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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,750 --> 00:00:05,909 The girl from last night? We did it. You are pregnant. 2 00:00:05,956 --> 00:00:08,493 He was 16. Little bastard. 3 00:00:08,595 --> 00:00:12,034 You said you wanted to be involved. So, you're involved. 4 00:00:12,035 --> 00:00:15,434 Why don't you chuck me out like you did with Dad when he shagged his secretary? 5 00:00:15,435 --> 00:00:17,074 How bloody dare you! 6 00:00:17,075 --> 00:00:18,154 Ah! 7 00:00:18,155 --> 00:00:20,714 God, Alan. Does that not hurt? 8 00:00:20,715 --> 00:00:22,194 Of course it hurts! 9 00:00:22,195 --> 00:00:24,834 Why don't you come and stay at ours this evening? Ah! 10 00:00:24,835 --> 00:00:27,675 I can't be around this now. It's bad for me, it's bad for the baby. 11 00:00:27,675 --> 00:00:29,595 I really think you're overreacting, Laura. 12 00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,434 Someone take this, please. 13 00:00:31,435 --> 00:00:32,915 You'll be OK in here? 14 00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:34,275 Fine. 15 00:01:09,915 --> 00:01:11,835 No. No. 16 00:01:25,155 --> 00:01:26,315 Jamie. 17 00:01:27,675 --> 00:01:28,955 Jamie. 18 00:01:30,395 --> 00:01:32,795 Jamie. Wake up, you lazy sod. 19 00:01:32,795 --> 00:01:33,835 Don't disturb him. 20 00:01:33,836 --> 00:01:35,874 He's in my seat. 21 00:01:35,875 --> 00:01:38,394 That's where I have my tea and the paper. It's my routine. 22 00:01:38,395 --> 00:01:42,074 Use the beanbag. I hate the beanbag. I can't get leverage on my toast. 23 00:01:42,075 --> 00:01:44,435 It's comfy. Why can't he sleep on it, then? 24 00:01:44,435 --> 00:01:46,675 Cos he's your son, he's not a bloody cat. 25 00:01:48,755 --> 00:01:51,794 How long's Bride of Frankenstein going to be here, anyway? 26 00:01:51,795 --> 00:01:54,274 I don't know. A couple more days, a week. 27 00:01:54,275 --> 00:01:56,714 San, she's been here eight weeks already. 28 00:01:56,715 --> 00:02:00,074 It's not that bad. And her obsessive cleaning's a real timesaver for me. 29 00:02:00,075 --> 00:02:02,074 I don't care. We've got to say something. 30 00:02:02,075 --> 00:02:04,355 All right, but leave it to me. 31 00:02:04,355 --> 00:02:07,835 And switch on the immersion heater. Laura's having a shower. 32 00:02:14,155 --> 00:02:16,035 Oh, God. Sorry, son. 33 00:02:17,675 --> 00:02:18,995 Oh, well, you're up now. 34 00:02:22,315 --> 00:02:25,034 I may have a couple more minutes. Whoa, no, come on. 35 00:02:25,035 --> 00:02:26,834 Go and get that jam off your face. 36 00:02:26,835 --> 00:02:30,154 And hurry up, you don't want to be late for work. 37 00:02:30,155 --> 00:02:32,195 Oh, God, work. Yeah. 38 00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:34,675 Stick the immersion on, there's a good lad. 39 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,474 Ah! 40 00:02:43,475 --> 00:02:45,674 Oh, God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 41 00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:52,155 I mean, obviously, I saw something, 42 00:02:52,155 --> 00:02:55,395 but it isn't like I've not seen it before, albeit just the once, but... 43 00:02:57,835 --> 00:02:59,955 I'm sorry. Huh! 44 00:03:01,195 --> 00:03:02,235 There is a lock. 45 00:03:03,515 --> 00:03:05,755 Little, brass thing on the door. 46 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,355 Aaah. 47 00:03:17,795 --> 00:03:21,595 Oh, Keith. Oh, you're really spoiling me. 48 00:03:23,795 --> 00:03:26,075 Oh, that's so thoughtful. 49 00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:29,435 Yeah, no problem, love. 50 00:03:33,315 --> 00:03:36,195 Everybody's just being so nice to me. 51 00:03:37,555 --> 00:03:42,995 It's just really... nice. 52 00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:50,315 Hey, don't be like that. 53 00:03:51,795 --> 00:03:54,194 Hey, it's all right. Don't... 54 00:03:54,195 --> 00:03:57,754 Oh, God, what is wrong with me? It's only a piece of toast. 55 00:03:57,755 --> 00:04:01,714 It's just the hormones, love. You'll be all right. 56 00:04:01,715 --> 00:04:04,955 So stupid. Look at me crying. 57 00:04:04,955 --> 00:04:06,395 Say something. 58 00:04:09,675 --> 00:04:13,074 Laura, love, you've been here for a while 59 00:04:13,075 --> 00:04:16,594 and we were just wondering about your plans? 60 00:04:16,595 --> 00:04:18,314 My plans? You know, like, say, 61 00:04:18,315 --> 00:04:21,474 where were you planning to be for, say, Christmas? 62 00:04:21,475 --> 00:04:27,834 Oh! Sandra, that is so nice. I would love to spend it here. 63 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:30,955 I was getting really worried that I was overstaying my welcome. 64 00:04:30,955 --> 00:04:34,315 OK. That is so kind of you. 65 00:04:38,755 --> 00:04:43,554 I have to say, I wasn't expecting to see you two again. 66 00:04:43,555 --> 00:04:46,234 Well, I think the fact that we're seeing you again 67 00:04:46,235 --> 00:04:49,034 reflects how committed we are to making this work. 68 00:04:49,035 --> 00:04:52,474 Thank you, Alan. I take that as a compliment. 