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1
00:00:02,014 --> 00:00:04,525
Okay, folks, you might want
to put on some sunscreen.
2
00:00:04,568 --> 00:00:07,675
Up this high,
the trees start to thin out.
3
00:00:07,718 --> 00:00:09,208
Oh, this might be
a good place for a picture.
4
00:00:09,250 --> 00:00:10,314
Oh, let me go behind that rock.
5
00:00:10,357 --> 00:00:11,720
I'll change into my next look.
6
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:12,784
Another one?
7
00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:15,124
He has to.
His Instagram follower demands it.
8
00:00:15,167 --> 00:00:15,976
Eagle!
9
00:00:16,018 --> 00:00:17,466
Oh, wait, false alarm.
10
00:00:17,509 --> 00:00:18,999
It's just a plastic bag in a tree.
11
00:00:19,041 --> 00:00:19,764
Eagle!
12
00:00:19,807 --> 00:00:21,254
Nope. Sorry.
13
00:00:21,297 --> 00:00:22,319
Bag fell.
14
00:00:23,596 --> 00:00:24,703
Every winter,
15
00:00:24,745 --> 00:00:27,043
I take a bird-watching
trip with my buddies...
16
00:00:27,086 --> 00:00:29,001
specifically to see a bald eagle.
17
00:00:29,045 --> 00:00:30,789
So far, no luck.
18
00:00:30,832 --> 00:00:34,153
This year, my buddies bailed...
back spasm, cracked hip.
19
00:00:34,195 --> 00:00:37,047
And I'm the idiot for
installing a shower chair.
20
00:00:37,090 --> 00:00:38,792
I was all set to go solo,
21
00:00:38,835 --> 00:00:41,517
when those three tagalongs
invited themselves.
22
00:00:41,559 --> 00:00:43,092
They invaded my territory
23
00:00:43,135 --> 00:00:45,646
like a bunch of bay-breasted warblers.
24
00:00:45,689 --> 00:00:47,860
Darned if I didn't feel
like a bay-breasted warbler
25
00:00:47,902 --> 00:00:51,350
horning in on Jay's trip,
but Gloria made us go.
26
00:00:51,393 --> 00:00:52,840
She was worried about my dad
27
00:00:52,883 --> 00:00:54,756
being out in the woods alone at his age,
28
00:00:54,799 --> 00:00:57,394
so she... she gently
nudged us to join him.
29
00:00:57,437 --> 00:00:59,991
Gloria, if my dad doesn't want us t...
30
00:01:00,034 --> 00:01:01,979
Hey, Dad, uh,
whatcha doin' this weekend?
31
00:01:02,074 --> 00:01:04,674
- Ah, little nature trip.
- Oh! Sounds like fun.
32
00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:05,568
- Count us in!
- Yes.
33
00:01:05,610 --> 00:01:07,483
Actually, I was looking
for a little alone time...
34
00:01:07,527 --> 00:01:11,059
Hey! Am I the only one with
bald eagles on the brain?
35
00:01:11,890 --> 00:01:13,401
You know what?
I think in about 10 minutes,
36
00:01:13,443 --> 00:01:16,635
the light's gonna be perfect for my
"Afternoon Adventurer" look.
37
00:01:16,678 --> 00:01:18,722
Okay, uh, before we head
deeper into the woods,
38
00:01:18,764 --> 00:01:22,127
I should warn you folks that there's
been several bear sightings in the area.
39
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:24,426
- So if you happen to have any food with you...
- Got it!
40
00:01:27,278 --> 00:01:30,896
I was going to say you can store
it in this bear box... here.
41
00:01:30,939 --> 00:01:31,918
Oh. Um, okay.
42
00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:33,493
Well, then, talk amongst yourselves.
43
00:01:33,535 --> 00:01:34,940
It could take me a while
44
00:01:34,982 --> 00:01:37,026
to find where my manly
heave sent that heavy...
45
00:01:37,069 --> 00:01:39,197
Ah! Here it is.
Someone must've heaved it back.
46
00:01:39,239 --> 00:01:40,346
Thank you!
47
00:01:54,185 --> 00:01:55,374
Hello!
48
00:01:55,450 --> 00:01:57,846
Oh, hey, Gloria. Thanks for coming.
49
00:01:57,888 --> 00:01:59,124
It's gonna be such a fun girls' night...
50
00:01:59,166 --> 00:02:01,805
drinking wine, planning the nursery.
51
00:02:01,848 --> 00:02:03,082
Okay, I was going to surprise you,
52
00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:05,934
but I can't wait anymore.
53
00:02:05,977 --> 00:02:09,765
It's a handmade mobile
of great women in history!
54
00:02:09,808 --> 00:02:11,298
Eleanor Roosevelt,
55
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,149
Rosa Parks!
56
00:02:12,192 --> 00:02:13,171
Ohh!
57
00:02:13,213 --> 00:02:15,768
I just hope it goes with the theme
that Dylan wants for the room.
58
00:02:15,810 --> 00:02:17,513
Are any of these women
important in the fields
59
00:02:17,556 --> 00:02:19,428
of fire trucks or unicorns?
60
00:02:19,471 --> 00:02:20,254
Oh!
61
00:02:20,297 --> 00:02:22,213
How perfect is this?
62
00:02:22,256 --> 00:02:26,895
They delivered the crib,
and I know just the crew of handy honeys
63
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,257
to help me put it together.
64
00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:30,130
Uh, not now, Mom.
I've had the worst day.
65
00:02:30,173 --> 00:02:31,109
Me, too.
