All language subtitles for HIMYM_S01_E02.Farda.DL

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese Download
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:16,871 Kids, life is a dark road. 2 00:00:16,872 --> 00:00:18,864 You never really know what's up ahead. 3 00:00:18,875 --> 00:00:21,602 One night you're cruising along enjoying the ride, 4 00:00:21,603 --> 00:00:23,302 and then all of a sudden, 5 00:00:24,088 --> 00:00:25,470 you're 28. 6 00:00:25,474 --> 00:00:27,788 And for the birthday boy, lasagna. 7 00:00:27,789 --> 00:00:28,736 Thank you. 8 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,860 Careful. The plate is very hot. 9 00:00:30,861 --> 00:00:31,984 'Kay. 10 00:00:32,893 --> 00:00:34,736 Oh, go on, touch it. 11 00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:38,362 Ah! Sweet damn, that's a hot plate. 12 00:00:39,060 --> 00:00:41,693 All right, so, Barney, are you doing this or what? 13 00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:43,027 Oh, geez, Barney, don't do this. 14 00:00:43,032 --> 00:00:45,252 I have to, it's my birthday present to Ted. 15 00:00:45,252 --> 00:00:47,493 You don't have to. Please, it's going to be embarrassing 16 00:00:47,493 --> 00:00:49,951 and we're going to have to stop coming here, which will suck... 17 00:00:49,951 --> 00:00:52,295 in addition to probably being kind of healthy. 18 00:00:52,901 --> 00:00:57,075 Come on, Marshall, it's the greatest pickup line of all time. 19 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,228 Barney. 20 00:00:58,603 --> 00:01:00,707 Oy, gevalt. 21 00:01:01,642 --> 00:01:04,578 - Ah... Happy birthday, Ted. - Whoo-hoo! 22 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,758 Uh, excuse me, has anyone ever told y... 23 00:01:08,782 --> 00:01:10,035 Oh, my God. 24 00:01:10,043 --> 00:01:11,172 What? 25 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,090 Oh! Call an ambulance! 26 00:01:13,090 --> 00:01:14,883 - What's going on? - Try not to speak. 27 00:01:14,883 --> 00:01:17,098 Here, sit down. Just don't talk, don't talk. 28 00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:19,552 - Is she okay? - I'm serious, call 911. 29 00:01:19,552 --> 00:01:20,841 What's wrong? What's the matter? 30 00:01:20,841 --> 00:01:23,680 Shh! Shh! Just don't move. Don't move. Just try... 31 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:25,848 Here, have some water. Water! 32 00:01:26,710 --> 00:01:27,991 Here, drink this. 33 00:01:27,991 --> 00:01:29,705 Shh! Shh! 34 00:01:30,212 --> 00:01:32,823 You know, the more I watch this, the less convinced I am 35 00:01:32,823 --> 00:01:35,130 that it's the greatest pickup line of all time. 36 00:01:35,130 --> 00:01:36,945 Wait for it. 37 00:01:37,043 --> 00:01:41,088 28. Two more 'til the big one, three-oh. 38 00:01:41,170 --> 00:01:44,288 Actually, my 30th birthday wasn't so bad. 39 00:01:44,293 --> 00:01:47,622 Well, except for the goat in my bathroom. Which is a great story. 40 00:01:47,622 --> 00:01:49,282 But I'll get to that later. 41 00:01:49,282 --> 00:01:53,352 Still, you know, another year older. Still single. 42 00:01:53,352 --> 00:01:56,092 You don't hear your Tedological clock ticking? 43 00:01:56,092 --> 00:01:58,967 Nope. I hit the snooze button. 44 00:01:59,083 --> 00:02:01,130 And here come the paramedics. 45 00:02:01,130 --> 00:02:02,892 Oh, thank God, you're here. 46 00:02:02,892 --> 00:02:04,073 What is going on?! 47 00:02:04,073 --> 00:02:05,661 I think there might be some internal bleeding. 48 00:02:05,661 --> 00:02:08,223 Probably some fractures. We got to get her to the hospital. 49 00:02:08,223 --> 00:02:09,360 What are you talking about? 50 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,773 - You've had a terrible fall. - No, I haven't. 51 00:02:11,773 --> 00:02:14,861 Really? 'Cause I could swear you fell straight out of heaven. 52 00:02:14,861 --> 00:02:16,225 Angel... 