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1
00:00:05,073 --> 00:00:07,057
Thanks. Thank you.
2
00:00:12,025 --> 00:00:16,021
Right, then
- anyone need the bathroom?
3
00:00:16,021 --> 00:00:18,089
"To pee or not to pee?"
4
00:00:18,089 --> 00:00:20,057
Ha-ha...
5
00:00:21,097 --> 00:00:23,033
Never mind.
6
00:00:23,033 --> 00:00:28,049
If you want to have your �20 ready,
the walk departeth in two minutes.
7
00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:34,081
Good morrow, good people, good morrow!
8
00:00:34,081 --> 00:00:38,077
Now, which of you here wants
to go on a real Ghost Walk?
9
00:00:38,077 --> 00:00:42,033
Not like this one here, full of facts
- boring, boring, boring!
10
00:00:42,033 --> 00:00:46,005
Well, if you do, just shove your
money in my lunchbox here.
11
00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:48,057
That's the way. More, more, more
- thank you so much.
12
00:00:48,057 --> 00:00:50,025
That's very good, thank you so much.
13
00:00:50,025 --> 00:00:51,057
All right
- now...
14
00:00:51,057 --> 00:00:53,061
..follow me.
15
00:01:06,017 --> 00:01:10,029
As you know, Shakespeare was
the most prolific of playwrights,
16
00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:11,077
the best in the world.
17
00:01:11,077 --> 00:01:13,081
But what you will not know
18
00:01:13,081 --> 00:01:16,081
is that he was also a very,
very keen ghost hunter -
19
00:01:16,081 --> 00:01:18,061
oh, yes -
20
00:01:18,061 --> 00:01:21,057
who frequently supped full with horrors.
21
00:01:21,057 --> 00:01:24,013
Yes
- horrors, horrors.
22
00:01:24,013 --> 00:01:28,093
Now, what I want you all to do is
to reach out to his undead spirit,
23
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I want you all to hold hands,
and repeat after me,
24
00:01:31,045 --> 00:01:34,089
"Wi-i-ill, Wi-i-ill...
25
00:01:34,089 --> 00:01:37,037
..where art thou, Will?", can you do that?
26
00:01:37,037 --> 00:01:39,073
Can you do that?
Now, don't be shy, don't be shy.
27
00:01:39,073 --> 00:01:43,025
Hold hands, hold hands.
That's it, that's it. Now...
28
00:01:43,025 --> 00:01:45,001
Wi-i-ill? Wi-i-ill?
29
00:01:46,069 --> 00:01:48,053
Where art thou, Will?
30
00:02:11,037 --> 00:02:12,093
Really?
31
00:02:12,093 --> 00:02:15,061
Well, that's terrible.
Listen, get back here as soon as you can.
32
00:02:18,033 --> 00:02:20,001
Bye-bye.
33
00:02:20,001 --> 00:02:22,045
Sebastian. He's been mugged.
34
00:02:22,045 --> 00:02:24,049
No! What did they take?
35
00:02:24,049 --> 00:02:26,085
Coach-load of Japanese tourists.
36
00:02:26,085 --> 00:02:28,069
- What?
- Long story.
37
00:02:28,069 --> 00:02:32,021
Well, that is terrible, though,
isn't it? It is a dangerous world.
38
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,097
I once had...
39
00:02:35,017 --> 00:02:36,069
What?
40
00:02:36,069 --> 00:02:38,017
Nothing.
41
00:02:38,017 --> 00:02:41,033
Didn't we have a little chat?
About you tidying yourself up a bit?
42
00:02:41,033 --> 00:02:43,061
Oh, we've been through all this!
43
00:02:43,061 --> 00:02:46,061
A man's clothes are his autobiography
44
00:02:46,061 --> 00:02:52,005
and mine say that I'm a
dangerous, carefree maverick.
45
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,017
Aww
- your clothes are your dinner plate
46
00:02:54,017 --> 00:02:56,053
and they say you had a
chicken tikka masala last night.
47
00:02:56,053 --> 00:02:58,017
Not for ages.
48
00:02:58,017 --> 00:03:00,017
Anyway...
49
00:03:00,017 --> 00:03:03,029
- ..it's not chicken tikka.
- Is it not? What is it?
50
00:03:03,029 --> 00:03:04,097
Biriyani?
51
00:03:04,097 --> 00:03:07,033
- Jalfrezi?
- Smell it.
52
00:03:08,041 --> 00:03:09,097
Oh!
53
00:03:11,053 --> 00:03:13,081
You are the detectives,
Shakespeare and Hathaway?
54
00:03:13,081 --> 00:03:15,033
Guilty as charged!
55
00:03:15,033 --> 00:03:17,081
I need you to find my husband.
56
00:03:17,081 --> 00:03:20,081
- So when did you last see him?
- A week ago.
57
00:03:20,081 --> 00:03:22,025
He flew over to England,
58
00:03:22,025 --> 00:03:24,033
but I haven't heard a word from him,
59
00:03:24,033 --> 00:03:26,021
and he's not been answering my calls.
60
00:03:26,021 --> 00:03:28,001
Do you know where he might be staying?
61
00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:30,061
If I knew that, I would not be here!
62
00:03:30,061 --> 00:03:32,045
Yeah, no. Sorry.
63
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,045
No, I'm sorry -
64
00:03:35,045 --> 00:03:37,049
somewhere in Stratford.
65
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:39,089
He always stays here
when he is in England, it...
66
00:03:39,089 --> 00:03:42,013
..has many happy memories.
67
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:44,061
So, what exactly brought
him to this country?
68
00:03:44,061 --> 00:03:46,089
He does a lot of business here.
69
00:03:46,089 --> 00:03:48,081
English people are so polite -
70
00:03:48,081 --> 00:03:51,001
they never ask awkward questions...
71
00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:54,033
..to Eastern European oligarchs.
72
00:03:56,081 --> 00:03:58,077
Write that down
- O-L...
73
00:04:00,049 --> 00:04:02,033
..igarchs. Just...
74
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:07,017
It's got to be around here somewhere.
75
00:04:07,017 --> 00:04:10,017
How dare you?
76
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:12,069
- Do I know you?
- You should do -
77
00:04:12,069 --> 00:04:14,081
I'm the one whose punters you pinched.
78
00:04:14,081 --> 00:04:17,041
Oh, I am sorry -
79
00:04:17,041 --> 00:04:19,077
but you see, I'm an actor,
80
00:04:19,077 --> 00:04:22,053
and when you have such
extraordinary, God-given talent,
81
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,065
it almost seems like a sin not to use it.
82
00:04:24,065 --> 00:04:26,069
I'm an actor!
83
00:04:26,069 --> 00:04:30,033
Really? Oh, well, your secret's safe with me.
84
00:04:30,033 --> 00:04:34,041
Do you know, the most mysterious
incident took place here today?
85
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,017
- Did it?
- Yeah.
86
00:04:36,017 --> 00:04:38,073
Yes, as I was holding my... Ooh, ha-ha...
87
00:04:38,073 --> 00:04:40,065
..your audience spellbound,
88
00:04:40,065 --> 00:04:44,065
a man's hand flew off at his wrist.
89
00:04:44,065 --> 00:04:48,081
- What?
- Yeah. Caused quite a kerfuffle.
90
00:04:48,081 --> 00:04:51,009
I just... I just pretended
it was all part of the act,
91
00:04:51,009 --> 00:04:53,033
and I kicked it into the long grass.
92
00:04:53,033 --> 00:04:55,037
That really is the biggest load of old...
93
00:04:58,061 --> 00:05:00,089
You all right?
94
00:05:00,089 --> 00:05:04,005
I've found it. Yes.
