All language subtitles for Hall.Pass.2011.BrRip.720p.x264.YIFY
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,208
Do you recognize who this stud
is in the blue shorts right here?
3
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,931
That's me the summer
I got out of college.
4
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,050
Wow, Dad, you used to have muscles.
5
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,009
Well, I still got a few.
6
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:54,321
Where?
7
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,121
They're hibernating.
8
00:00:57,920 --> 00:00:59,160
Who's that girl?
9
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:00,647
That's Mommy.
10
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,565
No, the young one standing next to you.
11
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,370
That's Mommy.
12
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,251
How come Mommy doesn't
wear a bikini anymore?
13
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,562
Is it because of her fat ass?
14
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,961
Yeah. I guess.
15
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,283
What? No. Who said Mommy has a fat ass?
16
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:17,885
Mommy did.
17
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:19,485
Words hurt, Gunnar.
18
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:24,331
Hey, honey. We better get a move on. We
gotta meet up with Fred and Grace soon.
19
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,568
No, I know, I know. I'm trying.
20
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,529
How long do you think you're gonna be?
21
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,968
Uh, 45 minutes? Less, if
you help with the kids.
22
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,804
No, 45 minutes is good.
23
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,930
And this photograph is
of me in high school.
24
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,765
I'm kidding. A joke. Come on.
25
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:44,448
Okay, come on. Bath time. Time to
scrub some backs and clean some cracks.
26
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,042
I miss going out with
you on Saturday nights.
27
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,090
I wanna have a new policy of going
out six nights a week without the kids.
28
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,920
I think it would be good for
us to go out one night a week...
29
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,209
- ... where it's just you and me. It would be...
- You gotta be kidding.
30
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,488
- What?
- You just checked out that girl's butt.
31
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,967
- Who did?
- You did. And it's rude.
32
00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:08,327
- What? Do you think she noticed?
- I noticed.
33
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,126
Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm just spacy
tonight, honey, I'm sorry.
34
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,089
Hey, guys, come on. We're late.
35
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,163
- Hey.
- Hi.
36
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:16,691
- Hey, Rick.
- How you doing?
37
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,411
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
38
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,369
Grace, let me ask you a question.
39
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,921
Does Fred ever check out
other women in front of you?
40
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,567
No, no. Fred's not a gawker.
He's a good boy. Ha, ha.
41
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,246
- Hmm.
- Come on, let's go say hi to Dr. Lucy.
42
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,887
- Let's go get a beer.
- Yeah.
43
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,281
- Hey.
- Hi.
44
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,522
- Congratulations.
- Thank you, thank you.
45
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,250
Our first friend to win an award.
46
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,801
Oh, stop it. Listen, I
don't deserve this thing.
47
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,281
- Oh. Come on. Yes, you do. Yes, you do.
- Oh, come on.
48
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,250
- The whole thing is just embarrassing.
- Stop it.
49
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,686
What is this, amateur hour?
50
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,366
How does your wife catch you
checking out another girl?
51
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,211
She walked by and I glanced
back for like half a second.
52
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,243
- Two beers, please.
- You got it.
53
00:02:56,440 --> 00:03:00,206
Hey, Quagmire, you don't wait for the
girl to walk past and glance back at her.
54
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:04,729
You spot her from 15 feet away, turn, then
wait for her to walk into your line of vision.
55
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,564
- What do you mean?
- Don't you get it?
56
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,200
You can't help if her butt
walks where you're looking.
57
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,522
Where you're looking.
It was your air space.
58
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,170
- What could you do?
- Exactly.
59
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:14,526
- Is that an original?
- No.
60
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,920
- Who?
- Coakley.
61
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,491
- Coakley? He did.
- Hey, guys.
62
00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:18,801
Hey, Missy.
63
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,008
Drink up, guys. Let's
get this party started.
64
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,207
- Yes.
- Whoo!
65
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:23,930
- Whoo! Ha, ha.
- Whoo! OW.
66
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:27,129
Missy sure is looking chipper for
someone going through a divorce.
67
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,691
Yeah. God.
68
00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:30,649
You know what I love about divorcées?
69
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,926
They love sex.
70
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:33,650
- Is that true?
- I don't know.
71
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:37,327
- I like to think so, though. Ha, ha.
- You would like to think it was true.
72
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,481
God.
73
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,325
Look at those meatheads
checking out Missy.
74
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,801
- Do they think, they're invisible?
- I know.
75
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,122
Hey, I thought you said
Fred isn't a gawker.
76
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,965
He was standing right there.
I can't let him know I know.
77
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,367
- It'll take all the fun out of it.
- Ha, ha.
78
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,490
Oh, God, he has this stupid
move where he looks back...
79
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,483
...and he waits for the girl to pass...
80
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,610
...so that it seems like he couldn't
help but notice her ass. It's pathetic.
81
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,770
You wanna hear a great idea?
82
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,208
Why don't you go upstairs and slip
into something uncomfortable...
83
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,169
...while I give the
babysitter a ride home?
84
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,610
I want to, honey. I really do.
85
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,525
It's after midnight and I gotta
get up early with the kids.
86
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,365
No, I'll get up with the kids.
I'll take them to the park.
87
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:22,808
I'll take them to Finn's birthday
party. You just stay in bed...
88
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,850
...and play back some of the
more acrobatic highlights...
89
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,321
...from the show I'm
about to put on for you.
90
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,848
- Mm. Okay. I'm in. Ha, ha.
- Ah.
91
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,690
They're home!
92
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,841
Sorry.
93
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,771
He couldn't fall asleep.
94
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,689
So how were the little monsters tonight?
95
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,370
Perfect.
96
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,363
That Gunnar is so cute.
97
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,603
He's like a little monkey. He
just wants to climb all over me.
98
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,167
Hmm.
99
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,206
All right, here we are.
100
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,603
Good night. Thank you.
101
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,649
Mr. Mills, can I ask you something?
102
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:58,847
Yeah, shoot.
103
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,206
I was wondering, um...
104
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,331
Could you buy me some beer?
105
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:03,561
Buy you some...?
106
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:05,166
How old are you?
107
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,328
I'll be 21 next week.
108
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,081
- Wow. That's a biggie. Happy birthday.
- Yeah.
109
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:12,971
So could you?
110
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,686
Well, you know, the law's
pretty clear on this.
111
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,081
I think you can get
into a lot of trouble...
112
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,083
Come on, I'm a junior in college.
113
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:21,890
You drank when you were in college.
114
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,850
- I...
- Besides, it's so arbitrary.
115
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,526
How does it make sense that 20's
old enough to vote or watch porn...
116
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,371
- ... but it's too young to have a beer?
- Really?
117
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,761
Twenty's old enough to, um...?
118
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,605
- Vote?
- No. The other thing.
119
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,604
Watch porn? Yeah. Half the
girls in those things are my age.
120
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:42,560
I mean, unless it's that weird fetish
stuff where the women are, like, 40. Ha, ha.
121
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:43,767
Mm.
122
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,571
Look, I promise, no
one's gonna find out.
123
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,611
Join me down at the river. We'll listen
to some tunes and suck down a few beers.
124
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,446
Oh...
125
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,047
Freeze right there!
126
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,282
You're under arrest for
supplying alcohol to a minor.
127
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,930
Mills, you're fired!
128
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,930
I award your wife the house,
the cars and half your wages.
129
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:11,363
I don't want you walking me down
the aisle. You cheated on mom!
130
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,961
I don't want you at my
civil ceremony. You cheated!
131
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:15,247
Get out.
132
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:16,967
What?
133
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:22,251
What I mean is that I'm
sorry, I can't do that.
134
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:23,807
Why not?
135
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:29,328
Because it would be
inappropriate, Paige.
136
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,927
What, is that your adult voice?
"That would be inappropriate, Paige. "
137
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,963
- Come on, it's for the...
- No, Paige.
138
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:38,164
What are you thinking? I'm a
married man. I have children.
139
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,483
You think they'd like me at the
river alone drinking with a coed?
140
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:45,440
I never said alone. My boyfriend
and his roommates are down there.
141
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,246
Okay, you better head inside now.
142
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,129
Good night, Paige.
143
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,481
Ew.
144
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:59,002
- What the hell were you thinking?
- Okay, scoot along now, Paige.
145
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,048
Oh, thank God, you're still awake.
146
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,403
Quiet. Gunnar just fell asleep.
147
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,131
Okay. Let's tiptoe.
148
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,369
- Be very quiet, but still excited.
- Ha, ha.
149
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,685
- Okay.
- Ha, ha.
150
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,206
I'm scared.
151
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,330
- Can I sleep with you tonight?
- Aw.
152
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,323
- Daddy?
- No, absolutely not.
153
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,528
Daddy, words hurt, you know.
154
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,250
- Well...
- Come on, she's scared.
155
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,323
- We can let her...
- What? Are you serious?
156
00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,801
Look, this isn't just
about her cock blocking me.
157
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:36,282
I don't like that my daughter needs
someone to sleep with her every night.
158
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,727
That's not gonna be good
when she goes to college.
159
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:42,123
Well, can someone at
least read me a story?
160
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,285
Okay, one quick story.
161
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,050
Jump up.
162
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,608
And what is this new
expression, words hurt?
163
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,250
- Where did you get that?
- Mommy.
164
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,447
- Mommy?
- Mm-hm.
165
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,045
Okay, well, Mommy isn't always right.
166
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,641
You know what my dad had? A
belt. Yeah. Now, that hurt.
167
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,087
"Amazingly, our plan worked.
168
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:03,529
The gum kept the door from banging, and
we never heard 'Don't slam the door' again.
169
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:04,727
The end. "
170
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,729
- There. You look pretty, Daddy.
- Good.
171
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:11,084
Okay, that was the last ponytail.
It's time for you to go night-night.
172
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,369
Give me a big hug and a kiss.
173
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:16,569
Mwah. Mwah.
174
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,720
- I love you, Emma.
- I love you more.
175
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,121
No, I love you more.
176
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,251
Honey? Honey?
177
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,050
Honey?
178
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,201
No. No.
179
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,970
I won. Uh.
180
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,364
Come on. Let's go to the slides, Gunnar.
181
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,522
Can you believe all
the talent here today?
182
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:12,727
I know.
183
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,609
I mean, look at this buffet of ass.
184
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,649
Imagine coming here
back when we were single.
185
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,326
- Ooh. The damage we would do?
- Ha, ha, oh, boy.
186
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,608
Oh, man. Oh.
187
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,842
- Hey, did you get any action last night?
- Nah.
188
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,691
Came close, but kids were
awake when we got home.
189
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,524
- What about you, you get lucky?
- No.
190
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:29,920
Well, I mean, kind of.
191
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,481
You know, Grace conked out
right when we got home...
192
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,450
...so I snuck out to
the car, rubbed one out.
193
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,409
What are you, Knight Rider?
194
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:40,211
Why can’t you do it in the
bathroom like every other guy?
195
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,125
What, and get caught by Grace?
No way. I can't risk that. Uh-uh.
196
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:44,850
No, besides, cars turn me on.
197
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:46,970
It's where I lost my virginity.
198
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,771
So I go out there, put the
seat back, pump some tunes.
199
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,365
It's pretty nice.
200
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,526
That's one of those things
they don't tell you, huh?
201
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:56,727
What?
202
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,690
That you're still gonna be
jerking off after you get married.
203
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,810
I mean, I thought that was just
gonna be a teenage thing, right?
204
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,804
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming.
205
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,331
I gotta get going.
206
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:10,047
I gotta drop the kids
off at a birthday party.
207
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,680
Hmm. You wanna get a coffee afterwards?
208
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,962
Yeah. Guys, come on!
209
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,809
You all right? You okay?
210
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,325
Yeah.
211
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,642
I tweaked my neck on
the 17th hole yesterday.
212
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:26,610
I was 250 out. Had to get over
some water. I gave it my all.
213
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,728
- I didn't know you played yesterday.
- Yeah.
214
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,726
Hog-Head and I played
some "Golden Tee" - Aah.
215
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,804
Yeah, you gotta stretch. Because
even something like foosball...
216
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,681
...I've thrown my back out where
it's, like, the thing where you...
217
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,726
Oh, my God.
218
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,803
- Hey. What can I get you?
- Small coffee.
219
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,047
Sure.
220
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,329
Please don't have a nice ass.
Please don't have a nice ass.
221
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,723
Please don't have a
nice... Oh, come on, man.
222
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,649
- That is ridiculous.
- I know.
223
00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,081
I did some recon. She's from Australia.
224
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,528
- Of course she is. Shit. Don't bring me here.
- She's been here about a month. What?
225
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,883
- Shh. Here she comes, here she comes.
- All right. Thanks.
226
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:08,887
HEY
- hi.
227
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:12,442
Uh, iced coffee, one Splenda, right?
228
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,365
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
229
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:15,760
And for your mate?
230
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:17,720
Same.
231
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:20,087
- Two Splendas.
- Okay.
232
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,129
- So pretty.
- Chick. Chick. Chick. Zzz.
233
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,850
What are you doing? What are you doing?
234
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,401
Taking mental photographs
for my spank bank.
235
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:30,766
Fred, come on, dude. Just...
236
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,884
You need help.
237
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,602
No. She already got us. Thank you.
238
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,325
Wasn't a question.
239
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:44,970
Kid's right.
240
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,681
- Come on, guys, give it a rest.
- Hey, Ed. I didn't see you standing there.
241
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,922
Because you were
eye-banging the java babe.
242
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:52,127
- No.
- No.
243
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,123
You're married men. She's half your age.
244
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,442
Maybe a little growing
up? What do you think?
245
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,331
Hey, I guess I'm gonna see you at
the housewarming party next weekend.
246
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:00,527
Huh?
247
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,489
Yeah, next Saturday
afternoon at the new casa.
248
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,483
We're finally in. We're
having a little soiree.
249
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,687
Hmm.
250
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,320
- Next Saturday... I think that could be tough.
- Yeah, we're jammed.
251
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:09,891
Your wives already RSVP'd.
252
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,128
- Oh. Cool.
- Can't wait.
253
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,089
Till then. Come on, pound the potato.
254
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,641
- Pshh. Ha, ha.
- Uh-oh. Ha, ha.
255
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,325
Pound it.
256
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:19,966
Pshh.
257
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,770
- Take care, guys.
- Okay.
258
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,410
Bye, Ed.
259
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,767
I'll pound his potato,
you know what I mean?
260
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,366
- He's a good guy.
- He is a nice guy.
261
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,605
- You open, Rick.
- I know.
262
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,604
Okay, uh, I'll say three 9s.
263
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,762
Conservative, but that's
what I'm going for.
264
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,684
Where's Coakley? Why didn't he show up?
265
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:43,164
Coakley is in Arizona, attending
the Hawaiian Tropic regionals.
266
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,647
- But of course. But of course.
- Four 9s.
267
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,848
Imagine being Coakley, huh?
268
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,765
That guy's single, he's
loaded. Chicks love him.
269
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,763
He doesn't have to answer to anybody.
270
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,809
- Five 3s.
- Let me ask you something.
271
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,685
How much would you pay to have your
way with a Hawaiian Tropic girl...
272
00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,370
...for a weekend, hmm?
273
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,683
You can have anyone you want. You
know she's not gonna get pregnant.
274
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,882
- No disease.
- Not gonna cry rape.
275
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,725
Never hear from her again.
Your wife will never find out.
276
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,451
How would I know my
wife wouldn't find out?
277
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,721
It's a game.
278
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,486
- I'm just saying if it was possible.
- It's a scenario.
279
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,768
Like I'm a genie and
I can make it happen.
280
00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,890
- I can see that. A genie. Yeah. Ha, ha.
- Thank you. Thank you.
281
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,930
I can grant you this wish and
make like it never happened.
282
00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:24,730
Okay. You know what? I'll say it.
283
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,680
I would be willing to pay
250 of your American dollars.
284
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,207
You cheap bastard.
285
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,089
This is an investment, man.
286
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,811
Get your rocks off, right?
Protect your wife's feelings.
287
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,401
- I'm going deep with it. Five grand.
- Oh!
288
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,403
- Five grand?
- Five grand, baby.
289
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:43,086
And I know Hogwarts
right here would pay more.
290
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,005
- Hey, guys. Hi.
- That's why he wears a tie.
291
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,927
- Hey, Maggie.
- Hey, how's it going?
292
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,321
Hey, do you remember my
brother-in-law, Flats?
293
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,209
- Pleasure.
- Nice to see you again.
294
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,407
- Who's
winning? - Uh-oh.
295
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,568
This guy right here's got all the loot.
296
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:57,767
- What?
- Ha, ha.
297
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:01,447
Would you do me a favor and not tell
Grace that I have disposable income?
298
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,443
She'll make me take her shopping...
299
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,329
...or, like, see Kathy
Griffin in concert.
300
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,250
- Yeah.
- Okay.
301
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,640
How'd the kids go down?
302
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:13,088
Gunnar and Emma stalled for a
while, but they weren't too bad.
303
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,369
- What about the baby?
- The baby? Not a peep.
304
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,170
- I've been listening the whole time.
- Oh.
305
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,481
- Yeah.
- All right.
306
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,449
- Well, good night.
- Mwah.
307
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,602
- All right. Have fun.
- Okay.
308
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,286
- What is that? Four 7s. Is that good?
