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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:04,830 Okay, folks, you might want to put on some sunscreen. 2 00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:08,051 Up this high, the trees start to thin out. 3 00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:09,618 Oh, this might be a good place for a picture. 4 00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:10,749 Oh, let me go behind that rock. 5 00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:12,186 I'll change into my next look. 6 00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,274 Another one? 7 00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,667 He has to. His Instagram follower demands it. 8 00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:16,538 Eagle! 9 00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:18,061 Oh, wait, false alarm. 10 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,628 It's just a plastic bag in a tree. 11 00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:20,411 Eagle! 12 00:00:20,455 --> 00:00:21,934 Nope. Sorry. 13 00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,023 Bag fell. 14 00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:25,460 Every winter, 15 00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,853 I take a bird-watching trip with my buddies... 16 00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:29,855 specifically to see a bald eagle. 17 00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:31,683 So far, no luck. 18 00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:35,122 This year, my buddies bailed... back spasm, cracked hip. 19 00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:38,081 And I'm the idiot for installing a shower chair. 20 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,865 I was all set to go solo, 21 00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:42,651 when those three tagalongs invited themselves. 22 00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:44,261 They invaded my territory 23 00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:46,872 like a bunch of bay-breasted warblers. 24 00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:49,136 Darned if I didn't feel like a bay-breasted warbler 25 00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:52,704 horning in on Jay's trip, but Gloria made us go. 26 00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:54,228 She was worried about my dad 27 00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:56,186 being out in the woods alone at his age, 28 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,884 so she... she gently nudged us to join him. 29 00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:01,539 Gloria, if my dad doesn't want us t... 30 00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,571 Hey, Dad, uh, whatcha doin' this weekend? 31 00:01:03,668 --> 00:01:06,327 - Ah, little nature trip. - Oh! Sounds like fun. 32 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:07,241 - Count us in! - Yes. 33 00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:09,199 Actually, I was looking for a little alone time... 34 00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:12,855 Hey! Am I the only one with bald eagles on the brain? 35 00:01:13,704 --> 00:01:15,249 You know what? I think in about 10 minutes, 36 00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:18,556 the light's gonna be perfect for my "Afternoon Adventurer" look. 37 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,689 Okay, uh, before we head deeper into the woods, 38 00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:24,171 I should warn you folks that there's been several bear sightings in the area. 39 00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:26,521 - So if you happen to have any food with you... - Got it! 40 00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:29,393 [Backpack thuds] 41 00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:33,136 I was going to say you can store it in this bear box... here. 42 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,181 Oh. Um, okay. 43 00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:35,791 Well, then, talk amongst yourselves. 44 00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:37,271 It could take me a while 45 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,403 to find where my manly heave sent that heavy... 46 00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:41,623 Ah! Here it is. Someone must've heaved it back. 47 00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:42,798 Thank you! 48 00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:54,288 ♪♪ 49 00:01:56,947 --> 00:01:58,162 Hello! 50 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,690 Oh, hey, Gloria. Thanks for coming. 51 00:02:00,733 --> 00:02:01,996 It's gonna be such a fun girls' night... 52 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:04,737 drinking wine, planning the nursery. 53 00:02:04,781 --> 00:02:06,043 Okay, I was going to surprise you, 54 00:02:06,087 --> 00:02:08,959 but I can't wait anymore. 55 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:12,876 It's a handmade mobile of great women in history! 56 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,443 Eleanor Roosevelt, 57 00:02:14,486 --> 00:02:15,313 Rosa Parks! 