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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:10,534 Aren't you curious about who bought our old house? 2 00:00:10,534 --> 00:00:12,267 How come you're so obsessed with this. 3 00:00:12,267 --> 00:00:14,000 It's where we grew up. 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,367 I'm just surprised 5 00:00:15,367 --> 00:00:17,868 That you don't have any feelings for it at all. 6 00:00:17,868 --> 00:00:20,033 Well, god, it's not like 7 00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:22,534 It's the first mcdonald's or something. 8 00:00:22,534 --> 00:00:23,801 Look at that-- 9 00:00:23,801 --> 00:00:25,667 Final notice from my insurance company. 10 00:00:25,667 --> 00:00:28,667 Well, good. I was sick of hearing from them. 11 00:00:30,467 --> 00:00:31,667 Well... 12 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,400 It's special. It's our house. 13 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:36,968 Hey, Jackie, you forget. 14 00:00:36,968 --> 00:00:39,167 Ever since dad sold that house, 15 00:00:39,167 --> 00:00:40,467 It's also become home 16 00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:43,467 To three other dysfunctional families. 17 00:00:43,467 --> 00:00:44,968 I'm going to change. 18 00:00:44,968 --> 00:00:46,000 Hey. 19 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,367 Hey. 20 00:00:47,367 --> 00:00:48,367 Hey. 21 00:00:48,367 --> 00:00:49,434 Hey! 22 00:00:49,434 --> 00:00:51,267 What? 23 00:00:51,267 --> 00:00:53,701 What are you doing upstairs with some boy? 24 00:00:53,701 --> 00:00:55,667 Well, no one was home, 25 00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:58,200 So I figured, "why not become a woman?" 26 00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:02,000 Cut it out, Darlene. 27 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,934 She's not a woman, Mrs.. Conner. 28 00:01:03,934 --> 00:01:05,234 Nothing was going on. 29 00:01:05,234 --> 00:01:08,734 Excuse me. I'm waiting for her to lie to me. 30 00:01:08,734 --> 00:01:11,133 I don't have to explain myself to you. 31 00:01:11,133 --> 00:01:13,534 Yes you do. See how big I am? 32 00:01:13,534 --> 00:01:16,434 We were working on this. It's a comic book. 33 00:01:16,434 --> 00:01:19,434 I do the drawings. She writes the words. 34 00:01:19,434 --> 00:01:20,601 Don't show her. 35 00:01:20,601 --> 00:01:23,167 This is what you were working on? 36 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,300 Yes. 37 00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:26,067 Zombies eating people's brains? 38 00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:29,334 Well, it's not done yet. 39 00:01:29,334 --> 00:01:31,467 Yeah, but I see what it's saying. 40 00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:33,968 It's saying that you were not upstairs 41 00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,400 Groping my daughter. 42 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,968 I like it. 43 00:01:38,033 --> 00:01:40,033 I'm going to take off. 44 00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,133 I'll see you at school tomorrow. 45 00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:43,133 You're going? 46 00:01:43,133 --> 00:01:44,934 Yeah, I guess. 47 00:01:44,934 --> 00:01:46,834 All right. Me, too. 48 00:01:49,467 --> 00:01:52,968 Can you believe her? She just had to embarrass me. 49 00:01:52,968 --> 00:01:55,534 Well, you got to understand, Darlene. 50 00:01:55,534 --> 00:01:57,667 That's not just any guy there. 51 00:01:57,667 --> 00:01:59,067 That's Mark's brother. 52 00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:00,567 That's not his fault. 53 00:02:00,567 --> 00:02:02,934 Maybe she'll see that eventually. 54 00:02:02,934 --> 00:02:04,767 Look at these drawings. 55 00:02:04,767 --> 00:02:07,434 Oh, yeah. These are great. 56 00:02:07,434 --> 00:02:10,434 You guys put a lot of time in on this. 57 00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:11,934 Yeah. A couple of weeks. 58 00:02:11,934 --> 00:02:15,000 I think of the story, and he draws it. 59 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,501 We're totally in sync. 60 00:02:16,501 --> 00:02:19,467 We've got a couple more stories worked out. 61 00:02:19,467 --> 00:02:22,067 It's going to be a whole series. 62 00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:25,234 They're not just comic books. They're graphic novels. 