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1
00:00:03,693 --> 00:00:04,693
-Hey!
-MAN: Whoa!
2
00:00:04,776 --> 00:00:06,776
-I'm back.
-I don't care.
3
00:00:06,859 --> 00:00:08,359
PETE HOLMES: I didn't mean
to break up with you
4
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:10,275
on a street corner.
Sorry.
5
00:00:10,359 --> 00:00:11,943
I kinda felt it that time.
6
00:00:12,025 --> 00:00:13,901
Congrats on being a human being.
7
00:00:14,693 --> 00:00:16,693
PETE: Even getting an audition
at The Cellar
8
00:00:16,776 --> 00:00:18,025
is a really, really big deal.
9
00:00:18,109 --> 00:00:19,067
The right people see me,
10
00:00:19,150 --> 00:00:21,109
maybe I tour,
maybe I open for somebody.
11
00:00:21,192 --> 00:00:22,651
-MC: Pete Holmes!
-(AUDIENCE CHEERS)
12
00:00:22,734 --> 00:00:24,192
-You guys pee in the pool?
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
13
00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:26,192
It is one of the truest
acts of freedom
14
00:00:26,275 --> 00:00:28,859
to stand three feet away
from a stranger, just like,
15
00:00:28,943 --> 00:00:30,526
-"What's going on?"
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
16
00:00:30,609 --> 00:00:33,192
Thank you, Cellar! Whoo!
Thank you.
17
00:00:33,651 --> 00:00:36,109
(SINGING)
That was a good set.
18
00:00:36,734 --> 00:00:39,192
You're not ready.
I have plenty of white guys
19
00:00:39,275 --> 00:00:40,442
talking about nothing.
20
00:00:48,401 --> 00:00:50,901
(laughter, cheers)
21
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,484
I was on a train once,
man, and, uh,
22
00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:55,567
this kid hopped on the train
with a box of candy.
23
00:00:55,651 --> 00:00:57,859
And he looked at everybody
and was like, "Hey everybody!
24
00:00:57,943 --> 00:00:59,275
My name's Reggie.
25
00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:00,484
I'm raising money
26
00:01:00,567 --> 00:01:02,609
for my community center-- I am.
27
00:01:02,693 --> 00:01:05,734
It'd mean a lot if you just,
you know, help me out,
28
00:01:05,818 --> 00:01:07,984
with whatever you got,
it would mean a lot.
29
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,734
Man, no one gave him
any money, nobody.
30
00:01:10,818 --> 00:01:11,984
I know, it's pretty sad!
31
00:01:12,067 --> 00:01:13,567
Honest kid, trying to
make a living, you know?
32
00:01:13,651 --> 00:01:15,401
And he was doing
something charitable, right?
33
00:01:15,484 --> 00:01:16,901
And that's when he got mad.
34
00:01:16,984 --> 00:01:18,442
He was like, "You know what?
35
00:01:18,526 --> 00:01:21,025
I could be out killing
y'all, but I'm not!"
36
00:01:21,109 --> 00:01:23,067
And then everybody
pulled out money.
37
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,067
They were like, "All right,
you can have it."
38
00:01:25,150 --> 00:01:26,943
And he was like, "Nah,
it's too late! It's too late!
39
00:01:27,025 --> 00:01:29,526
"Nah, the Twizzler
Strangler's back!
40
00:01:29,609 --> 00:01:31,901
-(laughter)
-You had your chance!
41
00:01:31,984 --> 00:01:34,359
-(cheers and applause)
-Thank you guys so much
42
00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:36,734
for coming to the latest
installment of Dirty Loads.
43
00:01:36,818 --> 00:01:38,109
I'm your host, Russell.
44
00:01:38,192 --> 00:01:39,859
Your next comic coming
to the stage is hilarious.
45
00:01:39,943 --> 00:01:41,359
You probably seen him
around the city.
46
00:01:41,442 --> 00:01:44,609
Put your hands together
for Solomon Georgio!
47
00:01:44,693 --> 00:01:48,109
(cheers and applause)
48
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:51,150
Russell, everybody!
Give it up for ya host tonight.
49
00:01:51,234 --> 00:01:53,526
Isn't that perfect? Ha!
50
00:01:53,609 --> 00:01:56,651
Ah, first thing you should
know about me, uh,
51
00:01:56,734 --> 00:01:58,401
is that I am gay as hell.
52
00:01:58,484 --> 00:01:59,734
(laughter)
53
00:01:59,818 --> 00:02:01,067
Thank you.
I'm great at it.
54
00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:02,818
-What's up, man?
-How you been?
55
00:02:02,901 --> 00:02:06,025
-What's going on?
-Oh, great! How's
college life, man?
56
00:02:06,109 --> 00:02:08,484
Good, you know,
it was good.
57
00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:10,401
-Yeah, man.
-Yeah.
58
00:02:10,484 --> 00:02:12,025
This is you?
This is incredible!
59
00:02:12,109 --> 00:02:14,818
This is my show, man.
It started off really,
really small.
60
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:17,192
Then, it just grew.
Look at all these people.
61
00:02:17,275 --> 00:02:19,192
They brought
their own beer, man.
62
00:02:19,275 --> 00:02:22,818
Straight men that don't eat
pussy are the gayest thing...
63
00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:24,776
(laughter)
64
00:02:26,317 --> 00:02:29,109
...in the whole wide world!
65
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:31,317
You know, since I've
been back, it's been--
66
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,192
it's been a little light,
you know? I'd love to--
67
00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:35,609
if you have room tonight--
68
00:02:35,693 --> 00:02:37,359
I'd jump up
in a heartbeat, you know?
69
00:02:37,442 --> 00:02:39,693
Yeah, I would love
to put you on, too,
70
00:02:39,776 --> 00:02:43,109
but I'm completely booked
for the whole night, man.
71
00:02:43,192 --> 00:02:44,442
Uh, look,
72
00:02:44,526 --> 00:02:46,484
two or three months,
I got you, all right?
73
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,359
-Okay. You got my number?
-I'll see you around.
74
00:02:48,442 --> 00:02:50,192
-I got your number!
-All right, cool.
75
00:02:50,275 --> 00:02:52,275
(cheers and applause)
76
00:02:54,859 --> 00:02:56,651
I know what you guys
are saying. "Greg,"
77
00:02:56,734 --> 00:02:59,943
talk about trickle-down
economics." Well...
78
00:03:00,025 --> 00:03:02,025
Here's the thing...
(continues indistinctly)
79
00:03:02,109 --> 00:03:03,275
Hey, Pete!
80
00:03:03,359 --> 00:03:05,818
-Elon Gold. What's up?
