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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:07,934 That's 28...29...30. 2 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:11,334 It's my daughter's first job. 3 00:00:11,334 --> 00:00:14,033 I'm making her a scrapbook. 4 00:00:14,033 --> 00:00:17,300 Mother are you going come in and humiliate me every day? 5 00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:20,000 No, just till it ain't fun no more. 6 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,000 Becky, you look so cute in your little smock. 7 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,567 I was at her birth. 8 00:00:24,567 --> 00:00:29,000 She weighed no more than this head of lettuce. 9 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,167 Just kill me now. 10 00:00:31,167 --> 00:00:32,601 Thanks a lot. 11 00:00:32,601 --> 00:00:34,234 O.k., o.k., my turn. 12 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,834 And I've got coupons! 13 00:00:36,834 --> 00:00:38,501 Whoo-hoo! 14 00:00:38,501 --> 00:00:41,634 You know these paper towels are on sale. 15 00:00:41,634 --> 00:00:43,200 Yep, 2 for .89. 16 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,400 Ooh, she's good! 17 00:00:48,734 --> 00:00:50,133 What's this? 18 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,467 Grapes. 19 00:00:51,467 --> 00:00:52,968 This is three grapes. 20 00:00:52,968 --> 00:00:55,334 How can I charge you for this? 21 00:00:55,334 --> 00:00:58,467 I ate about seven or eight of them. 22 00:00:58,467 --> 00:01:01,267 I believe I also had four grapes. 23 00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:05,300 So charge me for, what, 10, 11, 15 grapes. 24 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:07,968 We charge by the pound, not the grape. 25 00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:11,200 I know what I weighed before eating the grapes. 26 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,934 I'll climb on this scale... 27 00:01:12,934 --> 00:01:16,067 Mom, stop it. People are waiting in line. 28 00:01:16,067 --> 00:01:17,634 Becky? 29 00:01:22,968 --> 00:01:24,667 What's the problem here? 30 00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:26,801 Nothing, Howard. Everything's fine. 31 00:01:26,801 --> 00:01:30,467 You've got customers and a belt that's not moving. 32 00:01:30,467 --> 00:01:32,033 Make it move. 33 00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:33,767 O.k., I'm sorry. 34 00:01:33,767 --> 00:01:36,667 Becky, if this job's too much for you, 35 00:01:36,667 --> 00:01:38,467 I can get somebody competent to take over. 36 00:01:38,467 --> 00:01:40,901 Howard the longer you stand here and insult me, 37 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:43,901 The longer it'll take to check these people through. 38 00:01:43,901 --> 00:01:46,334 If you go back to your manager cage, 39 00:01:46,334 --> 00:01:48,067 We can both get our work done. 40 00:01:48,067 --> 00:03:02,767 That's a keeper. 41 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,801 No, mother, you've done the right thing. 42 00:03:06,801 --> 00:03:08,868 I've been telling you to do that the whole time. 43 00:03:08,868 --> 00:03:12,434 You should have kicked his sorry butt out before thanksgiving. 44 00:03:12,434 --> 00:03:13,934 I know he's my father, 45 00:03:13,934 --> 00:03:15,868 But he's like every other man-- 46 00:03:15,868 --> 00:03:17,868 A lying sack of dirt. 47 00:03:18,901 --> 00:03:20,400 No, you'll be fine. 48 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,901 What did he ever do for you? 49 00:03:22,901 --> 00:03:24,400 He knocked you up twice 50 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,901 And took the garbage out on thursdays. 51 00:03:26,901 --> 00:03:28,968 Should we erect a statue? 52 00:03:28,968 --> 00:03:30,901 No, I won't talk to him. 53 00:03:30,901 --> 00:03:33,400 That man is a giant pile of crap. 54 00:03:35,968 --> 00:03:37,501 No, I'm not yelling. 55 00:03:37,501 --> 00:03:40,434 I'm just saying you did the right thing. 56 00:03:40,434 --> 00:03:41,934 Yes, you did! 57 00:03:41,934 --> 00:03:45,033 So what if you've got adjacent burial plots? 58 00:03:45,033 --> 00:03:48,133 That's no reason to stay married to somebody. 59 00:03:49,501 --> 00:03:51,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 60 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,501 I love you, too. 61 00:03:52,501 --> 00:03:55,501 Well, call me if you need anything. 