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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:12,000 THE LAST FANTASY | TLF HALFCD TeaM 壓制:~小齊~ | 字幕:網絡 僅供交流 嚴禁商用 2 00:00:34,258 --> 00:00:35,592 玉蒲團這本書 3 00:00:35,633 --> 00:00:39,175 和金瓶梅可以視為中國禁書的雙絕 4 00:00:39,217 --> 00:00:41,050 玉蒲團的警世意義 5 00:00:41,092 --> 00:00:45,425 是淫人妻女笑呵呵 妻女淫人意若何 6 00:00:45,467 --> 00:00:46,758 書中主人翁未央生 7 00:00:46,758 --> 00:00:48,300 不惜以馬的器宮 8 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:49,800 頂替自己的陽具 9 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,592 最後也落得一個妻子被千人吻 10 00:00:52,592 --> 00:00:54,050 萬人淫的下場 11 00:00:54,133 --> 00:00:55,217 但是很奇怪 12 00:00:55,258 --> 00:00:56,717 後世不少男人 13 00:00:56,717 --> 00:00:58,883 依然當未央生是他們的偶像 14 00:00:59,175 --> 00:01:00,675 立志要學他那麼風流 15 00:01:00,967 --> 00:01:03,758 淫盡天下美女… 16 00:02:00,092 --> 00:02:02,508 千門鎮有一家暴發戶 17 00:02:02,675 --> 00:02:04,550 戶主西門大官人 18 00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:06,133 單名一個堅字 19 00:02:06,342 --> 00:02:08,717 他封未央生為偶像 20 00:02:08,758 --> 00:02:10,300 苦練"鐵屌功 " 21 00:02:10,342 --> 00:02:11,717 每天早上起來 22 00:02:11,758 --> 00:02:15,592 把西瓜綁在自己的陽具上來練"壁虎功 " 23 00:02:15,967 --> 00:02:19,175 務求把陽具練的堅硬如鐵 24 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:27,592 我厲不厲害呀? 25 00:02:28,425 --> 00:02:30,508 厲害!厲害! 26 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,883 別說我西門堅對你們不好 27 00:02:33,092 --> 00:02:37,217 今天我請你們吃西瓜 拿著 28 00:02:38,217 --> 00:02:39,633 吃呀 29 00:02:39,758 --> 00:02:44,258 吃...吃 我吃 好吃啊 30 00:02:44,758 --> 00:02:47,342 然後他繼續練 "鐵蛋子功 " 31 00:02:47,425 --> 00:02:50,967 用繩子把自己的陽具和牛的睪丸綁在一起 32 00:02:51,008 --> 00:02:52,800 互相拔河 33 00:02:53,925 --> 00:02:55,008 他一發功 34 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,800 往往把牛鞭扯斷 牛就變成太監了 35 00:02:59,967 --> 00:03:01,717 他又苦練插沙功 36 00:03:01,758 --> 00:03:04,092 用陽具在沙上面寫字 37 00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:08,300 希望能練成叫天下美人欲僊欲死的本領 38 00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:17,467 我西門這個名字簽得漂不漂亮?哈哈... 39 00:03:20,425 --> 00:03:24,717 他做人的宗旨就是"朋友妻 不放過" 40 00:03:24,717 --> 00:03:26,258 他有四個老婆 41 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,842 原配早就死了 落個清靜 42 00:03:28,883 --> 00:03:32,508 另外三個都是他看中人家的老婆 43 00:03:32,592 --> 00:03:34,300 搶來做自己的小妾! 44 00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:36,425 慕容 45 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,800 你身為天下第一淫棍 46 00:03:38,842 --> 00:03:40,258 也是畫畫高手 47 00:03:40,925 --> 00:03:42,092 這幅畫 48 00:03:42,133 --> 00:03:44,883 以女人的乳房作荷花 陰毛作荷葉 49 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,883 豐臀作小鳥 秀腰作草 50 00:03:47,883 --> 00:03:51,967 一幅以中國畫的手法和女人的天賦線條美 51 00:03:52,008 --> 00:03:54,467 結合而成的"百花競艷圖" 52 00:03:54,508 --> 00:03:56,050 你看了會不會覺得興奮啊? 53 00:03:56,717 --> 00:03:58,800 "朋友妻 不可欺"! 54 00:03:58,842 --> 00:04:01,633 你的宗旨不是"朋友妻 別放過"嗎? 55 00:04:01,717 --> 00:04:03,633 是!不過堅大哥 56 00:04:03,675 --> 00:04:06,050 你在城中宣佈過 有誰對你妻子不敬的 57 00:04:06,092 --> 00:04:08,467 就放火燒他全家 強姦他老媽! 58 00:04:08,508 --> 00:04:10,717 拿他小弟弟去餵蝦 59 00:04:10,758 --> 00:04:13,092 在下可以不要全家!不要老媽! 60 00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:14,967 沒有了小弟弟就做不成人家老爸! 61 00:04:15,008 --> 00:04:16,717 想也不敢想啊 62 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,467 你簡直是我的偶像呀 63 00:04:19,508 --> 00:04:21,717 全城人都說你是拍馬屁高手 64 00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:23,675 出賣朋友而生! 65 00:04:23,717 --> 00:04:26,467 巴結奉承有錢人以及老大哥 66 00:04:26,508 --> 00:04:28,383 但是我不信 67 00:04:28,425 --> 00:04:31,967 我覺得你是一個正人君子 68 00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,008 謝謝 謝謝 69 00:04:33,050 --> 00:04:34,050 不用謝! 70 00:04:34,133 --> 00:04:36,467 我撒謊的 71 00:04:37,717 --> 00:04:38,592 別耍小弟啦 72 00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:40,883 怎麼樣?我耍你不行呀? 73 00:04:41,175 --> 00:04:44,758 我叫你做你就得做 王八蛋 哈哈... 74 00:04:45,883 --> 00:04:48,050 西門堅是千門鎮的霸王 75 00:04:48,092 --> 00:04:50,092 喜怒無常 又喜歡用暴力 76 00:04:50,133 --> 00:04:52,550 所以連一些刻意奉承他的人 77 00:04:52,550 --> 00:04:55,175 都被他戲弄得哭笑不得 78 00:04:56,008 --> 00:05:00,508 每天黃昏西門堅的家人就會抬出四面銅鑼 79 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,883 分別刻上他四個老婆的名字 80 00:05:03,092 --> 00:05:04,883 他敲聽哪一面銅鑼 81 00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:10,217 就表示他要在哪一位老婆的房間留宿 82 00:05:17,633 --> 00:05:22,258 但是西門堅有時候縱慾過度 想休息一下 83 00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:25,258 他就會敲他已經死了的大老婆的銅鑼 84 00:05:25,342 --> 00:05:29,717 那麼那天晚上他就會在自己的房間裏休息進補 85 00:05:35,258 --> 00:05:36,800 老爺 雞子燉牛鞭 86 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,175 鹿茸燉海狗鞭 龍蝦燉豹鞭 87 00:05:39,342 --> 00:05:41,133 這壇是三蛇膽虎鞭酒 88 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:43,050 全他媽是鞭 89 00:05:43,258 --> 00:05:47,175 那不是天下的鞭都讓我吃盡了 哈哈... 90 00:05:48,758 --> 00:05:52,758 你為什麼不笑 我說得不好笑嗎 91 00:05:54,508 --> 00:05:55,467 老爺真有趣 92 00:05:55,467 --> 00:05:59,175 小人年紀老反應遲鈍吶 老爺別見怪 93 00:05:59,217 --> 00:06:01,467 果然是好奴才!哈哈... 94 00:06:01,508 --> 00:06:03,925 阿龍和阿柔到哪去了? 95 00:06:04,758 --> 00:06:06,633 他們準備去放風箏 96 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:07,967 不能讓他們去 97 00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:11,800 爹… 98 00:06:12,050 --> 00:06:14,592 我們去放風箏 99 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:16,800 不准去 100 00:06:16,967 --> 00:06:18,717 爹…你的輕功越來越棒了 101 00:06:18,883 --> 00:06:20,550 那還用說嘛 102 00:06:20,717 --> 00:06:23,508 可是你踩著哥哥了 103 00:06:27,217 --> 00:06:28,675 怎麼樣啊 104 00:06:29,175 --> 00:06:30,467 幹嘛站在我腳底下呢 105 00:06:30,717 --> 00:06:33,508 我做錯了什麼了 九代單傅生了這麼個傻小子 106 00:06:33,675 --> 00:06:35,508 哥哥一生下來就是這樣的了 107 00:06:35,550 --> 00:06:36,717 你還說呢 108 00:06:36,758 --> 00:06:40,008 叫你不要外出玩 你還帶著他到處亂跑 109 00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:41,633 我帶著他去放風箏而已 110 00:06:41,675 --> 00:06:43,217 他老呆在家裏很悶的 111 00:06:43,258 --> 00:06:45,925 我們西門家 書香世代 112 00:06:45,967 --> 00:06:47,008 你是女兒家 113 00:06:47,050 --> 00:06:49,217 怎麼可以整天在外頭拋頭露面 114 00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:51,133 萬一遇上狂蜂浪蝶出了什麼事 115 00:06:51,175 --> 00:06:53,008 爹的臉丟盡了 116 00:06:53,050 --> 00:06:55,050 別以為女扮男裝就沒事 更糟糕 117 00:06:55,258 --> 00:06:58,133 我告訴你 世風日下 人心叵測 118 00:06:58,175 --> 00:06:59,633 現今那些色狼狂 119 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,675 最喜歡非禮未成年的少男 還有… 120 00:07:02,842 --> 00:07:05,175 爹呀 你的口水不要啦 121 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:09,133 我不管 我告訴你以後不准到處跑 122 00:07:10,258 --> 00:07:12,800 快跟哥哥回房去 哼… 123 00:07:17,008 --> 00:07:20,800 哥哥 再高一點 高一點… 124 00:07:21,342 --> 00:07:24,633 好棒哦 好棒 再高些 125 00:07:37,383 --> 00:07:39,467 繼續 再高一點 126 00:07:44,592 --> 00:07:45,133 放手呀… 127 00:07:45,175 --> 00:07:47,383 你拉著我命根子啦 128 00:07:50,967 --> 00:07:53,800 你差點把我武功給廢了 129 00:08:03,342 --> 00:08:04,800 原來你偷看人家敦倫 130 00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:07,758 夫妻相好才叫敦倫 131 00:08:07,842 --> 00:08:10,633 像他們那樣幕天席地 茍且偷歡 132 00:08:10,717 --> 00:08:14,342 稱為野合 133 00:08:22,592 --> 00:08:23,258 你倒挺有學問的 134 00:08:23,467 --> 00:08:24,383 那當然了 135 00:08:24,425 --> 00:08:25,633 男人那叫什麼? 