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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,048
And another one bites the dust!
Adrian Horner just confessed.
2
00:00:04,048 --> 00:00:05,076
Yes!
3
00:00:06,084 --> 00:00:08,004
Come on!
4
00:00:08,004 --> 00:00:09,044
You either got it or you don't,
5
00:00:09,044 --> 00:00:11,000
you know what I mean?
6
00:00:14,064 --> 00:00:15,080
What is that?
7
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,040
From downstairs.
8
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,048
There's a pair of con artists doing
the rounds.
9
00:00:19,048 --> 00:00:21,036
And, well, I'm busy, so...
10
00:00:21,036 --> 00:00:22,060
What?!
11
00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:25,008
Can't Tyler do it?
I just closed the Cheney case.
12
00:00:26,052 --> 00:00:29,056
You know what Frank Hathaway used to
say to me?
13
00:00:29,056 --> 00:00:32,048
"Rest on your laurels
and you'll get piles."
14
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:36,064
All right, what've we got?
15
00:00:36,064 --> 00:00:38,084
Half a dozen complaints in the last
48 hours -
16
00:00:38,084 --> 00:00:41,088
everything from time-shares to
cures for cancer.
17
00:00:41,088 --> 00:00:44,052
They even promised one poor girl
that they'd fake her death
18
00:00:44,052 --> 00:00:46,056
in order to get her out of an
arranged marriage!
19
00:00:46,056 --> 00:00:49,000
I mean, if people are stupid enough
to fall for that...
20
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,088
..then they deserve our sympathy.
21
00:00:52,088 --> 00:00:55,096
Build up a picture of how they're
targeting their victims.
22
00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:58,004
I'm in a stats meeting with the boss
till 10:30,
23
00:00:58,004 --> 00:00:59,088
so see what you can find out by
then.
24
00:00:59,088 --> 00:01:01,016
Thank you.
25
00:01:35,032 --> 00:01:37,016
Maybe you got the time wrong?
26
00:01:37,016 --> 00:01:39,024
The message said quarter past nine.
27
00:01:41,024 --> 00:01:42,072
This is definitely the right place?
28
00:01:42,072 --> 00:01:44,072
The instructions were very specific.
29
00:01:44,072 --> 00:01:47,016
They wanted to wait and check if we
were being followed.
30
00:01:48,036 --> 00:01:49,060
I don't understand.
31
00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:51,072
Why drag us all the way out here and
then not show up?
32
00:01:53,016 --> 00:01:55,044
Come on, let's go.
33
00:01:57,084 --> 00:02:01,016
No, we're private investigators.
The Private Dancers agency
34
00:02:01,016 --> 00:02:03,024
is on Overdone Street.
35
00:02:03,024 --> 00:02:04,068
No problem.
36
00:02:04,068 --> 00:02:06,000
Have fun!
37
00:02:07,004 --> 00:02:09,068
"Lord, what fools these mortals be!"
38
00:02:10,092 --> 00:02:12,032
Successful?
39
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:14,024
No. Complete waste of time!
40
00:02:14,024 --> 00:02:17,052
Please tell me our inbox is bursting
with juicy new clients!
41
00:02:17,052 --> 00:02:18,088
No e-mails for days.
42
00:02:18,088 --> 00:02:20,032
I have had quite a few people
43
00:02:20,032 --> 00:02:23,000
shouting down the phone at me,
though.That's awful! What about?
44
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,008
No idea.
45
00:02:24,008 --> 00:02:26,044
I hang up before they get to the
gory details.Sebastian!
46
00:02:26,044 --> 00:02:28,032
If people are trying to make
complaints,
47
00:02:28,032 --> 00:02:29,096
shouldn't we have some sort of...?
48
00:02:29,096 --> 00:02:32,064
I assume Frank's done something to
upset them.Hey!
49
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:35,072
In the eternal words of Wales'
finest poet,
50
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,068
"It's not unusual."Fair point.
51
00:02:37,068 --> 00:02:39,040
Oh, I did get one enquiry.
52
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,060
She called this morning.
53
00:02:43,060 --> 00:02:45,040
Emilia Merchant.
54
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,024
Missing persons case.
55
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Her husband is...
56
00:02:50,056 --> 00:02:52,008
..missing.
57
00:02:52,008 --> 00:02:53,048
You don't say.
58
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:56,036
FYI, she did seem a little dotty.
59
00:02:56,036 --> 00:02:59,032
2B Ornott Street. So, come on!
60
00:02:59,032 --> 00:03:01,008
Can't we have a cuppa first?
61
00:03:01,008 --> 00:03:02,024
No rest for the wicked!
62
00:03:02,024 --> 00:03:03,040
LU KNOCKS ON THE GLASS
63
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,068
Frank! Come on.
64
00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:06,076
PHONE RINGS
65
00:03:08,028 --> 00:03:09,092
Shakespeare and Hath...
66
00:03:09,092 --> 00:03:12,020
PERSON RANTS DOWN THE PHONE
67
00:03:21,088 --> 00:03:23,080
Another wild goose chase!
68
00:03:25,068 --> 00:03:27,044
Oh, I hear something.
69
00:03:28,056 --> 00:03:29,076
Hello.
70
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:31,016
Mrs Merchant?
71
00:03:31,016 --> 00:03:34,072
Ooh, hello again!
Did you forget something?
72
00:03:36,044 --> 00:03:38,028
Erm, we're Shakespeare and Hathaway.
73
00:03:38,028 --> 00:03:40,012
About the missing person?
74
00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:42,004
Have you found him already?
75
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:43,028
That were quick!
76
00:03:43,028 --> 00:03:47,000
Oh, no, no! We... We need to ask you
a few questions first.
77
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,040
Do you mind if we come in?
Yes, certainly.
78
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,036
I'll put kettle on!
79
00:03:51,036 --> 00:03:54,032
One Earl Grey, one normal, yes?
80
00:03:54,032 --> 00:03:56,044
Yes! That'd be lovely!
81
00:03:56,044 --> 00:03:58,076
Thanks!Come in!
82
00:03:58,076 --> 00:04:00,072
CLOCK CHIMES
83
00:04:03,016 --> 00:04:06,008
Has anybody seen my glasses
anywhere?
84
00:04:06,008 --> 00:04:09,008
Do you know? I'm as blind as a bat
without them.
85
00:04:09,008 --> 00:04:12,052
Yeah, they're just
hanging around your neck, there.
86
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:13,060
Whoops!
87
00:04:13,060 --> 00:04:15,028
No wonder you're a detective!
88
00:04:15,028 --> 00:04:17,080
Hm, well, that's...
89
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,056
So, erm, it's your husband that's
missing?
90
00:04:20,056 --> 00:04:21,084
That's right, yeah.
91
00:04:21,084 --> 00:04:25,056
It's like I told you - my Egbert.
92
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:27,072
When did you last see him?
93
00:04:27,072 --> 00:04:29,032
Ooh, erm...
94
00:04:31,016 --> 00:04:33,004
Haven't we been through all this?
95
00:04:34,072 --> 00:04:37,020
We just have to check that we've
got all the details.
96
00:04:37,020 --> 00:04:39,020
Oh, right.
97
00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:40,068
Well, my husband's in the Navy.
98
00:04:40,068 --> 00:04:42,060
In the Navy?What, still?
99
00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:45,000
Oh, yeah, he's always loved the sea.
100
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:49,020
Of course, whenever he's away,
you know, I get sick with worry.
101
00:04:49,020 --> 00:04:52,032
That's why I'm giving all my money
to the lifeboat people.
102
00:04:52,032 --> 00:04:55,020
They do such wonderful work,
you know.
103
00:04:55,020 --> 00:04:58,024
Sorry to rush you, Mrs Merchant,
but...
104
00:04:58,024 --> 00:04:59,056
Are you in here, Mum?
105
00:04:59,056 --> 00:05:02,008
Oh, Hello, Ian. It's my son.
106
00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:04,088
Who are they?
107
00:05:04,088 --> 00:05:06,076
They're here to help me find your
father.
108
00:05:06,076 --> 00:05:08,048
Right! Out! The pair of you!
109
00:05:08,048 --> 00:05:10,064
Hold your horses, mate.
We're only here cos...
110
00:05:10,064 --> 00:05:12,032
You should be ashamed of yourselves,
111
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taking advantage of a vulnerable old
woman!
112
00:05:14,036 --> 00:05:15,076
Who are you calling old?!
113
00:05:15,076 --> 00:05:18,016
I think we should go.Yeah.
Yeah, off you pop!
114
00:05:18,016 --> 00:05:19,068
Thanks for the tea...Thank you.
