 70 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:53,100 is but five days away, 71 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,470 and we still need to choose the font for the name cards 72 00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:58,405 and pick a punny name for our signature cocktail. 73 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,274 And we're totally gonna do all that bullshit, 74 00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:03,077 but again, supes swamped at wiz-erk. 75 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,546 Yeah, no, that's actually fine, 'cause Edgar and I 76 00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:08,949 have our notes "phoner" with the studio today. 77 00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:12,219 Because we finished the script. Which I told you about already. 78 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,322 At which time your reaction was similarly, 79 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:16,757 dishearteningly muted. 80 00:04:16,791 --> 00:04:19,226 Cool, bud. See ya. 81 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,161 Huh. 82 00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:23,464 What? 83 00:04:23,498 --> 00:04:24,932 Oh, nothing. 84 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,266 It just doesn't seem like 85 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,936 -Gretchen's very excited about the wedding. -Edgar. 86 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:32,106 As clearly evidenced by not even having time 87 00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:35,075 to close the front door, Gretchen is incredibly busy 88 00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:37,745 with important work things. 89 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,515 * Hey * 90 00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:43,918 * We go to work, work, work, work, work, work, work * 91 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:48,255 * We go to work, work, work, work, work, work, work * 92 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,323 * We go to work * 93 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:54,595 * If you want it, come and get it * 94 00:04:54,629 --> 00:04:57,832 * We'll break you off some, we'll break you off some * 95 00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:01,168 * Say yeah * 96 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,037 * We ain't come to play around * 97 00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:04,605 * No, no, no * 98 00:05:04,639 --> 00:05:06,340 * We ain't come to play around * 99 00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,709 * No, no, no * 100 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,310 * If you can't take the heat * 101 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,146 * Then get out the kitchen * 102 00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:15,349 * If you can't take the heat, then get out, get out * 103 00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:18,653 * Say yeah * 104 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,454 * Work, work, work, come on * 105 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,557 * Work, work, work, yes * 106 00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,258 * Yeah, yeah. * 107 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:32,066 (hold music playing) 108 00:05:34,869 --> 00:05:35,836 (music stops) 109 00:05:35,870 --> 00:05:38,305 -Hi. -Hey, everybody. 110 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,975 Hey, guys. Sheila here. 111 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,877 Uh, hi, Sheila. 112 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:45,412 We just... Are we just waiting for everyone else, or...? 113 00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,381 SHEILA: Uh, we just wanted to say 114 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:50,417 you two did a great job. 115 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:53,520 Hey, Sheila, it's Edgar. 116 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:56,056 We're just a little confused. 117 00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:57,658 Isn't this a notes call? 118 00:05:57,692 --> 00:06:00,327 Yeah, it sounds like our wires got crossed. 119 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,564 No, we're all set. Again, amazing work. 120 00:06:03,598 --> 00:06:06,033 So, then, th-the next step would be...? 121 00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:07,768 Absolutely. Take care, guys. 122 00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:09,436 (line disconnects, dial tone drones) 123 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:10,571 (disconnect chime) 124 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:17,612 No notes? Boom! 125 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:19,046 I don't know, Jimmy. 126 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:21,448 No notes isn't really a thing, remember? 127 00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:23,350 I'm gonna call my agent. 128 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,186 Oh, no, Jimmy. 129 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:29,423 Check Deadline. 130 00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:31,759 Hi, Grace. 131 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:35,763 The studio's hired Diablo Cody 132 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:38,265 to adapt my book?! 133 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:42,469 But we already wrote it. 134 00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:44,071 KILLIAN: They probably just kicked you a draft 135 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,040 to keep the relationship good while you finish 136 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,474 the other two Peach books. 137 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,776 Sort of how Tom gets "story by" credit 138 00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,110 on all the Reachers. 139 00:06:50,144 --> 00:06:52,446 Oh, guess I haven't seen you in a while, huh? 140 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:55,082 My dad sobered up and found religion for us. 141 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,884 Now I get to wear this cool sailor's costume, 142 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,819 and I live in a room above a GameStop on Sunset 143 00:06:58,853 --> 00:06:59,820 with four other children. 144 00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:01,789 I left word. 145 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,390 Hey, you know what I just caught on cable? 146 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,424 Jack Reacher. 