All language subtitles for Hang Ups s01e03.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:04,298 Promo. Let's do a promo. 2 00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:06,170 Welcome to your, er, first therapy session. 3 00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:08,206 When I was about 15 I had sex with my mum. 4 00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:11,008 Why haven't you got a vasectomy? I mean how many times have we been faffing around? 5 00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:12,454 Please get a vasectomy. 6 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,446 This is the situation. Mum needs somewhere to live. 7 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:15,948 RICHARD: So what are we going to do? 8 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,176 Why doesn't she just come and live with Richard... 9 00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:18,890 -Yup. -...for now. 10 00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,422 -It's Issy. She's got relationship problems again... -Oh. 11 00:00:20,486 --> 00:00:22,286 Tell Mum I can't get involved in Issy's dramas. 12 00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:23,622 Have you ever cared for anyone before? 13 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,330 Yes, I care about a lot of people. 14 00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:27,325 -You've got the job! -Great! 15 00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,504 PETE: Action! 16 00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:32,326 Hello, I'm Richard Pitt. 17 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,695 -I'm a qualified therapist specializing in a wide... -JOSE: [On video call] Mr Pitt? 18 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:35,768 Mr Pitt? 19 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,099 Where is that coming from? Oh. 20 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,470 -JOSE: [Screaming] Mr Pitt? -Oh. Yes? 21 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,409 -Mr Pitt? -RICHARD: Yes, Jose? 22 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,240 -Yeah, he can't hear you. -He can't hear me. 23 00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:44,112 -Erm, press that button... -Right. 24 00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:45,447 -Or else he won't... -I've got it. 25 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,446 -Are you having a baby? -No! No, no, it's, er... 26 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,278 My mum's moving in and we need this to keep an eye on her... 27 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,822 PETE: Your mum's moving in here? RICHARD: Yes. 28 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,391 -Does Karen know? -No. 29 00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:54,692 -[Scoffs] -It's not helpful, Pete! It's not helpful. 30 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,788 Yeah, Jose? Jose? I think he's turned it off. 31 00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,728 Mr Pitt, I'm trying to talk to you 32 00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,533 -but you have to press the button, okay? -Yeah, I know that now. 33 00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:02,928 -Yeah. -JOSE: Okay. I'm going to see if it 34 00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:04,769 works through the house 35 00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:07,725 -So just let me know if you can hear me, okay? -Okay, all right. 36 00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:10,598 -JOSE: [Shouting] Mr Pitt, can you hear me? -Well, of course I can hear you! 37 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:11,914 -You're right there! -[Buzzer sounding] 38 00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,412 PETE: We're okay. Good. 39 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,937 -Hello? -Hi, it's Paulie Jones, estate agent. 40 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,139 I'm here for the valuation. 41 00:01:20,146 --> 00:01:22,046 Hi! Could you not be an estate agent? 42 00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:24,478 I don't want them to know. Can you say you're an interior designer? 43 00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:25,851 -Yeah. -Er, yeah, all right. [laughs] 44 00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:27,786 -And as quick as you can? -Yeah. 45 00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,694 -Just need to get some videos, some photos. -JOSE: Mr Pitt! Can you hear me? 46 00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:31,830 -[Mobile ringing] -I am on the first floor! 47 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,292 -Er... -JOSE: Mr Pitt! 48 00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:34,556 -Hey, man! -Just one second, I'm... 49 00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,531 -PAULIE: Here we go... -Yes, I can, Jose! 50 00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:39,503 -Okay, great! -Can you stop shouting! Who are you? 51 00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,996 Issy? Finally, you're up! You've got to clear out of that room. 52 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,872 -RICHARD: Your grandmother's moving into it. -ABS: Who's he? 53 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,737 -What's he doing? -Oh, he's not doing anything. 54 00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:47,506 -Coming through. -ISSY: Dad, are you joking? 55 00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:49,144 What do you mean that she's moving into my room? 56 00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:50,539 Mr Pitt, can you hear me? 57 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,381 RICHARD: Yes, I can hear you. Ricky! 58 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,775 -Get up! -ISSY: Dad! Explain to me, 59 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,477 -she's moving into my room? -PAULIE: Gracious, 60 00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:56,952 -with Scandinavian touches. -RICHARD: I can't explain... 61 00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:58,647 Come in here, I've got to test this baby monitor. 