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1
00:00:04,934 --> 00:00:07,767
HEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
2
00:00:07,834 --> 00:00:09,067
DADDY SAID A BAD WORD,
3
00:00:09,133 --> 00:00:11,133
SO WE'RE MAKING HIM
TAKE A TIME-OUT.
4
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,234
FOR A WHOLE HOUR.
5
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:16,501
Cheryl: OH, WOW.
6
00:00:16,567 --> 00:00:19,767
SITTING ON THE COUCH
READING THE PAPER.
7
00:00:19,834 --> 00:00:23,067
THAT MUST BE REALLY
HARD FOR DADDY.
8
00:00:24,701 --> 00:00:27,100
WELL, YOU KNOW, CHERYL,
I KINDA HAD IT COMING.
9
00:00:27,167 --> 00:00:29,634
I MEAN, THE ONE THING THAT
WOULD MAKE IT WORSE IS--
10
00:00:29,701 --> 00:00:31,467
NO, IT'S TOO HORRIBLE.
11
00:00:31,534 --> 00:00:32,501
ALL RIGHT, I'LL SAY IT.
12
00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:34,434
PLEASE, GIRLS,
13
00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:36,734
DON'T FORCE CHIPS
AND BEER ON ME.
14
00:00:38,901 --> 00:00:40,734
Both: CHIPS AND BEER!
CHIPS AND BEER!
15
00:00:40,801 --> 00:00:42,367
NO!
16
00:00:42,434 --> 00:00:44,667
NO! AND NOT THE COLD
ONES IN THE BACK!
17
00:00:48,634 --> 00:00:49,567
HAH!
18
00:00:50,734 --> 00:00:52,567
OH, BABY.
19
00:00:56,834 --> 00:00:58,133
MOMMY!
20
00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,634
COMING, GIRLS!
21
00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:02,701
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?
22
00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:04,968
OH, RIGHT, KIDS.
23
00:01:05,033 --> 00:01:06,868
I AM SO GLAD
YOU'RE HOME.
24
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:07,868
THE GIRLS
ARE STILL SICK,
25
00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:08,901
AND I HAVE GOT TO PEE.
26
00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:10,534
I'VE BEEN HOLDING IT IN
ALL DAY.
27
00:01:10,601 --> 00:01:12,534
WOW. WHERE WAS
THAT BLADDER CONTROL
28
00:01:12,601 --> 00:01:13,968
WHEN WE DROVE TO WISCONSIN?
29
00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:18,167
[KYLE CRYING]
30
00:01:18,234 --> 00:01:19,200
WHERE'S KYLE?!
31
00:01:19,267 --> 00:01:20,834
ON THE WASHER!
32
00:01:20,901 --> 00:01:23,801
[ CRYING ]
33
00:01:23,868 --> 00:01:26,267
HIT THE SPIN CYCLE.
IT MAKES HIM SLEEPY.
34
00:01:28,968 --> 00:01:30,033
PEEKABOO!
35
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,501
GODSPEED, JOHN GLENN.
36
00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:33,501
[TURNS ON WASHER]
37
00:01:34,901 --> 00:01:36,868
THAT A BOY.
38
00:01:36,934 --> 00:01:38,000
Both: MOMMY!
39
00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:40,067
WELL, HOW ARE
MY LITTLE GIRLS DOING, HUH?
40
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:42,000
WHAT'S THE MATTER, BABY?
OHH!
41
00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:43,334
SHE'S GONNA THROW UP.
42
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,200
OHH! OHH!
43
00:01:46,267 --> 00:01:48,667
UH, CHERYL,
GRACIE'S GONNA THROW UP!
44
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:49,901
DEAL WITH IT!
45
00:01:49,968 --> 00:01:51,767
UH, I'M NOT
THE THROW-UP PERSON!
46
00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:53,601
I'M THE TAKE-OUT-THE-TRASH GUY!
47
00:01:54,734 --> 00:01:56,234
YOU DON'T DO THAT,
EITHER!
48
00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:57,434
OHH.
49
00:01:57,501 --> 00:01:59,734
OHH.
HERE YOU GO, BABY.
50
00:02:07,167 --> 00:02:08,968
OH, GOD, I REMEMBER
DOING THIS WITH YOUR MOTHER
51
00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:10,467
AFTER AN AEROSMITH CONCERT.
52
00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:14,634
OOP, NOTHING COMING OUT.
53
00:02:16,334 --> 00:02:18,033
OKAY, I THINK
IT'S A FALSE ALARM, HONEY.
54
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,901
[ KISS ] THERE YOU GO.
55
00:02:19,968 --> 00:02:21,634
JIM, WOULD YOU CLEAR OFF
THIS TABLE, PLEASE?
56
00:02:21,701 --> 00:02:26,567
HONEY, I JUST MADE DINNER.
I ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS.
57
00:02:26,634 --> 00:02:28,133
AND I ONLY HAVE ONE.
58
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,033
YEAH? WELL,
WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?
59
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,534
YOURS.