136 00:08:25,675 --> 00:08:27,050 讓我教教你吧 137 00:08:27,092 --> 00:08:28,342 小孩的叫"小鳥" 138 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:31,300 大的叫"雞巴" 再大的叫"大雕" 139 00:08:31,342 --> 00:08:34,342 詩經有云:關關稚鳩 在河之洲 140 00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,175 窈窕淑女 君子好逑 141 00:08:36,217 --> 00:08:36,967 "鳩"就是"大雕" 142 00:08:37,258 --> 00:08:39,633 文雅點叫做玉塵 又稱為守陽 143 00:08:39,842 --> 00:08:41,467 女人那裏 一般叫玉門 144 00:08:41,717 --> 00:08:42,592 或者是花心 145 00:08:42,633 --> 00:08:44,633 道家叫作爐鼎 146 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,425 俗話怎麼說啊 147 00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:48,342 哎 我個我們讀書人是不會說的 148 00:08:48,383 --> 00:08:50,133 你要想得到一個正確的發音呢 149 00:08:50,175 --> 00:08:52,633 將門字和西字一起讀那就行了 150 00:08:52,675 --> 00:08:54,425 門西 門西… 151 00:08:54,508 --> 00:08:55,675 還未請教 152 00:08:55,717 --> 00:08:57,967 在下花道乃一介書生 153 00:08:58,008 --> 00:09:00,342 正想到鄰鎮找名聞天下的名儒梅花先生 154 00:09:00,342 --> 00:09:01,467 拜在他門下 155 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:04,008 學習齊家治國之道 156 00:09:04,008 --> 00:09:05,467 你可好啦 可以到處求學 157 00:09:05,467 --> 00:09:06,342 你也可以呀 158 00:09:06,383 --> 00:09:08,133 -我是女子 -啊… 159 00:09:08,175 --> 00:09:11,467 啊…我是女子眾多的家庭裏的一個小男生 160 00:09:11,508 --> 00:09:12,383 哥哥是傻子 161 00:09:12,425 --> 00:09:14,800 我去唸書 不行的 162 00:09:14,842 --> 00:09:16,383 哦 那就太可惜啦 163 00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:17,925 賢弟你我一見如故 164 00:09:17,967 --> 00:09:21,258 要是可以一起寒窗苦讀 夜來也有一個良伴啊 165 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,050 而且學成之後 166 00:09:23,092 --> 00:09:25,967 我立志要獵盡天下艷色 167 00:09:26,008 --> 00:09:28,133 賢弟也可以作為我玩伴呀 168 00:09:28,133 --> 00:09:29,550 你讀書是為了女色? 169 00:09:29,592 --> 00:09:31,175 書中自有顏如玉 170 00:09:31,217 --> 00:09:35,217 求功名無非是為了得到美女的垂青嘛 171 00:09:35,258 --> 00:09:36,717 你倒是挺好色 172 00:09:36,758 --> 00:09:39,592 人不風流枉少年呀 173 00:09:40,508 --> 00:09:41,592 日已西斜 174 00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,217 我要趕路了 175 00:09:43,425 --> 00:09:45,342 有興趣的話 就到梅花先生那找我 176 00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:47,050 再見 177 00:09:47,883 --> 00:09:50,008 我餓了 回家吧 178 00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:51,425 好 回去吧 179 00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:53,133 喂 你說我去唸書好嗎? 180 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,425 好呀 好呀 181 00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:55,467 你就會說好 182 00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:56,633 好呀 好呀 183 00:09:56,675 --> 00:09:57,550 說句不好行不行啊? 184 00:09:57,758 --> 00:09:58,592 好呀 好呀 185 00:09:58,758 --> 00:10:00,050 懶得跟你說 186 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:04,092 死丫頭 就是不聽話 187 00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:06,217 到現在還不回來? 188 00:10:06,258 --> 00:10:07,758 來人 189 00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:10,050 召集人馬 190 00:10:10,092 --> 00:10:13,050 找小姐和少爺找回來 191 00:10:13,175 --> 00:10:16,300 我不發火 她就不知道我厲害 192 00:10:17,092 --> 00:10:20,425 老爺誰惹你生氣啦? 193 00:10:21,383 --> 00:10:22,925 正好 194 00:10:23,217 --> 00:10:26,300 死丫頭氣的我都支起來啦 195 00:10:27,842 --> 00:10:30,008 給我消消氣 196 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,717 來呀 197 00:10:55,175 --> 00:10:57,842 用點力啦 198 00:11:20,175 --> 00:11:21,633 蹲下 199 00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:38,442 爹…爹… 200 00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:41,442 爹 我回來啦 爹… 201 00:11:42,942 --> 00:11:45,067 爹 我回來啦 202 00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,442 為什麼不聽話 203 00:11:51,525 --> 00:11:53,942 老是往處跑 204 00:11:53,983 --> 00:11:56,483 我去放風箏嘛 205 00:11:56,525 --> 00:11:58,525 你是女兒家 206 00:11:58,567 --> 00:12:01,733 怎麼可以老不在家裏待著 207 00:12:01,775 --> 00:12:03,275 我女扮男裝嘛 208 00:12:03,317 --> 00:12:05,608 古有花木蘭 代父從軍 209 00:12:05,650 --> 00:12:08,025 名垂千古 210 00:12:08,067 --> 00:12:10,525 古有皇太后 我就聽說過 211 00:12:10,567 --> 00:12:12,358 歌謠唱 212 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,983 古有皇太后 213 00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:17,650 要找小白臉 214 00:12:17,733 --> 00:12:19,525 良醫獻妙藥 215 00:12:19,567 --> 00:12:21,775 太醫干皇后 216 00:12:21,817 --> 00:12:23,650 千辛萬苦 217 00:12:23,692 --> 00:12:25,858 幹完解困擾 218 00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:27,775 誰知道染了花柳 219 00:12:27,817 --> 00:12:33,192 流傳民間得傅流 220 00:12:33,233 --> 00:12:36,608 唱得好 唱得好 221 00:12:37,608 --> 00:12:39,275 爹你不要唱咸歌 222 00:12:39,317 --> 00:12:41,567 我真的很想唸書 行不行啊? 223 00:12:41,608 --> 00:12:43,317 不行 224 00:12:43,358 --> 00:12:44,817 真的不行啊 225 00:12:44,858 --> 00:12:47,817 女兒家 那有像你這樣的 226 00:12:47,858 --> 00:12:51,108 人家黃花閨女 三步不出閨門 227 00:12:51,150 --> 00:12:52,858 做針線 繡繡花 228 00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:58,400 彈彈琴 吹吹簫 養養小鳥 這才像個女兒家嘛 229 00:12:58,442 --> 00:13:04,275 整天…整天…想去唸書 230 00:13:05,192 --> 00:13:07,942 爹 你沒事吧? 231 00:13:07,983 --> 00:13:12,150 沒事 我被你氣死了 232 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:16,400 回房去 回房去 233 00:13:19,608 --> 00:13:21,483 三娘 234 00:13:21,525 --> 00:13:23,067 我知你幹活勤快 235 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:26,275 也用不著叼著不放啊 236 00:13:32,733 --> 00:13:35,400 娘 女兒很想出去見見世面 237 00:13:35,442 --> 00:13:36,858 向梅花先生求學 238 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,317 做一個有學問的人 239 00:13:38,358 --> 00:13:40,400 不想像二娘 三娘 四娘那樣 240 00:13:40,442 --> 00:13:43,650 一輩子做男人的奴隸 241 00:13:53,775 --> 00:13:56,442 古語有云:女子無才便是德 242 00:13:56,483 --> 00:14:00,067 根本就是男人編出來騙女人的 243 00:14:10,442 --> 00:14:14,150 若是不唸書 就要一輩子聽男人的 244 00:14:20,358 --> 00:14:21,983 他要你怎麼樣就怎麼樣 245 00:14:22,025 --> 00:14:24,692 叫你走就走 站就站 246 00:14:32,692 --> 00:14:36,692 娘 請恕女兒不孝 要離家出走 247 00:14:36,733 --> 00:14:38,900 你在天有要是有靈的話 248 00:14:38,942 --> 00:14:41,942 請你保佑女兒平平安安 249 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,525 還是走後門出去吧 250 00:15:06,983 --> 00:15:09,275 小姐 你上哪去? 251 00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:14,442 現在不早了 252 00:15:14,483 --> 00:15:18,067 是爹叫我練輕功的 253 00:15:18,108 --> 00:15:19,483 這麼晚你在這幹什麼? 254 00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:20,775 想偷看? 255 00:15:20,817 --> 00:15:22,317 不敢 不敢… 256 00:15:22,317 --> 00:15:23,317 還不睡覺 257 00:15:23,358 --> 00:15:25,900 我叫爹出來啊 258 00:15:25,942 --> 00:15:29,983 一 二 三 爹… 259 00:15:30,025 --> 00:15:32,025 幹什麼? 260 00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:35,608 爹 你的輕功真棒啊 261 00:15:35,650 --> 00:15:38,983 我們盯著你好幾個晚上了 262 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,442 跟我們回去 263 00:15:41,442 --> 00:15:44,608 西門家歷代祖先在上 264 00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:46,608 不肖子孫西門堅 265 00:15:46,650 --> 00:15:48,400 教女無方 離家出走 266 00:15:48,608 --> 00:15:50,108 在外邊拋頭露面 267 00:15:50,358 --> 00:15:51,983 要是被外面的人說閒話 268 00:15:52,275 --> 00:15:54,400 你教我怎麼辦? 