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1
00:00:08.395 --> 00:00:10.475
This is me.
2
00:00:10.515 --> 00:00:11.715
You going to be OK?
3
00:00:11.755 --> 00:00:14.275
Yeah. Thought it was a
terrorist attack, but it wasn't.
4
00:00:14.315 --> 00:00:15.955
- Er, I'll see you tomorrow.
- Mm-hm.
5
00:00:15.995 --> 00:00:18.451
Unless something bad happens to me
on the way home, like I get mugged,
6
00:00:18.475 --> 00:00:20.571
but I'd probably still come
into work, because I'm new
7
00:00:20.595 --> 00:00:22.275
and I want to make a good impression.
8
00:00:22.315 --> 00:00:25.915
It would have to be something
really bad, like an assault.
9
00:00:25.955 --> 00:00:28.795
I hope nothing bad happens to you.
10
00:00:28.835 --> 00:00:32.475
- Thanks.
- Sorry, folks. A slight issue with the doors.
11
00:00:32.515 --> 00:00:34.515
Shouldn't be too long.
12
00:00:34.555 --> 00:00:36.795
Maybe we should get another drink.
13
00:00:36.835 --> 00:00:38.195
I've actually got to get back.
14
00:00:38.235 --> 00:00:40.195
Yeah, no, I didn't mean now.
15
00:00:40.235 --> 00:00:41.595
I meant another time or never.
16
00:00:41.635 --> 00:00:45.555
I mean, I totally would but, um...
17
00:00:45.595 --> 00:00:48.675
- ... me and Sheila are, kind of, back on.
- Oh.
18
00:00:48.715 --> 00:00:51.555
Are back on, not kind of. So...
19
00:00:51.595 --> 00:00:53.365
I didn't mean it in that way, anyway.
20
00:00:53.366 --> 00:00:54.915
Obviously, because we work together.
21
00:00:54.955 --> 00:00:56.315
Yeah, no, I didn't think you did.
22
00:00:56.355 --> 00:00:59.155
It would have been like a meeting.
23
00:00:59.195 --> 00:01:00.835
And I don't think of you that way.
24
00:01:00.875 --> 00:01:05.195
And when I do, I'm like, "Bleurgh!"
25
00:01:05.235 --> 00:01:08.115
- Just to be clear.
- Yeah, that was really clear.
26
00:01:08.155 --> 00:01:10.635
- So, goodnight.
- Yeah, yeah. See you around, bye.
27
00:01:10.675 --> 00:01:14.355
This is Finsbury Park. Change
here for the Piccadilly line...
28
00:01:14.395 --> 00:01:18.155
Last time I had penetrative sex,
David Cameron was Prime Minister.
29
00:01:18.195 --> 00:01:21.350
Nobody should have that as
a sexual reference point.
30
00:01:21.750 --> 00:01:24.155
And now I've got my diagnosis, I
can be with someone and enjoy it
31
00:01:24.195 --> 00:01:27.195
properly, instead of spending
the whole time worrying
32
00:01:27.235 --> 00:01:29.395
I'm a perv having an
inappropriate thought.
33
00:01:29.435 --> 00:01:31.635
I'm not letting my thoughts
cock block me any more.
34
00:01:31.675 --> 00:01:33.195
So, they've just stopped?
35
00:01:33.235 --> 00:01:37.275
- Yeah.
- No doctor, no therapy, no drugs, no recovery.
36
00:01:37.315 --> 00:01:39.915
- You're just better.
- Yeah, pretty much.
37
00:01:39.955 --> 00:01:42.315
And if I do get one, I'm like,
"It's not me, it's my OCD,"
38
00:01:42.355 --> 00:01:43.755
and it stops.
39
00:01:43.795 --> 00:01:45.501
So, I was going to say, if you want,
40
00:01:45.502 --> 00:01:47.555
I could always refer you to my guy.
41
00:01:47.595 --> 00:01:48.955
Why, is he single?
42
00:01:48.995 --> 00:01:50.235
That's not what I meant, is it?
43
00:01:50.275 --> 00:01:54.350
No, I'm not doing therapy. Sitting
in a room talking about myself
44
00:01:54.750 --> 00:01:58.355
and my feelings when I could be
out there feeling stuff and people.
45
00:01:58.395 --> 00:01:59.595
I want to live.
46
00:01:59.635 --> 00:02:02.195
I'm in London, there's,
like, four million males here.
47
00:02:02.235 --> 00:02:04.315
I could have sex with
all of them if I want to.
48
00:02:04.355 --> 00:02:08.750
I could have sex with him or him or...
49
00:02:08.115 --> 00:02:12.395
... yeah, not him because he'd always
be asking me for money. Annoying.
50
00:02:12.435 --> 00:02:14.555
And, actually, doesn't
matter if he's fit.
51
00:02:14.595 --> 00:02:17.115
Don't care about his personality,
I just care about his cock.
52
00:02:17.155 --> 00:02:18.931
He's not just a piece of
meat, you know, Marnie.
53
00:02:18.955 --> 00:02:20.915
Are you here to gossip or graft?
54
00:02:20.955 --> 00:02:22.195
I've got to go, right.
55
00:02:22.235 --> 00:02:23.595
Who's that? Is he fit?
56
00:02:23.635 --> 00:02:25.475
I'll see you tomorrow.
57
00:02:44.635 --> 00:02:45.875
Hey.
58
00:02:45.915 --> 00:02:47.875
Great you weren't mugged or assaulted.
59
00:02:47.915 --> 00:02:50.750
Nope, I am alive.
60
00:02:51.235 --> 00:02:52.555
Cool.
61
00:02:53.915 --> 00:02:55.955
Hey, can you do a coffee run?
62
00:02:55.995 --> 00:02:57.995
Get a receipt because
we're out of petty cash.
63
00:02:58.350 --> 00:02:59.715
- Remind me.
- Yup.
64
00:02:59.755 --> 00:03:00.755
Cheers.
65
00:03:11.555 --> 00:03:15.355
So, why are you planting onions
if there are already onions?
66
00:03:15.395 --> 00:03:18.955
That's because they're
daffodils, you nana.
67
00:03:18.995 --> 00:03:22.635
I got you a little something, actually.
