All language subtitles for The.Andy.Griffith.Show.S01E13.iNTERNAL.BDRip.x264-LiBRARiANS-en

(whistling sprightly tune)

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also sfam‘ng Don Knotrs.

Well, ‘here it is,

Mr. Mayor‘
gentlemen,

I certainly
appreciate you

giving me this chance

to speak before
the town council,

and I hope you decide
to give me your permission

to make my picture
here in Mayberry.

I'd like to starl
filming next week,

How long you figure
on being here, Mri Harmon?

A week, maybe ten days.

Sounds pretty good,

Mayor?

Uh,.. well, uh.,. Floyd?

Well...

Orville?

Mmm... Mayor?

Why don’t you
step outside for a spell?

We'll have us
a quick meeting. Mr, Harmon.

Be glad to.

Thank you.
gentlemen.

Won‘t be long—
just a minute or two,

(door closing)

(all arguing)

I don‘t like
this nary a bit!

Me, neither.

How do we know that
we can trust him?

How do we know they ain‘t coming
here to laugh at us?

Oh. no. I'm against this.

Me, too.

Well. I'm with you boys.

Now, all those opposed...

Now, wait a minute, Mayor.

We ain‘t giving this thing
a fair chance.

How do we know they’re
coming here to laugh at us?

Why, a motion picture being made
right here in Mayberry,

it might be a good
thing for the town.

Well, that's just what
I‘ve been thinking,

Might be a good thing
for the town.

Now, all those in favor...

Hold on, there.
I still say

what are they making
this movie for?

Yeah. How do we know
they ain't making it

so‘s they can
laugh at us?

Well, what would they
laugh at, Floyd?

At the way
we talk or look

or our little
fat mayor.

Are you going
to allow that, Andy?

Are you going to let them
make a picture here

and laugh
at your little fat mayor?

Well, I ain't.
All those opposed...

Now wait a minute, Mayor.

Ain‘t we a»piokin’ our peaches
'fore theyre fuzzed up good?

Huh?

Now, let me
do this-«

let me take
this Mr. Harmon

on a tour
of the town.

I can show him the way we work
and live and talk,

and like that,
and I can watch him.

And if he's got a idee
to poke any fun at us,

well, I can know it right quick.

No, sir.
Once and for all, no. No, sir.

Now, all those opposed...

Just a minute,
Mayor.

Andy's got
an idea here.

Yeah.

Reckon we got
nothing to lose.

ANDY:
Might be worth a try.

Well, that’s what I say.

Might be worth a try.

I‘m so glad
you all see it my way,

Well, now, that‘s what makes you
such a good mayor—

you think for yourself.

No kidding, Andy, they really
going to make a picture

right here in Mayberry?

They sure are.

I'm going to get the place
kinda picked up a little

before Mr. Harmon gets here.

Mr. Harmon come all the way
from Hollywood, did he?

He did.

Boy, I’d sure like to
get out there someday.

Me, too.

Help me tie these on,
will you?

Oh, yeah.

You know Gordon Bellfield,
don't you?

Yeah.

He went out there last
summer on his vacation.

Did he?

Yeah.

Took one of them
guided tours.

You know, that goes right
bythe movie stars’ homes.

-Huh.
-On a bus.

You know what happened?

No.

The bus stopped right
in front of Gary Cooper‘s house.

-It did?
-Yeah.

So they all got out

and went over to the
front yard and looked.

And you know what they saw?

No.

Gary Cooper's newspaper.

Right there in the front yard.

-That right?
»Yeah.

So they all looked
at it for a while,

and then this woman that sat

right next to Gordon
on the bus...

Yeah.

She went over
and picked it up.

She did?

Yeah.

Then Gary Cooper's maid

come out of the front door

and walked over to where
they was standing.

You know what she said?

What?

"Get off the grass."

Is that right?

Yeah.

Gordon heard her.

He was standing right there.

They all stopped and
looked and turned

and she looked back at them.

Well, then what happened?

Oh, they all got
back on the bus

and drove off and the maid
went back in the house.

(whistling)

Gary Cooper‘s maid.

Hmm. Tours sure do
sound fascinating,

Yeah, I got to get
out there someday.

Yeah.

Maybe they‘ll have
a sheriff's convention sometime

and we can go.

Yeah.

It'd be fun.
wouldn't it?

Yeah.

Barney, again?

They sure
don't make 'em

like this anymore,
do they?

Sorry, Andy.

Might know the key
would be all the way

in the other door.

ANDY:
See if I can reach it.

BARNEY:
Is that going to reach?

AN DY: It'll reach
it the broom's long enough

and my arm’s
long enough, yes.

