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[Ulysses Voiceover] I've always
had a simultaneous fear of,
2
00:00:16,085 --> 00:00:18,262
and attraction toward, the unknown.
3
00:00:19,472 --> 00:00:21,934
And in these fucking
dark and scary times,
4
00:00:21,935 --> 00:00:25,794
it's easy to adopt a "What
difference does it make?" attitude.
5
00:00:26,570 --> 00:00:29,510
So I often find myself
in these situations
6
00:00:29,511 --> 00:00:33,327
where my heart's pounding so
fast I can barely breathe.
7
00:00:34,289 --> 00:00:38,667
And I can't tell if it's
excitement or terror or both.
8
00:00:38,668 --> 00:00:40,271
- No!
- It's not like I'm brave
9
00:00:40,272 --> 00:00:42,820
or anything, it's more
10
00:00:43,772 --> 00:00:45,523
reckless stupidity,
11
00:00:46,723 --> 00:00:48,250
an adrenaline fix,
12
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:52,715
throwing myself into the
void to see what happens.
13
00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:00,454
No!
14
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:02,689
Help me!
15
00:01:03,645 --> 00:01:05,734
[man groans]
16
00:01:07,127 --> 00:01:09,652
[screams]
17
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:10,977
[Ulysses grunting]
18
00:01:10,978 --> 00:01:14,023
Harder! Harder!
19
00:01:14,024 --> 00:01:15,071
- [door thuds]
- Dave?
20
00:01:15,072 --> 00:01:16,112
Oh, shit!
21
00:01:16,113 --> 00:01:17,303
My husband's home!
22
00:01:17,304 --> 00:01:18,516
Oh, shit.
23
00:01:18,517 --> 00:01:20,749
[stammers] What should I do?
24
00:01:23,272 --> 00:01:24,752
DAVE'S HUSBAND: Dave, where are you?!
25
00:01:24,753 --> 00:01:26,188
DAVE: In here, babe.
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00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:28,718
- [Ulysses yelps]
- [loud thud]
27
00:01:41,179 --> 00:01:43,440
[Ulysses Voiceover] So yeah,
I realized that one day
28
00:01:43,441 --> 00:01:45,325
these crazy adventures
will probably get me
29
00:01:45,326 --> 00:01:48,085
into some gigantic trouble
I can't get out of.
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00:01:48,086 --> 00:01:50,440
_
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00:01:50,441 --> 00:01:52,409
But it's almost like
I can't help myself.
32
00:01:52,410 --> 00:01:54,522
["Star Roving" by Slowdive]
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00:01:56,508 --> 00:01:59,511
I do shit sometimes and I
really don't know why.
34
00:02:02,704 --> 00:02:04,344
To avoid boredom, I guess.
35
00:02:06,055 --> 00:02:07,428
To feel alive.
36
00:02:09,102 --> 00:02:11,321
Just for the fucking fuck of it.
37
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:17,870
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
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00:02:25,934 --> 00:02:30,044
♪ Give it away now, girl ♪
39
00:02:30,045 --> 00:02:36,045
♪ Can't hold down tonight ♪
40
00:02:52,101 --> 00:02:55,124
[panting]
41
00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:56,326
Ah.
42
00:02:58,877 --> 00:03:00,077
Sorry, dude.
43
00:03:00,966 --> 00:03:02,166
Whatever.
44
00:03:03,186 --> 00:03:04,644
Hey, Severine.
45
00:03:05,862 --> 00:03:08,124
I thought you were sleeping out tonight.
46
00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:10,225
Yeah, uh, I'm not.
47
00:03:12,848 --> 00:03:16,055
Anyhoo, please, continue.
48
00:03:16,852 --> 00:03:18,261
Goodnight, Ulysses.
49
00:03:18,262 --> 00:03:19,678
Goodnight.
50
00:03:19,679 --> 00:03:21,203
Night, dude.
51
00:03:22,966 --> 00:03:26,300
ULYSSES: So, Ford and I have a
sort of strange relationship.
52
00:03:27,393 --> 00:03:30,562
We've been roommates since college
53
00:03:30,563 --> 00:03:33,889
and we kind of drunk messed
around once freshman year.
54
00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:36,631
I love him unconditionally
55
00:03:36,632 --> 00:03:40,330
and if he had even one
sexually ambiguous molecule
56
00:03:40,331 --> 00:03:42,254
in his body, we'd probably be married,
57
00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:46,118
but Ford's that truly rare Kinsey zero
58
00:03:46,119 --> 00:03:48,991
in contrast to my ever oscillating four,
59
00:03:48,992 --> 00:03:51,210
which means I'm not so totally queer
60
00:03:51,211 --> 00:03:54,663
that I haven't rubbed out a few
fantasizing about Severine.
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00:03:54,664 --> 00:03:58,362
Everything in my life right
now is a question mark,
62
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,622
which pretty much explains
what this thing is about.
63
00:04:01,623 --> 00:04:03,236
It's definitely not a vlog.
64
00:04:03,237 --> 00:04:07,009
It's more of a place to
download the random shit
65
00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:10,252
that's in my head to keep it
from like [lips pop] exploding.
66
00:04:10,253 --> 00:04:14,642
Back in school, I thought
I wanted to be an actor,
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00:04:14,643 --> 00:04:17,410
but once I got to LA,
I quickly discovered
68
00:04:17,411 --> 00:04:19,761
that's probably the lamest,
most soul-crushing thing
69
00:04:19,762 --> 00:04:21,167
I could do with my life.
70
00:04:21,168 --> 00:04:23,939
And Ford is that sad LA cliché,
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00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:25,512
an aspiring screenwriter.
