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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:16,340 Have a lovely weekend, darling. 2 00:00:16,340 --> 00:00:20,580 This isn't about a lovely weekend. It's about winning the money. See you later. 3 00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:26,460 Hello. Are you looking for Chaucer College? 4 00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,100 I do hope so. 5 00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:30,940 Yes. Excellent. 6 00:00:30,940 --> 00:00:33,620 That's the best news I've heard all year. Well, this way. 7 00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:41,620 Ethan. 8 00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:43,460 Yes. 9 00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:46,940 Don't you remember me? 10 00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:51,580 Alas and alack, the world is full of people I don't remember. 11 00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:53,340 Generally a very good thing. 12 00:00:53,340 --> 00:00:55,220 Shall we? 13 00:01:03,940 --> 00:01:07,220 Have a good weekend. Everything all right for tomorrow? 14 00:01:07,220 --> 00:01:10,100 Nervous? Why should I be nervous? I'll call you back. 15 00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:12,260 What have you got there? 16 00:01:12,260 --> 00:01:15,300 She's my Gibson L-5. We're off to a festival of world music. 17 00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:17,180 World music? 18 00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:21,140 All of it? You'll need a big room. It's in the open air. Are you doing nice things? 19 00:01:22,180 --> 00:01:23,780 If I told you, you wouldn't believe me. 20 00:01:55,540 --> 00:01:57,380 Room OK? It's a room. 21 00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:01,540 Do you really need that? Better than a teddy bear, trust me. 22 00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:12,940 Ethan, how are you doing? Room OK? No complaints? 23 00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:16,180 No, none whatsoever. Actually, this is my old college. 24 00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:18,460 So it's just like old times. 25 00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:22,620 The women are a little bit older, but there's...no substitute for experience. 26 00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:26,020 Oh, well, you're all here to have a good time. 27 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:29,620 It's a bank holiday weekend. It isn't about avarice and greed. 28 00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:30,820 Enjoy. 29 00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:34,540 I assume we get a choice of all seven of the deadly sins. 30 00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:36,460 Up to you, Ethan. 31 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:42,700 Mr Richards. Donald. What can I do for you? 32 00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:44,660 The old folk would like some reassurance 33 00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:47,540 that you won't be asking us endless questions about pop music. 34 00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:49,860 We are very good on Aristotle, 35 00:02:49,860 --> 00:02:54,300 but reciting the hit songs of Elvis Presley in reverse order is frankly beyond our compass. 36 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:54,620 but reciting the hit songs of Elvis Presley in reverse order is frankly beyond our compass. 37 00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:59,900 In the Quizaholics world there are many mansions. 38 00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,020 I feared there might be. 39 00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:12,900 Dinner is served! So, if you'll pardon the expression, walk this way. 40 00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:27,020 Suitcase! 41 00:03:27,020 --> 00:03:29,180 Cousin's wedding in Norfolk. 42 00:03:29,180 --> 00:03:31,700 Is that good? Ask me Monday. 43 00:03:37,420 --> 00:03:39,340 (CHATTER) 44 00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:44,820 First off... 45 00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:46,860 I'm sorry, but why 'off'? 46 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:49,140 Why not simply 'first'? 47 00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:53,820 Forgive me. I'm not used to running quiz weekends in Oxford. I'll try to be more careful. 48 00:03:53,820 --> 00:03:56,020 Don't worry on our account, Marcus. First... 49 00:03:56,020 --> 00:03:58,500 welcome to the Quizaholics Weekend. 50 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:03,220 By Sunday evening, one of the six teams sitting round this table will be £5,000 richer. 51 00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:04,380 By Sunday evening, one of the six teams sitting round this table will be £5,000 richer. 52 00:04:04,380 --> 00:04:06,980 But we're not here for the money. We're here to have fun. OK? 53 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,740 OK. 54 00:04:08,740 --> 00:04:11,180 So, let's start by having the teams tell us who they are? 55 00:04:12,380 --> 00:04:15,780 I'm Eve Rigby. And I'm Robyn Strong. 56 00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:18,500 And our team is called the Red Hot Mamas. 57 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:22,060 As in Sophie Tucker? The original Red Hot Mama? 58 00:04:22,060 --> 00:04:24,980 According to my grandma, yes. 59 00:04:24,980 --> 00:04:29,460 We met at an antenatal class and started the quiz team to stop our brains turning to porridge. 60 00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:30,540 We met at an antenatal class and started the quiz team to stop our brains turning to porridge. 61 00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:33,940 Also to prove you don't have to be a bloke to be a boring old anorak. 62 00:04:36,660 --> 00:04:39,100 Well, we know who you are. You're Ethan Croft. 63 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:41,420 Once upon a time, you and I were at school together. 64 00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:45,820 So you tell me. All I can say is that it was a very big school... 65 00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:45,900 So you tell me. All I can say is that it was a very big school... 66 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,940 with many beautiful people. 67 00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:51,740 Meanwhile, back at the agenda. 68 00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:55,300 Sorry. Like the lady says, I'm Ethan Croft. 69 00:04:55,300 --> 00:05:00,020 I'm a former student of this college and now a primary school teacher. 70 00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:00,540 I'm a former student of this college and now a primary school teacher. 71 00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:03,900 So, clearly sent on this earth to educate the young. 72 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:06,940 Educate the young? Fascinating concept. 73 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,220 It'll never catch on. 74 00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:12,260 Our team is called Nuts. And are you? 75 00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:16,060 We're both active members of the National Union of Teachers. Hence... 76 00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:17,660 Nuts. 77 00:05:17,660 --> 00:05:22,340 I'm Ava Taylor, branch secretary. Ethan's our officially designated trouble-maker. 78 00:05:22,340 --> 00:05:27,020 We plan the revolution on the first Friday of every month, but nobody ever shows up. 79 00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:29,820 (FORCED LAUGH) That's Excellent. 80 00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:31,700 Well, we encourage troublemakers. 81 00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:36,940 Alfie, tell us about yourselves. 82 00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:40,100 I'm Alfie Wilkinson and this is Sophie Barton. 83 00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:42,140 Hi. We're students. 84 00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:46,500 We're broke. We're called Toxic Debt and you may be here to have fun, 85 00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,380 but we need to win the money. 86 00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:51,700 We're two little lambs who need some quantitative easing. 87 00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:54,540 Well, we wish you luck. Yeah, but not too much. 88 00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:57,700 Next? 89 00:05:57,700 --> 00:06:00,620 My name is Professor Donald Terry. 90 00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:03,740 And my colleague is Professor Milner. Good evening. 91 00:06:03,740 --> 00:06:05,940 And our team is called the Grey Guardians, 92 00:06:05,940 --> 00:06:09,980 seeking to uphold the principles of truth, beauty and wisdom 93 00:06:09,980 --> 00:06:14,020 in an age that has placed its faith, mistakenly, in mere information. 94 00:06:15,180 --> 00:06:19,900 Well, we'll go easy on Elvis Presley, heavy metal and rap. 95 00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:20,540 Well, we'll go easy on Elvis Presley, heavy metal and rap. 96 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:23,140 Diane, we've lost you... 97 00:06:23,140 --> 00:06:25,180 Diane Baxter. Lieutenant. 98 00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:27,340 Brian Kaye. Colour sergeant. 99 00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:30,820 He was my instructor at Sandhurst. We're called the Old Contemptibles, 100 00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:33,620 and we're here to prove that soldiers aren't thick. 101 00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:36,700 Well, I think we can take your word for that. 102 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,700 Good idea. 103 00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:41,100 Which only leaves... Sebastian Anderson. 104 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:44,020 And this is my colleague Jessica Neill. Hello. 105 00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:47,100 And our team is called the Class Of '89. 106 00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,380 As in Oxford? Yes, indeed. 107 00:06:49,380 --> 00:06:53,460 But now living and working in the real world. Lawyers, for our sins. 108 00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:57,620 Well, other people's sins. But seeking redemption. 109 00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:59,820 Don't waste your time. It's overrated. 110 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,780 We are the rump and I use the word advisedly, 111 00:07:03,780 --> 00:07:08,660 of a college team trounced on network television by some hairy louts from Keele. 112 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:12,180 Redemption would seem highly necessary. 113 00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:16,060 What happened to the other two members of your University Challenge team? 114 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:19,020 One of them's a Euro MP and the other one's in prison. 115 00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:21,940 Purely the luck of the draw. It could have gone either way. 116 00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:25,780 But we're both very nice people. Irresistibly so. 117 00:07:25,780 --> 00:07:28,220 Well, now that we've all got to know each other, 118 00:07:28,220 --> 00:07:30,940 I thought we'd start as we mean to go on... with a quiz. 119 00:07:30,940 --> 00:07:32,940 Goody goody. 120 00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:37,420 Now, this is just for our amusement. The real work starts tomorrow. 121 00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:41,940 Fingers on buzzers, as it were. First one to get three right will be declared the winner. 122 00:07:41,940 --> 00:07:42,060 Fingers on buzzers, as it were. First one to get three right will be declared the winner. 123 00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:44,820 It's all in fun and the referee's decision is final. 124 00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:48,100 I call this section 'Only Connect'. 125 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:51,300 So, question number one. 126 00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:56,140 What connects the years 1939 and 2008? 127 00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:56,460 What connects the years 1939 and 2008? 128 00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:59,020 Easy-peasy. Portsmouth won the FA Cup. Correct. 129 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,060 God, I might have guessed there'd be football. 130 00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:02,620 There always is football. 131 00:08:03,660 --> 00:08:08,180 Next. What connects Al Jolson... with an operatic aria by Puccini? 132 00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:10,220 Next. What connects Al Jolson... with an operatic aria by Puccini? 133 00:08:10,220 --> 00:08:12,100 (SPOON CLINKS ON GLASS) Avalon. 134 00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:15,580 Well, can you tell us more? 135 00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:20,140 Yes. Jolson stole the tune and Puccini successfully sued him for plagiarism. 136 00:08:20,140 --> 00:08:22,060 That's correct. 137 00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:24,100 No marks, but anyone know the aria? 138 00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:27,980 # E lucevan le stelle... # 139 00:08:27,980 --> 00:08:31,500 From Tosca. There was a chap called Rose. 140 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:34,500 He changed it from a minor key to a major key and added a few notes. 141 00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:37,900 But it still cost them $25,000. 142 00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:41,660 The sort of thing I would have thought lawyers would have known. 143 00:08:41,660 --> 00:08:43,460 That was brilliant. 144 00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:46,740 You should see me when I really try. 145 00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:50,580 That man will have to go. 146 00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:53,500 # E LUCEVAN LE STELLE 147 00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:18,060 (VOLUME DOWN) 148 00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:25,180 Hi, it's me again. 149 00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,300 No, nothing's happened. 150 00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:31,260 Just, you know, double-checking. 151 00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:37,700 (DRUMMING AND PIPING) 152 00:09:43,980 --> 00:09:45,900 Sorry. 153 00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:51,700 We are down to our final two contestants. 154 00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:55,460 Donald and Ethan. 155 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:58,740 So this is your sudden death question. 156 00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:02,860 What connects waste products with The Wasteland? 