62 00:01:58,685 --> 00:01:59,785 -Baby monitor? What baby monitor? -ABS: Hello? 63 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,123 -What? -Hello? 64 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,821 -What do you want, Abs? -ABS: Hey, yeah... 65 00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:04,589 I was wondering what you were thinking of wearing to karaoke later. 66 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,288 I was thinking we could do fancy dress. What do you think? 67 00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:08,226 -No, I don't... I've got to go! -ABS: Richard! Richard... 68 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,534 Okay, you're grandmother's not very well, so she's going to move in here 69 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,301 -and she is going to stay in your room... -Why... 70 00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:13,365 -Mr Pitt? -Yes! 71 00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,673 This is complete shit! 72 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,295 Where am I supposed to stay then? 73 00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:17,569 Well, you spend most of your time sleeping at Zahra's. 74 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,071 -Stay there. -ZAHRA: Sleeping at mine? 75 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,409 What is he talking about? 76 00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:22,007 Dad! 77 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,812 -RICHARD: What did I say? -She hasn't been sleeping at Zahra's! 78 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,514 -She's been sleeping with her tutor! -Why didn't you tell me? 79 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:26,609 I did tell you! 80 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,177 -Why are you filming this, Pete? -It works! 81 00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,049 Pete, turn that off! 82 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,521 [theme music playing] 83 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:37,919 -[video call beeps] -I'm here now... 84 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,361 Quick! Quick, very much quick, because I am at work. 85 00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:42,700 So, let's go, go, go. I'll kick off, shall I? 86 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:43,929 Obviously, Nigel has been 87 00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,670 popping himself into other people's cubby holes. 88 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:49,303 That's, obviously, the main agenda, I'm assuming, for today. 89 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:50,599 Meaning Nigel has been... 90 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,614 Popping himself in other people's cubby holes. 91 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,206 I mean, you know, the thing is... 92 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:55,940 -[can popping open] -...I'm very liberal. 93 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,409 All holes are goals 94 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,451 and I... I understand that. 95 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,353 However, we do have our 96 00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:04,224 public image to think of and obviously, being in PR, I'm well aware that 97 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:07,820 it's manageable but I think if you're entering so many cubby holes it's very difficult to 98 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:11,088 cover one's trail, as it very much were. 99 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,531 Fiona, can I ask what you're drinking? 100 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:15,363 -It's just a very little gin and tonic. -Ah. 101 00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:17,431 Erm, alcohol in a session is very much 102 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,167 -a no-no... -Well, I have the constitution of a... 103 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:21,365 Of a small, Welsh pit pony 104 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,171 and I think I shall be fine. 105 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,473 -[Inhales] -Now, shall we quickly get on with the matters in hand? 106 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:28,409 So, the right, honourable Nigel is having an affair? 107 00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:31,511 Well, supposedly there is a front-runner. 108 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,148 And the front-runner is Robin. 109 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,153 -Robin? -Nigel's PA. 110 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,345 A young, young man in his prime. 111 00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:40,687 Vigorous, youthful, muscles like a hard paddle. 112 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:43,857 Smooth-grained and soft to the touch. 113 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:47,430 His thick hair, it's lustrous and shiny and 114 00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:49,663 I shouldn't wonder it smells of raspberries. 115 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,470 So, you're ambivalent about Nigel sleeping with a man? 116 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,873 Look, as I've said, a few drinks go down, 117 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,765 the blood all engorges the penis 118 00:03:56,803 --> 00:04:00,213 and they find themselves balls deep in a cubby hole. 119 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,980 Is it something to worry about? 120 00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:03,208 No. 121 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,413 Do we just need to manage it? Hell yes. 122 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:08,205 And that's the worry, is it? That this will come out? 123 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,078 -That he's having an affair with somebody or... -Yeah, I do see a little bit 124 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,894 of management being needed in terms of 125 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,490 the cubby hole situation. 