72
00:04:25,513 --> 00:04:29,074
But movies are even more
irrelevant now than books.
73
00:04:29,075 --> 00:04:32,830
It's all stupid superheroes
and YA bullshit.
74
00:04:32,831 --> 00:04:35,202
And thanks to Instagram,
art and photography,
75
00:04:35,203 --> 00:04:37,474
all of that's pretty
much obsolete now too,
76
00:04:37,475 --> 00:04:39,159
so lacking a better outlet,
77
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:43,982
here I am talking to myself in the dark.
78
00:04:51,593 --> 00:04:53,361
But also,
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00:04:53,362 --> 00:04:56,540
there's something weird going on
80
00:04:56,541 --> 00:05:01,036
that I feel I need to document.
81
00:05:04,477 --> 00:05:06,152
I've been having this nightmare,
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00:05:06,153 --> 00:05:08,416
the same one over and over,
83
00:05:08,417 --> 00:05:10,772
two or three times a
week for the past month.
84
00:05:10,773 --> 00:05:11,819
MAN: No!
85
00:05:11,820 --> 00:05:14,060
[Ulysses Voiceover] And it's
so vivid and freakishly real
86
00:05:14,084 --> 00:05:17,732
that when I wake up, it's still
there hovering over me like
87
00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:19,690
it's not just a dream,
88
00:05:19,691 --> 00:05:22,911
like it's trying to tell me something.
89
00:05:22,912 --> 00:05:26,301
Maybe smoke a smidge
less pot before bedtime?
90
00:05:26,302 --> 00:05:27,609
Carly, I'm being serious.
91
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:29,523
Don't you ever get bizarre premonitions?
92
00:05:30,256 --> 00:05:33,922
- No.
- Well, I do and I'm a double Scorpio.
93
00:05:33,923 --> 00:05:35,737
It's the most psychic of all the signs.
94
00:05:35,738 --> 00:05:39,057
And I've had premonitions
before, but this is different.
95
00:05:39,058 --> 00:05:42,312
It's like we're teetering on the
brink of total annihilation.
96
00:05:42,313 --> 00:05:45,664
CARLY: Okay, well, that's
every fucking day now
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00:05:45,665 --> 00:05:48,366
in this tragic shit show
era we're living in.
98
00:05:48,367 --> 00:05:51,605
But anyway, are you still
cyber-stalking that guy?
99
00:05:51,606 --> 00:05:53,234
- Gabriel.
- Mm.
100
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:56,570
Yeah. We were supposed to
hang out last night, but...
101
00:05:56,571 --> 00:05:59,753
Oh, let me guess, he flaked.
102
00:06:00,689 --> 00:06:05,715
Hey, look, this guy's a
gnarly 300-pound catfish.
103
00:06:05,716 --> 00:06:07,676
That's why I've been pushing
to meet in real life.
104
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:08,798
Look, check it out.
105
00:06:08,799 --> 00:06:11,713
- Oh. He is pretty.
- Right?
106
00:06:11,714 --> 00:06:15,021
I know it sounds hokey, but I just get
this vibe that we're destined to be.
107
00:06:15,022 --> 00:06:17,053
Okay, double Scorpio.
108
00:06:17,054 --> 00:06:20,142
Honestly, just looking at him
makes me dizzy and hard.
109
00:06:20,143 --> 00:06:21,839
You know, when I first met Jethro,
110
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,407
seeing him sneeze would make me cum,
111
00:06:24,408 --> 00:06:27,279
but now, like uh, last night,
in the middle of fucking,
112
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:33,429
Jethro leans in and for some
ungodly reason, whispers...
113
00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:35,287
Mm, teach me, baby, teach me.
114
00:06:35,288 --> 00:06:36,642
- What?
- [Jethro moans]
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00:06:36,643 --> 00:06:37,662
Teach me!
116
00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,639
Is that something you
got from a bad porno?
117
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:40,989
Oh, come on, baby!
118
00:06:40,990 --> 00:06:42,907
Yeah, teach me how to drive you wild!
119
00:06:42,908 --> 00:06:44,268
Yes, baby!
120
00:06:44,269 --> 00:06:45,822
Make me a student!
121
00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:47,734
I'm a vessel for your pleasure!
122
00:06:47,735 --> 00:06:49,016
- [groans]
- Yeah!
123
00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:50,694
Ah, teach me, baby!
124
00:06:50,695 --> 00:06:51,651
- Come on, yeah!
- Can you just slow down
125
00:06:51,652 --> 00:06:52,904
a little bit, please?!
126
00:06:52,905 --> 00:06:54,654
Teach me, baby! Teach me!
127
00:06:54,655 --> 00:06:56,787
- Oh, shit.
- And it gets worse.
128
00:06:56,788 --> 00:07:00,325
He wants me to go to his fucking
meditation class tonight.
129
00:07:00,326 --> 00:07:02,069
But meditating gives you anxiety.
130
00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:03,097
Yeah, I know.
131
00:07:03,098 --> 00:07:06,402
It's so easy for him. His brain,
his natural resting state,
132
00:07:06,403 --> 00:07:09,365
is just a blank void of nothingness.
133
00:07:09,366 --> 00:07:11,715
- [phone buzzes]
- [Carly sighs]
134
00:07:11,716 --> 00:07:13,499
Is it the catfish?
135
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,327
Oh, shit, really? What'd he say?
136
00:07:15,328 --> 00:07:17,199
That he wants to meet tonight.
137
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,811
Okay, well, my advice, set the bar low.
138
00:07:20,812 --> 00:07:23,695
Very low.