66
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,302
Quick, start crying.
67
00:02:32,344 --> 00:02:34,260
We need to derail her
enthusiasm before she's...
68
00:02:34,302 --> 00:02:36,005
Unh! Too late.
69
00:02:36,048 --> 00:02:37,239
She's dancing.
70
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,452
Way to rock it, girlfriend!
71
00:02:40,389 --> 00:02:42,262
I cannot deny it anymore.
72
00:02:42,304 --> 00:02:45,029
I am turning into a white woman.
73
00:02:47,594 --> 00:02:49,583
Is there a problem, girlfriends?
74
00:02:49,626 --> 00:02:51,031
Spin class was canceled!
75
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:52,436
No!
76
00:02:52,479 --> 00:02:54,223
What are we gonna do with our day?
77
00:02:54,266 --> 00:02:55,671
"When In Doubt...
78
00:02:55,714 --> 00:02:56,693
Brunch."
79
00:02:56,735 --> 00:02:58,225
Where's the nearest
place that serves kale
80
00:02:58,268 --> 00:03:00,098
and also has a pun in its name?
81
00:03:00,141 --> 00:03:02,354
There's an Underground
Kale-Road down the street!
82
00:03:02,397 --> 00:03:04,653
- Let's go!
- Thank God.
83
00:03:04,696 --> 00:03:06,484
I've gotten soft lately.
84
00:03:06,526 --> 00:03:08,739
I think I've lost my Colombian edge.
85
00:03:08,782 --> 00:03:11,251
I think we'll all feel better
if we accomplish something.
86
00:03:11,294 --> 00:03:12,400
Yes. Unlike Jay.
87
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:16,146
He's been going on these
hunting trips for 20 years,
88
00:03:16,189 --> 00:03:19,424
and not once has he
brought home a bald eagle!
89
00:03:24,149 --> 00:03:24,958
Oh, God.
90
00:03:25,001 --> 00:03:26,491
Hendrix couldn't read music,
91
00:03:26,533 --> 00:03:28,150
Shaq couldn't make free throws,
92
00:03:28,194 --> 00:03:30,917
and I have a little trouble
visualizing space and scale.
93
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,216
So, I think this closet design
gives us everything we need
94
00:03:33,259 --> 00:03:34,792
in a tight, residential space.
95
00:03:34,834 --> 00:03:35,771
Yeah. Very clever.
96
00:03:35,813 --> 00:03:36,962
Take a walk-through.
97
00:03:37,005 --> 00:03:38,878
Does the flow make sense?
98
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:39,814
Well, um...
99
00:03:40,343 --> 00:03:42,241
I would get out of the shower
100
00:03:42,283 --> 00:03:44,795
and throw my clothes in the hamper here,
101
00:03:44,838 --> 00:03:46,327
pick out an outfit,
and then get dressed right here.
102
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,136
You just threw your
clothes in the fireplace
103
00:03:49,179 --> 00:03:50,797
and got dressed in front
of the picture window.
104
00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:54,032
Well, you have
your morning routine, Mia.
105
00:03:54,075 --> 00:03:55,948
I have mine.
106
00:03:56,767 --> 00:03:58,800
All right, let's get this over with.
107
00:03:58,842 --> 00:04:00,333
Mom, where do we start?
108
00:04:00,375 --> 00:04:01,265
Um...
109
00:04:01,294 --> 00:04:04,334
Maybe Mommy just needs
some cougar juice!
110
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,228
What's wrong with me?
111
00:04:08,617 --> 00:04:09,865
Watch your step, folks.
112
00:04:09,902 --> 00:04:12,762
Some of the terrain gets a little
tricky on this part of the hike.
113
00:04:12,804 --> 00:04:13,911
- Oh. Good.
- I thought I'd changed
114
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:16,635
into my "Remote Trailhead"
look too soon.
115
00:04:16,678 --> 00:04:18,594
You okay, Dad?
Want to stop and take a break?
116
00:04:18,637 --> 00:04:20,935
No, no. I just want to stop
and maybe see an eagle.
117
00:04:20,978 --> 00:04:22,255
Everybody look.
118
00:04:25,058 --> 00:04:27,065
You've been doing this for 20
years and never seen one, huh?
119
00:04:27,108 --> 00:04:28,726
Correct. Shh.
120
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,172
Oh.
121
00:04:31,790 --> 00:04:33,621
Yeah. Mother Nature can be a real...
122
00:04:33,663 --> 00:04:35,664
Phil, stop talking!
123
00:04:35,706 --> 00:04:37,239
You're scaring the eagles!
124
00:04:37,281 --> 00:04:39,580
I'm sorry. My bad. My bad.
125
00:04:39,622 --> 00:04:42,347
- Also sorry in my head.
- Oh, my God!
126
00:04:42,390 --> 00:04:44,603
Since we're talking again, uh,
we should start heading back.
127
00:04:44,646 --> 00:04:46,050
It'll be dark soon.
128
00:04:46,093 --> 00:04:48,349
Or, if you'd like,
there's a cabin just up this trail.
129
00:04:48,392 --> 00:04:49,498
It's pretty run-down, but, uh,
130
00:04:49,541 --> 00:04:50,562
you're welcome to spend the night.
131
00:04:50,605 --> 00:04:52,308
- I'll do it.
- Oh.
132
00:04:52,350 --> 00:04:53,840
Are... Are we sure that's a good idea?
133
00:04:53,883 --> 00:04:56,054
Um... wasn't there...
wasn't there mention of bears?
134
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:58,310
No, you go home. I'll stay by myself.