60
00:02:31,601 --> 00:02:34,567
I TOLD YOU NOT
TO SNEAK UP ON ME IN THE SHOWER.
61
00:02:34,634 --> 00:02:37,400
I DON'T KNOW.
IN THE MOVIES, THE WOMEN LOVE IT.
62
00:02:37,467 --> 00:02:40,834
YEAH, WELL, IN THE MOVIES,
IT'S RUSSELL CROWE.
63
00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:45,501
OH, THANK GOD.
ADULT FOOD.
64
00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:46,634
OHH.
65
00:02:46,701 --> 00:02:49,567
MOMMY, YOU PROMISED
YOU WOULD READ MADELINE.
66
00:02:49,634 --> 00:02:51,601
YOU SAID YOU WOULD
COLOR WITH ME.
67
00:02:51,667 --> 00:02:53,434
OH, HONEY, HELP, PLEASE.
NO, ME FIRST!
68
00:02:53,501 --> 00:02:55,834
OKAY. HEY, GIRLS,
YOU KNOW WHAT?
69
00:02:55,901 --> 00:02:59,167
IF YOU DON'T GO UPSTAIRS
AND GET IN BED RIGHT NOW,
70
00:02:59,234 --> 00:03:00,400
SANTA WON'T COME TONIGHT.
71
00:03:00,467 --> 00:03:02,133
[BOTH GASP]
72
00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:06,234
WHAT?
73
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:07,767
YOU'LL DEAL WITH IT
TOMORROW.
74
00:03:10,601 --> 00:03:11,601
MMM, THAT LOOKS--
75
00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:13,767
[ HISSING ]
AAH-AAH!
76
00:03:13,834 --> 00:03:15,567
OH, I'M SORRY.
77
00:03:15,634 --> 00:03:17,667
IT'S JUST THAT IT'S BEEN
LIKE THIS ALL DAY. THEY'RE--
78
00:03:17,734 --> 00:03:19,267
THEY'RE SICK
AND THEY'RE CRANKY,
79
00:03:19,334 --> 00:03:20,634
AND THEY'RE DRIVING ME NUTS.
80
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,200
WELL, I GOT TWO WORDS
FOR YOU, HONEY--TV.
81
00:03:23,267 --> 00:03:24,667
NO.
82
00:03:24,734 --> 00:03:27,100
COME ON, HONEY,
PUT A TV IN THEIR ROOM,
83
00:03:27,167 --> 00:03:29,367
AND YOU WON'T HEAR
A PEEP OUT OF THEM.
84
00:03:29,434 --> 00:03:31,868
JIM, WE PROMISED OURSELVES
WE WOULD NEVER DO THAT.
85
00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:34,167
WE PROMISED OURSELVES
WE WOULDN'T DO A LOT OF THINGS.
86
00:03:34,234 --> 00:03:35,968
LIKE NOT GO TO BED MAD
87
00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:38,734
OR WITH OTHER PEOPLE,
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
88
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,334
HEY, GUYS.
89
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,133
OH. OH, YOU'RE EATING.
90
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,667
OH, THAT'S OKAY.
YOU CAN WATCH.
91
00:03:45,868 --> 00:03:48,234
I-I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY,
92
00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:50,701
AND I NEED YOU BOTH
TO LISTEN.
93
00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:53,567
I'M IN THERAPY.
94
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:54,667
SINCE WHEN?
95
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,868
FOR ABOUT A MONTH,
AND I REALLY FEEL LIKE
96
00:03:56,934 --> 00:04:00,234
I'M GETTING ACQUAINTED
WITH THE ANDY DEEP INSIDE.
97
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:01,767
THERAPY, HUH?
98
00:04:01,834 --> 00:04:05,133
YOU MEAN LIKE, BBBLLLBB,
BBBLLLBBB, BBBLLLBBB?
99
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,467
NICE.
100
00:04:06,534 --> 00:04:07,467
NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT, CHERYL.
101
00:04:07,534 --> 00:04:09,767
DR. GAMBLE AND I
FELT IT'D BE HELPFUL
102
00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:12,167
IF, UH, MY TWO SISTERS
JOINED ME.
103
00:04:12,234 --> 00:04:13,934
OH, ANDY, I'D LOVE TO,
104
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,133
BUT THE GIRLS
ARE STILL SICK,
105
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,200
SO I'M KIND OF STUCK
HERE.
106
00:04:16,267 --> 00:04:17,934
WELL, MAYBE JIM
COULD WATCH THEM.
107
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,067
Cheryl: OH.
108
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:20,667
WHAT, YOU WANT ME
TO BABY-SIT?
109
00:04:22,267 --> 00:04:23,734
YOU DO KNOW
IT'S NOT BABY-SITTING
110
00:04:23,801 --> 00:04:25,934
WHEN THEY'RE YOUR OWN KIDS?
111
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,067
YOU'VE BEEN TALKING
TO THAT MOM
112
00:04:28,133 --> 00:04:29,968
DOWN THE STREET,
HAVEN'T YOU?
113
00:04:30,033 --> 00:04:32,667
THE FANCY ONE
WITH A JOB.
