Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,224 --> 00:00:04,146
? The night is right ?
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:07,255
? For making love ?
3
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,559
? To you. ?
4
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:14,262
Old Spice, my secret weapon.
5
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:18,138
Oh-ho-ho.
6
00:00:18,163 --> 00:00:20,163
She's a lucky lady.
7
00:00:20,737 --> 00:00:25,232
Andi, prepare yourself for
some good old-fashioned...
8
00:00:25,257 --> 00:00:26,423
Teddy.
9
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,204
Surprise, he's in our bed again.
10
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,407
I see that and I love it.
11
00:00:33,459 --> 00:00:35,826
But, uh...
12
00:00:35,878 --> 00:00:38,245
buddy, you've been sleeping
in here for two weeks.
13
00:00:38,297 --> 00:00:40,297
Made your own little
dent in the mattress.
14
00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:43,750
Well, he can't sleep on his own
15
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:46,837
because somebody let him
watch Nightmare on Elm Street.
16
00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:49,729
Okay, look, I know we talked about this,
17
00:00:49,753 --> 00:00:51,141
but I am still not convinced
18
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:52,809
that's why he can't sleep by himself.
19
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,594
Hmm.
20
00:00:54,646 --> 00:00:56,396
What else could have
happened two weeks ago
21
00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,098
to scare the bejesus out of Teddy?
22
00:00:59,485 --> 00:01:02,822
I switched to two percent
milk, that's pretty spooky.
23
00:01:03,989 --> 00:01:05,405
No, it was the movie.
24
00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:07,908
- Okay.
- Honey, don't worry about it.
25
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,753
Go get your pillow.
26
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:14,281
I estimate we have 30 seconds, okay?
27
00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:16,166
Unless he brushes his teeth.
28
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,201
Ted-Teddy!
29
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,084
Brush your teeth!
30
00:01:19,136 --> 00:01:20,970
Okay, we have 35 seconds.
31
00:01:21,005 --> 00:01:22,338
It's not a race.
32
00:01:22,390 --> 00:01:24,512
Well, it can be. It's been two weeks!
33
00:01:24,537 --> 00:01:25,920
Okay, listen.
34
00:01:26,093 --> 00:01:28,005
No, no, no, listen, listen.
35
00:01:28,030 --> 00:01:29,942
I said he was too young for that movie
36
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,457
but you went rogue.
37
00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:32,564
Yeah.
38
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,683
You made your bed and now
39
00:01:34,735 --> 00:01:36,652
we all get to lie in it.
40
00:01:37,421 --> 00:01:39,171
With Teddy.
41
00:01:39,523 --> 00:01:42,274
Wait, wait, wait, we
still have ten seconds.
42
00:01:42,326 --> 00:01:43,826
We can make this happen.
43
00:01:43,861 --> 00:01:45,982
If you follow my
instructions very carefully...
44
00:01:49,332 --> 00:01:52,049
What a waste of Old Spice.
45
00:01:59,818 --> 00:02:03,345
What is wrong with this... bag?
46
00:02:03,381 --> 00:02:05,498
Why won't it open?
47
00:02:06,350 --> 00:02:08,434
Why don't bags open anymore?
48
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,699
This bag is broken.
49
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:13,806
Adam.
50
00:02:16,777 --> 00:02:18,811
You seem troubled.
51
00:02:19,535 --> 00:02:22,781
I'm fine, it's... it's private.
52
00:02:22,817 --> 00:02:24,984
Yeah, stay out of the man's business.
53
00:02:25,036 --> 00:02:28,070
He hasn't made love
to his wife in 15 days.
54
00:02:28,290 --> 00:02:30,906
That's not true. How do you know that?
55
00:02:30,908 --> 00:02:32,574
Marcy told me.
56
00:02:32,576 --> 00:02:35,577
After we made love.
57
00:02:37,298 --> 00:02:40,249
We have a heck of a streak going.
58
00:02:40,399 --> 00:02:43,733
And I'll tell you, the
sky looks a little bluer.
59
00:02:44,755 --> 00:02:46,722
Well, since it's public information...
60
00:02:46,757 --> 00:02:49,378
I let Teddy watch a scary movie
61
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,760
and he's been in our bed ever since.