115
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,096
..and the biscuits.Yes!
116
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,076
I was telling the truth there,
I genuinely...
117
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,080
ARGH!Ooh!
118
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,008
Cor!
119
00:05:30,008 --> 00:05:31,072
I wish I'd stayed in bed!
120
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,024
Frank!
121
00:05:46,056 --> 00:05:49,020
You still owe me from the priory
job, Frank!
122
00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:51,032
Cash in hand, you said!
123
00:05:51,032 --> 00:05:53,020
Frank!
124
00:06:02,004 --> 00:06:05,072
Fine! I'll just crash your server
until you pay me!
125
00:06:14,008 --> 00:06:15,028
The works, please, Adie.
126
00:06:15,028 --> 00:06:16,076
Yeah, twice, thanks.
127
00:06:19,096 --> 00:06:21,024
Oh, hello, Spider!
128
00:06:21,024 --> 00:06:23,004
How goes it in the Matrix?
129
00:06:23,004 --> 00:06:24,036
Oh!
130
00:06:25,064 --> 00:06:27,072
For that data crunching you did for
me.
131
00:06:27,072 --> 00:06:29,068
Sorry it's a bit late.
132
00:06:29,068 --> 00:06:31,004
Thanks.
133
00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:34,048
You OK?
134
00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:37,020
You need to cut down on the
all-night gaming sessions, you do.
135
00:06:38,024 --> 00:06:39,088
I think you might be right.
136
00:06:42,064 --> 00:06:44,052
There must be another explanation.
137
00:06:44,052 --> 00:06:45,076
The descriptions match.
138
00:06:45,076 --> 00:06:48,020
We've had two more cases in this
morning. I'm not buying it.
139
00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:49,048
Frank wouldn't just...
140
00:06:49,048 --> 00:06:50,080
Look at the evidence.
141
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:54,032
I am as surprised as you are, but
I think we've got to bring them in.
142
00:06:54,032 --> 00:06:55,092
Oh...
143
00:06:55,092 --> 00:06:57,092
..you're loving this, aren't you?
144
00:07:00,092 --> 00:07:04,068
LOUD SHOUTING
145
00:07:07,032 --> 00:07:09,024
Please, could you...?
146
00:07:09,024 --> 00:07:12,068
If you would just let me finish?!
147
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:20,004
Ladies and gentlemen, I present
to you Shakespeare and Hathaway.
148
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,032
There they are!
149
00:07:33,032 --> 00:07:35,048
Where have they gone?!
150
00:07:35,048 --> 00:07:37,052
It appears they have a prior
appointment.
151
00:07:39,004 --> 00:07:40,064
What was all that about?!
152
00:07:40,064 --> 00:07:43,044
I don't know, but experience tells
me not to hang around to find out!
153
00:07:46,092 --> 00:07:48,016
Hi, Frank.
154
00:07:48,016 --> 00:07:50,000
Christina! Social call, is it?
155
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,008
No.
156
00:07:51,008 --> 00:07:52,048
We've got some questions.
157
00:07:52,048 --> 00:07:53,084
What about?You know, fraud,
158
00:07:53,084 --> 00:07:55,076
burglary, impersonating a police
officer.
159
00:07:55,076 --> 00:07:57,024
Animal cruelty.
160
00:07:57,024 --> 00:08:00,064
Yeah, we had reports that you kicked
a Chihuahua earlier today.
161
00:08:00,064 --> 00:08:03,076
What?!That's ridiculous! He's been
with me all morning.
162
00:08:03,076 --> 00:08:05,072
That's why you're coming with us,
too. What?!
163
00:08:05,072 --> 00:08:07,004
Eh, we're not going anywhere.
164
00:08:07,004 --> 00:08:09,068
This is a wind-up, right?I don't
know what you're up to, Frank,
165
00:08:09,068 --> 00:08:12,036
but you've gone too far this time.
Now get in.What? Oh, OK, then.
166
00:08:12,036 --> 00:08:13,068
No, not that side!
167
00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:16,076
Nice car! You can't even drive,
mate.Get out!All right! Easy!
168
00:08:16,076 --> 00:08:18,032
Stop embarrassing yourself, man!
169
00:08:18,032 --> 00:08:21,028
You've got something on your top
lip, there.Get in the car.
170
00:08:43,032 --> 00:08:45,072
Dr Pinch? Good morning!
171
00:08:45,072 --> 00:08:47,080
We're Shakespeare and Hathaway!
172
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,064
Oh, come in!
173
00:08:49,064 --> 00:08:52,028
We've multiple reports of two
suspects
174
00:08:52,028 --> 00:08:57,044
fitting your descriptions committing
various crimes around Stratford.
175
00:08:57,044 --> 00:09:01,060
So far, we've identified criminal
proceeds of just �30,000,
176
00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:04,080
including one single payment of
�15,000
177
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,072
from Mrs Emilia Merchant.
178
00:09:06,072 --> 00:09:08,012
15 grand?
179
00:09:08,012 --> 00:09:10,008
She told our officers that you stood
over her
180
00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:12,020
while she called the bank to make
the transfer.
181
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:14,044
Apparently, the payment was
to track down...
182
00:09:14,044 --> 00:09:15,056
Her missing husband.
183
00:09:15,056 --> 00:09:16,080
So, you don't deny it?
184
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,044
Well, we went there, yeah!
185
00:09:18,044 --> 00:09:21,048
But...A quick online search would
have shown you that Mrs Merchant's
186
00:09:21,048 --> 00:09:22,068
husband died 30 years ago.
187
00:09:22,068 --> 00:09:23,088
Ah...
188
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,036
But she didn't give us any money.
189
00:09:27,036 --> 00:09:29,008
You know, cos her son kicked us out.
190
00:09:29,008 --> 00:09:31,036
So why do we have bank records
showing the money
191
00:09:31,036 --> 00:09:33,096
being sent from her account to yours
at 9:15 this morning?
192
00:09:33,096 --> 00:09:35,096
9:15? Ha!
193
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:38,044
We were at the picnic site at
Solinus Woods,
194
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:41,044
we were meeting a client there,
so it can't have been us.
195
00:09:41,044 --> 00:09:42,092
What's the name of the client?
196
00:09:44,004 --> 00:09:46,048
Well, they didn't give their name.
197
00:09:46,048 --> 00:09:48,064
We were just supposed to meet them
there.
198
00:09:48,064 --> 00:09:52,012
They were paranoid about our
communications being intercepted.
199
00:09:52,012 --> 00:09:54,032
I mean, they didn't turn up anyway,
so...
200
00:09:54,032 --> 00:09:57,044
So, you don't actually have an
alibi?Well...no.
201
00:09:57,044 --> 00:10:00,076
But if Mrs Merchant put a few grand
in our account by mistake
202
00:10:00,076 --> 00:10:03,056
then can't we just transfer it back?
No harm done.
203
00:10:03,056 --> 00:10:05,008
Bit of a problem.
204
00:10:05,008 --> 00:10:07,084
All of your other victims paid into
your account, as well.
205
00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:09,000
And we have this.
206
00:10:12,068 --> 00:10:16,060
For the benefit of the tape, we're
showing Mr Hathaway CCTV footage
207
00:10:16,060 --> 00:10:18,084
taken earlier today at The Arden
Bank.
208
00:10:21,036 --> 00:10:24,012
We don't just have a smoking gun,
209
00:10:24,012 --> 00:10:25,088
we have a video of you firing it.
210
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,084
I... I don't understand, erm...
211
00:10:34,016 --> 00:10:36,004
Recognise the person on the footage?
212
00:10:36,004 --> 00:10:38,076
Well, yeah, yeah, it's Frank, but...
Thank you.
213
00:10:38,076 --> 00:10:41,000
It's not me! I'm being set up.
214
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,076
And as for Emelia, well,
she's hardly compos mentis!
215
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:46,004
You mean she's the type of
vulnerable individual often
216
00:10:46,004 --> 00:10:47,096
targeted by fraudsters?
217
00:10:47,096 --> 00:10:49,076
We also have reports of blackmail.
218
00:10:49,076 --> 00:10:52,088
It's alleged you claimed to have
compromising
219
00:10:52,088 --> 00:10:55,028
photographs of a prominent
member of the town council.
220
00:10:55,028 --> 00:10:56,076
Politicians, eh?
221
00:10:56,076 --> 00:10:58,024
Dread to think what he's been up to.
222
00:10:58,024 --> 00:11:00,088
Blackmail is a serious criminal
offence, Miss Shakespeare.
223
00:11:00,088 --> 00:11:05,052
It carries a maximum
sentence of 14 years imprisonment.