Let me turn it over.

Be caretul.

Right. Let's see...

Now, let mejust lift it.

Be real careful.

I’m being
as careful as I can.

Careful. That's it.

(sneezes)

Barney!

BARN EY:
Sorry, Andy.

The dust got
right in my nose.

ANDY:
| see it did.

Oh, uh... howdy,
Mr. Harmon.

Oh, hello, Sheriff. Hi.

BARNEY:
Howdy,

This is marvelous.

Courthouse and the jail
all in the same room.

It's convenient.

It's marvelous.

Well, uh... all set

to take that
tour around town.

It's a nice day
for it, I'll say that,

Beautiful day...

just beautiful,

Well, uh...
are we all set to go?

Uh...

Mr. Harmon, would
you do us a favor?

Why, of course.

Uh, you, uh...

you see that key
right down there?

Uh-huh.

Uh...

Oh, you mean
that you're...

Yeah.

Oh, for Pete's sake.

We had a little
lock trouble.

Yeah, it's a good
thing you come along,

l... I wonder ifyou
wouldn't mention this

any more
than you have to.

Oh, of course not.

Appreciate that.

I'd like
for you to meet

my able deputy,
Barney Fife.

-How are you, Barney?
-How do you do?

This is Mr. Harmon,
the movie producer.

I'm gonna take him

a little tour
around town, Barney,

So you're a movie producer
from Hollywood,

You know Gabby Hayes?

HARMON:
Oh, sure, I know Gabby.

I'll be darned.

As a matter of fact

I saw Gabby
just before I left Hollywood,

You did?
What did he say?

Well, uh...
I said, "Hiya, Gabby."

And he said,
"HoWs the picture business?"

Is that what he said?

Oh, that Gabbys
a funny duck, ain‘t he?

(laughing)

Well, we might
as well

get started,
Mr. Harmon.

Fine. Well, nice to have
met you, Barney,

Oh, pleasure's all mine.

I'll see you,
Barney.

All right.

"HoWs the picture business?"

Uh“,
Mr. Harmon, uh...

Excuse me
for being nosy,

but, uh, how come
you keep looking

through your hands
like that?

Oh, well, it gives me an idea
of what the scene

might look like
through the camera lens,

In other words,

my hands serve
as a viewfinder.

on, I'll be dogged.

I've always
had one, too,

and never
did know it.

Well, ldeclare,
I do believe

| see my Aunt Bee
and my boy Opie coming,

and they look
just as clear..,

Hi, Andy.

Howdy, Aunt Bee.
Howdy, Opie.

Hi, Paw.

I'd like for you
to meet Mr. Han'non, here.

How do you do?

Mr. Harmon's
a Hollywood movie producer

coming right here to Mayberry
to make a motion picture.

-Oh, how do you do?
-Yeah.

Really?

A movie with cowboys and horses

and shootin' and killin'?

No, son, I'm afraid it's not
that kind of movie.

You mean there's another kind?

Of course there is, Opie.

This picture...

is Rock Hudson going
to be in it?

Well, no.

He's your favorite,
ain't he, Aunt Bee?

Tell the truth,

old Rock kinda does it
for you, don't he?

Oh, hush, Andy.

Hey, what would you do

if Mr, Harmon
could work it out

to where you could actually
meet Rock Hudson?

Oh, what do you
think I'd do?

I'd faint.

(laughing)

It's a beautiful
town, Aunt Bee.

-We like it.
-J ust beautiful.

-Hey, Paw,
—Hmm?

what's he doing?

Oh, he's trying to see

how Mayberry will look
on the movie screen.

Scat! That
ain't for children.

Maybe there's
something I missed,

Huh?

Oh, you want to
look through mine?

You met Floyd
up in the Mayor‘s office,

Oh, yeah. Hi, Floyd.

How are you, sir?

Floyd's been barbering folks
around here

since most of us
was just young 'uns.

-Really?
-Yeah.

You're the only barber
in town, Floyd?

Oh, yes... (mumbles)

| always did want
to be a barber.

Even when l was
just a I'ttle tiny kid

| used to practice on cats.

Cats?

Yeah, I'd catch 'em
in the alley,

-then I'd clip them.
-Oh?

We had the baldest cats
in the county.

(laughing)

That's a fact.

And folks still say

that Floyd ain't
much with people,

but he‘s a great
cat barber.

Oh, now, hold it.

(giggleS)

That's right.

And to this day,
he'll forget hisself

and stroke you
a few times

'fore he
commences cutting.

(giggleS)

Are you wanting a haircut,
Mr. Harmon?

Not today, thanks.

You don't have
to tip him.