62
00:02:51,812 --> 00:02:54,730
Now I'm starring in my own
horror movie and it's rated G.
63
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,267
I haven't had intimate relations
64
00:02:58,269 --> 00:02:59,858
since Jen and I split up.
65
00:02:59,883 --> 00:03:01,772
But I'm not complaining,
I have new interests.
66
00:03:01,797 --> 00:03:04,158
I'm learning Mandarin.
67
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:06,350
That means, "I'm lonely."
68
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,899
Let's just keep our bedroom
problems to ourselves, okay?
69
00:03:12,924 --> 00:03:16,201
I don't need anyone else
knowing my private business.
70
00:03:16,253 --> 00:03:18,837
Your mother tells me
you're in a slump, son.
71
00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:23,007
Mom knows?
72
00:03:23,032 --> 00:03:25,260
Well, my guess is you're
overthinking things.
73
00:03:25,296 --> 00:03:26,512
Just relax, boy.
74
00:03:26,547 --> 00:03:28,593
See the ball, hit the ball.
75
00:03:30,217 --> 00:03:32,301
It's not a slump. It's a drought.
76
00:03:32,303 --> 00:03:34,636
My swing is just fine.
77
00:03:34,688 --> 00:03:37,629
You say "tomato," I say
you're not getting any.
78
00:03:41,479 --> 00:03:44,166
Look, the problem's not me and Andi.
79
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:47,282
It's all the little
people that live with us.
80
00:03:47,814 --> 00:03:49,535
One of life's cruel jokes:
81
00:03:49,570 --> 00:03:51,370
the more kids you have,
the less time there is
82
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:53,372
to do the thing that makes kids.
83
00:03:54,575 --> 00:03:56,780
Well, you know what you should do?
84
00:03:56,805 --> 00:03:58,160
Take Andi to a hotel.
85
00:03:58,212 --> 00:04:00,045
No kids, a little romance.
86
00:04:00,081 --> 00:04:01,747
That's actually a great idea.
87
00:04:01,799 --> 00:04:03,215
Andi loves hotels.
88
00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:05,228
It reminds her of our
honeymoon, when she was already
89
00:04:05,252 --> 00:04:07,136
in a good mood, 'cause she got me.
90
00:04:07,171 --> 00:04:09,632
- Hey, Dad, can you watch the kids?
- Sure.
91
00:04:09,657 --> 00:04:12,091
I love having my little
beer grabbers around.
92
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:17,890
How come you never ask me
or Marcy to watch the kids?
93
00:04:18,234 --> 00:04:19,515
Where are your keys right now?
94
00:04:21,402 --> 00:04:22,935
That's why.
95
00:04:23,919 --> 00:04:25,437
Come on, I'm serious.
96
00:04:25,489 --> 00:04:26,738
You never even consider us.
97
00:04:26,774 --> 00:04:28,112
I love those kids.
98
00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:30,587
Well, that's nice to hear, Don.
99
00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:33,326
And since Dad just called
them "little beer grabbers,"
100
00:04:33,351 --> 00:04:34,746
I guess you win.
101
00:04:35,985 --> 00:04:37,235
That's all right.
102
00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:40,108
I still have your mother,
the original beer grabber.
103
00:04:42,726 --> 00:04:47,126
How would you like to be whisked... away
104
00:04:47,178 --> 00:04:49,878
by your loving husband to a hotel room
105
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,062
complete with... a loving husband?
106
00:04:53,934 --> 00:04:56,468
- You're so sweet.
- Hmm? Yeah.
107
00:04:56,493 --> 00:04:59,551
- But we can't.
- What? Why?
108
00:04:59,576 --> 00:05:01,085
Well, hotels cost money.
109
00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:03,811
Until we sell that flip house,
we are carrying two mortgages.
110
00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:05,310
I already thought of that.
111
00:05:05,362 --> 00:05:08,063
I have a gift card.
112
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:10,899
Don't worry, baby.
113
00:05:10,901 --> 00:05:12,951
- I won't spend a dime on you.
- Aw.