-Oh. Yeah, hey.
81
00:03:05,901 --> 00:03:07,984
I saw you at The Cellar
last night.
82
00:03:08,067 --> 00:03:10,359
Yeah, I saw you.
You fucking killed.
83
00:03:10,442 --> 00:03:12,818
It was, like-- I can't believe
Estee didn't pass you.
84
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,567
That was, like, a solid set.
85
00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:16,401
Wow, thank you.
86
00:03:16,484 --> 00:03:18,234
I'm doing a...
I'm doing a gig
87
00:03:18,317 --> 00:03:20,693
that I think you'd
be perfect for.
88
00:03:20,776 --> 00:03:23,776
-Yes. I'm open to anything.
-Would you?
89
00:03:23,859 --> 00:03:26,859
It's a shul, synagogue.
It's a temple event.
90
00:03:26,943 --> 00:03:30,067
-Oh, I'm not Jewish.
-They won't care.
91
00:03:30,150 --> 00:03:31,609
They'll like you
even more.
92
00:03:31,693 --> 00:03:34,526
But do it. Just e-mail me,
and I'll get you the details,
93
00:03:34,609 --> 00:03:38,859
-and it'll be great.
-Sure, yeah.
I'll e-mohel you.
94
00:03:38,943 --> 00:03:42,025
That's an e-mail where
you cut off the subject.
95
00:03:42,693 --> 00:03:46,901
-Don't do that
at the show.
-I'm sorry.
96
00:03:46,984 --> 00:03:48,484
Mazel!
97
00:03:48,984 --> 00:03:51,359
♪ ♪
98
00:03:53,818 --> 00:03:55,192
Thank you.
99
00:03:57,234 --> 00:03:58,275
I'd bring back, um,
100
00:03:58,359 --> 00:04:00,484
what you left at my place,
but, you know...
101
00:04:00,567 --> 00:04:03,025
You didn't have a place.
102
00:04:03,526 --> 00:04:06,609
Yeah, no place.
I have a place now.
103
00:04:06,693 --> 00:04:10,484
Mm. That's cool.
That's great.
104
00:04:11,025 --> 00:04:13,067
Um, shit, so,
105
00:04:13,150 --> 00:04:16,275
I don't think I told you this,
but I'm actually, um,
106
00:04:16,359 --> 00:04:19,150
I'm seeing someone,
someone I met at work.
107
00:04:19,901 --> 00:04:21,526
Is he your boss?
108
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:23,192
No, he's not my boss.
109
00:04:23,275 --> 00:04:25,901
-He's right here. Hi.
-Hey, babe.
110
00:04:25,984 --> 00:04:27,609
-How's it going?
-Um, ooh!
111
00:04:27,693 --> 00:04:30,150
Uh, Ted, this is
my friend, Pete.
112
00:04:30,234 --> 00:04:31,526
Hiya, Ned.
113
00:04:31,609 --> 00:04:34,526
-Yeah, I'm Ted,
like the talks.
-(Ali chuckles)
114
00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:36,943
Yeah, I've heard of them.
115
00:04:37,025 --> 00:04:39,067
If you guys have a minute,
I'd love to just
116
00:04:39,150 --> 00:04:40,401
stand on a red dot,
117
00:04:40,484 --> 00:04:43,359
and tell you about the hidden
power of introverts.
118
00:04:44,109 --> 00:04:46,359
He has such a dry
sense of humor.
119
00:04:47,150 --> 00:04:48,442
Well, nice to meet you.
I'm-- yeah.
120
00:04:48,526 --> 00:04:50,109
Pete and I, um, yeah--
121
00:04:50,192 --> 00:04:51,651
Me and Pete, we do
comedy together.
122
00:04:51,734 --> 00:04:53,192
-Stand-up.
-Ted: Oh.
123
00:04:53,275 --> 00:04:56,109
Did you tell him
about Seth Myers?
124
00:04:57,234 --> 00:05:00,275
You're doing Seth--
Are you doing Late Night?
125
00:05:00,359 --> 00:05:02,359
Yes. Yeah.
126
00:05:02,442 --> 00:05:06,651
-Tell him how it happened.
-Oh, um, it was kind of crazy.
127
00:05:06,734 --> 00:05:08,693
I was performing
at The Comedy Cellar,
128
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,484
and, um, the bookers were
just, like, in the audience.
129
00:05:11,567 --> 00:05:13,317
Ted:
It was so funny.
130
00:05:13,901 --> 00:05:16,818
-Is that cookie for me?
-Oh, for both of you.
131
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:19,192
Uh, yeah, once I put
the cookie on the table,
132
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:21,025
it's anyone's ball game.
133
00:05:21,109 --> 00:05:24,109
-Are those raisins?
-Am I a monster?
134
00:05:24,192 --> 00:05:27,234
-This is a hundred percent
chocolate chip.
-You!
135
00:05:27,317 --> 00:05:29,567
-I'll see you upstairs?
-Okay.
136
00:05:29,651 --> 00:05:32,109
Pete, nice to meet you.
137
00:05:33,609 --> 00:05:34,526
Shit.
138
00:05:34,609 --> 00:05:36,234
I know, he's so great.
139
00:05:36,317 --> 00:05:39,192
Yeah, he's dreamy.
I'm talking about Seth Myers.
140
00:05:39,275 --> 00:05:42,025
-You're doing Late Night?
-It's not that big of a deal.
141
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:44,401
-It's a big deal.
-No, it's not.
142
00:05:44,484 --> 00:05:47,442
It's huge,
and you deserve it.
143
00:05:49,567 --> 00:05:52,651
What's with that jacket?
Who gave that to you?
144
00:05:52,734 --> 00:05:54,234
G.I. Joey Fatone?
145
00:05:54,317 --> 00:05:55,984
-We back...?
-On the jacket.
146
00:05:56,067 --> 00:05:58,234
We're back on the jacket,
yeah. Yep, yep, yep.
147
00:05:58,317 --> 00:06:01,025
Good, good.
Fresh topic. Hot topic.
148
00:06:01,109 --> 00:06:03,442
♪ ♪
149
00:06:04,776 --> 00:06:06,818
Excuse me, uh, miss?
150
00:06:06,901 --> 00:06:09,693
Hi. I'd like to return
this jacket.
151
00:06:09,776 --> 00:06:11,776
I'll get the manager.
152
00:06:19,109 --> 00:06:21,484
That's why people shop online.
153
00:06:23,275 --> 00:06:25,109
Why are you returning that?
154
00:06:25,442 --> 00:06:28,317
-Uh, mockery, mostly.
-Mm.
155
00:06:28,401 --> 00:06:30,442
Every time I wear it,
people make fun of me.