135
00:04:58,353 --> 00:05:00,133
We... We can't let him stay by himself.
136
00:05:00,162 --> 00:05:01,585
We told Gloria we'd keep him safe.
137
00:05:01,652 --> 00:05:03,227
Yeah, if he's staying, we're staying.
138
00:05:03,319 --> 00:05:05,916
Yeah. Yeah. What...
What's the worst that could happen?
139
00:05:05,958 --> 00:05:07,575
I mean, in the movies,
when city folk stay overnight
140
00:05:07,618 --> 00:05:10,385
in abandoned cabins,
things usually pan out okay.
141
00:05:10,427 --> 00:05:12,386
Anyway, I'm gonna run ahead,
see if they have any postcards
142
00:05:12,429 --> 00:05:14,982
up at this poorly guarded
mental institution.
143
00:05:16,727 --> 00:05:18,558
Damn it, I'm starving.
144
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,644
Nothing in here but an
old bottle of whiskey.
145
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:22,602
Well, just try not to think
about how hungry you are
146
00:05:22,645 --> 00:05:24,177
or that Mitchell left
the food in the bear box.
147
00:05:24,219 --> 00:05:26,136
We all left the food in the...
148
00:05:26,178 --> 00:05:26,944
Did you change again?
149
00:05:27,966 --> 00:05:29,328
Yeah, I just threw a few things together
150
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,073
to create a "Rustic Cabin" look.
151
00:05:31,116 --> 00:05:33,627
Well, at least the bears
won't be a concern.
152
00:05:33,670 --> 00:05:34,947
Take it from a Realtor.
153
00:05:34,989 --> 00:05:37,118
This Smith & Wiley lock
is the gold standard.
154
00:05:46,028 --> 00:05:47,717
All right, I think we are now ready
155
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:52,258
to put together our beautiful,
L-shaped crib.
156
00:05:52,301 --> 00:05:54,685
I-I... This can't be right.
One's way bigger.
157
00:05:54,727 --> 00:05:57,154
And what, my babies are supposed
to come and go as they please,
158
00:05:57,197 --> 00:05:58,686
like they're in a halfway house?
159
00:05:58,728 --> 00:06:02,049
Um, so, a minor
misreading of the diagram.
160
00:06:02,092 --> 00:06:05,114
I think we're just gonna need to
swap a short side for a long side.
161
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,391
And in the meantime,
we bent that bracket.
162
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,817
Alex, would you mind running
down to the hardware store?
163
00:06:08,861 --> 00:06:10,137
No way.
164
00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:12,053
I don't trust myself to drive anymore.
165
00:06:12,095 --> 00:06:14,011
I signed up to be the student liaison
166
00:06:14,053 --> 00:06:15,543
for a visiting scholar on campus...
167
00:06:15,586 --> 00:06:17,076
Sir Kenneth Penrose.
168
00:06:17,119 --> 00:06:19,459
Yes, that Sir Kenneth Penrose.
169
00:06:19,502 --> 00:06:21,545
Rock star of the microbiology world.
170
00:06:21,588 --> 00:06:23,163
I know you must hear this a lot,
171
00:06:23,205 --> 00:06:24,908
but you're the reason I took up snooker.
172
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:25,972
Do you still play?
173
00:06:26,015 --> 00:06:27,930
I've had to lay down my cue lately.
174
00:06:27,973 --> 00:06:30,570
I've been working for
months on an Ebola vaccine.
175
00:06:30,612 --> 00:06:32,230
Just moments ago, I had a breakthrough.
176
00:06:32,272 --> 00:06:34,145
I can't wait to get
to the lab and jot...
177
00:06:34,188 --> 00:06:35,466
- Hey!
- Aah!
178
00:06:36,615 --> 00:06:38,530
Whoa! That was my chemistry advisor.
179
00:06:38,573 --> 00:06:40,658
I would not want to be
known as the girl who...
180
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:42,642
Sir Kenneth?
181
00:06:43,894 --> 00:06:45,298
W-Where am I?
182
00:06:45,341 --> 00:06:47,129
You don't know the shame.
183
00:06:47,171 --> 00:06:48,406
Now they won't let me drive around
184
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:51,683
anyone smarter than a
sociology professor.
185
00:06:51,726 --> 00:06:53,727
You know what else
hit the ground today? Me.
186
00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:57,132
While I was bending over to
pickup a doughnut off the floor!
187
00:06:57,175 --> 00:06:58,835
It was covered in dust balls,
but I didn't care,
188
00:06:58,878 --> 00:07:00,368
'cause I'm a disgusting pig monster.
189
00:07:00,410 --> 00:07:01,347
Oh, honey, please.
190
00:07:01,389 --> 00:07:02,751
You're as...
191
00:07:02,794 --> 00:07:04,071
as beautiful as ever.
192
00:07:04,114 --> 00:07:05,902
Tell that to MugScan.
193
00:07:05,944 --> 00:07:09,605
MugScan is a face-recognition
program we use at work.
194
00:07:09,648 --> 00:07:11,393
It was really mean to me.
195
00:07:13,606 --> 00:07:14,628
Good morning, Wayne.
196
00:07:14,670 --> 00:07:15,607
Wayne?
197
00:07:15,649 --> 00:07:17,437
I'm not Wayne, you jerk!
198
00:07:18,459 --> 00:07:20,246
Gosh!
199
00:07:28,462 --> 00:07:29,229
You all right, Haley?
200
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,294
I'm fine, Wayne.
