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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,870 --> 00:00:09,670 Previously on Black Monday... 2 00:00:10,830 --> 00:00:12,890 I came across some Georgina documents. 3 00:00:12,910 --> 00:00:14,900 Yeah, I think that maybe we purchased 4 00:00:14,910 --> 00:00:16,110 some Georgina shares 5 00:00:16,130 --> 00:00:17,290 - back in the day. - Oh, my God! 6 00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:19,490 - Who the fuck are you? - We're with the SEC. 7 00:00:19,510 --> 00:00:21,350 - We'll be in touch. - We've had some threats, 8 00:00:21,370 --> 00:00:22,760 uh, with Tiffany, 9 00:00:22,770 --> 00:00:25,270 e-ever since Calvin Klein's daughter was kidnapped. 10 00:00:25,330 --> 00:00:28,610 Mo and I dated a very long time ago. 11 00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:30,530 Mo! Damn it. 12 00:00:30,540 --> 00:00:32,790 So this is it? You're gonna stay here with him? 13 00:00:32,870 --> 00:00:35,860 I tried everything to make this work because I love you. 14 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:37,170 Do you even want to get married? 15 00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:38,910 Those aren't cops. They're fucking actors. 16 00:00:38,930 --> 00:00:40,780 Brendan books a pilot every year. 17 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,540 Dawn, I'm really confused right now. 18 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,570 _ 19 00:00:54,470 --> 00:00:56,140 So no matter how drunk I get tonight, 20 00:00:56,150 --> 00:00:57,780 wake me up, because remember, 21 00:00:57,790 --> 00:00:59,600 we're meeting my folks downtown at nine a.m. 22 00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:01,340 to look at that apartment on the Upper West Side. 23 00:01:01,350 --> 00:01:02,620 And remind me, what's the difference 24 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:04,760 between the Upper West and the Upper East? 25 00:01:04,770 --> 00:01:06,490 My mom made up a mnemonic device 26 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,530 for me as a kid. 27 00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:10,620 "Upper West, West, West is best, best, best. 28 00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:13,250 Upper East, East, East is Jewish." 29 00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:16,200 Is Nair supposed to burn my eyes from this distance? 30 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:17,860 Yeah, baby. 31 00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:20,000 Tiff, you know, I've been doing really well 32 00:01:20,010 --> 00:01:23,740 at work lately, and we could afford a place on our own 33 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:27,070 if we were willing just to move a little bit more downtown. 34 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,430 "Downtown is brown, brown, brown." 35 00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:34,030 Blair, every newlywed's parents buy them an apartment. Duh. 36 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,780 The only thing you should work on 37 00:01:35,790 --> 00:01:37,570 is letting yourself be happy. 38 00:01:37,590 --> 00:01:38,940 Everything's perfect. 39 00:01:38,950 --> 00:01:41,680 Is it? Because we still haven't really talked 40 00:01:41,690 --> 00:01:42,740 about the engagement party. 41 00:01:42,750 --> 00:01:44,350 - What about? - It was crappy. 42 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:45,990 Well, you know what they say. 43 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,430 "Crappy engagement, happy marriage." 44 00:01:48,450 --> 00:01:51,190 - No one says that. - Well, I do. 45 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,830 How about the fact that I... didn't come home that night? 46 00:01:54,850 --> 00:01:57,190 I just assumed you were busy with work junk, 47 00:01:57,290 --> 00:02:00,060 and if I assumed correctly, cross your arms. 48 00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:02,510 Oh, perfect. 49 00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,190 I just think, 50 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,370 in light of the last couple months, 51 00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:09,440 maybe we should think about... 52 00:02:09,450 --> 00:02:11,120 - ... postponing the wedding. - No. 53 00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:12,200 There's that P word again. 54 00:02:12,210 --> 00:02:14,150 We were in The Times Vows section, Blair, 55 00:02:14,170 --> 00:02:15,490 not the disavows section. 56 00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:16,960 We are getting married, 57 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,760 we are getting a place on the Upper West Side, 58 00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:21,780 and I am getting sozzled at my goddamned bachelorette party 59 00:02:21,790 --> 00:02:23,710 wearing a goddamned penis crown. 60 00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:26,870 And if you agree with all that, blink. 61 00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:33,820 Oh, God. 62 00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:35,990 Perfect. I love you. 63 00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:43,490 Just a minute. 64 00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:46,650 Who is it? 65 00:02:46,660 --> 00:02:48,240 Oh, my God! 66 00:02:49,580 --> 00:02:52,320 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 67 00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:53,570 All those fair-weather 68 00:02:53,580 --> 00:02:55,490 Halley's Comet fans from last year 69 00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:56,850 don't know what they're missing. 70 00:02:56,870 --> 00:02:59,420 1987 is the year of the comet. 71 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:01,190 There's gonna be 11 visible tonight. 72 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,680 - Eleven! - Ooh, is that a lot? 73 00:03:03,690 --> 00:03:06,350 Only the most since 1912. 74 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,780 The only person I've seen more excited 75 00:03:08,790 --> 00:03:10,620 about burning rocks is Lawrence Taylor. 76 00:03:10,670 --> 00:03:12,780 - Who? - He's a Giant. 77 00:03:12,790 --> 00:03:13,870 Crackhead. 78 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:16,360 We all have our hobbies. 79 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,910 Mine is astronomy. Yours is lying to me. 80 00:03:19,790 --> 00:03:23,600 All right, how about tonight, we snuggle up on the couch 81 00:03:23,610 --> 00:03:25,860 with a bottle of wine and watch your comets? 