156
00:06:30,526 --> 00:06:31,859
A friend of mine
told me I look like
157
00:06:31,943 --> 00:06:33,651
I manage the band Hanson.
158
00:06:34,234 --> 00:06:35,442
I love Hanson.
159
00:06:35,526 --> 00:06:36,901
I also love Hanson.
160
00:06:36,984 --> 00:06:39,067
I don't think that's--
Everybody loves Hanson.
161
00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:40,984
-Some people just
don't admit it.
-Yeah.
162
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,984
Show me someone who watched
Hanson and was like,
163
00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:44,818
"What a bunch of tools."
164
00:06:46,401 --> 00:06:47,943
Let me see that on you.
165
00:06:49,484 --> 00:06:51,567
-Right now?
-Yeah.
166
00:06:51,651 --> 00:06:53,442
All right.
167
00:06:55,150 --> 00:06:57,109
All right, guys,
"Mm-bop" from the top.
168
00:06:57,192 --> 00:06:58,859
That's
a good jacket.
169
00:06:58,943 --> 00:07:01,776
-Really?
-It looks good on you.
Yeah, it like, suits you.
170
00:07:01,859 --> 00:07:03,317
You should keep it.
171
00:07:03,401 --> 00:07:05,609
-Seriously?
-Yeah, I think so.
172
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:08,526
Just keep it.
Yeah.
173
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:11,776
Don't, uh-- I want
to try something.
174
00:07:11,859 --> 00:07:13,275
Don't tell me your name.
175
00:07:13,359 --> 00:07:15,442
-I wasn't planning on it.
-Yeah, well, good.
176
00:07:15,526 --> 00:07:17,109
-Okay. Okay.
-Stay with that.
177
00:07:17,192 --> 00:07:19,109
This is weird.
I'm a little bit psychic.
178
00:07:19,192 --> 00:07:21,150
-No kidding. Okay.
-Yeah, I am.
179
00:07:21,234 --> 00:07:22,317
Ever since
I bought the jacket,
180
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,901
powers have been
coming to me.
181
00:07:23,984 --> 00:07:26,901
-Right.
-Your, your name--
don't tell me...
182
00:07:26,984 --> 00:07:29,275
-Okay.
-...is Linda?
183
00:07:29,359 --> 00:07:31,442
-No. Oh, I'm sorry.
-Don't--
184
00:07:31,526 --> 00:07:32,943
-Not till I'm done.
-Okay.
185
00:07:33,025 --> 00:07:34,109
Your name is Linda,
186
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:36,275
your mother's name is Belinda,
187
00:07:36,359 --> 00:07:42,025
and you have two sisters:
Flan and Darren.
188
00:07:43,567 --> 00:07:46,275
-You... nailed it. Yeah.
-Did I?
189
00:07:46,359 --> 00:07:48,984
It's a gift, it's a curse--
It's a gift.
190
00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:50,859
What did you say
your name was?
191
00:07:50,943 --> 00:07:52,359
Dan...? Dank?
192
00:07:52,442 --> 00:07:54,984
-You're guessing
my name now?
-Yeah. Is it Dank?
193
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:57,943
-And you're pronouncing
it correctly, too.
-(laughs)
194
00:07:58,025 --> 00:08:00,776
-Nice to meet you, Linda.
-Hi, Dank. Linda.
195
00:08:01,859 --> 00:08:03,943
Do you want to
get a coffee with me?
196
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,150
♪ ♪
197
00:08:06,234 --> 00:08:08,734
I don't. I don't
normally drink coffee.
198
00:08:08,818 --> 00:08:10,693
-Oh yeah?
-Nope.
199
00:08:10,776 --> 00:08:12,401
I run on anxiety.
200
00:08:14,442 --> 00:08:17,150
I hope this isn't a shock,
but I'm a-- I do stand-up.
201
00:08:17,234 --> 00:08:18,734
-I'm a comedian.
-Of course!
202
00:08:18,818 --> 00:08:19,901
No, yeah, I do.
203
00:08:19,984 --> 00:08:21,484
-That's cool!
-Is it?
204
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,567
Yeah, that's
a really cool job.
205
00:08:23,651 --> 00:08:25,567
I'm not, like, established.
I'm sort of...
206
00:08:25,651 --> 00:08:26,859
still grinding it out.
207
00:08:26,943 --> 00:08:29,317
I just did
a college tour, um--
208
00:08:29,401 --> 00:08:30,734
I do have a show
tonight, actually.
209
00:08:30,818 --> 00:08:33,150
I'm performing
at a synagogue, so...
210
00:08:33,234 --> 00:08:34,609
-Cool!
-No.
211
00:08:34,693 --> 00:08:37,192
-Not cool?
-I said synagogue,
212
00:08:37,275 --> 00:08:39,401
not-- there's
no word that even
213
00:08:39,484 --> 00:08:40,943
sounds like
synagogue that's cool.
214
00:08:41,025 --> 00:08:43,150
What synagogue?
What temple are you doing?
215
00:08:43,234 --> 00:08:45,859
-Are you Jewish?
-No, but I have a lot
of Jewish friends.
216
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,859
-The Jews love me.
-What are you, whitefish?
217
00:08:47,943 --> 00:08:49,526
(laughing)
218
00:08:49,609 --> 00:08:52,984
See, I'm trying to write
all this Jewish material,
but it just feels racist.
219
00:08:53,609 --> 00:08:55,567
-That one was good.
-Okay.
220
00:08:56,442 --> 00:08:58,984
I don't, um,
I don't know...
221
00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:01,567
I don't know who
I'm having coffee with.
222
00:09:01,651 --> 00:09:03,901
-It's fun, but I don't--
-Yeah, we don't know
each other's names.
223
00:09:03,984 --> 00:09:05,693
-We don't know
each other's real names.
-Yeah.
224
00:09:05,776 --> 00:09:09,234
-It is kind of fun, but--
-We're living in the tension.
225
00:09:09,317 --> 00:09:11,442
Should we ante up?
226
00:09:11,859 --> 00:09:13,609
Should we say our names
at the same time?
227
00:09:13,693 --> 00:09:16,359
-Yeah, okay.
-Three, two, one...
228
00:09:16,442 --> 00:09:17,442
-Pete.
-Kat.
229
00:09:17,526 --> 00:09:18,984
Pete.
230
00:09:19,067 --> 00:09:20,442
-Similar.
-Yeah.
231
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:23,275
-Hard T sound
in the middle.
-Monosyllabic.
232
00:09:23,734 --> 00:09:25,818
Wait, I want to see you
perform some--
233
00:09:25,901 --> 00:09:27,150
What's your last name?
