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[electronic buzz]
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[narrator] Welcome to Multiversity,
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America's leading
Alternative History Research App.
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Multiversity lets you modify
any historical fact
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and witness virtual simulations
of how history would change.
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Take, for example,
one of our most popular requests:
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the death of Adolf Hitler.
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Now, let's change the date.
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Six alternate time lines
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are included on this welcome demo.
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We hope you enjoy.
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Death scenario number one.
[whistling]
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Argh! Ugh!
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[yells in German]
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[screams]
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[narrator] Killed during a brawl onthe steps of the Academy of Fine Arts.
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- Result: World War I proceeds.
- [soldiers yell]
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The Weimar Republic begins late.
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World War II delayed until 1948.
- [soldiers yell]
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- US drops atomic bomb on Berlin in 1952.
- Yee-ha!
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Neil Armstrong,
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- first man on the moon, 1969.
- ["The Star-Spangled Banner" plays ]
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Death scenario number two.
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[whistles]
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[yells in German]
[horse neighs]
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[whimpers]
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[narrator] Killed by run-awayhorse-drawn wagon filled with bratwurst.
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Result: Vienna passes tough
horse-drawn vehicle laws,
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prompting the quick acceptance
of automobiles.
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Austria becomes
automotive industrial powerhouse.
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- World War I proceeds.
- [evil laugh]
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Germany and allies win
thanks to technological advances.
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- The '30s worldwide depression averted.
- [evil laugh]
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Willy Brandt, first man on the moon, 1958.
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Death scenario number three.
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[whistles]
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[yells in German]
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[horse neighs]
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[yells in German]
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[chuckles]
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- [laughs]
- [bird sings]
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[yells in German]
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[narrator] Killed by suffocationwhen encased in a block of gelatin.
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Hitler is the random victim of
a gelatin-encasing weapon
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- developed by the Russian aristocracy.
- ["Kalinka" playing]
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Result: The gelatin-encasing weapon
is subsequently used
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to eliminate enemies of Tsar Nicholas II.
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World War I begins with
the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand.
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World War I quickly ends in 1915.
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Russia becomes sole superpower.
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Vladimir Putin,
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- first real man on the moon, 1988.
- [sings after final note of "Kalinka"]
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Death scenario number four.
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[yells in German]
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[chuckles]
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- [laughs]
- [bird sings]
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[wolf whistle]
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[striptease music plays]
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[panting]
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["William Tell Overture" plays]
[panting heavily]
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[narrator] Killed by marathon fornicationwith four Viennese prostitutes.
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Result: The prostitutes are all arrested,
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only to be revealed
as libidinous travelers
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from a very sexy parallel dimension...
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who teach the Viennese their
multi-dimensional ways of astro-pleasure.
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Janine Lindemulder,
first woman on the moon, 1996.
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Death scenario number five.
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[wolf whistle]
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- [striptease music playing]
- [panting]
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[gasps]
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Killed by a meteor strike
square on the head.
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The meteor was a precursor to
a massive asteroid cruising towards Earth.
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It makes impact a few hours later.
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Result: Humanity wiped out,
along with 93% of all species.
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A society of rats rises, evolves,
becomes a perfect democracy...
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only to discover nationalism
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- and develop weapons of mass destruction,
- [yelling]
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which work as intended,
destroying the world...
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again...
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allowing the rise of
a peaceful squid civilization.
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Gluugsnergluug.
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First squid on the moon 2,973,412.
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Death scenario number six.
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[wolf whistle]
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[gasps]
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[electronic buzz]
[all] Hi, Hitler.
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- [laughs]
- [electronic buzz]
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- [shouts] Die!
- [guns cocking]
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[narrator] Caught in the crossfire
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between time-traveling anti-Nazis
sent to back to kill him
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and time-traveling Nazis sent back
to prevent his assassination...
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- finally saved by his future self,
- [laughs]Hitler forgets the first rule of time travel:
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"Never touch your doppelganger."
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Killed by space-time paradox.
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[narrator's voice distorting] Result:
Causality loop annihilates time and space
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and destroys all life in the uni...
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[clicks]
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[narrator] Oops! Sorry about that.Thank you for choosing Multiversity!
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Now, it's your time to make history.
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