82 00:03:25,870 --> 00:03:29,350 And then maybe you won't sleep on the couch anymore. 83 00:03:29,430 --> 00:03:31,490 I don't know if I'm ready for that. 84 00:03:31,570 --> 00:03:33,690 Babe, come on. I said some things. 85 00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:35,280 You said some things. 86 00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:37,300 But don't you miss these things? 87 00:03:37,310 --> 00:03:38,900 Let's "comet" 88 00:03:38,910 --> 00:03:40,350 to ending this fight. 89 00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:41,530 I love you. 90 00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:44,570 Oh, me too. 91 00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:47,720 Especially when you get all astronomical with it. 92 00:03:47,730 --> 00:03:49,990 - Ooh. - Super hot. 93 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,930 It's a date. 94 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,690 Okay, I'll pick up a bottle 95 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,460 on my way back from Tiff's bachelorette. 96 00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:56,980 What? Are you serious? 97 00:03:56,990 --> 00:03:58,820 You think I want to go? 98 00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:02,070 I told you, the Georgina play only works if they get married, 99 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,600 and they're not in a great place. 100 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,410 We are not in a great place! 101 00:04:05,450 --> 00:04:08,780 I worked too hard on this. 102 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,320 And it's a lot of money, baby. 103 00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:12,660 Twenty minutes. 104 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,070 I'm not even gonna stay for a drink. 105 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,210 I promise. 106 00:04:17,410 --> 00:04:19,150 - Go. - Thank you, thank you. 107 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,940 Thank you! 108 00:04:25,930 --> 00:04:28,030 Wakey, wakey. 109 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,550 Oh, there he is. 110 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,150 - Surprise! - What the fuck? 111 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:37,110 Wha... in what world is it okay to kidnap someone? 112 00:04:37,150 --> 00:04:39,000 Oh, people kidnap each other all the time 113 00:04:39,010 --> 00:04:40,440 for these bachelor party joke things. 114 00:04:40,450 --> 00:04:41,820 You know, it's called "kidding-napping" 115 00:04:41,830 --> 00:04:43,290 - for a reason, Blair. - No, it's not. 116 00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:44,860 And you used chloroform. 117 00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:47,460 - Well, that's the napping part. - Who uses chloroform? 118 00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:49,320 Uh, Colonel John Hannibal Smith, 119 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,240 Faceman, Howling Man Murdock... 120 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,130 Now you're just listing the A-Team. 121 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,530 - You changed my shirt? - Blair, they used to... 122 00:04:55,540 --> 00:04:56,690 - What the fuck is this? - ... chloroform Mr. T 123 00:04:56,700 --> 00:04:58,760 all the time, okay? He was always fine afterward. 124 00:04:58,770 --> 00:05:01,140 Just because something works on TV doesn't make it okay. 125 00:05:01,150 --> 00:05:02,440 Will you just try to have fun? 126 00:05:02,450 --> 00:05:04,710 - Chad, stop the car! - Nope. Don't stop shit. 127 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,150 Come on, Blair. We got a whole night of surprises planned. 128 00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:09,150 You're just pissed off about your engagement party, 129 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:10,160 - but to be honest, you... - I'm not pissed 130 00:05:10,170 --> 00:05:11,320 about the engagement party. 131 00:05:11,330 --> 00:05:13,640 I am pissed that you never say "I'm sorry" 132 00:05:13,650 --> 00:05:14,780 for anything ever. 133 00:05:14,790 --> 00:05:16,820 Well, I'm sorry... 134 00:05:16,830 --> 00:05:20,150 that I have a policy about never apologizing... 135 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,550 to white people. 136 00:05:22,510 --> 00:05:25,250 Why? Because Sting won all those Grammys over "Thriller"? 137 00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:28,210 Because of slavery, Blair. Slavery. 138 00:05:28,270 --> 00:05:30,650 Sorry. 139 00:05:30,670 --> 00:05:32,990 Man, I thought grabbing you and going all grand gesture 140 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,350 would make it up to you in a two birds, one stone, 141 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,370 three eight balls, four scores of Scores girls kind of way. 142 00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:40,440 It doesn't even matter. 143 00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:42,320 I don't think I can marry Tiff anymore. 144 00:05:42,330 --> 00:05:44,320 You don't what? 145 00:05:44,330 --> 00:05:47,030 Thank you. Good night. 146 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,710 Good ni... hey, why are we stopping? 147 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,690 - What the fuck? - Everyone out of the car! 148 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,460 - Oh, God. - Now! 149 00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:53,480 Another prank? 150 00:05:53,510 --> 00:05:54,690 Mo, I would've thought 151 00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:55,790 you would've learned your lesson, 152 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,240 but, no, you got to double down. 153 00:05:57,250 --> 00:05:58,480 This isn't a fucking prank, kid. 154 00:05:58,490 --> 00:06:00,490 What are you, Thug One and Thug Two? 155 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,940 "Oh, the places you'll go. The things you will do!" 156 00:06:02,950 --> 00:06:06,260 Hey, open your mouth again, and I'll shit up your ass, bitch. 157 00:06:06,270 --> 00:06:07,640 That sounds complicated. 158 00:06:07,650 --> 00:06:09,550 - Oh, I'll make it work. - Oh. 159 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,030 Hey, let's go Last Dragon on these motherfuckers. 160 00:06:14,810 --> 00:06:16,130 Really? 161 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,650 You son of a... 162 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,090 Sweet. What's the next surprise? 163 00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:33,390 So first it was your anniversary. 