234
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,901
-Holmes, why?
-Do you have stuff
on YouTube?
235
00:09:29,984 --> 00:09:32,693
-Well, yeah, but--
Can we not?
-I want to see you perform.
236
00:09:32,776 --> 00:09:35,192
-Seriously, it's better if--
-Don't be embarrassed.
237
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,109
-If you want
to come see me--
-Don't be embarrassed.
238
00:09:37,192 --> 00:09:39,526
-Just let me-- Okay, I'm
just gonna choose one.
-Okay.
239
00:09:39,609 --> 00:09:40,984
I'm watching one.
240
00:09:42,818 --> 00:09:45,275
Shh! I'm listening.
241
00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:48,234
Okay, great.
242
00:09:51,109 --> 00:09:55,025
-(Kat laughs)
-No, no. Be real.
243
00:09:56,401 --> 00:09:58,859
(laughing)
244
00:10:05,734 --> 00:10:08,526
-What are we doing?
-We're looking for a dress
245
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:11,025
for me to wear
to a bachelorette party tonight.
246
00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:12,567
-Oh. Fun.
-Yeah.
247
00:10:12,651 --> 00:10:14,776
Okay, tell me something else.
248
00:10:14,859 --> 00:10:16,192
-About me?
-Uh-huh.
249
00:10:16,275 --> 00:10:20,609
I just met my ex-girlfriend's
new boyfriend,
250
00:10:20,693 --> 00:10:22,693
-and he's amazing.
-Oh, no!
251
00:10:22,776 --> 00:10:25,401
-Yeah.
-Was that a serious
relationship?
252
00:10:25,484 --> 00:10:27,442
Uh, I mean,
253
00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:30,693
it was the first relationship
I had after my divorce,
254
00:10:30,776 --> 00:10:32,150
so it's like my-- yeah.
255
00:10:32,234 --> 00:10:34,025
My second relationship
ever, so kind of.
256
00:10:34,109 --> 00:10:37,150
-Whoa. How long were
you married?
-Yeah.
257
00:10:37,234 --> 00:10:39,567
-Seven years.
-Who cheated?
258
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,984
She, uh, she did actually.
How did you know that?
259
00:10:45,067 --> 00:10:47,526
Well, I'm an actuary.
That's a statistic,
260
00:10:47,609 --> 00:10:49,943
and, like, that's my job.
You're a statistic.
261
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,734
-No offense.
-No, I like being called
a statistic.
262
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:56,693
-What do you mean?
-It's just-- Okay, so seven
years into a first marriage?
263
00:10:56,776 --> 00:10:58,317
-Yes.
-That's infidelity.
264
00:10:58,401 --> 00:11:00,818
Especially if it lines up with
the prime reproductive years,
265
00:11:00,901 --> 00:11:04,067
which for women is
25 to 29.
266
00:11:04,150 --> 00:11:05,734
She was...
She was 29.
267
00:11:05,818 --> 00:11:07,442
Well, at least
she waited till the end.
268
00:11:07,526 --> 00:11:09,275
Dude. Fuck! What?
That's nuts!
269
00:11:09,359 --> 00:11:10,776
-Yeah!
-That's crazy!
270
00:11:10,859 --> 00:11:12,150
So now my company
would give you
271
00:11:12,234 --> 00:11:13,609
a higher life insurance quote,
272
00:11:13,693 --> 00:11:15,818
because divorced men
live shorter lives
273
00:11:15,901 --> 00:11:17,526
and so you're
higher risk for us.
274
00:11:17,609 --> 00:11:20,693
Oh, great.
I have been feeling sluggish.
275
00:11:20,776 --> 00:11:22,317
Don't worry.
A guy your age--
276
00:11:22,401 --> 00:11:23,401
you just remarry,
277
00:11:23,484 --> 00:11:26,609
and then you'll be
right back at average.
278
00:11:28,234 --> 00:11:29,484
We have a winner.
279
00:11:31,526 --> 00:11:33,859
Will you come help me?
280
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,275
Uh, yeah.
281
00:11:37,234 --> 00:11:39,067
-In there?
-Mmm-hmm.
282
00:11:45,401 --> 00:11:48,109
Okay, turn around please.
283
00:11:48,192 --> 00:11:50,484
It's, like,
a quick little top.
284
00:12:00,651 --> 00:12:05,067
-What are we doing?
-Well, I am trying
on a dress,
285
00:12:05,150 --> 00:12:08,234
and in three seconds,
286
00:12:08,317 --> 00:12:11,818
you're gonna come over
and help me zip it.
287
00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:15,984
-Ready?
-Yeah.
288
00:12:21,150 --> 00:12:23,150
What do you think?
289
00:12:23,234 --> 00:12:25,275
Yeah, that looks amazing.
290
00:12:25,359 --> 00:12:26,859
Yeah?
291
00:12:34,693 --> 00:12:36,818
It's cute, but I think
we can do better.
292
00:12:36,901 --> 00:12:39,025
♪ ♪
293
00:12:40,484 --> 00:12:44,109
♪ There's a weight
in my bed ♪
294
00:12:44,192 --> 00:12:46,943
Not like I could,
but I could give you
a piggy-back ride.
295
00:12:47,025 --> 00:12:48,567
♪ Then you said ♪
296
00:12:48,651 --> 00:12:51,109
♪ I don't know you ♪
297
00:12:51,192 --> 00:12:53,109
-That's weird.
-What?
298
00:12:53,192 --> 00:12:56,442
I had a dream about
a whale last night.
299
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,067
-You're kidding.
-No.
300
00:12:58,150 --> 00:13:00,609
You dreamt about a whale and now
there's a whale right here?
301
00:13:00,693 --> 00:13:04,025
I mean, it wasn't turquoise.
Didn't say, "Sail," but--
302
00:13:04,109 --> 00:13:05,442
That's serendipitous!
303
00:13:05,526 --> 00:13:07,859
That means you're right
where you're supposed to be.
304
00:13:08,484 --> 00:13:09,901
Do you believe that?
305
00:13:10,651 --> 00:13:11,651
Let's go.
306
00:13:11,734 --> 00:13:15,859
-Going in the whale store?
-Hell yeah.
307
00:13:22,359 --> 00:13:24,359
-Can I?
-Mmm-hmm.
308
00:13:27,943 --> 00:13:30,901
-Should I lock it?
-I would.
309
00:13:34,442 --> 00:13:36,943
♪ ♪
310
00:13:48,776 --> 00:13:50,275
I don't have a condom.
311
00:13:50,359 --> 00:13:52,651
Oh, okay, I'm okay.
Are you okay?
312
00:13:52,734 --> 00:13:56,234
-Yeah, totally, A-plus.