95
00:05:04,005 --> 00:05:07,077
Well, as you were the one
who lost it in the first place...
96
00:05:07,077 --> 00:05:11,097
- Shall I go grab it?
- No, my friend.
97
00:05:11,097 --> 00:05:15,049
We cannot have a diplomatic incident.
98
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:17,017
We watch, and we wait.
99
00:05:25,009 --> 00:05:26,069
And here.
100
00:05:29,009 --> 00:05:31,089
Thank you.Please,
I am having nightmares about him.
101
00:05:31,089 --> 00:05:34,037
I keep wondering, has he been kidnapped?
102
00:05:34,037 --> 00:05:36,013
But there's been no ransom note.
103
00:05:36,013 --> 00:05:39,053
How did your husband make
all his money? From minerals.
104
00:05:39,053 --> 00:05:41,045
If you look inside your computer,
105
00:05:41,045 --> 00:05:45,089
you'll find several substances
only my husband can provide.
106
00:05:45,089 --> 00:05:49,013
Oh
- I have some photos.
107
00:05:49,013 --> 00:05:50,065
I wish I had more.
108
00:05:52,065 --> 00:05:54,089
Well, you came to the right place,
109
00:05:54,089 --> 00:05:56,089
we'll do our best to help you find him.
110
00:05:56,089 --> 00:06:00,017
Please
- he is one man...
111
00:06:00,017 --> 00:06:03,009
..but he is my whole world.
112
00:06:07,025 --> 00:06:09,029
We'll do our best.
113
00:06:12,045 --> 00:06:15,061
So, are you ready for a
whistle-stop tour of the top hotels,
114
00:06:15,061 --> 00:06:17,045
meet some VIPs?
115
00:06:17,045 --> 00:06:20,021
I think we should do a
background check on her first.
116
00:06:22,069 --> 00:06:25,061
- Why?
- It's just... if she loves him so much,
117
00:06:25,061 --> 00:06:28,025
why doesn't she even
know where he's staying?
118
00:06:28,025 --> 00:06:31,049
And, why is there no photographs
of the two of them together?
119
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:34,093
Hello? Is that the Antiques Roadshow?
120
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:36,077
Look, I've got something rather unusual.
121
00:06:36,077 --> 00:06:38,037
Hello?
122
00:06:40,041 --> 00:06:41,061
Oh, God.
123
00:06:43,029 --> 00:06:44,081
Where are you?
124
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,005
What do you want?
125
00:06:50,005 --> 00:06:52,033
We want what is in that bag.
126
00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:54,017
It belongs to our grandmother.
127
00:06:54,017 --> 00:06:55,065
She is very attached to it.
128
00:06:55,065 --> 00:06:57,025
Not any more, she's not!
129
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,061
Give us the hand,
130
00:06:58,061 --> 00:07:01,041
or we will give you pain
like you've never felt before.
131
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,085
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Whoa, ha-ha!
132
00:07:15,085 --> 00:07:18,017
- Good decision.
- Yes...
133
00:07:18,017 --> 00:07:21,005
Help! Murders! Thieves!
Murderer! Murderer!
134
00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:22,081
Oh!
135
00:07:22,081 --> 00:07:25,037
- Are you all right?
- Yes, I'm fine, thank you so much.
136
00:07:25,037 --> 00:07:28,005
Thank you. No worries.
Thank you for stopping. Thank you.
137
00:07:32,061 --> 00:07:34,045
Bye!
138
00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:38,073
- A hand?
- A hand.
139
00:07:38,073 --> 00:07:41,017
Are you sure... are you sure
it wasn't some kind of prop
140
00:07:41,017 --> 00:07:42,077
from a horror film?
141
00:07:42,077 --> 00:07:44,077
Well, if they're making a
horror film around here,
142
00:07:44,077 --> 00:07:47,025
I need to know about it.
I do a very good zombie.
143
00:07:47,025 --> 00:07:50,001
Argh
- can we please get back to reality?
144
00:07:50,001 --> 00:07:53,045
Pavel Kusk, multi-millionaire, goes missing.
145
00:07:53,045 --> 00:07:55,049
A woman comes in here,
claiming to be his wife,
146
00:07:55,049 --> 00:07:57,065
says he's been staying
in a hotel in Stratford.
147
00:07:57,065 --> 00:07:59,045
Yeah, well, there must be hundreds of them.
148
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:01,053
Well, look
- he obviously enjoys the high life,
149
00:08:01,053 --> 00:08:03,001
let's start with the posh ones.
150
00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:04,065
There are dozens.
151
00:08:04,065 --> 00:08:06,053
So stop whingeing and get on with it!
152
00:08:20,017 --> 00:08:22,057
It's a no, and that's a no.
153
00:08:22,057 --> 00:08:24,037
Ooh.
154
00:08:25,097 --> 00:08:27,025
Any joy?
155
00:08:27,025 --> 00:08:29,029
I think I've found him.
156
00:08:29,029 --> 00:08:30,089
Oh, really! Where?
157
00:08:30,089 --> 00:08:32,085
The Hotel Philomel.
158
00:08:32,085 --> 00:08:35,001
Place is dripping with wealth.
159
00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:39,025
I've never seen so many bellboys
staring down their noses at me.
160
00:08:39,025 --> 00:08:41,009
Right. Well, I did tell you
161
00:08:41,009 --> 00:08:43,045
that you should smarten
yourself up a bit, didn't I. A lot!
162
00:08:43,045 --> 00:08:46,021
Yeah
- anyway, I asked about Pavel Kusk,
163
00:08:46,021 --> 00:08:48,013
the manager got all cagey.
164
00:08:48,013 --> 00:08:51,057
But he had this look in his eyes.
He knew something.
165
00:08:51,057 --> 00:08:54,029
Have you had a chance to look
round any of the guest rooms?
166
00:08:54,029 --> 00:08:57,061
Nah, place is like Fort Knox.
I can't get near them.
167
00:09:02,065 --> 00:09:05,017
But I have a cunning plan.
168
00:09:09,021 --> 00:09:10,025
Hel... Ooh!
169
00:09:10,025 --> 00:09:13,001
Turn that down. Turn it down, turn it down!
170
00:09:13,001 --> 00:09:14,053
Oop, sorry.
171
00:09:16,005 --> 00:09:17,057
Did you find him?
172
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,037
Not yet, though,
just like a professional dog walker,
173
00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:23,005
I do have several leads.
174
00:09:23,005 --> 00:09:25,013
Go on.
175
00:09:25,013 --> 00:09:27,049
Right
- well, it's a lovely sunny day
176
00:09:27,049 --> 00:09:29,069
but the Imperial Suite,
swankiest room in the hotel,
177
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:32,089
has all its curtains closed and a
"Do Not Disturb" sign on the door.
178
00:09:32,089 --> 00:09:35,021
I'd dearly like to disturb!
179
00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:36,073
Well, disturb then.
180
00:09:36,073 --> 00:09:38,069
Good luck, Sebastian!
181
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:08,009
Honestly, the master
key is playing up again.
182
00:10:08,009 --> 00:10:09,025
Give it here.
183
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,029
I'll take it to maintenance,
see if they can sort it.
184
00:10:11,029 --> 00:10:12,077
Back in two ticks.
185
00:10:20,013 --> 00:10:21,053
Room service!
186
00:10:30,093 --> 00:10:31,097
Hello?
187
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:37,041
Sir?
188
00:10:39,057 --> 00:10:40,089
Oh...
189
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:51,045
OK, what do you want first?
The good, the bad or the ugly?
190
00:10:51,045 --> 00:10:53,029
Whatever, just...
191
00:10:53,029 --> 00:10:54,089
I've found Pavel Kusk...