- She's kidding.
309
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,363
- Maybe. Maybe I'm not kidding.
- Ha, ha.
310
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,369
See you later.
311
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,211
Hey, genie, can you make my dick work?
312
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,124
Oh, you poor thing.
313
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:42,124
Oh, silly Daddy got
the monitors mixed up.
314
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,330
Oh, have you been listening
to those loudmouths ell night?
315
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,562
A question to you, Frederick, sir.
316
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,566
How much would you be willing to spend
for a weekend of erotic pleasures...
317
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,963
- ... with one of the most beautiful women?
- Six grand.
318
00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:00,323
I've gotta have a way to get the
money out of the checking account.
319
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,960
- I assume the genie could help with that?
- Oh. I got you.
320
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,009
- I'll just give you my routing number?
- Ha, ha.
321
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:08,164
Hey, hey, put me down for 7500.
322
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,722
Hog-Head, please, man.
You don't have $7500.
323
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,325
Hey, be nice.
324
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,687
Okay, Rickster. Ha, ha!
325
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,080
What is your number?
326
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:20,289
- Ahh, I don't know.
- Come on. You've gotta have a number.
327
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,323
- I don't know.
- Any girl you choose.
328
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,649
You could do anything you want.
The wife will never find out.
329
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,371
Completely harmless. One-time
thing. What would you pay?
330
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,330
- I honestly don't know.
- Ballpark, please.
331
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,050
Well, I have a great wife...
332
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,811
...so I wouldn't wanna do
anything to hurt her feelings.
333
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,687
So I guess the real question becomes...
334
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,171
...what wouldn't I pay?
335
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,001
That's why this dude's wearing the hat.
336
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,643
This house has gotta be
worth something, right?
337
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,324
Now, mother-in-laws. What do
they go for on the black market?
338
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,005
Fifty bucks, maybe?
339
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:57,722
Fred said 6 grand? Oh,
God, what a douche bag.
340
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:01,282
He won't even spend $60 on An Evening
With Kathy Griffin tickets for me...
341
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,529
...but he's gonna give some
make-believe genie 6 G's'?
342
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,364
- Wanna near something funnier?
- Yeah.
343
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,602
Hog-Head McCormick said 7500.
344
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,125
- Wow.
- What?
345
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:13,767
Look, I mean, on the bright side,
they're not cheating on us, right?
346
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,048
- Although that'd be kind of fun to watch.
- Ha, ha.
347
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,004
I'd love to see the look
on the girl's face...
348
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,646
...when she wakes up next to
Fred with his sleep apnea mask on.
349
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,883
Are you kidding? He wears
one of those things...
350
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,208
- ... with the mask and the tube?
- Yeah, it's awful.
351
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,600
That is attractive.
352
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,808
Every time I wake up, I
think a plane's going down.
353
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:35,082
You know, sometimes I wonder if it
wouldn't be better if they did cheat.
354
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:36,287
Just got it over with.
355
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,411
You mean rather than take
the slow boat to resentment?
356
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,926
I'm just saying, maybe a little freedom
would be good for them, and for you.
357
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,287
Have you ever considered
giving him a hall pass?
358
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,245
- A what?
- A hall pass. A week off from marriage.
359
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:51,487
- No.
- Heh.
360
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,769
Wait a minute. Are you saying
let them go out and cheat?
361
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,048
I'm saying, give them a
week off from marriage.
362
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:02,284
Look, most married men have very
foggy memories of their single days...
363
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,364
...and they begin to believe
that if not for you...
364
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,409
...they could be with these other women.
365
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,641
That's Fred.
366
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,531
I mean, he thinks because he
sees big tits all day long...
367
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,365
...and he manages to make it
home without squeezing one...
368
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:17,330
...that I should be greeting
him at the door like some hero.
369
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,802
Maybe it's time to let them go out
there and find out what it's like.
370
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,406
- Huh?
- It's called the reactance theory.
371
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,967
It's a principle in
psychology which says...
372
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:29,283
...that if you constantly tell
someone they can't do something...
373
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,369
...they just want to
do it more than ever.
374
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,490
Conversely, if you remove the
taboo, you remove the obsession.
375
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,404
You know what? I have an idea, doc.
376
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:40,565
Why don't you let your husband have a
hall pass and let us know how it turns out?
377
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:41,960
Oh, I have.
378
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,851
Are you telling us you let
Charlie sleep with another woman?
379
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:50,090
I'm not telling you that. I gave him
the freedom to choose for himself.
380
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:51,840
And?
381
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,810
All I know is our marriage
is better than ever.
382
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:08,484
All right.
383
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,931
Here, I'll get it. I'll get
it, watch. Watch, watch, watch.
384
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,484
- Oh, wow, look at this place.
- Pretty good, huh?
385
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:20,208
- Hey.
- There he is, the lord of the manor.
386
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:23,204
You see the Prius? We're going green.
387
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:24,521
I can see that.
388
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,045
Everybody in the shack!
389
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,362
- The grand tour's about to begin!
- Come on!
390
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,120
I call it headquarters.
391
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:34,205
And behind that wall, the war
room. A 300-square-foot humidor.
392
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:38,331
The humidity in there never gets
above 71 percent and never below 70.
393
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:42,007
Oh! Unbelievable. How does he
come up with this stuff, huh?
394
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,561
Aw, thank you, Mandy. I
threw in a backup generator...
395
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,724
...in case we lose power and
the main genny doesn't kick in.
396
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,325
It's absolutely epic, Ed.
397
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:50,931
Who wants a Cubano, huh?
398
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:54,687
Oh, wait a second, Eddie. First I
want to show them my headquarters.
399
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,410
- Come, come.
- Everybody upstairs.
400
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,722
Hey, Larry, I'll get
you a cigar. Come on.
401
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,208
I can’t stand these look-at-how-much-I-own
parties. They're obnoxious.
402
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:10,365
When I got my fully loaded Honda Odyssey,
I didn't go around bragging about it, did I?
403
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,967
Well, kind of. You made me drive
around town for two hours, remember?
404
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,851
Well, I thought you'd like
to watch a movie in a minivan.
405
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,731
- You never watched a movie in a minivan.
- No.
406
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,008
But did you have to
hook your boat up to it?
407
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,606
Yeah. Yeah. It's a
touring edition, dick.
408
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,603
Fridge, Sub-Zero.
409
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:30,685
The floors are French limestone and
the counter tops are Brazilian granite.
410
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,080
It's my paradise.
411
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,847
With a price tag north of 240
large, it better be paradise.
412
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,207
See, this is why the terrorists hate us.
413
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,449
Oh. I love Brazilian granite. How
come I don't have Brazilian granite?
414
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:46,242
If you recall, we had to make a couple of
fairly substantial expenditures. Remember?
415
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,645
Hey, gang, check this out.
416
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:53,010
Oh. Honey, don't show them that.
They're gonna think we're wackos.
417
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,970
Sweetie, don't keep me down.
418
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,605
- What the hell is this?
- Get in here, you're gonna love this.
419
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,928
Hey, where are the guys?
420
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,649
Wow. This is like secret-agent stuff.
421
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,802
I think a safe room
is a bit over-the-top.
422
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,486
Ed thought with the little ones
you can never be too cautious.
423
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,563
Oh. You're such a good daddy.
424
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,210
No, I disagree.
425
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,323
Here comes Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
426
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,881
Who gets a minivan when
they don't have any kids?
427
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,483
Wow, man. You just don't understand
the insurance game, do you, Rick?
428
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,644
- Ah, enlighten me.
- When you pull into a person's driveway...
429
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,644
...to sell them insurance, who
do you think they'd rather see?
430
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,201
Some knucklehead hotshot
in a convertible Sebring...
431
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,044
...or a family man in a minivan?
432
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,168
Where is everybody? Hello?
433
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,927
- Guys, we're in here!
- They can't hear you.
434
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,241
Room's soundproof.
435
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,121
And bulletproof. Also, Curt Schilling's
been in here, because I know him.
436
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:46,767
Hmm.
437
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,766
I guess they must've gone upstairs.
438
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,126
Look at this fucking thing.
439
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,281
- I feel bad for
Ed Jr. - Mm-hm.
440
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,687
It's one thing if you wanna
look like Admiral Dipshit...
441
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:02,650
...but then you gotta do it to
your kid? Look at that little:
442
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:03,847
it's awful.
443
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,848
Got him, like, looking like
Thurston Howell too. "Eh... "
444
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,731
Thanks for coming to
the war room, old chap.
445
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:15,044
By the way, did I mention that my wife's
vagina never goes above 71 % humidity?
446
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,328
- Um, maybe we should turn this off.
- Not a chance.
447
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,370
What happens if you lose
power during a blow...
448
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,204
...and your main generator drops out?
449
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:26,569
That's why we had the backup genny
installed in Britney's rumpus.
450
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,649
- Here we go.
- Ah, good show.
451
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,290
- In the rumpus?
- Right inside.
452
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,363
And there's room in
there with the stick?
453
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,289
We had to rotate the stick a little.
454
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,011
But then it gives you a
little room to get it up there!
455
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,766
Absolutely. Can wedge
anything in that ass.
456
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,366
Ha-ha-ha. Your
English accent's great!
457
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:43,806
Thank you.
458
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,041
Speaking of installations...
459
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,641
...what about the shiny
new set of cans on Mandy?
460
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:48,881
- Oh...
- Oh, yeah.
461
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,884
Either that or she's buying
her T-shirts at Baby Gap.
462
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,209
- I don't get the whole fake-boob
thing. - What don't you get?
463
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:58,250
I like my bongos with a little
mileage on them, like Britney's.
464
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,602
Britney's? No way, those
are like Baja miles.
465
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,240
I like being able to get
in there and smoosh them...
466
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,324
...hump them, Stretch Armstrong,
just bibbety-bap them all around.
467
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,527
Okay. All right.
468
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,166
But what about the correlation
between floppy boobs...
469
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:12,606
...and large-mouth vaginae?
470
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:13,807
Okay.
471
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,043
You look down there, it's like,
"Hey, I'm Billy Big-mouth Vagina. "
472
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,441
Home, home on the range
473
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,604
Where the big-mouth
vaginae Feel strange
474
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,922
- Where nothing is good
- Shh, shh, shh.
475
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,602
And it can't Ht your wood
476
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:28,847
You know what I mean.
477
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,570
Oh, relax. Come on, they can't hear us.
478
00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:37,648
You people are horrible! Horrible!
479
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,928
Very disappointed,
gentlemen. Very disappointed.
480
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,609
Hey, anyone thinking chocolate-chip
cookie dough in a waffle cone?
481
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,445
Large-mouth vaginae?
482
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,491
You thought that was funny?
483
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,087
No.
484
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,925
Really? You were laughing
like a hyena when he said it.
485
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,641
Well, I was embarrassed for Fred,
to be honest. It was uncomfortable.
486
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,484
What the hell is wrong with you two?
487
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,847
You are completely obsessed with sex.
488
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,970
Honey, obsessed is a very strong word.
489
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,881
Oh, yeah? This morning you left
the computer on Cock Gobblers. Corn.
490
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,169
I get my weather from that site.
491
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:27,604
You know what really bothers me?
492
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:32,010
This thing that you're all so obsessed
with is completely meaningless to you.
493
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,323
Rick, you can’t even tell me the
month that you lost your virginity.
494
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,245
I can tell you the exact day
and hour that I lost mine.
495
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,169
Well, honey, virginity's
different for guys.
496
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:46,006
The point is, I like sex
too. It means something to me.
497
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,369
But that doesn't mean that I'm
out gawking at every guy I see.
498
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,490
Okay, so I occasionally
notice other women. I'm sorry.
499
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,687
Occasionally?
500
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,764
Driving in a car with you is like
being with a horny bobblehead.
501
00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:00,447
I notice women. I notice all
women. I do. And you wanna know why?
502
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:04,047
- It's because of the way guys are wired.
- Oh, come on. Give me a break.
503
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,328
It's true. It's just the way it is.
504
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:10,326
It's not the way you think. It's more like
a curse. It's something you can't help.
505
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:15,042
I thought when we got married that it would
stop, but it doesn't. It's just... it's there.
506
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,964
I'm giving you a hall pass.
507
00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:19,566
- A what?
- One week off from marriage.
508
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:24,051
What, like a trial separation?
You are seriously overreacting.
509
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,363
No, it's not a separation,
it's a hall pass.
510
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,046
You can do whatever you want.
Get it out of your system.
511
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,884
Wait a second, are you for real?
512
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:34,281
Rick, this isn't
something that I just...
513
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,520
I think that you need
this. I think we need this.
514
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,364
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
515
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,046
It's not a yes-or-no offer,
and it's not a debate.
516
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:45,443
Tomorrow morning I'm taking the
kids to my parents' Cape house.
517
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,364
We'll be back next Sunday.
518
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,727
Oh, great. So, what am I supposed to do?
519
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,285
Whatever you want.
520
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,286
As far as I'm concerned, you
have the week off from marriage.
521
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:04,645
They've just added this porch.
522
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,485
There's also a jogging
path right by the river.
523
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,211
But also, what they've just
put in is a new bike trail...
524
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,847
- Hello.
- Hey. Oh. What are you doing here?
525
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,368
I called the office, they said you
were in the neighborhood. Nice place.
526
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,729
This is my friend Fred. Fred, say
hello to Harold and Marcy Goldberg.
527
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:24,680
- They're just moving up from Long Island.
- Oh, mazeltov, folks. How are you?
528
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:28,526
Let me give you a card. If you
need any home, auto, life insurance.
529
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,968
- Kind of the go-to mensch here in
town. - We're okay with insurance.
530
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:35,203
That's what they all say until
they drop dead. Let me give you one.
531
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:38,011
I don't think anyone's gonna
drop dead. But thanks, Fred.
532
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:39,730
If you wanna take another look...
533
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,486
...I'll be waiting right
here to answer any questions.
534
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,604
- Thanks. Yeah.
- Ha, ha.
535
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,525
What are you doing, man? The
mazeltov? Give me a break.
536
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,650
- Sorry. You weren't answering your phone.
- No. I'm working.
537
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,451
I just wanna see what trouble
you got into last night.
538
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,364
- You know what Grace made me do?
- What?
539
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,330
She drove me there to apologize.
Did Maggie give you grief...
540
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:00,686
...when you got back home?
541
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,171
- Kind of.
- Yeah?
542
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,051
What happened?
543
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,407
She gave me a hall pass.
544
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:09,800
A what?
545
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,571
It's like a week off from marriage.
546
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,609
Heh, heh. Yeah, right.
547
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,121
- I'm serious.
- Fuck you.
548
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:18,327
It's true.
549
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,530
She's taking the kids and going up to
her parents' beach house till next Sunday.
550
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,850
Wait, I don't get it. What...? Why aren't
you buying ticker tape for the parade?
551
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,480
- I don't know how I feel about it.
- Feel about what?
552
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,611
The hall pass. I don't... just...
Something doesn't seem quite right.
553
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,331
You think Maggie might have
a brain tumor or something?
554
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:40,485
No, no. It's like, just because your
wife says it's okay to cheat, is it?
555
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:41,926
There's a part of me that's like:
556
00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:45,169
"Wow. You must've really pushed
her to get her to this point. "
557
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,961
Is that good for a marriage, that she's
willing to try something this insane?
558
00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:51,361
Absolutely. Come on.
559
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:55,366
Doesn't it ever bother you that all of
our wives' dreams come true and ours don't?
560
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:56,681
Look at Maggie, all right?
561
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,121
She used to play house.
You bought her a house.
562
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,443
She used to play with a Easy-Bake
Oven. You bought her a Viking.
563
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,847
She wanted to be a mommy,
you made her a mommy.
564
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,126
- GE.
- What GE?
565
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:07,361
The oven's a GE.
566
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,642
It doesn't matter,
you're not trying to sell.
567
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:13,771
Look at you, you're not living your dreams.
I don't see you hosting Wheel of Fortune.
568
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,561
Your wife is living her dreams, and
now this woman, this saint of a woman...
569
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,485
...she's giving you the
opportunity to live yours.
570
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:27,089
Now you watch, this thing's gonna
end up biting Maggie in the ass.
571
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,528
And I gotta admit, I lost a little
respect for Rick for accepting it.
572
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,409
- Well, it wasn't really
his choice. - Mm-hm.
573
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,130
This is really her call, Fred.
574
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,806
Yeah. Yeah, that's a good point.
575
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,564
- You know what, maybe you're right.
- Huh.
576
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,967
Maybe this is the
progressive, cool thing to do.
577
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:43,691
Yeah, that's not what
I was saying. I said...
578
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:47,362
You are not getting a hall pass.
So you can cut the bullshit.
579
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:48,721
What?
580
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,043
Why would I need a hall
pass, huh? I got you!
581
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,568
Well, not tonight, you don't.
I'm bloated and I have cramps.
582
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:59,287
Ah, shit. I forgot
to take out the trash.
583
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:06,648
Tonight's the night we'll make history
584
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:12,450
Honey, you and I
585
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,161
'Cause I'll take any risk
586
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:20,481
To tie back the hands of time
587
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:28,125
And stay with you here tonight
588
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:38,286
I know you feel these
are the worst of times
589
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:43,361
I do believe it's true
590
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:49,204
But I know If the
world just passed us by
591
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,601
Baby, I know
592
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,129
I wouldn't have the time
593
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,044
No, no
594
00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:01,489
The best of times
595
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,886
Okay, ma'am. If you say
he's yours, you can have him.