126 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:19,029 I'm quite happy to stand by a nice gate somewhere in Surrey 127 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,492 and look a little bit mournful. 128 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,957 It's my duty, as the spouse of a parliamentary member. 129 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:27,573 And I think if we can contain this, I don't see there's really a problem. 130 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,068 [Video call ringing] 131 00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:33,006 -[Video call beeps] -Hello! Erm, how are you? You must be Nathan. 132 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,613 -Hi, Richard. -What brings you to therapy today? 133 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:39,009 Well, I got an email for like an introductory offer, 134 00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:40,805 -I suppose? -Yeah. 135 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,977 NATHAN: Well, I thought I'd follow up, just because, why not? 136 00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:45,149 RICHARD: Sure. 137 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,648 Er, well, tell me a bit about yourself. What's, er... What should I know about you? 138 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,388 Er, so I'm a 31-year-old. 139 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,925 Er, I'm a digital media, er, lecturer. 140 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,485 I live in West London. 141 00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,927 -Er... -Are you in a relationship at the moment? 142 00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:57,628 I am. I'm a few months into a new... 143 00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:01,268 -Yeah, relationship, I suppose you could call it. -Yeah. Well, that's wonderful! 144 00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:04,374 -Er, someone you met at work? -Er, yeah, she... She... 145 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,610 To be honest, she's one of my students, actually. 146 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,837 But, I mean, you said your "students", we're not talking... 147 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,212 -No, oh, God no, she's 19 years old. -Oh, 19! Fine. 148 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:14,254 -Oh, you lucky bastard! -[Cackles] 149 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,677 -Nineteen. And you're 31? -Well... 150 00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:18,453 It's perfectly acceptable. 151 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,524 She's an adult, and we all need to try and be open-minded. 152 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,932 Exactly. So, for example, the first time I saw Issy in class 153 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:28,261 I thought she was one of those problem kids who I can't get them to concentrate, 154 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,298 and how am I going to engage with her? 155 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,970 What was the... What was the name again? 156 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,103 Issy... Isabelle. 157 00:05:36,302 --> 00:05:39,112 -What college was this? -Er, at Hampton College. 158 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,312 It's funny because actually, we talked about this recently. 159 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:44,414 Teenagers, they're so experimental, and she herself... -Yeah, Nathan! 160 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,951 When you just said "teenager" it did alter my perception 161 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,054 of what is going on here. "Teenager"! 162 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,893 -Issy is a fully-formed adult. -Yeah... 163 00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:54,492 -And when I say "fully-formed", I mean... -She may seem fully-formed 164 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,691 but she's actually 19 and 19 is young. 165 00:05:56,790 --> 00:06:00,430 I'll bet if you look back at photos of you when you were 19, you'd go, "My God! [Laughs] 166 00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:02,233 "I thought I was so old 167 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,525 "but I was literally a child." 168 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,165 You seem a little uneasy 169 00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,872 about the relationship, which is fine but maybe we should talk... 170 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,865 -Yeah. -More about it. Do you have any other... 171 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,807 -If you like, look at the website. -[stammers] 172 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,243 That would be terrific. Thanks so much for calling, Nathan. 173 00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:15,940 -Have a good day. -[Video call disconnects] 174 00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,779 [Phone ringing] 175 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,011 [Ringtone sounding] 176 00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:21,747 Shit! 177 00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:25,289 Hey, oi! Hey, hey, hey! 178 00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:27,589 Did you set that up? 179 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,264 -I didn't! -Ricky! 180 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:31,119 -Yeah, I did. -You did! 181 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,394 Do you realise how unethical that is? 182 00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:33,728 Yeah, Dad, but I tried telling you! 183 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,630 You've put me in a really difficult position. 