Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,007 --> 00:00:02,509
WOMAN: The largest ice sheet
in the Northern Hemisphere
2
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:04,344
is simply melting away.
(REMOTE CLICKS)
3
00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:07,314
MAN: The five-alarm forest fire rages on.
4
00:00:07,349 --> 00:00:09,649
(REMOTE CLICKS)
A Florida man on bath salts
5
00:00:09,685 --> 00:00:11,218
has eaten a woman's face.
6
00:00:11,253 --> 00:00:12,819
Ay-yi-yi.
(REMOTE CLICKS)
7
00:00:12,855 --> 00:00:15,322
MAN #2: And Buzz Dougan
has shocked the world!
8
00:00:15,357 --> 00:00:17,691
BUZZ: I got to give thanks
to my crew and to my sponsors,
9
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,227
but mostly, I want
to give thanks to the Lord
10
00:00:20,262 --> 00:00:22,496
for the victory. And I just got
to say praise God.
11
00:00:22,531 --> 00:00:24,798
(VIDEO REWINDING)
...praise God...
12
00:00:24,833 --> 00:00:26,066
...praise God...
13
00:00:26,101 --> 00:00:27,501
(VIDEO REWINDING)
...praise God...
14
00:00:27,536 --> 00:00:28,802
(VIDEO REWINDING)
...praise...
15
00:00:28,837 --> 00:00:30,437
God?
16
00:00:30,472 --> 00:00:32,339
Oh. Uh, hey, Rosie!
17
00:00:32,374 --> 00:00:35,108
I was just, uh, working on fixing, uh,
18
00:00:35,144 --> 00:00:37,077
the problems down... down on Earth.
19
00:00:37,112 --> 00:00:39,079
It's time for your 1:00 meeting.
20
00:00:39,114 --> 00:00:41,515
Oh, fantasy-football draft?
21
00:00:41,550 --> 00:00:44,418
You were going to reveal
your plan to end all pain.
22
00:00:44,453 --> 00:00:47,087
Oh. That was today? (LAUGHING) I...
23
00:00:47,122 --> 00:00:49,156
Uh, yeah, I've been working
on that all quarter.
24
00:00:49,191 --> 00:00:50,557
You know, just crunching numbers and...
25
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,024
Okay, you heard him! He's very busy.
26
00:00:53,059 --> 00:00:54,492
He doesn't have time for this.
27
00:00:54,527 --> 00:00:56,463
Come on! Chop-chop!
28
00:00:57,733 --> 00:00:59,433
(DOOR CLOSES)
29
00:00:59,468 --> 00:01:01,701
People talk every day about
how the world is screwed up,
30
00:01:01,737 --> 00:01:03,770
but... man, I say we're blessed.
31
00:01:03,806 --> 00:01:05,274
Great things happen every day.
32
00:01:05,309 --> 00:01:06,673
Great things!
33
00:01:06,708 --> 00:01:08,308
(LAUGHS) Whoo!
34
00:01:08,343 --> 00:01:10,811
And that, of course, was
Buzz Dougan's final interview
35
00:01:10,846 --> 00:01:13,747
before his horrific explosion at Daytona.
36
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,015
He is dead.
37
00:01:15,050 --> 00:01:16,983
Come on!
Next up, the polar ice caps
38
00:01:17,019 --> 00:01:18,685
are melting at a historic rate.
39
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,487
(SIGHS)
Scientists really cannot believe
40
00:01:20,522 --> 00:01:22,122
what is happening to our Mother Earth.
41
00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:24,524
(REPORTERS TALKING AT ONCE)
42
00:01:28,590 --> 00:01:30,423
Hoochie mama.
43
00:01:32,401 --> 00:01:39,840
♪
44
00:01:39,875 --> 00:01:41,908
(BELL DINGING)
45
00:01:41,944 --> 00:01:47,547
♪
46
00:01:47,583 --> 00:01:48,849
(SCREAMING)
47
00:01:48,884 --> 00:01:54,506
♪
48
00:01:54,541 --> 00:02:02,539
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
49
00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:06,800
MAN ON P.A.: Attention Heaven Inc...
50
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:09,236
Morning shift starts now.
51
00:02:10,873 --> 00:02:12,472
More budget cuts.
52
00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:18,345
♪
53
00:02:18,380 --> 00:02:23,850
♪
54
00:02:23,886 --> 00:02:27,120
And in this next constellation,
as you can see,
55
00:02:27,155 --> 00:02:30,690
if you connect all of the dots,
you get...
56
00:02:30,726 --> 00:02:32,079
a bear!
57
00:02:32,115 --> 00:02:33,927
What?
58
00:02:33,962 --> 00:02:36,530
He's the VP's nephew.
59
00:02:36,565 --> 00:02:38,698
Oh.
60
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,534
A really big bear!
61
00:02:42,738 --> 00:02:44,671
(SIREN WAILS)
62
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:54,281
♪
63
00:02:54,316 --> 00:02:57,250
GAIL: (SIGHS) Okay, Eliza Hunter.