139
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:29,820
♪ Sanctify the love
that you crave, crave ♪
140
00:07:29,821 --> 00:07:34,738
♪ Oh, and I won't, and I won't,
and I won't be ashamed ♪
141
00:07:34,739 --> 00:07:37,436
♪ Sanctify my sins when I pray ♪
142
00:07:37,437 --> 00:07:40,892
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
143
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:45,685
- ♪ When I pray ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
144
00:07:46,789 --> 00:07:49,433
♪ You'll find redemption ♪
145
00:07:49,434 --> 00:07:50,635
Hey.
146
00:07:51,467 --> 00:07:52,866
How's the script coming?
147
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:55,628
I've seen you here before.
148
00:07:55,629 --> 00:07:56,830
Oh.
149
00:07:57,784 --> 00:07:59,415
It's going great.
150
00:07:59,416 --> 00:08:01,748
- You a writer too?
- No.
151
00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:03,250
Actually, I'm a producer.
152
00:08:03,251 --> 00:08:06,747
Oh, no shit. Cool.
153
00:08:07,199 --> 00:08:09,526
You should send me one of your scripts.
154
00:08:11,494 --> 00:08:13,733
- For real?
- Yes.
155
00:08:13,734 --> 00:08:17,015
You look like a ambitious,
hardworking young man.
156
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:19,738
Email me.
157
00:08:20,445 --> 00:08:22,133
Oh, wow.
158
00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:25,253
Okay, Mr. Powers.
159
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,252
Please. Barnabas.
160
00:08:31,234 --> 00:08:34,098
Ford. Ford Halstead.
161
00:08:34,099 --> 00:08:36,159
Great to meet you, Ford.
162
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,118
Well, I'll let you get back to work.
163
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,896
Cool! I'll email you.
164
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,091
Looking forward to it.
165
00:08:48,043 --> 00:08:50,590
_
166
00:08:52,125 --> 00:08:53,977
_
167
00:08:54,649 --> 00:08:57,422
_
168
00:08:59,303 --> 00:09:00,632
_
169
00:09:00,633 --> 00:09:03,288
MAN: They keep fucking me.
170
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:06,012
I tell them no,
171
00:09:07,366 --> 00:09:08,943
but they keep fucking me.
172
00:09:08,944 --> 00:09:11,057
They keep fucking me!
173
00:09:11,058 --> 00:09:12,165
Fucking me!
174
00:09:12,966 --> 00:09:14,598
And they won't stop.
175
00:09:18,639 --> 00:09:22,251
Please, make them stop.
176
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,417
Make them stop.
177
00:09:45,935 --> 00:09:47,697
Severine Bordeaux.
178
00:09:47,698 --> 00:09:48,942
[scanner beeps]
179
00:10:09,513 --> 00:10:11,036
Hello, Severine.
180
00:10:12,603 --> 00:10:14,647
Lars. Klaus.
181
00:10:15,622 --> 00:10:17,558
Looks like I didn't miss anything.
182
00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,338
Yes, the man is running late as usual.
183
00:10:20,339 --> 00:10:23,559
I think they keep us waiting on
purpose, to build anticipation.
184
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,415
And to make our work seem even
more highly classified than it is.
185
00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:29,134
Actually, I heard this new assignment
186
00:10:29,135 --> 00:10:31,203
is a genuine priority level one.
187
00:10:31,982 --> 00:10:33,395
Really?
188
00:10:33,396 --> 00:10:34,596
Who told you this?
189
00:10:35,507 --> 00:10:36,616
[Severine sighs]
190
00:10:36,617 --> 00:10:38,740
If I revealed my sources,
191
00:10:38,741 --> 00:10:40,518
I'd have to kill you.
192
00:10:42,232 --> 00:10:44,005
[groans]
193
00:10:47,171 --> 00:10:48,634
I don't know, Uly.
194
00:10:48,635 --> 00:10:51,326
Sometimes a dream is just a dream.
195
00:10:51,327 --> 00:10:54,133
Yeah, but then, but then sometimes,
196
00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:56,562
sometimes it's more.
197
00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,551
Dude, do you remember that time
198
00:10:58,552 --> 00:11:00,683
you were so convinced an
earthquake was coming?
199
00:11:00,684 --> 00:11:02,284
You went out, you bought a bunch of soup
200
00:11:02,308 --> 00:11:04,295
and water and batteries?
201
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:05,508
[laughs]
202
00:11:05,509 --> 00:11:07,098
This is different than that.
203
00:11:07,757 --> 00:11:09,515
Is it?
204
00:11:09,516 --> 00:11:12,564
Anyway, huh, isn't it awesome
what happened today?
205
00:11:12,565 --> 00:11:13,692
What?
206
00:11:13,693 --> 00:11:16,246
That producer gave me his business card.
207
00:11:16,766 --> 00:11:17,948
Oh, right.
208
00:11:17,949 --> 00:11:19,835
So is he... is he for real?
209
00:11:19,836 --> 00:11:21,095
What do you mean?
210
00:11:21,096 --> 00:11:23,009
As in does he have credits?
211
00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:24,515
That, that aren't porn.
212
00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:26,883
Yeah. I already checked.
213
00:11:26,884 --> 00:11:29,494
Just be careful, okay? 'Cause he
could be a serial killer or...
214
00:11:29,495 --> 00:11:31,017
Okay, paranoid.
215
00:11:31,018 --> 00:11:35,152
♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪
216
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:38,590
Hey, so, um, I'm gonna be
a, a little bit behind
217
00:11:38,591 --> 00:11:40,403
on, on the rent again, this month.