184 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:36,926 You... You could have just come clean. 185 00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:38,363 [Imitating mockingly] 186 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,132 I'll deal with it. 187 00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:42,797 Let's hope he doesn't call again. 188 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,813 -[Video call ringing] -Shut up! 189 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,337 -[Video call beeps] -Hi! 190 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,908 -Hi. -Is Mum there yet? 191 00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,306 -No. -Okay. 192 00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:53,147 -So, when's she coming. -Later. Tonight... 193 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,453 -[Mutters] -So what kind of stuff have you got to do for mum now? 194 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:56,979 Are you... Are you kind of going to be... 195 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,890 Does she... How does she go to the toilet and stuff? 196 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,492 Is she, like, able to just... 197 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,287 I mean, does she have to wear a nappy or anything like that? 198 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,892 -She's not an invalid, she's just... -Okay. 199 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,494 She's just... I've just got to keep her away from the pub. 200 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:06,926 -Okay, well that's... -I mean, I have 201 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,097 hired a carer... 202 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,099 -Good. -Who is quite expensive. 203 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,271 -Well, it's good. I mean, it's really good. -No, you're welcome. 204 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,173 -It's really good. I've had a... -You're welcome. 205 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,768 -...really productive day, just writing. -Oh, good. I'm glad you have. 206 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:17,940 -Yeah. -I feel like I've made a really... 207 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,111 A kind of big breakthrough 208 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,542 -in terms of just... -You find a pen? 209 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,213 -Sorry, that was sarcastic... -Yeah. 210 00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:26,050 -And I'm glad you had a breakthrough. -Thanks. 211 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,206 Er, and I've really got to get back to it, so I can't really stay 212 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,648 talking, talking, talking for long, but, like, erm... 213 00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,291 Good luck, and everything. And well done. 214 00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:34,185 -Yeah. -And you know, like, 215 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,994 -I mean, you know... -Okay, go back in your little Tupperware box, 216 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,086 -seal up the edges... -Is that what... 217 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,423 -Don't let the world in. -Yeah. 218 00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:39,861 -That's fine. -You don't know anything... 219 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,826 -We won't infect your world... -...about my life. 220 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,695 ...with our actual real-life issues. -And if you just need any, 221 00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,430 -you know, if you ever need anyone to come... -We'll leave you 222 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:47,568 -pristine. -...like help or babysit or anything, 223 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,268 -don't call me. -I kind of knew that. 224 00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:51,065 -Okay, bye. I hate you! -I hate you too! 225 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,407 -I hate you. Bye! -Bye! 226 00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:54,206 -[Video call hangs up] -[Video call ringing] 227 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,408 -Hey! -[Club music playing] 228 00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:58,142 -Ah, Abs. -How are you doing, Richard? 229 00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,811 -What are you doing? -I'm just getting a couple extra reps ins. 230 00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:02,047 What... What'd you want? 231 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,052 Congratulations on the vasectomy. 232 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,750 I've booked you in for Monday afternoon. 233 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,220 So Monday afternoon is V-day. 234 00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:10,188 You're... Why are you booking my vasectomy? 235 00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:14,256 At 3:00 today, you've got a phone consultation with the urologist. 236 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,357 She's the best ball doctor in the business. 237 00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:19,172 It's going to be off the chain! 238 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,502 Okay, dude. Peace. 239 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,097 -Peace. -[Video call hangs up] 240 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:22,198 -[Video call ringing] -[Video call beeps] 241 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,214 -[Video call ringing] -[Video call beeps] 242 00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:27,606 -Richard -Hi, Dad. 243 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,208 What can I do for you? 244 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,009 I'm just ringing to say that I've... I've... I'm going to take Mum in 245 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,511 -and it's all sorted and she's going to move in here. -I know. 246 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:34,620 You've told me. 247 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,248 I only need to be told something once. 248 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,052 Yeah, erm, the other thing was... 249 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:40,421 -Erm, this is a bit delicate because... -Don't waffle, Richard. 