69 00:04:52,475 --> 00:04:54,074 Mmmm. 70 00:04:54,075 --> 00:04:55,714 Let's get started, shall we? 71 00:04:55,715 --> 00:05:00,594 I want you to see your relationship as a continuum. 72 00:05:00,595 --> 00:05:06,554 So, we start here, where you met and you fell in love 73 00:05:06,555 --> 00:05:08,354 and you're both happy. 74 00:05:08,355 --> 00:05:11,874 Then, there's all this other stuff in the middle, 75 00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:16,034 children, careers, mortgages. 76 00:05:16,035 --> 00:05:18,315 Affairs. Affairs, thank you, Janet. 77 00:05:18,315 --> 00:05:21,075 Remember what we said about blame. 78 00:05:23,195 --> 00:05:28,475 OK, and then, lately, there's these Laura issues. 79 00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:33,514 And then, we're here, where we are now, 80 00:05:33,515 --> 00:05:41,315 where nobody's happy and Alan has a carving fork in his foot. 81 00:05:41,315 --> 00:05:46,715 You need to find that thing that you lost along the way. 82 00:05:47,755 --> 00:05:49,955 You need to rediscover the spark. 83 00:05:51,195 --> 00:05:54,835 So, you think this spark is under the squiggle? 84 00:05:54,835 --> 00:05:56,155 Precisely. 85 00:06:02,715 --> 00:06:06,514 Yeah, er, sorry, what is your advice, exactly? 86 00:06:06,515 --> 00:06:08,714 Go on a date. 87 00:06:08,715 --> 00:06:14,634 In fact, go on several dates. Allow yourselves to be romantic. 88 00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:19,314 You really think dinner and a movie is going to fix this? 89 00:06:19,315 --> 00:06:22,234 It's the ceremony of courtship that matters. 90 00:06:22,235 --> 00:06:27,354 Don't underestimate the power of concentrating your attention 91 00:06:27,355 --> 00:06:32,795 exclusively on one person, instead of spreading it around. 92 00:06:32,795 --> 00:06:34,795 And well done for not biting on that, Janet. 93 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,919 I feel amazing. 94 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,959 It's not until you experience pregnancy that you understand 95 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:56,279 how it can be. I just, oh, I feel beautiful. 96 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:59,359 Really? Yeah. And people pick up on it. 97 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:04,839 I just feel like, like I have this warm glow all around me. 98 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:09,280 Uh-huh. Awww. Aww. 99 00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:12,920 Oh, yeah, adorable. 100 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,679 So, aren't Jamie's lot sick of having you there? 101 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,079 No, they love having me. And it's so nice to be in a place 102 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,599 where you actually feel wanted. 103 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,520 You can't stay in a teenage boy's bedroom forever. 104 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:30,520 I know, but, Dan, I'm happy. And I just... 105 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:36,559 I feel like it's all going to work out. 106 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,999 Oh, now, come with, come help me try on maternity jeans. 107 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,999 Yeah, I can't do that. Oh, have you got to be somewhere? 108 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,120 No, I just can't do that. I'm going to give you these. 109 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,520 Oh. And then I'm going to... 110 00:07:47,521 --> 00:07:50,799 Oh, OK. But, so, I'll call you in the week? 111 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:54,879 Yeah, definitely. OK. Bye. Bye. 112 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,159 She's like a parasite. Yeah. We haven't been to his in ages. 113 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,519 She has to accept he's got other friends. I miss him, Beth. 114 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,799 And I miss Xbox Thursdays. 115 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,360 You do realise you're the only one who calls it that? 116 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,720 What do you call it? Thursday. 117 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,519 Hey, Beth, Beth. 118 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,239 Oh, my God. Look, look. Who's this? Ready? 119 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,079 Urrrrgh. 120 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,559 It's coming. 121 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:26,279 Is that how you were born? Head-first over a hard surface. 