147 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,126 It's really good. 148 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,594 You should tell people it's good. 149 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,396 Can I count on you to tell people it's good, Jimmy? 150 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,901 Another great living novelist felled by the studio system, 151 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,637 Like F. Scott Fitzgerald or Chuck Palahniuk. 152 00:07:16,671 --> 00:07:20,675 How utterly cliché. 153 00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:24,478 Well, at least my better half is still gainfully employed. 154 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,985 (gasps) 155 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,053 You got the shit? 156 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,360 Why can't I meet you somewhere normal? 157 00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:41,829 Hit me with the hot work goss. 158 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:45,833 It turns out, Mike's cat actually has hemorrhoids. 159 00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,835 Debbie took a header coming out of the bathroom. 160 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,169 (both laugh) 161 00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:51,672 Yvette's still a giant bitch for firing you. 162 00:07:51,706 --> 00:07:54,474 -How's Toilet? -How would I know? 163 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:55,810 He's great. Okay? 164 00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:58,545 Gretch, I can't keep doing this. I think these papers 165 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,715 you're making me steal may be important. 166 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:03,217 If they were so important, why are they in the trash? 167 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,686 Jimmy's never once looked at your work stuff. 168 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,154 Why do you need Caliber papers 169 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,389 to make him believe you weren't canned? 170 00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:10,791 I can't let him know I am losing it 171 00:08:10,825 --> 00:08:11,859 right before the wedding. 172 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,627 I'll tell him after. 173 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,195 Divorce is so much paperwork. 174 00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:16,463 He'll never get around to that shit. 175 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,132 Stupid Yvette. 176 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:21,068 I mean, who fires someone right before their wedding? 177 00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:23,503 You know what? 178 00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:27,241 I am going to march in there and chew her ass out for you. 179 00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,243 Plus, it's only four episodes, 180 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,746 so we can probably watch it all tonight. 181 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:34,749 (gasps) Ooh. Let's order Thai. 182 00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:37,384 (panting): Okay. Hey. 183 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:39,019 You know what else we should do? 184 00:08:39,053 --> 00:08:41,188 -Rehire Gretchen. -What? 185 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,995 Hey, where'd your butt go? 186 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,997 I understand that Gretchen is your friend, 187 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,199 but she royally screwed up. 188 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:55,035 Did she, though? 189 00:08:55,069 --> 00:08:57,537 She set off a fire alarm to avoid 190 00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,740 disappointing one of her clients. 191 00:08:59,774 --> 00:09:02,342 That is insane. 192 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:05,112 I feel like you're upset. 193 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,347 So what color curry should we get tonight? 194 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,350 Yellow? Red? Blue? 195 00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,386 -(chuckles) -Something came up. 196 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,922 Just now? 197 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,957 (quietly): Okay. 198 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,635 (phone chimes, vibrates) 199 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:32,272 (whimpering sob) 200 00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:37,077 My own creation, ripped from my heaving bosom. 201 00:09:37,111 --> 00:09:40,214 -No! -(phone chimes, vibrates) 202 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,950 Edgar, be a dear and answer this, will you? 203 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,952 Whoever it is won't stop calling, 204 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,954 and I'm far too distressed 205 00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:49,156 to synthesize any sort of cogent thought. 206 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,225 Jimmy's phone. This is Edgar. 207 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,893 -(paper rips) -Uh-huh, hold on. 208 00:09:52,927 --> 00:09:54,294 The caterer wants to know if you want 209 00:09:54,328 --> 00:09:56,463 red or white quinoa in the farro salad. 210 00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:59,399 (moans) 211 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,668 We'll get back to you. 212 00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:02,669 (phone beeps off) 213 00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,738 I'm gonna ask Gretchen. 214 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,941 (keys beeping) 215 00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:09,243 -(phone rings) -Caliber PR. 216 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,311 Uh, hi. Gretchen Cutler's office, please? 217 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,983 (clears throat) 218 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,685 You are hearing this prepared statement 219 00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,821 because you called for Gretchen Cutler, 220 00:10:20,855 --> 00:10:23,257 whose employment was terminated immediately 221 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,325 upon the incident on the 12th. 222 00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:28,996 If Ms. Cutler has personally injured or assaul... 