269 00:15:54,442 --> 00:15:57,233 燒他全家 打他老媽 270 00:15:57,275 --> 00:16:00,233 不錯 我們西門家 271 00:16:00,275 --> 00:16:02,983 怎麼會怕人說閒話呢 272 00:16:03,025 --> 00:16:05,858 今天我隨便拜拜你們 是要告訴你們 273 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:07,983 我西門堅已經決定了 274 00:16:08,025 --> 00:16:10,067 讓女兒去讀書 275 00:16:10,150 --> 00:16:11,650 謝謝爹 276 00:16:11,692 --> 00:16:13,858 你先別高興 277 00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:16,900 你得答應我一件事 我才讓你去讀書 278 00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:19,150 我答應 我答應 279 00:16:19,192 --> 00:16:22,942 留下三個 其他的給我滾出去 280 00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:25,192 出去 281 00:16:34,442 --> 00:16:37,150 不會打我一頓才讓我走吧 282 00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:39,900 三娘 出來 283 00:16:43,192 --> 00:16:44,733 我們家族所以這麼富有 284 00:16:45,650 --> 00:16:47,317 是因為我們在江湖上 285 00:16:47,317 --> 00:16:50,358 是專門鑄造暗器和兵器的世家 286 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,942 你瞧瞧這個 是爹花了三年時間設計出來的 287 00:16:54,025 --> 00:16:55,775 叫做貞操寶甲 288 00:16:56,192 --> 00:16:57,150 貞操寶甲 289 00:16:57,567 --> 00:16:59,192 身上穿了這件寶甲 290 00:16:59,650 --> 00:17:02,817 只有我這把鑰匙才能夠打開 291 00:17:02,858 --> 00:17:06,233 要是有人敢侵犯你的話 292 00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,108 這對護胸刀 293 00:17:08,150 --> 00:17:11,567 和狗頭鍘 裏面的機關就會自動打開 294 00:17:11,692 --> 00:17:14,275 任何男人也不能佔你的便宜 295 00:17:14,692 --> 00:17:16,775 你 過來 抓她的波 296 00:17:19,442 --> 00:17:21,483 去呀! 297 00:17:27,483 --> 00:17:29,817 到你 298 00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:32,150 摸她的屁股 299 00:17:32,192 --> 00:17:34,942 去呀! 300 00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,567 來福 到你啦 301 00:17:41,608 --> 00:17:42,817 插她 302 00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:43,900 小的不敢 303 00:17:44,358 --> 00:17:46,233 我給你膽子 304 00:17:46,275 --> 00:17:47,567 不敢不敢 305 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:48,817 沒屌用 306 00:17:48,858 --> 00:17:51,067 我的屌早就沒用了 307 00:17:51,108 --> 00:17:53,192 看我的 308 00:18:01,483 --> 00:18:04,983 要是有人想直搗黃龍 探你的桃花洞的話 309 00:18:05,025 --> 00:18:07,650 狗頭鍘就會鍘他個粉碎 310 00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:10,067 只要你把這件寶甲穿上 311 00:18:10,108 --> 00:18:13,400 爹就放心讓你讀書 哈哈.. 312 00:18:18,733 --> 00:18:22,400 關關稚鳩 在河之州 313 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:26,358 關關稚鳩 在河之州 314 00:18:27,108 --> 00:18:29,983 窈窕淑女 君子好逑 315 00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:35,483 窈窕淑女 君子好逑 316 00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:41,567 老師…不關我的事 317 00:18:41,983 --> 00:18:43,567 還說不關你的事 318 00:18:43,608 --> 00:18:46,400 你推薦來的那個西門柔已經到了 319 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,233 我是西門柔 大家好 320 00:18:53,108 --> 00:18:56,275 老師 給我一次機會吧 321 00:18:58,150 --> 00:19:01,233 老師 還給我吧 很貴的 322 00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:06,192 這本辭典 不懂時可查看 323 00:19:06,233 --> 00:19:07,900 這個是磨墨的 324 00:19:07,942 --> 00:19:09,525 你們平時放學後有什麼消遣? 325 00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:11,650 吟詩作對 彈琴練劍 326 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:12,775 練劍? 327 00:19:12,817 --> 00:19:15,192 是呀 天天都比賽 328 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,650 現在還在後山比呢 329 00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:17,567 要不要看看? 330 00:19:17,608 --> 00:19:18,942 -好啊 -走 331 00:19:28,358 --> 00:19:31,233 他們有什麼了不起 全都不是我的對手 332 00:19:43,075 --> 00:19:45,825 給錢 全不是我楊巨長的對手 333 00:19:45,867 --> 00:19:46,783 還有誰來 334 00:19:46,825 --> 00:19:49,075 我來 335 00:19:49,117 --> 00:19:52,575 你?嘿 屌下敗將 336 00:19:52,617 --> 00:19:53,867 我告訴你 337 00:19:53,908 --> 00:19:55,408 我憋了幾個月才來的 338 00:19:55,450 --> 00:19:57,033 我不信贏不了你 339 00:19:57,075 --> 00:19:59,533 試試看 340 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,242 行不行呀你 那麼久 341 00:20:06,617 --> 00:20:09,408 擔心你自己吧 342 00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:11,492 加油… 343 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,867 加油… 344 00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:19,033 搞的腳都濕了? 345 00:20:19,575 --> 00:20:21,075 哎 怎麼像撒尿 346 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,908 想跟我鬥?除非你是童子身 347 00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:26,783 那個新生像個小孩子 348 00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:28,075 一定是童子身 349 00:20:29,450 --> 00:20:32,158 好 過去耍耍他 350 00:20:32,908 --> 00:20:34,158 你是不是童子身啊 351 00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:37,200 我們是不是兄弟 352 00:20:37,867 --> 00:20:38,450 是 是 353 00:20:38,658 --> 00:20:42,033 是兄弟就幫幫我嘛 就幫一次 354 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:44,325 -玩玩嘛? -不玩 不玩啦 355 00:20:47,825 --> 00:20:49,242 我都說不玩啦 356 00:20:49,908 --> 00:20:51,700 別逼他了 他不玩 357 00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:53,200 關你屌事? 358 00:20:53,283 --> 00:20:55,117 這次真的是關我屌事 359 00:21:00,825 --> 00:21:01,658 你怎麼樣啊? 360 00:21:01,908 --> 00:21:04,492 我沒事 不過小弟弟痛的要命 361 00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:06,617 快扶我回去擦點止痛藥吧 362 00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:08,367 好吧 363 00:21:09,492 --> 00:21:10,658 痛死我了 找到沒有 快點 364 00:21:10,825 --> 00:21:13,617 我在找 你別吵啊 365 00:21:13,617 --> 00:21:14,658 痛死我了 找到沒有啊 366 00:21:17,825 --> 00:21:19,783 找這麼久啊 你找到沒有啊? 367 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,325 咦 真難看 368 00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,575 我難看 你不也有嗎? 369 00:21:30,450 --> 00:21:31,742 你很舒服嗎? 370 00:24:06,033 --> 00:24:08,242 原來她女扮男裝 371 00:24:36,950 --> 00:24:38,908 這樣也行? 372 00:24:42,033 --> 00:24:44,908 真厲害呀 難怪全都中了傷了 373 00:24:45,908 --> 00:24:47,450 這東西太厲害了 划不來 374 00:24:48,658 --> 00:24:51,617 而且竊玉偷香非君子所為 375 00:24:51,992 --> 00:24:53,575 自己解決算了 376 00:25:13,617 --> 00:25:14,783 你幹什麼? 377 00:25:15,367 --> 00:25:19,242 給…夾…住…了 378 00:25:21,492 --> 00:25:23,450 花道他下體傷得很重呀 379 00:25:23,617 --> 00:25:26,325 老師 他會不會變成太監呀?怎麼辦啊 380 00:25:26,742 --> 00:25:28,242 他雖然自作自受 381 00:25:28,283 --> 00:25:31,075 你呀 女扮男裝讀書也不對呀 382 00:25:32,075 --> 00:25:34,117 這樣啦 你負責帶他去求醫 383 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,408 有醫生能治好他嗎? 384 00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:38,408 九宮山極樂觀有一位極樂道人 385 00:25:38,617 --> 00:25:41,825 懂得採陰補陽 一切邪門之法都懂 386 00:25:41,825 --> 00:25:44,533 你快點帶他去 他收費很貴的呀 387 00:25:44,575 --> 00:25:46,033 沒關係 再貴我也給 388 00:25:46,075 --> 00:25:46,950 你帶他去吧 389 00:25:48,325 --> 00:25:51,492 他只剩下那麼一點點 小心被鳥吃了呀 390 00:25:51,825 --> 00:25:54,575 那裏有很多小鳥呀 391 00:25:55,158 --> 00:25:56,742 轎夫 還有多遠呀? 