All language subtitles for S6E21-Lies My Father Told Me

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:07,506 [cartoon noises] 2 00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,908 Hey, D.J., haven't seen you since I got home. 3 00:00:09,909 --> 00:00:12,778 Shut up. 4 00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:15,514 Oh, nice to see you too. 5 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:16,982 School's going really well. 6 00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:19,618 Shut up. 7 00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:22,321 Yeah, the bus ride home was nice, but, uh, 8 00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:24,356 Unfortunately, I was sitting next to this guy who kept singing... 9 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,358 la la la la la la la la la 10 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,593 I'm gonna kill you, Darlene! 11 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:29,294 Not if I kill you first. 12 00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:31,964 Oh, you kids, if I had a corpse for every time 13 00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:34,099 One of you said that... 14 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,268 She won't shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up! 15 00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:38,537 Shut! Up! 16 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:41,640 How ironic; grandma's strapped to a bed in a loony bin, 17 00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:44,376 And yet D.J. walks free. 18 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,644 What are you talkin' about? 19 00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:48,147 Well, thank you for your sensitivity, Darlene. 20 00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:51,984 I was gonna tell you about grandma Connor, you know. 21 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,920 Last night your dad had to put her into a home. 22 00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:56,255 What kind of home? 23 00:00:56,256 --> 00:01:02,027 A home... Not unlike our own. 24 00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:06,098 She's in a mental institution. 25 00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:08,367 Is it because grandma's crazy? 26 00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:12,404 No, it's because she's... Tired. 27 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:16,108 Yeah, tired of being sane. 28 00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:20,779 Well, "crazy" is a mean word to use, D.J. 29 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:25,451 Your grandmother is just emotionally, um-- 30 00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:30,756 Well, she's had some emotional, uh-- 31 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,092 She's a tad nutty. 32 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,361 How long has she been like this? 33 00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:36,929 I don't know. 34 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:40,065 Only in our family can someone be a nut case for 20 years 35 00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:41,900 Without anyone noticing. 36 00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:46,038 We notice, Darlene; we're just ignoring you. 37 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,807 Did grandma do crazy things? 38 00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:50,476 Well, there was that one tip-off. 39 00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:51,710 Remember when she was in Florida, 40 00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:53,445 She sent us that postcard that said, 41 00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:58,050 "having a great time. Wish I was here." 42 00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,953 I don't think you should be making fun of grandma. 43 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,654 We're not making fun, D.J. 44 00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:05,324 This is just our way of coping, you know? 45 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,726 Instead of crying and saying my grandmother's 46 00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:10,763 In a mental institution, we say, uh, well, 47 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,197 At least grandma is with other people 48 00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:16,435 Who share her interests in hand-washing. 49 00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:18,837 [laughing] 50 00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:22,274 Mornin'. 51 00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:24,510 Oh, man. 52 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:32,284 Oh, i'm sorry, Dan. 53 00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:36,121 Listen, I need to talk about this. 54 00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:38,424 Why? It didn't happen to your mom. 55 00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,259 Yeah, I know; if it would've happened to my mom, 56 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:43,362 At least it would make sense. 57 00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:47,099 Talk. 58 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,906 Well, I just have some questions is all. 59 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:57,376 Um, you know, when your parents got divorced, when was that? 60 00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,645 Uh, let's see... 61 00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:02,247 I was wearing a size 8, so that's about 62 00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:03,482 10 years ago, right? 63 00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:04,650 Right. 64 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:07,720 And remember when your mom got hospitalized 65 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,355 For exhaustion then? 66 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,191 Um, was that a mental hospital? 67 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,593 Yes, it was a mental hospital. 68 00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:17,262 Her husband of 32 years had just walked out on her, 69 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,664 So she got a little depressed. 70 00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:20,165 Go figure. 71 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,867 Were there other times? 72 00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:26,338 Once. 73 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:28,107 Really? 74 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,843 My dad used to go away on business trips 75 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:34,313 When I was a kid and one time, 76 00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:36,281 He took off without even telling my mom. 77 00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,751 Two weeks, no phone calls, no nothin'. 