Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:09,000
- Happy wedding day, girl!
- Thanks.
2
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:11,484
I've dreamt about this
day my whole life,
3
00:00:11,551 --> 00:00:15,037
and I can't wait to spend it
getting ready with all of you.
4
00:00:15,062 --> 00:00:18,882
I don't have any siblings due
to my mom's corn silo accident,
5
00:00:19,078 --> 00:00:22,150
but I've got you.
Thanks for being here for me.
6
00:00:22,175 --> 00:00:24,914
- Here's something old.
- Oh.
7
00:00:27,780 --> 00:00:30,187
I made them from petrified owl pellets.
8
00:00:30,718 --> 00:00:32,804
- Thank you.
- Here's something new.
9
00:00:33,203 --> 00:00:36,507
You've had the same tube of Carmex
since I met you five years ago.
10
00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,002
It's unsettling.
11
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:39,414
Thanks.
12
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:49,890
Uh, I wasn't aware there'd
be gifts since I was not
13
00:00:49,957 --> 00:00:51,991
on the email chain because
I'm not a bridesmaid,
14
00:00:52,058 --> 00:00:54,203
but, uh...
15
00:00:55,462 --> 00:00:57,698
Here, something borrowed.
16
00:00:57,882 --> 00:01:00,218
It's Tiffany's, hence the borrowed.
17
00:01:00,546 --> 00:01:01,701
I will need that back.
18
00:01:01,768 --> 00:01:04,237
- And here's something blue.
- Oh.
19
00:01:06,203 --> 00:01:09,109
Is... this lubricant?
20
00:01:09,562 --> 00:01:11,811
- Yeah.
- But it's not blue.
21
00:01:11,877 --> 00:01:13,906
It's for something blue.
22
00:01:14,389 --> 00:01:16,085
Hot Dad's balls.
23
00:01:19,001 --> 00:01:22,453
synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*
24
00:01:23,690 --> 00:01:25,179
Wow.
25
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,793
Look at these.
26
00:01:27,156 --> 00:01:29,129
I was still feeling sad
about not being chosen
27
00:01:29,196 --> 00:01:31,530
as a bridesmaid, but seeing your dresses
28
00:01:31,598 --> 00:01:33,351
makes me feel much better.
29
00:01:33,523 --> 00:01:36,536
- Get out of my way.
- Look who's here.
30
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:40,673
Meemaw, you made it!
31
00:01:41,945 --> 00:01:44,669
Love is patient.
32
00:01:45,093 --> 00:01:46,678
Love is kind.
33
00:01:46,703 --> 00:01:48,578
No, Mom. No, not yet.
34
00:01:48,781 --> 00:01:50,320
- Love is patient.
- No, the wedding's not
35
00:01:50,345 --> 00:01:52,601
- for a few hours, Mom.
- Love is kind.
36
00:01:52,626 --> 00:01:55,140
It's a tradition that my
mother reads from 1 Corinthians
37
00:01:55,165 --> 00:01:56,266
at family weddings.
38
00:01:56,291 --> 00:01:57,796
This might be her last wedding,
39
00:01:57,821 --> 00:02:00,468
so it's so special that
she's here to do the reading.
40
00:02:00,493 --> 00:02:04,226
Meemaw, I wanna introduce you
to the most important woman
41
00:02:04,251 --> 00:02:06,718
in my entire life, Chelsea Snap,
42
00:02:07,776 --> 00:02:09,289
and my other friends too.
43
00:02:09,532 --> 00:02:12,068
Chelsea, would you mind watching Meemaw
44
00:02:12,093 --> 00:02:13,320
while we get ready?
45
00:02:14,745 --> 00:02:16,882
I'm so sorry, but I can't.
46
00:02:17,359 --> 00:02:18,946
I'm allergic to whatever it is that
47
00:02:18,971 --> 00:02:20,828
makes old people smell the way they do.
48
00:02:21,904 --> 00:02:25,320
I'd love to help, but as the attendant,
49
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:28,375
I'll be too busy organizing
the towlettes for the bathroom.
50
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:35,205
- Can you?
- Okay, Meemaw.
51
00:02:35,350 --> 00:02:37,609
Looks like it's you and me today.