114
00:04:32,734 --> 00:04:34,767
WELL, I'M SORRY, HONEY,
115
00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:37,634
BUT SOME OF US JUST LIKE TO BE
THE BEST PARENTS WE CAN BE.
116
00:04:37,701 --> 00:04:39,033
[WASHER BUZZES]
117
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:41,968
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I THINK MY BABY'S DONE.
118
00:04:47,501 --> 00:04:51,033
SO CHERYL PICKED ME UP,
DRIED THE BLOOD OFF MY NOSE,
119
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:53,334
AND TOLD ME EVERYTHING
WAS GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
120
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:54,801
OHH...
121
00:04:54,868 --> 00:04:57,100
YOU'RE FORTUNATE TO HAVE SUCH
A WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL SISTER.
122
00:04:57,167 --> 00:05:01,133
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M
WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL.
123
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,634
HELLO, EVERYONE.
124
00:05:02,701 --> 00:05:04,167
HI, I'M DANA.
125
00:05:04,234 --> 00:05:06,701
DANA, YOU'RE LATE.
YOU KNOW, YOU COULD'VE CALLED.
126
00:05:06,767 --> 00:05:09,334
YEAH, WELL, MAYBE
I WAS WAITING OUTSIDE
127
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,901
WORKING UP THE COURAGE
TO WALK IN THAT DOOR
128
00:05:11,968 --> 00:05:12,901
AND BARE MY SOUL.
129
00:05:12,968 --> 00:05:14,567
YEAH, CHERYL.
130
00:05:14,634 --> 00:05:15,567
WHAT'S IN THE BAG?
131
00:05:15,634 --> 00:05:16,801
NEW SHOES.
132
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,467
INTERESTING, DANA, THAT YOU
WOULD STOP TO BUY SHOES,
133
00:05:20,534 --> 00:05:21,634
KNOWING YOU'D BE LATE.
134
00:05:21,701 --> 00:05:25,100
NOT REALLY, ONCE YOU
GET TO KNOW ME.
135
00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:27,400
IS IT BECAUSE YOU DON'T FEEL
PRETTY ON THE INSIDE?
136
00:05:27,467 --> 00:05:29,801
IT'S OKAY, DANA.
137
00:05:29,868 --> 00:05:32,534
I DON'T FEEL SO PRETTY
ON THE INSIDE EITHER.
138
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:37,000
I'M FINE.
139
00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:39,300
BEFORE YOU CAME IN,
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE TIME
140
00:05:39,367 --> 00:05:40,701
YOU PUNCHED ANDY
IN THE FACE.
141
00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:43,234
WHICH TIME?
142
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:44,667
MY SIXTH BIRTHDAY.
143
00:05:44,734 --> 00:05:47,434
MOM PROMISED ME THE FLOWER
ON THE CAKE--THE BIG ONE.
144
00:05:47,501 --> 00:05:49,767
YOU, YOU TOOK IT...
145
00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:50,934
AND ONLY ATE HALF OF IT,
146
00:05:51,033 --> 00:05:53,300
THEN GAVE THE REST
TO THE DOG.
147
00:05:53,367 --> 00:05:54,534
THEN YOU PUNCHED ME.
148
00:05:55,667 --> 00:05:57,367
YOUR FRIENDS
THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY.
149
00:05:57,434 --> 00:06:00,968
IT WAS MY FLOWER,
AND YOU TOOK IT!
150
00:06:01,033 --> 00:06:02,434
HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL,
ANDY?
151
00:06:02,501 --> 00:06:05,100
I FEEL VIOLATED
AND IGNORED AND DISCARDED.
152
00:06:05,167 --> 00:06:08,767
I FEEL ATTACKED
AND BETRAYED.
153
00:06:10,267 --> 00:06:11,567
I'M FINE.
154
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,634
HEY, BEAUTY.
155
00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:20,734
HEY.
156
00:06:20,801 --> 00:06:22,300
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHERE ARE THE KIDS?
157
00:06:22,367 --> 00:06:24,167
IN THEIR ROOM.
158
00:06:24,234 --> 00:06:25,667
ARE THEY OKAY?
159
00:06:25,734 --> 00:06:27,567
OH, YEAH,
THEY'RE FINE.
160
00:06:27,634 --> 00:06:29,234
THEY'VE BEEN UP
THERE ALL EVENING.
161
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:32,267
HAVEN'T HEARD A PEEP
OUT OF THEM.
162
00:06:32,334 --> 00:06:33,667
HOW WAS DR. BOOGABOOGA?
163
00:06:35,234 --> 00:06:37,334
WELL, I'M FINE.
164
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,334
AND ANDY'S REALLY OPENING UP.
165
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:43,567
HE EVEN CRIED.
166
00:06:43,634 --> 00:06:44,567
OH, BIG DEAL.
167
00:06:44,634 --> 00:06:46,667
I MAKE ANDY CRY
EVERY DAY AT WORK.
168
00:06:46,734 --> 00:06:47,834
FOR 150 BUCKS AN HOUR,
169
00:06:47,901 --> 00:06:49,634
I'LL MAKE HIM
CRAP HIS PANTS.