68
00:03:25.750 --> 00:03:26.595
For your anniversary.
69
00:03:26.635 --> 00:03:27.755
Sam.
70
00:03:27.795 --> 00:03:29.515
Sweetheart.
71
00:03:29.555 --> 00:03:34.915
Just a little joke, help you get
back on the horse... or woman.
72
00:03:36.595 --> 00:03:38.235
Seriously, mate, I'm proud of you.
73
00:03:38.275 --> 00:03:41.155
You earned that, yeah,
every fucking day of it.
74
00:03:41.195 --> 00:03:42.955
You got anything special planned?
75
00:03:42.995 --> 00:03:43.995
Seeing a mate.
76
00:03:45.515 --> 00:03:47.835
And trying to get something
in the diary with Flora.
77
00:03:47.875 --> 00:03:52.235
She said if I was sober she'd
see me, so we could talk about us.
78
00:03:52.275 --> 00:03:55.195
- What, you've seen her?
- No, that was last year.
79
00:03:55.235 --> 00:03:56.635
She said that last year.
80
00:03:56.675 --> 00:03:59.315
A lot can change in a year, mate.
81
00:03:59.355 --> 00:04:01.875
She's the reason I'm still here.
82
00:04:01.915 --> 00:04:03.515
I did it for her.
83
00:04:03.555 --> 00:04:05.155
How do I say that?
84
00:04:06.595 --> 00:04:09.355
Fucking hell, it's like
Loose Women in here.
85
00:04:09.395 --> 00:04:10.795
Give me your phone.
86
00:04:10.835 --> 00:04:12.595
- Hey! Oi.
- Back off.
87
00:04:12.635 --> 00:04:15.555
I've got a trowel, go on.
88
00:04:20.350 --> 00:04:22.595
- It's like the first mobile phone.
- No smiley faces.
89
00:04:22.635 --> 00:04:24.795
Always with the smiley faces.
90
00:04:24.835 --> 00:04:26.795
Dear Flora...
91
00:04:26.835 --> 00:04:30.155
... you said we could talk
when I'd been sober a year.
92
00:04:30.195 --> 00:04:31.515
That's now.
93
00:04:31.555 --> 00:04:33.475
I'd love it if you got in touch.
94
00:04:33.515 --> 00:04:35.635
Love, Charlie.
95
00:04:37.675 --> 00:04:38.955
That's lovely.
96
00:04:38.995 --> 00:04:40.475
- Smiley face?
- Yeah, maybe not.
97
00:04:40.515 --> 00:04:41.635
Smiley face.
98
00:04:46.275 --> 00:04:47.875
And if she doesn't reply?
99
00:04:49.275 --> 00:04:53.915
Well, then I'll have to be your
plus one when we go horse riding.
100
00:04:53.955 --> 00:04:55.635
Come on.
101
00:04:55.675 --> 00:04:56.915
Crack on.
102
00:05:00.715 --> 00:05:02.435
What can I get you?
103
00:05:04.875 --> 00:05:08.750
Hi, uh, quite a lot, actually.
104
00:05:08.115 --> 00:05:09.355
It's not all for me.
105
00:05:09.395 --> 00:05:12.235
Don't even like coffee.
106
00:05:12.275 --> 00:05:14.675
What's wrong with you?
107
00:05:14.715 --> 00:05:18.515
Uh, you know when you just don't
like something so you avoid it?
108
00:05:18.555 --> 00:05:19.795
Like shaving.
109
00:05:20.995 --> 00:05:24.395
Well, that's because
you've never had my coffee.
110
00:05:24.435 --> 00:05:25.995
Well, I don't like it, so...
111
00:05:26.350 --> 00:05:27.811
Well, maybe I should make
you one so you can see.
112
00:05:27.835 --> 00:05:29.635
- Maybe you should.
- Maybe I will.
113
00:05:31.595 --> 00:05:33.350
I will.
114
00:05:36.395 --> 00:05:38.755
It's not me, it's my OCD.
115
00:05:38.795 --> 00:05:42.595
That's semi skimmed he's
frothing, not man milk.
116
00:05:42.635 --> 00:05:47.115
Right, this is a cortado.
117
00:05:47.155 --> 00:05:51.115
Your espresso is cut with
equal quantities of warm milk,
118
00:05:51.155 --> 00:05:52.715
to reduce acidity.
119
00:05:57.275 --> 00:06:01.395
That's not a cock, that's
meant to be a... heart.
120
00:06:01.435 --> 00:06:03.955
- Aw.
- Try it.
121
00:06:06.515 --> 00:06:08.475
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
122
00:06:10.315 --> 00:06:12.515
- That's on the house.
- Wow, thanks.
123
00:06:12.555 --> 00:06:14.155
Any time.
124
00:06:14.195 --> 00:06:17.875
Well, not, like, any time, 'cos
then I'd never make a profit.
125
00:06:22.395 --> 00:06:23.795
Oh, shall I stamp that?
126
00:06:23.835 --> 00:06:24.915
Yes, please.
127
00:06:30.715 --> 00:06:31.715
Thanks.
128
00:06:31.716 --> 00:06:33.195
- Come on.
- Oh!
129
00:06:48.350 --> 00:06:51.350
Just going back to that
free coffee thing, um...
130
00:06:51.750 --> 00:06:54.275
... maybe I could get you one back.
131
00:06:54.315 --> 00:06:56.275
Well, I already get it
free because I work here.
132
00:06:56.315 --> 00:06:57.525
- I meant alcohol.
- Oh.
133
00:06:57.535 --> 00:06:58.540
- In a pub.
- OK.
134
00:06:58.551 --> 00:07:01.155
Because I do like the taste of that.
135
00:07:01.195 --> 00:07:02.755
Yeah, that'd be great.
136
00:07:04.315 --> 00:07:05.675
Is tonight too soon?
137
00:07:05.715 --> 00:07:06.795
No, I could do tonight.
138
00:07:06.835 --> 00:07:08.795
- Great.
- I finish at six.
139
00:07:08.835 --> 00:07:10.315
Same.
140
00:07:10.355 --> 00:07:11.915
I'll come down here.
