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1
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[man] The assholes wouldn't leave.
2
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I had to call the goddamn Sheriff to cart
them and their scrawny fucktard kids away.
3
00:00:43,296 --> 00:00:45,756
Ah, crap! Goddammit.
4
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Fuck!
5
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I don't know, a dead possum.
6
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[flies buzzing]
7
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What a shit hole.
8
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Listen, I gotta go.
Another day, another eviction.
9
00:01:06,421 --> 00:01:08,091
[narrator] This dump's my home.
10
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The only one I ever had.
11
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Some people may not think much of it.
12
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But me and my buddy Otto
like it here just fine.
13
00:01:22,171 --> 00:01:26,051
And the good book says,
"A man's home is his castle
14
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and whosoevereth trespasses shall be
struck down with fire and lightning."
15
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And since I ain't got no lightning,
I tend just to keep it real simple, like.
16
00:01:37,921 --> 00:01:38,921
[gun cocks]
17
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I'm about to blow your head off, fat boy.
18
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Mr. Dvorchack, I presume?
19
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City Inspector.
20
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[grunts]
21
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I've been habitating here
more than 20-odd years now.
22
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And some new high-falutin' sanitation law
don't mean shit to me, Mr. City Inspector.
23
00:02:06,713 --> 00:02:09,263
Oh, but I'm afraid it does mean something
24
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,838
to the owners of the condominiums
they're building next door.
25
00:02:11,921 --> 00:02:14,761
So, you see,
everything in this dump has got to go,
26
00:02:14,838 --> 00:02:16,668
including you, Mr. Dvorchack.
27
00:02:16,838 --> 00:02:19,078
- If you'll just sign these papers...
- [Dvorchack] Otto!
28
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Otto! C'mere, boy!
29
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Oh, dang critter.
30
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Always scrounging for food.
31
00:02:27,838 --> 00:02:32,258
Yeah, I tell you what... how about
we crack a couple of cold beers
32
00:02:32,338 --> 00:02:34,668
while I spin ya a little yarn?
33
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,375
And you still want Otto
and me gone when I'm done,
34
00:02:37,463 --> 00:02:41,593
well, I'll sign whatever you want
and we clear on out.
35
00:02:42,088 --> 00:02:46,128
- Dang lighter!
- I'm a busy man, Mr. Dvorchack.
36
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I don't have time for drunken ramblings
and crazy stories.
37
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If we could just move this...
38
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- One night, couple years back...
- Fuck me.
39
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- ...me and my friend Pearly, we...
- [lighter ignites]
40
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Eh?
41
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Me and my friend Pearly were
having a drink and conversatin', like.
42
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[laughs]
43
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,630
Oh, boy, I tell ya.
44
00:03:10,421 --> 00:03:13,711
Hell, you oughta get up off yer duff
and see the world.
45
00:03:14,505 --> 00:03:16,205
Oh, what for?
46
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Everything I need ends up here eventually.
47
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Oh, yeah? What about women?
48
00:03:21,838 --> 00:03:23,958
I don't see no women round here.
49
00:03:24,296 --> 00:03:25,626
Pearly, she's right there.
50
00:03:26,255 --> 00:03:28,705
Oh, sorry. No offense, Betty.
51
00:03:29,796 --> 00:03:31,506
But I am telling you, boy.
52
00:03:31,588 --> 00:03:36,208
Down in Laredo, they got these
river trash whores. Oh, boy!
53
00:03:36,296 --> 00:03:37,296
[laughing]
54
00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:40,130
They can suck the chrome
off a trailer hitch.
55
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- [metal clangs]
- Hey, you hear that?
56
00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:44,920
It's just rats. Tell me about the whores.
57
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Hold your horses a minute.
My back teeth are floating.
58
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[Pearly] Come on out, ya little monster.
59
00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,005
[chuckles]
60
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,260
Yeah, boy.
61
00:04:05,046 --> 00:04:06,046
[metal banging]
62
00:04:07,046 --> 00:04:08,046
[rattling]
63
00:04:09,796 --> 00:04:10,796
What?
64
00:04:11,588 --> 00:04:13,588
[loud clanging and rattling]
65
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,130
[grunts]
66
00:04:22,005 --> 00:04:23,335
What in the hell?
67
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[chuckles]
68
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[gun shot]
69
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Don't shoot the rats!
70
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- It's good company.
- [multiple gun shots]
71
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,626
What in tarnation?