392 00:25:56,783 --> 00:25:58,867 翻過這個山頭就到了 393 00:25:58,908 --> 00:26:00,367 你再忍半天吧 很快就到了 394 00:26:00,742 --> 00:26:03,783 我的命根子被你的護甲鍘到像個菜花一樣 395 00:26:03,825 --> 00:26:06,075 我的終身幸福讓你給毀了 396 00:26:06,117 --> 00:26:07,658 誰叫你好色呀 397 00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:09,867 等等我 398 00:26:10,533 --> 00:26:12,158 等等我 399 00:26:18,825 --> 00:26:21,367 痛死我了 400 00:26:28,117 --> 00:26:30,242 大夫 怎麼樣呀? 401 00:26:30,617 --> 00:26:33,992 你那小弟弟一根變二十幾根 救回來也沒用 402 00:26:34,117 --> 00:26:35,075 再把爛肉割掉 403 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,617 就算是娶貓做老婆 也會嫌你小呀 404 00:26:37,950 --> 00:26:38,992 啊 那怎麼辦? 405 00:26:39,075 --> 00:26:40,283 你也不用怕 406 00:26:40,325 --> 00:26:42,950 現在有三個方法 407 00:26:42,992 --> 00:26:45,242 第一就是把它切掉做太監 408 00:26:45,367 --> 00:26:46,325 或者是做男妓 409 00:26:46,575 --> 00:26:48,450 被男人玩 還可以賺錢呀 410 00:26:48,492 --> 00:26:49,908 那可不行 411 00:26:50,533 --> 00:26:53,033 沒問題 還有第二個方法 412 00:26:53,075 --> 00:26:54,908 就是乾脆挖深一點做女人 413 00:26:54,908 --> 00:26:56,908 到時候有男人疼你的 414 00:26:57,033 --> 00:26:58,242 做女人要生孩子 不行 415 00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:01,492 那就第三個辦法 換一根屌 416 00:27:01,825 --> 00:27:03,533 誰肯跟他換啊? 417 00:27:03,575 --> 00:27:04,658 我告訴你啊 418 00:27:04,658 --> 00:27:09,408 十年前我師兄肥鄭就給未央生換過一根馬屌 419 00:27:09,450 --> 00:27:11,283 效果非常好呀 420 00:27:11,325 --> 00:27:14,742 不管是黃花閨女還是淫娃蕩婦 421 00:27:14,783 --> 00:27:18,075 都向他投懷送抱 享盡人間艷福 422 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,700 真叫人羨慕 423 00:27:19,742 --> 00:27:21,158 可惜馬屌終歸是馬屌 424 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,075 干的多了同樣會精盡人亡 425 00:27:23,325 --> 00:27:26,200 所以我絞盡腦汁 苦思三年 426 00:27:26,242 --> 00:27:27,658 終於讓我想通了 427 00:27:27,700 --> 00:27:29,992 成功發明了機關屌 428 00:27:30,700 --> 00:27:33,325 機關屌是什麼東西呀? 429 00:27:33,992 --> 00:27:37,783 告訴你啊 這個機關屌很了不起的 430 00:27:38,158 --> 00:27:41,200 它有三十六種機關 可以伸長 431 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:42,575 縮短 432 00:27:42,617 --> 00:27:45,117 再伸長 開叉 433 00:27:45,158 --> 00:27:46,617 旋轉 434 00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:48,450 會轉的呀 435 00:27:48,492 --> 00:27:51,533 噴水 436 00:27:51,575 --> 00:27:54,742 噴煙 437 00:27:56,700 --> 00:28:00,283 其它我都明白 就是不明白噴煙有什麼用呀? 438 00:28:00,617 --> 00:28:04,908 噴煙可以增加詩情畫意 還有神秘感 439 00:28:05,533 --> 00:28:06,700 那有沒有感覺呢? 440 00:28:07,325 --> 00:28:09,617 這個就要看我的手工了 441 00:28:09,658 --> 00:28:11,617 不然你自己粘上去就可以了 442 00:28:11,658 --> 00:28:12,325 要多少錢? 443 00:28:12,492 --> 00:28:13,408 五千兩 444 00:28:13,617 --> 00:28:15,575 五千兩?你以為是真屌呀 445 00:28:15,617 --> 00:28:17,867 假屌不用錢嗎?假的也要錢的嘛 446 00:28:17,908 --> 00:28:18,908 太貴啦 447 00:28:18,950 --> 00:28:19,908 這玩意有三十六種機關的 448 00:28:19,950 --> 00:28:20,992 你根本是搶錢 449 00:28:22,075 --> 00:28:24,408 你們不要吵呀 我替他付 450 00:28:24,450 --> 00:28:26,533 -五千兩是吧? -你? 451 00:28:28,950 --> 00:28:30,075 小弟 夠爽快 452 00:28:30,158 --> 00:28:32,242 我大減價 送一撮屌毛 453 00:28:32,408 --> 00:28:33,783 你留著當牙刷吧 454 00:28:33,825 --> 00:28:35,950 那我省了 455 00:28:38,658 --> 00:28:39,450 請你出去 456 00:28:39,492 --> 00:28:41,408 不請我也出去 457 00:28:41,450 --> 00:28:43,450 你在外面等我呀 458 00:28:43,825 --> 00:28:46,117 快動手呀 錢都已經收了 459 00:28:46,117 --> 00:28:48,200 還不快點開工 快點 460 00:28:50,283 --> 00:28:53,908 喂 一本書 不用那麼恭敬吧 461 00:28:53,950 --> 00:28:57,325 你真是見識少 這本是玉女心經呀 462 00:28:57,575 --> 00:28:59,117 是合天地之靈氣 463 00:28:59,158 --> 00:29:03,283 除了一切醫學 陰陽之道之外 最後一章 464 00:29:03,325 --> 00:29:05,242 有一種采陰采陽之術 465 00:29:05,283 --> 00:29:06,908 練成之後可以幻化男女 466 00:29:07,075 --> 00:29:10,242 任意採補男性元陽和女性元陰 467 00:29:10,492 --> 00:29:13,908 還可以延年百歲呀 468 00:29:14,075 --> 00:29:16,200 那麼厲害你怎麼不練? 469 00:29:16,242 --> 00:29:20,825 我這付尊容 變成女人人家會說我貌醜 470 00:29:20,950 --> 00:29:22,658 幸虧你有自知之明 開工吧 471 00:29:22,700 --> 00:29:24,867 你這麼多話 叫你說不出話 472 00:29:27,700 --> 00:29:30,950 痛死我呀… 473 00:29:54,533 --> 00:29:55,533 來者何人? 474 00:29:55,575 --> 00:29:56,908 幻姬求見道長 475 00:29:56,950 --> 00:29:59,533 原來是幻姬女施主 請到精舍稍候 476 00:29:59,867 --> 00:30:01,325 請 477 00:30:13,908 --> 00:30:18,700 這雙眼睛 怎麼會那麼吸引我呢? 478 00:30:19,742 --> 00:30:21,617 我有一種感覺 479 00:30:21,658 --> 00:30:25,283 這雙眼睛好像跟我有千絲萬縷的關係 480 00:30:40,075 --> 00:30:42,408 道長 怎麼我還是沒反映啊? 481 00:30:42,450 --> 00:30:46,408 快有了 我把這縫好了就有了 482 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:48,367 對不起 483 00:30:48,408 --> 00:30:49,533 不關我的事呀 484 00:30:49,617 --> 00:30:51,408 我知道 485 00:31:01,533 --> 00:31:03,950 道長 我有反應了 有反應了 486 00:31:07,117 --> 00:31:09,075 不好了 道長 我停不下來 487 00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:10,700 我停不下來呀 488 00:31:12,367 --> 00:31:13,908 道長 你怎麼樣呀? 489 00:31:14,617 --> 00:31:16,367 很厲害呀 490 00:31:16,408 --> 00:31:18,617 我的牙都給你打掉了 491 00:31:18,658 --> 00:31:21,325 道長 我就是幻姬 492 00:31:21,325 --> 00:31:24,992 幻姬姑娘 你的信我看過了 我知道你的來意 493 00:31:25,075 --> 00:31:27,283 那麼請道長為小女子施術啦 494 00:31:27,325 --> 00:31:28,950 道長 行了沒有呀 495 00:31:28,992 --> 00:31:30,533 這樣多話 496 00:31:30,575 --> 00:31:31,450 把他抬進去 497 00:31:31,492 --> 00:31:33,117 是 498 00:31:33,242 --> 00:31:35,033 道長 我控制不了? 499 00:31:35,075 --> 00:31:37,408 快幫我把它弄停呀 道長 幫幫忙 500 00:31:40,992 --> 00:31:43,117 女施主 你要我幫你改容易貌 501 00:31:43,158 --> 00:31:45,158 莫非你相貌奇醜? 502 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,992 非也 我有迫不得已的苦衷 503 00:31:48,075 --> 00:31:49,617 你有什麼苦衷呀? 504 00:31:49,658 --> 00:31:51,408 道長不必過問 505 00:31:51,450 --> 00:31:54,367 只要道長幫小女子改容易貌 506 00:31:54,408 --> 00:31:58,075 我的身體就屬於道長你的了 507 00:32:16,158 --> 00:32:17,158 小兄弟 508 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:21,158 麻煩你通傳一聲 鐵中棠求見極樂道人 509 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:22,867 我並非極樂觀的人 510 00:32:23,075 --> 00:32:24,658 你有沒有看見有什麼人進去了? 511 00:32:25,158 --> 00:32:27,783 我看見剛才有個女人進去了 512 00:32:33,117 --> 00:32:36,200 大功告成 只有我才有這個能耐 513 00:32:37,492 --> 00:32:38,533 幻姬姑娘 從現在開始 514 00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:39,533 除了我之外 515 00:32:39,533 --> 00:32:42,492 天下再沒有人知道你本來的面貌了 516 00:32:42,533 --> 00:32:43,283 謝謝道長 517 00:32:43,492 --> 00:32:45,658 是你報答我的時候了 你看 518 00:32:46,825 --> 00:32:48,825 這張椅形如蠍子 有什麼用處呢? 519 00:32:48,867 --> 00:32:53,450 這張叫做極樂椅 只要把女人放在上面 520 00:32:53,492 --> 00:32:57,033 可以任意玩樂 玩什麼花式都可以 521 00:32:57,075 --> 00:32:59,033 賤妾願意服侍道長 522 00:32:59,075 --> 00:33:01,367 不過賤妾還有一個小小的要求 523 00:33:01,533 --> 00:33:02,658 你說吧 524 00:33:03,117 --> 00:33:06,367 我知道長有一本不傅之秘玉女心經 525 00:33:06,408 --> 00:33:09,283 我想開開眼界 526 00:33:09,325 --> 00:33:11,033 有什麼好看呀 527 00:33:11,075 --> 00:33:13,867 道長 讓我看看啦 528 00:33:13,908 --> 00:33:17,450 我會好好侍候你的 要不要試一試呢? 529 00:33:17,450 --> 00:33:19,075 這不太方便的 530 00:33:19,117 --> 00:33:21,575 你不是很想得到我的身體嗎? 531 00:33:21,617 --> 00:33:27,492 讓我們一起到極樂世界去吧 532 00:33:27,533 --> 00:33:30,367 那 你看一會好啦 533 00:33:30,492 --> 00:33:32,158 你放心吧 道長 534 00:33:32,367 --> 00:33:37,033 小女子只是借之一閱 很快就會歸還的 535 00:33:41,283 --> 00:33:44,367 糟糕 雷電交叉 它又出來作惡了 536 00:34:42,783 --> 00:34:46,242 我們來晚一步 極樂道人被她吸盡元陽而死 537 00:34:46,283 --> 00:34:47,992 你說的她是誰呀? 538 00:34:48,033 --> 00:34:49,908 是妖道幻姬 539 00:34:49,950 --> 00:34:52,408 救命呀! 540 00:34:52,450 --> 00:34:53,283 你又攪什麼鬼呀? 