All language subtitles for S5E18-Lose A Job, Winnebago

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:06,138 [man, on television] 575, Bob. 2 00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:07,139 [Bob Barker] $575. 3 00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:08,841 What is this, the price is wrong? 4 00:00:08,908 --> 00:00:12,411 Lower! Lower! Hundreds of dollars lower, you idiot! 5 00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:15,614 Yeah, I mean, where does she shop for jukeboxes? 6 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:16,915 Lower! Higher! 7 00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:18,984 Lower, you mouth-breathing pinhead! 8 00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:20,686 Lower! Higher! 9 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:21,720 Well, look at that. 10 00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:23,355 If it wasn't for unemployment 11 00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,224 And bomb threats called into the school, 12 00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:27,760 The two of you would have no quality time together. 13 00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:30,462 Shh. Time for the showcase showdown. 14 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:32,464 Oh, take the second showcase. 15 00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,466 Everybody knows the first one sucks. 16 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:37,636 God, i'd be so good on this show, Dan. 17 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:40,205 And they always pick people just like me-- 18 00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:42,675 You know, real cute and bubbly-like. 19 00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:44,910 That's why I picked you, mommy. 20 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,413 Oh, man, get the hose. 21 00:00:49,315 --> 00:00:51,083 So how'd your interview go? 22 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,284 Guess. 23 00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:54,620 Uh, you got the job and it pays great? 24 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,188 Lower. 25 00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,457 You got the job and it don't pay great. 26 00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:00,059 Lower. 27 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,494 You went berserk and killed the interviewer, 28 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:05,764 And now you're gonna be on America's Most Wanted. 29 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,499 Higher. 30 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,068 You didn't get the job. 31 00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:11,970 Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding! 32 00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:13,872 Hey, Rosie. Hi. 33 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:14,973 Hi, Dan. 34 00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,809 Hey, Darlene, cool bomb threat, huh? 35 00:01:20,146 --> 00:01:21,480 I got a favor to ask. 36 00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:22,848 We're gonna take this little trip, 37 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,783 And I was wondering if you guys'd watch the house. 38 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:26,085 [Roseanne] sure. What are neighbors for? 39 00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,219 Where you headed? 40 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:28,654 Well, we're taking the motor home 41 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:29,888 To Branson, Missouri, 42 00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:32,224 The country music capital of the world. 43 00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:33,726 Man, you guys are so lucky. 44 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,294 We never get to go anyplace. 45 00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,062 We ought to pack up our truck 46 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,131 And go over to your house. 47 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:43,135 Nah. It would just be too hard to unwind when we got back. 48 00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:44,603 Darlene, if you're going in the kitchen, 49 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,438 Why don't you and Ty make a list 50 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:47,973 Of things for D.J. To do? 51 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,242 Hey, Ty, yeah, you might as well go ahead 52 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:52,678 And kill your pets and your plants now. 53 00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:58,817 [sigh] okay, well, you want to talk about it? 54 00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:01,320 Oh, honey, I ain't no damn good at these interviews. 55 00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:02,588 I get too nervous. 56 00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:04,857 The guy asked me if I had any hobbies. 57 00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,392 I panicked and said, "drinking." 58 00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:09,194 Well, you know what they say, Dan-- 59 00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:12,197 Looking for a job is the hardest job you'll ever have. 60 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:13,932 You're right. 61 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,968 I need a vacation. 62 00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:18,270 That's not a bad idea. 63 00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:19,571 Let's do it. 64 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,840 Oh, honey, I can't run away from my problems. 65 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:24,309 You sure can. Your problems are here. 66 00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:26,812 We'll just go someplace else. It's easy. 67 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,214 Come on. It's not like we all don't deserve it. 68 00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:32,184 [snobbish] well, as long as it's not Europe again. 69 00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:35,187 Well, actually, I was thinking about someplace 70 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,955 That's really, really warm, 71 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:39,458 And where knowing the price of cheerios 72 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:43,462 Can get you a brand-new car. 73 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:44,930 That's crazy, honey. 