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1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:04,736
Oh, my God, I can't believe
how big Halley's getting.
2
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:05,937
Yeah-- where's Howard?
3
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,105
He's changing Michael.
4
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:08,740
A-All done. You know, fun fact,
5
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:12,176
did you know baby boys
can pee straight up?
6
00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:15,780
Grown-up boys, too.
7
00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:18,349
Why would we high-five that?
8
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,551
So how are you guys?
9
00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:21,919
Really good.
10
00:00:21,921 --> 00:00:23,821
Except for when we went
grocery shopping,
11
00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:26,900
and the checkout lady asked
when I was due.
12
00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:27,425
But you handled it well.
13
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:33,197
Well, if you guys need help,
I'd be happy to come over.
14
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,800
Oh, thanks, but we're really
trying to enjoy this family time
15
00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:37,602
before we both go back to work.
16
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,370
Okay, well, we all miss you.
17
00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:40,938
You guys, too.
Bye.
18
00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:42,540
Ah.
19
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,542
Boy, seeing them
all together like that
20
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:48,460
has got my biological clock
ticking like crazy.
21
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,882
Yeah, I don't think men have...
22
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,283
I do.
23
00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:54,952
- Hi.
- Hello.
24
00:00:54,954 --> 00:00:56,870
Hey, guys.
Hey.
25
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:57,989
Good news, we have
save the date cards.
26
00:00:57,991 --> 00:00:59,290
Oh.
27
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:02,260
Huh, didn't go with
my calligrapher. Interesting.
28
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:05,196
What is this picture?
29
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:07,398
Oh, it's an MRI
of our brains photoshopped
30
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,900
to look like they're kissing.
31
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:11,703
Is it too sexy?
32
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,905
It's too something.
33
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,175
Guys, May 12, that's exciting.
34
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:18,910
I know.
Do you guys have
35
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,712
a location yet? 'Cause you
don't have a lot of time.
36
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,180
Hey, it took us nine
months to pick a date,
37
00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:24,315
and a week to decide if
brains can have lips on them,
38
00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:26,284
so get in the boat and row.
39
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:31,220
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
40
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,359
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
41
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:35,993
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
42
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:38,529
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
43
00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:41,199
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
44
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,868
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
45
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,770
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
46
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:46,177
♪ Bang! ♪
47
00:01:46,178 --> 00:01:50,178
♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x17 ♪
The Athenaeum Allocation
Original Air Date on March 8, 2018
48
00:01:50,179 --> 00:01:52,279
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
49
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,620
Michael's out.
50
00:01:54,630 --> 00:01:55,896
So is Halley.
51
00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:57,998
Oh, my God, he's so cute.
52
00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,767
So is she.
53
00:01:59,769 --> 00:02:01,202
Switch?
54
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,404
Yeah.
55
00:02:05,441 --> 00:02:08,800
Oh, my God, he's so cute.
56
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:09,443
So is she.
57
00:02:09,445 --> 00:02:11,779
I just love them so much.
58
00:02:11,781 --> 00:02:13,714
Me, too.
59
00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:16,283
My heart feels
like it's gonna explode.
60
00:02:16,285 --> 00:02:19,453
Of course, it's full of brisket,
so it probably will.
61
00:02:20,389 --> 00:02:23,290
Oh, I didn't even
know I was capable
62
00:02:23,292 --> 00:02:25,326
of loving someone so much.
63
00:02:25,328 --> 00:02:27,461
More than me?
64
00:02:27,463 --> 00:02:28,596
Wha-- oh, uh...
65
00:02:28,598 --> 00:02:30,598
I'm just messing with you.
66
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,866
I totally love them
more than you.
67
00:02:32,868 --> 00:02:34,568
I get that.
68
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:36,237
I would take a bullet for them.
69
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:40,708
But I would get seriously
mutilated for you.
70
00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:42,309
That's sweet.
71
00:02:42,311 --> 00:02:44,345
But you should know,
if you got seriously mutilated,
72
00:02:44,347 --> 00:02:47,810
I might dump you.
73
00:02:47,830 --> 00:02:48,515
You'd be crazy not to.
74
00:02:48,517 --> 00:02:50,784
Even unmutilated,
I'm no prize.
75
00:02:53,356 --> 00:02:56,123
You know, I'm really happy
with our wedding date.
76
00:02:56,125 --> 00:02:59,760
The month squared equals the
square of the sum of the members
77
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,829
of the set of prime factors
of the day.
78
00:03:01,831 --> 00:03:04,632
Isn't that romantic?