224
00:11:05,052 --> 00:11:07,076
But...it wasn't us.
225
00:11:07,076 --> 00:11:10,004
You need to start telling us
the truth.
226
00:11:10,004 --> 00:11:11,020
Why'd you do it?
227
00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:13,060
We didn't!Put yourself in my shoes.
228
00:11:13,060 --> 00:11:15,080
The evidence says you're lying.
229
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,096
Oh, come on, Christina,
it's me you're talking to!
230
00:11:20,028 --> 00:11:23,008
I think you should call me DI
Marlowe for the time being.
231
00:11:30,096 --> 00:11:33,064
I think it might've been her.
232
00:11:33,064 --> 00:11:34,096
See?
233
00:11:36,056 --> 00:11:38,008
Oh, no, wait.
234
00:11:38,008 --> 00:11:39,068
No, her!
235
00:11:39,068 --> 00:11:41,016
Definitely her.
236
00:11:41,016 --> 00:11:43,048
I remember she'd got beautiful eyes.
237
00:11:44,052 --> 00:11:47,048
She's hardly the most reliable
witness, is she?
238
00:11:47,048 --> 00:11:49,072
Whatever you say,
detective inspector.
239
00:11:49,072 --> 00:11:51,068
And it doesn't prove that Frank was
involved,
240
00:11:51,068 --> 00:11:54,020
so let's just keep an open mind.
241
00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:55,072
Mm-hm.
242
00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:01,084
Him.
243
00:12:01,084 --> 00:12:03,072
He was the one who came into the
bank.
244
00:12:05,036 --> 00:12:06,072
Don't say it.
245
00:12:07,088 --> 00:12:10,028
This day just keeps getting better
and better.
246
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,060
Give me a minute, Anne.
247
00:12:22,060 --> 00:12:23,084
Thanks.
248
00:12:26,008 --> 00:12:27,076
Come to gloat, have you?
249
00:12:27,076 --> 00:12:29,020
To give you a chance.
250
00:12:30,072 --> 00:12:33,096
Just tell me, off the record,
what's going on?
251
00:12:33,096 --> 00:12:35,044
Someone's setting me up.
252
00:12:35,044 --> 00:12:37,036
We've got half a dozen witnesses.
253
00:12:37,036 --> 00:12:39,012
We've got you on CCTV!
254
00:12:40,048 --> 00:12:42,068
Now, just tell me the truth.
255
00:12:42,068 --> 00:12:44,084
Where's the 30 grand?
256
00:12:44,084 --> 00:12:46,064
Let me go and I'll find out!
257
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,080
You know I can't do that.
258
00:12:54,028 --> 00:12:56,048
Don't do this, Christina.
259
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,044
You've left me no choice, Frank.
260
00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:17,072
SEBASTIAN CHUCKLES
261
00:13:19,068 --> 00:13:21,092
Oh, morning! They let you out then?
262
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,072
Sorry, I thought...
263
00:13:24,072 --> 00:13:25,088
It's fine.
264
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,036
I still think you should talk to
a solicitor, Frank.
265
00:13:42,036 --> 00:13:43,068
I don't need one.
266
00:13:43,068 --> 00:13:45,028
I know the drill.
267
00:13:45,028 --> 00:13:46,084
OK. Your funeral.
268
00:13:46,084 --> 00:13:48,080
Being less familiar with the drill,
269
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,076
how does this whole bail
thing work?
270
00:13:50,076 --> 00:13:52,096
Well, you turn up at the
magistrates' court
271
00:13:52,096 --> 00:13:56,068
on the date given. Meanwhile, sit
tight and don't do anything stupid.
272
00:14:00,044 --> 00:14:02,000
Did you get any sleep?
273
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,020
With that man singing next door?
Are you joking?
274
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:05,084
I thought he was quite good.
275
00:14:05,084 --> 00:14:08,032
Reminded me of
Engelbert Humperdinck.
276
00:14:08,032 --> 00:14:10,000
Fancy something to eat?Yes.
277
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,040
I need to do my hair, though.
278
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,040
Bit of black pudding,
big flat mushroom...
279
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,000
Oh, you are a sight for sore eyes -
280
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,028
I mean, like, literally -
281
00:14:16,028 --> 00:14:19,024
cos I've been awake all night and I
feel like I've got conjunctivitis.
282
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,072
I need to show you something.
283
00:14:21,072 --> 00:14:23,080
Oh, that looks like you, Frank.
284
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,096
And look at her!What?
285
00:14:25,096 --> 00:14:27,076
Well, she could be your twin!
286
00:14:27,076 --> 00:14:30,000
She looks nothing like me!
287
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,060
There is a passing resemblance.
288
00:14:31,060 --> 00:14:32,080
Where?!
289
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,012
The point is - these two must be
behind the cons.
290
00:14:35,012 --> 00:14:36,080
We should tell Marlowe.No, no, no!
291
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,064
If the police start sniffing around,
292
00:14:38,064 --> 00:14:41,056
these two will do a runner
and then we're back to square one.
293
00:14:41,056 --> 00:14:43,084
Let's find them first.
294
00:14:43,084 --> 00:14:46,052
You don't think there's even the
tiniest...? Not remotely, no.
295
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,096
OK.Rude!
296
00:14:54,096 --> 00:14:56,052
Oi!
297
00:14:56,052 --> 00:14:58,032
That's just the start.
298
00:14:58,032 --> 00:15:02,004
Till my mum gets her money back,
I'm going to make your lives hell.
299
00:15:02,004 --> 00:15:04,076
No offence, mate, but your mother is
clearly a few bourbons
300
00:15:04,076 --> 00:15:06,032
short of a family selection box.
301
00:15:06,032 --> 00:15:07,064
Say that again!
302
00:15:07,064 --> 00:15:09,096
No offence, mate, but your mother is
clearly...You...
303
00:15:09,096 --> 00:15:12,060
We will make sure your mother gets
every penny of her money back,
304
00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:14,032
won't we, Frank?
305
00:15:14,032 --> 00:15:15,072
Yes, we will.
306
00:15:15,072 --> 00:15:18,044
I tell you what, you've got till the
end of the day or I'm phoning
307
00:15:18,044 --> 00:15:20,052
the local rag to tell them what
you've been up to
308
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:24,008
and then no-one in Stratford will
touch this agency with a bargepole!
309
00:15:24,008 --> 00:15:25,068
All right?
310
00:15:25,068 --> 00:15:27,000
Have a great day.
311
00:15:28,036 --> 00:15:31,004
You said you wanted to raise our
media profile.
312
00:15:31,004 --> 00:15:33,076
Sebastian, see if you can get that
off.Why me?
313
00:15:33,076 --> 00:15:35,024
Because we're going to the bank
314
00:15:35,024 --> 00:15:38,004
to see why they would give an
impostor �30,000 from our account.
315
00:15:47,096 --> 00:15:51,032
Miss Goldsmith, your ten o'clocks
are here. Thank you.
316
00:15:52,072 --> 00:15:54,012
Hello.Hello.
317
00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:59,016
Well, if it isn't Lu Shakespeare.
318
00:15:59,016 --> 00:16:00,072
Hello, Angela.
319
00:16:00,072 --> 00:16:02,028
You two know each other?
320
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,040
Oh, yes.
321
00:16:04,072 --> 00:16:08,072
Angela...used to be a client at the
salon.
322
00:16:08,072 --> 00:16:12,008
I heard you'd changed careers -
probably best.
323
00:16:12,008 --> 00:16:15,028
The police have asked us to suspend
your account.
324
00:16:15,028 --> 00:16:17,032
Proceeds of crime and all that.
325
00:16:17,032 --> 00:16:18,084
Oh, right.
326
00:16:18,084 --> 00:16:22,068
Because, actually, you're the one
who's done something wrong.
327
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:25,024
The man you gave the �30,000 to was
an impostor.
328
00:16:25,024 --> 00:16:26,056
No, it was you.
329
00:16:26,056 --> 00:16:27,096
No, it was him.
330
00:16:29,064 --> 00:16:31,044
Well, it's not my fault!
331
00:16:31,044 --> 00:16:33,048
I mean, there's a strong
resemblance!
332
00:16:33,048 --> 00:16:34,080
What?
333
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,068
And he had ID, knew all the security
details.
334
00:16:37,068 --> 00:16:41,028
We even had an e-mail from the
address registered to the account
335
00:16:41,028 --> 00:16:44,028
informing us you'd be in to withdraw
the money -
336
00:16:44,028 --> 00:16:47,000
for the purchase of a new company
car, I believe?
337
00:16:48,036 --> 00:16:50,004
Have you still got the e-mail?