141
00:07:11.955 --> 00:07:13.355
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
142
00:07:13.395 --> 00:07:14.875
- Yeah.
- Yep.
143
00:07:20.750 --> 00:07:22.995
Hi, can you come in early
tomorrow and set up the boardroom
144
00:07:23.350 --> 00:07:24.715
for the investors meeting?
145
00:07:24.755 --> 00:07:25.835
Yeah, how early?
146
00:07:25.875 --> 00:07:28.755
7.30. Sorry, perks of being an intern.
147
00:07:28.795 --> 00:07:32.275
Get some juice, fruit,
pastries, that sort of thing.
148
00:07:32.315 --> 00:07:34.115
Is there petty cash or... ?
149
00:07:34.155 --> 00:07:36.755
No, sorry, no-one's been to the bank.
150
00:07:36.795 --> 00:07:39.235
Just get a receipt again, sorry.
151
00:07:39.275 --> 00:07:41.395
That's fine.
152
00:08:18.475 --> 00:08:20.115
Babe, what are you trying to do?
153
00:08:20.155 --> 00:08:21.355
Wings.
154
00:08:22.555 --> 00:08:26.515
Like you're trying to
draw a house, come here.
155
00:08:26.555 --> 00:08:28.155
Thanks.
156
00:08:28.195 --> 00:08:29.835
It's a bit much for the tube home.
157
00:08:29.875 --> 00:08:31.715
I'm going for a drink.
158
00:08:33.195 --> 00:08:34.515
You've got a date.
159
00:08:34.555 --> 00:08:36.675
Well, we're just calling it a drink.
160
00:08:36.715 --> 00:08:38.350
Who is he?
161
00:08:38.750 --> 00:08:40.370
I'm assuming it's a
bloke because you know,
162
00:08:40.371 --> 00:08:42.350
it's not Sunday and that's your gay day.
163
00:08:42.750 --> 00:08:44.675
He's just some guy I met.
164
00:08:44.715 --> 00:08:45.715
Is it Joe?
165
00:08:45.755 --> 00:08:47.555
What? No way.
166
00:08:47.595 --> 00:08:50.251
Aw, I think it's great, you know,
you're putting yourself out there,
167
00:08:50.275 --> 00:08:51.395
meeting new people.
168
00:08:51.435 --> 00:08:53.395
I'm getting to know my
city, being sociable.
169
00:08:53.435 --> 00:08:57.355
Like a Labrador, pissing on
things, dry humping people.
170
00:08:57.395 --> 00:09:00.555
If you go back to his, he's not
going to let you up on the bed.
171
00:09:00.595 --> 00:09:02.635
I won't be going back to his.
172
00:09:18.595 --> 00:09:20.435
Wait, wait, wait.
173
00:09:20.475 --> 00:09:21.595
What?
174
00:09:21.635 --> 00:09:23.395
Do I kiss weird?
175
00:09:23.435 --> 00:09:24.435
I'm just keen.
176
00:09:25.755 --> 00:09:26.955
I want to look at you.
177
00:09:32.750 --> 00:09:33.355
Ta-da.
178
00:09:38.875 --> 00:09:40.835
Aw.
179
00:09:40.875 --> 00:09:42.195
You like it?
180
00:09:42.235 --> 00:09:45.755
I'm not the biggest fan
of them, but this one is...
181
00:09:45.795 --> 00:09:47.555
... yeah.
182
00:09:49.395 --> 00:09:52.555
So, you'd rather if I didn't have one?
183
00:09:57.355 --> 00:09:59.675
I want you to make me come.
184
00:09:59.715 --> 00:10:00.835
OK.
185
00:10:05.755 --> 00:10:06.955
Not like that.
186
00:10:09.235 --> 00:10:12.475
With your mouth.
187
00:10:12.515 --> 00:10:14.275
Naughty, naughty.
188
00:10:14.315 --> 00:10:16.835
That I, uh, can do.
189
00:10:28.995 --> 00:10:30.795
I love doing this.
190
00:10:31.955 --> 00:10:34.115
Oh.
191
00:10:34.155 --> 00:10:36.955
- I love it.
- OK.
192
00:10:42.995 --> 00:10:44.355
Ooh.
193
00:10:44.395 --> 00:10:46.715
- What's up?
- It's just the bristles.
194
00:10:46.755 --> 00:10:49.355
Oh. Sorry.
195
00:10:52.595 --> 00:10:55.355
Are those sounds of pleasure or disgust?
196
00:10:55.395 --> 00:10:57.475
Shh.
197
00:10:57.515 --> 00:10:59.675
- Sorry.
- Is it usually this loud? Is that normal?
198
00:11:00.835 --> 00:11:02.715
Am I too wet?
199
00:11:02.755 --> 00:11:03.755
Is that pervy?
200
00:11:05.555 --> 00:11:07.435
What if I taste weird.
201
00:11:08.675 --> 00:11:10.635
It's not me, it's my OCD.
202
00:11:12.515 --> 00:11:14.875
I'm having an intrusive thought.
203
00:11:16.435 --> 00:11:18.875
I'm having an intrusive thought.
204
00:11:20.395 --> 00:11:23.635
I'm having a...
205
00:11:23.675 --> 00:11:25.675
Keep doing that.
206
00:11:40.315 --> 00:11:43.995
Just 'cos I didn't come
doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it.
207
00:11:44.350 --> 00:11:46.750
I mildly did.
208
00:11:46.115 --> 00:11:50.915
I can't expect fireworks from every
random shag, a sparkler's fine.
209
00:11:50.955 --> 00:11:54.355
Or one of those jazzy birthday
candles that keeps relighting,
210
00:11:54.395 --> 00:11:58.555
never comes to anything, but
still manages to raise a smile.
211
00:11:58.595 --> 00:11:59.875
Hey, beautiful.
212
00:12:03.315 --> 00:12:05.835
Last night blew my mind.
213
00:12:07.715 --> 00:12:10.555
What's happened to your face?
214
00:12:10.595 --> 00:12:12.555
Uh, I shaved it.
215
00:12:14.350 --> 00:12:15.515
'Cause of...
216
00:12:15.555 --> 00:12:17.555
... not what I said.
