Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:53,059 --> 00:00:57,337
Once upon a time
in a kingdom far, far away,
2
00:00:57,605 --> 00:01:01,803
the king and queen were blessed
with a beautiful baby girl.
3
00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:05,616
And throughout the land,
everyone was happy...
4
00:01:05,864 --> 00:01:07,775
until the sun went down
5
00:01:07,949 --> 00:01:11,828
and they saw that their daughter was
cursed with a frightful enchantment
6
00:01:12,078 --> 00:01:14,990
that took hold each and every night.
7
00:01:16,749 --> 00:01:20,105
Desperate, they sought the help
of a fairy godmother
8
00:01:20,335 --> 00:01:23,168
who had them lock the young princess
away in a tower,
9
00:01:23,380 --> 00:01:27,009
there to await the kiss...
of the handsome Prince Charming.
10
00:01:27,259 --> 00:01:29,170
[Horse whinnies]
11
00:01:30,554 --> 00:01:33,227
It was he who would chance
the perilous journey
12
00:01:33,432 --> 00:01:35,992
through blistering cold
and scorching desert
13
00:01:36,184 --> 00:01:38,379
travelling for many days and nights,
14
00:01:38,561 --> 00:01:40,631
risking life and limb
15
00:01:41,439 --> 00:01:44,192
to reach the Dragon's keep.
16
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,470
[Crows caw]
17
00:01:48,655 --> 00:01:51,169
For he was the bravest,
18
00:01:51,366 --> 00:01:53,880
and most handsome...
19
00:01:56,746 --> 00:01:58,623
in all the land.
20
00:01:58,789 --> 00:02:01,349
And it was destiny that his kiss
21
00:02:02,543 --> 00:02:05,694
would break the dreaded curse.
22
00:02:05,921 --> 00:02:11,473
He alone would climb to the highest room
of the tallest tower
23
00:02:11,802 --> 00:02:16,080
to enter the princess's chambers,
cross the room to her sleeping silhouette,
24
00:02:16,348 --> 00:02:19,340
pull back the gossamer curtains
to find her... [gasps]
25
00:02:20,519 --> 00:02:21,554
What?
26
00:02:21,687 --> 00:02:25,123
- Princess... Fiona?
- No!
27
00:02:25,357 --> 00:02:28,315
[Sighs relief] Oh, thank heavens.
Where is she?
28
00:02:28,527 --> 00:02:32,566
- She's on her honeymoon.
- Honeymoon? With whom?
29
00:02:32,823 --> 00:02:35,053
[Counting Crows: Accidentally In Love]
30
00:02:46,294 --> 00:02:49,650
So she said
what's the problem, baby?
31
00:02:49,881 --> 00:02:51,553
What's the problem?
I don't know
32
00:02:51,716 --> 00:02:53,672
Well, maybe I'm in love
33
00:02:53,843 --> 00:02:56,152
Think about it
every time I think 'bout it
34
00:02:56,346 --> 00:02:58,576
Can't stop thinking 'bout it
35
00:02:58,765 --> 00:03:01,757
How much longer
will it take to cure this?
36
00:03:01,976 --> 00:03:04,490
Just to cure it,
cause I can't ignore it
37
00:03:04,687 --> 00:03:05,961
If it's love, love
38
00:03:06,105 --> 00:03:08,300
Makes me wanna turn around
and face me
39
00:03:08,482 --> 00:03:10,950
But I don't know nothing
'bout love
40
00:03:11,152 --> 00:03:12,870
Oh, come on, come on
41
00:03:13,029 --> 00:03:15,145
- [screams]
- Turn a little faster
42
00:03:15,323 --> 00:03:16,756
Come on, come on
43
00:03:16,907 --> 00:03:18,898
The world will follow after
44
00:03:19,076 --> 00:03:20,475
Come on, come on
45
00:03:20,619 --> 00:03:25,135
Everybody's after love
46
00:03:29,794 --> 00:03:33,184
So I said
I'm a snowball running
47
00:03:33,424 --> 00:03:37,053
Running down into this spring
that's coming all this love
48
00:03:37,302 --> 00:03:40,578
Melting under blue skies
belting out sunlight
49
00:03:40,805 --> 00:03:42,761
Shimmering love
50
00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:44,570
Well, baby, I surrender
51
00:03:44,726 --> 00:03:46,682
To the strawberry ice cream
52
00:03:46,853 --> 00:03:49,686
Never ever end of all this love
53
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,728
Well, I didn't mean to do it
54
00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:55,097
But there's no escaping your love
55
00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:59,938
These lines of lightning
mean we're never alone
56
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:02,508
Never alone, no, no
57
00:04:02,702 --> 00:04:03,930
Come on, come on
58
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:05,955
Jump a little higher
59
00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:07,077
Come on, come on
60
00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:09,322
If you feel a little lighter
61
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,649
Come on, come on
62
00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:13,910
We were once upon a time in love
63
00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:16,086
Hyah!
64
00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:21,020
We're accidentally in love
65
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:24,883
Accidentally in love
66
00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:28,708
Accidentally in love
67
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:32,325
Accidentally in love
68
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:35,681
Accidentally in love
69
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:36,821
Accidentally in love
70
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,328
Accidentally in love
71
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,962
Accidentally
72
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,265
I'm in love, I'm in love,
I'm in love, I'm in love
73
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,244
I'm in love, I'm in love
74
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:49,847
Accidentally in love
75
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:53,676
I'm in love
76
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,636
I'm in love
77
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,831
It's so good to be home!
78
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,804
- [Distant singing]
- [Giggling]
79
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,605
Just you and me and...
80
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,274
[Donkey sings]
81
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:11,034
- Two can be as bad as one...
- Donkey?
82
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:15,019
Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two
a sight for sore eyes!
83
00:05:15,272 --> 00:05:17,502
Give us a hug, Shrek,
you old love machine.
84
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:18,681
[Chuckles]
85
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,810
And look at you, Mrs. Shrek.
How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?
86
00:05:22,029 --> 00:05:24,145
Donkey, what are you doing here?
87
00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:26,200
Taking care of your love nest for you.
88
00:05:26,366 --> 00:05:30,518
Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail
and watering the plants?
89
00:05:30,787 --> 00:05:33,665
- Yeah, and feeding the fish!
- I don't have any fish.
90
00:05:33,873 --> 00:05:36,785
You do now. I call that one Shrek
and the other Fiona.
91
00:05:37,002 --> 00:05:39,835
That Shrek is a rascally devil.
Get your...
92
00:05:40,047 --> 00:05:42,686
Look at the time.
I guess you'd better be going.
93
00:05:42,883 --> 00:05:46,558
Don't you want to tell me about your trip?
Or how about a game of Parcheesi?
94
00:05:46,803 --> 00:05:50,842
Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be
getting home to Dragon?
95
00:05:51,099 --> 00:05:53,135
Oh, yeah, that.
96
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:56,745
I don't know.
She's been all moody and stuff lately.
97
00:05:56,979 --> 00:05:58,571
I thought I'd move in with you.
98
00:05:58,732 --> 00:06:01,371
You know we're always happy
to see you, Donkey.
99
00:06:01,568 --> 00:06:04,207
But Fiona and I are married now.
100
00:06:04,404 --> 00:06:07,601
We need a little time, you know,
to be together.
101
00:06:09,825 --> 00:06:11,861
Just with each other.
102
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:14,314
Alone.
103
00:06:14,455 --> 00:06:17,208
Say no more.
You don't have to worry about a thing.
104
00:06:17,416 --> 00:06:20,010
I will always be here to make sure
nobody bothers you.
105
00:06:20,211 --> 00:06:21,849
- Donkey!
- Yes, roomie?
106
00:06:22,004 --> 00:06:23,357
You're bothering me.
107
00:06:24,423 --> 00:06:27,779
Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess...
108
00:06:28,010 --> 00:06:31,127
Me and Pinocchio was going to catch
a tournament, anyway, so...
109
00:06:31,346 --> 00:06:35,976
Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday
for a barbecue or something.
110
00:06:38,186 --> 00:06:42,179
He'll be fine.
Now, where were we?
111
00:06:42,441 --> 00:06:44,238
[Giggles] Oh.
112
00:06:44,401 --> 00:06:46,312
I think I remember.
113
00:06:48,655 --> 00:06:50,054
- Donkey!
- [Fiona yelps]
114
00:06:50,198 --> 00:06:53,156
I know, I know! Alone!
I'm going! I'm going.
115
00:06:53,368 --> 00:06:56,280
What do you want me
to tell these other guys?
116
00:06:56,495 --> 00:06:59,134
[Fanfare]
117
00:07:02,335 --> 00:07:04,803
[theme to Hawaii Five-O]
118
00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:08,511
Enough, Reggie.
119
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:14,116
[Clears throat] "Dearest Princess Fiona.
120
00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:18,339
"You are hereby summoned
to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away
121
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:23,071
"for a royal ball
in celebration of your marriage
122
00:07:23,356 --> 00:07:25,392
"at which time the King
123
00:07:25,566 --> 00:07:30,401
"will bestow his royal blessing...
upon you and your..."
124
00:07:30,696 --> 00:07:32,732
uh..."Prince Charming.
125
00:07:32,906 --> 00:07:37,343
"Love, the King and Queen
of Far, Far Away.
126
00:07:37,619 --> 00:07:39,974
"Aka Mom and Dad."
127
00:07:40,163 --> 00:07:41,437
Mom and Dad?
128
00:07:41,581 --> 00:07:44,778
- Prince Charming?
- Royal ball? Can I come?
129
00:07:45,002 --> 00:07:46,720
- We're not going.
- [Both] What?
130
00:07:46,878 --> 00:07:49,711
I mean, don't you think
they might be a bit...
131
00:07:49,923 --> 00:07:52,835
shocked to see you like this?
132
00:07:53,051 --> 00:07:55,360
[Chuckles] Well, they might be
a bit surprised.
133
00:07:55,553 --> 00:07:58,590
But they're my parents, Shrek.
They love me.
134
00:07:58,806 --> 00:08:01,036
And don't worry.
They'll love you, too.
135
00:08:01,225 --> 00:08:02,180
Yeah, right.
136
00:08:02,309 --> 00:08:04,903
Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome
at the country club.
137
00:08:05,105 --> 00:08:06,823
Stop it.
They're not like that.
138
00:08:06,981 --> 00:08:10,291
How do you explain Sergeant Pompous
and the Fancy Pants Club Band?
139
00:08:10,526 --> 00:08:13,882
Oh, come on! You could at least
give them a chance.
140
00:08:14,113 --> 00:08:16,024
To do what?
Sharpen their pitchforks?
141
00:08:16,198 --> 00:08:18,951
No! They just want
to give you their blessing.
142
00:08:19,159 --> 00:08:23,072
Oh, great.
Now I need their blessing?
143
00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:25,685
If you want to be a part
of this family, yes!
144
00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:27,831
Who says I want
to be part of this family?
145
00:08:28,002 --> 00:08:30,835
You did!
When you married me!
146
00:08:31,046 --> 00:08:33,037
Well, there's some fine print for you!
147
00:08:33,215 --> 00:08:36,093
[Exasperated sigh]
So that's it. You won't come?
148
00:08:36,301 --> 00:08:41,329
Trust me. It's a bad idea.
We are not going! And that's final!
149
00:08:43,349 --> 00:08:45,943
Come on!
We don't want to hit traffic!
150
00:08:48,689 --> 00:08:51,408
[Gingy] Don't worry!
We'll take care of everything.
151
00:08:51,608 --> 00:08:53,087
[All cheer]
152
00:08:53,234 --> 00:08:55,589
- Hey, wait for me. Oof!
- [Glass breaks]
153
00:08:55,778 --> 00:08:56,893
[Sighs]
154
00:08:57,030 --> 00:09:00,306
[Chic: Le Freak]
155
00:09:02,076 --> 00:09:06,467
Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up!
Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up!
156
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:09,102
Rawhide! Move 'em on!
Head 'em up!
157
00:09:09,292 --> 00:09:11,522
Move 'em on! Move 'em on!
Head 'em up! Rawhide!
158
00:09:11,711 --> 00:09:15,863
Ride 'em up! Move 'em on!
Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide!
159
00:09:16,132 --> 00:09:18,088
Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead!
Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks!
160
00:09:18,259 --> 00:09:19,772
Meet their mamas!
Milk 'em hard!
161
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,395
Rawhide!
Yee-haw!
162
00:09:28,018 --> 00:09:30,486
- [Donkey] Are we there yet?
- [Shrek] No.
163
00:09:33,816 --> 00:09:36,569
- [Donkey] Are we there yet?
- [Fiona] Not yet.
164
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,929
- [Donkey] OK, are we there yet?
- [Fiona] No.
165
00:09:42,866 --> 00:09:44,743
- [Donkey] Are we there yet?
- [Shrek] No!
166
00:09:44,909 --> 00:09:46,820
- [Donkey] Are we there yet?
- [Shrek] Yes.
167
00:09:46,994 --> 00:09:48,222
- Really?
- No!
168
00:09:48,371 --> 00:09:49,770
- Are we there yet?
- [Fiona] No!
169
00:09:49,915 --> 00:09:51,633
- Are we there yet?
- [Shrek] We are not!
170
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,260
- Are we there yet?
- [Shrek & Fiona] No!
171
00:09:55,754 --> 00:09:57,472
- Are we there yet?
- [Shrek mimics]
172
00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:01,509
- That's not funny. That's really immature.
- [Shrek mimics]
173
00:10:01,759 --> 00:10:03,909
- This is why nobody likes ogres.
- [Shrek mimics]
174
00:10:04,095 --> 00:10:05,369
- Your loss!
- [Shrek mimics]
175
00:10:05,513 --> 00:10:08,664
- I'm gonna just stop talking.
- Finally!
176
00:10:08,891 --> 00:10:12,327
This is taking forever, Shrek.
There's no in-flight movie or nothing!
177
00:10:12,562 --> 00:10:16,237
The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey.
178
00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:20,600
That's where we're going.
Far, far...
179
00:10:20,861 --> 00:10:22,419
[softly] away!
180
00:10:22,571 --> 00:10:26,007
All right, all right, I get it.
I'm just so darn bored.
181
00:10:26,241 --> 00:10:28,709
Well, find a way
to entertain yourself.
182
00:10:28,910 --> 00:10:30,901
[Sighs]
183
00:10:35,918 --> 00:10:37,556
[Deep sigh]
184
00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,842
[Clicks tongue]
185
00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:45,541
[Popping]
186
00:10:49,180 --> 00:10:51,136
- [Popping]
- [Exasperated sigh]
187
00:10:51,557 --> 00:10:54,071
For five minutes...
