All language subtitles for The.Andy.Griffith.Show.S01E03.iNTERNAL.BDRip.x264-LiBRARiANS-en

(whistling sprightly tune)

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also sfam‘ng Don Knotrs.

(playing bluegrass music)

There he is again‘ Sheriff,

Arrest him.

Well, now...

He's disturbing the peace.

Right in front
of my place of business.

Well, now let's be realistic
about that thing.

In your business,
I don't n‘ghtly see

who he could be disturbing.

He's disturbing me; that's who.

My business requires
quiet and dignity.

Dignity!

You know the law.

Town ordinance prohibits him

trorn playing on the street.

Well, yeah, you‘re right, but...

Well, then...

Orville, he's right
in the middle of a chorus.

Now give him a chance to finish.

Thank you.

Howdy, Jim.

You sure are sounding
better than ever.

Yeah?

Yeah, boy.

Uh, listen, y‘all,

Orville, he's getting
a little upset

about us all standing
around out here

in the tram
of his place of business.

Might be a good idea
to just move along all of us,

Appreciate it.

Andy?

Huh?

I got myself a new pick

from that store
in Winston-Salem.

Sure makes a difference,
don't it?

Yeah, boy.

That number was
some kind of pretty,

Thank ya.

You're welcome.

You're also under arrest.

Again?

Yeah.

Disturbing the peace.

Picked a good day
to get arrested, though,

-0h?
-Yes, sir.

Aunt Bee's fixing chicken
and dumplings for dinner.

J‘ Ridin’
on that new river train I

J' Ridin' on that
new river train I

J‘ Same old train
that brought me here I

J‘ Gonna take me back again I

J' Darlin‘, you can‘t love one I

J‘ Daltin’,
you can‘t love one I

I Can't love one
and have any fun I

J‘ Oh, darlin',
you can‘t love one I

Sing, Barney,

BOTH: J‘ Ridin'
on that new river train I

J' Ridin' on that
new river train I

J‘ Same old train
that brought me here I

J‘ Gonna take me home again I

One more.

J‘ Ridin’
on that new river train I

J' Ridin' on that
new river train I

J‘ Same old train
that brought me here I

J‘ Gonna take me back again! I

Oh, that is good.

I mean to tell you.

Good now, Andy.

Hi, Aunt Bee.

Oh, Jim, it's so nice
to see you.

Wasn't that good, Aunt Bee?

It sure was.

You sure brighten up this place
when you get arrested.

He sure does.

Thank you again.

You know, Andy told me

we're going to have
chicken and dumplings,

And that is what it is.

Let's see.
Let's see, let's see.

Mmm, don‘t that look
good enough to eat?

Hey, you know something?

I'd rather be arrested
by you folks

than anybody I know.

Andy,

you coming home for dinner?

Yes‘m, l‘ll bethere
pretty soon,

Soon as Barney eats.

You want to go ahead and eat?

Yeah, I'm about to faint.

Good. I'll have
everything ready.

Bye, Jim.

See you the next time
you're dragged in.

Bye, Aunt Bee.

I'll see you, Aunt Bee.

Jim?

Hmm?

Why in the world
don't you do something

about yourself?

What do you mean, Andy?

Well, you got a fine talent
there.

You the best guitar player
I ever heard.

Well, that‘s mighty nice
of you, Andy.

but Mayberry ain't very big.

Well, now who says
you gotta stay in Mayberry?

You've heard all these tellas

that come through here
playing in the shows.

How about that fella we see

every now and then on television

shaking and screaming?

Sound like somebody/s
beating his dog.

You're better than all of them.

Well, now, I wouldn't say that.

Well, yes, you are, too.

You want some cream?

No, thank you.

You are. I know it.

If you went to New York or one

ot the other big towns and, you
know, showed them what you got,

why, they/d say,
"Boy, where have you been?"

Oh, yeah, they‘d say,
'Where you been

and why don‘t you go back
as fast as you can?"

You reckon?