79
00:03:04,634 --> 00:03:06,500
Yes, it's like
that Shakespeare sonnet,
80
00:03:06,502 --> 00:03:08,350
“Shall I compare thee to a day
81
00:03:08,370 --> 00:03:10,604
that's also a really weird
math problem.”
82
00:03:12,740 --> 00:03:13,240
It's a shame you're joking.
83
00:03:13,242 --> 00:03:15,909
That'd be a lovely reading
at our ceremony.
84
00:03:15,911 --> 00:03:18,112
Well, we only have
two months to find a venue,
85
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:19,546
and I had a thought.
86
00:03:19,548 --> 00:03:22,490
What about the Athenaeum club
at Caltech?
87
00:03:22,510 --> 00:03:24,985
Albert Einstein
was a member there.
88
00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,120
It's beautiful.
Yeah,
89
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,689
and Albert Einstein
was a member there.
90
00:03:28,691 --> 00:03:29,857
It's close.
91
00:03:29,859 --> 00:03:32,259
And Albert Einstein
was a member there.
92
00:03:32,261 --> 00:03:34,528
And Albert Einstein
was a member there.
93
00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:35,809
Ah.
94
00:03:35,810 --> 00:03:38,430
Now you sound like a woman
who wants to get married.
95
00:03:39,513 --> 00:03:40,713
So you're interested?
96
00:03:40,715 --> 00:03:41,880
Oh, of course.
97
00:03:41,882 --> 00:03:43,882
Yeah, but that club
is extremely exclusive.
98
00:03:43,884 --> 00:03:45,884
You know, Leonard's been trying
to get us in there for years,
99
00:03:45,886 --> 00:03:47,520
but no luck.
100
00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:48,520
Well, that's odd.
101
00:03:48,522 --> 00:03:50,689
When I called, they said they'd
be excited to give us a tour.
102
00:03:50,691 --> 00:03:51,991
Well, I suppose
we can give it a look,
103
00:03:51,993 --> 00:03:54,260
and if it doesn't work out,
I hear that there is
104
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:58,464
a nearby Chinese restaurant
that Einstein used to frequent.
105
00:03:58,466 --> 00:04:02,100
Or, we pick a place we like,
106
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:04,136
and don't worry about Einstein.
107
00:04:04,138 --> 00:04:07,506
Boy, reality TV is right;
brides are crazy.
108
00:04:10,811 --> 00:04:13,379
So, how has it been,
being home with two kids?
109
00:04:13,381 --> 00:04:16,382
Oh, tiring, but super rewarding.
110
00:04:16,384 --> 00:04:19,551
Oh, like Pilates, yeah, got it.
111
00:04:19,553 --> 00:04:23,355
Honestly, it's gonna be hard
when we both go back to work.
112
00:04:23,357 --> 00:04:25,391
I've been thinking
maybe it would be better
113
00:04:25,393 --> 00:04:28,761
if one of us decided
to stay home.
114
00:04:28,763 --> 00:04:33,298
I don't know, I was raised
by servants, and look at me.
115
00:04:34,402 --> 00:04:35,734
I literally can't tell
116
00:04:35,736 --> 00:04:37,469
if you think that's good or bad.
117
00:04:37,471 --> 00:04:40,105
Well, on one hand, they filled
my tub with scented oils
118
00:04:40,107 --> 00:04:42,107
and brought me honeyed sweets;
on the other hand,
119
00:04:42,109 --> 00:04:44,510
I spent my twenties incapable
of talking to women.
120
00:04:44,512 --> 00:04:48,914
So you know, pros and cons.
121
00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:51,350
Here's my dilemma:
122
00:04:51,352 --> 00:04:53,419
I...
kind of want to stay home.
123
00:04:53,421 --> 00:04:56,588
But Bernadette is a way better
parent than I am.
124
00:04:56,590 --> 00:04:58,290
Wait, does Bernadette want
to stay home?
125
00:04:58,292 --> 00:05:00,359
I don't know. She's really
invested in her career,
126
00:05:00,361 --> 00:05:02,127
and she's doing great.
127
00:05:02,129 --> 00:05:03,929
I think it should be me.
128
00:05:03,931 --> 00:05:06,650
Wow, I admire you, Howard.
129
00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:07,366
I-It would be hard for me
130
00:05:07,368 --> 00:05:10,936
to buck traditional gender roles
like that.
131
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:16,410
Didn't you see Taylor Swift
twice this month?
132
00:05:17,378 --> 00:05:21,680
Yeah, because she's hot,
not because she sings my truth.
133
00:05:24,118 --> 00:05:27,719
Did Albert Einstein ever sit
in any of these chairs?