192
00:10:54,089 --> 00:10:56,085
..but, unfortunately, he's dead.
193
00:10:56,085 --> 00:10:59,009
And one of his hands has been cut off.
194
00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:09,041
- It's got to be him.
- Yeah, I'm just checking.
195
00:11:13,045 --> 00:11:14,093
Yep, that's him.
196
00:11:14,093 --> 00:11:17,013
Well, it's 95% of him.
197
00:11:17,013 --> 00:11:19,073
That's got to be the hand
you found in the Holy Trinity.
198
00:11:19,073 --> 00:11:21,033
What kind of sicko would do that?
199
00:11:21,033 --> 00:11:24,021
You know, in some countries
they cut your hand off for stealing.
200
00:11:24,021 --> 00:11:27,013
Maybe this mineral magnate has taken
something that doesn't belong to him?
201
00:11:27,013 --> 00:11:29,041
And somebody took revenge.
202
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:34,097
Frank, thanks for the call,
your work here is done.
203
00:11:34,097 --> 00:11:36,001
Hey!
204
00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:38,077
If it wasn't for us, he would have
become a breakfast for maggots.
205
00:11:38,077 --> 00:11:40,097
Yeah, well, if this guy is who you say he is,
206
00:11:40,097 --> 00:11:43,009
then this is big league stuff.
207
00:11:43,009 --> 00:11:44,037
Got to play it by the book.
208
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,001
Well, don't forget who taught
you how to read that book!
209
00:11:47,001 --> 00:11:48,053
I'll be in touch.
210
00:11:49,077 --> 00:11:51,037
We need to get hold of that hand.
211
00:11:51,037 --> 00:11:53,005
What for?
212
00:11:53,005 --> 00:11:55,033
Because we've been
hired to find Pavel Kusk.
213
00:11:55,033 --> 00:11:56,081
Every last bit of him.
214
00:11:56,081 --> 00:11:58,037
We need to talk to Anastasia.
215
00:11:59,037 --> 00:12:02,009
- So, you don't know where the hand is?
- No.
216
00:12:02,009 --> 00:12:05,005
But, just like a hotel with several en suites,
217
00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:06,069
I have a lot to go on.
218
00:12:07,089 --> 00:12:09,029
Oh, dear!
219
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,041
Oh, dear, oh, dear...
220
00:12:17,085 --> 00:12:20,093
Felicitations, dear fellows!
221
00:12:20,093 --> 00:12:22,033
Felicitations!
222
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:26,041
Now, who amongst you here
wants to go on a real ghost walk?
223
00:12:26,041 --> 00:12:29,017
Yes, that's it, go on, give me your
tens and give me your twenties!
224
00:12:29,017 --> 00:12:31,053
That's it! Thank you!
More the merrier, more the merrier!
225
00:12:31,053 --> 00:12:35,085
Yes, yes, yes, a real, real ghost walk!
226
00:12:35,085 --> 00:12:38,065
Oh, hello, officer!
Are you here for the ghost walk, are you?
227
00:12:38,065 --> 00:12:40,081
I think we need to have a little chat, sir.
228
00:12:40,081 --> 00:12:43,017
There you are, Grandad!
We've been looking everywhere.
229
00:12:43,017 --> 00:12:44,045
What?
230
00:12:44,045 --> 00:12:46,089
You told Mum you were going to the bingo!
231
00:12:46,089 --> 00:12:49,049
You're not banging on
about Shakespeare again?!
232
00:12:49,049 --> 00:12:50,073
Come on.
233
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:53,081
- What are you doing?
- Saving your skin. You owe me.
234
00:13:02,025 --> 00:13:04,081
Right, here you go.
235
00:13:04,081 --> 00:13:07,001
Hotel Philomel.
236
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:12,013
It's a very nice place, this.
237
00:13:12,013 --> 00:13:14,045
I actually drove the Prime
Minister of Belgium here.
238
00:13:14,045 --> 00:13:16,073
Very generous man, he was.
239
00:13:16,073 --> 00:13:18,037
Gave me a very good tip.
240
00:13:18,037 --> 00:13:20,053
Ajay, you might want
to hang round for a bit.
241
00:13:22,021 --> 00:13:24,037
Have you found him? Is he OK?
242
00:13:27,061 --> 00:13:28,093
I'm so sorry.
243
00:13:30,053 --> 00:13:31,069
No!
244
00:13:34,065 --> 00:13:35,077
I...
245
00:13:37,053 --> 00:13:40,053
I think I knew, deep down.
246
00:13:41,093 --> 00:13:44,093
It's why I came all this way.
247
00:13:47,061 --> 00:13:50,001
The police are waiting inside,
248
00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:51,061
they're going to want to talk to you.
249
00:13:51,061 --> 00:13:53,033
Shall I take you through?
250
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:55,085
No, I don't think so.
251
00:13:58,073 --> 00:14:00,045
I don't feel ready.
252
00:14:00,045 --> 00:14:01,057
Is that because the police
253
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:03,065
will find out that he's
not really your husband?
254
00:14:10,065 --> 00:14:11,069
What did I say?
255
00:14:17,009 --> 00:14:18,045
What did you do with the hand?
256
00:14:18,045 --> 00:14:19,073
What hand?
257
00:14:19,073 --> 00:14:21,005
You know, the big hairy one.
258
00:14:21,005 --> 00:14:22,037
Smelled faintly of cheese.
259
00:14:22,037 --> 00:14:23,061
How much is it worth?
260
00:14:23,061 --> 00:14:24,073
Excuse me?!
261
00:14:24,073 --> 00:14:28,009
There was a couple of foreign
chappies trying to get their paws on it.
262
00:14:28,009 --> 00:14:30,057
But I hid it away in a place
that only I know where.
263
00:14:30,057 --> 00:14:31,089
So, it will cost you.
264
00:14:33,001 --> 00:14:36,021
OK, that hand is wanted as
part of a murder investigation
265
00:14:36,021 --> 00:14:39,005
and, if you don't hand it over,
I'll hand you to the police,
266
00:14:39,005 --> 00:14:42,061
to be handcuffed and roughly manhandled.
267
00:14:42,061 --> 00:14:44,061
And not in a good way.
268
00:15:07,029 --> 00:15:09,001
I'm sorry.
269
00:15:09,001 --> 00:15:12,005
We really want to help you but
we do need to know who you are.
270
00:15:12,005 --> 00:15:13,093
I told you.
271
00:15:13,093 --> 00:15:15,053
I am Anastasia Kusk.
272
00:15:15,053 --> 00:15:17,013
Married to Pavel Kusk.
273
00:15:17,013 --> 00:15:18,085
But not according to this.
274
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:21,081
According to this, you and
Pavel were divorced in 1993.
275
00:15:24,037 --> 00:15:25,081
OK.
276
00:15:25,081 --> 00:15:27,049
I'm his ex-wife.
277
00:15:29,001 --> 00:15:32,037
So, in the eyes of the law, I am nothing.
278
00:15:32,037 --> 00:15:33,077
Look, I'm sorry for your loss.
279
00:15:33,077 --> 00:15:35,009
But you lied.
280
00:15:35,009 --> 00:15:38,053
Look, Frank, why don't
you go for a little walk?
281
00:15:38,053 --> 00:15:39,093
Yeah.
282
00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:44,097
I'm sorry about my partner.
283
00:15:44,097 --> 00:15:46,021
He's, erm...
284
00:15:46,021 --> 00:15:47,053
He can be a bit...
285
00:15:47,053 --> 00:15:49,089
- He's a good detective.
- I know.
286
00:15:49,089 --> 00:15:51,033
That's why I hired you.
287
00:15:52,057 --> 00:15:54,073
And, yes, I lied.
