All language subtitles for Greys.Anatomy.S15E14.HDTV.x264-KILLERS.VO

Pharmaceuticals are designed to mimic

the body's natural brain chemicals...

the ones that make you feel good,

make you feel better,
make you feel unstoppable.

3-0 tie, please.

How long do you think it'll take

before I'm ready to do a 24-hour surgery?

I'm not sure that's
a healthy life goal, Qadri.

Hey.

What's going on?

Mer's doing a pancreas-sparing
total duodenectomy

in a frozen abdomen.

Oh. It got moved from yesterday?

No, she started it yesterday.

Five more hours, and she's gonna
break the hospital's record

for the longest surgery.

You think it's gonna take
five more hours?

Well, I mean, with the adhesions
and the scar tissue,

it's taking her longer, so, yeah.

She can beat the record.

- Feel a little better?
- No.

I mean, yeah, she gets awards
and prizes and all that,

but I get to be chief, so we're good.

They make it in a lab and put
it in a pill for pain relief,

giving you the high
your body creates naturally

anytime you're doing something you love.

Helm.

You want to tap out?

No, thank you.

- DeLuca?
- No, thank you. I'm good.

Think he could use a break, though.

When I said "breakfast,"

I meant more of a place where we sit,

someone takes our order,
there's less... lion jaws.

No. Um... pointed reduction clamp.

I let interns assist on hip replacements

once they're prepared.

I don't dish out special favors.

At work.

Neck osteotomy's done.

Now we got to get into the femoral canal.

What's the next step?

Okay, first, I'll do a ream.

And what would you use?

I think the Christmas Tree Reamer.

Let's do actual breakfast on Thursday.

I'll make French toast.

Why are you holding toilet paper?

It's the most important camping supply.

Oh, God. Why's your face like that?

I, uh...

O-Our weekend away is camping?

Yeah. Babe, what did
you think Glen Rock was?

"Sounds fancy, but I deserve it"?

I mean, of all the campsites I went to,

yeah, I guess it's the fanciest.

It did have running water.

But no toilet paper, so no...

Toilets.

Okay, so, right. Where do we go...

I packed a small shovel.

And there are these really nice
rocks. They're great.

You just kind of move over them,
kind of, as you...

Look, it's camping, babe.

We're going camping.

Are we, though?

Ohh! You're gonna love it!

This is Tom Koracick?
The one who works here?

I was surprised, too.
But it's, you know...

I don't know. It's new, and it's...

it's just kind of... amazing.

Look, I definitely
didn't expect to be dating

at 30 weeks pregnant,
but he's kind and fun,

and he's kinda wow.

- Huh.
- I know.

How about you and Ben,

now that he's back home? Watch out!

Slow down! This is a hospital!

Get out! Go, go, go!

- Oh, my...
- Go, go, go, go!

Hey, Bailey, pinpoint pupils!

Yeah. Get some Narcan,
a crash cart, and some O2.

I think we got an OD.

Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

I thought you'd be in O.R. 3.

I've been busy.

This boy's buddies almost ran me
over in the ambulance bay.

Tossed him out of the car.

Opioid overdose.

Why? What's going on in O.R. 3?

Grey's been in surgery since yesterday.

Quite a crowd.

Bailey, we got two more.

Two more overdoses?

Mm-hmm. Jerry and Paula. Regulars.

Always shooting up
in the park down the street.

They usually wake up
with one dose of Narcan

and then refuse treatment,

but I've already given them three
doses, and they're not responding.

There's a bad batch
of something out there.

Attention, all units.
We've reached Code Red status.

Any available unit, please
report to Meridien Park

for multiple suspected overdose events.

Looks like I'll be
seeing a lot of you today.

Okay, listen up.

This is gonna be
an all-hands-on-deck situation.

Let's page on-call personnel.

Let's make sure that we got
all the Narcan from the pharmacy

to reverse the opioids.

We need to be prepared
for secondary injuries

and side effects.

Wait a minute.
Where are all my residents?

Uh, they're in Grey's gallery.

I'll make sure they get down here.

- Okay.
- What about Hunt?

Um, he's, uh...

He's saying goodbye to Leo.
Betty's parents are taking him.

Oh. Um...

I'm sorry to hear about that,
but this is a mass OD.

Yep. Okay. We'll page him.

Get your shoe on.

Okay. Get your shoe on.

Your mom got this for him.
Do you want to keep it or...

No, no. That's his favorite.

We were gonna... We were gonna
watch him grow up.

We were gonna teach him so many things.