188
00:10:54,269 --> 00:10:56,146
Could you not be yourself...
189
00:10:56,313 --> 00:10:58,702
[shouts]... for five minutes!
190
00:11:03,819 --> 00:11:05,650
- [Popping]
- [Shrieks]
191
00:11:05,821 --> 00:11:07,493
Are we there yet?
192
00:11:07,656 --> 00:11:10,216
- [Chuckles] Yes!
- Oh, finally!
193
00:11:10,409 --> 00:11:12,445
[Fanfare]
194
00:11:19,627 --> 00:11:21,936
[Lipps, Inc: Funkytown]
195
00:11:22,129 --> 00:11:24,085
Wow!
196
00:11:25,382 --> 00:11:29,580
It's going to be champagne wishes
and caviar dreams from now on.
197
00:11:29,845 --> 00:11:32,598
Hey, good-looking!
We'll be back to pick you up later!
198
00:11:32,806 --> 00:11:38,085
Gotta make a move
to a town that's right for me
199
00:11:41,356 --> 00:11:43,870
We are definitely not
in the swamp anymore.
200
00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:47,139
[Whistle] Halt!
201
00:11:48,112 --> 00:11:53,186
Well, I talk about it, talk about it,
talk about it, talk about it
202
00:11:55,286 --> 00:11:57,641
Hey, everyone, look.
203
00:11:57,831 --> 00:12:01,187
Talk about, talk about movin'...
204
00:12:08,632 --> 00:12:12,511
Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh?
You working that hat.
205
00:12:20,770 --> 00:12:23,204
[Donkey] Swimming pools!
Movie stars!
206
00:12:25,065 --> 00:12:27,021
[Cheering]
207
00:12:46,795 --> 00:12:47,910
[Applause]
208
00:12:53,885 --> 00:12:56,399
[Fanfare]
209
00:12:59,140 --> 00:13:01,700
Announcing the long-awaited return
210
00:13:01,893 --> 00:13:06,284
of the beautiful Princess Fiona
and her new husband.
211
00:13:08,107 --> 00:13:09,859
Well, this is it.
212
00:13:10,026 --> 00:13:11,903
- This is it.
- This is it.
213
00:13:12,069 --> 00:13:13,297
This is it.
214
00:13:14,154 --> 00:13:15,951
[Fanfare]
215
00:13:19,994 --> 00:13:21,427
[Fanfare and cheering stop]
216
00:13:21,579 --> 00:13:22,568
[Gasps]
217
00:13:22,705 --> 00:13:23,740
[Tweeting]
218
00:13:28,627 --> 00:13:31,061
[Baby wails]
219
00:13:35,467 --> 00:13:39,346
Uh... why don't you guys go ahead?
I'll park the car.
220
00:13:42,558 --> 00:13:44,753
[Chuckles] So...
221
00:13:44,935 --> 00:13:47,813
you still think
this was a good idea?
222
00:13:48,021 --> 00:13:52,253
Of course! Look.
Mom and Dad look happy to see us.
223
00:13:52,525 --> 00:13:56,564
- [Softly] Who on earth are they?
- [Softly] I think that's our little girl.
224
00:13:56,821 --> 00:14:00,018
That's not little!
That's a really big problem.
225
00:14:00,241 --> 00:14:03,392
Wasn't she supposed to kiss
Prince Charming and break the spell?
226
00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:06,692
Well, he's no Prince Charming,
but they do look...
227
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:10,429
[softly] Happy now?
We came. We saw them.
228
00:14:10,668 --> 00:14:12,943
Now let's go before
they light the torches.
229
00:14:13,129 --> 00:14:16,280
- They're my parents.
- Hello? They locked you in a tower.
230
00:14:16,507 --> 00:14:17,940
That was for my own...
231
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:21,766
Good! Here's our chance. Let's go
back inside and pretend we're not home.
232
00:14:22,012 --> 00:14:23,206
Harold, we have to be...
233
00:14:23,347 --> 00:14:26,145
Quick! While they're not looking
we can make a run for it.
234
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:28,261
Shrek, stop it!
Everything's gonna be...
235
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,665
A disaster! There is no way...
236
00:14:30,854 --> 00:14:32,412
- You can do this.
- I really...
237
00:14:32,564 --> 00:14:34,953
- Really...
- don't... want... to... be...
238
00:14:35,150 --> 00:14:37,141
Here!
239
00:14:39,154 --> 00:14:42,146
Mom... Dad...
240
00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:45,532
I'd like you to meet my husband...
241
00:14:45,702 --> 00:14:47,420
Shrek.
242
00:14:49,831 --> 00:14:51,583
Well, um...
243
00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:54,947
It's easy to see where Fiona
gets her good looks from.
244
00:14:55,169 --> 00:14:57,729
[Chuckles nervously]
245
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:03,780
[Gulps]
246
00:15:31,747 --> 00:15:33,066
[Belches]
247
00:15:33,207 --> 00:15:35,357
- Excuse me.
- [Shrek & Fiona laugh]
248
00:15:35,542 --> 00:15:39,091
Better out than in,
I always say, eh, Fiona?
249
00:15:39,337 --> 00:15:40,816
[Both giggle]
250
00:15:41,548 --> 00:15:43,300
[Shrek] That's good.
251
00:15:44,175 --> 00:15:45,164
I guess not.
252
00:15:45,301 --> 00:15:45,701
What do you mean, "not on the list"?
Don't tell me you don't know who I am.
253
00:15:45,718 --> 00:15:49,552
What do you mean, "not on the list"?
Don't tell me you don't know who I am.
254
00:15:49,806 --> 00:15:52,366
What's happening, everybody?
Thanks for waiting.
255
00:15:52,559 --> 00:15:56,791
- I had the hardest time finding this place.
- No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down!
256
00:15:57,063 --> 00:15:59,782
No, Dad! It's all right.
It's all right. He's with us.
257
00:15:59,982 --> 00:16:03,292
- He helped rescue me from the dragon.
- That's me: The noble steed.
258
00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:05,438
Waiter!
How 'bout a bowl for the steed?
259
00:16:05,613 --> 00:16:07,126
Oh, boy.
260
00:16:08,408 --> 00:16:09,636
[Slurps]
261
00:16:09,784 --> 00:16:11,297
- Um, Shrek?
- Yeah?
262
00:16:11,452 --> 00:16:14,808
Oh, sorry!
Great soup, Mrs Q.
263
00:16:15,039 --> 00:16:16,028
Mmm!
264
00:16:16,165 --> 00:16:18,042
No, no. Darling.
265
00:16:18,876 --> 00:16:20,992
[Chuckles nervously] Oh!
266
00:16:23,046 --> 00:16:26,356
So, Fiona, tell us
about where you live.
267
00:16:26,591 --> 00:16:28,104
Well...
268
00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:30,490
Shrek owns his own land.
269
00:16:31,263 --> 00:16:33,902
- Don't you, honey?
- Oh, yes!
270
00:16:34,099 --> 00:16:36,772
It's in an enchanted forest
271
00:16:36,977 --> 00:16:41,528
abundant in squirrels
and cute little duckies and...
272
00:16:41,815 --> 00:16:43,043
[laughing] What?
273
00:16:43,191 --> 00:16:45,307
I know you ain't
talking about the swamp.
274
00:16:45,485 --> 00:16:49,444
An ogre from a swamp.
Oh! How original.
275
00:16:49,698 --> 00:16:52,496
I suppose that would be a fine place
to raise the children.
276
00:16:52,701 --> 00:16:54,657
- [Splutters]
- [Chokes]
277
00:17:03,252 --> 00:17:05,812
It's a bit early to be
thinking about that, isn't it?
278
00:17:06,005 --> 00:17:08,803
- Indeed. I just started eating.
- Harold!
279
00:17:09,008 --> 00:17:12,045
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Dad. It's great, OK?
280
00:17:12,262 --> 00:17:14,935
- For his type, yes.
- My type?
281
00:17:15,139 --> 00:17:16,413
I got to go to the bathroom.
282
00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:19,913
- Dinner is served!
- Never mind. I can hold it.
283
00:17:25,816 --> 00:17:26,885
Bon appetit!
284
00:17:27,025 --> 00:17:29,380
Oh, Mexican food!
My favourite.
285
00:17:29,569 --> 00:17:33,039
Let's not sit here with our tummies
rumbling. Everybody dig in.
286
00:17:33,282 --> 00:17:34,556
Don't mind if I do, Lillian.
287
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:38,375
I suppose any grandchildren
I could expect from you would be...
288
00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:40,850
Ogres, yes!
289
00:17:41,039 --> 00:17:43,872
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Right, Harold?
290
00:17:44,084 --> 00:17:45,756
Oh, no! No! Of course, not!
291
00:17:45,919 --> 00:17:48,991
That is, assuming you don't
eat your own young!
292
00:17:49,213 --> 00:17:49,963
Dad!
293
00:17:50,089 --> 00:17:54,526
No, we usually prefer the ones
who've been locked away in a tower!
294
00:17:54,803 --> 00:17:58,352
- Shrek, please!
- I only did that because I love her.
295
00:17:58,598 --> 00:18:00,793
Aye, day care
or dragon-guarded castle.
296
00:18:00,975 --> 00:18:04,012
You wouldn't understand.
You're not her father!
297
00:18:08,816 --> 00:18:11,535
It's so nice to have the family
together for dinner.
298
00:18:16,032 --> 00:18:17,260
- Harold!
- Shrek!
299
00:18:17,408 --> 00:18:18,363
- Fiona!
- Fiona!
300
00:18:18,492 --> 00:18:19,641
- Mom!
- Harold...
301
00:18:19,785 --> 00:18:20,774
Donkey!
302
00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:19,301
[Glissando]
303
00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:26,923
Your fallen tears have called to me
304
00:19:27,976 --> 00:19:31,764
So, here comes my sweet remedy
305
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:37,171
I know what every princess needs
306
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:42,073
For her to live life happily...
307
00:19:42,950 --> 00:19:44,178
[both gasp]
308
00:19:44,326 --> 00:19:48,239
Oh, my dear.
Oh, look at you.
309
00:19:49,414 --> 00:19:51,245
You're all grown up.
310
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,870
- Who are you?
- Oh, sweet pea!
311
00:19:55,086 --> 00:19:56,997
I'm your fairy godmother.
312
00:19:57,171 --> 00:19:59,685
- I have a fairy godmother?
- Shush, shush.
313
00:19:59,883 --> 00:20:04,035
Now, don't worry.
I'm here to make it all better.
314
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:07,262
With just a...
315
00:20:08,057 --> 00:20:11,527
Wave of my magic wand
Your troubles will soon be gone
316
00:20:11,769 --> 00:20:16,445
With a flick of the wrist and just a flash
You'll land a prince with a ton of cash
317
00:20:16,732 --> 00:20:18,563
A high-priced dress
made by mice no less
318
00:20:18,734 --> 00:20:20,725
Some crystal glass pumps
And no more stress
319
00:20:20,903 --> 00:20:22,814
Your worries will vanish,
your soul will cleanse
320
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:24,661
Confide in your very own
furniture friends
321
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,816
We'll help you set a new fashion trend
322
00:20:28,035 --> 00:20:31,869
- I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great
- The kind of girl a prince would date!
323
00:20:32,122 --> 00:20:34,317
They'll write your name
on the bathroom wall...
324
00:20:34,499 --> 00:20:36,455
"For a happy ever after,
give Fiona a call!"
325
00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:40,460
A sporty carriage to ride in style,
Sexy man boy chauffeur, Kyle
326
00:20:40,713 --> 00:20:44,149
Banish your blemishes, tooth decay,
Cellulite thighs will fade away
327
00:20:44,384 --> 00:20:46,944
And oh, what the hey!
Have a bichon frisé!
328
00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:50,812
Nip and tuck, here and there
to land that prince with the perfect hair
329
00:20:51,057 --> 00:20:54,333
Lipstick liners, shadows blush
To get that prince with the sexy tush
330
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,438
Lucky day, hunk buffet
You and your prince take a roll in the hay
331
00:20:57,647 --> 00:21:00,764
You can spoon on the moon
With the prince to the tune
332
00:21:00,983 --> 00:21:03,497
Don't be drab, you'll be fab
Your prince will have rock-hard abs
333
00:21:03,695 --> 00:21:06,209
Cheese soufflé, Valentine's Day
Have some chicken fricassee!
334
00:21:06,406 --> 00:21:08,840
Nip and tuck, here and there
To land that prince with the perfect hair
335
00:21:09,033 --> 00:21:11,024
Stop!
336
00:21:11,202 --> 00:21:12,874
[Chuckles] Look...
337
00:21:13,037 --> 00:21:15,631
Thank you very much,
Fairy Godmother,
338
00:21:15,831 --> 00:21:18,584
but I really don't need all this.
339
00:21:18,792 --> 00:21:20,908
[Gasps and mutterings of disapproval]
340
00:21:21,086 --> 00:21:23,520
- Fine. Be that way.
- We didn't like you, anyway.
341
00:21:23,714 --> 00:21:26,672
- [Knocking]
- [Shrek] Fiona? Fiona?
342
00:21:26,884 --> 00:21:28,920
[Dog barks]
343
00:21:30,846 --> 00:21:33,804
Oh! You got a puppy?
All I got in my room was shampoo.
344
00:21:34,016 --> 00:21:35,608
Oh, uh...
345
00:21:35,767 --> 00:21:37,678
Fairy Godmother, furniture...
346
00:21:37,853 --> 00:21:38,808
[giggles]
347
00:21:38,937 --> 00:21:41,167
I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.
348
00:21:41,397 --> 00:21:44,833
Your husband? What? What did you say?
When did this happen?
349
00:21:45,069 --> 00:21:46,661
Shrek is the one who rescued me.
350
00:21:46,820 --> 00:21:50,574
- But that can't be right.
- Oh, great, more relatives!
351
00:21:50,824 --> 00:21:52,542
She's just trying to help.
352
00:21:52,701 --> 00:21:55,773
Good! She can help us pack.
Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.
353
00:21:55,995 --> 00:21:57,428
- What?
- I don't want to leave.
354
00:21:57,580 --> 00:21:59,093
When did you decide this?
355
00:21:59,248 --> 00:22:01,762
- Shortly after arriving.
- Look, I'm sorry...
356
00:22:01,959 --> 00:22:05,190
No, that's all right.
I need to go, anyway.
357
00:22:05,422 --> 00:22:08,619
But remember, dear.
If you should ever need me...
358
00:22:08,883 --> 00:22:09,918
happiness...
359
00:22:10,051 --> 00:22:11,689
is just a teardrop away.
360
00:22:11,844 --> 00:22:14,278
Thanks, but we've got all
the happiness we need.