288
00:15:56,049 --> 00:15:59,097
I thought you'd be more
likely to help an anxious wife
289
00:15:59,097 --> 00:16:03,061
than a crazy ex-wife.
290
00:16:03,061 --> 00:16:06,045
Well, you gave us a lot of money to find him.
291
00:16:06,045 --> 00:16:08,045
Why was it so important?
292
00:16:15,089 --> 00:16:20,037
A few days ago, Pavel's
brother called me and told me
293
00:16:20,037 --> 00:16:23,069
Pavel was planning to close down
a vault that he kept in England.
294
00:16:24,089 --> 00:16:26,025
We don't know why
295
00:16:26,025 --> 00:16:31,013
but I have a feeling he was
planning to sell up and emigrate.
296
00:16:31,013 --> 00:16:32,049
I see.
297
00:16:32,049 --> 00:16:36,009
Well, I know we're
divorced and he is in the past,
298
00:16:36,009 --> 00:16:39,053
but to never see him again...
299
00:16:41,049 --> 00:16:43,037
I had to say goodbye.
300
00:16:45,069 --> 00:16:47,037
If it's not too personal...
301
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,061
..can I ask why you broke up?
302
00:16:55,093 --> 00:16:59,049
We had a little boy, Ivan,
303
00:16:59,049 --> 00:17:02,077
who died at the age of five.
304
00:17:04,033 --> 00:17:05,093
I'm so sorry.
305
00:17:05,093 --> 00:17:09,085
For a whole year, I couldn't eat or speak...
306
00:17:11,025 --> 00:17:15,089
..while my husband kept himself busy
making obscene amounts of money.
307
00:17:17,025 --> 00:17:21,033
Soon, we were two different people.
308
00:17:24,081 --> 00:17:28,025
You said your husband was
over here to close a vault.
309
00:17:29,057 --> 00:17:30,097
Do you know what was in that vault?
310
00:17:30,097 --> 00:17:33,013
- Paintings.
- Paintings?
311
00:17:33,013 --> 00:17:37,057
He had an amazing collection,
all the European masters.
312
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,033
Some he bought from art dealers.
313
00:17:39,033 --> 00:17:40,089
Some from art thieves.
314
00:17:42,001 --> 00:17:43,029
A Rembrandt.
315
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,065
A Picasso.
316
00:17:44,065 --> 00:17:46,049
Modigliani.
317
00:17:47,073 --> 00:17:53,025
His brother said they were
worth over 100 million.
318
00:17:53,025 --> 00:17:55,049
Gosh.
319
00:17:55,049 --> 00:17:57,037
That's quite a collection.
320
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:01,065
Do you know who was due to inherit them?
321
00:18:01,065 --> 00:18:02,069
No idea.
322
00:18:04,045 --> 00:18:08,049
I would have liked to have
had a Bruegel or a Braque.
323
00:18:13,021 --> 00:18:14,041
I, erm...
324
00:18:15,069 --> 00:18:18,021
I don't know how to say this...
325
00:18:21,073 --> 00:18:24,089
..but I'm afraid...
326
00:18:24,089 --> 00:18:28,049
..someone cut one of
your husband's hands off.
327
00:18:30,045 --> 00:18:33,085
Do you know who would do
something like that? Or why?
328
00:18:37,065 --> 00:18:39,081
It must be a maniac.
329
00:18:39,081 --> 00:18:41,033
It must have been.
330
00:18:43,077 --> 00:18:48,077
Of course, I will still pay
you to find who did this.
331
00:18:48,077 --> 00:18:51,053
But, please, be careful.
332
00:18:51,053 --> 00:18:55,017
There are some very,
very dangerous men in my country.
333
00:19:02,065 --> 00:19:04,021
Here we are, then!
334
00:19:04,021 --> 00:19:06,029
All aboard! Poop-poop!
335
00:19:16,069 --> 00:19:19,037
This is my local caff.
336
00:19:19,037 --> 00:19:25,061
I frequently come here when I'm
not doing a film or a West End play.
337
00:19:25,061 --> 00:19:27,077
You come here quite a lot, then?
338
00:19:27,077 --> 00:19:29,009
Every sodding day.
339
00:19:29,009 --> 00:19:30,013
Ah, now, look...
340
00:19:32,081 --> 00:19:34,061
Aha! Yes, there it is.
341
00:19:37,073 --> 00:19:39,093
Ooh!
342
00:19:39,093 --> 00:19:41,033
Bit ripe.
343
00:19:42,049 --> 00:19:44,017
There you are.
344
00:19:49,061 --> 00:19:52,077
Yes, well, I think for all that
effort, you can treat me
345
00:19:52,077 --> 00:19:55,037
to a Gut-busting All-Day
Breakfast Mountain.
346
00:19:55,037 --> 00:19:56,049
Delightful.
347
00:19:56,049 --> 00:19:58,017
And it comes with squeezy ketchup.
348
00:19:58,017 --> 00:19:59,021
Yes, yes, yes.
349
00:19:59,021 --> 00:20:00,081
Very good stuff this, you know.
350
00:20:03,073 --> 00:20:07,001
I wonder where that waitress is?
She's normally...
351
00:20:07,001 --> 00:20:08,017
We meet again.
352
00:20:12,073 --> 00:20:15,065
Now, don't make any sudden moves.
Just hold up your hands.
353
00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:20,093
All of them.
354
00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:30,033
Give it to me.
355
00:20:30,033 --> 00:20:32,061
Nice and gentle.
356
00:20:36,021 --> 00:20:39,097
Sorry, but what exactly do you want it for?
357
00:20:39,097 --> 00:20:44,005
Is it some kind of Tracey
Emin art installation?
358
00:20:44,005 --> 00:20:46,061
Or a novelty signpost?
359
00:20:46,061 --> 00:20:50,061
That is for me to know and you to wonder.
360
00:20:50,061 --> 00:20:52,057
Hi there, what can I get you?
361
00:20:55,025 --> 00:20:56,089
Run!
362
00:21:03,069 --> 00:21:05,093
And then, in 1999,
363
00:21:05,093 --> 00:21:09,029
a Cezanne was stolen from a
museum in Oxford. Oh, look, during
364
00:21:09,029 --> 00:21:11,073
the Millennium fireworks.
365
00:21:11,073 --> 00:21:14,065
Then, ten years later, a Van Gogh was taken
366
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:18,045
and that was estimated to
be worth 50 million pounds.
367
00:21:18,045 --> 00:21:21,097
Reading this, I'm amazed there's
any artwork left in the world.
368
00:21:21,097 --> 00:21:24,053
Look, we have no way of
knowing what's in the vault.
369
00:21:26,013 --> 00:21:28,069
OK, I have been threatened at gunpoint,
370
00:21:28,069 --> 00:21:32,021
chased down the street,
generally scared witless,
371
00:21:32,021 --> 00:21:36,013
but I do have the beast with five fingers.
372
00:21:36,013 --> 00:21:37,061
Good work!
373
00:21:37,061 --> 00:21:38,097
What about the man that found it?
374
00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:41,005
Gloria's looking after him at the moment.
375
00:21:41,005 --> 00:21:42,089
He's in a highly nervous state.
376
00:21:42,089 --> 00:21:45,033
But he did manage to draw some pictures
377
00:21:45,033 --> 00:21:47,017
of the men who threatened us.
378
00:21:48,033 --> 00:21:51,085
And this is from this morning,
when the big scary man's hand fell off.
379
00:21:54,025 --> 00:21:55,053
Wow.
380
00:21:57,041 --> 00:21:58,069
Who needs CCTV, eh?
381
00:22:00,033 --> 00:22:02,017
Now, let's look at the facts.