Well...

Listen.

I, um...

I hope you play soccer.

I hope you love your life.

Wait, wait. Yours makes mine
sound shallow.

Yeah. You should probably go again.

Yeah. Um...

Listen.

I'm always gonna be rooting for you.

Okay. Ready?

No.

But they're good people, Owen,
and they love him.

He will be loved.

Hey.

Come in.

So, uh... may I?

Oh. Uh, sorry.

Yeah. Here.

Hi!

Ohh!

When he gets fussy like that,
he's usually just hungry.

- We've raised one before.
- It's okay.

Right.

E.R. 911. All hands on deck.

So, we are, uh...
very grateful to you both.

- I have to go.
- Owen...

Listen, it's a massive
incoming trauma. I have to go.

I'll just, um...

Do you want to feed him
while I finish packing him up?

Yeah, that'd be great.

Whoopsie!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Okay, everybody slow down.

Speak to your team calmly, get
what they need, and handle it.

With this many people,
communication is key.

- What do you got?
- He was responding

until about two minutes ago, when
he started hypoventilating again.

Get him on a Narcan drip.

Bailey, how's it going?

It's worse outside than it is in here.

And too many teenagers.

I'm aware that I sound like my mother,

but is the world going to Hell
in a handbasket?

Uh, 0.4 of Narcan.

All right. Bailey, you got this?

I'm gonna go to the ambulance bay

and see if I can get it under control.

Teddy, I'll do it.

Owen. Look, I'm sorry.

I-I wasn't gonna page you, but...

No, no, no. Better here than at home.

Okay.

Hey.

People are dropping like flies
all over the park.

Never seen anything like it.

How many ODs have been called in?

50 and counting.

Whoa.

Hey, everybody! Listen up!
Here's how this is gonna go.

Three ambulances are gonna pull up.

When the patients are offloaded,
they're gonna pull out,

and then the next three
are gonna come in.

We're gonna set up a triage area,

where we're gonna assess each ambulance

and mark them with the appropriate tag.

Red tags get priority for the E.R.

Walking wounded will
be shown to the clinic,

where they're gonna be evaluated.

Thank you.

Thank you. Let's go.

Helm, tell me
about the SMA first approach.

You, uh, dissect out

the entire superior mesenteric artery

to, uh, evaluate for any...
tumor invasion.

Helm, are you in pain?

No.

I, uh...

I just, uh, shouldn't have had
so much coffee.

- Well, then go.
- No. I can hold it.

If you can, I can.

Did she have her bladder stapled?

That's not the hard part...

the achy legs, the sore feet,

the cramping back, or the bladder.

No, the hard part is that
this surgery doesn't get easier

as it goes on... it gets harder.

And her eyes and her instincts
will need to be sharper

when she finishes than when she started.

And that was yesterday.

Do you think she's part robot?

I can hear you.

I'm... so sorry.

Helm, just go. Go update the family.

Tell them that he's doing great.

And then go see
what you can do in the pit.

Thank you! Sorry. Thank you!

Hey! Dr. Hays wants to know
if he can still do that surgery.

Not if it's elective.
I want those O.R.s free.

Have you ever seen anything like this?

No. And of course it happens on a day

that Mer sets a new surgical record.

I mean, I want to be there
to cheer her on.

She has DeLuca to cheer her on.

Well, that's not a thing.
Pretty sure that's a thing.

Truman! Truman?

- Ma'am, are you okay?
- My son... Truman.

He's three years old...

He has blond hair, he's wearing
a blue shirt, I think...

All right, we'll call security...

I talked to the police.

The police are at the park, looking.

We were at the park, playing,

and suddenly there were ambulances

and police cars everywhere,

and I went to see what was going on,

and then when I turned around...

...Truman was gone,

and then, uh...

Anyway, the police
are looking in the park,

and so I thought I would come here

and see if an ambulance person
or a fireman...

- W-What's your name?
- Wendy.

- Wendy, look, we're gonna help you.
- Jo, can you take her...

I'll take her to security,
see if he's here.

- Do you have a picture of him?
- Yes. Yes.

Okay, I'll make sure she has a tele bed

to monitor for arrhythmias.

And I'll be out of town this weekend,

but I'll have Parker check
for her electrolytes

and cardiac markers,

and you just, you know, call me
if you see anything unusual.

- All right.
- If calls can even go through.

I might be completely off the grid.

You going to the moon?

I'm going camping.

Why?

'Cause Jackson loves camping
and I love Jackson.

I love Ben, but I don't love
fantasy basketball.