64
00:02:57,286 --> 00:02:59,286
So, you've applied for a transfer.
65
00:02:59,321 --> 00:03:00,987
What is wrong with the...
66
00:03:01,023 --> 00:03:03,323
Department of Dirt?
Oh, nothing.
67
00:03:03,358 --> 00:03:05,759
It has been a really rewarding experience
68
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:09,329
making millions of tiny
dirt clumps and wetting them,
69
00:03:09,364 --> 00:03:12,532
drying them, watching them blow away,
70
00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:15,001
but I think I might be ready
71
00:03:15,037 --> 00:03:16,336
for a little more responsibility.
72
00:03:16,371 --> 00:03:17,704
Why is that? The Department of Dirt
73
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,606
is one of the most stable jobs
we've got here.
74
00:03:19,641 --> 00:03:22,375
Mark worked in the Department
of Dirt for 80,000 years.
75
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:26,212
Got his pension, has a
very nice condo, and he's happy.
76
00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:27,781
I know. I'm really happy for Mark.
77
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,449
I just...
78
00:03:29,484 --> 00:03:32,352
I just feel like there's a lot
of big problems down on Earth,
79
00:03:32,387 --> 00:03:34,220
and I want to do more to help.
80
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,089
Eliza, I know you're new here,
81
00:03:36,124 --> 00:03:37,924
but there's something
you've got to understand.
82
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,359
It's way too late to fix Earth.
83
00:03:39,394 --> 00:03:40,961
It's not 30,000 B.C. anymore.
84
00:03:40,996 --> 00:03:43,663
It's not 20 jacked naked people
and a bunch of rockin' dinosaurs
85
00:03:43,699 --> 00:03:45,665
gettin' nasty in
some sick-ass cave somewhere.
86
00:03:45,701 --> 00:03:47,467
I don't... I don't think
that's how that was.
87
00:03:47,502 --> 00:03:49,235
My point is, you can't fix Earth.
88
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,771
Not if you don't give me a shot.
89
00:03:51,807 --> 00:03:55,575
♪
90
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:57,577
Okay. Fine.
91
00:03:57,613 --> 00:04:01,381
I will transfer you to the
Department of Answered Prayers.
92
00:04:01,416 --> 00:04:03,683
Wait, there's a department
that answers prayers?
93
00:04:03,719 --> 00:04:04,851
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
94
00:04:04,886 --> 00:04:05,885
(GASPS)
95
00:04:05,921 --> 00:04:07,520
I can't wait to see it.
96
00:04:07,556 --> 00:04:09,556
(WATER DRIPPING)
97
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:17,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
98
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,902
(DOOR CLOSES)
Hello?
99
00:04:22,938 --> 00:04:24,337
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
100
00:04:24,373 --> 00:04:26,439
(KEYBOARD CLACKS, BEEPING)
101
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,375
Hello?
102
00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:29,943
Dividing all that... Hello?
103
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,511
Aah!
Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey!
104
00:04:31,546 --> 00:04:33,046
Hey, it's cool. I'm cool.
Oh.
105
00:04:33,081 --> 00:04:34,848
They just transferred me from Dirt.
106
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,049
I'm Eliza.
107
00:04:36,084 --> 00:04:37,260
Oh.
108
00:04:37,919 --> 00:04:39,285
Oh, wow. Oh, well, welcome!
109
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,954
Sorry. I'm Craig. I'm
so sorry for screaming at you.
110
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,757
I've been alone for years.
And I wasn't expecting anyone.
111
00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:45,025
It's all good.
112
00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:46,993
It is a little dark in here, huh?
113
00:04:47,029 --> 00:04:48,561
I-I-I don't know.
114
00:04:48,597 --> 00:04:50,630
(BANG)
WOMAN: Lights are on.
115
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,632
All right, so, which prayer
do we answer first?
116
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:54,701
Saving a life, curing a disease...?
117
00:04:54,736 --> 00:04:56,503
You have arrived at a great moment.
118
00:04:56,538 --> 00:04:59,072
This one is set to be a nail-biter.
119
00:04:59,107 --> 00:05:00,473
All right.
120
00:05:01,376 --> 00:05:03,443
Please let me find my car keys.
121
00:05:03,478 --> 00:05:04,978
Keys.
122
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,346
Okay, yeah, guess we gotta get
123
00:05:06,381 --> 00:05:07,480
this little one out of the way.
124
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,182
Let's zap her the keys.
Oh, no.
125
00:05:09,217 --> 00:05:11,351
We can't break the laws of physics.
126
00:05:11,386 --> 00:05:13,053
No zapping. No flying.
127
00:05:13,088 --> 00:05:14,387
Nothing they're gonna notice.
128
00:05:14,423 --> 00:05:16,256
So how do we answer prayers?
129
00:05:16,291 --> 00:05:19,993
Discreet, natural phenomena.