157 00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:05,140 Ethan? T S Eliot. 158 00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:07,100 Can you be more specific? 159 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,540 Yes. TS Eliot wrote The Wasteland and his name, 160 00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:12,860 as any crossword buff will tell you, is an anagram of 'toilets', 161 00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:17,660 where, in an ideal society, all waste products go. 162 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,860 (LAUGHS) That's correct! 163 00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:23,220 I hereby declare Ethan is the winer! 164 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,500 Infantile chairman. 165 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:31,060 Well, for now, the bar will remain open. 166 00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:33,780 We will reconvene here at ten o'clock in the morning, 167 00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:36,460 In the meantime, the night is still very young 168 00:10:36,460 --> 00:10:40,540 and the rest of it is yours to do with as you think fit and according to your predilections. 169 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:44,340 Is it all right if we go to the pub? Do as you like. It's a fun weekend. 170 00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:48,460 But remember the gates will be locked at nine o'clock outside of term time. 171 00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:50,420 To stop tourists stealing the heritage. 172 00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:53,100 So when you come back, you will have to ring the bell. 173 00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,260 The bell has the word 'press' written on it. 174 00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:58,820 A very grumpy man called Lester will eventually let you in. 175 00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:02,660 That sounds like the voice of experience. I know all the exits and entrances. 176 00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:06,380 All the ghosts lurking in the shadows. We're students here. We know all that stuff. 177 00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:08,300 Ring the bell and ask for Lester. 178 00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:12,100 Listen, can I buy you both a drink? 179 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:16,220 I've never bought a drink for a Red Hot Mama before. 180 00:11:16,220 --> 00:11:18,460 And I have plenty of secrets to share. 181 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:21,980 After those questions I'm a bit lukewarm, but you never know your luck. 182 00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:24,780 You don't even remember your own secrets, Ethan. 183 00:11:24,780 --> 00:11:27,100 Perhaps I just need a little more persuading. 184 00:11:29,140 --> 00:11:31,100 Did you say something? 185 00:11:33,020 --> 00:11:35,940 Well, the words 'smooth' and 'operator' come to mind. 186 00:11:40,180 --> 00:11:42,620 # E LUCEVAN LE STELLE 187 00:11:55,860 --> 00:12:00,260 Are we allowing names of obscure and generally discredited political philosophers? 188 00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:02,540 You want to put 'Gramsci', put 'Gramsci'. 189 00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:08,700 The army has a question for you, Mr Richards. The name's Marcus. 190 00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:12,220 All right...Marcus. But it's still the same question. 191 00:12:12,220 --> 00:12:14,100 Where does the money come from? 192 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,980 Sorry. Which money? 193 00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:18,380 The £5,000 that one of these teams are gonna win? 194 00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:21,420 Oh. From a sponsor...within the industry. 195 00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:24,180 You have to understand quizzes are the new rock'n'roll. 196 00:12:24,180 --> 00:12:27,420 People can become millionaires just from answering silly questions. 197 00:12:27,420 --> 00:12:30,340 Ask a silly question. Exactly. It's the world we live in. 198 00:12:31,340 --> 00:12:35,220 I'm telling you. I know all the secrets of this place. 199 00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:38,860 There are people here who should be in prison. 200 00:12:38,860 --> 00:12:40,540 In Oxford? 201 00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:43,900 In this very building. Golly gosh. 202 00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:46,020 But that's probably true of anywhere. 203 00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:48,980 Yes. But in Oxford, multiply that by a factor of ten. Believe me. I know. 204 00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:05,500 (SIGHS HEAVILY) 205 00:13:06,940 --> 00:13:08,860 Good news, it still fits. 206 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:13,980 Bad news, you look like a bloody wine waiter. 207 00:13:15,220 --> 00:13:18,660 But here's the big question... The sudden death question? 208 00:13:18,660 --> 00:13:21,140 Who wants to come with me on the conducted tour? 209 00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:23,660 Chaucer College by night. 210 00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:26,580 The secret places. The ghosts. 211 00:13:26,580 --> 00:13:29,420 The buried bodies. 212 00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:34,180 Excellent. 213 00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:36,460 Eve? 214 00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:40,860 Oh, come on, you are breaking my heart. 215 00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:43,820 I think you're the sort of man my mother warned me about. 216 00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:45,740 And you ignored her. 217 00:13:48,980 --> 00:13:53,180 (WHISPERS) Don't worry. I am the gentlest man... 218 00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:54,780 on the planet. 219 00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:10,740 (LAUGHTER) 220 00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:54,700 That's quite enough intellectual ferment for one night. 221 00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:58,460 Rather more than I'm used to, as a matter of fact. 222 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,860 What do we think of our fellow travellers? 223 00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:05,140 I suppose they're a cross-section. 224 00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:07,380 Of what? God knows. 225 00:15:10,780 --> 00:15:12,700 Well, come on, then. 226 00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:15,740 Thank you. 227 00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:19,700 (LAUGHTER) 228 00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:21,620 Come on! Come on! 229 00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:35,220 We didn't wake you, did we? Not entirely, no. 230 00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:38,020 It's very nice of you and you're not at all grumpy. 231 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,620 Who says I'd be grumpy? Bloke called Croft. Ethan Croft. 232 00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:44,060 Yeah. Ethan Croft. Used to be a student here. 233 00:15:44,060 --> 00:15:45,900 Oh, yes, I remember him. 234 00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:51,300 A lot of people remember him. 235 00:15:52,380 --> 00:15:57,140 I spy with my little eye something beginning with... 236 00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:59,100 '2PU.' 237 00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:01,220 Two pissed undergraduates. 238 00:16:01,220 --> 00:16:03,180 Correct. Your turn. 239 00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:05,300 Oh, look. All the lights are out. 240 00:16:06,180 --> 00:16:08,500 All the old folk have gone to bed. 241 00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:12,820 We're playing a game, remember? 242 00:16:12,820 --> 00:16:14,700 Sorry. 243 00:16:15,860 --> 00:16:20,340 I spy with my little eye something beginning with... 244 00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:21,620 I spy with my little eye something beginning with... 245 00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:24,940 '..UST'. 246 00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,540 Too easy. Unresolved Sexual Tension. 247 00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:29,700 Brilliant. Your turn. 248 00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:34,580 I spy with my little eye something beginning with... 249 00:16:34,580 --> 00:16:35,300 I spy with my little eye something beginning with... 250 00:16:38,820 --> 00:16:40,940 '..BFIW'. 251 00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:43,380 BFIW? Yes. 252 00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:45,340 Could you spell that for me, please? 253 00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:48,380 Body floating in water. 254 00:16:58,020 --> 00:16:59,860 (PHONE RINGS) 255 00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:13,340 Yeah. 256 00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:17,580 Where? 257 00:17:17,580 --> 00:17:19,460 (MUSICAL PERFORMANCE ENDS) 258 00:17:22,380 --> 00:17:24,300 MUSICIAN: Thank you! Thank you! 259 00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:28,540 (MOUTHS) 260 00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:40,020 No, no, please! 261 00:17:44,340 --> 00:17:45,980 Thank you! 262 00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:47,900 Thank you very much! 263 00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:50,660 (CAR ALARM) 264 00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:59,580 Do we know who he is? 265 00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:02,580 Ethan Croft. A teacher apparently. 266 00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:04,580 What was he doing here? 267 00:18:04,580 --> 00:18:06,500 Taking part in a quiz weekend. 268 00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:11,460 I see. So Mr Croft is our starter for ten. 269 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,860 Where's our favourite sergeant? 270 00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:20,380 On his way back from a world music festival in Somerset. 271 00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:23,620 Swearing all the way, I should think. I know the feeling. 272 00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:25,500 Me, too. 273 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,620 I'm sorry about... Our best laid plans? 274 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:34,780 Right. Better get to work. 275 00:19:11,660 --> 00:19:14,060 Sergeant Hathaway. Lester Garvey. 276 00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:18,460 We're gonna need to lock everybody in. Can you handle that? 277 00:19:18,460 --> 00:19:20,580 I've been doing it for years. 278 00:19:20,580 --> 00:19:22,460 But never for grown-ups. 279 00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:26,900 I'll enjoy that. 280 00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:43,100 Sorry about your weekend. 281 00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,020 Yeah, sorry about yours. 282 00:19:45,020 --> 00:19:47,180 What's all this about? 283 00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:52,180 It's about a quiz weekend. Six teams of two competing for a £5,000 cash prize. 284 00:19:52,180 --> 00:19:52,300 It's about a quiz weekend. Six teams of two competing for a £5,000 cash prize. 285 00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:54,980 Organised by a man called Marcus Richards. 286 00:19:54,980 --> 00:19:57,180 These the teams? 287 00:19:57,180 --> 00:20:01,500 Yeah, we've got Oxford dons, City lawyers, primary school teachers, 288 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,740 students, squaddies and young mums. 289 00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:07,060 Deceased? Michael Ethan Croft. 290 00:20:07,060 --> 00:20:09,820 A primary school teacher. Found in the ornamental pool. 291 00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:13,020 Body was discovered by the students coming back just after midnight. 292 00:20:13,020 --> 00:20:14,700 Where are all these people now? 293 00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:18,500 Most of them sound asleep. We can confront them over their hearty breakfast. 294 00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:21,260 Or take Shakespeare's advice and start by killing the lawyers. 295 00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:25,900 Listen, I know this has screwed up your weekend, but... 296 00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:28,780 No, no, no. This hasn't screwed up my weekend. 297 00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:30,820 My guitar got nicked. 298 00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:32,980 Where was it? 299 00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:35,340 The boot of the car. I broke the golden rule. 300 00:20:35,340 --> 00:20:37,460 Which is...? 301 00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:40,300 Never let your instrument out of your sight. 302 00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:41,700 I didn't know that. 303 00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:45,220 What about piano players? 304 00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:48,540 For them, the instrument is usually provided. Of course. Sorry. 305 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,660 Is it valuable? 306 00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:52,660 Yeah, to me it is. 307 00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:54,740 It fits the shape of my hand. 308 00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,980 Right. Names and addresses of all the teams. 309 00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:02,340 We have until breakfast to see if we've got anything on record. 310 00:21:03,460 --> 00:21:05,460 What do you think about quizzes? 311 00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:07,700 Terminally pointless. 312 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,980 Right up there with slugs and black pudding. 313 00:21:11,740 --> 00:21:15,780 As you know, Ethan Croft was murdered last night. 314 00:21:15,780 --> 00:21:18,900 And that being so, Sergeant Hathaway and I 315 00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:22,820 would like to speak to each of you individually over the course of the morning. 316 00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:25,740 That is unless anyone wishes to confess. 317 00:21:29,420 --> 00:21:31,620 Worth a try. 318 00:21:31,620 --> 00:21:34,020 I should also make it clear that the college gates 319 00:21:34,020 --> 00:21:37,620 will be shut until further notice. No-one leaves without our permission. 320 00:21:37,620 --> 00:21:40,300 Forgive me if I sound like a lawyer, but can you do that? 321 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:43,060 By the time our lawyers have discussed it with your lawyers 322 00:21:43,060 --> 00:21:45,220 the case would probably be closed anyway. 