134
00:05:27,721 --> 00:05:29,188
I think these are fairly new.
135
00:05:29,190 --> 00:05:31,223
But Stephen Hawking's
eaten here a lot.
136
00:05:31,225 --> 00:05:34,126
Yeah, but he brings
his own chair, you know?
137
00:05:35,729 --> 00:05:37,663
Well, it seems kind of perfect,
138
00:05:37,665 --> 00:05:39,131
and it's close enough
to your office,
139
00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:40,833
so you can use the
bathroom you like.
140
00:05:40,835 --> 00:05:43,569
Mm. I put a sticker
over the auto-flush,
141
00:05:43,571 --> 00:05:46,710
so it doesn't startle me.
142
00:05:47,808 --> 00:05:49,675
Here's my card.
Why don't you two talk it over,
143
00:05:49,677 --> 00:05:51,844
and I will check to see
if our soup spoons
144
00:05:51,846 --> 00:05:55,581
are “deeper than they are wide”"
145
00:05:56,717 --> 00:05:59,518
What? Too deep
is a ladle, not a spoon.
146
00:06:00,387 --> 00:06:02,754
I really like it.
147
00:06:02,756 --> 00:06:05,570
Mm. Oh, I must admit,
I do, as well.
148
00:06:05,590 --> 00:06:08,427
I-- look at how somber all
the men in these portraits are.
149
00:06:08,429 --> 00:06:10,629
I feel like that sets
a good tone for our wedding.
150
00:06:11,966 --> 00:06:13,599
Is that Leonard?
151
00:06:13,601 --> 00:06:17,350
Oh, no, no, these are all dead,
accomplished scientists.
152
00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:20,405
Leonard will only ever be
one of those things.
153
00:06:20,407 --> 00:06:25,177
I mean, Leonard and Penny
are right there.
154
00:06:25,179 --> 00:06:27,846
But he told me he checked on
our membership just last week,
155
00:06:27,848 --> 00:06:30,849
and we were
still 400th in line.
156
00:06:30,851 --> 00:06:33,152
I'm sure there's
an innocent explanation
157
00:06:33,154 --> 00:06:35,320
that won't ruin my day at all.
158
00:06:36,190 --> 00:06:37,222
Leonard.
159
00:06:37,224 --> 00:06:38,357
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
160
00:06:38,359 --> 00:06:39,424
How did you get in here?
161
00:06:39,426 --> 00:06:41,493
What do you mean?
Leonard's a member.
162
00:06:42,329 --> 00:06:45,970
You told me
it was incredibly exclusive.
163
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:48,934
Y-Yeah, look, about that,
I lied.
164
00:06:50,171 --> 00:06:51,539
Hey, wait, you told me
it was exclusive, too.
165
00:06:51,563 --> 00:06:52,238
Mm-hmm.
166
00:06:52,239 --> 00:06:56,508
I avoided him and impressed you,
all with the same lie.
167
00:06:56,510 --> 00:06:58,710
Damn, Hofstadter, didn't
think you had it in you.
168
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,514
Well, I'm not sure I know
how I feel about this place now.
169
00:07:02,516 --> 00:07:04,820
Then don't turn around.
170
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:06,218
Cooper!
171
00:07:09,290 --> 00:07:12,240
Oh, good, you're here.
172
00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:13,525
There's...
something
173
00:07:13,527 --> 00:07:15,394
I want to talk to you about.
174
00:07:15,396 --> 00:07:17,196
We're not putting a TV
in the bathroom.
175
00:07:17,198 --> 00:07:19,640
That's how you get hemorrhoids.
176
00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:22,670
No, this is important.
177
00:07:22,690 --> 00:07:25,204
Uh, I was thinking
maybe one of us should
178
00:07:25,206 --> 00:07:27,239
stay home full-time,
with the kids.
179
00:07:27,241 --> 00:07:29,341
Oh great,
so I have to give up my job
180
00:07:29,343 --> 00:07:31,476
and everything I've worked for?
181
00:07:31,478 --> 00:07:34,279
Actually, I was thinking
I should stay home.
182
00:07:34,281 --> 00:07:36,515
Oh, so I have to abandon
my children and go back to work,
183
00:07:36,517 --> 00:07:39,351
while you get to stay home
and bond with them?
184
00:07:39,353 --> 00:07:42,521
You just said
you didn't want to.
185
00:07:42,523 --> 00:07:47,359
No, I don't want to have to, but
if I want to, I should get to.
186
00:07:48,963 --> 00:07:50,950
Do you want to?