58 00:02:15,357 --> 00:02:16,358 - [Squeals] - Ohh! 59 00:02:16,401 --> 00:02:19,013 I just hope it goes with the theme that Dylan wants for the room. 60 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,797 Are any of these women important in the fields 61 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,755 of fire trucks or unicorns? 62 00:02:22,799 --> 00:02:23,600 Claire: Oh! 63 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,602 How perfect is this? 64 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:30,389 They delivered the crib, and I know just the crew of handy honeys 65 00:02:30,433 --> 00:02:31,782 to help me put it together. 66 00:02:31,826 --> 00:02:33,697 Uh, not now, Mom. I've had the worst day. 67 00:02:33,741 --> 00:02:34,698 Me, too. 68 00:02:34,742 --> 00:02:35,917 Quick, start crying. 69 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:37,919 We need to derail her enthusiasm before she's... 70 00:02:37,962 --> 00:02:39,703 Unh! Too late. 71 00:02:39,747 --> 00:02:40,965 She's dancing. 72 00:02:41,009 --> 00:02:43,228 Way to rock it, girlfriend! 73 00:02:44,186 --> 00:02:46,101 I cannot deny it anymore. 74 00:02:46,144 --> 00:02:48,930 I am turning into a white woman. 75 00:02:48,973 --> 00:02:51,546 [Indistinct talking] 76 00:02:51,552 --> 00:02:53,586 Is there a problem, girlfriends? 77 00:02:53,630 --> 00:02:55,066 Spin class was canceled! 78 00:02:55,110 --> 00:02:56,502 [Gasps] No! 79 00:02:56,546 --> 00:02:58,330 What are we gonna do with our day? 80 00:02:58,374 --> 00:02:59,810 "When In Doubt... 81 00:02:59,854 --> 00:03:00,855 Brunch." 82 00:03:00,898 --> 00:03:02,421 Where's the nearest place that serves kale 83 00:03:02,465 --> 00:03:04,336 and also has a pun in its name? 84 00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:06,643 There's an Underground Kale-Road down the street! 85 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,993 - [Gasps] Thank God. - Let's go! 86 00:03:09,037 --> 00:03:10,865 I've gotten soft lately. 87 00:03:10,908 --> 00:03:13,171 I think I've lost my Colombian edge. 88 00:03:13,215 --> 00:03:15,739 I think we'll all feel better if we accomplish something. 89 00:03:15,783 --> 00:03:16,914 Yes. Unlike Jay. 90 00:03:16,958 --> 00:03:20,744 He's been going on these hunting trips for 20 years, 91 00:03:20,788 --> 00:03:24,095 and not once has he brought home a bald eagle! 92 00:03:24,139 --> 00:03:25,923 [Paper rustling] 93 00:03:28,926 --> 00:03:29,753 Oh, God. 94 00:03:29,797 --> 00:03:31,320 Hendrix couldn't read music, 95 00:03:31,363 --> 00:03:33,017 Shaq couldn't make free throws, 96 00:03:33,061 --> 00:03:35,846 and I have a little trouble visualizing space and scale. 97 00:03:35,890 --> 00:03:38,196 So, I think this closet design gives us everything we need 98 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,807 in a tight, residential space. 99 00:03:39,850 --> 00:03:40,808 Yeah. Very clever. 100 00:03:40,851 --> 00:03:42,026 Take a walk-through. 101 00:03:42,070 --> 00:03:43,985 Does the flow make sense? 102 00:03:44,028 --> 00:03:44,942 Well, um... 103 00:03:44,986 --> 00:03:47,423 [Clears throat] I would get out of the shower 104 00:03:47,466 --> 00:03:50,034 and throw my clothes in the hamper here, 105 00:03:50,078 --> 00:03:51,601 pick out an outfit, and then get dressed right here. 106 00:03:51,644 --> 00:03:52,776 [Chuckles] 107 00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,473 You just threw your clothes in the fireplace 108 00:03:54,517 --> 00:03:56,171 and got dressed in front of the picture window. 109 00:03:56,214 --> 00:03:59,478 Well, you have your morning routine, Mia. 110 00:03:59,522 --> 00:04:01,437 I have mine. 111 00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,353 All right, let's get this over with. 112 00:04:04,396 --> 00:04:05,920 Mom, where do we start? 113 00:04:05,963 --> 00:04:06,873 Um... 114 00:04:06,903 --> 00:04:10,011 Maybe Mommy just needs some cougar juice! 115 00:04:10,054 --> 00:04:11,060 [Sighs] 116 00:04:11,155 --> 00:04:12,970 What's wrong with me? 117 00:04:14,390 --> 00:04:15,666 Watch your step, folks. 118 00:04:15,704 --> 00:04:18,628 Some of the terrain gets a little tricky on this part of the hike. 119 00:04:18,671 --> 00:04:19,803 - Oh. Good. - I thought I'd changed 120 00:04:19,847 --> 00:04:22,588 into my "Remote Trailhead" look too soon. 121 00:04:22,632 --> 00:04:24,590 You okay, Dad? Want to stop and take a break? 122 00:04:24,634 --> 00:04:26,984 No, no. I just want to stop and maybe see an eagle. 123 00:04:27,028 --> 00:04:28,333 Everybody look. 124 00:04:31,199 --> 00:04:33,251 You've been doing this for 20 years and never seen one, huh? 125 00:04:33,295 --> 00:04:34,949 Correct. Shh. 126 00:04:34,992 --> 00:04:36,428 [Quietly] Oh. 127 00:04:38,082 --> 00:04:39,954 Yeah. Mother Nature can be a real... 128 00:04:39,997 --> 00:04:42,043 [Quietly] Phil, stop talking! 129 00:04:42,086 --> 00:04:43,653 You're scaring the eagles! 130 00:04:43,696 --> 00:04:46,047 [Whispering] I'm sorry. My bad. My bad. 131 00:04:46,090 --> 00:04:48,876 - Also sorry in my head. - Oh, my God! 132 00:04:48,919 --> 00:04:51,182 Since we're talking again, uh, we should start heading back. 133 00:04:51,226 --> 00:04:52,662 It'll be dark soon. 134 00:04:52,705 --> 00:04:55,012 Or, if you'd like, there's a cabin just up this trail. 135 00:04:55,056 --> 00:04:56,187 It's pretty run-down, but, uh, 136 00:04:56,231 --> 00:04:57,275 you're welcome to spend the night. 