250 00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:41,686 -I'm sorry. I... -Straight to the point. 251 00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,992 Okay, you're... You're going to die. 252 00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,087 I know. Sorry, I'm just trying to get straight to the point. 253 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:49,332 You're going to die and I just wondered if you though of inheritance tax. 254 00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,659 Inheritance tax, Dad. 255 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:53,431 If you gift your children your property now, 256 00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:55,069 then there's no inheritance tax to pay. 257 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,395 -I know. -And that would really, 258 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:59,743 really help me and John and Katherine because 259 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,043 it would really financially benefit us. 260 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,406 [Inhales sharply] Richard. 261 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:05,911 -Yeah? -Who says I've 262 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,549 stopped having children. 263 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,081 Think about that. Bye! 264 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,093 -[Video call hangs up] -[Video call ringing] 265 00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:14,015 -[Video call beeps] -Er, 266 00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,517 thank you for taking this call. 267 00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,822 I'm calling because of something my father just said to me 268 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,231 and I really need to speak to you about it. 269 00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,563 He said, and I quote, 270 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:25,273 "Who says I've stopped having children?" 271 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,973 Did you feel like Pinocchio? Did you want to be 272 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,199 turned from a puppet into a real boy 273 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,514 and had Geppetto's real love for you? 274 00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,814 Yes. Yes, I do. I do, I feel wooden. 275 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:36,942 I feel... 276 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,210 I don't feel real. 277 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,781 He's doing something that I've been asked to 278 00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:43,077 give up. My wife wants me to have a vasectomy. 279 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:45,223 She's asking me to lose the power 280 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,291 to have children, and just at that moment, 281 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,720 and I don't think this is a coincidence, 282 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,892 just at that moment he threatens to have more. 283 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,125 You're imagining a collusion between 284 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:57,127 what your father is doing spermatically 285 00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,833 with what your wife has in mind 286 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:00,469 and they're not the same thing. 287 00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:02,404 Part of me understands yes, we don't want to have a child, 288 00:10:02,503 --> 00:10:04,513 that'd be about an absolutely nightmare. 289 00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,871 And we wouldn't be bound by contraception... 290 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,940 Is this because she's refusing to use contraception, 291 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,050 -or you don't want to use a condom or both? -[Sighs] 292 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,745 Well, I mean, I do use condoms. 293 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:14,824 But time is money. 294 00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,448 She's, you know... 295 00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:18,752 -And yet you are the conqueror in the bed. -RICHARD: Yeah. 296 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:19,849 Well, how long will that last? 297 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:21,724 As a man, 298 00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:24,022 once I've procreated, 299 00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:25,330 what does she need me for? 300 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,159 Well, first and foremost you are 301 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:30,901 essentially, a very anal being. 302 00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:31,931 That's true. 303 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,472 That requires no vasectomy. 304 00:10:33,534 --> 00:10:35,374 -That is true. -Victory. 305 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:37,799 -Everybody wins. -RICHARD: Yeah. 306 00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:40,114 I'm not going to be reduced. 307 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,613 Good. That's what you've arrived at. 308 00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:44,012 -I'm not going to be... -Snipped. 