201
00:07:32,337 --> 00:07:34,635
One of my shoes flew off in the fall,
202
00:07:34,677 --> 00:07:37,147
and I couldn't put it back on
because my feet were so swollen.
203
00:07:37,189 --> 00:07:40,041
You know who makes a great shoe?
New Balance.
204
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,169
I wear them when I
power-walk to Neil Diamond.
205
00:07:43,148 --> 00:07:46,044
Hey, Mom,
is this divider a little too high?
206
00:07:46,086 --> 00:07:47,703
No. No, it's supposed to be that way.
207
00:07:47,746 --> 00:07:50,087
That way, if one twin
wants to visit the other,
208
00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:53,450
he can just go,
"Ah, doot, doot, doot. Hi!"
209
00:07:53,493 --> 00:07:55,323
- Aaaah!
- Hey!
210
00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:58,814
Couple thoughts.
211
00:07:59,836 --> 00:08:01,709
- Pair of 7s.
- Ace high.
212
00:08:01,751 --> 00:08:04,561
Everyone, I'd like you to
meet Don Lemon and RuPaul,
213
00:08:04,603 --> 00:08:05,990
a pair of black queens.
214
00:08:06,434 --> 00:08:08,477
Mitchell, that's the third time
you've wandered over there.
215
00:08:08,519 --> 00:08:09,668
What are you doing?
216
00:08:09,711 --> 00:08:11,755
- Nothing.
- He's got something in his mouth.
217
00:08:11,797 --> 00:08:13,372
- Get him!
- No. No, I don't. - Come here!
218
00:08:13,414 --> 00:08:15,883
- No, no, no!
- Don't... Don't fight. Don't...
219
00:08:15,926 --> 00:08:16,947
He has beef jerky!
220
00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:18,071
That's the last of it. I swear.
221
00:08:18,132 --> 00:08:19,804
- He's lying. Check his pockets.
- No, I...
222
00:08:20,268 --> 00:08:22,414
- Stop it, stop it, stop it!
- It's a family pack!
223
00:08:22,505 --> 00:08:24,676
I hope the jerky was as
delicious as the irony.
224
00:08:24,718 --> 00:08:26,591
- Give it!
- No, stop it! Stop it...
225
00:08:26,634 --> 00:08:28,167
No!
226
00:08:28,209 --> 00:08:29,188
Great.
227
00:08:29,231 --> 00:08:30,891
We're sending beef smoke signals
228
00:08:30,934 --> 00:08:32,466
to a forest full of bears.
229
00:08:32,509 --> 00:08:34,254
I'm sorry! I should've shared!
230
00:08:34,297 --> 00:08:36,595
Meanwhile,
there is a sack full of hiking snacks
231
00:08:36,638 --> 00:08:37,574
just up the road!
232
00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:38,553
Brie, prosciutto,
233
00:08:38,596 --> 00:08:41,150
not to mention a wonderful
maple-walnut butter
234
00:08:41,192 --> 00:08:43,449
that Gloria recommended
on her Pinterest board.
235
00:08:43,492 --> 00:08:44,428
That's it. I'm going out there.
236
00:08:44,471 --> 00:08:45,407
Jay, wait!
237
00:08:45,450 --> 00:08:48,004
If you see a bear, remember...
238
00:08:48,046 --> 00:08:49,578
blind it with the flash on your phone,
239
00:08:49,621 --> 00:08:51,665
then lie on your back
in a submissive pose.
240
00:08:51,707 --> 00:08:53,793
I'm not doing that.
If I come face-to-face with a bear,
241
00:08:53,835 --> 00:08:54,814
he better run!
242
00:09:00,051 --> 00:09:01,540
It's darker out there...
243
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,073
Aaaaaaaah!
244
00:09:04,732 --> 00:09:06,521
Are you sure it was the best idea
245
00:09:06,563 --> 00:09:08,181
to attach these before
moving them upstairs?
246
00:09:08,224 --> 00:09:11,416
Yeah, I eyeballed the space.
It really should fit easily.
247
00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:12,377
Ow!
248
00:09:13,076 --> 00:09:15,332
Except Alex apparently
has steered us into a jam.
249
00:09:16,218 --> 00:09:18,482
Oh, that must be the pizza guy.
Coming, Carl!
250
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,355
You know the pizza guy's name?
251
00:09:20,398 --> 00:09:21,547
No!
252
00:09:24,016 --> 00:09:25,804
- Hi.
- Hey, Haley.
253
00:09:25,847 --> 00:09:28,188
Surprised to get an order
from you before midnight.
254
00:09:28,231 --> 00:09:30,657
By the way, how'd you like that
custom shrimp and potato pizza?
255
00:09:30,699 --> 00:09:33,722
I don't even know
what you're talking about.
256
00:09:33,765 --> 00:09:35,126
Loved it. Love you.
257
00:09:35,169 --> 00:09:36,318
Gonna go get my wallet!
258
00:09:39,923 --> 00:09:41,044
Mom?
259
00:09:41,086 --> 00:09:41,854
Okay.
260
00:09:41,912 --> 00:09:44,279
Alex, run downstairs
and get a screwdriver.
261
00:09:44,321 --> 00:09:46,322
This whole thing will fit easily
once we take the cribs apart.
262
00:09:46,364 --> 00:09:47,258
We don't even know
263
00:09:47,301 --> 00:09:49,812
if this thing is gonna fit
through the bedroom door.
264
00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:51,260
Of course it will.
265
00:09:51,303 --> 00:09:54,070
But if it makes you happy,
I will measure again.
266
00:09:54,112 --> 00:09:55,474
Hmm.