137 00:04:57,319 --> 00:04:59,060 - I'll do it. - Oh. 138 00:04:59,103 --> 00:05:00,626 Are... Are we sure that's a good idea? 139 00:05:00,670 --> 00:05:02,890 Um... wasn't there... wasn't there mention of bears? 140 00:05:02,933 --> 00:05:05,196 No, you go home. I'll stay by myself. 141 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,060 [Whispering] We... We can't let him stay by himself. 142 00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:08,544 We told Gloria we'd keep him safe. 143 00:05:08,613 --> 00:05:10,223 Yeah, if he's staying, we're staying. 144 00:05:10,317 --> 00:05:12,972 Yeah. Yeah. What... What's the worst that could happen? 145 00:05:13,015 --> 00:05:14,669 I mean, in the movies, when city folk stay overnight 146 00:05:14,713 --> 00:05:17,542 in abandoned cabins, things usually pan out okay. 147 00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,587 Anyway, I'm gonna run ahead, see if they have any postcards 148 00:05:19,631 --> 00:05:22,242 up at this poorly guarded mental institution. 149 00:05:24,026 --> 00:05:25,898 Damn it, I'm starving. 150 00:05:25,941 --> 00:05:28,030 Nothing in here but an old bottle of whiskey. 151 00:05:28,074 --> 00:05:30,032 Well, just try not to think about how hungry you are 152 00:05:30,076 --> 00:05:31,643 or that Mitchell left the food in the bear box. 153 00:05:31,686 --> 00:05:33,645 We all left the food in the... 154 00:05:33,688 --> 00:05:34,472 Did you change again? 155 00:05:34,515 --> 00:05:35,473 [Camera clicks] 156 00:05:35,516 --> 00:05:36,909 Yeah, I just threw a few things together 157 00:05:36,952 --> 00:05:38,693 to create a "Rustic Cabin" look. 158 00:05:38,737 --> 00:05:41,304 Phil: Well, at least the bears won't be a concern. 159 00:05:41,348 --> 00:05:42,654 Take it from a Realtor. 160 00:05:42,697 --> 00:05:44,873 This Smith & Wiley lock is the gold standard. 161 00:05:44,917 --> 00:05:46,527 [Wind gusts] 162 00:05:53,491 --> 00:05:55,710 - [Drill whirring] - All right, I think we are now ready 163 00:05:55,754 --> 00:06:00,353 to put together our beautiful, L-shaped crib. 164 00:06:00,397 --> 00:06:02,834 I-I... This can't be right. One's way bigger. 165 00:06:02,877 --> 00:06:05,358 And what, my babies are supposed to come and go as they please, 166 00:06:05,402 --> 00:06:06,925 like they're in a halfway house? 167 00:06:06,968 --> 00:06:10,363 Um, so, a minor misreading of the diagram. 168 00:06:10,407 --> 00:06:13,497 I think we're just gonna need to swap a short side for a long side. 169 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,802 And in the meantime, we bent that bracket. 170 00:06:14,846 --> 00:06:17,283 Alex, would you mind running down to the hardware store? 171 00:06:17,327 --> 00:06:18,632 No way. 172 00:06:18,676 --> 00:06:20,591 I don't trust myself to drive anymore. 173 00:06:20,634 --> 00:06:22,593 I signed up to be the student liaison 174 00:06:22,636 --> 00:06:24,159 for a visiting scholar on campus... 175 00:06:24,203 --> 00:06:25,726 Sir Kenneth Penrose. 176 00:06:25,770 --> 00:06:28,163 Yes, that Sir Kenneth Penrose. 177 00:06:28,207 --> 00:06:30,296 Rock star of the microbiology world. 178 00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:31,950 I know you must hear this a lot, 179 00:06:31,993 --> 00:06:33,734 but you're the reason I took up snooker. 180 00:06:33,778 --> 00:06:34,822 - [Chuckles] - Do you still play? 181 00:06:34,866 --> 00:06:36,824 I've had to lay down my cue lately. 182 00:06:36,868 --> 00:06:39,523 I've been working for months on an Ebola vaccine. 183 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,220 Just moments ago, I had a breakthrough. 184 00:06:41,263 --> 00:06:43,178 I can't wait to get to the lab and jot... 185 00:06:43,222 --> 00:06:44,528 - Hey! - Aah! 186 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:45,659 [Tires squealing] 187 00:06:45,703 --> 00:06:47,661 Whoa! That was my chemistry advisor. 188 00:06:47,705 --> 00:06:49,837 I would not want to be known as the girl who... 189 00:06:49,881 --> 00:06:50,838 [Tires screech] 190 00:06:50,882 --> 00:06:53,101 - Sir Kenneth? - [Groans] 191 00:06:53,145 --> 00:06:54,581 W-Where am I? 192 00:06:54,625 --> 00:06:56,453 You don't know the shame. 193 00:06:56,496 --> 00:06:57,758 Now they won't let me drive around 194 00:06:57,802 --> 00:07:01,109 anyone smarter than a sociology professor. 195 00:07:01,153 --> 00:07:03,198 You know what else hit the ground today? Me. 196 00:07:03,242 --> 00:07:06,680 While I was bending over to pickup a doughnut off the floor! 197 00:07:06,724 --> 00:07:08,421 It was covered in dust balls, but I didn't care, 198 00:07:08,465 --> 00:07:09,988 'cause I'm a disgusting pig monster. 199 00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:10,989 Oh, honey, please. 200 00:07:11,032 --> 00:07:12,425 You're as... 201 00:07:12,469 --> 00:07:13,774 as beautiful as ever. 202 00:07:13,818 --> 00:07:15,646 Tell that to MugScan. 203 00:07:15,689 --> 00:07:19,432 MugScan is a face-recognition program we use at work. 204 00:07:19,476 --> 00:07:21,260 It was really mean to me. 205 00:07:21,303 --> 00:07:23,480 [Computer beeping] 206 00:07:23,523 --> 00:07:24,568 Good morning, Wayne. 207 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:25,569 Wayne? 