596
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:08,804
Thank you, officer.
597
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,282
- Is he going to jail?
- Thank you so much.
598
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:19,240
What kind of sick prick
jerks off in his front yard?!
599
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,081
I got a hall pass.
600
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:23,690
What? How?
601
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,684
Well, it doesn't matter how. I got one.
602
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,842
Can you believe it? I got a hall pass.
603
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,525
When does yours begin?
604
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,330
Uh, 24 minutes ago.
605
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,687
Yeah, she's gonna go join
Maggie up at the Cape.
606
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,366
It's just you and me, buddy,
for the next 6 days. Ha, ha.
607
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,524
You realize how much easier this
is, having a hall-pass partner?
608
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:42,841
Yeah. Tell me about it.
609
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,571
It's not just me. It's gonna
be Gary, Hog-Head, Flats.
610
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,330
They're all coming out with us.
611
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:49,721
Are you joking? Those
guys got hall passes?
612
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,611
- No, no, no. They just wanna watch.
- Yeah. Watch what?
613
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,730
Watch us reel in the babes. Ha, ha.
614
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,327
That's good, that's good. You remember
how we dominated in JV basketball?
615
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:00,567
Yeah, senior year.
616
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:04,520
But that one game where we had a couple
fans in the stands, we played even better.
617
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,889
- We're a couple of show ponies, aren't we?
- Yeah, we came alive!
618
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,566
We gotta get out of here,
we're burning daylight.
619
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:12,210
- Let me log out.
- You log out.
620
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,409
- I'm gonna try to bang your receptionist.
- No, no, no! Fred. Fred.
621
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,005
Let's keep the office clean.
622
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,003
Wait till we hit the streets.
623
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,810
Class act.
624
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,208
What is taking this dude so long?
625
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,567
Just be patient. He'll come.
626
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,249
Wait, okay, I see some movement.
627
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,209
- I don't see anything.
- Yeah, upstairs window.
628
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:34,408
Oh. Here he comes.
629
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,648
- What the hell is
he doing? - Uh-oh.
630
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,920
- Shit!
- He's up. He's up.
631
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,286
You okay?
632
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,323
Come on, come on.
633
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:56,490
Get in here, Rapunzel.
634
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,371
- What the hell took you so long?
- I couldn't find my umbrella.
635
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,090
Why do you need an umbrella?
636
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,766
Apparently there's a forty
percent chance of a light drizzle.
637
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,122
Come on, come on. Let
the mayhem commence.
638
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:07,884
Hit it.
639
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:40,600
This place is dead.
640
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:44,970
Okay, well, the guy at the Comfy Nite Inn
said it doesn't really kick in till about 9:30.
641
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,167
All right.
642
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,322
Why are you guys staying at a hotel?
643
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:52,610
Well, come on, Flats, I can't very well
bring a bunch of models back to my place.
644
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:54,529
What if they end up stalking me?
645
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,087
And Rick's house has got
a bunch of family photos...
646
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,447
...and kids' drawings
on the fridge, you know?
647
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,849
It ain't exactly an
aphrodisiac for babes.
648
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,206
Doesn't make boners.
649
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,563
Hey, hey, talking of babes, which
one have you got your eyes on?
650
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,722
- Come on, who are you gonna bone first?
- Uh...
651
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,124
Hey, hey, hey. What about those
two? Why don't you go bang them?
652
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:16,403
Or maybe the hostess. Someone
should definitely jump her bones.
653
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,244
Guys, attempt to be cool.
654
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:20,323
You know, we've got
the whole week, so...
655
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,244
We'll get there, we'll get there.
656
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,563
Are you guys sure Applebee's is
the best place to meet horny women?
657
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,722
What are you thinking, Olive Garden?
658
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,048
What do you want, hot
pussy or breadsticks?
659
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,407
Wait a second, wait. Where's Coakley?
660
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,086
- That's where we should be.
- Yeah. He's in Iceland.
661
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:36,651
Why? What's he doing there?
662
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:40,009
What do you think? Iceland has the
most beautiful women in the world.
663
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:41,400
Yeah. Bjork.
664
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,604
Okay, look. I'm taking the bull
by the horns right now, okay?
665
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:46,849
You guys want beautiful women, right?
666
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,889
I know a place that got ass on tap!
667
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:52,123
Okay? And it's not Applebee's.
And it's not Olive Garden.
668
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:53,367
Let's roll, baby.
669
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,330
- Follow me, fellas, for some ass.
- Good. Okay. I like it.
670
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:59,211
A man with an plan.
Okay. Where we going?
671
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:00,486
Chili'S.
672
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:01,880
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
673
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,845
Before we go bagging chicks, I
need a hunk of beef inside me.
674
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,805
You're not gonna get a better
hunk of beef than you get here.
675
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,161
That's true. That's true.
676
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:12,403
Look, we got a long night ahead
of us. Why don't we go fuel up?
677
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:18,201
Okay, where to now?
678
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:21,371
- Rick?
- Hmm?
679
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,449
- Answer Flats.
- What's the question?
680
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:26,723
What the hell are we doing
for the rest of the night?
681
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:29,450
- We're gonna get laid, right?
- Yeah.
682
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:31,443
Is that the plan? Yeah.
683
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,611
I gotta go home and poo.
684
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:36,764
Now?
685
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,410
Why don't you just back one out here?
686
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,245
Ooh, I'm pretty sure I'm
gonna need a bath afterwards.
687
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,483
Come on, guys! All right, listen,
I say we go to a titty bar, yeah?
688
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:47,450
Where there's tits, and we look
at them, and we smoke cigars.
689
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:51,047
- That'll put a bit of lead back in the pencil.
- I got a better idea.
690
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,409
I say we, uh, tie a bow
on it and put her to bed.
691
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,609
It's gonna be a long week. I
think we need to pace ourselves.
692
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,928
What? It's only 9:15.
693
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,448
Mm. No, I'm with Rico. Freddie tie-tie.
694
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:04,687
Oh, come on!
695
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,923
Guys, guys, relax. This is
just the calm before the storm.
696
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:12,802
That's right, that's right. Tonight we build
up some strength, and then tomorrow, pfft...
697
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:15,650
...make landfall.
698
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:22,011
This resort sure beats the
hell out of the Comfy Nite Inn.
699
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,487
- Why aren't you guys staying here?
- Too pricey.
700
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:28,850
Besides, if you pay for golf you get full
access to the resort, including the pool bar.
701
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:30,769
- Oh!
- Not bad, yeah?
702
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,804
Mothers, lock up your daughters.
The dogs are off the leash.
703
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,042
Gentlemen, look what I got here.
704
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,201
What are those?
705
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:38,885
Oh, just some brownies...
706
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:40,530
- ... of the pot variety.
- Whoa.
707
00:34:40,720 --> 00:34:42,609
- What?
- We're not on spring break.
708
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,445
- Where'd you get those?
- From the guy who cleans my office.
709
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,881
- Come on, who's in?
- Ehh. Ahh...
710
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:49,850
No.
711
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:51,610
Come on, you squares.
712
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:53,569
It's not the same as when you smoke it.
713
00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:57,406
When you eat it, it's a much more mellow
buzz. Makes you feel sort of relaxed.
714
00:34:57,720 --> 00:34:59,722
- Are they chocolatey?
- Yeah.
715
00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:02,929
You know what, Rick?
This is spring break.
716
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:04,724
You guys got a hall pass.
717
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:06,245
You need to live it up.
718
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,721
Might help your rap with
the ladies at the pool later.
719
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:12,089
- Ha, ha. Correct.
- You don't even have a hall pass.
720
00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:14,322
So? I can live vicariously
through you guys.
721
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,324
It's not vicarious if you're
actually doing it, Hog-Head.
722
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,642
Get off my back. I'm just
trying to enjoy a pastry here.
723
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:22,087
Oh, what the hell.
724
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,891
It's not like my game
could get any worse.
725
00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:28,890
- Come on.
- Do it.
726
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,850
- All right, give me one
of those things. - Hee-hee.
727
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:34,366
It's a bit naughty.
728
00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:43,685
Hurry up!
729
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:46,161
What kind of soap do you use?
730
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,369
- In the shower?
- Yeah.
731
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,170
Whats the matter with you?
732
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:52,049
- Dove.
- I like Dove.
733
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,371
I like it, it doesn't
dry your skin out so much.
734
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,966
- Play through!
- Play through.
735
00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:59,845
Feel this.
736
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:03,763
- That is so soft.
- Yeah.
737
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,890
Golly, that is soft. Hey,
Hog-Head, come here, man.
738
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,407
You gotta feel Rick's
skin, feel how soft it is.
739
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,046
- Ha-ha-ha. -
Hog-Ass, you okay?
740
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,085
What the hell is he doing?
741
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,130
He's got back spasms.
742
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:21,290
- Not him. Him.
- No, they were delicious.
743
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,922
- Think your mother would give the recipe?
- Gary! What are you doing?
744
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,011
I'm talking to the guy
who cleans my office!
745
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,123
He says we took way too much!
746
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,011
We're only supposed to eat,
like, a quarter of a brownie each!
747
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:35,801
What?
748
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:40,324
Look, this is the third time I've had to
flag your group, and you're on the 4th hole.
749
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,520
Now, if I have to come out
here again, you're done.
750
00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:45,324
- Sorry, we're gonna pick it up.
- Ha, ha.
751
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:46,686
I'll see you, Jorge.
752
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:52,323
Where was the last place you saw it?
753
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:56,445
On one of the fairways. I grabbed e
club, took e swing, looked around, gone.
754
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:57,726
- Vanished?
- Yes.
755
00:36:57,880 --> 00:36:59,166
Dude, where's my golf cart?
756
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:00,850
- Not funny.
- Fred, knock it off.
757
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,809
Hey, guys, I need to take a poo.
758
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:04,200
Give us a second here.
759
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:05,771
I think it's been stolen.
760
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,207
- Who's gonna steal a golf cart?
- Criminals.
761
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:11,569
- It's probably jacked up on bricks now.
- Gary, you're being paranoid.
762
00:37:11,720 --> 00:37:15,008
- I'll tell you this. I do remember this.
- What's up with this shit?
763
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,527
I saw it on the 11th tee.
That's the last I saw it.
764
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:19,648
- We're on the sixth hole.
- They're cutting.
765
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:21,126
Did we skip five holes?
766
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:22,691
Shit, where are my kids?
767
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,530
Anybody have any napkins?
768
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:26,531
Come on, man!
769
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,525
We're getting cut on
by the Joy Luck Club.
770
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:32,561
Nobody cares about this?
771
00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,563
- Is that the marshal?
- Should we say something?
772
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:37,649
Cops! Run for it! Cutters!
773
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:50,241
Whoa. Oh...
774
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,721
- Speed up, speed up!
- I can't! I've got it floored!
775
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:55,491
Well, cut through the woods!
776
00:37:58,720 --> 00:38:00,563
- Come on!
- Come on! Come on!
777
00:38:00,720 --> 00:38:02,370
- Hurry!
- Hurry!
778
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,921
- Go! Go! Go!
- Come on!
779
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:11,924
Go, go, go!
780
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:26,842
Ed. Britney.
781
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,843
Clones.
782
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:42,730
- Strike!
- Hey, ump! You're missing a hell of a game!
783
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:44,888
Let's go. Come on, batter up. Let's go.
784
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:47,649
Little hit. Little hit. Let's go, Gerry.
785
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:54,601
Go, go, go!
786
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:56,770
Safe!
787
00:38:58,200 --> 00:38:59,964
I don't know how you can be so calm...
788
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,726
...knowing our husbands are
out chasing tail all over town.
789
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:04,803
Shh, keep it down.
790
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:06,883
Relax. Here's how I see it:
791
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,203
Rick and Fred are like a couple of
domesticated cats scratching at the door.
792
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,647
- Ha, ha.
- The first time you let them out...
793
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,844
...they are so paralyzed with
fear they bolt back into the house.
794
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,884
Okay, but we're not talking about
cats here. We are talking about dogs.
795
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,003
Ha, ha. Well, what choice do we have?
796
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,448
I don't know. I mean, why couldn't
we just keep the status quo?
797
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,524
Were things that bad that we
have to do something this extreme?
798
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:29,250
For me they were.
799
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,802
Remember when we went
to Lucy's award thing?
800
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,486
- Yeah.
- Well, that night Rick and I were gonna...
801
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:35,761
- ... you know.
- Yeah.
802
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:39,561
I started wondering, who is he gonna
be thinking about when we're having sex?
803
00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:42,121
Is it gonna be that girl
that he checked out...
804
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,523
...or is it gonna be somebody he
met that day or Missy Frankinopoulos?
805
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:50,163
Gr some Frankinopoulos monster where he
combines his favorite parts of all of them?
806
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,840
- So when he came into the room...
- What?
807
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,480
I pretended to be asleep.
808
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:59,446
You're kidding. You don't...
You've never done that before?
809
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:00,840
I do that all the time.
810
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:02,644
- Really?
- Yes.
811
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:06,327
I think it's our job as women that
between the hours of 10 p. m. and 6 a. m...
812
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:07,845
...we just fake everything.
813
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,446
- Ha, ha. Well, I don't know. I...
- Hey.
814
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,721
I'm Gerry. Thanks for
coming out to support us.
815
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,848
Yeah. That was so much fun.
816
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,843
- Go Falmouth. Ha, ha.
- Ha, ha.
817
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,047
Thanks.
818
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,647
So we saw you guys sitting up there with
those kids. Are you nannies or something?
819
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:26,403
No. Those are my kids.
820
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:27,641
They're her kids.
821
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,325
I'm not old enough to have kids.
822
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,210
Come on. Guys, come on,
let's go. Let's pick it up.
823
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:34,850
- What am I, your slave?
- See you.
824
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,685
Pick up your own balls
and bats! Move your ass!
825
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:39,569
- Thank you, Eddie.
- Ha, ha. Hey, Dad.
826
00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:41,563
Maggie, Grace. Rick
Coleman, my golf buddy.
827
00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:43,688
- He's the coach.
- Hey. Hi.
828
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,003
Hope those clowns weren't bothering you.
829
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:49,403
- Oh, no, they were sweet.
- Yeah. No, no. Those were cute kids.
830
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,564
We're going to the players'
digs for beer and brats. Join us?
831
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,209
- Yeah.
- No. We have to get the kids home.
832
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:59,409
Go. Go have some fun. You
haven't been out all week.
833
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,410
Your mother and I have the kids.
We've got Paige. No problem.
834
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:06,002
- I don't know. We weren't planning on...
- Come on. It's gonna be fun.
835
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:09,084
We're gonna have a belly-flop contest
in the pool. You all can be judges.
836
00:41:09,240 --> 00:41:10,605
- Ha, ha. Uh...
- We're in.
837
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,570
Great. Let me clean up
and you can follow me over.
838
00:41:13,720 --> 00:41:16,929
- Great.
- I'll go round up the kids.
839
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:18,765
- What are you doing?
- Huh?
840
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:23,284
Those guys are still in college. And
in case you forgot, we're married.
841
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:27,240
Uh, to who? Because you know
what? The last that I checked...
842
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,846
...Rick and Fred had the
week off from marriage...
843
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,083
...so remind me again,
who are we married to?
844
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,651
Well, I guess one beer won't kill us.
845
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:40,370
Now, that's my girl.
846
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:43,967
Come on, why can't we have some fun?
God knows our guys are living it up.
847
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,204
What would you rather? Make out
with a guy or let him blow you?
848
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:50,569
And you gotta pick one or your whole
family will die. That's the rule.
849
00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:52,131
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
850
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,448
- How long would you have to make out?
- Ten minutes.
851
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,125
- Tongue?
- Of course.
852
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:58,049
How long would you have
to let him blow you?
853
00:41:58,240 --> 00:41:59,651
- Seven minutes.
- Seven?
854
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,131
Couldn't last seven minutes.
855
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:05,126
This is tricky because, obviously, getting
a blow job from a guy, you know, is bad...
856
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:06,805
- ... but I don't know.
- Oh.
857
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,611
Making out with him is
just so intimate, isn't it?
858
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:12,127
What does he do for a
living, just out of interest?
859
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:16,122
Okay, look. This is some bullshit,
okay? I'm out of here, man.
860
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,682
I wanted to watch you guys pick
up chicks, not talk about dicks.
861
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:24,528
Whoa. Greased Lightning, take your foot
off the gas. These things take time.
862
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,446
Nah, Flats is right. This is day three.
You guys haven't even talked to a girl.
863
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,807
That's not true. Thanks
to Gary's brownies...
864
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:34,282
...I was talking to Judy on the
drug hotline most of last night.
865
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:37,683
I'm gonna get going as
well, guys. See you later.
866
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:40,282
Guys, it's all right if you strike out.
867
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:44,126
For God's sakes, at least
take a couple of swings.
868
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:56,765
Maybe we should just call the
girls, ask them to come home.
869
00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,809
Wait a second, you wanna quit?
870
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:04,364
Fred, come on. We're not the same guys
we were 15 years ago when we were single.
871
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:05,607
We've changed.