130
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,728
Ha ha ha.
131
00:05:21,763 --> 00:05:23,296
Sneaky, sneaky.
132
00:05:23,331 --> 00:05:26,299
Teasing me from beneath the snow.
133
00:05:26,334 --> 00:05:29,769
Ah, but you can't hide from Papa.
134
00:05:29,805 --> 00:05:32,839
No, Papa sees you.
135
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,607
And Papa is coming for you.
136
00:05:34,643 --> 00:05:36,843
WOMAN: One snowflake melted.
137
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:39,479
(KEYBOARD CLACKS)
Two snowflakes melted.
138
00:05:39,514 --> 00:05:41,881
I'm sorry. How much longer
is this gonna...
139
00:05:41,917 --> 00:05:45,819
900,317 snowflakes melted.
140
00:05:45,854 --> 00:05:48,488
WOMAN #2: My keys!
WOMAN #1: Prayer complete.
141
00:05:48,523 --> 00:05:51,925
Okay, okay. So, now we move
onto something bigger...?
142
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,294
Well, no, no, no. We're not done yet.
143
00:05:54,329 --> 00:05:56,196
Here's something fun.
144
00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:58,198
And you can put it on the wall.
145
00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,899
Uh, let's see. We've got lost keys...
146
00:05:59,935 --> 00:06:01,968
lost keys... lost keys.
147
00:06:02,003 --> 00:06:03,169
A lot of lost keys this month.
148
00:06:03,205 --> 00:06:05,138
Ah! I found a good one.
What?
149
00:06:05,173 --> 00:06:06,306
Let's see.
150
00:06:06,341 --> 00:06:08,374
(SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN) _
151
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:09,943
Okay, let's get started. Um...
152
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:12,312
Oh, uh, I'll handle this.
153
00:06:13,014 --> 00:06:14,047
Wha...
(SCREAMS)
154
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,215
Whoa! You're just gonna let
155
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,750
those wolves go to town on that guy?
156
00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:18,551
I find it's best
to stick with the small ones.
157
00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,854
But don't worry. "Impossibles"
go all the way to the top.
158
00:06:20,889 --> 00:06:23,723
And so, if anyone
can handle them, he can.
159
00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:25,492
Oh, okay.
160
00:06:29,364 --> 00:06:32,298
(GRUNTS) Ahh! Jordan!
161
00:06:33,235 --> 00:06:34,968
Damn it!
162
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:36,970
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS)
163
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:40,707
God, I know it's been
a rough few thousand years,
164
00:06:40,742 --> 00:06:42,842
but I think you're being
too hard on yourself.
165
00:06:42,878 --> 00:06:45,445
You know, you've still got
a lot of fans down there.
166
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,280
Not like before.
167
00:06:47,315 --> 00:06:50,183
Do you know how long it's been since
someone sacrificed a ram to me?
168
00:06:50,218 --> 00:06:51,518
I thought that grossed you out.
169
00:06:51,553 --> 00:06:52,752
You know, it did. But at the same time,
170
00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:54,754
there was something nice about it.
171
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,990
I mean, it made me feel like, you know,
172
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:59,092
hey, I'm doing all right.
Mm.
173
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:02,996
Now sometimes I just
feel like packing it all in
174
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:04,697
and moving on to the next thing.
(BELL TOLLING)
175
00:07:04,733 --> 00:07:06,332
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
176
00:07:06,368 --> 00:07:08,536
Let's, uh... Let's not do
anything drastic, you know?
177
00:07:08,572 --> 00:07:10,036
Let's give it a beat.
178
00:07:10,071 --> 00:07:11,604
Things will improve.
179
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,806
They better.
180
00:07:12,841 --> 00:07:14,812
♪
181
00:07:14,847 --> 00:07:16,609
Impossible.
182
00:07:19,113 --> 00:07:20,513
Impossible.
183
00:07:20,782 --> 00:07:23,716
(RUMBLING)
Oh! Incoming!
184
00:07:23,752 --> 00:07:24,818
(BELL RINGS)
185
00:07:24,853 --> 00:07:27,220
WOMAN: 2 million prayers received.
186
00:07:27,255 --> 00:07:29,823
This department seems
wildly understaffed!
187
00:07:29,858 --> 00:07:32,725
It was designed to accommodate
a much smaller Earth population.
188
00:07:32,761 --> 00:07:34,828
No one ever imagined the planet
was gonna get this crowded.
189
00:07:34,863 --> 00:07:36,396
There's no way we can answer
all of those.
190
00:07:36,431 --> 00:07:38,698
I generally try and shoot
for three, four a day.
191
00:07:38,733 --> 00:07:40,800
Although, now that
I've got you, a teammate,
192
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:42,168
there's no telling what we can do.
193
00:07:42,204 --> 00:07:44,270
I'm thinking five... six...
194
00:07:44,306 --> 00:07:46,573
Maybe as many as six!