62 00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:56,934 All right. Bye. 63 00:03:56,934 --> 00:03:58,901 Boy, what a day I had. 64 00:03:58,901 --> 00:04:01,767 My father's little affair in Kansas City 65 00:04:01,767 --> 00:04:04,267 has been going on for 20 years. 66 00:04:04,267 --> 00:04:05,767 Not 2, 20. 67 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:06,901 Whoa. 68 00:04:06,901 --> 00:04:09,000 Did your mom throw him out? 69 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,434 Of course. She doesn't have the strength 70 00:04:11,434 --> 00:04:13,934 To drive some ice pick through his skull 71 00:04:13,934 --> 00:04:16,934 And drag his lifeless body to some shallow grave. 72 00:04:18,767 --> 00:04:21,200 Sounds like you've thought this through. 73 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,200 I like to think ahead. 74 00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:28,634 How come the kids ain't eating with us? 75 00:04:28,634 --> 00:04:31,467 Becky's still at work, D.J.'s eating at Todd's, 76 00:04:31,467 --> 00:04:35,400 And Darlene's in her room sacrificing a chicken or whatever. 77 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,834 Macaroni and cheese! 78 00:04:37,834 --> 00:04:40,200 Together again. 79 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,601 Your phone's been busy for an hour. 80 00:04:42,601 --> 00:04:44,701 I been on with mom. 81 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,934 Yeah? How's she doing? 82 00:04:46,934 --> 00:04:49,868 There won't be a bottle of chardonnay 83 00:04:49,868 --> 00:04:51,868 Left in moline by morning. 84 00:04:51,868 --> 00:04:55,033 What do you guys got going tonight? 85 00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:57,934 Well, we'll sit in here until dinner's over. 86 00:04:57,934 --> 00:05:00,367 Then we'll go sit in there. 87 00:05:07,567 --> 00:05:10,067 I got an overnight haul to Topeka. 88 00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:13,133 I was going to stop through Kansas City 89 00:05:13,133 --> 00:05:15,067 And check out dad's mistress. 90 00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:16,567 What am I thinking, huh? 91 00:05:19,367 --> 00:05:20,934 I don't believe you. 92 00:05:20,934 --> 00:05:22,434 He told me her name. 93 00:05:22,434 --> 00:05:26,033 I looked it up in information and got her address. 94 00:05:26,033 --> 00:05:28,300 It's totally insane. Are you coming? 95 00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:31,067 Why would I want to do that? 96 00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:34,501 Dad's been having an affair with her for 20 years. 97 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,968 I want to see what she looks like. 98 00:05:36,968 --> 00:05:39,234 What would we even say to this woman? 99 00:05:39,234 --> 00:05:42,734 We can figure that out on the way down there. 100 00:05:42,734 --> 00:05:44,734 No way! 101 00:05:44,734 --> 00:05:48,300 O.k. This little trip will make a great story, 102 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:52,767 And you'll just be the big wuss at the very beginning. 103 00:05:54,868 --> 00:05:56,300 I'm not going. 104 00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:57,634 O.k., fine. 105 00:05:57,634 --> 00:05:59,767 I'll see you tomorrow night. 106 00:06:01,968 --> 00:06:04,968 She has no business going to see this woman. 107 00:06:04,968 --> 00:06:08,133 Driving all the way to Kansas City for what? 108 00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:10,234 They make great barbecue sauce in Kansas City. 109 00:06:10,234 --> 00:06:12,667 I'll bring you back some. 110 00:06:21,167 --> 00:06:22,501 * On the road again * 111 00:06:22,501 --> 00:06:24,901 * Da da da da da da da * 112 00:06:24,901 --> 00:06:26,501 * Road again * 113 00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:28,767 * Da da da da da da da * 114 00:06:28,767 --> 00:06:30,534 * Da da da da da da da ** 115 00:06:30,534 --> 00:06:32,100 Sing with me, Jackie. 116 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:35,033 I don't know da da da da road again. 