872
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:10,043
No. No, you've changed. All
you're thinking about is yourself.
873
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:11,964
I don't care. I'm
exhausted. I wanna go home.
874
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:15,204
- I miss my wife and kids, okay?
- No.
875
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:20,042
No, no, no. Let me explain
something to you, okay?
876
00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:23,323
If Maggie and Grace find out that
we can't get laid on our own...
877
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:26,051
...they'll start thinking
that we need them to get laid.
878
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:29,170
Do you realize what that'll do to the
balance of power in our homes? Do you?
879
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,084
Ahh. Yeah.
880
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:33,402
Maybe we just say that we did hook up.
881
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,848
I can't. Grace will know I'm lying.
She always knows when I'm lying.
882
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,331
And she doesn't forget.
883
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,927
I once got caught giving her fake chow
and I didn't hear the end of it for years.
884
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,845
- What's fake chow?
- When you're going south on them...
885
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,924
...and don't wanna use your tongue,
so you use fingers and smack your lips.
886
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,442
- Fake chow.
- Gotcha.
887
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:55,089
- What if we hit a massage parlor?
- No way. That is giving up.
888
00:43:55,240 --> 00:43:56,605
You don't get it, do you?
889
00:43:56,760 --> 00:44:00,003
If we can't show something positive
can come from having a hall pass...
890
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:01,889
...then the whole concept is dead.
891
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,566
Not just for you and
me, but for all mankind.
892
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:11,289
Okay, let's get out of here. I
know exactly where we should be.
893
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:12,521
Not tonight, fellas.
894
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:17,727
But there is an oldies bar
up on Mineral Spring Avenue.
895
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:20,161
- Check that out.
- Ha, ha. Thanks for the tip, Twilight.
896
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:23,324
No, no, no. Come on. Look,
let's out through the B.S. okay?
897
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,767
I know you got a tough
job. I can relate.
898
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,524
When I was in college I
was right where you are.
899
00:44:27,720 --> 00:44:29,404
Sorry, but if I let you
in I'm gonna lose my job.
900
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:32,763
Come on. You're not gonna lose your job.
901
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,809
Here's 50 bucks, okay?
902
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:36,928
Why don't you see what you can do.
903
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:45,690
Ah, ah, ah.
904
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:50,289
Sorry about that, big man.
905
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:52,807
My fault. I went against my gut.
906
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:56,004
Oh, yeah, about that.
907
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,288
We don't mean to question
your betting process...
908
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,762
...but we were only in there for two
minutes before your boss went ballistic.
909
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,890
- So we were wondering if...
- Can I get my 50 bucks back?
910
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:07,161
You fucking kidding me?
911
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:12,930
Whoo!
912
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:16,649
How about you, Rick? You have any kids?
913
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,131
I really don't like kids.
914
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:21,887
They're too needy. Plus, it's usually smart
to get married if you're gonna have kids...
915
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:24,486
...and women only like me
for three months at a time.
916
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:28,484
That's what you get.
That's what you get.
917
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,166
How about you? How long
have you been off the market?
918
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:33,926
- Over 20 years if you include dating.
- Whoa.
919
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,646
We started going out when
I was a freshmen in college.
920
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:39,531
- And where is he?
- He's...
921
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:42,170
He's back in Providence.
922
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:44,490
Poor guy. All work and no play.
923
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:48,809
Yeah. Something like that.
924
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:50,725
Here we go.
925
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:54,009
Hey, what's with the helmet?
926
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:57,004
Oh, chicks dig motorcycles. Come on.
927
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,170
Hi, everybody.
928
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,089
This is Stella Bass Band.
929
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:12,842
We're here to tighten it up for you.
930
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:17,687
First we want Willie to tighten it up.
931
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:18,841
What's that?
932
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:23,045
I went online earlier this afternoon, got
a few pick-up lines to get the ball rolling.
933
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:26,966
"You must be from Ireland because when
I look at you my penis is Dublin. "
934
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:31,524
You know what? I don't think
we need any phony pick-up lines.
935
00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:33,882
I think we can just
be our natural selves.
936
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,202
- Great, yeah. If you know how to.
- Oh, yeah.
937
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:38,249
- Give me the
helmet. - Mm-hm.
938
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,246
And right now, there's a
lot of people without jobs.
939
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,681
So, you know, just suck
it up. This is gonna...
940
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:47,724
Hello.
941
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:48,961
- Hello.
- Hi.
942
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:50,607
Hola.
943
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:58,720
Wow. This is awkward. I feel like I'm
at my first junior-high mixer. You know?
944
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,327
- When you don't know what to say.
- Ha, ha.
945
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:07,051
Um, so are you women
from Ireland perchance?
946
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:09,850
- No.
- Really?
947
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,082
Oh. I'm very surprised
to hear that news...
948
00:47:12,240 --> 00:47:16,165
...because when I look at
you, my wiener doubles in size.
949
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:20,082
Oh, no, no, no. He means
that his penis is Dublin.
950
00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:21,685
Like the city in Ireland.
951
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:22,887
It's doubling.
952
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:29,408
Do you know how much
a polar bear weighs?
953
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:30,641
No, how much?
954
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:32,689
Enough to break the
ice. Hi, Fred Searing.
955
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:34,729
Would you like to try
the Australian kiss?
956
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:37,121
It's like the French
kiss except down under.
957
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:41,563
Excuse me? Do you think these
bar napkins smell like chloroform?
958
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:44,121
I'm kidding. Fred Searing.
Can I buy you a drink?
959
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:50,643
I feel like donkey-kicking everyone
in this bar. This is unbelievable.
960
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:54,686
Hey. Hey, hey, keep your chin up, okay?
No one said this was gonna be easy.
961
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:57,491
Even in college it took 50
rejections for every one score.
962
00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:58,727
Yeah, yeah.
963
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:01,451
Of course, it didn't sting
as much when you were drunk.
964
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,171
That's what we should do,
then. We should get drunk.
965
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,163
- You're right, we're too stiff.
- I know.
966
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:08,124
Let's get the creative juices flowing.
967
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:09,924
Let the soul come to the surface.
968
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:11,923
That's when we're at our most charming.
969
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:13,969
You say no to me?
970
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:17,489
You say no to me? No, no, no. Flip it!
971
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:19,324
I say no to you!
972
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:22,484
- Come on, let's go, baby. It's time to go.
- Oh, screw you!
973
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,211
Look, hey, you think
your shit don't float?
974
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:30,161
Let me tell you something. I wouldn't
titty-bang any of you in a snowstorm.
975
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:32,322
- Come on, please?
- No!
976
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:34,562
- You had your shot and you blew it!
- Come on.
977
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:37,127
- Goodbye!
- You are the man tonight.
978
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,966
Oh, hey! Betsy Ross! You
need a pole for that flag?
979
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:46,011
Aw, what's the matter? You can't
get any bigger, you little bitch?
980
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:06,331
Hey, hon, it's me again. Just checking
in. Hope you and the kids are having fun.
981
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:11,361
And tell them that I'll call them
at bedtime. Okay, miss you guys.
982
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,481
- I actually didn't order any dessert.
- Yeah, I know.
983
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:19,523
It's on the house. It's from Diana.
984
00:49:19,720 --> 00:49:24,203
- Ohh. Hey, thanks very much.
- No, no, no. I said the young guy.
985
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:27,766
Hey. Hi. This is for
you. It's from Diana.
986
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:29,604
- Oh, wow, thanks.
- You're welcome.
987
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:53,282
Zero matches? I didn't
think that was possible.
988
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:55,647
No, no, I'm just kind of...
I'm just messing around here.
989
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,081
- Yeah, I know.
- What a bizarre world...
990
00:49:58,240 --> 00:50:00,242
...this internet dating thing is.
991
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,006
Hey, let me ask you something.
Ls Grace a big baseball fan?
992
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:04,241
Grace?
993
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:06,722
No. No, she hates baseball.
994
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:08,405
- Really?
- Yeah. Despises it.
995
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:10,244
I just talked with Maggie's
dad and he was saying...
996
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:13,444
...that the girls have been
going to some minor league games.
997
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:15,682
- Well, the kids are probably enjoying it.
- No, that's just it.
998
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:19,447
It's like the kids are with the
grandparents in Nantucket for a few days.
999
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:20,965
Our girls been going alone.
1000
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:22,924
What is that?
1001
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:24,565
Just a... it's a picture.
1002
00:50:24,720 --> 00:50:27,564
- That's from high school.
- Yeah, I know. I think it says a lot about me.
1003
00:50:27,720 --> 00:50:30,610
I love football and it's... it's just
like a teaser, man. There's like...
1004
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:32,683
I got some more current ones. Look.
1005
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:35,888
- Oh, look at that.
- It's cute.
1006
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:38,122
Never occurred to you that
the wife and three kids...
1007
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,362
...might scare off
potential ladies though, huh?
1008
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:42,761
You think I should
Photoshop the baby out?
1009
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,890
Yeah. I think you should
Photoshop all of them out. Come on.
1010
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:49,601
Look, I'm trying to be honest here.
I don't want some gal walking away...
1011
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:53,128
...with a broken ticker when she
finds out I'm a one-time carnival ride.
1012
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,570
Mm-hm. Let's forget
the internet, all right?
1013
00:50:56,720 --> 00:50:59,326
You and I gotta start playing
to our strengths. Starting now.
1014
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:01,323
- Good. What are they?
- Let's be honest.
1015
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,005
Complete strangers do not like us.
1016
00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:04,645
- Agreed.
- But you know who does?
1017
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:08,361
People that know us just a little bit.
Like in a casual surface-y kind of way.
1018
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:10,921
- They dig us.
- They do dig us.
1019
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,003
When they don't know us that well.
1020
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:15,527
- Like who?
- Well, I was thinking about...
1021
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:23,801
- Oh. Hi, Fred.
- Hey, Missy. Oh, here, I got you this.
1022
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:26,803
- Thanks.
- Mm-hm.
1023
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:32,322
- Stuffed grape leaves?
- Yeah, and some gyros.
1024
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:35,444
Gyros. However the hell
you say it. Heh, heh.
1025
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:41,206
- Frankinopoulos. You're Greek,
right? - My ex-husband is.
1026
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:43,603
Right. Right.
1027
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:45,925
So...
1028
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:48,928
How are you, Fred?
1029
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:52,169
- Are you okay?
- I don't wanna get into all the details...
1030
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:58,646
...but my wife gave me this one time
deal where I get to be with another woman.
1031
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:00,930
- Really?
- Yeah.
1032
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:03,725
Not bad, right?
1033
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:09,807
Wait a second.
1034
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:13,050
Is that why you're here?
1035
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:16,090
Well, if that's what you're
getting at I'm not gonna say no.
1036
00:52:16,240 --> 00:52:17,765
What are you, an asshole?
1037
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:20,241
Hey, don't go shooting
the messenger now.
1038
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,721
You come over here out of the
blue with a bag of garbage.
1039
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:24,723
- You're welcome.
- And you think I'm gonna fuck you...
1040
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:28,009
...because of some bullshit
agreement you had with your wife?
1041
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:31,409
You know what? Screw you, Fred.
1042
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:36,407
What the hell just happened?
1043
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:46,091
Yeah!
1044
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:55,925
Go, go, go!
1045
00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:58,847
Yeah!
1046
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:11,044
- Hi.
- Hi. Can I take your order?
1047
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:14,889
I'm not quite sure what I'm gonna get.
1048
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,481
Um, hmm.
1049
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:23,131
Hoo. Um...
1050
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:26,204
So just tell me today
1051
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:29,443
Um, hey, man, do you mind
if she takes my order?
1052
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:32,961
Why?
1053
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:35,202
Well, just... You know, because...
1054
00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:37,287
Because she's...
1055
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:40,406
She's taken my order before and it's...
1056
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:43,928
I'm thinking she'll remember it, and
it gets a little bit complicated...
1057
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:46,447
...so I'm thinking it
could speed up the process.
1058
00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:48,409
You know, if it's not a big deal.
1059
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:50,881
Little help. Leigh?
1060
00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:53,811
Your unique barista
skills have been requested.
1061
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,445
Oh, hey.
1062
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:58,126
- Hi.
- What can I get you?
1063
00:53:58,280 --> 00:53:59,645
Iced coffee, two Splendas.
1064
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:02,842
- That'll be $2.
- Nice tunes, by the way.
1065
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,651
You guys choose them yourself
or they come from Corporate?
1066
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:07,842
It's me. It's Snow Patrol.
1067
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:11,766
Oh, yeah. Good soundtrack.
Pretty good movie.
1068
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:16,244
Tell you one thing, Cube Gooding definitely
does not belong in the snow, does he?
1069
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:20,845
You're thinking of Snow
Dogs, the kiddie flick.
1070
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:23,606
This is Snow Patrol, the band.
1071
00:54:27,720 --> 00:54:29,324
Thank you for the tip.
1072
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,528
Ahem. I was making a joke.
1073
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:33,364
- No, you weren't.
- Yeah, I was.
1074
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:35,682
- You were dead serious.
- It was a joke.
1075
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:43,245
One sec.
1076
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:45,571
Hello?
1077
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:47,885
Here you go.
1078
00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:52,649
Enjoy your two-Splenda'd
iced coffee, mister. Hmm?
1079
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:55,041
Why are you smiling?
1080
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:59,849
You think this is some alligator-infested
moat? No one can get over there to you?
1081
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:03,243
You know, this whole kind of
I'm-on-the-inside, too-cool-for-school...
1082
00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:05,442
...let's-make-fun-of
the-dorky-suburban-guy.. _
1083
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:08,683
...because-I'm-safe-on-this-side-of-the
counter routine's gonna get you hurt.
1084
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,650
Another thing? After you've
lost your parents' money...
1085
00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:15,202
...on your avant-garde piece-of-crap
short film, you're gonna need a job.
1086
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,249
Guess what. It's guys like me that hire.
1087
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:20,210
Guys like me don't hire
punks like you. All right?
1088
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:23,443
So shape up. Good day, sir.
1089
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:38,762
I work out there.
1090
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:42,604
Oh, really? Here?
1091
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:46,367
Yeah, I work out at home but thinking
about taking my workouts public.
1092
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:47,567
What do you squat?
1093
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:53,731
Uh, well, I don't really squat. I just run
on the hamster wheel after work every day.
1094
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:57,930
Ha, ha. The old hamster wheel.
Yeah. I'm on that baby too.
1095
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:00,966
So did you, um, go to Harvard?
1096
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:04,567
Yeah. I went to a party there once.
1097
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:08,962
This is actually Harvard Health Care.
1098
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:12,806
Yeah, I had to go in when I got a bunch
of tests done for my life insurance.
1099
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:17,443
For your variable-term life insurance.
When you re-up on your death benefit, it...
1100
00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:19,927
Not a big deal. This is... Ah.
1101
00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:23,482
This thing looks pretty good, though.
I like this. "Change your life. "
1102
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:24,721
It's a great place.
1103
00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:28,726
They've actually got a bar there, so
I always grab a beer after my workout.
1104
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:31,486
- A bar? Ha, ha.
- It's a good routine.
1105
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,324
Ha, ha. That sounds good.
1106
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:37,007
If you decide to join, tell them Leigh
sent you and I'll get two free months.
1107
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,441
Yeah. Sure thing, Leigh.
1108
00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:40,806
Rocking.
1109
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:42,968
R-O-C-K in
the U.S.A.
1110
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:44,167
LAUGHS]
1111
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:48,723
Gr whatever they say in Australia.
1112
00:57:05,240 --> 00:57:07,368
Oh, I'm sorry. Ch.
1113
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:09,727
Hi. Hello. Hi, Britney.
1114
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:10,927
- Fred.
- Hello.
1115
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:13,606
Hey. And hello to Alli...
1116
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:14,921
- Come here.
- Anyway.
1117
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:18,368
Mr. Searing? You pick up other
day. No more clothes here.
1118
00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:22,206
I know. I was just Corning by to let
you guys know what a great job you did.
1119
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,522
As always. Just the
perfect amount of starch.
1120
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:26,883
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
1121
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:29,363
Ah. I'm gonna head out.
1122
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:32,444
Got a meeting across town in
'IO minutes, so I should boogie.
1123
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:34,364
- Okay. Mm.
- Very nice seeing you.
1124
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:38,047
Hey, if you get a chance,
please pound Ed's potato for me.
1125
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:40,851
Okay. Uh, goodbye. Mwah.
1126
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,048
Oh, don't do that. That's...
1127
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:45,567
Okay. All right. Bye.
1128
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,651
Hi.
1129
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:04,881
You want a massage?
1130
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:08,243
- Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You fill out form.
1131
00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:17,403
No, no, no. You know,
I'd prefer no paper trail.
1132
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:21,687
Fill out form. It policy.
1133
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:26,528
You know what? Um, honestly, I'd
prefer not to have anything in print.
1134
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:28,603
- Little man. Scram.
- Ha, ha.
1135
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:31,047
How I know what you want
if you no fill out form?
1136
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:33,771
I'll just say it to
you. I'll just tell you.
1137
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:38,446
- So, what you waiting for'?!
- Oh. Hey. Heh, heh.
1138
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,331
Not very relaxing so far. Um...
1139
00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:43,482
Okay, um, come here.
1140
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:48,124
Can I get a rub-and-tug and
finish off with a tea bag, please?