63 00:02:28,434 --> 00:02:29,901 What? 64 00:02:29,901 --> 00:02:33,334 Oh, it's just great to see you like this, Darlene. 65 00:02:33,334 --> 00:02:35,534 You know, excited about something. 66 00:02:35,534 --> 00:02:36,601 Oh, man. 67 00:02:36,601 --> 00:02:39,467 I mean, ever since you quit basketball-- 68 00:02:39,467 --> 00:02:40,534 Stop it. 69 00:02:40,534 --> 00:02:42,567 All right. Can I read it? 70 00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:44,100 I guess. 71 00:02:49,033 --> 00:02:52,367 I'm just so proud of you! 72 00:02:53,801 --> 00:02:55,834 That's quite enough. 73 00:04:11,601 --> 00:04:13,567 Todd's fish died today. 74 00:04:13,567 --> 00:04:15,234 That's a shame. Was he sad? 75 00:04:15,234 --> 00:04:17,367 Yeah, but he felt better 76 00:04:17,367 --> 00:04:19,501 After we put it in the street 77 00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:21,567 And watch a car smash it. 78 00:04:24,434 --> 00:04:26,400 D.J., we're eating. 79 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:30,133 So, beck, you're going out with Mark on saturday, huh? 80 00:04:30,133 --> 00:04:33,467 Jackie! I said we're eating. 81 00:04:33,467 --> 00:04:36,734 Well, it's not a date. He wants to talk. 82 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,634 That can be pretty tough 83 00:04:38,634 --> 00:04:40,901 With his tongue crammed down your throat. 84 00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:43,234 Darlene, it's over between us. 85 00:04:43,234 --> 00:04:45,400 But I think he misses me 86 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,834 And wants to come crawling back. 87 00:04:48,834 --> 00:04:51,601 That's it. I'm not hungry at all anymore. 88 00:04:51,601 --> 00:04:55,701 Then how come he didn't ask you out for friday night? 89 00:04:55,701 --> 00:04:57,167 What do you mean? 90 00:04:57,167 --> 00:04:58,734 Well, you've got to wonder 91 00:04:58,734 --> 00:05:00,567 What other moron he's crawling to. 92 00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,601 Did you hear something from david? 93 00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:04,667 Is he going out with somebody else? 94 00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:07,868 Do you care? It's over between you and baghead. 95 00:05:07,868 --> 00:05:10,100 Well, it is. I don't care. 96 00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:13,400 Good. Nobody cares. New topic. 97 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,334 Oh, look. Daddy's home. 98 00:05:15,334 --> 00:05:17,434 We'll talk about daddy. 99 00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:18,868 Sorry I'm late. 100 00:05:18,868 --> 00:05:22,200 I got to talking with Mark at the shop. 101 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,234 Really? What did he say? 102 00:05:24,234 --> 00:05:25,367 It wasn't about you. 103 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:28,067 He said david cut school the other day 104 00:05:28,067 --> 00:05:29,467 And went to Chicago. 105 00:05:29,467 --> 00:05:31,801 He ratted out his own brother. 106 00:05:31,801 --> 00:05:34,133 I think he was proud of the kid. 107 00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:36,601 But you're not hanging around with david 108 00:05:36,601 --> 00:05:37,968 If he's pulling this crap. 109 00:05:37,968 --> 00:05:40,033 How come he was in Chicago? 110 00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:42,000 How should I know? 111 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,868 Something about a comic book convention. 112 00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:47,701 Comic book convention, huh? 113 00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:51,667 'Cause you know I can call the school 114 00:05:51,667 --> 00:05:54,100 And find out if you ditched, too. 115 00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:56,400 The convention was only there for two days. 116 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,834 You went to Chicago with him? 117 00:05:57,834 --> 00:05:59,834 It's not a big deal out of this. 118 00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:01,234 Oh, I am going to make 119 00:06:01,234 --> 00:06:03,334 A huge deal out of this! 120 00:06:03,334 --> 00:06:07,567 You get up for school and wind up in Chicago? 121 00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:10,033 We don't even know? Something could have happened! 