382
00:22:02,017 --> 00:22:03,053
Pavel Kusk.
383
00:22:03,053 --> 00:22:06,053
A highly successful mineral magnate
384
00:22:06,053 --> 00:22:08,053
who's worth hundreds of millions of pounds.
385
00:22:08,053 --> 00:22:11,085
May have spent some
of that on stolen artwork.
386
00:22:11,085 --> 00:22:16,017
What I need to know is how he ended
up in a hotel room minus his hand.
387
00:22:16,017 --> 00:22:18,073
And how did this work its
way to the churchyard?
388
00:22:18,073 --> 00:22:21,065
And those blokes you met, why are
they so keen to get their mitts on it?
389
00:22:21,065 --> 00:22:22,089
Well, don't look at me.
390
00:22:22,089 --> 00:22:24,057
I'm just like Pavel Kusk,
391
00:22:24,057 --> 00:22:25,089
I'm stumped.
392
00:22:27,057 --> 00:22:28,061
Hang on.
393
00:22:33,021 --> 00:22:35,029
We need to get rid of this straight away.
394
00:22:35,029 --> 00:22:36,073
I'm handing it back to Marlowe.
395
00:22:36,073 --> 00:22:38,061
Someone's already died for this hand.
396
00:22:38,061 --> 00:22:40,097
And I have a terrible
feeling they died in vain.
397
00:22:42,057 --> 00:22:43,089
Wow.
398
00:22:43,089 --> 00:22:45,045
Thanks.
399
00:22:45,045 --> 00:22:47,001
It's a miracle you're still single.
400
00:22:47,001 --> 00:22:48,093
Second-hand.
401
00:22:48,093 --> 00:22:52,045
One previous owner,
Mr Pavel Kusk, multi-millionaire.
402
00:22:52,045 --> 00:22:54,013
But somebody killed him,
403
00:22:54,013 --> 00:22:57,025
cut it off, then managed
to lose it in the churchyard.
404
00:22:57,025 --> 00:22:59,053
Do you know why?
405
00:22:59,053 --> 00:23:02,073
It's just a theory, so bear with me.
406
00:23:02,073 --> 00:23:05,057
So, Pavel comes back to England
to close down a bank vault.
407
00:23:06,057 --> 00:23:09,069
Now, some of these private banks,
they use iris recognition
408
00:23:09,069 --> 00:23:13,037
as a security method and
some of them use palm prints.
409
00:23:13,037 --> 00:23:16,025
They killed him to use
his hand as a swipe card?
410
00:23:16,025 --> 00:23:18,005
That's the way it's looking, yeah.
411
00:23:18,005 --> 00:23:21,025
What can you tell me
about these photographs?
412
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:23,061
What do they tell us about Mr Kusk?
413
00:23:24,065 --> 00:23:27,085
That he likes golf and a drink.
414
00:23:27,085 --> 00:23:30,033
Oh, Christina, you are nothing without me.
415
00:23:30,033 --> 00:23:34,021
Mr Kusk is obviously left-handed.
416
00:23:34,021 --> 00:23:38,085
Which means that hand, there,
is worth about 50p as a paperweight.
417
00:23:38,085 --> 00:23:41,089
But the other one, the one in the
morgue, could be worth a fortune.
418
00:23:48,005 --> 00:23:49,033
I must say,
419
00:23:49,033 --> 00:23:51,029
you have a most impressive wardrobe.
420
00:23:51,029 --> 00:23:53,045
Oh, no, those are Gloria's.
421
00:23:53,045 --> 00:23:54,093
She's very short on space.
422
00:23:54,093 --> 00:23:57,009
Do you know, it's quite extraordinary.
423
00:23:57,009 --> 00:24:00,049
I believe that this is the costume that I wore
424
00:24:00,049 --> 00:24:04,045
when I played Hamlet at the RSC.
425
00:24:04,045 --> 00:24:06,053
You were in the Royal
Shakespeare Company?
426
00:24:06,053 --> 00:24:08,013
Oh, no, not that one, no.
427
00:24:08,013 --> 00:24:10,001
The Rotherham Social Club.
428
00:24:11,053 --> 00:24:12,097
It was the most wonderful evening.
429
00:24:12,097 --> 00:24:16,005
Had all the grand soliloquies,
430
00:24:16,005 --> 00:24:18,013
plus bingo and a meat raffle.
431
00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:21,029
And that'll be the pizza.
432
00:24:23,093 --> 00:24:26,025
Come in! We're on the first floor.
433
00:24:26,025 --> 00:24:27,089
Do you have any change?
434
00:24:27,089 --> 00:24:29,005
What?
435
00:24:29,005 --> 00:24:31,073
You know, from fleecing all my customers?
436
00:24:31,073 --> 00:24:33,069
Oh, erm...
437
00:24:33,069 --> 00:24:35,077
Fine! I've got a thruppence bit somewhere.
438
00:24:40,057 --> 00:24:41,085
Sebastian?
439
00:24:44,045 --> 00:24:47,069
I don't believe that's a 12-inch
pepperoni that he's holding.
440
00:24:47,069 --> 00:24:49,013
No tricks.
441
00:24:49,013 --> 00:24:50,041
No lies.
442
00:24:50,041 --> 00:24:51,061
Just tell me...
443
00:24:51,061 --> 00:24:53,049
..where is the hand?!
444
00:24:53,049 --> 00:24:56,081
Now, you listen, sonny!
I don't know what game it is you think
445
00:24:56,081 --> 00:24:59,073
you're playing but we're British,
so we probably invented it, and...
446
00:24:59,073 --> 00:25:01,037
Aah!
447
00:25:01,037 --> 00:25:02,077
Agh...!
448
00:25:02,077 --> 00:25:04,049
Oh...!
449
00:25:06,089 --> 00:25:10,097
So, are you going to give me what I want?
450
00:25:10,097 --> 00:25:15,001
Or do I have to feed you my pizza of pain?
451
00:25:15,001 --> 00:25:18,009
OK, we don't have the hand,
it's gone to the police.
452
00:25:21,001 --> 00:25:22,005
No, no, really!
453
00:25:22,005 --> 00:25:23,093
And it wasn't the right hand, anyway,
454
00:25:23,093 --> 00:25:26,057
because, actually, he's left-handed.
455
00:25:36,029 --> 00:25:37,069
Thank you.
456
00:25:42,069 --> 00:25:44,037
What did you tell him that for?!
457
00:25:44,037 --> 00:25:45,081
So I could live!
458
00:25:45,081 --> 00:25:48,041
We were six steps ahead of them
and now we're neck and neck!
459
00:25:48,041 --> 00:25:50,045
At least I've still got a neck.
460
00:25:50,045 --> 00:25:53,077
I'm going to have to talk to Harold
when he's feeling better.Be my guest.
461
00:25:53,077 --> 00:25:56,085
I don't suppose he's done any more
of his amazing life-like pictures?
462
00:25:56,085 --> 00:25:58,065
We've done one better than that.
463
00:25:58,065 --> 00:26:02,037
As the beasts from the east
were diving into their van...
464
00:26:04,069 --> 00:26:06,093
Oh, great. I can show these to Anastasia.
465
00:26:06,093 --> 00:26:09,025
- See if she recognises them.
- Good idea.
466
00:26:09,025 --> 00:26:11,037
But, first, we've got to get to the morgue.
467
00:26:17,065 --> 00:26:19,021
Spring roll?
468
00:26:19,021 --> 00:26:20,057
No, thanks.
469
00:26:20,057 --> 00:26:23,021
They look far too much like fingers.
470
00:26:23,021 --> 00:26:25,053
Yeah, they do, don't they?