223 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,436 I left word. 224 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:38,538 (moaning) 225 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:46,847 -(lullaby plays softly) -Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 226 00:10:46,881 --> 00:10:49,216 (quietly): Good girl. 227 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:52,086 (lullaby continues) 228 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,222 Time for sleepies. 229 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,858 You get some sleep, okay? Good night. 230 00:10:57,892 --> 00:11:00,294 (Tallulah whimpering) 231 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,329 Shh... 232 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,868 Hey, you want to help me find a new apartment? 233 00:11:07,902 --> 00:11:11,138 Bec and I talked Paul into springing for a sweet Airbnb. 234 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,173 "For the baby." Oops. 235 00:11:13,207 --> 00:11:14,741 I'm supposed to do the quotes in my head. 236 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:17,477 -I have a secret. -Hell, yeah. 237 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,346 Love secrets. Lay it on me. 238 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,648 I'm a lesbian now. 239 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,717 That's, uh... 240 00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:27,721 That's... 241 00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:29,823 -That's amazing. -(exhales) 242 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,426 I am so honored that you would trust me with this. Come here. 243 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,194 Oh. 244 00:11:34,228 --> 00:11:35,529 You outed yourself to the right hombre. 245 00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:37,364 I'm sort of a lezbo expert. 246 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,533 Not 'cause I'm cranked up by the idea of two ladies 247 00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:42,269 smushing their titties and boxes together and whatnots, 248 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:45,372 -but on account of my two moms. -Your what, now? 249 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:48,508 Me being born dead was mad stressful on my folks. 250 00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,510 I survived, but their marriage didn't. 251 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,012 But it was a stealth blessing 252 00:11:52,046 --> 00:11:54,081 'cause it turns out my mom is super gay. 253 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:56,083 And you turned out like this? 254 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,618 Right. That's why I'm so mad fucking sensitive. 255 00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:00,554 I like Yvette so much. 256 00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:04,091 I've never felt this way about anyone, not even Dave Navarro. 257 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,625 Plus, I've never dated a woman, 258 00:12:05,659 --> 00:12:08,128 so I don't know if I'm doing any of this right. 259 00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,230 Okay. Let's run through your relaish right quick. 260 00:12:10,264 --> 00:12:13,733 -Oh. -(grunts) 261 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:17,571 -When was your last hike? -Never. 262 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:20,240 Which Costco do you guys belong to together? 263 00:12:20,274 --> 00:12:22,242 -None. -Have you seen Fun Home? 264 00:12:22,276 --> 00:12:24,444 -Huh? -How many flannels do you own? 265 00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,746 -Uh... -Which Subaru have you test-driven? 266 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,549 -Zero. -How much did you donate to NPR last year? 267 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,118 What's NPR? 268 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:32,552 What's your favorite Tegan and Sara album? 269 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:35,956 -Who? -Has she made you a chili? 270 00:12:35,990 --> 00:12:38,758 -What? -A chili-- beans, meat, a tomato base. 271 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:41,661 -A chili, goddamn it. -We haven't made a chili. 272 00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:43,330 That's it! 273 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,999 You need to do something to let her know 274 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:48,168 that you're serious about being a lesbian. 275 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,938 (insects chirping) 276 00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:01,648 (exhales) Three, two... 277 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,984 -AUDIENCE: Wheel of Fortune! -(sighs) 278 00:13:04,018 --> 00:13:06,486 Home just in time for Wheel. 279 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,122 Pretty impressive how I have my commute 280 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:10,190 timed so perfectly, huh, Jimbo? 281 00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:12,126 (groaning) 282 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:15,362 Another crazy one at work today. 283 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:16,997 You know, Debbie, from accounting? 284 00:13:17,031 --> 00:13:20,100 She ate shit coming out of the bathroom. 285 00:13:20,134 --> 00:13:23,103 Really fucked herself up. Super funny. 286 00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:26,173 Also, Mike's cat's butt exploded. 287 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,708 (Jimmy moaning) 288 00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:32,779 JIMMY: Don't you want to know what's wrong? 289 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,381 Of course. 290 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:38,818 I was essentially fired off my own movie, 291 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:43,523 only to be rewritten by Diablo Cody. Diablo Cody. 292 00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:45,725 -Juno. -I do know. 293 00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:48,962 Ever since, I've been in a depressive spiral. 294 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:52,832 I hope that you can still love me through this. 295 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:58,638 There, there, bud. 296 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,040 It'll be okay. 297 00:14:00,074 --> 00:14:02,876 You know, I really underestimated 298 00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:07,714 the amount of psychic pain that depression can inflict. 