52
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:42,796
Just let me know
whatever it is you need.
53
00:02:42,821 --> 00:02:44,484
All right.
54
00:02:44,839 --> 00:02:45,867
- Mom.
- Yes?
55
00:02:45,892 --> 00:02:47,300
Why don't you come with
me so I can show you
56
00:02:47,325 --> 00:02:49,101
the finishing touches
they put on my dress?
57
00:02:49,863 --> 00:02:52,668
So where is Cecelia?
Did she go pick up the rings?
58
00:02:52,891 --> 00:02:55,453
Yes, but since it's the last day
59
00:02:55,478 --> 00:02:56,906
of teacher contract negotiations,
60
00:02:56,931 --> 00:02:58,289
she stopped by the protest.
61
00:02:58,483 --> 00:03:01,742
Salary cuts.
We won't take it, so don't ask.
62
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:03,920
We won't take it, so don't ask.
63
00:03:03,945 --> 00:03:06,117
We won't take it up the ass!
64
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:08,210
We won't take it up the ass!
65
00:03:08,235 --> 00:03:11,085
No, no, no, no! That's not what I said!
66
00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:12,507
I did not say that!
67
00:03:12,532 --> 00:03:14,898
I can't believe Cecelia's
late as a bridesmaid.
68
00:03:14,923 --> 00:03:17,158
It's like,
have some respect for your job.
69
00:03:17,218 --> 00:03:19,460
Speaking of, listen up, bridesmaids.
70
00:03:19,537 --> 00:03:21,812
Because I'm the most snatched
maid of honor ever...
71
00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:24,851
hashtag fact not fiction...
I booked an esthetician
72
00:03:24,876 --> 00:03:27,343
- to pamper us.
- Wow, thanks, Chelsea.
73
00:03:27,368 --> 00:03:28,468
I said bridesmaids.
74
00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:30,203
Who wants to go first?
75
00:03:30,309 --> 00:03:32,093
Okay, fine, I'll go.
76
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:34,048
Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay!
77
00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:35,742
She's such a beast.
78
00:03:37,881 --> 00:03:38,984
Where's Meemaw?
79
00:03:43,851 --> 00:03:45,553
- Hey, there he is.
- Hey.
80
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,328
The big guy himself.
81
00:03:47,542 --> 00:03:48,781
Pastor Ted.
82
00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:55,382
Okay, well, I'm... I'm gonna
start getting ready.
83
00:03:55,407 --> 00:03:56,774
Nope.
84
00:03:56,928 --> 00:03:59,460
They're exterminating in there.
It's very unsafe.
85
00:03:59,485 --> 00:04:02,113
But don't worry, you can use
my office to get dressed.
86
00:04:02,138 --> 00:04:03,806
Oh, that's okay,
I can just use the bathroom.
87
00:04:03,831 --> 00:04:08,523
Nope, the stalls in there are too small.
88
00:04:08,890 --> 00:04:10,742
Too hard to get legs into pants.
89
00:04:11,008 --> 00:04:12,078
It's gonna need to be my office.
90
00:04:12,111 --> 00:04:14,372
Come with me. Come on.
Come on, this way. This way.
91
00:04:21,017 --> 00:04:22,351
Oh, sorry, I wasn't clear.
92
00:04:22,376 --> 00:04:24,835
I need to use this room
as well to change so...
93
00:04:27,764 --> 00:04:28,898
Meemaw?
94
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:31,609
She can barely walk.
How far could she have gotten?
95
00:04:31,683 --> 00:04:34,679
Two summers ago, I saw
June Squip in a Zumba class.
96
00:04:34,854 --> 00:04:37,007
Old women can be deceptively spry.
97
00:04:37,857 --> 00:04:40,437
Meemaw? Oh, God.
98
00:04:40,558 --> 00:04:41,984
We can't be gone for much longer.
99
00:04:42,009 --> 00:04:44,125
Mary Louise is gonna wonder why
we're not getting ready with her.
100
00:04:49,241 --> 00:04:51,944
Okay, Caroline, we get it. You're white.
101
00:04:51,969 --> 00:04:53,515
- You love tennis.
- No, Deb.