309 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,554 -Snipped. -E-mail her assistant 310 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,112 and say, "Fuck that, I'm not doing it". 311 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:48,180 Yeah, I'm not going to have it. 312 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,578 Revere the rectum. 313 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,790 -Yes! Thank you so much! -[Video call disconnects] 314 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,292 [Video call ringing] 315 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:54,486 -Hi, Neil. -Richard. 316 00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,188 -Hey, how are you? -I can't wait 317 00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,416 to get going in this next session, mate, to be honest. 318 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,531 -Oh, good. -I've thought of nothing else since last time. 319 00:11:00,594 --> 00:11:03,434 What... What particularly did, er, did it throw off for you? 320 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,726 Like, I never thought of anything before 321 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,672 and, like, I realised, "Oh, yeah"... 322 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:10,374 -Oh, okay. -"...that's why I'm like that." 323 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:14,013 So... So let's talk, maybe, about the world of work for you 324 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,740 and how that's been. 325 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,409 Did you go and do any training? Did you get some qualifications or... 326 00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:21,014 Sort of did various jobs. 327 00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:22,447 [Stammers] The sort of things, like, 328 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,152 nobbling horses, 329 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,987 you know, break into a stable and dose a horse up with something. 330 00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:29,393 And from there I thought, "I'm going to make money". 331 00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:32,085 So I went to London to try and get into, er, 332 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,325 -you know, into banking. -Okay. 333 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,900 You know, it was bullshitting, really... 334 00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,129 -Yeah. -I used to pretend I was a trader. 335 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,801 -Right. -I used to get my sister into 336 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,971 be an escort, and now I have meetings with these clients 337 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,514 from Singapore, places like that. 338 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,972 Just bullshit, base... I've always been good at that. 339 00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:49,378 You got your sister to be an escort? 340 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,609 Yeah, well she had never been to London before. 341 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:52,952 Oh, okay. 342 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,023 Yeah, from there I got into doing a bit of trading 343 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,478 and, this will surprise you... 344 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:59,293 -Will it? -The thing I liked most about trading 345 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,515 was the physicality of it. 346 00:12:01,622 --> 00:12:04,732 -How do you mean? -Because I became a derivatives trader... 347 00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,255 -Right. -...and it makes 348 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,327 such a difference 349 00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:10,861 if you add a level of threat and violence to the interaction. 350 00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,331 -I see. -This is where I came into my own, you know? 351 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,473 RICHARD: Right. And... 352 00:12:14,535 --> 00:12:16,765 And now you're in the loan... 353 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,370 -You're a loan-arranger. -Yeah. 354 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,274 What set of skills do you have there that's... 355 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,710 -That's helpful? -Oh, I'm good at maths. 356 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,635 -Right. -Oh, and some weaponry. 357 00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:25,914 -Do you... -You've got to be threatening, even without weaponry. 358 00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,649 -Do you enjoy that side of it? -It feels brilliant. 359 00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:31,022 Like, you know when you get someone by the neck? 360 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:34,191 -Tell me. -And then you squeeze their neck so hard 361 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,294 that their eyes start to bulge out a bit? 362 00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,219 Then they shit themselves, do you know that? 363 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,491 What, that's pleasurable? 364 00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,286 -So that... Yeah. -You enjoy that feeling? 365 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:44,457 -Yeah. -RICHARD: The thing is, Neil, 366 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,331 I'm starting to feel a little bit out of my depth here. 367 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,102 No, no, no, no. This is normal stuff. 