-Okay. Okay.
313
00:13:57,693 --> 00:14:00,567
-(thumping)
-(voices murmur)
314
00:14:01,984 --> 00:14:03,776
How's it going in there?
315
00:14:03,859 --> 00:14:07,984
Yeah, it fits good.
Thank you.
316
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:16,776
♪ I'm on the guest list
down at Paul's Baby Grand ♪
317
00:14:16,859 --> 00:14:18,192
We got some hats.
318
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:21,693
♪ That hipster doorman,
he don't know who I am ♪
319
00:14:21,776 --> 00:14:24,526
♪ But my studied aloofness ♪
320
00:14:24,609 --> 00:14:29,567
♪ Is proof I belong so I pass♪
321
00:14:35,234 --> 00:14:39,234
♪ I'm leaving Los Feliz ♪
322
00:14:41,275 --> 00:14:43,943
(both moaning)
323
00:14:46,442 --> 00:14:48,484
(panting)
324
00:14:56,275 --> 00:14:58,317
(moaning)
325
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:05,734
♪ I'm young enough to know
I'm too young to quit ♪
326
00:15:05,818 --> 00:15:07,317
What are we doing?
327
00:15:08,401 --> 00:15:10,025
Don't use words.
328
00:15:11,651 --> 00:15:16,234
-I'm thinking words,
I'm thinking words.
-Shh! Don't use words.
329
00:15:16,317 --> 00:15:18,234
I'm thinking words
right now, I'm defining it.
330
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:22,192
Don't use words, just,
um, use a color.
331
00:15:22,859 --> 00:15:24,859
That was very green.
332
00:15:24,943 --> 00:15:26,776
-You think
it was green?
-Yeah.
333
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,776
I think it was yellow.
334
00:15:28,859 --> 00:15:30,859
I would love to...
335
00:15:30,943 --> 00:15:33,818
yellow, anytime. Here.
336
00:15:33,901 --> 00:15:38,401
I will green you whenever.
337
00:15:38,693 --> 00:15:40,859
-Great.
-Yeah.
338
00:15:41,818 --> 00:15:43,067
♪ ♪
339
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:46,150
♪ I'm leaving Los Feliz ♪
340
00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:50,275
♪ Day after tomorrow ♪
341
00:15:50,359 --> 00:15:54,192
♪ I'm leaving Los Feliz ♪
342
00:15:59,818 --> 00:16:01,859
♪ ♪
343
00:16:12,901 --> 00:16:15,526
-The food is awful.
-Awful. Who died?
344
00:16:15,609 --> 00:16:18,109
Anthrax, they killed
this lox with Anthrax.
345
00:16:18,192 --> 00:16:21,192
-It's like a shiva call.
-Is that egg salad?
346
00:16:21,275 --> 00:16:23,234
Oh hey, man!
Pete, you found us.
347
00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:25,317
I didn't know there'd be food.
I ate on the way.
348
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:26,984
Jewish event.
There can't not be food.
349
00:16:27,067 --> 00:16:29,818
Jewish comedy has
to follow a feeding. Has to.
350
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:31,567
And that's Modi,
he's the other comedian.
351
00:16:31,651 --> 00:16:33,067
-Hi.
-Nice to meet you.
352
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:34,651
Should I be wearing
the...?
353
00:16:34,734 --> 00:16:38,359
No. No, they're not paying
enough for us to wear yarmulkes.
354
00:16:38,442 --> 00:16:41,734
Hello. I'm Shoshanna Ginsburg,
I'm the cochair of the event.
355
00:16:41,818 --> 00:16:43,818
I was the chair last year
and the year before that,
356
00:16:43,901 --> 00:16:48,067
but I wasn't even gonna
do it this year,
but they begged me.
357
00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:50,067
-And you are?
-That's Pete.
358
00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:52,025
-He's gonna
also do the show.
-I'm Pete. Hello.
359
00:16:52,109 --> 00:16:55,067
Oh, well, he told me
all about you, Elon did,
and, uh,
360
00:16:55,150 --> 00:16:56,901
I'm sure it's gonna work out.
361
00:16:57,567 --> 00:17:00,025
-Is there anything
I can get you guys?
-A check.
362
00:17:00,109 --> 00:17:01,526
(laughs)
363
00:17:01,609 --> 00:17:02,818
He's serious.
364
00:17:02,901 --> 00:17:05,359
Shoshanna:
Oh, you guys
crack me up.
365
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:08,025
Well, I'm gonna leave you
alone to your comedy.
366
00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:09,526
-Thank you.
-Mazel tov.
367
00:17:09,609 --> 00:17:10,984
-For leaving.
-Oy.
368
00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:13,192
It's like getting the life
sucked out of you before a show.
369
00:17:13,275 --> 00:17:15,150
-It's the worst.
-The worst! Ugh!
370
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:18,901
-She was cochair, you know.
-She's cochair? She should
hang herself off a chair.
371
00:17:18,984 --> 00:17:21,567
Elon:
Wow, this is just--
even fruit they ruin.
372
00:17:21,651 --> 00:17:24,317
-How do you screw up fruit?
-It doesn't even look fresh.
373
00:17:24,401 --> 00:17:27,317
-It's not doing it.
-Wow.
374
00:17:28,484 --> 00:17:31,067
Why so nervous?
Haven't you ever
done comedy before?
375
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:35,359
I-- I don't know, I just
blew my Cellar audition,
376
00:17:35,442 --> 00:17:37,234
so I don't know if I can
take another rejection.
377
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,484
Elon:
It's gonna be great, trust me.
Modi's gonna go up first.
378
00:17:39,567 --> 00:17:40,984
He's so, like, Jew-y,
379
00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:43,567
you'll be a breath
of fresh, gentile air.
380
00:17:44,025 --> 00:17:46,401
-Gentile air--
that's the deodorant I use.
-Yes.
381
00:17:46,484 --> 00:17:48,943
Modi (laughs):
You should use that,
that's good.
382
00:17:49,025 --> 00:17:52,567
Be the goy that you are.
Don't try to be Jew-y on stage.
383
00:17:52,651 --> 00:17:56,025
-Right, right. Sorry.
-(phone chimes)
384
00:18:00,192 --> 00:18:02,109
-Elon: You're eating this?
-I'm gonna have fruit.
385
00:18:02,192 --> 00:18:03,734
What's going on
over there?
386
00:18:03,818 --> 00:18:05,150
Uh, nothing.
387
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:07,234
-Modi: "Nothing."
-Nobody says, "Nothing."
388
00:18:07,317 --> 00:18:09,109
Whenever you say, "Nothing,"
it's always something.