102
00:04:53,540 --> 00:04:56,876
It's from Meemaw's walker.
Clearly I'm better at tracking.
103
00:04:56,937 --> 00:04:59,605
You go cover while I hunt
the old girl down.
104
00:05:02,899 --> 00:05:04,164
She's close.
105
00:05:04,447 --> 00:05:06,915
I... I've been trying to talk
her into more curls, you know?
106
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,500
Hey, hey, look at you two in your robes.
107
00:05:09,525 --> 00:05:11,179
There you are!
108
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:12,953
Where are the other girls?
109
00:05:13,473 --> 00:05:15,910
Caroline's making sure
that the altar is clean
110
00:05:15,935 --> 00:05:17,670
for the ceremony. You know how she is.
111
00:05:17,695 --> 00:05:20,898
Uh, Cecelia's polishing the rings,
112
00:05:20,923 --> 00:05:23,358
and Chelsea's with an esthetician.
113
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,562
- That one's actually true.
- Where's Meemaw?
114
00:05:28,868 --> 00:05:30,202
She's in the bathroom.
115
00:05:30,227 --> 00:05:32,640
I think she drank too many Ensures.
116
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:33,796
I hope she's okay.
117
00:05:33,821 --> 00:05:34,937
She's gotta do the reading later.
118
00:05:34,962 --> 00:05:36,781
Oh, no, stay here. She's fine.
119
00:05:36,806 --> 00:05:40,077
It's just a normal poop, not diarrhea.
120
00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:41,879
How do you know?
121
00:05:42,748 --> 00:05:44,976
I was in there for the beginning of it.
122
00:05:45,496 --> 00:05:48,999
And it, uh, was just
your average plopping,
123
00:05:49,024 --> 00:05:51,898
- not that running water noise.
- Debra.
124
00:05:53,326 --> 00:05:55,054
They aren't budging
on any of our demands.
125
00:05:55,118 --> 00:05:56,304
Unbelievable.
126
00:05:56,585 --> 00:05:57,594
Fascists.
127
00:05:57,619 --> 00:05:58,655
Step back, please.
128
00:05:58,902 --> 00:06:01,129
Excuse me, officer.
We're just trying to have a peaceful...
129
00:06:02,275 --> 00:06:03,645
- Get down!
- No!
130
00:06:06,493 --> 00:06:09,196
What did you just do?
131
00:06:10,533 --> 00:06:12,296
Meemaw? Are you in here?
132
00:06:13,035 --> 00:06:14,210
What's wrong?
133
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:18,992
Hello?
134
00:06:22,952 --> 00:06:24,078
Meemaw?
135
00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:29,953
I'm ruined!
136
00:06:30,526 --> 00:06:31,945
What happened?
137
00:06:32,706 --> 00:06:34,585
- She did.
- I'm so sorry!
138
00:06:34,610 --> 00:06:36,000
They didn't cover adverse reactions
139
00:06:36,025 --> 00:06:37,605
in the six-hour online course.
140
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:40,523
Oh, my God! Get out, get out, get out!
141
00:06:41,095 --> 00:06:44,218
Jesus. You got that from a facial?
142
00:06:44,243 --> 00:06:45,578
Yes!
143
00:06:46,409 --> 00:06:48,281
And a chemical peel, cupping,
144
00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:51,093
lipid cheek injections,
and some very basic Botox,
145
00:06:51,118 --> 00:06:53,288
but it shouldn't look like this!
146
00:06:53,512 --> 00:06:55,726
I can't walk down the aisle like this.
147
00:06:55,751 --> 00:06:57,203
Cancel the wedding!
148
00:06:57,228 --> 00:06:59,063
It's not your wedding to cancel.
149
00:06:59,088 --> 00:07:00,123
Now get it together.
150
00:07:00,148 --> 00:07:01,734
Mary Louise is waiting for us!
151
00:07:01,759 --> 00:07:04,226
Hey, I can hear you
all the way down the hall.
152
00:07:04,597 --> 00:07:05,799
We've got a problem.
153
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,335
Cecelia is in jail.
154
00:07:08,132 --> 00:07:10,250
Holy fuck, what is that thing?
155
00:07:10,474 --> 00:07:12,031
It's Chelsea.