Just arch your back
and purr at him.

0h. .

Well, maybe later.

It's been very good
talking to you, Mr. Lawson.

Oh, thank you, now,

I'll see you, Floyd.

Yeah, all right, Andy.

Ahl This is Orville Monroe's
place of business.

You met Orville
upstairs, too.

Orville's also
our TV repairman.

Folks claim he charges
less to bury you

than he does
to fix your set.

Yes? 0h.

I'm sorry to
disappoint you, Orville.

We didn't bring you
any business,

I hope we're not
interrupting you.

Well, I do have a customer
in the back room--

Mrs. Bartlett.

Ethy Bartlett?

I didn‘t know.

Yep. Her picture tube
went on the blink.

You know how she is

when she misses
her wrestling matches,

Uh, Mr. Monroe...

(car approaching)

Oh, good.

Here's them new TV antennas
I ordered.

Well, here we are,

right back
where we started~

the old oak tree.

You seen
about all we got

to offer in Mayberry.

Well,
it's very interesting,

Many/s the time

I've clumb up
this old oak tree

when l was a young ‘un.

You figure on using it
in the picture?

I should say so...
the tree and the people.

You like
the people, do you?

You wouldn't figure
on poking fun?

Poking fun?

I should say not.

Why, they/re
charming, natural.

They're very nice people.

I could never
poke tun at them.

That's good,
that’s good.

'Cause if you did,
I don't imagine

Aunt Bee would come
to see your picture,

even it you had
Rock Hudson in it.

(both laughing)

Oh, howdy, Andy.

Floyd, what in the world‘s
going on?

Every day for the past week
another store‘s gone berserk.

Everybodys getting gussied up
for the big movie.

Oh, I don't know it my fingers

are going to hold out or not
after all these haircuts.

I've given more haircuts
in this past week

than I done since I was in shop.

You want a trim, Andy?

Come on, Floyd,
finish my Cary Grant.

BARNEY: I Custer and his men
were surrounded J‘

J' The enemy had his
horses grounded I

I Then he fought, fought,
fought, yes, he I

-J‘ Fought, tought, fought J‘
-Bamejfl

I And he fought
and he fought.., J‘

Barney, come out here.

I want to tell you something.

And I want
to show you something,

Deputy Barney Fife
reporting for inspection, sir.

Barney, what in the world
have you got on?

Uniform of the day, sir!

Barney, at ease.

Vlfill you relax?

Oh, Barney, be serious,

Barney, I want you to tell me
what you got on.

Where in the world
did you get that thing?

The mayor sent it over.

Don't you like it?

He sent one over for you, too.

No, sir.

I'll not put
one of them things on,

But, Andy, the mayor sent word

there‘s to be a special meeting
oi the town council

and he expects you to show up
in your new uniform,

No, sir.

Now, I don‘t mean
to be cantankerous,

but I'll not put
one of them things on,

and | wish
you'd take yours off, too...

Smokey Bear.

(door shuts)

Sheriff,
you're late.

I'm sorry, Mayor.

Well, that‘s
all right.

Sit down, Andy,
and I'll tell you

why we called
this special meeting.

Now, this motion picture
company

is going to be here
tomorrow morning early.

Now, here's the reception
they‘re going to get from us,

As soon as they arrive,
the drum and bugle oorps

will give them
a rousing welcome

and then our ladies,
with their homemade pies,

they'll make
their presentation,

and then Juanita will sing
"Flow gently, Sweet Afton."

Your daughter's going to sing?

Anything wrong with that?

Oh, oh, nothing,

Juanita's got a lovely voice.

And then I'll make
the welcoming address

and I'll tell them
how proud we are

to have them in our fair city,

and that will lead up
to the climax

of cutting down
the old oak tree.

You're going to cut down
the oak tree?!

That‘s right, we‘re
cutting it down.

Well, what in the wortd for?!

You got no right
to do such a thing.

We got a perfect right

it the majority of the council
votes for it.

Now, all those in favor of
the program we have planned...

Wait a minute, Mayor.

What in the world
are y‘all doing?!

You‘ve changed yourselves,
your stores, your clothes,

you've given Barney and me

ndiculous-looking uniforms
to put on,

and now you goin' out down

the oldest oak tree
in the entire town?!

Why, you've all
gone out of your minds!

Andy, Andy. There‘s no time
to dilly-daily.

Now, that
motion picture company's

going to arrive here
tomorrow morning early.

We want to have
everything right, right?

-Right.
—Right.

Now, let's get to the voting.

All those in favor,
signify with the usual sign.

Opposed? -Mayor...

Ayes have it.
Pipe down, Andy.