389
00:18:09,192 --> 00:18:10,609
Don't make us beg,
just tell us.
390
00:18:10,693 --> 00:18:11,943
Modi:
Yeah, what do you
got there?
391
00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:14,192
It was a... It's a girl.
392
00:18:14,275 --> 00:18:15,442
-Oh!
-Mmm!
393
00:18:15,526 --> 00:18:17,859
-Somebody I met
today, actually.
-Nice, nice!
394
00:18:17,943 --> 00:18:21,442
-Very nice! And?
What happened?
-Good for you!
395
00:18:21,526 --> 00:18:24,234
I don't want to kiss and tell.
It was just, you know...
396
00:18:24,317 --> 00:18:26,609
-You already kissed her?
-We had sex.
397
00:18:26,693 --> 00:18:29,317
-Oh!
-In a dressing room.
398
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:30,609
-What?
-Wow.
399
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:32,776
And then again in a bathroom,
on a changing table.
400
00:18:32,859 --> 00:18:36,067
-Two times?
-In one day.
It's a double shtup.
401
00:18:36,150 --> 00:18:37,150
Oh, my God.
402
00:18:37,234 --> 00:18:38,442
Elon:
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
403
00:18:38,526 --> 00:18:40,818
You had sex with a girl
you met today
404
00:18:40,901 --> 00:18:43,401
-in a dressing room?
-Yeah.
405
00:18:43,859 --> 00:18:45,275
I thought you were
a religious guy.
406
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:48,526
I mean, that face is...
definitely a little
Episcopalian.
407
00:18:48,609 --> 00:18:52,109
I know it seems
a little fast, but we...
408
00:18:52,192 --> 00:18:54,359
you know, we really connected.
It was...
409
00:18:54,442 --> 00:18:56,818
I don't want to say
it was love at first sight,
but, you know...
410
00:18:56,901 --> 00:18:59,859
-I'm sure it was. Wow.
-...I think this might be
my person.
411
00:18:59,943 --> 00:19:01,609
-You want to take this?
-You got it.
412
00:19:01,693 --> 00:19:03,984
Elon:
I'm not doing anything
with this. I can't handle it.
413
00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:05,818
-Go ahead.
-All right. Pete...
414
00:19:05,901 --> 00:19:08,651
I'm glad you had
this exciting experience,
415
00:19:08,734 --> 00:19:10,484
this thing that happened
that you thought
416
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:11,859
would never happen to you.
417
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,859
It's exciting, you know?
418
00:19:13,943 --> 00:19:16,275
But the sense I get is
419
00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:18,317
maybe you're just
a little bit lost.
420
00:19:18,651 --> 00:19:21,484
-I mean...
-Elon: You're all over
the place. Pick a lane.
421
00:19:21,567 --> 00:19:24,567
In the moment, you know,
it made a lot of sense.
422
00:19:24,651 --> 00:19:26,109
'Cause she played
with your balls.
423
00:19:26,192 --> 00:19:28,067
-Elon: That's what
I'm talking about.
-But-- but why?
424
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:31,984
I don't understand.
Why can't I be this guy?
425
00:19:32,067 --> 00:19:35,067
Why can't I do this
a little bit?
426
00:19:35,150 --> 00:19:37,192
-Elon: 'Cause you're not--
-Maybe I met this girl
for a reason.
427
00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:41,484
Right, or maybe you're
here with us for a reason.
428
00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:44,567
There's a Hebrew
expression, which--
429
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,359
Gam Zu L'Tova,
430
00:19:46,442 --> 00:19:48,734
which means,
"Even this is for the best."
431
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:50,859
Elon:
Yeah, like, maybe
you took this gig
432
00:19:50,943 --> 00:19:52,609
'cause you got nothing else
going on, whatever.
433
00:19:52,693 --> 00:19:53,984
I'm sure you didn't
expect to be doing
434
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,067
a shul gig tonight,
but, uh...
435
00:19:56,984 --> 00:19:58,526
here you are.
436
00:19:58,609 --> 00:20:00,609
Maybe you need to be having
this conversation with us.
437
00:20:00,693 --> 00:20:02,359
Maybe it's God
reaching out to you.
438
00:20:02,442 --> 00:20:05,734
No pressure,
just be open to it.
439
00:20:05,818 --> 00:20:09,609
Rabbi:
Okay, if everybody
could find a seat,
we could get going.
440
00:20:09,693 --> 00:20:12,067
First of all, I want
to remind everybody
441
00:20:12,150 --> 00:20:14,442
let's silence
your cell phones,
442
00:20:14,526 --> 00:20:18,401
and no flash photography
at today's event.
443
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:23,275
Um, all right, so before
we start, uh, today's
comedy show,
444
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:26,067
as many of you are aware,
Leon Schwartz passed away
445
00:20:26,150 --> 00:20:28,359
earlier this week
from colon cancer.
446
00:20:28,859 --> 00:20:33,526
Uh, his family will be sitting
shiva all week at their home.
447
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:35,943
So who's ready for some comedy?
448
00:20:36,484 --> 00:20:38,359
(applause)
449
00:20:39,818 --> 00:20:43,901
I can think of no better way
to celebrate Leon's life,
450
00:20:43,984 --> 00:20:48,192
to honor him, but to celebrate
and have a few laughs.
451
00:20:48,275 --> 00:20:51,484
Can we do that?
I think we can.
452
00:20:53,234 --> 00:20:56,901
Now-- now Elon and Modi
453
00:20:56,984 --> 00:20:58,359
were here three years ago,
454
00:20:58,442 --> 00:21:00,567
and people are still
talking about it.
455
00:21:00,651 --> 00:21:04,067
So it is my pleasure
to welcome them back.
456
00:21:04,150 --> 00:21:05,943
Take it away, Modi!
457
00:21:06,025 --> 00:21:07,275
(applause)
458
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:09,484
(cheers)
459
00:21:12,818 --> 00:21:15,025
Thank you, Rabbi.
(clears throat)
460
00:21:15,109 --> 00:21:16,943
Colon cancer!
461
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:19,401
-That's how
you bring me up here.
-(laughter)
462
00:21:19,484 --> 00:21:22,734
There goes my colonoscopy joke.
Shot to Hell!
463
00:21:23,275 --> 00:21:26,192
And those of you, you know
that the laws of burial--
464
00:21:26,275 --> 00:21:28,776
In the Jewish religion
when somebody dies,
465
00:21:28,859 --> 00:21:33,275
we bury them right away.
Whoosh! In the ground.
466
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:35,734
There's no messing around. Bam!
467
00:21:35,818 --> 00:21:38,526
It's not gonna get
any better, is it?