217
00:12:17.595 --> 00:12:19.675
Well, look at you.
218
00:12:19.715 --> 00:12:24.955
I mean we can't have that
happening every time, can we?
219
00:12:24.995 --> 00:12:29.195
Uh, I said I'd be in by half seven so...
220
00:12:29.235 --> 00:12:31.675
Oh sick, we can go in together.
221
00:12:33.350 --> 00:12:35.355
20 minutes?
222
00:12:38.115 --> 00:12:39.875
Yep.
223
00:12:49.935 --> 00:12:52.695
Ohhh!
224
00:12:52.735 --> 00:12:54.615
We should do that.
225
00:12:54.616 --> 00:12:55.616
_
226
00:12:55.695 --> 00:12:57.695
Be on the water.
227
00:12:57.735 --> 00:13:01.415
Need a deck and a meal,
drink some fine wine.
228
00:13:01.455 --> 00:13:04.655
Truly appreciate the
beauty of this magical city.
229
00:13:06.295 --> 00:13:07.615
Uh, yeah.
230
00:13:11.295 --> 00:13:13.150
When?
231
00:13:14.550 --> 00:13:19.735
I... I'd need to check my iCal later.
232
00:13:20.775 --> 00:13:23.375
Well, it's a date.
233
00:13:24.635 --> 00:13:26.555
When you pick one.
234
00:13:26.595 --> 00:13:28.635
Oh, shit, this is me.
235
00:13:30.315 --> 00:13:31.555
No, it's not.
236
00:13:31.595 --> 00:13:34.235
Yeah, no, I forgot, I've got to
pick up some stuff for work, so...
237
00:13:34.275 --> 00:13:35.515
Oh.
238
00:13:35.555 --> 00:13:37.795
Well, I'll see YOU later!
239
00:13:37.835 --> 00:13:39.315
OK, bye.
240
00:13:59.395 --> 00:14:01.750
Marnie!
241
00:14:01.115 --> 00:14:04.675
Hi, I can't really talk
right now, I'm at work.
242
00:14:04.715 --> 00:14:06.435
I thought something
terrible had happened.
243
00:14:06.475 --> 00:14:08.795
I was googling rapes and
murders in London, just in case.
244
00:14:08.835 --> 00:14:10.275
Where were you?
245
00:14:10.315 --> 00:14:11.435
I stayed at a mate's.
246
00:14:11.475 --> 00:14:13.635
Well, a strange man's flat.
247
00:14:13.675 --> 00:14:15.571
Yeah, the police said
that was the most likely...
248
00:14:15.595 --> 00:14:17.331
- You called the police!?
- Well, it said to call 101
249
00:14:17.355 --> 00:14:20.750
if I was that concerned about
your welfare, which I was.
250
00:14:20.115 --> 00:14:21.235
I'm fine.
251
00:14:21.275 --> 00:14:24.195
Just really aware of my vagina.
252
00:14:24.235 --> 00:14:25.795
Yeah, and I care about that vagina.
253
00:14:25.835 --> 00:14:27.811
I want to know about it. I
want to know where it's been.
254
00:14:27.835 --> 00:14:29.931
- No, you don't.
- And whether it's going to come home at night.
255
00:14:29.955 --> 00:14:34.350
So, a simple text from it, or the
person attached to it, would be nice.
256
00:14:34.750 --> 00:14:35.835
I didn't know you'd be this bothered.
257
00:14:35.875 --> 00:14:38.115
This is an appropriate response
if you live with someone.
258
00:14:38.155 --> 00:14:39.915
OK, sorry.
259
00:14:39.955 --> 00:14:41.955
I should work.
260
00:14:41.995 --> 00:14:44.795
If you want inappropriate, look
to your employers for exploiting
261
00:14:44.835 --> 00:14:47.675
young creative workers with
unrealistic work hours, zero pay,
262
00:14:47.715 --> 00:14:49.115
not even a travel card.
263
00:14:49.155 --> 00:14:50.835
If I don't do it, someone else will.
264
00:14:50.875 --> 00:14:52.275
Exactly, you're dispensable.
265
00:14:52.315 --> 00:14:53.715
No, I'm not...
266
00:14:53.755 --> 00:14:56.235
I'm still waiting on those
absence figures, Karen.
267
00:14:56.275 --> 00:14:57.795
Karen!
268
00:15:04.235 --> 00:15:05.875
- Morning.
- Hey.
269
00:15:05.915 --> 00:15:08.595
Oh, shit, babe. I forgot
to text you, they cancelled.
270
00:15:08.635 --> 00:15:10.115
But I bought all this stuff.
271
00:15:10.155 --> 00:15:11.715
Sorry to drag you from your bed.
272
00:15:11.755 --> 00:15:13.755
Or was it someone else's?
273
00:15:13.795 --> 00:15:15.355
- What?
- How was your date?
274
00:15:15.395 --> 00:15:17.955
- Yeah, it was fine.
- What did you get up to?
275
00:15:17.995 --> 00:15:20.750
Just got a drink, chatted.
276
00:15:20.115 --> 00:15:22.555
You didn't stay at his and
buy that top on your way in?
277
00:15:22.595 --> 00:15:25.155
No.
278
00:15:25.195 --> 00:15:26.675
Boop.
279
00:15:26.715 --> 00:15:28.155
He let you up on the bed, then, huh?
280
00:15:28.195 --> 00:15:29.355
I bought this ages ago.
281
00:15:29.395 --> 00:15:31.715
Who is it? Come on,
don't be so secretive.
282
00:15:31.755 --> 00:15:33.891
It doesn't matter who it is,
I'm not going to see him again.
283
00:15:33.915 --> 00:15:36.235
Well, I might see him with
my eyes, if I bump into him.
284
00:15:36.275 --> 00:15:38.350
Oh, what are you, four?
285
00:15:38.750 --> 00:15:40.155
Actually, I could murder a cuppa.
286
00:15:40.195 --> 00:15:42.155
Morning, lads.
287
00:15:47.955 --> 00:15:50.115
- Moira!
- Oh, it's actually Marnie.
288
00:15:50.155 --> 00:15:51.477
Can you make sure the fashion stock
289
00:15:51.478 --> 00:15:53.755
from the freebie cupboard gets returned?