122 00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:12,501 How could you do something so stupid? 123 00:06:12,501 --> 00:06:14,434 We took the bus. Nothing happened. 124 00:06:14,434 --> 00:06:17,234 Till now. You're grounded. You are so grounded. 125 00:06:17,234 --> 00:06:19,601 And don't think you're just laying around. 126 00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:21,501 You'll do something useful. 127 00:06:21,501 --> 00:06:23,033 And you'll hate it. 128 00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:25,400 Or else we'll think of something 129 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,667 Even more useful. 130 00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:29,934 Doesn't anybody want to know why we went? 131 00:06:29,934 --> 00:06:32,100 You're not seeing david no more. 132 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,868 Because of him you lied, 133 00:06:33,868 --> 00:06:36,467 You went to Chicago, and you skipped school. 134 00:06:36,467 --> 00:06:38,300 You need more? 135 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,367 The convention was important to us. 136 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:42,167 We're serious about this stuff. 137 00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:45,467 You can do better than that, Darlene. 138 00:06:49,434 --> 00:06:51,200 I can't believe this. 139 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,334 So did Mark say where he was going 140 00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:03,834 After he left the shop? 141 00:07:11,367 --> 00:07:13,534 Hey, can I have some of that chocolate? 142 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:17,334 No, D.J. It's baker's chocolate. You won't like it. 143 00:07:17,334 --> 00:07:18,334 Please? 144 00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:20,767 It doesn't have any sugar in it. 145 00:07:20,767 --> 00:07:23,701 Come on. It won't spoil my dinner. 146 00:07:23,701 --> 00:07:25,200 O.k. Go for it. 147 00:07:29,267 --> 00:07:31,167 Eew! It's awful! 148 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,067 Well, I guess that's a lesson 149 00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:38,434 Every kid's got to learn once, huh? 150 00:07:38,434 --> 00:07:39,701 Are you kidding? 151 00:07:39,701 --> 00:07:42,868 He does that every single time I bake a cake. 152 00:07:42,868 --> 00:07:44,367 Hey. 153 00:07:44,367 --> 00:07:45,501 Hi, Arnie. 154 00:07:45,501 --> 00:07:46,968 How are you doing, Arnie? 155 00:07:46,968 --> 00:07:48,367 I'm doing pretty good. 156 00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:51,367 Dan said I could borrow the truck, you got the keys. 157 00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:53,801 The keys are on that hook there. 158 00:07:53,801 --> 00:07:55,367 That chocolate? 159 00:07:58,801 --> 00:08:00,501 Yeah! Help yourself. 160 00:08:00,501 --> 00:08:02,167 Thanks. 161 00:08:04,834 --> 00:08:07,834 Hey, listen. I got a little problem with Nancy, 162 00:08:07,834 --> 00:08:10,467 And I know she listens to you guys. 163 00:08:10,467 --> 00:08:11,801 What's going on? 164 00:08:11,801 --> 00:08:15,100 She's driving me nuts. She's trying to change me. 165 00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,667 She says I got potential. 166 00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:23,334 Well, do you want me to set her straight, Arnie? 167 00:08:23,334 --> 00:08:26,000 Would you? 168 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,267 What are you doing with the truck? 169 00:08:28,267 --> 00:08:31,334 Mine's in the shop. The demolition crew's letting me salvage 170 00:08:31,334 --> 00:08:33,634 The copper pipes from your old place. 171 00:08:33,634 --> 00:08:34,734 Demolition? 172 00:08:34,734 --> 00:08:37,601 Yeah. They're putting up a burger heaven. 173 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,100 I can't believe this! 174 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:42,367 It's great. The whole block will smell like chili. 175 00:08:45,868 --> 00:08:47,434 You know... 176 00:08:47,434 --> 00:08:49,501 Rosie, I don't want to say nothing, 177 00:08:49,501 --> 00:08:52,934 But there's something really wrong with this stuff. 