195
00:07:47,909 --> 00:07:49,576
(DOOR CLOSES)
196
00:07:50,412 --> 00:07:52,572
CRAIG: Hyah! Hyah!
197
00:07:52,607 --> 00:07:54,699
Oh! _
198
00:07:54,734 --> 00:07:57,684
♪
199
00:07:57,719 --> 00:07:59,152
Uhh!
200
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,287
Uhh! Uhh!
201
00:08:01,323 --> 00:08:03,022
Uhh! Hyah! Ha!
202
00:08:03,058 --> 00:08:04,257
Oh!
203
00:08:04,292 --> 00:08:08,094
♪
204
00:08:08,129 --> 00:08:09,329
(BEEP)
205
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,464
WOMAN: Rain sequence initiated.
206
00:08:11,499 --> 00:08:12,899
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
207
00:08:14,336 --> 00:08:17,070
(LAUGHS)
208
00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:19,539
(GASPS) Yes!
209
00:08:19,574 --> 00:08:21,140
WOMAN: Prayer complete.
210
00:08:21,176 --> 00:08:24,577
(ALARM BLARING)
211
00:08:25,247 --> 00:08:27,447
No!
212
00:08:27,482 --> 00:08:28,982
What happened? What did you do?
213
00:08:29,017 --> 00:08:30,216
Is that a good alarm?
214
00:08:30,252 --> 00:08:33,119
Wails of grief intermingle with
the shrieking of the death winds
215
00:08:33,154 --> 00:08:36,055
as the typhoon rages on,
taking the lives,
216
00:08:36,091 --> 00:08:37,457
and dignity, of thousands.
217
00:08:37,492 --> 00:08:38,925
There's gotta be something we can do.
218
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,693
I mean, you can press F7.
Does that stop typhoons?
219
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,061
No, it turns the sound off.
220
00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:43,630
...this is horrible...
WOMAN: Mute.
221
00:08:43,665 --> 00:08:45,999
Oh.
Overflow. Overflow.
222
00:08:46,034 --> 00:08:48,134
Don't beat yourself up.
Hey, it's your first day.
223
00:08:48,169 --> 00:08:50,603
We all make mistakes.
Oh, here's something fun...
224
00:08:50,639 --> 00:08:52,372
Related prayers
all come out together bundled.
225
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,506
It's a way to speed... What do they say?!
226
00:08:53,541 --> 00:08:54,774
Oh, well, yeah, you know...
227
00:08:54,809 --> 00:08:55,909
"Please save me," "Please save me,"
228
00:08:55,944 --> 00:08:57,143
"Save me," "Please save me."
229
00:08:57,178 --> 00:08:59,112
"Please kill me."
230
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:00,914
That's pretty chilling.
231
00:09:00,949 --> 00:09:03,283
Come on, we gotta get these up there!
232
00:09:03,318 --> 00:09:05,585
Oh, n... Don't. Okay.
Prayer jam.
233
00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:07,320
Maybe if I can unclog the tube...
234
00:09:07,355 --> 00:09:09,055
Ooh. Missing glove!
235
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,356
(KEYBOARD CLACKS, BEEPS)
236
00:09:10,392 --> 00:09:13,259
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)
237
00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:17,297
♪
238
00:09:17,332 --> 00:09:19,232
Uh, where are you going?
239
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,500
To fix this.
240
00:09:20,535 --> 00:09:23,503
(ALARM BLARING)
Tragedy. Tragedy.
241
00:09:23,538 --> 00:09:25,939
Tragedy. Tragedy.
242
00:09:25,974 --> 00:09:28,608
Tragedy. Tragedy.
243
00:09:28,643 --> 00:09:32,745
Oh, Lazy Susan, love of my life.
244
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,948
If only everything worked as good as you.
245
00:09:34,983 --> 00:09:36,616
(DOOR SLAMS OPENS)
246
00:09:36,651 --> 00:09:39,118
I'm sorry, sir. I told her you were busy.
247
00:09:39,688 --> 00:09:41,020
It's all good.
248
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,066
Hey.
249
00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:46,194
God.
250
00:09:47,716 --> 00:09:49,382
Hi. Hi.
251
00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:51,624
Eliza. What's up?
252
00:09:51,779 --> 00:09:54,914
Okay, there is a crazy typhoon happening,
253
00:09:54,939 --> 00:09:56,739
and it's killing lots of people.
254
00:09:56,838 --> 00:09:58,004
Can you help?
255
00:09:58,039 --> 00:10:01,084
I don't want to sound cynical,
but what's the point?
256
00:10:01,676 --> 00:10:04,911
Uh, the point is, you're God.
257
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,381
You made Earth, okay? It is yours.
258
00:10:08,416 --> 00:10:11,046
And right now, it is in big, big trouble.
259
00:10:11,082 --> 00:10:13,086
It is a mess! People are dying!
260
00:10:13,121 --> 00:10:15,722
And you... you are
the only one that can fix it.
261
00:10:15,757 --> 00:10:18,124
Please, you have got to do something.