117 00:06:36,267 --> 00:06:37,767 What's this button for? 118 00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:39,200 Don't touch that! 119 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,767 Just stop distracting me. 120 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:42,501 I'm operating a 20-ton vehicle 121 00:06:42,501 --> 00:06:45,200 at well past the legal speed limit. 122 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,634 O.k. 123 00:06:46,634 --> 00:06:48,133 Can I drive? 124 00:06:48,133 --> 00:06:49,367 No! 125 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,067 You begged me to come and now you're mean. 126 00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:53,734 Did not. Am not. 127 00:06:53,734 --> 00:06:55,234 Did, too. Are, too. 128 00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:58,501 Just because I called dad a lying scum. 129 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,434 Everything is just so black and white to you. 130 00:07:01,434 --> 00:07:04,300 Did you consider that mom drove him to it? 131 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:06,934 She drove him crazy. She made him nuts. 132 00:07:06,934 --> 00:07:08,501 She drove me crazy, too, 133 00:07:08,501 --> 00:07:12,434 but I didn't have another mom stashed on the side. 134 00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:16,534 What will we say to this Joan woman? 135 00:07:16,534 --> 00:07:18,467 We'll ask what kind of woman 136 00:07:18,467 --> 00:07:21,601 would steal a man away from his happy family. 137 00:07:21,601 --> 00:07:24,200 Where were you living? 138 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,200 We were never happy. 139 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,133 Maybe we would have been 140 00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:30,801 if she'd left dad alone. 141 00:07:30,801 --> 00:07:32,834 Now you're being unfair, Jackie. 142 00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:35,334 What woman could rightly turn down 143 00:07:35,334 --> 00:07:36,834 a patio furniture salesman 144 00:07:36,834 --> 00:07:41,167 who cleaned out his ears with his car keys? 145 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,834 You just don't get it, do you? 146 00:07:45,834 --> 00:07:47,601 Yeah, I do get it. 147 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:50,901 First it's mom's fault, then it's this woman's fault. 148 00:07:50,901 --> 00:07:53,901 When is it going to be dad's fault, Jackie? 149 00:07:53,901 --> 00:07:57,467 There's a word for this, and it's called denial. 150 00:07:57,467 --> 00:07:59,901 I don't want to talk about it, o.k.? 151 00:07:59,901 --> 00:08:01,400 Well, you started it. 152 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:02,834 Well, I'm stopping it. 153 00:08:02,834 --> 00:08:04,567 O.k., o.k. 154 00:08:05,701 --> 00:08:07,367 You want to play I spy again? 155 00:08:07,367 --> 00:08:08,868 No. 156 00:08:08,868 --> 00:08:10,367 License plate poker? 157 00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:12,300 No. 158 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:13,534 O.k. 159 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:14,701 Knock, knock. 160 00:08:14,701 --> 00:08:16,267 Come on. 161 00:08:16,267 --> 00:08:17,701 Oh, who's there? 162 00:08:17,701 --> 00:08:18,968 Cleopatra. 163 00:08:18,968 --> 00:08:20,300 Cleopatra who? 164 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,934 Cleopatra, queen of denial. 165 00:08:25,167 --> 00:08:26,968 Shut up! 166 00:08:26,968 --> 00:08:29,434 God, you're such a grump. 167 00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:33,334 Anybody want a pudding cup? 168 00:08:33,334 --> 00:08:34,834 No. 169 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,300 God, I'm so bored. 170 00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,734 Let's moon somebody. 171 00:08:40,734 --> 00:08:42,467 Nah. 172 00:08:43,634 --> 00:08:45,367 It's too cold. 173 00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:49,701 Oh, look, a volkswagen. 174 00:08:49,701 --> 00:08:50,934 Slug bug! 175 00:08:50,934 --> 00:08:53,434 Come on. How old are you? 176 00:08:53,434 --> 00:08:54,834 Grow up. 177 00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:58,400 It's not like we're 9 years old anymore. 178 00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,701 Cadillac whack! 179 00:09:02,634 --> 00:09:05,133 I didn't hit you that hard. 180 00:09:05,133 --> 00:09:07,033 That's for that trip to Gettysburg 181 00:09:07,033 --> 00:09:09,534 we took together when we were little. 