156
00:07:15,743 --> 00:07:18,851
Chelsea, I'm sorry I called you a thing.
157
00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:22,234
It just took me a few seconds
to recognize you as a human.
158
00:07:22,266 --> 00:07:24,367
Leave me alone!
159
00:07:24,392 --> 00:07:26,294
Great, Chelsea won't come out,
160
00:07:26,394 --> 00:07:27,796
Cecelia's locked up with the rings,
161
00:07:27,821 --> 00:07:30,539
and Meemaw's gone AWOL.
Mary Louise is gonna freak.
162
00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:33,460
No, she's not because
she's not gonna find out.
163
00:07:33,485 --> 00:07:35,273
How? This day is screwed.
164
00:07:35,298 --> 00:07:38,375
Listen to me. I have been
a maid of honor 20 times,
165
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,468
and something always
goes awry on the big day.
166
00:07:40,758 --> 00:07:42,046
You keep looking for Meemaw.
167
00:07:42,156 --> 00:07:44,203
I'll call Kyle to see
if he can talk Chelsea out.
168
00:07:44,228 --> 00:07:47,976
What about Cecelia, hmm?
Her bail's $2,000.
169
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,054
I don't have that kind of cash,
and I know you don't.
170
00:07:50,079 --> 00:07:51,218
Rude.
171
00:07:52,262 --> 00:07:53,789
Okay, I'll work on getting the money.
172
00:07:53,814 --> 00:07:56,453
Just find Meemaw. She has a walker, Deb.
173
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,546
It's honestly embarrassing
we haven't found her yet.
174
00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:00,789
You know, I don't understand
why we have to have
175
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,367
this conversation in our underwear.
176
00:08:03,393 --> 00:08:06,062
Marriage is a really big decision,
177
00:08:06,537 --> 00:08:10,874
and I feel like there's some
kind of internal struggle
178
00:08:10,987 --> 00:08:13,398
- that you're dealing with.
- No.
179
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:17,445
Yeah, yeah, just an unstoppable desire.
180
00:08:18,195 --> 00:08:20,632
It's undulating beneath your skin.
181
00:08:20,828 --> 00:08:21,984
Ah!
182
00:08:22,009 --> 00:08:23,437
Oh, this is where the men are changing.
183
00:08:23,752 --> 00:08:25,031
You fellas have the right idea.
184
00:08:25,056 --> 00:08:26,304
Let's get out of these monkey suits
185
00:08:26,329 --> 00:08:27,757
for as long as we can, right?
186
00:08:27,910 --> 00:08:29,414
Oh, much better.
187
00:08:32,269 --> 00:08:33,375
How we doing?
188
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,125
Good.
189
00:08:41,891 --> 00:08:43,226
Meemaw?
190
00:08:57,692 --> 00:08:59,203
Meemaw?
191
00:09:02,557 --> 00:09:04,070
Is that communion wine?
192
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:05,304
Yes.
193
00:09:05,926 --> 00:09:07,109
I'm drunk.
194
00:09:07,828 --> 00:09:10,882
In fact, I'm pretty fucked up.
195
00:09:11,291 --> 00:09:13,265
- What about the reading?
- Relax.
196
00:09:14,651 --> 00:09:15,992
Love is...
197
00:09:18,998 --> 00:09:20,679
I'm gonna need a refill.
198
00:09:21,442 --> 00:09:23,984
Chelsea, I'm sure you're
still beautiful.
199
00:09:24,009 --> 00:09:26,132
- No, I'm a monster!
- Oh, my...
200
00:09:26,157 --> 00:09:27,773
Ah, hey! You can't...
201
00:09:28,346 --> 00:09:29,944
Chelsea, stop it!
202
00:09:31,169 --> 00:09:32,492
I'm coming in.
203
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:35,460
Okay.
204
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,078
Whoa!
205
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,835
I'll get ice, lots of ice.
206
00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:43,601
Baby?
207
00:09:45,309 --> 00:09:47,111
How am I supposed to get
the ice on my face?
208
00:09:47,317 --> 00:09:48,539
Chelsea?
209
00:09:48,737 --> 00:09:50,265
The other bridesmaids?