541 00:34:53,325 --> 00:34:55,158 阿柔 你快幫我把它弄停 542 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:56,783 -怎麼弄啊 -快點啊 543 00:34:57,242 --> 00:34:57,950 快把它弄停呀 544 00:34:58,158 --> 00:34:59,617 不然就糟了 快點呀 545 00:34:59,908 --> 00:35:01,575 停了… 546 00:35:03,658 --> 00:35:06,450 暈頭轉向的 快扶著我呀 547 00:35:06,658 --> 00:35:07,533 這是什麼? 548 00:35:07,617 --> 00:35:09,158 玉女心經呀 549 00:35:09,325 --> 00:35:10,908 一定是幻姬留下來的 550 00:35:10,992 --> 00:35:11,617 沒有了一半啊 551 00:35:11,783 --> 00:35:15,575 這是寶物 快藏起來 別讓人看見 552 00:35:19,367 --> 00:35:21,533 極樂道人他怎麼了… 553 00:35:22,367 --> 00:35:24,992 原來幻姬來找極樂道人幫她易容 554 00:35:25,033 --> 00:35:27,242 現在不知道變成什麼樣子了 555 00:35:27,283 --> 00:35:29,700 要抓她更加難上加難 556 00:35:29,742 --> 00:35:33,617 是呀 剛才我聽見他們在這幹得可厲害了 557 00:35:33,658 --> 00:35:36,075 幻姬是女妖道 修練採陰補陽之法 558 00:35:36,117 --> 00:35:38,533 專采男人元陽 559 00:35:38,575 --> 00:35:40,408 已經被她害死了好幾百人 560 00:35:40,908 --> 00:35:42,242 被她害死的人 561 00:35:42,283 --> 00:35:44,283 全身的精元都被她吸乾 562 00:35:44,325 --> 00:35:48,158 她是靠吸取別人的精元來增加自己的妖術 563 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,450 我奉命追捕她 由北到南 564 00:35:50,492 --> 00:35:53,075 追了七個省 都被她跑掉 565 00:35:53,117 --> 00:35:56,408 我知道她想得到極樂觀的一本玉女心經 566 00:35:56,450 --> 00:35:57,950 練採陰補陽之法 567 00:35:57,992 --> 00:36:00,533 當她的妖術練到最高境界 568 00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:03,658 變男變女 隨心所欲 569 00:36:03,867 --> 00:36:06,033 沒這麼可怕吧? 570 00:36:07,492 --> 00:36:09,075 那我們該怎麼辦? 571 00:36:09,117 --> 00:36:12,325 我擔心她得手後 妖術會更厲害 572 00:36:12,408 --> 00:36:15,283 到時候就有更多無辜的人受害 573 00:36:15,325 --> 00:36:18,408 小兄弟 你剛才有沒有看見她易容後的樣子? 574 00:36:18,700 --> 00:36:20,825 -沒有 -我認得她的眼睛 575 00:36:20,867 --> 00:36:22,533 你們要是有幻姬的消息 576 00:36:22,533 --> 00:36:24,658 就到本縣的衙門通知我 577 00:36:24,700 --> 00:36:28,783 我看她暫時還會在南方作惡 578 00:36:28,825 --> 00:36:31,325 我可以留在本鎮一段時間 579 00:36:31,367 --> 00:36:34,408 那好 一有消息我就通知你 大哥 580 00:36:34,450 --> 00:36:35,950 叫我鐵中棠 581 00:36:36,408 --> 00:36:38,450 我走了 582 00:36:41,450 --> 00:36:43,075 一個捕快 有什麼了不起的 583 00:36:43,117 --> 00:36:46,075 這才像個男人嘛 像你呀? 584 00:36:46,908 --> 00:36:48,742 前面那部分 肯定是幻姬拿走了 585 00:36:48,992 --> 00:36:53,200 你可別小看它 就這一半也是寶呀 586 00:36:53,283 --> 00:36:55,742 將來一定用的著的 587 00:36:56,450 --> 00:36:57,950 好點沒有? 588 00:36:57,992 --> 00:36:59,200 好點了吧 走 589 00:36:59,450 --> 00:37:00,950 又想吃我豆腐 590 00:37:02,492 --> 00:37:04,075 喂 你怎麼搖搖晃晃的? 591 00:37:04,117 --> 00:37:07,117 我的頭還暈著呢 你別再來刺激我了 592 00:37:07,158 --> 00:37:09,450 到我家養好傷再回書院吧 593 00:37:09,783 --> 00:37:11,575 前面的新娘子長的很漂亮呀 594 00:37:11,617 --> 00:37:13,700 真的 快去看看… 595 00:37:23,325 --> 00:37:24,867 許伯 誰成親? 596 00:37:24,867 --> 00:37:27,367 你大哥呀 597 00:37:27,408 --> 00:37:29,242 山下的李大傻交不起田租 598 00:37:29,283 --> 00:37:31,950 你爹要逼他女兒小翠嫁給你的傻大哥 599 00:37:32,450 --> 00:37:34,450 回去看看吧 600 00:37:34,492 --> 00:37:36,700 我們也去湊熱鬧 601 00:37:40,742 --> 00:37:44,117 操他奶奶的 新娘子到現在還沒來! 602 00:37:44,158 --> 00:37:46,575 老爺 快到了 603 00:37:46,617 --> 00:37:51,408 新娘子到了… 604 00:37:51,450 --> 00:37:56,075 落地開花 富貴榮華 連生貴子 605 00:38:04,825 --> 00:38:06,533 坐在中間那個就是你爹 606 00:38:06,575 --> 00:38:07,575 蠻威風的 607 00:38:07,658 --> 00:38:10,408 老爺 新娘子到了 608 00:38:25,992 --> 00:38:29,033 -這個新娘子長的真漂亮呀 -是呀… 609 00:38:29,075 --> 00:38:33,200 這麼正點的妞 便宜了那個傻小子 610 00:38:49,700 --> 00:38:51,075 來吧 可以拜堂了 611 00:38:51,117 --> 00:38:53,283 放下 走開 612 00:38:53,325 --> 00:38:54,325 爹… 613 00:38:54,367 --> 00:38:56,325 爹 我回來了 614 00:38:56,367 --> 00:38:57,617 你肯回來了嗎? 615 00:38:57,658 --> 00:38:59,242 這個是我同窗好友花道 616 00:38:59,283 --> 00:39:00,950 伯父 你好… 我叫… 617 00:39:00,992 --> 00:39:03,033 小子 618 00:39:03,617 --> 00:39:05,658 看你這個樣子可不太老實呀? 619 00:39:05,658 --> 00:39:09,408 老爺 還是先拜堂吧 誤了吉時就不太好了 620 00:39:09,575 --> 00:39:11,117 說得對 621 00:39:11,117 --> 00:39:12,408 來 拜堂 622 00:39:12,450 --> 00:39:14,492 拜堂… 623 00:39:14,533 --> 00:39:19,450 老爺 不是你呀 624 00:39:19,492 --> 00:39:22,033 是少爺呀 625 00:39:24,450 --> 00:39:27,117 你他媽走運了 626 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:26,242 小子 627 00:40:26,283 --> 00:40:32,117 西門家要開枝散葉 兒孫滿堂的責任全靠你了 628 00:40:32,158 --> 00:40:33,658 快進洞房吧 629 00:40:33,700 --> 00:40:35,117 爹 我不會洞房呀 630 00:40:35,158 --> 00:40:36,658 你這個傻小子什麼都不會 631 00:40:36,658 --> 00:40:38,450 要不要我替你洞房啊? 632 00:40:38,617 --> 00:40:39,533 好呀… 633 00:40:39,700 --> 00:40:42,367 操 你以為爹不想嗎?不過… 634 00:40:42,408 --> 00:40:44,742 進去吧 635 00:40:45,283 --> 00:40:46,117 老爺 636 00:40:46,158 --> 00:40:48,742 還不睡覺去?賴著幹什麼?走! 637 00:40:48,783 --> 00:40:50,575 好 638 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:05,033 老爺 到時候睡覺了… 639 00:41:05,075 --> 00:41:06,575 你回來幹什麼?想偷看啊? 640 00:41:06,742 --> 00:41:08,533 -不是… -走 641 00:41:18,075 --> 00:41:20,075 抓她的波 642 00:41:20,117 --> 00:41:22,117 脫她的衣服 643 00:41:22,117 --> 00:41:25,325 抓她的波呀… 644 00:41:25,492 --> 00:41:27,158 沒用的東西 645 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,242 開門 646 00:41:28,283 --> 00:41:31,200 開門呀… 647 00:41:31,283 --> 00:41:31,908 什麼事啊 爹? 648 00:41:32,033 --> 00:41:35,617 小子呀 你他媽的忙了半天 忙什麼呢? 649 00:41:35,617 --> 00:41:38,283 剝她的衣服 親她的嘴 抓她的波 650 00:41:38,367 --> 00:41:39,325 然後就上馬嘛 651 00:41:39,492 --> 00:41:40,867 上馬?怎麼上呀? 652 00:41:40,908 --> 00:41:42,700 你他媽的怎麼教都不會呀 653 00:41:42,908 --> 00:41:44,700 把你撒尿的地方放進她撒尿的地方 654 00:41:44,867 --> 00:41:47,575 不就行了嗎? 655 00:41:48,658 --> 00:41:52,158 小翠呀 你跟小龍慢慢來 啊 656 00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:53,825 去吧 657 00:41:54,617 --> 00:41:57,367 把你的東西拿出來 放進去 658 00:41:58,242 --> 00:42:01,242 -別怕呀! -啊… 659 00:42:01,617 --> 00:42:03,408 怎麼生了這麼個蠢兒子 660 00:42:05,450 --> 00:42:07,117 不用給她面子啦 661 00:42:10,617 --> 00:42:11,992 別怕呀 來… 662 00:42:12,242 --> 00:42:15,033 不要啊 走開呀 663 00:42:15,075 --> 00:42:17,908 我怎麼生了個這麼笨的兒子 你給我過來 664 00:42:18,075 --> 00:42:20,367 你知不知道 你在幹什麼呀? 665 00:42:20,367 --> 00:42:21,992 洞房嘛 666 00:42:22,033 --> 00:42:22,742 洞房? 667 00:42:22,908 --> 00:42:24,992 你拿著尿壺幹什麼 叫洞房? 668 00:42:25,033 --> 00:42:25,950 是你教我的 669 00:42:25,950 --> 00:42:28,492 把我撒尿的地方放進她撒尿的地方 670 00:42:29,658 --> 00:42:31,533 氣死我了 671 00:42:33,492 --> 00:42:36,283 有玩意也不會用 672 00:42:41,242 --> 00:42:44,283 小翠 673 00:42:44,325 --> 00:42:46,033 你沒事吧? 674 00:42:46,075 --> 00:42:50,658 不怕 小龍不疼你 公公疼你 675 00:43:01,700 --> 00:43:04,867 不要… 676 00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:14,867 小翠 你應該屬於我的 677 00:44:15,783 --> 00:44:19,658 公公 小翠以後一定會被人說閒話 678 00:44:19,700 --> 00:44:23,908 人言可畏 不如…一死了之 679 00:44:23,950 --> 00:44:27,742 傻丫頭 誰敢說你的閒話 680 00:44:27,783 --> 00:44:30,242 我要他全家的命 681 00:44:31,075 --> 00:44:35,908 以後 白天你跟傻子做一對假夫妻 682 00:44:36,325 --> 00:44:42,783 到了晚上 你再跟我做一對真龍鳳 683 00:44:53,283 --> 00:44:56,492 為什麼老爺那麼遲都不出來 684 00:44:57,492 --> 00:45:00,242 是呀 這幾天他天天躲在房裏 685 00:45:00,283 --> 00:45:01,533 沒出來敲過鑼 686 00:45:01,658 --> 00:45:03,617 該不會是生病了吧 687 00:45:03,658 --> 00:45:09,033 不會啊 他胃口好得很啊 連一頭牛也吃的下 688 00:45:09,075 --> 00:45:10,908 他十天沒敲鑼了 689 00:45:11,367 --> 00:45:14,158 我呢 才不相他呢 690 00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,950 一定有原因的 691 00:45:17,617 --> 00:45:20,242 老爺今天夜上在大娘房休息 692 00:45:24,575 --> 00:45:28,450 又沒有我的份兒了 693 00:45:29,283 --> 00:45:31,200 好 我看你搞什麼鬼? 694 00:47:47,033 --> 00:47:50,158 公公呀 使勁 695 00:47:51,617 --> 00:47:52,992 使勁 696 00:48:00,242 --> 00:48:04,033 喂 老爺跟他媳婦在做見不得人的事啊 697 00:48:05,075 --> 00:48:07,783 -不會吧 -我親眼見到的 698 00:48:08,575 --> 00:48:09,992 家醜不可外傅! 