1 00:01:26,533 --> 00:03:48,401 _ 2 00:03:51,434 --> 00:03:52,567 ♪ All aboard! 3 00:03:54,340 --> 00:03:55,467 ♪ Hip-hop's dead 4 00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:56,667 ♪ That's what they said on the news 5 00:03:56,668 --> 00:03:57,701 ♪ Nah, it's still alive 6 00:03:57,833 --> 00:03:58,913 ♪ But it's getting confused 7 00:03:58,967 --> 00:04:00,334 ♪ So there's no time to waste 8 00:04:00,467 --> 00:04:01,467 ♪ Not a second to lose 9 00:04:01,601 --> 00:04:02,801 ♪ 'Cause the clocks don't stop 10 00:04:02,833 --> 00:04:04,340 ♪ When you set 'em to snooze 11 00:04:04,167 --> 00:04:05,800 ♪ And it just don't stop 12 00:04:05,933 --> 00:04:07,000 ♪ 'Cause the time rolls 13 00:04:07,134 --> 00:04:08,367 ♪ On and on and on 14 00:04:08,501 --> 00:04:09,933 ♪ To the next stop 15 00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:11,270 ♪ And it just won't stop 16 00:04:11,134 --> 00:04:12,167 ♪ Because life goes 17 00:04:12,301 --> 00:04:14,234 ♪ On and on and on 18 00:04:14,367 --> 00:04:15,533 ♪ To the next stop ♪ What, that's how it goes 19 00:04:15,534 --> 00:04:16,900 ♪ When you hop on the line 20 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:18,133 ♪ You'll find anything you like 21 00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:19,167 ♪ But you can't buy time 22 00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,341 ♪ And there ain't no pause 23 00:04:20,367 --> 00:04:21,667 ♪ No press rewind 24 00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:23,900 ♪ So you don't want to get left behind ♪ 25 00:04:25,501 --> 00:04:28,340 BOY: Extra! Extra! Read all about it! 26 00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:30,267 Moriarty's crime spree over! 27 00:04:30,401 --> 00:04:34,000 Professor James Moriarty faces justice today! 28 00:04:34,134 --> 00:04:36,600 The Napoleon of crime on trial! 29 00:04:36,733 --> 00:04:39,967 - Greatest criminal in the empire! - That's fake news. 30 00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:43,401 (GAVEL BANGS) JUDGE: Professor James Moriarty. 31 00:04:43,434 --> 00:04:46,340 You have been the organizer of half that is evil 32 00:04:46,167 --> 00:04:50,334 and all that goes undetected in this great city. 33 00:04:50,467 --> 00:04:54,601 Today, you are charged with murder in the first degree, 34 00:04:54,734 --> 00:04:58,601 but all the witnesses have died. 35 00:04:58,734 --> 00:05:03,000 Without said witnesses, I have no choice but to set you free. 36 00:05:03,134 --> 00:05:04,768 (GALLERY MURMURING) 37 00:05:06,768 --> 00:05:08,467 Inspector Lestrade, 38 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:11,634 you simply must take better care of your witnesses. 39 00:05:11,768 --> 00:05:14,734 (GALLERY JEERING) 40 00:05:14,867 --> 00:05:16,434 Mark my words, 41 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:18,967 Sherlock Holmes is on his way and, with him, 42 00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:22,340 the evidence that will damn you to the noose. 43 00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:25,967 Then we should all pray he arrives soon, for, on the strike of noon, 44 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:28,367 I shall have to release this menace. 45 00:05:28,501 --> 00:05:29,967 Sherlock will be here. 46 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:33,434 He is about to burst through those doors right now. 47 00:05:40,901 --> 00:05:43,300 Stop this trial at once! 48 00:05:43,434 --> 00:05:45,367 I, Sherlock Holmes, 49 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:48,867 have solved the case of Professor James Moriarty. 50 00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:51,534 Wonderful. Wonderful, Holmes. 51 00:05:51,667 --> 00:05:54,634 A dramatic entrance worthy of your greatest achievement. 52 00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:57,467 Watson, did you notice my emphasis 53 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,734 on "Professor James Moriarty"? 54 00:05:59,867 --> 00:06:01,200 Yes, with the finger, yes. 55 00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:03,100 Much better than the hand. Yes. 56 00:06:03,134 --> 00:06:05,901 Instead of the karate chop, I went to the index finger. 57 00:06:06,340 --> 00:06:07,667 Yes, it's the best one yet. 58 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,434 This is the moment everyone's been waiting for. Right here. 59 00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:13,901 Yes, and they're literally waiting for it now. 60 00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:15,534 Oh, yes. You must get dressed. 61 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:16,901 Yes? Very well. 62 00:06:17,340 --> 00:06:18,634 There we are. There are your things. 63 00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:20,500 Remember, trial of the century. Yes. 64 00:06:20,634 --> 00:06:22,567 We have but... Oh, let's see now. 65 00:06:22,701 --> 00:06:24,534 Just 16 minutes left, Holmes. 66 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,501 - Nearly there? - HOLMES: Nearly there. 67 00:06:27,634 --> 00:06:31,434 A sniff of morning cocaine always helps the brain. Ah! 68 00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:32,768 Come now, Sherlock. 69 00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,668 We mustn't let that trial conclude. 70 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,467 For this occasion, I have selected a new hat. 71 00:06:38,601 --> 00:06:41,933 From now on, when people utter the name "Sherlock Holmes," 72 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:45,000 they will picture this. 73 00:06:47,867 --> 00:06:50,400 Brilliant. Can we go? 74 00:06:50,534 --> 00:06:52,834 Your furrowed brow betrays your lying lips. 75 00:06:52,967 --> 00:06:54,134 Oh, no. 76 00:06:54,267 --> 00:06:55,534 Not to worry. 77 00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:56,834 Ta-da! 78 00:06:56,967 --> 00:06:58,834 Hey, there, cowboy. (LAUGHS) 79 00:06:58,967 --> 00:07:00,734 That's the one. That's the one. Bang, bang. 80 00:07:00,867 --> 00:07:02,333 We should leave, yes? 81 00:07:02,467 --> 00:07:04,134 Oh! Aye, aye. 82 00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:05,867 I say, I like that one very much. 83 00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:08,434 You don't want to be late, Mr. Holmes. 84 00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:11,901 (GASPS) Mrs. Hudson, what do you think of this one? 85 00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:15,734 Me? I'm just a housekeeper from the Glasgow slums. 86 00:07:15,867 --> 00:07:19,434 The likes of me telling the likes of you what to put on his noggin? 87 00:07:20,134 --> 00:07:21,400 Good point. 88 00:07:21,534 --> 00:07:23,267 Back to your monkey work, Hudson. 89 00:07:24,834 --> 00:07:26,767 (WATSON CLEARS THROAT) 90 00:07:26,901 --> 00:07:29,199 - WATSON: Perfect, right? - HOLMES: May I show you a few more hats? 91 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,100 - WATSON: No! - Someone's left a wee box. 92 00:07:31,134 --> 00:07:32,434 What are you going on about? 93 00:07:32,468 --> 00:07:36,534 I never even heard anyone knocking. Did you hear anything? 94 00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:37,967 How very queer. 95 00:07:40,534 --> 00:07:43,667 - Queerer and queerer. - HOLMES: Hmm. 96 00:07:43,801 --> 00:07:45,680 Very odd. 97 00:07:46,101 --> 00:07:47,168 (INSECT BUZZING) 98 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,667 Watson, no. 99 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,100 Holmes, why are you getting so exercised? 100 00:07:50,101 --> 00:07:52,200 It's merely an empty box. 101 00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:55,680 (GASPS) Watson, this is sent from Moriarty. 102 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,734 He means to kill us. 103 00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:57,867 Listen. 104 00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:00,168 (INSECT BUZZING) 105 00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:01,901 Shut that window. 106 00:08:02,340 --> 00:08:04,194 If this winged menace escapes, it may cause a pandemic. 107 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,567 A killer mosquito? 108 00:08:05,701 --> 00:08:07,567 The insect is infected with African plague. 109 00:08:07,701 --> 00:08:10,340 One bite means death. 110 00:08:10,168 --> 00:08:12,333 Now, dance a Dutch jig. 111 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,901 ♪ ♪ 112 00:08:16,340 --> 00:08:19,734 You don't have to ask me twice to do a Dutch jig, but why? 113 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,567 Your body heat will attract him to dine on your flesh. 114 00:08:22,701 --> 00:08:23,600 Brilliant. 115 00:08:23,734 --> 00:08:26,333 Hold! Don't move. 116 00:08:26,467 --> 00:08:28,340 Where is it? Right there. 117 00:08:28,168 --> 00:08:29,608 There. Right there on your forehead. 118 00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:31,901 Kill it, Holmes. I'm going to kill it. 119 00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:33,680 (BUZZING) 120 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,867 There it is. Where? 121 00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,100 Hold, hold. No, no. Where? 122 00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:38,400 (BUZZING) 123 00:08:38,534 --> 00:08:39,967 (GROANS) No, hold, hold. 124 00:08:40,101 --> 00:08:41,340 Is it biting? 125 00:08:41,168 --> 00:08:42,333 (BOTH GRUNTING) 126 00:08:43,101 --> 00:08:44,680 I hear it. 127 00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:47,500 (GRUNTS) (GROANING) 128 00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:48,634 I see it. 129 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,834 (BUZZING) 130 00:08:50,967 --> 00:08:52,333 The tip! 131 00:08:52,467 --> 00:08:54,333 Don't worry, boys. I brought a net. 132 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:55,901 (GROANS) 133 00:08:57,267 --> 00:08:59,400 (BEES BUZZING) 134 00:09:03,801 --> 00:09:06,901 It is now seven minutes before noon. 135 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:10,340 Upon the lowering of my gavel, 136 00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:12,634 the charges shall be dismissed. 137 00:09:12,767 --> 00:09:15,600 (GALLERY GASPING, MURMURING) I shall raise my gavel in the air 138 00:09:15,734 --> 00:09:19,670 that so... and then bring it down 139 00:09:19,201 --> 00:09:23,234 briskly, making a satisfying bang, 140 00:09:23,368 --> 00:09:28,200 at which point the prisoner shall go free. 141 00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:29,567 (GALLERY GASPS) 142 00:09:31,301 --> 00:09:32,867 (BUZZING) 143 00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:42,167 HOLMES: Angle of approach. 144 00:09:42,301 --> 00:09:44,200 Compensate for warp in floor. 145 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,900 Count for resistance due to dust motes. 146 00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:48,567 Probable outcome, 147 00:09:48,701 --> 00:09:50,381 termination of mosquito. (MOSQUITO SQUEAKS) 148 00:09:50,401 --> 00:09:52,933 Integrity of bee habitat maintained. 149 00:09:53,670 --> 00:09:55,501 Deadly bee swarm averted. 150 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,401 (GRUNTS) (SQUISHES) 151 00:09:58,534 --> 00:09:59,567 (BEES BUZZING) 152 00:10:00,101 --> 00:10:02,168 (GASPS) The mosquito's vanquished. 153 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:03,867 (SIGHS) Well done, Holmes. 154 00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:07,634 It's a simple matter of geometry, entomology and physics. 155 00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:09,701 (QUIET CRACKLING) 156 00:10:11,333 --> 00:10:12,234 (GLASS SHATTERING) 157 00:10:12,267 --> 00:10:15,334 Oh, my God! Oh, shit. 158 00:10:15,467 --> 00:10:19,134 Watson! Stop panicking! We can disable the queen. 159 00:10:19,267 --> 00:10:20,967 It's making them angry, Holmes! 160 00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:29,368 Oh, my God. What are they doing? 161 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,934 They're turning this way! 162 00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:33,700 Just do anything! Help me! 163 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:36,767 It's working! 164 00:10:36,901 --> 00:10:38,433 It's not working! 165 00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:40,533 Get it off! It's not working! 166 00:10:40,667 --> 00:10:41,734 (WATSON GRUNTS) 167 00:10:41,867 --> 00:10:43,767 Holmes, we retreat. 168 00:10:43,901 --> 00:10:46,800 Run for safety. I'll lead them away. (GRUNTING) 169 00:10:46,934 --> 00:10:48,700 (SCREAMING, GROANS) 170 00:10:48,834 --> 00:10:50,800 (BEES BUZZING) 171 00:10:50,934 --> 00:10:52,433 (HORSE NEIGHS) 172 00:10:52,567 --> 00:10:54,234 (CLOCK TICKING) 173 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,734 (GALLERY GASPS) 174 00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,234 (GUNSHOT) (GALLERY GASPING) 175 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,201 Stop this trial! 176 00:11:10,334 --> 00:11:12,700 (GALLERY MURMURING, YELLING) 177 00:11:19,234 --> 00:11:22,967 May I present to you the greatest detective of all time, 178 00:11:23,101 --> 00:11:26,767 solver of the unsolvable, untier of Gordian knots, 179 00:11:26,901 --> 00:11:31,967 bester of conundrums, the great Sherlock Holmes. 180 00:11:32,101 --> 00:11:33,634 (GALLERY CHEERING) 181 00:11:33,767 --> 00:11:36,368 GALLERY: (CHANTING) Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 182 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:39,234 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 183 00:11:39,368 --> 00:11:41,767 Stop this trial at once! 184 00:11:44,867 --> 00:11:47,134 (MAN GROANS) 185 00:11:47,268 --> 00:11:49,600 JUDGE: Thank goodness you've arrived, Mr. Holmes. 186 00:11:49,734 --> 00:11:53,101 Now, what startling new evidence do you have for the court? 187 00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,467 I am the evidence. 188 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:55,934 (GALLERY GASPING, MURMURING) 189 00:11:56,135 --> 00:11:59,135 Inspector Lestrade, call the police office. 190 00:11:59,336 --> 00:12:02,736 _ 191 00:12:03,337 --> 00:12:05,737 _ _ 192 00:12:05,938 --> 00:12:08,338 _ _ _ 193 00:12:08,339 --> 00:12:10,739 _ _ _ _ 194 00:12:10,740 --> 00:12:12,540 _ _ _ _ _ 195 00:12:12,541 --> 00:12:15,141 _ 196 00:12:15,442 --> 00:12:17,242 _ _ 197 00:12:17,243 --> 00:12:19,643 _ _ _ 198 00:12:19,644 --> 00:12:22,544 _ 199 00:12:22,545 --> 00:12:26,145 _ _ 200 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,546 _ _ _ 201 00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:31,947 _ 202 00:12:32,148 --> 00:12:34,948 _ _ 203 00:12:34,949 --> 00:12:38,949 _ _ _ 204 00:12:39,670 --> 00:12:41,668 Now... I recall the day vividly. 205 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,670 I arrived at the crime scene alone. 206 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,167 Completely and utterly alone. 207 00:12:47,301 --> 00:12:48,967 (SIGHS, SCOFFS) 208 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,767 I meticulously inspected every nook and cranny of that study, 209 00:12:52,801 --> 00:12:57,868 hunting for clues, much like a panther stalks its prey. 210 00:13:00,434 --> 00:13:02,767 (ROARS) (ALL GASP) 211 00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:04,801 And as I stood there, 212 00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:08,200 I began to employ a groundbreaking new technique. 