78 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,019 She didn't know where he was. 79 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,820 He really did that? 80 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:45,190 Yeah, he really did that. Wow. 81 00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:49,495 And it wrecked her so bad that she had to go away 82 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:50,696 For a little while. 83 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:51,830 Yeah. 84 00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:53,465 Well, I just had no idea. 85 00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:57,970 Well, I told you that my dad 86 00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,672 Treated my mom like crap. 87 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,907 Well, yeah, I know that, but, I mean, 88 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,342 I didn't know he was that bad 89 00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,811 And I didn't know that it affected her so much. 90 00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:08,981 Well, of course it affected her; he was horrible to her. 91 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,283 It's amazing that she held up as well as she did. 92 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,620 Well, so... 93 00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:18,824 So it must've been really hard on you, huh, Dan? 94 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,860 No, it wasn't hard on me. It's was hard on her. 95 00:04:21,861 --> 00:04:26,298 She made it okay for me. She was a great mother. 96 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,467 She didn't teach her kids to make jokes about things 97 00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:29,902 That aren't funny. 98 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:33,238 Hey, the kids are just tryin' to handle this, okay? 99 00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:35,541 We all feel really bad about what happened to your mother. 100 00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,543 Really? Well, you could never tell. 101 00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:38,677 Of course, you could never tell 102 00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,145 Anybody gives a damn about anything around here. 103 00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,548 All we do is yell at each other and make jokes. 104 00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:45,017 Well, Dan, i'm really upset that you've forgotten 105 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,186 The occasional fist fight. 106 00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:50,989 That's perfect, Roseanne. 107 00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:57,830 I'm just tryin' every way I know how. 108 00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,833 Try somethin' else. [door closes] 109 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,738 Hey, mom, you know, he probably just doesn't 110 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:06,972 Feel comfortable talkin' to you 111 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,041 Because your mother never went insane. 112 00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,812 Don't worry, i'll talk to him. 113 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,460 [laughing] 114 00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:12,805 Alright, sweetie, you go to bed now. 115 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:15,574 I hope you're planning to sing him a proper lullaby 116 00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:19,144 And not that rock 'n roll you sang last time. 117 00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:23,215 It was puff the magic dragon. 118 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:26,618 Square old bat. 119 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:27,820 [door bell] 120 00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,321 I'm not so square that I don't know 121 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,824 That song's about reefer. 122 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,532 Let's see what Roseanne thinks. 123 00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:43,102 You think it's a good idea to encourage infants 124 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,504 To do drugs? 125 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:48,140 Jackie, what is the matter with you? 126 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,376 I told you you have to wait till he's at least three 127 00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:54,380 Before you go and buy him one of those Fisher-price bongs. 128 00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:57,850 Make your little jokes now, but you'll wish 129 00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,285 You listened to me when that boy is 16 130 00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:03,989 And he's wearing an earring and dungarees. 131 00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,657 So is Dan doing any better? 132 00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:08,060 No, he isn't and it just sucks. 133 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,196 I mean, you know, he's sleeping right next to me, 134 00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:13,666 But there's just nothing I can do about it. 135 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,934 And he's gettin' really nasty too. 136 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,504 I mean, you know, he called me a bad mother. 137 00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,972 I think. 138 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,674 I couldn't really hear him 'cause D.J. 139 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:25,678 Was running by with scissors. 140 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:28,580 You're not a bad mother, Roseanne. 141 00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:31,417 A bad mother thinks one blanket is enough 142 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:32,951 In the dead of winter. 143 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,787 Where do you keep them, Jackie? 144 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,822 In the basement... 145 00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,757 With the asbestos. 146 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,930 Grandma to the rescue again. 147 00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:48,133 Breathe deep, old woman. 148 00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:56,408 It's just so weird, you know, all that stuff he told me. 149 00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:57,710 I don't know, it's like his family's 150 00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,312 Way more screwed up than he ever let on before. 