182 00:09:09,534 --> 00:09:11,567 That was the worst trip ever. 183 00:09:11,567 --> 00:09:13,067 I know, I know. 184 00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:15,067 Every car that passed us 185 00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:18,067 you beat the crap out of me. 186 00:09:18,067 --> 00:09:20,501 800 Miles in a station wagon. 187 00:09:20,501 --> 00:09:24,067 Just so dad could see cannonballs in a pile. 188 00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:26,567 Mom said there would be rides. 189 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,067 They were such liars. 190 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,067 The trip back was good, though. 191 00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:33,567 We were making all that noise until dad screamed, 192 00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:36,467 "Not another word!" 193 00:09:36,467 --> 00:09:39,400 Then we started making all those animal noises. 194 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,834 [Imitating monkeys] 195 00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:44,734 Dad's yelling at us, mom's yelling at us, 196 00:09:44,734 --> 00:09:46,234 and the whole time 197 00:09:46,234 --> 00:09:50,434 neither one of them said a word to each other. 198 00:09:50,434 --> 00:09:53,234 They never said a word to each other 199 00:09:53,234 --> 00:09:57,167 unless it was about us kids fighting or getting in trouble. 200 00:09:57,167 --> 00:09:59,033 Which we did a lot. 201 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,534 Yeah, we had to. 202 00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:03,167 We were trying to save their marriage. 203 00:10:05,334 --> 00:10:06,567 Dodge. 204 00:10:07,701 --> 00:10:08,934 Dodge what? 205 00:10:08,934 --> 00:10:10,200 Dodge this. 206 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,968 Ow! 207 00:10:12,968 --> 00:10:14,267 God! 208 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:20,734 Dad, I hate my life! 209 00:10:20,734 --> 00:10:21,968 Tough day, honey? 210 00:10:21,968 --> 00:10:25,534 My jobs sucks and my boss is big dumb jerk. 211 00:10:25,534 --> 00:10:27,033 That's too bad, dear. 212 00:10:27,033 --> 00:10:28,601 And I can't quit, 213 00:10:28,601 --> 00:10:31,467 Because there's never any money around here for anything I want. 214 00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:32,868 Sorry, sweetheart. 215 00:10:32,868 --> 00:10:36,868 If you expect me to clean up this rathole, you're nuts. 216 00:10:36,868 --> 00:10:39,300 I'm taking a bath and going to bed. 217 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:40,567 Night, Rosie. 218 00:10:44,901 --> 00:10:46,267 Hey, dad. 219 00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:49,767 Hey, Deej. How was dinner over at Todd's house? 220 00:10:49,767 --> 00:10:53,334 It was great. They had cloth napkins and everything. 221 00:10:53,334 --> 00:10:54,801 No way. 222 00:10:54,801 --> 00:10:56,300 Yeah. You want one? 223 00:10:59,601 --> 00:11:01,534 Deej, you can't do that. 224 00:11:01,534 --> 00:11:03,734 Mrs. Bowman gave it to me. 225 00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:04,734 She did not. 226 00:11:04,734 --> 00:11:07,234 After I blew my nose on it, 227 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,868 She said to keep it. 228 00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:10,734 Way to go, Deej. 229 00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:14,267 Next time, aim for their big screen TV set. 230 00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:20,868 You finally get that wooden stake out of your heart? 231 00:11:20,868 --> 00:11:24,300 Becky's upstairs crying. I didn't want to stick around. 232 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,567 What's wrong? 233 00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:27,133 I promised I wouldn't tell. 234 00:11:27,133 --> 00:11:28,434 You lied. 235 00:11:28,434 --> 00:11:30,934 O.k. She stood up to her boss 236 00:11:30,934 --> 00:11:33,934 and he busted her down to bag girl 237 00:11:33,934 --> 00:11:35,868 and called her-- 238 00:11:35,868 --> 00:11:37,434 a bad word. 239 00:11:37,434 --> 00:11:39,868 How bad a word? 240 00:11:39,868 --> 00:11:41,400 Bad. 241 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,901 The "b" word? 242 00:11:42,901 --> 00:11:44,067 Worse. 