213 00:13:08,334 --> 00:13:09,934 Right there. 214 00:13:10,670 --> 00:13:12,667 Behold! Fingerprints. (GALLERY MURMURING) 215 00:13:12,801 --> 00:13:16,734 Imagine a print being taken from a finger. 216 00:13:17,434 --> 00:13:18,567 I love it. 217 00:13:18,701 --> 00:13:21,234 How do these prove Moriarty's guilt? 218 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:24,868 (SHELL CASINGS CLINKING) 219 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,000 Watson. 220 00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:30,330 Moriarty would never leave a trail of clues, 221 00:13:30,167 --> 00:13:31,834 which begs the question, 222 00:13:31,968 --> 00:13:33,634 why was this crime scene 223 00:13:33,767 --> 00:13:37,467 so uncharacteristically littered with fingerprints? 224 00:13:37,601 --> 00:13:39,200 Good work, Watson. 225 00:13:39,334 --> 00:13:40,633 Thank you. I just thought of what you might have done. 226 00:13:40,634 --> 00:13:42,467 I compared these prints 227 00:13:42,601 --> 00:13:45,667 to those of the man standing before you. 228 00:13:45,801 --> 00:13:47,267 A perfect match. 229 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,667 Unequivocal proof that this man 230 00:13:50,801 --> 00:13:53,167 - is innocent. - LESTRADE: What? 231 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,767 But if those are Moriarty's prints, 232 00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:56,868 then Moriarty is the murderer. 233 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,367 This man is not Moriarty. 234 00:13:59,501 --> 00:14:01,333 (GALLERY GASPING) MAN: He sure looks like Moriarty. 235 00:14:01,334 --> 00:14:05,133 He's an impostor. His name is Jacob Musgrave. 236 00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:07,601 A complete look-alike, a doppelganger. 237 00:14:07,734 --> 00:14:11,701 A patsy framed to hang for Moriarty's crimes, 238 00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:14,601 so that I may abandon my pursuit of him 239 00:14:14,734 --> 00:14:17,367 and he can begin life anew in America. 240 00:14:17,501 --> 00:14:21,133 Why would an innocent man agree to hang for Moriarty's crimes? 241 00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:24,734 Elementary. This man is terminally ill. 242 00:14:24,868 --> 00:14:27,567 Look at him. His pallid complexion. 243 00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:29,901 The palsy in his left hand. 244 00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:31,734 Wait. I know. He's an onanist. 245 00:14:31,868 --> 00:14:34,968 Yes, of the most enthusiastic kind. 246 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:36,501 MAN: What's an onanist? 247 00:14:36,634 --> 00:14:38,300 WATSON: He... Let's see. 248 00:14:38,434 --> 00:14:40,901 He pours his own tea. 249 00:14:42,801 --> 00:14:46,667 He likes to create his own sauce. 250 00:14:46,801 --> 00:14:50,267 - He is a saucier. - GALLERY: Huh? 251 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,868 And the name of his restaurant is Crotch Kitchen. 252 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,133 On a daily basis, he creams his own eclair. 253 00:14:57,267 --> 00:15:01,334 He is Romeo and Juliet. 254 00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,434 That should do it. 255 00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:06,167 - This here. - MAN: Oh, he's a wanker. 256 00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:07,334 WATSON: Thank you. 257 00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:09,200 Sorry, ladies. (CHUCKLES) 258 00:15:09,334 --> 00:15:12,667 This chap here had nothing to lose by being executed. 259 00:15:12,801 --> 00:15:15,501 He was literally dying by his own hand. 260 00:15:16,467 --> 00:15:17,968 It causes death, you see. 261 00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:21,200 The infallible Sherlock Holmes has indeed spoken. 262 00:15:21,334 --> 00:15:24,801 In light of his testimony, I order the release of the suspect. 263 00:15:24,934 --> 00:15:30,534 What? This is an outrage! Do not let this murderer free. 264 00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:33,968 Bang, bang, bang! Court is adjourned. 265 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,670 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 266 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:39,534 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 267 00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:41,334 Why are you cheering? 268 00:15:42,334 --> 00:15:43,868 Sherlock! 269 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,330 GALLERY: (CHANTING) Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 270 00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:48,666 WATSON: That couldn't have gone better. 271 00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:49,934 HOLMES: It couldn't have. 272 00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:51,500 And I tell you, that case was rather... 273 00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:54,267 It took us three years to catch him. 274 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,934 If we release him now, we may never find him again. 275 00:15:57,670 --> 00:16:00,400 Put aside your ego and admit I am right. 276 00:16:00,534 --> 00:16:04,467 I am afraid Moriarty's long gone to America. 277 00:16:04,601 --> 00:16:07,434 Whatever crimes Moriarty commits from now on 278 00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:08,868 are on your head. 279 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,100 WATSON: I quite like seeing Lestrade upset. 280 00:16:13,234 --> 00:16:15,000 (LAUGHS) Yeah. I do, too. 281 00:16:15,133 --> 00:16:16,801 (HORSE NEIGHS) 282 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,534 (VIOLIN PLAYING) 283 00:16:19,667 --> 00:16:23,200 WATSON: Professor James Moriarty fled to the Americas 284 00:16:23,334 --> 00:16:28,968 and would never darken England again. 285 00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,660 (VIOLIN PLAYING OFF-KEY) (HOLMES GROANS) 286 00:16:31,167 --> 00:16:32,834 (GRUNTING) 287 00:16:32,935 --> 00:16:36,350 _ 288 00:16:36,236 --> 00:16:41,236 _ _ 289 00:16:58,534 --> 00:16:59,834 Holmes. 290 00:17:00,634 --> 00:17:02,267 Are you upset? 291 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,500 It's just that Moriarty was the whetstone 292 00:17:04,634 --> 00:17:06,734 upon which I sharpened my mental blade. 293 00:17:06,867 --> 00:17:11,168 With him gone, not there to challenge me, why go on? 294 00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:14,340 Instead, I shall occupy my great, great mind 295 00:17:14,168 --> 00:17:16,400 with nutritional science. 296 00:17:16,534 --> 00:17:17,901 My research suggests 297 00:17:18,340 --> 00:17:20,667 that the sulfurous compounds of the common onion 298 00:17:20,801 --> 00:17:23,340 can increase your red blood cells. 299 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:24,634 Vital for human health. 300 00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:26,134 (GRUNTING) 301 00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:28,340 Just bite it like an apple, eh? Mmm-hmm. 302 00:17:28,168 --> 00:17:29,834 (HOLMES EXCLAIMING) (GASPING) 303 00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:31,834 (COUGHING, CHOKING) 304 00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:34,300 Definitely takes four or five bites. 305 00:17:34,434 --> 00:17:37,100 (GRUNTING) 306 00:17:37,134 --> 00:17:38,734 Are we meant to eat the whole thing? 307 00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:40,467 The whole thing. 308 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:44,680 Let the juice slither down the back of your throat. 309 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,500 (GAGGING) 310 00:17:46,634 --> 00:17:49,333 (COUGHING) Congratulations, Holmes. 311 00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:51,534 You're not only the smartest man in London, 312 00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:53,767 you shall soon be the healthiest. 313 00:17:53,901 --> 00:17:54,901 Indeed. 314 00:17:56,340 --> 00:17:59,101 Now, where's my opium? 315 00:17:59,233 --> 00:18:00,701 Um... (GROANS) 316 00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:01,767 Mrs. Hudson! 317 00:18:01,901 --> 00:18:03,934 Hudson! Hudson! 318 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:05,333 Help! 319 00:18:05,467 --> 00:18:07,534 Hudson, Watson has stuck a carrot up my bum! 320 00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:08,867 Hudson, help! 321 00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,934 Fire! Fire! Call the police! 322 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:12,667 Hudson, your mother has died! 323 00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,534 You brain-dead bag of bones! 324 00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:17,534 Hudson! Hudson! 325 00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:18,667 Hudson! 326 00:18:18,801 --> 00:18:20,667 Hudson, where are you? 327 00:18:20,801 --> 00:18:22,100 Uh... (SCOFFS) 328 00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:23,867 HOLMES: Did you not hear any of that? 329 00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,834 We screamed "fire." Where? 330 00:18:25,967 --> 00:18:27,534 And we were screaming your name. 331 00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:29,134 You were just there in my bedroom? 332 00:18:29,267 --> 00:18:30,300 (ZIPPER CLOSES) 333 00:18:30,934 --> 00:18:31,901 Oh. 334 00:18:33,134 --> 00:18:34,168 (SCOFFS) 335 00:18:34,369 --> 00:19:40,869 _ _ _ 336 00:19:40,932 --> 00:19:43,199 Shut up. Come on. 337 00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:46,766 No wonder my room always smells like fish pie and swamp. 338 00:19:49,832 --> 00:19:50,832 (DOOR CLOSES) 339 00:19:50,965 --> 00:19:52,333 This came for you. 340 00:19:52,466 --> 00:19:53,865 Hmm. 341 00:19:53,999 --> 00:19:57,199 Sealed by hands unused to manual labor. 342 00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:58,366 WATSON: Hmm. 343 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,299 Hmm. 344 00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:03,999 Saliva from a protein-rich diet of chicken kidneys. 345 00:20:04,132 --> 00:20:06,533 Why, Watson, it's from the Queen. 346 00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:08,320 (EXCLAIMS) Huh. 347 00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,399 Seems Her Majesty requests my services. 348 00:20:10,533 --> 00:20:13,366 A crime that has baffled even her closest advisors, 349 00:20:13,499 --> 00:20:16,333 and only my singular intellect can solve it. 350 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,733 Well, well, well, 351 00:20:17,865 --> 00:20:19,832 look who's back in the game. 352 00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,600 HOLMES: Watson, are you all right? 353 00:20:23,132 --> 00:20:24,865 WATSON: I'm just very nervous. 354 00:20:24,999 --> 00:20:26,865 I've not met the Queen before. 355 00:20:32,990 --> 00:20:33,533 Deep breath. Your Majesty, 356 00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,666 Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson. 357 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,266 (WATSON BREATHING HEAVILY) 358 00:20:38,399 --> 00:20:40,299 My God, it's really her. 359 00:20:45,965 --> 00:20:47,132 Shh. 360 00:20:49,965 --> 00:20:50,932 Watson. 361 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:52,965 Say something. 362 00:20:54,399 --> 00:20:55,633 I love you. 363 00:20:55,766 --> 00:20:58,899 I know I am duty-bound to serve you, but 364 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:00,633 let me just say, on a personal note, 365 00:21:00,766 --> 00:21:02,131 - I really like you. - HOLMES: Stop touching her. 366 00:21:02,132 --> 00:21:03,333 Just as a fan. 367 00:21:03,466 --> 00:21:05,232 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Please, sir. 368 00:21:05,366 --> 00:21:06,633 Don't touch the Queen. 369 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,999 Oh! 370 00:21:08,132 --> 00:21:09,666 Quite right. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 371 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,166 Sorry, Your Majesty. 372 00:21:11,299 --> 00:21:12,832 You look a lot smaller in person. 373 00:21:12,965 --> 00:21:14,633 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 374 00:21:14,766 --> 00:21:16,700 Just stop. Just stop. Sorry. It's true. 375 00:21:16,832 --> 00:21:17,999 Just stop talking. 376 00:21:18,132 --> 00:21:19,399 Yes. Stop talking. 377 00:21:20,533 --> 00:21:21,733 I'm crazy about your look. 378 00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,499 What did I say? 379 00:21:23,633 --> 00:21:26,166 Am I still talking out loud? You are. You are. 380 00:21:26,299 --> 00:21:27,932 It's just the Queen. (EXHALES) Yes. 381 00:21:28,660 --> 00:21:29,320 (WATSON SNORTS) 382 00:21:29,166 --> 00:21:30,766 - Okay? - WATSON: Okay. 383 00:21:30,899 --> 00:21:31,999 HOLMES: Your Majesty, 384 00:21:32,132 --> 00:21:35,199 how may we be of service to the realm? 385 00:21:35,333 --> 00:21:37,433 Mr. Holmes, pray follow us. 386 00:21:37,566 --> 00:21:39,433 There is danger about. 387 00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,433 (EXHALES) 388 00:21:41,566 --> 00:21:42,965 What a looker, right? 389 00:21:43,990 --> 00:21:45,499 She is stunning in person. (EXHALES) 390 00:21:47,433 --> 00:21:49,166 Fear not, Your Majesty, 391 00:21:49,299 --> 00:21:51,732 Sherlock will allow no harm to come to you, and neither will I. 392 00:21:51,733 --> 00:21:54,865 Five, four, three, 393 00:21:54,999 --> 00:21:56,700 two, one. 394 00:21:56,832 --> 00:21:58,633 ALL: Surprise! (APPLAUSE) 395 00:21:58,766 --> 00:22:01,320 Thank you. Thank you. 396 00:22:01,166 --> 00:22:03,533 Had I been a non-genius such as yourselves, 397 00:22:03,666 --> 00:22:06,800 there's a 72% chance I would have been surprised. 398 00:22:06,932 --> 00:22:08,832 Oh! 72%. (APPLAUSE) 399 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,633 Happy birthday, Sherlock Holmes. 400 00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:16,800 We wish you well and thank you for your many years... 401 00:22:16,932 --> 00:22:19,533 Your many years of public service. (CORK POPS) 402 00:22:21,166 --> 00:22:22,865 (CHUCKLING) 403 00:22:22,999 --> 00:22:24,566 So, Holmes. Yes. 404 00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:25,666 When did you know? 405 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,166 Tuesday. 406 00:22:27,299 --> 00:22:28,733 Really? 407 00:22:28,865 --> 00:22:30,800 You were seven minutes late coming home. 408 00:22:30,932 --> 00:22:32,965 (SNIFFING) Stopped at the stationer's, 409 00:22:33,990 --> 00:22:35,166 confirmed by the scent of paper mulch. 410 00:22:35,299 --> 00:22:36,799 (SIGHS) You have the nose of a bloodhound. 411 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,666 Your mustache betrayed a dusting of crumbs. 412 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,832 Evidence of cake sampling. 413 00:22:41,965 --> 00:22:43,965 (BOTH CHUCKLE) Guilty. 414 00:22:44,990 --> 00:22:47,433 And you purchased a case of pre-phylloxera champagne. 415 00:22:47,566 --> 00:22:51,299 You lack the self-esteem to buy yourself such an extravagant bottle. 416 00:22:51,433 --> 00:22:53,433 It's true. (CHUCKLES) 417 00:22:53,566 --> 00:22:55,266 I don't deserve nice things. 