74 00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:46,765 We can't afford to go to California. 75 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,934 Why not? Ty's going. 76 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,302 No, he's not. 77 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:51,937 Give me a minute. 78 00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,212 So, Ty, I guess 79 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,082 You're gonna pack up a lot of your warmest clothes 80 00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:04,583 To go down to Branson there, 81 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,819 Since it's real cold there this time of year. 82 00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:08,854 It's no colder than here. 83 00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:11,290 Well, how come you didn't think of, like, you know, 84 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,826 Going to California, where it's really warm, you know? 85 00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:15,828 And they got really cool stuff there, 86 00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:19,131 Like Disneyland and the Crystal Cathedral 87 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,600 And Bob Barker. 88 00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,902 You know, Charlotte and I begged him to go there, 89 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,070 Not stupid Branson. 90 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,338 Well, I think you girls 91 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,107 Would probably like it in Branson, 92 00:03:28,174 --> 00:03:30,609 'cause there's a lot of, you know, musicians down there, 93 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,978 And they have their days free, 94 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,980 And they'd probably really like 95 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,116 Making little friends like you. 96 00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,285 Yeah, I wouldn't let my daughters go there, 97 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,987 But hey, that's just me. 98 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,991 Hey, I read that Jerry Lee Lewis lives down there. 99 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,928 Look, guys, I got nothing against California, 100 00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:51,230 Necessarily, 101 00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:54,366 But it's just too far for me to drive all by myself. 102 00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,739 [all] California, here I come 103 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:04,243 right back where we started from 104 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:07,579 open up your golden gate 105 00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:09,281 california 106 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:13,986 here we come 107 00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,522 [laughing] 108 00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,768 You feeling any better, Ty? 109 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,237 Oh, I don't know. 110 00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:41,073 I think I ate something real bad. 111 00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:42,508 Well, it's your own fault. 112 00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:45,611 It's not like truck stops are known for their clams. 113 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,448 Give the guy a break, Roseanne. 114 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,617 You've been known to play a little seafood roulette 115 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,252 In your day. 116 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,488 See food? 117 00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:59,391 [groans] 118 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,361 Hang on there, Ty. 119 00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:04,630 Deej, don't bother Ty. 120 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:07,099 Go up front and bother your dad for a while. 121 00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:11,870 Hey, son. 122 00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,038 Hey. 123 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,607 What kind of bug was that? 124 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:18,043 I don't know, Deej. 125 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:21,013 Did we hit it or did it fly into us? 126 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,682 I'm not sure, son. 127 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:27,486 He did seem kind of depressed before he hit the windshield. 128 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,621 What's that? 129 00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:32,324 That's the air conditioner switch. 130 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,059 [air blowing] 131 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:41,667 Okay, Deej, go back and bother your mom for awhile. 132 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,336 Mom, can you make me a tuna sandwich? 133 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,738 I lost my other one. 134 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,941 Darlene, could you get me another can of tuna 135 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,210 Out of the cupboard, please? 136 00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:53,479 Now, let's see. 137 00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:56,682 Which one's the cupboard, which one's the den? 138 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,317 Hurry up, i'm starving. 139 00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,585 D.J., do you mind? 140 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:01,720 I'm working on three inches of formica here. 141 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,189 Gotta finish this and Darlene's salad, 142 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:08,193 Jackie's grilled cheese and your dad's bologna sandwich. 143 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:11,497 Hey, skip the bologna. I'll take some of that tuna. 144 00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,132 I've gotta use up the bologna, Dan, 145 00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:17,202 Otherwise d.J. Will have no place to sleep. 