218
00:11:40,404 --> 00:11:42,986
Ah, no big. I got it.
219
00:11:42,987 --> 00:11:45,498
I know, I just, I don't wanna be a scab.
220
00:11:45,499 --> 00:11:47,091
Hey, I said don't worry about it.
221
00:11:47,092 --> 00:11:49,558
It was my idea to move to
Cali in the first place.
222
00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:51,821
Plus, I'm the one with the
rich parents, so whatevs.
223
00:11:51,822 --> 00:11:53,649
[Ford chuckles]
224
00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:56,260
Seriously, bro, man, I'm just so glad
225
00:11:56,261 --> 00:11:57,957
we're out here together.
226
00:11:57,958 --> 00:12:01,186
You and me, man, living the dream!
227
00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:03,801
[laughs]
228
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:05,557
[sighs]
229
00:12:07,431 --> 00:12:08,707
You know what I mean?
230
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:11,386
[ethereal music]
231
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,981
Know what?
232
00:12:21,982 --> 00:12:23,970
Why don't we cut the bullshit
233
00:12:24,594 --> 00:12:27,181
and go over into those
bushes over there and fuck?
234
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:30,686
[snapping]
235
00:12:30,687 --> 00:12:32,063
- You all right?
- Yeah.
236
00:12:32,755 --> 00:12:33,993
Yup.
237
00:12:33,994 --> 00:12:35,473
You stoned or something?
238
00:12:35,474 --> 00:12:37,206
[chuckles]
239
00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:40,153
- You ready to head back down?
- Yeah, yeah.
240
00:12:40,154 --> 00:12:41,137
- All right.
- Mm-hm.
241
00:12:41,138 --> 00:12:42,377
I'll race you to the bottom.
242
00:12:42,378 --> 00:12:43,451
Mm-hm.
243
00:12:44,371 --> 00:12:45,439
Mm-hm.
244
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,466
["Gosh" by Jamie xx]
245
00:12:52,992 --> 00:12:55,081
You home already? I thought
you had a coffee date.
246
00:12:56,866 --> 00:12:58,322
[Amber sighs]
247
00:12:58,323 --> 00:13:01,979
I did. I barely sat down
and the guy asked me if
248
00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:03,435
I would rim him.
249
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,636
- Oh.
- Hmm.
250
00:13:07,637 --> 00:13:09,603
What are you doing?
251
00:13:09,604 --> 00:13:12,752
Just memorizing my lines
for acting class tomorrow.
252
00:13:13,779 --> 00:13:17,254
I feel like guys on Tinder
are so used to getting sex
253
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:18,975
that they don't even
make an effort anymore.
254
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,737
Like, this one guy, he
sent me the martini emoji,
255
00:13:21,738 --> 00:13:25,044
then the eggplant, then just
expected me to fuck him.
256
00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:26,444
Maybe he was foreign?
257
00:13:26,944 --> 00:13:30,441
I've just encountered a
lot of assholes on there.
258
00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:32,060
It's a numbers game.
259
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,053
I mean, you have a lot of asshole dick,
260
00:13:34,054 --> 00:13:37,239
but you also have dick
of every other kind too.
261
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:40,956
Yeah, I know, which is like
dicks flying at me 24/7.
262
00:13:40,957 --> 00:13:42,490
Exactly.
263
00:13:43,369 --> 00:13:45,456
I don't know, I might delete it.
264
00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:49,199
Maybe it's true, you can't
find romance through a screen.
265
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,245
That is something that old people say
266
00:13:51,246 --> 00:13:53,769
because they resent the fact
that we don't have to go
267
00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:56,554
and troll gross bars
for sex like they did.
268
00:13:56,555 --> 00:13:58,252
Let me see your profile.
269
00:13:58,253 --> 00:13:59,885
Come here.
270
00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:10,200
You look like you're
hosting a reality show
271
00:14:10,201 --> 00:14:14,187
called Extreme Brunch, or something.
272
00:14:15,074 --> 00:14:19,925
Do you have like, any photos
of you wearing less clothing?
273
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:24,100
Like, like showing less personality?
274
00:14:26,107 --> 00:14:29,892
Pretty cool that producer
coming up to me today, huh?
275
00:14:29,893 --> 00:14:31,705
Yeah, incredible.
276
00:14:31,706 --> 00:14:34,202
Yeah, it's like I've only
been out here six months
277
00:14:34,203 --> 00:14:36,899
and things are already
starting to happen for me.
278
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:38,683
[sighs] So, Sev.
279
00:14:38,684 --> 00:14:39,979
Mm-hmm?
280
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,557
We've been seeing each other a while now
281
00:14:42,558 --> 00:14:47,217
and I was wondering if...
282
00:14:48,078 --> 00:14:50,275
it was cool that I called
you my girlfriend.
283
00:14:50,892 --> 00:14:52,654
You can call me whatever you want.
284
00:14:52,655 --> 00:14:54,743
I'm not precious about the terminology.
285
00:14:54,744 --> 00:14:57,530
Okay, so uh, we're like,
286
00:14:58,573 --> 00:15:00,030
exclusive, then?
287
00:15:00,031 --> 00:15:02,232
Ford, we've discussed this.
288
00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:03,752
You know I believe that monogamy
289
00:15:03,753 --> 00:15:05,449
is a form of social control,
290
00:15:05,450 --> 00:15:07,397
which is contrary to our nature.
291
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:09,316
What?
292
00:15:09,317 --> 00:15:11,934
For centuries, humans
migrated in egalitarian
293
00:15:11,935 --> 00:15:14,948
hunter-gatherer groups
and shared everything,
294
00:15:14,949 --> 00:15:18,157
food, childcare, sexual partners.