122 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:30,919 Jamie. Jamie, think fast. 123 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:32,520 Doesn't bode well, does it? 124 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,720 I'm not expecting someone to throw the kid at me. 125 00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:37,919 It depends on the birth, doesn't it? What are you doing here? 126 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:40,519 We want to know why you've been avoiding us. I'm not. 127 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,559 Oh, great, so you won't mind if we come to yours tonight, then? 128 00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:47,080 It's a bit awkward with Laura there. It's a bit crowded round ours. 129 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,000 See, that's what I'm talking about. 130 00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:52,519 Jamie, you can't spend the rest of your life worrying about some pregnant woman. 131 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,840 I think there's a time limit on it. And it's, sort of, my responsibility. 132 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,080 Yeah, it kind of sounds like she made you her bitch. 133 00:08:58,081 --> 00:09:00,120 I'm not her bitch. 134 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,840 Oh, Jamie. Take these. 135 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,120 And that one, it's heavy. OK, take that. 136 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,720 Oh. Mike, Beth, this is Laura. 137 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,280 Never would have guessed. 138 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,839 This is Beth and Mike. Hi. 139 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,440 Have we met? 140 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,920 Not exactly. Although I did see you at the party when... 141 00:09:19,921 --> 00:09:22,399 So, I should just get on. 142 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,719 Cos I've got 300 velociraptors to stack. 143 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,359 Yeah, I'm not going to stop. 144 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,079 Jamie, could you take these, please, and pay for them as well. 145 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,719 I get a staff discount. 146 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,999 Oh, how convenient for you. 147 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:37,359 So, Laura, we were thinking of coming over to Jamie's tonight. 148 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,239 You wouldn't mind, would you? 149 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,839 Oh, yeah, yeah, no, that's fine. Be nice to get to know you. 150 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,320 Cool. All right, see you later. 151 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,080 Yeah. Bye. Bye. Bye. 152 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,360 You were saying something about not being her bitch? 153 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,200 Hmm? 154 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:59,400 Buy you that tie. You were going to buy me a tie. 155 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,520 Idiot. 156 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,159 Hello. 157 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,239 Do you have a reservation? 158 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,479 Yes, Derbyshire. 159 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,519 Oh, we were expecting you earlier. 160 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,680 Yes, so were we. Our sat nav took us the wrong way. 161 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:27,158 I put in the address correctly. 162 00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:29,560 Don't worry. Lots of people have trouble finding us. 163 00:10:29,561 --> 00:10:32,119 The postcode is actually wrong on the website. 164 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,599 You see, Alan, the postcode's wrong on the website. 165 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,639 Did you end up on the industrial estate? 166 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:38,880 Yes. 167 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,000 Yes. 168 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,759 Honestly, the number of people we get in here saying that. 169 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,240 Right. And you don't think it might be a good idea to change it? 170 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,560 Absolutely. I'll make a note of it. 171 00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:56,079 Right, you're on the all-inclusive package. 172 00:10:56,080 --> 00:11:00,119 And I'm afraid you've just missed the last sitting for lunch. 