338
00:16:50,004 --> 00:16:51,008
Yes.
339
00:16:53,016 --> 00:16:54,020
There.
340
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:58,032
That is from our address!
341
00:16:58,032 --> 00:17:00,008
But how...how have they...?
342
00:17:00,008 --> 00:17:02,040
We've been hacked, haven't we?
343
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,032
And if someone's messing around on
the web,
344
00:17:04,032 --> 00:17:07,004
I know just the creature to catch
them.
345
00:17:07,004 --> 00:17:08,084
Yep, someone's definitely
346
00:17:08,084 --> 00:17:11,072
been rummaging through your undies
drawer.
347
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,084
Can you find out who?
I'm on it, big man.
348
00:17:13,084 --> 00:17:15,024
Bear with me.
349
00:17:19,016 --> 00:17:21,024
So, what's the score with you and
Angela, then?
350
00:17:21,024 --> 00:17:22,064
Oh, it's nothing.
351
00:17:24,024 --> 00:17:28,000
Oh, I just... I did her hair once
for her sister's wedding -
352
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,072
just a trim and highlights.
353
00:17:29,072 --> 00:17:32,008
We always recommend that you do a
patch test first,
354
00:17:32,008 --> 00:17:33,040
but she didn't have time, so...
355
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,044
I'm guessing she didn't like the
colour, then?
356
00:17:35,044 --> 00:17:36,084
It was more an issue
357
00:17:36,084 --> 00:17:38,016
with having a great big
358
00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:39,068
swollen head.
359
00:17:39,068 --> 00:17:41,016
It's just an allergic reaction...
360
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:43,016
Got ya!Oh!
361
00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:45,080
Yeah, your e-mails are being
diverted to another account.
362
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,084
So any new enquiries are going...?
363
00:17:47,084 --> 00:17:50,020
They'd get a nice message back from
your impostors.
364
00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:52,000
But, once someone's in your e-mail,
365
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,012
it's easy to reset passwords
and get hold of personal data.
366
00:17:55,012 --> 00:17:56,080
Well, stop them!Hold on!
367
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,060
So, if we got an e-mail now,
it'll still be diverted?
368
00:17:59,060 --> 00:18:02,052
Oh, it's simple to fix.No, don't.
369
00:18:02,052 --> 00:18:04,080
I want you to set up a fake e-mail
account,
370
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,068
something corporate sounding,
371
00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:09,048
and then send a message to our
address asking for help with a case.
372
00:18:09,048 --> 00:18:11,076
Say, "Money's no object."
373
00:18:11,076 --> 00:18:14,068
Then get them/us to call this
number.
374
00:18:14,068 --> 00:18:16,084
Ah, so the impostors call up
thinking,
375
00:18:16,084 --> 00:18:18,048
"Oh, easy money." And then...
376
00:18:18,048 --> 00:18:19,096
We get a head-to-head.
377
00:18:19,096 --> 00:18:22,060
It's very clever, except they have
been studying us enough
378
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,092
to steal our identities.
379
00:18:23,092 --> 00:18:27,012
Surely they're going to recognise
our voices?Sorry that took a while.
380
00:18:27,012 --> 00:18:29,000
Cersei's Cup has closed down.
381
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,084
I am inconsolable!
Their Frappuccino's were...
382
00:18:34,048 --> 00:18:35,064
What?
383
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:40,008
Maybe they're having the afternoon
off. Mm.
384
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,068
Or they got suspicious,
realised it was a trap.
385
00:18:49,048 --> 00:18:50,076
Right.
386
00:18:53,004 --> 00:18:55,064
I found this in the air vent of your
car.
387
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,092
They bugged my car?!
388
00:18:58,092 --> 00:19:00,064
Explains how they know so much about
us.
389
00:19:00,064 --> 00:19:03,016
I... I actually feel quite violated!
390
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,000
SEBASTIAN SNORTS
391
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,072
What?
392
00:19:06,072 --> 00:19:08,016
Really?
393
00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:11,048
No sliver of irony in there at all?
394
00:19:11,048 --> 00:19:12,068
Huh.
395
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:18,064
Why don't we take it to the Mucky
Mallard?
396
00:19:18,064 --> 00:19:20,036
It being a mobile and all.
397
00:19:22,084 --> 00:19:24,012
PHONE RINGS
398
00:19:26,004 --> 00:19:27,044
Well, answer it, then!
399
00:19:27,044 --> 00:19:28,084
I'm just getting into character.
400
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,092
You're not going onstage at the
National! Come on!
401
00:19:30,092 --> 00:19:33,004
No respect for the craft,
some people.
402
00:19:34,052 --> 00:19:37,012
DEEP AMERICAN ACCENT:
Nick Molina here.
403
00:19:37,012 --> 00:19:39,028
Totally, yeah,
I was hoping you'd call.
404
00:19:39,028 --> 00:19:40,048
Uh...
405
00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:41,080
Let's meet up.
406
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,024
I'll bring you guys up to speed.
407
00:19:43,024 --> 00:19:45,040
No! Not at the office.
408
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,088
Somebody might be listening in.
409
00:19:47,092 --> 00:19:49,020
I know a place.
410
00:19:50,024 --> 00:19:52,036
So you just need to try and keep
them talking.
411
00:19:52,036 --> 00:19:55,028
We need to prove that they've been
using our identities.
412
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,064
Good luck.
413
00:19:57,076 --> 00:20:01,056
Right, so usual video cameras. Huh?
Mm-hm.
414
00:20:01,056 --> 00:20:04,060
And these have bone conduction
speakers in the temples -
415
00:20:04,060 --> 00:20:05,096
in case you need a prompt.
416
00:20:05,096 --> 00:20:08,068
I have never required a prompt in my
life!
417
00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:10,052
Sebastian...Not even when Freddy...
418
00:20:10,052 --> 00:20:12,004
We're on.
419
00:20:15,072 --> 00:20:18,012
Our new app launches next month.
420
00:20:18,012 --> 00:20:22,012
It tells you where to find the best
snow conditions in every top
421
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,080
ski resort in the world
422
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:27,080
and where the hottest bars are to
kick back afterward.
423
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,072
So, what do you need us for?
424
00:20:29,072 --> 00:20:31,048
I don't sound like that!
425
00:20:31,048 --> 00:20:35,024
I'm hearing whispers that someone in
my team is trying
426
00:20:35,024 --> 00:20:38,088
to sell our data platform to a
competitor.
427
00:20:38,088 --> 00:20:41,016
You've come to the right place,
love.
428
00:20:41,016 --> 00:20:44,080
We can sniff out all sorts of dirty,
little secrets.
429
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:48,012
But, first, I'll need to take down
your particulars.
430
00:20:48,012 --> 00:20:49,036
Listen to her. What a tramp!
431
00:20:49,036 --> 00:20:51,064
But what specifically can you do?
432
00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:56,052
We'll do a forensic analysis of all
your employees' personal devices.
433
00:20:56,052 --> 00:20:58,076
Check for suspicious activity.
434
00:20:58,076 --> 00:21:00,068
Yeah, like it's that simple!
435
00:21:00,068 --> 00:21:02,044
FEMALE IMPOSTOR:
We could go undercover.
436
00:21:02,044 --> 00:21:04,048
Shameless. She's shameless.
Shameless, yeah.
437
00:21:04,048 --> 00:21:07,024
MALE IMPOSTOR:Before we go on,
let's discuss terms...
438
00:21:07,024 --> 00:21:10,008
..specifically, our front-loaded fee
schedule.
439
00:21:10,008 --> 00:21:11,028
Excuse me?
440
00:21:11,028 --> 00:21:12,080
Ten grand - cash.
441
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,008
What?!10,000?!
442
00:21:14,008 --> 00:21:17,024
Will you two please be quiet?!
443
00:21:17,024 --> 00:21:19,048
Sorry, sorry!
444
00:21:19,048 --> 00:21:22,084
Sorry, I have this horrible
headache and...
445
00:21:22,084 --> 00:21:25,020
Perhaps we should reschedule for
when you're feeling better.
446
00:21:25,020 --> 00:21:26,052
No need.
447
00:21:26,052 --> 00:21:28,040
Actually, we've got another
appointment, so...
448
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,008
Right, let's go.
I can get you the money!
449
00:21:30,008 --> 00:21:31,080
Great! We'll call you.
450
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,032
Good luck!
451
00:21:56,068 --> 00:21:58,064
Whoa, whoa!Hey! My ice cream!
452
00:21:58,064 --> 00:22:00,008
You'll regret that!
453
00:22:02,072 --> 00:22:04,016
I would never do that.
454
00:22:36,096 --> 00:22:38,036
Give it up! Please!