Therefore, I don't participate.

I'm going camping, Bailey,
and I am going to like it.

Are you, though?

All right, Qadri,
so, we're definitely looking

at a shooter's abscess.

I need to you make sure
he's got plenty of antibiotics

and get a full washout in the O.R.

And look, I know it smells bad,

but breathe out of your mouth
or something

so you don't look so overtly disgusted.

Mr. Frazier's prepped
for his hip replacement,

and Schmitt's been crushing
the saw bones sessions,

so he'll assist.

That's great, but Schmitt's
gonna have to wait.

But his technique's flawless,
and I'll be there...

I see the butterflies
floating around between you two,

and that's cool, but try
to see past them long enough

to notice the flood of patients
around you.

I postponed Mr. Frazier's surgery.

It's all hands on deck with trauma.

- Got it.
- This unlucky lady not only OD'd,

she broke both of her arms when she fell.

She needs to go to the O.R.
Schmitt can assist with that.

And tell the anesthesiologist

she's had four doses of Narcan.

Thank you so much, sir.
I won't let you down.

I am ready and prepared and...

Show me, don't tell me, Schmitt.

Interns. Am I right?

No offense.

None taken.

Out of your mouth, please.

Apneic at the scene
with erratic rhythms...

last BP, 80 over 40.

Got one patient responsive
after two doses of Narcan

and another one with decreased mentation

but responsive and talking.

He lost his pulse. Starting CPR.

Helm, your two sound good
to go to the clinic,

but keep an eye on them.

- Yes, sir.
- Let's get them inside. Come on.

What's happening?

Is s-she gonna be okay?

Get these two into the clinic.

Is she... Betty!

Betty!

Unh! 5-0.

4-0.

- What happened?
- You did it.

No, I haven't finished the anastomosis

or the lymphadenectomy.

Suture scissors, Bokhee.

Mered...

Dr. Grey, you just beat
the hospital record

for the longest single surgery.

Yeah. I guess I did.

Damn it.

What?

That just means that I'm gonna
want to break it again.

Okay, let's get ready with some lap pads.

And, uh, Bokhee, someone should
update the family.

Okay. I'm gonna tell them
their son's being saved

by a surgical legend.

Okay, don't do that.

Surgical superhero?

- No.
- Wonder Woman?

Yeah! Perfect.

Thank you, Bokhee.

Whoo!

You are.

Okay, now observe the scaphoid carefully.

What's the usual point of entry?

The distal pole.

But wait. There's a humpback deformity.

Exactly.

Can you imagine...

...wanting something so badly

that you'd be willing to
break both your arms to get it?

Well, she didn't mean to break her arms.

Yeah, I know. I'm just...

I broke both my arms once.

You did?

Couldn't wipe my own butt
all summer. It was the worst.

But the new X-Men comic was coming out,

and I had to have it.

Like, had to be first in line
because, in my world,

that was the only thing
worth bragging about.

Fell off your bike?

Flipped over the handlebars...
one block from the store.

I got two months in casts,
three months of PT.

And Robbie Freaking Krimefelt
got bragging rights.

So yeah.

I get wanting something so bad
you'd be willing to...

Whoa. You just...

All right.

She's all good.

And with no hands to shoot up
for the next three months,

hopefully, she'll actually
manage to detox.

Dr. Mahoney to the E.R.

Dr. Mahoney to the E.R.

Hey.

Tell me she found that kid.

No. Security's on it.

I'm worried about her.
Her BP's through the roof.

She is so scared.

Excuse me.

I found him in the park...
kind of shook up.

Truman!

I'm gonna...

Mommy!

Thank you.

I saw him wandering,

and I thought, well,
everybody's coming here.

Uh... yeah.

Let... Let us get you some food
and some shoes, maybe.

No. Unh-unh.

No, please. We got to
take a look at those feet.

Uh, Qadri, could you help this gentleman?

Yeah.

So, she's all right, then? That lady?

Oh, yeah. She's...
She's fine, thanks to you.

She was scared out of her mind.

No, I mean from the park.

I saw her passed out
on the bench out there

with the rest of them junkies.

I want to go.

Can we go? Can you get our clothes?

Okay, yeah. Sure. I just...
I want to make sure you're okay.

I want to go.

I don't want Amelia to see me here.

I-I don't want to put her
through that again.

- O-Okay.
- Linus, please, can we...

Hey. Hey!

Hey! Help! I need help!

Hey. It's okay.

She was just talking.

She wasn't complaining
of anything when she came in.