187
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,497
Maybe I do.
188
00:07:52,499 --> 00:07:54,499
What if I also want to?
189
00:07:54,501 --> 00:07:56,134
Well, I don't know, we can't
190
00:07:56,136 --> 00:07:57,269
both stay home.
191
00:07:57,271 --> 00:07:59,471
Don't you think
you should go back to work,
192
00:07:59,473 --> 00:08:01,440
because you make more money?
193
00:08:01,442 --> 00:08:03,575
Don't you think
you should make more money?
194
00:08:05,112 --> 00:08:06,612
I think it's pretty sexist
of you to say
195
00:08:06,614 --> 00:08:09,281
a dad can't stay home
with his children.
196
00:08:09,283 --> 00:08:11,750
You know what else is sexist,
the phrase “suck it,”
197
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:13,752
yet, here we are.
198
00:08:16,290 --> 00:08:19,324
I can't believe
Leonard lied to me.
199
00:08:19,326 --> 00:08:20,959
What are we gonna
find out next,
200
00:08:20,961 --> 00:08:24,630
that he's not really
lactose intolerant, hmm?
201
00:08:24,632 --> 00:08:28,634
He's just friends with
an invisible trumpet player?
202
00:08:28,636 --> 00:08:32,204
I know you're upset, but if
we want to book the Athenaeum,
203
00:08:32,206 --> 00:08:34,773
we really should do it
now, and then, I promise,
204
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:38,944
we'll have our whole lives
to complain about Leonard.
205
00:08:38,946 --> 00:08:43,649
Aw, somebody got a
head start on her vows.
206
00:08:43,651 --> 00:08:44,816
So do we agree?
207
00:08:44,818 --> 00:08:46,351
Do we want to get married there?
208
00:08:46,353 --> 00:08:47,919
I don't know.
209
00:08:47,921 --> 00:08:49,288
I mean, Einstein was a member.
210
00:08:49,290 --> 00:08:50,455
I like that.
211
00:08:50,457 --> 00:08:51,723
You know? But...
212
00:08:51,725 --> 00:08:56,295
Leonard's a member,
and that really steams my clams.
213
00:08:56,297 --> 00:08:57,562
Oh, I love it
when you're folksy.
214
00:08:57,564 --> 00:08:59,731
I'm just gonna call.
215
00:08:59,733 --> 00:09:02,501
On the other hand, shaming
Leonard during our wedding
216
00:09:02,503 --> 00:09:04,690
at the very place he betrayed me
217
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:08,307
does have
a beautiful symmetry to it.
218
00:09:08,309 --> 00:09:11,443
That's nice, it'll be your first
petty act as a married man.
219
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,480
Uh-- oh, hi, Kathleen?
220
00:09:15,482 --> 00:09:17,516
Yeah, this is Amy from earlier.
221
00:09:17,518 --> 00:09:21,530
I'd like to go ahead
and reserve May 12.
222
00:09:21,550 --> 00:09:22,487
Although, it is our wedding.
223
00:09:22,489 --> 00:09:26,491
I-- maybe it shouldn't be
all about revenge.
224
00:09:26,493 --> 00:09:28,660
Oh, I see.
225
00:09:28,662 --> 00:09:31,496
Okay, t-thanks.
226
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,567
Someone booked our date.
227
00:09:35,569 --> 00:09:36,735
Uh... What?
228
00:09:36,737 --> 00:09:38,570
Who?
229
00:09:38,572 --> 00:09:41,506
Well, well, well.
230
00:09:42,943 --> 00:09:45,577
This is a pickle.
231
00:09:45,579 --> 00:09:47,346
Yes, so,
232
00:09:47,348 --> 00:09:49,581
if you will just move
your birthday party
233
00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:52,684
to a different location,
everything will be fine.
234
00:09:52,686 --> 00:09:54,553
Ugh, i-it's tricky.
235
00:09:54,555 --> 00:09:55,987
I don't want to move my party,
236
00:09:55,989 --> 00:09:57,756
but I also don't want
to help you--
237
00:09:57,758 --> 00:10:00,492
oh, wait,
I don't have a problem.
238
00:10:01,729 --> 00:10:03,729
No. I do.
239
00:10:03,731 --> 00:10:05,864
Yeah, you do.
240
00:10:09,722 --> 00:10:11,555
Morning.
241
00:10:11,557 --> 00:10:13,124
Hey, where you been?
242
00:10:13,126 --> 00:10:14,458
Oh, nowhere special.