151 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:03,315 Well, maybe he was ashamed. 152 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:06,151 Ashamed? He's been married to me for 21 years. 153 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,921 You'd think he'd be numb to shame by now. 154 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,023 I don't know, Roseanne. It is kinda bad. 155 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,391 I mean, think about it. 156 00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:17,196 His mom beat our mom to the loony bin. 157 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:21,567 And I can't even get him to talk about audrey, you know? 158 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,369 He's so defensive. 159 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,037 It's like he has to believe she was, like, 160 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,805 The world's greatest mother. 161 00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:30,042 Egad, imagine a child loving his mother. 162 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:33,779 I hope you didn't snap him out of it, Roseanne. 163 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:37,983 This is not about Dan loving his mother, okay? 164 00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:40,119 You can still love your mother even though you know 165 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,655 That she is a crazy old shrew. 166 00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:46,358 Don't think that I can't read 167 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:50,529 Between those lines, Roseanne. 168 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:54,933 You know, dan's mother was lucky she had sons. 169 00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:58,871 Sons always treat their mothers with respect. 170 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,040 Ugh, look at the stains! 171 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:05,811 I assumed because it was folded it was clean. 172 00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,212 You know, you're right, mom. 173 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:10,015 Dan's mother was lucky and we don't treat you 174 00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:12,051 With enough respect. 175 00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:18,524 Shoulda had sons. 176 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,397 Hey, Darlene? 177 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,399 I was reading how if your grandmother's insane, 178 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,534 There's a one-out-of-three chance 179 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:32,271 That you will be too, so... 180 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,907 There's a test here to look for the early warning signs. 181 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,910 Oh, man, not another one of those ink blots 182 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:41,080 That looks like the devil stabbing me. 183 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,315 Hey, guys, what are you doin'? 184 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,417 Oh, nothin', just takin' a test. 185 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,885 Man, I hate tests. 186 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:47,953 Oh, this one's different. 187 00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,121 When you're done with this one, 188 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:52,124 You don't hand the nurse a plastic cup. 189 00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:57,329 Okay, question number one: 190 00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,531 "when you put your shoes on, do put them on 191 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,600 One at a time or both at once?" 192 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,601 Both at once. 193 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,470 Okay, that was an easy one. 194 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,540 Question number two: 195 00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:11,877 "what color is the sound of a dog barking?" 196 00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:13,612 Bright green. 197 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,515 Green or bright green. Both are acceptable. 198 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:23,255 Question number three: "pick one: triangle, hat, or boat." 199 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:24,723 Triangle? 200 00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,792 Boat. 201 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:31,897 That's right. 202 00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,199 Question number four: 203 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,536 "do you ever relive the same moment twice?" 204 00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:40,205 No. Very good. 205 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:45,411 Question number four: "do you ever relive the same moment twice?" 206 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:46,979 No. Very good. 207 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,847 [Becky] hey, guys, what are you doin'? 208 00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:52,217 Oh, nothin', just takin' a test. 209 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:56,555 Man, I hate tests. 210 00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:57,589 Oh, this one's different. 211 00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:58,757 When you're done with this one, 212 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:01,827 You don't hand the nurse a plastic cup. 213 00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,338 Dan, Dan, now you're gonna wake the babies. 214 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,806 Now, why don't you just calm down 215 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,874 And Roseanne will be here any minute to take you home. 216 00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,276 [drunken slur] no, Crystal, I told you 217 00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:18,744 I'd come here to talk to my father. 218 00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:20,212 I'm not leaving until I do. 219 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:22,881 I told you he's not here. He's on a business trip. 220 00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:25,818 What a surprise. Prepare yourself, Crystal. 221 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,519 You may not hear from him for two weeks. 222 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,522 Dan, I think you should leave. 