114
00:05:14,989 --> 00:05:17,706
Wait, this is the hotel
that gave us a free night
115
00:05:17,741 --> 00:05:18,991
'cause they had bedbugs.
116
00:05:19,043 --> 00:05:20,292
Mm.
117
00:05:20,327 --> 00:05:21,793
You saw one,
118
00:05:21,829 --> 00:05:23,242
and freaked out and
the next thing I knew,
119
00:05:23,266 --> 00:05:24,808
you were in the glass elevator naked,
120
00:05:24,832 --> 00:05:26,244
riding down to the lobby.
121
00:05:27,811 --> 00:05:30,028
I had my underwear.
122
00:05:30,829 --> 00:05:32,744
In your hand.
123
00:05:33,474 --> 00:05:35,424
And I apologized to that wedding.
124
00:05:36,546 --> 00:05:38,341
But the hotel just reopened,
125
00:05:38,366 --> 00:05:39,608
so it'll never be cleaner.
126
00:05:39,633 --> 00:05:41,016
Just like when a restaurant reopens
127
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,526
after a rat problem... ooh.
128
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:45,352
By the way, I have a
gift card for dinner, too.
129
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:58,833
So, your dad and I have
to go away for a night.
130
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,057
Oh, what for?
131
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,559
We got to take care
of a little business.
132
00:06:03,646 --> 00:06:04,862
What kind of business?
133
00:06:04,897 --> 00:06:06,897
None of your business business.
134
00:06:07,426 --> 00:06:09,567
So, you, Teddy and Emme
are gonna be staying
135
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:10,868
with Uncle Don and Aunt Marcy.
136
00:06:11,251 --> 00:06:12,953
Or...
137
00:06:12,989 --> 00:06:14,288
I think I'm old enough now
138
00:06:14,323 --> 00:06:16,624
to stay home by myself for one night.
139
00:06:16,659 --> 00:06:17,908
What do you say?
140
00:06:18,226 --> 00:06:19,642
- Okay.
- No.
141
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,496
Pantry.
142
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,500
Okay.
143
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,469
We are not leaving
Katie here by herself;
144
00:06:28,504 --> 00:06:29,699
she can't be trusted.
145
00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,472
She's got our DNA.
146
00:06:31,507 --> 00:06:34,892
Our beer-chugging,
mechanical bull-riding DNA.
147
00:06:35,410 --> 00:06:37,989
She gets good grades, she's responsible,
148
00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:39,597
she's a good girl.
149
00:06:39,682 --> 00:06:42,099
We had a golden retriever
growing up that was a good girl.
150
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:44,249
You know what she did every
time we left her alone?
151
00:06:44,274 --> 00:06:45,747
Jumped the fence and got pregnant.
152
00:06:46,249 --> 00:06:49,023
She's having a tough
time at school, all right?
153
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,491
Her best friend moved away.
154
00:06:50,526 --> 00:06:52,776
She hasn't found a
new social circle yet.
155
00:06:52,778 --> 00:06:55,412
Look, she wants this; let's
just do something nice for her.
156
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:58,833
We give her food and
clothes every single day.
157
00:06:59,866 --> 00:07:03,249
All right, let me ask you
this: what do you want more?
158
00:07:03,274 --> 00:07:06,624
To win this Kate thing, or hotel sex?
159
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:10,143
I vote for hotel sex. I'm
a single-issue voter, okay?
160
00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:12,713
Katie, great news.
161
00:07:13,903 --> 00:07:15,744
Okay, so Teddy and Emme
are at Uncle Don's...
162
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,196
Okay, everyone knows where everyone is.
163
00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:18,969
Blow some kisses. No time to waste.
164
00:07:20,255 --> 00:07:21,356
Uh, hey.
165
00:07:21,381 --> 00:07:24,253
Would it be okay if I invited
Shelby and Winslow over?
166
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:27,194
The two old guys from The Muppets?
167
00:07:28,083 --> 00:07:30,675
No. They're girls from my Spanish class.
168
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,427
But I'm thinking I might
get to know them better
169
00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:33,451
if we hang out.
170
00:07:35,369 --> 00:07:37,621
You-you can hang out tomorrow, okay?
171
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,123
Nobody but you here tonight.