164 00:06:33,410 --> 00:06:34,670 Then your daughter's birthday. 165 00:06:34,690 --> 00:06:36,990 - Then your son's quinceañera? - Then your aunt died. 166 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,820 - Then your uncle died. - Then your car died. 167 00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:40,520 Then your wife dyed her hair the wrong shade, 168 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,940 so you had to rush her to the salon? 169 00:06:41,950 --> 00:06:43,570 How is that even an excuse? 170 00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:46,170 Well, what can I say? I'm a busy guy. 171 00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:49,530 I'm a busy, important, law-abiding, super-cool guy, 172 00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:54,410 but I'm here now, so let's get this ménage on the trois. 173 00:06:54,450 --> 00:06:56,400 - Keith, we don't want you. - Oh, well. 174 00:06:56,410 --> 00:06:59,690 You don't know what you're missing, 'cause I go downtown. 175 00:06:59,730 --> 00:07:01,730 We want Maurice Monroe 176 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:04,240 for all the illegal shit the Jammer Group's been up to, 177 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:06,360 and you are gonna give him to us. 178 00:07:06,370 --> 00:07:08,150 And why the fuck would I do that? 179 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,590 The SEC has taken down exactly... uh, what is it? 180 00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:12,950 Oh, zero people? 181 00:07:12,990 --> 00:07:14,950 Okay, by the time you build a case, 182 00:07:14,990 --> 00:07:18,290 Reagan... hallowed be thy name... will make it legal. 183 00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:19,680 Well, we're about to change all that. 184 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,690 We got an open-and-shut case of stock manipulation. 185 00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:25,360 So either you cooperate, or you're gonna go down with Mo. 186 00:07:25,370 --> 00:07:27,130 You want to go to prison, Keith? 187 00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:32,150 All right, what do you got? 188 00:07:46,290 --> 00:07:49,490 This? F.A.T.? 189 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:52,320 That's all you got? Well, uh, I hope you like 190 00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:53,990 your nothing burger with nothing on it, 191 00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:56,480 because this is nothing. 192 00:07:56,490 --> 00:07:57,530 Then how do you explain 193 00:07:57,540 --> 00:07:59,780 the highly abnormal one-day trading pattern 194 00:07:59,790 --> 00:08:03,610 for Federal Allied Titanium on October 20th of last year? 195 00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:07,940 It was a prank. A fucking goof. This is rich. 196 00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:11,740 To think that we were afraid of you two Columb-hos. 197 00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:13,460 Columbos, but with "ho." 198 00:08:13,470 --> 00:08:14,790 - We get it. - Bullshit. 199 00:08:14,850 --> 00:08:17,520 Call MoStan, okay? Call Ty Daverman. 200 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,190 And he will set you two chicks straight, okay? 201 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,390 - Speaking of straight... - Deb. 202 00:08:23,490 --> 00:08:24,950 You're gay. 203 00:08:24,990 --> 00:08:27,610 No, I'm not. 204 00:08:27,630 --> 00:08:29,630 You're gay, and we know it. 205 00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:33,200 So why don't you have a seat, Colum-homo? 206 00:08:43,870 --> 00:08:45,610 Thought so. 207 00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:52,990 Someone? 208 00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:55,590 - Thank you. - Dawn? Come on in! Hi! 209 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,590 Hey, uh, sorry I'm super late. 210 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,790 Or am I super early? Why is no one here? 211 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,670 Let's drank. Waiter! Get my girl some dranks! 212 00:09:02,690 --> 00:09:04,500 - I'm so glad you came. - Of course. 213 00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:06,040 You know I had to come celebrate 214 00:09:06,050 --> 00:09:07,580 the world's strongest couple. 215 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:08,620 Well, second strongest 216 00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:11,360 behind Sylvester Stallone and Brigitte Nielsen, right? 217 00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:14,650 - Those two are yoked. - You're hilarious. 218 00:09:14,660 --> 00:09:15,980 And you're gonna love my girlfriends. 219 00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:17,090 They're always joking around 220 00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:18,740 and running at least 52 minutes late. 221 00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:21,820 I mean, this is, like, so them. 222 00:09:21,830 --> 00:09:23,650 Dickcessory? 223 00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:26,150 Oh, uh, actually, I'm good. 224 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,950 You're dangerous. No, I'm good, actually. 225 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,080 No... no white dicks for me after Labor Day. 226 00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:31,870 - Oh! Boom! Again. - No, it's... 227 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,030 Dawn Rickles. 228 00:09:34,050 --> 00:09:36,860 You should charge a two-drink minimum for yourself. 229 00:09:36,870 --> 00:09:39,160 Get my girl two drinks! Sit. 230 00:09:39,170 --> 00:09:41,850 More piñas coladas, ma'am? 231 00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:43,290 Call me ma'am again. 232 00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:46,040 I want you to. 233 00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:48,820 And for you... miss? 234 00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:50,520 Um, I'm-I'm actually good. 235 00:09:50,530 --> 00:09:51,530 I just came to say a quick hello. 236 00:09:51,540 --> 00:09:53,070 No, don't leave. 237 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,160 I mean, I just... I want you to hang, 238 00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:58,000 'cause I really want to get to know the woman 239 00:09:58,010 --> 00:09:59,790 that stole my Care Blair away. 240 00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:03,080 Wait, Tiff, I-I don't know what you think is going on, but... 241 00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:04,440 I mean, just 'cause you're his boss 242 00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:06,110 and you make him work late and stuff. 