243 00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:45,567 The "f" word? 244 00:11:45,567 --> 00:11:46,901 Deej! 245 00:11:46,901 --> 00:11:49,000 The "l" word? 246 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,734 What's the "l" word? 247 00:11:51,734 --> 00:11:53,901 I don't know. 248 00:11:53,901 --> 00:11:55,501 What's the "f" word? 249 00:11:56,534 --> 00:11:57,834 D.J. 250 00:11:59,601 --> 00:12:02,067 All right, Darlene, what word? 251 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,601 I'll kill him. 252 00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:08,834 Dad, you're not supposed to know. 253 00:12:08,834 --> 00:12:10,267 Hey, accidents happen. 254 00:12:10,267 --> 00:12:13,834 A can of creamed corn could fall on his head 255 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:18,567 as many times as it takes. 256 00:12:21,467 --> 00:12:24,767 * On the road again da da da da da * 257 00:12:24,767 --> 00:12:26,567 * On the road again ** 258 00:12:26,567 --> 00:12:28,434 Honk honk! 259 00:12:28,434 --> 00:12:30,234 That's enough. Move over. 260 00:12:32,801 --> 00:12:34,801 I brought you a doughnut. 261 00:12:34,801 --> 00:12:36,300 How was the bathrooms? 262 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:39,367 O.k., if you breath through your mouth. 263 00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:42,400 I think I'll wait till Kansas City. 264 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,868 Aren't you going to have nothing? 265 00:12:44,868 --> 00:12:47,801 No, I'm going to try to sleep. 266 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,801 We made good time. No need to press it. 267 00:12:50,801 --> 00:12:52,801 I want to sleep, too. 268 00:12:52,801 --> 00:12:54,434 You sleep up here. 269 00:12:54,434 --> 00:12:57,868 I can't sleep sitting up unless I'm at work. 270 00:12:57,868 --> 00:13:00,868 Well, there's not enough room back here, Roseanne. 271 00:13:00,868 --> 00:13:03,734 There is so, Jackie. There's plenty of room. 272 00:13:03,734 --> 00:13:05,334 No, come on. 273 00:13:05,334 --> 00:13:06,834 Give it a shot. 274 00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:08,000 Ow! 275 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,000 Move. 276 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,801 Ow! Roseanne. 277 00:13:10,801 --> 00:13:12,734 Come on. 278 00:13:12,734 --> 00:13:14,067 Come on. 279 00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:17,501 I feel like I'm 8 and the bunk bed collapsed. 280 00:13:18,501 --> 00:13:20,000 O.k., scoot down now. 281 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,000 Scoot down there. Scoot down. 282 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,434 Scoot down more. 283 00:13:23,434 --> 00:13:24,934 O.k., this is great. 284 00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,868 Is it o.k. for you? 285 00:13:26,868 --> 00:13:28,868 No. 286 00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:34,567 Turn over this way. 287 00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:38,033 Go over, like, to face me, you know? 288 00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:39,200 It's hot. 289 00:13:40,767 --> 00:13:42,267 Get your head straight. 290 00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:43,767 Bend your knees. 291 00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:45,100 There. 292 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,200 Quit breathing all over me. 293 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,200 I can't. Go on, get out of here. 294 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,367 Go on. 295 00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:57,601 Fine. 296 00:13:57,601 --> 00:13:59,100 Give me a minute. 297 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,701 Roseanne? 298 00:14:04,701 --> 00:14:06,033 What? 299 00:14:07,868 --> 00:14:10,801 I'm sorry I've been such a grump all day. 300 00:14:10,801 --> 00:14:12,067 That's o.k. 301 00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:13,501 It's just that... 302 00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:16,567 you know, I do think that it is... 303 00:14:16,567 --> 00:14:20,100 kind of dad's fault. 304 00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:22,267 Well, welcome back, Jackie. 305 00:14:22,267 --> 00:14:24,901 He and I were just so close. 