267
00:09:55,516 --> 00:09:57,049
Hmm?
268
00:09:59,731 --> 00:10:00,710
See?
269
00:10:03,817 --> 00:10:05,477
You always record over my programs...
270
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,798
Whoa!
271
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,287
Gah! Aah!
272
00:10:08,329 --> 00:10:10,416
- Oh!
- Ow!
273
00:10:12,842 --> 00:10:14,502
Okay, no, how about this?
274
00:10:14,545 --> 00:10:17,422
We all band together to form one big man
275
00:10:17,456 --> 00:10:18,205
to go get the food.
276
00:10:18,248 --> 00:10:19,526
- No!
- How's that supposed to work?
277
00:10:19,568 --> 00:10:21,437
Okay, back to back, um, and...
and then link arms.
278
00:10:21,522 --> 00:10:23,373
- Okay.
- Turn around, give me your arm.
279
00:10:23,465 --> 00:10:25,125
See, look? Like this, all right?
280
00:10:25,168 --> 00:10:27,849
- Do we look big and scary?
- Well, I think so.
281
00:10:27,892 --> 00:10:29,637
Let's move towards the door.
282
00:10:31,775 --> 00:10:33,511
Okay.
283
00:10:33,553 --> 00:10:35,682
Nice and easy.
284
00:10:35,725 --> 00:10:40,577
We're just one big man
out for a walk in the woods.
285
00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:41,812
Scatter!
286
00:10:41,854 --> 00:10:43,429
Aah!
287
00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:46,537
We made it. Oh!
288
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:48,103
Wait! Where's Mitchell?
289
00:10:48,146 --> 00:10:49,126
He didn't make it!
290
00:10:49,169 --> 00:10:50,318
One of you two need to go get him!
291
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,191
I'm better staying here as a bear decoy.
292
00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:53,467
I give off a natural musk.
293
00:10:53,510 --> 00:10:56,064
Birds land on me all the time.
Squirrels eat out of my hand.
294
00:10:56,107 --> 00:10:58,022
Well, I can't go!
Lily needs at least one living parent!
295
00:11:00,023 --> 00:11:01,002
Wait!
296
00:11:01,045 --> 00:11:02,279
How do we know it's not the bear?
297
00:11:02,322 --> 00:11:03,258
It's me!
298
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,068
You just left me!
299
00:11:06,110 --> 00:11:07,217
Oh, you weren't out there that long.
300
00:11:07,259 --> 00:11:08,494
You didn't get the food?!
301
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:09,771
I almost was food!
302
00:11:09,814 --> 00:11:12,495
Okay, I-I wish I never even
came on this stupid trip!
303
00:11:12,538 --> 00:11:13,517
Well, who forced you?
304
00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:14,678
Gloria!
305
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:22,753
It's my delivery ankle.
306
00:11:22,796 --> 00:11:24,286
It's really bad, dudes.
307
00:11:24,328 --> 00:11:26,968
It was already weak from
your paintball injury, Carl.
308
00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:28,500
I told you to get it checked out,
309
00:11:28,543 --> 00:11:29,735
but you and doctors.
310
00:11:31,139 --> 00:11:33,523
Okay, fine, I know him a little.
311
00:11:33,566 --> 00:11:35,226
When it rains, it pours, huh?
312
00:11:35,269 --> 00:11:36,418
- Margaret-Anne left me this morning.
- Aw!
313
00:11:36,460 --> 00:11:39,142
Then my dad called me
"Craig" on the phone again.
314
00:11:39,185 --> 00:11:40,675
That's the name of his new son.
315
00:11:40,717 --> 00:11:42,845
Oh, God. Carl, can we
at least drive you home?
316
00:11:43,348 --> 00:11:44,166
Not now.
317
00:11:44,208 --> 00:11:47,018
I have 10 pizzas going to my enemies,
the Sigmas.
318
00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:49,784
Those rich kids get their
kicks taking advantage
319
00:11:49,827 --> 00:11:51,019
of our "30 Minutes or it's Free"
policy...
320
00:11:51,061 --> 00:11:52,977
use every trick in the
book to slow me down.
321
00:11:53,019 --> 00:11:55,020
Well, not tonight, Chad and Chip.
322
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,170
Not to... Aaaah!
323
00:11:56,212 --> 00:11:58,128
The bone's got to be sticking out,
right?
324
00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:00,682
No, it's not even swollen.
325
00:12:00,725 --> 00:12:02,683
Look, Carl, we've all had rough days.
326
00:12:02,725 --> 00:12:04,598
Why don't you let us finish
this delivery for you?
327
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:06,599
Okay, but we've only got,
like, 10 minutes.
328
00:12:06,641 --> 00:12:07,663
Let's go, then! Come here.
329
00:12:07,705 --> 00:12:08,940
- Okay.
- Come on!
330
00:12:08,983 --> 00:12:11,494
It'll feel good to get
something right today.
331
00:12:11,536 --> 00:12:13,963
Plus, I wouldn't mind sticking
it to some preppy, white jerks.
332
00:12:14,005 --> 00:12:17,156
Hey! That life comes
with its own problems!
333
00:12:22,095 --> 00:12:23,328
Don't be mad, Dad.
334
00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:24,818
Gloria was just worried about you.
335
00:12:24,860 --> 00:12:26,180
I don't want to talk about it.
336
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:27,967
Let's just have a drink and be quiet.
337
00:12:30,863 --> 00:12:33,246
Lot of colors in that fire, huh?
338
00:12:33,289 --> 00:12:35,630
Red, green...