243 00:10:06,130 --> 00:10:07,550 What did you think I meant? 244 00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:12,860 That I am his boss and always making him stay late, working. 245 00:10:12,870 --> 00:10:14,210 Can I have a Scotch? 246 00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:17,240 Oh, this is so scary, Mo. 247 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,750 The car fire's a little on the nose, though. 248 00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:21,320 It's not a fucking prank, okay, Blair? 249 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,440 We're lost in goddamn Little Beirut. 250 00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:25,210 And I lost a quarter-of-a-million-dollar car. 251 00:10:25,220 --> 00:10:26,240 Oh, come on. 252 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,320 Okay, it's a quarter of a quarter-of-a-million-dollar car. 253 00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:29,420 It was mostly, you know, Fiero 254 00:10:29,430 --> 00:10:30,660 with a little Town Car thrown in there. 255 00:10:30,670 --> 00:10:32,990 - But still, it stings. - No, I mean, "Come on, 256 00:10:33,010 --> 00:10:34,460 I don't believe you." 257 00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:37,100 Look, no offense, but I'm just gonna get a cab and go home. 258 00:10:37,110 --> 00:10:38,460 I got to figure out what I'm doing with Tiff. 259 00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:40,010 You know, this is the second time you've said this shit. 260 00:10:40,020 --> 00:10:41,650 Figure what out? Spill it. 261 00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:44,080 I just feel like me and Tiff, it's just not... 262 00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:45,710 it just is not... 263 00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:48,830 Wow. You thought of everything. 264 00:10:48,870 --> 00:10:50,820 The "cops" are here. 265 00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:53,110 No, no, I didn't set this up. We should go this way, man. 266 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,740 - Let's go this way. - No. No, no, no. 267 00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:56,110 I'm gonna go talk to the fuzz. 268 00:10:56,130 --> 00:10:57,490 - No, don't go talk to the... - Yeah. 269 00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:59,070 ... fucking fuzz! Hey! 270 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:00,520 - Officers! - Blair! 271 00:11:00,530 --> 00:11:01,930 Officers! 272 00:11:01,970 --> 00:11:04,120 Hi. I was just wondering 273 00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,640 if either of you T.J. Hooker extras had a chance 274 00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:08,690 to try the canapés at my engagement party 275 00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:10,260 before you fucking trashed the place. 276 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,880 What? Who the fuck are you? 277 00:11:11,890 --> 00:11:12,960 Mo! 278 00:11:12,970 --> 00:11:14,840 Next time you call Central Casting, 279 00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:16,020 you got to be specific. 280 00:11:16,030 --> 00:11:18,150 Don't just say "big." You should've said "tough." 281 00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:19,550 They sent the fucking Fat Boys. 282 00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:21,200 Please, do not shoot my dumb-ass friend. 283 00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:22,790 Shut the fuck up! 284 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,650 Come on, you got to try to sell that punch better. 285 00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:25,900 Who'd you boost this watch off, huh, bro? 286 00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:27,740 Listen, we're not gonna say anything, okay? 287 00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:29,110 We didn't see anything! Just let us go! 288 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,210 Okay, look... 289 00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:32,640 - I'm tired. - Blair. 290 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:35,110 I want to go home. What are we supposed to say? 291 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,860 "Time out" or "olly, olly, oxen free"? 292 00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:39,260 Fucking actors. 293 00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:41,120 - Oh! - Shit, that felt real. 294 00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:44,020 Whoa. It is real, you dumb fuck. Point it at the dirty cops. 295 00:11:44,030 --> 00:11:45,570 - Okay. - Get-get on the ground. 296 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,770 I'm just backing away. I'm sorry. 297 00:11:47,870 --> 00:11:50,280 Sorry about this. Thank you for your service! 298 00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:52,340 Get back here! I'll fucking kill you! 299 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,860 - Get the fuck back here! - Get back here! 300 00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:58,150 Oh, shit. 301 00:12:11,090 --> 00:12:13,280 Give us a case, 302 00:12:13,290 --> 00:12:14,940 or we'll tell everyone you're more flaming 303 00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:17,080 than Fire Island, which works on two levels. 304 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,240 - Come on, Deb. - We'll tell your wife. 305 00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:20,780 We'll tell Mo. 306 00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:23,440 We'll tell your son. 307 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,510 Okay. 308 00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:31,020 Nice. Told you he'd be in. 309 00:12:31,030 --> 00:12:33,930 No, no, I meant "Okay, go for it." 310 00:12:33,950 --> 00:12:37,330 Tell the world that I long for schlong. 311 00:12:37,370 --> 00:12:39,440 Agent Fox isn't fucking joking. 312 00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:42,920 I mean, there was a joke in the way that she said it. 313 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,900 I'm not joking either, okay? 314 00:12:44,910 --> 00:12:46,860 You know, God's a funny fuck, isn't He? 315 00:12:46,870 --> 00:12:48,820 Maybe this is the final push I've needed, you know? 316 00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:50,290 I've been wanting to tell my family forever, 317 00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:53,440 and Mo only cares that I'm gay for money, so... 318 00:12:53,450 --> 00:12:55,210 do it. 319 00:12:55,230 --> 00:12:57,490 Now, if there aren't any further questions, 320 00:12:57,500 --> 00:13:00,120 your ho-nors... that's "your honors" but with "ho"... 