361
00:22:14,472 --> 00:22:16,269
Happy, happy, happy...
362
00:22:16,432 --> 00:22:18,502
[laughs] So I see.
363
00:22:18,684 --> 00:22:20,481
Let's go, Kyle.
364
00:22:23,272 --> 00:22:24,705
- Very nice, Shrek.
- What?
365
00:22:24,856 --> 00:22:27,495
I told you coming here was a bad idea.
366
00:22:27,693 --> 00:22:30,253
You could've at least tried
to get along with my father.
367
00:22:30,446 --> 00:22:32,914
I don't think I was going to get
Daddy's blessing,
368
00:22:33,115 --> 00:22:34,787
even if I did want it.
369
00:22:34,950 --> 00:22:38,829
Do you think it might be nice
if somebody asked me what I wanted?
370
00:22:39,079 --> 00:22:41,354
Sure. Do you want me
to pack for you?
371
00:22:41,539 --> 00:22:46,215
You're unbelievable!
You're behaving like a...
372
00:22:46,502 --> 00:22:49,380
- Go on! Say it!
- Like an ogre!
373
00:22:49,590 --> 00:22:50,943
Here's a news flash for you!
374
00:22:51,091 --> 00:22:54,800
Whether your parents like it or not...
I am an ogre!
375
00:22:55,053 --> 00:22:57,726
- [Yelps]
- [Roars]
376
00:23:00,767 --> 00:23:04,521
And guess what, Princess?
That's not about to change.
377
00:23:10,485 --> 00:23:14,398
I've made changes for you, Shrek.
Think about that.
378
00:23:16,490 --> 00:23:20,278
That's real smooth, Shrek.
"I'm an ogre!"
379
00:23:20,536 --> 00:23:22,686
[Mimics Shrek roaring]
380
00:23:26,249 --> 00:23:27,762
[Sniffling]
381
00:23:46,352 --> 00:23:47,751
I knew this would happen.
382
00:23:47,895 --> 00:23:49,726
[Lillian] You should.
You started it.
383
00:23:49,897 --> 00:23:53,731
I can hardly believe that, Lillian.
He's the ogre. Not me.
384
00:23:54,027 --> 00:23:57,258
I think, Harold, you're taking this
a little too personally.
385
00:23:57,489 --> 00:23:59,764
This is Fiona's choice.
386
00:23:59,949 --> 00:24:02,907
But she was supposed to choose
the prince we picked for her.
387
00:24:03,202 --> 00:24:07,161
I mean, you expect me to give
my blessings to this... thing?
388
00:24:07,414 --> 00:24:11,168
Fiona does.
And she'll never forgive you if you don't.
389
00:24:11,461 --> 00:24:15,852
I don't want to lose
our daughter again, Harold.
390
00:24:16,132 --> 00:24:18,646
Oh, you act as if love
is totally predictable.
391
00:24:18,843 --> 00:24:21,516
Don't you remember
when we were young?
392
00:24:21,762 --> 00:24:24,560
We used to walk
down by the lily pond and...
393
00:24:24,765 --> 00:24:27,837
- they were in bloom...
- Our first kiss.
394
00:24:28,060 --> 00:24:29,413
It's not the same!
395
00:24:29,561 --> 00:24:33,395
I don't think you realize that
our daughter has married a monster!
396
00:24:33,649 --> 00:24:35,844
Oh, stop being such a drama king.
397
00:24:36,026 --> 00:24:37,857
Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong!
398
00:24:38,028 --> 00:24:40,906
La, di, da, di, da!
Isn't it all wonderful!
399
00:24:41,114 --> 00:24:43,070
I'd like to know
how it could get any worse!
400
00:24:43,241 --> 00:24:44,435
- Hello, Harold.
- [Gasps]
401
00:24:44,576 --> 00:24:46,532
- What happened?
- Nothing, dear!
402
00:24:46,703 --> 00:24:49,536
Just the old hunting wound
playing up a bit!
403
00:24:49,747 --> 00:24:50,702
[Chuckles]
404
00:24:50,832 --> 00:24:53,346
I'll just stretch it
out here for a while.
405
00:24:53,543 --> 00:24:56,535
You better get in.
We need to talk.
406
00:24:56,755 --> 00:24:58,791
Actually, Fairy Godmother,
off to bed.
407
00:24:58,965 --> 00:25:02,435
[Yawns] Already taken my pills,
and they tend to make me a bit drowsy.
408
00:25:02,677 --> 00:25:06,386
So, how about... we make this
a quick visit. What?
409
00:25:07,807 --> 00:25:10,401
Oh, hello.
Ha-ha-ha!
410
00:25:12,144 --> 00:25:13,702
So, what's new?
411
00:25:13,854 --> 00:25:17,403
You remember my son,
Prince Charming?
412
00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:20,960
Is that you? My gosh!
It's been years.
413
00:25:21,195 --> 00:25:23,265
When did you get back?
414
00:25:23,447 --> 00:25:26,280
Oh, about five minutes ago, actually.
415
00:25:26,492 --> 00:25:29,882
After I endured blistering winds,
scorching desert...
416
00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:32,998
I climbed to the highest room
in the tallest tower...
417
00:25:33,206 --> 00:25:35,481
Mommy can handle this.
418
00:25:35,668 --> 00:25:39,627
He endures blistering winds
and scorching desert!
419
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:43,668
He climbs to the highest bloody room
of the tallest bloody tower...
420
00:25:43,925 --> 00:25:44,960
And what does he find?
421
00:25:45,093 --> 00:25:48,688
Some gender-confused wolf
telling him that his princess
422
00:25:48,930 --> 00:25:50,727
is already married.
423
00:25:50,890 --> 00:25:53,245
It wasn't my fault.
He didn't get there in time.
424
00:25:53,434 --> 00:25:55,026
Stop the car!
425
00:25:55,186 --> 00:25:56,505
[Crash]
426
00:25:56,647 --> 00:25:58,239
Harold.
427
00:25:59,566 --> 00:26:03,844
You force me to do something
I really don't want to do.
428
00:26:04,112 --> 00:26:05,989
[Gasps] Where are we?
429
00:26:06,155 --> 00:26:09,033
Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy!
May I take your order?
430
00:26:09,241 --> 00:26:13,154
My diet is ruined!
I hope you're happy. Er... okay.
431
00:26:13,412 --> 00:26:16,085
Two Renaissance Wraps,
no mayo... chili rings...
432
00:26:16,290 --> 00:26:19,680
- I'll have the Medieval Meal.
- One Medieval Meal and, Harold...
433
00:26:19,919 --> 00:26:21,830
- Curly fries?
- No, thank you.
434
00:26:22,004 --> 00:26:24,598
- Sourdough soft taco, then?
- No, really, I'm fine.
435
00:26:24,799 --> 00:26:28,508
Your order, Fairy Godmother.
This comes with the Medieval Meal.
436
00:26:28,761 --> 00:26:29,830
There you are, dear.
437
00:26:33,390 --> 00:26:36,985
We made a deal, Harold, and I assume
you don't want me to go back on my part.
438
00:26:37,227 --> 00:26:39,343
[Sighs deeply] Indeed not.
439
00:26:39,521 --> 00:26:42,957
So, Fiona and Charming will be together.
440
00:26:43,192 --> 00:26:46,582
- Yes.
- Believe me, Harold. It's what's best.
441
00:26:46,820 --> 00:26:49,254
Not only for your daughter...
442
00:26:50,615 --> 00:26:52,571
but for your Kingdom.
443
00:26:57,246 --> 00:26:59,282
What am I supposed to do about it?
444
00:27:00,917 --> 00:27:02,828
Use your imagination.
445
00:27:03,712 --> 00:27:05,225
[Whooshing]
446
00:27:25,316 --> 00:27:26,988
[Whinnies]
447
00:27:37,202 --> 00:27:38,521
Oh...
448
00:27:41,206 --> 00:27:43,276
Come on in, Your Majesty.
449
00:27:43,459 --> 00:27:45,419
[Piano plays, people talk]
450
00:27:45,502 --> 00:27:45,775
[Piano plays, people talk]
451
00:27:49,631 --> 00:27:52,384
I like my town
452
00:27:54,052 --> 00:27:57,806
With a little drop of poison
453
00:27:58,931 --> 00:28:01,399
Nobody knows...
454
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:02,715
[belches]
455
00:28:02,853 --> 00:28:04,764
[Clears throat] Excuse me.
456
00:28:04,938 --> 00:28:07,088
Do I know you?
457
00:28:07,273 --> 00:28:09,946
No, you must be mistaking me
for someone else.
458
00:28:10,151 --> 00:28:13,746
Uh... excuse me.
I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister.
459
00:28:15,781 --> 00:28:18,215
Ah! There you are. Right.
460
00:28:18,409 --> 00:28:23,529
You see, I need to have
someone taken care of.
461
00:28:23,831 --> 00:28:27,949
- Who's the guy?
- Well, he's not a guy, per se.
462
00:28:28,210 --> 00:28:30,007
Um... He's an ogre.
463
00:28:30,170 --> 00:28:32,764
[Crowd gasp]
464
00:28:32,965 --> 00:28:34,557
Hey, buddy, let me clue you in.
465
00:28:34,716 --> 00:28:38,834
There's only one fellow who can handle
a job like that, and, frankly...
466
00:28:39,095 --> 00:28:40,575
he don't like to be disturbed.
467
00:28:40,638 --> 00:28:41,229
He don't like to be disturbed.
468
00:28:41,347 --> 00:28:42,905
Where could I find him?
469
00:28:43,057 --> 00:28:44,695
[Knock on door]
470
00:28:46,437 --> 00:28:48,393
Hello?
471
00:28:49,147 --> 00:28:51,422
Who dares enter my room?
472
00:28:51,608 --> 00:28:55,078
Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting,
but I'm told you're the one to talk to
473
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:56,958
about an ogre problem?
474
00:28:57,113 --> 00:28:59,308
You are told correct.
475
00:28:59,490 --> 00:29:03,085
But for this, I charge
a great deal of money.
476
00:29:03,327 --> 00:29:05,363
Would... this be enough?
477
00:29:12,295 --> 00:29:17,244
You have engaged my valuable
services, Your Majesty.
478
00:29:17,550 --> 00:29:20,747
Just tell me where
I can find this ogre.
479
00:29:23,931 --> 00:29:26,570
[Eels: I Need Some Sleep]
480
00:29:26,767 --> 00:29:28,166
[Snoring]
481
00:29:36,693 --> 00:29:38,172
[Chimes]
482
00:29:38,862 --> 00:29:45,210
Everyone says
I'm getting down too low
483
00:29:46,286 --> 00:29:52,156
Everyone says
you've just gotta let it go
484
00:29:53,418 --> 00:29:56,091
You just gotta let it go
485
00:30:05,471 --> 00:30:07,939
I need some sleep
486
00:30:08,140 --> 00:30:11,371
Time to put the old horse down
487
00:30:12,854 --> 00:30:15,243
I'm in too deep
488
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,637
And the wheels keep spinning round
489
00:30:19,902 --> 00:30:24,262
Everyone says
you've just gotta let it go
490
00:30:24,448 --> 00:30:26,086
Everyone says
you've just gotta let it go
491
00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:33,582
Dear Knight, I pray that you take
this favour as a token of my gratitude.
492
00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:43,993
[Plays tune]
493
00:30:56,021 --> 00:30:57,295
Dear Diary...
494
00:30:57,439 --> 00:31:00,033
Sleeping Beauty is having
a slumber party tomorrow,
495
00:31:00,233 --> 00:31:03,908
but Dad says I can't go.
He never lets me out after sunset.
496
00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:07,585
Dad says I'm going away for a while.
497
00:31:07,782 --> 00:31:10,012
Must be like some finishing school.
498
00:31:11,076 --> 00:31:12,873
Mom says that when I'm old enough,
499
00:31:13,037 --> 00:31:15,676
my Prince Charming will rescue me
from my tower
500
00:31:15,873 --> 00:31:18,307
and bring me back to my family,
501
00:31:18,501 --> 00:31:21,618
and we'll all live
happily ever after.
502
00:31:23,464 --> 00:31:25,500
Mrs. Fiona Charming.
503
00:31:27,009 --> 00:31:28,840
Mrs. Fiona Charming.
504
00:31:29,011 --> 00:31:30,364
Mrs. Fiona Charming.
505
00:31:30,512 --> 00:31:32,707
[Echoing] Mrs. Fiona Charming.
506
00:31:36,810 --> 00:31:38,402
[Knock on door]
507
00:31:42,482 --> 00:31:45,235
Sorry. I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
508
00:31:45,443 --> 00:31:50,756
No, no. I was just reading a, uh...
a scary book.
509
00:31:51,074 --> 00:31:55,943
I was hoping you'd let me apologize
for my despicable behaviour earlier.
510
00:31:56,246 --> 00:31:58,601
- Okay...
- I don't know what came over me.
511
00:31:58,790 --> 00:32:02,066
Do you suppose we could pretend
it never happened and start over...
512
00:32:02,293 --> 00:32:05,251
- Look, Your Majesty, I just...
- Please. Call me Dad.
513
00:32:05,463 --> 00:32:09,422
Dad. We both acted like ogres.
514
00:32:09,675 --> 00:32:13,031
Maybe we just need some time
to get to know each other.
515
00:32:13,262 --> 00:32:17,494
Excellent idea! I was actually hoping
you might join me for a morning hunt.
516
00:32:17,767 --> 00:32:19,723
A little father-son time?
517
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,080
I know it would mean
the world to Fiona.
518
00:32:31,279 --> 00:32:32,507
[Sighs]
519
00:32:32,656 --> 00:32:36,854
Shall we say,
7:30 by the old oak?
520
00:32:38,704 --> 00:32:40,615
[Birds twitter]
521
00:32:42,541 --> 00:32:44,497
[Shrek] Face it, Donkey!
We're lost.
522
00:32:44,751 --> 00:32:48,266
We can't be lost. We followed
the King's instructions exactly.
523
00:32:48,505 --> 00:32:50,780
"Head to the
darkest part of the woods..."
524
00:32:50,965 --> 00:32:53,877
"Past the sinister trees
with scary-looking branches."
525
00:32:54,093 --> 00:32:58,245
- The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey!
- We passed that three times already!
526
00:32:58,515 --> 00:33:01,234
You were the one who said
not to stop for directions.
527
00:33:01,434 --> 00:33:05,666
Oh, great. My one chance
to fix things up with Fiona's dad
528
00:33:05,939 --> 00:33:07,850
and I end up lost
in the woods with you!
529
00:33:08,024 --> 00:33:10,174
Don't get huffy!
I'm only trying to help.