172
00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:40,759
You invite someone over,
they invite more people.
173
00:07:40,783 --> 00:07:44,128
Next thing you know, I got
Burning Man in my living room.
174
00:07:44,318 --> 00:07:46,402
You in the house, just you.
175
00:07:46,427 --> 00:07:48,132
Sitting around, doing nothing.
176
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,967
Have fun. I love you.
177
00:07:52,396 --> 00:07:53,754
Honey,
178
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,222
just between you and me,
179
00:07:55,258 --> 00:07:57,083
go ahead and have those girls over.
180
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:59,343
- But Dad just said...
- Don't worry about Dad.
181
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,011
He's got other things on his mind.
182
00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:04,648
Come on.
183
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:07,151
- Would you please come on? I've got ideas.
- Okay.
184
00:08:19,214 --> 00:08:20,698
Howdy, cowboy.
185
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,918
Ooh, Old West prostitute. I like it.
186
00:08:24,399 --> 00:08:26,370
No, no, I'm a pioneer woman.
187
00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:29,757
Yeah, farming the land
to feed our 12 children.
188
00:08:30,203 --> 00:08:31,875
Let's just be ourselves.
189
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,844
It's been 15 days. It'll seem new.
190
00:08:33,879 --> 00:08:36,547
Later, we should raid
those minibar snacks.
191
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:37,859
They're complimentary.
192
00:08:37,883 --> 00:08:39,516
Well, if we do this thing right,
193
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,769
you won't be awake for minibar snacks.
194
00:08:41,804 --> 00:08:43,387
Mm-hmm.
195
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:52,697
What is it?
196
00:08:53,649 --> 00:08:55,569
- I started thinking about those bedbugs.
- Oh...
197
00:08:56,319 --> 00:08:58,152
I think this might be the same room
198
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,536
that we had last time.
199
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:02,282
It's got the same floor
plan: bed, window, TV.
200
00:09:03,103 --> 00:09:05,576
It's a hotel room. They
all have that floor plan.
201
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:08,128
Right. Right.
202
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:15,302
It-It's like I can feel bugs on me.
203
00:09:16,004 --> 00:09:18,088
Those things drink blood.
204
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:20,557
And what if one of 'em bites me there?
205
00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:22,309
That's where all the blood will be.
206
00:09:23,661 --> 00:09:25,929
Everything's gonna be fine. All right?
207
00:09:25,931 --> 00:09:29,733
Now, mosey on over here, partner.
208
00:09:31,110 --> 00:09:32,860
Come on.
209
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:38,692
I-I can't do it, I'm sorry.
210
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:42,746
Hey, Teddy is at Don and Marcy's.
211
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,665
That means our bed is empty.
212
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:45,916
Le-Let's just go home.
213
00:09:45,951 --> 00:09:47,084
You want to go home?
214
00:09:47,119 --> 00:09:49,086
I'll make it just like a hotel, okay.
215
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:50,315
I'll put chocolates on the pillow,
216
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:53,957
and in the morning, we
can steal our own shampoo.
217
00:09:54,398 --> 00:09:55,626
Okay, yeah, that...
218
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:58,379
Let me just text Kate
and warn her... tell her
219
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,797
that we're coming home.
220
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:01,465
Good, good, great. I am out of here.
221
00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:02,683
- Adam.
- Hmm?
222
00:10:02,718 --> 00:10:04,635
Glass elevator.
223
00:10:04,968 --> 00:10:06,718
Right. Pants.
224
00:10:12,842 --> 00:10:15,289
_
225
00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:16,780
My dad's coming. Everybody out!
226
00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:17,898
Go, go! Get out!
227
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,983
Out, out, out, out. Go, go, go, go!
228
00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:36,750
Oh, my...!
229
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:54,818
Hi.
230
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:56,737
Hey, Mom.
231
00:10:57,472 --> 00:10:58,962
There's my girl.
232
00:10:58,987 --> 00:11:01,692
All alone, like I knew you would be.
233
00:11:02,198 --> 00:11:04,330
Okay. Hey, Katie, we're very tired,
234
00:11:04,355 --> 00:11:05,841
so we're just gonna
go straight up to bed.