418 00:22:56,466 --> 00:22:59,299 (SINGERS HARMONIZING) 419 00:22:59,433 --> 00:23:03,333 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow 420 00:23:03,466 --> 00:23:06,999 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow 421 00:23:07,132 --> 00:23:09,700 ♪ And so say all of us ♪ 422 00:23:09,832 --> 00:23:11,800 (LAUGHS) Bravo. (APPLAUSE) 423 00:23:13,990 --> 00:23:14,399 Thank you. 424 00:23:14,533 --> 00:23:16,660 That was delightful. 425 00:23:16,965 --> 00:23:18,299 Oh, a layer cake. 426 00:23:18,433 --> 00:23:20,399 WATSON: It's shaped like a magnifying glass. 427 00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:21,533 Yes! 428 00:23:22,433 --> 00:23:24,865 (HOLMES GRUNTING) 429 00:23:24,999 --> 00:23:27,366 The second layer is rather thick. 430 00:23:27,499 --> 00:23:29,366 (GRUNTING) 431 00:23:29,499 --> 00:23:31,865 There must be a few nuts in there. Uh, if I may. 432 00:23:31,999 --> 00:23:34,800 Would you mind? Here. Yes, of course. 433 00:23:34,932 --> 00:23:36,132 (WATSON GRUNTS) (SQUISHING) 434 00:23:36,266 --> 00:23:37,465 Do you see what I'm talking about? 435 00:23:37,466 --> 00:23:38,832 Yes. Yes. 436 00:23:38,965 --> 00:23:41,320 Ah. Raspberry jam. 437 00:23:41,166 --> 00:23:42,965 Mmm. My weakness. 438 00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:45,266 I know what I need. 439 00:23:45,399 --> 00:23:46,932 MAN: What the... He's getting an ax! 440 00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:48,433 Brilliant. Charge! 441 00:23:48,566 --> 00:23:50,299 (SHOUTING) 442 00:23:50,433 --> 00:23:51,865 (CROWD GASPING) Oh! 443 00:23:51,999 --> 00:23:54,499 LESTRADE: Stand back. Back, everyone, I say. 444 00:23:54,633 --> 00:23:57,320 A murder in Buckingham Palace. 445 00:23:57,166 --> 00:23:58,666 Look, a note. There. 446 00:24:00,466 --> 00:24:01,800 Right under your nose. 447 00:24:07,932 --> 00:24:09,999 "A birthday present for you, Sherlock. 448 00:24:10,132 --> 00:24:12,299 "A crime to challenge your wits. 449 00:24:12,433 --> 00:24:14,399 "Stop me in four days' time, 450 00:24:14,533 --> 00:24:17,320 "or I will destroy London's greatest marvel and kill the Queen, 451 00:24:17,166 --> 00:24:19,666 "and I will rewrite history." 452 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,199 Signed "Professor James Moriarty." 453 00:24:22,333 --> 00:24:23,733 HOLMES: Hmm. 454 00:24:23,865 --> 00:24:25,499 This is Jimmy Gruber, 455 00:24:25,633 --> 00:24:27,132 the witness who disappeared, 456 00:24:27,266 --> 00:24:29,700 whose testimony prompted Moriarty's arrest 457 00:24:29,832 --> 00:24:32,333 and whom Moriarty swore to kill. 458 00:24:32,466 --> 00:24:33,832 And your conclusion? 459 00:24:36,566 --> 00:24:40,633 That Moriarty has killed again, as I predicted. 460 00:24:40,766 --> 00:24:43,320 Ah. The most obvious conclusion. 461 00:24:43,166 --> 00:24:44,599 (HOLMES AND WATSON SCOFFING) 462 00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:46,433 No, this is definitely the work 463 00:24:46,566 --> 00:24:49,199 of someone who is going to extraordinary lengths 464 00:24:49,333 --> 00:24:52,990 to make it appear as if Moriarty committed these crimes. 465 00:24:52,232 --> 00:24:54,166 - Sherlock Holmes. - HOLMES: The Queen. 466 00:24:55,932 --> 00:24:59,299 We charge you with the task of stopping this criminal 467 00:24:59,433 --> 00:25:01,366 before he can do us harm. 468 00:25:01,499 --> 00:25:04,999 Solve this case on behalf of your queen and country. 469 00:25:05,132 --> 00:25:06,199 - I will. - We will. 470 00:25:06,333 --> 00:25:07,566 But, Your Majesty... 471 00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:10,299 Sherlock Holmes has never failed us. 472 00:25:10,433 --> 00:25:12,366 The bold ingenuity of this crime 473 00:25:12,499 --> 00:25:14,533 calls me back to the profession 474 00:25:14,666 --> 00:25:16,399 of detecting like a siren song. 475 00:25:16,533 --> 00:25:18,253 I won't let anyone hurt you. (CLEARS THROAT) 476 00:25:18,299 --> 00:25:20,199 Watson. To the morgue. 477 00:25:20,333 --> 00:25:22,700 Lestrade, clean this mess up now. 478 00:25:22,832 --> 00:25:25,232 The game is a-starting. Yeah. 479 00:25:29,633 --> 00:25:32,733 HOLMES: Who is this copycat pretending to be Moriarty? 480 00:25:32,865 --> 00:25:35,299 Finally, a problem worthy of my brain. 481 00:25:35,433 --> 00:25:37,132 This birthday cake is delicious. 482 00:25:37,266 --> 00:25:38,533 Did you get a chance to try it? 483 00:25:38,666 --> 00:25:40,266 No, there was a corpse in it. Oh. 484 00:25:41,766 --> 00:25:44,533 (CLINKING) (COUGHS) 485 00:25:44,666 --> 00:25:45,932 Watson? 486 00:25:46,660 --> 00:25:47,320 Oh. 487 00:25:47,166 --> 00:25:48,932 Oh, my goodness. 488 00:25:49,660 --> 00:25:50,599 Oh. 489 00:25:50,733 --> 00:25:51,666 Finders keepers. 490 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,132 Yeah. 491 00:25:54,266 --> 00:25:56,980 Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait out here? 492 00:25:56,990 --> 00:25:57,732 The last time you were in the morgue, you... 493 00:25:57,733 --> 00:26:01,766 Watson, I am a man of stout constitution. 494 00:26:01,899 --> 00:26:04,700 Yes, of course. I just thought, after the last time, 495 00:26:04,832 --> 00:26:06,832 with the... 496 00:26:06,965 --> 00:26:08,999 And the... (SIGHS) 497 00:26:09,132 --> 00:26:11,199 Merely a bout of stomach influenza. 498 00:26:11,333 --> 00:26:12,566 Yes, but the time before that? 499 00:26:12,700 --> 00:26:14,899 Bad clams. And before that? 500 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:16,633 I shook hands with a prostitute. 501 00:26:16,766 --> 00:26:18,633 Yes. 502 00:26:18,766 --> 00:26:21,566 No, no. Put that away. 503 00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:26,700 I'm not some vaporous, giggling, fainting maiden who... 504 00:26:33,166 --> 00:26:34,533 Oh, ye of little... 505 00:26:34,666 --> 00:26:36,330 (RETCHING) 506 00:26:36,990 --> 00:26:37,299 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 507 00:26:37,366 --> 00:26:38,600 (REPRESSED RETCHING) 508 00:26:38,732 --> 00:26:40,299 I think I'm starting to feel a bit... 509 00:26:40,433 --> 00:26:41,799 (EXHALES) I wouldn't... 510 00:26:41,932 --> 00:26:43,832 Are you... No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. 511 00:26:43,966 --> 00:26:46,326 'Cause if you start to feel sick, then I'll start to feel... 512 00:26:46,433 --> 00:26:48,990 (RETCHING) 513 00:26:49,366 --> 00:26:51,233 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 514 00:26:51,366 --> 00:26:53,966 Surely, I must be done. Yes. 515 00:26:54,990 --> 00:26:55,899 Next to impossible to still... 516 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:57,399 (REPRESSED RETCHING) 517 00:27:02,999 --> 00:27:04,366 There you are. 518 00:27:04,499 --> 00:27:06,266 All done. Yes, there. 519 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:07,456 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 520 00:27:07,499 --> 00:27:09,450 Would you like some water? Did you say water... 521 00:27:09,465 --> 00:27:12,133 (RETCHES) Sorry. I'm sorry. 522 00:27:12,166 --> 00:27:14,265 Shall we begin the autopsy? 523 00:27:14,399 --> 00:27:16,466 Oh, thank goodness these cleaning women are here 524 00:27:16,599 --> 00:27:17,839 to clean up this dreadful mess. 525 00:27:17,866 --> 00:27:19,532 Someone's made sick. Oh. 526 00:27:19,666 --> 00:27:22,330 My dear Watson, these women 527 00:27:22,166 --> 00:27:23,966 are far too well-dressed to be cleaning women. 528 00:27:24,330 --> 00:27:28,330 They're here to identify their well-to-do husbands' bodies. 529 00:27:28,166 --> 00:27:29,566 Sorry for your loss. 530 00:27:29,699 --> 00:27:32,660 Thank you, but I am the doctor. 531 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,466 Look, Watson, grief has scrambled her brain. 532 00:27:35,599 --> 00:27:37,432 Mmm. She thinks she's a doctor. 533 00:27:37,566 --> 00:27:40,733 Fortunately, Miss, there's a real doctor here 534 00:27:40,866 --> 00:27:42,265 who may help you. 535 00:27:42,399 --> 00:27:43,999 Would you like some heroin? 536 00:27:44,133 --> 00:27:46,166 Dr. Watson, I presume. 537 00:27:46,299 --> 00:27:48,432 And you must be Sherlock Holmes. 538 00:27:48,566 --> 00:27:51,990 Dr. Grace Hart of Boston. 539 00:27:51,332 --> 00:27:52,933 A woman doctor? 540 00:27:53,660 --> 00:27:55,766 - What times we live in. - GRACE: (CHUCKLES) Yes. 541 00:27:55,899 --> 00:27:58,332 In America, we're much more progressive. 542 00:27:58,466 --> 00:28:01,200 I now make 30 cents for every dollar a man earns. 543 00:28:01,365 --> 00:28:03,899 What does "doctor" mean in America? 544 00:28:04,330 --> 00:28:05,733 It means "doctor." 545 00:28:05,866 --> 00:28:07,766 You're Dr. G. Hart? 546 00:28:07,899 --> 00:28:09,632 Of Boston? Yes. 547 00:28:09,766 --> 00:28:12,265 Holmes, we're in the presence of a pioneer. 548 00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:15,660 Dr. Hart's work with the use of electroshock therapy 549 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,432 to cure female hysteria is groundbreaking. 550 00:28:17,566 --> 00:28:21,432 Yes, I proved the higher the voltage, the more demons are released. 551 00:28:21,566 --> 00:28:22,766 Well, of course. 552 00:28:22,899 --> 00:28:24,766 Some of my patients live as long as a week. 553 00:28:24,899 --> 00:28:27,432 "Doctor"? Spelled D-O-C-T-O-R? 554 00:28:27,566 --> 00:28:29,432 Yes. (EXHALES) 555 00:28:29,566 --> 00:28:31,866 This is my aide, Millicent. 556 00:28:31,999 --> 00:28:35,733 She's very shy, but a wonderful traveling companion. 557 00:28:35,866 --> 00:28:39,330 Shall we proceed to the examination? (CHUCKLES) 558 00:28:39,166 --> 00:28:41,100 Please. Our cadaver awaits. 559 00:28:41,232 --> 00:28:43,100 (REPRESSED RETCHING) 560 00:28:43,232 --> 00:28:44,566 No, no, no. 561 00:28:44,699 --> 00:28:46,599 Here. 562 00:28:46,733 --> 00:28:48,699 Mr. Holmes, you look rather unwell. 563 00:28:48,833 --> 00:28:51,933 Perhaps you would rather stay here and keep Millicent company. 564 00:28:55,133 --> 00:28:56,332 Sherlock Holmes. 565 00:28:56,466 --> 00:28:57,986 Charmed to meet... (REPRESSED RETCHING) 566 00:29:00,660 --> 00:29:01,866 To meet you. 567 00:29:01,999 --> 00:29:03,999 GRACE: Millicent is the subject of my research. 568 00:29:04,133 --> 00:29:06,166 She was raised by feral cats. 569 00:29:06,299 --> 00:29:08,432 She has the mental capacity of a four-year-old, 570 00:29:08,566 --> 00:29:11,566 but it is my belief that, with sufficient electroshock therapy, 571 00:29:11,699 --> 00:29:14,466 she can achieve the intellect of a six-year-old. 572 00:29:14,599 --> 00:29:16,599 (SIGHS) We are truly in the golden age of medicine. 573 00:29:16,699 --> 00:29:18,299 (CHUCKLES) There's nothing left to learn. 574 00:29:18,332 --> 00:29:19,299 No. 575 00:29:21,265 --> 00:29:22,866 HOLMES: What a creature you are. 576 00:29:24,660 --> 00:29:25,100 (CHUCKLES) 577 00:29:26,265 --> 00:29:27,599 (ONION CRUNCHING) 578 00:29:33,733 --> 00:29:36,799 You're devouring that onion with such passion. 579 00:29:39,899 --> 00:29:41,399 It's strangely arousing. 580 00:29:42,999 --> 00:29:44,799 Dr. Watson, I have always been taken 581 00:29:44,833 --> 00:29:47,799 by your unwavering devotion to Mr. Holmes, 582 00:29:47,833 --> 00:29:51,765 but haven't you ever considered something more? 583 00:29:52,466 --> 00:29:54,899 Perhaps a co-detective? 584 00:29:57,133 --> 00:29:58,733 He and I? 585 00:29:58,866 --> 00:29:59,933 Co-detectives? 586 00:30:00,660 --> 00:30:01,100 Yes. 587 00:30:01,232 --> 00:30:03,332 (LAUGHS) Oh, the very idea! 588 00:30:03,466 --> 00:30:06,866 Uh... Solving crimes together? 589 00:30:06,999 --> 00:30:09,200 Laughing and enjoying the esprit de corps 590 00:30:09,332 --> 00:30:11,933 of two best friends pursuing a noble cause! 591 00:30:12,660 --> 00:30:13,566 Madness. No, dear. 592 00:30:13,699 --> 00:30:16,133 No. No, not I. 593 00:30:17,432 --> 00:30:19,532 Not here. 594 00:30:19,666 --> 00:30:23,866 Not even in my most rapturous moments of private fantasy. 595 00:30:28,365 --> 00:30:30,232 (SIGHS) 596 00:30:30,365 --> 00:30:33,265 Anyway, let's go clean this cake-covered bastard, shall we? 597 00:30:37,166 --> 00:30:39,100 WATSON: The wonders of modern medicine. 598 00:30:43,166 --> 00:30:45,432 Now, you're going to laugh, 599 00:30:45,566 --> 00:30:47,733 but I found the most important tool of an autopsy is... 600 00:30:47,866 --> 00:30:48,933 Music. 601 00:30:50,365 --> 00:30:51,566 Yes. 602 00:30:51,699 --> 00:30:52,733 You, too? 603 00:30:55,365 --> 00:30:56,399 (CHUCKLES) 604 00:30:59,899 --> 00:31:02,499 MAN: ♪ Oh, my love ♪ 605 00:31:02,632 --> 00:31:04,566 This one always gets me in the mood. 606 00:31:06,899 --> 00:31:08,599 So begins the dance. 607 00:31:17,332 --> 00:31:19,632 (CHUCKLES) You have some dribble. Hmm? 608 00:31:19,766 --> 00:31:22,330 Just a touch of dribble right... (SNAPS) 609 00:31:22,166 --> 00:31:23,200 (GASPS) 610 00:31:28,699 --> 00:31:32,933 ♪ And time goes by... ♪ 611 00:31:33,660 --> 00:31:37,466 There is something so sensual about forensic autopsy, isn't there? 612 00:32:00,966 --> 00:32:02,733 You are a delight. 613 00:32:02,866 --> 00:32:06,399 Your eyes say more than words ever could. 614 00:32:06,532 --> 00:32:09,666 (DOOR OPENS) (CHUCKLES, SNIFFING) 615 00:32:09,799 --> 00:32:11,660 Hmm. (DOOR CLOSES) 616 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:15,532 The tincture of ammonia and scrotum. 617 00:32:15,666 --> 00:32:17,566 Hello, Inspector Lestrade. 618 00:32:19,766 --> 00:32:21,299 We have combed the manifests 619 00:32:21,432 --> 00:32:24,265 of every ship to set sail for the Americas 620 00:32:24,399 --> 00:32:27,499 and found not a single Moriarty. 621 00:32:27,632 --> 00:32:30,733 Moriarty's too cunning to use his own name. 622 00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:32,699 He's sailing under an alias. 623 00:32:32,833 --> 00:32:34,732 (BLADES CLINK) WATSON: (PANTING) Ah, here we are. 624 00:32:34,733 --> 00:32:37,330 So, after a thorough... 625 00:32:37,166 --> 00:32:38,466 Very thorough. 626 00:32:38,599 --> 00:32:40,299 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 627 00:32:40,432 --> 00:32:42,399 Stop. (CHUCKLES) No, you stop. 628 00:32:42,532 --> 00:32:45,200 (CLEARS THROAT) Examination of the body... 629 00:32:45,332 --> 00:32:47,632 And I must say, Dr. Hart made some 630 00:32:47,766 --> 00:32:49,833 beautiful lateral incisions there. 631 00:32:49,966 --> 00:32:54,999 No, watching you flay the skin from his face so gently! 632 00:32:55,133 --> 00:32:57,399 I would flay 1,000 faces for you. And the way... 633 00:32:57,532 --> 00:32:59,399 Just tell me what you found! 634 00:32:59,532 --> 00:33:01,200 (CLEARS THROAT) Yes. 635 00:33:01,365 --> 00:33:02,866 Cause of death indeterminate. 636 00:33:02,999 --> 00:33:04,265 LESTRADE: Indeterminate? 637 00:33:04,399 --> 00:33:05,666 What do you mean? 638 00:33:05,799 --> 00:33:08,660 It means he doesn't know. 639 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:09,899 - Proceed, Watson. - WATSON: Yes. 640 00:33:10,330 --> 00:33:14,330 We found a freshly applied tattoo of a cross 641 00:33:14,166 --> 00:33:16,866 and the numbers one and 20. 642 00:33:16,999 --> 00:33:19,100 I have the oddest feeling. 643 00:33:19,232 --> 00:33:21,532 It's like knowing, but the opposite. 644 00:33:21,666 --> 00:33:23,365 Meaning you haven't a clue. 645 00:33:23,499 --> 00:33:26,599 Who is this genius pretender who's taken Moriarty's place, 646 00:33:26,733 --> 00:33:30,866 committing crimes exactly the way he would? (SIGHS) 647 00:33:30,999 --> 00:33:32,899 HOLMES: A fantastic new case. 648 00:33:33,330 --> 00:33:35,265 I'm aroused both mentally and physically. 649 00:33:35,399 --> 00:33:39,330 I was wondering, rather than working beside you on this case, 650 00:33:39,166 --> 00:33:41,899 I might work with you as a sort of... 651 00:33:42,330 --> 00:33:44,100 Grace called it a "co-detective." 