530
00:33:10,359 --> 00:33:12,236
I know! I know.
531
00:33:14,738 --> 00:33:17,889
- I'm sorry, all right?
- Hey, don't worry about it.
532
00:33:18,117 --> 00:33:21,154
I just really need to make
things work with this guy.
533
00:33:21,370 --> 00:33:24,089
Yeah, sure. Now let's go
bond with Daddy.
534
00:33:24,707 --> 00:33:25,347
[Purring]
535
00:33:25,374 --> 00:33:26,363
[Purring]
536
00:33:32,214 --> 00:33:33,533
Well, well, well, Donkey.
537
00:33:33,673 --> 00:33:37,109
I know it was kind of a tender
moment back there, but the purring?
538
00:33:37,344 --> 00:33:38,936
What? I ain't purring.
539
00:33:39,096 --> 00:33:41,291
Sure. What's next? A hug?
540
00:33:41,473 --> 00:33:45,466
Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr.
What do you think I am, some kind of a...
541
00:33:45,727 --> 00:33:48,161
Ha-ha!
Fear me, if you dare!
542
00:33:48,355 --> 00:33:49,549
[Hisses]
543
00:33:49,689 --> 00:33:50,758
Look! A little cat.
544
00:33:50,899 --> 00:33:53,936
- Look out, Shrek! He got a piece!
- It's a cat, Donkey.
545
00:33:54,152 --> 00:33:55,983
Come here,
little kitty, kitty.
546
00:33:56,154 --> 00:34:01,069
Come on, little kitty. Come here.
Oh! Come here, little kitty.
547
00:34:02,661 --> 00:34:04,140
- [Screaming]
- Whoa!
548
00:34:04,287 --> 00:34:08,405
- Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming!
- Come on! Get it off! Get it off!
549
00:34:08,666 --> 00:34:10,782
Oh, God. Oh...
550
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:12,552
No!
551
00:34:14,630 --> 00:34:16,905
- Look out, Shrek! Hold still!
- Get it off!
552
00:34:17,091 --> 00:34:19,047
Shrek! Hold still!
553
00:34:20,344 --> 00:34:24,053
- Did I miss?
- No. You got them.
554
00:34:27,643 --> 00:34:31,318
Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from...
555
00:34:33,190 --> 00:34:35,943
Puss... in Boots!
556
00:34:36,151 --> 00:34:37,630
I'll kill that cat!
557
00:34:37,777 --> 00:34:38,892
Ah-ha-ha!
558
00:34:39,029 --> 00:34:40,985
[Coughs]
559
00:34:44,159 --> 00:34:46,195
[Wheezes]
560
00:34:53,418 --> 00:34:54,373
[Retches]
561
00:34:54,502 --> 00:34:55,457
[Coughs]
562
00:34:56,963 --> 00:35:00,512
- [Chuckles] Hairball.
- Oh! That is nasty!
563
00:35:01,967 --> 00:35:03,605
What should we do with him?
564
00:35:03,762 --> 00:35:06,913
Take the sword and neuter him.
Give him the Bob Barker treatment.
565
00:35:07,140 --> 00:35:08,368
Oh, no! Por favor!
Please!
566
00:35:08,558 --> 00:35:11,152
I implore you!
It was nothing personal, Señor.
567
00:35:11,352 --> 00:35:12,944
I was doing it only for my family.
568
00:35:13,104 --> 00:35:16,983
My mother, she is sick.
And my father lives off the garbage!
569
00:35:17,233 --> 00:35:20,589
The King offered me much in gold
and I have a litter of brothers...
570
00:35:20,819 --> 00:35:22,218
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
571
00:35:22,362 --> 00:35:25,001
Fiona's father paid you to do this?
572
00:35:25,199 --> 00:35:27,119
The rich King? Sí.
573
00:35:27,576 --> 00:35:28,531
[Screams]
574
00:35:30,079 --> 00:35:33,958
Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.
575
00:35:34,208 --> 00:35:37,405
Don't feel bad. Almost everybody
that meets you wants to kill you.
576
00:35:37,627 --> 00:35:38,946
Gee, thanks.
577
00:35:42,090 --> 00:35:46,402
Maybe Fiona would've been better off
if I were some sort of Prince Charming.
578
00:35:46,678 --> 00:35:48,031
That's what the King said.
579
00:35:49,556 --> 00:35:52,673
Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question
was directed at me.
580
00:35:53,894 --> 00:35:56,772
Shrek, Fiona knows
you'd do anything for her.
581
00:35:56,980 --> 00:35:59,972
Well, it's not like
I wouldn't change if I could.
582
00:36:00,191 --> 00:36:04,104
I just... I just wish
I could make her happy.
583
00:36:06,489 --> 00:36:07,922
Hold the phone...
584
00:36:09,409 --> 00:36:11,559
"Happiness."
585
00:36:11,744 --> 00:36:14,497
"A tear drop away."
586
00:36:14,705 --> 00:36:18,380
Donkey! Think of the saddest thing
that's ever happened to you!
587
00:36:18,626 --> 00:36:21,140
Aw, man, where do I begin?
588
00:36:21,337 --> 00:36:25,455
First there was the time that old farmer
tried to sell me for some magic beans.
589
00:36:25,716 --> 00:36:29,311
Then this fool had a party and he have
the guests trying to pin the tail on me.
590
00:36:29,553 --> 00:36:33,466
Then they got drunk and start beating me
with a stick, going "Piñata!!"
591
00:36:33,724 --> 00:36:34,952
What is a piñata, anyway?
592
00:36:35,100 --> 00:36:37,455
No, Donkey! I need you to cry!
593
00:36:37,644 --> 00:36:38,997
Don't go projecting on me.
594
00:36:39,146 --> 00:36:41,137
I know you're feeling bad,
but you got to...
595
00:36:41,314 --> 00:36:43,350
Aaaahhh!
596
00:36:44,192 --> 00:36:46,626
You little, hairy,
litter-licking sack of...
597
00:36:53,869 --> 00:36:55,825
What? Is it on? Is it on?
598
00:36:55,996 --> 00:36:57,190
[Clears throat]
599
00:36:57,330 --> 00:36:59,002
This is Fairy Godmother.
600
00:36:59,207 --> 00:37:01,277
I'm either away
from my desk or with a client.
601
00:37:01,542 --> 00:37:05,820
But if you come by the office, we'll be
glad to make you an appointment.
602
00:37:06,130 --> 00:37:07,802
Have a "happy ever after."
603
00:37:09,843 --> 00:37:11,242
Oh...
604
00:37:12,303 --> 00:37:14,419
Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?
605
00:37:14,597 --> 00:37:17,987
That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey,
on another whirlwind adventure!
606
00:37:18,225 --> 00:37:21,535
Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo!
We're on the move!
607
00:37:21,770 --> 00:37:26,207
- Stop, Ogre! I have misjudged you.
- Join the club. We've got jackets.
608
00:37:26,483 --> 00:37:30,158
On my honour, I am obliged to accompany
you until I have saved your life
609
00:37:30,404 --> 00:37:32,235
as you have spared me mine.
610
00:37:32,406 --> 00:37:35,557
The position of annoying talking animal
has already been taken.
611
00:37:35,784 --> 00:37:38,537
Let's go, Shrek. Shrek?
612
00:37:47,587 --> 00:37:50,704
- Shrek!
- Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him...
613
00:37:50,923 --> 00:37:52,754
in his wee little boots.
614
00:37:52,926 --> 00:37:56,043
You know, how many cats can wear boots?
Honestly.
615
00:37:56,263 --> 00:37:58,936
- Let's keep him!
- Say what?
616
00:37:59,140 --> 00:38:00,778
[Purrs]
617
00:38:00,934 --> 00:38:02,003
Ahh!
618
00:38:02,143 --> 00:38:03,861
Listen. He's purring!
619
00:38:04,020 --> 00:38:06,978
- Oh, so now it's cute.
- Come on, Donkey. Lighten up.
620
00:38:07,189 --> 00:38:10,429
Lighten up? I should lighten up?
Look who's telling who to lighten up!
621
00:38:12,821 --> 00:38:15,415
[Giggles] Shrek!
622
00:38:15,615 --> 00:38:17,287
[Barks]
623
00:38:17,450 --> 00:38:18,678
[Barks]
624
00:38:20,286 --> 00:38:21,241
Shrek?
625
00:38:32,255 --> 00:38:34,610
They're both festive, aren't they?
626
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:36,597
What do you think, Harold?
627
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:38,955
Um... Yes, yes.
Fine. Fine.
628
00:38:39,138 --> 00:38:40,093
[Sighs]
629
00:38:41,098 --> 00:38:44,568
Try to at least pretend you're interested
in your daughter's wedding ball.
630
00:38:44,810 --> 00:38:47,085
Honestly, Lillian,
I don't think it matters.
631
00:38:47,270 --> 00:38:49,500
How do we know there will
even be a ball?
632
00:38:49,689 --> 00:38:51,520
Mom. Dad.
633
00:38:51,691 --> 00:38:55,161
- Oh, hello, dear.
- What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming.
634
00:38:55,946 --> 00:38:57,937
Mom, have you seen Shrek?
635
00:38:58,115 --> 00:39:00,834
I haven't.
You should ask your father.
636
00:39:01,076 --> 00:39:05,467
Be sure and use small words, dear.
He's a little slow this morning.
637
00:39:05,747 --> 00:39:08,056
- Can I help you, Your Majesty?
- Ah, yes! Um...
638
00:39:09,166 --> 00:39:11,680
Mmm! Exquisite.
What do you call this dish?
639
00:39:11,877 --> 00:39:14,869
That would be the dog's breakfast,
Your Majesty.
640
00:39:15,089 --> 00:39:18,684
Ah, yes. Very good, then.
Carry on, Cedric.
641
00:39:18,926 --> 00:39:22,839
- Dad? Dad, have you seen Shrek?
- No, I haven't, dear.
642
00:39:23,097 --> 00:39:26,806
I'm sure he just went off to look for
a nice... mud hole to cool down in.
643
00:39:27,059 --> 00:39:29,175
You know, after your
little spat last night.
644
00:39:29,353 --> 00:39:31,548
Oh. You heard that, huh?
645
00:39:31,730 --> 00:39:33,322
The whole kingdom heard you.
646
00:39:33,482 --> 00:39:36,201
I mean, after all,
it is in his nature to be...
647
00:39:36,402 --> 00:39:37,835
well, a bit of a brute.
648
00:39:37,987 --> 00:39:41,980
Him? You know, you didn't exactly
roll out the Welcome Wagon.
649
00:39:42,241 --> 00:39:45,551
Well, what did you expect?
Look at what he's done to you.
650
00:39:46,411 --> 00:39:49,289
Shrek loves me for who I am.
651
00:39:49,497 --> 00:39:52,011
I would think you'd be happy for me.
652
00:39:52,208 --> 00:39:55,439
Darling, I'm just thinking about
what's best for you.
653
00:39:55,670 --> 00:39:58,867
Maybe you should do the same.
654
00:40:04,387 --> 00:40:05,786
[Both whisper]
655
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,078
No, really?
656
00:40:14,230 --> 00:40:15,185
[Both laugh]
657
00:40:16,231 --> 00:40:18,028
[Shrek] Shh...
658
00:40:19,819 --> 00:40:21,491
Oh...
659
00:40:23,614 --> 00:40:25,013
[hooter blasts]
660
00:40:25,157 --> 00:40:29,230
Oh, no. That's the old Keebler's place.
Let's back away slowly.
661
00:40:29,495 --> 00:40:31,326
That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage.
662
00:40:31,497 --> 00:40:34,807
She's the largest producer of hexes
and potions in the whole kingdom.
663
00:40:35,042 --> 00:40:38,512
Then why don't we pop in there
for a spell? Ha-ha! Spell!
664
00:40:38,753 --> 00:40:40,983
[Puss In Boots
shrieks with laughter]
665
00:40:43,842 --> 00:40:45,514
[Puss In Boots] He makes me laugh.
666
00:40:51,016 --> 00:40:53,211
Hi. I'm here to see the...
667
00:40:53,393 --> 00:40:56,271
The Fairy Godmother.
I'm sorry. She is not in.
668
00:40:56,479 --> 00:40:59,312
Jerome!
Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now!
669
00:40:59,523 --> 00:41:00,672
[Sighs]
670
00:41:00,817 --> 00:41:03,854
Yes, Fairy Godmother.
Right away.
671
00:41:04,070 --> 00:41:06,743
Look, she's not seeing
any clients today, OK?
672
00:41:06,948 --> 00:41:09,018
That's OK, buddy.
We're from the union.
673
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:10,155
The union?
674
00:41:10,284 --> 00:41:14,482
We represent the workers in all magical
industries, both evil and benign.
675
00:41:14,747 --> 00:41:16,419
Oh! Oh, right.
676
00:41:16,582 --> 00:41:19,494
Are you feeling at all
degraded or oppressed?
677
00:41:19,710 --> 00:41:23,225
Uh... a little.
We don't even have dental.
678
00:41:23,464 --> 00:41:25,056
They don't even have dental.
679
00:41:25,216 --> 00:41:27,411
Okay, we'll just have
a look around.
680
00:41:27,593 --> 00:41:28,742
Oh. By the way.
681
00:41:28,886 --> 00:41:32,037
I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother
didn't know we were here.
682
00:41:32,264 --> 00:41:35,222
- Know what I'm saying? Huh?
- Huh? Huh? Huh?
683
00:41:35,475 --> 00:41:38,592
- Stop it.
- Of course. Go right in.
684
00:41:40,230 --> 00:41:41,709
[Voices and grinding machines]
685
00:42:02,918 --> 00:42:04,067
[Explosion]
686
00:42:08,174 --> 00:42:09,766
A drop of desire.
687
00:42:10,927 --> 00:42:12,679
[Giggles] Naughty!
688
00:42:13,971 --> 00:42:15,563
A pinch of passion.
689
00:42:16,766 --> 00:42:17,721
[Laughs]
690
00:42:20,811 --> 00:42:23,086
And just a hint of...
691
00:42:23,814 --> 00:42:24,929
lust!
692
00:42:27,443 --> 00:42:28,398
[Laughs]
693
00:42:28,527 --> 00:42:30,404
- [Shrek] Excuse me.
- [Gasps]
694
00:42:30,571 --> 00:42:32,209
Sorry to barge in like this...
695
00:42:32,364 --> 00:42:35,356
What in Grimm's name
are you doing here?
696
00:42:35,576 --> 00:42:40,331
Well, it seems
that Fiona's not exactly happy.
697
00:42:40,622 --> 00:42:41,850
Oh-ho-ho!
698
00:42:41,998 --> 00:42:44,466
And there's some question
as to why that is?