146 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,971 Hey, you know what I feel like? 147 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,039 Some hot cocoa. 148 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,440 Can we have some hot cocoa? 149 00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:23,108 [everyone agrees in unison] 150 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,344 No, no cocoa. 151 00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:27,780 Geez, what kind of a vacation is this for me? 152 00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:29,915 All you've done is take everything I do at home 153 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,151 And just put it on wheels. 154 00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:35,020 Well, hop sing quit. You in charge now. 155 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,490 Great, now one of us has to make lunch. 156 00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,759 Why don't you two flip for it? 157 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:41,927 Charlotte will do it. 158 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:42,928 Okay. 159 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,363 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 160 00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:46,699 She just tells you to do something and you do it? 161 00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:48,200 Well, I don't really mind. 162 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,636 I mean, I do this stuff at home all the time. 163 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,539 Let me explain something to you, Charlotte. 164 00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:55,641 You're the older sister. 165 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,210 That means you get to treat her like garbage. 166 00:07:58,278 --> 00:07:59,945 It's your birthright. 167 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:02,815 Yeah, but that's not how this family works. 168 00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:04,783 No, that's how all families work. 169 00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:06,318 Becky got to treat me bad, 170 00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,253 I got to take it out on D.J., 171 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,190 And d.J. Gets to take it out on society as a whole. 172 00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:14,860 I think i'm going to go see if dad wants some tea. 173 00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:18,263 I can't believe this. You two are so screwed up. 174 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,465 We are not. 175 00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:21,633 Oh, please, why do you think she eats so much 176 00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:24,703 And you'll sleep with any guy who gives you a little attention? 177 00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,473 Go shove it, Darlene. 178 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:29,675 Where the hell do you get so much insight? 179 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:40,119 Trust me. I know. 180 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:51,497 Well, everybody's all wedged in for the night. 181 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,666 So cute the way Darlene falls asleep 182 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:56,301 With her hands around D.J.'s neck. 183 00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,538 Isn't this great, honey? 184 00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:03,275 Just you and me on the open road? 185 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,312 Yeah, it's pretty cool. 186 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,182 Look at all those little houses out there. 187 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,418 You ever wonder what kind of people live there 188 00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,086 And what they're doing right now? 189 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,821 I know what they're doing right now. 190 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,424 They're wondering why the hell they bought houses 191 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,859 So damn close to the freeway. 192 00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:24,096 You know who lives in those houses? 193 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,731 People just like us. 194 00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:29,835 Each one of those little houses has its own Becky and Darlene. 195 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,637 Its own D.J. 196 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:34,239 How come they still get to have a Becky? 197 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:37,343 I guess their little bike shops are doing well. 198 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,781 Boy, stuff sure has changed, hasn't it? 199 00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:44,283 Remember that big plan I worked out 200 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,185 When we first got married? 201 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,520 Yeah. 202 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,022 What was that again? 203 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,191 I think it was, "we'll get by." 204 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,392 Oh, yeah. 205 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,928 What ever happened to that? 206 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,629 Hey, come on, we're doing okay. 207 00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,665 You've got your restaurant now. 208 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,233 It's doing good. 209 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,568 Making money. 210 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:06,372 Let's have a baby. 211 00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:11,343 What? 212 00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,212 Are you serious? 213 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,647 Since when do you want to have another kid? 214 00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:18,183 Well, I was just thinking about how much fun it was 215 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:19,551 When the kids were little. 216 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,487 Yeah, but then they get big, remember? 217 00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:24,757 I'm not getting burned on that deal again. 