53 00:02:18,780 --> 00:02:21,428 Give him your number. What? 54 00:02:21,481 --> 00:02:23,910 Give him your number. What? 55 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:26,710 - Give him your number. - Come on, guys, you're embarrassing me. 56 00:02:26,710 --> 00:02:30,407 - Give him your number. - What are you...? Come on. 57 00:02:30,482 --> 00:02:33,496 They're not going to stop 'til you give me your number. 58 00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:36,757 - All right! - It works! 59 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:42,162 I cannot believe that she gave him her number. 60 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,585 Maybe she really does have a brain injury. 61 00:02:45,611 --> 00:02:47,932 Thank you, everyone. Thank you, everyone. It's been fun. 62 00:02:47,932 --> 00:02:50,860 It's Wendy the waitress. Tip her well. Thanks a lot, guys. 63 00:02:50,860 --> 00:02:53,975 Troilus and Cressida. Neighborhood Playhouse. Check them out, they're good. 64 00:02:55,903 --> 00:02:59,413 I realize why I'm still single. I'm picky. I'm not going to settle. 65 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:01,603 If I'm going to marry someone, she has to be perfect. 66 00:03:01,603 --> 00:03:02,831 Well, what's perfect? 67 00:03:02,831 --> 00:03:04,921 - It's not like I have a list. - Oh, yes, you do. 68 00:03:04,921 --> 00:03:08,283 Attractive, college-educated, she wants two kids-- a boy and a girl... 69 00:03:08,283 --> 00:03:10,022 - That's not hard. I know at least... - I'm not done. 70 00:03:10,022 --> 00:03:13,283 She likes dogs, Otis Redding, does the crossword. 71 00:03:13,283 --> 00:03:16,753 She's into sports, but not so much so that her legs are, like, more muscular than mine. 72 00:03:16,753 --> 00:03:20,081 That weirds me out. And she plays bass guitar like Kim Deal from the Pixies. 73 00:03:20,081 --> 00:03:21,788 Or Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth. 74 00:03:21,793 --> 00:03:23,843 Any Kim from any cool band, really. 75 00:03:23,843 --> 00:03:25,025 Can't be too picky. 76 00:03:25,033 --> 00:03:26,790 You're never going to find this girl. 77 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,552 Exactly. So I'm just going to wait for her to come to me. 78 00:03:29,552 --> 00:03:32,011 I am done trying to plan the unplannable. 79 00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:34,830 So, what, you think fate's just going to take care of it? 80 00:03:34,830 --> 00:03:36,468 That's the plan. 81 00:03:38,460 --> 00:03:41,591 And little did I know, at that very moment, fate-- 82 00:03:41,591 --> 00:03:45,702 in the form of a 600 gigahertz superprocessing computer-- 83 00:03:45,702 --> 00:03:47,546 was taking care of it. 84 00:03:52,391 --> 00:03:53,960 Whoa, you're up early. 85 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,173 Yeah, thought I'd whip up some pancakes. 86 00:03:56,173 --> 00:03:57,140 Does Marshall know? 87 00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:59,038 He's still sound asleep. 88 00:04:05,263 --> 00:04:06,768 Awesome. 89 00:04:06,991 --> 00:04:08,953 So awesome. 90 00:04:08,953 --> 00:04:11,240 God! Best girl ever. 91 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,991 Screw these pancakes, I should cover you in syrup and gobble you up. 92 00:04:14,991 --> 00:04:16,556 Please don't do that. 93 00:04:17,931 --> 00:04:19,696 Hey, is this milk any good? 94 00:04:23,082 --> 00:04:25,593 Oh, yeah, that totally got me yesterday. 95 00:04:25,593 --> 00:04:27,605 God, why didn't you throw it away? 96 00:04:28,722 --> 00:04:31,447 I'm going shopping after work. I'll pick up some milk. 97 00:04:31,890 --> 00:04:35,937 Oh...! These pancakes are delightful. 98 00:04:38,491 --> 00:04:40,228 What's wrong, baby? 99 00:04:41,492 --> 00:04:43,541 This is the high point of my day. 100 00:04:43,541 --> 00:04:44,643 It was true. 101 00:04:44,643 --> 00:04:48,496 See, Marshall had always dreamed of using his law degree to protect the environment. 102 00:04:48,501 --> 00:04:49,980 But he needed money for the wedding, 103 00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:52,785 so he'd been interning for two months at Barney's firm... 104 00:04:52,791 --> 00:04:54,973 and he hated every minute of it. 105 00:04:54,973 --> 00:04:58,453 Hey, Barney, I had some questions about filling out these requisition forms. 