Yeah, You know
what else they'd say?

"Don‘t call us, boy;
we’ll call you."

I ain‘t got no phone.

No, Andy,
that wouldn't work at all.

Wouldn’t you like to make
yourself some real money?

You know, folding kind?

Oh, that'd be nice.

Yes, siree.

Maybe even get to be
some kind of a celebrity?

Folks running around after you

wanting your autograph?

Yeah?

Yeahl It'd be worth learning

how to write just for that,

| tell you, Andy.

It's just that I don't teel
that I’m ready.

Well, when do you think
you gonna be readjfl

When you‘re old and got
a long gray beard?

| tell you the truth,

a thing like that
can interfere with your pickin’.

You‘re ready now, boy, and you
better do something about it.

You won't pay a bit of attention
to anybody, will ya?

You beat anything
I ever seen in my life.

| tell you the truth,

I don‘t even know why
I bothered to arrest you.

You put that down, Talbott!

All right, hog 'em all yourself!

I've told you a hundred times

these are state criminals.

Now, the post office is only
supposed to put up Federals.

You know they ain't been
sending me none lately.

And how‘s it look
for a postmaster

to have a half-empty
bulletin board?

Talbott, your main business
is selling stamps,

Now with you, wanted criminals
is just a sideline.

Here I am set up with
all kinds of poster space

and I ain't got
half as many as you.

Now, Talbott,
don't go running down

that bulletin board of yours,

Why, you may not have
many posters

but one thing
nobody can take away—

you got quality.

Huh?

Well, look there.

What do you see there?

Petty thieves, wife beaters.

Why, what we got there
can't begin to compare

with what you got—

train robbers, counterfeiters,

smugglers.

Not to even mention
foreign spies.

And them are master criminals.

Yes, siree!

Why, our whole stock of wanteds
don't even come close

to one
of your pretty boy Floyds.

You know, I never thought
of it that way.

(chuckles)

Say, Talbott,

now, uh, I want
to be fair about this.

I'll tell you what I’ll do.

l'll trade you two wife beaters
for one srnuggler.

-Make it three,
-Three?l

And throw in one
of them moonshiners.

-Then you throw in
a countertefierl -No deal.

Aw, go on back
to your stamp cage,

And shine up
your little tin badge.

Aw, you clerk.

Hey, now!
Simmer down there, boys.

It's a fine thing

when two government agencies
can't cooperate.

I don‘t know why
you both can‘t look

at your bulletin boards
with pride

and count your blessings.

(horn blaring
"my dog has fleas")

Well, lookee yonder—
real live musicians.

I better get back
to the post office.

I might pick up some
money-order business,

"Bobby Fleet and His
Band WRh a Beat."

Did you ever hear of them?

No. No, the only band
that ever come through here

was that one-man band
from Altoona.

-You remember?
-Yeah, I remember.

Wasn't that the fellow
that got all mixed up

and come dern near
popping his eyes out

blowing through
the wrong end of a clarinet?

Say, let's go see
if these fellows

are gonna do
their beating in Mayberry.

Yeah, that’s a good idea.

They'll probably need
police cooperation

handling crowds, parking,
and such as that.

| lspect.

Thanks, baby doll.

Here you are.

Never mind, honey.

l'll handle this.

All right, fellas,
who ordered a clean glass?

Honey,

could you rustle up
a little something--

like, even a menu?

We want to be out of here
at least be Judgment Day.

Here, take your water.

Howdy. You fellas
gonna be playing

somewhere around town?

Town? Did you hear that, fellas?

This is a town.

(men laughing)

Yeah, it's the town of Mayberry

and I'm Sheriff Taylor.

Well, glad to know you, Sheriff.

Hey, what's on the flip side?

"If lost, please return
to Wyatt Earp."

(men laughing harder)

(chuckling)

Yeah, that was pretty good.

How long was it you said
you's gonna be staying?

I tell ya, if we don't get
some service soon...

Well, here she comes now—

the cannonball express.