699
00:42:45,461 --> 00:42:47,577
Well, let's explore that, shall we?
700
00:42:49,339 --> 00:42:53,093
Ah. P, P, P.
Princess. Cinderella.
701
00:42:53,426 --> 00:42:56,418
Here we are.
"Lived happily ever after." Oh...
702
00:42:56,638 --> 00:42:58,708
[laughs] No ogres!
703
00:42:58,890 --> 00:43:00,209
Let's see. Snow White.
704
00:43:00,350 --> 00:43:03,979
A handsome prince.
Oh, no ogres.
705
00:43:04,228 --> 00:43:06,378
Sleeping Beauty. Oh, no ogres!
706
00:43:06,565 --> 00:43:09,557
Hansel and Gretel? No!
Thumbelina? No.
707
00:43:09,776 --> 00:43:12,574
The Golden Bird,
the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman...
708
00:43:12,779 --> 00:43:15,373
No, no, no, no, no!
709
00:43:15,573 --> 00:43:19,771
You see, ogres don't
live happily ever after.
710
00:43:20,035 --> 00:43:21,593
All right, look, lady!
711
00:43:21,745 --> 00:43:25,294
Don't you point...
those dirty green sausages at me!
712
00:43:26,833 --> 00:43:28,505
Your Monte Cristo and coffee.
713
00:43:28,669 --> 00:43:30,148
Oh! Sorry.
714
00:43:30,296 --> 00:43:32,252
Ah... that's okay.
715
00:43:32,423 --> 00:43:34,618
We were just leaving.
716
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,360
Very sorry to have wasted your time,
Miss Godmother.
717
00:43:37,553 --> 00:43:39,271
Just... go.
718
00:43:39,429 --> 00:43:40,703
Come on, guys.
719
00:43:45,018 --> 00:43:46,736
[Whistles tune]
720
00:43:56,613 --> 00:43:58,490
TGIF, eh, buddy?
721
00:44:00,533 --> 00:44:03,127
Working hard or hardly working,
eh, Mac?
722
00:44:12,378 --> 00:44:15,848
Get your fine Corinthian footwear
and your cat cheeks out of my face!
723
00:44:16,090 --> 00:44:17,967
Man, that stinks!
724
00:44:18,134 --> 00:44:21,206
You don't exactly smell like
a basket of roses.
725
00:44:24,223 --> 00:44:28,660
- Well, one of these has got to help.
- I was just concocting this very plan!
726
00:44:28,935 --> 00:44:31,893
Already our minds are becoming one.
727
00:44:32,106 --> 00:44:36,782
Whoa, whoa. If we need an expert on
licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.
728
00:44:37,069 --> 00:44:38,627
Shrek, this is a bad idea.
729
00:44:38,779 --> 00:44:41,851
Look. Make yourself useful
and go keep watch.
730
00:44:42,074 --> 00:44:45,271
Puss, do you think you
could get to those on top?
731
00:44:45,493 --> 00:44:47,404
No problema, boss.
In one of my nine lives,
732
00:44:47,579 --> 00:44:50,332
I was the great cat burglar
of Santiago de Compostela.
733
00:44:50,540 --> 00:44:51,814
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
734
00:44:51,959 --> 00:44:53,233
Shrek, are you off your nut?
735
00:44:53,377 --> 00:44:54,935
Donkey, keep watch.
736
00:44:55,087 --> 00:44:56,998
Keep watch?
Yeah, I'll keep watch.
737
00:44:57,172 --> 00:45:01,006
I'll watch that wicked witch come and
whammy a world of hurt up your backside.
738
00:45:01,259 --> 00:45:04,057
I'll laugh, too.
I'll be giggling to myself.
739
00:45:04,262 --> 00:45:06,901
- What do you see?
- Toad Stool Softener?
740
00:45:07,098 --> 00:45:11,011
I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution
for marital problems.
741
00:45:11,268 --> 00:45:13,099
- Elfa Seltzer?
- Uh-uh.
742
00:45:13,271 --> 00:45:16,627
- Hex Lax?
- No! Try "handsome."
743
00:45:17,734 --> 00:45:19,087
Sorry. No handsome.
744
00:45:20,444 --> 00:45:23,356
Hey! How about "Happily Ever After"?
745
00:45:23,572 --> 00:45:25,608
Well, what does it do?
746
00:45:26,408 --> 00:45:29,002
It says "Beauty Divine."
747
00:45:29,203 --> 00:45:32,400
In some cultures, donkeys are revered
as the wisest of creatures.
748
00:45:32,622 --> 00:45:34,135
Especially us talking ones.
749
00:45:34,292 --> 00:45:36,328
[Gasps] Donkey!
750
00:45:38,045 --> 00:45:39,876
That'll have to do.
We've got company.
751
00:45:47,429 --> 00:45:48,657
Can we get on with this?
752
00:45:52,016 --> 00:45:53,574
Hurry!
753
00:46:02,235 --> 00:46:03,634
Nice catch, Donkey!
754
00:46:03,820 --> 00:46:05,697
Finally! A good use for your mouth.
755
00:46:07,740 --> 00:46:09,617
[Pete Yorn: Ever Fallen In Love]
756
00:46:10,242 --> 00:46:11,197
Come on!
757
00:46:17,208 --> 00:46:19,722
You spurn my natural emotions
758
00:46:19,919 --> 00:46:23,548
You make me feel like dirt
and I'm hurt
759
00:46:28,135 --> 00:46:30,490
And if I start a commotion
760
00:46:30,679 --> 00:46:34,149
I run the risk of losing you
and that's worse
761
00:46:37,937 --> 00:46:41,486
Ever fallen in love with someone,
ever fallen in love
762
00:46:41,732 --> 00:46:44,166
In love with someone,
ever fallen in love
763
00:46:44,359 --> 00:46:47,510
In love with someone
you shouldn't have fallen in love with
764
00:46:54,202 --> 00:46:57,512
Ever fallen in love with someone,
ever fallen in love
765
00:46:57,747 --> 00:47:00,341
In love with someone,
ever fallen in love
766
00:47:00,542 --> 00:47:03,010
With someone
you shouldn't have fallen in love with
767
00:47:04,546 --> 00:47:06,298
Fallen in love with
768
00:47:07,590 --> 00:47:12,027
Ever fallen in love with someone
you shouldn't have fallen in love with
769
00:47:12,970 --> 00:47:17,486
I don't care whose fault it is.
Just get this place cleaned up!
770
00:47:17,766 --> 00:47:22,442
And somebody bring me something
deep fried and smothered in chocolate!
771
00:47:23,564 --> 00:47:26,920
- Mother!
- Charming. Sweetheart.
772
00:47:27,151 --> 00:47:30,461
This isn't a good time, pumpkin.
Mama's working.
773
00:47:30,696 --> 00:47:32,732
Whoa, what happened here?
774
00:47:32,906 --> 00:47:35,864
- The ogre, that's what!
- What? Where is he, Mom?
775
00:47:36,076 --> 00:47:38,465
I shall rend his head
from his shoulders!
776
00:47:38,662 --> 00:47:40,971
I will smite him where he stands!
777
00:47:41,165 --> 00:47:44,999
He will rue the very day he stole
my kingdom from me!
778
00:47:45,919 --> 00:47:49,594
Oh, put it away, Junior!
You're still going to be king.
779
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:52,308
We'll just have to come up
with something smarter.
780
00:47:52,509 --> 00:47:54,465
Pardon. Um...
781
00:47:54,636 --> 00:47:58,675
Everything is accounted for,
Fairy Godmother, except for one potion.
782
00:47:58,931 --> 00:47:59,966
What?
783
00:48:01,059 --> 00:48:02,014
Oh...
784
00:48:02,894 --> 00:48:06,011
I do believe we can make
this work to our advantage.
785
00:48:07,941 --> 00:48:11,490
"Happily Ever After Potion.
Maximum strength.
786
00:48:11,736 --> 00:48:14,250
"For you and your true love.
787
00:48:14,447 --> 00:48:17,007
"If one of you drinks this,
you both will be fine.
788
00:48:17,199 --> 00:48:19,918
"Happiness, comfort
and beauty divine."
789
00:48:20,119 --> 00:48:23,668
- You both will be fine?
- I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too.
790
00:48:24,874 --> 00:48:28,389
Hey, man, this don't feel right.
My donkey senses are tingling all over.
791
00:48:28,627 --> 00:48:31,425
Drop that jug o' voodoo
and let's get out of here.
792
00:48:31,630 --> 00:48:34,940
It says, "Beauty Divine."
How bad can it be?
793
00:48:36,051 --> 00:48:36,961
[Sneezes]
794
00:48:37,094 --> 00:48:40,006
See, you're allergic to that stuff.
You'll have a reaction.
795
00:48:40,263 --> 00:48:44,415
And if you think that I'll be smearing
Vapo Rub over your chest, think again!
796
00:48:44,685 --> 00:48:47,563
Boss, just in case there is something
wrong with the potion...
797
00:48:47,771 --> 00:48:49,602
allow me to take the first sip.
798
00:48:49,773 --> 00:48:53,129
It would be an honour to lay my life
on the line for you.
799
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,396
Oh, no, no. I don't think so.
800
00:48:55,570 --> 00:48:58,038
If there'll be any animal testing,
I'll do it.
801
00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:01,231
That's the best friend's job.
Now give me that bottle.
802
00:49:06,623 --> 00:49:08,341
How do you feel?
803
00:49:09,250 --> 00:49:12,526
I don't feel any different.
I look any different?
804
00:49:12,754 --> 00:49:14,824
You still look like an ass to me.
805
00:49:15,006 --> 00:49:17,918
Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys.
806
00:49:18,968 --> 00:49:22,722
- Well, here's to us, Fiona.
- Shrek?
807
00:49:22,971 --> 00:49:26,520
- You drink that, there's no going back.
- I know.
808
00:49:26,768 --> 00:49:28,520
- No more wallowing in the mud?
- I know.
809
00:49:28,686 --> 00:49:30,324
- No more itchy butt crack?
- I know!
810
00:49:30,479 --> 00:49:32,754
- But you love being an ogre!
- I know!
811
00:49:36,610 --> 00:49:38,290
But I love Fiona more.
812
00:49:38,362 --> 00:49:38,600
But I love Fiona more.
813
00:49:39,905 --> 00:49:41,702
Shrek, no! Wait!
814
00:49:45,702 --> 00:49:47,101
[Gurgling]
815
00:49:52,376 --> 00:49:53,525
[Farts]
816
00:49:54,544 --> 00:49:58,776
Got to be... I think you grabbed
the "Farty Ever After" potion.
817
00:49:59,048 --> 00:50:00,766
Maybe it's a dud.
818
00:50:00,925 --> 00:50:01,405
Or maybe Fiona and I
were never meant to be.
819
00:50:01,426 --> 00:50:03,815
Or maybe Fiona and I
were never meant to be.
820
00:50:04,011 --> 00:50:05,763
[Thunder rumbles]
821
00:50:07,641 --> 00:50:11,077
Uh-oh. What did I tell you?
I feel something coming on.
822
00:50:11,311 --> 00:50:14,462
I don't want to die.
I don't want to die. I don't want to die!
823
00:50:14,689 --> 00:50:17,886
Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy.
I'm melting!
824
00:50:18,109 --> 00:50:20,100
I'm melting!
825
00:50:20,277 --> 00:50:22,108
It's just the rain, Donkey.
826
00:50:23,155 --> 00:50:25,510
[Chuckles] Oh.
827
00:51:07,198 --> 00:51:09,996
Don't worry. Things seem bad
because it's dark and rainy
828
00:51:10,202 --> 00:51:12,670
and Fiona's father hired
a sleazy hitman to whack you.
829
00:51:12,871 --> 00:51:13,781
[Hisses]
830
00:51:13,913 --> 00:51:16,825
Lt'll be better in the morning.
You'll see...
831
00:51:17,083 --> 00:51:19,995
The sun'll come out...
832
00:51:20,211 --> 00:51:21,929
Tomorrow
833
00:51:22,088 --> 00:51:22,998
[yawns]
834
00:51:23,130 --> 00:51:24,768
Bet your bottom...
835
00:51:24,924 --> 00:51:26,642
Bet my bottom?
836
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:28,028
I'm coming, Elizabeth!
837
00:51:28,177 --> 00:51:29,769
Donkey?
838
00:51:29,928 --> 00:51:31,759
Are you all right?
839
00:51:31,931 --> 00:51:35,606
- Hey, boss. Let's shave him.
- D-Donkey?
840
00:51:36,435 --> 00:51:37,390
[Groans]
841
00:51:38,604 --> 00:51:40,515
[Puss In Boots shrieks]
842
00:51:45,235 --> 00:51:47,510
There you are!
We missed you at dinner.
843
00:51:48,988 --> 00:51:50,421
What is it, darling?
844
00:51:50,573 --> 00:51:52,086
Dad...
845
00:51:52,242 --> 00:51:54,472
I've been thinking
about what you said.
846
00:51:55,537 --> 00:51:57,368
And I'm going to set things right.
847
00:51:57,581 --> 00:51:59,970
Ah! Excellent!
That's my girl.
848
00:52:00,166 --> 00:52:02,760
It was a mistake to bring Shrek here.
849
00:52:02,961 --> 00:52:05,600
I'm going to go out and find him.
850
00:52:05,797 --> 00:52:08,755
And then we'll go back
to the swamp where we belong.
851
00:52:12,094 --> 00:52:13,812
[Lillian] Fiona, please!
852
00:52:13,972 --> 00:52:16,805
Let's not be rash, darling.
You can't go anywhere right now.
853
00:52:17,016 --> 00:52:18,165
[Rain patters]
854
00:52:19,852 --> 00:52:21,001
[Both] Fiona!
855
00:53:00,892 --> 00:53:05,647
Look, I told you he was here.
Look at him! Quiet. Look at him.
856
00:53:06,689 --> 00:53:08,088
[Shrek groans]
857
00:53:08,232 --> 00:53:09,711
Good morning, sleepyhead.
858
00:53:09,859 --> 00:53:10,814
[Shrek shouts]
859
00:53:10,943 --> 00:53:12,376
[All] Good morning!
860
00:53:12,528 --> 00:53:14,041
We love your kitty!
861
00:53:14,196 --> 00:53:17,745
- [Shrek] Oh... My head...
- Here, I fetched a pail of water.
862
00:53:17,992 --> 00:53:19,471
Thanks.
863
00:53:19,619 --> 00:53:20,574
Uhh!
864
00:53:23,122 --> 00:53:24,635
Aahh!
865
00:53:24,790 --> 00:53:25,745
Oh...
866
00:53:27,585 --> 00:53:30,099
A cute button nose?