218 00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,794 So what are you saying? 219 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:31,096 We're never gonna have any more children? 220 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:34,967 Maybe I am. 221 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,636 Are you the only one that can decide that? 222 00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:40,406 You got a uterus? 223 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,944 Well, that's pretty damn unfair. 224 00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:48,180 I don't see why we can't do this. 225 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,649 Kids take money, Dan, okay? 226 00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,451 And we don't have that much of it. 227 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,987 If we did, you think we'd be driving cross-country 228 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,022 With our neighbor's toilet? 229 00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,659 Hey, when we had our first kid, things were tough. 230 00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,795 We didn't have any trouble making that decision. 231 00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:05,564 We didn't make that decision, Dan. 232 00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:08,367 Jose cuervo did. 233 00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:11,270 What a coincidence. 234 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,540 He's the same guy that proposed to you. 235 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:28,420 Glad you're feeling better. 236 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,723 I don't think i'da gotten through it without you. 237 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:34,193 Oh, all you needed was a little TLC. 238 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:41,633 You drive real good. 239 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:47,106 Thanks, I used to do this professionally. 240 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,474 I can tell. 241 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,609 I keep watching your eyes, 242 00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:53,579 And they never leave the road. 243 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,614 They are so brown. 244 00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:59,184 Thanks. 245 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,089 [laughs] 246 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,657 It's funny, isn't it? 247 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,793 Traveling around in a motor home? 248 00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:09,428 I mean, this is the first time 249 00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:11,130 I ever spent the night with a woman 250 00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:12,431 That I didn't actually date first. 251 00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:13,766 That's funny. 252 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,868 It is. That is funny. 253 00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:18,804 Could we get some drinks up here? 254 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:21,106 I got it. 255 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,475 Boy, I think my dad and your aunt Jackie 256 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:24,610 Are really hitting it off. 257 00:12:24,678 --> 00:12:26,612 Wouldn't it be bizarre if they got married? 258 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,682 Yeah, then we'd be cousins and we live next door to each other 259 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,850 So we could share clothes and talk on the phone 260 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,719 And do each other's hair. 261 00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,121 Die, dwarf. 262 00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,992 Who wants more peas? 263 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,560 You mean some more baby peas? 264 00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,328 Some of those cute little baby peas? 265 00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:44,797 I'd love some more baby peas. 266 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:46,265 I mean, even though you're done, 267 00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,101 That doesn't mean I don't want any more baby peas. 268 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,270 You know, i'd like some more baby peas. 269 00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:54,106 Well, you'll have baby peas when I tell you 270 00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:57,309 You're good and ready to have baby peas. 271 00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,845 All right, then, carrots. What the hell are we talking about? 272 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,081 Nothing. 273 00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:03,248 Hey, Deej. 274 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,283 [gasps] 275 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,217 Oh, hi, vic. 276 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,120 Oh my god, who the hell are you? 277 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,155 I met him at the last truck stop. 278 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,590 I let him use our bathroom, 279 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,492 And I guess I forgot he was in there. 280 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,595 D.J., what were you thinking? 281 00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,163 You guys got any tobacco? 282 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,100 Jackie, pull over. We gotta let somebody out. 283 00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:22,501 No, no, wait a minute. 284 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,870 We can't just dump him in the middle of the desert. 285 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:25,971 Where you headed, buddy? 286 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,340 Anywhere over the border would be fine. 287 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,908 Jackie, pull over. 288 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,044 Was just a joke. 289 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,613 Oh, you're out of here, buddy. 290 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:36,515 Hold on, i'm gonna check his bag. 291 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,816 Make sure he didn't take anything. 