306 00:14:24,901 --> 00:14:27,901 Now I don't feel like I can trust him. 307 00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,400 That's what really stinks. 308 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,901 What I can't understand 309 00:14:30,901 --> 00:14:34,834 is how mom didn't know about this for 20 years. 310 00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:38,334 This woman could hear me unwrapping a hershey bar 311 00:14:38,334 --> 00:14:40,334 up in my bedroom closet. 312 00:14:40,334 --> 00:14:42,200 He had a great cover. 313 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,701 He was a traveling salesman. 314 00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:46,567 He was on the road all the time. 315 00:14:46,567 --> 00:14:49,434 He had those hunting trips and fishing trips... 316 00:14:49,434 --> 00:14:50,601 Conventions. 317 00:14:50,601 --> 00:14:51,701 Yeah. 318 00:14:51,701 --> 00:14:53,033 Roseanne... 319 00:14:54,234 --> 00:14:57,300 Dad could have kids with this woman. 320 00:14:57,300 --> 00:15:01,033 They would be, like, Darlene's age. 321 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:05,033 Oh, man, that would serve him right. 322 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,133 Are you Howard? 323 00:15:19,133 --> 00:15:20,434 Yeah, can I help you? 324 00:15:20,434 --> 00:15:22,033 I have a problem. 325 00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:25,534 Actually, it's your problem. 326 00:15:25,534 --> 00:15:27,200 I'm Becky Conner's father. 327 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,434 Oh, no. 328 00:15:28,434 --> 00:15:30,434 If you got to demote somebody 329 00:15:30,434 --> 00:15:33,434 for not doing their job, I understand that. 330 00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:37,567 But nobody talks to my daughter like you did. Got that? 331 00:15:37,567 --> 00:15:38,968 Yes. 332 00:15:38,968 --> 00:15:41,467 You going to hit me, too? 333 00:15:41,467 --> 00:15:43,334 Becky hit you? 334 00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:46,601 No, thug-boy over there. 335 00:15:48,367 --> 00:15:50,667 Look, I already promised him 336 00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:53,834 I'd apologize to Becky the minute she walked in. 337 00:15:53,834 --> 00:15:55,767 I'm making her cashier again. 338 00:15:55,767 --> 00:15:59,400 So what more do you people want from me? 339 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,267 I don't know yet. I'll get back to you. 340 00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:04,100 Excuse me. 341 00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:07,934 Hey. Hey. What the hell's going on here? 342 00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,334 Everything's under control. 343 00:16:09,334 --> 00:16:10,901 You can go home now. 344 00:16:10,901 --> 00:16:12,834 I don't want to go home. 345 00:16:12,834 --> 00:16:14,334 Did you hit that guy? 346 00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:15,701 Damn right I did. 347 00:16:15,701 --> 00:16:18,467 What gives you the right to do that? 348 00:16:18,467 --> 00:16:19,968 Well, I'm her boyfriend. 349 00:16:19,968 --> 00:16:21,501 Well, I'm her father. 350 00:16:21,501 --> 00:16:23,601 So now you're mad at me? 351 00:16:23,601 --> 00:16:26,200 No, not really. 352 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,601 So what's the problem? 353 00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:30,934 The problem is, maybe I wanted to hit him. 354 00:16:30,934 --> 00:16:32,267 So hit him. 355 00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:33,534 Well, no. 356 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,400 You ruined it. 357 00:16:37,567 --> 00:16:41,334 I'm sorry. I was here, so I hit him. 358 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,934 Check with me first. 359 00:16:42,934 --> 00:16:46,901 If I don't want to hit him, you can hit him. 360 00:16:46,901 --> 00:16:48,334 If I'd wanted to, 361 00:16:48,334 --> 00:16:52,300 It would have been nice if I could have. 362 00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:54,634 I only hit him once in the gut. 363 00:16:54,634 --> 00:16:56,000 He puke? 364 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,033 No, but he wanted to. 365 00:16:59,033 --> 00:17:01,534 So I guess I'm done here. 366 00:17:01,534 --> 00:17:03,968 I'll hang around and make sure 367 00:17:03,968 --> 00:17:06,467 This Howard guy apologizes to her. 368 00:17:06,467 --> 00:17:08,234 O.k. 369 00:17:08,234 --> 00:17:09,534 Good work. 370 00:17:09,534 --> 00:17:11,133 No problem. 