867
00:53:30,295 --> 00:53:32,251
Thick, wavy locks?
868
00:53:33,257 --> 00:53:35,213
Taut, round buttocks?
869
00:53:36,092 --> 00:53:37,525
I'm... I'm...
870
00:53:37,678 --> 00:53:38,997
- Gorgeous!
- I'll say.
871
00:53:39,138 --> 00:53:40,730
I'm Jill. What's your name?
872
00:53:40,890 --> 00:53:44,883
- Um... Shrek.
- Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe?
873
00:53:45,144 --> 00:53:47,339
- You're tense.
- I want to rub his shoulders.
874
00:53:47,521 --> 00:53:50,194
- I got it covered.
- I don't have anything to rub.
875
00:53:50,398 --> 00:53:51,078
Get in line.
876
00:53:51,107 --> 00:53:51,903
Get in line.
877
00:53:52,025 --> 00:53:54,823
- Have you seen my donkey?
- Who are you calling donkey?
878
00:53:56,154 --> 00:53:59,703
- Donkey? You're a...
- A stallion, baby!
879
00:54:00,033 --> 00:54:00,943
I can whinny.
880
00:54:01,076 --> 00:54:03,112
[Whinnies]
I can count.
881
00:54:03,537 --> 00:54:06,370
Look at me, Shrek!
I'm trotting!
882
00:54:07,081 --> 00:54:10,073
That's some quality potion.
What's in that stuff?
883
00:54:10,293 --> 00:54:13,365
"Oh, don't take the potion,
Mr. Boss, it's very bad."
884
00:54:13,587 --> 00:54:14,622
Pah!
885
00:54:14,755 --> 00:54:19,112
"Warning: Side effects may include
burning, itching, oozing, weeping.
886
00:54:19,386 --> 00:54:22,776
"Not intended for heart patients
or those with... nervous disorders."
887
00:54:23,014 --> 00:54:26,006
I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place! Yeah!
888
00:54:28,227 --> 00:54:29,216
What?
889
00:54:29,353 --> 00:54:32,902
Señor? "To make the effects
of this potion permanent,
890
00:54:33,148 --> 00:54:36,584
"the drinker must obtain his
true love's kiss by midnight."
891
00:54:36,818 --> 00:54:39,013
Midnight?
Why is it always midnight?
892
00:54:39,196 --> 00:54:41,915
- Pick me! I'll be your true love!
- I'll be your true love.
893
00:54:42,116 --> 00:54:44,550
I'll be true... enough.
894
00:54:44,785 --> 00:54:47,982
Look, ladies, I already have a true love.
895
00:54:48,205 --> 00:54:49,274
[All] Oh...
896
00:54:49,414 --> 00:54:50,813
And take it from me, Boss.
897
00:54:50,957 --> 00:54:53,949
You are going to have
one satisfied princess.
898
00:54:54,169 --> 00:54:56,729
And let's face it.
You are a lot easier on the eyes.
899
00:54:56,921 --> 00:54:59,230
Inside you're the same
old mean, salty...
900
00:54:59,424 --> 00:55:01,335
- Easy.
...cantankerous, foul,
901
00:55:01,510 --> 00:55:03,228
angry ogre you always been.
902
00:55:03,387 --> 00:55:05,457
And you're still the same
annoying donkey.
903
00:55:05,639 --> 00:55:08,107
- Yeah.
- [Sighs]
904
00:55:08,308 --> 00:55:09,787
Well...
905
00:55:10,476 --> 00:55:14,185
Look out, Princess.
Here comes the new me.
906
00:55:15,022 --> 00:55:16,341
First things first.
907
00:55:16,482 --> 00:55:18,916
- We need to get you out of those clothes.
- [All gasp]
908
00:55:22,739 --> 00:55:24,252
- Ready?
- Ready!
909
00:55:28,202 --> 00:55:30,193
- [Donkey screams]
- Driver, stop!
910
00:55:30,371 --> 00:55:33,363
Oh, God! Help me, please!
My racing days are over!
911
00:55:33,582 --> 00:55:35,220
I'm blind! Tell the truth.
912
00:55:35,375 --> 00:55:37,013
Will I ever play the violin again?
913
00:55:37,169 --> 00:55:38,807
You poor creature!
914
00:55:38,962 --> 00:55:41,078
Is there anything
I can do for you?
915
00:55:41,256 --> 00:55:43,406
Well, I guess there is one thing.
916
00:55:43,592 --> 00:55:46,470
Take off the powdered wig
and step away from your drawers.
917
00:55:50,599 --> 00:55:52,829
- Not bad.
- Not bad at all.
918
00:55:55,854 --> 00:55:56,809
[Both laugh]
919
00:56:00,858 --> 00:56:04,009
Father?
Is everything all right, Father?
920
00:56:09,451 --> 00:56:13,205
Thank you, gentlemen!
Someday, I will repay you.
921
00:56:13,454 --> 00:56:16,810
Unless, of course,
I can't find you or if I forget.
922
00:56:17,041 --> 00:56:20,078
- [Whinnies]
- [Puss In Boots, in angry Spanish]
923
00:56:22,463 --> 00:56:24,021
[Butterfly Boucher: Changes]
924
00:56:24,173 --> 00:56:26,243
Oh, yeah
925
00:56:34,016 --> 00:56:37,770
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Turn and face the strange
926
00:56:38,020 --> 00:56:40,056
Ch-Ch-Changes
927
00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:42,949
Don't wanna be a richer one
928
00:56:43,149 --> 00:56:44,821
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
929
00:56:44,984 --> 00:56:47,452
Turn and face the strange
930
00:56:47,655 --> 00:56:49,486
Ch-Ch-Changes
931
00:56:49,656 --> 00:56:52,489
Just gonna have to be
a different man
932
00:56:52,701 --> 00:56:55,090
Time may change me
933
00:56:55,287 --> 00:56:58,279
But I can't trace time
934
00:57:00,750 --> 00:57:01,626
Halt!
935
00:57:01,751 --> 00:57:05,141
Tell Princess Fiona her husband,
Sir Shrek, is here to see her.
936
00:57:09,885 --> 00:57:13,036
Still don't know what
I was looking for
937
00:57:13,263 --> 00:57:18,576
And my time was running wild,
a million dead-end streets
938
00:57:18,893 --> 00:57:21,851
Every time I thought
I'd got it made
939
00:57:22,062 --> 00:57:24,530
It seemed the taste
was not so sweet
940
00:57:24,732 --> 00:57:26,688
- [screams]
- Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
941
00:57:26,859 --> 00:57:28,372
Turn and face the strange
942
00:57:28,528 --> 00:57:30,962
- Shrek?
- Ch-Ch-Changes
943
00:57:31,155 --> 00:57:33,794
Don't wanna be a richer one
944
00:57:33,991 --> 00:57:36,630
Time may change me
945
00:57:36,827 --> 00:57:39,341
But I can't trace time
946
00:57:39,538 --> 00:57:40,493
Fiona?
947
00:57:43,834 --> 00:57:45,711
Hello, handsome.
948
00:57:47,629 --> 00:57:48,903
Shrek!
949
00:57:49,088 --> 00:57:52,239
- Princess!
- Donkey?
950
00:57:52,468 --> 00:57:54,504
Wow! That potion
worked on you, too?
951
00:57:54,678 --> 00:57:55,906
What potion?
952
00:57:56,054 --> 00:57:59,091
Shrek and I took some magic potion.
And well...
953
00:57:59,307 --> 00:58:01,423
Now, we're sexy!
954
00:58:02,810 --> 00:58:03,845
Shrek?
955
00:58:03,978 --> 00:58:05,377
[Purrs]
956
00:58:08,149 --> 00:58:10,663
For you, baby... I could be.
957
00:58:10,861 --> 00:58:13,056
- Yeah, you wish.
- Donkey, where is Shrek?
958
00:58:13,238 --> 00:58:15,468
He went inside looking for you.
959
00:58:17,450 --> 00:58:19,202
Shrek?
960
00:58:19,368 --> 00:58:21,882
Fiona! Fiona!
961
00:58:23,914 --> 00:58:25,984
You want to dance, pretty boy?
962
00:58:28,877 --> 00:58:32,426
Are you going so soon?
Don't you want to see your wife?
963
00:58:33,966 --> 00:58:34,876
Fiona?
964
00:58:37,428 --> 00:58:38,543
Shrek?
965
00:58:38,679 --> 00:58:41,352
Aye, Fiona. It is me.
966
00:58:41,557 --> 00:58:43,195
What happened to your voice?
967
00:58:43,350 --> 00:58:47,309
The potion changed
a lot of things, Fiona.
968
00:58:47,562 --> 00:58:50,030
But not the way I feel about you.
969
00:58:50,231 --> 00:58:51,664
Fiona?
970
00:58:52,610 --> 00:58:55,363
- Charming?
- Do you think so?
971
00:58:55,571 --> 00:58:59,200
[Laughs] Dad. I was so hoping
you'd approve.
972
00:58:59,449 --> 00:59:02,919
- Um... Who are you?
- Mom, it's me, Shrek.
973
00:59:03,161 --> 00:59:06,471
I know you never get a second chance
at a first impression,
974
00:59:06,748 --> 00:59:09,057
but, well, what do you think?
975
00:59:13,420 --> 00:59:16,014
[Shrek in distance] Fiona! Fiona!
976
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:19,358
Fiona!
977
00:59:19,510 --> 00:59:23,298
- Fiona!
- Fiona, Fiona! Ho-ho-ho!
978
00:59:23,556 --> 00:59:26,992
Oh, shoot! I don't think
they can hear us, pigeon.
979
00:59:27,226 --> 00:59:28,659
[Sighs deeply]
980
00:59:29,728 --> 00:59:32,959
Don't you think you've already
messed her life up enough?
981
00:59:33,982 --> 00:59:35,938
I just wanted her to be happy.
982
00:59:36,110 --> 00:59:38,340
And now she can be.
983
00:59:38,529 --> 00:59:40,440
Oh, sweetheart.
984
00:59:40,614 --> 00:59:44,289
She's finally found
the prince of her dreams.
985
00:59:44,535 --> 00:59:48,448
But look at me.
Look what I've done for her.
986
00:59:48,705 --> 00:59:51,822
It's time you stop living
in a fairy tale, Shrek.
987
00:59:52,041 --> 00:59:56,034
She's a princess,
and you're an ogre.
988
00:59:56,296 --> 01:00:00,175
That's something no amount
of potion will ever change.
989
01:00:07,682 --> 01:00:09,479
But...
990
01:00:09,642 --> 01:00:11,075
I love her.
991
01:00:11,227 --> 01:00:13,946
If you really love her...
992
01:00:14,146 --> 01:00:16,102
you'll let her go.
993
01:00:17,233 --> 01:00:19,269
[Nick Cave: People Ain't No Good]
994
01:00:21,112 --> 01:00:22,067
Shrek?
995
01:00:22,196 --> 01:00:23,231
Señor.
996
01:00:23,364 --> 01:00:26,242
What's going on?
Where are you going?
997
01:00:32,623 --> 01:00:36,821
You wouldn't have had anything to do
with this, would you, Harold?
998
01:00:42,216 --> 01:00:45,174
People just ain't no good
999
01:00:48,096 --> 01:00:51,293
I think that's well understood
1000
01:00:51,516 --> 01:00:53,108
There you go, boys.
1001
01:00:53,268 --> 01:00:55,145
Just leave the bottle, Doris.
1002
01:00:55,311 --> 01:00:57,620
Hey. Why the long face?
1003
01:00:58,689 --> 01:01:01,203
It was all just a stupid mistake.
1004
01:01:02,235 --> 01:01:05,910
I never should have rescued her
from that tower in the first place.
1005
01:01:08,283 --> 01:01:10,114
I hate Mondays.
1006
01:01:10,285 --> 01:01:13,755
I can't believe you'd walk away from
the best thing that happened to you.
1007
01:01:13,996 --> 01:01:15,509
What choice do I have?
1008
01:01:15,664 --> 01:01:18,974
She loves that pretty boy,
Prince Charming.
1009
01:01:19,209 --> 01:01:21,200
Come on. Is he really
that good-looking?
1010
01:01:21,379 --> 01:01:23,734
Are you kidding?
He's gorgeous!
1011
01:01:23,923 --> 01:01:26,995
He has a face that looks like
it was carved by angels.
1012
01:01:27,218 --> 01:01:29,686
- Oh. He sounds dreamy.
- You know...
1013
01:01:29,887 --> 01:01:33,084
shockingly, this isn't
making me feel any better.
1014
01:01:36,018 --> 01:01:39,806
Look, guys.
It's for the best.
1015
01:01:40,063 --> 01:01:41,416
Mom and Dad approve,
1016
01:01:41,565 --> 01:01:44,762
and Fiona gets the man
she's always dreamed of.
1017
01:01:44,985 --> 01:01:46,782
Everybody wins.
1018
01:01:47,863 --> 01:01:49,091
Except for you.
1019
01:01:49,239 --> 01:01:52,390
I don't get it, Shrek.
You love Fiona.
1020
01:01:52,617 --> 01:01:53,891
Aye.
1021
01:01:54,953 --> 01:01:57,421
And that's why
I have to let her go.
1022
01:01:58,331 --> 01:02:01,289
Excuse me, is she here?
1023
01:02:01,501 --> 01:02:03,537
She's, uh... in the back.
1024
01:02:04,921 --> 01:02:06,639
Oh, hello again.
1025
01:02:10,969 --> 01:02:13,005
Fairy Godmother. Charming.
1026
01:02:13,179 --> 01:02:17,297
You'd better have a good reason
for dragging us down here, Harold.
1027
01:02:17,558 --> 01:02:23,110
Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really...
warming up to Prince Charming.
1028
01:02:23,439 --> 01:02:26,795
- FYI, not my fault.
- No, of course it's not, dear.
1029
01:02:27,068 --> 01:02:28,786
I mean,
how charming can I be
1030
01:02:28,945 --> 01:02:31,254
when I have to pretend
I'm that dreadful ogre?
1031
01:02:31,447 --> 01:02:33,403
No, no, it's nobody's fault.
1032
01:02:33,574 --> 01:02:36,725
Perhaps it's best if we just
call the whole thing off, okay?
1033
01:02:36,952 --> 01:02:41,150
- [Both] What?
- You can't force someone to fall in love!
1034
01:02:41,414 --> 01:02:44,451
I beg to differ.
I do it all the time!
1035
01:02:44,668 --> 01:02:48,946
Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love
with the first man she kisses,
1036
01:02:49,214 --> 01:02:51,091
which will be Charming.
1037
01:02:52,259 --> 01:02:55,137
- Umm... no.