235
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,114
Okay.
236
00:11:09,589 --> 00:11:11,201
I never got my minibar snacks.
237
00:11:15,658 --> 00:11:17,408
This room's taken, bro.
238
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:30,249
Katie, there were teenagers
canoodling in our pantry.
239
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,941
How did this happen?
240
00:11:32,976 --> 00:11:35,727
It doesn't matter how it happened.
241
00:11:37,574 --> 00:11:39,309
We don't even need to
know what anybody said
242
00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:41,133
that might've led up to it.
243
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,826
I want to know.
244
00:11:43,862 --> 00:11:45,528
She had a party.
245
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,497
The one thing I told her not to do.
246
00:11:47,799 --> 00:11:49,182
It wasn't a party.
247
00:11:49,207 --> 00:11:51,273
Oh, it wasn't a party?
248
00:11:51,298 --> 00:11:52,874
Well, then you won't mind
249
00:11:52,899 --> 00:11:55,399
if I check the trash
outside for evidence, huh?
250
00:11:56,207 --> 00:11:58,929
Huh? This house looks
a little too clean.
251
00:11:58,954 --> 00:12:00,571
I've been living with your
mother for a long time...
252
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,011
Hey.
253
00:12:09,804 --> 00:12:11,637
Wait!
254
00:12:13,112 --> 00:12:16,192
Before you do that, I should tell you.
255
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,611
A neighbor came by...
256
00:12:18,646 --> 00:12:20,487
and he asked if he could
257
00:12:20,512 --> 00:12:23,680
dump his beer cans into our trash.
258
00:12:25,794 --> 00:12:28,321
And... then he said he was moving away
259
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,271
so we'll never see him again.
260
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,378
Oh, Katie.
261
00:12:37,447 --> 00:12:39,664
Oh-ho-ho, Katie.
262
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,220
Okay, fine. There was a party.
263
00:12:44,255 --> 00:12:45,922
But I didn't drink anything.
264
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,174
And I only invited two girls over.
265
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:50,527
The others heard about it and showed up.
266
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:53,126
Which is exactly what
I told you would happen
267
00:12:53,151 --> 00:12:56,536
and why I said you
couldn't have anybody over.
268
00:12:59,197 --> 00:13:00,697
You're grounded.
269
00:13:00,849 --> 00:13:02,399
Grounded?
270
00:13:04,032 --> 00:13:05,481
Mom said I could!
271
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:11,030
What? I...
272
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:17,262
Oh, Andi.
273
00:13:24,474 --> 00:13:25,523
What's up?
274
00:13:25,903 --> 00:13:27,924
That is an excellent question, Teddy.
275
00:13:27,949 --> 00:13:29,669
What is up?
276
00:13:30,791 --> 00:13:31,824
Teddy's scared.
277
00:13:31,849 --> 00:13:33,348
He wants to sleep in here with us.
278
00:13:33,373 --> 00:13:35,104
But we have a streak.
279
00:13:35,725 --> 00:13:38,026
Well, I guess the streak is over, honey.
280
00:13:39,273 --> 00:13:41,190
Teddy, let's go for a ride.
281
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:47,817
Hey, munchkins.
282
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,902
What a nice surprise.
283
00:13:50,870 --> 00:13:53,039
I see you, Donny.
284
00:13:53,378 --> 00:13:54,624
You went behind my back
285
00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:56,576
and decided to parent on your own.
286
00:13:56,578 --> 00:13:58,327
You went rogue.
287
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,079
You went rogue, too,
288
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,171
when you let Teddy watch a scary movie.
289
00:14:02,196 --> 00:14:04,083
Wh...
290
00:14:04,617 --> 00:14:07,336
This is completely different.
291
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:11,184
I explicitly said Katie
couldn't have anybody over.
292
00:14:11,209 --> 00:14:14,815
And I explicitly said that
Teddy shouldn't watch that movie.
293
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,424
Yeah, but I wasn't listening.
294
00:14:19,363 --> 00:14:22,441
Plus, Teddy is the only one in
his class who hadn't seen it.
295
00:14:22,466 --> 00:14:23,300
I was right.