371 00:17:13,334 --> 00:17:16,267 If I'd have hit him, he'd have puked. 372 00:17:25,567 --> 00:17:28,901 There it is. Joan Crenshaw. 4-D. 373 00:17:28,901 --> 00:17:30,701 That's it. That's the door. 374 00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,734 Joan Crenshaw, the other woman. 375 00:17:32,734 --> 00:17:35,300 Roseanne, I just had a thought. 376 00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:37,634 What if dad's in there? 377 00:17:37,634 --> 00:17:40,534 I mean, what if they're, like, doing it? 378 00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:44,567 They've been together 20 years. 379 00:17:44,567 --> 00:17:46,701 They don't do it anymore. 380 00:17:46,701 --> 00:17:49,501 No, I think it's-- it's a bad idea. 381 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,067 We should just go. 382 00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:53,934 We came all this way. Let's see this woman. 383 00:17:53,934 --> 00:17:56,501 What are we going to say to her? 384 00:17:56,501 --> 00:17:58,767 Hello. Can I help you? 385 00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:00,267 Uh... 386 00:18:00,267 --> 00:18:04,467 Are you, uh, Mrs. Felgred? 387 00:18:04,467 --> 00:18:06,801 No. You have the wrong apartment. 388 00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:11,767 Well, um, is there a Mrs. Felgred in this building? 389 00:18:11,767 --> 00:18:14,100 I don't think so. 390 00:18:15,868 --> 00:18:17,868 Well, sorry we bothered you. 391 00:18:17,868 --> 00:18:18,868 No problem. 392 00:18:20,868 --> 00:18:22,801 You didn't find out anything. 393 00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:23,734 Like what? 394 00:18:23,734 --> 00:18:26,167 Like does she have any kids? 395 00:18:26,167 --> 00:18:27,868 Will she marry dad? 396 00:18:27,868 --> 00:18:31,133 That would've blown my whole Felgred thing. 397 00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:34,834 Excuse me. 398 00:18:34,834 --> 00:18:36,968 You're Roseanne and Jackie, aren't you? 399 00:18:40,234 --> 00:18:42,734 What do you think? Are we? 400 00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:46,701 Your father showed me your pictures. 401 00:18:46,701 --> 00:18:48,067 Oh. 402 00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:50,734 Oh, yeah, we, uh... 403 00:18:50,734 --> 00:18:53,734 Well, we never thought of that. 404 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,868 Came to check me out? 405 00:18:58,467 --> 00:19:00,934 We're real sorry we bothered you. 406 00:19:00,934 --> 00:19:02,400 No, it's o.k. 407 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,334 I knocked on your mother's door once 408 00:19:05,334 --> 00:19:07,000 For the same reason. 409 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,501 Would you come in? 410 00:19:08,501 --> 00:19:10,100 The place is a mess. 411 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,400 Well, maybe... 412 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,467 No, we've got a truckload of stuff 413 00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:16,367 we've got to get somewhere. 414 00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:17,901 Maybe some other time. 415 00:19:17,901 --> 00:19:19,667 All right. 416 00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:24,033 Listen, I never asked your father to leave your mom. 417 00:19:25,767 --> 00:19:27,000 O.k. 418 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,734 I just wanted you to know that. 419 00:19:30,868 --> 00:19:32,667 O.k. Bye. 420 00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:37,634 Why didn't you want to talk to her? 421 00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,067 I don't know. I... 422 00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:41,133 She just seemed so nice, 423 00:19:41,133 --> 00:19:44,067 And I'm not ready to like her yet. 424 00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:45,501 Yeah. 425 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,968 Hey, are you o.k.? 426 00:19:48,968 --> 00:19:50,400 Yeah, I'm all right. 427 00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:55,767 Can I drive? 