106 00:04:58,453 --> 00:05:00,698 Binoculars. Second pair on my desk. 107 00:05:00,732 --> 00:05:04,021 I don't have time to be creepy, dude. I have a lot of work to do. 108 00:05:04,021 --> 00:05:05,885 Just take a look, will ya? 109 00:05:08,491 --> 00:05:10,996 Okay, corner office. Top floor. 110 00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:13,325 Check out that guy. 111 00:05:13,543 --> 00:05:15,373 Name's Clark Butterfield. 112 00:05:15,373 --> 00:05:17,822 He works over at Nicholson, Hewitt and West 113 00:05:17,822 --> 00:05:21,080 and every morning, he orders a sandwich from the deli downstairs. 114 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,345 So? 115 00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:25,333 So guess what I did to that sandwich? 116 00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:26,775 Here, I took a picture. 117 00:05:29,902 --> 00:05:32,287 Oh! Sweet Lord. 118 00:05:32,382 --> 00:05:35,678 And now I'm e-mailing said picture to him. 119 00:05:47,483 --> 00:05:48,965 Ooh! Duck! 120 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,967 That is sick! 121 00:05:53,761 --> 00:05:55,260 Why would you do that? 122 00:05:55,260 --> 00:05:58,913 Who knows? This feud goes so far back I can't remember who fired the first shot. 123 00:05:58,913 --> 00:06:00,856 - You? - Totally. 124 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:07,068 Well, look, if you would just... help me fill out these forms, that would be great. 125 00:06:07,733 --> 00:06:08,691 What? 126 00:06:08,691 --> 00:06:12,473 Butterfield is going to retaliate within the next four hours. That's been his pattern. 127 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:15,330 This is war, Eriksen. I need you to clear your schedule, 128 00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:17,330 call Lily, tell her you'll be home late. 129 00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:18,700 This is stupid. 130 00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:23,022 Stu... Come on, man, I didn't recruit you to work here for your lawyering skills. 131 00:06:23,022 --> 00:06:26,965 I recruited you to be my executive mischief consultant. 132 00:06:27,171 --> 00:06:29,081 This is a job for me, Barney. 133 00:06:29,081 --> 00:06:31,061 It's a way to make some extra wedding money, and that's it. 134 00:06:31,061 --> 00:06:33,506 Now I'm sorry, but I have work to do. 135 00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:38,616 Tracy, could you come in here, please? 136 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,585 Would you please inform Mr. Eriksen that I'm no longer speaking to him. 137 00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:48,540 Mr. Eriksen, Mr. Stinson is no longer... 138 00:06:48,540 --> 00:06:50,165 I get it. Thank you, Tracy. 139 00:06:56,371 --> 00:06:57,180 Hello? 140 00:06:57,180 --> 00:07:01,381 Hello. May I speak with a Mr. Ted Mosby? 141 00:07:01,381 --> 00:07:02,283 Speaking. 142 00:07:02,283 --> 00:07:06,782 Mr. Mosby, how you doing, sir? Bob Rorschach over here at Love Solutions. 143 00:07:06,782 --> 00:07:09,110 You signed up for our services about six months ago. 144 00:07:09,110 --> 00:07:12,130 Uh, yeah. You guys never found me a match. 145 00:07:12,130 --> 00:07:15,573 Right. Well... actually, that's why I'm calling. 146 00:07:15,573 --> 00:07:17,161 We found her, sir. 147 00:07:17,161 --> 00:07:19,255 We found your soul mate. 148 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,948 I don't understand. What happened to Ellen Pierce? Doesn't she run this place? 149 00:07:24,952 --> 00:07:27,643 Well, my firm bought out the company. 150 00:07:27,643 --> 00:07:30,192 You know, we're a high-end meats and textiles conglomerate, 151 00:07:30,192 --> 00:07:34,851 but the geniuses at corporate decided they wanted to diversify, so... 152 00:07:34,851 --> 00:07:36,407 here I am. 153 00:07:36,531 --> 00:07:38,468 So I'm in good hands. 