Ah, you gorgeous hunk
of feminine pulchritude

how would you like to be
our new champagne lady?

Say, are you fellas really
looking for talent?

Because if you are...

Don't tell me.

You got somebody
right here in Mayberry.

Yeah, we have.

Jim Lindsays his name.

Sorry, Hiram.

Got to go.

Uh, hey, honey,
I'll tell you what.

We'll make it easy on you.

We'll all have todays special.

Okay, fellas,
if one goes, we all go.

(laughter)

You know something, fellas?

You know, if they ever had
a beauty contest in this town

nobody would win.

(laughter)

You was awful nice
to that smart-alecky feller.

He's one of them joke crackers,

Yeah.

Yeah, well, it's a good thing

he didn't start in on me.

I might have just had
to give him

a butt in the choppers.

Oh, now, Barney,
you know better than that.

Well, I'm a mean man
when I get riled.

Takes a bit of doing, but you
can bring out the bear in me.

Much as I dislike that fella,

I still wish I could get him
to hear Jim.

Jim would make it
if he had a chance, you know.

I reckon my temperll
do me in one day,

Too bad they ain’t
staying overnight.

Wait a minute.

Huh?

How come you reckon

we allow this
curious-looking outfit here

to park on our main street?

Well, I don't know.

Because we got a sign there

that says "parking one hour"?

Well, yeah,
but the way I see it,

that means parking
one hour for one car.

Yeah?

Well, now, it's plain
to see this outfit here

takes up as much space
as two cars.

Yeah. Yeah, it does.

Now, the way I see it,

this here thing is only entitled
to a half a hour.

30 minutes for each end.

You know, you got
a fine head for a lawman?

Well...

Now, how long you figure
they’ve been here?

Well, it was about
1:30 when they come,

Well, in just a little bit,
they'll be violating the law.

Yeah. You gonna turn me
loose on them then?

It‘ll be your responsibility.

No, now we’ll just go in quiet-
like and have a cup of coffee.

All right,
but keep an eye on me.

I‘m dangerous
when I get worked up,

Come on, tiger.

Guilty as charged.

That'll be $20
or 24 hours in jail.

20 fish
for a cmmmy parking rap?!

Well, we try to keep it low
for the first offense.

Yeah, and how much
of the 20 do you stick

in your own kick?

Oh, I wish
you had n't of said that.

I mean, ldon't mind
a insult personally,

but, why, you've offended
the dignity of my robes.

Now, let‘s see.

What is

our price
for robe dignity offending?

Why, that's $50.

$50?!

Yeah, plus the 20.

That’s 70 all together.

Aw, come on, now!

Look, Sheriff, there's no reason

to get hot under
the collar over this.

I mean, you've got yourjob
to do, and I've got mine.

Now, uh.,,
Oh, that reminds me.

We're going to be playing
in the capitol

over the weekend.

Now, how would you
and yourfine deputy here

like to come and see us, huh?

I‘ll see that
you have a big time.

0h, you'll be
my guests, of course.

0h. .

Now, you have really done it.

What? What,
what, what, what?!

Well, you just tried
to bribe me is all.

That‘s the worst thing
anybody can do.

I hate to tell you
what the fine is on that.

Never mind I don‘t care
what the fine is.

I'm not going to pay it.

Oh, you mean
you'll take the 24 hours?

That’s just what I mean.

No hick sheriff
is going to bleed me.

We'll all stay overnight.

Well, that's the way
it'll be, then.

-Deputy, lock up the prisoners.
-Glad to!

All right, let's move it along!

Come on, on the double there!

Come on, let's look sharp!

Look, sharp!

Come on, get in there.

And suck in that gut!

Oh, don't worry about your bus.

It'll be fine
right out there on the street.

Prisoners all locked up,
Sheriff.

Want me to work 'em over?

You go get Jim Lindsay

and bring his guitar
along with him.

Yeah.

Kind of nice being part
of the show business.

Paw!