323 00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:48,060 Don't worry, we can all huddle together for warmth. 324 00:21:48,060 --> 00:21:52,300 Now, maybe we can start with Mr Croft's team partner, Mrs Taylor? 325 00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:54,140 Is that correct? That's me. 326 00:22:01,060 --> 00:22:05,620 Ethan was a brilliant man, academically. He was deeply committed politically. 327 00:22:05,620 --> 00:22:05,900 Ethan was a brilliant man, academically. He was deeply committed politically. 328 00:22:07,020 --> 00:22:09,220 And a charmer. 329 00:22:09,220 --> 00:22:11,060 Though I have to say, it didn't work on me. 330 00:22:13,060 --> 00:22:15,260 It sounds like you're working up to a 'but'. 331 00:22:17,060 --> 00:22:18,980 He drank and he was a womaniser. 332 00:22:20,140 --> 00:22:22,700 Is that why he was teaching in a primary school? 333 00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:24,500 That's a fair comment. 334 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:27,740 Somewhere a brilliant career had run onto the rocks. 335 00:22:28,860 --> 00:22:30,780 But I never worked out why. 336 00:22:31,940 --> 00:22:35,460 Last night after dinner everyone went to the bar, is that right? 337 00:22:35,460 --> 00:22:37,540 Apart from those students. How was it? 338 00:22:37,540 --> 00:22:39,860 Quiet? Noisy? People talking to one another? 339 00:22:39,860 --> 00:22:42,980 Honest answer, it was...a little boring. 340 00:22:44,100 --> 00:22:45,980 I don't know. I thought that... 341 00:22:47,020 --> 00:22:51,180 ..in a way, this weekend would be like revisiting the Oxford of my student days. 342 00:22:52,340 --> 00:22:54,780 And it wasn't. We grow older, Sergeant. 343 00:22:54,780 --> 00:22:57,300 Ethan Croft was a student here. Did you know him? 344 00:22:57,300 --> 00:23:01,420 Not that I'm aware of. I mean, we might have been in the same room on occasion. 345 00:23:01,420 --> 00:23:05,700 The Union or whatever pubs we used to go to back then. But I don't remember him. 346 00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:08,980 Mind you, the world is full of people I've never met. 347 00:23:08,980 --> 00:23:11,620 I have enough trouble with the people I have met. 348 00:23:12,940 --> 00:23:16,620 Still, this weekend is not entirely without interest, is it? 349 00:23:16,620 --> 00:23:18,500 A real-life country house murder. 350 00:23:19,420 --> 00:23:21,500 Miss Scarlett with the lead piping. 351 00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:23,380 High on our list of suspects. 352 00:23:25,220 --> 00:23:28,900 We're regular army. We don't meet many civilians and I only met them yesterday. 353 00:23:28,900 --> 00:23:30,660 Did you notice anything about Croft? 354 00:23:31,620 --> 00:23:34,700 He was doing some serious chatting up of one of the women. 355 00:23:34,700 --> 00:23:37,460 And, as my father used to say, he had drink taken. 356 00:23:39,060 --> 00:23:41,540 Am I allowed to make an observation? 357 00:23:41,540 --> 00:23:43,780 All police work starts with observation. 358 00:23:43,780 --> 00:23:46,500 Our cheerful host, Mr Richards... 359 00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:50,460 He's a bit...smooth for my taste. 360 00:23:50,460 --> 00:23:52,580 I'm not crazy about smooth myself. 361 00:23:53,980 --> 00:23:56,980 And I have an observation of my own. Yes? 362 00:23:56,980 --> 00:23:58,620 Did you bruise your hand? 363 00:23:58,620 --> 00:24:01,820 Yes. Last week, on manoeuvres. 364 00:24:01,820 --> 00:24:04,260 It was a brief encounter with the side of an armoured car. 365 00:24:06,020 --> 00:24:08,820 He invited us to go on a conducted tour of the college 366 00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:11,300 and all its dark secrets. 367 00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:13,060 And did you go? Yes, but... 368 00:24:14,180 --> 00:24:17,700 ..not all the way, if you know what I mean. Did you like him? 369 00:24:17,700 --> 00:24:20,100 He had a lot to say. Mostly about himself. 370 00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:21,980 That wasn't the question. 371 00:24:22,700 --> 00:24:25,420 Charming, I suppose. Very clever. 372 00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:27,820 But still a man, whichever way you look at it. 373 00:24:27,820 --> 00:24:30,340 I've never really been all that good with men. 374 00:24:30,340 --> 00:24:32,500 I can only apologise on behalf of my gender. 375 00:24:33,660 --> 00:24:36,660 I'll apologise to your friend if she can spare a minute. 376 00:24:37,580 --> 00:24:39,260 Miss Strong. Word, please. 377 00:24:45,740 --> 00:24:47,780 I'm told you wanted a word. 378 00:24:47,780 --> 00:24:49,020 Yeah. 379 00:24:51,060 --> 00:24:53,140 We've been looking at your website. 380 00:24:53,140 --> 00:24:55,100 Oh, yes. 381 00:24:55,100 --> 00:24:57,580 It's good, isn't it? My son designed that. 382 00:24:57,580 --> 00:25:02,180 It says here you're a former winner of two major television quiz programmes. 383 00:25:02,180 --> 00:25:04,340 But it doesn't say which ones. 384 00:25:04,340 --> 00:25:07,340 One was in Canada and the other was in South Africa. 385 00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:10,340 Did you win a lot of money? Not enough to retire on. 386 00:25:10,340 --> 00:25:12,180 That's why I'm running these quiz weekends. 387 00:25:13,380 --> 00:25:17,140 It also refers to your background in broadcasting. 388 00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:19,980 But again, it's a bit vague on the detail. 389 00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:22,820 Are we still talking Canada and South Africa? 390 00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:23,860 Yes. 391 00:25:26,620 --> 00:25:29,180 Everyone dresses up their CV a bit. 392 00:25:29,180 --> 00:25:31,340 I'm sure it goes on in the police force. 393 00:25:31,340 --> 00:25:34,420 We have the facilities to check and double check. 394 00:25:34,420 --> 00:25:35,980 And we do. 395 00:25:37,940 --> 00:25:41,500 I'm just an honest hustler trying to make a living in a tough world. 396 00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:44,140 Where does the £5,000 come from? 397 00:25:45,260 --> 00:25:47,420 It's... It's self-financing. 398 00:25:48,540 --> 00:25:53,140 People pay £500 for the weekend. If I rig the books properly, I come out slightly ahead. 399 00:25:53,140 --> 00:25:53,540 People pay £500 for the weekend. If I rig the books properly, I come out slightly ahead. 400 00:25:53,540 --> 00:25:55,580 £500? 401 00:25:55,580 --> 00:25:59,020 Yeah. They get full board in an Oxford college for the weekend 402 00:25:59,020 --> 00:26:01,700 and the chance to make exciting new friends. 403 00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:05,220 I'd hoped to attract a few more, but the bank holiday hasn't done us any favours. 404 00:26:05,220 --> 00:26:07,980 Be lucky to break even. Exciting new friends? 405 00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:11,700 Is that why it says 'singles welcome' on the website? 406 00:26:11,700 --> 00:26:13,700 Yes. 407 00:26:13,700 --> 00:26:16,060 Are all of the people here single? 408 00:26:16,060 --> 00:26:20,460 I've no idea. I suppose we mean 'single at heart'. We're all consenting adults. 409 00:26:20,460 --> 00:26:20,740 I've no idea. I suppose we mean 'single at heart'. We're all consenting adults. 410 00:26:20,740 --> 00:26:23,980 Were you aware of any of the consenting adults pairing off last night? 411 00:26:23,980 --> 00:26:26,140 I make it my policy to look the other way. 412 00:26:27,140 --> 00:26:31,580 Though I have to say I think Ethan Croft was on the prowl in a big way. 413 00:26:31,580 --> 00:26:32,900 Didn't do him much good. 414 00:26:34,100 --> 00:26:37,060 We need to know more about people's movements last night. 415 00:26:37,060 --> 00:26:39,260 So try very hard to remember. 416 00:26:39,260 --> 00:26:41,500 Looking the other way isn't much help. 417 00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:43,420 OK. I'll try. 418 00:26:45,140 --> 00:26:48,060 I need to ask you something, actually. What? 419 00:26:49,100 --> 00:26:52,060 Would it be all right to carry on with the quiz weekend? 420 00:26:52,060 --> 00:26:54,380 If it's what the people want. 421 00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:57,900 From my professional point of view, I just want people to stay within reach. 422 00:26:57,900 --> 00:27:00,380 Thank you. You're a gentleman. 423 00:27:07,340 --> 00:27:10,140 He was my first boyfriend. 424 00:27:10,140 --> 00:27:13,340 I was 14. He was 16. 425 00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:16,500 And then when I saw his name on the website for this weekend... 426 00:27:17,900 --> 00:27:19,900 ..I thought maybe... 427 00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:21,540 maybe it's never too late. 428 00:27:22,660 --> 00:27:25,100 But I was wrong. 429 00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:28,660 He just didn't remember me. And then even if he did, he obviously preferred Eve. 430 00:27:29,860 --> 00:27:32,700 This conducted tour of the college, how did it end? 431 00:27:32,700 --> 00:27:35,980 As you'd expect. An invitation to his room for a nightcap. 432 00:27:35,980 --> 00:27:38,060 And did you go? No. Definitely not. 433 00:27:43,020 --> 00:27:44,980 Eve might have done. 434 00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:46,900 Why would she go and you not? 435 00:27:49,060 --> 00:27:53,460 The message was... Well, the message that I got was that he was up for a threesome. 436 00:27:53,460 --> 00:27:53,660 The message was... Well, the message that I got was that he was up for a threesome. 437 00:27:54,620 --> 00:27:58,220 I don't play those kind of games. Not even with... 438 00:27:59,340 --> 00:28:01,300 ..with someone I once loved. 439 00:28:04,860 --> 00:28:06,780 Thanks for talking to me. 440 00:28:16,940 --> 00:28:19,780 What did you tell him? Enough, no more. 441 00:28:19,780 --> 00:28:21,700 All of it true. 442 00:28:26,940 --> 00:28:29,420 Mr Terry. Professor Terry. 443 00:28:29,420 --> 00:28:32,740 Forgive me. Did you know Ethan Croft prior to this weekend? 444 00:28:32,740 --> 00:28:34,500 Absolutely not. 445 00:28:34,500 --> 00:28:39,340 Our information is that he was a student here during the late '80s. And briefly a junior lecturer. 446 00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:39,500 Our information is that he was a student here during the late '80s. And briefly a junior lecturer. 447 00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:43,580 This is Oxford. I'm a research fellow specialising in modern history. 448 00:28:43,580 --> 00:28:45,620 Students are not one of my primary concerns. 449 00:28:47,900 --> 00:28:49,820 Is that the box office? 450 00:28:52,020 --> 00:28:56,820 I booked two tickets for tonight's performance, but work has cropped up. 451 00:28:56,820 --> 00:28:56,940 I booked two tickets for tonight's performance, but work has cropped up. 452 00:28:56,940 --> 00:28:59,020 I'm not gonna be able to make it. 453 00:29:00,180 --> 00:29:02,420 Yeah, I know. It's not about the money. 454 00:29:02,420 --> 00:29:06,540 So, I dunno, give them away to the poor of the parish. But use them, eh? 455 00:29:07,620 --> 00:29:09,700 The name is Lewis. 456 00:29:09,700 --> 00:29:11,740 Tonight. The Fairy Queen. 457 00:29:11,740 --> 00:29:13,900 The Fairy Queen? 458 00:29:13,900 --> 00:29:16,820 It's an opera. Was that your bank holiday weekend? 459 00:29:16,820 --> 00:29:18,580 It was. 460 00:29:18,580 --> 00:29:22,420 Covent Garden? No, The Fairy Queen's on at Glyndebourne, isn't it? 461 00:29:22,420 --> 00:29:25,380 Two tickets? Yeah, I was going with a friend. 462 00:29:25,380 --> 00:29:27,580 I do have friends. 463 00:29:27,580 --> 00:29:30,020 Modern architecture. What are they up to? 464 00:29:30,020 --> 00:29:32,060 Nothing. They're students. 465 00:29:32,060 --> 00:29:35,620 Who designed the Guggenheim Museum? Frank Lloyd Wright. 466 00:29:35,620 --> 00:29:37,500 Come on. Back to work. 467 00:29:39,220 --> 00:29:40,940 Should we be doing this? Of course. 468 00:29:40,940 --> 00:29:42,660 We can't win if we don't practise. 469 00:29:48,500 --> 00:29:51,580 This used to be one of the finest college libraries in Oxford. 470 00:29:51,580 --> 00:29:53,660 Because it had all your books? 471 00:29:53,660 --> 00:29:55,340 Why else? 472 00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:59,420 Purely as a matter of interest, have you read them all? 473 00:29:59,420 --> 00:30:01,300 All what? Your books? 474 00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:03,540 Oh, good God, no. They're unreadable. 475 00:30:03,540 --> 00:30:05,860 Which is, no doubt, the point. Naturally. 476 00:30:07,380 --> 00:30:09,460 How many have you written? 477 00:30:09,460 --> 00:30:11,460 My next book will be my first. 478 00:30:11,460 --> 00:30:13,540 And finest, no doubt. 479 00:30:13,540 --> 00:30:15,620 Lawyers are men of action. 480 00:30:19,900 --> 00:30:22,500 Any joy? No. 481 00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:25,140 Everybody's behaving true to form. 482 00:30:25,140 --> 00:30:28,100 Nobody saw anything that matters a damn. 483 00:30:28,100 --> 00:30:32,140 Our victim was a drinker, a womaniser and a show-off. 484 00:30:32,140 --> 00:30:36,620 That Richards is a shifty sod and we're no further forward. 485 00:30:36,620 --> 00:30:38,860 So I've been thinking about your guitar. 486 00:30:38,860 --> 00:30:41,140 That's nice. Thanks. 487 00:30:41,140 --> 00:30:45,500 If I'd nicked something specialised like a guitar, I wouldn't be trying to flog it down the pub. 488 00:30:45,500 --> 00:30:48,540 I'd put it on the...Net. Is that what I mean? 489 00:30:48,540 --> 00:30:50,420 I'm sure that's what you mean. 490 00:30:51,580 --> 00:30:54,220 Come on. Let's have a proper look at Croft's room. 491 00:30:57,180 --> 00:30:59,100 (BAG UNZIPPED) 492 00:31:06,620 --> 00:31:08,660 Have you noticed his bedside reading? 493 00:31:15,300 --> 00:31:17,340 The Cherry Orchard. Is it? 494 00:31:17,340 --> 00:31:18,460 In Russian. 495 00:31:20,940 --> 00:31:23,100 These orchards all look alike in Russian. 496 00:31:23,100 --> 00:31:25,340 He had a first in modern languages. 497 00:31:25,340 --> 00:31:28,860 Yes. So why was he teaching in a primary school? 498 00:31:28,860 --> 00:31:32,940 It's a big jump from an Oxford first to Plasticine with five-year-olds. 499 00:31:32,940 --> 00:31:34,220 (KNOCKING) 500 00:31:35,180 --> 00:31:37,380 I was hoping to have a word. Of course. 501 00:31:37,380 --> 00:31:40,620 Charles Milner. Professor of engineering. 502 00:31:40,620 --> 00:31:42,500 Very good. Let's have a word, then. 503 00:31:46,900 --> 00:31:50,820 You're probably aware by now that Croft was a brilliant student. 504 00:31:50,820 --> 00:31:53,660 And very briefly, a junior lecturer in modern languages. 505 00:31:53,660 --> 00:31:55,020 Indeed. 506 00:31:55,020 --> 00:31:57,020 Is that what you wanted to tell us? 507 00:31:57,020 --> 00:31:58,340 No. 508 00:31:58,340 --> 00:32:02,180 Professor Terry and I were talking 509 00:32:02,180 --> 00:32:07,140 and we...we vaguely remember that Croft left Oxford under something of a cloud. 510 00:32:07,140 --> 00:32:07,900 and we...we vaguely remember that Croft left Oxford under something of a cloud. 511 00:32:07,900 --> 00:32:09,900 You vaguely remember? 512 00:32:09,900 --> 00:32:12,220 Common room gossip, no more. 513 00:32:12,220 --> 00:32:16,300 He left under a cloud? Is there any possibility you could describe this cloud for us? 514 00:32:17,700 --> 00:32:22,420 It was a sexual harassment case involving a first-year student. 