- What did you say?
1038
01:02:55,345 --> 01:02:57,620
I can't. I won't do it.
1039
01:02:57,806 --> 01:02:59,319
Oh, yes, you will.
1040
01:02:59,474 --> 01:03:02,910
If you remember, I helped you
with your happily ever after.
1041
01:03:03,144 --> 01:03:06,534
And I can take it away
just as easily.
1042
01:03:06,773 --> 01:03:09,845
Is that what you want? Is it?
1043
01:03:10,944 --> 01:03:13,378
- No.
- Good boy.
1044
01:03:13,571 --> 01:03:15,209
Now, we have to go.
1045
01:03:15,365 --> 01:03:17,515
I need to do Charming's hair
before the ball.
1046
01:03:17,700 --> 01:03:19,816
He's hopeless.
He's all high in the front.
1047
01:03:19,994 --> 01:03:22,713
He can never get to the back.
You need someone to do the back.
1048
01:03:22,913 --> 01:03:24,471
Oh. Thank you, Mother.
1049
01:03:24,623 --> 01:03:26,375
[Donkey] Mother?
1050
01:03:26,543 --> 01:03:29,580
Um... Mary! A talking horse!
1051
01:03:29,796 --> 01:03:30,831
The ogre!
1052
01:03:32,673 --> 01:03:36,507
Stop them! Thieves! Bandits!
Stop them!
1053
01:03:38,303 --> 01:03:41,181
[Announcer] The abs are fab
and it's gluteus to the maximus
1054
01:03:41,390 --> 01:03:44,621
here at tonight's Far, Far Away
Royal Ball blowout!
1055
01:03:44,851 --> 01:03:47,763
The coaches are lined up
as the cream of the crop pours out of them
1056
01:03:47,980 --> 01:03:49,698
like Miss Muffet's curds and whey.
1057
01:03:49,857 --> 01:03:51,734
Everyone who's anyone
has turned out
1058
01:03:51,900 --> 01:03:54,289
to honour Princess Fiona
and Prince Shrek.
1059
01:03:54,486 --> 01:03:57,398
And, oh my,
the outfits look gorgeous!
1060
01:03:57,614 --> 01:03:58,888
Look! Hansel and Gretel!
1061
01:03:59,866 --> 01:04:01,538
What the heck are the crumbs for?
1062
01:04:01,701 --> 01:04:04,613
And right behind them,
Tom Thumb and Thumbelina!
1063
01:04:04,829 --> 01:04:07,389
- Oh, aren't they adorable!
- [Screaming]
1064
01:04:07,581 --> 01:04:10,573
[Woman] Here comes Sleeping Beauty!
1065
01:04:10,794 --> 01:04:12,625
Tired old thing.
1066
01:04:13,505 --> 01:04:16,224
Who's this? Who's this?
Who is this?
1067
01:04:16,424 --> 01:04:19,461
Oh. It's the one, it's the only...
1068
01:04:19,677 --> 01:04:22,145
It's the Fairy Godmother!
1069
01:04:22,346 --> 01:04:25,463
Hello, Far, Far Away!
1070
01:04:26,809 --> 01:04:28,845
Can I get a whoop whoop?
1071
01:04:30,229 --> 01:04:33,505
May all your endings be happy and...
1072
01:04:33,733 --> 01:04:36,645
Well, you know the rest!
1073
01:04:36,861 --> 01:04:39,739
We'll be right back with the Royal
Far, Far Away Ball
1074
01:04:39,947 --> 01:04:41,778
after these messages.
1075
01:04:41,949 --> 01:04:43,541
I hate these ball shows.
1076
01:04:43,700 --> 01:04:46,658
They bore me to tears.
Flip over to Wheel Of Torture!
1077
01:04:46,870 --> 01:04:50,306
I'm not flipping anywhere, sir,
until I see Shrek and Fiona.
1078
01:04:50,541 --> 01:04:53,135
Whizzes on you guys.
1079
01:04:53,335 --> 01:04:55,326
Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing!
1080
01:04:55,504 --> 01:04:57,654
No, to your left. Your left!
1081
01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:03,837
- Tonight on "Knights"...
- Now here's a good show!
1082
01:05:04,053 --> 01:05:07,329
We got a white bronco heading east
into the forest. Requesting backup.
1083
01:05:07,557 --> 01:05:09,548
It's time to teach these madcap mammals
1084
01:05:09,725 --> 01:05:12,364
their "devil may mare" attitudes
just won't fly.
1085
01:05:13,897 --> 01:05:17,446
Why you grabbing me?
Police brutality!
1086
01:05:18,776 --> 01:05:20,732
I have to talk to Princess Fiona!
1087
01:05:20,903 --> 01:05:22,859
- We warned you!
- Ow! Ow!
1088
01:05:23,030 --> 01:05:25,385
Did someone let the cat out of the bag?
1089
01:05:25,574 --> 01:05:27,451
You capitalist pig dogs!
1090
01:05:27,618 --> 01:05:28,892
[Shrieks]
1091
01:05:33,082 --> 01:05:34,674
- Catnip!
- That's not mine.
1092
01:05:35,835 --> 01:05:37,826
Find Princess Fiona!
1093
01:05:38,003 --> 01:05:39,595
I'm a donkey!
1094
01:05:39,755 --> 01:05:42,315
Tell her Shrek...
I'm her husband, Shrek!
1095
01:05:43,592 --> 01:05:44,991
Quick! Rewind it!
1096
01:05:46,094 --> 01:05:48,449
I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow!
1097
01:06:13,829 --> 01:06:14,784
[Knock on door]
1098
01:06:16,416 --> 01:06:17,405
Darling?
1099
01:06:18,460 --> 01:06:20,337
Ah. I thought I might
find you here.
1100
01:06:20,503 --> 01:06:23,973
How about a nice hot cup
of tea before the ball?
1101
01:06:25,341 --> 01:06:26,615
I'm not going.
1102
01:06:26,759 --> 01:06:29,671
The whole Kingdom's turned out
to celebrate your marriage.
1103
01:06:29,887 --> 01:06:33,675
There's just one problem.
That's not my husband.
1104
01:06:34,975 --> 01:06:36,613
I mean, look at him.
1105
01:06:38,979 --> 01:06:40,412
Yes, he is a bit different,
1106
01:06:40,564 --> 01:06:43,476
but people change
for the ones they love.
1107
01:06:43,692 --> 01:06:46,764
You'd be surprised how much
I changed for your mother.
1108
01:06:46,987 --> 01:06:48,659
Change?
1109
01:06:48,822 --> 01:06:50,938
He's completely lost his mind!
1110
01:06:51,116 --> 01:06:54,472
Why not come down to the ball
and give him another chance?
1111
01:06:54,702 --> 01:06:57,500
You might find you like
this new Shrek.
1112
01:06:57,706 --> 01:07:00,823
But it's the old one
I fell in love with, Dad.
1113
01:07:02,002 --> 01:07:04,038
I'd give anything to have him back.
1114
01:07:07,298 --> 01:07:10,256
Darling. That's mine. Decaf.
1115
01:07:10,468 --> 01:07:12,299
Otherwise I'm up all night.
1116
01:07:19,310 --> 01:07:20,868
Thanks.
1117
01:07:23,481 --> 01:07:24,834
I got to get out of here!
1118
01:07:24,982 --> 01:07:27,496
You can't lock us up like this!
Let me go!
1119
01:07:27,693 --> 01:07:29,126
What about my Miranda rights?
1120
01:07:29,278 --> 01:07:31,917
You're supposed to say
I have the right to remain silent.
1121
01:07:32,114 --> 01:07:34,230
Nobody said I have the right
to remain silent!
1122
01:07:34,408 --> 01:07:36,876
You have the right to remain silent.
1123
01:07:37,119 --> 01:07:39,553
What you lack is the capacity.
1124
01:07:39,747 --> 01:07:43,103
I must hold on before I, too,
go totally mad.
1125
01:07:43,334 --> 01:07:45,529
Shrek? Donkey?
1126
01:07:46,628 --> 01:07:48,027
Too late.
1127
01:07:48,213 --> 01:07:51,285
Gingy! Pinocchio!
Get us out of here!
1128
01:07:51,550 --> 01:07:52,699
Oh...
1129
01:07:52,842 --> 01:07:55,151
[Theme from Mission Impossible]
1130
01:07:57,013 --> 01:07:58,765
Fire in ze hole!
1131
01:07:58,931 --> 01:08:00,967
[Explosion, rumbling]
1132
01:08:17,700 --> 01:08:18,928
Look out below!
1133
01:08:21,454 --> 01:08:23,365
Quick! Tell a lie!
1134
01:08:23,540 --> 01:08:26,134
- What should I say?
- Anything, but quick!
1135
01:08:26,375 --> 01:08:29,208
Say something crazy like
"I'm wearing ladies' underwear!"
1136
01:08:29,420 --> 01:08:31,456
I am wearing ladies' underwear.
1137
01:08:35,384 --> 01:08:37,898
- Are you?
- I most certainly am not!
1138
01:08:38,970 --> 01:08:41,165
It looks like you
most certainly am are!
1139
01:08:41,349 --> 01:08:42,862
- I am not!
- What kind?
1140
01:08:43,017 --> 01:08:45,485
- It's a thong!
- Oww! They're briefs!
1141
01:08:45,769 --> 01:08:46,997
- Are not.
- Are too!
1142
01:08:47,146 --> 01:08:48,784
- Are not!
- Are too!
1143
01:08:48,939 --> 01:08:50,611
Here we go. Hang tight.
1144
01:08:54,152 --> 01:08:57,030
[Donkey] Wait, wait, wait!
Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey!
1145
01:08:57,781 --> 01:08:58,770
Ow!
1146
01:09:01,159 --> 01:09:03,389
- Excuse me?
- What? Puss!
1147
01:09:03,579 --> 01:09:05,615
Pardon me, would you
mind letting me go?
1148
01:09:05,789 --> 01:09:07,620
- Sorry, boss.
- Quit messing around!
1149
01:09:07,791 --> 01:09:09,543
We've got to stop that kiss!
1150
01:09:09,709 --> 01:09:11,461
I thought you was going
to let her go.
1151
01:09:11,628 --> 01:09:13,823
I was, but I can't let them
do this to Fiona.
1152
01:09:14,005 --> 01:09:17,077
Boom! That's what I like to hear.
Look who's coming around!
1153
01:09:17,300 --> 01:09:18,972
It's impossible!
We'll never get in.
1154
01:09:19,135 --> 01:09:22,047
The castle's guarded.
There's a moat and everything!
1155
01:09:22,262 --> 01:09:27,859
Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate
creek without a Popsicle stick.
1156
01:09:32,398 --> 01:09:36,027
- What?
- Do you still know the Muffin Man?
1157
01:09:36,276 --> 01:09:39,586
Well, sure!
He's down on Drury Lane. Why?
1158
01:09:39,821 --> 01:09:42,176
Because we're gonna need flour.
1159
01:09:42,365 --> 01:09:45,277
Lots and lots of flour.
1160
01:09:47,705 --> 01:09:50,060
Gingy!
1161
01:09:50,249 --> 01:09:54,481
Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man!
We've got a big order to fill!
1162
01:09:57,380 --> 01:09:58,529
[Evil chuckle]
1163
01:09:58,673 --> 01:10:00,550
[Gingy] It's alive!
1164
01:10:04,178 --> 01:10:05,577
[Rattling]
1165
01:10:05,722 --> 01:10:07,155
[Gasping]
1166
01:10:08,809 --> 01:10:12,518
[Whinnies] Run, run, run,
as fast you can!
1167
01:10:15,231 --> 01:10:16,903
[Screaming]
1168
01:10:19,860 --> 01:10:21,896
Go, baby, go!
1169
01:10:23,489 --> 01:10:26,322
There it is, Mongo!
To the castle!
1170
01:10:26,534 --> 01:10:30,732
[Shrek] No, you great stupid pastry!
Come on!
1171
01:10:30,997 --> 01:10:32,271
[All shout]
1172
01:10:38,712 --> 01:10:41,306
[Donkey] Mongo! Down here!
Look at the pony!
1173
01:10:43,008 --> 01:10:45,283
That's right! Follow the pretty pony!
1174
01:10:45,510 --> 01:10:47,865
Pretty pony wants to play
at the castle!
1175
01:10:48,055 --> 01:10:49,647
[Mongo] Pretty pony.
1176
01:10:51,392 --> 01:10:53,223
Ladies and gentlemen.
1177
01:10:53,393 --> 01:10:57,944
Presenting Princess Fiona
and her new husband, Prince Shrek.
1178
01:10:59,107 --> 01:11:00,460
[Applause, cheering]
1179
01:11:00,608 --> 01:11:02,644
Shrek, what are you doing?
1180
01:11:02,819 --> 01:11:05,936
I'm just playing the part, Fiona.
1181
01:11:06,155 --> 01:11:07,952
Is that glitter on your lips?
1182
01:11:08,115 --> 01:11:10,913
Mm. Cherry flavoured.
Want to taste?
1183
01:11:11,119 --> 01:11:14,794
- Ugh! What is with you?
- But, Muffin Cake...
1184
01:11:16,165 --> 01:11:17,723
[piano plays]
1185
01:11:17,875 --> 01:11:20,025
C Minor, put it in C Minor.
1186
01:11:21,212 --> 01:11:22,611
Ladies and gentlemen.
1187
01:11:23,714 --> 01:11:25,113
[Applause, cheering]
1188
01:11:25,257 --> 01:11:28,055
I'd like to dedicate this song to...
1189
01:11:28,260 --> 01:11:31,570
Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek.
1190
01:11:32,765 --> 01:11:34,403
Fiona, my Princess.
1191
01:11:34,559 --> 01:11:37,027
Will you honour me with a dance?
1192
01:11:37,686 --> 01:11:42,043
Where have all the good men gone
1193
01:11:42,316 --> 01:11:45,035
And where are all the gods?
1194
01:11:45,235 --> 01:11:46,304
[All chant] Dance!
1195
01:11:46,444 --> 01:11:50,039
Where's the streetwise Hercules
1196
01:11:50,323 --> 01:11:53,759
To fight the rising odds?
1197
01:11:57,164 --> 01:11:58,483
Since when do you dance?
1198
01:11:58,623 --> 01:12:01,376
Fiona, my dearest,
if there's one thing I know,
1199
01:12:01,584 --> 01:12:04,735
it's that love is full of surprises.
1200
01:12:04,963 --> 01:12:07,397
Late at night I toss and I turn
1201
01:12:07,590 --> 01:12:11,947
And I dream of what I need
1202
01:12:14,806 --> 01:12:16,319
Hit it!