290
00:15:53.795 --> 00:15:55.275
All the stuff on the rails.
291
00:15:55.315 --> 00:15:57.475
- Yeah.
- It's got to be today, OK?
292
00:15:57.515 --> 00:15:59.910
Today is, like, the
last day we can do it
293
00:15:59.115 --> 00:16:00.611
and it's like two
grand's worth of stuff.
294
00:16:00.635 --> 00:16:03.750
So, leave plenty of time,
'cos it's not all one shop.
295
00:16:03.115 --> 00:16:04.275
OK.
296
00:16:05.755 --> 00:16:07.435
- Nice top.
- Thanks.
297
00:16:25.675 --> 00:16:27.355
Sorry.
298
00:16:28.555 --> 00:16:31.750
Fuck off.
299
00:16:31.115 --> 00:16:34.350
So, good holiday?
300
00:16:35.275 --> 00:16:37.355
Was it a holiday, though?
301
00:16:37.395 --> 00:16:39.555
Depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts.
302
00:16:39.595 --> 00:16:42.635
Well, it was a kind of holiday.
303
00:16:42.675 --> 00:16:44.350
- Not really, though.
- A bit.
304
00:16:44.750 --> 00:16:45.395
It wasn't.
305
00:16:45.435 --> 00:16:47.355
Anyway, I'm better.
306
00:16:47.395 --> 00:16:50.435
I want to come back,
finish off my placement.
307
00:16:50.475 --> 00:16:53.715
God, I haven't been
on holiday for, like...
308
00:16:53.755 --> 00:16:55.155
... since Mauritius.
309
00:16:56.195 --> 00:16:59.595
So, I was just wondering
what I needed to do
310
00:16:59.635 --> 00:17:00.875
in order to do that.
311
00:17:02.155 --> 00:17:04.750
Are you sure you're ready?
312
00:17:04.115 --> 00:17:05.995
Definitely, yes.
313
00:17:06.350 --> 00:17:12.155
- Absolutely.
- Because the last time was really, um, badly timed.
314
00:17:12.195 --> 00:17:14.995
I'll time my next mental
breakdown more considerately.
315
00:17:18.355 --> 00:17:21.155
Joke. There won't be one.
316
00:17:21.195 --> 00:17:22.275
This is it.
317
00:17:31.795 --> 00:17:34.355
You'll have to meet the partners.
318
00:17:34.395 --> 00:17:36.350
Of course.
319
00:17:40.315 --> 00:17:42.555
Tell people team meeting in five.
320
00:17:42.595 --> 00:17:43.875
Do you want tea?
321
00:17:43.915 --> 00:17:45.515
No, I fancy a coffee.
322
00:17:45.555 --> 00:17:49.275
Like one of those really
wanky ones from downstairs.
323
00:17:49.715 --> 00:17:52.350
OK, yeah.
324
00:17:52.750 --> 00:17:54.115
Yeah, I can do that.
325
00:17:54.155 --> 00:17:55.675
Um, maybe from somewhere else, though?
326
00:17:55.715 --> 00:17:58.555
Actually, let's have it
down there. Change of scene.
327
00:17:58.595 --> 00:18:02.750
Or maybe we could just go somewhere
else, because it is technically
328
00:18:02.115 --> 00:18:04.875
the same building, so if you
wanted that change of scene...
329
00:18:04.915 --> 00:18:06.275
I can't be arsed walking.
330
00:18:06.315 --> 00:18:08.235
- Mm-hm.
- Mm-hm.
331
00:18:13.955 --> 00:18:16.675
When am I getting your celibacy piece?
332
00:18:16.715 --> 00:18:18.235
I've got a flat white.
333
00:18:18.275 --> 00:18:20.155
You can just leave them there, thanks.
334
00:18:20.195 --> 00:18:21.475
All right.
335
00:18:21.515 --> 00:18:24.515
I've got a potential ping on
this podcast, if I can actually
336
00:18:24.555 --> 00:18:26.315
get a one-to-one with her.
337
00:18:26.355 --> 00:18:28.275
Nancy Velgaro?
338
00:18:28.315 --> 00:18:30.811
She's playing hard to get, which
is fine, because she's probably busy
339
00:18:30.835 --> 00:18:32.995
progressing the role
of women in society.
340
00:18:33.350 --> 00:18:34.475
She's, kind of, brilliant.
341
00:18:34.515 --> 00:18:36.750
So, I'll get the nun piece
342
00:18:36.115 --> 00:18:38.235
the morning after
you've shagged her, then?
343
00:18:38.275 --> 00:18:40.235
It's professional admiration.
344
00:18:40.275 --> 00:18:43.795
Oh, shit, sorry, sorry, sorry.
345
00:18:43.835 --> 00:18:46.555
I've got it, I've got it.
346
00:18:46.595 --> 00:18:48.395
I'll get you another one.
347
00:18:52.995 --> 00:18:55.595
Cortado.
348
00:18:55.635 --> 00:18:57.355
I said a tea.
349
00:18:57.395 --> 00:18:58.755
Surprise.
350
00:18:59.795 --> 00:19:02.350
Well, somebody's got a fan.
351
00:19:03.395 --> 00:19:05.875
- No.
- Well, don't ask him for a loyalty card,
352
00:19:05.915 --> 00:19:09.155
'cos was the last intern did
and she ended up with an STD.
353
00:19:12.515 --> 00:19:14.515
I might just switch this for a tea.
354
00:19:14.555 --> 00:19:16.115
And get a cloth.
355
00:19:19.595 --> 00:19:22.115
G'day.
356
00:19:22.155 --> 00:19:25.750
Could you tone it down
a bit? 'Cos I'm at work.
357
00:19:25.115 --> 00:19:26.355
Oh, OK.
358
00:19:26.395 --> 00:19:27.494
- OK?
- OK, yeah.
359
00:19:27.495 --> 00:19:29.595
- Thank you.
- Wait, wait.
360
00:19:29.635 --> 00:19:32.475
- What?
- What are you doing after this?
361
00:19:32.515 --> 00:19:33.891
I was just going to have a night in.
362
00:19:33.915 --> 00:19:35.755
Sounds perfect.