154 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,252 You found me a match? 155 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:44,451 There she is. Your soul mate. That'll be 500 bucks. 156 00:07:44,451 --> 00:07:47,753 No way. The last time I did this, the girl turned out to be engaged. 157 00:07:47,753 --> 00:07:50,690 She's not engaged. She's your soul mate. 158 00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:52,447 Just read the file. 159 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:59,913 So I read the file. And by God, this woman was perfect. 160 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:03,331 She liked dogs, she spent her summers in North Carolina, 161 00:08:03,331 --> 00:08:06,103 she played bass guitar, she did the Times crossword, 162 00:08:06,103 --> 00:08:09,100 she played tennis, she liked old movies, her favorite food was lasagna, 163 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:12,470 her favorite book was Love in the Time of Cholera, her favorite singer was Otis Redding 164 00:08:12,470 --> 00:08:15,876 and she wanted two kids-- a boy and a girl. 165 00:08:16,922 --> 00:08:19,725 All right, fine. Set it up. 166 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,630 You wanted to see me, so I guess that means we're talking again? 167 00:08:23,630 --> 00:08:26,806 Will you taste this latte for me? I think they gave me decaf. 168 00:08:31,453 --> 00:08:32,802 Tastes normal to me. 169 00:08:32,802 --> 00:08:34,222 That's what I thought, too. 170 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,140 Then I got this e-mail from Butterfield. 171 00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:37,505 Oh, God! 172 00:08:38,272 --> 00:08:39,948 It got me as well. 173 00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:42,400 Well, then why did you have me drink it?! 174 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:46,048 Because now... you're in. 175 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:47,926 Okay. 176 00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:51,926 Don't think I'm overlooking the obvious fact that I should just be mad at you. 177 00:08:52,041 --> 00:08:56,827 But Executive Mischief Consultant Marshall Eriksen reporting for duty. 178 00:08:57,193 --> 00:08:59,798 Let's make that bastard pay. 179 00:08:59,911 --> 00:09:01,583 You think that we should brush our teeth first? 180 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,195 Yeah, it's probably a good idea. 181 00:09:04,362 --> 00:09:07,680 So that night I had a blind date with my perfect match. 182 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,760 I was so excited, I got there early. 183 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,795 But before it even started... 184 00:09:14,712 --> 00:09:15,582 Lily? 185 00:09:15,582 --> 00:09:17,393 Hey, Ted, are you busy? 186 00:09:17,393 --> 00:09:19,648 Um... yes. 187 00:09:19,813 --> 00:09:22,113 Oh, right. Soul mate. Forgot. 188 00:09:22,113 --> 00:09:26,772 Listen, could you take a cab out to Duchess County and change a flat on Marshall's Fiero? 189 00:09:26,772 --> 00:09:29,520 What? What? No. 190 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,271 Can't you just call Marshall? 191 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,431 Marshall can't know about this. 192 00:09:33,431 --> 00:09:36,730 Look, Ted, it's dark, I don't know how to change a tire, 193 00:09:36,730 --> 00:09:40,975 and I've stumbled into the beginning of a very scary campfire story. 194 00:09:40,982 --> 00:09:43,371 - Can you please hurry? - I can't, I'm waiting... 195 00:09:43,371 --> 00:09:46,922 Oh, my God, is that a drifter with a hook for a hand? 196 00:09:46,922 --> 00:09:49,032 No, drifter, no! 197 00:09:49,032 --> 00:09:50,261 Come on, Lily. 198 00:09:50,261 --> 00:09:52,177 But you see my point. 199 00:09:53,122 --> 00:09:56,278 All right, stay there. I'm on my way. 200 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:06,545 And so, one $90 cab ride later, I was in the middle of nowhere. 