455
00:22:38,036 --> 00:22:41,004
All right. All right, you win.
456
00:22:42,048 --> 00:22:44,056
Don't even think about it!
457
00:22:44,056 --> 00:22:45,060
No!
458
00:22:49,060 --> 00:22:51,000
You come back here! You...!
459
00:22:52,084 --> 00:22:54,028
Should we stop them?
460
00:22:54,028 --> 00:22:55,096
Get off me, you stupid woman!
461
00:22:55,096 --> 00:22:57,024
Don't you call me stupid!
462
00:22:57,024 --> 00:22:58,048
I would just keep out of it.
463
00:22:58,048 --> 00:23:00,004
Mind my hair! Mind my hair!Ow!
464
00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:01,008
Ooh.
465
00:23:02,044 --> 00:23:03,092
I think you broke my watch.
466
00:23:03,092 --> 00:23:05,060
Whose fault is that?!
467
00:23:05,060 --> 00:23:07,008
So, what now?
468
00:23:07,008 --> 00:23:08,096
Well, you can start by telling us
who you are
469
00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:10,056
and why you keep pretending to be
us.
470
00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:11,092
I'm Phil.
471
00:23:11,092 --> 00:23:14,044
This is Roamy. We both do a bit of
work as extras,
472
00:23:14,044 --> 00:23:16,024
you know, films and that.
473
00:23:16,024 --> 00:23:18,040
I got this message via my agency.
474
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,060
At first I thought it was just a
normal gig,
475
00:23:20,060 --> 00:23:24,064
but when I replied they offered me a
few grand if I agreed to,
476
00:23:24,064 --> 00:23:26,016
you know.
477
00:23:26,016 --> 00:23:29,080
If not, they were going to show my
internet search history to my wife.
478
00:23:31,028 --> 00:23:33,024
And that would be bad, would it?
479
00:23:33,024 --> 00:23:36,052
My online interests are a little
niche.
480
00:23:36,052 --> 00:23:39,000
And, er, what about you?Same.
481
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,088
Except they said to me that they'd
tell my employers about my hobby
482
00:23:41,088 --> 00:23:43,076
and I work as an IT teacher, so...
483
00:23:43,076 --> 00:23:45,008
Hobby?
484
00:23:46,056 --> 00:23:47,088
Oh.
485
00:23:47,088 --> 00:23:49,048
Right.
486
00:23:49,048 --> 00:23:51,060
Right, so they just asked you to go
round town
487
00:23:51,060 --> 00:23:53,056
pretending to be us
and conning people?
488
00:23:53,056 --> 00:23:55,088
No, they're very specific.
489
00:23:55,088 --> 00:23:58,076
We get an e-mail at nine each
morning telling us what to do,
490
00:23:58,076 --> 00:24:00,028
who to target, everything!
491
00:24:00,028 --> 00:24:01,064
Who from?
492
00:24:01,064 --> 00:24:03,020
Well, they never gave a name.
493
00:24:08,028 --> 00:24:12,092
Why would anyone go to the lengths
of finding two lookalikes
494
00:24:12,092 --> 00:24:15,032
and then blackmailing them to
setting us up?
495
00:24:15,032 --> 00:24:17,016
Revenge. Money.
496
00:24:17,016 --> 00:24:19,096
You don't last long in this business
without making a few enemies.
497
00:24:22,032 --> 00:24:26,024
So, we go to the police, yeah?
498
00:24:26,024 --> 00:24:28,040
Please don't!
We didn't mean any harm.
499
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,076
You didn't mean any harm?!
You kicked a Chihuahua!
500
00:24:30,076 --> 00:24:32,052
It was biting my ankles!
501
00:24:32,052 --> 00:24:34,072
Look, maybe we can help you fix
this. No.
502
00:24:34,072 --> 00:24:36,020
No, I think it's too late.
503
00:24:36,020 --> 00:24:39,040
Hang on, hang on! What if they're
telling the truth?
504
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,084
If they suddenly go off the radar,
505
00:24:40,084 --> 00:24:42,076
the real culprit will know we're
onto them.
506
00:24:42,076 --> 00:24:44,032
Might disappear.
507
00:24:44,032 --> 00:24:46,032
But we're on bail!
508
00:24:46,032 --> 00:24:48,064
Which is why we need to find out
who's doing this to us.
509
00:24:48,064 --> 00:24:50,068
So, what do we do?
510
00:24:50,068 --> 00:24:53,060
We use our friends here to smoke out
the mastermind.
511
00:24:54,092 --> 00:24:56,052
What happened to the 30 grand?
512
00:25:03,036 --> 00:25:04,092
What should I do with it?
513
00:25:04,092 --> 00:25:06,012
Put it in this.
514
00:25:07,096 --> 00:25:09,016
And no funny business.
515
00:25:09,016 --> 00:25:11,056
Remember, I've got the police on
speed dial.
516
00:25:11,056 --> 00:25:13,080
Really? Would it not be quicker to
put nine, nine, nine?
517
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,040
It's a figure of speech.
518
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:18,052
One thing I want to know, these
clothes, where did you get them?
519
00:25:18,052 --> 00:25:20,020
Cos you look exactly like Lu.
520
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:21,048
No, she doesn't!
521
00:25:21,048 --> 00:25:24,044
They sent us photographs, video
clips, voice recordings, the lot.
522
00:25:24,044 --> 00:25:27,056
Wow. Someone really did their
homework, didn't they?
523
00:25:27,056 --> 00:25:29,088
Yeah, and now it's time for
detention.
524
00:25:31,056 --> 00:25:32,096
It's not your best.
525
00:25:32,096 --> 00:25:34,076
Whatever. Let's go.
526
00:25:42,024 --> 00:25:45,000
So, you make the drop and then go
back to the hotel
527
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,000
with Sebastian and wait for our
instructions.
528
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,068
Speaking of which, where is...?
Howdy!
529
00:25:49,068 --> 00:25:51,092
I thought I told you to blend in!
530
00:25:51,092 --> 00:25:54,032
In Stratford upon Yvonne?
531
00:25:54,032 --> 00:25:57,020
Dressed like this, I'm invisible!
532
00:25:57,020 --> 00:25:59,008
Right, so we're going to stake out
the locker
533
00:25:59,008 --> 00:26:01,092
until the culprit comes to take
the cash and then we'll pounce, OK?
534
00:26:01,092 --> 00:26:03,024
FRANK TAKES A PHOTO
535
00:26:03,024 --> 00:26:05,048
For the police, in case you feel
like doing a runner.
536
00:26:05,048 --> 00:26:07,024
Don't think we won't find you!
537
00:26:07,024 --> 00:26:09,088
So, make the drop and straight back
to the hotel?Exactly.
538
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:17,036
Stay with them and don't let them
out of your sight.
539
00:26:17,036 --> 00:26:18,072
Yes, sir.
540
00:26:18,072 --> 00:26:20,080
I'm nervous. What if we mess it up?
541
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,032
Oh, you'll be fine.
542
00:26:22,032 --> 00:26:23,056
Just be yourselves.
543
00:26:23,056 --> 00:26:26,072
Well, be us, but be yourselves being
us and then...
544
00:26:26,072 --> 00:26:28,088
You should be a motivational
speaker!
545
00:26:35,020 --> 00:26:36,048
TRAIN HORN BLOWS
546
00:26:38,004 --> 00:26:40,084
Right, cover me. We don't want
anyone seeing the combination.
547
00:26:40,084 --> 00:26:42,036
Good point.
548
00:26:48,032 --> 00:26:49,096
There.
549
00:26:49,096 --> 00:26:51,084
Great. Let's get out of here.
550
00:26:59,028 --> 00:27:01,028
Whoa! What have I told you?
551
00:27:01,028 --> 00:27:03,028
What's the first rule of a
stake out?
552
00:27:03,028 --> 00:27:05,004
No farting?
553
00:27:05,004 --> 00:27:06,084
No egg and no fish.
554
00:27:07,084 --> 00:27:10,040
You know, we're stuck here in a
confined space
555
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,004
for an indeterminate amount of time.
556
00:27:13,004 --> 00:27:14,024
Sorry.
557
00:27:23,008 --> 00:27:24,028
Go on, then.
558
00:27:28,052 --> 00:27:30,044
Mm!Mm.
559
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,056
Typical!
560
00:27:38,056 --> 00:27:39,088
They'll move on in a minute.
561
00:27:39,088 --> 00:27:42,024
It might be too late by then.
Come on.
562
00:27:47,064 --> 00:27:51,068
That's the one! Follow me.
Lots of pictures to take.