468
00:21:38,609 --> 00:21:41,192
In Florida, when the old people
take a nap, they wake up,
469
00:21:41,275 --> 00:21:43,609
"No! No!
470
00:21:43,693 --> 00:21:46,275
Put the shovel away!
What's wrong with you?"
471
00:21:50,734 --> 00:21:53,192
It's, uh... it's wonderful
to be here.
472
00:21:53,275 --> 00:21:55,651
Thanks for having me.
Obviously, I'm your guest.
473
00:21:55,734 --> 00:21:58,109
I'm not... I'm not Jewish.
474
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:01,359
I don't know if you can tell
by looking at... everything.
475
00:22:01,442 --> 00:22:04,359
-(laughter)
-Just all of this.
476
00:22:04,442 --> 00:22:06,109
I'm six-foot, six.
I kind of look like
477
00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:07,859
Goliath if he went
to prep school.
478
00:22:07,943 --> 00:22:09,776
Does that make sense?
479
00:22:09,859 --> 00:22:11,484
I see a lot of empty seats.
480
00:22:11,567 --> 00:22:14,651
-Are you all saving a seat
for Elijah? Or is that...
-(laughter)
481
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:17,025
-(chuckles)
-He's good.
482
00:22:17,109 --> 00:22:19,067
I do know a lot
about the Old Testament,
483
00:22:19,150 --> 00:22:20,359
or as you guys call it,
484
00:22:20,442 --> 00:22:23,401
-the whole story.
-(laughter)
485
00:22:23,484 --> 00:22:24,859
I think we should
get along more.
486
00:22:24,943 --> 00:22:26,275
Jews and Christians
should get along.
487
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:29,275
My book is 70 percent
your book.
488
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:32,317
We agree on most of my book.
489
00:22:32,401 --> 00:22:34,901
We just differ on the ending.
490
00:22:34,984 --> 00:22:36,693
(laughter)
491
00:22:36,776 --> 00:22:39,526
It's like Lord of the Rings.
We both agree on
Fellowship of the Ring.
492
00:22:39,609 --> 00:22:41,693
We all love the Two Towers.
493
00:22:41,776 --> 00:22:44,234
We just love
Return of the King,
and you guys are like,
494
00:22:44,317 --> 00:22:46,150
"Wrong king!"
495
00:22:47,693 --> 00:22:49,442
What else? Um...
496
00:22:49,526 --> 00:22:51,734
You guys get a bad rap
for being unathletic.
497
00:22:51,818 --> 00:22:53,901
I don't understand that.
You've been athletic
498
00:22:53,984 --> 00:22:55,025
for thousands of years.
499
00:22:55,109 --> 00:22:59,150
Moses climbed a mountain
to talk to God.
500
00:22:59,234 --> 00:23:01,526
Folks, God is everywhere.
501
00:23:01,609 --> 00:23:05,150
This guy's going
on an elective hike
502
00:23:05,234 --> 00:23:08,401
just because he gets a few
more bars up in the hills.
503
00:23:08,484 --> 00:23:10,067
That's commitment!
504
00:23:10,150 --> 00:23:11,609
Then God gives him
the Ten Commandments.
505
00:23:11,693 --> 00:23:12,526
Does he write it down?
506
00:23:12,609 --> 00:23:14,859
No, he chisels it!
507
00:23:14,943 --> 00:23:17,567
In heavy stone!
508
00:23:17,651 --> 00:23:19,609
He made those commandments
nice and smooth, baby.
509
00:23:19,693 --> 00:23:23,567
That's a man's man!
That takes grit!
510
00:23:23,651 --> 00:23:27,067
And then he hiked down,
holding the weights.
511
00:23:27,150 --> 00:23:30,401
That's weight-training, folks.
That's CrossFit.
512
00:23:30,484 --> 00:23:32,401
Then he gets down, is he tired?
He's not tired.
513
00:23:32,484 --> 00:23:35,317
He still has enough chutzpah
to kick over a golden calf.
514
00:23:35,401 --> 00:23:37,150
That's right, chutzpah!
515
00:23:37,234 --> 00:23:39,859
I googled a lot of this.
516
00:23:39,943 --> 00:23:41,234
I kugel-ed it.
517
00:23:41,317 --> 00:23:43,484
(laughing)
518
00:23:50,150 --> 00:23:51,109
Um...
519
00:23:51,192 --> 00:23:54,442
-Oh my God, she showed up.
-Oh, wow.
520
00:23:54,526 --> 00:23:57,109
I hope this shul doesn't
have a dressing room.
521
00:23:57,192 --> 00:23:58,901
Well, we definitely
have a bathroom.
522
00:23:58,984 --> 00:24:00,442
I was honored
to get this gig.
523
00:24:00,526 --> 00:24:01,984
It came through an e-mail.
524
00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:04,275
Actually, an e-mohel.
525
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,401
(laughing)
526
00:24:07,109 --> 00:24:10,192
That's an e-mail,
but they cut off the subject.
527
00:24:11,693 --> 00:24:13,776
Some people say it's cruel,
but it's tradition.
528
00:24:13,859 --> 00:24:15,150
(laughter)
529
00:24:15,234 --> 00:24:17,192
Thank you guys very much.
This was wonderful!
530
00:24:17,275 --> 00:24:19,109
I really appreciate it.
531
00:24:19,192 --> 00:24:20,943
Have a good night!
532
00:24:21,025 --> 00:24:23,609
And keep it going for
the very funny Elon Gold!
533
00:24:23,693 --> 00:24:24,984
Everybody, Elon Gold!
534
00:24:25,067 --> 00:24:26,776
(cheers and applause)
535
00:24:26,859 --> 00:24:28,150
Here's what I love
about Judaism.
536
00:24:28,234 --> 00:24:29,984
Judaism is the only religion
537
00:24:30,067 --> 00:24:33,025
that doesn't try to recruit
new members. Yeah.
538
00:24:33,109 --> 00:24:35,401
Probably 'cause we know
we can't get any.
539
00:24:35,901 --> 00:24:38,317
I mean, what's the selling point
there, exactly, right?
540
00:24:38,401 --> 00:24:41,317
(whispering):
Sorry, can I... squeeze in?
541
00:24:41,401 --> 00:24:44,734
Elon:
Tired of that excess flap
of skin on your schmeckle?
542
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:46,984
-Hi.
-Hey.
543
00:24:47,067 --> 00:24:49,943
-I know.
-I thought you had
a bachelorette party.
544
00:24:50,025 --> 00:24:51,526
I just wanted to see you.
545
00:24:51,609 --> 00:24:54,067
I wanted to see you live.