201 00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:09,573 Oh, thank God. 202 00:10:09,573 --> 00:10:12,340 I'm so sorry about this. Did you get ahold of your date? 203 00:10:12,340 --> 00:10:13,020 Y es. 204 00:10:13,020 --> 00:10:15,235 And was she okay about pushing it back? 205 00:10:15,241 --> 00:10:18,062 Yes. Because she's perfect. So what am I doing here? 206 00:10:18,062 --> 00:10:20,296 - You can never tell Marshall. - I won't. 207 00:10:20,301 --> 00:10:24,340 Ever. Swear. Swear on the lives of your unborn boy and girl. 208 00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:26,408 I swear on Luke and Leia. 209 00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:31,626 About a month ago, I started getting insomnia. 210 00:10:31,843 --> 00:10:35,560 Marrying Marshall had been all I wanted for a long time. 211 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:39,620 But, now that it was really happening, it seemed kind of huge and scary. 212 00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:41,422 Did you talk to Marshall about it? 213 00:10:41,422 --> 00:10:45,787 He wouldn't have understood. He's not exactly nervous about tying the knot. 214 00:10:49,630 --> 00:10:52,983 So I spent my nights reading, painting, 215 00:10:52,983 --> 00:10:55,292 setting the high score on Super Bomber Man... 216 00:10:55,292 --> 00:10:56,812 That was you? Awesome! 217 00:10:56,812 --> 00:10:59,493 I know! I just got in the zone and... 218 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,295 Not the point of the story. 219 00:11:01,342 --> 00:11:05,910 And then I started thinking about Victoria and how she followed her dream to Germany, 220 00:11:05,910 --> 00:11:07,911 and I found that art fellowship. 221 00:11:07,911 --> 00:11:10,565 Let me guess. It's somewhere far away. 222 00:11:10,810 --> 00:11:12,555 San Francisco. 223 00:11:12,950 --> 00:11:15,761 But it's not like I'm going to do it. 224 00:11:15,761 --> 00:11:18,058 The dates conflict with the wedding. 225 00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:24,205 But I love painting, and I've always wondered if I'm any good. 226 00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:26,412 This was a way to find out. 227 00:11:26,412 --> 00:11:28,088 And the interview is tonight. 228 00:11:28,092 --> 00:11:29,688 In New Haven. 229 00:11:34,982 --> 00:11:36,796 You don't want to get married. 230 00:11:36,891 --> 00:11:39,365 Of course I want to get married. 231 00:11:39,371 --> 00:11:42,950 I... It's not like I was ever going to do it. 232 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:47,206 I just... I just really wanted to see if I could get this. 233 00:11:47,450 --> 00:11:51,473 Lily, we live in the center of art and culture in America. 234 00:11:51,473 --> 00:11:53,981 I'm sure you could find a program here that's just as selective. 235 00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:58,212 But you chose one in a city 3,000 miles away, and you didn't tell Marshall. 236 00:11:58,212 --> 00:12:00,777 I think it's pretty clear what that means. 237 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:07,156 Okay, I was... I was having second thoughts. 238 00:12:07,881 --> 00:12:10,300 But I'm not any more. 239 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:15,480 I... I mean, this flat tire was a sign. I'm not supposed to do this. 240 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:19,086 I'm supposed to go home and-and be with Marshall. 241 00:12:20,543 --> 00:12:23,965 - You must think I'm so stupid. - I don't think you're stupid. 242 00:12:24,431 --> 00:12:27,625 - I love Marshall. - I know you do. Come here. 243 00:12:30,740 --> 00:12:33,456 It's okay. Look... 244 00:12:33,651 --> 00:12:36,820 Marriage is big. You're allowed to freak out. 245 00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:39,020 But why am I the only one? 246 00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:41,790 How come Marshall isn't doing anything crazy? 