208 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,440 I'm not Wayne, you jerk! 209 00:07:27,484 --> 00:07:28,441 [Groans] 210 00:07:28,485 --> 00:07:30,312 Gosh! 211 00:07:30,356 --> 00:07:32,445 [Can clatters] 212 00:07:32,489 --> 00:07:33,446 [Blows] 213 00:07:33,490 --> 00:07:34,447 [Crunches] 214 00:07:34,491 --> 00:07:37,058 [Pop, air hissing] 215 00:07:37,102 --> 00:07:38,669 [Sighs] 216 00:07:38,712 --> 00:07:39,496 You all right, Haley? 217 00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:42,629 I'm fine, Wayne. 218 00:07:42,673 --> 00:07:45,023 One of my shoes flew off in the fall, 219 00:07:45,066 --> 00:07:47,591 and I couldn't put it back on because my feet were so swollen. 220 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,550 You know who makes a great shoe? New Balance. 221 00:07:50,594 --> 00:07:52,726 I wear them when I power-walk to Neil Diamond. 222 00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:53,684 [Inhales sharply] 223 00:07:53,727 --> 00:07:56,687 Hey, Mom, is this divider a little too high? 224 00:07:56,730 --> 00:07:58,384 No. No, it's supposed to be that way. 225 00:07:58,428 --> 00:08:00,821 That way, if one twin wants to visit the other, 226 00:08:00,865 --> 00:08:04,259 he can just go, "Ah, doot, doot, doot. Hi!" 227 00:08:04,303 --> 00:08:06,174 - Aaaah! - Hey! 228 00:08:06,218 --> 00:08:07,262 [Smacks lips] 229 00:08:07,306 --> 00:08:09,743 Couple thoughts. 230 00:08:10,788 --> 00:08:12,703 - Pair of 7s. - Ace high. 231 00:08:12,746 --> 00:08:15,619 Everyone, I'd like you to meet Don Lemon and RuPaul, 232 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,490 - a pair of black queens. - [Sighs] 233 00:08:17,534 --> 00:08:19,623 Mitchell, that's the third time you've wandered over there. 234 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:20,841 What are you doing? 235 00:08:20,885 --> 00:08:22,974 - [Muffled] Nothing. - He's got something in his mouth. 236 00:08:23,017 --> 00:08:24,628 - Get him! - No. No, I don't. - Come here! 237 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,195 - No, no, no! [Grunts] - Don't... Don't fight. Don't... 238 00:08:27,239 --> 00:08:28,283 He has beef jerky! 239 00:08:28,327 --> 00:08:29,432 That's the last of it. I swear. 240 00:08:29,494 --> 00:08:31,635 - He's lying. Check his pockets. - No, I... [Grunts] 241 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,872 - Stop it, stop it, stop it! - It's a family pack! 242 00:08:33,965 --> 00:08:36,185 I hope the jerky was as delicious as the irony. 243 00:08:36,228 --> 00:08:38,143 - Give it! - No, stop it! Stop it... 244 00:08:38,187 --> 00:08:39,754 No! 245 00:08:39,797 --> 00:08:40,798 Great. 246 00:08:40,842 --> 00:08:42,539 We're sending beef smoke signals 247 00:08:42,583 --> 00:08:44,149 to a forest full of bears. 248 00:08:44,193 --> 00:08:45,977 I'm sorry! I should've shared! 249 00:08:46,021 --> 00:08:48,371 Meanwhile, there is a sack full of hiking snacks 250 00:08:48,415 --> 00:08:49,372 just up the road! 251 00:08:49,416 --> 00:08:50,373 Brie, prosciutto, 252 00:08:50,417 --> 00:08:53,028 not to mention a wonderful maple-walnut butter 253 00:08:53,071 --> 00:08:55,378 that Gloria recommended on her Pinterest board. 254 00:08:55,422 --> 00:08:56,379 That's it. I'm going out there. 255 00:08:56,423 --> 00:08:57,380 Jay, wait! 256 00:08:57,424 --> 00:09:00,035 If you see a bear, remember... 257 00:09:00,078 --> 00:09:01,645 blind it with the flash on your phone, 258 00:09:01,689 --> 00:09:03,778 then lie on your back in a submissive pose. 259 00:09:03,821 --> 00:09:05,954 I'm not doing that. If I come face-to-face with a bear, 260 00:09:05,997 --> 00:09:06,998 he better run! 261 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,875 It's darker out there... 262 00:09:13,918 --> 00:09:15,442 Aaaaaaaah! 263 00:09:17,138 --> 00:09:18,967 Are you sure it was the best idea 264 00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:20,664 to attach these before moving them upstairs? 265 00:09:20,708 --> 00:09:23,972 Yeah, I eyeballed the space. It really should fit easily. 266 00:09:24,015 --> 00:09:25,626 - Ow! - [Grunts] 267 00:09:25,669 --> 00:09:27,976 Except Alex apparently has steered us into a jam. 268 00:09:28,019 --> 00:09:28,781 [Doorbell rings] 269 00:09:28,881 --> 00:09:31,196 Oh, that must be the pizza guy. Coming, Carl! 270 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,111 You know the pizza guy's name? 271 00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:34,330 No! 272 00:09:36,854 --> 00:09:38,682 - Hi. - Hey, Haley. 273 00:09:38,726 --> 00:09:41,119 Surprised to get an order from you before midnight. 274 00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:43,644 By the way, how'd you like that custom shrimp and potato pizza? 275 00:09:43,687 --> 00:09:46,777 [Laughing] I don't even know what you're talking about. 276 00:09:46,821 --> 00:09:48,213 [Quietly] Loved it. Love you. 277 00:09:48,257 --> 00:09:49,432 [Normal voice] Gonna go get my wallet! 278 00:09:49,476 --> 00:09:52,435 [Cellphone rings] 279 00:09:52,479 --> 00:09:54,263 - [Cellphone beeps] - Mom? 280 00:09:54,306 --> 00:09:55,092 Okay. 281 00:09:55,151 --> 00:09:57,571 Alex, run downstairs and get a screwdriver. 282 00:09:57,614 --> 00:09:59,660 This whole thing will fit easily once we take the cribs apart. 283 00:09:59,703 --> 00:10:00,617 Gloria: We don't even know 284 00:10:00,661 --> 00:10:03,228 if this thing is gonna fit through the bedroom door. 285 00:10:03,272 --> 00:10:04,708 Of course it will. 286 00:10:04,752 --> 00:10:07,581 But if it makes you happy, I will measure again. 