72
00:04:43,963 --> 00:04:45,423
[panting heavily]
73
00:04:45,588 --> 00:04:47,758
We gotta get the hell outta Dodge!
74
00:04:47,838 --> 00:04:50,048
- There's something out there?
- What the hell is it?
75
00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:51,300
[metal crashing]
76
00:04:51,380 --> 00:04:52,380
It's coming.
77
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,256
What is it?
78
00:04:57,338 --> 00:05:00,338
Damned if I know! It's eyes everywhere!
79
00:05:00,588 --> 00:05:03,258
All manner of crap stickin' out of it.
80
00:05:03,796 --> 00:05:05,256
It's all shiny and wet.
81
00:05:06,338 --> 00:05:07,338
[Pearly yelps]
82
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:16,090
[gulps] My balls!
83
00:05:16,421 --> 00:05:17,421
[screams]
84
00:05:18,755 --> 00:05:20,665
Aargh! Help me!
85
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,585
[gargled scream]
86
00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:24,550
I don't wanna go!
87
00:05:24,630 --> 00:05:26,010
Let go, Pearly!
88
00:05:26,671 --> 00:05:28,131
I can't shoot!
89
00:05:28,630 --> 00:05:29,760
[creature moans]
90
00:05:35,255 --> 00:05:36,085
Pearly!
91
00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:37,671
[creature howls]
92
00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:39,545
[banging and rattling]
93
00:05:44,255 --> 00:05:46,665
[creature growls and snorts]
94
00:05:52,671 --> 00:05:54,671
[creature moans]
95
00:05:56,171 --> 00:05:58,381
Give my friend back, motherfucker!
96
00:06:01,296 --> 00:06:03,296
I'ma get you, you son of a bitch.
97
00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:09,210
[engine starts]
98
00:06:13,046 --> 00:06:14,256
[engine revs]
99
00:06:26,338 --> 00:06:27,338
[tires screech]
100
00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:45,420
Die!
101
00:06:47,838 --> 00:06:49,458
[cackles]
102
00:06:50,421 --> 00:06:51,421
[howls]
103
00:06:51,463 --> 00:06:52,713
What in the shit?
104
00:06:53,963 --> 00:06:55,963
[howling]
[reverse gear beeping]
105
00:07:11,296 --> 00:07:13,086
Now fuck me ragged.
106
00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,511
- [whimpers]
- A puppy.
107
00:07:16,755 --> 00:07:18,045
[groaning]
108
00:07:19,963 --> 00:07:23,053
[Dvorchack] And that's when abig old light bulb went off in my head.
109
00:07:23,546 --> 00:07:28,296
This here monster wasn't just created
by all the heat and garbage.
110
00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:29,760
It lived off it.
111
00:07:30,838 --> 00:07:34,878
And whatever it ate became a part of it.
112
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:40,546
[incoming message alert]
113
00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:42,460
[Inspector laughs]
114
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:45,166
They're gonna love this one
back at the office.
115
00:07:45,963 --> 00:07:47,053
Sorry.
116
00:07:47,505 --> 00:07:49,585
So, you were saying about Curly?
117
00:07:50,338 --> 00:07:52,628
His name was Pearly.
118
00:07:53,713 --> 00:07:54,763
Right.
119
00:07:54,838 --> 00:07:58,798
And it's an absolutely riveting tale,
Mr. Dvorchack,
120
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:03,130
but I can actually feel myself
getting septic shock sitting here.
121
00:08:03,213 --> 00:08:06,263
So, if you'll just make a big X
on those papers,
122
00:08:06,338 --> 00:08:08,588
I can finally get out of this shit hole.
123
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,630
Otto! There you are, boy!
124
00:08:12,630 --> 00:08:13,710
[creature growls]
125
00:08:14,088 --> 00:08:15,708
[metal clanging]
126
00:08:19,755 --> 00:08:21,505
What? [screams]
127
00:08:21,921 --> 00:08:22,921
No!
128
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:25,756
No!
129
00:08:26,796 --> 00:08:28,506
Mr. Dvorchack!
130
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,760
[screaming]
131
00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:40,590
Yep. The way I see it...
132
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:46,415
you hang around a dump long enough
and the world comes to you.
133
00:08:47,171 --> 00:08:48,211
Ain't that right, Otto?
134
00:08:48,296 --> 00:08:49,706
[screams]
[Dvorchack laughs]
135
00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,125
[whistles] Here, boy!
136
00:09:00,671 --> 00:09:01,801
Attaboy!
137
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,510
[Dvorchack] Yes, sir, the dump's my home.
9469
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