173 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,999 Yes, but we've paid for our lunch. Yes, but as you can see, 174 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:07,839 it does state here that the last sitting for lunch is at 2:15pm. 175 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,479 Yes, it also clearly states 176 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,919 that your address is a powder coating workshop. 177 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,519 As I say, that is not my department, but I will make a note of it. 178 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,479 Well, go on then. 179 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,680 Go on then, what? Make a note of it. 180 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,880 Just a turn of phrase. 181 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,080 You're on the fourth floor, room 46. 182 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,320 Oh. Where have the Hobnobs gone? 183 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,040 They were out of date, I binned them. 184 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,159 Have you moved my tea? 185 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,719 I thought you'd finished, it was half empty. 186 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,639 It was half full. 187 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,200 Hiya. 188 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,560 Hi. Ooh, did you get my magazines? Erm. 189 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,120 There you go. Great. 190 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,280 Oh, I got my discount. 191 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,520 Oh, good. Do you want to give me the cash now or...? 192 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,759 The cash for the things for our baby? 193 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,639 No, no. 194 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,159 I just thought maybe I could get the money for the jeans? 195 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,559 The maternity jeans. 196 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,119 Err, yeah. 197 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:30,079 The maternity jeans with the elasticated waistband that I need 198 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:33,279 because you got me pregnant and I have your baby growing inside of me. 199 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:36,000 They're the ones. 200 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:41,640 Says here, just over ?60 with the discount. 201 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,400 Whenever's fine, really, just... 202 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,759 Laura? Hmm? Did you wash the phone? 203 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,279 No. I don't think so. 204 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:00,400 You did the washing-up, though? 205 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,040 I think I would have remembered if I did that. 206 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,719 I guess it could have been any one of us. Yeah, any one of us 207 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,559 who's been at home all afternoon washing the electrical items. 208 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:16,000 Keith, I thought maybe we'd go to the pub for dinner, just you and me, 209 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,160 get out of the house, give everyone a bit of space. 210 00:13:18,161 --> 00:13:21,760 Yeah, that's a great idea. In fact, let's go early. 211 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,720 You two'll be all right for a bit of dinner? 212 00:13:23,721 --> 00:13:25,399 San, are you ready? Erm. 213 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,759 Get some pizza, OK? 214 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,800 Cheers, Mum. Sandra, I'm going! All right, I'm coming. 215 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,120 Are you done with that? Erm. 216 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,360 Yeah. 217 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:41,119 No, we asked for a double, not a twin. 218 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,359 Right, right, you're going to make a note of it. 219 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,199 Why does that not surprise me? Yes. 220 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:50,440 They can give us a double room if we move, but the view's not as good. 221 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,160 Wh...? Not as good as that? 222 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,680 Yes, I'm still here. 223 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,000 No. 224 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,920 Can you see how adjoining single rooms 225 00:14:01,921 --> 00:14:05,079 might be a step in the wrong direction? 226 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:10,520 Things are going marvellously. I can feel us getting closer already! 