295
00:15:18,158 --> 00:15:19,942
They were very promiscuous
296
00:15:19,943 --> 00:15:22,161
and it strengthened their relationships,
297
00:15:22,162 --> 00:15:23,902
but then agriculture came along
298
00:15:23,903 --> 00:15:25,687
and people became obsessed
299
00:15:25,688 --> 00:15:28,187
with ownership and private property.
300
00:15:28,974 --> 00:15:30,370
Oh, when was that?
301
00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:33,395
About 10,000 years ago.
302
00:15:33,870 --> 00:15:35,241
Oh.
303
00:15:36,243 --> 00:15:37,505
Is this uh...
304
00:15:37,995 --> 00:15:40,975
Is this about me not being
smart enough for you?
305
00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:44,270
I know you're a rocket scientist and...
306
00:15:44,271 --> 00:15:46,142
Astrobiological theorist.
307
00:15:46,143 --> 00:15:47,883
And no, Ford,
308
00:15:47,884 --> 00:15:50,538
I actually think you're extraordinary.
309
00:15:50,539 --> 00:15:54,565
Plus, you have the world's
most magnificent cock.
310
00:15:56,741 --> 00:15:57,780
Thanks.
311
00:15:57,781 --> 00:16:00,156
It's so magnificent, in fact,
312
00:16:00,157 --> 00:16:02,609
I'd feel guilty keeping
it all to myself.
313
00:16:02,610 --> 00:16:04,900
Modern relationships don't last
314
00:16:04,901 --> 00:16:07,859
because we expect too
much of our partners.
315
00:16:07,860 --> 00:16:10,338
They need to fulfill us emotionally,
316
00:16:10,339 --> 00:16:12,386
satisfy us sexually.
317
00:16:12,387 --> 00:16:15,254
That's a lot to ask of one person.
318
00:16:15,255 --> 00:16:20,112
Besides, future holds so
much chaos and uncertainty.
319
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:23,264
We must relish our
freedom while it lasts.
320
00:16:24,265 --> 00:16:27,708
- Uh, what?
- Nothing.
321
00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:34,228
If you're saying what I
think it is you're saying,
322
00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:38,629
if you, you know, um,
if you want to give
323
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:42,139
the open relationship thing a try,
324
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:45,210
I'm down.
325
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:48,992
Really?
326
00:16:48,993 --> 00:16:51,034
You're not just saying
that to make me happy?
327
00:16:51,934 --> 00:16:54,986
You know I have difficulties
reading social cues.
328
00:16:57,105 --> 00:16:58,305
I mean it.
329
00:17:02,707 --> 00:17:05,206
Okay, now pretend like you're laughing
330
00:17:05,207 --> 00:17:07,745
at a cute guy over there being funny.
331
00:17:07,746 --> 00:17:10,139
But why am I wearing a
bikini in the living room?
332
00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:12,184
No one is thinking about that, Amber.
333
00:17:12,185 --> 00:17:15,227
This is literally just about
assessing your genetics.
334
00:17:17,387 --> 00:17:18,800
- [laughs]
- Oh, my God, okay,
335
00:17:18,801 --> 00:17:20,367
he's not, he's not like, that funny.
336
00:17:20,368 --> 00:17:23,100
- He's amusing.
- Okay.
337
00:17:24,046 --> 00:17:25,110
[chuckles]
338
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:27,712
He's mildly amusing.
339
00:17:29,573 --> 00:17:30,773
- [camera snaps]
- Perfect.
340
00:17:34,926 --> 00:17:36,557
I look mean.
341
00:17:36,558 --> 00:17:38,384
No, you look confused.
342
00:17:38,385 --> 00:17:39,734
You look hot and confused.
343
00:17:39,735 --> 00:17:41,605
That's the ideal combination.
344
00:17:41,606 --> 00:17:42,737
- What?
- [phone rings]
345
00:17:42,738 --> 00:17:46,183
Oh, sorry. Hey.
346
00:17:46,184 --> 00:17:48,133
Oh, my God, are you watching it?
347
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:50,413
- Watching what?
- Murderous Minds.
348
00:17:50,414 --> 00:17:52,050
I told you, my episode's on tonight.
349
00:17:52,051 --> 00:17:53,443
Oh, uh, shit!
350
00:17:53,444 --> 00:17:54,749
Oh, my God, that's right, babe!
351
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:56,248
I totally forgot!
352
00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:58,013
That's so exciting!
353
00:17:58,014 --> 00:18:00,102
Fuck, Carly!
354
00:18:00,103 --> 00:18:01,538
Hope you didn't miss me.
355
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:02,739
I've gotta set the DVR.
356
00:18:04,913 --> 00:18:06,804
- What's happening now?
- What do you mean?
357
00:18:06,805 --> 00:18:09,389
JETHRO: On the show, Jesus!
358
00:18:09,390 --> 00:18:12,462
Um, it, it looks like two cops
359
00:18:12,463 --> 00:18:15,030
are investigating like, a crime scene.
360
00:18:15,031 --> 00:18:17,798
Okay, shit, you're just
in time. It's my scene.
361
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,428
What's happening now?
362
00:18:22,429 --> 00:18:24,174
They just zipped some
guy into a body bag.
363
00:18:24,175 --> 00:18:25,399
Yes!
364
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,771
[grunts]
365
00:18:28,589 --> 00:18:30,188
Was that you?
366
00:18:30,189 --> 00:18:32,305
Uh yeah, what, couldn't you tell?