339
00:12:35,673 --> 00:12:37,291
- yellow, blue...
- Geez. Okay.
340
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:40,015
What is this yammering with you?!
Seriously!
341
00:12:40,058 --> 00:12:41,249
I don't know.
342
00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:45,677
I guess I just don't like being
alone with my own thoughts.
343
00:12:47,038 --> 00:12:49,081
Maybe it's because I have a
couple of grandkids on the way,
344
00:12:49,124 --> 00:12:50,742
but now, if... if things get too quiet,
345
00:12:50,784 --> 00:12:53,126
my mind goes to a dark place fast.
346
00:12:53,168 --> 00:12:55,638
I start to worry about
the people that I love
347
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,511
and all the bad things
that could happen to them.
348
00:12:58,702 --> 00:13:01,724
I suppose talking...
pushes those thoughts out
349
00:13:01,767 --> 00:13:03,555
and helps me feel okay.
350
00:13:03,597 --> 00:13:05,002
I get it.
351
00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:06,492
We can all spiral.
352
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,237
But you can't talk your way out of it.
353
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,834
You got to think your way out of it.
354
00:13:10,876 --> 00:13:12,919
You know, find a happy place.
355
00:13:12,963 --> 00:13:14,452
Try this.
356
00:13:14,495 --> 00:13:16,666
30 seconds, no talking. Go.
357
00:13:33,991 --> 00:13:35,651
- Buddy, where are you?
- I'm back. Yep.
358
00:13:35,694 --> 00:13:37,738
You know, I think
we can learn a lot from this guy,
359
00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:38,929
because it's not the...
360
00:13:38,972 --> 00:13:41,951
the bears out there
that we're afraid of.
361
00:13:41,994 --> 00:13:43,143
It's the bears in our lives...
362
00:13:43,186 --> 00:13:45,570
the fear that keeps us up at night.
363
00:13:45,612 --> 00:13:48,464
And I think that's an interesting
topic we can return to
364
00:13:48,507 --> 00:13:50,891
once I change into my
"Fireside Chat" look.
365
00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:52,210
Another wardrobe change?
366
00:13:52,253 --> 00:13:54,509
You're like a sultan's
bride on her wedding day.
367
00:13:54,552 --> 00:13:56,425
Go ahead... make fun of me.
368
00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:57,872
I like my outfits.
369
00:13:57,915 --> 00:13:59,192
Why so many?
370
00:13:59,234 --> 00:14:00,596
Yeah, I guess when I was a kid,
371
00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:02,427
I realized I wasn't ever gonna fit in,
372
00:14:02,470 --> 00:14:04,300
so I decided to stand out.
373
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,216
I embraced my flamboyance
374
00:14:06,258 --> 00:14:08,556
to let the world know their
insults won't hurt me.
375
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:10,898
Want to make a joke about me?
Go ahead, 'cause I'm in on it.
376
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:14,303
That's really beautiful, Cam.
377
00:14:14,346 --> 00:14:16,559
And you're not alone.
378
00:14:16,602 --> 00:14:19,880
Growing up, we were all
insecure nerds in our own way.
379
00:14:21,838 --> 00:14:23,285
I was cool.
380
00:14:25,967 --> 00:14:28,096
What? I thought we were sharing.
381
00:14:28,138 --> 00:14:30,777
That's very brave, Cam.
That's good stuff.
382
00:14:34,991 --> 00:14:36,907
Are you crazy?!
I shouldn't be the one driving!
383
00:14:36,949 --> 00:14:38,865
There is no time to argue!
Just go! Come on!
384
00:14:41,102 --> 00:14:43,054
Thanks so much for making
me part of your group.
385
00:14:43,096 --> 00:14:45,565
It's not every day you
make four new best friends.
386
00:14:47,228 --> 00:14:48,673
Why are they going so slow?!
387
00:14:48,716 --> 00:14:50,035
I can't get past them!
388
00:14:50,078 --> 00:14:51,823
This is one of Sigma's tactics.
389
00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:52,972
They track my location on the app
390
00:14:53,015 --> 00:14:54,803
and send pledges to try to slow me down.
391
00:14:54,845 --> 00:14:55,953
Ugh! What am I gonna do?!
392
00:14:56,411 --> 00:14:57,527
I'll handle this.
393
00:14:57,569 --> 00:14:59,570
Carl, I'm taking your paintball guns!
394
00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:02,721
Move! Or I move you!
395
00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:08,510
I do still have my edge!
396
00:15:08,552 --> 00:15:09,489
Yes!
397
00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:12,597
Will you join my paintball team?
398
00:15:13,873 --> 00:15:14,794
What is that?!
399
00:15:14,875 --> 00:15:16,640
Field of Minions. Classic Sigmas.
400
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,811
Don't get distracted by the cuteness.
We only have five minutes.
401
00:15:18,854 --> 00:15:20,131
Just go around them.
402
00:15:25,669 --> 00:15:27,031
Oh, my God, I did it!
403
00:15:27,074 --> 00:15:28,309
And you're all still in the car!
404
00:15:28,351 --> 00:15:29,926
Okay, now, we can't give them
any reason to say
405
00:15:29,969 --> 00:15:31,033
that we didn't fill the order perfectly,
406
00:15:31,076 --> 00:15:32,650
so check the pizzas,
make sure they didn't shift.
407
00:15:32,693 --> 00:15:34,737
Oh, Haley, I'm sure
you're worrying about nothing...
408
00:15:35,182 --> 00:15:36,525
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
409
00:15:40,866 --> 00:15:42,611
Carl, do you have a pizza slicer?