368 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,968 -Well, I'm not sure just talking to me... -Shut up! 369 00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,403 -I'm not sure just... -Shut up! 370 00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:52,665 -I can't. -We are carrying on with this! 371 00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,309 I can't carry on with it, Neil. I can't. 372 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:55,444 I don't know what I'm doing with... 373 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,012 We are going on with this! 374 00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:58,613 -[Stammers] -NEIL: Well fucking carry on with it! 375 00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:00,552 Turn your back on me I'll fucking come around there 376 00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,754 and fucking kill you, mate! 377 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:03,475 -Do you get the message? -I can't... 378 00:13:03,584 --> 00:13:04,994 -I just... -See, you got me going there. 379 00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:06,851 -I don't want to get you going. -I didn't enjoy that. 380 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:08,447 -Didn't you? -I need it. You need to carry on with this. 381 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,818 -You need to carry on with this, mate. -Okay. 382 00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,490 Fucking hell! Why are you doing this to me? 383 00:13:11,592 --> 00:13:13,092 -I'm not doing anything to you. -Fuck! 384 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,656 Let me... Let me... Let me lay out where I think we are. 385 00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:15,928 All right, all right! 386 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,702 -Keep going. I'll take some money off. -Yes? 387 00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:19,271 -I'll take some money off the debt. -We'll, carry on. 388 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:20,732 I'll take some money off their debt, just carry on! 389 00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,697 -Okay, thanks, Neil. -[Groaning and screaming] 390 00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,269 [Video call disconnects] 391 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,209 [Keyboard clicking] 392 00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:35,254 [Footsteps approaching] 393 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,448 MAN: [On video] A vasectomy is male... 394 00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:37,950 -Erm... -MAN: ...sterilization. 395 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,848 RICHARD: Vasectomies. PETE: What the fucking hell? 396 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:41,887 -Oh! -Oh! 397 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,318 -Jesus! -Whoa. 398 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,033 PETE: Why the hell are you watching this? 399 00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:46,531 RICHARD: Karen's making me have one. 400 00:13:46,627 --> 00:13:48,287 Why, because you don't want to have any more children? 401 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,158 Er... We're not going to have children anyway. 402 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,773 - Not at our age. -PETE: Because Wendy's desperate to get pregnant. 403 00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,996 And she's naked, back home, just waiting. 404 00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:56,401 That's just two percent of lust. 405 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:57,803 Too much information. 406 00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,174 PETE: I probably should get one of these. 407 00:13:59,773 --> 00:14:01,113 Christ! 408 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,344 Yeah. 409 00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:04,383 -You should. -Huh? 410 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,650 You should get a vasectomy. 411 00:14:05,746 --> 00:14:07,176 Oh, you're joking. No. 412 00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:09,053 RICHARD: And if you get one pretending you're me, 413 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,249 then Karen's medical insurance will pay for it. 414 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,754 -MAN: [On video] ...sperm to clear out. -Okay. 415 00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:13,819 -Yeah? Yeah? -Yeah. Yeah. 416 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:14,924 -Yeah? Yeah? -Yeah. Yeah. 417 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,521 [Video call ringing] 418 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:17,823 -[Video call beeps] -Er, hello. 419 00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,491 -Er, hi. -Mr Pitt. 420 00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:21,433 Yes, this is... Well, I'm not Mr Pitt, this is Mr Pitt here. 421 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:22,834 -Sit down, Mr Pitt. Sit down. -PETE: No, I just... 422 00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,326 -No, I can't. -Mr Pitt? 423 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,904 PETE: I can't do it. 424 00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:27,432 -I'm Dr Mandal. -Good. 425 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,400 I'll be performing your vasectomy. 426 00:14:29,503 --> 00:14:32,773 -Okay. -Can I just confirm some details with you? 427 00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:35,836 -Yeah. -Okay, full name including any middle names? 428 00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:38,142 -Er, Richard... -RICHARD: [Whispers] James. 429 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,911 ...James Pitt. 430 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,780 Any health problems, or are you on a medication at the moment? 431 00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:45,089 -Any allergies? -[Whispering] I'm not going to do anything? 432 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,849 -Sorry? -No. 433 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:51,288 Okay. Are you aware of what the procedure entails? 434 00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,032 Just 435 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,363 tie it up and 436 00:14:55,696 --> 00:14:56,696 hope for the best. 437 00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,330 Erm, we can discuss that 438 00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,731 when you're in the clinic. 