178 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,634 You know, Darlene, 179 00:09:15,634 --> 00:09:19,934 I've never seen you look as lovely as you do now. 180 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,400 I can't believe you didn't get busted, too. 181 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,767 I was. I'm in my room right now. 182 00:09:24,767 --> 00:09:28,601 When I'm ready to admit I'm wrong, I can come out. 183 00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:31,400 Oh, no! 184 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:32,667 What? 185 00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:34,701 I just found my old hamster. 186 00:09:36,467 --> 00:09:38,334 Darlene, your mom said 187 00:09:38,334 --> 00:09:41,634 You had some stuff of mine--oh, man! 188 00:09:41,634 --> 00:09:42,801 Well, you've see me. 189 00:09:42,801 --> 00:09:44,467 Now you must die. 190 00:09:45,801 --> 00:09:47,501 Get out of here! 191 00:09:47,501 --> 00:09:48,767 You won't tell anybody? 192 00:09:48,767 --> 00:09:51,067 Live in fear, david. 193 00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:52,901 I can do that. 194 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,434 Hey! Your mom catches him in here, you're dead! 195 00:09:58,434 --> 00:09:59,968 Thanks for the tip. 196 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,868 Looks like you're doing a pretty good job. 197 00:10:03,868 --> 00:10:05,467 What do you want? 198 00:10:05,467 --> 00:10:06,868 You mad at me? 199 00:10:06,868 --> 00:10:09,367 Why would I be mad at you? 200 00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:12,434 Just because you let them dump all over me? 201 00:10:12,434 --> 00:10:15,934 If you want me to say it's o.k. To go to Chicago 202 00:10:15,934 --> 00:10:17,968 Without telling anybody, I won't! 203 00:10:17,968 --> 00:10:20,400 You could have told them it was important. 204 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,400 They think this comic book convention 205 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,033 Is just some lame excuse to cut school. 206 00:10:25,033 --> 00:10:26,968 They think that me and david 207 00:10:26,968 --> 00:10:29,000 Are like Mark and Becky. 208 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,300 I couldn't say anything! 209 00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,901 You told me how great it was 210 00:10:32,901 --> 00:10:35,167 That I was finally getting into something. 211 00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:37,734 They weren't going to listen to me! 212 00:10:37,734 --> 00:10:40,234 You're right. The best thing to do 213 00:10:40,234 --> 00:10:43,300 Was to let them dump all over me. 214 00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:44,901 Darlene! 215 00:10:44,901 --> 00:10:46,634 Just leave me alone. 216 00:11:06,067 --> 00:11:08,334 Thanks for picking me up, beck. 217 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,834 Deej, where's mom? 218 00:11:10,834 --> 00:11:15,234 She went out. She said she'd be back in an hour. 219 00:11:15,234 --> 00:11:16,834 Hey, dad, 220 00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:19,300 How come Mark couldn't drive you home? 221 00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:21,634 Uh...he left early. 222 00:11:21,634 --> 00:11:23,767 Hmm. 223 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,934 Well, he usually doesn't leave early, does he? 224 00:11:26,934 --> 00:11:29,200 He did tonight. 225 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,534 Did he smell good when he left? 226 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,200 I Try not to sniff the help, Becky. 227 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,167 Well, you know what I mean. 228 00:11:38,167 --> 00:11:41,467 I don't know if he's dating anyone else, o.k.? 229 00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,601 You're with him all day. 230 00:11:43,601 --> 00:11:45,200 And he's always been a gentleman. 231 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,067 Never laid a hand on me. 232 00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:48,200 Hey. 233 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,434 What? 234 00:11:49,434 --> 00:11:51,667 Nothing. Just hey. 235 00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,534 You done out there? 236 00:11:53,534 --> 00:11:56,200 I guess that would be up to you. 237 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,467 I got an idea. 238 00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,300 Since mom's gone for a little longer, 239 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,801 Let's get a pizza. 