296
00:14:23,325 --> 00:14:25,708
- Well, I think I was right.
- But you were wrong.
297
00:14:26,513 --> 00:14:28,668
I never told Kate to have a party.
298
00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:30,443
I just wanted her to make some friends.
299
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:33,496
Oh, people were making
friends, all right.
300
00:14:33,531 --> 00:14:36,816
Some teenager was stealing
second base in our pantry!
301
00:14:37,346 --> 00:14:39,511
Where we keep our food.
302
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,837
Contaminated, Andi!
303
00:14:48,546 --> 00:14:49,879
What's that?
304
00:14:50,194 --> 00:14:51,944
I signed Emme up for boxing.
305
00:14:51,969 --> 00:14:54,561
You said no, but since
we're going rogue,
306
00:14:54,586 --> 00:14:55,968
I'm doing it anyway.
307
00:14:56,805 --> 00:14:59,460
- Oh. Fine with me.
- Mm.
308
00:14:59,485 --> 00:15:01,842
I'll sign Teddy up for
rhythmic gymnastics class.
309
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:03,249
You know that's the Olympic event
310
00:15:03,274 --> 00:15:05,394
where they dance around
twirling the ribbons.
311
00:15:06,048 --> 00:15:07,030
Great.
312
00:15:07,055 --> 00:15:09,949
Then I'll call the gym about Emme. Yeah.
313
00:15:09,984 --> 00:15:12,368
I can't wait to watch her
spit a tooth into a bucket.
314
00:15:13,223 --> 00:15:14,338
Terrific.
315
00:15:14,363 --> 00:15:15,612
Good. Yep.
316
00:15:15,637 --> 00:15:17,703
You have your athlete, I have mine.
317
00:15:17,728 --> 00:15:19,778
See you at the Olympics.
318
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:23,645
Hey, we just came to drop off the kids.
319
00:15:23,670 --> 00:15:25,203
Why do you have Teddy and Emme?
320
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,967
Uncle Don ding-dong-ditched
us on their porch.
321
00:15:28,002 --> 00:15:31,525
It was awesome. We got
Grandpa, like, four beers.
322
00:15:33,916 --> 00:15:35,391
Did we come at a bad time?
323
00:15:35,777 --> 00:15:37,694
I can always tell when a wife's mad.
324
00:15:38,095 --> 00:15:40,179
If you're fighting, we'll
wait in the driveway.
325
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,862
We-we can hear everything from there.
326
00:15:42,887 --> 00:15:45,401
We're not fighting, we're
having a disagreement.
327
00:15:45,436 --> 00:15:49,605
Oh, doesn't surprise me. We
know all about your drought.
328
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:52,558
Ma, that's not what this is about.
329
00:15:52,583 --> 00:15:56,682
Your daughter-in-law organized
a teenage orgy in our pantry.
330
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:58,914
Adam's just mad because I told Kate
331
00:15:58,950 --> 00:16:01,200
it was okay to have friends
over, and a party happened.
332
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:06,038
Oh, so what? You and Don always
had parties when we left town.
333
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,340
What? No, we didn't.
334
00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:09,779
The hell you didn't!
There were more beers
335
00:16:09,804 --> 00:16:12,429
in the fridge when we got
home than when we left.
336
00:16:12,936 --> 00:16:15,715
That's because this weird neighbor
337
00:16:15,717 --> 00:16:17,600
would sometimes bring beers over
338
00:16:17,635 --> 00:16:20,202
and we would put them
in the fridge for you.
339
00:16:20,561 --> 00:16:22,805
And then he moved away,
so you can't ask him.
340
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:27,193
Was it Sal? Or Daryl? That
seems like something he would do.
341
00:16:27,228 --> 00:16:29,362
He's making it up, Bev.
342
00:16:29,757 --> 00:16:31,622
The point is, Andi,
343
00:16:31,647 --> 00:16:33,566
we are supposed to parent together,
344
00:16:33,568 --> 00:16:36,318
- and she went rogue.
- He went rogue first.
345
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:39,205
Well, that's a different
story. Nobody likes that.
346
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,657
I had to lay down the law
with your mother in '79
347
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,032
- when she took you...
- Don't you finish that sentence, Joe.