699 00:48:10,033 --> 00:48:12,908 我們老爺性子剛強 勸他也沒用 700 00:48:12,950 --> 00:48:17,242 我們先守秘密 等待時機再勸他吧 701 00:50:17,908 --> 00:50:18,700 是二娘 702 00:50:19,242 --> 00:50:23,867 真可惜! 703 00:50:26,950 --> 00:50:27,825 幹什麼? 704 00:50:28,325 --> 00:50:32,408 老爺 她死得那麼恐怖 我看應該報官吧? 705 00:50:32,742 --> 00:50:35,867 報官有個屁用?這個鎮我就是官! 706 00:50:35,950 --> 00:50:38,658 爹 二娘死的很可疑呀 707 00:50:39,408 --> 00:50:40,408 公公 708 00:50:40,492 --> 00:50:43,783 昨天晚上 我看見二娘手裏拿著包東西 709 00:50:43,867 --> 00:50:45,992 跟兩個男人出去了 710 00:50:46,242 --> 00:50:49,242 我見他們鬼鬼祟祟的 不知道上哪兒去了 711 00:50:50,033 --> 00:50:51,700 真有這樣的事? 712 00:50:51,742 --> 00:50:54,325 來福 看看二娘的首飾還在不在 -是 713 00:50:54,575 --> 00:50:55,950 你真機警啊 714 00:50:55,992 --> 00:50:57,575 老爺 什麼都沒有了 715 00:50:58,075 --> 00:51:00,242 事情就這樣簡單 716 00:51:00,325 --> 00:51:04,533 這個臭娘們偷漢子!然後跟人傢俬奔! 717 00:51:04,575 --> 00:51:07,742 誰知道人家要錢不要人!就殺了她! 718 00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:12,033 可是二娘全身赤裸 而且一身都是血啊 719 00:51:12,075 --> 00:51:13,617 肯定是那兩個傢伙分贓不均 720 00:51:13,825 --> 00:51:17,075 或是賺錢少 所以叫幾個兄弟來將她輪姦 721 00:51:17,117 --> 00:51:18,825 一個接一個 722 00:51:18,867 --> 00:51:20,408 你看看她 723 00:51:20,575 --> 00:51:24,033 全身有洞的地方都裂開了 還流著血 724 00:51:24,075 --> 00:51:26,450 簡直就像被二十幾個人輪姦似的! 725 00:51:26,867 --> 00:51:28,783 老爺 現在怎麼辦啊? 726 00:51:28,825 --> 00:51:30,617 家醜不可外傅! 727 00:51:30,658 --> 00:51:31,617 -來福 -是 728 00:51:31,783 --> 00:51:33,658 隨便找個地方把她埋了算了 729 00:51:33,992 --> 00:51:36,908 爹 我看事情沒那麼簡單啊 730 00:51:37,533 --> 00:51:39,033 我一定要查清楚 731 00:51:39,033 --> 00:51:41,992 看誰吃了豹子膽敢勾引我老婆! 732 00:51:42,158 --> 00:51:43,950 這件事你別管了 733 00:51:43,992 --> 00:51:46,492 小翠 以後小心一點 734 00:51:46,533 --> 00:51:49,533 不如我們先回房去吧? 735 00:52:00,075 --> 00:52:01,367 真的? 736 00:52:01,408 --> 00:52:03,492 難怪爹老幫著她 737 00:52:03,533 --> 00:52:04,283 喂 什麼事? 738 00:52:04,450 --> 00:52:05,742 多事啊 739 00:52:05,783 --> 00:52:08,200 晚上我們去驗屍啊 740 00:52:14,408 --> 00:52:17,075 她的死法好像玉女心經上寫的一樣 741 00:52:17,908 --> 00:52:20,075 採補元陰 吸星大法? 742 00:52:20,158 --> 00:52:23,408 御女至將洩未洩之時 十陽齊出 743 00:52:23,450 --> 00:52:25,533 貫其體 吸其真陰 744 00:52:25,617 --> 00:52:29,075 功力倍增 幻化陰陽 隨心所欲 745 00:52:29,367 --> 00:52:31,783 十陽齊出 不可能吧? 746 00:52:31,783 --> 00:52:35,450 可是她全身好像被人強姦過似的 747 00:52:35,492 --> 00:52:40,825 真陰被采之女 腹內空無一物 無藥可救 748 00:52:40,867 --> 00:52:42,575 把她肚子剖開看看 749 00:52:43,117 --> 00:52:45,283 你來吧 750 00:52:51,658 --> 00:52:53,742 請別見怪啊 751 00:52:55,617 --> 00:52:57,575 裏邊真的什麼也沒有啊! 752 00:52:57,617 --> 00:53:00,617 腸子胃呀腎呀什麼都沒有!連子宮都沒有了! 753 00:53:01,242 --> 00:53:02,450 難道是幻姬干的? 754 00:53:02,700 --> 00:53:05,825 錯不了 只有她懂採陰補陽 755 00:53:05,867 --> 00:53:07,242 那現在怎麼辦? 756 00:53:07,742 --> 00:53:08,825 我也沒有辦法 757 00:53:09,325 --> 00:53:11,117 花道 你去找鐵捕頭? 758 00:53:11,158 --> 00:53:12,450 鐵中棠? 759 00:53:12,492 --> 00:53:14,367 只有他對付得了幻姬 760 00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:16,450 我懷疑幻姬就在我們家裏 761 00:53:16,908 --> 00:53:18,200 你懷疑? 762 00:53:18,242 --> 00:53:19,950 我覺得小翠很可疑 763 00:53:19,992 --> 00:53:22,117 -你千萬別讓她知道我們來過 -好 764 00:53:22,367 --> 00:53:23,867 去吧 765 00:53:23,908 --> 00:53:27,367 替你幹活 你還要打人? 766 00:53:27,408 --> 00:53:28,700 我們回去 767 00:53:30,825 --> 00:53:33,908 關門了 輕點 768 00:53:33,950 --> 00:53:36,575 小心點 千萬別讓她知道我們去了哪裏 769 00:53:36,867 --> 00:53:37,617 記住 770 00:53:38,117 --> 00:53:39,742 這麼晚了 上哪去啊? 771 00:53:39,783 --> 00:53:41,742 我們去柴房捉老鼠 772 00:53:41,783 --> 00:53:45,075 -是嗎?柴房是石地也有老鼠? -是啊 773 00:53:45,617 --> 00:53:46,658 你們有沒有追到街上呀? 774 00:53:46,700 --> 00:53:48,450 沒有 捉完了 775 00:53:48,450 --> 00:53:50,617 我們休息了 走啦 776 00:54:08,533 --> 00:54:12,242 給我 讓我玩玩 777 00:54:13,367 --> 00:54:14,533 真奇怪 778 00:54:14,700 --> 00:54:17,742 小翠看來好像個不通世務的小女孩 779 00:54:17,783 --> 00:54:21,075 怎麼會跟爹做出亂倫的行為呢? 780 00:54:21,075 --> 00:54:24,950 二娘又怎麼會死呢?難道不是她幹的? 781 00:54:32,575 --> 00:54:35,825 相公 782 00:54:37,908 --> 00:54:41,700 大哥!他怎麼會摔下去的? 783 00:54:42,242 --> 00:54:47,408 我不知道 他走到崖邊 一不小心就摔下去了 784 00:54:47,992 --> 00:54:51,075 相公! 785 00:55:02,033 --> 00:55:03,992 真是家門不幸! 786 00:55:04,033 --> 00:55:08,492 九代單傅這麼一個兒子 出了這樣的意外 787 00:55:08,533 --> 00:55:12,783 小龍!你放心吧!我會照顧小翠的! 788 00:55:12,825 --> 00:55:14,575 為了給我們西門家留後! 789 00:55:14,575 --> 00:55:16,492 為了補償小翠的痛楚! 790 00:55:16,533 --> 00:55:21,367 我西門堅現在宣佈:納小翠為第五房妾侍 791 00:55:21,408 --> 00:55:23,450 家公娶媳婦 真是笑話 792 00:55:23,617 --> 00:55:24,617 這是亂倫! 793 00:55:24,658 --> 00:55:27,075 管它什麼倫都是人編出來的 794 00:55:27,325 --> 00:55:28,408 這個鎮我說了算 795 00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:30,533 大哥屍骨未寒 你就納小翠為妾? 796 00:55:30,658 --> 00:55:31,908 大哥死也不瞑目! 797 00:55:32,158 --> 00:55:36,700 操 誰說不瞑目?你來看看瞑不瞑目 798 00:55:39,367 --> 00:55:41,658 臭小子 活著我沒撈著什麼好處 799 00:55:41,658 --> 00:55:43,200 死了還要嚇你爹! 800 00:55:43,367 --> 00:55:45,575 爹要這麼做!我就走 永遠也不回來! 801 00:55:45,617 --> 00:55:47,533 你說什麼?住嘴! 802 00:55:47,533 --> 00:55:50,617 你們他媽的再張嘴 我就都饒不了你們! 803 00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:54,033 鐵捕頭? 804 00:55:56,158 --> 00:55:57,408 你是什麼人? 805 00:55:57,450 --> 00:55:59,658 刑部一級捕快鐵中棠 806 00:55:59,700 --> 00:56:00,992 來幹什麼? 807 00:56:01,033 --> 00:56:04,117 我奉命來追捕採陰補陽的妖道幻姬 808 00:56:04,158 --> 00:56:05,825 我懷疑她就在本鎮! 809 00:56:06,408 --> 00:56:09,075 幻姬?她是什麼人啊? 810 00:56:09,158 --> 00:56:11,700 她得到一本叫本玉女心經的邪門秘笈 811 00:56:11,700 --> 00:56:13,867 採陰補陽的功力極高 812 00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:17,242 專門吸取女性元陰來加強功力 813 00:56:17,283 --> 00:56:19,325 已經有不少人遭到她的毒手! 814 00:56:19,658 --> 00:56:21,783 她會在附近繼續作惡 815 00:56:21,950 --> 00:56:25,325 我懷疑你的二娘就是被幻姬害死的 816 00:56:25,575 --> 00:56:27,658 既然這樣 還不他媽的抓她? 817 00:56:27,700 --> 00:56:33,242 我懷疑你們新加入的成員 就是幻姬的化身 818 00:56:33,242 --> 00:56:34,575 什麼? 819 00:56:34,992 --> 00:56:35,783 誰呀 820 00:56:35,950 --> 00:56:37,575 你說 誰? 821 00:56:37,908 --> 00:56:40,325 誰呀?你說呀? 822 00:56:40,367 --> 00:56:42,283 就是她! 823 00:56:42,325 --> 00:56:44,492 混帳!她手無搏雞之力 824 00:56:44,700 --> 00:56:46,033 會是兇手嗎? 825 00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:49,783 天下最毒的蛇都是五彩斑斕!非常吸引人! 826 00:56:49,825 --> 00:56:52,783 可是當你被它咬一口之後 你就知道它有多毒 827 00:56:52,950 --> 00:56:54,658 到時候就太晚了 828 00:56:54,700 --> 00:56:56,367 操 不知道你在說什麼? 829 00:56:56,408 --> 00:56:59,450 小翠現在是我老婆 你碰她一根毫毛 830 00:56:59,492 --> 00:57:00,575 我就要你的命! 831 00:57:00,617 --> 00:57:02,283 你真是冥頑不靈! 832 00:57:02,325 --> 00:57:04,658 這個鎮上 我隨時可以調動上千人 833 00:57:04,908 --> 00:57:07,200 就算你再能打 也跑不了 834 00:57:07,242 --> 00:57:08,158 想不想試試? 835 00:57:08,325 --> 00:57:10,283 我今天來不是要跟你打架 836 00:57:10,325 --> 00:57:13,450 當我有足夠證據的時候 我會再來找你 837 00:57:14,825 --> 00:57:16,617 你自己好自為之吧 838 00:57:16,992 --> 00:57:18,992 小兄弟 離開這裏會安全一點 839 00:57:19,408 --> 00:57:21,450 鐵捕頭 我跟你走 840 00:57:21,492 --> 00:57:24,033 死丫頭 你竟敢不聽我的話 841 00:57:24,033 --> 00:57:25,867 你跟他走 以後就別回來! 842 00:57:26,325 --> 00:57:28,033 有沒有嚇著你啊 843 00:57:28,075 --> 00:57:31,700 放心 有我在這 誰也不用怕 844 00:58:21,283 --> 00:58:23,742 小翠是你阿爹強娶的窮家女 845 00:58:23,783 --> 00:58:25,575 既然大家都覺得她可疑 846 00:58:25,617 --> 00:58:29,783 就到她家裏質問她父母 說不定會有線索 847 00:58:31,367 --> 00:58:34,242 這兒好像沒有什麼人氣呀? 