471
00:26:33,053 --> 00:26:36,013
Oh! It's Anastasia.
472
00:26:36,013 --> 00:26:38,029
She says, "I've never
seen those two men before
473
00:26:38,029 --> 00:26:40,089
"and I have no idea where he had his vault."
474
00:26:40,089 --> 00:26:42,045
Well, I've no idea.
475
00:26:42,045 --> 00:26:44,061
I mean, I know where all
the self-storage units are.
476
00:26:44,061 --> 00:26:46,073
But where do the mega rich
keep their money, I mean...
477
00:26:48,017 --> 00:26:51,089
- I don't like the sound of that.
- Oh, do you think they've broken in?
478
00:26:51,089 --> 00:26:53,065
No! They're cleverer than that.
479
00:26:53,065 --> 00:26:55,077
They've found a way of
setting off the alarm remotely.
480
00:26:55,077 --> 00:26:57,017
And now they're coming in to fix it.
481
00:26:57,017 --> 00:26:58,049
Whoa, whoa!
482
00:26:58,049 --> 00:27:00,061
You're not seriously
thinking of going after them?
483
00:27:00,061 --> 00:27:02,045
We can't let them get away with it!
484
00:27:09,057 --> 00:27:12,021
Ah, Mr Kusk.
485
00:27:49,005 --> 00:27:52,073
What I am about to do,
Mr Kusk, is not pleasant.
486
00:27:53,085 --> 00:27:58,057
But, on the plus side,
at least you will be symmetrical.
487
00:28:02,009 --> 00:28:03,065
But they're dangerous!
488
00:28:03,065 --> 00:28:05,053
- I can't let you in.
- I'm CID.
489
00:28:05,053 --> 00:28:06,085
That's a Clubcard.
490
00:28:08,053 --> 00:28:09,089
The police are on their way!
491
00:28:09,089 --> 00:28:11,057
I can't let you in.
492
00:28:11,057 --> 00:28:12,073
Oh! Oh, I need to help!
493
00:28:12,073 --> 00:28:15,021
Oh, the baby's coming! Oh, it's coming.
494
00:28:15,021 --> 00:28:17,025
Please, I just need to lie down.
495
00:28:17,025 --> 00:28:18,081
Get backup! Get an ambulance!
496
00:28:18,081 --> 00:28:20,045
- All right! Get a towel!
- Oh, thank goodness!
497
00:28:24,013 --> 00:28:25,025
Good job!
498
00:28:25,025 --> 00:28:27,021
Why have I never thought of that?
499
00:28:27,021 --> 00:28:30,029
- Hang on.
- Oh, I'm ever so dizzy.
500
00:28:31,057 --> 00:28:33,009
Here, grab that.
501
00:28:33,009 --> 00:28:35,053
If anyone tries to escape, let 'em have it.OK.
502
00:28:35,053 --> 00:28:37,073
Oh, Frank.
503
00:28:37,073 --> 00:28:39,005
Be careful.
504
00:28:39,005 --> 00:28:40,089
Uh, yeah, uh... Yeah.
505
00:28:42,017 --> 00:28:44,021
OK, right.
506
00:28:48,085 --> 00:28:52,073
Ah, you've come to admire my handiwork?
507
00:28:52,073 --> 00:28:54,065
No, I've come to stop you.
508
00:28:54,065 --> 00:28:56,073
And how are you going to do that?
509
00:28:56,073 --> 00:29:00,077
With your good manners and
your British sense of fair play?
510
00:29:00,077 --> 00:29:04,077
No, with my British ingenuity and my...
511
00:29:04,077 --> 00:29:06,077
..bulldog spirit.
512
00:29:06,077 --> 00:29:08,069
Aw, who is a clever little doggy?
513
00:29:08,069 --> 00:29:13,057
But this is one bone
you're not going to chew.
514
00:29:17,001 --> 00:29:18,029
Bye-bye.
515
00:29:23,097 --> 00:29:26,069
Ooh! Ah!
516
00:29:26,069 --> 00:29:28,081
Ugh! Just...
517
00:29:34,089 --> 00:29:36,037
Sorry!
518
00:29:39,097 --> 00:29:41,033
Well, come on.
519
00:29:42,089 --> 00:29:44,005
Well done, Frank.
520
00:29:44,005 --> 00:29:45,089
You've managed to lose both suspects
521
00:29:45,089 --> 00:29:48,045
and our murder victim is
getting smaller by the minute.
522
00:29:48,045 --> 00:29:51,013
I did warn you the other
hand was worth a fortune!
523
00:29:52,057 --> 00:29:54,081
But at least you've got them on CCTV.
524
00:29:54,081 --> 00:29:56,013
We have indeed.
525
00:29:56,013 --> 00:29:57,093
Dimitri Kapel and Alek Hodzic.
526
00:29:57,093 --> 00:30:00,029
Somewhere near the top of
Interpol's most wanted list.
527
00:30:00,029 --> 00:30:01,081
And we know where they're going!
528
00:30:01,081 --> 00:30:04,053
Because they're going
to go straight to, erm...
529
00:30:04,053 --> 00:30:06,057
Straight to, you know, the, erm...
530
00:30:06,057 --> 00:30:08,057
Oh, come on, you know where they are.
531
00:30:08,057 --> 00:30:10,025
You know where the vault is.
532
00:30:10,025 --> 00:30:12,025
We've made a list of possible places.
533
00:30:12,025 --> 00:30:14,077
We've put all the banks and
storage facilities on high alert.
534
00:30:14,077 --> 00:30:17,021
We just don't know which one he used yet.
535
00:30:17,021 --> 00:30:18,049
Well, don't worry about it.
536
00:30:18,049 --> 00:30:19,097
We'll find out tomorrow.
537
00:30:19,097 --> 00:30:22,053
When we read about the
multimillion pound art theft.
538
00:30:37,009 --> 00:30:40,025
So, once again,
I am a lone voice in the wilderness,
539
00:30:40,025 --> 00:30:44,057
a one man band, just me against the world.
540
00:30:44,057 --> 00:30:46,069
Well, you're not exactly alone, are you?
541
00:30:46,069 --> 00:30:48,013
Because you've got me
542
00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:50,081
and my incredible ability
to get past security guards.
543
00:30:50,081 --> 00:30:53,041
You've got Sebastian and
his fantastic disguises.
544
00:30:53,041 --> 00:30:54,073
And Harold.
545
00:30:54,073 --> 00:30:57,017
Harold and his amazing artistic talent.
546
00:30:57,017 --> 00:30:59,073
Yeah, we really need to talk to him.
547
00:31:03,049 --> 00:31:05,037
I'm assuming this is one of our thugs.
548
00:31:05,037 --> 00:31:06,045
Yeah.
549
00:31:06,045 --> 00:31:08,073
And that's our thug, there,
just trying to blend in with
550
00:31:08,073 --> 00:31:11,053
the crowd, and then, er!
Whoops, there's my hand!
551
00:31:11,053 --> 00:31:14,017
I mean, what is that? Is it a helmet?
552
00:31:14,017 --> 00:31:15,069
A crown...?
553
00:31:15,069 --> 00:31:17,069
And the title, what does that mean?
554
00:31:17,069 --> 00:31:19,065
- Aah.
- Aah...
555
00:31:19,065 --> 00:31:21,097
There's only one way to find out, isn't there?
556
00:31:28,045 --> 00:31:29,073
Hello?
557
00:31:29,073 --> 00:31:31,045
Sebastian, what are you up to?
558
00:31:31,045 --> 00:31:35,085
Just aligning my inner chakra.
559
00:31:35,085 --> 00:31:37,057
Ask him about Harold's drawing.
560
00:31:37,057 --> 00:31:38,061
I know!