652 00:33:44,232 --> 00:33:48,100 One cannot simply just make someone a detective. 653 00:33:48,232 --> 00:33:49,532 It must be earned. 654 00:33:49,666 --> 00:33:52,660 Well, I deduced you might say that, 655 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,599 which is why, when we arrive home, 656 00:33:54,733 --> 00:33:57,699 I propose a game of chess. 657 00:33:57,833 --> 00:33:59,232 If I should best you, 658 00:33:59,365 --> 00:34:01,265 then surely I possess the mental power... 659 00:34:01,399 --> 00:34:03,833 Checkmate! Checkmate. 660 00:34:03,966 --> 00:34:06,332 What? We haven't started yet. 661 00:34:06,466 --> 00:34:08,165 You would have opened with the Queen's Gambit. 662 00:34:08,166 --> 00:34:10,265 Oh, indeed. A reliable first move. 663 00:34:10,399 --> 00:34:12,650 I would have countered with a Slav Defense. 664 00:34:12,660 --> 00:34:14,899 Oh! An audacious move. Quite unexpected. 665 00:34:15,330 --> 00:34:17,432 You would have panicked, thus exposing your queen. 666 00:34:17,566 --> 00:34:18,532 No, not my queen! 667 00:34:18,666 --> 00:34:20,660 Seeing your queen exposed 668 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,100 would have compelled you to defend her. 669 00:34:22,232 --> 00:34:25,133 Indeed. It is my duty in chess as in life. 670 00:34:25,265 --> 00:34:27,265 Thereby neglecting my castle. 671 00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:28,733 (GASPS) 672 00:34:29,532 --> 00:34:30,733 Checkmate. 673 00:34:32,330 --> 00:34:33,265 Perhaps another game? 674 00:34:33,399 --> 00:34:35,200 Rock-paper-scissors. 675 00:34:35,332 --> 00:34:37,699 Rock, rock, paper, paper, scissors, paper, 676 00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:39,899 rock, scissors, paper, rock. (GASPS) 677 00:34:40,766 --> 00:34:41,766 Dash it all! 678 00:34:41,899 --> 00:34:43,200 What about Battleship? 679 00:34:43,332 --> 00:34:45,866 HOLMES: D-3, E-3, F-3, and G-3. 680 00:34:45,999 --> 00:34:48,100 WATSON: Damn it, you've sunk my battleship. 681 00:34:48,232 --> 00:34:50,632 HOLMES: You're a good man, Watson, 682 00:34:50,766 --> 00:34:52,232 but you're not ready. 683 00:34:53,532 --> 00:34:54,733 But why? 684 00:34:54,866 --> 00:34:57,166 If you were ready, you'd know why. 685 00:35:07,966 --> 00:35:09,999 WATSON: Let the game begin. 686 00:35:10,133 --> 00:35:12,232 A piece for a piece. 687 00:35:12,365 --> 00:35:13,899 Two can play at that game. 688 00:35:28,933 --> 00:35:30,660 (GRUNTS SOFTLY) 689 00:35:33,566 --> 00:35:34,599 Mmm. 690 00:35:34,733 --> 00:35:35,766 (GRUNTS) 691 00:35:37,332 --> 00:35:38,432 Peekaboo. 692 00:35:40,432 --> 00:35:41,432 (SNAPPING) 693 00:35:41,566 --> 00:35:44,232 Ah. Checkmate. 694 00:35:44,365 --> 00:35:46,632 And to the victor, the spoils. 695 00:35:47,265 --> 00:35:48,632 (GIGGLES) 696 00:35:48,766 --> 00:35:50,265 (SIGHS) 697 00:35:50,399 --> 00:35:51,865 (IN GRACE'S VOICE) You'll never be co-detective. 698 00:35:51,866 --> 00:35:54,660 (SCREAMS, GASPING) 699 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,100 (HORSE NEIGHING) 700 00:35:56,232 --> 00:35:57,833 (CUP CLINKING) 701 00:35:57,966 --> 00:36:00,833 Watson, I'm near a breakthrough. 702 00:36:00,966 --> 00:36:03,399 My hypothesis is the true cause of death 703 00:36:03,532 --> 00:36:06,733 is ink poisoning via the fresh tattoo. 704 00:36:06,866 --> 00:36:08,265 But I need your help. 705 00:36:10,866 --> 00:36:12,332 You want me to be co-detective? 706 00:36:12,466 --> 00:36:13,933 (LAUGHS) Mmm-mmm. 707 00:36:14,660 --> 00:36:16,933 I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Watson. 708 00:36:17,660 --> 00:36:18,232 Sorry for what? 709 00:36:18,365 --> 00:36:20,660 Mr. Holmes left me no choice. 710 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,532 May you rest in peace. What's she on about? 711 00:36:22,666 --> 00:36:26,532 All will be clear in three, two, one. 712 00:36:26,666 --> 00:36:27,866 (GASPS) 713 00:36:28,933 --> 00:36:29,899 Excuse me. (COUGHS) 714 00:36:30,330 --> 00:36:31,733 I'll take that. 715 00:36:31,866 --> 00:36:33,826 (CHOKING) It's just something caught in my throat. 716 00:36:33,833 --> 00:36:35,330 Oh, no. 717 00:36:35,166 --> 00:36:36,365 I poisoned you. 718 00:36:36,499 --> 00:36:37,766 (HOARSELY) Why? 719 00:36:37,899 --> 00:36:39,399 To test my theory. (WHEEZING) 720 00:36:39,532 --> 00:36:41,330 Am I going to die? 721 00:36:41,166 --> 00:36:42,532 No, I have an antidote. 722 00:36:42,666 --> 00:36:44,933 Oh. But I need to see it play out. 723 00:36:45,733 --> 00:36:47,532 Now, let's see here. 724 00:36:47,666 --> 00:36:49,306 (WHEEZING) Redness around the mouth. Good. 725 00:36:49,399 --> 00:36:50,599 (GASPING) Help me. 726 00:36:50,733 --> 00:36:53,100 You will have temporary brain damage. 727 00:36:54,966 --> 00:36:56,699 Wake up, Watson. Wake up. (SQUEALS) 728 00:36:56,833 --> 00:36:58,999 We have work to do. Watson. 729 00:36:59,133 --> 00:37:00,899 Who's Watson? I'll kill him! 730 00:37:01,330 --> 00:37:02,200 You son of a bitch! 731 00:37:02,332 --> 00:37:03,372 (YELLS) Violent aggression. 732 00:37:03,499 --> 00:37:05,365 Oh, please give me the antidote. 733 00:37:05,499 --> 00:37:06,699 Drama queen syndrome. 734 00:37:06,833 --> 00:37:09,330 Why am I doing this? 735 00:37:09,166 --> 00:37:10,332 Confused mime. 736 00:37:10,466 --> 00:37:13,332 Oh! Does this suit make me look fat? 737 00:37:13,466 --> 00:37:15,660 Body image dysmorphia. 738 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:16,899 (SCREAMS) My eyes! 739 00:37:17,330 --> 00:37:19,166 Sensitivity to light. My eyes! It burns! 740 00:37:19,299 --> 00:37:20,566 (SCREAMING) 741 00:37:20,699 --> 00:37:23,200 Excruciating abdominal pain. (GROANING) 742 00:37:23,332 --> 00:37:24,766 Yes, it's confirmed. 743 00:37:24,899 --> 00:37:26,866 It was poison. Come, Watson. 744 00:37:26,999 --> 00:37:28,365 Let us not be late. 745 00:37:28,499 --> 00:37:29,899 (GROANING) 746 00:37:30,330 --> 00:37:31,299 Oh! Of course. 747 00:37:31,432 --> 00:37:32,466 Lactation. 748 00:37:32,599 --> 00:37:34,299 (GROANING) 749 00:37:34,432 --> 00:37:36,265 Why? Come along, Watson. 750 00:37:36,399 --> 00:37:37,632 I'll explain in the cab. 751 00:37:40,866 --> 00:37:41,966 (COUGHS) There we go. 752 00:37:42,100 --> 00:37:43,799 Oh, thank God for this antidote. 753 00:37:43,933 --> 00:37:46,299 I feel as though I've completely recovered. (SIGHS) 754 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:48,566 Yes, you have. 755 00:37:48,699 --> 00:37:49,766 (WATSON SIGHS) 756 00:37:51,265 --> 00:37:52,399 There. 757 00:37:52,532 --> 00:37:53,632 So where are we going? 758 00:37:53,766 --> 00:37:55,766 The fact that the victim was poisoned 759 00:37:55,899 --> 00:37:59,766 suggests the killer lacked physical strength to overpower him. 760 00:37:59,899 --> 00:38:03,100 The tattoos you examined have an uneven quality. 761 00:38:03,232 --> 00:38:06,866 It leads me to believe that they were drawn by a one-armed man. 762 00:38:06,999 --> 00:38:09,365 A one-armed man. 763 00:38:09,499 --> 00:38:10,766 Yes. 764 00:38:10,899 --> 00:38:12,833 A weak man who would use poison. 765 00:38:12,966 --> 00:38:17,766 There is only one one-armed tattoo artist in all of London. 766 00:38:17,899 --> 00:38:21,660 The nefarious Gustav Klinger. 767 00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:24,166 Dorset Street! And don't spare the horses! 768 00:38:24,299 --> 00:38:25,666 (WHIP CRACKS) Dorset Street. 769 00:38:25,799 --> 00:38:29,432 Home of drunkards, thieves, and hairy, old whores. 770 00:38:29,566 --> 00:38:32,265 HOLMES: And, if my theory is correct, the killer. 771 00:38:32,399 --> 00:38:35,699 (WATSON LAUGHS) WOMAN: Hello, gorgeous. 772 00:38:35,833 --> 00:38:39,566 Though all is calm now, we must be on highest alert. 773 00:38:39,699 --> 00:38:41,399 (CARRIAGE DRIVER GROANS) 774 00:38:41,532 --> 00:38:44,699 Shall we ask someone if they've seen our one-armed Mr. Klinger? 775 00:38:44,833 --> 00:38:48,232 This neighborhood does not welcome curious outsiders. 776 00:38:48,365 --> 00:38:50,200 Excuse me. Have you the time? 777 00:38:50,332 --> 00:38:53,632 Not for you, outsider. (YELLS IN PAIN) 778 00:38:53,766 --> 00:38:55,365 Merciful God. 779 00:38:55,499 --> 00:38:57,330 HOLMES: We must blend in. 780 00:38:57,166 --> 00:38:59,733 Fortunately, my time tripping the boards 781 00:38:59,866 --> 00:39:01,186 has made me a master of disguise. 782 00:39:01,232 --> 00:39:02,232 Yes. 783 00:39:08,966 --> 00:39:09,933 WATSON: You. 784 00:39:10,660 --> 00:39:11,699 What have you done with Sherlock? 785 00:39:11,833 --> 00:39:12,866 Why, Watson, 786 00:39:14,660 --> 00:39:15,365 I never left. 787 00:39:15,499 --> 00:39:17,332 (GASPS) 788 00:39:17,466 --> 00:39:19,100 Amazing. Yes, I know. 789 00:39:19,232 --> 00:39:21,499 Yes, you've outdone yourself this time. 790 00:39:21,632 --> 00:39:23,365 Now... 791 00:39:23,499 --> 00:39:24,699 Huh? No. 792 00:39:24,833 --> 00:39:26,232 Still me. It's you? 793 00:39:26,365 --> 00:39:27,999 It's still Sherlock. 794 00:39:28,133 --> 00:39:30,330 All right. Rest assured. 795 00:39:30,166 --> 00:39:31,432 It's very convincing. 796 00:39:31,566 --> 00:39:33,265 Now for your disguise. 797 00:39:33,399 --> 00:39:35,200 Oh, what will it be? 798 00:39:35,332 --> 00:39:36,899 (HOLMES LAUGHS) 799 00:39:37,330 --> 00:39:41,330 Yes. You, my friend, 800 00:39:41,166 --> 00:39:46,466 shall play a down-on-your-luck horseshit salesman. 801 00:39:46,599 --> 00:39:48,699 Oh. Yes. 802 00:39:48,833 --> 00:39:50,532 Yes. Yes. 803 00:39:50,666 --> 00:39:53,599 Come, Watson. We have a one-armed killer to catch. 804 00:39:53,733 --> 00:39:55,265 Get into character. 805 00:39:55,399 --> 00:39:57,990 - WATSON: Horseshit for sale! - HOLMES: There you go. 806 00:39:57,100 --> 00:39:59,199 - WATSON: Who will buy my horse's shit? - MAN: I'll take some. 807 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,660 No one must know our true purpose. Mmm. 808 00:40:03,330 --> 00:40:04,532 What you toffs want? 809 00:40:04,666 --> 00:40:08,699 To buy a pint for any man who can raise two hands. 810 00:40:08,833 --> 00:40:11,833 (MEN CHEERING) 811 00:40:11,966 --> 00:40:14,265 Every man has both arms. 812 00:40:14,399 --> 00:40:15,566 Klinger isn't here. 813 00:40:16,466 --> 00:40:18,499 Our journey continues. 814 00:40:18,632 --> 00:40:21,660 Blend in like a common oaf. Yes. 815 00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,999 (LIVELY CHATTER, LAUGHTER) 816 00:40:23,133 --> 00:40:24,866 HOLMES: Keep drinking. We need to fit in. 817 00:40:24,999 --> 00:40:26,330 Cheers. 818 00:40:26,166 --> 00:40:27,265 (MUSIC PLAYING) 819 00:40:27,399 --> 00:40:28,599 Cheers! 820 00:40:28,733 --> 00:40:30,499 More, more, more! (LAUGHING) 821 00:40:32,466 --> 00:40:34,432 (LAUGHING) (ALL CHEERING) 822 00:40:34,566 --> 00:40:36,660 Oi! Oi! Oi! 823 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,799 (RHYTHMIC TAPPING) 824 00:40:39,933 --> 00:40:41,532 (BOTH BARKING) 825 00:40:41,666 --> 00:40:42,899 (HOWLS) 826 00:40:43,330 --> 00:40:44,399 They have boxing here. (EXCLAIMS) 827 00:40:44,532 --> 00:40:45,933 WATSON: I don't care if he's small! 828 00:40:46,660 --> 00:40:47,599 - WATSON: Kill! - WOMAN: Come on, fight! 829 00:40:50,166 --> 00:40:51,598 Shouldn't we be looking for Klinger? 830 00:40:51,599 --> 00:40:53,733 Who cares about Klinger? Exactly! 831 00:40:53,866 --> 00:40:55,466 (GROANS, SCREAMS) 832 00:40:56,499 --> 00:40:57,466 (SCREAMS) 833 00:40:57,599 --> 00:40:58,766 Release the child! 834 00:40:58,899 --> 00:41:00,699 Let go of that boy! I want him dead! 835 00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:02,399 WATSON: Sweet river of piss. 836 00:41:02,532 --> 00:41:04,733 (BOTH SIGH) 837 00:41:04,866 --> 00:41:06,232 You have real force there. 838 00:41:07,499 --> 00:41:08,866 Arc of stream. 839 00:41:08,999 --> 00:41:10,365 Direction of wind. 840 00:41:10,499 --> 00:41:12,265 Compensate for shy penis. 841 00:41:12,399 --> 00:41:14,699 Avoid splash on shoes. 842 00:41:14,833 --> 00:41:16,733 (GRUNTS) And release fluids. 843 00:41:16,866 --> 00:41:18,365 Oh, my goodness. 844 00:41:18,499 --> 00:41:21,866 Damn it, I forgot to unzip my pants. 845 00:41:21,999 --> 00:41:23,532 You really are a genius. 846 00:41:23,666 --> 00:41:25,933 Oh, watch it. Oh, sorry. 847 00:41:26,660 --> 00:41:27,899 WATSON: I should like to send a telegram. 848 00:41:28,699 --> 00:41:30,365 Grace. Stop. 849 00:41:32,566 --> 00:41:34,833 Are you awake? Stop. (HOLMES CHUCKLING) 850 00:41:37,332 --> 00:41:39,599 Uh, you're such a pretty doctor lady. 851 00:41:39,733 --> 00:41:41,399 Ooh! (WATSON CHUCKLES) 852 00:41:41,532 --> 00:41:43,133 Are you quite sure this is a good idea? 853 00:41:43,265 --> 00:41:44,766 (SLURRING) This is wonderful. 854 00:41:44,899 --> 00:41:47,933 The combination of the late hour and your drunkenness 855 00:41:48,660 --> 00:41:51,432 allows for communication of exceptional honesty. 856 00:41:51,566 --> 00:41:52,532 Quite right. 857 00:41:52,666 --> 00:41:54,299 I will call it an intoxigram. 858 00:41:54,432 --> 00:41:57,200 And no one shall ever regret sending one. 859 00:41:57,332 --> 00:42:00,330 Now, lay bare the fruits of your inebriation. 860 00:42:00,166 --> 00:42:01,766 Ask her what she's wearing. 861 00:42:01,899 --> 00:42:04,200 What are you wearing? Stop. 862 00:42:04,232 --> 00:42:04,966 Bloomers? 863 00:42:04,999 --> 00:42:06,733 A brassiere? (CHUCKLES) 864 00:42:06,766 --> 00:42:09,133 I'd wager you'd look good in anything. 865 00:42:09,266 --> 00:42:10,532 Wonderful. Stop. 866 00:42:10,566 --> 00:42:12,532 Shall I ask what Millie thinks about you? 867 00:42:12,666 --> 00:42:14,432 Um... 868 00:42:14,566 --> 00:42:16,733 (SIGHS) I don't care. Sure. Why not? 869 00:42:16,866 --> 00:42:18,999 What does Millie think of Sherlock? 870 00:42:19,133 --> 00:42:22,733 Does Millie ever drip wax over her body? 871 00:42:22,866 --> 00:42:25,365 Hot wax. Stop. 872 00:42:25,499 --> 00:42:27,165 - Okay. That's enough. - WATSON: Yeah, I think so. 873 00:42:27,166 --> 00:42:40,346 _ _ _ 874 00:42:40,366 --> 00:42:44,300 Now show her how she makes you feel. Huh? 875 00:42:44,432 --> 00:42:46,330 Just go ahead. Display it. 876 00:42:46,166 --> 00:42:47,233 (UNZIPS PANTS) 877 00:42:47,366 --> 00:42:48,300 There. (THUD ON TABLE) 878 00:42:48,301 --> 00:42:53,100 _ _ _ 879 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:54,533 Telegraph a picture of this. 880 00:42:54,666 --> 00:42:57,699 And make sure you get the banger and the beans. 881 00:42:57,833 --> 00:42:59,332 Focus on the mushroom. 882 00:42:59,466 --> 00:43:02,000 Are you positive I shan't regret this in the morning? 883 00:43:02,132 --> 00:43:03,933 (CHUCKLES) You absolutely will. 884 00:43:04,650 --> 00:43:05,566 Silence, you! Say it again. 885 00:43:05,699 --> 00:43:06,900 Say it again. I dare you. Oh! 886 00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:08,599 Please say it. Please say it again. 887 00:43:08,733 --> 00:43:10,198 Do you think you would be the first man I've killed? 888 00:43:10,199 --> 00:43:12,320 I have the penis of a baby doll. 889 00:43:15,566 --> 00:43:17,990 It's just a statement of fact. 890 00:43:19,650 --> 00:43:20,232 (ROOSTER CROWS) 891 00:43:20,366 --> 00:43:22,320 (HOLMES AND WATSON CHUCKLING) 892 00:43:22,165 --> 00:43:23,900 Oh, well, Watson, 893 00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,399 after a night of drinking, I could eat a whole pie. 894 00:43:26,533 --> 00:43:28,666 WATSON: Oh, no, it's cakes for me, my friend. 895 00:43:28,799 --> 00:43:30,232 Ah! Cakes, indeed! 896 00:43:30,366 --> 00:43:34,499 Yes. Yes, cakes stacked on cakes. 897 00:43:34,633 --> 00:43:36,499 We should open a restaurant called 898 00:43:36,633 --> 00:43:40,399 the International House of Cakes Stacked Upon Other Cakes. 