247 00:12:41,790 --> 00:12:46,018 So all we need is one large shipping box and 100 white mice. 248 00:12:48,812 --> 00:12:50,055 All done. 249 00:12:52,933 --> 00:12:55,293 Ted, let's go to New Haven. 250 00:12:55,293 --> 00:12:58,053 Lily, don't do this to yourself. 251 00:12:58,053 --> 00:13:00,370 I just need to know if I can get in. 252 00:13:00,370 --> 00:13:03,412 If I do this interview, and get into the program, then I'll know, 253 00:13:03,412 --> 00:13:05,742 and I can forget all about it, and get married. 254 00:13:05,742 --> 00:13:07,430 Come on! It's an adventure. 255 00:13:07,430 --> 00:13:10,195 No, it's not an adventure. It's a mistake. 256 00:13:10,203 --> 00:13:13,706 Okay, yes, it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake. 257 00:13:13,712 --> 00:13:16,893 But there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake 258 00:13:16,893 --> 00:13:18,400 but you don't really know it's a mistake 259 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,400 because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake, 260 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,905 and look back, and say, "Yep. That was a mistake." 261 00:13:23,911 --> 00:13:27,323 So, really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, 262 00:13:27,323 --> 00:13:31,042 because then you go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not. 263 00:13:31,042 --> 00:13:33,285 And, damn it, I've made no mistakes! 264 00:13:33,293 --> 00:13:39,458 I've done all of this-- my life, my relationship, my career-- mistake-free. 265 00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:42,223 Does any of this make sense to you? 266 00:13:42,223 --> 00:13:44,766 I don't know. You said "mistake" a lot. 267 00:13:45,162 --> 00:13:46,881 Lily, don't do this. 268 00:13:46,881 --> 00:13:50,270 Ted, I'm getting married in two months, and I'm freaking out, 269 00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:53,508 and you're my best friend, and you just have to forgive me for this. 270 00:13:53,512 --> 00:13:55,665 Forgive you for what? Lily. 271 00:13:56,081 --> 00:13:57,528 Lily! 272 00:14:01,703 --> 00:14:06,581 Hey, Lily, this is Ted, the guy you left stranded by the side of the road. 273 00:14:06,581 --> 00:14:10,150 I just wanted to say good luck with the interview, remember to pick up some milk... 274 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:14,307 Oh, and, when I get home, I'm going to kill you. 275 00:14:14,752 --> 00:14:17,257 And, also, I texted you the same thing. 276 00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:27,580 - Hey, I need a big favor. - Anything, bro. 277 00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:29,773 I need you to come up to Duchess County and pick me up. 278 00:14:29,773 --> 00:14:30,888 No. 279 00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:33,521 It's kind of an emergency. 280 00:14:33,521 --> 00:14:35,468 What are you doing in Duchess County? 281 00:14:35,510 --> 00:14:38,272 Apple picking. Can you just get up here? 282 00:14:38,272 --> 00:14:40,653 I wish I could help, buddy, but I'm stuck here at work. 283 00:14:40,653 --> 00:14:42,168 We're kind of swamped. 284 00:14:42,212 --> 00:14:43,321 Is that Ted? 285 00:14:43,321 --> 00:14:45,241 Yeah. He's stuck in Duchess County. 286 00:14:45,241 --> 00:14:46,810 Don't you have a big date tonight? 287 00:14:46,810 --> 00:14:49,723 Uh... Marshall. Hi. Yes. Yes, I do. 288 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:52,165 So what are you doing in Duchess County? 289 00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:56,227 Can't a brother go apple picking without getting the third degree? Damn! 290 00:14:56,582 --> 00:14:58,660 Okay, well, hang on. I'm coming to get you. 291 00:14:58,660 --> 00:14:59,655 No! 292 00:14:59,660 --> 00:15:01,163 Relax, man. I'll take the Fiero. 293 00:15:01,163 --> 00:15:05,160 No, no, no. Just... forget it. Ha, ha! A little prank. 294 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,175 I'm not in Duchess County. 