240 00:12:01,801 --> 00:12:04,667 Darlene, what don't you want on your half? 241 00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,100 I'll have this upstairs. 242 00:12:08,734 --> 00:12:10,567 Here we go again. 243 00:12:10,567 --> 00:12:12,400 Now she'll sit in her room 244 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,100 And mope for six months. 245 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,767 She's so immature. 246 00:12:18,334 --> 00:12:19,734 Good! He's home! 247 00:12:30,234 --> 00:12:32,767 We should have asked Arnie for the key. 248 00:12:32,767 --> 00:12:35,133 Oh, we'll be in in a minute. 249 00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:36,901 Oh! 250 00:12:36,901 --> 00:12:38,767 The branch is creaking, Jackie. 251 00:12:38,767 --> 00:12:42,367 It never creaked back when we were kids. 252 00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:44,200 Well, the tree's older now, and you're... 253 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,634 Older now, too. 254 00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:51,267 Hey, we both fall at the same speed, slim. 255 00:12:51,267 --> 00:12:53,033 I'm hurrying. 256 00:12:54,267 --> 00:12:56,167 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 257 00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:59,200 All these years, nobody ever fixed that. 258 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:00,934 Oh, just get in. 259 00:13:03,701 --> 00:13:05,167 Oh... 260 00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:07,501 Nice branch. 261 00:13:08,567 --> 00:13:10,234 Good branch. 262 00:13:10,234 --> 00:13:13,734 Strong branch. 263 00:13:13,734 --> 00:13:14,934 Oh... 264 00:13:17,234 --> 00:13:18,968 Whoa! 265 00:13:18,968 --> 00:13:23,267 I just flashed on winnie the pooh and the honey tree. 266 00:13:24,767 --> 00:13:28,501 Just get me in here, all right? 267 00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:33,167 How many times do you think we did that? 268 00:13:33,167 --> 00:13:35,234 You sneaking in after seeing Dan. 269 00:13:35,234 --> 00:13:37,200 You're supposed to have been studying. 270 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,000 Oh, man. About now... 271 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,734 I'd be wondering if I remembered my underwear. 272 00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:45,267 Shh! 273 00:13:45,267 --> 00:13:47,200 You'll wake up mom and dad. 274 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,033 You were supposed to be in by 11:00. 275 00:13:50,033 --> 00:13:51,567 Well, after the party 276 00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:54,801 Me and Dan went over to his house 277 00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,868 And we had three kids. 278 00:13:56,868 --> 00:13:58,300 Don't tell mom! 279 00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:00,501 Wow... 280 00:14:00,501 --> 00:14:02,734 Our room. 281 00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:06,200 Eew. Eew, it even smells the same. 282 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,534 Yeah. 283 00:14:07,534 --> 00:14:10,200 Eew. You know that smell of burned meat 284 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,734 And oppression. 285 00:14:14,734 --> 00:14:17,467 Hey, look, Jackie. There's the vent. 286 00:14:17,467 --> 00:14:20,467 Yeah. Mom and dad never did figure out 287 00:14:20,467 --> 00:14:23,667 We could hear everything that went on in their bedroom thru that vent. 288 00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:27,434 Screaming and yelling and crying. 289 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:30,534 Yeah. We never did hear any sex... 290 00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:34,601 Unless that's what all the crying and yelling was about. 291 00:14:34,601 --> 00:14:36,667 Well, it helped us figure out 292 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,767 How bad trouble we were in. 293 00:14:38,767 --> 00:14:42,100 Five minutes before the knock on the door. 294 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:44,167 Yeah. But that was a help. 295 00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:47,667 Gave us a chance to run in and confess, 296 00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,200 Score those honesty points. 