292 00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:41,854 You better hope you're clean, mister. 293 00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:45,424 Well, how do we compare to other families you've killed? 294 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,626 You know, ma'am, you might not believe this, 295 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:51,430 But I used to be just like you people. 296 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,333 Oh yeah, I had a family, wife, kids, home. 297 00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:56,368 Whole deal. 298 00:13:56,436 --> 00:14:01,407 Then I lost my job, wife took the kids. 299 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:06,545 Things started going to hell, and I find myself here. 300 00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:12,785 Gee, Ty, why don't you go ahead and start driving for a while. 301 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,687 Got it. 302 00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:16,388 I don't think it would hurt nothing 303 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:19,324 To have you ride with us for a little bit. 304 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:22,227 Can I get you something to eat? 305 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,296 Well, yeah, i'd appreciate that. 306 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,799 Do you know where your family is now? 307 00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:30,569 Nah, I was lying about the family and the job. 308 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:34,506 My problem's always been the liquor and the pills. 309 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:39,445 Ty, pull over the next exit. He's getting out. 310 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:40,846 He's clean, Roseanne. 311 00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:43,148 Very well organized. 312 00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:48,921 Well, putting 8 people in a 20-foot space together 313 00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:51,590 For 5 days seemed like a good idea. 314 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,492 What went wrong? 315 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,693 Well, for one thing, 316 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,628 You've put me in a motor home with a man 317 00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,897 Who hasn't had a woman in 15 years. 318 00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:02,434 Jackie, can you just keep your distance from him? 319 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,670 It's not like I don't try. 320 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:09,174 Y'know, yesterday I almost lost him at the sink. 321 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,045 Just deal with it, okay? I have my own problems. 322 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,047 Like, for instance, dan's driving me crazy 323 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,415 About having another kid. 324 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,017 Oh, this is great. 325 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,386 You're gonna have four kids before I even have one. 326 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,553 Well, for your information, 327 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,856 I'm thinking about getting a cat. 328 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:27,926 Well, I didn't say I was gonna do it. 329 00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:29,395 'course, I didn't say I wasn't 330 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:30,562 Gonna do it, either. 331 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:31,930 What's that mean? 332 00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:33,465 Well, i'm thinking about it, you know. 333 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,367 I've got a whole bunch of experience. 334 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,503 Boy, i'd do things different this time. 335 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:41,407 Like, for instance, I wouldn't teach this kid to talk. 336 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,944 You really think you should do this? 337 00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:48,447 Jackie, look at the three kids i've already raised. 338 00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:51,950 Don't I deserve a shot at a good one? 339 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:08,734 Well, good news. 340 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:11,036 I called home and nobody answered. 341 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,372 Everything okay at the diner? 342 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,740 That's the better news. 343 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,241 You know that job you didn't get? 344 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,276 You got it. 345 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,044 The guy left a message at the diner 346 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,646 That their first choice fell through. 347 00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,815 Congratulations, honey. You're second best. 348 00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:25,351 That's great. 349 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,052 Yeah, and it's steady drywall work 350 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,787 With medical benefits and everything 351 00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,556 So now we can finally afford to get 352 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:33,826 One of them expensive illnesses we talked about. 353 00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:36,795 And I was thinking since we'll have two incomes, 354 00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:41,100 That maybe i'll talk about that baby thing you want. 355 00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,471 I'm not taking the job, Roseanne. 356 00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,473 What do you mean you're not taking the job? 357 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,408 Just what I said. I'm not taking the job. 358 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:50,909 Here you've been dragging around the house 359 00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:53,178 For a whole month complaining how you ain't got no work, 360 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,847 Then you start with that baby talk 361 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:58,650 And get my eggs all in an uproar. 