348
00:16:44,056 --> 00:16:45,088
You took Adam
349
00:16:45,113 --> 00:16:47,508
to get a perm after I told you not to.
350
00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:49,491
You're darn right I did.
351
00:16:49,516 --> 00:16:53,039
Oh, you looked like
one of The Jackson 5.
352
00:16:53,171 --> 00:16:55,609
His hair was so big,
a bird got stuck in it.
353
00:16:55,634 --> 00:16:58,539
Hold on, hold on, I have
an important question.
354
00:16:59,906 --> 00:17:01,310
You had a perm?
355
00:17:01,641 --> 00:17:03,179
No.
356
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:07,066
Stop talking. This family
talks too much. Goodbye.
357
00:17:07,101 --> 00:17:09,985
He wanted to express
himself, and I supported him.
358
00:17:10,021 --> 00:17:11,437
No father should see his son
359
00:17:11,439 --> 00:17:14,940
under a beauty shop hair dryer
reading Good Housekeeping.
360
00:17:22,356 --> 00:17:24,500
Can't believe a word they say.
361
00:17:25,895 --> 00:17:27,586
Well, it makes me feel better
362
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:31,142
that we're not the first
parents arguing about this stuff.
363
00:17:31,167 --> 00:17:34,919
It probably goes all the
way back to the Old West.
364
00:17:37,158 --> 00:17:39,040
Ain't that right, Sheriff?
365
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,837
Well, I reckon so.
366
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,278
Madam Prostitute.
367
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:58,529
I'm a pioneer woman. Sheesh. Let it go.
368
00:17:58,554 --> 00:18:01,954
Fine, fine, fine.
369
00:18:02,418 --> 00:18:04,108
Maybe for our anniversary.
370
00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:08,961
I... I'm sorry for going
behind your back with Teddy.
371
00:18:09,225 --> 00:18:11,559
Me, too, with Kate.
372
00:18:11,584 --> 00:18:14,702
- Going rogue is a bad idea.
- You're right.
373
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,427
So we're not gonna do
that anymore, right?
374
00:18:16,452 --> 00:18:17,832
Right.
375
00:18:24,442 --> 00:18:26,335
Well, there's hundreds of scary movies,
376
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,661
and I'm too afraid to watch them alone.
377
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:32,420
We'll go case by case.
378
00:18:33,151 --> 00:18:34,592
Fair enough.
379
00:18:35,606 --> 00:18:38,574
Hey, you got any pictures
of you with that perm?
380
00:18:38,609 --> 00:18:40,359
No. No.
381
00:18:40,563 --> 00:18:43,233
No, I burned them all.
382
00:18:43,258 --> 00:18:46,790
That's too bad. You might
get lucky if you did.
383
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,118
I know exactly where one is.
384
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,865
Morning, fellas.
385
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,701
What a day, huh?
386
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:07,948
Have you ever seen a sky that blue?
387
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:13,776
Well, somebody sure has cheered up.
388
00:19:13,828 --> 00:19:15,675
Yeah, worked everything out.
389
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:17,006
Instead of grounding Katie,
390
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:20,867
her punishment is Teddy
has to sleep in her room.
391
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:26,539
So in the parents' room, well,
392
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,320
let's just say
393
00:19:28,345 --> 00:19:31,377
there's a new sheriff in town.
394
00:19:32,891 --> 00:19:35,097
Yeah, well, my streak is over.
395
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:38,267
Marcy said choosing sex
over family is a turnoff.
396
00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:42,141
And then she started listing
all the other things I do
397
00:19:42,166 --> 00:19:44,249
that are turnoffs.
398
00:19:44,525 --> 00:19:46,976
It was a real bad night.
399
00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:50,247
Well, you have my sympathies.
400
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:53,190
As a single man, I understand
how hard celibacy can be.
401
00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:54,558
Here.
402
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,976
Let me help you with that.
403
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:02,940
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
404
00:20:02,965 --> 00:20:04,485
Take it easy, buddy.
405
00:20:06,655 --> 00:20:08,953
Some guys just can't handle a drought.
406
00:20:08,977 --> 00:20:11,017
Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -
28762
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