Aunt Bee?

Opie?

Anybody home?

AUNT BEE:
Be down in a minute, Andy.

Home kind of early,
ain‘t you?

I couldn't stay in town
any longer.

Felt like a stranger.

I had to get back
where things are normal

The way the citizens
of this town are acting

you would not
believe your eyes.

I'll tell you the
tnrth, Aunt Bee,

it's a pleasure to be
back in my own home

where nothing‘s
changed,

(clearing throat)

Aunt Bee, when | tell you
some of the th...

Aunt Bee, not you and Opie, too!

Paw, are you going to wear
your new uniform tomorrow?

No, I am not.

He's not going down there
looking like that, is he?

(loud clamoring)

Come on, everybody,

Hurry up now.

Hurry Up,
everybody,

Come on,
come on.

It‘s your big day.
Now come on.

Come, all of you,
up in here.

Hurry it up. Come on.
A big day for everybody.

I sure wish you‘d have
wore your new uniform,

You‘re a sight.

Serve you right
if they don't put you

in this picture at all.

Barney, ltell
you the tmth—

you're all making
a big mistake.

Oh, let me give you
a hand there, Mayor.

Pies... pies over here.

No, don't, don't!

No! No!

Pies over there.

Where is the band?

Get the boys
over here.

Drum and bugle
over here.

Drum and bugle
over there

Get over there.

Good grief,
it's over there!

No, no, no!

That's all right.

Now, where's my daughter?
Where's my daughter?

Here.

Back there with the pies.

Now, sweetheart,
when you sing,

give them
your very best.

Mr. Mayor, here they come!

They're comin‘!

Drum and bugle,
drum and bugle.

Come on, come on.
Come with me.

Come on.

(band playing fanfare music)

Now, honey, now.

(off-key):
J' Flow gently, sweet Afton J‘

J‘ Among thy
green braes J‘

J' Flow gently J‘

I I'll sing thee J‘

J‘ A song
in thy praise I

I My Mary's asleep I

I By the
munnuring stream J‘

J' Flow gently,
sweet Afton J‘

J' Disturb not
her dream. J‘

-That was beautiful, baby.
(applause)

That was fine.

Sit down now.

And now, Mr. Harmon,
I want to tell you

that we figure
it's a privilege

to have you
in our fair city.

The welcome that you've
just experienoed

is just a sample token

of how we feel about your big
motion-picture-making company

coming here to make your movie
in our town.

And, now, as
a final gesture

of our cooperation,

we‘re about to remove

the last remaining
unsightly landmark.

We‘re about to cut
down that oak tree.

Okay, boys,
cut her down.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute,
What are you doing?

Well, we're cutting
down the tree

tor your picture.

Why?

Well, because it's
full of tree gurglers

and it's an eye sore.

It‘s rig ht in the
middle of the road.

It's in our way
here, and besides,

we want everything nice
for your picture.

Okay, boys.

No! Wait a minute.

I don't want
this tree cut down.

You don't?

Of course not.

What's gotten
into you people anyway?

Well, what
do you mean?

What have you done
to the town?

And to yourselves?

This isn't
the Mayberry

that I wanted
to photograph.

I could have built a set
like this in Hollywood.

And look at all of you.

You mean, you‘re agin' us
cutting down the Oak?

Of course I am.

This tree is part
of the picture,

and so are all of you.

But the way you were
when I first met you,

when I walked around the town
with the sheriff.

The way you were

when you were natural,
genuine, real—

that‘s what I wanted
in my picture.

Well, you're still going
to make your movie

in our town here, aren‘t you,
Mr. Harmon?

Well, of course I am.

I‘d like
to start shooting

as soon as
the company gets here.

But would you mind getting
the town back the way it was?

And get that saw away
from that tree.

Get that saw away
from that tree.

Get out of those
tn'ck-or-treat outfits.

Now, get a-moving
along, folks.

Let‘s go home
and change

and kind of natural
ourselves up a bit.

Now, let's get...

Go on now.
Break it up. Break it up.

BARNEY:
Break it up, everybody,

We tried to tell ‘em,
didn’t we, Andy?

We sure did, Mayor.

You reckon
it'd be all right

it I saved this just to wear
on Decoration Day?

| lspect.

Aunt Bee...

I got to admit you
do look right smart,

Really, Andy?

Yes, sir.

And you know
something else?

| 'spect Rock Hudson

would like you
just like that.

Oh... Andy.

Orville.

Howdy, gentlemen.

-Floyd.
-Andy.

I'm telling you, boy...

Yes, sir, Opie, everything's
back to normal in Mayberry.

(whistling sprightly tune)