I'm home from school, Paw.

Hi,

You seen my Paw?

He's the sheriff.

You mean he‘s human enough
to have kids?

Huh?

Never mind.

He stepped out for a minute.

0h.

Paw musta rounded up a gang.

You look like from the city.

Are you a criminal?

According to your Paw I am.

Paw's never wrong.
What crime did you do, criminal?

I didn‘t do anything.

Your old man framed
the whole thing--

the hick troublemaker.

0w!

Ow, you...

What in the world's goin' on?

That kids a little monster.

He called you
a hick troublemaker

so I kicked him.

Opie!

H-he didn‘t mean it.

I did, too!

Now, Opie, you hush that,

You gonna have him
not likin' us.

What do we want a criminal
to like us for?

Well, never mind.

You hurry up and go on home now.

Huny up.

Sheriff, Sheriff...

Jim wouldn‘t come.

He says he ain‘t going
to play for a feller

that’s settin‘ behind bars
and forced to listen.

Well, don‘t that beat anything
you ever heard of?

All right, if he won't
take advantage

of this one chance in a million,

I reckon we'll just have
to do it for him.

Deputy Fife,
I hereby authorize you

to arrest Jim Lindsay
and his guitar with him.

-Yes, sir.
-Okay.

What'll l arrest him for?

Disturbin‘ the peace.

-Oh, yeah.
-Okay.

Supposing he ain't
disturbin' the peace?

Well, then, haul him in
for questioning.

-Questioning.
-Yeah.

Yeah, questioning.

What kind of questioning?

We'll figure out some,

Now, go on.

Here he is, Sheriff.

He put up a fuss,
but I brought him.

Oh, fine work, Deputy,

Well, look, Andy,
make him put that gun away.

Now, he's liable
to hurt somebody,

Oh, I don't see how he can.

‘Tain't got no bullets in it.

It ain't?

Oh, well, that's different.

Now, now, wait a minute.

You was still brought in
by a officer of the law

for questioning.

Questioning?

Yeah.

Oh, that's silly...

Now, lookee here, boy,

i—if you make one more move

I'm gonna have to arrest you
for resisting.

Andy, I believe...

You moved.

Lock him up, Deputy.

Come on, Jim.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

Hey, Jim, I'd like you
to meet Mr. Fleet.

Oh, yeah, I saw

his fancy wagon outside there.

Look, Sheriff, you hauled me in
just to bug me with this kid--

well, you're wasting your time,
I'm not gonna listen,

Well, don't get your fur
to flyin', mister.

Because I got no intentions

of playin' to you
or anybody else.

That's great. I'm in no mood
for a hillbilly concert.

Hillbilly concert?

You wouldn't appreciate
good music.,.

Now, now, now, gentlemen...

Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet!

Just hold itdown.

This is a jailhouse.

Let's show some respect.

Go ahead, Sheriff.

Thank you, Deputy.

Gentlemen, are you implyin'

that a man in my office
would stoop to trickery?

That cuts me...

deep.

Now, | arrested you
on a legal parking charge.

| arrested prisoner Lindsay here

on a legal resistin‘ charge.

You saw it yourself—

ain't that right, Deputy?

Right as rain.

Matter of fact,
I'm shocked anyone

would even think
that Sheriff Taylor here

would stoop so low
as to use his high office

for anything as sneaky
as gettin' you two in here

so‘s one could hear the other.

I'm more than shocked.

I'm outraged.

I appreciate
them loyal words, Deputy,

Well, I meant 'em, Sheriff.

What number are you
gonna play, Jim?

Ah—ha! I knew it.

Well, I‘m not gonna
play for anybody.

Well, I reckon you know
your own mind, Jim,

but it seems a shame

to let this fine
guitar go to waste.

What was that piece
you was playin' this morning?

Oh, he was in rare form,
Mr. Fleet.

Yeah, I'll bet.

Look here, Andy, you're not
gonna trick me into playin'.