299 00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:11,551 This really puts your past flare-ups into context. 300 00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:15,555 It really does. 301 00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:17,424 (groaning) 302 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,997 * Got a issue, got a issue, better leave it * 303 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,699 * I don't really say it unless I mean it * 304 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:28,268 * Magazines ain't here for reading * 305 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,670 * 'Cause now these ... fucking with the meanest * 306 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,039 * Since a youngin', I've been going fucking hammer * 307 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,842 * Don't believe me? Ask my motherfucking nana * 308 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,278 * She'll tell you I've been crazy since pajamas * 309 00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:40,847 * Everybody in my crew go bananas * 310 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,517 * Burn said kill it, I said why not? * 311 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,253 * Aim it through the alley, that's a tight shot * 312 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,588 * Bitch, pussy good, that's a tight shot * 313 00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:50,023 * Too bad that my heart... * 314 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,759 Hey, Gretchen. 315 00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:54,661 Hello there. 316 00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:57,297 How are you? 317 00:14:58,632 --> 00:15:00,600 So good. 318 00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:03,370 Work is B-A-N-A-N-A-S. 319 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:07,541 Debbie from accounting died, so there's a cake for that later. 320 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,544 And my assistant Mike's cat has a robot butt. 321 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,313 You know, cool work stuff. 322 00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:15,349 Mm-hmm. 323 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,556 All right. 324 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,158 See ya. 325 00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:27,394 JIMMY: * The bells are ringing * 326 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,763 * For me and my gal * 327 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,499 * The birds are singing * 328 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:35,068 * For me and my gal * 329 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,472 * Everybody been knowing * 330 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:42,008 * To a wedding we're goin'. * 331 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,477 (chuckles) 332 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,445 I've done it. I bested my depression. 333 00:15:45,479 --> 00:15:49,082 Gretchen, I gazed into the eye of the great void 334 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,684 and I said, "Nay, 335 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:53,487 you shan't take me today, void." 336 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,789 -(chuckles): Hmm. -Sorry for being such a bummer yesterday. 337 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,424 It was really quite selfish of me 338 00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,460 to burden you with my sadness like that. 339 00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:01,995 -No worries. -And now I wholly 340 00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:04,698 empathize with your experience of depression. 341 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,334 I'm just glad those dark days are behind us. 342 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:09,102 -Anyways, I really got to get to... -I am gonna seize 343 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:14,374 this glorious day to take care of manifold wedding tasks. 344 00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:16,210 I can't believe we're getting married in four days. 345 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:19,045 -Same. (whoops) -I'm also gonna take my tux to get pressed. 346 00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:20,680 Would you like me to take your dress, as well? 347 00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,282 Don't worry, I won't peek at it. 348 00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:24,518 -Actually, I don't have one. -What's that? 349 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,720 No dress, homeboy. I've been busy. 350 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,955 Work. Got to go, so busy. 351 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,891 Debbie go boom, cat butt turn for worse. 352 00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:33,193 Bye. 353 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,466 (door opens, closes) 354 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,835 PHOTOGRAPHER: Work it. 355 00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:44,638 YVETTE: Remind the D.A. that while Lil' Reba claims in every interview 356 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,374 to be "moving bricks," she's nine years old. 357 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,409 Then leak to the source that Reba is quote: 358 00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,678 "Hard as shit and has been flipping packs 359 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:52,812 since she was six." 360 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,548 Okay? Uh, yes, and... 361 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:57,351 Let me call you back. 362 00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:59,886 Lindsay, please. I really don't have 363 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:03,257 -time for your... -Ta-da. 364 00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:04,424 Oh, dear God. 365 00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:05,759 I really like you, Yvette. 366 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,193 I want to go hiking to Costco 367 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,529 with you and buy chili stuff. 368 00:17:09,563 --> 00:17:11,431 Let's make a chili. 