515 00:32:22,420 --> 00:32:22,500 It was a sexual harassment case involving a first-year student. 516 00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:24,740 Which, presumably, is all on record? 517 00:32:25,900 --> 00:32:29,620 I doubt that any of it's on record. Remember where we are. 518 00:32:29,620 --> 00:32:33,140 Vague memories have very little value in police work. 519 00:32:33,140 --> 00:32:36,980 Who would be likely to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? 520 00:32:39,020 --> 00:32:43,620 I believe there's a wife. Wives are pretty good at that sort of thing, in my experience. 521 00:32:43,620 --> 00:32:45,260 Thank you, Professor. 522 00:32:57,820 --> 00:33:00,100 It might be only a vague memory, 523 00:33:00,100 --> 00:33:03,540 but, to me, he just stuck a knife right between Ethan Croft's ribs. 524 00:33:03,540 --> 00:33:05,260 Why would he do that? 525 00:33:05,260 --> 00:33:07,100 Why indeed? 526 00:33:10,260 --> 00:33:13,780 The precise cause of death was drowning, but he was unconscious at the time. 527 00:33:13,780 --> 00:33:16,940 There's bruising to the back of the neck. Like a rabbit punch. 528 00:33:16,940 --> 00:33:19,300 Caused by...? Probably a fist. 529 00:33:19,300 --> 00:33:22,460 Assuming somebody who knew what he was doing. Or she, possibly. 530 00:33:22,460 --> 00:33:27,220 There was also a cut and some bruising to the side of the face, as if he'd been in a fight. 531 00:33:27,220 --> 00:33:31,460 But nothing on the hands, suggesting he didn't fight back. The violence was one-sided. 532 00:33:31,460 --> 00:33:35,660 A couple of our soldiers have somewhat enigmatic CVs. There's a whiff of SAS. 533 00:33:35,660 --> 00:33:37,980 Heaven preserve us from the Ministry of Defence. 534 00:33:37,980 --> 00:33:40,660 And he'd also had sex earlier in the evening. 535 00:33:41,780 --> 00:33:43,180 Well, now. 536 00:33:43,180 --> 00:33:46,260 Eve Rigby said that she went on a guided tour of the college with him, 537 00:33:46,260 --> 00:33:48,780 but, and I quote, she 'didn't go all the way'. 538 00:33:48,780 --> 00:33:51,140 Well, someone did. Unless she's lying. 539 00:33:51,140 --> 00:33:55,180 It ties in with the story about Croft being drummed out of Oxford for sexual harassment. 540 00:33:55,180 --> 00:33:57,180 Any chance of finding out the truth? 541 00:33:57,180 --> 00:33:59,940 We're gonna talk to his wife. You haven't done that yet? 542 00:33:59,940 --> 00:34:03,060 She's visiting her mother in Brighton. She's on her way back now. 543 00:34:03,060 --> 00:34:05,100 And we have a jealous ex-girlfriend. 544 00:34:05,100 --> 00:34:06,900 Namely? Robyn Strong. 545 00:34:06,900 --> 00:34:10,620 She seems to have planned the weekend as a grand reunion with her first love. 546 00:34:10,620 --> 00:34:14,140 They never learn. So are we talking about a crime of passion? 547 00:34:14,140 --> 00:34:17,660 Not my department, guv. But it is relevant that he'd been drinking heavily. 548 00:34:17,660 --> 00:34:21,420 Probably for some years and just about the second-to-last thing he did was have sex. 549 00:34:21,420 --> 00:34:25,540 So where are they now, these Grey Guardians and Red Hot Mamas? 550 00:34:25,540 --> 00:34:27,740 They're having a quiz. And who's Gibson? 551 00:34:27,740 --> 00:34:30,620 There's nobody on any of the teams called Gibson. 552 00:34:30,620 --> 00:34:32,660 Unrelated inquiry. 553 00:34:32,660 --> 00:34:33,820 How was your wedding? 554 00:34:35,060 --> 00:34:39,220 Um, oh... A modern church service. All a bit happy-clappy. 555 00:34:39,220 --> 00:34:42,220 I still prefer the vicar to say, 'Let no man put asunder'. 556 00:34:42,220 --> 00:34:46,180 I sat through the speeches and Uncle Vivian singing Bless This House 557 00:34:46,180 --> 00:34:48,180 and then had to leave before the meal. 558 00:34:48,180 --> 00:34:51,740 My husband's not speaking to me, because he's stuck with all my mad relations. 559 00:34:51,740 --> 00:34:53,180 It's been an all-round triumph. 560 00:34:56,340 --> 00:34:58,180 Any luck with the tickets? 561 00:34:58,180 --> 00:35:00,900 I phoned the box office. They might be able to get rid of them. 562 00:35:00,900 --> 00:35:02,900 I hope so. It's a lot of money. 563 00:35:02,900 --> 00:35:05,220 You lose some, you lose some. 564 00:35:05,220 --> 00:35:07,660 Still, we'll try again another time. 565 00:35:07,660 --> 00:35:09,580 If you're happy about that? 566 00:35:10,740 --> 00:35:12,740 Yeah. I'm happy about that. 567 00:35:12,740 --> 00:35:14,700 Good. 568 00:35:16,060 --> 00:35:18,500 Your date for the weekend, Doctor Hobson? 569 00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:22,140 We were going to Glyndebourne to see The Fairy Queen. 570 00:35:22,140 --> 00:35:24,900 All right? Now you know all there is to know. 571 00:35:24,900 --> 00:35:27,860 Were you overnighting? Mind your own business! 572 00:35:27,860 --> 00:35:29,740 It's only because I care. 573 00:35:32,420 --> 00:35:36,100 These questions all relate to the nicknames of famous people. 574 00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:38,500 So, on the buzzers. 575 00:35:38,500 --> 00:35:41,180 Who was 'the Welsh wizard'? 576 00:35:43,980 --> 00:35:45,940 David Lloyd George. 577 00:35:45,940 --> 00:35:48,860 You're far too young to know that. He knew my father. 578 00:35:50,500 --> 00:35:52,900 Next, another wizard. 579 00:35:55,700 --> 00:35:57,860 Yes? No idea. 580 00:35:57,860 --> 00:35:59,940 I'm just sick of not pressing the buzzer. 581 00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:03,500 It is a quiz, after all. Did you not read the small print? 582 00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:05,740 Are we likely to have an answer at any point? 583 00:36:06,940 --> 00:36:10,220 Just think of a wizard. Any wizard will do. 584 00:36:11,780 --> 00:36:14,020 Merlin? 585 00:36:14,020 --> 00:36:16,180 Sorry. Not Merlin. Handing it over to the other team. 586 00:36:17,260 --> 00:36:22,500 Might that be Stanley Matthews, the footballer? Known as 'the wizard of the dribble'. 587 00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:23,100 Might that be Stanley Matthews, the footballer? Known as 'the wizard of the dribble'. 588 00:36:23,100 --> 00:36:27,980 A brilliant piece of lateral thinking. It's well played, Toxic Debt, bad luck, Class Of '89. 589 00:36:27,980 --> 00:36:28,660 A brilliant piece of lateral thinking. It's well played, Toxic Debt, bad luck, Class Of '89. 590 00:36:28,660 --> 00:36:30,900 (SPORADIC APPLAUSE) 591 00:36:30,900 --> 00:36:33,860 That was brilliant. I know. Blame it on my youth. 592 00:36:33,860 --> 00:36:36,020 We'll take a break, guys. 593 00:36:36,020 --> 00:36:39,980 Back at four for a needle match between the Grey Guardians and the Red Hot Mamas. 594 00:36:44,340 --> 00:36:46,260 You almost shouted at me. 595 00:36:47,220 --> 00:36:49,100 Sorry. I mistook you for my wife. 596 00:36:51,940 --> 00:36:55,660 How can those children possibly know the answers to those questions? 597 00:37:08,780 --> 00:37:10,700 Yes. That's Ethan. 598 00:37:11,780 --> 00:37:13,700 Thank you. 599 00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:18,780 Do you feel...able to talk about your husband? 600 00:37:22,420 --> 00:37:25,060 This is supposed to help, isn't it? 601 00:37:32,860 --> 00:37:35,780 I'm sure everybody's told you that Ethan was a damn fool. 602 00:37:37,100 --> 00:37:41,220 He was...a brilliant damn fool, 603 00:37:42,420 --> 00:37:45,580 but whichever way you look at it, he didn't deserve to be murdered. 604 00:37:47,940 --> 00:37:52,220 We're told he left Oxford under a cloud after having an affair with one of his students. 605 00:37:52,220 --> 00:37:54,300 Who told you that? One of the Oxford Mafia? 606 00:37:54,300 --> 00:37:56,260 It's confidential. I'm sorry. 607 00:37:56,260 --> 00:37:59,700 Well, it's true...about the affair. 608 00:37:59,700 --> 00:38:02,980 But if every academic who had an affair with a student left Oxford, 609 00:38:02,980 --> 00:38:06,700 they'd run out of teaching staff and be asking for volunteers at the Job Centre. 610 00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:09,700 It was before I met him, anyway. 611 00:38:09,700 --> 00:38:11,580 When did you meet him? 612 00:38:13,420 --> 00:38:15,580 Hall Rise Primary School staff room. 613 00:38:16,780 --> 00:38:19,260 So you didn't know him during his Oxford days? 614 00:38:19,260 --> 00:38:21,180 No. I'm strictly a redbrick girl. 615 00:38:24,740 --> 00:38:28,980 I do know he was always very bitter about what happened. I don't know the details. 616 00:38:28,980 --> 00:38:30,900 Can you hazard a guess? 617 00:38:32,060 --> 00:38:35,260 He was brilliant at languages, as I'm sure you probably know. 618 00:38:35,260 --> 00:38:39,100 Russian, Polish, even some of those funny little Baltic countries. 619 00:38:39,100 --> 00:38:42,140 He did a lot of interpreting and translating work. 620 00:38:42,140 --> 00:38:46,660 A couple of times he was an interpreter for some Russian footballers taking driving tests. 621 00:38:47,860 --> 00:38:50,540 I'm not sure I can divine a motive for murder there. 622 00:38:52,820 --> 00:38:57,820 There was a period in the early '90s when he was doing an awful lot of really high-profile work 623 00:38:57,820 --> 00:38:58,460 There was a period in the early '90s when he was doing an awful lot of really high-profile work 624 00:38:58,460 --> 00:39:01,140 and then suddenly it was all just...hack stuff. 625 00:39:02,100 --> 00:39:06,500 Legal aid for some immigrant fruit picker in court on a driving charge. 626 00:39:06,500 --> 00:39:06,860 Legal aid for some immigrant fruit picker in court on a driving charge. 627 00:39:08,060 --> 00:39:12,140 But he never really spoke about his work, not in detail. 628 00:39:13,580 --> 00:39:15,780 You know... 629 00:39:15,780 --> 00:39:18,420 Ethan was all the things you already know about him. 630 00:39:18,420 --> 00:39:20,300 He was...immoral. 631 00:39:21,380 --> 00:39:24,180 He was a drinker, self-centred. 632 00:39:26,140 --> 00:39:28,740 But in professional matters, he was... 633 00:39:30,020 --> 00:39:31,780 ..an honourable man. 634 00:39:33,100 --> 00:39:37,060 He believed in things like public service. That's why he worked for the union. 635 00:39:38,140 --> 00:39:41,340 Hated all that stuff about the free market knows best. 636 00:39:41,340 --> 00:39:44,700 Well, he was right all along about that, wasn't he? 637 00:39:50,300 --> 00:39:54,620 There's something else that you should know. You might find it hard. 638 00:39:54,620 --> 00:39:56,260 You think it's been easy so far? 639 00:39:56,260 --> 00:39:58,180 I realise that, but... 640 00:39:59,780 --> 00:40:00,780 Sergeant... 641 00:40:02,060 --> 00:40:04,940 ..I think it's fair to say that nothing can hurt me now. 642 00:40:04,940 --> 00:40:06,860 So please say whatever it is. 643 00:40:08,340 --> 00:40:12,580 According to the medical evidence, he had sex last night before he died. 644 00:40:13,700 --> 00:40:15,620 I see. 645 00:40:18,740 --> 00:40:20,620 I'm sorry. 646 00:40:20,620 --> 00:40:22,780 You and me both. 647 00:40:23,900 --> 00:40:25,740 But I still loved him. 648 00:40:26,860 --> 00:40:28,740 And admired him. 649 00:40:30,020 --> 00:40:34,500 He just had one big problem a constitutional inability to keep it in his trousers. 650 00:40:35,620 --> 00:40:37,700 That's why there were times when... 651 00:40:37,700 --> 00:40:39,700 When what? 652 00:40:42,780 --> 00:40:46,340 There were times when I would have happily killed the guy myself. 653 00:40:56,380 --> 00:40:58,500 Her exact words, 'kill the guy'. 654 00:40:58,500 --> 00:41:00,620 You think she put out a contract on him? 655 00:41:00,620 --> 00:41:02,500 All you need is a trained killer. 656 00:41:07,140 --> 00:41:09,340 I'm told you'd like a word. 657 00:41:09,340 --> 00:41:12,060 Thank you. Come in. Sit down, Lieutenant. 658 00:41:12,060 --> 00:41:14,180 I answer to Diane. Sorry. 659 00:41:14,180 --> 00:41:17,580 Diane. This is a really silly question. 660 00:41:17,580 --> 00:41:20,700 That's what this weekend's about, isn't it? Silly questions. 661 00:41:20,700 --> 00:41:24,260 We've had a whisper that Croft's killing might have been carried out 662 00:41:24,260 --> 00:41:28,740 on behalf of a jealous former lover, partner, wife, well, you take your pick. 663 00:41:28,740 --> 00:41:29,100 on behalf of a jealous former lover, partner, wife, well, you take your pick. 664 00:41:29,100 --> 00:41:31,740 What, a professional hit? We said it was silly. 665 00:41:32,780 --> 00:41:35,060 And we're not accusing the British Army, 666 00:41:35,060 --> 00:41:38,260 but your professional observations would be appreciated. 667 00:41:40,180 --> 00:41:44,140 We're just a couple of squaddies... taking a weekend off to prove to the world 668 00:41:44,140 --> 00:41:47,300 that even though we're soldiers we're not mindless zombies. 669 00:41:47,300 --> 00:41:49,860 Any day now we're off to keep the peace 670 00:41:49,860 --> 00:41:54,100 under the flag of the United Nations at some pimple on the arsehole of the universe. 671 00:41:54,100 --> 00:41:56,260 We're here to have fun. 672 00:41:56,260 --> 00:41:58,620 So far, fun's been a bit thin on the ground. 673 00:41:58,620 --> 00:42:00,980 And we have to check every possibility. 674 00:42:00,980 --> 00:42:05,740 Now you've ticked that box, you can file it under 'garbage' and move on. Are we through? 675 00:42:06,700 --> 00:42:09,780 Unless you had sex with Ethan Croft last night. 676 00:42:09,780 --> 00:42:12,420 What? It's a simple enough question. 677 00:42:12,420 --> 00:42:14,580 I imagine you'd remember if you had. 678 00:42:14,580 --> 00:42:17,060 I would remember and I definitely did not. 679 00:42:17,900 --> 00:42:19,380 Thank you. 680 00:42:26,300 --> 00:42:29,260 I think she'll be very good at keeping the peace. 681 00:42:29,260 --> 00:42:32,260 Same as her friend, the silent sergeant. 682 00:42:32,260 --> 00:42:34,460 Carrying out orders without question. 683 00:42:34,460 --> 00:42:36,500 Licensed to kill. 684 00:42:36,500 --> 00:42:38,540 It's what soldiers do. 685 00:42:38,540 --> 00:42:40,580 What, telling lies? 686 00:42:40,580 --> 00:42:42,460 Everyone tells lies. 687 00:42:43,420 --> 00:42:45,340 Especially about sex. 688 00:42:51,420 --> 00:42:53,620 Did you tell them? What is there to tell? 689 00:42:54,620 --> 00:42:57,380 It's my decision, Sergeant. My decision. 690 00:43:07,700 --> 00:43:10,260 I thought your team were brilliant earlier. 691 00:43:10,260 --> 00:43:12,420 We practise hard and we need the money. 692 00:43:12,420 --> 00:43:14,940 Are any of you aware of Ethan Croft's work 693 00:43:14,940 --> 00:43:17,860 as a translator and interpreter during his time at Oxford? 694 00:43:17,860 --> 00:43:19,860 I can't say that I am. Nor me. 695 00:43:19,860 --> 00:43:21,740 Yes. Can you elaborate? 696 00:43:21,740 --> 00:43:24,980 I vaguely remember a guy in college raving about him. 697 00:43:24,980 --> 00:43:28,380 How he'd done some highly original translations of Chekhov and Gorky. 698 00:43:28,380 --> 00:43:32,380 Decided they were both very funny writers. Hence his first, presumably. 699 00:43:32,380 --> 00:43:36,420 Yes. The Lower Depths, a laugh on every line. 700 00:43:36,420 --> 00:43:39,780 Mind you, I always did take more interest in my fellow students than you did. 701 00:43:39,780 --> 00:43:42,580 I was cursed with ambition. There's no cure. 702 00:43:42,580 --> 00:43:47,260 And we've had a hint that he might have done some very high-profile, highly-sensitive work. 703 00:43:47,260 --> 00:43:49,980 Which, by definition, would be highly confidential. 704 00:43:49,980 --> 00:43:52,860 And why would he tell any of us about it? 705 00:43:52,860 --> 00:43:54,660 I'm only a lawyer. What do lawyers know? 706 00:43:56,260 --> 00:44:00,420 Sorry to keep you waiting, guys. Just getting the questions in order. 