287 00:10:07,624 --> 00:10:09,017 Hmm. 288 00:10:09,060 --> 00:10:10,627 Hmm? 289 00:10:13,369 --> 00:10:14,370 See? 290 00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,415 [Creaking] 291 00:10:17,547 --> 00:10:19,244 You always record over my programs... 292 00:10:19,288 --> 00:10:20,594 Whoa! 293 00:10:20,637 --> 00:10:22,117 Gah! Aah! 294 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,293 - Oh! - Ow! 295 00:10:26,774 --> 00:10:28,471 Okay, no, how about this? 296 00:10:28,515 --> 00:10:31,456 We all band together to form one big man 297 00:10:31,491 --> 00:10:32,257 to go get the food. 298 00:10:32,301 --> 00:10:33,607 - Cameron: No! - How's that supposed to work? 299 00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:35,561 Okay, back to back, um, and... and then link arms. 300 00:10:35,648 --> 00:10:37,541 - Okay. - Turn around, give me your arm. 301 00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:39,332 See, look? Like this, all right? 302 00:10:39,376 --> 00:10:42,117 - Do we look big and scary? - Well, I think so. 303 00:10:42,161 --> 00:10:43,945 Let's move towards the door. 304 00:10:43,989 --> 00:10:46,126 [Owl hooting] 305 00:10:46,131 --> 00:10:47,906 Okay. 306 00:10:47,949 --> 00:10:50,125 Nice and easy. 307 00:10:50,169 --> 00:10:55,130 We're just one big man out for a walk in the woods. 308 00:10:55,174 --> 00:10:56,393 - [Twig cracks] - Scatter! 309 00:10:56,436 --> 00:10:58,046 Aah! 310 00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,483 [Panting] 311 00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:01,223 We made it. Oh! 312 00:11:01,267 --> 00:11:02,825 Wait! Where's Mitchell? 313 00:11:02,869 --> 00:11:03,870 He didn't make it! 314 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:05,089 One of you two need to go get him! 315 00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:07,004 I'm better staying here as a bear decoy. 316 00:11:07,047 --> 00:11:08,309 I give off a natural musk. 317 00:11:08,353 --> 00:11:10,964 Birds land on me all the time. Squirrels eat out of my hand. 318 00:11:11,008 --> 00:11:12,966 Well, I can't go! Lily needs at least one living parent! 319 00:11:13,010 --> 00:11:14,968 [Pounding on door] 320 00:11:15,012 --> 00:11:16,013 Wait! 321 00:11:16,056 --> 00:11:17,318 How do we know it's not the bear? 322 00:11:17,362 --> 00:11:18,319 Mitchell: It's me! 323 00:11:18,363 --> 00:11:19,755 [Door opens] 324 00:11:19,799 --> 00:11:21,192 You just left me! 325 00:11:21,235 --> 00:11:22,367 Oh, you weren't out there that long. 326 00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:23,672 You didn't get the food?! 327 00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:24,978 I almost was food! 328 00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:27,763 Okay, I-I wish I never even came on this stupid trip! 329 00:11:27,807 --> 00:11:28,808 Well, who forced you? 330 00:11:28,851 --> 00:11:30,244 - Gloria! - [Cameron gasps] 331 00:11:36,686 --> 00:11:38,251 It's my delivery ankle. 332 00:11:38,295 --> 00:11:39,818 It's really bad, dudes. 333 00:11:39,861 --> 00:11:42,560 It was already weak from your paintball injury, Carl. 334 00:11:42,603 --> 00:11:44,127 I told you to get it checked out, 335 00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:45,389 but you and doctors. 336 00:11:46,825 --> 00:11:49,262 Okay, fine, I know him a little. 337 00:11:49,306 --> 00:11:51,003 When it rains, it pours, huh? 338 00:11:51,047 --> 00:11:52,222 - Margaret-Anne left me this morning. - Aw! 339 00:11:52,265 --> 00:11:55,007 Then my dad called me "Craig" on the phone again. 340 00:11:55,051 --> 00:11:56,574 That's the name of his new son. 341 00:11:56,617 --> 00:11:58,793 Oh, God. Carl, can we at least drive you home? 342 00:11:59,307 --> 00:12:00,143 Not now. 343 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:03,059 I have 10 pizzas going to my enemies, the Sigmas. 344 00:12:03,102 --> 00:12:05,887 Those rich kids get their kicks taking advantage 345 00:12:05,931 --> 00:12:07,150 of our "30 Minutes or it's Free" policy... 346 00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:09,152 use every trick in the book to slow me down. 347 00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:11,241 Well, not tonight, Chad and Chip. 348 00:12:11,284 --> 00:12:12,416 Not to... Aaaah! 349 00:12:12,459 --> 00:12:14,418 The bone's got to be sticking out, right? 350 00:12:14,461 --> 00:12:17,029 No, it's not even swollen. 351 00:12:17,073 --> 00:12:19,075 Look, Carl, we've all had rough days. 352 00:12:19,118 --> 00:12:21,033 Why don't you let us finish this delivery for you? 353 00:12:21,077 --> 00:12:23,079 Okay, but we've only got, like, 10 minutes. 354 00:12:23,122 --> 00:12:24,167 Let's go, then! Come here. 355 00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:25,472 - Okay. - Come on! 356 00:12:25,516 --> 00:12:28,084 It'll feel good to get something right today. 357 00:12:28,127 --> 00:12:30,608 Plus, I wouldn't mind sticking it to some preppy, white jerks. 358 00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:33,872 Hey! That life comes with its own problems! 359 00:12:38,268 --> 00:12:40,183 [Sighs] Don't be mad, Dad. 360 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,706 Gloria was just worried about you. 361 00:12:41,749 --> 00:12:43,099 I don't want to talk about it. 362 00:12:43,142 --> 00:12:44,926 Let's just have a drink and be quiet. 