1141
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:52,931
Okay. But must check with manager first.
1142
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:54,320
No.
1143
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:57,121
...rub-and-tug...
tea bag...
1144
00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:01,726
- Um, she misheard. No.
- You must fill out form.
1145
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:04,121
I said, rub, no tug.
1146
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:06,282
And the tea bags were...
You heat those up.
1147
00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:09,490
You dip them in water, heat them
up, and put them on pressure...
1148
00:59:09,640 --> 00:59:12,166
How do I know more about massage
than you guys know about massage?
1149
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:14,362
- That doesn't make sense.
- You are so busted.
1150
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:16,767
Sorry. Oh, God.
1151
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:18,604
Okay. Sorry.
1152
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:23,960
- Shake it, shake it, shake it
- Like a tambourine
1153
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:26,322
Shake it, shake it, shake
it You the one for me
1154
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:28,323
Shake it, shake it,
Mama You the one for me
1155
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:30,801
I'm realizing you're the
only one That's meant to be
1156
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:32,923
And when I wake up in the
morning All I wanna see
1157
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:35,242
Is the sun and it's
shining on you Next to me
1158
00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:37,641
You got a little broken
nail Got a hair out of place
1159
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:40,411
Got a little bit of extra
middle Right around the waist
1160
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:42,847
- Shake it, shake it, shake it
- Like a tambourine
1161
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,241
Shake it, shake it, shake
it You the one for me
1162
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:03,810
Leigh?
1163
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:07,124
Hey, girl.
1164
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:09,361
An right!
1165
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,482
Hey, Clyde. This is my friend...
1166
01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:13,926
- Rick.
- Rick.
1167
01:00:14,080 --> 01:00:15,206
He'd like to join.
1168
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:16,486
Great.
1169
01:00:16,640 --> 01:00:19,166
- I'll get you signed right up.
- Okay.
1170
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:21,209
- All right. I'll see you later on.
- Yeah.
1171
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:25,046
Oh, Leigh, are you gonna grab
a brew-ski after your workout?
1172
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:26,406
No.
1173
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:27,806
Gonna grab two.
1174
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:31,611
Meet me down here in
about one hour sharp.
1175
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:34,649
Yeah. Peace it.
1176
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:46,445
Ah.
1177
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:06,925
Help!
1178
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:10,882
I can't feel my legs!
1179
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:13,401
I can't feel my muscles!
1180
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:17,241
Holy shit!
1181
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:24,924
- Did you faint, sir?
- No, I just...
1182
01:01:25,080 --> 01:01:27,526
I think I was in the hot
tub too long. I just...
1183
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:29,444
My body just feels like jelly.
1184
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:31,921
You're gonna be okay.
Just take a couple breaths.
1185
01:01:32,120 --> 01:01:33,724
Get me some towels.
1186
01:01:33,880 --> 01:01:37,441
No, no. Do me a favor. Irish,
switch places with this guy.
1187
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:39,090
Why?
1188
01:01:46,920 --> 01:01:49,651
- Does this mean you're going steady?
- It's not funny.
1189
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:53,202
This poor kid is spending his
hard-earned money on me. It's sad.
1190
01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:56,451
I mean, it's cute, but it's really sad.
1191
01:01:56,600 --> 01:02:00,525
You should be flattered. You're 38 years
old and you have college guys chasing you.
1192
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:01,966
He thinks I'm 32.
1193
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:07,325
What? Look, I just... I feel bad if I
gave him the wrong impression, you know?
1194
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:09,926
No, you didn't give him
the wrong impression.
1195
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:12,521
"Dear Grace, our final game is tonight.
1196
01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:16,162
Please meet me at my place afterwards
to toast the best summer of my life.
1197
01:02:16,320 --> 01:02:19,483
Yours most truly, Gerald Ahem. "
1198
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:21,730
Number 11.
1199
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:23,922
Yeah, thanks for piling on.
1200
01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:26,770
I mean, I can't accept this.
1201
01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:29,082
I'm just gonna have
to go set him straight.
1202
01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:37,283
You know what I miss the most?
1203
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:38,687
What?
1204
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:39,961
The arch.
1205
01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:42,607
- The arch?
- Yeah.
1206
01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:47,205
You know that moment when you're taking a
girl's panties off for the very first time...
1207
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:49,442
...and you don't know
if she's gonna stop you.
1208
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:52,490
Then she gives that tiny
little pelvic arch thrust...
1209
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:55,450
...to help you out, let you
know you're in the clear.
1210
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:56,681
Smooth sailing.
1211
01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:58,410
I miss that.
1212
01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:00,449
- That's a nice moment.
- Yeah.
1213
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:04,202
We let down the male
species, you know that?
1214
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:06,886
Maybe you were right. We
should just call it quits...
1215
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:09,884
- ... and just ask the girls to come home.
- No!
1216
01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:12,964
I want the hall pass, okay?
1217
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:16,010
At first I wasn't sure,
but now I want the dream.
1218
01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:18,640
I don't even know what
the dream is anymore.
1219
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:20,006
I'll tell you what it is.
1220
01:03:20,360 --> 01:03:23,364
I wanna remember what it feels
like to be with someone...
1221
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:25,409
...who really wants to be with me...
1222
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:27,244
...out of just pure desire...
1223
01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:31,246
...not because they have to
out of some sense of duty.
1224
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:35,480
You know, all this arch talk's
got me craving some Mickey D's.
1225
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:37,051
- Up for it?
- Yeah.
1226
01:03:42,680 --> 01:03:43,806
Hello?
1227
01:03:45,120 --> 01:03:48,010
Yeah. Yeah.
1228
01:03:48,360 --> 01:03:49,407
Okay.
1229
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:52,245
All right. See you there.
1230
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:54,241
Who was that?
1231
01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:56,846
Ah. That was just an angel from heaven.
1232
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:58,570
Coakley's back in town.
1233
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:00,006
- What?
- Yeah.
1234
01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:01,924
He wants to hang and he wants to bang.
1235
01:04:05,680 --> 01:04:07,444
Waiting for a sign
1236
01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:11,561
if I survive, I'll worship the moon
1237
01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:16,569
Or something, anything
1238
01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:20,725
Push the defrost button
on the microwave, boys.
1239
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:23,480
The deep freeze is over.
1240
01:04:26,960 --> 01:04:28,724
And they talked
1241
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:30,922
And they danced
1242
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:36,323
Coakley.
1243
01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:40,167
Mm.
1244
01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:44,810
Okay, boys, you're on the clock now.
1245
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:46,041
What?
1246
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:49,488
You gotta hit them right out of the gate.
Half an hour from now you'll be old news.
1247
01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:52,564
Oh. Should we go talk
with this girl right here?
1248
01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:54,529
Don't waste your time, man.
1249
01:04:54,680 --> 01:04:55,761
Why?
1250
01:04:55,920 --> 01:04:58,207
Workaholic. She'll be out
of here in five minutes.
1251
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:00,761
- What are you talking about?
- Look at her hand.
1252
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:02,809
Carpal tunnel syndrome.
1253
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,128
Even if she stayed,
you wouldn't want her.
1254
01:05:05,280 --> 01:05:10,002
You get a hand job from her, you need
the Jaws of Life to get you out of it.
1255
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:11,889
Yeah, there she goes.
1256
01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:14,850
Wow. You're good.
1257
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:16,445
Oh, hey. Hey.
1258
01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:19,211
- The tall blond, right here. Yeah.
- Hmm.
1259
01:05:19,360 --> 01:05:23,001
Forget about it. It's an illusion.
She's surrounded by stootfish.
1260
01:05:23,160 --> 01:05:24,525
Stootfish?
1261
01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:28,162
When an eight surrounds herself
with less attractive women...
1262
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:31,842
- ... to make her look like a 10.
- What are you talking about? She is a 10.
1263
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:34,128
You make me laugh,
Freddie. Come on, try this.
1264
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:35,651
All right.
1265
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:37,962
- What is it?
- Now block everything out.
1266
01:05:38,160 --> 01:05:39,525
- Tell me what you see.
- Wha...?
1267
01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:42,843
Uh-huh. Okay, now watch this, man.
1268
01:05:43,040 --> 01:05:44,201
Hot.
1269
01:05:44,360 --> 01:05:45,521
FRED; Right.
1270
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:48,007
- Not.
- Oh, my God.
1271
01:05:48,160 --> 01:05:49,730
Hot.
1272
01:05:51,720 --> 01:05:53,051
Not.
1273
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:55,328
- Holy shit!
- Ha-ha-ha.
1274
01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:58,165
That's amazing. You're
like A Beautiful Mind.
1275
01:05:59,720 --> 01:06:02,610
I can't do well When I
think you're gonna leave me
1276
01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:04,285
But I know I try
1277
01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:07,010
Are you gonna leave me now?
1278
01:06:08,960 --> 01:06:11,725
Can't you be believing now?
1279
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:15,251
Hey, Mr. Mills.
1280
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:17,209
Hey! Paige!
1281
01:06:17,360 --> 01:06:19,203
I thought you were down at the Cape.
1282
01:06:19,360 --> 01:06:22,648
Your in-laws took the kids for
the weekend, so I came home early.
1283
01:06:23,120 --> 01:06:25,441
- Okay.
- I turned 21 today.
1284
01:06:25,600 --> 01:06:26,886
I'm legal now.
1285
01:06:27,080 --> 01:06:28,684
- Oh, happy birthday.
- Thanks.
1286
01:06:28,840 --> 01:06:30,205
Yeah. You out celebrating?
1287
01:06:30,360 --> 01:06:32,681
Yeah, my cousin got me and
my aunt on the VIP list.
1288
01:06:33,320 --> 01:06:34,765
That's my Aunt Meg over there.
1289
01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:37,447
She's 45 years old and she
still parties like she's my age.
1290
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:39,887
- Whoo!
- Wow.
1291
01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:42,601
So, Rick, how's the week
off from marriage going?
1292
01:06:42,760 --> 01:06:45,730
You don't mind if I call you
Rick? I am officially an adult now.
1293
01:06:45,880 --> 01:06:47,609
No, sure. But what did you just say?
1294
01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:51,606
I was asking you about that hall-pass
thing. I babysat for the Putneys last night.
1295
01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:53,444
I heard Mr. Putney talking about it.
1296
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:56,251
Gary was talk... Who was
he talking about it to?
1297
01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:58,528
- Just everyone at the barbecue.
- What?
1298
01:06:58,680 --> 01:07:01,047
Oh, I don't think he
meant it in a bad way.
1299
01:07:01,240 --> 01:07:04,608
I actually think it's cool of you to
be staying at the Comfy Nite Inn...
1300
01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:09,049
...instead of bringing girls back to your
home with the kids' pictures all taped up.
1301
01:07:09,200 --> 01:07:10,440
Thank you.
1302
01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:13,968
- What can I get you?
- Can I get three tequila shots, please?
1303
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:18,207
By the way, I think that
I owe you an apology.
1304
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:22,160
Last week when you drove me home, I
shouldn't have snapped at you like that.
1305
01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:26,928
No, no, no. Don't be ridiculous.
It was just a misunderstanding.
1306
01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:28,286
No, it wasn't.
1307
01:07:28,480 --> 01:07:31,131
If you thought that I was
kind of coming on to you...
1308
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:34,887
...it's probably because I kind of was.
1309
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:43,801
- Fifty-seven bucks. - What?
Are you kidding me? That...
1310
01:07:44,320 --> 01:07:45,685
That seems a little stiff.
1311
01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:49,003
They're just kids in here. I don't
see how they afford these prices.
1312
01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:52,410
- Paige, I better get going.
- What? Where are you going?
1313
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:56,690
Paige, you're my kids'
babysitter. Have a happy birthday.
1314
01:07:57,680 --> 01:07:59,842
But my Aunt Meg wants to meet you.
1315
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:05,731
- All right.
- Yeah! Getting wasted.
1316
01:08:05,880 --> 01:08:08,360
- Whoo! Mm.
- The spirits doth floweth.
1317
01:08:10,760 --> 01:08:12,205
- Aah!
- Yeah! Ha, ha.
1318
01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:17,400
That girl over there is looking at you.
1319
01:08:18,320 --> 01:08:22,086
Which one? What? The one that
looks like Chief from Cuckoo's Nest?
1320
01:08:22,280 --> 01:08:24,851
No, no, man. The one
sitting next to her.
1321
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:28,201
Oh, yeah.
1322
01:08:28,360 --> 01:08:31,489
She's very vulnerable.
She just quit cigarettes.
1323
01:08:31,640 --> 01:08:33,051
How do you know?
1324
01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:36,767
Because she can't take her
eyes off the smokers over there.
1325
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:40,889
How do you know those
aren't her friends?
1326
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:44,522
- Come on, Coakley, give me a break.
- Well, that might be plausible...
1327
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:46,449
...if her lips weren't shaking...
1328
01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:49,120
...and her fingernails
weren't chewed down to the nub.
1329
01:08:49,280 --> 01:08:53,365
And that bag, man. That's a little
big to be bringing into a club.
1330
01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:57,406
Unless she needs room
for a $5 foot-long.
1331
01:08:57,560 --> 01:08:59,927
- So you got a woman who quit smoking.
- Right.
1332
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:03,084
She's tense, she's hungry.
1333
01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:06,040
And it all adds up to what?
1334
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:08,570
That woman needs something in her mouth.
1335
01:09:08,720 --> 01:09:10,563
Aah, that's my boy! Let's go!
1336
01:09:10,720 --> 01:09:12,563
- Now?
- Right now, man. The universe is calling.
1337
01:09:12,720 --> 01:09:14,449
- I don't know if we need to go now.
- Come on.
1338
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:18,131
Walking on a dream
1339
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:21,641
How can I explain?
1340
01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:24,930
Talking to myself
1341
01:09:27,160 --> 01:09:29,083
Will I see again?
1342
01:09:30,960 --> 01:09:34,601
We are always running for
the thrill of it Thrill of it
1343
01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:38,287
Always pushing up the hill
Searching for the thrill of it
1344
01:09:38,480 --> 01:09:40,881
On and on and on We are calling out
1345
01:09:41,040 --> 01:09:43,486
How late's this bitch
staying open tonight?
1346
01:09:43,640 --> 01:09:44,721
Ick.
1347
01:09:47,280 --> 01:09:50,284
Is it real now
1348
01:09:50,880 --> 01:09:54,407
When two people become one?
1349
01:09:54,560 --> 01:09:57,769
I can feel it
1350
01:09:58,560 --> 01:10:02,121
When two people become one
1351
01:10:02,280 --> 01:10:05,409
Is it real now
1352
01:10:06,120 --> 01:10:09,090
When two people become one?
1353
01:10:09,880 --> 01:10:12,451
I can feel it
1354
01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:13,687
Hey, girl.
1355
01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:15,251
Hey.
1356
01:10:15,400 --> 01:10:16,970
What are you doing here?
1357
01:10:17,120 --> 01:10:18,201
Just chilling.
1358
01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:20,129
Yeah, me too.
1359
01:10:20,280 --> 01:10:22,203
Just chilling and wiggling.
1360
01:10:22,640 --> 01:10:25,644
What happened to you yesterday?
Thought we were gonna get a beer.
1361
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:26,881
Yeah. Uh...
1362
01:10:27,040 --> 01:10:32,171
I got caught up in my reps and my curls
and shit and just lost track of time.
1363
01:10:32,320 --> 01:10:35,642
So is this, like, your playground?
It seems like great energy in here.
1364
01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:37,962
No, I've actually
never been here before.
1365
01:10:38,120 --> 01:10:40,805
A friend of mine's DJ'ing,
so I promised him I'd come.
1366
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:42,809
Calling out and out again
1367
01:10:42,960 --> 01:10:44,246
Never looking down
1368
01:10:44,400 --> 01:10:46,641
So is this guy like your
boyfriend or something?
1369
01:10:46,840 --> 01:10:48,490
No, no, no.
1370
01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:50,808
Well, we messed around
once, but just a little.
1371
01:10:50,960 --> 01:10:53,008
And by a little you mean...?
1372
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:54,525
Anal.
1373
01:10:54,680 --> 01:10:56,330
Okay. Yeah.
1374
01:10:57,520 --> 01:10:58,851
I'm joking.
1375
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:00,525
- Oh. Ha, ha.
- Ha, ha.
1376
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:04,846
He kissed me one night. Kissed
him back. It was a big mistake.
1377
01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:08,963
So, what's with the ring?
1378
01:11:09,200 --> 01:11:10,361
Yeah, I...
1379
01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:13,842
You ever heard of a hall pass?
1380
01:11:14,000 --> 01:11:18,164
All right, it's about time I take
the governor off this beyotch!
1381
01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:21,803
It was those tall skinny guys
and they were all over my yard.
1382
01:11:22,000 --> 01:11:25,049
But here's the weird thing. I
wasn't even afraid of them at all.
1383
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:28,249
And when they asked me if I wanted
to go with them, I said, "Sure. "
1384
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:30,084
And I walked right in.
1385
01:11:30,240 --> 01:11:32,561
Oh, my God. You are so brave.
1386
01:11:32,760 --> 01:11:34,967
I would never climb
into one of those things.
1387
01:11:35,120 --> 01:11:38,408
Fred, would you ever just
walk into a UFO on your own?