899 00:43:40,533 --> 00:43:43,533 (CHUCKLING) Yes, and you can only eat there after a night of drinking. 900 00:43:43,666 --> 00:43:45,765 Well, speaking of the night, I fear it's a night wasted. 901 00:43:45,766 --> 00:43:47,499 No sign of Klinger anywhere. Mmm. 902 00:43:48,666 --> 00:43:50,466 Not so fast, Watson. 903 00:43:50,599 --> 00:43:53,399 Look at those two men and their tattoos. 904 00:43:53,533 --> 00:43:55,320 I don't understand. 905 00:43:55,165 --> 00:43:57,533 We haven't been able to find the tattoo artist. 906 00:43:57,666 --> 00:44:00,900 Perhaps we should follow the tattoos. 907 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,332 (GRUNTING, INDISTINCT CHATTER) 908 00:44:04,566 --> 00:44:05,866 WATSON: A gymnasium? 909 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,933 You really think Klinger would be here, Holmes? 910 00:44:08,650 --> 00:44:11,320 Look alive, Watson. He could be anywhere. 911 00:44:11,165 --> 00:44:13,599 TRAINER: Three, two, one. 912 00:44:13,733 --> 00:44:16,266 Pick it up. Pick it up. That's it. 913 00:44:16,399 --> 00:44:18,599 INSTRUCTOR: Out with the bad air, in with the good. 914 00:44:18,733 --> 00:44:20,266 WATSON: Look at these health nuts. 915 00:44:20,399 --> 00:44:22,232 (MEN COUGHING) INSTRUCTOR: Big deep breath. 916 00:44:22,366 --> 00:44:24,640 WATSON: Obsessed with the purifying effects of smoke. 917 00:44:24,650 --> 00:44:27,666 INSTRUCTOR: All right, good lungful of the cleansing vapors. 918 00:44:27,799 --> 00:44:30,466 (EXHALES) I don't think he's here, Holmes. 919 00:44:30,599 --> 00:44:32,666 (DOOR OPENS) MAN: Hello, hello, hello! 920 00:44:32,799 --> 00:44:34,633 Sherlock Holmes. 921 00:44:34,766 --> 00:44:36,199 HOLMES: Ah. 922 00:44:36,332 --> 00:44:37,966 You must be Gustav Klinger, 923 00:44:38,990 --> 00:44:41,132 the one-armed tattoo artist of Dorset Street. 924 00:44:41,266 --> 00:44:43,650 Looks like it. 925 00:44:43,199 --> 00:44:45,000 (WHIRRING) 926 00:44:45,132 --> 00:44:48,499 Gustav Klinger, I accuse you of poisoning Jimmy Gruber 927 00:44:48,633 --> 00:44:50,699 and baking him into a large cake. 928 00:44:50,833 --> 00:44:55,232 A deliciously large cake that I baked myself. 929 00:44:55,366 --> 00:44:56,799 Oh, please. 930 00:44:56,933 --> 00:44:58,232 How dare you! 931 00:44:58,366 --> 00:45:00,533 You did not bake that cake. 932 00:45:00,666 --> 00:45:03,165 Not only did I bake it. I decorated it, too. 933 00:45:03,299 --> 00:45:04,399 Impossible. 934 00:45:04,533 --> 00:45:05,773 It's got a frosting attachment. 935 00:45:05,833 --> 00:45:07,533 You're trying to tell me 936 00:45:07,666 --> 00:45:10,199 that a one-armed man made a professional, bakery-quality cake 937 00:45:10,332 --> 00:45:11,499 fit for the Queen. Watson. 938 00:45:11,633 --> 00:45:13,833 It's just... It... It doesn't matter 939 00:45:13,966 --> 00:45:15,698 if he baked the cake or not. It really bugs... I know. 940 00:45:15,699 --> 00:45:16,999 - It really... - WATSON: Best cake I've ever eaten. 941 00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,320 I did bake the cake. All right, fine. 942 00:45:19,165 --> 00:45:20,699 You "baked the cake." 943 00:45:20,833 --> 00:45:23,199 I didn't "bake a cake." 944 00:45:24,650 --> 00:45:25,990 I baked a cake. 945 00:45:25,232 --> 00:45:26,566 Then you admit it. 946 00:45:26,699 --> 00:45:28,366 You killed Jimmy Gruber. 947 00:45:28,499 --> 00:45:30,466 KLINGER: And what if I did, Mr. Holmes? 948 00:45:30,599 --> 00:45:33,566 It's not as if you're in a position to do anything about it. 949 00:45:33,699 --> 00:45:36,533 He's right, Sherlock Holmes. 950 00:45:36,666 --> 00:45:40,132 You've walked straight into our trap. (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 951 00:45:40,266 --> 00:45:42,132 Moriarty. Quiet, Watson. 952 00:45:42,266 --> 00:45:46,000 In the name of the queen, I arrest you both. 953 00:45:46,132 --> 00:45:48,366 (CHUCKLING) Oh, come, Sherlock. 954 00:45:48,499 --> 00:45:50,199 You don't think it'll be that easy. 955 00:45:50,332 --> 00:45:53,366 You won't be leaving here alive, Mr. Holmes, 956 00:45:53,499 --> 00:45:57,966 unless, of course, you fight your way out of the Hexagon. 957 00:45:58,990 --> 00:46:00,366 (CROWD MURMURING) 958 00:46:01,499 --> 00:46:02,699 Where are you pointing? 959 00:46:04,132 --> 00:46:05,990 There. 960 00:46:05,232 --> 00:46:06,332 This way or that way? 961 00:46:07,132 --> 00:46:08,332 There. 962 00:46:08,466 --> 00:46:09,746 - HOLMES: Oh. - KLINGER: The Hexagon. 963 00:46:09,866 --> 00:46:11,900 But I won't fight a one-armed man. 964 00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:14,866 Oh, no. I've got this, Sherlock. (SNIFFS) 965 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,432 It won't be the first time I've fought a cripple. (CHUCKLES) 966 00:46:17,566 --> 00:46:18,666 Oh, uh... 967 00:46:18,799 --> 00:46:20,199 You won't be fighting me. 968 00:46:20,332 --> 00:46:22,366 Nah, nah, nah. 969 00:46:22,499 --> 00:46:24,165 You're fighting my mate. 970 00:46:24,299 --> 00:46:26,165 Meet Brawn. 971 00:46:28,533 --> 00:46:29,833 (STRAINS) (THUDS) 972 00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:45,633 Oh, come on. 973 00:46:45,766 --> 00:46:47,650 (MORIARTY LAUGHS MENACINGLY) 974 00:46:47,199 --> 00:46:48,466 Well, I call bullshit. 975 00:46:48,599 --> 00:46:52,299 (BELL DINGING) (CROWD CHEERING) 976 00:46:52,432 --> 00:46:54,833 I fear it might be suicide to fight this man. 977 00:46:54,966 --> 00:46:57,165 I think it's mostly psychological. 978 00:46:57,299 --> 00:46:58,399 (ROARING) 979 00:46:59,332 --> 00:47:00,799 (CROWD EXCLAIMS) 980 00:47:00,933 --> 00:47:03,000 I'm psychologically scared shitless right now. 981 00:47:03,132 --> 00:47:05,599 CROWD: (CHANTING) Fight! Fight! Fight! 982 00:47:05,733 --> 00:47:07,266 (ROARING) 983 00:47:08,266 --> 00:47:10,320 Okay. Okay. 984 00:47:10,165 --> 00:47:13,000 But if you want to watch this fight, you have to pay. 985 00:47:13,132 --> 00:47:14,766 You have to pay to view it. 986 00:47:14,900 --> 00:47:17,833 (CROWD GROANING) This is a pay-to-view-it fight. 987 00:47:17,966 --> 00:47:19,933 WATSON: Yes, I know it seems a bit unfair, 988 00:47:20,650 --> 00:47:21,733 but if you split it among a few friends 989 00:47:21,866 --> 00:47:23,432 and buy some beers, some pizza, 990 00:47:23,566 --> 00:47:25,733 it could be a fun thing to do with the guys. 991 00:47:25,866 --> 00:47:30,533 It's time! 992 00:47:30,666 --> 00:47:33,666 Let's get ready to scuffle! (ALL CHEERING) 993 00:47:33,799 --> 00:47:35,199 (BELL DINGING) 994 00:47:35,332 --> 00:47:37,499 CROWD: (CHANTING) Scuffle! Scuffle! Scuffle! 995 00:47:37,633 --> 00:47:38,633 MAN: Nice! 996 00:47:38,766 --> 00:47:40,000 HOLMES: What is she doing here? 997 00:47:40,132 --> 00:47:41,566 It's 6:00 in the morning. 998 00:47:41,699 --> 00:47:43,232 Holmes, I don't know why... 999 00:47:43,366 --> 00:47:44,966 Yes... but that really jacked me up. 1000 00:47:45,990 --> 00:47:46,900 Ah! I think I might stand a chance. 1001 00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:48,833 It reminds me of Istanbul. 1002 00:47:48,966 --> 00:47:51,633 Exactly. And what did I beat in Istanbul? 1003 00:47:51,766 --> 00:47:53,366 Syphilis! Syphilis! Exactly. 1004 00:47:53,499 --> 00:47:54,733 Go get him. All right. 1005 00:47:55,499 --> 00:47:56,499 Come on! 1006 00:47:56,633 --> 00:47:57,966 "Come on"? You come on! 1007 00:47:58,990 --> 00:47:59,499 You! 1008 00:47:59,633 --> 00:48:01,320 You mountain of flesh. 1009 00:48:01,165 --> 00:48:03,165 (SHOUTING) 1010 00:48:03,299 --> 00:48:04,866 (SCREAMING) 1011 00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:06,766 (ROARING) 1012 00:48:06,900 --> 00:48:09,933 (CROWD CHEERING) 1013 00:48:10,650 --> 00:48:12,165 Your turn, Mr. Holmes! 1014 00:48:12,299 --> 00:48:14,666 Yes, I know. Of course I'm next. 1015 00:48:19,666 --> 00:48:22,000 HOLMES: Opponent, 350 pounds. 1016 00:48:22,132 --> 00:48:23,533 Use pipe. 1017 00:48:23,666 --> 00:48:26,266 Create diversion to distract his gaze. 1018 00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,000 Plan of attack, 1019 00:48:30,132 --> 00:48:32,866 surprise first blow to center of mass. 1020 00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,666 Gracefully dodge counterpunch. 1021 00:48:35,799 --> 00:48:37,499 Employ visual impairment. 1022 00:48:37,633 --> 00:48:38,900 (SCREAMS) 1023 00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:41,466 Easily duck wild swing. 1024 00:48:41,599 --> 00:48:44,733 Utilize Tibetan ototoxic method 1025 00:48:44,866 --> 00:48:46,466 to disrupt his balance. (GROANING) 1026 00:48:48,232 --> 00:48:49,399 Grab facial hair. 1027 00:48:49,533 --> 00:48:51,165 Use for leverage. 1028 00:48:51,299 --> 00:48:53,199 Okinawan beard flip. 1029 00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:57,399 Enemy incapacitated. 1030 00:48:58,165 --> 00:48:59,232 Catch pipe. 1031 00:49:00,432 --> 00:49:02,666 Revel in crowd's adulation. 1032 00:49:04,165 --> 00:49:07,299 (CROWD CHEERING) 1033 00:49:14,733 --> 00:49:16,599 (HOLMES GRUNTS) (CHUCKLING) 1034 00:49:18,165 --> 00:49:19,399 Oh, no. 1035 00:49:19,533 --> 00:49:20,900 (WATSON YELLS) (GROANS) 1036 00:49:21,650 --> 00:49:22,499 (CROWD EXCLAIMS) 1037 00:49:22,633 --> 00:49:23,666 Good show, Watson. 1038 00:49:23,799 --> 00:49:25,332 Thank you, Holmes. (YELLS) 1039 00:49:25,466 --> 00:49:26,866 (GROANS) 1040 00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,666 Break his pelvis. 1041 00:49:28,799 --> 00:49:30,900 (GROANS) Go! Again! 1042 00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:32,900 Club him like a baby seal. 1043 00:49:33,499 --> 00:49:34,533 (GRUNTS) 1044 00:49:37,650 --> 00:49:38,366 (WATSON PANTING) 1045 00:49:38,499 --> 00:49:40,299 What have I done? No, you're fine. 1046 00:49:40,432 --> 00:49:42,650 Okay. Now, 1047 00:49:42,199 --> 00:49:45,332 tell us everything you know about the plot to kill the Queen. 1048 00:49:46,199 --> 00:49:47,366 All right. 1049 00:49:47,499 --> 00:49:49,165 I'll tell you everything I know. 1050 00:49:51,332 --> 00:49:52,833 I've been stabbed in the back. 1051 00:49:55,566 --> 00:49:56,699 Meaning? Oh. 1052 00:49:56,833 --> 00:49:58,499 Metaphorically speaking, yes. 1053 00:49:58,633 --> 00:50:01,399 No, I've literally been stabbed in the back... 1054 00:50:01,533 --> 00:50:03,633 (CROWD EXCLAIMING) (GASPS) 1055 00:50:03,766 --> 00:50:05,320 Holmes, he's escaping. 1056 00:50:07,666 --> 00:50:08,699 (GROANS) 1057 00:50:10,399 --> 00:50:12,000 (GASPING) 1058 00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:15,599 So Moriarty is in England. 1059 00:50:15,733 --> 00:50:18,766 (SIGHS) Watson. Does it look like Moriarty 1060 00:50:18,900 --> 00:50:20,766 now? (GROANS) 1061 00:50:20,900 --> 00:50:22,199 Who is this? 1062 00:50:22,332 --> 00:50:24,266 Jacob Musgrave, 1063 00:50:24,399 --> 00:50:26,499 as I've been saying all along. 1064 00:50:26,633 --> 00:50:28,699 A man who looks so much like Moriarty, 1065 00:50:28,833 --> 00:50:31,366 a simple beard fooled almost everyone. 1066 00:50:31,499 --> 00:50:32,819 (WHIMPERS) All right, I admit it. 1067 00:50:32,900 --> 00:50:34,699 I am no Moriarty. 1068 00:50:34,833 --> 00:50:36,332 My name is Musgrave, 1069 00:50:36,466 --> 00:50:37,766 just like he says. 1070 00:50:39,165 --> 00:50:41,990 Wow. HOLMES: Who put you up to this? 1071 00:50:41,232 --> 00:50:44,399 Oh, they've been leaving me notes telling me what to do. 1072 00:50:44,533 --> 00:50:45,633 I don't know who it is. 1073 00:50:45,766 --> 00:50:48,320 I swear, I'm just a simple wanker. 1074 00:50:48,165 --> 00:50:50,320 He's telling the truth, Watson. 1075 00:50:50,165 --> 00:50:52,533 This morally deficient creature, 1076 00:50:52,666 --> 00:50:56,232 this awful, awful excuse for a man, this... 1077 00:50:56,366 --> 00:50:58,633 Bag of rubbish. Yes, good one, Watson. Yes. 1078 00:50:58,766 --> 00:51:00,466 Come on, guys. I'm dying. 1079 00:51:00,599 --> 00:51:03,320 These are the wages of wanking, you see? 1080 00:51:03,165 --> 00:51:05,232 Wait, wait, wait. What? 1081 00:51:05,366 --> 00:51:06,366 Just a... 1082 00:51:06,499 --> 00:51:07,566 Don't wank on us. 1083 00:51:09,132 --> 00:51:10,966 A coal. 1084 00:51:11,990 --> 00:51:13,566 Said you were to take it to Newcastle. 1085 00:51:15,366 --> 00:51:17,566 - A lump of coal? - MUSGRAVE: Yeah. 1086 00:51:17,699 --> 00:51:18,866 To Newcastle? 1087 00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:20,833 Newcastle by the river? 1088 00:51:20,966 --> 00:51:23,733 HOLMES: Perhaps this clue will lead us to the real mastermind. 1089 00:51:23,866 --> 00:51:24,833 Time is running out. 1090 00:51:24,966 --> 00:51:26,165 We must save the Queen. 1091 00:51:26,299 --> 00:51:27,599 Good luck to you. 1092 00:51:27,733 --> 00:51:29,232 (EXHALES) 1093 00:51:29,366 --> 00:51:31,266 (LONDON TOWN BY DUB PISTOLS PLAYS) 1094 00:51:31,399 --> 00:51:33,533 ♪ While speeding to London town 1095 00:51:33,666 --> 00:51:36,232 ♪ Bad man he said we gotta get down 1096 00:51:36,366 --> 00:51:38,866 ♪ Keep smiling and forget that frown 1097 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,366 ♪ Little reason to keep that crown 1098 00:51:41,499 --> 00:51:44,320 ♪ While speeding to London town 1099 00:51:44,165 --> 00:51:46,799 ♪ Bad man he said we gotta get down 1100 00:51:46,933 --> 00:51:49,299 ♪ Keep smiling and forget that frown... ♪ 1101 00:51:49,432 --> 00:51:52,466 HOLMES: Bring these coals to Newcastle. 1102 00:51:52,599 --> 00:51:54,299 Coals. 1103 00:51:54,432 --> 00:51:56,566 Coals. "Sherlock." 1104 00:51:56,699 --> 00:51:59,633 "Three days until I rewrite history and kill the queen." 1105 00:51:59,766 --> 00:52:01,532 GRACE: Millicent is the subject of my research. 1106 00:52:01,533 --> 00:52:03,366 HOLMES: Coals to Newcastle. 1107 00:52:03,499 --> 00:52:05,665 Talking to you, it's as if our brains are sharing a tandem bicycle. 1108 00:52:05,666 --> 00:52:07,499 GRACE: She has the mental capacity of... 1109 00:52:07,633 --> 00:52:09,131 (CACKLES) HOLMES: Now you have but three days... 1110 00:52:09,132 --> 00:52:10,533 Bring these coals to Newcastle. 1111 00:52:10,666 --> 00:52:13,499 ♪ Co-detective Sherlock and me ♪ 1112 00:52:13,633 --> 00:52:14,733 Uh... Oh. 1113 00:52:14,866 --> 00:52:16,900 Good morning, Sherlock. 1114 00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:18,533 What's happened? Well, I'm... 1115 00:52:18,666 --> 00:52:20,866 I'm trying to untangle this baffling clue. 1116 00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:22,232 Ah. 1117 00:52:22,366 --> 00:52:24,566 Ever since I met Millie, my mind is muddled. 1118 00:52:24,699 --> 00:52:26,666 Do you suppose she's infected me 1119 00:52:26,799 --> 00:52:28,766 with some sort of a disease? 1120 00:52:28,900 --> 00:52:29,866 Disease? 1121 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:31,533 My heart races. 1122 00:52:31,666 --> 00:52:32,933 My palms sweat. 1123 00:52:33,650 --> 00:52:34,699 I have all these feelings. 1124 00:52:34,833 --> 00:52:37,566 Holmes, get a hold of yourself. You're not sick. 1125 00:52:38,699 --> 00:52:39,733 You're in love. 1126 00:52:39,866 --> 00:52:41,833 Love? Horseradish! 1127 00:52:41,966 --> 00:52:43,165 I'm a man of logic. 1128 00:52:43,299 --> 00:52:44,933 There's nothing to be ashamed of. 1129 00:52:45,650 --> 00:52:49,466 In fact, I, too, have been taken by this malady called love. 1130 00:52:49,599 --> 00:52:52,566 Grace has asked me to call upon her. 1131 00:52:52,699 --> 00:52:54,366 Apparently, 1132 00:52:54,499 --> 00:52:57,332 I sent her quite the charming telegram last night. 1133 00:52:57,466 --> 00:52:58,733 (CHUCKLING) 1134 00:52:58,866 --> 00:53:00,699 Watson, you've cracked it. 1135 00:53:00,833 --> 00:53:02,165 Have I? Co-detective? 