210
00:09:50,773 --> 00:09:51,867
Oh!
211
00:09:52,568 --> 00:09:55,303
- Congrats on your wedding.
- What are you doing?
212
00:09:55,409 --> 00:09:56,977
Why aren't you getting ready with me?
213
00:09:57,091 --> 00:10:02,000
She, uh... she's just... what
she's doing right now is,
214
00:10:02,025 --> 00:10:04,835
- she's, um...
- I'm putting my face on ice.
215
00:10:05,060 --> 00:10:07,363
It helps keep the skin tight.
216
00:10:07,388 --> 00:10:10,157
I wanna be extra tight
for your wedding, girl.
217
00:10:10,182 --> 00:10:11,617
Oh, okay, then.
218
00:10:11,642 --> 00:10:13,210
Well, just come back as soon as you can.
219
00:10:13,235 --> 00:10:15,003
In the meantime, keep chilling.
220
00:10:15,265 --> 00:10:17,179
Good one.
221
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,733
Does it look any better?
222
00:10:25,373 --> 00:10:28,007
Thank you for being here
for this blessed event.
223
00:10:29,259 --> 00:10:30,984
Okay, bye-bye, now.
224
00:10:35,599 --> 00:10:38,669
Crap, another
Bed Bath & Beyond gift card.
225
00:10:38,853 --> 00:10:40,921
That's like saying, "Here,
enjoy buying the same shit
226
00:10:40,946 --> 00:10:43,383
- you owned in college."
- Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo.
227
00:10:43,408 --> 00:10:44,703
Whoa!
228
00:10:45,249 --> 00:10:46,859
Okay, I found Meemaw,
229
00:10:46,967 --> 00:10:49,429
but she's more hammered
than Nick Nolte on the PCH.
230
00:10:49,454 --> 00:10:50,687
Fantastic.
231
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,406
Well, I've already opened up
all the cards,
232
00:10:52,431 --> 00:10:55,156
and we're still $500 short
of making Cecelia's bail.
233
00:10:58,405 --> 00:10:59,546
Oh, my God.
234
00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:07,757
Caroline, focus. We still need $500.
235
00:11:07,782 --> 00:11:08,916
How am I supposed to focus
236
00:11:08,941 --> 00:11:10,867
when I'm emotionally devastated, Deb?
237
00:11:10,892 --> 00:11:11,968
Fine!
238
00:11:12,077 --> 00:11:13,898
You go keep Mary Louise busy.
239
00:11:14,086 --> 00:11:16,655
I'll get some coffee to sober Meemaw up
240
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,593
and try to scrounge up
the rest of the cash.
241
00:11:19,581 --> 00:11:21,109
I... I can't use the bathroom.
242
00:11:21,193 --> 00:11:23,953
There's some burn victim
in there just screaming.
243
00:11:24,573 --> 00:11:25,674
All right.
244
00:11:26,116 --> 00:11:28,000
So now I'm selling bird cage furniture,
245
00:11:28,025 --> 00:11:30,460
little ladders and hoops
and bells and things like that.
246
00:11:30,485 --> 00:11:31,531
Hey, sorry to interrupt.
247
00:11:31,556 --> 00:11:33,123
John-Paul, you don't have
anything else you should be
248
00:11:33,148 --> 00:11:34,351
- doing right now?
- No, no.
249
00:11:34,376 --> 00:11:35,937
These days are more for the women.
250
00:11:37,024 --> 00:11:38,195
Hey, there he is.
251
00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:40,218
Matthew-John, Paul-Luke, come on in.
252
00:11:40,372 --> 00:11:41,806
This is where the guys
are getting ready.
253
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:43,523
Take off your pants
and relax for a while.
254
00:11:43,548 --> 00:11:44,816
Oh, thank God.
255
00:11:45,041 --> 00:11:47,617
So nowadays it's more
than just little ladders
256
00:11:47,642 --> 00:11:50,304
and bells and hoops and stuff
like that for birds.
257
00:11:50,523 --> 00:11:53,132
They have all kinds of little,
like, dollhouse furniture.
258
00:11:53,157 --> 00:11:54,539
The stuff is very exciting.
259
00:11:55,216 --> 00:11:56,552
Hi, ladies.