1388
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:41,331
I would if one came right now, sure.
1389
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:45,725
Wow, so you're married?
1390
01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:50,125
Yeah. It wasn't like I was trying
to hide it. I mean, you know.
1391
01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:54,882
No, I just thought your wife might've
died and you're wearing it out of respect.
1392
01:11:55,080 --> 01:11:58,641
Oh, no. No, she's
still hanging in there.
1393
01:11:59,280 --> 01:12:01,282
Hey, you okay? You keep
checking your pulse.
1394
01:12:01,440 --> 01:12:05,923
Yeah. I just... I got a little chest
cramp, but I'm working through it.
1395
01:12:06,080 --> 01:12:07,081
Ouch.
1396
01:12:07,240 --> 01:12:08,321
- Yeah.
- Heartburn?
1397
01:12:08,480 --> 01:12:13,725
No, it feels more like excessive
plaque build-up in the arteries.
1398
01:12:20,480 --> 01:12:22,289
Hi, Maggie. This is Isabel.
1399
01:12:22,480 --> 01:12:25,006
I went to clean the house today,
but nobody has been there...
1400
01:12:25,160 --> 01:12:27,162
...or slept in any of
the beds this week...
1401
01:12:27,360 --> 01:12:29,567
...so I just cleaned the
windows and left early.
1402
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,210
I hope you don't mind. Bye.
1403
01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:41,125
Hey.
1404
01:12:43,200 --> 01:12:44,406
What are you doing here?
1405
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:47,484
I thought you might wanna help me
celebrate the end of the season.
1406
01:12:47,640 --> 01:12:48,971
Oh, um...
1407
01:12:49,600 --> 01:12:52,046
Uh, brought some good late-night eats.
1408
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:57,522
Yeah. Yeah, come on in.
1409
01:13:03,560 --> 01:13:06,131
- Come on. You gotta go.
- No.
1410
01:13:07,040 --> 01:13:08,883
Come on. Can I go?
1411
01:13:18,520 --> 01:13:19,646
LAUGHS]
1412
01:13:27,440 --> 01:13:29,807
What are you doing, man? Come on.
1413
01:13:29,960 --> 01:13:34,090
You found your dream girl, now take her
back to the hotel and take care of business.
1414
01:13:34,240 --> 01:13:37,130
We don't have much in common.
I can't even talk to her.
1415
01:13:37,280 --> 01:13:40,329
Talk to her? Fred, now what do
you want, a pen pal or a poon pal?
1416
01:13:40,480 --> 01:13:42,608
I only got one shot at this, all right?
1417
01:13:42,760 --> 01:13:44,250
I think I can do better.
1418
01:13:44,400 --> 01:13:47,449
Every loser in Vegas
thinks they can do better.
1419
01:13:47,600 --> 01:13:51,366
You know what winners do? They walk
away from the table while they're up.
1420
01:13:53,240 --> 01:13:55,288
Licky like a sexy ear
1421
01:13:55,440 --> 01:13:57,204
Lick here
1422
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:03,247
L-I licky C-K licky
Y licky C-K licky Y
1423
01:14:03,400 --> 01:14:06,483
Why? Because I am a /icky
-/icky guy
1424
01:14:06,640 --> 01:14:07,687
Yeah!
1425
01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:10,406
I licky /-C
/icky K-Y
1426
01:14:10,560 --> 01:14:12,403
I'm just a /icky girl
1427
01:14:16,880 --> 01:14:18,803
How do I know if she'll
come home with me?
1428
01:14:18,960 --> 01:14:22,931
Oh, she'll Come home with you.
She's wearing a thong, man.
1429
01:14:23,080 --> 01:14:24,969
How do you know that?
1430
01:14:25,120 --> 01:14:26,724
I did a crawl-by.
1431
01:14:27,960 --> 01:14:29,689
Coakley.
1432
01:14:31,480 --> 01:14:33,721
Licky my sticky
1433
01:14:34,480 --> 01:14:36,050
Fuck it. Okay, here.
1434
01:14:36,960 --> 01:14:41,409
Give those to Rick. I'm gonna
take a cab back to the hotel. Oh.
1435
01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:42,641
- Freddie.
- What?
1436
01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:47,051
It has been an honor
to watch you grow up.
1437
01:14:50,760 --> 01:14:52,091
All right.
1438
01:14:52,240 --> 01:14:53,969
Licky like a tangerine
1439
01:14:56,640 --> 01:15:00,008
Thirteen hundred dollars?
For two bottles of booze?
1440
01:15:00,160 --> 01:15:02,401
Guys, it was an accident.
I'm not paying that.
1441
01:15:02,600 --> 01:15:05,763
- Yes, you are.
- No, I... Look, how about...
1442
01:15:05,920 --> 01:15:08,161
How about I replace them.
First thing tomorrow morning...
1443
01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:10,721
...I bring you four new
bottles. Not two, four...
1444
01:15:10,880 --> 01:15:14,009
...and a couple of breakfast burritos
for the big dog here. That's a good deal.
1445
01:15:14,160 --> 01:15:17,482
- How about you pay now.
- No. Guys...
1446
01:15:17,760 --> 01:15:20,684
We're taking the party back to my
house. Bring a girl or don't come, man.
1447
01:15:20,840 --> 01:15:22,126
What?
1448
01:15:22,280 --> 01:15:24,931
Okay, now don't even think
about putting e tip on there.
1449
01:15:35,200 --> 01:15:37,328
Hey. There's my girl.
1450
01:15:38,120 --> 01:15:40,771
Come on in. I'm just
mixing up some margaritas.
1451
01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:43,207
We lost our final game
today, but I went yard.
1452
01:15:43,360 --> 01:15:44,771
Oh, that's good.
1453
01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:47,002
So, um, where is everybody?
1454
01:15:47,160 --> 01:15:50,004
They all went out to
some party. Come on in.
1455
01:15:50,160 --> 01:15:52,162
Gerry, I can't stay.
1456
01:15:53,120 --> 01:15:54,281
What?
1457
01:15:55,480 --> 01:15:56,606
Is everything okay?
1458
01:15:56,760 --> 01:15:58,762
Yeah. No, everything's fine.
1459
01:15:58,920 --> 01:16:03,323
Look, um, I really can't accept this.
1460
01:16:03,720 --> 01:16:04,801
Why not?
1461
01:16:04,960 --> 01:16:09,010
Because I'm a married
woman, Gerry, you know that.
1462
01:16:10,360 --> 01:16:11,850
Oh. Um...
1463
01:16:13,360 --> 01:16:18,571
Look, I'm really sorry if I made
you feel uncomfortable, Grace.
1464
01:16:18,760 --> 01:16:20,285
It's just...
1465
01:16:20,960 --> 01:16:22,121
...I really like you.
1466
01:16:23,560 --> 01:16:24,971
I like you too, Gerry.
1467
01:16:25,120 --> 01:16:28,169
And, no, you didn't make
me feel uncomfortable.
1468
01:16:32,280 --> 01:16:34,601
The mystery zone
1469
01:16:35,280 --> 01:16:36,645
All right
1470
01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:40,246
Wait, are you serious?
1471
01:16:40,400 --> 01:16:41,925
You might have appendicitis?
1472
01:16:42,080 --> 01:16:44,970
My stomach's rumbling and I'm
having these shooting pains.
1473
01:16:45,160 --> 01:16:46,764
I should take you to the hospital.
1474
01:16:46,920 --> 01:16:50,322
No, I'll be all right. It's
probably just this stupid patch.
1475
01:16:50,480 --> 01:16:52,323
I mean, I quit smoking and...
1476
01:16:53,760 --> 01:16:57,162
It's just... I think I'm allergic to
it, and it makes me all queasy and...
1477
01:16:57,320 --> 01:17:00,244
- Oh.
- Plus, I had a bunch of drinks at the club.
1478
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:01,970
Well, are you gonna throw up?
1479
01:17:02,120 --> 01:17:04,327
Oh. No, I can't.
1480
01:17:04,480 --> 01:17:06,847
Ooh, here. Here. Here.
Just take this just in case.
1481
01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:09,082
No, I'm one of those people
who can never throw up.
1482
01:17:10,880 --> 01:17:13,690
I wish I could throw
up. I know it would help.
1483
01:17:21,080 --> 01:17:23,082
Oh. Wow.
1484
01:17:23,960 --> 01:17:27,442
You know what? I think
I feel a little better.
1485
01:17:29,280 --> 01:17:30,850
That sneeze helped.
1486
01:17:32,160 --> 01:17:34,527
Take her wherever she
wants to go. Here you are.
1487
01:17:35,920 --> 01:17:38,526
But I never got your number!
1488
01:17:58,560 --> 01:18:01,450
- Can I help you?
- You must be Rick.
1489
01:18:01,920 --> 01:18:02,967
Go on.
1490
01:18:03,120 --> 01:18:06,044
Hi, my name's Meg. Paige's aunt.
1491
01:18:17,360 --> 01:18:19,761
I guess I still have a lot
to get out of my system...
1492
01:18:19,960 --> 01:18:22,247
...before I do the whole
marriage trip, you know?
1493
01:18:22,400 --> 01:18:25,483
I'm one of those people that
wants to try everything once.
1494
01:18:25,640 --> 01:18:26,846
And the good things twice.
1495
01:18:28,440 --> 01:18:30,044
Oh, like swim with the dolphins.
1496
01:18:30,200 --> 01:18:33,602
- Yeah. I'd love to meet the Dalai Lama.
- Mm. Sure.
1497
01:18:33,760 --> 01:18:35,967
- Bungee jump.
- Oh, I've already done that.
1498
01:18:36,120 --> 01:18:38,168
- Skydiving. - Skinny-dip
in the Indian Ocean.
1499
01:18:38,320 --> 01:18:40,448
- Sleep with a married guy. Ha, ha.
- Ha, ha.
1500
01:18:41,960 --> 01:18:45,123
I just mean if that was one of the
things on the old bucket list...
1501
01:18:45,320 --> 01:18:48,403
...I could help you cross that
off. To sleep with a married guy.
1502
01:18:48,560 --> 01:18:51,370
Ahem. What'd you say, the Indian Ocean?
1503
01:18:51,520 --> 01:18:53,887
- I don't wanna be a home wrecker, Rick.
- No, no, no.
1504
01:18:54,080 --> 01:18:56,287
That's what I'm saying. I've got a pass.
1505
01:18:56,440 --> 01:19:00,047
You could do this with a clear conscience.
I'm not trying to sell you on it.
1506
01:19:00,200 --> 01:19:02,328
Those are the facts of the situation.
1507
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:09,121
It's getting a little loud in here. Is
there somewhere a bit more quiet we could go?
1508
01:19:09,280 --> 01:19:11,601
Coakley's game room
upstairs. It's soundless.
1509
01:19:11,760 --> 01:19:14,445
- It's like space.
- Leigh!
1510
01:19:15,200 --> 01:19:17,282
- Leigh.
- Oh, this fucking guy.
1511
01:19:17,480 --> 01:19:18,970
Brent, what are you doing here?
1512
01:19:19,120 --> 01:19:21,646
The old dude invited me.
He invited the entire club.
1513
01:19:21,800 --> 01:19:24,041
You knew how important tonight was!
1514
01:19:24,200 --> 01:19:26,931
My whole family was there! And
they don't come to anything!
1515
01:19:27,080 --> 01:19:28,366
The fuck you looking at?
1516
01:19:28,520 --> 01:19:31,649
Everyone came tonight and
they stayed, except for you!
1517
01:19:31,800 --> 01:19:33,484
That's not respectful!
1518
01:19:33,640 --> 01:19:34,846
Okay, just calm down.
1519
01:19:35,040 --> 01:19:38,328
No! I would like to
speak to you alone. Alone.
1520
01:19:39,240 --> 01:19:41,322
I'll just be a second.
1521
01:19:51,680 --> 01:19:54,001
- Ahem. Uh, hey.
- Oh, hey.
1522
01:19:54,640 --> 01:20:01,649
Uh, sorry about being a little, you know,
quick on the trigger there. It's just, uh...
1523
01:20:01,800 --> 01:20:05,885
You know, you're so hot
I couldn't help myself.
1524
01:20:06,040 --> 01:20:07,166
Oh...
1525
01:20:07,800 --> 01:20:09,245
it's fine.
1526
01:20:10,040 --> 01:20:12,691
Is, uh, everything okay?
1527
01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:15,411
Yeah. Yeah.
1528
01:20:20,680 --> 01:20:24,605
Uh... No, everything's not okay.
1529
01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:26,731
Um...
1530
01:20:27,720 --> 01:20:30,485
Look, you're a great guy, Gerry.
1531
01:20:30,640 --> 01:20:33,371
But what just happened here...
1532
01:20:33,800 --> 01:20:37,043
Yeah, that can never happen again.
1533
01:20:37,200 --> 01:20:38,929
Okay?
1534
01:20:39,280 --> 01:20:40,327
Ch.
1535
01:20:40,520 --> 01:20:45,606
I mean, I know it's kind of
hard to understand after...
1536
01:20:46,440 --> 01:20:51,651
But, um, I really love my husband.
1537
01:20:52,720 --> 01:20:55,769
And in reality, you and me, here...
1538
01:20:55,920 --> 01:21:01,051
...this could never be
more than what it just was.
1539
01:21:03,320 --> 01:21:05,402
Yeah. I know that.
1540
01:21:05,560 --> 01:21:06,891
You do?
1541
01:21:07,040 --> 01:21:08,565
Well, yeah.
1542
01:21:08,720 --> 01:21:11,929
Yeah, no. I mean, jeez, um...
1543
01:21:12,080 --> 01:21:16,210
Look, no offense or anything, but let's
face it. You're a lot older than me.
1544
01:21:18,000 --> 01:21:20,446
By
- No, I don't mean that in a bad way.
1545
01:21:20,640 --> 01:21:25,851
It's just, you know, I didn't think we were
gonna start dating or anything, you know?
1546
01:21:27,200 --> 01:21:29,646
Jeez, can you imagine, like,
the looks that we would get?
1547
01:21:29,800 --> 01:21:32,690
It'd be like Hugh Hefner
and his girlfriends.
1548
01:21:32,840 --> 01:21:35,366
- Ha, ha. You'd be Hef.
- Yeah, I got that.
1549
01:21:35,800 --> 01:21:38,280
- Yeah.
- Hmm. Huh.
1550
01:21:38,880 --> 01:21:42,930
Um, you know what? I gotta
get going. We have a...
1551
01:21:43,120 --> 01:21:45,930
We have a team meeting in like
20 minutes. It's a tradition.
1552
01:21:46,080 --> 01:21:48,481
It'd probably be really
uncool if I didn't...
1553
01:21:48,640 --> 01:21:50,165
Yeah, you don't have to explain.
1554
01:21:50,320 --> 01:21:51,446
Okay.
1555
01:21:51,600 --> 01:21:54,843
Um, well, seriously, though,
thanks for everything.
1556
01:21:55,040 --> 01:21:57,281
- You're awesome at sex.
- Oh.
1557
01:22:03,240 --> 01:22:06,642
I'm sure there's an explanation
for why he hasn't slept in your bed.
1558
01:22:06,800 --> 01:22:08,882
You know, maybe he
took a trip somewhere.
1559
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:12,965
No. He can't. He has two houses closing
escrow this week. He has to be in town.
1560
01:22:13,120 --> 01:22:16,727
Maybe he has been home, but he can't
stand sleeping in your bed without you...
1561
01:22:16,880 --> 01:22:19,326
...so he's been racking on
the couch and, you know...
1562
01:22:19,480 --> 01:22:20,641
...banging all the women there.
1563
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:21,926
LAUGHS]
1564
01:22:22,120 --> 01:22:23,690
Here, open. Oh.
1565
01:22:25,240 --> 01:22:26,401
You...
1566
01:22:26,840 --> 01:22:30,322
- Not bad, huh? - All
right. Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.
1567
01:22:36,160 --> 01:22:38,731
Um, I wonder what's keeping Grace.
1568
01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:40,962
She went over there to
break the kid's heart.
1569
01:22:41,120 --> 01:22:43,691
The least she could do
is lend a sympathetic ear.
1570
01:23:05,480 --> 01:23:07,482
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
1571
01:23:09,240 --> 01:23:11,288
I hope you don't mind
me tracking you down.
1572
01:23:11,440 --> 01:23:13,204
Paige told me where you were staying.
1573
01:23:13,360 --> 01:23:17,001
Please. No, not at all. No.
It's good to have company.
1574
01:23:17,160 --> 01:23:19,367
You've been very sweet to her.
1575
01:23:19,760 --> 01:23:24,049
Well, you know, she's a good kid. She's a
good kid and I do what I can for the kids.
1576
01:23:24,200 --> 01:23:29,161
She told me everything and I have
to admit, I was very impressed.
1577
01:23:29,320 --> 01:23:30,401
Hmm?
1578
01:23:30,560 --> 01:23:36,124
I mean, I know she came on to you twice,
and that both times you set her straight.
1579
01:23:36,320 --> 01:23:37,401
She came on to me?
1580
01:23:37,560 --> 01:23:39,324
Rick, enough with the chivalry.
1581
01:23:39,480 --> 01:23:44,566
I mean, come on. Paige has a crush on
you and you didn't take advantage of her.