363 00:12:47,886 --> 00:12:50,323 Lot of colors in that fire, huh? 364 00:12:50,367 --> 00:12:52,760 Red, green... 365 00:12:52,804 --> 00:12:54,458 - yellow, blue... - Geez. Okay. 366 00:12:54,501 --> 00:12:57,243 What is this yammering with you?! Seriously! 367 00:12:57,287 --> 00:12:58,505 I don't know. 368 00:12:59,985 --> 00:13:03,032 I guess I just don't like being alone with my own thoughts. 369 00:13:04,424 --> 00:13:06,513 Maybe it's because I have a couple of grandkids on the way, 370 00:13:06,557 --> 00:13:08,211 but now, if... if things get too quiet, 371 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,648 my mind goes to a dark place fast. 372 00:13:10,691 --> 00:13:13,216 I start to worry about the people that I love 373 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,131 and all the bad things that could happen to them. 374 00:13:16,349 --> 00:13:19,439 I suppose talking... pushes those thoughts out 375 00:13:19,483 --> 00:13:21,311 and helps me feel okay. 376 00:13:21,354 --> 00:13:22,790 I get it. 377 00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:24,314 We can all spiral. 378 00:13:24,357 --> 00:13:26,098 But you can't talk your way out of it. 379 00:13:26,142 --> 00:13:28,753 You got to think your way out of it. 380 00:13:28,796 --> 00:13:30,885 You know, find a happy place. 381 00:13:30,929 --> 00:13:32,452 Try this. 382 00:13:32,496 --> 00:13:34,715 30 seconds, no talking. Go. 383 00:13:36,413 --> 00:13:37,936 [Exhales sharply] 384 00:13:52,429 --> 00:13:54,126 - Buddy, where are you? - I'm back. Yep. 385 00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:56,259 You know, I think we can learn a lot from this guy, 386 00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:57,477 because it's not the... 387 00:13:57,521 --> 00:14:00,567 the bears out there that we're afraid of. 388 00:14:00,611 --> 00:14:01,786 It's the bears in our lives... 389 00:14:01,829 --> 00:14:04,267 the fear that keeps us up at night. 390 00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:07,226 And I think that's an interesting topic we can return to 391 00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:09,707 once I change into my "Fireside Chat" look. 392 00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:11,056 Another wardrobe change? 393 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,406 You're like a sultan's bride on her wedding day. 394 00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:15,365 Go ahead... make fun of me. 395 00:14:15,408 --> 00:14:16,844 I like my outfits. 396 00:14:16,888 --> 00:14:18,194 Why so many? 397 00:14:18,237 --> 00:14:19,630 Yeah, I guess when I was a kid, 398 00:14:19,673 --> 00:14:21,501 I realized I wasn't ever gonna fit in, 399 00:14:21,545 --> 00:14:23,416 so I decided to stand out. 400 00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:25,375 I embraced my flamboyance 401 00:14:25,418 --> 00:14:27,768 to let the world know their insults won't hurt me. 402 00:14:27,812 --> 00:14:30,162 Want to make a joke about me? Go ahead, 'cause I'm in on it. 403 00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:31,511 [Chuckles] 404 00:14:31,555 --> 00:14:33,644 That's really beautiful, Cam. 405 00:14:33,687 --> 00:14:35,950 And you're not alone. 406 00:14:35,994 --> 00:14:39,345 Growing up, we were all insecure nerds in our own way. 407 00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:42,827 I was cool. 408 00:14:45,569 --> 00:14:47,745 What? I thought we were sharing. 409 00:14:47,788 --> 00:14:50,487 That's very brave, Cam. That's good stuff. 410 00:14:54,795 --> 00:14:56,754 Are you crazy?! I shouldn't be the one driving! 411 00:14:56,797 --> 00:14:58,756 There is no time to argue! Just go! Come on! 412 00:14:58,799 --> 00:15:00,985 [Tires squeal] 413 00:15:01,043 --> 00:15:03,039 Thanks so much for making me part of your group. 414 00:15:03,082 --> 00:15:05,606 It's not every day you make four new best friends. 415 00:15:07,043 --> 00:15:08,783 [Scoffs] Why are they going so slow?! 416 00:15:08,827 --> 00:15:10,176 I can't get past them! 417 00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:12,004 This is one of Sigma's tactics. 418 00:15:12,048 --> 00:15:13,179 They track my location on the app 419 00:15:13,223 --> 00:15:15,051 and send pledges to try to slow me down. 420 00:15:15,094 --> 00:15:16,226 Ugh! What am I gonna do?! 421 00:15:16,269 --> 00:15:17,836 - [Seat belt unbuckles] - I'll handle this. 422 00:15:17,879 --> 00:15:19,925 Carl, I'm taking your paintball guns! 423 00:15:20,492 --> 00:15:23,146 Move! Or I move you! 424 00:15:27,715 --> 00:15:29,065 I do still have my edge! 425 00:15:29,108 --> 00:15:30,066 Yes! 426 00:15:30,109 --> 00:15:31,371 [Laughs] 427 00:15:31,415 --> 00:15:33,243 Will you join my paintball team? 428 00:15:33,286 --> 00:15:34,505 [Tires screech] 429 00:15:34,548 --> 00:15:35,490 What is that?! 430 00:15:35,572 --> 00:15:37,377 Field of Minions. Classic Sigmas. 431 00:15:37,421 --> 00:15:39,597 Don't get distracted by the cuteness. We only have five minutes. 432 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:40,946 Claire: Just go around them. 433 00:15:42,078 --> 00:15:43,122 [Women groaning] 434 00:15:46,608 --> 00:15:48,001 Oh, my God, I did it! 435 00:15:48,045 --> 00:15:49,307 And you're all still in the car! 436 00:15:49,350 --> 00:15:50,961 Okay, now, we can't give them any reason to say 437 00:15:51,004 --> 00:15:52,092 that we didn't fill the order perfectly, 438 00:15:52,136 --> 00:15:53,746 so check the pizzas, make sure they didn't shift. 