428 00:19:55,767 --> 00:19:57,000 No. 429 00:20:00,534 --> 00:20:03,100 Your mom called 50 times today. 430 00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:05,534 I wasn't sure you wanted her to know, 431 00:20:05,534 --> 00:20:09,534 So I said you were at the 7-eleven all day. 432 00:20:09,534 --> 00:20:11,434 Good thinking, Dan. 433 00:20:11,434 --> 00:20:14,000 I don't know what to tell her, either. 434 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,868 Dad's got somebody nice, and she's got nobody. 435 00:20:16,868 --> 00:20:21,000 I give her six months alone before she moves in here. 436 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,434 Where will I live, dear? 437 00:20:26,534 --> 00:20:29,033 You've got sauce on your chin. 438 00:20:29,033 --> 00:20:31,968 I know. I'm saving it for later. 439 00:20:31,968 --> 00:20:33,467 [Knock on door] 440 00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:34,701 Come in. 441 00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:38,901 Hey. 442 00:20:38,901 --> 00:20:40,067 Hey, Mark. 443 00:20:40,067 --> 00:20:41,634 Becky ready yet? 444 00:20:41,634 --> 00:20:44,868 Becky! She'll be down in a minute. 445 00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:46,868 Cool. Hey, mrs. Conner. 446 00:20:46,868 --> 00:20:48,067 Uhhh. 447 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,234 He comes in the back door like family? 448 00:20:53,234 --> 00:20:54,834 You guys buddies now? 449 00:20:54,834 --> 00:20:56,734 He's sitting on the couch. 450 00:20:56,734 --> 00:20:58,801 I hate when he does that. 451 00:20:58,801 --> 00:21:01,868 I'm gone one day and everything goes to hell. 452 00:21:01,868 --> 00:21:04,534 You'd have been proud of that kid today. 453 00:21:04,534 --> 00:21:08,434 Why? What did he do, volunteer for sterilization? 454 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,801 No, he beat up Becky's boss. 455 00:21:10,801 --> 00:21:12,067 No. 456 00:21:12,067 --> 00:21:14,067 The kid called her something nasty, 457 00:21:14,067 --> 00:21:15,801 And Mark let him have it. 458 00:21:17,133 --> 00:21:18,634 That is so cool. 459 00:21:18,634 --> 00:21:19,901 Yeah. 460 00:21:21,267 --> 00:21:24,200 How come you didn't beat up the creep? 461 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,767 I would have, but I got there late. 462 00:21:26,767 --> 00:21:28,100 Aw, Dan. 463 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:30,534 Hey, you think I'm not sick about it? 464 00:21:30,534 --> 00:21:33,501 I had stuff to do at the shop. 465 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:36,400 What's he got to do, smoke a cigarette? 466 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,801 Of course he got there first. 467 00:21:38,801 --> 00:21:40,234 Oh, I'm sorry, Dan. 468 00:21:40,234 --> 00:21:44,234 I know you would have did it if you could have. 469 00:21:46,033 --> 00:21:48,434 This is the first thing he's ever done 470 00:21:48,434 --> 00:21:50,667 to show he cares about her. 471 00a21:50,667 --> 00:21:53,667 I also had to make D.J. Breakfast. 472 00:21:53,667 --> 00:21:57,167 Maybe you ought to throw him some more work, 473 00:21:57,167 --> 00:22:00,868 because maybe this guy is the guy. 474 00:22:00,868 --> 00:22:02,934 You beat him up? 475 00:22:02,934 --> 00:22:04,868 That's why he apologized? 476 00:22:04,868 --> 00:22:07,801 You can't walk in there like some dumb animal 477 00:22:07,801 --> 00:22:09,300 and beat up my boss. 478 00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:11,334 Wait. The guy called you-- 479 00:22:11,334 --> 00:22:13,334 I know what he called me. 480 00:22:13,334 --> 00:22:15,334 I can take care of myself. 481 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,167 Now his apology means nothing. 482 00:22:17,167 --> 00:22:18,667 I just thought-- 483 00:22:18,667 --> 00:22:20,968 You didn't think. You never think. 484 00:22:20,968 --> 00:22:24,067 O.k., o.k., we'll be late for this party. 485 00:22:24,067 --> 00:22:25,501 Don't you get it? 486 00:22:25,501 --> 00:22:29,367 I'm not going with you to some stupid party. 487 00:22:29,367 --> 00:22:30,868 Now, get out! 488 00:22:30,868 --> 00:22:32,133 Fine. 489 00:22:35,367 --> 00:22:36,868 See you, Mark. 490 00:22:36,868 --> 00:22:38,100 Yeah. 491 00:22:43,801 --> 00:22:53,033 I miss him already. 32619

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