260
00:11:56,775 --> 00:11:58,835
Finally, one of you is back.
261
00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:01,093
That altar must have been filthy.
262
00:12:01,685 --> 00:12:03,867
Caroline, what's wrong?
263
00:12:04,179 --> 00:12:05,320
Nothing.
264
00:12:05,359 --> 00:12:07,179
You look like you've been crying.
265
00:12:07,228 --> 00:12:08,984
Okay, I have been.
266
00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:13,242
I just keep thinking about how
beautiful this all is, you know,
267
00:12:14,256 --> 00:12:16,914
and how gorgeous you'll look
walking down the aisle
268
00:12:17,381 --> 00:12:20,226
and what an amazing day this will be,
269
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,750
and that is why I'm crying.
270
00:12:24,651 --> 00:12:26,710
And Jesus will be there.
271
00:12:28,485 --> 00:12:31,898
Now you've got me crying. Oh, honey.
272
00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:34,976
- He will.
- Oh, Jesus!
273
00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:37,476
- Praise You, Jesus!
- Oh, Jesus!
274
00:12:37,501 --> 00:12:39,503
Yes, thank you, Jesus!
275
00:12:39,528 --> 00:12:40,601
I mean, Jesus Christ!
276
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:42,164
- Jesus!
- Jesus!
277
00:12:42,189 --> 00:12:44,289
- Oh, my God!
- Thank You, Jesus!
278
00:12:44,337 --> 00:12:45,945
Hello, wedding guests.
279
00:12:46,246 --> 00:12:48,023
Can I have your attention, please?
280
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:49,960
Hello?
281
00:12:52,837 --> 00:12:56,929
We are asking for donations
today for the maid of honor,
282
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,453
Chelsea Snap.
283
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:04,812
She was in a terrible fire
at a Forever 21,
284
00:13:04,837 --> 00:13:07,806
and she saved all the
shoppers before herself.
285
00:13:07,923 --> 00:13:10,394
She even still has part of a crop top
286
00:13:10,419 --> 00:13:12,621
permanently melted into her back.
287
00:13:12,646 --> 00:13:13,775
Oh, it's awful,
288
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,046
- awful, awful, awful, awful.
- Yeah, it really is.
289
00:13:16,237 --> 00:13:19,429
So won't you please consider
making a contribution today
290
00:13:19,454 --> 00:13:22,304
to help Chelsea pay
for all of the skin grafts?
291
00:13:25,907 --> 00:13:27,531
Five bucks? You cheapskate.
292
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:28,859
She needs a new face.
293
00:13:29,757 --> 00:13:31,609
Looks like a pizza without cheese.
294
00:13:37,479 --> 00:13:38,787
It's really over.
295
00:13:39,093 --> 00:13:42,437
I always held out hope that
someday we'd end up together,
296
00:13:42,462 --> 00:13:45,781
but he's obviously moved on.
297
00:13:46,807 --> 00:13:49,468
At least it's your life
and not your face.
298
00:13:49,493 --> 00:13:51,500
Chelsea, you're gonna be fine.
299
00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:54,398
Do you think I'll be fine?
300
00:13:55,455 --> 00:13:56,690
Uh...
301
00:13:57,007 --> 00:13:59,077
Oh, my God!
302
00:13:59,781 --> 00:14:01,101
Cecelia, help, help!
303
00:14:01,126 --> 00:14:03,262
- I am, I am.
- Okay, okay.
304
00:14:03,287 --> 00:14:04,585
All right, get this door.
305
00:14:04,847 --> 00:14:07,812
Okay, we got the rings...
I mean, Cecelia.
306
00:14:08,294 --> 00:14:10,835
Uh, now, everybody,
pull yourselves together.
307
00:14:10,885 --> 00:14:13,750
I can't. I'm nothing to him!
308
00:14:13,775 --> 00:14:15,110
Does this church have Wi-Fi?
309
00:14:15,135 --> 00:14:16,562
I need to get an update
on the negotiations.
310
00:14:16,587 --> 00:14:19,457
Uh, yeah, uh, the network
is I heart Jesus,
311
00:14:19,482 --> 00:14:21,585
and the password is get
your head out of your ass.