563
00:27:51,068 --> 00:27:53,068
Sorry! Sorry!Sorry, thanks.
564
00:27:57,028 --> 00:28:00,004
It's gone.Great!
565
00:28:00,004 --> 00:28:03,000
And we still don't know who's been
trying to ruin our lives.
566
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,060
Rule number two of stake out -
567
00:28:04,060 --> 00:28:06,000
always have a plan B.
568
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,084
I put a tracker tag in the bag...
569
00:28:08,084 --> 00:28:10,052
..with the swag. Ha!
570
00:28:10,052 --> 00:28:12,016
You are great.
571
00:28:12,016 --> 00:28:13,060
That's clever.
572
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:22,020
Isn't this Emilia Merchant's house?
573
00:28:22,020 --> 00:28:23,068
It is, yeah.
574
00:28:28,024 --> 00:28:29,064
I don't understand.
575
00:28:29,064 --> 00:28:31,028
Why would she steal her own money?
576
00:28:31,028 --> 00:28:32,072
It's only half hers, remember?
577
00:28:32,072 --> 00:28:35,068
Still, she didn't seem like some
kind of master criminal.
578
00:28:38,088 --> 00:28:40,048
Hang on.
579
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,004
Of course! The son!
580
00:28:46,004 --> 00:28:48,040
He can't have been too happy about
his inheritance
581
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,072
going to the lifeboats.
582
00:28:56,064 --> 00:28:58,080
I think it's time I called Marlowe.
583
00:29:10,092 --> 00:29:13,000
Well?
584
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,044
Well, what?Well, aren't you going
to arrest him?!
585
00:29:15,044 --> 00:29:16,092
For what? We searched the house.
586
00:29:16,092 --> 00:29:18,020
There's no money.
587
00:29:18,020 --> 00:29:19,060
Well, he must've hidden it!
588
00:29:19,060 --> 00:29:21,092
Mr Merchant received a message
saying the money
589
00:29:21,092 --> 00:29:23,084
stolen from his mother was in the
locker.
590
00:29:23,084 --> 00:29:25,088
Instead, all he found was a Bible.
591
00:29:25,088 --> 00:29:27,032
Well, he's lying!
592
00:29:28,052 --> 00:29:31,008
Because he blackmailed these two
into pretending to be us
593
00:29:31,008 --> 00:29:32,064
and go round doing all these cons!
594
00:29:32,064 --> 00:29:35,020
Frank! You must think I was born
yesterday?
595
00:29:35,020 --> 00:29:38,028
Well, no offence,
but I actually don't.Frank!
596
00:29:38,028 --> 00:29:41,072
I think you look really great,
you know, for your age.
597
00:29:43,004 --> 00:29:46,024
I hear you spoke to Angela Goldsmith
at the bank?
598
00:29:46,024 --> 00:29:48,024
Now, I told you not to do anything
stupid
599
00:29:48,024 --> 00:29:50,020
and you go interfering with
witnesses!
600
00:29:50,020 --> 00:29:51,044
Well, I...
601
00:29:51,044 --> 00:29:53,092
And so where are these two mystery
doppelgangers, then?
602
00:29:53,092 --> 00:29:56,024
Oh, right, well...
They gave us the slip.
603
00:29:57,072 --> 00:30:01,048
OK, look, I'll put out a circulation
for anyone who looks like you.
604
00:30:01,048 --> 00:30:05,076
In the meantime, go home and behave
or you'll end up on remand!
605
00:30:09,032 --> 00:30:12,032
No! No, because the police are
looking for them,
606
00:30:12,032 --> 00:30:15,024
so you've got to keep them out of
sight.
607
00:30:15,024 --> 00:30:18,024
Right, and they're paying, are they?
608
00:30:18,024 --> 00:30:20,056
Oh, well, get room service, then!
609
00:30:20,056 --> 00:30:21,068
OK, bye.
610
00:30:21,068 --> 00:30:23,048
Everything all right?
611
00:30:23,048 --> 00:30:25,004
Yeah, Sebastian wanted to take Phil
612
00:30:25,004 --> 00:30:27,024
and Roamy to The Centaur Tavern for
breakfast.
613
00:30:27,024 --> 00:30:30,028
The Centaur? Wouldn't catch me
eating in there.
614
00:30:30,028 --> 00:30:32,016
According to their last health
inspection,
615
00:30:32,016 --> 00:30:34,024
their sausages are 50% horse.
616
00:30:34,024 --> 00:30:36,012
Really? That is disgusting!
617
00:30:36,012 --> 00:30:40,016
No, not really. It was a joke.
You know, horse, centaur.
618
00:30:40,016 --> 00:30:43,000
Right, whoever has done this has
gone to extraordinary lengths
619
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,016
to set us up, haven't they?
620
00:30:44,016 --> 00:30:45,060
Well, 30 grand is a lot of money.
621
00:30:45,060 --> 00:30:47,076
Yeah, but there must have been
easier cons.True.
622
00:30:49,036 --> 00:30:51,056
This has got to be about revenge.
623
00:30:52,052 --> 00:30:56,036
Yeah, so we need to work out who
would go to this much trouble
624
00:30:56,036 --> 00:30:59,008
to get back at you.Hang on.
625
00:30:59,008 --> 00:31:01,080
Why does it always have to be me
that people have a problem with?
626
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:04,020
You do tend to have that effect on
people, Frank.
627
00:31:04,020 --> 00:31:08,044
Oh, charming! Let's keep an open
mind, shall we? I tell you what,
628
00:31:08,044 --> 00:31:10,076
why don't you think of all the
people you've upset over
629
00:31:10,076 --> 00:31:12,028
the years and I'll do the same?
630
00:31:12,028 --> 00:31:15,036
OK, but I do think I will be
finished long before you.
631
00:31:17,024 --> 00:31:18,028
What?
632
00:31:19,036 --> 00:31:21,008
Angela Goldsmith.
633
00:31:21,008 --> 00:31:22,084
What? The woman at the bank?
634
00:31:22,084 --> 00:31:24,092
She had access to all our personal
information
635
00:31:24,092 --> 00:31:26,028
and all our account details.
636
00:31:26,028 --> 00:31:28,000
She could've set the whole thing up.
637
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,088
What, she'd do all that because of a
dodgy haircut?
638
00:31:30,088 --> 00:31:33,020
Some people take their hair really
seriously, Frank.
639
00:31:33,020 --> 00:31:36,096
I mean, I once had an assistant who
had death threats for months
640
00:31:36,096 --> 00:31:39,072
because she messed up a client's
fringe.
641
00:31:39,072 --> 00:31:41,048
Yeah, we need to speak to Angela
again.
642
00:31:41,048 --> 00:31:44,076
She's already snitched to Marlowe
once. We need proof.
643
00:31:46,004 --> 00:31:50,060
Right, so Phil said that they were
getting e-mails every morning at
9am.
644
00:31:50,060 --> 00:31:53,048
Angela must have been sending them
from work.
645
00:31:53,048 --> 00:31:55,004
I've got an idea,
646
00:31:55,004 --> 00:31:58,048
but it involves you taking over
baby-sitting duties from Sebastian.
647
00:32:00,052 --> 00:32:02,096
Hello, Spider. I need your help.
648
00:32:03,092 --> 00:32:05,072
Tristan Syracuse.
649
00:32:05,072 --> 00:32:07,092
We spoke on the phone.
650
00:32:08,096 --> 00:32:11,076
Yes. Take a seat, Mr Syracuse.
651
00:32:13,028 --> 00:32:15,052
So, you're looking for a loan?
652
00:32:15,052 --> 00:32:18,076
I have a small start up.
653
00:32:18,076 --> 00:32:21,004
Fashion, obviously.
654
00:32:21,004 --> 00:32:23,012
I need fabric for the new
collection.
655
00:32:23,012 --> 00:32:24,056
OK.
656
00:32:24,056 --> 00:32:25,092
I'll need to take some details.
657
00:32:25,092 --> 00:32:27,036
PHONE RINGS
658
00:32:27,036 --> 00:32:28,084
Oh, excuse me one moment.
659
00:32:30,032 --> 00:32:32,028
Angela Goldsmith speaking.
660
00:32:33,024 --> 00:32:35,056
Outside now? Can't you sign for it?
661
00:32:37,076 --> 00:32:39,024
Very well.
662
00:32:39,024 --> 00:32:42,020
I'm so sorry. Apparently,
there's a delivery for me.
663
00:32:42,020 --> 00:32:43,052
I'll be one minute.
664
00:33:10,016 --> 00:33:12,020
I'm in!
665
00:33:12,020 --> 00:33:14,004
Check her outgoing e-mails.