295 00:15:07,311 --> 00:15:10,285 So that's the prank? That you're not in Duchess County? 296 00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:13,958 Yep. Gotcha! Classic! 297 00:15:13,962 --> 00:15:15,197 Gotta go. 298 00:15:17,730 --> 00:15:20,875 Hey, check out this one. It actually looks like Butterfield. 299 00:15:23,171 --> 00:15:25,883 You know, over at the NRDC, it's a bunch of really committed people 300 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:29,991 who take their job of saving the earth very, very seriously. 301 00:15:29,991 --> 00:15:32,245 Which is great, and everything, but 302 00:15:32,251 --> 00:15:34,825 I can't imagine having this much fun over there. 303 00:15:35,473 --> 00:15:38,105 You thinking about coming to work here full-time? 304 00:15:38,181 --> 00:15:39,417 Maybe. 305 00:15:39,893 --> 00:15:41,646 Don't tell Lily, okay? 306 00:15:41,702 --> 00:15:43,262 Taking off for the night. 307 00:15:43,262 --> 00:15:44,841 Thanks, Tracy. 308 00:15:44,841 --> 00:15:49,255 Are you guys planning on punching some holes in that box? 309 00:15:49,350 --> 00:15:51,885 Of course we are. 310 00:15:52,983 --> 00:15:54,216 - Were you going to think of that? - No. 311 00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,947 - That would have been bad. - Horrible. 312 00:15:57,311 --> 00:16:01,162 Luckily, there was still one person I could call to get a ride home. 313 00:16:01,162 --> 00:16:02,800 Need a ride, cowboy? 314 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,852 Sorry. I don't get in vans with strangers. 315 00:16:04,852 --> 00:16:07,316 Hmm, too bad. I got candy. 316 00:16:07,321 --> 00:16:09,045 Candy?! 317 00:16:11,152 --> 00:16:12,890 So you're not going to tell me what you were doing 318 00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:15,023 by the side of a highway in Duchess County? 319 00:16:15,023 --> 00:16:16,620 Nope. Sworn to secrecy. 320 00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:18,183 Oh, come on. 321 00:16:18,183 --> 00:16:20,747 - I like your hat. - Right. 322 00:16:21,123 --> 00:16:23,742 This is embarrassing. I got highlights. 323 00:16:23,742 --> 00:16:26,445 Oh, for the waiting room of your dental practice? 324 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:30,837 - Highlights is a children's magazine. - Yeah, I got it. 325 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:35,641 I thought it might look cool. Of course my colorist took "highlights" to mean, 326 00:16:35,641 --> 00:16:38,812 "I want to look like a tiger," hence the hat. 327 00:16:38,812 --> 00:16:41,493 - Oh. I gotta see this. - No way. 328 00:16:41,493 --> 00:16:43,763 Please. I bet it doesn't look that bad. 329 00:16:43,763 --> 00:16:46,108 I bet it looks grr-eat! 330 00:16:47,463 --> 00:16:50,966 So, she says, changing the subject. 331 00:16:51,063 --> 00:16:52,446 Big date tonight. 332 00:16:52,453 --> 00:16:55,106 How does she rate on the Mosby checklist? 333 00:16:55,110 --> 00:16:58,293 Kind of amazingly. Uh, she's 28, like me. 334 00:16:58,293 --> 00:17:00,933 Wow, I'm 28. Hmm. 335 00:17:00,933 --> 00:17:04,332 Uh, college educated-- check. Plays tennis-- check. 336 00:17:04,332 --> 00:17:06,930 Uh, favorite book is Love in the Time of Cholera-- check. 337 00:17:06,930 --> 00:17:08,485 I read that. 338 00:17:08,533 --> 00:17:11,548 More like "Love in the Time of Don't Bothera." 339 00:17:12,951 --> 00:17:15,653 You know, it's very rude to wear a hat indoors. I'm just saying. 340 00:17:15,653 --> 00:17:17,423 We're not indoors. We're in a van. 341 00:17:17,423 --> 00:17:19,172 Vans have doors-- let me see your hair. 342 00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:21,233 Never. What else? 343 00:17:21,233 --> 00:17:23,283 - She loves lasagna. - Barf. 344 00:17:23,283 --> 00:17:26,005 You know, I am sensing a pattern here. 345 00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:27,678 What else? 346 00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:31,886 Let's see what else... Oh, she doesn't look like a tiger-- check. 