227 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,040 No. No, no. 228 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:20,759 Hiya, come in. Oh. Oh, it's good to see you. 229 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,440 How's the dictator? She's not a dictator. 230 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,680 Jamie, could you ask them to take their shoes off. 231 00:14:25,681 --> 00:14:27,200 I vacuumed earlier. 232 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,080 If you could. 233 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,399 So, how much do you weigh now, Laura? 234 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,799 Cos you look massive. 235 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:52,399 Oh. I don't know. I haven't weighed myself recently. 236 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,999 What do you think? 12 stone? 14? 237 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,039 Beth! 238 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,639 No, I'm saying it's good. 239 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:01,400 You're eating for two or three or however many it is. 240 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,640 Try it now, Jamie. 241 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,519 No. Oh, dammit. 242 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,479 So, how was work, Jamie? 243 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,720 Usual, stacked shelves, got bitten by an eight-year-old. 244 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,240 Now? No. 245 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,720 You must be coining it in with all those extra shifts, though. 246 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,080 I suppose they'll be going towards the baby, right? 247 00:15:22,081 --> 00:15:24,639 Well, there's a lot of things to buy. And it's not cheap. 248 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,359 It's just you working, isn't it? Not you, Laura. You don't work. 249 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,080 Not at the moment. You basically do nothing, then? 250 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,400 No, Laura helps out around the house quite a lot. 251 00:15:32,401 --> 00:15:33,919 Is that it? 252 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:35,799 So, you're, like, the breadwinner 253 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,919 while Laura's, sort of, a kept woman. 254 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,040 Do you think you'll ever work, Laura? OK. 255 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,800 I'm going for pizza. Beth, you're coming with. 256 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,919 Oh. Yes. 257 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:51,240 Oh. Let's go. Hee-hee. Let's roll. 258 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,880 Come on, then. 259 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,000 What the hell is your problem? 260 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,400 All right, Jamie, I've tried to be discreet about it, 261 00:16:00,401 --> 00:16:02,559 but my problem is, she's fucking up your life. 262 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,079 Right, well, firstly, you weren't that discreet. 263 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,759 And secondly, that thing she's fucking up, 264 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,199 that is not my life any more. Look at you. 265 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,079 You're sleeping on a sofa, you hardly see your friends, 266 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:16,240 you're carrying her shopping like some pathetic, castrated butler. 267 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,718 Is that what you want? Course that's not what I want. 268 00:16:18,719 --> 00:16:20,680 So, stop falling into the trap, OK? 269 00:16:20,681 --> 00:16:23,199 Otherwise she'll keep wheeling out this pregnancy thing, 270 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,719 every time she wants something. 271 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,720 Well, she's kind of got a point, hasn't she? 272 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:30,000 We're having a kid. Don't make me choose, OK? 273 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,880 And pick a pizza. 274 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,759 So, accelerate and brake. 275 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:42,480 What do these ones do? You don't need to worry about them. 276 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,680 Because I'm just a girl? Yes. 277 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:53,359 This might sound a little bit weird, 278 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,919 but could I just feel the baby kicking? 