262
00:10:20,979 --> 00:10:22,522
You know what?
263
00:10:23,565 --> 00:10:25,264
You're right.
264
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:27,834
♪
265
00:10:27,869 --> 00:10:30,803
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
266
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,805
I've been here 10,000 years.
267
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:35,008
He's never addressed
the whole company before.
268
00:10:35,043 --> 00:10:36,009
(FEEDBACK)
269
00:10:36,044 --> 00:10:38,411
Hi.
(FEEDBACK, CROWD GROANING)
270
00:10:38,446 --> 00:10:40,546
Sorry, guys. Sorry.
271
00:10:40,582 --> 00:10:42,142
Is that God?
272
00:10:42,177 --> 00:10:43,816
Um...
273
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,774
Can they hear me?
Yeah. Just lean in.
274
00:10:45,810 --> 00:10:47,787
Yeah. Um...
275
00:10:47,822 --> 00:10:52,025
so, I've decided to blow up Earth.
276
00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:53,226
(CROWD GASPS)
277
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:56,969
And, uh...
278
00:10:56,994 --> 00:10:58,194
I guess that's it.
279
00:10:58,219 --> 00:10:59,225
All right.
280
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,835
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
281
00:11:04,605 --> 00:11:07,932
So, uh, just to be totally clear...
282
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:12,136
you want to destroy the entire
world and kill everyone?
283
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,069
Yeah. But that's not why
I brought you in here.
284
00:11:14,104 --> 00:11:16,054
We have something bigger to discuss...
285
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,619
my next thing.
286
00:11:18,027 --> 00:11:21,062
I bet you a hundo
you can't guess what it is.
287
00:11:22,198 --> 00:11:25,266
♪
288
00:11:25,301 --> 00:11:26,667
Is it a new planet?
289
00:11:26,703 --> 00:11:27,802
You owe me a hundo!
290
00:11:27,837 --> 00:11:29,937
This here is a restaurant.
291
00:11:29,973 --> 00:11:33,174
What?
I call it... Lazy Susan's.
292
00:11:33,209 --> 00:11:36,511
Okay, what two things
do people love the most?
293
00:11:36,546 --> 00:11:38,412
Uh...
Great food.
294
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,481
And lazy rivers. Right?
295
00:11:40,517 --> 00:11:41,849
Here's how it works.
296
00:11:41,885 --> 00:11:45,219
The outside is a lazy river.
297
00:11:45,255 --> 00:11:47,789
And the middle part here
is an island that has, you know,
298
00:11:47,824 --> 00:11:51,092
like, all these great chefs
making all kinds of food.
299
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,961
Now, you, you're
floating around with, uh,
300
00:11:53,997 --> 00:11:57,031
some sort of a claw-type device, right?
301
00:11:57,066 --> 00:11:58,666
And when you see a food you like,
302
00:11:58,701 --> 00:12:00,768
you just reach out with your claw,
303
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,271
and you grab it with your claw.
304
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:05,139
Couple of questions. Shoot.
305
00:12:05,175 --> 00:12:09,443
If you're blowing up the Earth,
where will the restaurant be?
306
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:12,079
Space? Somewhere in space?
307
00:12:12,115 --> 00:12:13,714
I don't know. That's your department.
308
00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:15,516
Oh. I'm involved.
309
00:12:15,552 --> 00:12:18,252
We are really doing something.
310
00:12:18,288 --> 00:12:19,722
Something amazing.
311
00:12:21,191 --> 00:12:22,475
I love you, buddy.
312
00:12:23,426 --> 00:12:24,894
I love you.
313
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:28,629
MAN ON P.A.: Reminder...
All departments are responsible
314
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,165
for the disposal of their assets.
315
00:12:31,201 --> 00:12:40,174
♪
316
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:49,150
♪
317
00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:58,159
♪
318
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:06,901
♪
319
00:13:06,936 --> 00:13:09,070
All right, that's your severance package.
320
00:13:09,105 --> 00:13:10,538
You get two weeks of health coverage
321
00:13:10,573 --> 00:13:12,673
for every thousand years of service.
322
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,408
This is horrible.
You'll land on your feet.
323
00:13:14,444 --> 00:13:17,578
There are other galaxies
out there and other jobs.
324
00:13:17,614 --> 00:13:18,980
If you want, I can put a referral in
325
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,214
for you at the Borgon Nebula.
326
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,817
W-Would I be answering prayers there?
327
00:13:22,852 --> 00:13:25,086
Well, there's no life-forms
there, so, no.
328
00:13:25,121 --> 00:13:26,654
You'd mainly be swirling debris.
329
00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:28,823
Right? And does the debris ever dance?
330
00:13:28,858 --> 00:13:30,024
What?
331
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,893
Say the debris had lost an object,
332
00:13:31,928 --> 00:13:33,361
and then that object were found for it,
333
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,529
would the debris be like...
334
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,265
(SIGHS)
335
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:39,901
Craig, look, this is
a good opportunity for you.