1136 00:53:02,299 --> 00:53:03,466 Think, Watson. Uh... 1137 00:53:03,599 --> 00:53:05,000 Is there a single logical reason 1138 00:53:05,132 --> 00:53:07,499 for Grace to want to seek your company? 1139 00:53:07,633 --> 00:53:09,000 Romantic interest? 1140 00:53:09,132 --> 00:53:10,733 No. My eyes? 1141 00:53:10,866 --> 00:53:11,966 It's all a ruse. 1142 00:53:12,990 --> 00:53:14,650 Moriarty escapes to America, 1143 00:53:14,199 --> 00:53:17,650 and then these two American women show up? 1144 00:53:17,199 --> 00:53:20,833 Sorry, you're saying Grace is the killer? 1145 00:53:20,966 --> 00:53:23,599 Of course she's not the killer. She's an American. 1146 00:53:23,733 --> 00:53:26,000 She would have used a gun. Ah. Hmm. 1147 00:53:26,132 --> 00:53:29,000 No, Grace is working for the killer. 1148 00:53:29,132 --> 00:53:30,990 Oh. 1149 00:53:30,232 --> 00:53:32,650 We shall seduce her, 1150 00:53:32,199 --> 00:53:34,199 and that will lead us to the murderer. 1151 00:53:34,332 --> 00:53:35,699 Mmm-hmm. 1152 00:53:36,233 --> 00:53:37,500 Yes. 1153 00:53:37,510 --> 00:54:29,510 _ _ _ 1154 00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:31,300 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 1155 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:34,480 Who could that be at this early hour? 1156 00:54:34,533 --> 00:54:36,199 (KNOCKING CONTINUES) Enter. 1157 00:54:42,633 --> 00:54:44,399 WATSON: Her Majesty. (GASPS) 1158 00:54:45,533 --> 00:54:48,366 Have you come to see me? 1159 00:54:48,499 --> 00:54:51,366 Mr. Holmes, I have but two days left to live 1160 00:54:51,499 --> 00:54:53,466 unless you can solve this case. 1161 00:54:54,366 --> 00:54:57,399 My queen, do come in. 1162 00:54:57,533 --> 00:54:59,833 I shall speak with Mr. Holmes in private. 1163 00:55:02,699 --> 00:55:04,132 Your Majesty. 1164 00:55:04,266 --> 00:55:05,799 You'll be happy to know 1165 00:55:05,933 --> 00:55:08,633 that, just this morning we discovered a new clue. 1166 00:55:08,766 --> 00:55:10,533 This chunk of coal. 1167 00:55:10,666 --> 00:55:11,900 What does it mean? 1168 00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:13,566 It's quite a mystery. 1169 00:55:13,699 --> 00:55:15,432 (GIGGLES) 1170 00:55:15,566 --> 00:55:17,232 Is this going to be a problem? 1171 00:55:17,366 --> 00:55:18,699 Watson. 1172 00:55:18,833 --> 00:55:20,733 Perhaps the Queen would enjoy some tea. 1173 00:55:20,866 --> 00:55:22,266 Oh, yes, of course. 1174 00:55:23,833 --> 00:55:27,199 Mr. Holmes, the empire is depending on you. 1175 00:55:27,332 --> 00:55:30,866 Your Majesty, I now suspect two American women 1176 00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:32,900 are somehow involved in this plot. 1177 00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:35,320 Sorry. 1178 00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:37,366 Your Majesty, 1179 00:55:37,499 --> 00:55:40,366 do you think I could have a picture of us together? 1180 00:55:40,499 --> 00:55:42,566 But who is going to take the photograph? 1181 00:55:42,699 --> 00:55:44,566 Oh, no, I'll take the photograph. 1182 00:55:44,699 --> 00:55:47,132 You see, it's a type of a self-photograph. 1183 00:55:47,266 --> 00:55:49,599 I can take it, and I will be in it also. 1184 00:55:49,733 --> 00:55:52,533 You know what? I find, to take the most attractive photographs, 1185 00:55:52,666 --> 00:55:54,199 you need to purse your lips together 1186 00:55:54,332 --> 00:55:56,366 like a duck-billed platypus. 1187 00:55:56,499 --> 00:55:58,466 Platypus face. Chins up. 1188 00:56:00,499 --> 00:56:02,866 Hey. Hey. Hey, girl. 1189 00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:04,733 You know, maybe over by the window. 1190 00:56:04,866 --> 00:56:06,698 The lighting's much better there. Yes, yes, capital idea. 1191 00:56:06,699 --> 00:56:08,199 (GROANS) (THUDDING) 1192 00:56:08,332 --> 00:56:10,466 Oh, God. Ma'am, ma'am. HOLMES: Oh! Oh! 1193 00:56:10,599 --> 00:56:12,299 Ma'am! Your Majesty. 1194 00:56:12,432 --> 00:56:14,366 Oh, ma'am. Ma'am. 1195 00:56:14,499 --> 00:56:15,566 Oh, dear. 1196 00:56:16,866 --> 00:56:18,990 Tell me, Watson. 1197 00:56:19,699 --> 00:56:21,000 She's dead. 1198 00:56:22,666 --> 00:56:23,933 HOLMES: Dear God. 1199 00:56:24,650 --> 00:56:25,933 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1200 00:56:26,650 --> 00:56:28,232 We've killed the Queen. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1201 00:56:28,366 --> 00:56:30,566 Are you all right, Your Majesty? 1202 00:56:30,699 --> 00:56:31,900 (IMITATING THE QUEEN) Yes. 1203 00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:33,599 - Yes, I'm all right. - Are you sure? 1204 00:56:33,733 --> 00:56:35,365 (IMITATING THE QUEEN) Yes, I'm quite fine. 1205 00:56:35,366 --> 00:56:37,766 My lover, John Watson, will take good care of me. 1206 00:56:39,966 --> 00:56:42,266 (WHISPERS) Why did you want that photograph? 1207 00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:44,599 I didn't want the photograph. 1208 00:56:44,733 --> 00:56:46,566 What are you talking about? 1209 00:56:46,699 --> 00:56:48,466 Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson? 1210 00:56:48,599 --> 00:56:50,399 (IMITATING THE QUEEN) I'm very, very safe. 1211 00:56:50,533 --> 00:56:53,299 (WHISPERING) She's so dead. She's so dead. 1212 00:56:53,432 --> 00:56:54,552 - WATSON: I know. - HOLMES: Okay. 1213 00:56:54,633 --> 00:56:56,499 We'll shove her down the toilet 1214 00:56:56,633 --> 00:56:58,665 as if she was never here, and we'll deny ever seeing her. 1215 00:56:58,666 --> 00:57:00,299 Right. Excellent. (BOTH GRUNTING) 1216 00:57:00,432 --> 00:57:01,499 HOLMES: Come on. Come up. 1217 00:57:03,599 --> 00:57:05,650 Here we are. Into the bathroom. 1218 00:57:05,199 --> 00:57:06,799 (THUD) (BOTH GRUNTING) 1219 00:57:06,933 --> 00:57:08,399 Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson. 1220 00:57:08,533 --> 00:57:09,866 What was the big bang? (GASPS) 1221 00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:11,332 We must buy some time. (GASPS) 1222 00:57:11,466 --> 00:57:12,746 Right. Let's get her to the door. 1223 00:57:12,833 --> 00:57:14,466 GUARD: Open this door! Wait. 1224 00:57:14,599 --> 00:57:16,980 WATSON: (IMITATING THE QUEEN) Hello. What do you want? 1225 00:57:16,990 --> 00:57:17,366 Ma'am, are you all right? 1226 00:57:17,499 --> 00:57:19,699 Yes, of course I'm fine. Can't you see? 1227 00:57:19,833 --> 00:57:21,164 Yes, of course, ma'am. I'm so sorry. 1228 00:57:21,165 --> 00:57:22,365 We've got it from here, boys. Thank you. 1229 00:57:22,366 --> 00:57:23,446 - We're good. - GUARD: Yes, sir. 1230 00:57:23,566 --> 00:57:24,833 (DOOR LOCKS) (BOTH GRUNTING) 1231 00:57:24,966 --> 00:57:26,165 The trunk. Yes. 1232 00:57:26,299 --> 00:57:27,933 Yes, we'll mail her to Africa. 1233 00:57:28,650 --> 00:57:29,366 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1234 00:57:29,499 --> 00:57:30,900 WATSON: Come on, ma'am. Sorry. 1235 00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:32,320 HOLMES: There we go. 1236 00:57:32,165 --> 00:57:33,332 Stuff her in there. 1237 00:57:33,466 --> 00:57:34,706 Really thrust. (WATSON GRUNTING) 1238 00:57:34,733 --> 00:57:36,165 Good. Good. 1239 00:57:36,866 --> 00:57:38,499 Good. Good. 1240 00:57:38,633 --> 00:57:40,165 - Hold on, Watson. - GUARD: Come on, boys. 1241 00:57:40,299 --> 00:57:42,990 Open the door! (GRUNTING) 1242 00:57:42,232 --> 00:57:44,000 Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson. 1243 00:57:44,132 --> 00:57:46,399 One, two, three. Watch your fingers. (BOTH GRUNTING) 1244 00:57:47,566 --> 00:57:49,466 GUARD: Open this door immediately! 1245 00:57:49,599 --> 00:57:51,650 This is bad. 1246 00:57:51,199 --> 00:57:52,759 You know what we must do. (DOOR BANGING) 1247 00:57:53,633 --> 00:57:55,650 Grab your toolbox. 1248 00:57:55,199 --> 00:57:57,533 Let me in! I'm breaking down the door! 1249 00:57:57,666 --> 00:57:59,199 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1250 00:57:59,332 --> 00:58:01,332 Bone saw. Bone saw. 1251 00:58:01,466 --> 00:58:02,932 - WATSON: Oh, God. - GUARD: Come on! Push! Come on, together! 1252 00:58:02,933 --> 00:58:05,633 Watson, toilet-sized chunks. 1253 00:58:05,766 --> 00:58:06,966 GUARD: Put your back into it! 1254 00:58:07,990 --> 00:58:08,139 (GUARDS GRUNT) (DOOR OPENS) 1255 00:58:10,432 --> 00:58:11,733 Good God! 1256 00:58:11,866 --> 00:58:13,132 What have you done? 1257 00:58:13,799 --> 00:58:14,900 (GASPS) 1258 00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:16,499 Platypus lips. 1259 00:58:21,132 --> 00:58:23,332 (BONE SAW CLATTERS) 1260 00:58:23,466 --> 00:58:27,266 Can you send me a copy of the self-photograph? 1261 00:58:28,466 --> 00:58:30,666 Absolutely. 1262 00:58:30,799 --> 00:58:34,699 It will arrive at the palace in about a week. 1263 00:58:36,366 --> 00:58:37,599 Gentlemen, 1264 00:58:37,733 --> 00:58:41,332 you have two days to stop this killer. 1265 00:58:41,466 --> 00:58:42,533 Yes, ma'am. 1266 00:58:43,733 --> 00:58:45,000 God save the Queen. 1267 00:58:48,299 --> 00:58:50,000 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1268 00:58:50,132 --> 00:58:53,566 What a perfect day for a picnic at London's greatest spectacle, 1269 00:58:53,699 --> 00:58:55,833 the Anglo-American Exhibition. 1270 00:58:55,966 --> 00:58:57,866 A celebration of that special relationship 1271 00:58:58,000 --> 00:58:59,733 between our nation and yours. 1272 00:58:59,866 --> 00:59:01,833 Yes, such a special relationship 1273 00:59:01,966 --> 00:59:03,866 between these two nations, 1274 00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:05,966 although I could never live 1275 00:59:06,990 --> 00:59:08,000 in a country with an unelected ruler 1276 00:59:08,132 --> 00:59:09,165 like the Queen. 1277 00:59:09,299 --> 00:59:11,165 (SCOFFS) Why ever not? 1278 00:59:11,299 --> 00:59:13,399 In America, we have democracy. 1279 00:59:13,533 --> 00:59:16,366 Our president is a person our people have all chosen. 1280 00:59:16,499 --> 00:59:17,433 Mmm. 1281 00:59:17,466 --> 00:59:21,699 An assurance that only the finest and most qualified man will lead, 1282 00:59:21,833 --> 00:59:25,733 not a wealthy tyrant who cares for nothing but himself. 1283 00:59:25,866 --> 00:59:28,499 But you have the electoral college, which surely will prevent 1284 00:59:28,633 --> 00:59:30,933 some trumped-up charlatan from gaining power. 1285 00:59:31,650 --> 00:59:32,666 Not always, unfortunately. 1286 00:59:32,799 --> 00:59:34,900 It would be great to have a strong businessman. 1287 00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:36,499 But a showman as well. 1288 00:59:36,633 --> 00:59:38,000 I love a good show. 1289 00:59:38,132 --> 00:59:40,990 America. (GRACE AND WATSON CHUCKLE) 1290 00:59:40,232 --> 00:59:43,132 We gave you your freedom, and now look what you've done with it. 1291 01:00:06,133 --> 01:00:07,766 HOLMES: Remember, Watson. (GRUNTS) 1292 01:00:07,899 --> 01:00:11,400 Relax them with small talk, then begin the seduction. 1293 01:00:11,532 --> 01:00:13,990 I must say, she doesn't look 1294 01:00:13,233 --> 01:00:15,133 like she could be an accessory to murder. 1295 01:00:16,432 --> 01:00:18,732 Well, looks can be deceiving. 1296 01:00:18,866 --> 01:00:20,233 (WHINY GRUNT) 1297 01:00:20,366 --> 01:00:22,732 Remember, we're here to seduce. 1298 01:00:22,866 --> 01:00:26,966 These physical displays of strength will enchant them. 1299 01:00:27,990 --> 01:00:28,366 WATSON: Ah. 1300 01:00:28,499 --> 01:00:30,266 (VERDI'S LA DONNA E MOBILE PLAYS) 1301 01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:31,532 (PANTING) 1302 01:00:31,666 --> 01:00:33,330 I could use a bit of cocaine. 1303 01:00:33,166 --> 01:00:34,732 Did you bring a vial with you? 1304 01:00:36,990 --> 01:00:38,465 (BOTH GRUNTING MANIACALLY) 1305 01:00:38,599 --> 01:00:39,766 Very good. 1306 01:00:42,990 --> 01:00:43,632 (BOTH YELLING) 1307 01:00:46,565 --> 01:00:47,899 (GROANS) 1308 01:00:48,330 --> 01:00:50,465 Are you all right? I'm... I'm exhausted. 1309 01:00:50,599 --> 01:00:52,933 There is one test I can employ 1310 01:00:53,660 --> 01:00:55,732 to prove she truly is who she says she is. 1311 01:00:55,866 --> 01:00:57,233 Then do it, Holmes. 1312 01:00:57,366 --> 01:00:59,632 Employ your last test. I simply must know. 1313 01:00:59,766 --> 01:01:00,899 (GROANS) 1314 01:01:02,899 --> 01:01:04,133 Help! John? 1315 01:01:04,266 --> 01:01:05,899 - This man has been taken ill. - GRACE: What? 1316 01:01:06,330 --> 01:01:08,333 (GROANING) Oh! 1317 01:01:08,465 --> 01:01:09,766 Let me see. 1318 01:01:09,899 --> 01:01:11,799 If only there were a doctor present. 1319 01:01:11,933 --> 01:01:15,990 Clearly, he's had a severe blow to his occipital bone. 1320 01:01:15,233 --> 01:01:16,300 He's concussed. 1321 01:01:16,432 --> 01:01:18,699 And I am a doctor. A doctor? 1322 01:01:18,832 --> 01:01:21,899 A woman doctor. What times we live in. (SIGHS) 1323 01:01:22,330 --> 01:01:23,766 Could it be? 1324 01:01:23,899 --> 01:01:26,532 Is Grace truly a doctor? 1325 01:01:26,666 --> 01:01:29,660 Are her feelings of affection genuine? 1326 01:01:29,199 --> 01:01:31,330 Then she's innocent. 1327 01:01:31,166 --> 01:01:32,400 Watson, get up. 1328 01:01:32,532 --> 01:01:33,732 We need to go see my brother. 1329 01:01:33,866 --> 01:01:35,899 I love you, Grace. Oh! 1330 01:01:38,266 --> 01:01:40,732 WATSON: The legendary Diogenes Men's Club. 1331 01:01:40,866 --> 01:01:43,266 HOLMES: Home of London's most awkward gentlemen 1332 01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:44,599 and my brother. (EXCLAIMS) 1333 01:01:44,732 --> 01:01:46,266 (BIRD SCREECHING) 1334 01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:47,632 Holmes. Mmm. 1335 01:01:47,766 --> 01:01:49,166 I can't believe you have a brother. 1336 01:01:49,266 --> 01:01:51,166 Yes, but we're nothing alike. 1337 01:01:51,300 --> 01:01:53,599 He's an arrogant man who never appreciates 1338 01:01:53,732 --> 01:01:55,333 the people around him. 1339 01:01:55,465 --> 01:01:56,999 BUTLER: Follow me. Here. 1340 01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:03,300 MYCROFT: Well, well, well. 1341 01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:08,632 So you are finally seeking your brother's help. 1342 01:02:08,766 --> 01:02:10,799 (SIGHS) I must say, I'm not surprised. 1343 01:02:10,933 --> 01:02:13,432 And this vague assembly of limbs and fatty tissue, 1344 01:02:13,565 --> 01:02:14,966 I assume, is Dr. Watson. 1345 01:02:15,990 --> 01:02:16,133 Mmm. 1346 01:02:19,432 --> 01:02:21,632 (MUFFLED, DISTORTED VOICES) 1347 01:02:29,366 --> 01:02:31,199 So shall I get us started? 1348 01:02:31,333 --> 01:02:33,866 (MEN SHUSHING) 1349 01:02:33,999 --> 01:02:35,699 Watson, please. 1350 01:02:35,832 --> 01:02:37,732 We're in the middle of a conversation. 1351 01:02:37,866 --> 01:02:39,599 Can't you see? 1352 01:02:39,732 --> 01:02:41,564 When the two most brilliant minds in all of England 1353 01:02:41,565 --> 01:02:42,799 have a fraternal bond, 1354 01:02:42,933 --> 01:02:44,899 words are an inefficiency. 1355 01:02:45,330 --> 01:02:47,465 We communicate without words, silently, 1356 01:02:47,599 --> 01:02:49,933 from giant brain to gianter brain. 1357 01:02:50,660 --> 01:02:51,732 WATSON: Of course. 1358 01:02:51,866 --> 01:02:54,300 I'll join in as I see fit. (CHUCKLES) 1359 01:02:54,432 --> 01:02:57,465 (BOTH CLEAR THROAT) 1360 01:02:57,599 --> 01:03:00,333 MYCROFT: I can spare a few minutes to solve your little mystery 1361 01:03:00,465 --> 01:03:03,465 and help quench your thirst for public adulation. 1362 01:03:03,599 --> 01:03:05,933 HOLMES: My thirst is for logic. 1363 01:03:06,660 --> 01:03:09,899 I don't care what the public thinks of London's best-loved detective, 1364 01:03:10,330 --> 01:03:11,166 Sherlock Holmes. 