243
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:16,270
Just the park,
the farmer's market,
244
00:10:16,290 --> 00:10:17,628
then we hopped on the Gold Line
to Chinatown
245
00:10:17,630 --> 00:10:19,297
because it's important
for the kids
246
00:10:19,299 --> 00:10:21,232
to experience other cultures.
247
00:10:21,234 --> 00:10:23,167
What have you been doing?
248
00:10:23,169 --> 00:10:25,703
It's 8:00 a.m. Sleeping.
249
00:10:25,705 --> 00:10:27,338
Oh. So are the kids.
250
00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:28,572
I guess they take after you.
251
00:10:31,477 --> 00:10:34,345
You're just trying to prove that
you'd do a better job than me.
252
00:10:34,347 --> 00:10:38,482
You're pretty sharp
having just woken up.
253
00:10:38,484 --> 00:10:41,719
Howard, we both know
you can't keep up this pace.
254
00:10:41,721 --> 00:10:44,889
By this afternoon you're gonna
be passed out on the couch
255
00:10:44,891 --> 00:10:47,491
and I'm gonna have three
exhausted babies to deal with.
256
00:10:47,493 --> 00:10:49,293
Not true. I got this.
257
00:10:49,295 --> 00:10:52,290
You know, in fact, why don't you
take the day off?
258
00:10:52,310 --> 00:10:54,465
Mm, fine. Maybe I'll have lunch
with Penny.
259
00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:56,400
Take your time.
260
00:10:56,402 --> 00:10:57,702
Get a massage.
261
00:10:57,704 --> 00:11:01,238
You deserve it after all
the sleep you've been getting.
262
00:11:03,643 --> 00:11:05,710
Maybe Barry will
change his mind.
263
00:11:05,712 --> 00:11:07,611
Hmm? Oh, I doubt it.
264
00:11:07,613 --> 00:11:09,347
I said some pretty
unprofessional things
265
00:11:09,349 --> 00:11:10,381
about his work.
266
00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:13,818
I may have even used
the “S” word.
267
00:11:13,820 --> 00:11:17,388
Subpar?
268
00:11:17,390 --> 00:11:21,425
I'm not proud of it, Amy,
but I have a temper.
269
00:11:21,427 --> 00:11:23,828
Well, I suppose we could pick
a different date.
270
00:11:23,830 --> 00:11:25,996
Well, it took you nine months
to choose that one.
271
00:11:25,998 --> 00:11:27,765
I'll pick a different husband
first.
272
00:11:30,970 --> 00:11:34,772
Hey, I-I just, I wanted to
apologize about the Athenaeum.
273
00:11:34,774 --> 00:11:36,107
Why did you lie to me?
274
00:11:36,109 --> 00:11:37,241
I don't know.
275
00:11:37,243 --> 00:11:38,943
It just seemed funny at first
276
00:11:38,945 --> 00:11:42,313
and then the longer it went on,
funnier it got.
277
00:11:43,783 --> 00:11:46,450
So, yeah, I guess that's why.
278
00:11:47,754 --> 00:11:49,220
That's not much of an apology.
279
00:11:49,222 --> 00:11:51,550
Yeah, because he's not
really sorry.
280
00:11:51,570 --> 00:11:53,891
Obviously, he wanted a place
to go where I wouldn't be
281
00:11:53,893 --> 00:11:58,620
and apparently all of outside
wasn't enough for him.
282
00:11:58,640 --> 00:11:59,630
Come on. I-I do feel bad.
283
00:11:59,632 --> 00:12:01,467
Why? Did your best friend
hurt your feelings?
284
00:12:01,491 --> 00:12:02,834
Come on-- Sheldon.
285
00:12:02,835 --> 00:12:04,869
Look, I only have time to deal
with one jerk right now
286
00:12:04,871 --> 00:12:07,710
and that's Barry Kripke.
What?
287
00:12:07,730 --> 00:12:09,306
He has the Athenaeum booked
for our wedding date
288
00:12:09,308 --> 00:12:10,641
and he won't give it up.
289
00:12:10,643 --> 00:12:13,310
Yeah, so if you could just
please leave before I get angry
290
00:12:13,312 --> 00:12:15,980
and say something I will regret
about your face, your height,
291
00:12:15,982 --> 00:12:18,849
your personal hygiene or
the fact that your science,
292
00:12:18,851 --> 00:12:22,186
while serviceable,
lacks panache.
293
00:12:22,188 --> 00:12:24,121
That's actually
one of the nicest things
294
00:12:24,123 --> 00:12:26,900
you've ever said about my work.
295
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:27,858
And now I regret it.
296
00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:29,460
Good-bye.