561
00:31:38,061 --> 00:31:40,065
Can you ask Harold about his drawings?
562
00:31:41,061 --> 00:31:45,021
Harold? Do you remember your drawing?
563
00:31:45,021 --> 00:31:46,025
Drawings?
564
00:31:47,033 --> 00:31:49,001
Oh, my drawings!
565
00:31:52,033 --> 00:31:53,069
Do you want to buy it?
566
00:31:53,069 --> 00:31:56,009
No, we were wondering about the title.
567
00:31:56,009 --> 00:31:59,053
- You've called it, "Ah"?
- Ah?
568
00:32:00,049 --> 00:32:03,069
Oh, no, no, no, that was the
logo on the side of the car.
569
00:32:03,069 --> 00:32:05,045
What car?
570
00:32:05,045 --> 00:32:08,025
You know, the one that chased
that fellow whose hand flew off.
571
00:32:09,069 --> 00:32:12,061
And there were some guards
inside that car too you know
572
00:32:12,061 --> 00:32:15,057
and, on the side of it, there was a logo.
573
00:32:15,057 --> 00:32:21,013
It was like a... like a crown
with "AH" written in the centre.
574
00:32:21,013 --> 00:32:24,001
Thanks, Harold. Thanks, Sebastian.
575
00:32:24,001 --> 00:32:25,073
It's a crown.
576
00:32:25,073 --> 00:32:28,097
Well, that has to be the bank
that's chasing him. Yes! AH! AH!
577
00:32:28,097 --> 00:32:30,073
- Andronicus House!
- Andronicus House!
578
00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:33,089
Britain's most exclusive,
fortified, private storage facility.
579
00:32:34,097 --> 00:32:37,053
That must be it! And we are going in.
580
00:32:37,053 --> 00:32:39,025
But not dressed like that, you're not.
581
00:32:39,025 --> 00:32:40,041
What?
582
00:33:09,037 --> 00:33:11,033
Oh, yes, Frank, this is very me.
583
00:33:11,033 --> 00:33:13,017
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
584
00:33:13,017 --> 00:33:14,021
Thanks.
585
00:33:15,073 --> 00:33:17,009
So...
586
00:33:17,009 --> 00:33:21,073
..this is how the other 0.05% live, is it?
587
00:33:21,073 --> 00:33:23,069
I wonder if anyone's single?
588
00:33:24,081 --> 00:33:26,013
I might try and bag myself an...
589
00:33:32,081 --> 00:33:34,013
What are you doing here?!
590
00:33:35,045 --> 00:33:36,093
The same as everyone.
591
00:33:36,093 --> 00:33:38,057
Trying to survive.
592
00:33:39,057 --> 00:33:41,041
You know who these men are?!
593
00:33:41,041 --> 00:33:43,033
They murdered your husband!
594
00:33:43,033 --> 00:33:45,017
They cut his hand off to
use as a skeleton key!
595
00:33:45,017 --> 00:33:47,069
Of course I know!
596
00:33:47,069 --> 00:33:50,089
But, as I probably won't
get a penny in the will,
597
00:33:50,089 --> 00:33:53,073
this is my one chance of a pension fund.
598
00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:55,037
You heard the lady.
599
00:33:55,037 --> 00:33:58,073
She does not need your
services, so run along.
600
00:33:58,073 --> 00:34:00,093
I think he might be right.
We should run along.
601
00:34:00,093 --> 00:34:02,037
What?!
602
00:34:02,037 --> 00:34:03,093
To the police station.
603
00:34:03,093 --> 00:34:05,061
Ask them to get the cells ready.
604
00:34:05,061 --> 00:34:07,001
Unless, of course...
605
00:34:07,001 --> 00:34:08,041
Yes?
606
00:34:08,041 --> 00:34:11,045
..you could buy our silence with a painting?
607
00:34:11,045 --> 00:34:14,001
Just a little something
we can sell onto a friend.
608
00:34:14,001 --> 00:34:17,033
A Dali, maybe? A da Vinci?
609
00:34:17,033 --> 00:34:19,061
Don't try to palm us
off with any old Pollocks.
610
00:34:19,061 --> 00:34:21,009
Frank, what are you doing?
611
00:34:21,009 --> 00:34:23,025
Well, business is hardly booming, is it?
612
00:34:23,025 --> 00:34:25,009
Won't get anything
for handing them in.
613
00:34:25,009 --> 00:34:27,069
How do I know I can trust you?
614
00:34:27,069 --> 00:34:29,069
Well, I don't think you have a choice.
615
00:34:29,069 --> 00:34:30,073
After you.
616
00:34:37,081 --> 00:34:40,013
So, you three were in league from the start?
617
00:34:40,013 --> 00:34:42,069
I have only just met these gentlemen.
618
00:34:42,069 --> 00:34:44,097
I sent their photo to a
friend in the secret police
619
00:34:44,097 --> 00:34:46,061
and he put me in touch.
620
00:34:46,061 --> 00:34:48,097
We are very well-connected, you know.
621
00:34:48,097 --> 00:34:51,009
They tried to get in the vault this morning,
622
00:34:51,009 --> 00:34:54,053
but security asked some awkward
questions and they had to flee.
623
00:34:54,053 --> 00:34:58,005
So, I said I would smooth
things over for them.
624
00:34:59,025 --> 00:35:01,041
One big happy family, eh?
625
00:35:01,041 --> 00:35:03,065
Welcome to Andronicus House.
626
00:35:03,065 --> 00:35:05,037
You may enter your vault.
627
00:35:29,021 --> 00:35:30,033
Well?
628
00:35:30,033 --> 00:35:31,085
Aren't you going to let us in?
629
00:35:31,085 --> 00:35:33,037
I think there's something wrong.
630
00:35:33,037 --> 00:35:35,065
Yes.
631
00:35:35,065 --> 00:35:39,005
Something very wrong, indeed.
632
00:35:39,005 --> 00:35:41,009
Pavel! I thought you were dead?!
633
00:35:41,009 --> 00:35:42,033
Well, I was.
634
00:35:42,033 --> 00:35:46,089
I just had to crawl out of my grave
to find out who'd been robbing me.
635
00:35:46,089 --> 00:35:48,037
Did you know?
636
00:35:48,037 --> 00:35:49,065
Hold on a sec.
637
00:35:54,049 --> 00:35:56,037
You are so annoying.
638
00:35:57,057 --> 00:36:00,013
Mr Kusk, Frank Hathaway.
639
00:36:00,013 --> 00:36:02,029
I've been investigating your murder.
640
00:36:02,029 --> 00:36:04,001
Anything I can do to help?
641
00:36:04,001 --> 00:36:06,041
I had my suspicions from the off.
642
00:36:06,041 --> 00:36:08,077
Two whisky glasses in the hotel room.
643
00:36:08,077 --> 00:36:12,097
Which suggests that an
earlier friendly visitor came to
644
00:36:12,097 --> 00:36:15,037
call before the Brothers Grim, here?
645
00:36:15,037 --> 00:36:17,041
And then I realised we'd
forgotten somebody.
646
00:36:17,041 --> 00:36:20,017
- Who?
- Your brother-in-law, Petrov.
647
00:36:20,017 --> 00:36:23,005
He told you Pavel was
coming to close down the vault.
648
00:36:23,005 --> 00:36:25,065
And he wanted to get his
hands on the contents.
649
00:36:25,065 --> 00:36:28,033
He came to see you last night at
the worst possible time, didn't he?
650
00:36:28,033 --> 00:36:30,049
He did.
651
00:36:30,049 --> 00:36:32,081
My brother, Petrov, was a sweet man,
652
00:36:32,081 --> 00:36:35,049
but he was always
haranguing me for a hand-out.