1582
01:23:44,720 --> 01:23:48,805
I'm just saying, that is very cool.
1583
01:23:49,000 --> 01:23:54,404
Especially since you have
your wife's permission now.
1584
01:23:54,880 --> 01:23:56,325
Yeah.
1585
01:23:56,600 --> 01:23:57,761
I like that, Rick.
1586
01:23:59,960 --> 01:24:01,200
You have morals.
1587
01:24:03,000 --> 01:24:04,126
Yeah.
1588
01:24:04,280 --> 01:24:06,282
Well, all you have in
this world is your word.
1589
01:24:06,440 --> 01:24:07,521
Mm.
1590
01:24:09,520 --> 01:24:11,329
Quiet little voices
1591
01:24:11,520 --> 01:24:13,807
Creep into my head I'm young again
1592
01:24:13,960 --> 01:24:19,524
I'm young again, I'm
young again I'm young again
1593
01:24:19,680 --> 01:24:22,445
Quiet little monsters
1594
01:24:22,600 --> 01:24:24,807
Creep inside my bedroom well
1595
01:24:24,960 --> 01:24:30,569
I'll fall for you, I'll fall
for you I'll fall for you
1596
01:24:30,720 --> 01:24:33,121
Quiet words of wisdom
1597
01:24:33,600 --> 01:24:35,967
Creep into your victim's ears
1598
01:24:36,120 --> 01:24:40,091
I'll die for you, I'll die
for you I'll die for you
1599
01:24:40,240 --> 01:24:42,561
- I love that picture.
- Yeah. Yeah.
1600
01:24:42,760 --> 01:24:45,047
- Yeah. That was a great day, man.
- It was.
1601
01:24:45,200 --> 01:24:47,248
Everybody had a great
time at that wedding.
1602
01:24:47,400 --> 01:24:49,368
I mean everybody.
1603
01:24:49,680 --> 01:24:52,126
You know, I went balls deep
in one of the bridesmaids.
1604
01:24:52,280 --> 01:24:53,520
Yeah, I remember.
1605
01:24:53,680 --> 01:24:59,084
She was a really pretty girl with
these big old floppy tits. Boom.
1606
01:24:59,280 --> 01:25:02,011
Hello? Bluh. Ha, ha.
1607
01:25:02,200 --> 01:25:03,884
You... What was her name, man?
1608
01:25:04,040 --> 01:25:05,530
- Jenny. Yeah.
- Jenny.
1609
01:25:05,680 --> 01:25:07,762
My sister, Jenny.
1610
01:25:10,880 --> 01:25:13,201
Nice girl. Really sweet.
1611
01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:15,650
- And how's she doing?
- Good.
1612
01:25:15,800 --> 01:25:17,165
Oh, great, man, great.
1613
01:25:17,320 --> 01:25:20,483
- Still married.
- Oh, is she? Great. I'm glad it worked out.
1614
01:25:20,640 --> 01:25:23,405
Seemed like they were
having problems, you know?
1615
01:25:49,320 --> 01:25:50,810
- Hey.
- Hey.
1616
01:25:50,960 --> 01:25:52,041
There you are.
1617
01:25:52,200 --> 01:25:55,522
Uh, yeah. I was thinking
that you were gone.
1618
01:25:55,680 --> 01:25:58,411
No. I told you, I just had
to talk him off the ledge.
1619
01:25:58,560 --> 01:26:00,130
I sent him home. He's fine now.
1620
01:26:00,280 --> 01:26:02,601
- Ha, ha.
- You picked somewhere nice and quiet.
1621
01:26:02,800 --> 01:26:05,929
Yeah. Yeah, it is, uh, quiet in here.
1622
01:26:06,080 --> 01:26:10,722
You know, in fact, it's so quiet I
kind of just... I kind of hit a wall.
1623
01:26:10,880 --> 01:26:13,201
Yeah, I was... I'm gonna split.
1624
01:26:13,360 --> 01:26:15,567
Really? Are you...? You okay?
1625
01:26:15,720 --> 01:26:16,960
Yeah. No, I feel good.
1626
01:26:17,120 --> 01:26:21,728
I got a little tickle in my ear that I
get in the summer from mold spores that...
1627
01:26:21,880 --> 01:26:25,646
You gotta be careful because they'll come
into your throat. But no, no, I got...
1628
01:26:26,280 --> 01:26:27,645
I have commitments.
1629
01:26:27,800 --> 01:26:29,245
Wow.
1630
01:26:33,560 --> 01:26:35,562
Hey, relax.
1631
01:26:36,200 --> 01:26:38,362
Try not to think so much.
1632
01:26:39,520 --> 01:26:42,842
You have your wife for
the rest of your life.
1633
01:26:43,000 --> 01:26:45,048
Tonight, you can have me.
1634
01:26:47,080 --> 01:26:48,889
So I drink again
1635
01:26:49,720 --> 01:26:53,645
Oh, oh And I play the game
1636
01:26:53,800 --> 01:26:56,610
Oh, oh Like I did yesterday
1637
01:26:56,760 --> 01:26:59,764
Uh, you know what? I'm sorry.
1638
01:27:01,080 --> 01:27:04,482
I can't do this. I
can't do this, I'm sorry.
1639
01:27:05,840 --> 01:27:08,320
Your wife didn't give you
a permission slip, did she?
1640
01:27:08,480 --> 01:27:09,527
No, no, she did.
1641
01:27:09,680 --> 01:27:12,843
Look, you are insanely
beautiful and sexy...
1642
01:27:13,000 --> 01:27:17,164
...and every cell in my body
is angry at me right now.
1643
01:27:17,320 --> 01:27:19,288
I've got, like, a mutiny on my hands.
1644
01:27:19,440 --> 01:27:21,602
I feel like I'm vibrating. Like...
1645
01:27:23,400 --> 01:27:24,925
But you see this area?
1646
01:27:25,760 --> 01:27:27,171
This spot right here.
1647
01:27:27,320 --> 01:27:31,325
The first time I ever slept with Maggie back
in college, she fell asleep right here...
1648
01:27:31,480 --> 01:27:33,960
...and she left, like,
a little pool of drool...
1649
01:27:34,120 --> 01:27:37,124
...but it didn't really bother
me. It actually felt good.
1650
01:27:37,280 --> 01:27:40,523
And I thought, "I
wanna marry this girl. "
1651
01:27:40,680 --> 01:27:43,126
And then I did. It
was, like, a long shot.
1652
01:27:43,520 --> 01:27:46,000
And miraculously, it came through.
1653
01:27:46,160 --> 01:27:48,561
And then we had kids.
Emma, Gunnar and Mac.
1654
01:27:48,720 --> 01:27:53,328
And that's their spot. When they're
brand-new they'd sleep right here.
1655
01:27:53,480 --> 01:27:56,324
When it'd be 4 in the morning
you'd be holding their head...
1656
01:27:56,480 --> 01:27:59,802
...because their little necks don't
have... They're just kind of like...
1657
01:28:00,000 --> 01:28:03,004
And it's where we first
got to know each other.
1658
01:28:03,160 --> 01:28:07,563
And it doesn't matter
how beautiful you are...
1659
01:28:09,320 --> 01:28:11,243
I gotta go home.
1660
01:28:11,480 --> 01:28:14,006
I wanna go home.
1661
01:28:18,800 --> 01:28:22,771
Well, uh, you definitely
have a screw loose.
1662
01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:27,686
And you're probably going to regret
this for the rest of your life...
1663
01:28:27,840 --> 01:28:30,525
...but, uh, you know what?
1664
01:28:31,640 --> 01:28:33,210
You're a good guy.
1665
01:28:38,360 --> 01:28:40,328
Um, do you need a ride home?
1666
01:28:40,480 --> 01:28:43,768
No. It's only 2:30. I'm
gonna go back in the party.
1667
01:28:43,960 --> 01:28:45,610
Okay.
1668
01:28:45,760 --> 01:28:47,205
Peace it.
1669
01:28:47,360 --> 01:28:49,522
R-O-C-K in
the U.S.A.
1670
01:28:49,680 --> 01:28:52,524
LAUGHS]
1671
01:29:05,800 --> 01:29:07,165
Hello?
1672
01:29:07,880 --> 01:29:08,927
Hello?
1673
01:29:09,080 --> 01:29:10,809
- Ls this Fred Searing?
- No.
1674
01:29:10,960 --> 01:29:13,406
This is Trooper Frioli of the
Massachusetts State Police.
1675
01:29:13,560 --> 01:29:17,246
No, it's a friend of his. I just
picked up his phone. Is everything okay?
1676
01:29:24,680 --> 01:29:25,727
Yes, Rick. More tongue.
1677
01:29:27,080 --> 01:29:28,127
Oh, God.
1678
01:29:28,280 --> 01:29:29,406
Oh, yeah.
1679
01:29:29,560 --> 01:29:31,085
More tongue. More tongue.
1680
01:29:39,640 --> 01:29:41,608
There he is. Hey.
1681
01:29:41,760 --> 01:29:42,886
What are you doing here?
1682
01:29:43,040 --> 01:29:45,441
What do you think? I'm
looking for my aunt.
1683
01:29:45,600 --> 01:29:47,170
Your aunt's staying here?
1684
01:29:48,840 --> 01:29:51,047
I know you and her are hooking up.
1685
01:29:51,200 --> 01:29:54,044
What? Paige, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
1686
01:29:54,240 --> 01:29:56,288
This is really bad
timing. I gotta get going.
1687
01:29:56,440 --> 01:29:59,683
Look, I saw her car in the
parking lot. I know she's here.
1688
01:29:59,840 --> 01:30:01,649
Okay, Paige. Enough, please.
1689
01:30:01,800 --> 01:30:03,962
Just because your wife
isn't faithful to you...
1690
01:30:04,120 --> 01:30:07,090
...doesn't mean you have to
go around screwing my family.
1691
01:30:09,280 --> 01:30:10,645
What?
1692
01:30:13,800 --> 01:30:14,961
Wow.
1693
01:30:17,000 --> 01:30:20,209
I guess somebody doesn't
know about the baseball coach.
1694
01:30:22,120 --> 01:30:23,963
Do the alphabet, Rick! Aah!
1695
01:30:27,080 --> 01:30:29,162
Fred, I need to talk to you.
1696
01:30:29,960 --> 01:30:32,486
Fred? I thought you were Rick.
1697
01:30:32,640 --> 01:30:34,642
No, I'm Rick.
1698
01:30:35,400 --> 01:30:37,448
- What?
- Please don't judge me.
1699
01:30:38,800 --> 01:30:42,168
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What did
they say? Is Grace gonna be okay?
1700
01:30:42,320 --> 01:30:45,529
They said she was in a oar accident
and they took her to the hospital.
1701
01:30:45,680 --> 01:30:47,967
They wouldn't say any
more because I'm not you.
1702
01:30:49,320 --> 01:30:51,891
- All right. Calm down.
- This is my fault.
1703
01:30:52,040 --> 01:30:54,964
God is punishing me because I'm
the worst husband in the world.
1704
01:30:55,120 --> 01:30:56,645
No, you're not. Come on, come on.
1705
01:30:56,840 --> 01:30:59,161
Yes, I am. I've been bad,
Rick. I've been real bad.
1706
01:30:59,320 --> 01:31:02,164
- We've both been bad.
- I kissed your babysitter's aunt.
1707
01:31:02,320 --> 01:31:03,401
That's not so bad.
1708
01:31:03,600 --> 01:31:04,726
- On the vagina.
- Ooh.
1709
01:31:06,080 --> 01:31:07,730
- Oh!
- Whoa.
1710
01:31:07,880 --> 01:31:10,326
- No, no! No. Ooh.
- Hey! Oh!
1711
01:31:10,520 --> 01:31:11,601
Hey, what the hell?
1712
01:31:11,760 --> 01:31:12,841
No, no! No!
1713
01:31:13,000 --> 01:31:14,809
How do you like me now, Splenda boy?
1714
01:31:14,960 --> 01:31:16,530
Moron, this is my car!
1715
01:31:17,080 --> 01:31:19,526
- Oh. This is your car?
- Yes!
1716
01:31:19,680 --> 01:31:21,364
I'm sorry, I had no idea.
1717
01:31:21,520 --> 01:31:22,567
Hey! Hey!
1718
01:31:22,720 --> 01:31:25,041
You think I give a shit, pudge boy?
1719
01:31:25,200 --> 01:31:26,531
Why am I pudge boy?
1720
01:31:26,680 --> 01:31:29,206
Take it easy, okay? Relax.
1721
01:31:29,360 --> 01:31:30,441
No! You take it easy!
1722
01:31:30,600 --> 01:31:32,568
You think that you can
come into my club...
1723
01:31:32,720 --> 01:31:34,688
...take my girl and
then get away with it?
1724
01:31:34,880 --> 01:31:36,041
No. Not tonight, buddy.
1725
01:31:36,200 --> 01:31:39,044
But why would you even try to have
sex with the right Rick? He was mine.
1726
01:31:39,200 --> 01:31:40,884
- Ugh.
- Fuck, no!
1727
01:31:41,040 --> 01:31:42,690
You're not gonna get away with it!
1728
01:31:42,840 --> 01:31:44,490
- Never! Ever!
- Hey! Hey!
1729
01:31:44,680 --> 01:31:46,284
Brent?
1730
01:31:47,280 --> 01:31:48,770
Mother?
1731
01:31:49,840 --> 01:31:53,561
- What are you doing here?
- Wait, wait, wait. Aunt Meg is your mom?
1732
01:31:56,080 --> 01:31:57,764
How does he know your name?
1733
01:31:57,920 --> 01:32:00,241
- Well... Kind of...
- We... Sort of...
1734
01:32:00,400 --> 01:32:03,244
What? No. No, no, no.
1735
01:32:03,400 --> 01:32:05,004
No.
1736
01:32:05,200 --> 01:32:07,407
No. Are you telling me...
1737
01:32:07,560 --> 01:32:11,724
...that this 40-hour-week
motherfucking soccer dad took my girl...
1738
01:32:11,920 --> 01:32:13,649
...and this flabby asshole...
1739
01:32:15,120 --> 01:32:16,167
...my mother?
1740
01:32:16,320 --> 01:32:18,482
No, no, no! I didn't
have sex with your mom.
1741
01:32:18,920 --> 01:32:22,367
- All I did was fake-chow
her. All right? - It's true.
1742
01:32:23,760 --> 01:32:27,048
- That's it. You two are dead men.
- Whoa! He's got a gun!
1743
01:32:27,200 --> 01:32:28,884
- No!
- What?
1744
01:32:29,040 --> 01:32:31,042
- Where did you get that?
- Grandpa's closet!
1745
01:32:33,200 --> 01:32:34,247
No! Brent!
1746
01:32:34,440 --> 01:32:36,727
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1747
01:32:37,360 --> 01:32:38,725
Go, go, go.
1748
01:32:41,080 --> 01:32:43,447
Go, go, go. Get down.
1749
01:32:43,600 --> 01:32:45,443
Am I scaring you, asshole?
1750
01:32:45,600 --> 01:32:46,965
Do you have a shot count?
1751
01:32:47,160 --> 01:32:48,491
- A shot count?
- Yeah!
1752
01:32:48,640 --> 01:32:50,688
No, I didn't get a fucking shot count.
1753
01:32:50,840 --> 01:32:52,171
Come here.
1754
01:32:53,640 --> 01:32:56,041
Huh? PAIGE & MEG Aah!
1755
01:32:57,800 --> 01:33:00,007
Shooter down. Let's roll!
1756
01:33:03,680 --> 01:33:05,205
- Go, go. Punch it. Punch it.
- I'm going.
1757
01:33:05,360 --> 01:33:07,089
- Get off me, Mom.
- Brent, stop it.
1758
01:33:10,080 --> 01:33:12,447
Oh, hell, no!
1759
01:33:15,480 --> 01:33:16,641
What the hell was that?
1760
01:33:16,800 --> 01:33:18,131
Go, go. Drive.
1761
01:33:19,840 --> 01:33:22,969
- He's coming through the back.
- What's up, assholes?
1762
01:33:23,120 --> 01:33:25,168
Swerve! Swerve! Swerve!
1763
01:33:29,440 --> 01:33:32,011
Okay. No, no. He's gone.
Drive. Drive. You shook him.
1764
01:33:34,280 --> 01:33:38,080
I don't believe this.
Maggie's having an affair.
1765
01:33:39,120 --> 01:33:40,246
What?
1766
01:33:44,200 --> 01:33:47,010
Well, you didn't give him
a free pass for nothing.
1767
01:33:49,840 --> 01:33:52,844
So come on. Just be honest. What
were you trying to accomplish?
1768
01:33:53,840 --> 01:33:55,444
I don't know.
1769
01:33:55,600 --> 01:33:57,682
I just felt like...
1770
01:34:00,880 --> 01:34:02,689
...he wasn't noticing me anymore.
1771
01:34:02,840 --> 01:34:07,084
And I wanted to feel wanted again.
1772
01:34:08,680 --> 01:34:13,527
And the truth is, I never really
thought he'd go through with it.
1773
01:34:24,000 --> 01:34:25,764
Oh, my God.
1774
01:34:25,920 --> 01:34:27,365
What?
1775
01:34:27,520 --> 01:34:29,761
This hall pass.
1776
01:34:32,200 --> 01:34:34,567
It was never for him.