223 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,958 Well, I don't think I should leave. 224 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,226 You know who I think should leave? 225 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,728 I think you should leave. 226 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,196 I think you should get away from him. 227 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,764 Pack up the stuff, grab the kids. 228 00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:41,433 I'll give you a hand. 229 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,102 Hey, Lonnie, get that chair! 230 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,603 Dan, Dan, put that down. 231 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:47,539 Lonnie, why don't you go get Dan some nice, hot coffee? 232 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,308 Now, now listen. 233 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,977 I'm married to your father and i'm not leavin'. 234 00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:54,813 Oh, come on, Crystal, don't let him do to you what he did to her. 235 00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:57,149 You haven't heard your father's side. 236 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,550 He's a good man. 237 00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,885 Damn it, he is not! 238 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,687 [yelps] Dan, you're scarin' me! 239 00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,756 Look, Crystal, he doesn't love you. 240 00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:06,458 He doesn't love the kids. 241 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,160 He just goes away all the time 242 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,795 And he leaves you alone by yourself, 243 00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,897 Then he comes back and he says, look, honey, 244 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,766 I got you a lamp. 245 00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,870 Lonnie, Lonnie, come here. 246 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,138 Now, you gotta talk to your mom, 247 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,372 You gotta tell her to get out 248 00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,907 Because he's wreckin' your family. 249 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,142 No-- no he's not. 250 00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,878 Dan, I forbid you to talk to my son that way. 251 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,880 Now-- now why don't you have a little coffee. 252 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:28,881 You're not listening to me. 253 00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:30,182 Come on, you need it. 254 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,651 This is not way for you to act in your father's house! 255 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:35,154 I am not drinkin' his damn coffee! 256 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,757 Well, that's always the first sign 257 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,927 That he's had too much caffeine. 258 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,930 Rosie, you got nothin' to do here. 259 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,198 Just get out. 260 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,966 No, Dan, that would be rude. 261 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:49,601 Crystal would be very insulted 262 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,837 If I didn't throw a cup at the wall too. 263 00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:54,039 Well, i'm not leavin'. 264 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:57,609 Not till I talk to the son of a bitch. 265 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,812 Get out of our house. 266 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,420 Um, that was pretty cute, Lonnie, but, you know, 267 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:11,990 His ankle is as big as your chest. 268 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:14,093 Dan, if you're waitin' around to see your dad, 269 00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:15,461 Um, you're waiti'' in the wrong place 270 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,229 'cause he's over at our house. 271 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,263 What are you talkin' about? 272 00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,965 Yeah, isn't that right, Crystal? 273 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,533 Oh, right, that's where he is. 274 00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:22,801 Yesiree. 275 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,437 Well, why the hell didn't somebody tell me? 276 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:28,173 Oh, 'cause we wanted it to be a big surprise, you know. 277 00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:31,243 Let's go. 278 00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:34,079 Hey, Crystal... 279 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,615 You know i'm only doin' this to help you. 280 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,984 And you did, Dan, but now you're gonna go home and rest, 281 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,553 So tomorrow you'll be able to help others. 282 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,695 Oh, i'm really sorry, Crystal. 283 00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:52,064 You know he loves ya, but right now he's just 284 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:55,567 A big, stupid drunk guy that's just in a lot of pain. 285 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,904 It's okay, Roseanne. He just broke a few things. 286 00:13:58,905 --> 00:13:59,905 [rustling] 287 00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:02,808 Oh, and now a shrub. Oh... 288 00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,843 Get up, Dan! 289 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,025 Morning, otis. 290 00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:28,100 Boy, dad, now that i'm in college, 291 00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:31,670 Let me tell you, I know exactly how you feel. 292 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,607 I find that if you just start drinking 293 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,976 Right when you wake up, the hangover's gone. 294 00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:40,546 And, you know, you can go about your day with full energy, 295 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:45,684 Whether it's goin' to classes or, you know, raising a family. 296 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,354 You're done, Darlene. 