336
00:13:39,936 --> 00:13:41,836
You have been working for centuries.
337
00:13:41,871 --> 00:13:43,437
So just take a break.
338
00:13:43,473 --> 00:13:44,672
Hang out with your friends.
339
00:13:44,707 --> 00:13:46,207
Yes. My friends.
340
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,842
You know, you don't even need
to stick around today.
341
00:13:47,877 --> 00:13:49,310
Skip out early.
342
00:13:49,345 --> 00:13:50,878
Go get a burger with your buddies.
343
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,346
Mm. Burgers.
(LAUGHTER IN DISTANCE)
344
00:13:52,382 --> 00:13:54,749
Speaking of, looks like
happy hour's starting early.
345
00:13:54,784 --> 00:13:55,917
(LAUGHS)
346
00:13:55,952 --> 00:13:58,152
Wait for me, ya dickheads!
347
00:13:58,187 --> 00:14:00,988
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS, LAUGHTER)
348
00:14:01,024 --> 00:14:05,092
♪
349
00:14:05,128 --> 00:14:09,697
And I already have
a prototype for the claw.
350
00:14:09,732 --> 00:14:12,199
Bet you a hundo I can pick up
a single peanut.
351
00:14:14,671 --> 00:14:16,904
Damn it! It was working good before.
352
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,272
Yeah, it's a great idea for a restaurant.
353
00:14:18,308 --> 00:14:21,809
But you know what else was
a really great idea?
354
00:14:21,844 --> 00:14:23,644
Earth.
Nah.
355
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,546
Come on, you said it yourself...
It's a mess.
356
00:14:25,581 --> 00:14:27,315
I mean, look at all those prayers.
357
00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:28,768
They're impossible.
358
00:14:29,652 --> 00:14:30,918
Maybe I can... I can help.
359
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,988
You couldn't answer
a single one of those.
360
00:14:36,317 --> 00:14:39,093
You wanna make a bet?
361
00:14:39,737 --> 00:14:41,295
A bet?
362
00:14:41,331 --> 00:14:42,563
You hear that, Sanjay?
363
00:14:42,598 --> 00:14:44,432
A bet. (LAUGHS)
364
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,100
Interesting.
365
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,535
You thinking a hundo?
Mm...
366
00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:50,271
I was thinking something
a little higher-stakes.
367
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,006
Ohh! A thouso?
368
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,843
Bigger.
369
00:14:55,878 --> 00:14:59,380
If I answer one of these
"Impossible" prayers,
370
00:14:59,415 --> 00:15:01,048
you spare Earth.
371
00:15:01,084 --> 00:15:04,685
A-All right. All right.
372
00:15:04,721 --> 00:15:07,188
But. If you fail...
373
00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:08,322
The Earth explodes.
374
00:15:08,358 --> 00:15:10,558
Yeah, but, also...
375
00:15:10,593 --> 00:15:14,428
you have to eat a worm.
376
00:15:14,464 --> 00:15:16,263
Alive. The whole thing.
377
00:15:16,299 --> 00:15:18,666
The head and the butt.
In front of everyone.
378
00:15:18,701 --> 00:15:19,867
And you have to act like you like it.
379
00:15:19,902 --> 00:15:21,902
You have to go, "Mmm. Oh-ho!
380
00:15:21,938 --> 00:15:24,171
Mmm. Yum. I like worms."
381
00:15:24,207 --> 00:15:25,906
(LAUGHS) Hey!
382
00:15:25,942 --> 00:15:27,475
Did you hear that, Sanjay?
Isn't that great?
383
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,120
Very funny.
384
00:15:30,113 --> 00:15:31,779
All right. Good luck.
385
00:15:31,814 --> 00:15:34,982
♪
386
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,517
How long do I have?
387
00:15:37,059 --> 00:15:38,819
Two weeks.
How about a month?
388
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,022
Two weeks!
389
00:15:41,057 --> 00:15:42,757
Oh.
390
00:15:43,885 --> 00:15:46,293
WOMAN: Prayer 98% complete.
391
00:15:46,329 --> 00:15:48,763
Great news! I figured it out.
392
00:15:48,798 --> 00:15:50,865
Please not now.
Listen, I made a bet with God,
393
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,700
and all we have to do to save the world
394
00:15:52,735 --> 00:15:53,901
is answer one of these...
395
00:15:53,936 --> 00:15:55,369
Please just leave me alone.
396
00:15:55,405 --> 00:15:56,670
Craig, this is a big deal!
397
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,005
Come on!
Oh!
398
00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,541
Oh!
Minor earthquake.
399
00:16:00,576 --> 00:16:01,809
That was hours of work.
400
00:16:01,844 --> 00:16:03,878
So what? It's just a missing glove.
401
00:16:03,913 --> 00:16:05,546
Who cares about gloves?
I do!
402
00:16:05,581 --> 00:16:06,881
I care about gloves!
403
00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:09,450
I care about gloves!