367
00:18:32,306 --> 00:18:35,657
No, you were amazing.
368
00:18:35,658 --> 00:18:37,695
Ah, I'm sure.
369
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:39,587
Was I?
370
00:18:39,588 --> 00:18:40,795
Mm-hm.
371
00:18:40,796 --> 00:18:43,322
Yeah, you, you were great, Jethro.
372
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,696
Oh, hey, Amber's there! Amber!
373
00:18:45,697 --> 00:18:49,132
- She uh, she see me too?
- Yup, she did.
374
00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:54,281
And uh, she thought you
were uh, very believable.
375
00:18:54,282 --> 00:18:57,825
14 fucking million
people watch that show.
376
00:18:57,826 --> 00:18:59,727
It's like I'm always telling you, Carly,
377
00:18:59,728 --> 00:19:01,350
it's about connecting the dots
378
00:19:01,351 --> 00:19:04,224
and maintaining a positive attitude.
379
00:19:04,924 --> 00:19:06,684
Which is why I really
wish you'd come with me
380
00:19:06,708 --> 00:19:07,880
to meditation class tonight.
381
00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:09,795
Yeah, I know, babe, but I told you,
382
00:19:09,796 --> 00:19:12,058
I need to work on my scene
for class tomorrow.
383
00:19:12,059 --> 00:19:15,932
Yeah, well, Car, the road to
failure is paved with excuses.
384
00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:17,716
[phone beeping]
385
00:19:17,717 --> 00:19:19,674
Hey, babe, can we continue this later?
386
00:19:19,675 --> 00:19:22,416
Uly's on the other line,
probably having a crisis.
387
00:19:22,417 --> 00:19:23,931
I'm almost to work anyway.
388
00:19:23,932 --> 00:19:25,846
Just wanted to share my
moment of glory with ya.
389
00:19:25,847 --> 00:19:27,175
You were awesome, babe.
390
00:19:27,176 --> 00:19:30,207
Thanks, I'll swing by after
work for another lesson.
391
00:19:30,208 --> 00:19:32,356
Great. Okay, see ya.
392
00:19:33,413 --> 00:19:36,517
- Hey.
- Gabriel is 43 fucking minutes late.
393
00:19:36,518 --> 00:19:39,342
Like I said, low bar.
394
00:19:39,343 --> 00:19:41,591
What should I do now? Should I leave?
395
00:19:41,592 --> 00:19:45,198
[chuckles] Are you kidding? You lost
all your dignity like, 28 minutes ago.
396
00:19:45,199 --> 00:19:47,531
I know. Am I tragic?
397
00:19:47,532 --> 00:19:48,921
Don't, don't answer that.
398
00:19:48,922 --> 00:19:50,400
I was really hoping to, you know,
399
00:19:50,401 --> 00:19:52,390
finally solve the mystery of, oh, shit.
400
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,284
- CARLY: What? Is he there?
- Yeah.
401
00:19:54,285 --> 00:19:56,547
- I'll call you back.
- Okay, bye!
402
00:19:58,208 --> 00:20:02,111
Ulysses. Oh, man, I am so sorry.
403
00:20:02,112 --> 00:20:03,912
You must think that I'm
the hugest flake ever,
404
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,578
but class got out late, Waze
sent me to the wrong address,
405
00:20:06,579 --> 00:20:08,899
- and, and my phone died...
- It's, it's okay, it's okay...
406
00:20:08,923 --> 00:20:10,351
Don't worry about it.
407
00:20:10,352 --> 00:20:12,597
Seriously though, I'm big
on first impressions
408
00:20:12,598 --> 00:20:15,308
and I feel so fucking bad.
409
00:20:16,141 --> 00:20:17,792
Well, you're here now, right?
410
00:20:18,474 --> 00:20:19,756
That's, that's all that matters.
411
00:20:19,757 --> 00:20:21,040
Yeah.
412
00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:23,544
[upbeat music]
413
00:20:26,939 --> 00:20:30,725
["Diamond Veins" by French 79]
414
00:20:49,266 --> 00:20:54,734
♪ Blood felt, joy of life ♪
415
00:20:56,273 --> 00:20:57,291
Whoa.
416
00:20:57,292 --> 00:20:59,231
Holy crap, baby.
417
00:20:59,232 --> 00:21:00,471
[Carly chuckles]
418
00:21:00,472 --> 00:21:02,865
Hey, Smokey. You miss me?
419
00:21:02,866 --> 00:21:04,076
Sure did.
420
00:21:04,077 --> 00:21:06,564
I want to drink you up
like a piña colada.
421
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:11,438
Good, because I've been
a really bad girl.
422
00:21:11,439 --> 00:21:13,658
- [loud slap]
- [gasps] Ooh!
423
00:21:13,659 --> 00:21:15,747
- [loud slap]
- Ah!
424
00:21:15,748 --> 00:21:17,183
- [loud slap]
- [moans]
425
00:21:17,184 --> 00:21:19,920
NERD: I really want to get
to know you, the real you.
426
00:21:19,921 --> 00:21:22,203
Are you sure you just
don't want me to like,
427
00:21:22,204 --> 00:21:23,612
finger myself or something?
428
00:21:23,613 --> 00:21:25,303
Could we just talk first?
429
00:21:26,019 --> 00:21:28,414
Like, what do you like most
about being a cam girl?
430
00:21:29,327 --> 00:21:34,787
Well, I uh, I have always wanted
a job I could do lying down.
431
00:21:34,788 --> 00:21:35,989
Hm.
432
00:21:36,966 --> 00:21:38,311
Show me!