707 00:44:00,420 --> 00:44:05,060 If you'd like to take your places, this is the next match in our Quizaholics Weekend 708 00:44:05,060 --> 00:44:08,660 between the Grey Guardians and the Red Hot Mamas. 709 00:44:08,660 --> 00:44:12,620 If the rest of you would like to sit down and play the part of the appreciative audience. 710 00:44:16,580 --> 00:44:18,660 Sorry, everyone. 711 00:44:18,660 --> 00:44:20,380 Call of nature. 712 00:44:21,780 --> 00:44:24,980 We do seem to be missing someone. Where is Eve? 713 00:44:26,220 --> 00:44:30,140 She said she was going to her room to swot up on Top 20 hits since 1955. 714 00:44:30,140 --> 00:44:32,660 Which probably guarantees she's fallen asleep. 715 00:44:32,660 --> 00:44:35,100 Would anyone like to wake her up? 716 00:44:35,100 --> 00:44:37,500 Would you like me to go? She's next door to me. 717 00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:40,660 Thank you, you're an angel. Just as I was getting excited. 718 00:44:50,380 --> 00:44:52,020 Eve. 719 00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:55,180 You're keeping everybody waiting. 720 00:44:55,180 --> 00:44:57,060 Eve. 721 00:44:58,180 --> 00:45:00,100 Eve? 722 00:45:01,780 --> 00:45:03,700 Oh! 723 00:45:21,700 --> 00:45:24,860 Nothing complicated. Been strangled. 724 00:45:24,860 --> 00:45:26,460 From behind. 725 00:45:26,460 --> 00:45:28,580 With? Bare hands. 726 00:45:28,580 --> 00:45:30,860 As for the timing... 727 00:45:30,860 --> 00:45:35,260 I know about the timing. She came up to her room at two and was discovered at four. 728 00:45:35,260 --> 00:45:37,540 She was doing her homework. 729 00:45:37,540 --> 00:45:41,340 We need to know exactly where everybody was between two and four. No more fudging. 730 00:45:41,340 --> 00:45:43,740 Shall I round them up? Yeah, with a whip. 731 00:45:43,740 --> 00:45:45,620 I'm getting sick of these people. 732 00:45:53,900 --> 00:45:55,820 Were you close to Eve? 733 00:45:56,940 --> 00:45:58,900 Well, um... 734 00:46:01,500 --> 00:46:03,420 Yes, I suppose I was. 735 00:46:05,100 --> 00:46:06,900 Babies do that to women. 736 00:46:10,460 --> 00:46:12,660 Until this weekend. 737 00:46:12,660 --> 00:46:14,540 What happened this weekend? Ethan Croft. 738 00:46:15,460 --> 00:46:17,660 He didn't really remember me. 739 00:46:17,660 --> 00:46:19,540 He pretended to, but... 740 00:46:20,700 --> 00:46:24,340 And then he just made a beeline for Eve, so I thought to hell with him. 741 00:46:24,340 --> 00:46:26,300 So they went to her room? His room? 742 00:46:26,300 --> 00:46:28,220 His room. 743 00:46:29,380 --> 00:46:32,380 I wouldn't care, but she has a husband. 744 00:46:32,380 --> 00:46:35,180 He's not much of one, but at least he's there some of the time. 745 00:46:36,220 --> 00:46:38,300 I don't have anyone. 746 00:46:38,300 --> 00:46:40,500 You have a child? 747 00:46:40,500 --> 00:46:43,780 I have a snotty two-year-old and a mad grandma. 748 00:46:48,100 --> 00:46:49,980 I think they might have had a row. 749 00:46:51,980 --> 00:46:54,980 I think I heard them arguing in the corridor outside my room. 750 00:46:56,100 --> 00:46:58,140 And then it just went quiet. 751 00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:01,820 I should have done something. 752 00:47:03,420 --> 00:47:05,740 She might still be alive. Were you jealous? 753 00:47:06,660 --> 00:47:08,620 Jealous? Why would I be jealous? 754 00:47:08,620 --> 00:47:12,180 You come to rekindle your first love and he goes off with your best friend? 755 00:47:12,180 --> 00:47:15,580 I might have been a bit miffed. You mean jealous enough to commit murder? 756 00:47:16,860 --> 00:47:18,820 I wasn't accusing you. 757 00:47:19,740 --> 00:47:21,740 God, I hate this place. 758 00:47:21,740 --> 00:47:23,940 I want to go home. 759 00:47:23,940 --> 00:47:26,100 To a snotty two-year-old and your mad grandma? 760 00:47:26,100 --> 00:47:27,620 Anything's better than this. 761 00:47:32,140 --> 00:47:35,500 Did you hear anything resembling a row on your landing? 762 00:47:35,500 --> 00:47:39,060 To be perfectly honest, I was somewhat preoccupied with my own problems. 763 00:47:39,060 --> 00:47:41,020 Personal or professional? 764 00:47:41,020 --> 00:47:43,140 Private maybe? 765 00:47:43,140 --> 00:47:45,020 Try me. 766 00:47:48,940 --> 00:47:53,140 Have you ever planned an idyllic, romantic get-away-from-it-all weekend, 767 00:47:53,140 --> 00:47:56,300 only to have it turn into a handful of dust? 768 00:47:57,660 --> 00:47:59,580 Now, that really is private. 769 00:48:03,820 --> 00:48:06,460 I'm going to ask you all to do something very simple. 770 00:48:08,300 --> 00:48:10,180 You all have a piece of paper. 771 00:48:11,180 --> 00:48:14,620 And I want you to write down, in precise and accurate detail, 772 00:48:14,620 --> 00:48:17,500 what you were doing between two and four this afternoon. 773 00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:19,500 Plus who you were with. 774 00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:22,500 And if we were alone? Then that's what you write down. 775 00:48:22,500 --> 00:48:27,340 And I should remind you, if what you write down turns out to be untrue, 776 00:48:27,340 --> 00:48:31,260 then you'll be guilty of wasting police time, of obstruction 777 00:48:31,260 --> 00:48:35,060 and all manner of new offences, which the government is probably planning 778 00:48:35,060 --> 00:48:38,820 to introduce at any moment as part of their ongoing fight against global terrorism. 779 00:48:41,420 --> 00:48:43,380 15 minutes. 780 00:48:55,300 --> 00:48:57,180 How's it going? 781 00:48:57,180 --> 00:48:59,820 What? The not smoking. 782 00:48:59,820 --> 00:49:03,060 It's a nightmare. I'd rather talk about my suspect. 783 00:49:03,060 --> 00:49:04,540 Robyn Strong? 784 00:49:04,540 --> 00:49:06,260 It's worth examining as an idea. 785 00:49:06,260 --> 00:49:07,820 Persuade me. 786 00:49:07,820 --> 00:49:12,460 She has a fantasy of a perfect man, based on the perfect boy she knew from school. 787 00:49:12,460 --> 00:49:16,340 And what happens? He doesn't remember her and he runs off with her so-called best friend. 788 00:49:16,340 --> 00:49:18,500 She'd have to be slightly deranged. 789 00:49:18,500 --> 00:49:21,260 One could argue that all murderers are slightly deranged. 790 00:49:21,260 --> 00:49:23,340 Especially in a crime of passion. 791 00:49:23,340 --> 00:49:25,500 I don't buy it. 792 00:49:25,500 --> 00:49:28,140 Better ideas? I'm keeping an open mind. 793 00:49:28,140 --> 00:49:30,260 Sounds like a no. 794 00:49:31,340 --> 00:49:33,420 You're good together, you know. 795 00:49:33,420 --> 00:49:35,180 Who? You and the doc. 796 00:49:36,140 --> 00:49:39,100 We were going to the opera together. That's all. 797 00:49:39,100 --> 00:49:41,340 We weren't planning to elope. 798 00:49:41,340 --> 00:49:43,860 I wouldn't even know the way to Gretna Green. 799 00:49:43,860 --> 00:49:46,980 You said you were overnighting. Where were you gonna stay? 800 00:49:48,140 --> 00:49:50,900 I booked the tickets. She booked the hotel. 801 00:49:50,900 --> 00:49:52,380 One room or two? 802 00:49:52,380 --> 00:49:54,860 Do us a favour, will you, and mind your own business. 803 00:49:55,980 --> 00:49:58,140 Go and find your guitar or something. 804 00:49:58,140 --> 00:50:00,700 (BELLS RING) 805 00:50:00,700 --> 00:50:03,420 They should be ready to hand in their homework by now. 806 00:50:06,820 --> 00:50:10,140 How are you planning to structure the rest of the weekend? 807 00:50:10,140 --> 00:50:13,540 Well, a lot of people want to go home. I assume you'd rather they didn't. 808 00:50:13,540 --> 00:50:15,180 You assume right. 809 00:50:15,180 --> 00:50:17,820 So I thought a quiet supper, 810 00:50:17,820 --> 00:50:20,900 followed by a quiz, just for amusement. 811 00:50:20,900 --> 00:50:22,900 Keep it very low-key. 812 00:50:22,900 --> 00:50:24,860 What about the £5,000? 813 00:50:25,860 --> 00:50:29,980 Well, the students are keen to carry on. They're already through to the final. 814 00:50:29,980 --> 00:50:34,620 Apart from that, I've had a number of withdrawals, but the Grey Guardians... 815 00:50:34,620 --> 00:50:34,780 Apart from that, I've had a number of withdrawals, but the Grey Guardians... 816 00:50:34,780 --> 00:50:37,940 The Oxford dons? They're happy to continue. 817 00:50:37,940 --> 00:50:43,380 So I thought a grand final, for the money, between those two teams, tomorrow afternoon. 818 00:50:43,380 --> 00:50:43,460 So I thought a grand final, for the money, between those two teams, tomorrow afternoon. 819 00:50:43,460 --> 00:50:45,460 And then people can go. 820 00:50:46,500 --> 00:50:48,700 If you've finished with them by then. 821 00:50:48,700 --> 00:50:52,540 I sincerely hope I'll be finished with them by then. With one obvious exception. 822 00:50:52,540 --> 00:50:54,860 All done? 823 00:50:54,860 --> 00:50:59,260 All done. I half expected one or two of them to be in Latin, but we're fine. 824 00:51:06,180 --> 00:51:09,820 Robyn Strong was in her room brushing up on the quiz questions. 825 00:51:09,820 --> 00:51:12,780 The lawyers and dons were in the college library. 826 00:51:12,780 --> 00:51:17,260 Ava Taylor, the students and the soldiers were drinking coffee in the cafeteria 827 00:51:17,260 --> 00:51:20,300 where they were later joined by the lawyers and the dons. 828 00:51:20,300 --> 00:51:23,260 Richards? In the dining hall, getting ready for the quiz. 829 00:51:24,260 --> 00:51:28,540 Right. So now all we have to do is find out which of them is telling lies. 830 00:51:30,700 --> 00:51:32,900 For amusement only... 831 00:51:32,900 --> 00:51:36,980 what connects an island in Scotland with the Olympic Games? 832 00:51:36,980 --> 00:51:38,420 (BELL) 833 00:51:38,420 --> 00:51:40,620 Hoy. The connection? 834 00:51:40,620 --> 00:51:44,580 The island of Hoy is in the Orkneys. And Chris Hoy won three gold medals in the cycling. 835 00:51:45,700 --> 00:51:50,100 Next, what links Isambard Kingdom Brunel with a former Lancashire wicket-keeper? 836 00:51:50,100 --> 00:51:51,460 Next, what links Isambard Kingdom Brunel with a former Lancashire wicket-keeper? 837 00:51:51,460 --> 00:51:53,300 Too easy. 838 00:51:53,300 --> 00:51:55,100 Speak for yourself. 839 00:51:55,100 --> 00:51:59,900 Brunel was an engineer. Farouk Engineer kept wicket for Lancashire. 840 00:51:59,900 --> 00:52:03,700 The answer, therefore, is 'engineer'. Takes one to know one. 841 00:52:03,700 --> 00:52:06,820 Oh, for God's sake, who gives a damn about any of this? 842 00:52:08,180 --> 00:52:11,700 I suspect the honest answer is...nobody. 843 00:52:11,700 --> 00:52:14,300 In fairness, Mr Richards is doing a praiseworthy job 844 00:52:14,300 --> 00:52:17,820 in trying to keep up our spirits in an impossible situation. 845 00:52:17,820 --> 00:52:20,180 You'd have done well at Dunkirk. 846 00:52:20,180 --> 00:52:22,820 Well, I've had enough of these silly questions. 847 00:52:22,820 --> 00:52:26,380 There's only one question that matters here and no-one knows the answer to that one! 848 00:52:29,260 --> 00:52:32,460 Somebody knows the answer to that one. 849 00:52:32,460 --> 00:52:35,460 Methinks the lady doth protest too much. 850 00:53:07,740 --> 00:53:09,700 Is it all right if I... 851 00:53:09,700 --> 00:53:11,820 Feel free. I'm past caring. 852 00:53:22,740 --> 00:53:24,780 The thing is... 853 00:53:24,780 --> 00:53:26,660 you've lost your partner. 854 00:53:27,820 --> 00:53:30,020 I haven't really got one. Poor old you. 855 00:53:31,220 --> 00:53:35,380 No. I mean I can do the sales pitch and the flash talk, but... 856 00:53:36,500 --> 00:53:38,580 ..really I'm like you, 857 00:53:38,580 --> 00:53:41,100 just lost in a strange land. 858 00:53:43,780 --> 00:53:46,660 I just wondered whether it would help you... 859 00:53:47,780 --> 00:53:50,380 ..if we were lost together? 860 00:53:54,940 --> 00:53:57,060 No ulterior motive. 861 00:53:58,020 --> 00:54:00,460 I'm just suggesting we become kind of... 862 00:54:01,540 --> 00:54:03,460 ..temporary friends. 863 00:54:05,020 --> 00:54:07,140 Till we can get the hell out of this place. 864 00:54:11,100 --> 00:54:13,020 A temporary friend? 865 00:54:18,060 --> 00:54:19,460 Are you single? 866 00:54:22,300 --> 00:54:24,380 I live on my own... 867 00:54:24,380 --> 00:54:26,260 with some tropical fish. 868 00:54:27,380 --> 00:54:30,140 And all of Bob Dylan's albums. 869 00:54:31,260 --> 00:54:33,180 Probably extremely sad. 870 00:54:35,820 --> 00:54:38,620 But I can give you my word I'm not a murderer. 871 00:54:40,540 --> 00:54:42,460 How do you know I'm not? 872 00:54:43,580 --> 00:54:45,780 Sorry? 873 00:54:45,780 --> 00:54:48,980 It's all very well us being special friends, 874 00:54:48,980 --> 00:54:52,500 but one of us is a murderer, whichever way you look at it. 875 00:54:55,380 --> 00:54:57,940 Not a woman? I wouldn't be the first. 876 00:54:59,980 --> 00:55:01,820 Nah, it's ridiculous. Is it? 877 00:55:04,780 --> 00:55:06,660 I suppose it is. 878 00:55:08,020 --> 00:55:09,900 Who knows? 879 00:55:11,260 --> 00:55:13,180 (TICKING) 880 00:55:40,380 --> 00:55:44,460 So, this is where...Ethan did all his work. 881 00:55:46,540 --> 00:55:48,740 All right if we have a browse? 882 00:55:48,740 --> 00:55:52,740 Of course. Help yourself. I'll...leave you to it. 883 00:55:58,060 --> 00:56:02,780 So, Mr Ethan Croft, where did you hide the secrets that could put people in prison? 884 00:56:02,780 --> 00:56:04,540 So, Mr Ethan Croft, where did you hide the secrets that could put people in prison? 885 00:56:04,540 --> 00:56:09,260 And what sort of secrets were they? Old-fashioned blackmail stuff? 886 00:56:09,260 --> 00:56:09,620 And what sort of secrets were they? Old-fashioned blackmail stuff? 887 00:56:09,620 --> 00:56:11,340 Laptop? 888 00:56:11,340 --> 00:56:14,900 That's your department. I'll do the paperwork. 889 00:56:14,900 --> 00:56:17,500 This could take days. Which we do not have. 890 00:56:20,620 --> 00:56:22,780 Ah. Problem? 891 00:56:22,780 --> 00:56:24,700 I don't speak Russian. Do you? 892 00:56:26,060 --> 00:56:28,180 I'm only just in control of English. 893 00:56:28,180 --> 00:56:30,940 It's an impressive form of security. 894 00:56:30,940 --> 00:56:33,220 A lot of these are in Russian, too. 895 00:56:34,460 --> 00:56:36,980 Ah. This is better. English? 896 00:56:36,980 --> 00:56:41,020 Yeah. And there seems to be a system in amongst all the mess. 897 00:56:42,860 --> 00:56:47,580 Files marked Personal, Business, School, Trades Union and Highly Personal. 898 00:56:47,580 --> 00:56:50,020 Files marked Personal, Business, School, Trades Union and Highly Personal. 899 00:56:50,020 --> 00:56:51,900 Oh, promising. 900 00:56:54,260 --> 00:56:58,020 Unfortunately...none marked Top Secret. 901 00:56:59,180 --> 00:57:02,420 You know what, we're gonna have to take all this stuff away 902 00:57:02,420 --> 00:57:05,580 and just resign ourselves to getting very little sleep tonight. 903 00:57:05,580 --> 00:57:08,140 Sleep's over-rated, especially on a Saturday. 904 00:57:08,140 --> 00:57:10,020 Do you have to be so young? 905 00:57:12,980 --> 00:57:15,060 Thanks, Mrs Croft. You're welcome. 906 00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:29,880 Are you aware of the hourly rate a Russian translator will charge at the weekend? 907 00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,320 I'm no expert, but I think there's Polish, as well. 908 00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:36,160 What makes you think the murders are connected with his work as a translator? 909 00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:39,520 That's one of three possibilities. The others being? 