404
00:16:09,485 --> 00:16:10,718
No, look, I know.
405
00:16:10,753 --> 00:16:13,020
You think what I do is small
406
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,589
and stupid and insignificant.
407
00:16:15,625 --> 00:16:17,291
But it is my life.
408
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,027
I-I don't have anything else.
409
00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:21,429
All right, the rest of you are fine.
410
00:16:21,464 --> 00:16:24,198
You just go around.
"Oh, let's go grab a burger.
411
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,300
Let's all socialize,
get burgers together.
412
00:16:26,335 --> 00:16:28,769
Let's go to a party and have...
413
00:16:28,805 --> 00:16:30,237
burgers," or however it goes...
414
00:16:30,273 --> 00:16:33,441
I don't know how it goes.
Maybe I will never know.
415
00:16:33,851 --> 00:16:36,177
But I knew about my job.
416
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,846
I was good at that, at least.
417
00:16:38,881 --> 00:16:40,815
And you've taken that away from me.
418
00:16:40,850 --> 00:16:43,067
♪
419
00:16:43,119 --> 00:16:44,819
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
420
00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:51,378
♪
421
00:16:51,379 --> 00:16:54,499
_
422
00:16:54,524 --> 00:17:01,896
♪
423
00:17:01,931 --> 00:17:07,769
♪
424
00:17:09,209 --> 00:17:10,708
(COMPUTER POWERS ON)
425
00:17:10,744 --> 00:17:13,077
Please. I really need my glove.
426
00:17:13,113 --> 00:17:18,249
♪
427
00:17:18,285 --> 00:17:22,120
♪
428
00:17:22,155 --> 00:17:23,221
(BAG THUDS)
429
00:17:23,256 --> 00:17:25,805
Oh, good. You're here.
430
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:26,991
Why? What have you done now?
431
00:17:27,027 --> 00:17:28,560
Oh, I just, uh...
432
00:17:28,596 --> 00:17:31,429
I wanted to make sure
you got the last leaf.
433
00:17:37,337 --> 00:17:39,237
Ah! My glove!
434
00:17:39,272 --> 00:17:41,639
WOMAN: Prayer complete.
435
00:17:42,742 --> 00:17:45,076
Well, no, you should stamp it.
436
00:17:45,111 --> 00:17:47,212
You sure?
Absolutely.
437
00:17:47,247 --> 00:17:48,847
It was a team effort.
438
00:17:53,019 --> 00:17:54,252
(GUNSHOT)
439
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,922
Time to kill. (LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
440
00:17:57,958 --> 00:17:59,390
F7?
Yeah, F7.
441
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:00,725
Whoo! Woman: Mute.
442
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,328
(SIGHS)
443
00:18:07,934 --> 00:18:09,868
That's a lot to go through.
444
00:18:10,281 --> 00:18:11,936
We should probably get started.
445
00:18:11,972 --> 00:18:15,707
♪
446
00:18:15,742 --> 00:18:17,942
Maybe we can do it over burgers?
447
00:18:17,978 --> 00:18:19,644
Burgers?
448
00:18:20,208 --> 00:18:21,913
"Please save the rainforest."
449
00:18:21,948 --> 00:18:24,849
Impossible. "Please stop all wars." No.
450
00:18:24,885 --> 00:18:27,352
"Please make everyone
just chill out on Twitter."
451
00:18:27,387 --> 00:18:29,220
"Wi-Fi."
"Wi-Fi."
452
00:18:29,256 --> 00:18:30,889
"Airport Wi-Fi."
"Wi-Fi."
453
00:18:30,924 --> 00:18:32,690
"Wi-Fi."
454
00:18:33,526 --> 00:18:36,794
(LAUGHS) Craig, come on!
455
00:18:39,266 --> 00:18:40,999
Craig, leave 'em!
456
00:18:41,034 --> 00:18:44,202
Uh, it was really nice meeting you.
457
00:18:44,237 --> 00:18:45,858
You too.
458
00:18:47,841 --> 00:18:49,874
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
459
00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:51,276
♪
460
00:18:51,311 --> 00:18:52,677
(SIGHS)
461
00:18:52,712 --> 00:18:56,180
Please, if anybody is listening...
462
00:18:56,216 --> 00:18:57,849
I really like this girl.
463
00:18:57,884 --> 00:18:59,751
Just please make this happen.
464
00:18:59,786 --> 00:19:01,920
No. No, no, no, no, no.
465
00:19:01,955 --> 00:19:03,922
Okay, love prayers never work, all right?
466
00:19:03,957 --> 00:19:05,657
There's... There's too many variables.
467
00:19:05,692 --> 00:19:07,892
So, that girl he likes
could be uninterested in him,
468
00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:09,861
or she could be in love
with somebody else.
469
00:19:09,896 --> 00:19:12,330
But check it out.
470
00:19:12,365 --> 00:19:14,365
Related prayer.