312
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,745
- Now, move!
- Hello?
313
00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:25,093
- Oh!
- Is anybody in here?
314
00:14:25,118 --> 00:14:26,976
Oh, you can't see us like this.
315
00:14:32,273 --> 00:14:34,387
You guys, what is going on?
316
00:14:34,412 --> 00:14:36,882
I've barely seen any of you all day.
317
00:14:37,506 --> 00:14:39,073
Sorry, bride-to-be.
318
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,429
We decided we wanted to wait
for you to see us
319
00:14:41,454 --> 00:14:42,822
until the ceremony.
320
00:14:43,106 --> 00:14:44,843
We thought it would be a nice surprise.
321
00:14:44,868 --> 00:14:46,843
So don't you dare come in here.
322
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:48,671
I'm glad you explained.
323
00:14:49,071 --> 00:14:51,039
I was starting to get pretty PO'ed.
324
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,671
You guys are so important to me.
325
00:14:55,445 --> 00:14:58,147
It's not about the hair, the makeup,
326
00:14:58,172 --> 00:14:59,804
the rings, or the dresses.
327
00:15:00,556 --> 00:15:02,015
It's about each of you,
328
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,437
'cause this day wouldn't be
the same without all of you.
329
00:15:07,958 --> 00:15:10,835
Okay, I don't wanna cry
all my makeup off.
330
00:15:11,385 --> 00:15:12,640
I'm leaving.
331
00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:16,804
Okay, everyone.
332
00:15:16,829 --> 00:15:18,367
I lost my chill for a minute there,
333
00:15:18,392 --> 00:15:19,429
but I am back.
334
00:15:19,454 --> 00:15:21,023
My little Christian
is getting married today,
335
00:15:21,048 --> 00:15:22,350
and we are not gonna let her down.
336
00:15:22,375 --> 00:15:24,359
Kyle, go grab our clothes and makeup.
337
00:15:24,442 --> 00:15:27,031
Caroline, wipe away your tears
and get to your post.
338
00:15:27,078 --> 00:15:28,765
Cecelia, take a whore's bath.
339
00:15:28,790 --> 00:15:31,218
And, Meemaw, have you ever
heard of drunken IV?
340
00:15:31,285 --> 00:15:33,492
We are gonna get you sober in no time.
341
00:15:33,969 --> 00:15:35,265
It's go time!
342
00:15:36,564 --> 00:15:39,164
- Caroline...
- I can't talk right now.
343
00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:40,726
I'm not a common guest like you.
344
00:15:40,751 --> 00:15:42,053
I'm a wedding attendant.
345
00:15:42,078 --> 00:15:44,815
I'm in charge of very important
things like the mints.
346
00:15:45,348 --> 00:15:48,406
I saw you crying earlier.
Is everything all right?
347
00:15:48,499 --> 00:15:50,359
Do you have any idea how badly it hurt
348
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,265
not to be asked
to be in my friend's wedding,
349
00:15:52,383 --> 00:15:55,171
and then on top of that to
have my ex-boyfriend saunter in
350
00:15:55,196 --> 00:15:56,828
with the human equivalent of a Barbie?
351
00:15:56,853 --> 00:15:58,531
Are you referring to Brenda?
352
00:15:58,604 --> 00:15:59,704
Brenda?
353
00:16:00,005 --> 00:16:01,789
At least there's something
ugly about her.
354
00:16:01,824 --> 00:16:03,859
We're not romantically involved.
355
00:16:03,884 --> 00:16:06,062
- Okay.
- She's my neighbor.
356
00:16:06,386 --> 00:16:09,265
She's a lesbian athleisure
fashion designer.
357
00:16:10,561 --> 00:16:12,101
- Ooh.
- But even if we were,
358
00:16:12,126 --> 00:16:13,226
why would you care?
359
00:16:13,329 --> 00:16:15,367
You made it clear
there was no future for us
360
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,281
when you didn't respond to my card.
361
00:16:17,306 --> 00:16:18,359
What card?
362
00:16:18,454 --> 00:16:20,757
The valentine I left on your desk.
363
00:16:21,364 --> 00:16:23,171
I never got a valentine.