363
00:19:35.795 --> 00:19:37.435
I could cook.
364
00:19:40.115 --> 00:19:41.635
I meant at my house.
365
00:19:41.675 --> 00:19:43.195
Thanks, though.
366
00:19:44.555 --> 00:19:45.835
Sorry, have I done something?
367
00:19:45.875 --> 00:19:47.350
What? No.
368
00:19:47.750 --> 00:19:49.435
What's changed since this morning?
369
00:19:49.475 --> 00:19:51.600
- Nothing.
- Just seemed like this morning
370
00:19:51.610 --> 00:19:53.475
you were really into it
and now you're just...
371
00:19:53.515 --> 00:19:54.715
... not.
372
00:19:54.755 --> 00:19:56.635
Did I say I wasn't into it?
373
00:19:56.675 --> 00:20:00.835
I just said I can't do
tonight, maybe another time.
374
00:20:00.875 --> 00:20:03.795
- Maybe?
- Yeah.
375
00:20:03.835 --> 00:20:05.155
Well, OK.
376
00:20:07.750 --> 00:20:08.915
Yeah.
377
00:20:09.995 --> 00:20:11.635
I knew you'd be like this, actually.
378
00:20:11.675 --> 00:20:13.435
'Cos, um...
379
00:20:13.475 --> 00:20:16.555
... you're so good-looking.
380
00:20:16.595 --> 00:20:18.235
We went on A date.
381
00:20:18.275 --> 00:20:19.755
We made love, Marnie.
382
00:20:22.875 --> 00:20:25.395
No, we didn't.
383
00:20:25.435 --> 00:20:26.675
We had sex.
384
00:20:26.715 --> 00:20:28.235
That's all, just sex.
385
00:20:28.275 --> 00:20:29.835
And it's finished.
386
00:20:31.635 --> 00:20:33.715
And can I get a cloth?
387
00:20:33.755 --> 00:20:34.955
Please.
388
00:20:37.115 --> 00:20:38.395
Fucking slut.
389
00:20:38.435 --> 00:20:39.595
What?
390
00:20:57.595 --> 00:21:00.555
Cloth.
391
00:21:00.595 --> 00:21:04.395
Some... interesting thoughts, there.
392
00:21:08.555 --> 00:21:09.795
Do they know we had sex?
393
00:21:09.835 --> 00:21:11.750
Can they smell it off my hair?
394
00:21:11.115 --> 00:21:12.315
Do they think I'm a skank?
395
00:21:12.355 --> 00:21:14.955
I'm having an intrusive thought.
396
00:21:14.995 --> 00:21:17.155
I'm having an intrusive thought.
397
00:21:17.195 --> 00:21:19.750
I'm having an intrusive thought.
398
00:21:21.195 --> 00:21:23.515
Amber, Joe, can we have that chat?
399
00:21:23.555 --> 00:21:27.555
It's a meeting about
how inappropriate I am.
400
00:21:27.595 --> 00:21:29.731
I've tried to do sexual things
with three different people
401
00:21:29.755 --> 00:21:31.915
in this building in the space of a week.
402
00:21:31.955 --> 00:21:33.435
Fuck, that's sexual harassment.
403
00:21:35.235 --> 00:21:37.750
Am I the office lech?
404
00:21:37.115 --> 00:21:39.795
I think like one, and I act like one.
405
00:21:39.835 --> 00:21:42.795
If I get the sack, it's proof I am one.
406
00:21:42.835 --> 00:21:45.275
What is going on with your chin?
407
00:21:45.315 --> 00:21:47.275
She thinks it's an STD.
408
00:21:48.915 --> 00:21:50.875
Shut up!
409
00:22:00.995 --> 00:22:03.595
I'm having an intrusive thought.
410
00:22:03.635 --> 00:22:07.750
But I'm the one having it,
so it must be my thought.
411
00:22:07.115 --> 00:22:09.355
What if I don't have OCD?
412
00:22:09.395 --> 00:22:14.435
What if I am a sex pest and it's
just an excuse for me to perv?
413
00:22:14.475 --> 00:22:15.835
Moira!
414
00:22:15.875 --> 00:22:18.235
You need to take the
clothes like I told you to.
415
00:22:18.275 --> 00:22:19.875
Yeah, I know, sorry, I'm doing it now.
416
00:22:19.915 --> 00:22:22.635
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
417
00:22:23.795 --> 00:22:25.155
Moira.
418
00:22:26.555 --> 00:22:27.955
Where did you find this one?
419
00:22:27.995 --> 00:22:29.115
I said LinkedIn.
420
00:22:29.155 --> 00:22:31.795
- What's the problem?
- Ask her. What were you doing?
421
00:22:31.835 --> 00:22:33.995
- Not what she thinks.
- I think she was drinking.
422
00:22:34.350 --> 00:22:37.475
- Babe, at work?
- Is there something wrong with you?
423
00:22:42.795 --> 00:22:44.595
I don't know.
424
00:22:44.635 --> 00:22:46.350
Maybe I'm mental?
425
00:22:49.675 --> 00:22:52.955
I know you all think I'm some
sort of nympho, but I'm not.
426
00:22:52.995 --> 00:22:54.624
I'm a normal woman with sexual needs,
427
00:22:54.625 --> 00:22:56.211
and I shouldn't have
to apologise for it.
428
00:22:56.235 --> 00:22:59.675
- Babe...
- But sorry for having sex with the barista.
429
00:22:59.715 --> 00:23:02.750
Sorry for technically
shagging my way here.
430
00:23:02.115 --> 00:23:04.441
- Oh, uh...
- Sorry for asking out a co-worker,
431
00:23:04.442 --> 00:23:05.611
even though he's got a girlfriend.
432
00:23:05.635 --> 00:23:09.515
Just trying to be nice. But,
oh, no. Suddenly I'm a pervert.
433
00:23:09.555 --> 00:23:12.755
Well, you're slut-shaming.
434
00:23:12.795 --> 00:23:15.115
- Come with me for a walk, for, like, five minutes...
- No!
435
00:23:15.155 --> 00:23:17.115
You don't know what I need!
436
00:23:17.155 --> 00:23:18.875
You don't know me.