347 00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,520 And she's looking to get married and have kids? 348 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,261 Check and check. She wants two kids-- a boy and a girl. 349 00:17:38,261 --> 00:17:39,666 Wow. 350 00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:42,381 You know, I've been thinking about this. 351 00:17:42,381 --> 00:17:44,630 I think I want to have zero kids. 352 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,388 Really? You don't want kids? 353 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:50,745 You know, Ted, not everyone is as much of a woman as you. 354 00:17:51,861 --> 00:17:53,667 Hey. I'm driving. 355 00:17:58,043 --> 00:18:01,111 Look at that. 8:56. You're early. 356 00:18:01,111 --> 00:18:03,210 Hey, thanks for picking me up. 357 00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:04,753 Good luck on your date. 358 00:18:04,753 --> 00:18:07,308 I hope she's everything you're looking for. 359 00:18:08,370 --> 00:18:09,686 Thanks. 360 00:18:13,543 --> 00:18:16,337 All right, you've clearly had a rough night. 361 00:18:16,391 --> 00:18:19,661 I want you to go in there with a smile on your face, so, uh, 362 00:18:19,661 --> 00:18:20,990 here's what I'm going to do. 363 00:18:20,990 --> 00:18:22,480 You're going to show me your hair? 364 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:26,565 Actually, I was going to show you my breasts, but... sure, we can do hair. 365 00:18:36,113 --> 00:18:38,238 You just made my night. 366 00:18:39,890 --> 00:18:41,177 Go. 367 00:19:41,212 --> 00:19:44,281 Tomorrow morning, Barney's going to send out the package, 368 00:19:44,281 --> 00:19:47,925 and Butterfield's going to be knee-deep in angry white mice. 369 00:19:48,572 --> 00:19:50,796 - Oh, hey, dude. - Hey, guys. 370 00:19:51,401 --> 00:19:52,427 Hi. 371 00:19:52,612 --> 00:19:53,827 Hey. 372 00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:58,285 So, Lil, did you, uh, get the milk? 373 00:19:59,441 --> 00:20:02,926 Yeah. Yeah, I-I got it. 374 00:20:03,013 --> 00:20:06,795 You think you might want to... drink the milk? 375 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,605 No. 376 00:20:09,081 --> 00:20:11,045 Nope, I'm good. 377 00:20:11,202 --> 00:20:13,365 I don't need any milk. 378 00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:19,160 Look, guys, I know milk is important-- 379 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,940 it's got vitamin A, vitamin D, 380 00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:24,851 it's a great way to start the morning-- but Ted just had a huge date. 381 00:20:24,851 --> 00:20:26,497 How'd it go, dude? 382 00:20:27,082 --> 00:20:28,366 I didn't go. 383 00:20:28,370 --> 00:20:29,863 What? Why? 384 00:20:29,863 --> 00:20:32,455 I changed my mind. I don't want to meet her. 385 00:20:32,611 --> 00:20:34,865 Why? She sounds perfect. 386 00:20:34,882 --> 00:20:36,685 I don't want perfect. 387 00:20:37,301 --> 00:20:38,877 I want Robin. 388 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:43,423 Oh, God, not this again. Ted, it's a mistake. 389 00:20:43,423 --> 00:20:44,688 Maybe. 390 00:20:44,983 --> 00:20:47,743 But it's a mistake I have to make. 391 00:20:47,743 --> 00:20:51,463 Wrong. It's a mistake you don't have to make. Look at the evidence. 392 00:20:51,463 --> 00:20:54,001 You and Robin have tried this again and again... 393 00:20:54,001 --> 00:20:55,711 Here's the thing about mistakes. 394 00:20:55,711 --> 00:20:58,620 Sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake, 395 00:20:58,620 --> 00:21:00,456 you gotta make it anyway. 396 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,280 Ah, sweet damn, that's a hot plate. 397 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,935 Hey, is this milk any good? 398 00:21:10,832 --> 00:21:14,217 Even really really dumb mistakes. 399 00:21:16,730 --> 00:21:19,416 Transcript: Raceman Subtitles: Willow's Team www.forom.com31280

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.