321 00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:02,530 - Not your best work. - No, we, uh... 322 00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:04,100 we got another ace up our sleeves, so... 323 00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:06,190 - Mm-hmm. - We will be back. 324 00:13:06,230 --> 00:13:08,490 Time to break out the big guns. 325 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,690 I'm telling you, 326 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:14,870 every girl is caught between a Jake and a Ted. 327 00:13:14,930 --> 00:13:16,570 - Who? - From Sixteen Candles. 328 00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:17,900 - I haven't seen it. - What? 329 00:13:17,910 --> 00:13:19,680 - No. - No! You haven't seen it? 330 00:13:19,690 --> 00:13:20,710 - Uh-uh. - Okay. 331 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,920 So Jake Ryan is this super-hot badass. 332 00:13:22,930 --> 00:13:24,120 - Mm-hmm. - And Ted is this dweeb. 333 00:13:24,130 --> 00:13:26,530 - Oof. - And I'm marrying a total Ted, 334 00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:29,570 which is crazy because all I'd ever been with are Jakes. 335 00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:31,070 - Oh... - I lost my virginity 336 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,780 - to a real bad boy. - Who? 337 00:13:32,790 --> 00:13:35,410 - Bill Laimbeer. - Ah! The Piston? 338 00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:36,820 More like the noodle. 339 00:13:36,830 --> 00:13:38,540 We went to theater camp together. 340 00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:41,280 I hope he was a better actor back then. 341 00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:45,150 - It's a basketball joke. - Mm. 342 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,680 'Cause... 343 00:13:46,690 --> 00:13:48,490 Anyway, I hear you, honestly. 344 00:13:48,510 --> 00:13:50,490 You know, I was all Jakes, 345 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,900 and then I married a real fucking Ted. 346 00:13:52,910 --> 00:13:54,070 I told you, I told you. 347 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,650 - Oh, God, Dawn. - Hmm? 348 00:13:56,660 --> 00:13:58,650 Am I making a huge mistake? 349 00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:00,570 - No, no! - Tell me. 350 00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,360 No, I promise you. 351 00:14:02,370 --> 00:14:04,140 Blair... Blair's great. 352 00:14:04,150 --> 00:14:07,090 Like, really great. Tiff, you are a lucky girl. 353 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,950 And you and I, we both know, you know, 354 00:14:08,970 --> 00:14:10,590 bad boys are just bad. 355 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,040 Yeah. Except Jake Ryan. 356 00:14:12,050 --> 00:14:13,070 He had a heart of gold. 357 00:14:13,090 --> 00:14:14,490 - Mm. - When he found out 358 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,530 all Ted wanted was to lose his virginity, 359 00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:19,490 Jake let him have sex with his passed-out girlfriend. 360 00:14:20,450 --> 00:14:22,720 - What the fuck? - I know. Wow. 361 00:14:22,730 --> 00:14:24,990 And that was in movie theaters? 362 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,460 - Yeah. - And white people were just 363 00:14:26,470 --> 00:14:28,190 like, "Cool"? 364 00:14:28,210 --> 00:14:30,530 Oh, my God. 365 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,760 I guess that is super fucked up. 366 00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:35,530 Yeah, yeah. 367 00:14:38,650 --> 00:14:40,400 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 368 00:14:40,410 --> 00:14:42,360 What's happening? What's happening? 369 00:14:42,370 --> 00:14:44,930 I'm pretty sure Blair tried to call off the wedding tonight. 370 00:14:47,530 --> 00:14:49,240 And it's gonna be super embarrassing, 371 00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:51,940 but I think I'm gonna... just gonna take him up on it. 372 00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:55,270 - No. Why? - 'Cause we're cursed. 373 00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:56,990 We're cursed. 374 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,480 I-I... no, no. Just drink your penis. 375 00:15:00,490 --> 00:15:02,360 It's gonna be okay. I promise. 376 00:15:02,370 --> 00:15:04,400 What a fucking night, right? 377 00:15:04,410 --> 00:15:05,680 - Oh! - Oh, you handled that gun 378 00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:07,210 - like a champ. - Shit! 379 00:15:07,270 --> 00:15:09,100 Sorry, I thought it was fake, Mo. 380 00:15:09,110 --> 00:15:10,540 And I am sorry for kidnapping you, 381 00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:11,770 but that was fresh. 382 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,900 Yes! 383 00:15:13,910 --> 00:15:16,030 Ooh! What a team, right? 384 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,820 Brains and beauty, witty and pretty, 385 00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:19,660 and, hey, you bring some shit to the table, too, kid. 386 00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:23,420 Oh, my God, we're alive in a stolen cop car. 387 00:15:23,430 --> 00:15:25,070 - Yeah. - We cheated death. 388 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,900 - We fucking did. - What do we do now? 389 00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:30,070 - Let's drink till we die! - Yes! 390 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:31,740 Hey, there's a spot right over here. 391 00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:32,990 - All right. - Okay. 392 00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:37,280 Who breaks up before their wedding 393 00:15:37,290 --> 00:15:38,610 and still ends up happy together? 394 00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,860 Lots of people. Uh... 395 00:15:41,870 --> 00:15:44,260 yeah, O.J. Simpson and that blonde girl he just married. 396 00:15:44,270 --> 00:15:45,610 - Yeah. - Robert Wagner 397 00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:47,240 and Natalie Wood... I mean, they married each other 398 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:49,570 twice and were so happy until... 399 00:15:49,580 --> 00:15:51,940 they drifted apart... literally. 