910 00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:43,680 I fancy a crime of passion. There's enough sexual energy there to power the national grid. 911 00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:47,040 Or it could be related to the quiz weekend itself. 912 00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:51,360 Our genial host Marcus Richards seems to me like a fully-paid-up con artist. 913 00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:54,320 So it's one chance in three that it's all to do with the Russians? 914 00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:56,520 As things stand. 915 00:57:56,520 --> 00:57:59,760 We'll find you a translator. Here's a thing. 916 00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:03,320 What? Initial medical report on Eve Rigby. 917 00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:05,560 She hadn't had sex recently. 918 00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:07,480 (DOOR CLOSES) 919 00:58:12,680 --> 00:58:16,440 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Secret? Wow. 920 00:58:16,440 --> 00:58:20,360 According to our medical records, Ethan Croft had sex with somebody before he died. 921 00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:22,720 Sounds like a nice way to go. 922 00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:27,120 But again, according to our medical records, Eve Rigby hadn't had sex with anyone, 923 00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:27,320 But again, according to our medical records, Eve Rigby hadn't had sex with anyone, 924 00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:31,720 so it leaves us with the question, who did he have sex with? 925 00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:36,600 How should I know? 926 00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:38,880 Well, I could ask the obvious question. 927 00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:41,320 Maybe I should ask the obvious question? Me? 928 00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:49,400 I find that whole idea hysterically funny, that's how far we've travelled. 929 00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:12,520 Any joy, enlightenment, jokes? 930 00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:14,480 Is this Ethan Croft's work? 931 00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:16,160 Yeah. How did you know? 932 00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:18,040 We studied together. 933 00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:21,360 There are translations here... 934 00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:23,600 They've got his fingerprints all over them. 935 00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:27,040 He was brilliant. 936 00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:30,080 But people have probably told you that. They have. 937 00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:33,280 But this stuff, it's either literary, 938 00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:37,720 translations of Chekhov and Tolstoy all the standard authors 939 00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:41,680 and some technical material that's honestly beyond me. 940 00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:45,840 It was a terrible waste of talent, you know. 941 00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:48,000 How do you mean? 942 00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:52,280 Well, doing radical versions of great authors, that's one thing. 943 00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:56,640 Acting as an interpreter for footballers and businessmen, that's hack work by comparison. 944 00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:58,600 That's what I do. 945 01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:05,560 If you knew Ethan Croft in his Oxford days, were you aware of this sexual harassment business? 946 01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:06,360 If you knew Ethan Croft in his Oxford days, were you aware of this sexual harassment business? 947 01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:09,760 Only as a rumour. One moment he was there and suddenly he was gone. 948 01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:12,000 Accompanied by a lot of whispering behind hands. 949 01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:17,080 How about old-fashioned paper? 950 01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:19,240 A lot of trade union minutes. 951 01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,480 Utterly fascinating. I'll bet. 952 01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:24,320 He was a very angry and frustrated man. 953 01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:26,840 Looking in his diary, it's mainly appointments, 954 01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:29,560 but every so often he pops in a comment on the news. 955 01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:34,000 He hates the government, he hates bankers and he hates the City of London. 956 01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:34,280 He hates the government, he hates bankers and he hates the City of London. 957 01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:36,280 Not a bad judge. 958 01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:39,360 I've found budgets here for some project or other. 959 01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:43,800 Could be engineering. All seems honest and above board. 960 01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:44,080 Could be engineering. All seems honest and above board. 961 01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:45,760 Pity. 962 01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:48,880 Breath of fresh air? As long as I can contaminate it with nicotine. 963 01:00:55,400 --> 01:00:57,400 Everybody tucked up safely? 964 01:00:57,400 --> 01:01:00,840 As far as I know. I can't check them all personally. 965 01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:03,720 But I've never lost anybody until this weekend. 966 01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:06,880 Do you remember Ethan Croft when he was a student here? 967 01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:10,680 I certainly do. Piss artist and sex maniac. 968 01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:12,840 Which is saying something, bearing in mind... 969 01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,760 ..he's a student and they're all that way inclined. 970 01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:20,720 Were you familiar with him as a junior lecturer? When they ran him out of town? 971 01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:23,480 That bad, was it? Well, no, it was all very gentlemanly, 972 01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:25,200 this being Oxford. 973 01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:27,840 Other places he'd have been tarred and feathered. 974 01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:29,800 Do you remember the name of the girl? 975 01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:33,360 I can't remember what she was called then. I know what she's called now. 976 01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:37,280 Mrs Milner. Can't remember her first name. Married to Professor Milner, the engineer? 977 01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:39,680 Yes. Why didn't you tell us this earlier? 978 01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:41,600 No bugger asked me. 979 01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:50,280 You didn't tell us your wife was the young woman 980 01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:52,400 who accused Ethan Croft of sexual harassment. 981 01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:54,720 A sin of omission. I apologise. 982 01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:56,560 Why didn't you tell us? 983 01:01:57,920 --> 01:02:01,440 It was a very painful episode for her. Traumatic. 984 01:02:01,440 --> 01:02:05,880 The scars took a long time to heal and I...I didn't want her dragged into all of this. 985 01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:06,160 The scars took a long time to heal and I...I didn't want her dragged into all of this. 986 01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:08,360 It didn't seem relevant. 987 01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:11,400 That implies you know what is relevant. Not at all. 988 01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:13,560 I'm simply a very protective husband. 989 01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:15,760 Now, permission to return to my breakfast? 990 01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:18,920 As long as you promise not to run away. 991 01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:20,840 Where would I run to? 992 01:02:22,200 --> 01:02:24,360 Mr Lewis. Good morning. 993 01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:27,680 We'd like to leave at lunchtime. Sorry. That won't be possible. 994 01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:29,800 We're under orders. We fly out tomorrow. 995 01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:31,440 To? I'm not allowed to say. 996 01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:33,640 But I believe there's a lot of sand. 997 01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:36,400 Peace-keeping? The smart money says so. 998 01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:39,960 As far as I'm concerned, you can leave the minute we've made an arrest. 999 01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:44,120 I can talk to your commanding officer. No need. I'll refer him directly to you. 1000 01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:49,200 By the way, the smart money still says that Mr Richards is your man. 1001 01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:53,200 He's rescheduled the quiz for two o'clock. That says to me he's looking for a quick exit. 1002 01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:54,960 Aren't we all? 1003 01:02:55,920 --> 01:02:57,400 Aye. 1004 01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:09,920 Thanks. 1005 01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:13,200 (PHONE RINGS) 1006 01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:15,080 All right, pet? Did you find anything? 1007 01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,920 Ah, that's brilliant. 1008 01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:22,280 No, no, hang on, hang on. 1009 01:03:22,280 --> 01:03:24,160 I'm gonna have to write this down. 1010 01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:28,360 Yeah. OK. 1011 01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:31,520 Nice and slow. 1012 01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:39,680 I've got news for you. Oh, good. I enjoy news. 1013 01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:44,320 Look. '1948 Gibson L-5 PE guitar with a honey blonde finish and a Charlie Christian pickup.' 1014 01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:47,000 Look. '1948 Gibson L-5 PE guitar with a honey blonde finish and a Charlie Christian pickup.' 1015 01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:49,000 Any resemblance to yours? 1016 01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:51,200 How did you do this? You don't do computers. 1017 01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:54,160 I phoned my daughter. She told me where to look, how to do it. 1018 01:03:54,160 --> 01:03:56,520 It's amazing. Is it yours? 1019 01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:57,720 Yeah. 1020 01:03:57,720 --> 01:03:59,800 And is it really worth £3,000? 1021 01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:01,800 Her price is beyond rubies. 1022 01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:03,880 I'll take that as a yes, then. 1023 01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:06,720 Oh, show time! 1024 01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:09,840 We still don't know who Croft had sex with before he died. 1025 01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:12,120 We could ask them all. 1026 01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:16,320 The only thing I know for sure is nobody tells the truth about their sex life. 1027 01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:18,840 That's very good. I'll try and remember that. 1028 01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:23,440 Welcome to the Quizaholics Grand Final. 1029 01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:28,080 Within the next half hour, one of these two teams will walk away with £5,000. 1030 01:04:28,080 --> 01:04:28,600 Within the next half hour, one of these two teams will walk away with £5,000. 1031 01:04:28,600 --> 01:04:32,720 To make things more difficult for them and with the help of my magic laptop, 1032 01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:36,360 they will have to do so under simulated television studio conditions. 1033 01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:38,800 (JAUNTY PROGRAMME INTRO) 1034 01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:45,600 Grey Guardians, are you ready? 1035 01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:48,480 I've been ready for 50 years. Toxic Debt? 1036 01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:51,080 Raring to go. Good luck to both teams. 1037 01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:54,680 And we'll start with a round that I call Very Loose Connections. 1038 01:04:54,680 --> 01:04:57,440 What links the following? 1039 01:04:57,440 --> 01:04:59,440 Ages and Wisdom. 1040 01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:03,520 The number seven. Would you care to explain? 1041 01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:06,480 Shakespeare wrote the famous Seven Ages of Man speech 1042 01:05:06,480 --> 01:05:09,040 and TE Lawrence wrote the Seven Pillars of Wisdom. 1043 01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:11,320 That's correct. 1044 01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:14,800 Ah. You'll enjoy this one. 1045 01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:17,240 What links Lawrence...and Lawrence? 1046 01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:20,160 Yes? The answer is Shaw. 1047 01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:23,160 Why is the answer Shaw? TE Lawrence was also known as Shaw. 1048 01:05:23,160 --> 01:05:26,480 And George Bernard Shaw lived in a place called Ayot St Lawrence. 1049 01:05:26,480 --> 01:05:27,840 Correct. 1050 01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:30,680 This is ridiculous. I didn't think students read books any more. 1051 01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:33,160 Don't ask me. I'm only a policeman. 1052 01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:36,080 What links Shaw with a park in New York? 1053 01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,440 At last. One for the oldies. 