848 00:58:49,033 --> 00:58:52,117 快去拿些藥來 849 00:59:05,158 --> 00:59:07,075 小翠? 850 00:59:21,533 --> 00:59:23,408 屍體呀 851 00:59:27,742 --> 00:59:31,158 是三條乾屍 看來已經死了好幾個月了 852 00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:32,325 你是說小翠她… 853 00:59:32,367 --> 00:59:34,783 看來真正的小翠和她的父母 854 00:59:34,825 --> 00:59:36,867 早已經不在人世了 855 00:59:36,908 --> 00:59:38,700 你家裏的那個小翠 856 00:59:38,742 --> 00:59:40,283 是幻姬的化身 857 00:59:40,367 --> 00:59:42,200 她為了逃避我 躲到你家裏 858 00:59:42,242 --> 00:59:43,617 修練玉女心經 859 00:59:43,658 --> 00:59:45,158 那爹不是很危險嗎? 860 00:59:45,158 --> 00:59:46,950 馬上回去 861 00:59:48,117 --> 00:59:49,200 怎麼了? 862 00:59:49,242 --> 00:59:51,200 鐵捕頭 外面有埋伏 863 01:00:12,992 --> 01:00:14,283 爹! 864 01:00:16,867 --> 01:00:18,492 鐵捕頭 你怎麼樣? 865 01:00:21,492 --> 01:00:23,617 死丫頭 你幫外人 866 01:00:23,658 --> 01:00:26,408 爹 你瘋了?殺官差罪名很大的 867 01:00:26,450 --> 01:00:29,950 你滾開呀!死了就乾淨了 868 01:00:30,950 --> 01:00:32,950 怎麼說我也不走 你連我也殺了吧 869 01:00:33,492 --> 01:00:35,450 鐵捕頭 我們走 870 01:00:35,992 --> 01:00:37,533 老爺 追不追啊? 871 01:00:37,575 --> 01:00:38,783 不用追了 872 01:00:38,825 --> 01:00:41,283 他中了娘子給我泡製的烈火箭 873 01:00:41,325 --> 01:00:43,658 半個時辰內沒有女人跟他交合 874 01:00:43,700 --> 01:00:46,283 他就會爆陽而死 875 01:00:47,117 --> 01:00:50,492 老爺 小姐跟他在一起 怕不怕… 876 01:00:50,783 --> 01:00:52,533 當然不怕啦 877 01:00:52,575 --> 01:00:55,283 我女兒有貞操寶甲護身 878 01:00:55,325 --> 01:00:59,950 他能看 吃不著 死得更難受 879 01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,408 好 我們回去 880 01:01:10,075 --> 01:01:12,908 這有間廟 我們進去避一避 881 01:01:21,367 --> 01:01:22,783 你怎麼樣? 882 01:01:22,825 --> 01:01:24,658 我全身像要裂開一樣 883 01:01:25,158 --> 01:01:27,075 中的是毒箭 884 01:01:28,742 --> 01:01:29,658 毒箭? 885 01:01:29,700 --> 01:01:31,283 爹從來不用毒箭的 886 01:01:31,450 --> 01:01:33,617 一定是幻姬教他用的 887 01:01:33,658 --> 01:01:34,992 是幻姬? 888 01:01:35,033 --> 01:01:37,950 那玉女心經可能有解毒的方法 889 01:01:38,950 --> 01:01:42,200 好熱呀!好熱呀! 890 01:01:45,367 --> 01:01:46,700 有了 891 01:01:46,742 --> 01:01:48,825 烈火箭乃天下至淫至毒的毒箭 892 01:01:48,867 --> 01:01:52,200 中者全身發熱 陽物漲大 893 01:01:52,242 --> 01:01:54,158 若是半個時辰之內 894 01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:56,617 無女性與之交合 陰陽調和 895 01:01:56,658 --> 01:02:01,825 中者必將全身爆裂 陽具爆血而死 896 01:02:03,867 --> 01:02:05,617 好陰毒! 897 01:02:07,075 --> 01:02:09,825 我…我背你到妓院去 898 01:02:09,867 --> 01:02:11,325 來不及了 899 01:02:11,367 --> 01:02:13,867 西門小兄弟 你快走 900 01:02:13,908 --> 01:02:16,867 算我鐵中棠命該如此 901 01:02:18,242 --> 01:02:20,783 好難受 902 01:02:27,242 --> 01:02:29,867 其實我是個女兒家 903 01:02:29,908 --> 01:02:31,658 是我把你救來的 904 01:02:31,700 --> 01:02:33,242 我不能眼看著你死啊 905 01:02:34,117 --> 01:02:36,492 我要是不救你 就沒有人能救你了 906 01:02:39,783 --> 01:02:43,367 可是我這身護甲 是打不開的 907 01:02:45,533 --> 01:02:47,492 我要借你的雁翔刀一用 908 01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:54,867 不行 小兄弟 不…小姐 不行… 909 01:04:47,825 --> 01:04:49,825 小翠… 910 01:04:54,283 --> 01:04:56,533 小翠 出來呀 911 01:04:57,408 --> 01:04:58,242 相公回來啦 912 01:04:58,533 --> 01:05:01,658 那些王八蛋捕快全讓我殺光了 913 01:05:01,700 --> 01:05:03,408 相公真是智勇雙全 914 01:05:03,450 --> 01:05:05,783 快上來 我們喝杯酒慶賀慶賀 915 01:05:06,117 --> 01:05:07,992 好啊 916 01:05:13,325 --> 01:05:15,908 這是什麼酒啊?又香又醇! 917 01:05:16,242 --> 01:05:18,908 是波斯來的蝕骨銷魂酒 918 01:05:19,117 --> 01:05:22,783 喝完之後勁頭十足 特別暢快 919 01:05:23,158 --> 01:05:27,617 那可得多喝點了 用壺干吧 920 01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:37,242 真是痛快! 921 01:05:53,742 --> 01:05:56,742 娘子 我們上床吧 922 01:06:06,617 --> 01:06:08,742 來呀 你來抓我吧 923 01:06:09,992 --> 01:06:12,408 好呀 924 01:06:20,325 --> 01:06:22,742 喂 別玩了 快過來吧 925 01:06:22,950 --> 01:06:24,408 我就不過來 926 01:06:24,617 --> 01:06:27,950 你看 像把劍一樣 不方便了嘛 927 01:06:28,867 --> 01:06:30,575 我才不管呢 928 01:06:30,658 --> 01:06:32,408 好 你這是吊我胃口 929 01:06:32,408 --> 01:06:35,367 我可六親不認 我要翻臉啦 930 01:06:35,408 --> 01:06:36,492 翻臉又怎麼樣 931 01:06:38,325 --> 01:06:42,492 這種酒叫蝕骨銷魂金槍不倒七日射血酒 932 01:06:42,533 --> 01:06:45,033 喝了會金槍不倒 不斷交合 933 01:06:45,075 --> 01:06:46,992 七日之後會射血而死 934 01:06:47,408 --> 01:06:50,533 如果要是一柱香的時間都沒有女人跟你交合 935 01:06:50,783 --> 01:06:52,492 你就會陽裂而死 936 01:06:52,867 --> 01:06:55,075 陽裂?就是屌斷啊? 937 01:06:55,117 --> 01:06:58,992 這就是你貪淫好色的報應 938 01:07:09,658 --> 01:07:11,825 不怕 還有三娘 939 01:07:19,242 --> 01:07:21,492 就剩半截了? 940 01:07:29,533 --> 01:07:31,450 好辛苦呀 941 01:07:31,492 --> 01:07:35,533 我要女人 我要女人呀! 942 01:07:35,575 --> 01:07:37,783 好辛苦呀… 943 01:07:37,825 --> 01:07:41,658 好痛呀… 944 01:08:18,658 --> 01:08:19,700 原來你們在這 945 01:08:19,867 --> 01:08:25,325 怎麼搞的?甩下我太不講義氣了 946 01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:31,617 完了… 947 01:08:31,658 --> 01:08:33,825 護甲都劈開了 什麼都完了 948 01:08:33,867 --> 01:08:35,575 我們沒什麼的 949 01:08:37,325 --> 01:08:40,742 小兄弟 阿柔已經是我的妻子 950 01:08:40,783 --> 01:08:44,492 她捨身救我 我是絕對不會辜負她的 951 01:08:44,575 --> 01:08:45,700 我來遲一步 952 01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:50,242 被你捷足先登了 你有種 953 01:08:50,658 --> 01:08:51,992 你別生氣 954 01:08:52,533 --> 01:08:54,450 這玉女心經我看過了 955 01:08:54,492 --> 01:08:57,450 知道幻姬練的是採陰補陽之術 956 01:08:57,492 --> 01:08:59,283 一到雷電交加之夜 957 01:08:59,283 --> 01:09:01,117 就會淫興大發 958 01:09:01,158 --> 01:09:05,200 幻化男女雙身吸取元陽元陰 959 01:09:05,242 --> 01:09:07,575 到達極樂境界之時 960 01:09:07,617 --> 01:09:09,242 也是最軟弱的時候 961 01:09:09,450 --> 01:09:11,533 我需要你合作 962 01:09:12,658 --> 01:09:15,033 你和阿柔回到西門山莊 963 01:09:15,283 --> 01:09:16,242 對付幻姬 964 01:09:16,617 --> 01:09:19,075 老實說 你說的話我不相信 965 01:09:19,117 --> 01:09:22,367 我要你幫忙 你幫不幫? 966 01:09:22,408 --> 01:09:23,783 幫 967 01:09:23,825 --> 01:09:25,742 大個子 968 01:09:25,783 --> 01:09:29,408 你也要我幫忙嗎? 969 01:09:30,158 --> 01:09:34,283 娘子 你回去 凡事要小心 970 01:09:50,533 --> 01:09:54,325 夫人 夫人 971 01:09:54,367 --> 01:09:55,533 什麼事? 972 01:09:55,575 --> 01:09:59,242 夫人 小姐跟花道少爺回來了 973 01:09:59,325 --> 01:10:01,950 真的? 974 01:10:02,492 --> 01:10:03,575 我爹他 975 01:10:03,617 --> 01:10:08,075 你爹得了急病 三天前已經去世了 976 01:10:08,575 --> 01:10:09,533 其他人呢? 977 01:10:09,700 --> 01:10:11,450 全都跑了 978 01:10:11,617 --> 01:10:13,367 現在剩下我一個人 979 01:10:13,408 --> 01:10:15,700 沒人為我作主 980 01:10:15,908 --> 01:10:17,867 我和花道在這兒住幾天 981 01:10:17,908 --> 01:10:20,533 一切後事 就由他打點 982 01:10:20,617 --> 01:10:22,825 謝謝花相公 983 01:10:26,117 --> 01:10:31,075 以後西門家 就只剩下我們兩個相依為命 984 01:11:20,283 --> 01:11:22,325 喂 不許偷看 985 01:11:22,367 --> 01:11:25,450 沒有 我脖子很酸 活動一下嘛 986 01:11:25,992 --> 01:11:28,117 叫你把風 你幹嘛看著我呀? 987 01:11:28,158 --> 01:11:29,158 外面鬼影也沒有 988 01:11:29,158 --> 01:11:31,575 天天洗澡洗兩個時辰你不累嗎? 989 01:11:31,617 --> 01:11:33,325 我感覺今天晚上一定有事 990 01:11:33,492 --> 01:11:35,075 閃電閃個不停的 991 01:11:35,367 --> 01:11:36,950 每次雷電交回就會有事發生 992 01:11:37,283 --> 01:11:39,658 我才不信鐵中棠的話呢 993 01:11:39,700 --> 01:11:42,283 為了替爹報仇 我什麼都願意做 994 01:11:42,325 --> 01:11:43,825 別把氣氛弄得那麼悲壯 995 01:11:43,867 --> 01:11:45,242 我都想撒尿了 996 01:11:45,450 --> 01:11:48,575 那你先出去吧 你出去我才可以出來嘛 997 01:11:48,617 --> 01:11:50,575 好吧 998 01:12:13,575 --> 01:12:15,700 花相公 999 01:12:19,950 --> 01:12:21,908 你去撒尿還帶著刀啊 1000 01:12:22,117 --> 01:12:23,533 難道怕別人強姦你? 1001 01:12:23,700 --> 01:12:27,158 不…不是 我是怕狗 1002 01:12:27,325 --> 01:12:29,617 我小時候撒尿經常被狗咬 1003 01:12:30,325 --> 01:12:34,242 你怎麼這麼晚了還不睡呢 是不是怕我…? 