1203
01:12:19,102 --> 01:12:20,660
I need a hero
1204
01:12:20,812 --> 01:12:24,725
All right, big fella!
Let's crash this party!
1205
01:12:26,317 --> 01:12:27,989
Man the catapults!
1206
01:12:28,652 --> 01:12:30,768
Aim! Fire!
1207
01:12:31,989 --> 01:12:35,026
- Brace yourselves!
- Ooh! Purty!
1208
01:12:37,578 --> 01:12:39,853
[Groaning]
1209
01:12:42,458 --> 01:12:44,653
Not the gumdrop button!
1210
01:12:47,504 --> 01:12:49,256
[Enraged howling]
1211
01:12:51,132 --> 01:12:53,885
Incoming!
1212
01:12:54,094 --> 01:12:55,573
Ha-ha! All right!
1213
01:12:58,599 --> 01:13:04,071
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
1214
01:13:04,396 --> 01:13:05,988
Go, Mongo! Go!
1215
01:13:09,692 --> 01:13:11,842
Man the cauldrons!
1216
01:13:16,741 --> 01:13:18,697
After you, Mongo.
1217
01:13:21,454 --> 01:13:25,572
- That's it! Heave-ho!
- Watch out!
1218
01:13:28,544 --> 01:13:29,772
Shrek!
1219
01:13:33,715 --> 01:13:35,433
More heat, less foam!
1220
01:13:35,592 --> 01:13:38,265
Up where the mountains
Meet the heavens above
1221
01:13:38,471 --> 01:13:41,304
Out where the lightning
Splits the sea
1222
01:13:41,515 --> 01:13:46,145
I could swear there is someone
Somewhere watching me
1223
01:13:46,436 --> 01:13:48,996
Heave! Ho!
1224
01:13:54,903 --> 01:13:57,576
[Gingy, slow-motion] No!
1225
01:13:57,781 --> 01:14:00,500
[Mongo groans]
1226
01:14:27,184 --> 01:14:28,617
[Whistles] Come on!
1227
01:14:28,769 --> 01:14:29,838
[Cheering]
1228
01:14:29,979 --> 01:14:31,048
Look out!
1229
01:14:31,188 --> 01:14:34,737
- Be good.
- [Weeping bitterly]
1230
01:14:36,235 --> 01:14:38,624
[Sobbing] He needs me!
Let me go!
1231
01:14:42,158 --> 01:14:43,716
Donkey!
1232
01:14:53,043 --> 01:14:54,442
Puss!
1233
01:14:57,547 --> 01:14:59,902
Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go!
1234
01:15:02,761 --> 01:15:05,150
Today, I repay my debt.
1235
01:15:10,727 --> 01:15:12,763
[All] Aww...
1236
01:15:13,521 --> 01:15:15,716
[growling] En garde!
1237
01:15:19,109 --> 01:15:22,021
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
1238
01:15:22,280 --> 01:15:25,636
And he's gotta be fresh
From the fight
1239
01:15:25,867 --> 01:15:28,620
- I need a hero
- Stop!
1240
01:15:29,662 --> 01:15:31,175
[Donkey whinnies]
1241
01:15:33,165 --> 01:15:37,681
- Hey, you! Back away from my wife.
- Shrek?
1242
01:15:38,754 --> 01:15:43,111
You couldn't just go back to your swamp
and leave well enough alone.
1243
01:15:43,384 --> 01:15:45,579
- Now!
- Pigs und blanket!
1244
01:15:48,430 --> 01:15:49,863
Pinocchio! Get the wand!
1245
01:15:50,015 --> 01:15:51,687
I see London! I see France!
1246
01:15:51,850 --> 01:15:53,124
Whah!
1247
01:15:55,437 --> 01:15:56,836
I'm a real boy!
1248
01:16:03,028 --> 01:16:04,859
Ah! Ah! Aaahhh!
1249
01:16:06,740 --> 01:16:07,695
Catch!
1250
01:16:08,992 --> 01:16:10,061
Donkey!
1251
01:16:12,829 --> 01:16:13,784
Oh!
1252
01:16:14,372 --> 01:16:15,805
I'm a real boy. Aah!
1253
01:16:15,957 --> 01:16:17,356
Oh!
1254
01:16:19,251 --> 01:16:20,604
- Ha!
- Ah.
1255
01:16:20,795 --> 01:16:22,433
That's mine!
1256
01:16:26,676 --> 01:16:28,155
Pray for mercy, from Puss...
1257
01:16:28,344 --> 01:16:29,857
And Donkey!
1258
01:16:30,012 --> 01:16:32,845
She's taken the potion!
Kiss her now!
1259
01:16:36,352 --> 01:16:37,307
No!
1260
01:16:54,953 --> 01:16:56,909
- Hi-ya!
- [Crowd gasp]
1261
01:16:59,082 --> 01:17:01,357
- Fiona.
- Shrek.
1262
01:17:01,543 --> 01:17:05,377
Harold! You were supposed
to give her the potion!
1263
01:17:05,630 --> 01:17:09,339
Well, I guess I gave her
the wrong tea.
1264
01:17:09,634 --> 01:17:11,864
- [Charming] Mommy!
- Mommy?
1265
01:17:12,595 --> 01:17:15,234
[Growls] I told you.
1266
01:17:15,431 --> 01:17:19,424
Ogres don't live happily ever after.
1267
01:17:23,314 --> 01:17:25,270
[Screams]
1268
01:17:29,279 --> 01:17:30,997
Woo!
1269
01:17:31,155 --> 01:17:32,304
Ha!
1270
01:17:39,246 --> 01:17:40,964
[Breathes deeply]
1271
01:17:43,166 --> 01:17:45,077
[Gasping] Oh, Dad!
1272
01:17:45,252 --> 01:17:47,447
[Sobbing]
1273
01:17:49,131 --> 01:17:50,928
- Is he?
- Yup.
1274
01:17:51,091 --> 01:17:52,285
[Croaking]
1275
01:17:52,426 --> 01:17:54,098
He croaked.
1276
01:17:56,388 --> 01:17:57,537
Harold?
1277
01:17:57,681 --> 01:17:59,433
Dad?
1278
01:17:59,599 --> 01:18:01,908
I'd hoped you'd never
see me like this.
1279
01:18:02,102 --> 01:18:04,218
- And he gave you a hard time!
- Donkey!
1280
01:18:04,395 --> 01:18:06,545
No, no, he's right.
I'm sorry.
1281
01:18:07,565 --> 01:18:08,600
To both of you.
1282
01:18:08,733 --> 01:18:11,566
I only wanted what
was best for Fiona.
1283
01:18:12,696 --> 01:18:14,846
But I can see now...
1284
01:18:15,031 --> 01:18:16,623
she already has it.
1285
01:18:17,742 --> 01:18:19,778
Shrek, Fiona...
1286
01:18:19,952 --> 01:18:24,582
Will you accept
an old frog's apologies...
1287
01:18:24,874 --> 01:18:27,593
and my blessing?
1288
01:18:27,793 --> 01:18:29,943
Harold?
I'm sorry, Lillian.
1289
01:18:30,129 --> 01:18:33,519
I just wish I could be
the man you deserve.
1290
01:18:34,926 --> 01:18:37,963
You're more that man today
than you ever were...
1291
01:18:38,179 --> 01:18:40,056
warts and all.
1292
01:18:40,222 --> 01:18:42,099
[Ribbits]
1293
01:18:42,266 --> 01:18:43,984
[Clock chimes]
1294
01:18:44,142 --> 01:18:46,337
Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion!
1295
01:18:46,520 --> 01:18:47,589
Midnight!
1296
01:18:48,396 --> 01:18:51,194
Fiona. Is this what you want?
1297
01:18:52,359 --> 01:18:54,315
To be this way forever?
1298
01:18:54,486 --> 01:18:58,001
- What?
- Because if you kiss me now...
1299
01:18:58,240 --> 01:18:59,912
we can stay like this.
1300
01:19:00,951 --> 01:19:02,862
You'd do that?
1301
01:19:03,036 --> 01:19:04,913
- For me?
- Yes.
1302
01:19:13,839 --> 01:19:16,512
I want what any princess wants.
1303
01:19:16,716 --> 01:19:19,355
To live happily ever after...
1304
01:19:23,514 --> 01:19:26,108
with the ogre I married.
1305
01:19:29,311 --> 01:19:32,144
Whatever happens,
I must not cry!
1306
01:19:32,356 --> 01:19:34,347
You cannot make me cry!
1307
01:19:34,525 --> 01:19:35,924
[Sobbing]
1308
01:19:36,068 --> 01:19:37,786
[Clock chimes]
1309
01:19:56,588 --> 01:19:57,862
Whoa!
1310
01:19:59,550 --> 01:20:02,747
No. No, no.
Aaah! Ow.
1311
01:20:06,139 --> 01:20:07,777
Oh, no.
1312
01:20:22,071 --> 01:20:23,743
[Sighs]
1313
01:20:23,906 --> 01:20:28,536
[Laughs] Hey. You still look like
a noble steed to me.
1314
01:20:32,164 --> 01:20:35,440
[Giggles] Now, where were we?
1315
01:20:35,667 --> 01:20:37,862
Oh. I remember.
1316
01:20:38,045 --> 01:20:40,434
[Giggling]
1317
01:20:40,631 --> 01:20:42,508
[Applause]
1318
01:20:45,052 --> 01:20:48,965
Hey! Isn't we supposed
to be having a fiesta?
1319
01:20:49,222 --> 01:20:50,780
Uno, dos, cuatro, hit it!
1320
01:20:54,769 --> 01:20:57,886
[Eddie Murphy/Antonio Banderas:
Livin' La Vida Loca]
1321
01:20:58,107 --> 01:20:59,506
Puss and Donkey, y'all...
1322
01:20:59,650 --> 01:21:02,289
She's into superstitions
1323
01:21:02,486 --> 01:21:04,954
Black cats and voodoo dolls
1324
01:21:05,155 --> 01:21:07,715
- Sing it, Puss!
- I feel a premonition
1325
01:21:07,907 --> 01:21:10,262
That girl's gonna make me fall
1326
01:21:11,953 --> 01:21:12,908
Here we go!
1327
01:21:13,037 --> 01:21:15,710
She's into new sensations
1328
01:21:15,915 --> 01:21:18,224
New kicks in the candlelight
1329
01:21:18,418 --> 01:21:20,978
She's got a new addiction
1330
01:21:21,171 --> 01:21:23,480
For every day and night
1331
01:21:23,673 --> 01:21:25,823
She'll make you take your clothes off
1332
01:21:26,008 --> 01:21:29,045
And go dancing in the rain
1333
01:21:29,261 --> 01:21:31,172
She'll make you live her crazy life
1334
01:21:31,347 --> 01:21:33,736
But she'll take away your pain
1335
01:21:33,932 --> 01:21:37,288
Like a bullet to your brain
1336
01:21:37,519 --> 01:21:39,874
Upside inside out
1337
01:21:40,064 --> 01:21:42,259
Living la vida loca
1338
01:21:44,110 --> 01:21:45,384
Hey gorgeous!
1339
01:21:45,528 --> 01:21:47,996
Living la vida loca
1340
01:21:48,197 --> 01:21:50,427
Her lips are devil red
1341
01:21:50,616 --> 01:21:52,846
And her skin's the colour of mocha
1342
01:21:53,034 --> 01:21:55,832
She will wear you out
1343
01:21:56,037 --> 01:21:58,631
- Living la vida loca
- [Donkey] She livin' it loca!
1344
01:21:58,831 --> 01:22:00,264
Living la vida loca
1345
01:22:00,417 --> 01:22:03,932
- [Donkey] Say it one more time now!
- Living the vida loca
1346
01:22:04,171 --> 01:22:07,607
[Puss In Boots jamming]
1347
01:22:09,426 --> 01:22:13,135
[Puss In Boots]
Hey, Donkey, that's Spanish!
1348
01:22:13,388 --> 01:22:14,821
She'll push and pull you down
1349
01:22:14,972 --> 01:22:17,486
Living la vida loca
1350
01:22:17,683 --> 01:22:20,197
She will wear you out
1351
01:22:20,394 --> 01:22:22,828
Living la vida loca
1352
01:22:23,023 --> 01:22:26,095
Living la vida loca
1353
01:22:26,317 --> 01:22:28,467
She'll push and pull you down
1354
01:22:28,653 --> 01:22:31,008
Living the vida loca
1355
01:22:31,197 --> 01:22:33,586
Her lips are devil red
1356
01:22:33,782 --> 01:22:36,091
And her skin's the colour of mocha
1357
01:22:36,285 --> 01:22:39,721
She will wear you out
1358
01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:41,513
Living la vida loca
1359
01:22:41,665 --> 01:22:44,259
Living la vida loca
1360
01:22:44,460 --> 01:22:46,849
Living la vida loca
1361
01:22:47,046 --> 01:22:49,844
Living la vida loca
1362
01:24:06,623 --> 01:24:07,663
All by myself
1363
01:24:07,708 --> 01:24:09,858
All by myself
1364
01:24:10,043 --> 01:24:11,396
Don't wanna be
1365
01:24:11,545 --> 01:24:15,982
All by myself anymore...
1366
01:24:16,257 --> 01:24:18,691
Amigo, we are off
to the Kit-Kat Club.
1367
01:24:18,885 --> 01:24:20,159
Come on, join us.
1368
01:24:20,303 --> 01:24:24,216
Thanks, compadre.
I'm... I'm not in the mood.
1369
01:24:24,473 --> 01:24:27,704
We will cheer you up!
Find you a nice burro!
1370
01:24:27,936 --> 01:24:29,369
[Shrieking]
1371
01:24:29,521 --> 01:24:30,510
Hey, baby!
1372
01:24:32,732 --> 01:24:36,884
Hey, that's my girl!
Yeah! All right!
1373
01:24:37,153 --> 01:24:38,268
Baby, where you been?
1374
01:24:38,404 --> 01:24:40,599
- [Cries]
- I'm sorry, too.
1375
01:24:40,781 --> 01:24:43,420
I should've stayed.
But Shrek had this thing he had to do.
1376
01:24:43,617 --> 01:24:45,096
What? Say it one more time.
1377
01:24:45,243 --> 01:24:47,711
What you talking about?
Are you serious?
1378
01:24:47,913 --> 01:24:50,222
- [Cooing]
- [Gasping]
1379
01:24:50,416 --> 01:24:52,168
- Papa!
- [Screaming]
1380
01:24:53,711 --> 01:24:55,667
- [Cooing, squealing]
- [Chuckling]
1381
01:24:58,882 --> 01:25:01,157
Look at our little mutant babies!
103285
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Sesotho
Shona
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