362 00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:00,352 You are taking that job, Dan. 363 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,489 I'm not taking the job just 'cause you want a baby. 364 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:04,823 I want a baby? 365 00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:07,659 You're the one that started the whole baby thing. 366 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,895 I don't want a baby anymore. 367 00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:12,498 Oh, well, i'm glad that you made up your mind 368 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:15,834 Before somebody said here comes the head. 369 00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,770 I don't want to talk about this anymore, okay? 370 00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:18,771 Let's drop it. 371 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:19,872 Well, I do. 372 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,074 I said let's drop it! 373 00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:29,715 What the hell's wrong with you? 374 00:17:29,783 --> 00:17:32,518 Why the hell did you say you wanted to have a baby? 375 00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:34,720 I don't know. 376 00:17:34,788 --> 00:17:37,056 Maybe I thought having a baby would make me happy. 377 00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:38,857 I could have just as easily said 378 00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:42,127 A new car or a pool table. 379 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:45,064 Maybe I just needed something to look forward to. 380 00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:47,299 What, and getting paid to be out of the house 381 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:50,336 Eight hours a day isn't enough for ya? 382 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,371 Not drywall. 383 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,173 Well, you don't have to do it forever. 384 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,942 You could just do it until something better comes along. 385 00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:59,445 There's guys there that have been doing the same thing 386 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,413 For 30 years waiting for something better 387 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:02,581 To come along. 388 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:03,849 I lose my bike shop, 389 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,485 The first thing I do is go back to drywall. 390 00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:11,123 Yeah, well, what do you really want to do? 391 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:13,726 Roseanne, there's a theme here. 392 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,562 I don't know. 393 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,200 Dan, you're scaring me. 394 00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,204 You think you're scared? 395 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:29,208 Well, wherever it is that you don't know 396 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,509 Where the hell you're going to, 397 00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:33,112 You know that i'm right there behind ya. 398 00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,914 Thanks. 399 00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,187 Still want to have a baby? 400 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,689 I don't know, now you've got me 401 00:18:43,757 --> 00:18:46,492 Thinking about a pool table. 402 00:18:53,033 --> 00:18:54,333 God, I can't believe it, Dan. 403 00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:56,502 You didn't get me no tickets to price is right. 404 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,904 How was I supposed to know you had to get tickets 405 00:18:58,972 --> 00:18:59,938 Six months in advance? 406 00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,440 Besides, you love this Jackie thomas guy. 407 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,142 Yeah, but I can watch that on tv. 408 00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:05,511 I want to go someplace where I can win something. 409 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,246 Least you got to fulfill the kids' dream 410 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:08,380 Of going to Disneyland. 411 00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:09,548 Yeah, I love that. 412 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:12,818 Darlene versus the happiest place on earth. 413 00:19:13,887 --> 00:19:18,157 Hey, everybody. How you doing? 414 00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,993 How you doing, folks? 415 00:19:21,061 --> 00:19:22,928 I'm Jackie Thomas, as you know. 416 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,097 Welcome to my show. 417 00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,299 We're gonna get started here in a couple of minutes, 418 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:30,035 But i'd like to get to know you guys a little bit better. 419 00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:30,969 Sir, what's your name? 420 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,037 Bill. 421 00:19:32,105 --> 00:19:33,739 Bill, nice haircut, buddy. 422 00:19:33,807 --> 00:19:36,642 What'd you do, lose a bet or something? 423 00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:38,510 No, I was in a car accident 424 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:40,245 And before they could operate on my skull, 425 00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,580 They had to shave my head. 426 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:43,349 Whatever. You know... 427 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:46,418 What's your name, partner? 428 00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:47,886 Dan conner. 429 00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:49,388 Dan Conner. Where are you from, Dan? 430 00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:50,723 Lanford, Illinois. 431 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,291 Lanford, illinois. 432 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,159 Is this your lovely wife, here? 433 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,962 Yes, I am. 434 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,430 How long you been married, ma'am? 435 00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:00,833 Well, next month it will be 20 years. 