437
00:23:18.915 --> 00:23:20.435
You have not been inside me.
438
00:23:20.475 --> 00:23:22.875
You don't know what I'm like.
439
00:23:22.915 --> 00:23:29.750
So, fuck this, I'm not taking this,
treating me like the office lech.
440
00:23:29.115 --> 00:23:30.875
Like I'm dirty.
441
00:23:30.915 --> 00:23:32.235
Disgusting.
442
00:23:32.275 --> 00:23:33.515
What are you doing?
443
00:23:33.555 --> 00:23:37.395
Leaving. I wouldn't work here
if you paid me, which you don't.
444
00:23:37.435 --> 00:23:41.795
In fact, working here has
actually cost me ã63.72.
445
00:23:41.835 --> 00:23:44.395
If you go now, that's it.
446
00:23:44.435 --> 00:23:45.635
Good.
447
00:23:45.675 --> 00:23:48.515
I know that's it, 'cos I'm saying that.
448
00:23:48.555 --> 00:23:49.755
That's what I said.
449
00:23:49.795 --> 00:23:52.155
You totally stole that top, as well.
450
00:23:52.195 --> 00:23:53.515
What, this?
451
00:23:53.555 --> 00:23:55.350
Do you want it, Steph?
452
00:23:55.750 --> 00:23:56.235
Here.
453
00:23:56.275 --> 00:23:58.555
You can have it.
454
00:23:58.595 --> 00:24:02.875
And I'm taking these,
'cos I bought them.
455
00:24:02.915 --> 00:24:05.155
Marnie, out!
456
00:24:18.825 --> 00:24:20.585
Oh, hi!
457
00:24:20.625 --> 00:24:21.705
Flora, wow.
458
00:24:22.985 --> 00:24:24.665
Hi.
459
00:24:24.705 --> 00:24:25.705
Charlie.
460
00:24:25.745 --> 00:24:27.985
Oh, my God.
461
00:24:28.250 --> 00:24:29.250
Erm...
462
00:24:29.650 --> 00:24:30.145
Sef, can you maybe?
463
00:24:30.185 --> 00:24:32.625
I have to feed the cat anyway, so...
464
00:24:32.665 --> 00:24:34.905
They remember if you don't.
465
00:24:38.465 --> 00:24:40.305
- So, you two are...
- Flatmates.
466
00:24:40.345 --> 00:24:43.505
- Ah, great, yes.
- Couldn't afford the rent on my own.
467
00:24:43.545 --> 00:24:45.465
A two bed in Shoreditch, are you joking?
468
00:24:45.505 --> 00:24:48.905
- It's good that you've got someone, that's...
- Yeah, he's, er...
469
00:24:48.945 --> 00:24:51.625
... pretty fucking irritating, actually.
470
00:24:51.665 --> 00:24:53.665
Knives, blade up in the dishwasher.
471
00:24:53.705 --> 00:24:57.225
- Sociopath!
- Uses my butter, doesn't recycle...
472
00:24:57.265 --> 00:25:00.250
'Cos I was, like, "He's
attractive. I don't have a chance."
473
00:25:00.650 --> 00:25:01.785
And now, I'm like, "Oh, maybe I do!"
474
00:25:05.905 --> 00:25:07.945
How've you been, anyway?
You look really...
475
00:25:07.985 --> 00:25:09.425
Sober?
476
00:25:09.465 --> 00:25:11.185
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
477
00:25:11.225 --> 00:25:13.345
I said in my... in my text.
478
00:25:17.385 --> 00:25:18.625
I didn't know what to say.
479
00:25:21.465 --> 00:25:23.785
So, can we talk?
480
00:25:23.825 --> 00:25:26.505
I mean, I know we're
talking, but, like, talk-talk,
481
00:25:26.545 --> 00:25:29.425
like we said we would
after it had been a year?
482
00:25:29.465 --> 00:25:31.105
It's been a year.
483
00:25:31.145 --> 00:25:33.785
365 days!
484
00:25:33.825 --> 00:25:35.225
Aargh!
485
00:25:35.265 --> 00:25:36.745
No, that's great.
486
00:25:36.785 --> 00:25:37.865
You're great.
487
00:25:37.905 --> 00:25:38.905
Willpower!
488
00:25:46.265 --> 00:25:48.345
The thing is...
489
00:25:48.385 --> 00:25:50.905
... every one of those days was for you.
490
00:25:50.945 --> 00:25:53.265
So, there's that.
491
00:25:57.425 --> 00:25:58.545
Yeah...
492
00:25:59.825 --> 00:26:01.625
Yeah.
493
00:26:04.250 --> 00:26:06.465
I don't know if that's where...
494
00:26:06.505 --> 00:26:08.625
... I'm at, right now.
495
00:26:10.745 --> 00:26:13.185
For me, you know...
496
00:26:13.225 --> 00:26:14.425
Emotionally.
497
00:26:18.505 --> 00:26:20.305
- Right.
- I'm sorry.
498
00:26:25.625 --> 00:26:28.185
But it's great... it's good
that you're doing so well.
499
00:26:30.185 --> 00:26:31.425
Yeah, yeah, no, I am, I am.
500
00:26:32.985 --> 00:26:36.265
I just wanted to make sure
that you weren't, you know,
501
00:26:36.305 --> 00:26:37.625
counting the days.
502
00:26:40.545 --> 00:26:42.305
We should catch up.
503
00:26:42.345 --> 00:26:45.705
You know what? I'm super
busy at the moment, so...
504
00:26:47.105 --> 00:26:48.385
Another time?
505
00:26:51.265 --> 00:26:53.425
It was really nice to see you.
506
00:26:53.465 --> 00:26:54.625
Yeah, just...
507
00:26:58.145 --> 00:27:00.265
Fuck's sake!
508
00:27:22.185 --> 00:27:23.825
Oh, God.
509
00:27:40.665 --> 00:27:43.985
- You all right, mate?
- Hey, you all right?
510
00:27:47.265 --> 00:27:48.265
Hello.
511
00:27:48.305 --> 00:27:49.505
What are you up to?
512
00:27:49.545 --> 00:27:52.265
I'm in an average pub on my own.