170
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:54,367
MMM.
171
00:06:54,434 --> 00:06:56,033
MMM. IT'S GOOD.
172
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:57,567
YOU LIKE IT?
YEAH.
173
00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,634
GOOD, 'CAUSE WE GOT
A 3-GALLON BOX IN THE KITCHEN.
174
00:07:02,734 --> 00:07:03,767
OH.
175
00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:07,434
WOW.
176
00:07:07,501 --> 00:07:08,534
IT'S NICE, HUH?
177
00:07:08,601 --> 00:07:10,300
WOULD YOU LISTEN TO THAT?
178
00:07:10,367 --> 00:07:13,767
I DON'T HEAR ANY KIDS
WHINING OR...
179
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,868
FIGHTING OR YELLING.
180
00:07:18,067 --> 00:07:19,801
YOU PUT THE TV
IN THEIR ROOM!
181
00:07:19,868 --> 00:07:22,234
UH-HUH, AND I GOT
A BUNCH OF STUFF FINISHED.
182
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:24,267
LIKE WHAT?
183
00:07:24,334 --> 00:07:25,334
PEANUTS.
184
00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:30,467
JIM...
WHAT?
185
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,133
WE SAID NO TV
IN THEIR ROOM.
186
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,367
I KNOW, I KNOW, HONEY,
187
00:07:33,434 --> 00:07:35,434
BUT IT'S JUST WHILE
THEY'RE SICK AND CRANKY
188
00:07:35,501 --> 00:07:36,501
AND LIVING AT HOME.
189
00:07:37,767 --> 00:07:38,834
COME ON, BABY.
190
00:07:38,901 --> 00:07:40,501
[ SIGHS ]
COME ON.
191
00:07:42,067 --> 00:07:44,033
OOH, YOU KNOW,
YOU SMELL SO GOOD.
192
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:45,033
OHH...
193
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:46,567
DID YOU HAVE FRIES
ON THE WAY HOME?
194
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:47,567
[ LAUGHS ]
195
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,300
[ SNIFFING ]
196
00:07:49,367 --> 00:07:50,901
OH, OKAY.
197
00:07:50,968 --> 00:07:53,934
ALL RIGHT, I GUESS IT'S OKAY,
BUT ONLY TILL THEY'RE BETTER.
198
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,601
ABSOLUTELY.
OKAY.
199
00:07:57,300 --> 00:08:00,968
CHERYL...COME TO
THE DARK SIDE.
200
00:08:09,634 --> 00:08:12,501
Cheryl: OH, I'M SO RELAXED,
IT'S STARTING TO WORRY ME.
201
00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:15,767
YEAH, I'M STARTING
TO REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE
202
00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:18,434
BEFORE WE HAD KIDS.
203
00:08:18,501 --> 00:08:20,400
YOU MEAN BACK WHEN WE COULD
BOTH FIT IN THE TUB?
204
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:23,100
YEAH, YOU REALLY
LET YOURSELF GO.
205
00:08:25,434 --> 00:08:27,000
EWW, LOOK.
206
00:08:27,067 --> 00:08:30,767
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK
I WANT TO SEE THAT?
207
00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:32,767
CAN WE GET THE BENNY HILL
COLLECTION?
208
00:08:32,834 --> 00:08:34,767
IT'S NOT SOLD IN STORES.
209
00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:37,400
ALL RIGHT.
THAT IS IT.
210
00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:39,167
GIRLS, I'LL WORK ON IT.
I'LL WORK ON IT.
211
00:08:39,234 --> 00:08:40,868
BACK TO BED, GIRLS.
212
00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:43,100
JIM, RUBY'S BEEN
BACK AT SCHOOL FOR THREE DAYS.
213
00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:44,767
NO MORE TV
IN THEIR ROOM.
214
00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:46,267
AW, COME ON, CHERYL,
LOOK AT OUR LIVES.
215
00:08:46,334 --> 00:08:48,934
WE'RE LIVING LIKE
MOVIE STARS.
216
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,734
JIM, THEY'RE EATING
CHIPS AND CHOCOLATE
217
00:08:50,801 --> 00:08:52,234
AND DRINKING SODAS
IN BED.
218
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:54,267
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF THEY'RE BRUSHING THEIR TEETH ANYMORE.
219
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:58,367
HONEY, THEY'RE NOT GONNA
KEEP THOSE TEETH ANYWAY.
220
00:08:58,434 --> 00:08:59,901
THIS WHOLE THING
IS SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL.
221
00:08:59,968 --> 00:09:01,133
WE HAVE TO DRAW THE LINE
SOMEWHERE,
222
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,534
AND I AM DRAWING IT
AT TELEVISION.
223
00:09:02,601 --> 00:09:04,868
SINCE WHEN DO YOU GET
TO DRAW THE LINE?
224
00:09:04,934 --> 00:09:06,734
BECAUSE I AM
THE THROW-UP PERSON,
225
00:09:06,801 --> 00:09:09,033
AND THE THROW-UP PERSON
GETS TO DRAW THE LINE!