279 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,439 Absolutely not. OK. 280 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,880 What if I was to just talk to it, you know? 281 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,640 Get it used to little Uncle Mike's voice. 282 00:17:02,641 --> 00:17:05,919 Wow, that's actually creepier. 283 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:10,999 Listen, Laura, we're going to be in each other's lives from now on, so... 284 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:15,119 Not necessarily. Yeah, cos, well, Jamie's got his friends 285 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,159 and you've got yours. 286 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,199 And the two groups need to bond, for the sake of the baby. 287 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,439 Now, if that means you have to fix me up with one of your friends, 288 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,199 so be it. That's not happening. 289 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,040 I'll give you my number, just in case. 290 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,360 Anything I can do to give the kid a good start in life. 291 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:38,279 I prefer redheads if it helps. I'm not going to take that. 292 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,359 Well, it's a child welfare issue, really. No. 293 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,439 Why not? Well, although I don't know you that well, 294 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,919 you basically seem to be a freak. 295 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:49,200 And I wouldn't inflict you on any of my friends or even acquaintances. 296 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,280 Right. Fair enough. 297 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:03,779 Look, I know you're just looking out for me, OK, 298 00:18:03,780 --> 00:18:05,499 but I actually want to do this. 299 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,459 I mean, she is my... 300 00:18:07,460 --> 00:18:10,339 She's your what? I don't know. 301 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,499 But do me a favour and go easy on her. 302 00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:14,699 She's really vulnerable at the moment. 303 00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:17,179 Your ass is mine now, gayboy! 304 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,859 No, no, no, nooo! 305 00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:24,259 Ahh, Mike, she's right on your tail. Bollocks to that, 306 00:18:24,260 --> 00:18:26,179 I'm about to lap the bitch! 307 00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:27,459 Eeeeh! 308 00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:30,059 Yes, in your face! 309 00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:33,100 Burn, you little freak. Burn! 310 00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:34,340 It's not... 311 00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:38,660 I didn't even want to play with you. It's not fair, man. 312 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,620 What? It's not fair cos you suck at this game? 313 00:18:40,621 --> 00:18:42,699 No, you suck. You suck. 314 00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:45,859 Why are you even here? We were fine before you muscled in. 315 00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:48,979 Mike. Muscled in? You think I want to be here playing computer games, 316 00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:51,020 eating pizza with you losers? 317 00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:53,498 Don't call them losers! They're not winners, are they? 318 00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:55,420 At least we're not knocked up and homeless. 319 00:18:55,421 --> 00:18:57,859 Oh! You... Ah. 320 00:18:57,860 --> 00:18:59,859 What's the matter? Are you OK? 321 00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:01,619 Ah! Does it look like I'm OK? 322 00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:03,819 Oh, God. Is it a contraction? It's not time. 323 00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:06,979 I know. Should I call an ambulance? I don't know. I haven't done this before. 324 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,939 What's your natural instinct telling you? How should I know? 325 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:13,179 I'm not a bloody panda! Just call the ambulance! 326 00:19:13,180 --> 00:19:15,219 Ow! Oh! 327 00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:16,699 I need a charger. 328 00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:19,219 Use the landline! 329 00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:20,979 Ow. 330 00:19:20,980 --> 00:19:23,819 Wh...? It's... 331 00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:25,259 It wasn't me. 332 00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:27,579 It's OK, I've got 999 on speed dial. 333 00:19:27,580 --> 00:19:33,300 Ow! Ooh. Menu, contacts. Ow. Business. 