297
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:35,366
Hey. There you are.
298
00:12:35,368 --> 00:12:36,967
Yeah, I just wanted to stop in
and see my office
299
00:12:36,969 --> 00:12:38,269
before we went to lunch.
300
00:12:38,271 --> 00:12:40,438
Just a few more weeks,
you'll be back full-time, huh?
301
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,906
Yeah.
302
00:12:41,908 --> 00:12:44,842
Uh-oh. That wasn't
a happy “yeah.”
303
00:12:44,844 --> 00:12:48,412
That was a “Hey, Leonard, do you
want to go to the gym?” yeah.
304
00:12:48,414 --> 00:12:51,480
I've just been thinking
that maybe I'd rather
305
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,517
stay home with the kids
and be a mom.
306
00:12:53,519 --> 00:12:55,519
Wow. That's big.
307
00:12:55,521 --> 00:12:56,720
I know.
308
00:12:56,722 --> 00:12:58,856
Dr. Rostenkowski.
309
00:12:58,858 --> 00:13:00,157
I'm sorry, I didn't
know you were back.
310
00:13:00,159 --> 00:13:01,459
Oh, I'm not.
311
00:13:01,461 --> 00:13:02,827
I just came to meet Penny
for lunch.
312
00:13:02,829 --> 00:13:05,262
Is there anything I can get you?
Coffee? Water?
313
00:13:05,264 --> 00:13:07,965
No, I think we're just gonna...
Coffee sounds good.
314
00:13:07,967 --> 00:13:09,934
Cold brew, almond milk?
Perfect.
315
00:13:09,936 --> 00:13:13,504
Nothing-nothing for me.
316
00:13:13,506 --> 00:13:14,939
It's weird.
317
00:13:14,941 --> 00:13:16,974
I've been away so long
I don't miss any of this.
318
00:13:18,911 --> 00:13:20,444
Sorry to bother you.
319
00:13:20,446 --> 00:13:22,746
Dr. Lee heard you were here
and had a quick question.
320
00:13:22,748 --> 00:13:25,349
Fine. Put him on.
321
00:13:25,351 --> 00:13:27,510
Jerold, what's going on?
322
00:13:27,530 --> 00:13:29,553
Hope you're not screwing up
my research.
323
00:13:30,523 --> 00:13:32,890
You calling from a bike ride?
324
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:34,580
'Cause you're backpedaling hard.
325
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,193
All right, fine. E-mail it over.
I'll take a look.
326
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,366
Oh, sorry. Where were we?
327
00:13:42,368 --> 00:13:44,168
Love your kids.
Don't miss your job.
328
00:13:44,170 --> 00:13:46,700
Right, right.
329
00:13:46,939 --> 00:13:48,372
There's nothing in the world
330
00:13:48,374 --> 00:13:49,907
like holding your sleeping baby,
331
00:13:49,909 --> 00:13:52,109
knowing you make him
feel safe and then--
332
00:13:52,111 --> 00:13:54,512
Oh, good, you got
the little cookies I like.
333
00:13:54,514 --> 00:13:56,113
I wouldn't mind a cookie.
334
00:13:56,115 --> 00:13:58,148
And he's gone. Okay.
335
00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:07,925
Hey, Kripke.
336
00:14:07,927 --> 00:14:11,128
Hello, Hofstadter.
337
00:14:11,130 --> 00:14:12,463
Why are you cleaning that out
yourself?
338
00:14:12,465 --> 00:14:13,898
Don't you have grad students?
339
00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:18,200
Come on, I can't make my grad
students do every dirty job
340
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:22,390
or so I've been told in writing
by the head of Human Resources.
341
00:14:22,410 --> 00:14:26,100
Fair enough.
Uh, so, look,
342
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,546
I'm here to ask you
to give Sheldon and Amy
343
00:14:28,548 --> 00:14:30,481
the Athenaeum for their wedding.
344
00:14:32,251 --> 00:14:35,520
Why would I do that?
345
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:39,990
Because deep down, Barry,
you're a really good guy.
346
00:14:39,992 --> 00:14:43,930
But am I?
347
00:14:44,931 --> 00:14:47,965
Fine. What's it gonna take?
348
00:14:52,204 --> 00:14:55,500
Barry, I've come
to ask one more...
349
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:56,740
Leonard?
350
00:14:56,742 --> 00:14:58,576
Wh-Why are you
doing that?
351
00:14:58,578 --> 00:15:02,580
Because deep down
Barry is not a good guy.
352
00:15:02,582 --> 00:15:06,750
He's making you clean out
barrels of irradiated grease?