Well, she's complaining now.

- It hurts!
- What did she take? I need to know.

Meth.

We smoked some meth before
the batch of pills came 'round.

280 over 145.

Okay, I need a gurney!

Out of my way.

Out of my way!

I got a hypertensive emergency here.

Took meth and opioids

and whatever they were laced with.

Clear a trauma room now!

7-0 tube.

Helm said she was stable when
she landed. This just happened.

What's happening? Is she okay?

- Who's that?
- No idea. Boyfriend?

Get him out of here. I've got this.

No! I need to be with Betty, all right?

- I love her. I love her. Please.
- Get him out of here!

I need to be with her!
She's afraid to be alone!

Dude, let me help you. Let them help her.

Go.

- How can I help?
- She needs to be ruled out

of multi-organ damage, hypertensive ICH.

I've started her on a clevidipine drip.

Hunt, you need to step away.

We need that X-ray in here now!

Let me do this!

Just... call Amelia.

Tell her that Betty's back.

We don't need her to
flip her car trying to get here.

Richard, please.

I need to be with Betty.

No, you need hydration,
and we need to observe...

One of the first nights at rehab,

Betty was telling me
what she's scared of.

I-I-It was blood,
being home alone in the dark,

falling into a frozen lake,

a-and she was scared
that for the rest of her life,

she'd have to tell people

that her dealer got her pregnant at 15.

And who would love her then?

But I did. All right?

And I do.

And I told her that one day,
we'd get a house

and that we could
keep the lights on all the time

and we'd be nowhere near a lake

and that no matter what,
I would love her.

No matter what. You have
to save her... please.

Betty's getting the help she needs.

I'll... get you an update
as soon as I can.

Okay, Ralph, I've paged a plastic surgeon

to come take a look
at these skin lesions.

I don't have any shoes,
but I'm getting plastic surgery.

And I'll need a urine sample.

What for?

We just need to run a tox screen.

Oh, that's unnecessary.

I don't do drugs or drink alcohol.

I just make my home in the park.

I'm not like them.

They're bringing down
the neighborhood, you ask me.

Do you have... anywhere else
that you could stay?

A temporary shelter?

No. They got more people
than they got beds.

They set a limit
on how many nights you can stay.

I maxed out months ago.

I never thought I'd be
calling a park bench my home,

but rent control went out,
and I went out with it.

- Qadri, what do we have?
- This is Mr. Tennyson.

He's got ulcerations and eschars
on the dorsums of his feet.

Mr. Tennyson, this is Dr. Avery.
He's our head of plastics.

You don't want to give me
a nose job, do you?

No, sir. Your nose is perfect.

I would like to take a look
at these feet, though.

Qadri, face.

She's got a widened mediastinum,

and with the meth and opioids...

You're worried
about an aortic dissection.

Mm-hmm.

It's a known complication of meth.

She's got the classic signs.

- Hey. Where is she?
- Amelia...

Well, is she hurt or just high?
Richard said...

Listen, I didn't want you to panic,

but we received some patients
from Meridien Park,

and they all OD'd from the same drug...

She OD'd? Is she okay?

You brought them here?

They were still at the house.

- That's Britney.
- Britney?

Oh, my God. What happened?
Is she hurt? I need to see her. Move.

You can't go in there. You can't go...

Oh, my God. You had to intubate her?

- You can't go in there right now...
- That is our daughter!

Yeah, and I'm her doctor, okay? So...

Okay, everyone calm down
and let Dr. Altman do her work.

You too, Hunt.

Okay, just tell us what happened.

She, uh, complained about chest pain,

and it looks like
she's had an aortic dissection.

We're prepping her
for the O.R. right now.

Surgery?

We're gonna call Pierce,
we're gonna meet her there.

- I'm gonna do it.
- No, no. You have an entire E.R...

- Bailey can handle it.
- No. I'm gonna call Pierce...

We don't have time to wait for Pierce.

Owen, let her do it.

Okay.

Well, I'm gonna go, too.

Uh, Dr. Hunt, now,
you can help out in the pit,

or you can sit in the chair
with the other parents,

but you will not step one foot
in that O.R.

All right, here we go.

All right. Watch the baby, please.

Here we come.

Thank you. Hold the elevator!

I don't understand
why you took him. He was fine.

Because he was out of your sight
for a little while,

so we just needed to check him out.

He'll be back soon.

You know, let me... let me
take your blood pressure again.

I'm fine!

And so is he.

We should just be able to go.

Okay.

Stuart?