334 00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:35,738 Why is this happening now? This shouldn't be happening. 335 00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:37,938 Oh, I'm sorry, is it not a convenient time for you? 336 00:19:37,939 --> 00:19:40,260 I'll ask it to stay up there till you're ready, shall I? 337 00:19:40,261 --> 00:19:43,259 All right. All right. I'm sorry, OK. Don't panic. Don't panic! 338 00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:46,259 The ambulance is coming. Mike! I can't get reception. 339 00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:49,980 Well, just, just... Ow. 340 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,820 OK, keep breathing. 341 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,180 Yes. I've got two bars. 342 00:19:57,620 --> 00:19:59,700 Yes, ambulance please. 343 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,780 They've gone again. 344 00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:08,300 Hello? 345 00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:13,459 OK. Don't worry, Jamie love, we'll be right there. 346 00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:16,340 It's Laura. We're going. OK, let's go. 347 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,380 Keith, come on! 348 00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,259 So, what do you reckon? 349 00:20:32,260 --> 00:20:37,339 Depressive banker and East European gold digger? 350 00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:40,539 That looks like a second marriage. 351 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:43,339 Hope over experience and all that. 352 00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:47,139 And to our right, the furious, impotent dentist 353 00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:49,900 and the nurse he fell in love with. 354 00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:51,860 And rinse, please. 355 00:20:54,260 --> 00:20:55,460 What? 356 00:20:55,460 --> 00:20:56,540 What's wrong? 357 00:20:59,140 --> 00:21:02,339 They're us. They're not us. They are. 358 00:21:02,340 --> 00:21:04,779 This is the ceremony. 359 00:21:04,780 --> 00:21:07,699 You come here, you argue in front of witnesses, 360 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:13,260 you finally realise you can't stand each other, you go home and get back in touch with your divorce lawyer. 361 00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:15,260 What do you mean, back in touch? 362 00:21:16,940 --> 00:21:20,780 You saw a divorce lawyer? Yes. 363 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:24,260 When? Oh, I don't know, early on. 364 00:21:27,780 --> 00:21:30,380 You're not telling me you didn't consult someone, are you? 365 00:21:30,380 --> 00:21:31,980 Never. 366 00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:37,219 I mean, look, I'm a stupid, vain man, 367 00:21:37,220 --> 00:21:39,660 I never didn't want to be married to you. 368 00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:42,020 That's why I tried so hard to cover it up. 369 00:21:45,980 --> 00:21:48,220 One of us supposed to throw wine now? 370 00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:53,460 God, I don't want to be one of them. 371 00:21:55,180 --> 00:21:56,980 Do you? 372 00:22:01,300 --> 00:22:04,259 And I'm sorry you're leaving us early. 373 00:22:04,260 --> 00:22:06,339 Yes, we really couldn't stay any longer. 374 00:22:06,340 --> 00:22:09,499 Oh, well, I do hope you still enjoyed your stay. 375 00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:11,820 I think it may have saved our marriage. 376 00:22:11,820 --> 00:22:13,140 Right. 377 00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:23,020 And yet, still no tip. 378 00:22:28,144 --> 00:22:31,103 OK, people, don't worry. Oh. I've googled giving birth, 379 00:22:31,104 --> 00:22:32,783 I know what to do. Laura love, 380 00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:36,464 I'm just going to check how dilated you are. Ah! Ow! Ah, good. 381 00:22:36,464 --> 00:22:38,184 Beth, do you want to have a look up there? 382 00:22:38,185 --> 00:22:39,984 I am not looking up there. 383 00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:41,384 Nobody's looking up there! 384 00:22:41,385 --> 00:22:44,943 OK, OK, let's just all stop panicking for a moment and... 385 00:22:44,944 --> 00:22:47,103 Hello? Oh, thank God. 386 00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:49,943 I'm going to hand this over to Mum. 387 00:22:49,944 --> 00:22:54,343 Good job. All right, calm down, love. Keith get her a drink of water. 388 00:22:54,344 --> 00:22:56,903 Are they getting closer together? I don't know. 389 00:22:56,904 --> 00:22:59,063 Are they getting stronger? I don't think so, no. 390 00:22:59,064 --> 00:23:01,583 OK, then, I don't think you need to worry. 