513
00:27:52.305 --> 00:27:54.961
- You still up for doing something?
- Uh, yeah, that's why I called,
514
00:27:54.985 --> 00:27:57.145
'cos someone's got to celebrate.
515
00:27:57.185 --> 00:27:59.145
Like, do you want to come to mine?
516
00:27:59.185 --> 00:28:02.665
Ooh, getting a tour of
the old palace, the old...
517
00:28:02.705 --> 00:28:05.225
... family pile, the old...
518
00:28:05.265 --> 00:28:07.650
... where you live!
519
00:28:07.105 --> 00:28:08.425
I'll text you the address.
520
00:28:10.425 --> 00:28:12.105
All right, bye.
521
00:28:32.145 --> 00:28:33.945
- Oi oi, how's your father?
- There she is!
522
00:28:33.985 --> 00:28:36.665
Bring it in for me, love, that's it.
523
00:28:36.705 --> 00:28:37.945
You all right?
524
00:28:37.985 --> 00:28:38.985
Wilkommen!
525
00:28:40.650 --> 00:28:41.505
Didn't know you were posh.
526
00:28:41.545 --> 00:28:42.905
No, parents.
527
00:28:42.945 --> 00:28:46.650
They're at their place in
France so I get the run of this.
528
00:28:46.105 --> 00:28:47.945
Drink?
529
00:28:53.385 --> 00:28:54.865
Are they famous or something?
530
00:28:56.305 --> 00:28:58.785
My mum was in Midsomer Murders.
531
00:28:58.825 --> 00:29:00.825
It's my dad, he's in music.
532
00:29:00.865 --> 00:29:05.105
He doesn't play it, he just takes
credit for other people, so...
533
00:29:05.145 --> 00:29:08.250
All right, what can I get you, madame?
534
00:29:08.650 --> 00:29:09.425
Um...
535
00:29:09.465 --> 00:29:10.785
... whisky.
536
00:29:10.825 --> 00:29:12.250
That one.
537
00:29:12.650 --> 00:29:13.705
600 quid a bottle.
538
00:29:13.745 --> 00:29:15.305
Or something else is fine.
539
00:29:15.345 --> 00:29:17.250
No, this'll do.
540
00:29:17.650 --> 00:29:18.345
Will your dad not mind?
541
00:29:18.385 --> 00:29:19.985
He won't notice.
542
00:29:20.250 --> 00:29:21.385
Thanks, Howard.
543
00:29:25.665 --> 00:29:27.465
Oh!
544
00:29:27.505 --> 00:29:29.505
Congratulations!
545
00:29:29.545 --> 00:29:31.105
A year is ages.
546
00:29:31.145 --> 00:29:32.145
Cheers.
547
00:29:33.625 --> 00:29:35.650
Yay!
548
00:29:42.625 --> 00:29:43.625
Délicieux !
549
00:29:56.705 --> 00:29:57.745
No, I'm really...
550
00:29:58.785 --> 00:30:00.945
I'm really glad you came.
551
00:30:00.985 --> 00:30:02.145
Me, too.
552
00:30:14.250 --> 00:30:15.105
Are you OK?
553
00:30:16.665 --> 00:30:18.785
Mm...
554
00:30:18.825 --> 00:30:20.225
Charlie?
555
00:30:20.265 --> 00:30:22.265
Yeah, yeah, I'm...
556
00:30:28.345 --> 00:30:30.305
I'm fine.
557
00:30:30.345 --> 00:30:31.425
Thanks.
558
00:30:38.650 --> 00:30:40.825
Oh, come here.
559
00:30:42.505 --> 00:30:43.505
Thanks.
560
00:31:32.185 --> 00:31:35.185
I just... I've just got to...
561
00:31:36.745 --> 00:31:40.905
- Shall I?
- No, no, just give me... just give me a second.
562
00:31:40.945 --> 00:31:42.905
Give me a second.
563
00:31:42.945 --> 00:31:44.105
Give me a second.
564
00:31:50.905 --> 00:31:52.665
It's OK, we don't have to.
565
00:31:54.745 --> 00:31:55.945
Yeah, we do... come on.
566
00:31:58.985 --> 00:32:00.250
Oh...
567
00:32:01.385 --> 00:32:02.865
Fuck!
568
00:32:14.505 --> 00:32:15.705
Can you just, erm...
569
00:32:15.745 --> 00:32:16.945
can you just go, please?
570
00:32:18.305 --> 00:32:20.265
What?
571
00:32:20.305 --> 00:32:21.345
Can you just get out?
572
00:32:31.745 --> 00:32:33.105
Get OUT!
573
00:33:01.945 --> 00:33:04.545
Oh, how is your vagina?
574
00:33:06.905 --> 00:33:08.265
Are you OK?
575
00:33:08.305 --> 00:33:09.385
You been drinking again?
576
00:33:09.425 --> 00:33:11.625
Yeah, I've been drinking
'cos it's fucking fun.
577
00:33:11.665 --> 00:33:12.705
It doesn't look like fun.
578
00:33:12.745 --> 00:33:15.505
Trampolining is fun, or
singing or bank holidays,
579
00:33:15.545 --> 00:33:17.785
- eating cereal straight out of the box...
- Sh!
580
00:33:17.825 --> 00:33:19.505
Stop it, Shereen!
581
00:33:19.545 --> 00:33:20.545
STOP!
582
00:33:39.785 --> 00:33:40.945
It was just a quick tidy.
583
00:34:04.665 --> 00:34:06.265
Everything's...
584
00:34:06.305 --> 00:34:07.705
Everything's been a...
585
00:34:09.225 --> 00:34:11.665
I need help, Shereen, or
I'm going to spin away.
586
00:34:11.705 --> 00:34:14.105
I don't want to spin away...
587
00:34:14.145 --> 00:34:16.945
You won't, you won't, you won't.
588
00:34:16.985 --> 00:34:18.665
Listen.
589
00:34:18.705 --> 00:34:19.785
You won't, because I'm...
590
00:34:19.825 --> 00:34:21.225
Look, I've got you, OK?
591
00:34:23.105 --> 00:34:24.705
I've got you, come here.
592
00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:42.000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
40808
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