297 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,434 Yeah, or get our stories straight. 298 00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,200 You remember the week we took turns listening 299 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,234 To see if they knew about bloomington? 300 00:14:56,234 --> 00:14:58,667 Yeah, that frat party. 301 00:14:58,667 --> 00:15:01,601 We were may too mature for high school guys. 302 00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:05,734 Yeah, so we end up with these future doctors and lawyers 303 00:15:05,734 --> 00:15:08,934 Playing up, up and away on their armpits. 304 00:15:08,934 --> 00:15:11,100 Yeah. We slept in a car. 305 00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,767 What were we thinking? 306 00:15:12,767 --> 00:15:15,801 We could have gotten really hurt, you know, 307 00:15:15,801 --> 00:15:19,834 And mom and dad had no idea where we were. 308 00:15:19,834 --> 00:15:22,200 But I guess that's just the... 309 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,334 Crazy kind of stuff kids do. 310 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:31,501 Oh, gee, Jackie, 311 00:15:31,501 --> 00:15:35,234 That sounds just like what Darlene did. 312 00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:38,167 I guess I'm just no better than her. 313 00:15:38,167 --> 00:15:41,200 How could I be so blind? 314 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,334 My point exactly. 315 00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:47,501 When you remember to water your chia pet, 316 00:15:47,501 --> 00:15:51,167 You can criticize the way I raise my kids. 317 00:15:53,367 --> 00:15:54,801 Roseanne, wait. 318 00:15:55,968 --> 00:15:57,667 Come on. 319 00:15:57,667 --> 00:16:00,200 O.k., so what we did was stupid. 320 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,200 But if we would have gotten caught, 321 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,133 We would have gotten busted and deserved it. 322 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:09,634 Yes, but Darlene says that what she did was important. 323 00:16:09,634 --> 00:16:11,801 She said the same thing 324 00:16:11,801 --> 00:16:13,701 When she shaved D.J.'s head. 325 00:16:13,701 --> 00:16:16,701 The comic book thing means a lot to her. 326 00:16:16,701 --> 00:16:18,868 I Believe her, because she gave me hell 327 00:16:18,868 --> 00:16:21,000 For not sticking up for her. 328 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,300 Usually when she's mad at you, she's nice to me. 329 00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:28,000 Now we're on the same side. That just stinks. 330 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,234 O.k., so this thing is really important to her. 331 00:16:31,234 --> 00:16:34,167 I never told her to quit the comic book thing. 332 00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:38,234 You did, kind of, 'cause david does the pictures. 333 00:16:39,734 --> 00:16:41,901 O.k. O.k., I get it. 334 00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:43,634 Shut up. 335 00:16:43,634 --> 00:16:45,367 All right. You're welcome. 336 00:16:45,367 --> 00:16:48,234 Hey, it's our living room, Jackie. 337 00:16:48,234 --> 00:16:49,534 Yeah. 338 00:16:49,534 --> 00:16:50,734 Couch there. 339 00:16:50,734 --> 00:16:52,234 Tv there. 340 00:16:52,234 --> 00:16:55,234 Blue barcalounger. 341 00:16:55,234 --> 00:16:57,067 Green shag carpeting 342 00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:59,767 As far as the eye could see. 343 00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:02,767 Hey. You remember that oil painting that was there? 344 00:17:02,767 --> 00:17:06,200 It was a picture of a long, winding road. 345 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,534 I Used to stare at that thing for hours. 