400 00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:54,780 And the engagement party was such a disaster. 401 00:15:54,790 --> 00:15:56,640 Not to mention he was out all night 402 00:15:56,650 --> 00:15:58,130 with some prostitute probably. 403 00:15:58,170 --> 00:16:00,850 No, no, probably... not. 404 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,070 I tried to talk to my minister, 405 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,140 but I'm only an Operating Thetan IV, 406 00:16:04,150 --> 00:16:06,080 and he won't discuss it until I go up the Bridge, 407 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,660 but that's, like, another 100 grand. 408 00:16:08,730 --> 00:16:12,400 Trust me, Tiff. You are not cursed. 409 00:16:12,410 --> 00:16:14,110 Yeah? Really? 410 00:16:14,130 --> 00:16:15,940 Then how come no one showed up 411 00:16:15,950 --> 00:16:17,400 to my bachelorette party, Dawn? 412 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,960 Maybe they got caught in the park and killed. 413 00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:21,740 You're sweet. 414 00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,490 But I think this is the final sign. 415 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,140 - Check, please. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 416 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,690 Maybe it's a good thing your fake-ass friends didn't show. 417 00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:30,110 - Why? - Well, you've outgrown them. 418 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:34,070 Okay? You have new, sophisticated friends like me. 419 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,820 Right? Now, who needs those skanks? 420 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,440 All we need are drinks. 421 00:16:38,450 --> 00:16:40,270 Haven't you ever fallen out of love, Dawn? 422 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,190 You know, you keep holding on, 423 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,900 hoping to get that feeling back, but... 424 00:16:46,910 --> 00:16:49,820 the tighter you grip it, the further away it gets. 425 00:16:49,830 --> 00:16:51,560 And then one day you wake up, 426 00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:53,900 and you're two totally different people 427 00:16:53,910 --> 00:16:57,660 and you wonder how you even got together in the first place. 428 00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:01,530 Haven't you ever felt that, Dawn? 429 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:06,490 No. 430 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,370 I've never felt that. 431 00:17:11,390 --> 00:17:14,190 - We're like Miami Vice. - Exactly. 432 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,290 - Tiff? Dawn? - Blair? 433 00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:17,900 Are you crying? 434 00:17:17,910 --> 00:17:19,450 Are you okay? 435 00:17:19,510 --> 00:17:22,460 I don't think so. What are you doing here? 436 00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:24,570 Jesus Christ, this night can't get any crazier. 437 00:17:24,580 --> 00:17:26,820 We almost got killed, okay? Twice. 438 00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:28,840 And then we come in here randomly to get a drink, 439 00:17:28,850 --> 00:17:29,850 and then you two are here. 440 00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:32,110 If this isn't a sign that these two kids are soul mates, 441 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,490 I don't know what is, right, Dawn? 442 00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,860 - Right, Dawn? - Uh, yeah. Sure. 443 00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:39,480 Ye... "yeah, sure"? More like "hell, yeah, sure." 444 00:17:39,490 --> 00:17:40,770 Hey, waiter, listen, 445 00:17:40,790 --> 00:17:42,490 a bottle of your finest champagne 446 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:43,860 will not cut it. 447 00:17:43,870 --> 00:17:45,320 We need four of those motherfuckers 448 00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,750 and then tequila shots, 'cause we're getting crazy tonight. 449 00:17:47,790 --> 00:17:50,790 Oh, man, can you believe this coincidence? 450 00:17:50,830 --> 00:17:52,150 No. 451 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,190 Ok... huh? No? Ah, wha... 452 00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:58,530 Ugh, smug Chia Pet motherfucker. 453 00:17:58,540 --> 00:18:01,330 There's got to be something we missed. 454 00:18:01,370 --> 00:18:04,360 The only other thing we found was this. 455 00:18:04,370 --> 00:18:06,580 They've been buying up Georgina Jeans like crazy. 456 00:18:06,590 --> 00:18:08,190 What? When I went through their quarterlies, 457 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,820 they weren't holding any major positions. 458 00:18:09,830 --> 00:18:11,630 They were up to 40%. 459 00:18:11,650 --> 00:18:14,240 They must've gotten spooked and sold it off or something. 460 00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:16,950 Or they hid it to throw off the Street... 461 00:18:16,990 --> 00:18:20,050 and us. 462 00:18:20,070 --> 00:18:21,410 Captain's log. 463 00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:24,390 Captain Keith T. Shanker reporting for duty. 464 00:18:24,430 --> 00:18:26,570 This planet is full of assholes, a... 465 00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:28,550 - Feet off the table. - Fucking touch me again, 466 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,610 - and I'll sue. - So we know you don't care 467 00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:32,780 if we tell your son about your boyfriend, 468 00:18:32,790 --> 00:18:34,580 but how would you feel if we told your son 469 00:18:34,590 --> 00:18:36,620 and your boyfriend that they're going to jail 470 00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:37,860 for illegal share parking? 471 00:18:37,870 --> 00:18:39,810 You know, I think your son's gonna have a really hard time 472 00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:42,340 getting into Brandeis with that on his permanent record. 473 00:18:42,350 --> 00:18:43,530 Believe me, Brad's gonna have a hard time 474 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:44,820 getting into any college. 475 00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:46,120 Well, I bet your boyfriend's gonna have 476 00:18:46,130 --> 00:18:49,210 a real hard time in prison... actually, he might like it. 477 00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:52,280 Can we cool it with the gay panic stuff, Deb? 478 00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:54,170 - My cousin's a fairy. - Bullshit. 