1365 01:03:11,300 --> 01:03:12,966 WATSON: Thoughts. (GROANS) 1366 01:03:13,990 --> 01:03:14,933 (FEEDBACK SQUEALS) Me-Me talky. 1367 01:03:15,660 --> 01:03:16,333 Me-Me talky. 1368 01:03:16,465 --> 01:03:17,899 You find killer. 1369 01:03:18,330 --> 01:03:21,990 Me-Me talky? We find killer? 1370 01:03:21,233 --> 01:03:23,766 Watson, what are you trying to do? 1371 01:03:23,899 --> 01:03:25,330 Trying to brain-speak. 1372 01:03:25,166 --> 01:03:27,660 HOLMES: You're going to hurt yourself. 1373 01:03:27,199 --> 01:03:29,660 Uh, sorry. (CHUCKLES) 1374 01:03:29,199 --> 01:03:31,565 Uh, perhaps the gentleman would be more comfortable 1375 01:03:31,699 --> 01:03:34,400 in the companions' chamber. 1376 01:03:34,532 --> 01:03:37,966 Perhaps, or perhaps I'd be comfortable here by the fire. 1377 01:03:38,990 --> 01:03:39,400 In the companions' chamber, sir. 1378 01:03:39,532 --> 01:03:40,699 Yes, fine. Of course. 1379 01:03:40,832 --> 01:03:42,599 Great idea. Yeah, capital idea. 1380 01:03:42,732 --> 01:03:44,233 I'll be in the companions' room. Yes. 1381 01:03:44,366 --> 01:03:47,300 The equal companions' room, should you need me. 1382 01:03:47,432 --> 01:03:48,799 It's just here. 1383 01:03:48,933 --> 01:03:50,632 (MONKEY SCREECHING) 1384 01:03:52,565 --> 01:03:54,166 (DOOR CLOSES) 1385 01:03:54,300 --> 01:03:56,132 BUTLER: Please enjoy the company of your fellow companions. 1386 01:03:56,133 --> 01:03:58,660 I see. Huh. 1387 01:03:58,199 --> 01:04:01,333 Balloons are happy, but they're not alive. 1388 01:04:02,799 --> 01:04:04,790 Fair enough. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 1389 01:04:04,133 --> 01:04:05,166 (LOCK CLICKS) 1390 01:04:05,933 --> 01:04:08,799 (DOORKNOB RATTLING) 1391 01:04:08,933 --> 01:04:13,133 HOLMES: Who is this brilliant nemesis capable of besting me? 1392 01:04:13,266 --> 01:04:16,599 MYCROFT: If your nemesis were truly smarter than you, 1393 01:04:16,732 --> 01:04:18,599 it could only be me. 1394 01:04:18,732 --> 01:04:20,899 And as I am not the killer, one must conclude 1395 01:04:21,330 --> 01:04:24,266 that the killer did not, nor could not, outwit you. 1396 01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:27,400 HOLMES: If the killer is my intellectual inferior, 1397 01:04:27,532 --> 01:04:29,599 how has he predicted my every move? 1398 01:04:29,732 --> 01:04:31,431 MYCROFT: The killer did not predict your actions. 1399 01:04:31,432 --> 01:04:33,532 Our murderer is a student of yours, 1400 01:04:33,666 --> 01:04:35,199 someone in your proximity. 1401 01:04:35,333 --> 01:04:37,366 Someone who could observe you undetected. 1402 01:04:37,499 --> 01:04:39,899 Someone who knows you better than anyone. 1403 01:04:40,330 --> 01:04:41,432 WATSON: His mind radiates wisdom. 1404 01:04:41,565 --> 01:04:43,266 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 1405 01:04:46,866 --> 01:04:48,233 I am dying from anticipation. 1406 01:04:48,366 --> 01:04:49,765 What did your brother tell you, Holmes? 1407 01:04:49,766 --> 01:04:51,632 I believe I've cracked the case. 1408 01:04:51,766 --> 01:04:54,432 It was in front of me the whole time, my dear Watson. 1409 01:04:54,565 --> 01:04:55,766 Oh, do share. 1410 01:04:55,899 --> 01:04:57,732 (SIGHS) And ruin the suspense? 1411 01:04:57,866 --> 01:05:00,400 I just thought, since I worked the case with you... 1412 01:05:00,532 --> 01:05:01,766 And we're here. (SIGHS) 1413 01:05:04,699 --> 01:05:06,133 HOLMES: Now, 1414 01:05:06,266 --> 01:05:09,666 you're all wondering why I gathered you here today. 1415 01:05:09,799 --> 01:05:13,660 Prepare yourself to be astonished. 1416 01:05:13,199 --> 01:05:14,465 The killer could only be a man 1417 01:05:14,599 --> 01:05:17,660 who knew my actions at every turn. 1418 01:05:17,199 --> 01:05:19,766 Who was present at every murder? 1419 01:05:19,899 --> 01:05:21,133 Hmm? 1420 01:05:21,266 --> 01:05:23,799 Who knows me better than anyone? 1421 01:05:23,933 --> 01:05:26,799 It was you who arranged my birthday party 1422 01:05:26,933 --> 01:05:29,699 and the cake which contained the first victim, 1423 01:05:29,832 --> 01:05:33,465 initiating the events leading us to today. 1424 01:05:33,599 --> 01:05:36,999 Dr. Watson is the killer. 1425 01:05:37,133 --> 01:05:39,400 (OTHERS GASPING AND MURMURING) 1426 01:05:39,532 --> 01:05:40,799 HOLMES: By studying my methods, 1427 01:05:40,933 --> 01:05:43,966 you created a fake crime only you could solve. 1428 01:05:44,990 --> 01:05:46,599 Why? I was to be so impressed 1429 01:05:46,732 --> 01:05:49,432 that I would crown him co-detective. 1430 01:05:49,565 --> 01:05:52,990 He wanted to rewrite history 1431 01:05:52,233 --> 01:05:54,330 by becoming my partner. 1432 01:05:56,366 --> 01:05:57,799 (CHUCKLES) 1433 01:05:57,933 --> 01:06:00,999 Okay. Now the part about how I could never have done it 1434 01:06:01,133 --> 01:06:03,660 and on to the surprising real killer. 1435 01:06:03,199 --> 01:06:04,666 I wonder who it's going to be. 1436 01:06:04,799 --> 01:06:06,933 When one eliminates the impossible, 1437 01:06:07,660 --> 01:06:09,832 whatever remains, however improbable, 1438 01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:11,233 is the truth. 1439 01:06:12,300 --> 01:06:14,832 But this is absurd. 1440 01:06:14,966 --> 01:06:16,486 Holmes, you must know in your heart... 1441 01:06:16,532 --> 01:06:18,432 The heart is for pumping blood. 1442 01:06:18,565 --> 01:06:21,400 The truth is the truth! 1443 01:06:21,532 --> 01:06:23,233 Truth 1444 01:06:23,366 --> 01:06:27,233 is that I have devoted my life to you. 1445 01:06:27,366 --> 01:06:28,766 And I was a fool to think 1446 01:06:28,899 --> 01:06:30,766 you would ever consider me as a co-detective 1447 01:06:30,899 --> 01:06:34,199 when you're incapable of thinking of me even as a friend! 1448 01:06:34,333 --> 01:06:36,660 (STAMMERING) 1449 01:06:36,199 --> 01:06:37,799 Inspector Lestrade, take him. 1450 01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:39,565 Go on. 1451 01:06:39,699 --> 01:06:40,966 The man is your closest friend. 1452 01:06:41,990 --> 01:06:43,660 Your pursuit of Moriarty has failed. 1453 01:06:43,199 --> 01:06:44,933 You have no suspects. 1454 01:06:45,660 --> 01:06:47,565 The killer still threatens to kill the Queen. 1455 01:06:47,699 --> 01:06:50,400 Is that a chance you're willing to take? 1456 01:06:50,532 --> 01:06:52,565 Take him. What? 1457 01:06:52,699 --> 01:06:55,599 (GRUNTING) 1458 01:06:55,732 --> 01:06:57,732 Do you see his propensity for violence? 1459 01:06:57,866 --> 01:07:00,233 - Do you still doubt me? - OFFICER: Calm down. 1460 01:07:00,366 --> 01:07:05,990 I shall never again carry your blasted magnifying glasses 1461 01:07:06,990 --> 01:07:08,432 or your jars of urine. 1462 01:07:08,565 --> 01:07:10,799 Why are we even saving these? 1463 01:07:10,933 --> 01:07:14,899 And you look stupid in that hat. (GASPS) 1464 01:07:15,330 --> 01:07:18,990 Your head was not meant for hats. 1465 01:07:18,732 --> 01:07:20,990 (GRUNTING) 1466 01:07:20,233 --> 01:07:22,400 Unhand me! No! 1467 01:07:22,532 --> 01:07:23,966 I'll never forget you, John. 1468 01:07:24,990 --> 01:07:26,300 (YELLING, SOBBING) 1469 01:07:26,432 --> 01:07:27,666 Why? 1470 01:07:27,799 --> 01:07:30,990 John Watson devoted his life to you, 1471 01:07:30,233 --> 01:07:31,966 and this is how you repay him? 1472 01:07:32,990 --> 01:07:35,766 Back to America with your ham-dogs and hot-burgers. 1473 01:07:35,899 --> 01:07:38,532 GRACE: At least, in America, our system's fair. 1474 01:07:38,666 --> 01:07:40,866 No citizen can be found guilty 1475 01:07:40,999 --> 01:07:44,532 till his case is heard by a jury of white property-owning men. 1476 01:07:46,199 --> 01:07:48,766 Millie, surely, you must understand. 1477 01:07:54,432 --> 01:07:55,933 (GASPS) 1478 01:07:57,899 --> 01:07:59,532 Fine, go! 1479 01:07:59,666 --> 01:08:02,499 I'm the greatest detective who ever lived. 1480 01:08:02,632 --> 01:08:04,933 You're welcome for solving this case. 1481 01:08:05,660 --> 01:08:07,300 Sherlock abandons Watson! 1482 01:08:23,901 --> 01:08:26,901 _ _ _ 1483 01:08:47,499 --> 01:08:48,566 (GASPS) 1484 01:08:52,166 --> 01:08:54,865 (GASPS SOFTLY) 1485 01:08:58,320 --> 01:08:59,299 (GASPS) 1486 01:09:01,333 --> 01:09:02,533 A tear? 1487 01:09:02,666 --> 01:09:03,999 (HEARTBEAT THUMPING) 1488 01:09:04,132 --> 01:09:05,633 What is this tear? 1489 01:09:07,299 --> 01:09:08,265 (WHIMPERS) 1490 01:09:08,599 --> 01:09:10,466 I... I can't stop it. 1491 01:09:11,833 --> 01:09:13,566 (GASPING) 1492 01:09:16,666 --> 01:09:19,265 What is this warm feeling in my chest? 1493 01:09:25,632 --> 01:09:29,933 ♪ Why am I reeling in confusion? 1494 01:09:30,660 --> 01:09:33,599 ♪ What is this fever in my head? 1495 01:09:33,733 --> 01:09:35,100 ♪ Is it pox? 1496 01:09:35,232 --> 01:09:36,566 ♪ Maybe gout 1497 01:09:36,699 --> 01:09:39,566 ♪ I can't seem to work it out 1498 01:09:39,699 --> 01:09:41,899 ♪ And why 1499 01:09:42,330 --> 01:09:45,766 ♪ Don't I feel triumphant? 1500 01:09:45,899 --> 01:09:48,599 ♪ And why does it seem less than right 1501 01:09:48,733 --> 01:09:51,599 ♪ That Watson's going to hang tonight 1502 01:09:51,733 --> 01:09:56,733 ♪ And gasp and thrash and choke until he's dead? 1503 01:09:56,866 --> 01:10:00,466 ♪ What is this strange sensation 1504 01:10:00,466 --> 01:10:03,320 ♪ Where did I go wrong? 1505 01:10:03,165 --> 01:10:06,232 ♪ Why am I a sobbing, trembling mess? 1506 01:10:06,366 --> 01:10:08,499 ♪ Soon my neck will snap in half 1507 01:10:08,633 --> 01:10:11,232 ♪ I guess ♪ And yet I know somehow 1508 01:10:11,366 --> 01:10:14,799 ♪ And yet right now ♪ If he could hear right now 1509 01:10:14,933 --> 01:10:17,299 ♪ I would still forgive him 1510 01:10:19,966 --> 01:10:23,466 ♪ More or less 1511 01:10:23,599 --> 01:10:26,332 ♪ Please, I don't know Upon whom else to call 1512 01:10:26,466 --> 01:10:29,199 ♪ Nothing is making any sense at all 1513 01:10:29,332 --> 01:10:32,733 ♪ Speak! I need your voice To hear your voice 1514 01:10:32,866 --> 01:10:36,000 ♪ So sweet, so pure, so wise 1515 01:10:40,132 --> 01:10:43,733 ♪ Sometimes the irrational 1516 01:10:43,866 --> 01:10:47,332 ♪ Is truer than the rational 1517 01:10:47,466 --> 01:10:50,599 ♪ The heart can have its reasons 1518 01:10:50,733 --> 01:10:54,900 ♪ Which the head knows nothing of 1519 01:10:55,320 --> 01:10:57,900 ♪ Your brain says Watson's guilty 1520 01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:02,650 ♪ But a stronger force says "No, he's not" 1521 01:11:02,199 --> 01:11:03,866 ♪ What is that force? 1522 01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:05,866 ♪ It's... It's... ♪ Yes? What? 1523 01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:09,432 ♪ It's love... ♪ Love? 1524 01:11:09,566 --> 01:11:13,332 ♪ It's love ♪ It's love 1525 01:11:13,466 --> 01:11:15,466 ♪ It's love ♪ It's love 1526 01:11:15,599 --> 01:11:18,332 ♪ It's love ♪ It's love ♪ 1527 01:11:18,466 --> 01:11:19,833 My God. 1528 01:11:19,966 --> 01:11:21,499 Did I push Watson away 1529 01:11:21,633 --> 01:11:24,299 because I feared losing him to Grace? 1530 01:11:24,432 --> 01:11:26,899 Somehow, I know in my heart... 1531 01:11:28,166 --> 01:11:30,133 Watson is innocent! 1532 01:11:30,266 --> 01:11:34,990 ♪ Time to go and save ♪ Come save me now 1533 01:11:34,233 --> 01:11:40,832 ♪ The man I love ♪ ♪ The man I love ♪ 1534 01:11:43,660 --> 01:11:44,432 HOLMES: Watson! 1535 01:11:44,566 --> 01:11:47,632 I discovered my emotions, and I'm only 46. 1536 01:11:47,766 --> 01:11:50,133 CROWD: (CHANTING) Hang! Hang! Hang! 1537 01:11:50,265 --> 01:11:51,466 (BARKING, GROWLING) 1538 01:11:51,599 --> 01:11:52,899 (ALL CHEERING) 1539 01:11:53,330 --> 01:11:54,100 (MAN LAUGHS WICKEDLY) 1540 01:11:54,232 --> 01:11:56,133 Oh, God. 1541 01:11:56,265 --> 01:11:58,432 CROWD: (CHANTING) Hang Dr. Watson! Hang Dr. Watson! 1542 01:11:58,566 --> 01:12:00,399 WATSON: The dogs seem really unnecessary. 1543 01:12:01,100 --> 01:12:02,100 Sherlock. 1544 01:12:03,666 --> 01:12:04,899 Oh. 1545 01:12:05,330 --> 01:12:06,133 It's you. (CHUCKLES) 1546 01:12:07,265 --> 01:12:08,699 You've brought cake. 1547 01:12:16,133 --> 01:12:18,232 Watson! My brother! 1548 01:12:18,365 --> 01:12:20,200 Watson, where are you? 1549 01:12:20,332 --> 01:12:21,499 Where... 1550 01:12:21,632 --> 01:12:22,866 I'm too late. 1551 01:12:28,330 --> 01:12:29,499 Clever. 1552 01:12:29,632 --> 01:12:32,999 Very, very clever. 1553 01:12:39,133 --> 01:12:41,532 You were always so clever, 1554 01:12:41,666 --> 01:12:43,133 and I never appreciated it. 1555 01:12:44,833 --> 01:12:46,866 But it's not too late to make amends. 1556 01:12:46,999 --> 01:12:48,399 Watson! 1557 01:12:48,532 --> 01:12:50,632 I shouldn't have wasted all my time singing! 1558 01:12:56,200 --> 01:12:57,733 Ah! Grimy news kids. 1559 01:12:57,866 --> 01:12:59,566 I desperately need your help. 1560 01:12:59,699 --> 01:13:01,399 Dr. Watson's in grave danger. 1561 01:13:01,532 --> 01:13:02,966 Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. 1562 01:13:03,100 --> 01:13:04,532 Because of you, you wank! 1563 01:13:04,666 --> 01:13:05,799 I know. 1564 01:13:05,933 --> 01:13:07,532 But I know of a way to save him. 1565 01:13:07,666 --> 01:13:09,799 Please, please help me. 1566 01:13:09,933 --> 01:13:12,499 I must find a way to the docks immediately. 1567 01:13:16,200 --> 01:13:17,532 WATSON: "Moriarty's daughter 1568 01:13:17,666 --> 01:13:19,733 "did the one thing Moriarty never could. 1569 01:13:19,866 --> 01:13:24,399 "She defeated Sherlock Holmes and assassinated the Queen. 1570 01:13:24,532 --> 01:13:27,330 "Sherlock Holmes, the man whom I regarded 1571 01:13:27,166 --> 01:13:30,899 "as the best and the wisest man whom I would ever know 1572 01:13:32,232 --> 01:13:34,766 "was a fraud." 1573 01:13:37,660 --> 01:13:38,332 (SIGHS) 1574 01:13:38,466 --> 01:13:39,999 It is done. (SIGHS) 1575 01:13:40,133 --> 01:13:43,660 A devilish plan worthy of your father. 1576 01:13:43,200 --> 01:13:47,866 The last book in the Sherlock Holmes canon is complete, 1577 01:13:47,999 --> 01:13:50,899 The Case of the Defeated Detective. 1578 01:13:51,330 --> 01:13:54,100 Daddy will be so proud. 1579 01:13:54,232 --> 01:13:55,699 Sherlock will be remembered 1580 01:13:55,833 --> 01:13:58,699 as the man who failed to protect the Queen. 1581 01:13:58,833 --> 01:14:00,432 History shall be rewritten 1582 01:14:00,566 --> 01:14:04,866 at the hand of his loyal partner, Dr. Watson. 1583 01:14:04,999 --> 01:14:06,799 I've done your bidding. 1584 01:14:06,933 --> 01:14:08,365 Now set me free. 1585 01:14:09,232 --> 01:14:11,566 You're gonna die here. 1586 01:14:11,699 --> 01:14:13,100 You gave me your word. 1587 01:14:13,232 --> 01:14:14,699 You swore on the life of the Queen. 1588 01:14:14,833 --> 01:14:18,432 I'm gonna kill the Queen, you big eejit. Boys! 1589 01:14:18,566 --> 01:14:20,399 GIRL: Mrs. Hudson is the killer? Mmm-hmm. 1590 01:14:20,532 --> 01:14:21,599 Gorblimey! 1591 01:14:21,733 --> 01:14:23,660 How'd you work that out? 1592 01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:25,365 Why, it was Watson who told me. 1593 01:14:25,499 --> 01:14:27,899 You see, beet sugar. 1594 01:14:28,330 --> 01:14:30,733 Mrs. Hudson's family recipe and Watson's favorite. 1595 01:14:30,866 --> 01:14:32,386 He never would have left crumbs behind 1596 01:14:32,499 --> 01:14:34,200 unless he was leaving me a clue. 1597 01:14:34,332 --> 01:14:37,666 For, you see, Mrs. Hudson's origins are not so humble. 1598 01:14:37,799 --> 01:14:41,399 She is none other than the daughter of Professor James Moriarty. 1599 01:14:41,532 --> 01:14:42,933 BOY: No, it ain't possible. 1600 01:14:43,660 --> 01:14:46,200 You see, Mrs. Hudson never knew her father. 1601 01:14:46,332 --> 01:14:47,766 He was never present. 