1054 01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:43,120 Is that your answer? No. The answer is Artie Shaw. 1055 01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:45,600 The great American jazz clarinettist, 1056 01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:50,040 who led a band called the Gramercy Five, named after Gramercy Park in New York. 1057 01:05:50,040 --> 01:05:53,880 The band was also notable for having a harpsichord instead of the more usual piano. 1058 01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:55,880 Do I get a bonus point for that? 1059 01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:59,960 I'm afraid not, but everybody in the room is deeply impressed, I'm sure. 1060 01:06:03,640 --> 01:06:06,240 Yes, I'll meet the price. Yeah, cash. 1061 01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:09,280 My name? 1062 01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:11,880 Lewis. 1063 01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:15,800 With the teams dead level, it's down to the sudden death question. 1064 01:06:15,800 --> 01:06:19,800 And you will be delighted to know that the subject is modern architecture. 1065 01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:22,400 My favourite. I thought it might be. 1066 01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:27,240 Which means the £5,000 first prize hangs on who is first to answer. 1067 01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:28,120 Which means the £5,000 first prize hangs on who is first to answer. 1068 01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:32,200 Who designed...the Guggenheim... 1069 01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:35,760 Grey Guardians? Frank Gehry. 1070 01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:38,760 Frank Gehry? 1071 01:06:38,760 --> 01:06:40,600 That answer is... 1072 01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:50,400 ..incorrect. 1073 01:06:52,280 --> 01:06:56,760 For heaven's sake, man, I've been to the Guggenheim. It's in Bilbao. 1074 01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:57,080 For heaven's sake, man, I've been to the Guggenheim. It's in Bilbao. 1075 01:06:57,080 --> 01:07:01,040 I will read the question in full. Who designed the Guggenheim Museum... 1076 01:07:01,040 --> 01:07:03,400 in New York? 1077 01:07:03,400 --> 01:07:05,600 Frank Lloyd Wright. That answer is correct! 1078 01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:08,600 Toxic Debt, you win £5,000! 1079 01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:15,520 Come forward, Toxic Debt. 1080 01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:18,120 Brilliant. Yup, yup. 1081 01:07:19,120 --> 01:07:21,280 Congratulations, Toxic Debt. Well done. 1082 01:07:25,880 --> 01:07:29,360 But now, before we all pack our bags and head for home, 1083 01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:34,000 I should just say a word about the tragic events that have taken place this weekend. 1084 01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:34,520 I should just say a word about the tragic events that have taken place this weekend. 1085 01:07:34,520 --> 01:07:39,480 I think you've all behaved brilliantly in the most difficult of circumstances. 1086 01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:39,560 I think you've all behaved brilliantly in the most difficult of circumstances. 1087 01:07:39,560 --> 01:07:41,480 How low will this man sink? 1088 01:07:41,480 --> 01:07:43,680 That's a very good question. 1089 01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:45,920 Mr Richards. Marcus. 1090 01:07:45,920 --> 01:07:49,160 I'd like you to come to the police station and answer a few questions. 1091 01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:51,560 Sudden death questions? 1092 01:07:51,560 --> 01:07:53,160 We don't know yet. May I? 1093 01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:08,960 Is the cheque in the post? 1094 01:08:11,360 --> 01:08:12,560 I can explain. 1095 01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:14,600 I'm sure you will. 1096 01:08:21,440 --> 01:08:23,520 Does this mean the rest of us can leave? 1097 01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:25,360 Not yet. Maybe after tea. 1098 01:08:25,360 --> 01:08:27,120 How very English. 1099 01:08:31,780 --> 01:08:34,740 Are we in trouble? Not as much as some other people. 1100 01:08:34,740 --> 01:08:36,740 Would you like a biscuit? 1101 01:08:36,740 --> 01:08:38,820 Looks like we were right all along. 1102 01:08:38,820 --> 01:08:40,580 Naturally. 1103 01:08:40,580 --> 01:08:44,260 But I still think you should own up. What difference would it make? 1104 01:08:44,260 --> 01:08:47,860 You tell the truth, it means I don't have to tell lies or withhold evidence. 1105 01:08:51,140 --> 01:08:56,420 You see, if I was expecting a cheque for £5,000, this would be deeply disappointing. 1106 01:08:56,420 --> 01:08:56,860 You see, if I was expecting a cheque for £5,000, this would be deeply disappointing. 1107 01:08:56,860 --> 01:08:58,740 Mea culpa. It's a scam, isn't it? 1108 01:08:58,740 --> 01:09:00,180 A modest one. 1109 01:09:00,180 --> 01:09:03,180 You pay students a few quid and tell them the answers in advance? 1110 01:09:03,180 --> 01:09:06,420 They need the money more than the old farts. Call it a social service. 1111 01:09:06,420 --> 01:09:09,620 How much do you pay them? Couple of hundred each, cash. 1112 01:09:09,620 --> 01:09:12,900 They get free board and lodging. From their point of view, a very good deal. 1113 01:09:12,900 --> 01:09:15,380 And from my point of view, it's illegal. 1114 01:09:15,380 --> 01:09:17,500 Well, slightly. I mean, nobody gets hurt. 1115 01:09:17,500 --> 01:09:19,180 Two people have been murdered! 1116 01:09:19,180 --> 01:09:21,380 That's nothing to do with me. 1117 01:09:21,380 --> 01:09:23,540 Pardon the expression, but that's what they all say. 1118 01:09:25,260 --> 01:09:28,180 OK. Two-bit conman. 1119 01:09:28,180 --> 01:09:30,380 Guilty as charged. 1120 01:09:30,380 --> 01:09:32,820 To save you checking, I've pulled the same stroke 1121 01:09:32,820 --> 01:09:35,060 at regular intervals over the last few years. 1122 01:09:35,060 --> 01:09:38,060 On a good weekend, I might clear a couple of grand. 1123 01:09:38,060 --> 01:09:41,860 I'm never going to get rich and, as a matter of fact, it's very hard work. 1124 01:09:43,620 --> 01:09:45,980 I do not kill people, Mr Lewis. 1125 01:09:45,980 --> 01:09:48,180 Even when they realise what you're up to? 1126 01:09:48,180 --> 01:09:50,340 I don't kill them. 1127 01:09:50,340 --> 01:09:53,540 I give them money. I've done it before. 1128 01:09:53,540 --> 01:09:57,380 It's one thing I've learned. You can buy people's silence. 1129 01:09:57,380 --> 01:09:59,100 It's amazingly cheap. (KNOCKING) 1130 01:09:59,100 --> 01:09:59,780 Yeah. 1131 01:10:00,700 --> 01:10:02,220 Sir, can I have a word? 1132 01:10:06,420 --> 01:10:10,180 Lieutenant Baxter called. She wants to speak to one of us. It sounded urgent. 1133 01:10:10,180 --> 01:10:12,740 I knew she was holding out on us. We don't know for certain. 1134 01:10:12,740 --> 01:10:14,820 Trust me. 1135 01:10:14,820 --> 01:10:17,020 What about Richards? 1136 01:10:17,020 --> 01:10:20,660 Says he's not the murdering kind. I tend to agree. Too spineless. 1137 01:10:20,660 --> 01:10:23,780 But it won't do any harm for the rest to think the case is closed. 1138 01:10:23,780 --> 01:10:26,540 A false sense of security? Can't do any harm. 1139 01:10:28,140 --> 01:10:30,300 Go talk to the army. I'll follow you later. 1140 01:10:33,940 --> 01:10:36,140 Saturday night, when Croft was murdered... 1141 01:10:37,780 --> 01:10:39,860 ..I had sex with him. 1142 01:10:39,860 --> 01:10:42,060 And I hit him. 1143 01:10:42,060 --> 01:10:43,980 In that order? Yes. 1144 01:10:43,980 --> 01:10:45,540 Can you be more specific? 1145 01:10:46,500 --> 01:10:49,740 I was on my way to bed and I almost collided with him and Eve Rigby. 1146 01:10:49,740 --> 01:10:53,820 They were having a row. She went off to her room and I started talking to him. 1147 01:10:53,820 --> 01:10:56,740 Or, to be more precise, listening to him. 1148 01:10:57,820 --> 01:10:59,740 He was an interesting guy and... 1149 01:11:00,860 --> 01:11:04,140 ..well, I fancied him. So...bingo. 1150 01:11:04,140 --> 01:11:05,820 This was his room? Yes. 1151 01:11:05,820 --> 01:11:08,020 Why did you hit him? 1152 01:11:08,020 --> 01:11:11,980 His wife telephoned at, you might say, a crucial moment. 1153 01:11:11,980 --> 01:11:16,180 I didn't know he had a wife. So I gave him a swift backhander. 1154 01:11:16,180 --> 01:11:19,460 That's how I got the bruises on my hand. Your guvnor spotted them. 1155 01:11:19,460 --> 01:11:21,500 He's very good. Mm. 1156 01:11:21,500 --> 01:11:24,380 So you whacked him. And then what happened? 1157 01:11:24,380 --> 01:11:27,380 I went to my room. And Croft said he needed another drink. 1158 01:11:27,380 --> 01:11:29,260 I don't blame him. He went to the bar? 1159 01:11:29,260 --> 01:11:32,260 His exact words were, 'I'm gonna make those bastards squirm.' 1160 01:11:33,180 --> 01:11:35,380 Any bastards in particular? 1161 01:11:35,380 --> 01:11:39,300 The Oxford variety. He had serious hang-ups about Oxford. 1162 01:11:39,300 --> 01:11:41,260 And he kept going on about Helsinki. 1163 01:11:41,260 --> 01:11:43,180 Helsinki? 1164 01:11:44,260 --> 01:11:46,380 It's the capital of Finland. 1165 01:11:46,380 --> 01:11:48,420 Thanks, I know where Helsinki is. 1166 01:11:50,260 --> 01:11:53,100 Helsinki? Can you check that? 1167 01:11:53,100 --> 01:11:55,140 No need. I know exactly what that's about. 1168 01:11:56,820 --> 01:12:00,940 It's an engineering research laboratory. And the Professor of Engineering is? 1169 01:12:00,940 --> 01:12:04,820 Charles Milner, eminent quiz competitor. But who paid for it? 1170 01:12:04,820 --> 01:12:07,020 You and me, the taxpayers? 1171 01:12:07,020 --> 01:12:09,260 Not exactly. According to the website, 1172 01:12:09,260 --> 01:12:13,180 it's a unique collaboration between the British government, the Russian government 1173 01:12:13,180 --> 01:12:16,740 and major industrial interests of both countries, back in the '90s. 1174 01:12:16,740 --> 01:12:19,940 This is when the Russians were learning to be capitalists. 1175 01:12:19,940 --> 01:12:22,460 And before they started taking over our football teams? 1176 01:12:23,620 --> 01:12:26,900 Ethan Croft was an interpreter during the negotiations, 1177 01:12:26,900 --> 01:12:29,300 some of which were held in Helsinki. 1178 01:12:29,300 --> 01:12:33,380 If he got to know some of these guys and I'm not saying they're all gangsters or Mafia types, 1179 01:12:33,380 --> 01:12:36,100 but if he did and had access to valuable information... 1180 01:12:36,100 --> 01:12:38,020 Industrial espionage? 1181 01:12:38,020 --> 01:12:40,500 There are hints here and there of defence contracts. 1182 01:12:40,500 --> 01:12:43,540 A freelance spy? Explains why he was kicked out of Oxford. 1183 01:12:43,540 --> 01:12:47,060 Everyone knows Oxford and Cambridge are chock full of spies and traitors. 1184 01:12:47,060 --> 01:12:50,220 That's just stereotypical thinking. Which, of course, you share. 1185 01:12:50,220 --> 01:12:51,940 Some of the time. 1186 01:12:51,940 --> 01:12:54,340 Who's gonna suspect a primary school teacher 1187 01:12:54,340 --> 01:12:57,020 of selling our secrets to the Russians or vice versa? 1188 01:12:57,020 --> 01:12:58,660 So who killed him? 1189 01:13:02,460 --> 01:13:04,700 How long is this likely to go on? 1190 01:13:04,700 --> 01:13:08,140 As long as the proverbial piece of string, I should imagine. 1191 01:13:08,140 --> 01:13:10,980 I was assuming our genial quiz master must be the... 1192 01:13:10,980 --> 01:13:12,980 Guilty party? 1193 01:13:12,980 --> 01:13:15,540 One hesitates to accuse the man directly. 1194 01:13:15,540 --> 01:13:18,860 Did you get any sense of what was going on when you talked to the sergeant? 1195 01:13:18,860 --> 01:13:20,380 Nothing at all. 1196 01:13:20,380 --> 01:13:22,500 Perhaps we should just drink our tea. 1197 01:13:22,500 --> 01:13:24,420 How very English. So you keep saying. 1198 01:13:24,420 --> 01:13:26,500 And very tedious it is, too. 1199 01:13:26,500 --> 01:13:28,340 Sorry. 1200 01:13:28,340 --> 01:13:31,940 Just to let everybody know, I've been released without a stain on my character. 1201 01:13:31,940 --> 01:13:33,140 Professor Milner. 1202 01:13:36,580 --> 01:13:39,140 I'm talking about a couple of dons and some lawyers 1203 01:13:39,140 --> 01:13:42,580 who were in the library yesterday afternoon. I was here. I saw them. 1204 01:13:42,580 --> 01:13:44,980 It's a silly question, but what did they do? 1205 01:13:44,980 --> 01:13:47,340 Browsed. Usual thing with guys like that. 1206 01:13:47,340 --> 01:13:50,420 They check their books are on the shelves in the right places. 1207 01:13:50,420 --> 01:13:54,060 They look in Who's Who to make sure their entries have been properly updated. 1208 01:13:54,060 --> 01:13:56,300 That's about it. 1209 01:13:56,300 --> 01:13:58,940 Well, it is Oxford. Did you know any of them? 1210 01:13:58,940 --> 01:14:02,460 Sorry. I hate to be stereotypical, but they all look alike to me. 1211 01:14:02,460 --> 01:14:04,340 And Who's Who is...? 1212 01:14:11,580 --> 01:14:13,500 Thank you. 1213 01:14:24,900 --> 01:14:28,220 We had a look at your new building. It's very impressive. 1214 01:14:28,220 --> 01:14:31,300 It's not all that new. It's been open almost ten years. 1215 01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:34,820 We think it's unique. A millennium project that actually works. 1216 01:14:34,820 --> 01:14:39,820 And Ethan Croft was translator and interpreter in Helsinki during the financial negotiations. 1217 01:14:39,820 --> 01:14:40,100 And Ethan Croft was translator and interpreter in Helsinki during the financial negotiations. 1218 01:14:40,100 --> 01:14:42,380 I believe so. 1219 01:14:42,380 --> 01:14:45,140 So you must have worked with him quite closely at the time? 1220 01:14:45,140 --> 01:14:47,660 Not at all. I was one of a team. 1221 01:14:47,660 --> 01:14:50,460 The Russians were there in equally large numbers. 1222 01:14:50,460 --> 01:14:53,460 We were in a big room full of people 1223 01:14:53,460 --> 01:14:57,820 with Croft sitting in a corner doing simultaneous translations into our headphones. 1224 01:14:57,820 --> 01:15:00,900 It's...it's an invaluable skill, 1225 01:15:00,900 --> 01:15:03,340 but it doesn't form the basis for a lasting friendship. 1226 01:15:03,340 --> 01:15:05,220 And he wasn't the only one. 1227 01:15:05,220 --> 01:15:07,580 There were other interpreters? 1228 01:15:07,580 --> 01:15:10,260 Croft left hurriedly under a cloud. He had to be replaced. 1229 01:15:10,260 --> 01:15:12,580 The affair with your wife. 1230 01:15:12,580 --> 01:15:14,860 Quite so. Though... 1231 01:15:15,740 --> 01:15:17,700 ..she wasn't my wife at the time. 1232 01:15:18,620 --> 01:15:20,500 We'll need to talk to your wife. 1233 01:15:21,420 --> 01:15:22,940 I'd rather you didn't. 1234 01:15:24,140 --> 01:15:28,380 As I said, it was a traumatic experience for her. 1235 01:15:28,380 --> 01:15:29,500 Will she be at home? 1236 01:15:31,700 --> 01:15:34,500 She'll be at church. She plays the organ. 1237 01:15:36,060 --> 01:15:37,940 (ORGAN PLAYS) 1238 01:15:49,020 --> 01:15:50,980 Mrs Milner? 1239 01:15:52,820 --> 01:15:57,500 We're told that you had an affair with Ethan Croft which led to him losing his job here in Oxford. 1240 01:15:57,500 --> 01:15:58,540 We're told that you had an affair with Ethan Croft which led to him losing his job here in Oxford. 1241 01:15:58,540 --> 01:16:00,700 Well, it's sort of true. 1242 01:16:00,700 --> 01:16:03,420 'Sort of true' doesn't mean much in law, Mrs Milner. 1243 01:16:03,420 --> 01:16:05,900 Well, it's true we had an affair. 