479 00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:56,530 I don't have any idea what you're talking about. 480 00:18:56,540 --> 00:19:00,550 Liar, liar, jeans on fire. 481 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,400 Nice. See? That was a good, clean one. 482 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,830 Thanks. How do you feel now, Keith? 483 00:19:07,690 --> 00:19:09,170 Fuck me. 484 00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:17,670 Okay. What do you need me to do? 485 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,990 Be honest, Mo. You didn't know they were here? 486 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,250 And, Dawn, you didn't tip them off 487 00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:22,790 - that I was getting cold feet? - Wait a second. 488 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,110 - Why do you have cold feet? - You're getting cold feet? 489 00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:26,930 - Because you are! - I'm-I'm just confused. 490 00:19:26,990 --> 00:19:28,380 Don't you love me anymore? 491 00:19:28,390 --> 00:19:30,810 Yes, he loves you anymore. This is insane, guys. 492 00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:32,490 Cold feet is normal. It's very normal. 493 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:34,240 - Right, Dawn? - Cold feet are normal. 494 00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:35,900 - See that? - But you got to listen 495 00:19:35,910 --> 00:19:36,910 - to your heart. - I know. 496 00:19:36,911 --> 00:19:39,190 - What the fuck? - Mo, shut up! 497 00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:41,460 Listen, find the person you want to be with 498 00:19:41,470 --> 00:19:43,270 based on who they are, not who they aren't. 499 00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:46,080 Trust me, if you pick a Ted just because a bunch of Jakes 500 00:19:46,090 --> 00:19:49,110 broke your heart, you're gonna be lonely. 501 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:51,070 W-wait, wait, wait. W-who's Ted and Jake? 502 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,190 - Sixteen Candles. - Sixteen Candles. 503 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,720 That movie's fucked. Long Duk Dong? 504 00:19:53,730 --> 00:19:55,440 Talk about a goddamn minstrel show right there. 505 00:19:55,450 --> 00:19:58,290 All right, the point is, if you marry the wrong person, 506 00:19:58,310 --> 00:20:00,110 you will regret it every day. 507 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:02,580 Well, just 'cause Dawn should've married her bad boy... 508 00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:03,750 - This isn't about you. - Oh. 509 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,130 This isn't about Spencer. This is about me. 510 00:20:07,370 --> 00:20:09,660 This me. Tiffa-me. 511 00:20:09,670 --> 00:20:11,280 Well, you used "me" as a metaphor. 512 00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:13,020 - No, I didn't. - Uh, I'm pretty sure 513 00:20:13,030 --> 00:20:15,190 - that you did. - How am I a Ted? I am a Jake. 514 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:16,630 I've always reminded myself of a Jake. 515 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,870 You're Ted tip to tush. T-E-D, Ted. 516 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:19,880 You're a little Teddy bear. 517 00:20:19,890 --> 00:20:21,760 Tiff and Blair are perfect for each other. 518 00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:23,360 You don't know that, and I don't know that. 519 00:20:23,370 --> 00:20:24,740 Only they know that. 520 00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:26,690 Guys, it's really fucking simple. 521 00:20:26,710 --> 00:20:28,250 - Are you in love? - Yes. 522 00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:30,990 Are you in love? Hmm? 523 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,270 - I... - Hey, slut! 524 00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:37,690 You came! 525 00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:39,570 Sluts. 526 00:20:39,580 --> 00:20:41,800 Sorry we're late. We were pre-gaming at Bunny's 527 00:20:41,810 --> 00:20:43,730 with a new Bartles & Jaymes flavor. 528 00:20:43,740 --> 00:20:45,570 And long story short, we ralphed. 529 00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:46,650 It was a prototype! 530 00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:47,940 And if we're being honest, 531 00:20:47,950 --> 00:20:50,150 after your whole engagement party fiasco, 532 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,240 we just thought you might call the whole wedding off. 533 00:20:58,910 --> 00:21:01,650 Call off the wedding? Call off the wedding? 534 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:05,050 Call off... off the wedding? Call off the wedding? 535 00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:07,280 Okay, as if, slut! 536 00:21:07,290 --> 00:21:08,340 - That's so ghetto. - Oh, okay. 537 00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,780 Blair and I are stronger than ever, right, Blair? 538 00:21:10,790 --> 00:21:12,760 - Ooh! - Thank God! 539 00:21:12,770 --> 00:21:14,640 'Cause for a second there, I was like, "Ew." 540 00:21:14,650 --> 00:21:17,340 - Ew! - Now let's go to Danceteria! 541 00:21:17,350 --> 00:21:18,860 This place is so last weekend. 542 00:21:18,870 --> 00:21:20,250 They're letting anyone in. 543 00:21:20,270 --> 00:21:21,450 No offense. 544 00:21:21,540 --> 00:21:23,640 - Are you trying to get Jap slapped? - I will fucking knock 545 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,890 this Barbie bitch's head off the fucking neck. 546 00:21:25,950 --> 00:21:28,070 - Dawn, thank you so much for the talk. - Bye. 547 00:21:28,090 --> 00:21:29,360 You made me realize that Blair 548 00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:31,070 and I are perfect for each other. 549 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,420 Bye, Care Blair. 550 00:21:32,430 --> 00:21:34,310 Bye, guys. 551 00:21:34,410 --> 00:21:36,190 - Oh. - Wait for me, girls! 552 00:21:36,230 --> 00:21:38,090 Have fun, ladies! 553 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,430 What was that bullshit? 554 00:21:41,450 --> 00:21:43,190 It wasn't bullshit. 555 00:21:46,510 --> 00:21:48,590 I got to go. 556 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,780 Okay, well, good night. 557 00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:56,110 Fuck you, Mo. 558 00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:58,130 Eh, pbbt! Chicks, right? 