Because I said I wasn't
gonna play and I ain‘t.

Shemff, now can we go?

Oh, come on, Sheriff, we got
an overnight jump to make.

Hush a minute.

Aww, look, he said he
wasn't gonna play,..

Hush, hush a minute.

Jim, would you tune
this thing for me?

I ain‘t playin’.

Well, I don't want you to play—

just tune 'n so i can,

All right, l‘ll tune it

but from then on,
you're on your own.

Okay.

(d issonant stmmming)

Aw, that's beautiful.

Beautiful.

Hey, Sherifl, you were right—

this kid is dynamite.

Hey, fellas, you listenin'?

Go on, kid, keep playin'.

Aw, naw, it can't be.

Is that a guitar
or a harp from heaven?

(men laughing)

Go ahead, kid, keep lookin'

for what you're lookin' for.

Go on, keep lookin', kid.

You got it.

It's the key of "."S
He found it.

(men laughing)

(tuned strumming)

(rockabilly beat)

(trumpetjoins in)

That‘s great.

Well, now, Mr. Fleet,

that wasn't too bad, was it?

Looked like you kinda
enjoyed yourself there.

Yeah . Yeah !

You like him?

Well, let's put it this way, uh,

I dig him.

That's nice.

Uh, tell me something,
Mr. Fleet,

if-if you was lookin'
for a gu'tar player

and if Jim here
was available, uh,

would you hire him?

FLEET: Yeah. I could always
use a good gu'tarist,

That‘s too bad, Jim.

If you was ready,
look like you would have a job.

Uh, Mr. Fleet,
uh, if Jim was ready

and if you was to hire him

and if you was ready
to talk money...

Well, the money...

now, Jim...
you're interruptin' me

right in the middle
of my iffin‘,

What I was gonna say is, uh,

how much you reckon
you'd pay him?

To start?

Oh, uh, 75,
maybe a hundred a week.

Oh, that's...

now there you've
insulted the boy.

Huh?

Why, he can‘t work

for little bitty money
like that.

Why, he can make more
than that messing around here

playin' at church socials
and openings of feed stores.

What are you, Charlie—

a sheriff or an agent?

Oh, l'mjust Jim's friend,

I reckon he'll have
to think on it

and decide after that.

And in the meantime, though

Uh, you don't call him,
he'll call you.

Now, wait a minute.

Wait just a doggone minute
here, everybody.

Now, you two‘ve been
talkin' over me

like a Spavine horse
on an auction block.

Now I'd like to say
something ifyou don't mind.

Look, Mr. Fleet,

now, I don't rightly care
about the money

right at this moment

but the most important thing is,

am I good enough for your band?

If I am, then you just say so

and then we‘ll talk
about the money afterwards,

Now, let‘s take
first things first.

Do | get that job
with your band or don't I?

Yeah, kid. I said
I‘d take you on,

Well, I‘d be obliged to you.

Okay, get your stuff and be
at the car in 15 minutes.

Yes, sir.

Let‘s go, boys.

So long, Sheriff.

Say hello to Tonto.

All right.

We'll see you, boys.

It was real nice havin‘ you.

Come back when you can.

Andy, I don't know...

lwouldn't waste much time
talkin’ if I was you.

You ain‘t got but 15 minutes.

You better get
your stuff together.

He said he was leavin'.

Yes, sir.

And I'm goin' with him.

Hey, Jim, one thing
about this fella Fleet~

Yeah?

Uh, he digs you,

so you be nice
and dig him back, you hear?

Yeah, I'm glad things worked out
the way they did, Mr. Fleet.

Yep. Who expected to find
a talented kid like him here?

Oh, we got a lot of talented
people here in Mayberry,

Yeah, we got a harmonica player
folks think‘s pretty good.

How about that.

Yeah. Would you like
to hear him?

Oh, no, it might be
too much trouble.

Oh, no trouble at all.

(playing "Jingle Bells")

Barney, I don‘t think
he digs you,

(whistling sprightly tune)