1602 01:14:47,899 --> 01:14:49,532 To gain his love, 1603 01:14:49,666 --> 01:14:51,466 she tried to pull off the greatest crime ever. 1604 01:14:51,599 --> 01:14:54,466 Destroy the great Sherlock Holmes. 1605 01:14:54,599 --> 01:14:57,899 She took a job at my house in order to study my methods, 1606 01:14:58,330 --> 01:15:01,232 then used a network of patsies to execute her plans. 1607 01:15:01,365 --> 01:15:04,133 However, it wasn't until I understood feelings 1608 01:15:04,265 --> 01:15:06,133 that I understood her motive, 1609 01:15:06,265 --> 01:15:08,933 her need for her father's love. 1610 01:15:09,660 --> 01:15:12,100 She would gain it by eliminating his greatest enemy, 1611 01:15:12,232 --> 01:15:13,766 me. 1612 01:15:13,899 --> 01:15:17,866 And tonight, she will commit her boldest crime yet, 1613 01:15:17,999 --> 01:15:21,399 killing the Queen here! 1614 01:15:21,532 --> 01:15:23,232 The Titanic. 1615 01:15:23,365 --> 01:15:25,232 The marvel of London. 1616 01:15:25,365 --> 01:15:29,232 A new castle, which runs on coal. 1617 01:15:29,365 --> 01:15:31,899 MAN: Your Majesty, may I introduce Lieutenant Morgan. 1618 01:15:32,330 --> 01:15:33,666 QUEEN VICTORIA: Lieutenant. 1619 01:15:33,799 --> 01:15:36,330 MAN: First Officer Carter. 1620 01:15:36,166 --> 01:15:38,566 - Your Majesty. - First Officer. 1621 01:15:38,699 --> 01:15:41,166 HOLMES: Look, Hudson's goons. 1622 01:15:41,299 --> 01:15:44,365 - Create a diversion. - You go and save Dr. Watson, Mr. Holmes. 1623 01:15:44,499 --> 01:15:45,619 We'll take care of this lot. 1624 01:15:45,733 --> 01:15:47,399 Come on, you tom tit! 1625 01:15:47,532 --> 01:15:49,452 You ain't bigger than a couple of powder monkeys. 1626 01:15:49,532 --> 01:15:50,899 (DOOR OPENS) 1627 01:15:51,330 --> 01:15:52,699 Is there a problem, boys? 1628 01:15:52,833 --> 01:15:55,299 (CHUCKLES) Think we can take them, lads. Aye? 1629 01:15:55,432 --> 01:15:57,466 Walk away now, and I promise you won't get hurt. 1630 01:15:57,599 --> 01:16:00,100 A bunch of runts and a couple of ladies? 1631 01:16:00,232 --> 01:16:02,200 American ladies. 1632 01:16:02,332 --> 01:16:04,399 (HORSE NEIGHING) (CHILDREN SHOUTING) 1633 01:16:06,599 --> 01:16:07,866 MAN: Not my eyes! 1634 01:16:12,733 --> 01:16:15,299 MRS. HUDSON: I'm sorry to do this, Dr. Watson. 1635 01:16:15,432 --> 01:16:17,999 I'm gonna crush your head. 1636 01:16:18,133 --> 01:16:20,899 There's gonna be brains everywhere. 1637 01:16:21,330 --> 01:16:23,499 And I'll not be cleaning up after. 1638 01:16:23,632 --> 01:16:25,330 I know you're threatening me, 1639 01:16:25,166 --> 01:16:27,399 but I can't understand a word you're saying. 1640 01:16:27,532 --> 01:16:29,899 You're staying, Dr. Watson, 1641 01:16:30,330 --> 01:16:33,699 but I'll be on my way to America by the time the bomb explodes. 1642 01:16:33,833 --> 01:16:35,166 Sherlock will save me. 1643 01:16:35,299 --> 01:16:37,660 You'll see. I'll see. 1644 01:16:37,200 --> 01:16:38,899 He won't let me down. 1645 01:16:39,330 --> 01:16:41,200 He won't. He's my best friend! 1646 01:16:41,332 --> 01:16:42,666 (SOBS MOCKINGLY) 1647 01:16:42,799 --> 01:16:44,432 Dollface! 1648 01:16:44,566 --> 01:16:45,999 (WHIRRING) 1649 01:16:46,133 --> 01:16:48,632 (SCREAMING) 1650 01:16:48,766 --> 01:16:50,332 MRS. HUDSON: Come on, boys. 1651 01:16:50,466 --> 01:16:52,632 The bomb goes off in 10 minutes. Sherlock! 1652 01:16:53,332 --> 01:16:55,299 Sherlock! 1653 01:16:56,330 --> 01:16:58,660 Help! Help! 1654 01:16:58,200 --> 01:16:59,866 Sherlock! 1655 01:17:00,499 --> 01:17:01,866 Help! 1656 01:17:01,999 --> 01:17:03,133 (SHOUTS) 1657 01:17:03,265 --> 01:17:04,365 Watson! 1658 01:17:05,330 --> 01:17:06,632 (PANTING) 1659 01:17:06,766 --> 01:17:10,566 Oh, God, if you save me, I'll never touch myself again. 1660 01:17:10,699 --> 01:17:12,966 Watson! Oh, Sherlock. 1661 01:17:13,100 --> 01:17:14,766 You've come for me. I knew you would. 1662 01:17:14,899 --> 01:17:17,660 Watson, good news. 1663 01:17:17,200 --> 01:17:18,466 You're innocent. 1664 01:17:19,399 --> 01:17:21,100 Yes. I know. 1665 01:17:21,232 --> 01:17:23,299 Oh. Thank you. 1666 01:17:23,432 --> 01:17:25,232 Can you forgive me? Of course. 1667 01:17:25,365 --> 01:17:27,799 Now, be a good chap, and get me out of this damn thing 1668 01:17:27,933 --> 01:17:29,632 before it crushes my skull. 1669 01:17:29,766 --> 01:17:31,265 Yes? There's a good chap. Go on. 1670 01:17:31,399 --> 01:17:33,866 (GRUNTS) I won't leave you. Not again. 1671 01:17:33,999 --> 01:17:36,232 That's a lovely sentiment, but I really need you 1672 01:17:36,365 --> 01:17:38,265 to free me from this gear right now. 1673 01:17:38,399 --> 01:17:40,866 Emotions are spewing from my heart. 1674 01:17:40,999 --> 01:17:42,566 Pull yourself together. (SOBBING) Okay. 1675 01:17:42,699 --> 01:17:44,632 Stop crying. 1676 01:17:44,766 --> 01:17:46,364 Because we must get the Queen and everyone else off this ship. 1677 01:17:46,365 --> 01:17:48,100 You see, Hudson has planted a bomb. 1678 01:17:48,232 --> 01:17:49,966 A time bomb, you see? 1679 01:17:50,100 --> 01:17:52,100 You must free me. Do you feel my heart ticking? 1680 01:17:52,232 --> 01:17:54,100 Get me off this fucking wheel! (SOBS) 1681 01:17:54,232 --> 01:17:56,866 All my dreams are coming true. 1682 01:17:56,999 --> 01:18:01,200 In just two minutes, my bomb will go off, killing the Queen. 1683 01:18:01,332 --> 01:18:03,432 Sherlock Holmes will go down in history 1684 01:18:03,566 --> 01:18:06,933 as the worst detective the world has ever known. 1685 01:18:07,660 --> 01:18:10,432 And the name Moriarty will live on forever! 1686 01:18:10,566 --> 01:18:11,933 (FOGHORN BLOWS) 1687 01:18:12,566 --> 01:18:14,200 Father, 1688 01:18:14,332 --> 01:18:16,933 soon, we shall be together again. 1689 01:18:17,660 --> 01:18:19,432 - In America! - MEN: Yeah! 1690 01:18:20,399 --> 01:18:22,200 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1691 01:18:26,999 --> 01:18:29,632 The bomb will detonate in one minute. 1692 01:18:29,766 --> 01:18:31,432 Where could it possibly be? 1693 01:18:32,866 --> 01:18:34,166 WATSON: Wait. 1694 01:18:34,299 --> 01:18:36,660 That kettle drum. 1695 01:18:36,200 --> 01:18:39,200 Those are only ever used in mounted cavalry formations, 1696 01:18:39,332 --> 01:18:41,265 never in a Marine band. 1697 01:18:41,399 --> 01:18:42,599 Perhaps... (GASPS) 1698 01:18:42,733 --> 01:18:45,232 The bomb is in the drum. Very good, Watson. 1699 01:18:45,365 --> 01:18:47,330 But the Queen is standing just beside it. 1700 01:18:47,166 --> 01:18:48,499 She'll be blown to smithereens. 1701 01:18:48,632 --> 01:18:51,699 But how to defuse it in time? 1702 01:18:51,833 --> 01:18:55,466 HOLMES: Time remaining until bomb detonation, 55 seconds. 1703 01:18:55,599 --> 01:18:59,330 Estimated blast radius from bomb, 17 feet. 1704 01:18:59,166 --> 01:19:02,200 Time required to move queen to safety, 12 seconds. 1705 01:19:02,365 --> 01:19:04,100 Solution, move through crowd, 1706 01:19:04,232 --> 01:19:07,299 see Millie for the first time, forget about bomb... 1707 01:19:07,432 --> 01:19:08,532 No. 1708 01:19:12,532 --> 01:19:14,365 Time remaining, 37 seconds. 1709 01:19:14,499 --> 01:19:16,899 Solution, shoot water main to douse bomb, 1710 01:19:17,330 --> 01:19:18,899 remember Millie at the park, forget about bomb. 1711 01:19:19,330 --> 01:19:20,265 No, I forgot about the bomb! 1712 01:19:24,599 --> 01:19:27,133 Watson, what are you doing in my brain? 1713 01:19:27,265 --> 01:19:28,599 WATSON: I'm doing it. 1714 01:19:28,733 --> 01:19:31,200 I'm communicating without words. 1715 01:19:31,332 --> 01:19:33,866 I can't focus. I was trying to formulate a plan, 1716 01:19:33,999 --> 01:19:35,866 and I kept getting off track. 1717 01:19:35,999 --> 01:19:38,466 Holmes, no, you don't. Snap out of it. 1718 01:19:38,599 --> 01:19:40,265 I can't. I'm too emotional. 1719 01:19:40,399 --> 01:19:42,899 Look behind me. The Queen's being blown to bits. 1720 01:19:43,330 --> 01:19:44,599 You have to take control. 1721 01:19:44,733 --> 01:19:46,799 You must be detective for both of us. 1722 01:19:46,933 --> 01:19:48,660 Right. 1723 01:19:49,599 --> 01:19:51,330 WATSON: I know what I must do. 1724 01:19:51,166 --> 01:19:53,330 Estimated blast radius, 1725 01:19:53,166 --> 01:19:54,899 20... No, 30 feet? 1726 01:19:55,330 --> 01:19:56,365 Account for ship's movement. 1727 01:19:56,499 --> 01:19:58,330 Wait. Is that a four or a seven? 1728 01:19:58,166 --> 01:19:59,899 Math is so hard. Hold on. 1729 01:20:00,330 --> 01:20:01,866 What does that "X" mean? Or is that a plus? 1730 01:20:01,999 --> 01:20:03,666 What is that thing? Angle of approach? 1731 01:20:03,799 --> 01:20:05,200 Oh, I don't know how to do angles. 1732 01:20:05,332 --> 01:20:06,498 Should have listened more in school. 1733 01:20:06,499 --> 01:20:08,660 Oh, screw it. Charge! 1734 01:20:08,200 --> 01:20:09,866 (YELLING) 1735 01:20:09,999 --> 01:20:11,265 Out of my way! 1736 01:20:11,399 --> 01:20:12,933 Move! (WOMEN SCREAMING) 1737 01:20:13,660 --> 01:20:15,599 (TICKING) Nine, eight... 1738 01:20:15,733 --> 01:20:17,100 Coming through! (GRUNTS) 1739 01:20:17,232 --> 01:20:18,999 So sorry! ...seven... 1740 01:20:20,330 --> 01:20:21,365 Come on. 1741 01:20:21,499 --> 01:20:22,733 Move your tuchis! (WOMAN GASPS) 1742 01:20:22,866 --> 01:20:24,330 Sorry, friend! (MAN GROANING) 1743 01:20:25,866 --> 01:20:26,933 MRS. HUDSON: ...five, 1744 01:20:27,799 --> 01:20:28,833 four... 1745 01:20:28,966 --> 01:20:30,200 (PEOPLE GASPING) 1746 01:20:31,833 --> 01:20:33,330 ...two... 1747 01:20:34,532 --> 01:20:36,660 (TICKING) 1748 01:20:37,899 --> 01:20:39,330 Aw, shit! 1749 01:20:40,966 --> 01:20:42,933 (CROWD GASPING, MURMURING) 1750 01:20:44,866 --> 01:20:46,100 MAN: Huzzah. 1751 01:20:46,232 --> 01:20:48,200 Huzzah for Sherlock Holmes. 1752 01:20:48,332 --> 01:20:51,733 Sherlock Holmes saved the Titanic. (APPLAUSE) 1753 01:20:51,866 --> 01:20:53,999 - CROWD: Huzzah! - WOMAN: Hurrah for Sherlock! 1754 01:20:54,133 --> 01:20:55,666 MAN 1: Bravo, Sherlock! 1755 01:20:55,799 --> 01:20:57,364 MAN 2: Sherlock Holmes was right about everything! 1756 01:20:57,365 --> 01:20:59,365 CROWD: Hip hip hooray! 1757 01:20:59,499 --> 01:21:02,265 Thank you. Thank you. 1758 01:21:02,399 --> 01:21:05,133 But I could never have done it without Dr. Watson. 1759 01:21:05,265 --> 01:21:09,532 Oh, no. Let Watson's name be forever associated 1760 01:21:09,666 --> 01:21:11,799 with the Titanic. 1761 01:21:11,933 --> 01:21:15,766 So, when you think of your friends and relatives on board the Titanic, 1762 01:21:15,899 --> 01:21:17,399 just remember, 1763 01:21:17,532 --> 01:21:22,660 Dr. John H. Watson put them there. 1764 01:21:22,200 --> 01:21:24,660 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) MAN: Hooray for Watson! 1765 01:21:24,200 --> 01:21:25,699 Bloody good we didn't hang him. 1766 01:21:27,532 --> 01:21:29,660 QUEEN VICTORIA: Dr. Watson, 1767 01:21:29,833 --> 01:21:31,466 you saved us. 1768 01:21:31,599 --> 01:21:33,200 Thank you. 1769 01:21:33,332 --> 01:21:35,699 It has been my pleasure to serve you, Your Majesty. 1770 01:21:37,699 --> 01:21:40,466 (APPLAUSE) 1771 01:21:44,899 --> 01:21:46,532 (KISSES, BLOWS) 1772 01:21:49,866 --> 01:21:50,933 (BLOWS) 1773 01:21:51,660 --> 01:21:52,133 (GUN CLICKS) 1774 01:21:52,265 --> 01:21:53,566 No, Millie. 1775 01:22:04,232 --> 01:22:06,232 I have a confession to make. 1776 01:22:06,365 --> 01:22:08,899 I'm not actually in love with you. 1777 01:22:09,330 --> 01:22:11,166 In order to conclude my investigation, 1778 01:22:11,299 --> 01:22:14,733 it was imperative that I understood what love felt like. 1779 01:22:14,866 --> 01:22:17,332 I'm sorry to have led you on. 1780 01:22:17,466 --> 01:22:19,330 I have a confession as well. 1781 01:22:19,166 --> 01:22:20,666 I was also not in love. 1782 01:22:20,799 --> 01:22:22,265 I was conducting an experiment 1783 01:22:22,399 --> 01:22:25,100 on how easy it is to manipulate the male ego. 1784 01:22:25,232 --> 01:22:28,332 What? I'm sorry I led you on. 1785 01:22:28,466 --> 01:22:30,733 Well, I have another confession. 1786 01:22:30,866 --> 01:22:33,399 Hmm. I was just pretending to have a big ego 1787 01:22:33,532 --> 01:22:36,200 so as to make you think that your experiment was working 1788 01:22:36,332 --> 01:22:38,365 so that I could conclude my experiment on you. 1789 01:22:38,499 --> 01:22:40,265 Well, I had to lead you on 1790 01:22:40,399 --> 01:22:42,733 because I was doing an experiment about how men think 1791 01:22:42,866 --> 01:22:44,865 they can manipulate female scientists while they're doing experiments. 1792 01:22:44,866 --> 01:22:46,699 Well, I have another confession to make. 1793 01:22:47,799 --> 01:22:48,766 (HOLMES GRUNTS) 1794 01:22:51,200 --> 01:22:52,432 (BOTH MOAN AWKWARDLY) 1795 01:22:52,566 --> 01:22:53,833 (PANTING) 1796 01:22:53,966 --> 01:22:55,332 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 1797 01:22:55,466 --> 01:22:56,566 (SIGHS) 1798 01:22:58,332 --> 01:23:01,999 You will be shocked to learn that was my first kiss. 1799 01:23:02,133 --> 01:23:04,532 Mine as well, and we've already mastered it. 1800 01:23:04,666 --> 01:23:05,899 (WHISTLE BLOWS) Yes, indeed. 1801 01:23:06,330 --> 01:23:07,733 All aboard! 1802 01:23:07,866 --> 01:23:10,365 She sails in 20 minutes! 1803 01:23:10,499 --> 01:23:12,299 MAN: Hurry, everyone! Step lively! 1804 01:23:12,432 --> 01:23:14,966 HOLMES: Enjoy your trip on the safest ship to sail. 1805 01:23:15,100 --> 01:23:16,399 Goodbye. 1806 01:23:16,532 --> 01:23:17,899 Farewell, Grace. 1807 01:23:18,330 --> 01:23:19,133 HOLMES: Goodbye, Millie. 1808 01:23:19,265 --> 01:23:21,699 Make sure you get plenty of bed rest. 1809 01:23:21,833 --> 01:23:23,399 There's a good chance you're pregnant. 1810 01:23:23,532 --> 01:23:24,566 I hope so. 1811 01:23:24,699 --> 01:23:26,232 From... From the kissing? 1812 01:23:27,766 --> 01:23:29,466 Yes. Oh, yes. 1813 01:23:30,866 --> 01:23:32,432 What a grand ship. 1814 01:23:32,566 --> 01:23:33,532 Yes. 1815 01:23:33,666 --> 01:23:35,699 (GASPS) Watson, look. 1816 01:23:36,599 --> 01:23:37,899 It's Billy Zane. 1817 01:23:39,100 --> 01:23:40,200 Sherlock. (LAUGHS) 1818 01:23:41,866 --> 01:23:44,866 HOLMES: Wow. He's breathtaking. 1819 01:23:44,999 --> 01:23:46,365 Where's the bar on this canoe? 1820 01:23:51,399 --> 01:23:53,100 Holmes. Mmm. 1821 01:23:53,232 --> 01:23:55,432 I believe I may have solved the one mystery 1822 01:23:55,566 --> 01:23:57,733 which has baffled you all these years. 1823 01:23:58,899 --> 01:24:00,660 What? 1824 01:24:01,499 --> 01:24:02,566 (GASPS) 1825 01:24:03,799 --> 01:24:04,899 Would you mind? 1826 01:24:07,200 --> 01:24:08,365 Ah. 1827 01:24:08,499 --> 01:24:09,599 Do you like it? 1828 01:24:09,733 --> 01:24:12,660 Let's see here. Huh? 1829 01:24:12,200 --> 01:24:14,100 Oh, it suits you. Mmm. 1830 01:24:14,232 --> 01:24:16,599 I think it's perfect. Really? 1831 01:24:16,733 --> 01:24:20,100 You're not just saying that? No, I'm not just saying it. 1832 01:24:20,232 --> 01:24:22,265 Good. Thank you, Watson. 1833 01:24:22,399 --> 01:24:24,166 And I have something for you as well. 1834 01:24:24,299 --> 01:24:26,599 No. No. Please. Step over here. 1835 01:24:26,733 --> 01:24:29,332 Why? I don't deserve anything. 1836 01:24:30,999 --> 01:24:31,999 My dear Watson. 1837 01:24:32,899 --> 01:24:34,566 What do you think? 1838 01:24:34,699 --> 01:24:36,100 It's beautiful. 1839 01:24:52,632 --> 01:24:54,330 (HORSES NEIGHING) 1840 01:24:54,166 --> 01:24:57,365 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1841 01:24:57,499 --> 01:25:01,566 (LIVELY CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) 1842 01:25:01,699 --> 01:25:03,733 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 1843 01:25:03,866 --> 01:25:06,365 Telegram for Professor Moriarty. 1844 01:25:08,833 --> 01:25:09,799 Professor? 1845 01:25:17,265 --> 01:25:19,330 Boy, who sent this?