226
00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:12,200
WHAT ABOUT THE
TAKE-OUT-THE-TRASH GUY?
227
00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:14,200
YOU DON'T GET TO BE
THE TAKE-OUT-THE-TRASH GUY
228
00:09:14,267 --> 00:09:16,601
UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY
TAKE OUT THE TRASH.
229
00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:19,133
THAT'S NOT MY UNDERSTANDING
OF THE TITLE.
230
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,334
LOOK, JIM, WE AGREED
ON CERTAIN THINGS
231
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,400
WHEN WE BECAME A FAMILY.
232
00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:26,534
LIKE--LIKE WE'D ALWAYS
EAT DINNER TOGETHER.
233
00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:29,901
YES, EVEN WHEN
I'VE ALREADY EATEN.
234
00:09:29,968 --> 00:09:31,701
AND I WOULD STAY HOME
TO RAISE THE KIDS.
235
00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:35,067
AND THAT I WOULD LET YOU.
236
00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:36,901
AND WE'D ALWAYS WEAR
SEAT BELTS.
237
00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:38,534
ABSOLUTELY!
238
00:09:38,601 --> 00:09:40,534
AND YOU WOULD GIVE UP
RIDING YOUR MOTORCYCLE.
239
00:09:40,601 --> 00:09:44,934
IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE BELTS ON,
THE CAR'S NOT GOING!
240
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,734
JIM?
241
00:09:46,801 --> 00:09:48,133
YES?
242
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,100
HAVE YOU BEEN RIDING
YOUR MOTORCYCLE?
243
00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:56,868
A LITTLE.
244
00:09:56,934 --> 00:09:58,701
OHH!
A LITTLE. A LITTLE.
245
00:09:58,767 --> 00:10:00,734
YOU PROMISED ME YOU'D
NEVER RIDE THAT THING!
246
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:04,067
I DON'T RECALL ANY SUCH PROMISE
OR DISCUSSION THEREOF.
247
00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:06,968
JUNE 27, 1995,
THE NIGHT RUBY WAS BORN.
248
00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:09,901
YOU SAT NEXT TO MY HOSPITAL
BED WITH TEARS IN YOUR EYES,
249
00:10:09,968 --> 00:10:11,467
AND YOU PROMISED ME
YOU WOULD NEVER, EVER
250
00:10:11,534 --> 00:10:14,033
RIDE THAT THING
EVER AGAIN.
251
00:10:15,701 --> 00:10:16,667
TOUCH�E.
252
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,734
NO! NO! NO!
253
00:10:29,801 --> 00:10:32,000
NO MORE TV!
254
00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:33,334
COME ON.
255
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,434
GIRLS, YOU WATCH
THE LITTLE MERMAID
256
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:35,467
ONE MORE TIME...
257
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,467
SHE'LL DIE.
258
00:10:37,534 --> 00:10:38,767
PLEASE!
DADDY!
259
00:10:38,834 --> 00:10:41,100
DO YOU HEAR THAT?
260
00:10:41,167 --> 00:10:43,901
I THINK IT'S RAINING CANDY
OUTSIDE.
261
00:10:43,968 --> 00:10:45,100
YAY!
YAY!
262
00:10:45,167 --> 00:10:47,467
GO! GO GET IT!
GO GET IT!
263
00:10:47,534 --> 00:10:50,801
WE REALLY SHOULD
HAVE THEM TESTED.
264
00:10:50,868 --> 00:10:52,534
WELL, HERE'S THE TV.
265
00:10:52,601 --> 00:10:53,601
IT'S NOT IN THE KIDS' ROOM
ANYMORE.
266
00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:55,434
JUST LIKE WE DECIDED,
267
00:10:55,501 --> 00:10:58,133
YOU AND ME, TOGETHER...
268
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,667
US.
269
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:02,968
OH, DON'T GIVE ME THAT.
270
00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:05,467
AH, COME ON, HONEY,
GET OFF MY BACK HERE, OKAY?
271
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:07,767
I'M NOT GONNA SELL THAT BIKE.
272
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:11,300
NO! NO, I'M SERIOUS!
I'M NOT GONNA GET RID OF IT!
273
00:11:12,734 --> 00:11:14,000
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY,
274
00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:15,667
WELL, JUST LET ME FINISH,
ALL RIGHT?
275
00:11:17,267 --> 00:11:18,934
I'M A GUY.
276
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,801
I GOT TWO FEET,
277
00:11:20,868 --> 00:11:22,567
AND I'M PUTTIN' ONE DOWN NOW.
278
00:11:22,634 --> 00:11:24,067
[STOMPS]
279
00:11:25,167 --> 00:11:27,300
COME ON.
280
00:11:27,367 --> 00:11:31,634
HONEY, DO YOU THINK
THE LONE RANGER WOULD SELL TRIGGER?
281
00:11:31,701 --> 00:11:35,701
ALL RIGHT, I KNOW
IT'S NOT TRIGGER. IT'S, UH...