Oh, my God!

Honey, they didn't need to call you.

We just had a little scare.

Wendy, tell me what the hell is going on.

I just...

Rita gave me some pills once,
from her back surgery,

just... to relax me.

You were in the park to buy drugs?

You took Truman with you to buy drugs?

I couldn't leave him alone in the car.

Please, Stuart. I'm sorry.

I love him. I love him.

I love him! You have to forgive me!

Can you take me to my son, please?

Please.

It's a lot, right?

This is one of those days
where being a doctor is...

It feels futile.

It's, like, we're in here

doing our damnedest
to save lives, and out there,

people are just
killing themselves or each other

faster than we can possibly work, so...

...what's the point?

Where would you go?

If you just... gave it all up?

Um...

You know, when it all seems hopeless,

what's your secret fantasy escape hatch?

Went to Barbados once.

It was a bunch of expats...
started a Blues bar.

Tiny little shack
but incredible guitar players.

Waves... rum... sand...

quiet.

You?

Right now, that sounds...

pretty great, actually.

What the...

What's...

- Oh, my God. Son of a bitch!
- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, no.

Here.

Got to get down here.

I came as soon as I heard...

Type B dissection?

I'm gonna do an endovascular
stent of the descending aorta.

Webber's on his way up to join.

Thank you. I know you've been
swamped down in the pit.

I can take it from here.

- No.
- No?

She's so pale, I can see
every capillary under her skin.

That dissection could
cause her aorta to rupture.

You know as well I do
that Amelia may never see

that little girl open her eyes again.

- Teddy...
- And if that happens,

let me be the surgeon
to tell Amelia that we lost her.

Because she's gonna need her sister.

You are so close.

Tell me something.

Okay. What?

Just anything.

Because all I can think about right now

is how much my feet and my legs hurt,

so if you tell me something,
I can think about that instead.

Um, okay.

Uh, when I was seven years old,
I broke a world record.

For what?

Most times a minor rode
a roller coaster in one day.

Really? How many times did you ride it?

12.

I-I didn't really break a world record,

but for several years,
I believed that I did.

You're an artist.

And I think it didn't occur to me

because you're also a work of art.

Physically.

Like a statue in Rome.

And when I look at you,

surgery isn't what springs to mind.

But that...

...in there...

I want to be that good.

You'll get there.

And you're also good at a lot of things.

So much better than a comic book.

Couldn't get him back.

He was my patient.

I left him sitting in a bed
with an IV in his arm.

Perfectly healthy kid.

Dr. Shepherd?

Are you okay?

Do you want to take a break, take a walk?

I knew him.

That kid.

He was, uh...

He was a good kid.

He wasn't a bad kid.

I'm gonna have to call his parents.

I can take care of that.

No.

No, I'm...

Thank you.

I'm so sorry.

It's... It's okay.

I'm so sorry.

Great work, Qadri.

You want to cut away all that dead tissue

till we find healthy bleeding.

Almost done.

So I get to keep 'em?

You do get to keep them.

Can I talk to you?

Yeah, of course.

I can't go camping this weekend.

Babe, see, the thing is you think

you can't go camping this weekend, okay?

But once we get out there,

you're gonna find it breathtaking.

And you will realize all the
things we don't need in life...

just how much we don't need, okay?

When you're sitting there
by a fire crackling,

one bowl, one spoon, you realize

we don't need...
three pairs of ski boots.

- You know?
- Y... No.

And don't... don't tell me
that you don't ski.

I know you don't ski,
because it's outdoors,

but that's probably because your parents

didn't take you outdoors,
but when I do, you will see.

Okay? Just let me show you, please? Okay?

Okay. Backing up...

Mm-hmm.

Betty is in the hospital.

She OD'd.

Amelia's gonna need help, so...

So you cannot go camping this weekend.

My bad.

I'm sorry.

You should still go, though.

Aw. That's too bad.

Ah, it's okay.

Next time.

Okay, so, we're almost finished here.

I'll get you bandaged up.

It's important that you keep
this clean and dry, okay?

That'll be tricky.

Ralph lives in the park.

He brought in a little missing boy today.

Oh.

The park. Okay, I hadn't...
realized that.

It's okay.

Makes you realize
all the things you don't need.

Dr. Teller to the E.R.

Dr. Teller to the E.R.

Mr. Cole.

The police have taken your wife
into custody and...

Good. The police can have her.

Sir, your wife has a problem.
She needs treatment.

She needs that more than punishment.

I don't know what I can do for her.

No, you're right. Don't worry about her.