436 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,268 20 years, everybody. 437 00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,771 Tell us, what's the secret to a marriage like that? 438 00:20:05,839 --> 00:20:08,073 Lack of imagination. 439 00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:09,341 Lack of imagination. 440 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:10,376 That's funny. 441 00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:11,677 I myself have never been married. 442 00:20:11,745 --> 00:20:13,979 I've been working on my career too hard. 443 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,981 It hasn't always been this good for me, either. 444 00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,916 I used to do a lot of lousy jobs. 445 00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,052 I washed dishes, I worked in a meat packing plant. 446 00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:23,322 I did everything short of drywall. It was pretty ugly. 447 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,691 But now i'm a big star and I can make anybody 448 00:20:25,759 --> 00:20:26,759 Do anything I want. 449 00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,560 Who here wants to do something really stupid 450 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:29,895 For a real lame prize? 451 00:20:29,963 --> 00:20:31,063 He does! 452 00:20:31,131 --> 00:20:32,798 [Jackie Harris] yeah, he does impressions. 453 00:20:32,866 --> 00:20:33,866 [Jackie Thomas] impressions? Dan? 454 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,201 Get up here and do one of your impressions. 455 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,837 [Roseanne] yeah, go do your impressions. 456 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,839 Come on up here, Dan. 457 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:43,776 All right, Danny. 458 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,911 Impressions, huh? 459 00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:48,013 Who do you do? 460 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,916 Um...Um... 461 00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:52,651 Mr. Howell from Gilligan's Island. 462 00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,353 Mr. Howell from Gilligan's Island. 463 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,522 Well, i'll help you out, here. I'll be the skipper. 464 00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,290 "how you doing, little buddy?" 465 00:20:58,358 --> 00:21:00,392 "smashing, lovey." 466 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,027 That's pretty darn good. 467 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:03,429 Yay! 468 00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:04,530 Uh-huh. 469 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,765 Hey, do you do anybody else? 470 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:10,803 Yeah, I guess a little Brando. 471 00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,971 Brando. 472 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,107 "i'd like to thank the heads of the five families 473 00:21:15,175 --> 00:21:16,942 "for coming here this evening. 474 00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:19,311 How did we ever get this far?" 475 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:21,347 Thank you. 476 00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:23,649 Thank you very much. Hey, you know what? 477 00:21:23,717 --> 00:21:25,617 If you liked this one, you'll love this one. 478 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:28,687 This is a little character of mine. 479 00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:31,156 Real nutty little guy named travis bickle 480 00:21:31,224 --> 00:21:33,625 From a movie called Taxi Driver. 481 00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:38,163 And that goes a little something like this. 482 00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,269 "are you talking to me? 483 00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:46,005 "are you talking to me? 484 00:21:46,072 --> 00:21:48,507 Hey, are you talking to me?" 485 00:21:48,575 --> 00:21:50,209 Thank you very much. 486 00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:53,779 ...Had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell 487 00:21:53,847 --> 00:21:56,115 Miss Lucy went to heaven, the steamboat went to 488 00:21:56,182 --> 00:21:57,583 All right, that's good. 489 00:21:57,650 --> 00:22:00,419 All right, here's your t-shirt. 490 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:03,555 One for each of you. That's good enough. 491 00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:07,259 Anybody else got anything they... 492 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:08,694 All right. All right. 493 00:22:08,762 --> 00:22:09,962 That's good enough. 494 00:22:10,030 --> 00:22:12,364 That's--two scripts! Signed scripts. 495 00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:13,732 You got the two t-shirts. 496 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,802 Anybody else want any... 497 00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:27,813 498 00:22:29,649 --> 00:22:33,986 goodbye my friend it's hard to die 499 00:22:34,054 --> 00:22:38,991 when all the birds are singing in the sky 500 00:22:39,059 --> 00:22:43,529 ...The seasons in the air 501 00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:45,564 pretty girls are everywhere 502 00:22:45,632 --> 00:22:47,800 look for me and i'll be there 503 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:52,271 we had joy, we had fun we had seasons in the sun 504 00:22:52,339 --> 00:22:54,373 and the hills and the climbs 505 00:22:54,441 --> 00:22:56,375 are the seasons of our time 506 00:22:56,443 --> 00:23:00,212 we had joy, we had fun we had seasons in the sun 507 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,281 and the hills that we climbed 508 00:23:02,349 --> 00:23:04,316 were just seasons out of time 509 00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:08,120 we had joy, we had fun we had seasons in the sun 510 00:23:08,188 --> 00:23:10,189 and the hills that we climbed 511 00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:12,124 knocked the seasons out of time 512 00:23:12,192 --> 00:23:15,861 we had joy, we had fun we had seasons in the sun 513 00:23:15,929 --> 00:23:17,496 and the hills that we climbed 514 00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:19,098 knocked the seasons out of time 48518

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.