282
00:11:35,767 --> 00:11:38,601
YOU'RE--YOU'RE MESSING
WITH MY MIND, CHERYL.
283
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:40,133
NOW, LISTEN--
284
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,634
HONEY, I'VE BEEN DRIVING
THAT BIKE SINCE 1984.
285
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:44,701
I MEAN,
IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME.
286
00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:46,501
IT MEANS--IT'S AS MUCH
A PART OF MY LIFE
287
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:48,567
AS THE WASHER AND DRYER
IS TO YOU.
288
00:11:57,033 --> 00:12:00,234
SHE TOOK ME TO KINDERGARTEN,
AND WHEN I GOT INTO THE ROOM,
289
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,234
I REALIZED...
290
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:04,467
IT WASN'T REALLY
UNDERWEAR DAY.
291
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,834
DANA, WHY ARE YOU READING WHILE
ANDY'S SHARING HIS FEELINGS?
292
00:12:11,901 --> 00:12:15,067
BECAUSE NO ONE
IN MY BUILDING GETS THIS MAGAZINE.
293
00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:17,467
ANDY, HOW DOES THAT
MAKE YOU FEEL?
294
00:12:17,534 --> 00:12:20,467
MAKES ME A LITTLE,
YOU KNOW, MAD.
295
00:12:20,534 --> 00:12:22,334
WELL, TELL DANA.
296
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,534
DANA, PLEASE PUT DOWN
THE MAGAZINE.
297
00:12:25,601 --> 00:12:28,467
[SNIFFS] MMM.
298
00:12:28,534 --> 00:12:30,300
DO YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE--
299
00:12:30,367 --> 00:12:31,801
YOU'RE A JERK.
300
00:12:33,267 --> 00:12:34,868
WHAT?
YOU HEARD ME.
301
00:12:34,934 --> 00:12:37,868
YOU'RE A MEAN,
SELF-CENTERED JERK!
302
00:12:42,501 --> 00:12:47,567
[CRYING]
303
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:48,701
JEEZ, ANDY.
304
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:51,701
THANK YOU.
305
00:12:57,434 --> 00:12:59,033
RIBBIT, RIBBIT.
306
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:00,767
VERY, VERY GOOD.
307
00:13:00,834 --> 00:13:02,901
OKAY, YOU GUYS READY?
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
308
00:13:02,968 --> 00:13:07,267
* LOOK, I'M AN ELEPHANT,
THIS IS HOW I WALK *
309
00:13:07,334 --> 00:13:09,367
[BLOWING]
310
00:13:09,434 --> 00:13:13,934
OHH! STAMPEDE! STAMPEDE!
311
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,067
OKAY, CHERYL, IT'S DONE.
THE BIKE IS UP ON ITS STAND,
312
00:13:17,133 --> 00:13:19,100
I DRAINED THE GAS AND THE OIL,
AND I COVERED HER UP.
313
00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:21,701
THE ONLY PROBLEM IS
I JUST CAN'T FIND THE KEYS.
314
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:22,868
OHH.
315
00:13:22,934 --> 00:13:24,567
ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE KEYS.
316
00:13:24,634 --> 00:13:26,100
THERE.
317
00:13:26,167 --> 00:13:28,467
OH, HONEY, THANK YOU.
318
00:13:28,534 --> 00:13:30,334
I KNOW HOW HARD
THAT WAS FOR YOU
319
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,868
AND I REALLY
APPRECIATE IT.
320
00:13:31,934 --> 00:13:33,400
ALL RIGHT.
MMM.
321
00:13:33,467 --> 00:13:34,400
MORE, MOMMY.
322
00:13:34,467 --> 00:13:35,400
DO ANOTHER.
323
00:13:35,467 --> 00:13:37,767
OH. OH, I HAVE ONE.
324
00:13:37,834 --> 00:13:41,400
* LOOK, I'M A DADDY,
AND THIS IS HOW I WALK *
325
00:13:41,467 --> 00:13:42,534
Jim: OH, VERY GOOD.
326
00:13:45,334 --> 00:13:47,200
Jim: AWW, VERY FUNNY.
327
00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:48,367
Cheryl: VERY GOOD!
328
00:13:48,434 --> 00:13:50,434
I DON'T DO THAT.
I DO OTHER THINGS, TOO!
329
00:13:50,501 --> 00:13:51,534
WHEN?
330
00:13:51,601 --> 00:13:52,701
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
331
00:13:52,767 --> 00:13:55,234
LET'S DO "LOOK, I'M A MOMMY,
THIS IS HOW I WALK."
332
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,934
THAT'S SWEET,
HONEY. OH, SEE?
333
00:14:04,834 --> 00:14:05,767
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
334
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:07,100
OKAY. OKAY!
335
00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:10,501
* LOOK, I'M A BIRDIE,
AND THIS IS HOW I WALK *
336
00:14:10,567 --> 00:14:12,467
BIRDIES DON'T WALK,
THEY FLY.
337
00:14:12,534 --> 00:14:14,400
DO IT!