Worry about him.

And no matter what she says,
you don't just forgive her.

You don't let her near him
until you know she's clean.

Yes, get her treatment,
but protect your kid.

You got me?

Protect your kid.

Okay, let's shoot the angio.

No endoleaks, stent-grafts
are well-approximated.

Aortic arch is clear.

There's no flow from the celiac.

Let's shoot from the femoral.

Dye.

Higher concentration of dye.

God, I hate that she did this to herself.

That's addiction...
the thing that's killing you

keeps whispering in your ear
that you need it to survive.

There's no flow from either end.

Her distal aorta is blocked.

Which means there's no blood flow

to the distal extremities.

Damn it! Damn it!

Altman, if there's
any extraordinary measures

you can use here, please use them now.

Okay. Take everything out.

We're gonna have to open her up

and reconstruct
her distal aorta completely

if we're gonna save her life.

Let me have a pad.

All right, let's prep her abdomen!

Let's go. Come on.

Come on, Betty. Come on.

I can't even stand to look at you.

That's the last thing I said
to her before she disappeared.

"I can't even stand to look at you."

Now...

Tell us that she's gonna be okay.

I mean, you're doctors. Just...

...tell us that she's gonna
get through this.

I wish I could.

I wish I could tell you that.

DeLuca, you'll place the wound vac.

Okay.

Final time... 27 hours and 8 minutes.

That beats the hospital's
old record by over three hours.

Whoo!

Thank you for the assist, Dr. DeLuca.

I am going to go put my feet
in medical waste,

so I definitely need a ride home.

Amelia needs us.

It's Betty.

She's gonna need us.

Mr. and Mrs. Dickinson?

She's out of surgery.

She's being moved up to the ICU.

Oh, thank God.

That means... she made it, right?

Yeah.

I think that's what that means.

Come here.

This world is so scary.

No matter how well you raise your kids,

no matter how much give them,

it's a scary, scary world.

Yeah.

It is.

- But it's beautiful, too.
- Mm.

And if you descend into the fear
and miss the beauty,

that's when you start to go
to a bad place

and need to... escape.

I'm not gonna start using drugs.

Yeah, I know.

But... just...

be in the beauty with me for a second.

And you don't have room
for one... just one more?

He's a 75-year-old m...

His f...

Mm-hmm.

Y... Yeah. I...

No, I understand.

Thank you.

No luck?

It should not be this difficult

to find a place to stay
for an elderly man.

No, it shouldn't.

I feel awful.

I mean, I was going on and on
about how we can't decide

whether we should stay inside or outside,

- and I've got too many...
- Ski boots.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

And I spent all day debriding his feet,

and there's no way he can
maintain a follow-up protocol

on a park bench.

I would say just cook his chart
and keep him another night,

but then where is he gonna go
tomorrow night?

Owen took Leo to daycare

so that you could focus on Britney.

So, how are we gonna tell her?

About her... boyfriend?

How are we gonna tell her?

We don't tell her.

What?

No.

We don't tell her.

I'm afraid something like that,
that would kill her.

That kind of... news could...

it could kill her.

My fiancé died.

Um... years ago.

He died in bed beside me.

He OD'd.

I thought it would kill me, too.

But instead, it saved my life.

Because I decided to live.

I decided to live because he died.

You can't protect her from this.

You can't protect her from the pain

that she is going to feel.

But you can hope...

that this is her bottom.

I...

God, I hope this is her bottom.

I hope this gets her clean.

I hope that she decides to live.

Please decide to live.

Honey, please decide to live.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Yeah, whatever you want.

It's not much, but it's enough
to keep you warm and dry

till you get off the waitlist
for a real place.

Dry socks here, long underwear,
lightweight tent,

a sleeping bag, a couple raincoats,

and a pair of shoes for you

once the swelling goes down a bit.

You had all this...
just in the trunk of your car?

Yeah.

Yeah, I did.

You were left in a park, right?

When you were three.

By your junkie dad.

Bar parking lot.

And I was six.

I wish I'd been three.

Then I wouldn't have remembered
that he left me there.

Jo, it's too late for coffee.

It's hot chocolate.

I am not a kid anymore.

Oh.

I am the chief.

Mmm. Yeah, that's good.

It's really good.

I love you.

I love you.

They call it a high for a reason.

Because the flip side is really low.

Mom?

I'm here.

I'm here.

The chemical version
isn't worth what comes after.

But the dopamine rush
from a job well done?

That's free.

And it's one of the very best
parts of being alive.