439 00:15:53,790 --> 00:15:55,879 Oh, Haley, I'm sure you're worrying about nothing... 440 00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,707 - [Tires squeal] - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 441 00:16:02,146 --> 00:16:03,930 Carl, do you have a pizza slicer? 442 00:16:03,974 --> 00:16:06,193 Only the commemorative one I got for 10 years of service. 443 00:16:06,237 --> 00:16:07,847 Give it to me. I have a vision. 444 00:16:08,710 --> 00:16:10,981 Shaq and Hendrix never got past their blind spots. 445 00:16:11,024 --> 00:16:12,983 Maybe they didn't want it enough. 446 00:16:13,026 --> 00:16:15,638 Turning 9 pizzas into 10 was a simple matter 447 00:16:15,673 --> 00:16:17,649 of removing one slice from each pie, 448 00:16:17,684 --> 00:16:19,337 then trimming off a V-shaped portion of pizza 449 00:16:19,380 --> 00:16:20,991 from each of the remaining slices, 450 00:16:21,034 --> 00:16:22,949 turning them from 36-degree angles to 40-degree angles, 451 00:16:22,993 --> 00:16:24,690 then putting together the 40-degree angles 452 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,605 into nine slightly smaller pies. 453 00:16:26,648 --> 00:16:29,042 After that, one had only to repurpose 454 00:16:29,086 --> 00:16:31,044 the nine previously removed slices 455 00:16:31,088 --> 00:16:32,045 into a 10th pie. 456 00:16:33,003 --> 00:16:34,918 And... 10! 457 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,136 It worked! 458 00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:37,224 It really did. 459 00:16:37,268 --> 00:16:39,052 I do have a visual brain. 460 00:16:39,096 --> 00:16:39,923 That was your thing? 461 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,229 I do not miss having white-people problems. 462 00:16:42,273 --> 00:16:43,143 [Tires screech] 463 00:16:43,472 --> 00:16:45,116 Alex: We're here! I did it! 464 00:16:45,151 --> 00:16:47,582 We only have a minute to get the pizzas inside. Let's go! 465 00:16:47,626 --> 00:16:49,889 Oh, wait, wait, wait! Uh, the frat has a video doorbell. 466 00:16:49,933 --> 00:16:52,152 If they see it's a delivery, they try to run out the clock. 467 00:16:52,196 --> 00:16:54,241 I'll handle this. 468 00:16:55,939 --> 00:16:57,288 [Whispering] Stay on that side. 469 00:16:57,331 --> 00:16:58,855 [Doorbell buzzes] 470 00:16:58,898 --> 00:17:00,030 Frat guy: Yeah? 471 00:17:00,073 --> 00:17:02,162 [Slurring] Hi. Um...[Laughs] 472 00:17:02,206 --> 00:17:05,035 I go to U of A, and I'm super drunk. 473 00:17:05,078 --> 00:17:08,038 Is there a place where I can sober up for the night? 474 00:17:08,081 --> 00:17:09,822 [Gate buzzes] 475 00:17:09,866 --> 00:17:12,912 At least my looks can still get me into a frat house. 476 00:17:12,956 --> 00:17:14,000 Okay, guys, go, go! 477 00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:17,482 10 pizzas on time. 478 00:17:17,525 --> 00:17:18,396 Pay up! 479 00:17:18,439 --> 00:17:19,832 You guys with Carl? 480 00:17:19,876 --> 00:17:21,921 We are Carl. 481 00:17:24,228 --> 00:17:26,056 Come on, hurry up! A bet's a bet! 482 00:17:26,099 --> 00:17:28,406 I told you I could stand on one leg longer than you! 483 00:17:28,449 --> 00:17:30,843 You're the only one whose balance gets better 484 00:17:30,887 --> 00:17:32,671 after drinking a jug of whiskey. 485 00:17:32,714 --> 00:17:35,108 All right. My follower is gonna love this! 486 00:17:35,152 --> 00:17:36,196 Everybody say "Cheese!" 487 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,415 - Together: Cheese. - Yes. 488 00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:39,199 Okay, now, that is how you build a brand. 489 00:17:39,243 --> 00:17:41,854 Well, I guess we should kill the rest of this whiskey. 490 00:17:41,898 --> 00:17:43,203 But then we'll have nothing to serve the murderers 491 00:17:43,247 --> 00:17:44,291 when they arrive. 492 00:17:44,335 --> 00:17:45,858 You know, you joke, 493 00:17:45,902 --> 00:17:48,730 but you have a certain paranoia about you. 494 00:17:48,774 --> 00:17:49,862 What... What's behind that? 495 00:17:49,906 --> 00:17:50,863 Well... 496 00:17:50,907 --> 00:17:53,213 Ooh! Are we about to hear about Mitchell's bear? 497 00:17:53,257 --> 00:17:55,520 Uh, okay. It... It's, um... 498 00:17:55,563 --> 00:17:57,435 I've never told anyone this, but, uh, 499 00:17:57,478 --> 00:17:59,959 a fortune teller once predicted 500 00:18:00,003 --> 00:18:02,353 that I would not live to see my 46th winter. 501 00:18:02,396 --> 00:18:05,269 Was that that kook that used to live next door to us? 502 00:18:05,312 --> 00:18:06,139 She's nuts. 503 00:18:06,183 --> 00:18:09,055 She told your mother she was gonna win a Tony one day. 504 00:18:09,099 --> 00:18:11,492 But she was right about a lot of other things. 505 00:18:11,536 --> 00:18:14,017 She said that I'd become a lawyer. 506 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:16,541 She said that I would marry a clown one day. 507 00:18:16,584 --> 00:18:18,456 Laughed a long time about that one. 508 00:18:18,499 --> 00:18:19,370 Why? 509 00:18:19,413 --> 00:18:21,546 Anyway, I-I guess my "bear" 510 00:18:21,589 --> 00:18:22,939 is the fear of dying young. 