353
00:15:06,752 --> 00:15:09,520
Yeah.
354
00:15:09,522 --> 00:15:11,422
I made a deal with him
355
00:15:11,424 --> 00:15:14,224
to get you the Athenaeum
for your wedding.
356
00:15:14,226 --> 00:15:16,860
Why would you do that?
357
00:15:16,862 --> 00:15:20,631
Because I was a jerk
for lying to you before
358
00:15:20,633 --> 00:15:22,333
and besides,
you're my best friend.
359
00:15:22,335 --> 00:15:24,201
I want you to have
the wedding of your dreams.
360
00:15:24,203 --> 00:15:27,438
On Mars?
361
00:15:30,209 --> 00:15:33,544
Okay, I want Amy to have
the wedding of her dreams.
362
00:15:33,546 --> 00:15:36,146
Well, thank you.
363
00:15:36,148 --> 00:15:37,748
But I don't want
you to do this.
364
00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:38,716
No, it's okay.
365
00:15:38,718 --> 00:15:40,500
No, it's not.
366
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,286
We're not going
to let Barry win.
367
00:15:42,288 --> 00:15:43,587
Well, what are we going to do?
368
00:15:43,589 --> 00:15:46,790
We have a combined IQ of 360.
369
00:15:46,792 --> 00:15:50,361
Perhaps more if that radiation
gave you a super brain.
370
00:15:50,363 --> 00:15:52,997
You know what? You're right.
371
00:15:52,999 --> 00:15:56,600
If we work together we could
totally outsmart Barry Kripke.
372
00:16:04,777 --> 00:16:07,678
Leonard, my nose itches.
What do I do?
373
00:16:09,949 --> 00:16:12,116
Oh, boy.
374
00:16:12,118 --> 00:16:14,840
I really
passed out hard.
375
00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:15,252
Yeah, tell me about it.
376
00:16:15,254 --> 00:16:17,540
The kids could've screamed
bloody murder
377
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,256
and you wouldn't have woken up.
378
00:16:19,258 --> 00:16:21,659
Which I know because they did.
379
00:16:21,661 --> 00:16:24,161
I'm sorry.
380
00:16:24,163 --> 00:16:26,296
Why did I think I could
do this on my own?
381
00:16:26,298 --> 00:16:28,599
Hey, don't beat yourself up.
382
00:16:28,601 --> 00:16:29,967
Parenting is hard.
383
00:16:29,969 --> 00:16:32,302
Like, I've seen
and smelled things today
384
00:16:32,304 --> 00:16:34,872
that I cannot unsee or unsmell.
385
00:16:34,874 --> 00:16:38,800
Thanks for covering for me.
386
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,343
No, I mean he only drinks milk.
387
00:16:39,345 --> 00:16:42,813
Like, where are the colors
coming from?
388
00:16:44,684 --> 00:16:46,550
What time is it?
389
00:16:46,552 --> 00:16:48,719
Uh, it's almost 6:00.
390
00:16:48,721 --> 00:16:50,154
Okay. Bernadette's
gonna be home soon.
391
00:16:50,156 --> 00:16:51,422
We got to divide
and conquer.
392
00:16:51,424 --> 00:16:53,157
I'll make dinner.
You watch the kids.
393
00:16:53,159 --> 00:16:54,191
Uh, kids are asleep.
394
00:16:54,193 --> 00:16:56,660
Great, then you
make dinner.
395
00:16:58,998 --> 00:17:00,864
Hey, good news, Amy.
396
00:17:00,866 --> 00:17:02,499
We got the Athenaeum.
397
00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:03,734
Oh, my gosh.
398
00:17:03,736 --> 00:17:05,836
That's amazing.
399
00:17:05,838 --> 00:17:07,871
How'd you get Barry
to change his mind?
400
00:17:07,873 --> 00:17:09,640
Well, I couldn't have done it
without Leonard.
401
00:17:09,642 --> 00:17:11,108
Boy, you should've seen us
in there.
402
00:17:11,110 --> 00:17:13,510
We were like
Batman and Robin.
403
00:17:13,512 --> 00:17:16,146
Why do I have to be Robin?
404
00:17:16,148 --> 00:17:18,248
If you have to ask,
you're Robin.
405
00:17:19,552 --> 00:17:21,285
What happened?
406
00:17:21,287 --> 00:17:23,520
Well, we scrubbed out some
barrels of irradiated grease,
407
00:17:23,522 --> 00:17:25,550
rinsed off in
a safety shower
408
00:17:25,570 --> 00:17:28,225
and then told Barry
Kripke what is what.