666
00:33:14,004 --> 00:33:15,076
I'm already on it.
667
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:18,024
Anything?
668
00:33:18,024 --> 00:33:20,052
Er, no.
669
00:33:20,052 --> 00:33:22,048
Not unless she's sending your
body double
670
00:33:22,048 --> 00:33:25,032
messages about data protection
compliance.
671
00:33:25,032 --> 00:33:27,028
What about her personal account?
672
00:33:27,028 --> 00:33:30,004
I don't think it's her.
673
00:33:30,004 --> 00:33:33,020
Give me a moment. I just want to try
something.Try what?
674
00:33:33,020 --> 00:33:36,004
I just want to see if I can disable
the bank's alarm system from here.
675
00:33:36,004 --> 00:33:37,024
Spider!
676
00:33:37,024 --> 00:33:39,016
What? Only out of curiosity!
677
00:33:42,016 --> 00:33:44,040
ALARM BLARES
678
00:33:47,020 --> 00:33:48,040
Wait! I'm outside!
679
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,084
So, that's a no. Sorry!
680
00:33:50,084 --> 00:33:52,048
Spider. Spider!
681
00:34:06,016 --> 00:34:07,084
Thanks for dropping him back.
682
00:34:07,084 --> 00:34:09,012
Yeah, well...
683
00:34:10,064 --> 00:34:12,044
..I thought it was a good
opportunity
684
00:34:12,044 --> 00:34:14,044
to get his employer's side of the
story.
685
00:34:14,044 --> 00:34:16,028
Or is it just a coincidence that he
happened
686
00:34:16,028 --> 00:34:18,040
to be at the bank during a major
security breach?
687
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:19,064
I dunno what you mean.
688
00:34:19,064 --> 00:34:21,088
Sebastian was simply on a personal
errand.
689
00:34:21,088 --> 00:34:23,080
Don't you mean Tristan?
690
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,004
You know what he's like.
691
00:34:25,004 --> 00:34:27,076
He sometimes struggles to hold on
to reality.
692
00:34:27,076 --> 00:34:30,020
Last warning
or I will bring you back in.
693
00:34:31,032 --> 00:34:32,052
As for you,
694
00:34:32,052 --> 00:34:35,048
the next time Frank wants your help
with one of his idiotic schemes,
695
00:34:35,048 --> 00:34:37,032
tell him where to go.
696
00:34:37,032 --> 00:34:40,020
Or you'll find yourself the star
turn in the inmate's annual
697
00:34:40,020 --> 00:34:42,040
panto at Long Lartin nick!
698
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,096
Do you happen to know if they pay
equity minimum?
699
00:34:46,044 --> 00:34:48,036
You OK?
700
00:34:48,036 --> 00:34:51,000
Any idea what happens to people as
beautiful as me in prison?
701
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,080
They only asked you a couple of
questions.
702
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,044
It's hardly The Shawshank
Redemption.
703
00:34:54,044 --> 00:34:56,080
Listen, I want you to go to the
hotel and take over from Lu.
704
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,012
Don't you think I deserve the rest
of the day off?
705
00:34:59,012 --> 00:35:01,088
Let me think - no.
706
00:35:01,088 --> 00:35:04,060
OK, let's go from the beginning.
707
00:35:04,060 --> 00:35:07,060
You need to find two people as
devilishly attractive
708
00:35:07,060 --> 00:35:10,032
as us to help with your evil plan.
709
00:35:12,004 --> 00:35:14,052
Phil mentioned a casting agents,
didn't he?
710
00:35:14,052 --> 00:35:16,056
Can we find out which one they're
with?
711
00:35:19,052 --> 00:35:20,060
Bingo.
712
00:35:24,008 --> 00:35:26,088
It's normally Sebastian that does
this sort of thing, isn't it?
713
00:35:26,088 --> 00:35:30,028
Just dial.
Yeah, I'm getting nervous.
714
00:35:32,044 --> 00:35:33,056
PHONE:Bill's Players.
715
00:35:33,056 --> 00:35:34,084
Yeah, hello!
716
00:35:34,084 --> 00:35:37,044
Hi, I am with S&H Pictures.
717
00:35:37,044 --> 00:35:38,056
Uh-huh?
718
00:35:38,056 --> 00:35:41,060
One of your performers was in our
latest film. His name?
719
00:35:41,060 --> 00:35:42,096
Phil Sirkin.
720
00:35:42,096 --> 00:35:44,012
Oh, Phil Sirkin?
721
00:35:44,012 --> 00:35:45,032
That's right.
722
00:35:45,032 --> 00:35:49,072
Only I've... I've got a rather large
BACS payment that I'd like to send
723
00:35:49,072 --> 00:35:52,012
over to you, but I just need to know
who made the booking
724
00:35:52,012 --> 00:35:54,036
because my paperwork's in a bit of a
mess. Yeah.
725
00:35:54,036 --> 00:35:55,084
When would that have been?
726
00:35:55,084 --> 00:35:58,056
Well, It will have been...
Last couple of weeks!
727
00:35:58,056 --> 00:36:00,016
..over the last couple of weeks
728
00:36:00,016 --> 00:36:01,056
and in Stratford.
729
00:36:01,056 --> 00:36:02,068
OK, I'll take a look.
730
00:36:02,068 --> 00:36:04,000
OK. Thank you.
731
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,040
She's having a look.
732
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:06,044
Hello?
733
00:36:06,044 --> 00:36:07,076
Hi?Lucy Nell.
734
00:36:07,076 --> 00:36:11,060
Lucy Nell. OK, great. Yes, well,
I'll process that straight away.
735
00:36:11,060 --> 00:36:14,076
Thanks very much, thank you. Bye.
736
00:36:14,076 --> 00:36:16,024
Who on Earth is Lucy Nell?
737
00:36:17,036 --> 00:36:19,016
Probably a made-up name.
738
00:36:19,016 --> 00:36:20,096
It does ring a bell, though.
739
00:36:22,044 --> 00:36:24,028
I am so stupid!
740
00:36:24,028 --> 00:36:25,096
The Bible!
741
00:36:25,096 --> 00:36:28,016
You having some sort of divine
revelation?
742
00:36:30,060 --> 00:36:31,064
Yes!
743
00:36:32,068 --> 00:36:33,072
What is it?
744
00:36:33,072 --> 00:36:36,036
A couple of years ago,
I was on a surveillance case.
745
00:36:36,036 --> 00:36:40,068
Client thought her husband was
having an affair with one Lucy Nell.
746
00:36:40,068 --> 00:36:42,048
Rightly, as it turned out.
747
00:36:46,084 --> 00:36:50,024
Hang on a minute, isn't that...?
748
00:36:50,024 --> 00:36:51,084
TV:Will I see you again, Frank?
749
00:36:51,084 --> 00:36:53,092
TV:Doll, I'll be home before you
know it.
750
00:36:53,092 --> 00:36:55,024
KNOCK AT THE DOOR
751
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:06,080
Where is she?
752
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:07,096
Who? Oh, Roamy?
753
00:37:07,096 --> 00:37:09,044
She went to meet you, like you said.
754
00:37:09,044 --> 00:37:11,024
Like who said?Like you said.
755
00:37:11,024 --> 00:37:12,076
She showed me the text message.
756
00:37:12,076 --> 00:37:15,040
You had some lead and you needed her
back at the drop point.
757
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,072
Don't you think we would've called
you directly?!
758
00:37:18,084 --> 00:37:20,072
I take it that message wasn't from
you, then?
759
00:37:20,072 --> 00:37:22,024
No!
760
00:37:22,024 --> 00:37:23,060
Now that I think about it,
761
00:37:23,060 --> 00:37:25,092
it did seem strange that she took
her suitcase with her.
762
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,028
My bad.
763
00:37:28,028 --> 00:37:30,080
So, Roamy's done a runner and left
me to carry the can?!
764
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,028
Roamy was never here.
765
00:37:32,028 --> 00:37:34,000
This is Roamy Cusack.
766
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,024
The person you've been hanging
around with is called Lucy Nell.
767
00:37:37,024 --> 00:37:40,040
She planned everything
and now she's got the 30 grand.
768
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,012
But we put the 30 grand in the
locker!
769
00:37:42,012 --> 00:37:44,008
No.
770
00:37:44,008 --> 00:37:46,040
You put a Gideon Bible in the
locker.
771
00:37:47,072 --> 00:37:50,068
She must have switched them round
when we weren't looking.
772
00:37:56,092 --> 00:37:59,004
How long ago did she leave?
773
00:37:59,004 --> 00:38:00,076
About half an hour.