433
00:21:38,312 --> 00:21:40,850
Show me, you deviant little whore.
434
00:21:40,851 --> 00:21:42,992
You're so pitiful and weak!
435
00:21:42,993 --> 00:21:45,184
Just looking at you makes me sick.
436
00:21:45,185 --> 00:21:47,039
Get on your knees!
437
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:51,261
Damn. I so wish I hadn't scheduled
band practice for tonight.
438
00:21:51,262 --> 00:21:53,741
Ah, it, it's cool.
439
00:21:53,742 --> 00:21:55,395
It's just that a couple of weeks ago,
440
00:21:55,396 --> 00:21:57,963
I, I declared this embargo on hookups.
441
00:21:57,964 --> 00:21:59,922
I mean, you know they're fun, obviously,
442
00:21:59,923 --> 00:22:05,340
but I always just feel, well,
gross and pagan after.
443
00:22:05,341 --> 00:22:07,691
Yeah, no, uh, I know what you mean.
444
00:22:08,621 --> 00:22:10,715
So I, I made sure to make plans
445
00:22:10,716 --> 00:22:13,805
so that no matter how hot you were,
446
00:22:13,806 --> 00:22:17,630
I, you know, would have
to restrain myself.
447
00:22:19,443 --> 00:22:21,798
No, it's, it's okay, I totally get it.
448
00:22:24,361 --> 00:22:26,180
We can hang out soon
again, though, right?
449
00:22:26,852 --> 00:22:28,026
Definitely.
450
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,822
- Oh, shit!
- What? What?
451
00:22:30,823 --> 00:22:33,868
I fucking forgot to charge my phone!
452
00:22:33,869 --> 00:22:38,022
I got so distracted, I can't
even text my band mates now.
453
00:22:38,549 --> 00:22:39,749
That sucks.
454
00:22:40,397 --> 00:22:44,633
I guess we'll jus... we'll
just have to hang out
455
00:22:47,079 --> 00:22:49,841
again soon...
456
00:22:49,842 --> 00:22:54,521
- [car horn honking]
- [men shouting]
457
00:22:57,350 --> 00:22:58,589
Come on.
458
00:22:58,590 --> 00:23:01,354
[gentle music]
459
00:23:06,881 --> 00:23:08,425
No, wait.
460
00:23:08,426 --> 00:23:09,774
- What?
- [sighs]
461
00:23:10,950 --> 00:23:12,583
I'm not blowing this, am I?
462
00:23:13,584 --> 00:23:14,855
What do you, what do you mean?
463
00:23:15,651 --> 00:23:17,738
Well, I'm gonna see you again, right?
464
00:23:17,739 --> 00:23:19,419
I mean, I'm not fucking
this up doing this?
465
00:23:19,443 --> 00:23:21,846
No, no, no, you're not fucking this up.
466
00:23:22,216 --> 00:23:25,631
Good, 'cause I seriously cannot
control myself right now.
467
00:23:28,519 --> 00:23:30,082
Handjobs only, though?
468
00:23:30,622 --> 00:23:31,822
What?
469
00:23:32,342 --> 00:23:33,865
For tonight, just handjobs?
470
00:23:34,902 --> 00:23:36,208
And save the rest for later?
471
00:23:36,869 --> 00:23:38,587
Yeah. Yeah.
472
00:23:38,974 --> 00:23:40,368
Okay, we need to hurry, though,
473
00:23:40,369 --> 00:23:42,821
'cause I literally only have
like, two minutes, okay?
474
00:23:46,399 --> 00:23:48,414
Oh, yeah, you like that, Worm?
475
00:23:48,415 --> 00:23:51,411
WORM: Mm-hm. Can you wiggle them?
476
00:23:51,412 --> 00:23:52,730
Like this, you mean?
477
00:23:52,731 --> 00:23:55,820
Yeah, keep wiggling. Keep wiggling.
478
00:23:55,821 --> 00:23:57,141
Worm, you know you need to ask me
479
00:23:57,165 --> 00:23:59,188
more respectfully than that.
480
00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:02,352
Please. Please wiggle your toes for me.
481
00:24:02,353 --> 00:24:03,611
CARLY: Much better.
482
00:24:04,171 --> 00:24:06,165
Hell yeah.
483
00:24:06,166 --> 00:24:07,484
Keep wiggling.
484
00:24:08,205 --> 00:24:10,142
More, more wiggle.
485
00:24:10,451 --> 00:24:11,923
Oh, God. [moans]
486
00:24:11,924 --> 00:24:13,470
[both moaning]
487
00:24:16,676 --> 00:24:17,920
- Oh!
- God!
488
00:24:17,921 --> 00:24:20,279
Oh, oh, oh fuck!
489
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,368
[groaning]
490
00:24:22,369 --> 00:24:24,631
- Oh!
- Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!
491
00:24:24,632 --> 00:24:27,199
[both groan]
492
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,964
[all groaning]
493
00:24:39,409 --> 00:24:41,846
[both panting]
494
00:24:42,244 --> 00:24:43,444
Fuck.
495
00:24:47,384 --> 00:24:49,306
MAGENTA: What can I
do for you, Mistress?
496
00:24:49,854 --> 00:24:51,115
I'm here to please you.
497
00:24:51,116 --> 00:24:52,575
I'll do anything you want.
498
00:24:54,511 --> 00:24:58,056
How about you do 30 naked pushups?
499
00:24:58,057 --> 00:24:59,971
Would that make Mistress happy?
500
00:24:59,972 --> 00:25:01,538
To be honest, no.
501
00:25:01,539 --> 00:25:03,627
I just... I don't really care.