511 00:18:22,982 --> 00:18:25,463 Uh, I mean, if that fortune teller's right, 512 00:18:25,506 --> 00:18:27,682 I only have three more years to live. 513 00:18:27,726 --> 00:18:29,380 Well, y-you know what? The way I see it, 514 00:18:29,423 --> 00:18:31,469 this little curse is actually a gift... 515 00:18:31,512 --> 00:18:34,385 a reason to live life to the fullest. 516 00:18:34,428 --> 00:18:36,126 And have no regrets. 517 00:18:36,169 --> 00:18:39,694 Okay, so we're all just accepting this 46-year thing as true? 518 00:18:39,738 --> 00:18:41,305 We've made our peace with it. 519 00:18:41,348 --> 00:18:42,480 And so should you. 520 00:18:42,523 --> 00:18:45,309 Why not just live your limited days 521 00:18:45,352 --> 00:18:47,311 with leaving nothing unsaid? 522 00:18:47,354 --> 00:18:49,922 Tell the people who matter the most how you feel. 523 00:18:49,966 --> 00:18:52,594 I tell you and Lily I love you every single day. 524 00:18:52,686 --> 00:18:54,796 True. What about Phil? 525 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,712 He did text me with a "Love ya" this morning. 526 00:18:57,756 --> 00:18:58,713 Close enough. 527 00:18:58,757 --> 00:19:00,193 And your dad? 528 00:19:04,545 --> 00:19:05,633 Seriously?! 529 00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:07,548 I just have a hard time saying that word to him. 530 00:19:07,592 --> 00:19:09,202 Which is fine for the both of us. 531 00:19:09,246 --> 00:19:10,377 Okay, well, it sounds like 532 00:19:10,421 --> 00:19:12,321 you might be uncomfortable with that word, too. 533 00:19:12,389 --> 00:19:14,729 No! I don't have a problem with it. I use it all the time. 534 00:19:14,773 --> 00:19:16,079 I'm always saying I love things. I... 535 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:19,169 I love the feel of toasty socks out of the microwave. 536 00:19:19,212 --> 00:19:22,085 I love the far-off sound of a train whistle. 537 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:25,001 You know, "Ooh! What adventure have they gotten off to?" 538 00:19:25,044 --> 00:19:27,138 I l... I love watching a baby stretch. 539 00:19:27,181 --> 00:19:30,489 Those are all good things in your life, Jay, but... 540 00:19:30,532 --> 00:19:31,882 what's your "bear"? 541 00:19:31,925 --> 00:19:32,665 I don't have one. 542 00:19:32,709 --> 00:19:34,275 Oh, come on! We all told you ours. 543 00:19:34,319 --> 00:19:36,364 Now, when you get to my age, 544 00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:39,280 there are less things that you're afraid of. 545 00:19:39,324 --> 00:19:41,108 Except maybe... 546 00:19:41,152 --> 00:19:42,762 being a burden to your family. 547 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:44,721 Which is starting already, 548 00:19:44,764 --> 00:19:47,593 because Gloria forced you guys to babysit me, 549 00:19:47,637 --> 00:19:50,683 which is why I wanted to spend the night here 550 00:19:50,727 --> 00:19:54,861 so I could prove I'm not some... frail old man. 551 00:19:55,732 --> 00:19:57,037 But, if I'm being honest, 552 00:19:57,081 --> 00:20:00,737 that hike gets tougher for me every year. 553 00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:04,175 And I was relieved that I didn't have to do it alone. 554 00:20:04,218 --> 00:20:05,480 Oh, Dad. 555 00:20:05,524 --> 00:20:07,047 You could never be a burden. 556 00:20:07,091 --> 00:20:09,615 Yeah, you're the one who's always taking care of all of us. 557 00:20:09,659 --> 00:20:12,531 We'd love the chance to return the favor. 558 00:20:14,011 --> 00:20:15,708 All right. It's getting late. 559 00:20:15,752 --> 00:20:17,841 This mountain pimp outfit's making me sweat. 560 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,059 Let's... Let's get some rest. 561 00:20:20,259 --> 00:20:21,714 - Good night. - Good night. 562 00:20:21,758 --> 00:20:23,498 I'll take the sofa. 563 00:20:23,542 --> 00:20:24,761 Sure you're gonna be okay out here? 564 00:20:24,804 --> 00:20:26,371 - Yeah, I'll be fine. - Okay. 565 00:20:28,329 --> 00:20:30,505 Do... Do you want me to grab you an extra blanket or something? 566 00:20:30,549 --> 00:20:32,159 No, no. I'll get something if I need it. 567 00:20:33,204 --> 00:20:35,815 Okay. Well... 568 00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:37,121 Good night. [Chuckles] 569 00:20:42,343 --> 00:20:43,693 I know. 570 00:20:50,264 --> 00:20:52,136 [Eagle calling] 571 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,054 [Branches shift, wings flapping] 572 00:21:01,604 --> 00:21:04,451 - [Door opens] - All right, Dad. We're ready to go. 573 00:21:04,486 --> 00:21:05,328 Yeah, Jay. 574 00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:07,940 I'm sorry you didn't see a bald eagle this time around. 575 00:21:07,983 --> 00:21:09,593 Y-Yeah. It's too bad. 576 00:21:09,637 --> 00:21:12,031 I guess we'll all have to come back here again next year. 577 00:21:12,074 --> 00:21:13,293 Together: Yeah. 578 00:21:13,336 --> 00:21:15,077 I don't know about you guys, but I slept great. 579 00:21:15,121 --> 00:21:18,080 That cot was so soft. I'm not always a sound sleeper. 580 00:21:18,124 --> 00:21:21,040 Been meaning to try that melatonin. I hear it's a real game-changer. 581 00:21:21,083 --> 00:21:22,824 And you can get it anywhere nowadays. 582 00:21:22,868 --> 00:21:24,173 Has it always been over-the-counter? 583 00:21:24,217 --> 00:21:26,045 Kind of a funny phrase, isn't it... "over-the-counter"? 584 00:21:29,372 --> 00:21:31,394 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 42699

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