369 00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:14,401 Did you seriously think that putting on 370 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:18,171 some lesbian minstrel show would convince me to... what? 371 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:21,107 I don't even know what you want. 372 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,276 (scoffs) 373 00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:24,944 -I want you. -You're not gay. 374 00:17:24,978 --> 00:17:27,581 Not to mention the fact that you had an agenda 375 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,115 to get Gretchen hired back. 376 00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:32,286 That's not true! We squished boxes before you fired Gretchen. 377 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,020 Don't hire her back, I don't care. 378 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,922 I'm sorry, Lindsay. 379 00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:38,124 Okay, you're right, maybe I am trying hard 380 00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,627 but that's because I love you so quit the bullshit 381 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,497 and tell me you love me back or I'll stab you, you fucking cunt. 382 00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,536 You know what? 383 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:50,904 You're fired. 384 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,372 You can't fire me. 385 00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:54,073 There are literal hours of security footage 386 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,976 of you stealing confidential documents from the shred bin. 387 00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:59,446 You mean the locked trash? 388 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,914 You also just threatened to stab me. 389 00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:04,284 -I'm gonna... -Yeah. 390 00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:10,757 So what am I looking at, severance package-wise? 391 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,091 Just around? 392 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,693 -Ballpark it for me is fine. -(scoffs) 393 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,532 (chuckles) 394 00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:24,871 (sighs) 395 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:26,973 (sighs) 396 00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,777 -Yo, you got the papers? -No, Gretchen. 397 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,245 I don't have your papers. 398 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:36,015 -I quit. -What? Why? 399 00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:38,251 For you, in solidarity. I thought you'd be happy. 400 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,186 Four days, Lindsay. 401 00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:42,756 You couldn't hold on for four goddamn more days? 402 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,258 No! This has gone too far. 403 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:48,362 Just tell Jimmy the truth. 404 00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:50,430 If someone really loves you, they don't get mad, 405 00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:51,698 no matter what you tell them. 406 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,800 Here, watch. 407 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,536 I've been sleeping with Yvette. 408 00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:59,506 And also, I didn't quit. She fired me. 409 00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,107 See? 410 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,643 And I ate her butt. See? No one cares. 411 00:19:03,677 --> 00:19:06,179 Yvette? You were literally sleeping with the enemy! 412 00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:07,781 You're not gay. 413 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,283 Well, I thought maybe I was for a second because I'm lost. 414 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,151 Jesus. 415 00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:14,888 Changed my mind, maybe you shouldn't tell Jimmy. 416 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,890 Also, she wasn't the enemy. 417 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:20,126 You actually did screw up pretty bad. 418 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:23,029 You caused, like, a hundred grand worth of water damage 419 00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:24,831 -to that club. -You sound like a narc. 420 00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:27,133 You're a giant narc bitch and I have somewhere to be. 421 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,569 -Narc. -Well, you're a tiny bitch. 422 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,304 And I have nowhere to be. 423 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,973 And you didn't even say anything about my hair. 424 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,108 It's Paul hair. 425 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,478 What are you doing later? 426 00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:40,414 I don't know! Call me! 427 00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:42,449 * 428 00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:48,287 (dogs barking, yapping) 429 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,960 * 430 00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:59,165 EDGAR: Oh, hi. 431 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,100 Um, my friend's a klepto and I think she just stole a dog. 432 00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:03,403 What? Uh... No. 433 00:20:03,437 --> 00:20:06,039 (scoffs) These doggos are all up for adoption 434 00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,041 or walking. We're here every week. 435 00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:11,277 You know, most people do this for the dogs, 436 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:12,779 but something tells me that chick needs 437 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,681 these walks more than the dogs do. 438 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,016 Some of the dogs actually get bummed when she shows up. 439 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,585 Like they can smell the desperation. 440 00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:19,953 Just give me a dog, man. 441 00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:24,958 Make it a real badass one. 442 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,993 (dog grunting) 443 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:32,566 (dog barking in distance) 444 00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:38,137 You following me, narc? 445 00:20:38,171 --> 00:20:40,206 I'm worried about you, Gretchen. 