338
00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:15,534
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
339
00:14:15,601 --> 00:14:17,634
RUBY, HONEY,
DO "LOOK, I'M A MOMMY."
340
00:14:17,701 --> 00:14:18,834
COME ON, DO THAT AGAIN.
341
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,634
RUBY, SWEETIE,
WE'RE DOING BIRDIES NOW!
342
00:14:20,701 --> 00:14:23,167
BIRDIES!
343
00:14:23,234 --> 00:14:24,734
WHAT'S THIS, HONEY?
344
00:14:24,801 --> 00:14:26,834
I'M MOMMY
SMOKING A CIGARETTE.
345
00:14:26,901 --> 00:14:30,100
[GASPS]
YOU ARE?
346
00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:34,267
* LOOK, I'M A HYPOCRITE,
SMOKY, SMOKY, SMOKE *
347
00:14:36,534 --> 00:14:38,100
KEYS, PLEASE.
348
00:14:39,901 --> 00:14:41,801
YOU GIRLS PLAY GOOD!
349
00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:45,534
[INHALES, EXHALES]
350
00:14:53,868 --> 00:14:55,901
HEY, SWEETIE.
351
00:14:58,234 --> 00:15:02,334
HONEY, YOU KNOW HOW
YOU SAW MOMMY SMOKING?
352
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,567
MM-HMM.
353
00:15:03,634 --> 00:15:07,834
AND I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW
THAT SMOKING IS BAD
354
00:15:07,901 --> 00:15:09,868
AND WHAT MOMMY DID
WAS WRONG, RIGHT?
355
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,901
WELL, MOMMY IS NOT
VERY PROUD OF HERSELF.
356
00:15:13,968 --> 00:15:15,701
WHY?
357
00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:18,567
BECAUSE SOMETIMES
MOMMIES DO THINGS
358
00:15:18,634 --> 00:15:19,567
THAT AREN'T
VERY SMART.
359
00:15:19,634 --> 00:15:20,834
[MOTORCYCLE REVS]
360
00:15:24,334 --> 00:15:26,467
AND SOMETIMES
DADDIES DO THINGS
361
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:27,701
THAT AREN'T
VERY SMART.
362
00:15:27,767 --> 00:15:29,133
WHY?
363
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,734
BECAUSE THEY HAVE
THE EMOTIONAL MATURITY
364
00:15:30,801 --> 00:15:32,334
OF A 6-YEAR-OLD.
365
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:34,968
NO OFFENSE.
366
00:15:36,434 --> 00:15:39,067
YOU KNOW HOW YOU LOVE
JAWBREAKERS?
367
00:15:39,133 --> 00:15:40,234
YEAH.
MM-HMM.
368
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:42,200
BUT YOU KNOW THEY'RE
NOT GOOD FOR YOU
369
00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:44,167
'CAUSE THEY CAN
BREAK YOUR TEETH?
370
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,734
MM-HMM.
371
00:15:45,801 --> 00:15:47,267
AND EVEN THOUGH
WE TOLD YOU
372
00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:48,601
YOU COULDN'T HAVE
THEM ANYMORE,
373
00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:50,234
WE FOUND THAT ONE
UNDER YOUR PILLOW?
374
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:53,234
THAT WASN'T MINE.
375
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,667
WHEE!
376
00:15:55,734 --> 00:15:57,801
OKAY, RUBY...
377
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:01,734
DO YOU KNOW WHO
REALLY HATES SMOKING?
378
00:16:01,801 --> 00:16:02,801
WHO?
379
00:16:02,868 --> 00:16:04,734
THE SURGEON GENERAL.
380
00:16:04,801 --> 00:16:05,901
WHO?
381
00:16:05,968 --> 00:16:07,734
SANTA.
382
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:10,801
LOOK AT ME!
383
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,100
HEY, CHERYL. YOU KNOW,
I WANTED TO ASK YOU--
384
00:16:24,167 --> 00:16:26,100
THAT SMOKED HAM
WE HAD LAST NIGHT--
385
00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:28,734
WAS IT REGULAR HAM
WHEN YOU BOUGHT IT?
386
00:16:28,801 --> 00:16:30,534
YOU KNOW, SWEETIE,
387
00:16:30,601 --> 00:16:32,300
I CAN QUIT SMOKING,
388
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,400
BUT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE AN ASS.
389
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:39,300
JEEZ, YOU SMOKE
WITH THAT MOUTH?
390
00:16:39,367 --> 00:16:41,734
NOT ANYMORE. I AM DONE.
391
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:42,834
GOOD.
392
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:44,000
YEAH.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
393
00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:45,434
I DON'T SMOKE.
394
00:16:46,968 --> 00:16:48,901
THE BIKE?
YEAH.
395
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:53,934
HONEY, YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH
A GUY WHO RODE A MOTORCYCLE.
396
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,300
YOU THOUGHT HE WAS SEXY.
397
00:16:55,367 --> 00:16:56,734
YEAH. WELL,
NOW I THINK IT'S SEXY
398
00:16:56,801 --> 00:16:58,400
WHEN YOU COME HOME
IN ONE PIECE.