1244 01:16:05,900 --> 01:16:09,340 But it wasn't a case of a junior lecturer seducing a first-year student. 1245 01:16:09,340 --> 01:16:12,300 That part of it was sort of 50-50. 1246 01:16:12,300 --> 01:16:14,340 So how did he lose his job? 1247 01:16:14,340 --> 01:16:18,100 I was asked to sign a simple statement admitting to the affair. So I did. 1248 01:16:18,100 --> 01:16:20,380 It was true, so there seemed no harm in it. 1249 01:16:20,380 --> 01:16:22,700 Who asked you to sign it? The head of my college. 1250 01:16:22,700 --> 01:16:24,460 And if you hadn't signed? 1251 01:16:24,460 --> 01:16:28,460 It was made very clear that it would have a serious effect on my degree. 1252 01:16:28,460 --> 01:16:30,300 What sort of degree did you get? 1253 01:16:30,300 --> 01:16:32,540 A first. 1254 01:16:33,820 --> 01:16:38,980 Look, I know it sounds like I took the pieces of silver, but I didn't tell any lies. 1255 01:16:38,980 --> 01:16:41,260 I simply signed a short factual statement. 1256 01:16:41,260 --> 01:16:42,660 Why did they want rid of Ethan? 1257 01:16:43,860 --> 01:16:48,540 I have no idea of the details and he refused to talk about it. But... 1258 01:16:49,620 --> 01:16:51,620 ..I'm pretty sure he was a whistle-blower. 1259 01:16:51,620 --> 01:16:53,820 A whistle-blower? 1260 01:16:53,820 --> 01:16:56,780 Something was going on and he knew about it. 1261 01:16:57,660 --> 01:16:59,260 I was used to get rid of him. 1262 01:17:03,100 --> 01:17:05,300 Ethan Croft was a whistle-blower. 1263 01:17:05,300 --> 01:17:08,740 Which implies that somebody is guilty of foul play. 1264 01:17:08,740 --> 01:17:11,660 We know he was part of the negotiations with the Russians 1265 01:17:11,660 --> 01:17:15,180 for the financing of Professor Milner's shiny new engineering building. 1266 01:17:15,180 --> 01:17:17,180 Was somebody not playing by the rules? 1267 01:17:17,180 --> 01:17:19,260 It's possible. 1268 01:17:19,260 --> 01:17:21,500 Hi. Can you do something for me? 1269 01:17:21,500 --> 01:17:25,980 Crawl all over the documents relating to the engineering building, see who was involved. 1270 01:17:25,980 --> 01:17:26,140 Crawl all over the documents relating to the engineering building, see who was involved. 1271 01:17:26,140 --> 01:17:29,660 I want lots of names. That's easy. I'm very good at names. 1272 01:17:32,380 --> 01:17:35,140 Yeah, I'm sorry. What's to be sorry about? 1273 01:17:35,140 --> 01:17:39,300 I don't think this was a crime of passion. Which means you're probably wrong. 1274 01:17:39,300 --> 01:17:41,500 Even I can be wrong sometimes. 1275 01:17:41,500 --> 01:17:44,980 Maybe a reckless thing to say, but this is beginning to make sense. 1276 01:17:46,540 --> 01:17:49,980 Would it cheer you up if we collected your guitar on the way back? 1277 01:17:49,980 --> 01:17:51,980 Yes, it would. 1278 01:17:51,980 --> 01:17:54,020 Do you know Starvin' Marvin's? 1279 01:17:54,020 --> 01:17:56,100 No. You'll have to teach me. 1280 01:17:56,100 --> 01:17:59,540 The man's name is Davis. I bought the guitar from him three years ago. 1281 01:17:59,540 --> 01:18:03,340 But I thought he'd be likely to remember my name. So he's expecting a Mr Lewis. 1282 01:18:03,340 --> 01:18:07,140 It might well have been stolen property then and it certainly is now. 1283 01:18:07,140 --> 01:18:09,260 What is he expecting from this Mr Lewis? 1284 01:18:09,260 --> 01:18:10,860 £3,000 in cash. 1285 01:18:12,260 --> 01:18:14,940 I don't actually have £3,000 on me. 1286 01:18:14,940 --> 01:18:17,380 It being...Sunday. 1287 01:18:18,540 --> 01:18:21,580 And how am I meant to identify this as the right instrument? 1288 01:18:21,580 --> 01:18:23,660 He might try and fob me off with some old banjo. 1289 01:18:23,660 --> 01:18:25,300 Look inside the lid. 1290 01:18:25,300 --> 01:18:28,780 Your guitar has a lid? I thought only pianos had lids. 1291 01:18:28,780 --> 01:18:30,860 Inside the lid of the case. 1292 01:18:30,860 --> 01:18:34,300 I know it sounds pathetic, but I collect autographs from famous guitarists. 1293 01:18:34,300 --> 01:18:36,460 You'll find them inside... Inside the lid. 1294 01:18:36,460 --> 01:18:38,740 Tell me some names so I know what to look out for. 1295 01:18:38,740 --> 01:18:43,660 Martin Taylor, Dave Cliff, Phil Lee, Pat Metheny, Russell Malone, John Parricelli... 1296 01:18:43,660 --> 01:18:43,740 Martin Taylor, Dave Cliff, Phil Lee, Pat Metheny, Russell Malone, John Parricelli... 1297 01:18:43,740 --> 01:18:45,540 Thank you. That's enough names. 1298 01:19:00,260 --> 01:19:02,340 Mr Lewis? 1299 01:19:02,340 --> 01:19:04,380 I'm here to collect a guitar. 1300 01:19:04,380 --> 01:19:06,420 Be my guest. Got the cash? 1301 01:19:06,420 --> 01:19:08,300 May I...see the goods? 1302 01:19:16,300 --> 01:19:18,180 OK? 1303 01:19:18,180 --> 01:19:19,580 Yeah. 1304 01:19:19,580 --> 01:19:22,260 You're under arrest. What? 1305 01:19:22,260 --> 01:19:26,100 This guitar was stolen from the boot of a car late on Friday evening. 1306 01:19:26,100 --> 01:19:28,020 I know his face. 1307 01:19:29,060 --> 01:19:31,380 Detective Sergeant Hathaway, Oxford police. 1308 01:19:31,380 --> 01:19:32,700 We've done business before. 1309 01:19:33,820 --> 01:19:35,700 Oh. Bugger. 1310 01:19:40,020 --> 01:19:41,940 (PHONE RINGS) 1311 01:19:43,700 --> 01:19:46,140 Lewis. Where the hell are you? 1312 01:19:46,140 --> 01:19:49,820 We're dealing with a double murder. You're not at the murder scene and not here. 1313 01:19:49,820 --> 01:19:52,580 The only person here is a very expensive Russian translator. 1314 01:19:52,580 --> 01:19:56,140 I'm told you're on a related inquiry. In what way related? 1315 01:19:56,140 --> 01:19:59,100 Er...both happened on the bank holiday weekend. 1316 01:19:59,100 --> 01:20:00,780 That's twaddle. 1317 01:20:00,780 --> 01:20:04,300 But your translator has turned up a couple of little gems 1318 01:20:04,300 --> 01:20:06,500 which might just get you off the hook. 1319 01:20:06,500 --> 01:20:10,980 According to our information, gleaned from Ethan Croft's computer files, 1320 01:20:10,980 --> 01:20:14,340 your deal with the Russians who were financing the engineering building 1321 01:20:14,340 --> 01:20:16,100 didn't run all that smoothly. 1322 01:20:16,100 --> 01:20:18,260 These things are always complicated. 1323 01:20:18,260 --> 01:20:21,220 The company that was originally involved pulled out 1324 01:20:21,220 --> 01:20:24,660 and you ended up working with some exceedingly dubious oligarchs. 1325 01:20:28,060 --> 01:20:30,900 I'm an engineer. No more, no less. 1326 01:20:32,380 --> 01:20:34,380 I had nothing to do with those people. 1327 01:20:34,380 --> 01:20:36,620 So who did? 1328 01:20:38,700 --> 01:20:40,620 Thank you for looking after me. 1329 01:20:41,860 --> 01:20:44,580 The feeling's mutual. Don't be a stranger. 1330 01:20:44,580 --> 01:20:47,620 Well, we've done the telephone numbers. So, what do they eat? 1331 01:20:47,620 --> 01:20:49,580 Sorry? 1332 01:20:49,580 --> 01:20:53,700 I was thinking maybe I could come and see you and bring something for your tropical fish. 1333 01:20:53,700 --> 01:20:55,540 Ah. 1334 01:20:55,540 --> 01:20:57,420 I lied about the tropical fish. 1335 01:20:59,420 --> 01:21:01,620 You don't have any? 1336 01:21:01,620 --> 01:21:04,180 No. I do have two teenage children. And a wife? 1337 01:21:06,420 --> 01:21:08,420 I just wanted you to feel better. 1338 01:21:10,500 --> 01:21:12,380 Excuse me. I think I'm needed. 1339 01:21:17,660 --> 01:21:20,900 Does this mean people can go home? More or less. 1340 01:21:21,900 --> 01:21:23,980 Except we'd like a word with Mr Anderson. 1341 01:21:25,100 --> 01:21:26,820 Me? 1342 01:21:31,060 --> 01:21:33,260 Look, I'm sorry about all this. 1343 01:21:33,260 --> 01:21:35,780 You promised me a weekend to remember. I know. 1344 01:21:36,700 --> 01:21:38,140 I doubt I'll forget it. 1345 01:21:43,380 --> 01:21:46,180 Perhaps next time they should go to the other place. 1346 01:21:51,060 --> 01:21:53,140 You work for a firm of corporate lawyers, 1347 01:21:53,140 --> 01:21:56,140 specialists in brokering international business deals. 1348 01:21:56,140 --> 01:22:00,340 Yes. And you did the deal for the financing of the new engineering building? 1349 01:22:00,340 --> 01:22:02,580 We did. And very tedious it was, too. 1350 01:22:02,580 --> 01:22:04,340 Why? 1351 01:22:04,340 --> 01:22:06,980 Russians have their own way of doing business. 1352 01:22:06,980 --> 01:22:09,180 Yeah. And somewhere along the line, 1353 01:22:09,180 --> 01:22:13,340 one lot of Russians disappeared and were replaced with another lot. 1354 01:22:13,340 --> 01:22:15,860 Not dissimilar to gangsters. 1355 01:22:15,860 --> 01:22:20,580 Money was laundered. Money from drugs, prostitution, protection, people smuggling. 1356 01:22:20,580 --> 01:22:22,900 That is an absurd suggestion. 1357 01:22:22,900 --> 01:22:27,820 And Ethan Croft, as the official translator, was a witness to the whole transaction. 1358 01:22:27,820 --> 01:22:31,100 And he left complete records of all this on his computer files. 1359 01:22:31,100 --> 01:22:33,980 Ethan Croft was a womaniser and a fantasist. 1360 01:22:33,980 --> 01:22:37,060 Also, a wild-eyed Trot, still marooned in the 1980s. 1361 01:22:37,060 --> 01:22:41,460 But honourable in his own way. Even his wife said so. That's why he couldn't be bought off. 1362 01:22:41,460 --> 01:22:43,460 So when he tried to blow the whistle, 1363 01:22:43,460 --> 01:22:48,660 you and your old university cronies conspired to stitch him up for sexual harassment. 1364 01:22:48,660 --> 01:22:48,700 you and your old university cronies conspired to stitch him up for sexual harassment. 1365 01:22:49,860 --> 01:22:52,540 You two are even bigger fantasists than he was. 1366 01:22:52,540 --> 01:22:56,660 Why didn't you join your friends for coffee after you left the library yesterday afternoon? 1367 01:22:56,660 --> 01:22:59,980 But I did. We browsed in the library and then went for a coffee. 1368 01:22:59,980 --> 01:23:01,300 Here's the bill. 1369 01:23:02,420 --> 01:23:05,700 Three coffees, three cheesecakes. 1370 01:23:05,700 --> 01:23:07,620 McCavity wasn't there. 1371 01:23:07,620 --> 01:23:09,700 Why wait all these years? 1372 01:23:09,700 --> 01:23:11,260 You've lost me. 1373 01:23:11,260 --> 01:23:14,180 If you're going to murder Ethan Croft, why wait until now? 1374 01:23:14,180 --> 01:23:16,300 It must be the knighthood. I blame the Queen. 1375 01:23:16,300 --> 01:23:18,900 You get a knighthood in the New Year's Honours List 1376 01:23:18,900 --> 01:23:21,460 for services to the law and international relations? 1377 01:23:21,460 --> 01:23:24,460 That's a step too far for Mr Croft. 1378 01:23:24,460 --> 01:23:28,620 So, this weekend the two of you are down here answering silly questions 1379 01:23:28,620 --> 01:23:33,220 and he threatens to lift up the stone and let all those creepy-crawlies see the light of day. 1380 01:23:33,220 --> 01:23:37,340 And being a womaniser and a show-off, he decides to share the information with Eve Rigby. 1381 01:23:39,180 --> 01:23:42,820 Oh, is that the proposition? That I killed both of them? 1382 01:23:42,820 --> 01:23:44,940 That's most certainly the proposition. 1383 01:23:44,940 --> 01:23:47,420 You heard them arguing outside your room. 1384 01:23:47,420 --> 01:23:51,140 They both knew about your grubby little secrets. So they both had to go. 1385 01:23:54,340 --> 01:23:57,620 I am a lawyer. I don't murder people. 1386 01:23:57,620 --> 01:23:59,820 I wouldn't know where to start. Wrong. 1387 01:23:59,820 --> 01:24:01,300 You'd know exactly where to start. 1388 01:24:03,620 --> 01:24:07,300 According to your Who's Who entry, you're an expert in martial arts, 1389 01:24:07,300 --> 01:24:09,940 which, in plain English, makes you a trained killer. 1390 01:24:13,380 --> 01:24:15,460 Who's Who? 1391 01:24:15,460 --> 01:24:19,180 Vanity of vanities. All is vanity. 1392 01:24:23,100 --> 01:24:25,260 He may have been a trained killer, 1393 01:24:25,260 --> 01:24:28,860 but he wasn't smart enough to wear gloves when he strangled Eve Rigby. 1394 01:24:28,860 --> 01:24:31,820 We'll get a DNA match? Past the post and weighed in. 1395 01:24:31,820 --> 01:24:33,700 I'll pretend I understand that. 1396 01:24:35,140 --> 01:24:37,260 Have we really finished for the night? 1397 01:24:37,260 --> 01:24:40,100 Yeah. All's right with the world. 1398 01:24:40,100 --> 01:24:44,020 On a purely temporary basis, of course. I've got a husband to confront when I get home. 1399 01:24:44,020 --> 01:24:45,860 I've got my baby back. 1400 01:24:45,860 --> 01:24:47,020 Stop it. 1401 01:24:48,980 --> 01:24:53,060 I assume that guitar is or was the related inquiry? 1402 01:24:53,060 --> 01:24:54,860 Yeah. The Gibson factor. 1403 01:24:54,860 --> 01:24:57,260 It wasn't related at all? Hardly at all, no. 1404 01:24:57,260 --> 01:24:59,900 Just be grateful I'm nice. Good night, gentlemen. 1405 01:24:59,900 --> 01:25:01,780 BOTH: Night. 1406 01:25:04,860 --> 01:25:06,380 Hi, Laura? 1407 01:25:07,620 --> 01:25:11,740 Listen, I know it's a bit late, but we might just find somewhere that's still open. 1408 01:25:12,900 --> 01:25:15,260 What do you think? Bit of a consolation prize? 1409 01:25:16,380 --> 01:25:18,460 What does she think? 1410 01:25:18,460 --> 01:25:20,340 It's personal. 1411 01:25:29,740 --> 01:25:32,780 There's nothing I can do. It's a bank holiday weekend. 1412 01:25:32,780 --> 01:25:34,740 It's so busy. I'm sorry. 1413 01:25:38,140 --> 01:25:42,540 Same story again. 'It's a bank holiday weekend. You should have booked a table.' 1414 01:25:42,540 --> 01:25:42,980 Same story again. 'It's a bank holiday weekend. You should have booked a table.' 1415 01:25:42,980 --> 01:25:44,420 Damn. 1416 01:25:44,420 --> 01:25:47,100 Desperate times, desperate measures. Wait there. 1417 01:26:08,140 --> 01:26:12,420 Who'd have thought that one day haddock would be a luxury food? 1418 01:26:13,580 --> 01:26:16,180 And that we'd get little forks to eat it with? 1419 01:26:16,180 --> 01:26:19,020 Yeah. I know how to give a girl a good time. 1420 01:26:23,900 --> 01:26:25,900 I'm sorry about the opera, though. 1421 01:26:25,900 --> 01:26:27,820 Mm, me, too. 1422 01:26:29,140 --> 01:26:31,100 Had you booked somewhere nice to stay? 1423 01:26:32,420 --> 01:26:37,060 Just a modern little country house hotel in its own grounds, 1424 01:26:37,060 --> 01:26:41,220 with a swimming pool, and a gymnasium, a jogging trail. 1425 01:26:41,220 --> 01:26:44,300 And just to stop you wondering, I'd booked two rooms. 1426 01:26:45,420 --> 01:26:47,140 Of course. 1427 01:26:49,940 --> 01:26:53,460 It would have been a damn sight more exciting than a quiz weekend. 1428 01:26:54,700 --> 01:26:57,780 What's the attraction about quizzes? Why do people do it? 1429 01:26:59,020 --> 01:27:03,500 Compulsive list-makers. Clinically speaking, they're... obsessive neurotics. 1430 01:27:03,500 --> 01:27:03,980 Compulsive list-makers. Clinically speaking, they're... obsessive neurotics. 1431 01:27:06,700 --> 01:27:08,980 Here's a question. 1432 01:27:08,980 --> 01:27:13,860 If you went on Mastermind, what would be your chosen specialist subject? 1433 01:27:15,980 --> 01:27:18,140 Well, the thing I know most about is... 1434 01:27:18,980 --> 01:27:20,380 ..corpses. 1435 01:27:21,980 --> 01:27:25,100 That would go down great. A barrel of laughs. 1436 01:27:27,860 --> 01:27:29,860 What about your specialist subject? 1437 01:27:32,620 --> 01:27:35,060 Aside from work and the kids, I haven't got one. 1438 01:27:38,380 --> 01:27:40,260 What about loneliness? 1439 01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:46,580 Pass. 1440 01:27:55,820 --> 01:27:57,700 itfc subtitles 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 121032

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