1777
01:34:38,400 --> 01:34:39,811
It was for me.
1778
01:34:41,560 --> 01:34:43,528
I got a hall pass. Why shouldn't she?
1779
01:34:43,680 --> 01:34:45,250
She's a beautiful woman.
1780
01:34:45,400 --> 01:34:48,006
What guy isn't gonna wanna
be with a beautiful woman...
1781
01:34:48,200 --> 01:34:50,726
...whose husband decides
he's gonna take a week off?
1782
01:34:50,880 --> 01:34:54,521
Come on! What kind of hospital
doesn't have a live operator?
1783
01:34:54,680 --> 01:34:56,569
Fred! Fred, it's 4 a. m.
1784
01:34:57,560 --> 01:35:00,564
Uh-huh.
And uh-huh.
1785
01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:09,527
Huh. There's something
you don't see a lot.
1786
01:35:10,080 --> 01:35:15,120
I took her for granted. I
took Maggie for granted. Yeah.
1787
01:35:15,960 --> 01:35:17,769
I feel like I'm gonna throw up, man.
1788
01:35:19,120 --> 01:35:20,406
Oh, great.
1789
01:35:20,560 --> 01:35:23,450
- Okay, pull over, man.
- No way. I can outrun them.
1790
01:35:23,600 --> 01:35:25,090
No, you can't! Not in this thing.
1791
01:35:25,280 --> 01:35:26,441
Watch me.
1792
01:35:28,400 --> 01:35:30,482
- Okay, now we got two of them.
- I don't care!
1793
01:35:30,640 --> 01:35:33,530
- I'm not stopping till I get to Grace.
- Are you crazy?
1794
01:35:33,680 --> 01:35:35,091
Yeah, I'm crazy!
1795
01:35:35,240 --> 01:35:36,685
I'm crazy about my wife!
1796
01:35:39,320 --> 01:35:40,731
What is happening?!
1797
01:35:42,760 --> 01:35:45,809
Aah! Brent, that hurts!
1798
01:35:53,680 --> 01:35:55,569
- Hey!
- What are you doing, man?
1799
01:35:55,720 --> 01:35:59,122
Hear me out, gentlemen. I
can explain every... Uh. Uh.
1800
01:35:59,720 --> 01:36:01,245
Hold it!
1801
01:36:01,440 --> 01:36:02,601
Aah! Aah! NO!
1802
01:36:04,960 --> 01:36:06,928
No, no. Okay, okay! Aah.
1803
01:36:07,080 --> 01:36:08,650
Oh, God. Grace needs me!
1804
01:36:09,200 --> 01:36:11,362
- Take it easy, buddy.
- I won't take it easy!
1805
01:36:11,520 --> 01:36:15,320
Okay, look. I did not stop because there's
a lunatic out there trying to kill us!
1806
01:36:15,480 --> 01:36:19,087
And my wife's been in an accident,
and I need to see if she's okay!
1807
01:36:19,240 --> 01:36:20,924
Because that woman is my life!
1808
01:36:21,080 --> 01:36:23,811
Is he the husband of Grace Searing?
1809
01:36:24,000 --> 01:36:26,606
Yes! Yes, I am. Is she okay?
1810
01:36:26,800 --> 01:36:28,962
Please. Please, tell
me she's gonna be okay.
1811
01:36:29,320 --> 01:36:31,766
She's having difficulty breathing.
1812
01:36:34,720 --> 01:36:36,449
Oh, my God.
1813
01:36:39,160 --> 01:36:40,321
Is she gonna live?
1814
01:36:40,520 --> 01:36:43,330
Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. She's
fine. She just broke her nose.
1815
01:36:43,920 --> 01:36:45,763
We had to stuff some gauze up there.
1816
01:36:45,920 --> 01:36:48,491
She's gonna be a mouth
breather for about a week.
1817
01:36:48,640 --> 01:36:53,806
But, all in all, I would
say you're a very lucky guy.
1818
01:36:55,440 --> 01:36:56,521
Bless you, doctor.
1819
01:36:56,680 --> 01:36:58,682
I'll fucking kill you! Come here!
1820
01:36:58,840 --> 01:37:02,242
We didn't know what was going on
because he came in through the window.
1821
01:37:02,400 --> 01:37:04,084
That had been knocked out earlier...
1822
01:37:04,240 --> 01:37:06,163
...back when he fired
the holes in there.
1823
01:37:06,320 --> 01:37:08,800
Rick! Rick! She's gonna be okay!
1824
01:37:08,960 --> 01:37:10,291
- She's okay?
- She's all right.
1825
01:37:10,440 --> 01:37:11,805
Hey, Anderson...
1826
01:37:12,440 --> 01:37:13,726
...these guys are clean.
1827
01:37:13,880 --> 01:37:16,281
That lunatic was attacking them
before he punched Officer Leska.
1828
01:37:17,680 --> 01:37:19,205
Anyway, he's in bracelets.
1829
01:37:19,360 --> 01:37:21,010
Well, I guess you're off the hook.
1830
01:37:21,160 --> 01:37:22,207
Thank you.
1831
01:37:22,360 --> 01:37:24,283
Can you believe it?
I get a second chance.
1832
01:37:24,480 --> 01:37:29,725
Fred, go in there and take care of
that woman. You're lucky to have her.
1833
01:37:30,440 --> 01:37:31,726
Okay. All right, thank you.
1834
01:37:31,880 --> 01:37:34,281
Put her on a pedestal. The
biggest one you can find.
1835
01:37:34,440 --> 01:37:37,046
Oh, wait! Rick, Rick,
Rick. Good luck with Mags.
1836
01:38:14,880 --> 01:38:16,928
Oh, God.
1837
01:38:17,320 --> 01:38:18,765
Oh, my God!
1838
01:38:20,480 --> 01:38:22,403
Oh, God.
1839
01:38:27,040 --> 01:38:29,884
Oh, my God. You poor thing.
1840
01:38:30,040 --> 01:38:32,088
Um, hold on an second.
Rick just walked in.
1841
01:38:32,480 --> 01:38:34,244
Grace has been in a car accident.
1842
01:38:34,400 --> 01:38:35,970
Yeah, I know. She's okay, though.
1843
01:38:36,120 --> 01:38:37,690
Fred's over there.
1844
01:38:37,840 --> 01:38:40,411
Oh. So they're letting you go?
1845
01:38:41,280 --> 01:38:42,486
Okay.
1846
01:38:42,680 --> 01:38:44,808
You're headed here. Great.
1847
01:38:44,960 --> 01:38:46,883
All right, I love you too.
1848
01:38:48,560 --> 01:38:50,608
God, she scared me to death.
1849
01:38:50,760 --> 01:38:52,364
Yeah.
1850
01:38:53,080 --> 01:38:54,764
Hi.
1851
01:38:55,960 --> 01:38:59,282
So, what are you doing here?
1852
01:39:00,760 --> 01:39:02,649
March 25th, 1989.
1853
01:39:04,240 --> 01:39:05,446
What?
1854
01:39:05,880 --> 01:39:09,885
That's the day I lost my
virginity. March 25th, 1989.
1855
01:39:10,240 --> 01:39:12,686
Approximately 10:30 p. m.
1856
01:39:14,440 --> 01:39:16,841
What are you talking
about? We were dating then.
1857
01:39:17,560 --> 01:39:19,801
I know. You were my first.
1858
01:39:20,640 --> 01:39:21,846
And you were my last.
1859
01:39:22,000 --> 01:39:23,843
And you've been everything in between.
1860
01:39:26,320 --> 01:39:27,526
Really?
1861
01:39:27,960 --> 01:39:29,121
Really.
1862
01:39:29,280 --> 01:39:31,123
Is that why you were crying that night?
1863
01:39:32,760 --> 01:39:36,287
I wasn't crying, I don't think.
1864
01:39:37,400 --> 01:39:39,368
And I was...?
1865
01:39:42,960 --> 01:39:44,883
I was your last?
1866
01:39:48,640 --> 01:39:50,210
You're my only.
1867
01:39:51,400 --> 01:39:53,164
Forever.
1868
01:40:03,520 --> 01:40:05,170
Whose car is that out front?
1869
01:40:05,320 --> 01:40:07,721
Oh, it's a friend of
my dad. Baseball player.
1870
01:40:07,880 --> 01:40:10,850
He came over last
night. Drank some wine.
1871
01:40:11,000 --> 01:40:14,049
He got a little frisky, so
I sent him home in a cab.
1872
01:40:14,400 --> 01:40:15,561
Define frisky.
1873
01:40:15,720 --> 01:40:19,805
Oh, don't worry. You were my last too.
1874
01:40:23,600 --> 01:40:25,568
But I can't say you were my first.
1875
01:40:25,720 --> 01:40:28,405
You know, words really do hurt.
1876
01:40:44,920 --> 01:40:48,083
So I mean, what were you doing
driving around at 1 in the morning?
1877
01:40:48,240 --> 01:40:51,323
No, I was just, um,
upset about things...
1878
01:40:51,520 --> 01:40:55,411
...and I wasn't paying any attention,
and I think I must have hit some sand...
1879
01:40:55,560 --> 01:40:58,211
...and the next thing you
know, I'm running into a pole.
1880
01:41:00,040 --> 01:41:01,485
Grace.
1881
01:41:02,240 --> 01:41:03,605
I'm so sorry.
1882
01:41:03,760 --> 01:41:05,250
- For what?
- For what?
1883
01:41:05,400 --> 01:41:07,209
For putting you through all this.
1884
01:41:07,360 --> 01:41:09,249
Hey, I love you.
1885
01:41:09,440 --> 01:41:11,602
I love you too, Fred.
1886
01:41:12,240 --> 01:41:13,287
It's not your fault.
1887
01:41:13,440 --> 01:41:14,441
- Yes, it is.
- No.
1888
01:41:14,600 --> 01:41:17,410
This is all my fault. I'm the
one that caused all of this.
1889
01:41:17,560 --> 01:41:20,291
- Every single bit of this.
- "Horny old man"?
1890
01:41:20,440 --> 01:41:23,364
No. No, that's not me. No,
that was intended for Rick.
1891
01:41:24,920 --> 01:41:27,651
- Oh.
- Yeah. Yeah.
1892
01:41:27,800 --> 01:41:29,882
We need to talk about
what happened this week.
1893
01:41:30,040 --> 01:41:32,486
Oh, Grace, no, no. Come
on, do we really have to?
1894
01:41:32,640 --> 01:41:34,642
We really, really do.
1895
01:41:36,280 --> 01:41:40,080
Okay, look. Look, whatever happened
this week doesn't matter. Okay?
1896
01:41:40,280 --> 01:41:41,770
Because I love you and only you.
1897
01:41:41,960 --> 01:41:45,806
And I am gonna treat you like the queen
that you are for the rest of your days.
1898
01:41:45,960 --> 01:41:48,770
Okay? I'm gonna quit
fantasy football this year.
1899
01:41:48,920 --> 01:41:53,005
Even though I have the first pick. And
we can do that Master Cleanse thing...
1900
01:41:53,160 --> 01:41:57,563
...with the cayenne pepper and all that shit.
You will never have to shovel snow again.
1901
01:41:57,720 --> 01:42:00,291
I'll do it, okay? Tennis
elbow be damned. I will do it.
1902
01:42:00,440 --> 01:42:02,010
But please, I am begging you...
1903
01:42:02,160 --> 01:42:05,846
...can we please just never, ever
talk about what happened this week?
1904
01:42:08,160 --> 01:42:10,322
- Um...
- Please.
1905
01:42:12,040 --> 01:42:13,530
Deal. Ha, ha.
1906
01:42:13,680 --> 01:42:15,921
- Really?
- Yeah.
1907
01:42:16,320 --> 01:42:17,446
Thank you.
1908
01:42:17,600 --> 01:42:19,090
Oh, thank you.
1909
01:42:19,240 --> 01:42:20,480
Oh, my God.
1910
01:42:20,640 --> 01:42:21,926
Oh, I love you, Grace.
1911
01:42:22,400 --> 01:42:24,289
- I love you too, Fred.
- Oh, God.
1912
01:42:27,000 --> 01:42:32,928
Does this mean that you will finally come
with me to An Evening With Kathy Griffin?
1913
01:42:35,840 --> 01:42:38,207
Last night, I fake-chowed a DJ's mom.
1914
01:43:17,200 --> 01:43:19,521
Let's talk about Miley Cyrus.
Who's got a stripper pole?
1915
01:43:21,200 --> 01:43:23,202
Oh, yes.
1916
01:43:23,360 --> 01:43:26,091
Fred, that is fantastic.
1917
01:43:26,240 --> 01:43:27,241
What's that?
1918
01:43:27,400 --> 01:43:30,244
Where did you find the
Kathy Griffin look-alike?
1919
01:43:30,400 --> 01:43:33,006
Oh, no. No, that is Kathy Griffin.
1920
01:43:33,600 --> 01:43:35,921
The Teen Awards, where
she went down there.
1921
01:43:36,080 --> 01:43:38,242
And then the dads in the
audience, they're all clapping.
1922
01:43:39,640 --> 01:43:40,801
Really?
1923
01:43:40,960 --> 01:43:43,770
Better be. Cost me 275
bucks to get her here.
1924
01:43:44,360 --> 01:43:45,600
Plus bus fare.
1925
01:43:46,080 --> 01:43:47,923
Kathy Griffin's a delight, isn't she?
1926
01:43:48,080 --> 01:43:49,764
I've never seen them look happier.
1927
01:43:49,920 --> 01:43:52,002
- Who's that, dear?
- Maggie and Grace.
1928
01:43:52,640 --> 01:43:56,929
You know, I've been wondering if
maybe I should give you a hall pass.
1929
01:43:58,840 --> 01:44:00,126
That was amazing.
1930
01:44:00,280 --> 01:44:04,126
Thank you. It's nice finally to meet a
woman who's not obsessed with penis size.
1931
01:44:04,280 --> 01:44:05,884
I appreciate that.
1932
01:44:06,560 --> 01:44:08,210
- What the fuck is this?
- My husband!
1933
01:44:08,360 --> 01:44:10,124
Why are you with my wife?
1934
01:44:10,280 --> 01:44:12,521
- I've got hall pass. I have a hall pass.
- He's got a gun!
1935
01:44:12,720 --> 01:44:13,767
Aah!
1936
01:44:17,200 --> 01:44:20,204
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
What if the cops question me?
1937
01:44:20,600 --> 01:44:21,726
I'm weak.
1938
01:44:26,520 --> 01:44:31,003
Excuse me? Have you
seen my granddaughter?
1939
01:44:37,640 --> 01:44:39,563
Dude, up here.
1940
01:44:39,720 --> 01:44:43,486
That was fucking awesome.
We saw the whole thing.
1941
01:44:46,800 --> 01:44:49,610
This is racial profiling! I
wanna speak to a barrister!
1942
01:44:57,960 --> 01:45:00,088
So, what do you think?
1943
01:45:01,760 --> 01:45:03,842
Yeah. We'll give it a whirl. Why not?
1944
01:49:28,120 --> 01:49:33,206
Tonight's the night we'll make history
1945
01:49:33,360 --> 01:49:36,011
Honey, you and I
1946
01:49:39,560 --> 01:49:41,767
'Cause I'll take any risk
1947
01:49:41,920 --> 01:49:46,926
To tie back the hands of time
1948
01:49:48,680 --> 01:49:51,809
And stay with you here tonight
1949
01:49:59,920 --> 01:50:01,445
Huh?
1950
01:50:03,720 --> 01:50:05,085
Excuse me.
1951
01:50:05,800 --> 01:50:06,881
What are you doing?
1952
01:50:07,720 --> 01:50:09,768
It's not what you think. I swear.
1953
01:50:09,960 --> 01:50:11,564
I was just giving him a faux job.
1954
01:50:11,720 --> 01:50:12,767
Yeah. A what?
1955
01:50:13,480 --> 01:50:15,005
A faux job.
1956
01:50:15,560 --> 01:50:18,370
When you go south on a guy,
but you don't use your mouth...
1957
01:50:18,520 --> 01:50:22,650
...you use your hands instead, and
then you make loud slurping noises.
1958
01:50:27,960 --> 01:50:29,086
Hmm.
1959
01:50:29,240 --> 01:50:31,163
Okay. Have en good night.
1960
01:50:31,320 --> 01:50:34,642
- Thank you. Bye-bye.
- Yeah. Night.
1961
01:50:35,320 --> 01:50:37,846
- They're nice, yeah?
- Yep.
1962
01:50:48,720 --> 01:50:51,405
Yeah, you're out of breath, Stephen.
1963
01:50:53,400 --> 01:50:56,609
And, action.
1964
01:50:59,280 --> 01:51:01,169
Fucking hell.
1965
01:51:02,040 --> 01:51:03,087
Wow.
1966
01:51:06,200 --> 01:51:07,361
Wow.
1967
01:51:09,040 --> 01:51:11,122
Good job, dude.
1968
01:51:11,720 --> 01:51:13,609
All right, well, good
luck finishing your movie.
1969
01:51:15,720 --> 01:51:18,166
I gotta change my drawers.
1970
01:51:19,305 --> 01:51:25,556
Craving big poker? Feast your eyes on Venom.
$5 million GTD. AmericasCardroom.com156051