446 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,742 Why? I'm doing great. 447 00:20:42,776 --> 00:20:44,277 Look how good I am at fetch. 448 00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:48,381 (dog panting) 449 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,249 What were you looking for in the garbage this morning? 450 00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,586 -Mind your own business, Edgar. -You made it my business 451 00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,153 when you started stealing my meds. 452 00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:55,789 -Meds you don't use. -I don't use them 453 00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:58,958 because they were messing me up and they're prescribed to me. 454 00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:00,259 Who knows what they're doing to you. 455 00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:01,795 I do. 456 00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:03,563 They're making life bearable. 457 00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:06,766 Are you insane, monitoring me? 458 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,936 My parents did that and they were my parents. 459 00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:11,971 And I rejected them forever for it. 460 00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:14,808 You're just... you. 461 00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:17,110 Like, who the fuck are you, even? 462 00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:21,781 Maybe the best thing for everyone 463 00:21:21,815 --> 00:21:23,617 would be for you 464 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:26,986 to get the hell out of our lives for good! 465 00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:28,988 I know you got fired. 466 00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:33,660 Please don't tell Jimmy. 467 00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:35,795 Jimmy doesn't care about your job. 468 00:21:35,829 --> 00:21:38,097 Edgar, I am begging you. 469 00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,799 Don't tell Jimmy. 470 00:21:39,833 --> 00:21:43,202 He will leave me again and this time, he won't be 471 00:21:43,236 --> 00:21:45,038 -wrong to do it. -Gretchen, Jesus. 472 00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:47,674 I was really trying at work. 473 00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:53,146 And I still blew it. 474 00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:56,049 Even when I try, I fail. 475 00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:59,318 I always fail. 476 00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:01,154 And I can't fail with Jimmy. 477 00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:03,757 I just... can't. 478 00:22:05,058 --> 00:22:07,794 I won't tell him. 479 00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:10,764 But don't you think you should be able to? 480 00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:17,771 (softly): I'm sorry. 481 00:22:25,278 --> 00:22:29,983 -(lock clicks) -* I saw you * 482 00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:31,551 * Standing there... * 483 00:22:31,585 --> 00:22:35,421 Goddamn, homey, work was straight cray again today. 484 00:22:35,454 --> 00:22:38,224 But I am so stoked I made it home in time for... 485 00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:41,561 (muffled): What's up, Jimmy? 486 00:22:41,595 --> 00:22:44,263 (chuckling): Jimmy. 487 00:22:44,297 --> 00:22:45,832 (voice quavers): What? 488 00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:50,604 * I wonder why, oh why * 489 00:22:50,637 --> 00:22:53,206 * Ooh * 490 00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:57,944 * That you were not there * 491 00:22:57,977 --> 00:23:01,380 * Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh * 492 00:23:01,414 --> 00:23:04,751 * You looked so good * 493 00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:06,419 I got you a wedding dress. 494 00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:07,887 (snaps fingers) 495 00:23:07,921 --> 00:23:10,724 * Ooh * 496 00:23:10,757 --> 00:23:15,461 * That I stopped and I stared... * 497 00:23:15,494 --> 00:23:17,096 What the... 498 00:23:17,130 --> 00:23:19,933 Jimmy, that's exactly the dress I didn't know I needed. 499 00:23:19,966 --> 00:23:21,200 How did you...? 500 00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:23,369 * Why... * 501 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:24,938 Beat it. 502 00:23:27,941 --> 00:23:29,876 -Can you unzip me, mister? -(quietly): Yes, just go. 503 00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:32,946 * That day... * 504 00:23:32,979 --> 00:23:36,549 JIMMY: Obviously we'll have it taken in significantly. 505 00:23:36,582 --> 00:23:38,752 Thank you. 506 00:23:38,785 --> 00:23:40,219 * I looked for you... * 507 00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:42,555 I got fired. 508 00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:45,625 Oh. Well, that's okay. 509 00:23:45,659 --> 00:23:47,326 Really? 510 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:49,428 Yeah, we'll figure it out. 511 00:23:49,462 --> 00:23:52,598 And if not, Edgar can give us homeless advice. 512 00:23:52,632 --> 00:23:54,433 (both chuckle) 513 00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:56,836 Actually, I got fired, like, two weeks ago. 514 00:23:56,870 --> 00:23:58,604 I've just been pretending to go to work 515 00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:01,474 like some prideful Japanese businessman. 516 00:24:01,507 --> 00:24:03,576 Also I stopped talking to my therapist 517 00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,679 and I've been taking a bunch of random pills. 518 00:24:05,712 --> 00:24:08,815 And even though I have literally nothing to do, 519 00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:10,583 I just can't bear to bring myself 520 00:24:10,616 --> 00:24:12,719 to do a single thing for this wedding. 521 00:24:14,721 --> 00:24:17,456 Our wedding is gonna be amazing. 522 00:24:18,524 --> 00:24:22,361 * Ooh * 523 00:24:22,395 --> 00:24:24,731 * You may not be deep * 524 00:24:26,733 --> 00:24:30,970 * Ah... ah * 525 00:24:31,004 --> 00:24:34,507 * This could happen to you, pretty baby * 526 00:24:34,540 --> 00:24:37,677 * Ooh, ooh * 527 00:24:37,711 --> 00:24:42,448 * Like it happened to me * 528 00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:46,319 * Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh. * 529 00:24:53,893 --> 00:24:56,863 (dog barks) 530 00:24:59,899 --> 00:25:01,868 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 531 00:25:03,903 --> 00:25:05,872 (rock music playing) 35460

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