346 00:17:09,534 --> 00:17:11,300 That's 'cause I told you 347 00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:13,434 It was the andy griffith show. 348 00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:16,767 You were so mean to me. 349 00:17:16,767 --> 00:17:17,901 I was not. 350 00:17:17,901 --> 00:17:21,300 Yes, you were! You lied to me all the time. 351 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,234 You'd tease me and pinch me. 352 00:17:23,234 --> 00:17:26,200 Mom would say, "just ignore her and she'll stop." 353 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,567 Mom never understood me. 354 00:17:28,567 --> 00:17:31,701 My field hockey trophy was right here, 355 00:17:31,701 --> 00:17:35,067 And this is the clock that mom got 356 00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:37,000 When aunt betty died. 357 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,501 The fish! 358 00:17:38,501 --> 00:17:41,133 Oh, god! Yeah! 359 00:17:41,133 --> 00:17:43,234 Dad's stuffed swordfish deal. 360 00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:45,234 Yeah. I Remember crying 361 00:17:45,234 --> 00:17:47,901 When he brought that thing home. 362 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,767 Yeah, that's 'cause I told you it was flipper. 363 00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,000 God, I'm-- 364 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,200 I was such an idiot! 365 00:18:00,734 --> 00:18:04,400 And, uh, remember what was over there, Jackie? 366 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,200 We don't need to get into this. 367 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,934 We're having a good time here. 368 00:18:08,934 --> 00:18:11,100 You want to get into our memories. 369 00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:13,167 This is part of our memories. 370 00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:15,801 The belt. Dad's belt, o.k.? 371 00:18:15,801 --> 00:18:17,767 It was 30 years ago, Roseanne. 372 00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:21,000 Parents spanked their kids back then. 373 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,434 Spanked? 374 00:18:24,234 --> 00:18:27,734 Come on, Jackie. He hit us with a belt. 375 00:18:27,734 --> 00:18:30,701 Well, kids got hit with belts. 376 00:18:30,701 --> 00:18:32,467 Yeah, but did their dads 377 00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:34,968 Strap some big razor strap on the wall 378 00:18:34,968 --> 00:18:37,033 Right by the front door, 379 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,501 So when you came in you'd see it 380 00:18:39,501 --> 00:18:41,501 And always worry what would happen 381 00:18:41,501 --> 00:18:43,734 If you stepped out of line? 382 00:18:43,734 --> 00:18:46,234 Maybe he was trying to psyche us out. 383 00:18:46,234 --> 00:18:48,834 Yeah, well. He was good at that. 384 00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:51,834 Remember he'd make us bring it to him? 385 00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:53,901 Well, mom wasn't any help either. 386 00:18:53,901 --> 00:18:56,300 She could have said something. 387 00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:59,033 She'd just stay in there washing dishes. 388 00:18:59,033 --> 00:19:01,834 That was mom. Ignore it, and it'll go away. 389 00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:05,100 She let the damn thing hang there, 390 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,734 And we're supposed to explain why it's there 391 00:19:07,734 --> 00:19:09,534 To our friends? 392 00:19:09,534 --> 00:19:13,067 I told people it was Elvis' belt. 393 00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:14,067 Well, yeah. 394 00:19:14,067 --> 00:19:16,000 But you had stupid friends. 395 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,167 Or they were just trying to be nice. 396 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:22,968 Let's face it, Jackie. 397 00:19:22,968 --> 00:19:26,200 Our family was like totally screwed up, 398 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,267 Which is probably why I got fat 399 00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:31,701 And you can't have any decent relationship 400 00:19:31,701 --> 00:19:33,400 With any man. 401 00:19:34,734 --> 00:19:35,968 Or... 402 00:19:35,968 --> 00:19:37,167 Maybe... 403 00:19:37,167 --> 00:19:39,701 I just never found the right guy, 404 00:19:39,701 --> 00:19:42,100 And you never found the wrong doughnut. 405 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,734 Well... That's probably how we survived. 406 00:19:50,734 --> 00:19:52,934 We could always make each other laugh. 407 00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:54,033 I know. 408 00:19:54,033 --> 00:19:57,400 Are you sorry you came? 409 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:58,801 No. No. 410 00:19:58,801 --> 00:20:00,934 'Cause I think, well, you know, 411 00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:04,634 We probably needed to do this. 412 00:20:06,234 --> 00:20:08,000 Goodbye, house. 