774
00:38:00,076 --> 00:38:03,044
She could be anywhere!
What's your reg number?
775
00:38:03,044 --> 00:38:05,024
I don't know. It was a hire.
776
00:38:05,024 --> 00:38:07,032
But she wouldn't be driving anyway.
777
00:38:07,032 --> 00:38:08,056
Why not?
778
00:38:08,056 --> 00:38:09,088
Cos she can't drive.
779
00:38:09,088 --> 00:38:11,036
Not a perfect match, then.
780
00:38:11,036 --> 00:38:13,028
Hang on. She's on foot.
781
00:38:13,028 --> 00:38:14,092
We might still catch her.
782
00:38:14,092 --> 00:38:18,072
POLICE SIRENS APPROACH
783
00:38:21,060 --> 00:38:23,000
You see, the thing is,
784
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,092
the alert was for two people who
look like us, not actually us.
785
00:38:25,092 --> 00:38:27,028
It's an easy mistake to make.
786
00:38:27,028 --> 00:38:29,092
If you call DI Marlowe,
she'll explain everything.
787
00:38:30,088 --> 00:38:33,012
Only, if you could that quickly,
that'd be great
788
00:38:33,012 --> 00:38:36,004
cos we're kind of in the middle
of something. Yeah.Thanks.
789
00:38:36,004 --> 00:38:37,072
2943 to control, over.
790
00:38:50,072 --> 00:38:53,008
Lucy!
791
00:38:53,008 --> 00:38:55,020
So, you finally realised who I am.
792
00:38:55,020 --> 00:38:57,068
Look, don't you think you've taken
this too far?
793
00:38:57,068 --> 00:38:59,052
You destroyed my life!
794
00:38:59,052 --> 00:39:01,080
To be fair, you were the one
that was having an affair
795
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,076
with a married man.We were in love!
796
00:39:03,076 --> 00:39:06,080
And, thanks to you,
his wife threatened to stop him
797
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,008
ever seeing his kids again unless he
dumped me.
798
00:39:09,008 --> 00:39:11,052
And because I taught at the school
that his kids went to,
799
00:39:11,052 --> 00:39:14,008
she persuaded the governors to have
me fired.
800
00:39:14,008 --> 00:39:16,064
And then she went online,
spreading lies about me,
801
00:39:16,064 --> 00:39:19,016
making sure no-one would ever give
me a job.
802
00:39:19,016 --> 00:39:23,016
I lost the man I love, my career,
my reputation, everything!
803
00:39:23,016 --> 00:39:26,024
For what? So you could make a bit of
cash?!
804
00:39:26,024 --> 00:39:28,048
So now you want to trash my
reputation in return?
805
00:39:28,048 --> 00:39:30,000
An eye for an eye.
806
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,008
You deserve it. All those grubby
photos you took of me
807
00:39:33,008 --> 00:39:34,080
and you didn't even recognise me!
808
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,028
See? I knew it was you that had
upset somebody.
809
00:39:37,028 --> 00:39:38,080
It wasn't all about revenge.
810
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,008
I need the money,
seeing as I'm unemployed.
811
00:39:41,008 --> 00:39:42,080
One thing that's been bothering me.
812
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:45,076
It must've been hard enough to find
someone who looked like me.
813
00:39:45,076 --> 00:39:47,088
How did you know you could blackmail
him?
814
00:39:47,088 --> 00:39:50,032
He's a middle-aged,
out-of-work actor.
815
00:39:50,032 --> 00:39:52,072
Show me one who doesn't have a
shedload of debt
816
00:39:52,072 --> 00:39:54,056
and an dodgy internet search
history.
817
00:39:54,056 --> 00:39:56,088
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got a train to catch.
818
00:39:56,088 --> 00:39:59,080
You don't think we're going to just
let you go away scot-free?
819
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:02,044
I've seen inside your computer,
remember?
820
00:40:02,044 --> 00:40:05,084
Every corner you've ever cut,
every law you've ever broken,
821
00:40:05,084 --> 00:40:07,096
I'll make sure the police find out.
822
00:40:07,096 --> 00:40:09,096
Frank Hathaway cut corners?
823
00:40:09,096 --> 00:40:11,032
Who would've thought?!
824
00:40:11,032 --> 00:40:13,068
They're making it up!
I haven't done anything.
825
00:40:13,068 --> 00:40:15,028
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
826
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:20,028
That's 30,000 reasons not to believe
you.
827
00:40:20,028 --> 00:40:22,020
You're going to prison.
828
00:40:22,020 --> 00:40:24,084
What about him?!
He's the real criminal!
829
00:40:24,084 --> 00:40:27,020
Frank? Nah, he's just an idiot.
830
00:40:29,056 --> 00:40:30,080
Joseph!
831
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,008
Joseph, another case solved, eh?
832
00:40:33,008 --> 00:40:36,020
Do you need any tips?No.
833
00:40:36,020 --> 00:40:39,092
Well, I thought I could educate you
with my wisdom and my intelligence.
834
00:40:41,004 --> 00:40:42,032
No?
835
00:40:49,064 --> 00:40:51,040
You're unnervingly quiet.
836
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:52,096
Yeah, just...
837
00:40:52,096 --> 00:40:56,000
I don't know, maybe she was right to
be angry.
838
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,064
She wasn't the one that was married
839
00:40:57,064 --> 00:41:00,040
and yet it's her life that's been
trashed.
840
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:03,020
Why do you think I don't take
extra-maritals any more?
841
00:41:03,020 --> 00:41:05,024
Thought you said it was a waste of
your talents?
842
00:41:05,024 --> 00:41:06,072
Too much collateral damage.
843
00:41:06,072 --> 00:41:09,024
Ah, see?
I knew you were a big softie!
844
00:41:09,024 --> 00:41:10,092
What?!
845
00:41:10,092 --> 00:41:12,024
Hang on, hang on.
846
00:41:12,024 --> 00:41:14,096
Before you have a pop, we're just
here to let your mother know
847
00:41:14,096 --> 00:41:17,032
the money's been transferred back
into her bank account.
848
00:41:17,032 --> 00:41:19,020
Who is it, Ian?
849
00:41:19,020 --> 00:41:21,012
Oh, have you found my Egbert?!
850
00:41:21,012 --> 00:41:23,008
No, I'm sorry, Mrs Merchant.
851
00:41:23,008 --> 00:41:24,072
But he's, erm...
852
00:41:24,072 --> 00:41:26,052
Abroad...somewhere.
853
00:41:26,052 --> 00:41:29,064
Yeah, and unfortunately we don't do
international investigations,
854
00:41:29,064 --> 00:41:32,028
so we've returned the money.
855
00:41:32,028 --> 00:41:35,032
I'm sure you'll see him again
one day.
856
00:41:35,032 --> 00:41:38,028
Oh, do you know? I hope so.
857
00:41:38,028 --> 00:41:40,048
Thank you so much for trying.
858
00:41:40,048 --> 00:41:41,068
It's my pleasure.
859
00:41:41,068 --> 00:41:43,056
Thank you.You're welcome.
860
00:41:43,056 --> 00:41:46,068
Here, Mum, let's get you get back in
the warm, shall we, eh?
861
00:41:49,056 --> 00:41:50,076
I'll be in in a minute.
862
00:41:54,088 --> 00:41:57,052
It must be kinder to tell her the
truth.Oh, I've tried.
863
00:41:57,052 --> 00:41:59,096
She won't hear it.
There must be some way you can...?
864
00:41:59,096 --> 00:42:01,024
You sound like my brother!
865
00:42:01,024 --> 00:42:03,024
He disappears months on end and then
shows up
866
00:42:03,024 --> 00:42:05,056
and tries to lecture me about how to
look after her!
867
00:42:05,056 --> 00:42:07,004
You all right, Dave?
868
00:42:07,004 --> 00:42:08,088
Yeah, I'm sure you know best.
869
00:42:08,088 --> 00:42:11,068
We're sorry again for any
inconvenience.
870
00:42:12,092 --> 00:42:14,036
Water under the bridge.
871
00:42:14,036 --> 00:42:15,076
If you ever need a PI...
872
00:42:15,076 --> 00:42:17,040
Don't push it.Fair enough.
873
00:42:18,068 --> 00:42:20,096
Here, Dave, you fancy a brew?
874
00:42:20,096 --> 00:42:22,080
Oh, yeah! I'd love one!
875
00:42:30,096 --> 00:42:32,040
I'm glad that's sorted.
876
00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:34,088
I'm not sure this town's big enough
for two Frank Hathaways.
877
00:42:34,088 --> 00:43:23,100
I'm not sure it's big enough for one
Oi! Hey!
64462
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