471
00:19:17,370 --> 00:19:18,536
(VIDEO REWINDING)
472
00:19:18,571 --> 00:19:20,505
(KEYBOARD CLACKS, BEEP)
473
00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:23,841
♪
474
00:19:23,877 --> 00:19:26,577
Please, if you're listening...
475
00:19:26,613 --> 00:19:29,569
I really like this guy.
476
00:19:30,450 --> 00:19:31,616
Please make this happen.
477
00:19:31,651 --> 00:19:32,951
(KEYBOARD CLACKS)
478
00:19:32,986 --> 00:19:34,652
♪
479
00:19:35,322 --> 00:19:37,455
This could work.
480
00:19:46,908 --> 00:19:49,442
I don't know.
These prayers seem kinda vague.
481
00:19:49,478 --> 00:19:51,511
I mean, "make it happen"?
482
00:19:51,547 --> 00:19:52,659
Like, what does that even mean?
483
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:54,525
Uh, it just means they want
to become a couple.
484
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:57,428
Yeah, but at what point
do two people "become a couple"?
485
00:19:57,464 --> 00:19:59,430
How about we'll say the prayer
has been answered
486
00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:01,098
if they go out on a date?
487
00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:02,567
Yeah, I don't know.
488
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:05,484
I think they really have to,
like, you know, "do it."
489
00:20:05,519 --> 00:20:07,019
Right?
Two dates.
490
00:20:07,019 --> 00:20:08,118
And they hold hands.
491
00:20:08,154 --> 00:20:09,386
I think it needs to be full sex.
492
00:20:09,422 --> 00:20:11,789
How about a kiss?
Ooh, a kiss!
493
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:15,059
Romantic. Ha. Little Casanova over here.
494
00:20:15,094 --> 00:20:16,894
(LAUGHS) I like it.
495
00:20:16,929 --> 00:20:18,595
Rosie? Bring it in.
496
00:20:18,631 --> 00:20:27,371
♪
497
00:20:27,406 --> 00:20:29,594
WOMAN: Earth destruction in two weeks.
498
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:30,934
All right, wait a minute.
499
00:20:30,969 --> 00:20:33,711
Eliza, are you sure you want this prayer?
500
00:20:33,746 --> 00:20:37,147
'Cause once Rosie closes up
that world-explody thing,
501
00:20:37,183 --> 00:20:39,550
there's no turning back.
(BOMB TICKING)
502
00:20:39,585 --> 00:20:43,610
I don't want you crying when
everybody starts calling you
503
00:20:43,635 --> 00:20:45,802
"Worm Breath."
504
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:47,979
What?
I'm sure.
505
00:20:48,127 --> 00:20:49,960
All right. It's a bet.
506
00:20:49,995 --> 00:20:51,228
(POPS LIPS)
507
00:20:51,263 --> 00:20:52,763
Bet is made.
508
00:20:52,798 --> 00:20:55,071
(LAUGHS)
509
00:20:56,302 --> 00:21:00,112
You just picked
the hardest prayer in the box!
510
00:21:00,137 --> 00:21:01,303
Uh... n...
511
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:03,328
It doesn't seem that hard.
512
00:21:03,353 --> 00:21:06,054
I mean, these two people,
they really like each other.
513
00:21:06,245 --> 00:21:08,011
They... They get along, they're...
514
00:21:08,047 --> 00:21:10,447
they have fun together, they're
in close physical proximity.
515
00:21:10,483 --> 00:21:12,182
I mean, it should be simple.
516
00:21:12,218 --> 00:21:13,450
Right, Craig?
517
00:21:13,486 --> 00:21:14,852
Right. Yes. (CLEARS THROAT)
518
00:21:14,887 --> 00:21:16,420
Uh, should be simple.
519
00:21:16,455 --> 00:21:18,478
Hey, you shaved.
Did I?
520
00:21:18,514 --> 00:21:19,970
Yes, I did.
521
00:21:20,526 --> 00:21:22,726
You ready?
Let's do it.
522
00:21:25,431 --> 00:21:27,331
No, sir, love ain't easy.
523
00:21:27,366 --> 00:21:29,266
(DOOR CLOSES)
524
00:21:29,301 --> 00:21:31,268
She is gonna eat that worm.
525
00:21:31,303 --> 00:21:34,104
(WOMAN VOCALIZING)
526
00:21:34,140 --> 00:21:37,374
MAN: Police say the "shotgun
killer" is still at large.
527
00:21:37,410 --> 00:21:39,309
Not a single fingerprint was found,
528
00:21:39,345 --> 00:21:40,811
leading investigators to conclude
529
00:21:40,846 --> 00:21:42,679
that the killer must have been wearing
530
00:21:42,715 --> 00:21:45,182
what could have only been two gloves.
531
00:21:45,217 --> 00:21:46,450
BOTH: F7.
532
00:21:46,485 --> 00:21:47,723
WOMAN: Mute.
532
00:21:48,305 --> 00:21:54,606
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
38732
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