559 00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,230 - You know what we need to do? - I can't marry Tiff. 560 00:22:00,290 --> 00:22:03,490 What do you... what do you mean you can't marry Tiff? 561 00:22:03,510 --> 00:22:04,570 Of course you're gonna marry Tiff. 562 00:22:04,580 --> 00:22:06,070 - You're not the boss of me. - Technically... 563 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,320 At work, yes, but Tiff is not work. 564 00:22:08,330 --> 00:22:09,980 I mean, yes, she can be very trying at times, 565 00:22:09,990 --> 00:22:12,290 but-but why are you so invested in my relationship? 566 00:22:12,310 --> 00:22:14,990 Because I am literally invested. 567 00:22:15,030 --> 00:22:16,070 What? 568 00:22:17,830 --> 00:22:20,230 Okay, I'm gonna confess something to you. 569 00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:21,320 I know. 570 00:22:21,330 --> 00:22:23,150 You fucked with the toothbrush in my desk. 571 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,010 But that is just a decoy, 572 00:22:25,020 --> 00:22:27,170 as is the toothbrush in the supply closet. 573 00:22:27,190 --> 00:22:29,190 - My real toothbrush... - Is in a Ziploc bag 574 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,440 in the bathroom in the ceiling tile, second stall. 575 00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:33,290 - Oh, dear God. - That's not the thing. 576 00:22:33,350 --> 00:22:35,400 Listen, Blair, I... 577 00:22:38,830 --> 00:22:41,280 Okay, when I said we were friends, 578 00:22:41,290 --> 00:22:44,560 that was real... I meant that. 579 00:22:44,570 --> 00:22:47,830 But the truth is, I've been playing you, kid... 580 00:22:47,870 --> 00:22:49,570 from the beginning. 581 00:22:49,580 --> 00:22:52,770 The coke, the arrest, it was... it was a con. 582 00:22:52,790 --> 00:22:54,740 I was trying to make sure that you worked for me 583 00:22:54,750 --> 00:22:57,560 so that I could, you know, work on getting those sweet, sweet 584 00:22:57,570 --> 00:22:59,460 ungettable Georgina family shares, 585 00:22:59,470 --> 00:23:01,190 but that was before we were boys. 586 00:23:01,210 --> 00:23:03,150 Now just listen. Before you say anything, 587 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,720 I want you to think, 'cause if there's one thing I know 588 00:23:04,730 --> 00:23:06,120 about you, it's that you're smart. 589 00:23:06,150 --> 00:23:09,630 Now, you just said that you cannot marry Tiff, right? 590 00:23:09,650 --> 00:23:12,400 So you're gonna break her heart anyway. 591 00:23:12,410 --> 00:23:15,490 I mean, why not give her the wedding of her dreams first? 592 00:23:15,580 --> 00:23:18,690 Let's run the Georgina play... me and you, 593 00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:20,280 together, as a team. 594 00:23:20,290 --> 00:23:21,820 It makes sense. 595 00:23:21,830 --> 00:23:23,520 I mean, it makes more than cents. 596 00:23:23,530 --> 00:23:25,790 It makes dollars. It makes tens of millions of dollars. 597 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:27,650 For us. For two guys who were never 598 00:23:27,660 --> 00:23:30,110 handed a fucking thing their whole goddamn lives. 599 00:23:33,410 --> 00:23:34,490 Let's do it. 600 00:23:34,550 --> 00:23:36,950 What do you say? 601 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,110 Fuck you. 602 00:23:45,370 --> 00:23:46,860 I'm gonna tell Tiff everything. 603 00:23:46,870 --> 00:23:49,460 And, Maurice... 604 00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:51,030 I quit. 605 00:24:04,870 --> 00:24:06,900 Oh, hey. What's up, man? Good to see you. 606 00:24:08,830 --> 00:24:12,090 Oh, well, well, well. Welcome, welcome. 607 00:24:12,130 --> 00:24:14,080 Mm. Sorry I'm late. 608 00:24:14,090 --> 00:24:17,360 - I, uh, I got caught up. - Hey, hey, no problemo, Kiki! 609 00:24:17,370 --> 00:24:19,570 Hey, um... 610 00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:21,940 I, um... 611 00:24:21,950 --> 00:24:24,190 Can I... can I give you something? 612 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,690 - Uh, yes? - Okay. I'll... just hold on here. 613 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:27,730 Okay. 614 00:24:27,740 --> 00:24:30,250 This, um, is very special to me. 615 00:24:30,310 --> 00:24:31,850 - I want you... - Mm! 616 00:24:31,910 --> 00:24:33,110 ... to have it. 617 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:34,900 - Oh, here, just... okay. - What is happening? 618 00:24:34,910 --> 00:24:36,550 All right, yeah. 619 00:24:36,630 --> 00:24:40,280 Yeah! Here, take a look. Take a look. 620 00:24:40,290 --> 00:24:42,900 - Oh! - You like it? 621 00:24:42,910 --> 00:24:44,710 Yeah, I love it. 622 00:24:44,810 --> 00:24:49,940 I want you to know that no matter what goes down... 623 00:24:49,950 --> 00:24:53,820 ... I will always love you. 624 00:24:53,830 --> 00:24:55,320 And you say I'm the dramatic one. 625 00:24:55,330 --> 00:24:56,600 - Well... - This is like a scene 626 00:24:56,610 --> 00:24:58,360 from "Steel Fagnolias." 627 00:24:58,370 --> 00:24:59,770 I would've said "Terms of Enqueerment." 628 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,370 - How dare you? - Oh, come on. 629 00:25:01,390 --> 00:25:02,440 Oh, here, drink your juice, Shelby. 630 00:25:02,450 --> 00:25:04,060 Oh, okay, yeah. "Help my daughter." 631 00:25:04,070 --> 00:25:05,630 - Okay. - Oh! 632 00:25:05,650 --> 00:25:06,900 Bingo. 633 00:25:18,580 --> 00:25:21,190 Listen, Spence. 634 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,030 - I'm sorry. - No, baby, I'm sorry. 635 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,440 You know, I've been sitting here, annoyed 636 00:25:26,450 --> 00:25:28,530 that we missed a night together. 637 00:25:28,540 --> 00:25:30,960 But work's a big part of who you are, 638 00:25:30,970 --> 00:25:32,690 and I love who you are. 639 00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:36,850 And I'll take however much of you I can get. 640 00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:40,190 Hey, at least you made it back in time for the comet. 641 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,970 I want a divorce. 642 00:25:48,210 --> 00:25:50,290 What? 643 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,190 Tiff? 644 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,280 - Oh, my God! Aah! - Tiff! 645 00:26:14,290 --> 00:26:17,030 Help me! Help me! Get your hands off me! 646 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:18,570 Oh! Ah! 647 00:26:18,580 --> 00:26:20,900 Blair, call my dad! 648 00:26:20,910 --> 00:26:22,440 Tiff! 649 00:26:27,700 --> 00:26:32,700 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 47861

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