297 00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:52,825 Oh, dad... 298 00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:54,326 I'm really sorry about grandma. 299 00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,195 I know. 300 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:59,298 Alright, Darlene, time to leave the house. 301 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:00,766 You're just a painful reminder 302 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,267 Of another bender your dad went on. 303 00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:11,410 Where's the rest of the free-loaders? 304 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,712 Well, I told 'em to get lost, you know, 305 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:16,215 Um, 'cause I thought that we would talk. 306 00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,517 Well, they didn't have to leave the house. 307 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:22,521 Well, I thought we'd maybe talk loud. 308 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,457 So what were you thinking goin' over there all drunk? 309 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,993 Did you think you were gonna go over there and beat him up? 310 00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:30,596 Maybe. 311 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,965 Or at least barf on him. 312 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,503 Well, Crystal called me last night, you know, 313 00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:40,739 And she had some things to say about your mom and dad. 314 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:49,214 Listen to me, Dan, a person doesn't become mentally ill 315 00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:52,785 Because their spouse goes away on business trips. 316 00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:01,160 How in the hell can you say that to me? 317 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:08,701 Well, think about it, Dan. It can't all be his fault. 318 00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:10,869 Well, what are you sayin'? 319 00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,772 Oh, I see, you're tellin' me that if I forgive him, 320 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:14,907 I'll feel better. 321 00:16:14,908 --> 00:16:16,141 Well, why didn't you say so? 322 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,209 [snaps] done! 323 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,877 Where's my tap shoes? 324 00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:25,184 This isn't just the third time 325 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,319 Your mother's been hospitalized, Dan. 326 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,755 It used to happen a lot when you were a kid 327 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:32,291 And they told you that she was visiting some relative? 328 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,462 Well, she wasn't. 329 00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:39,398 Where the hell did you hear that? 330 00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:40,632 Crystal. 331 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,134 Oh, that's bull. 332 00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:45,204 My mother was in a bad marriage. 333 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,639 No, Dan. 334 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,242 Crystal told me that your mom was in and out 335 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,411 Of a lot of hospitals before your parents even met. 336 00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,279 Crystal's protecting him. 337 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,848 Do you wanna call those hospitals-- 338 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:58,951 Stop defending him. Stop! 339 00:16:58,952 --> 00:17:01,620 He let you blame him for everything, Dan. 340 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:04,156 He took all your crap, all of his life, 341 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,792 Just so he could keep your mom lookin' good for you. 342 00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:08,961 No way, no way. I'm not gonna let you do this. 343 00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:11,897 You are not gonna twist this around. 344 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,433 He did a good thing, Dan. 345 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,602 It didn't happen that way. 346 00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,437 What you're saying does not make any sense. 347 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:19,705 It makes perfect sense, Dan. 348 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,641 Why? Huh? Why? 349 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:25,344 Why wouldn't he tell me about it? 350 00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,114 Because maybe he knew he was gonna be gone all the time. 351 00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:30,849 Maybe he figured it would be easier 352 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,118 For a kid to have a bastard for a father 353 00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:36,522 Than a crazy person for a mother. 354 00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:38,390 He made her that way. 355 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,894 This was his fault. 356 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,930 No, it wasn't his fault, Dan. 357 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,866 And it wasn't her fault. 358 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:53,439 And it's not your fault either. 359 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:57,976 [crying] I can't take this. 360 00:17:57,977 --> 00:17:59,378 Yeah, I know. 361 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:02,348 I'm gonna take it with you. 362 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:15,928 [tv, man talking] 363 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,630 [knocking] 364 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,299 [tv shuts off] 365 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:31,777 Oh, it's my son, the tough guy. 366 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,879 Is there some stuff that you forgot 367 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,047 To break last night? 368 00:18:35,048 --> 00:18:36,715 I just came to help you clean up. 369 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:37,716 Can I come in? 370 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,353 [sighs] 371 00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:44,490 You know, when you were younger, 372 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:47,326 At least you had the courage to take your shots at me. 373 00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:48,894 Well, last night you weren't here. 374 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,462 Yeah, well, my family was. 375 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,132 Yeah, look, i'm sorry about the things that I said to Crystal. 