413 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,234 Yeah. 414 00:20:09,234 --> 00:20:12,934 Man. Let's go pick up a couple of burgers. 415 00:20:12,934 --> 00:20:15,667 Yeah...or sailors. 416 00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:30,434 Captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc. 417 00:20:30,434 --> 00:20:34,567 Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute 418 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:35,634 So? 419 00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:37,300 Not bad. 420 00:20:41,133 --> 00:20:44,133 I Divided everything into sections-- 421 00:20:44,133 --> 00:20:46,834 Automotive, gardening, 422 00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:48,434 And home repair. 423 00:20:48,434 --> 00:20:52,601 That's a lot better than the animal, vegetable, mineral system 424 00:20:52,601 --> 00:20:54,200 You had going, Dan. 425 00:21:01,868 --> 00:21:03,868 Tools on the pegboard? 426 00:21:03,868 --> 00:21:05,834 Isn't that what you wanted? 427 00:21:05,834 --> 00:21:07,067 It's fine. 428 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:09,601 What's all this? 429 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:13,067 I Divided the nuts and bolts and screws and nails 430 00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:15,234 And put them in separate jars. 431 00:21:16,834 --> 00:21:18,033 Is that o.k.? 432 00:21:18,033 --> 00:21:19,868 Next time, check with me first. 433 00:21:21,767 --> 00:21:24,601 Well, am I done? 434 00:21:26,133 --> 00:21:27,634 I guess. 435 00:21:29,968 --> 00:21:35,000 So here's the deal-- you're off of grounding and you can see david. 436 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,133 Really? 437 00:21:36,133 --> 00:21:38,501 Thanks to your aunt Jackie. But-- 438 00:21:38,501 --> 00:21:41,133 You mess up in any way, and he's gone. 439 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,634 You got it? 440 00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:44,367 Yeah, o.k. 441 00:21:44,367 --> 00:21:48,067 O.k. Now, go spread joy. 442 00:21:51,868 --> 00:21:54,868 Whee! 443 00:21:56,968 --> 00:22:00,701 Man, this place is almost as clean as the kitchen. 444 00:22:00,701 --> 00:22:02,667 There's actually room for my truck. 445 00:22:02,667 --> 00:22:04,868 You ain't driving that filthy thing in here. 446 00:22:04,868 --> 00:22:07,100 Jeez, this is unbelievable! 447 00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:10,868 You know, report cards are coming up. 448 00:22:10,868 --> 00:22:15,100 I Bet we can get her to build us a pool. 449 00:22:16,267 --> 00:22:18,100 This is so unfair. 450 00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:20,100 When I started seeing Mark, 451 00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:21,868 You guys made it impossible. 452 00:22:21,868 --> 00:22:25,234 You totally caved on this david thing. This sucks. 453 00:22:25,234 --> 00:22:28,234 It's not the same. She's not dating this boy. 454 00:22:28,234 --> 00:22:30,234 Oh, please! You know she's gonna! 455 00:22:30,234 --> 00:22:32,067 What do you want, Becky? 456 00:22:32,067 --> 00:22:35,133 I'm sick of the double standard around here. 457 00:22:35,133 --> 00:22:37,834 I want us both to be treated the same. 458 00:22:37,834 --> 00:22:40,067 O.k. Then you get started 459 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:42,300 On cleaning up the basement! 460 00:22:43,634 --> 00:22:45,133 Why do I bother? 461 00:22:47,334 --> 00:22:50,834 Nice save on the double-standard deal. 462 00:22:50,834 --> 00:22:54,067 But you know, we don't have to see it 463 00:22:54,067 --> 00:22:55,901 As a double standard. 464 00:22:55,901 --> 00:22:58,667 Let's see it as different kids need different rules. 465 00:22:58,667 --> 00:23:00,701 Yes, that's good. 466 00:23:00,701 --> 00:23:03,467 And we didn't cave on this david thing. 467 00:23:03,467 --> 00:23:05,400 We adapted to a difficult situation. 468 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,100 Well done, my man. 469 00:23:07,100 --> 00:23:09,434 Hey, I got one. 470 00:23:09,434 --> 00:23:12,167 Darlene isn't totally out of control. 471 00:23:12,167 --> 00:23:13,734 She's spunky. 472 00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:17,267 Quite. 32755

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