409
00:17:28,227 --> 00:17:29,860
And he just gave in?
410
00:17:29,862 --> 00:17:31,929
Well, we agreed to invite him
to the wedding.
411
00:17:31,931 --> 00:17:33,897
Okay. No problem.
412
00:17:33,899 --> 00:17:35,399
- And he gets to bring a date.
- Yeah.
413
00:17:35,401 --> 00:17:36,734
Well, that's reasonable.
414
00:17:36,736 --> 00:17:40,571
A-And if she charges by
the hour, we have to cover it.
415
00:17:42,408 --> 00:17:44,274
What else did you agree to?
416
00:17:44,276 --> 00:17:49,790
Well, um, you know how Barry
has the voice of an angel?
417
00:17:49,810 --> 00:17:52,916
He is not singing
at our wedding.
418
00:17:52,918 --> 00:17:55,252
He only
wants to sing “Volare.”
419
00:17:55,254 --> 00:17:57,821
Oh, “Volare”.
420
00:17:59,125 --> 00:18:01,158
That's what he was saying.
421
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,627
Boy, I didn't, I
did not get that.
422
00:18:03,629 --> 00:18:06,663
Guys, I appreciate
everything you did,
423
00:18:06,665 --> 00:18:09,199
but we can find another location
that's just as good.
424
00:18:09,201 --> 00:18:12,202
Maybe the Japanese garden
or the planetarium.
425
00:18:12,204 --> 00:18:14,338
The planetarium.
426
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:15,773
I hadn't thought about that.
427
00:18:15,775 --> 00:18:17,141
That's even better.
428
00:18:17,143 --> 00:18:18,442
Wait, what?
429
00:18:18,444 --> 00:18:20,310
I scrubbed sludge for you.
430
00:18:20,312 --> 00:18:24,114
I may be
slightly radioactive.
431
00:18:24,116 --> 00:18:25,916
Oh, you're exaggerating.
432
00:18:25,918 --> 00:18:27,584
Don't let him touch
the silverware.
433
00:18:32,998 --> 00:18:35,465
Why is Raj asleep
on our couch?
434
00:18:35,467 --> 00:18:37,801
Oh. I needed some help
so he came by,
435
00:18:37,803 --> 00:18:39,369
played with the kids,
read them some stories,
436
00:18:39,371 --> 00:18:42,272
put them down for their nap
and made dinner.
437
00:18:42,274 --> 00:18:44,740
What'd you do?
438
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,376
Ate dinner.
439
00:18:46,378 --> 00:18:49,679
Okay, look, I don't
think I'm cut out
440
00:18:49,681 --> 00:18:50,947
to be a stay-at-home dad.
441
00:18:50,949 --> 00:18:54,351
And since you want to,
you should stay home.
442
00:18:54,353 --> 00:18:56,620
I-I do definitely want to,
443
00:18:56,622 --> 00:18:59,689
but I know how much this means
to you and it was just one day.
444
00:18:59,691 --> 00:19:02,325
So, don't give up.
445
00:19:02,327 --> 00:19:04,995
You don't want to
stay home, either.
446
00:19:04,997 --> 00:19:06,663
Do you?
447
00:19:06,665 --> 00:19:08,310
When I went by the office
they gave me
448
00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:10,467
coffee and cookies
and no one peed on me.
449
00:19:11,904 --> 00:19:14,704
I miss that so much.
450
00:19:14,706 --> 00:19:19,543
Well, I love the kids,
but I also love my job.
451
00:19:19,545 --> 00:19:21,978
And sleep.
452
00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:25,150
I know. I took a two-hour nap
on the couch in my office.
453
00:19:25,170 --> 00:19:28,118
I took a three-hour nap on
the floor in the living room.
454
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,530
How do you feel now?
455
00:19:30,550 --> 00:19:33,490
Honestly? Still tired.
456
00:19:33,492 --> 00:19:35,158
Me, too.
457
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,827
I love you.
458
00:19:36,829 --> 00:19:38,195
I love you, too.
459
00:19:38,197 --> 00:19:39,663
And we'll figure this all out.
460
00:19:39,665 --> 00:19:43,330
Yeah.
461
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,701
Everyone's asleep.
462
00:19:44,703 --> 00:19:48,371
You want to head
upstairs and...
463
00:19:48,373 --> 00:19:50,173
...you know.
464
00:19:50,175 --> 00:19:53,276
Let's just do it right here.
465
00:19:53,278 --> 00:19:55,212
Oh, oh, I like
the way you think.
466
00:19:57,956 --> 00:20:04,856
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
32008
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