502
00:25:03,628 --> 00:25:05,830
Well, what would make you truly happy?
503
00:25:05,831 --> 00:25:07,333
I'm here to serve you.
504
00:25:09,003 --> 00:25:10,203
Really?
505
00:25:12,311 --> 00:25:15,813
Do you want to run lines
with me for my acting class
506
00:25:15,814 --> 00:25:17,945
'cause I have to memorize
all these by tomorrow.
507
00:25:17,946 --> 00:25:20,252
Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that one.
508
00:25:20,253 --> 00:25:22,036
But you said you would do anything.
509
00:25:22,037 --> 00:25:23,690
Well, I know, but...
510
00:25:23,691 --> 00:25:25,170
Well, okay, well, what if I like,
511
00:25:25,171 --> 00:25:26,389
take my top off while I do it?
512
00:25:26,390 --> 00:25:27,433
Okay, sure.
513
00:25:27,434 --> 00:25:29,305
Cool. Great.
514
00:25:29,306 --> 00:25:30,436
Okay.
515
00:25:30,437 --> 00:25:34,875
So, you're Anne,
516
00:25:34,876 --> 00:25:37,011
and I'm Mary, okay?
517
00:25:38,207 --> 00:25:39,407
Okay.
518
00:25:41,340 --> 00:25:45,451
Do you feel as awful as you look?
519
00:25:45,452 --> 00:25:48,672
Why would you come here if all
you wanted to do was torment me?
520
00:25:48,673 --> 00:25:50,152
Hey, you're good.
521
00:25:50,153 --> 00:25:51,718
Hey!
522
00:25:51,719 --> 00:25:52,980
- [snaps]
- Stay in character!
523
00:25:52,981 --> 00:25:54,025
Next line.
524
00:25:54,026 --> 00:25:55,226
ULYSSES: Wow.
525
00:25:59,053 --> 00:26:00,988
That was kind of intense.
526
00:26:00,989 --> 00:26:02,190
Yeah.
527
00:26:02,753 --> 00:26:04,929
[panting]
528
00:26:10,021 --> 00:26:12,086
Seriously, I mean what was that?
529
00:26:12,087 --> 00:26:13,927
Was it, was it just me
or did, did it feel like
530
00:26:13,951 --> 00:26:17,109
the universe collapsed in on
itself for a second there?
531
00:26:17,110 --> 00:26:18,311
No, I felt it too.
532
00:26:20,379 --> 00:26:21,859
I'm almost afraid to see what happens
533
00:26:21,883 --> 00:26:23,705
when we actually have sex.
534
00:26:24,905 --> 00:26:28,494
Look, I, I realize that we just met
535
00:26:28,495 --> 00:26:32,585
and I, I don't want to sound too
psycho stalkery or anything,
536
00:26:32,586 --> 00:26:38,168
but something strange seems
to be going on here.
537
00:26:39,746 --> 00:26:41,551
Yeah.
538
00:26:41,552 --> 00:26:44,458
Yeah, I mean, it sort of...
it sort of feels like
539
00:26:45,535 --> 00:26:46,735
- fate.
- Fate.
540
00:26:52,368 --> 00:26:54,288
But I got to go, my band
mates are gonna kill me.
541
00:26:54,312 --> 00:26:56,087
Right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay.
542
00:26:56,088 --> 00:26:58,718
So uh, so when do I get to see you next?
543
00:26:59,313 --> 00:27:01,236
Well, whenever. I mean, whenever you...
544
00:27:01,237 --> 00:27:04,205
- How about tomorrow?
- Tomorrow's great.
545
00:27:05,118 --> 00:27:06,318
Cool.
546
00:27:07,339 --> 00:27:08,539
Oh, fuck.
547
00:27:13,084 --> 00:27:15,324
Okay, shit.
548
00:27:15,325 --> 00:27:16,338
Now I really got to go.
549
00:27:16,339 --> 00:27:18,655
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
550
00:27:19,873 --> 00:27:22,485
[gentle music]
551
00:27:38,892 --> 00:27:41,317
Holy fucking shit!
552
00:27:42,961 --> 00:27:43,961
- [loud crash]
- [yelps]
553
00:27:43,962 --> 00:27:45,162
[loud thud]
554
00:27:49,163 --> 00:27:50,984
Ow!
555
00:28:19,803 --> 00:28:22,782
[ethereal music]
556
00:28:22,783 --> 00:28:24,329
Help me!
557
00:28:26,070 --> 00:28:27,637
Please!
558
00:28:34,774 --> 00:28:35,974
Please, help me!
559
00:28:38,367 --> 00:28:39,567
No!
560
00:28:40,824 --> 00:28:42,454
Oh, God!
561
00:28:42,455 --> 00:28:44,828
No! No!
562
00:28:47,869 --> 00:28:49,595
[groaning]
563
00:28:51,617 --> 00:28:53,576
[groaning]
564
00:28:56,935 --> 00:28:58,328
Oh, God, no!
565
00:28:59,712 --> 00:29:00,912
No!
566
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:08,920
No!
567
00:29:09,896 --> 00:29:11,096
Help me!
568
00:29:12,464 --> 00:29:13,746
Please!
569
00:29:13,747 --> 00:29:14,791
Help me!
570
00:29:14,792 --> 00:29:15,792
[hisses loudly]
571
00:29:15,793 --> 00:29:17,577
[screams]
572
00:29:17,578 --> 00:29:23,739
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
573
00:29:33,746 --> 00:29:37,640
♪ Give it away now, girl ♪
574
00:29:37,641 --> 00:29:40,753
♪ Can't hold ♪
39729
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