391 00:23:01,584 --> 00:23:03,624 These are probably just Braxton Hicks. 392 00:23:03,624 --> 00:23:05,822 They're practice contractions to get you in shape. 393 00:23:05,823 --> 00:23:07,744 I'm not having the baby. No, I don't think so, 394 00:23:07,745 --> 00:23:10,103 but we'll keep an eye on them. 395 00:23:10,104 --> 00:23:12,543 When was the last time you felt one? 396 00:23:12,544 --> 00:23:14,983 Just before I hit the geek. When was that, Mike? 397 00:23:14,984 --> 00:23:18,904 About a minute ago. OK, come on, love, it's all right. 398 00:23:18,904 --> 00:23:22,944 Come on. You're all right. Oh. 399 00:23:33,224 --> 00:23:34,464 Oh, no. 400 00:23:40,864 --> 00:23:42,904 Hello, Janet. 401 00:23:42,904 --> 00:23:44,784 Thanks so much for coming. 402 00:23:46,984 --> 00:23:49,503 You know, you can't make me come home, Mum. 403 00:23:49,504 --> 00:23:51,823 Oh, we don't want you to. What? 404 00:23:51,824 --> 00:23:54,103 Oh, well, of course, you CAN come home. 405 00:23:54,104 --> 00:23:56,743 But we won't try to force you, darling, not if you don't want to. 406 00:23:56,744 --> 00:23:59,783 Look, I think Sandra asked me over here today, 407 00:23:59,784 --> 00:24:01,424 to talk you into coming home. 408 00:24:01,424 --> 00:24:02,744 But if you're happy here, 409 00:24:02,745 --> 00:24:06,343 I can completely understand if you want to stay. 410 00:24:06,344 --> 00:24:08,104 Well, I was happy. 411 00:24:08,104 --> 00:24:09,344 Well, that's good. 412 00:24:09,345 --> 00:24:14,023 Look, if you want, I'll tell Sandra that I couldn't convince you. OK? 413 00:24:14,024 --> 00:24:16,664 Anyone fancy a biscuit? 414 00:24:16,664 --> 00:24:19,184 Oh, how lovely. 415 00:24:33,584 --> 00:24:36,464 Hey. Sorry I missed your mum. 416 00:24:39,424 --> 00:24:41,503 You all right? 417 00:24:41,504 --> 00:24:45,424 No. I don't know what I'm doing. 418 00:24:45,424 --> 00:24:48,864 Your mum doesn't want me here. My mum doesn't want me at home. 419 00:24:50,064 --> 00:24:52,664 Hey, come on. 420 00:24:55,824 --> 00:24:58,063 It'll be OK. 421 00:24:58,064 --> 00:25:01,863 You must hate me too. I called you and your friends losers. 422 00:25:01,864 --> 00:25:05,664 It's fine, they're used to it. No, it's not. 423 00:25:05,664 --> 00:25:08,784 And Beth's right, I'm homeless and I'm pregnant. 424 00:25:10,504 --> 00:25:11,624 It's just... 425 00:25:13,264 --> 00:25:17,863 when I thought it was coming and I didn't know what would happen, 426 00:25:17,864 --> 00:25:19,944 I got really scared. 427 00:25:19,944 --> 00:25:21,024 Yeah, me too. 428 00:25:23,864 --> 00:25:26,783 Pretty soon, it's actually going to be coming 429 00:25:26,784 --> 00:25:28,663 and then, it's going to be here 430 00:25:28,664 --> 00:25:31,663 and then, what the hell am I supposed to do? 431 00:25:31,664 --> 00:25:34,343 Oh, God, I don't know. I really don't know. 432 00:25:34,344 --> 00:25:36,663 You're meant to be reassuring me here. 433 00:25:36,664 --> 00:25:39,504 Could you try a bit harder, please? Oh, I'm sorry. 434 00:25:39,504 --> 00:25:42,624 What I mean is, I don't know... 435 00:25:43,624 --> 00:25:46,384 but we'll work it out. 436 00:25:48,144 --> 00:25:49,424 Whatever happens. 437 00:26:01,424 --> 00:26:03,224 Laura love, did you bin my...? 438 00:26:03,224 --> 00:26:04,864 Oh, God! Dad! 439 00:26:06,584 --> 00:26:07,704 Oh. 440 00:26:11,704 --> 00:26:13,103 What's the matter? 441 00:26:13,104 --> 00:26:17,304 I just saw Laura and Jamie, you know. 442 00:26:17,304 --> 00:26:18,704 What? 443 00:26:20,104 --> 00:26:21,983 No, no, just snogging. 444 00:26:21,984 --> 00:26:25,383 What did you do? Nothing. Just closed the door. 445 00:26:25,384 --> 00:26:30,183 Why? What should I do? Well, you can't just pretend it didn't happen. 446 00:26:30,184 --> 00:26:32,943 All right then, if you say so. No, Keith! 447 00:26:32,944 --> 00:26:35,184 Jamie, now, I don't want to get heavy, 448 00:26:35,184 --> 00:26:38,624 but you know what we've said about having girls in the roo... 449 00:26:39,744 --> 00:26:42,703 Just ignore us. Would anyone like a cup of tea? 450 00:26:42,704 --> 00:26:43,904 No. Mum! 451 00:26:43,904 --> 00:26:45,264 Sorry. Sorry. 452 00:27:00,944 --> 00:27:02,424 Bye, Sandra, thank you. 453 00:27:02,424 --> 00:27:04,224 Come back any time, love. 454 00:27:07,504 --> 00:27:10,904 Bye, Keith. Yeah. Miss you, love. 455 00:27:13,784 --> 00:27:16,944 Bye. Bye. Bye, love. Bye. 456 00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:24,744 OK, so... 457 00:27:26,024 --> 00:27:28,223 You know you don't have to go. 458 00:27:28,224 --> 00:27:32,504 I think I do. I've probably been here long enough. 459 00:27:32,504 --> 00:27:35,664 Plus, with the kiss and everything. Yeah, absolutely. 460 00:27:36,744 --> 00:27:38,944 We wouldn't want things to get... Confusing? 461 00:27:38,944 --> 00:27:40,064 Exactly. 462 00:27:47,224 --> 00:27:50,744 OK, I'm going to go. Yeah, good idea. 463 00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:55,344 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35683

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