653
00:36:35,049 --> 00:36:38,041
And, last night, I was resting in my room,
654
00:36:38,041 --> 00:36:40,061
when who comes hammering on the door?
655
00:36:40,061 --> 00:36:45,025
He pleaded with me,
"Just a couple of million!"
656
00:36:45,025 --> 00:36:46,081
I took refuge in the bathroom.
657
00:36:49,061 --> 00:36:53,045
And that's when these
subhuman species came.
658
00:36:56,025 --> 00:37:01,069
They took Petrov's life and
then they took his hand.
659
00:37:06,001 --> 00:37:08,061
And, yes, I saw it all through the keyhole.
660
00:37:08,061 --> 00:37:10,037
But, if I had opened the door,
661
00:37:10,037 --> 00:37:15,053
there would have been another
corpse on the bedroom floor.
662
00:37:15,053 --> 00:37:16,057
Hang on!
663
00:37:16,057 --> 00:37:19,041
How have they been getting
through all the security doors
664
00:37:19,041 --> 00:37:21,073
if that's not your hand?
665
00:37:23,045 --> 00:37:28,029
I told my friends at the
bank to bypass the security.
666
00:37:28,029 --> 00:37:30,097
I said, "You can let anybody in.
667
00:37:30,097 --> 00:37:32,077
"But don't let anybody out."
668
00:37:34,009 --> 00:37:36,017
I think they will let me out.
669
00:37:37,065 --> 00:37:39,025
If I have a hostage.
670
00:37:43,005 --> 00:37:46,009
Now, won't you let me into your vault?
671
00:37:48,025 --> 00:37:50,073
Everything that's precious
to me is in that room.
672
00:37:51,073 --> 00:37:55,021
The most beautiful pictures in the world.
673
00:37:55,021 --> 00:37:58,025
Why would I show them to a thug like you?
674
00:37:58,025 --> 00:37:59,073
Because, if you do not,
675
00:37:59,073 --> 00:38:01,037
I will paint the walls red
676
00:38:01,037 --> 00:38:02,097
with blood.
677
00:38:09,033 --> 00:38:11,045
Now opening vault nine.
678
00:38:26,097 --> 00:38:29,045
Welcome to my world.
679
00:38:30,097 --> 00:38:35,025
I would offer you a chair,
but I come here to get away from people.
680
00:38:35,025 --> 00:38:38,017
So, which of these is the most valuable?
681
00:38:38,017 --> 00:38:40,025
I think they're all precious.
682
00:38:42,053 --> 00:38:44,073
They're the work of your
little boy, aren't they?
683
00:38:44,073 --> 00:38:48,065
Ivan, the little boy you lost.
684
00:38:48,065 --> 00:38:49,085
26 years ago.
685
00:38:51,001 --> 00:38:53,073
On holiday.
686
00:38:53,073 --> 00:38:55,025
Just down the road from here.
687
00:38:55,025 --> 00:39:00,085
I kept this as a kind of shrine
and somewhere to escape to.
688
00:39:00,085 --> 00:39:07,057
Petrov said you had Picassos
and Van Goghs in here.
689
00:39:07,057 --> 00:39:12,045
He always did have a vivid imagination.
690
00:39:12,045 --> 00:39:14,025
But I never corrected him.
691
00:39:15,045 --> 00:39:18,021
I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me.
692
00:39:20,073 --> 00:39:24,085
Is that why you pushed me away?
693
00:39:26,009 --> 00:39:27,077
All those years ago?
694
00:39:29,009 --> 00:39:31,009
I am so sorry.
695
00:39:32,097 --> 00:39:34,093
So, these paintings.
696
00:39:34,093 --> 00:39:36,073
Are they really valuable?
697
00:39:38,001 --> 00:39:42,001
Only to us.
698
00:39:42,001 --> 00:39:44,053
No, come on.
699
00:39:44,053 --> 00:39:46,025
Hang on a minute! Eh?
700
00:39:48,001 --> 00:39:49,025
What about this one, eh?
701
00:39:50,097 --> 00:39:52,045
Look at that.
702
00:39:53,069 --> 00:39:59,021
The world famous Pig of Pontefract.
703
00:39:59,021 --> 00:40:01,049
That is priceless.
704
00:40:01,049 --> 00:40:03,037
Pig of Pontefract...?
705
00:40:06,029 --> 00:40:08,041
Bye-bye.
706
00:40:08,041 --> 00:40:09,045
Hey!
707
00:40:11,065 --> 00:40:13,033
Vault nine secured.
708
00:40:25,053 --> 00:40:28,029
So, the murderers are in vault nine.
709
00:40:28,029 --> 00:40:31,021
The art is God knows where.
710
00:40:31,021 --> 00:40:33,045
And the murder victim, well,
711
00:40:33,045 --> 00:40:35,057
- here he is.
- Hello!
712
00:40:36,085 --> 00:40:39,029
Is anyone going to explain what's going on?
713
00:40:39,029 --> 00:40:41,025
This lady here can tell you most of it.
714
00:40:41,025 --> 00:40:42,065
I'll come, too.
715
00:40:42,065 --> 00:40:45,001
We've got quite a lot to catch up on.
716
00:40:55,049 --> 00:41:00,001
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
we come to the final resting place
717
00:41:00,001 --> 00:41:03,005
of the greatest poet and
playwright in the world.
718
00:41:04,029 --> 00:41:06,049
William Shakespeare.
719
00:41:06,049 --> 00:41:12,053
So, it is time for us to reach out
to the undead spirit of the Bard.
720
00:41:13,045 --> 00:41:16,085
He's really rather good, isn't he?
721
00:41:16,085 --> 00:41:18,069
If you like that sort of thing.
722
00:41:18,069 --> 00:41:24,025
Will, Will, where art thou, Will?
723
00:41:24,025 --> 00:41:26,013
Can you do that? Yes? Come on, everyone.
724
00:41:26,013 --> 00:41:30,041
Do you know, they got so sick of him
stealing punters that, in the end,
they just had to give him a job?
725
00:41:30,041 --> 00:41:32,041
Yeah. That's what I do
with all my ne'er-do-wells.
726
00:41:32,041 --> 00:41:33,061
Oh, ha-ha!
727
00:41:33,061 --> 00:41:35,097
Where art thou, Will?!
728
00:41:35,097 --> 00:41:39,009
Greetings, mortals!
729
00:41:39,009 --> 00:41:41,089
I am Will!
730
00:41:41,089 --> 00:41:44,085
Writer with the golden quill.
731
00:41:44,085 --> 00:41:48,081
Back from the grave,
though God knows how.
732
00:41:48,081 --> 00:41:53,005
So, come and get your selfies now.
733
00:41:56,009 --> 00:41:57,069
I'm going to get a selfie.
734
00:42:01,005 --> 00:42:05,045
Hello, excuse me?
Can I have a selfie? Thanks.
735
00:42:07,077 --> 00:42:09,069
Thanks!
736
00:42:09,069 --> 00:42:11,053
- Do you want one?
- No.
737
00:42:11,053 --> 00:42:13,005
Right.
738
00:42:14,069 --> 00:42:16,085
After this awful ordeal is over,
739
00:42:16,085 --> 00:42:18,089
do you fancy a drink at the Mucky Mallard?
740
00:42:18,089 --> 00:42:20,081
Sounds like a plan.
741
00:42:20,081 --> 00:42:24,037
- The landlord won't serve you, though.
- What? Why not?
742
00:42:24,037 --> 00:42:25,077
Because you're BARD!
743
00:42:25,077 --> 00:42:27,017
Do you get it?
744
00:42:29,061 --> 00:42:31,001
Please yourself.
54070
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