546
00:24:54,150 --> 00:24:55,776
Want to stop eating
three of the most
547
00:24:55,859 --> 00:24:57,567
delicious foods on the planet?
548
00:24:58,401 --> 00:25:01,359
Bacon, cheeseburgers,
and bacon double-cheeseburgers?
549
00:25:02,025 --> 00:25:04,150
Or perhaps you're ready
to give up eating altogether,
550
00:25:04,234 --> 00:25:08,359
and would enjoy partaking in one
of our numerous fast days?
551
00:25:08,442 --> 00:25:10,651
Well, then, Judaism's
just for you.
552
00:25:13,609 --> 00:25:16,109
No, I'm happy to be here,
very happy to be here.
553
00:25:17,442 --> 00:25:19,025
-Woman: Wonderful.
-Thank you, guys.
554
00:25:19,109 --> 00:25:20,025
-Good night.
-Thank you.
555
00:25:20,109 --> 00:25:22,109
-Thank you.
-Thanks, guys.
556
00:25:22,609 --> 00:25:24,192
So where's your lady friend?
557
00:25:24,275 --> 00:25:26,776
She's smoking a cigarette,
I think. I don't know.
558
00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:28,984
I can't believe
she showed up.
559
00:25:29,067 --> 00:25:31,734
-Yeah, she surprised me.
-Mm.
560
00:25:31,818 --> 00:25:32,943
Good night.
Nice to meet you.
561
00:25:33,025 --> 00:25:34,401
-There she is!
-Uh-oh!
562
00:25:34,484 --> 00:25:37,192
-My boys!
Oh, you were wonderful!
-Thank you.
563
00:25:37,275 --> 00:25:39,025
-And, Pete.
-Oh.
564
00:25:39,109 --> 00:25:42,025
I think you have a real future
in the religious markets.
565
00:25:42,109 --> 00:25:43,693
-Really?
-And I know people.
566
00:25:43,776 --> 00:25:45,526
So I'm gonna make
a call for you.
567
00:25:45,609 --> 00:25:47,818
Oh, my God, that would
be amazing. Thank you.
568
00:25:50,025 --> 00:25:51,526
See?
Gam Zu L'Tova,
569
00:25:51,609 --> 00:25:53,234
everything happens
for a reason.
570
00:25:53,317 --> 00:25:55,067
-Thank you, guys.
-Good times!
571
00:25:55,150 --> 00:25:58,025
-Good, good.
-You don't even know
how much I needed this.
572
00:25:58,109 --> 00:26:01,109
This... this felt really
natural. It was great.
573
00:26:01,192 --> 00:26:03,818
Oh, uh, the rabbi.
I spoke to him about you.
574
00:26:03,901 --> 00:26:06,234
-The rabbi?
-Yeah, yeah.
He's a brilliant guy.
575
00:26:06,317 --> 00:26:07,693
Like, you know,
not just religion.
576
00:26:07,776 --> 00:26:09,317
He's studied philosophy,
psychiatry.
577
00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:11,025
He's like
a spiritual genius.
578
00:26:11,109 --> 00:26:13,651
Anyway, I told him
about our conversation,
and that you were--
579
00:26:13,734 --> 00:26:15,442
I didn't say, "lost,"
but I said, I don't know,
580
00:26:15,526 --> 00:26:17,818
-He's "questioning
and grappling."
-Yeah, yeah.
581
00:26:17,901 --> 00:26:20,609
He said he would love
to sit down with you.
582
00:26:20,693 --> 00:26:22,234
When?
583
00:26:22,317 --> 00:26:23,401
Now.
584
00:26:23,484 --> 00:26:24,734
-He wants to talk now?
-Yeah.
585
00:26:24,818 --> 00:26:26,567
You should meet with the rabbi.
It's a big deal.
586
00:26:26,651 --> 00:26:29,025
It's like getting
a table at Il Mulino's.
587
00:26:29,734 --> 00:26:31,693
I think he could
give you some clarity.
588
00:26:31,776 --> 00:26:33,567
-Absolutely.
-Cool.
589
00:26:34,067 --> 00:26:36,609
-Uh-oh!
-Hey, you had
a good laugh, Herb?
590
00:26:36,693 --> 00:26:38,693
♪ ♪
591
00:26:40,567 --> 00:26:42,693
♪ ♪
592
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:47,317
So, where is Pete?
593
00:26:50,192 --> 00:26:52,693
♪ ♪
594
00:26:54,234 --> 00:26:55,609
♪ Don't look at me ♪
595
00:26:55,693 --> 00:26:58,359
♪ It's way too soon to see ♪
596
00:26:58,442 --> 00:26:59,651
♪ What's gonna be ♪
597
00:26:59,734 --> 00:27:02,317
♪ Don't look at me ♪
598
00:27:02,401 --> 00:27:04,442
♪ All my life ♪
599
00:27:04,526 --> 00:27:05,693
♪ I never knew ♪
600
00:27:05,776 --> 00:27:07,734
♪ What I could be,
what I could do ♪
601
00:27:07,818 --> 00:27:09,818
♪ Then we were new ♪
602
00:27:09,901 --> 00:27:15,609
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
603
00:27:16,984 --> 00:27:18,150
♪ You came along ♪
604
00:27:18,234 --> 00:27:20,776
♪ And made my life a song ♪
605
00:27:20,859 --> 00:27:23,943
♪ One lucky day,
you came along ♪
606
00:27:24,901 --> 00:27:27,192
♪ Just in time ♪
607
00:27:27,275 --> 00:27:29,234
♪ Well, I was searching
for a rock ♪
608
00:27:29,317 --> 00:27:32,442
♪ You came along,
then we were new ♪
609
00:27:32,526 --> 00:27:35,484
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
610
00:27:35,567 --> 00:27:37,567
♪ We can do what we want ♪
611
00:27:37,651 --> 00:27:40,567
♪ We can live as we choose ♪
612
00:27:43,734 --> 00:27:45,651
♪ You see there's
no guarantee ♪
613
00:27:45,734 --> 00:27:49,025
♪ We got nothing to lose ♪
614
00:27:51,901 --> 00:27:53,025
♪ Don't look at me ♪
615
00:27:53,109 --> 00:27:55,859
♪ I can't deny the truth ♪
616
00:27:55,943 --> 00:27:58,234
♪ It's plain to see,
don't look at me ♪
617
00:27:59,818 --> 00:28:01,859
♪ All my life ♪
618
00:28:01,943 --> 00:28:03,109
♪ I never knew ♪
619
00:28:03,192 --> 00:28:05,275
♪ What I could be,
what I could do ♪
620
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:07,359
♪ Then we were new ♪
621
00:28:07,442 --> 00:28:10,567
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
43741
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