1004 01:12:34,283 --> 01:12:36,825 不是 當然不是 我怎麼會怕你呢? 1005 01:12:36,992 --> 01:12:38,867 那麼你怎麼不睡覺? 1006 01:12:40,242 --> 01:12:44,908 你看 雷電交回 風又大 我很害怕呀 1007 01:12:45,617 --> 01:12:49,617 怕什麼?你回房裏 被子蓋著頭就不會怕了 1008 01:12:49,867 --> 01:12:53,033 我連回房間也害怕 1009 01:12:53,075 --> 01:12:55,575 老爺就死在我房間裏 1010 01:12:55,617 --> 01:12:57,533 他死的時候樣子挺嚇人的 1011 01:12:57,658 --> 01:13:01,825 兩眼凸出來 很害怕 不過你陪我回房間去 1012 01:13:01,908 --> 01:13:04,117 我回房間了 1013 01:13:05,075 --> 01:13:07,658 我真的很害怕 1014 01:13:07,700 --> 01:13:09,617 你陪我回房間睡吧 1015 01:13:10,075 --> 01:13:11,242 陪你睡? 1016 01:13:11,283 --> 01:13:13,492 是呀 1017 01:13:13,533 --> 01:13:15,200 你不怕我…? 1018 01:13:15,242 --> 01:13:19,533 不怕 你是正人君子 我怎麼會怕呢 1019 01:13:19,825 --> 01:13:22,783 算你有眼光 1020 01:13:25,742 --> 01:13:28,908 這麼正點 要說他是男人變的 1021 01:13:29,200 --> 01:13:31,492 怎麼說我也不信 1022 01:13:31,950 --> 01:13:34,617 那你答應了 1023 01:13:35,617 --> 01:13:41,325 大丈夫 護花有責 在下恭敬不如從命 1024 01:13:56,950 --> 01:14:00,992 小翠你怎麼了?怎麼哭了? 1025 01:14:01,617 --> 01:14:04,658 我怕 我怕你看不起我 1026 01:14:05,492 --> 01:14:06,117 怎麼會呢? 1027 01:14:06,283 --> 01:14:07,533 你會的 1028 01:14:08,033 --> 01:14:13,075 因為我連嫁了兩個男人 而且他們都死於非命 1029 01:14:13,117 --> 01:14:18,117 人家一定會說我是掃帚星 剋夫命 1030 01:14:19,908 --> 01:14:22,575 我兩次嫁人都是被逼的 1031 01:14:22,617 --> 01:14:25,033 只要找到我喜歡的男人真心愛我一夜 1032 01:14:25,242 --> 01:14:29,283 我就為他死 1033 01:14:29,783 --> 01:14:32,367 你不要說這樣的話 1034 01:14:33,033 --> 01:14:39,283 花相公 如果我說 你是我喜歡的男人 1035 01:14:39,325 --> 01:14:42,408 你會不會覺得…我很下賤 1036 01:14:43,075 --> 01:14:45,283 不會 怎麼會呢? 1037 01:14:45,533 --> 01:14:47,575 你會不會愛我一夜呢 1038 01:14:47,617 --> 01:14:50,200 助人為快樂之本 1039 01:14:50,242 --> 01:14:53,825 陪你一夜 我絕對願意 1040 01:15:06,783 --> 01:15:08,825 小弟弟 委屈你那麼久 1041 01:15:09,033 --> 01:15:12,367 今晚讓你好好樂一樂 對得起你了吧 1042 01:15:13,117 --> 01:15:14,908 花相公 我很冷呀! 1043 01:15:15,283 --> 01:15:18,200 不要緊 蓋床被子吧! 1044 01:15:38,992 --> 01:15:41,367 用力呀…! 1045 01:15:48,492 --> 01:15:52,408 為什麼突然那麼大的勁啊? 1046 01:15:52,700 --> 01:15:55,617 為什麼里面好像有東西要把我推出來一樣啊? 1047 01:15:56,242 --> 01:15:58,617 這個姿勢不行啊 1048 01:15:59,617 --> 01:16:01,450 喂 你拿什麼插我啊 1049 01:16:01,992 --> 01:16:03,367 痛啊… 1050 01:16:03,450 --> 01:16:06,283 救命呀… 1051 01:16:07,533 --> 01:16:09,533 放手… 1052 01:16:09,742 --> 01:16:10,450 救命呀… 1053 01:16:11,075 --> 01:16:14,367 小弟弟 放煙霧… 1054 01:16:20,492 --> 01:16:25,325 救命呀 放手… 1055 01:16:28,825 --> 01:16:31,367 救命呀! 1056 01:16:34,533 --> 01:16:37,700 妖孽 受死 1057 01:16:44,158 --> 01:16:44,950 怎麼樣 沒事吧? 1058 01:16:45,117 --> 01:16:46,033 沒事 1059 01:16:46,033 --> 01:16:47,158 怎麼會這樣? 1060 01:16:47,200 --> 01:16:48,325 果然不出我所料 1061 01:16:48,367 --> 01:16:49,742 她吸取那麼多元陰 1062 01:16:49,783 --> 01:16:52,158 現在還想吸你的元陽 1063 01:16:52,200 --> 01:16:53,742 你拿我做餌 1064 01:16:53,783 --> 01:16:56,450 只怪你好色之過 受不住迷惑 1065 01:16:56,492 --> 01:16:59,992 你最好找個地方躲起來 我去收拾它 1066 01:17:00,867 --> 01:17:02,742 你去哪? 1067 01:17:02,783 --> 01:17:04,617 我怎麼辦呀? 1068 01:17:49,658 --> 01:17:51,617 鐵中棠 怎麼樣 擺平了沒有? 1069 01:17:51,658 --> 01:17:52,533 被她跑了 1070 01:17:52,658 --> 01:17:53,533 那怎麼辦? 1071 01:17:53,658 --> 01:17:56,783 你去看著阿柔 啊… 1072 01:18:03,075 --> 01:18:04,325 想抓我? 1073 01:18:04,367 --> 01:18:06,950 鐵中棠 你受死吧 1074 01:18:33,075 --> 01:18:35,117 淫人妻子那麼開心 1075 01:18:35,158 --> 01:18:38,367 那我這就去淫你最喜歡的女人 1076 01:18:38,492 --> 01:18:42,408 享樂玩了回來我再淫你 1077 01:18:42,408 --> 01:18:45,075 你就慢慢的等著吧… 1078 01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:03,742 這杯酒 你爹喝了以後就爆陽死了 1079 01:19:03,783 --> 01:19:05,367 現在該你喝了 1080 01:19:05,408 --> 01:19:09,450 你喝下去之後 會欲僊欲死 1081 01:19:09,492 --> 01:19:12,033 然後我和你交合 1082 01:19:12,033 --> 01:19:14,283 大家就會有極大的樂趣 1083 01:19:14,492 --> 01:19:16,033 到你高潮的時候 1084 01:19:16,367 --> 01:19:18,617 我就吸盡你的元陰 1085 01:19:18,658 --> 01:19:22,367 讓你在極樂中死去 1086 01:19:38,617 --> 01:19:39,700 你有感覺了吧? 1087 01:19:40,075 --> 01:19:43,283 你的臉開始發燙 下面開始濕了 1088 01:20:26,575 --> 01:20:28,033 怎樣呀? 1089 01:20:28,075 --> 01:20:29,783 我練成了玉女心經 1090 01:20:29,825 --> 01:20:31,825 就成為雌雄同體 1091 01:20:31,867 --> 01:20:35,867 可以是最美麗的女人 也可以是最粗礦的男人 1092 01:20:36,450 --> 01:20:41,992 我的陽物會令你享受到欲僊欲死的極樂滋味 1093 01:20:44,325 --> 01:20:47,450 親親我的波 1094 01:21:06,783 --> 01:21:08,825 親我… 1095 01:21:14,242 --> 01:21:17,533 往下一點… 1096 01:21:32,575 --> 01:21:35,992 不要呀 不要 1097 01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:53,325 自從盤古開天僻地以來 1098 01:21:53,533 --> 01:21:54,992 就是靠這件陽物 1099 01:21:54,992 --> 01:21:58,200 為男女之間帶來無數極樂的日子 1100 01:21:58,242 --> 01:21:59,575 你要極樂境界 1101 01:21:59,617 --> 01:22:04,200 就要好好的愛護它 親近它 1102 01:22:05,117 --> 01:22:07,200 天下婦人都是這樣 1103 01:22:07,242 --> 01:22:09,408 開始的時候都說不要 1104 01:22:09,450 --> 01:22:13,325 到後來 就只剩下一個好字 1105 01:22:17,158 --> 01:22:18,408 我很舒服 1106 01:22:18,450 --> 01:22:20,367 很開心 1107 01:22:20,408 --> 01:22:22,117 原來男女交合 1108 01:22:22,200 --> 01:22:24,867 可以有這麼大的快樂 1109 01:22:24,908 --> 01:22:29,033 可是玉女心經裏面有幾頁提到 採陰補陽 1110 01:22:29,075 --> 01:22:30,492 勝負生死 1111 01:22:30,533 --> 01:22:33,908 分別在於某一方先到達極樂境界 1112 01:22:33,950 --> 01:22:36,700 女方先到 元陰被男方攝去 1113 01:22:37,158 --> 01:22:40,908 男方先洩 元陽就盡歸女方 1114 01:22:40,950 --> 01:22:41,742 我不可以先到 1115 01:22:41,908 --> 01:22:44,242 我要忍 1116 01:22:47,117 --> 01:22:49,783 你爹自命淫盡天下妻女 1117 01:22:49,908 --> 01:22:51,700 卻無人敢淫他的妻女 1118 01:22:51,742 --> 01:22:54,617 現在他的妻女 都被我淫盡了 1119 01:22:54,658 --> 01:22:56,992 真是天理循環 1120 01:23:02,700 --> 01:23:04,908 這個女子的肌膚滑不溜手 1121 01:23:04,950 --> 01:23:06,158 玉門緊湊 1122 01:23:06,200 --> 01:23:09,075 跟她交合真是至高境界 1123 01:23:09,117 --> 01:23:10,658 我很想洩 1124 01:23:10,700 --> 01:23:13,950 可是我一定要守住元陽 元陽一洩 1125 01:23:14,158 --> 01:23:17,450 我採補女性元陰九十八人積聚的功力 1126 01:23:17,492 --> 01:23:19,450 就會一朝喪盡 1127 01:23:20,825 --> 01:23:23,783 我要換蟬附翼的姿勢 1128 01:24:07,033 --> 01:24:09,075 我的快感愈來愈強了 1129 01:24:09,200 --> 01:24:11,492 不行 我要反客為主 1130 01:24:11,533 --> 01:24:12,992 讓她先洩 1131 01:24:13,033 --> 01:24:14,867 反攝她的元陽 1132 01:24:14,908 --> 01:24:17,908 不然我就會被她吸盡元陰而死 1133 01:24:17,950 --> 01:24:21,117 我要用觀音坐蓮這一招 1134 01:24:35,992 --> 01:24:39,908 我要贏 我耍打敗她為爹報仇 1135 01:24:47,117 --> 01:24:49,325 真舒服呀 1136 01:25:28,033 --> 01:25:29,533 我不能讓她繼續 1137 01:25:29,575 --> 01:25:31,492 我要洩了 1138 01:25:32,783 --> 01:25:33,825 真的很舒服呀 1139 01:25:34,158 --> 01:25:35,825 我要洩了 1140 01:25:37,117 --> 01:25:38,700 我要洩了 1141 01:25:52,325 --> 01:25:53,825 你輸了 1142 01:25:53,867 --> 01:25:56,242 你想不到我也學了玉女心經吧 1143 01:25:56,283 --> 01:25:59,033 你的元陽已經被我吸盡了 1144 01:26:11,367 --> 01:26:16,325 想不到你會死在鐵中棠的雁翔刀之下 1145 01:26:18,283 --> 01:26:20,158 你沒事吧 1146 01:26:46,033 --> 01:26:48,700 走吧 我們走了 1147 01:26:50,075 --> 01:26:51,908 來 1148 01:26:55,617 --> 01:26:57,908 西門堅他不信因果 1149 01:26:57,950 --> 01:26:59,450 堅持行淫 1150 01:26:59,492 --> 01:27:01,325 結果妻子兒女 1151 01:27:01,367 --> 01:27:03,783 全部被幻姬所淫 1152 01:27:03,992 --> 01:27:06,367 只有西門柔宅心仁厚 1153 01:27:06,533 --> 01:27:07,575 雖然失身 1154 01:27:07,783 --> 01:27:09,575 但是逃出生天 1155 01:27:09,617 --> 01:27:13,783 因果之說 真是信不信由人 76614

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