376 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:56,168 At least Crystal, thankfully, is smart enough not to listen 377 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:59,605 To some drunk who's tearing up her house. 378 00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:02,207 Whoa, who broke the toaster? 379 00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:03,609 Man, I don't even remember being 380 00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:04,710 In the kitchen last night. 381 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,211 Come on, danny, what are we doin' here? 382 00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:07,813 I can help you fix that. Stop it. 383 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,748 I just wanna talk to you, dad. 384 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:13,452 I think we're way past it. 385 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,120 Way past talk. 386 00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:17,056 Now, I got an idea. 387 00:19:17,057 --> 00:19:19,425 Why don't we just call it quits, 388 00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:20,926 Go our separate ways? 389 00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:24,096 You're my father, i'm your son. We can't do that. 390 00:19:24,097 --> 00:19:25,931 Why the hell not? 391 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:26,999 We're both grown men. 392 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,267 We don't need each other anymore. 393 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,568 Let's just say it's done. 394 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,704 Come on, dad. 395 00:19:31,705 --> 00:19:34,707 You know it was different when I was on my own, okay? 396 00:19:34,708 --> 00:19:37,943 But now, I can't have you comin' over here 397 00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:39,712 And just scarin' the hell out of my family. 398 00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:44,383 I can't leave until we talk about mom. 399 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:49,088 That's the difference between you and me. 400 00:19:49,089 --> 00:19:52,057 You can't stop livin' in the past. 401 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,727 It's just-- 402 00:19:54,728 --> 00:19:56,862 I ruined your mother's life. 403 00:19:56,863 --> 00:20:01,967 Okay, see, I admit that. 404 00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,636 I can't keep apologizing. 405 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,748 Crystal told Roseanne about mom. 406 00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:19,852 You know, her history. 407 00:20:19,853 --> 00:20:21,253 Well, she shouldn't have done that. 408 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:25,591 Maybe she shouldn't have, but... 409 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:26,992 I wish you had. 410 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,931 Some things are private, Dan. 411 00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,334 I'm her son. Exactly. 412 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,469 And I didn't you to go around thinkin' bad things 413 00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:40,873 About your mother, because she was a good woman. 414 00:20:40,874 --> 00:20:43,242 Still is. 415 00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:51,650 Yeah, and I know i've said some bad things about you 416 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:52,851 For a long time. 417 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,753 I just want you to know that I really appreciate-- 418 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,522 There you go. There you go. 419 00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,223 I mean, you're just gonna drag the past up again, aren't ya? 420 00:20:58,224 --> 00:20:59,658 Don't. Don't. 421 00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,493 Look, you don't understand what i'm tryin' to tell ya. 422 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:02,995 I just wanna tell ya that I really appreciate-- 423 00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:04,630 Don't! 424 00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:09,802 Dan... Just leave it alone. 425 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:15,341 If that's the way you want it. 426 00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:23,882 Hey, that toaster is not gonna fix itself. 427 00:21:28,221 --> 00:21:30,622 Okay. 428 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,757 I'll see you later. 429 00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:33,625 Hey, I thought you were gonna fix this thing. 430 00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:37,363 You want me to? 431 00:21:37,364 --> 00:21:40,065 Hey, I didn't break it. 432 00:21:46,039 --> 00:21:48,107 There's a ballgame on. You mind if I watch? 433 00:21:48,108 --> 00:21:50,542 [tv, man speaking] 434 00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:53,078 Sure. 435 00:21:53,079 --> 00:21:56,448 We can make it more interesting, put 20 bucks on it. 436 00:21:56,449 --> 00:21:57,716 I'll take the bulls. 437 00:21:57,717 --> 00:22:01,420 Huh, my house, i'll take the bulls. 438 00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:06,058 [laughing] I mean, this is wild. 439 00:22:06,059 --> 00:22:09,962 I don't even remember being in the kitchen last night. 440 00:22:09,963 --> 00:22:12,297 You weren't. 441 00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:15,801 Thing's been broken for months. 442 00:22:26,146 --> 00:22:28,113 Hey, d.J. 443 00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:30,182 I know you guys are just trying to trick me 444 00:22:30,183 --> 00:22:31,750 With this stupid test. 445 00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:34,920 Oops, figured it out. 446 00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:39,091 [door closes] 447 00:22:39,092 --> 00:22:40,592 Hey, D.J. 448 00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:41,593 How'd you do that? 449 00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:44,129 Oops, figured it out. 450 00:22:46,132 --> 00:22:47,333 [door closes] 451 00:22:47,334 --> 00:22:49,435 Hey, D.J. You're not scaring me! 452 00:22:49,436 --> 00:22:51,437 Oops, figured it out. 453 00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:53,706 [door closes] hey, D.J. 454 00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:56,608 Stop it! Oops, figured it out. 455 00:22:57,811 --> 00:23:00,846 Hey, D.J. Mom! 456 00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:06,085 What's the matter with him? 457 00:23:06,086 --> 00:23:08,620 The kid's losin' it. 458 00:23:22,602 --> 00:23:25,437 43995

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