410
00:15:42,654 --> 00:15:44,825
Only the commemorative one
I got for 10 years of service.
411
00:15:44,868 --> 00:15:46,443
Give it to me. I have a vision.
412
00:15:47,287 --> 00:15:49,508
Shaq and Hendrix never got
past their blind spots.
413
00:15:49,550 --> 00:15:51,466
Maybe they didn't want it enough.
414
00:15:51,508 --> 00:15:54,063
Turning 9 pizzas into
10 was a simple matter
415
00:15:54,097 --> 00:15:56,030
of removing one slice from each pie,
416
00:15:56,064 --> 00:15:57,681
then trimming off a
V-shaped portion of pizza
417
00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:59,299
from each of the remaining slices,
418
00:15:59,341 --> 00:16:01,214
turning them from 36-degree
angles to 40-degree angles,
419
00:16:01,257 --> 00:16:02,916
then putting together
the 40-degree angles
420
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,790
into nine slightly smaller pies.
421
00:16:04,832 --> 00:16:07,173
After that, one had only to repurpose
422
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,131
the nine previously removed slices
423
00:16:09,174 --> 00:16:10,110
into a 10th pie.
424
00:16:11,047 --> 00:16:12,920
And... 10!
425
00:16:12,962 --> 00:16:14,112
It worked!
426
00:16:14,155 --> 00:16:15,176
It really did.
427
00:16:15,219 --> 00:16:16,964
I do have a visual brain.
428
00:16:17,007 --> 00:16:17,816
That was your thing?
429
00:16:17,858 --> 00:16:20,071
I do not miss having
white-people problems.
430
00:16:21,287 --> 00:16:22,895
We're here! I did it!
431
00:16:22,929 --> 00:16:25,307
We only have a minute to get
the pizzas inside. Let's go!
432
00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:27,563
Oh, wait, wait, wait!
Uh, the frat has a video doorbell.
433
00:16:27,606 --> 00:16:29,777
If they see it's a delivery,
they try to run out the clock.
434
00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:31,820
I'll handle this.
435
00:16:33,481 --> 00:16:34,800
Stay on that side.
436
00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:37,482
Yeah?
437
00:16:37,524 --> 00:16:39,238
Hi. Um...
438
00:16:39,611 --> 00:16:42,378
I go to U of A, and I'm super drunk.
439
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:45,315
Is there a place where I
can sober up for the night?
440
00:16:47,103 --> 00:16:50,082
At least my looks can still
get me into a frat house.
441
00:16:50,125 --> 00:16:51,146
Okay, guys, go, go!
442
00:16:52,125 --> 00:16:54,552
10 pizzas on time.
443
00:16:54,594 --> 00:16:55,446
Pay up!
444
00:16:55,488 --> 00:16:56,850
You guys with Carl?
445
00:16:56,893 --> 00:16:58,894
We are Carl.
446
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:02,938
Come on, hurry up! A bet's a bet!
447
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:05,237
I told you I could stand
on one leg longer than you!
448
00:17:05,279 --> 00:17:07,620
You're the only one
whose balance gets better
449
00:17:07,663 --> 00:17:09,408
after drinking a jug of whiskey.
450
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:11,792
All right.
My follower is gonna love this!
451
00:17:11,835 --> 00:17:12,856
Everybody say "Cheese!"
452
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:14,048
- Cheese.
- Yes.
453
00:17:14,090 --> 00:17:15,793
Okay, now,
that is how you build a brand.
454
00:17:15,836 --> 00:17:18,390
Well, I guess we should kill
the rest of this whiskey.
455
00:17:18,433 --> 00:17:19,709
But then we'll have nothing
to serve the murderers
456
00:17:19,752 --> 00:17:20,773
when they arrive.
457
00:17:20,817 --> 00:17:22,306
You know, you joke,
458
00:17:22,349 --> 00:17:25,115
but you have a certain
paranoia about you.
459
00:17:25,158 --> 00:17:26,222
What... What's behind that?
460
00:17:26,265 --> 00:17:27,201
Well...
461
00:17:27,245 --> 00:17:29,500
Ooh! Are we about to hear
about Mitchell's bear?
462
00:17:29,543 --> 00:17:31,756
Uh, okay. It... It's, um...
463
00:17:31,799 --> 00:17:33,629
I've never told anyone this, but, uh,
464
00:17:33,672 --> 00:17:36,098
a fortune teller once predicted
465
00:17:36,141 --> 00:17:38,440
that I would not live
to see my 46th winter.
466
00:17:38,482 --> 00:17:41,292
Was that that kook that used
to live next door to us?
467
00:17:41,334 --> 00:17:42,143
She's nuts.
468
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,995
She told your mother she was
gonna win a Tony one day.
469
00:17:45,038 --> 00:17:47,379
But she was right about
a lot of other things.
470
00:17:47,422 --> 00:17:49,848
She said that I'd become a lawyer.
471
00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:52,317
She said that I would
marry a clown one day.
472
00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,190
Laughed a long time about that one.
473
00:17:54,232 --> 00:17:55,084
Why?
474
00:17:55,126 --> 00:17:57,212
Anyway, I-I guess my "bear"
475
00:17:57,254 --> 00:17:58,575
is the fear of dying young.
476
00:17:58,617 --> 00:18:01,043
Uh, I mean,
if that fortune teller's right,
477
00:18:01,085 --> 00:18:03,214
I only have three more years to live.