399
00:16:58,467 --> 00:17:01,000
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT,
HERE'S THE DEAL.
400
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:03,200
I WON'T RIDE THE BIKE
ANYMORE,
401
00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:04,834
BUT I'M NOT GONNA
SELL IT, EITHER.
402
00:17:04,901 --> 00:17:06,601
OCCASIONALLY,
I'LL GO IN THE GARAGE
403
00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:08,133
AND SIT ON IT.
404
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:11,400
AND GO, VROOM! VROOM!
405
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,434
THAT IS NONE
OF YOUR BUSINESS.
406
00:17:19,501 --> 00:17:21,200
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
407
00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:22,767
WHAT IF THERE'S
A SPECIAL OCCASION
408
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,734
WHERE, YOU KNOW,
YOU NEED TO RIDE A MOTORCYCLE?
409
00:17:24,801 --> 00:17:26,868
LIKE WHAT?
410
00:17:26,934 --> 00:17:30,067
YOU KNOW, LIKE
A NEIGHBORHOOD PARADE.
411
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:33,000
HA. WE DON'T HAVE
A NEIGHBORHOOD PARADE.
412
00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:36,000
I KNOW, BUT SOMEONE
MIGHT START ONE.
413
00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:37,000
YOU KNOW WHAT?
414
00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:38,400
IF WE HAVE
A NEIGHBORHOOD PARADE,
415
00:17:38,467 --> 00:17:39,601
THEN YOU CAN RIDE YOUR BIKE,
416
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,267
AND I'LL SIT ON THE BACK
SMOKING.
417
00:17:42,734 --> 00:17:44,367
IT'LL BE OUR LITTLE FLOAT.
418
00:17:44,434 --> 00:17:45,868
[CHUCKLING]
419
00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:48,667
HONEY, DO YOU THINK
WE HAVE TOO MANY RULES?
420
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:51,868
I DON'T KNOW, BABY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
421
00:17:51,934 --> 00:17:53,667
WELL, I DON'T WANT
OUR GIRLS TO GROW UP
422
00:17:53,734 --> 00:17:55,734
THINKING THAT THEY CAN'T
EXPRESS THEMSELVES, YOU KNOW,
423
00:17:55,801 --> 00:17:58,634
THAT IT'S NOT OKAY TO BREAK
A RULE EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.
424
00:18:01,501 --> 00:18:04,300
OH, I THINK THEY'RE GONNA BE
JUST FINE, BABY.
425
00:18:11,467 --> 00:18:12,667
[DOOR OPENS]
426
00:18:15,968 --> 00:18:17,434
WE WEREN'T SURE
IF YOU WERE COMING.
427
00:18:17,501 --> 00:18:20,234
I WASN'T EITHER.
428
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,601
ANDY...
429
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:24,067
I DON'T KNOW IF THINGS
ARE GONNA BE ANY DIFFERENT,
430
00:18:24,133 --> 00:18:27,634
BUT...YOU MAKE ME
WANT TO BE A BETTER SISTER.
431
00:18:27,701 --> 00:18:30,100
SHUT UP.
432
00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:32,033
YOU HAD ME AT
"I WASN'T EITHER."
433
00:18:34,901 --> 00:18:38,834
HERE, I GOT YOU A CAKE
WITH A FLOWER ON IT.
434
00:18:38,901 --> 00:18:41,067
OH, DANA...
435
00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:42,934
IT WAS NEVER REALLY
ABOUT THE FLOWER.
436
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,567
IT WAS JUST ME NEEDING YOU
TO ACCEPT ME
437
00:18:44,634 --> 00:18:46,300
FOR WHO I AM, THAT'S ALL.
438
00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,167
WELL, I THOUGHT ABOUT SOME
OF THE THINGS YOU SAID,
439
00:18:48,234 --> 00:18:51,200
AND IF YOU NEED ME TO CHANGE,
440
00:18:51,267 --> 00:18:53,033
I'M WILLING TO MAKE THE EFFORT.
441
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,701
THANKS, DANA.
442
00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,567
WHERE'S THE FLOWER?
443
00:18:59,634 --> 00:19:02,000
[CRYING] I ATE IT!
444
00:19:03,501 --> 00:19:07,567
WHAT? YOU ATE THE FLOW--
YOU DID IT AGAIN?
445
00:19:07,634 --> 00:19:09,300
IT LOOKED GOOD!
446
00:19:09,367 --> 00:19:11,634
WHAT'S THE SENSE
OF GIVING ME A CAKE WITH A FLOWER ON IT
447
00:19:11,701 --> 00:19:13,534
IF YOU'RE GONNA GO AHEAD
AND EAT THE FLOWER?!
448
00:19:13,601 --> 00:19:15,567
YOU SAID IT WASN'T ABOUT
THE FLOWER, YOU PSYCHO!
449
00:19:15,634 --> 00:19:16,567
YOU'RE THE PSYCHO!
450
00:19:16,634 --> 00:19:17,567
YES, YOU'RE--
I'M NOT PSYCHO!
451
00:19:17,617 --> 00:19:22,167
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