364
00:16:23,948 --> 00:16:25,898
Then you don't know what I wrote?
365
00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:29,992
I told you I wanted
to get back together.
366
00:16:30,668 --> 00:16:32,359
As in past tense?
367
00:16:32,952 --> 00:16:34,031
I still do.
368
00:16:36,885 --> 00:16:38,085
Me too.
369
00:16:44,611 --> 00:16:45,773
Do you know the only thing
370
00:16:45,798 --> 00:16:47,390
that would make me happier right now?
371
00:16:47,415 --> 00:16:49,617
- A butterfly nature walk?
- Yes.
372
00:16:49,961 --> 00:16:53,648
But also you being in that
wedding like you deserve.
373
00:16:54,851 --> 00:16:55,914
Here you go.
374
00:16:55,939 --> 00:16:58,125
You can watch Netflix on my phone,
375
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:02,023
and you can have as much
of this chocolate as you want.
376
00:17:02,299 --> 00:17:03,656
Bye-bye.
377
00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:47,320
Love does not delight in
evil but rejoices with truth
378
00:17:47,429 --> 00:17:48,906
and always...
379
00:17:56,019 --> 00:17:58,821
Serve... Servaperes.
380
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:04,328
I just threw up in my mouth
a little bit.
381
00:18:07,621 --> 00:18:08,755
Mary Louise...
382
00:18:10,537 --> 00:18:12,039
I take you as my wife.
383
00:18:12,864 --> 00:18:15,867
I vow to share my life
and everything with you.
384
00:18:16,253 --> 00:18:18,188
You are my prayers answered.
385
00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:34,132
And your friend was arrested.
386
00:18:34,292 --> 00:18:36,429
You know, the one who
smells like Fritos.
387
00:18:37,245 --> 00:18:41,101
And your headband friend
stole all the wedding money.
388
00:18:41,293 --> 00:18:45,390
And then your burn victim
friend collected donations.
389
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,937
Gotcha! Okay.
390
00:18:52,776 --> 00:18:54,945
You know your face always
looks perfect to me,
391
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:56,538
no matter how disfigured it is.
392
00:18:56,563 --> 00:18:57,734
Mmm.
393
00:18:58,465 --> 00:19:01,656
Oh, I'm still a little
too sensitive there.
394
00:19:01,681 --> 00:19:02,882
I'm so sorry.
395
00:19:03,035 --> 00:19:05,404
But there's one place I wasn't injected.
396
00:19:07,496 --> 00:19:10,570
Chelsea, I know what you did.
397
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:12,453
You do?
398
00:19:12,763 --> 00:19:16,000
You toned down your makeup
so I would shine.
399
00:19:16,203 --> 00:19:18,875
You truly are my best friend.
400
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,461
What the...
401
00:19:24,023 --> 00:19:26,945
You looked so beautiful
walking down the aisle today,
402
00:19:26,970 --> 00:19:28,005
Care Bear.
403
00:19:28,030 --> 00:19:30,093
Thanks for taking charge like that.
404
00:19:30,523 --> 00:19:32,132
Thanks for letting me.
405
00:19:33,012 --> 00:19:34,245
I love you.
406
00:19:34,429 --> 00:19:35,757
I love you too.
407
00:19:48,571 --> 00:19:49,781
Ladies and gentlemen,
408
00:19:49,806 --> 00:19:52,539
it is now time
for the couple's first dance.
409
00:20:02,474 --> 00:20:04,943
We did it, you guys.
Our girl got married,
410
00:20:04,968 --> 00:20:07,007
and she didn't even know
what a hot mess it was.
411
00:20:09,351 --> 00:20:12,226
Ladies, we're on strike.
412
00:20:17,126 --> 00:20:18,382
Don't tell her.
413
00:20:18,529 --> 00:20:19,968
Let her get screwed by Hot Dad
414
00:20:19,993 --> 00:20:22,179
before she finds out
she got screwed by the state.
415
00:20:22,604 --> 00:20:24,601
Show him your titties!
416
00:20:26,427 --> 00:20:27,757
Your tits.
417
00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:29,194
Meemaw!
418
00:21:09,009 --> 00:21:11,062
synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*
29869
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