478
00:18:03,257 --> 00:18:04,875
Well, y-you know what? The way I see it,
479
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,918
this little curse is actually a gift...
480
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,770
a reason to live life to the fullest.
481
00:18:09,812 --> 00:18:11,473
And have no regrets.
482
00:18:11,515 --> 00:18:14,963
Okay, so we're all just accepting
this 46-year thing as true?
483
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:16,538
We've made our peace with it.
484
00:18:16,580 --> 00:18:17,688
And so should you.
485
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:20,455
Why not just live your limited days
486
00:18:20,497 --> 00:18:22,413
with leaving nothing unsaid?
487
00:18:22,455 --> 00:18:24,967
Tell the people who matter
the most how you feel.
488
00:18:25,010 --> 00:18:27,580
I tell you and Lily
I love you every single day.
489
00:18:27,670 --> 00:18:29,734
True. What about Phil?
490
00:18:29,777 --> 00:18:32,586
He did text me with a
"Love ya" this morning.
491
00:18:32,629 --> 00:18:33,565
Close enough.
492
00:18:33,608 --> 00:18:35,012
And your dad?
493
00:18:39,269 --> 00:18:40,333
Seriously?!
494
00:18:40,376 --> 00:18:42,206
I just have a hard time
saying that word to him.
495
00:18:42,249 --> 00:18:43,824
Which is fine for the both of us.
496
00:18:43,867 --> 00:18:44,973
Okay, well, it sounds like
497
00:18:45,016 --> 00:18:46,875
you might be uncomfortable
with that word, too.
498
00:18:46,941 --> 00:18:49,230
No! I don't have a problem with it.
I use it all the time.
499
00:18:49,273 --> 00:18:50,550
I'm always saying I love things. I...
500
00:18:50,593 --> 00:18:53,573
I love the feel of toasty
socks out of the microwave.
501
00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:56,425
I love the far-off sound
of a train whistle.
502
00:18:56,467 --> 00:18:59,277
You know, "Ooh!
What adventure have they gotten off to?"
503
00:18:59,319 --> 00:19:01,367
I l... I love watching a baby stretch.
504
00:19:01,409 --> 00:19:04,645
Those are all good things
in your life, Jay, but...
505
00:19:04,687 --> 00:19:06,007
what's your "bear"?
506
00:19:06,049 --> 00:19:06,773
I don't have one.
507
00:19:06,816 --> 00:19:08,348
Oh, come on! We all told you ours.
508
00:19:08,391 --> 00:19:10,391
Now, when you get to my age,
509
00:19:10,434 --> 00:19:13,243
there are less things
that you're afraid of.
510
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,031
Except maybe...
511
00:19:15,074 --> 00:19:16,649
being a burden to your family.
512
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:18,565
Which is starting already,
513
00:19:18,607 --> 00:19:21,374
because Gloria forced
you guys to babysit me,
514
00:19:21,417 --> 00:19:24,396
which is why I wanted
to spend the night here
515
00:19:24,439 --> 00:19:28,483
so I could prove I'm not some...
frail old man.
516
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,611
But, if I'm being honest,
517
00:19:30,654 --> 00:19:34,230
that hike gets tougher
for me every year.
518
00:19:34,272 --> 00:19:37,593
And I was relieved that I
didn't have to do it alone.
519
00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:38,869
Oh, Dad.
520
00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:40,402
You could never be a burden.
521
00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:42,913
Yeah, you're the one who's
always taking care of all of us.
522
00:19:42,957 --> 00:19:45,766
We'd love the chance
to return the favor.
523
00:19:47,213 --> 00:19:48,873
All right. It's getting late.
524
00:19:48,916 --> 00:19:50,959
This mountain pimp
outfit's making me sweat.
525
00:19:51,001 --> 00:19:52,151
Let's... Let's get some rest.
526
00:19:53,324 --> 00:19:54,747
- Good night.
- Good night.
527
00:19:54,790 --> 00:19:56,492
I'll take the sofa.
528
00:19:56,535 --> 00:19:57,728
Sure you're gonna be okay out here?
529
00:19:57,770 --> 00:19:59,302
- Yeah, I'll be fine.
- Okay.
530
00:20:01,217 --> 00:20:03,346
Do... Do you want me to grab you
an extra blanket or something?
531
00:20:03,389 --> 00:20:04,964
No, no. I'll get something if I need it.
532
00:20:05,986 --> 00:20:08,539
Okay. Well...
533
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:09,799
Good night.
534
00:20:14,924 --> 00:20:16,245
I know.
535
00:20:34,788 --> 00:20:36,548
All right, Dad. We're ready to go.
536
00:20:36,582 --> 00:20:37,406
Yeah, Jay.
537
00:20:37,441 --> 00:20:39,961
I'm sorry you didn't see a
bald eagle this time around.
538
00:20:40,003 --> 00:20:41,577
Y-Yeah. It's too bad.
539
00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:43,962
I guess we'll all have to come
back here again next year.
540
00:20:44,004 --> 00:20:45,196
Yeah.
541
00:20:45,238 --> 00:20:46,941
I don't know about you guys,
but I slept great.
542
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:49,878
That cot was so soft.
I'm not always a sound sleeper.
543
00:20:49,921 --> 00:20:52,774
Been meaning to try that melatonin.
I hear it's a real game-changer.
544
00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:54,519
And you can get it anywhere nowadays.
545
00:20:54,562 --> 00:20:55,838
Has it always been over-the-counter?
546
00:20:55,881 --> 00:20:57,669
Kind of a funny phrase, isn't it...
"over-the-counter"?
40077
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