439 00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,943 -Yeah. -But we advise that you refrain from 440 00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,338 sexual intercourse 441 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,969 -or masturbation for... -Oh. Really? 442 00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:09,206 Er, yeah. From ten to 15 days after the procedure. 443 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,309 Fucking hell! 444 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:11,776 Is that going to be a problem? 445 00:15:11,812 --> 00:15:14,352 Sexual intercourse... Ooph. But 446 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,584 masturbation, that's quite a big deal in our house. 447 00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:19,251 -[Chuckles heartily] -Yeah. 448 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,292 Are you aware that you'll need to wax in advance? 449 00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:23,317 -[Richard chuckling softly] -Is that... [Clears throat] 450 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,893 -Are you all right? -Yeah. 451 00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:25,991 Okay. 452 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:27,329 So, erm, if you're happy 453 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,427 then we will see each other in the surgery. 454 00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,025 -Thank you. -All right, then. 455 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,667 -[Video call disconnects] -You made me! 456 00:15:32,733 --> 00:15:33,833 You made me do it! 457 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,340 -You've done it now. -This always happens! 458 00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:36,671 -You made me! -You're in. You're locked in. 459 00:15:36,737 --> 00:15:37,697 -You've got to go. -You can't do this again! 460 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,141 You're locked in. 461 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,772 It's like that time you made me nick from the corner shop. 462 00:15:40,874 --> 00:15:42,114 -You made me do it! -[Video call ringing] 463 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,575 -You're locked in! -And I had to... 464 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,380 -I can't do it! -You can. You're going to have to. 465 00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:47,211 PETE: You... RICHARD: Go on. Go and shave them. Wax them. 466 00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:48,883 -You made me! -Uh-huh. 467 00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,552 -PETE: The blood is on your hands! -[Video call beeps] 468 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,654 -Alison. -Richard. 469 00:15:52,686 --> 00:15:54,446 It's been eight weeks since our last session. 470 00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,091 It's... It's nine, actually. 471 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,319 -[Paper crinkles] -Because there were the group sessions 472 00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,494 -and then I spoke to you last week. -RICHARD: Right. 473 00:16:00,594 --> 00:16:02,364 So her death 474 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,962 -twenty years ago... -Twenty years. 475 00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:06,934 -...is still very foreground for you? -Of course. 476 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:09,867 -Yeah. -It seems to keep being reinvented, Richard. 477 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:13,306 -In your mind, or, or... -I think in the collective consciousness, actually. 478 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,313 -Mmm. -And you can see from her funeral 479 00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:18,175 just all of the different people who turned up and 480 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,251 everyone's got different perspectives of her. 481 00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:21,616 -Mmm. -She loved people. 482 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,748 You could see that she... 483 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,246 -Her face lit up... -In public, she did. 484 00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:27,351 Well, in private there wouldn't have been any people, 485 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,690 so I don't quite know what you mean. 486 00:16:28,789 --> 00:16:30,659 I think what I'm trying to say is, 487 00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:33,691 is that we don't know what goes on in the minds of strangers. 488 00:16:33,727 --> 00:16:35,097 Diana isn't a stranger. 489 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,531 -Well, in many ways, Alison, she is. -No. 490 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,634 But in... In... Yeah, she is. 491 00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:40,870 She was our friend. 492 00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:42,504 Yeah, no, I mean, she obviously struck a cord 493 00:16:42,536 --> 00:16:44,336 in many people, and in you, 494 00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:45,910 and that cord has been ringing 495 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,772 -for the last 20 years. -Yeah. 496 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,411 And I think the key, Alison, and we've talked about this many times, 497 00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:53,551 is finding out what it was in your life 498 00:16:53,614 --> 00:16:54,624 at that time... 499 00:16:54,648 --> 00:16:56,448 You keep talking about this, Richard, 500 00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:58,892 and I don't know what you mean, really. -She is your life. 501 00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:01,445 And what I want to achieve is that your life 502 00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:03,185 is you. 503 00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,686 But everyone has parts of their lives 504 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,492 to do with other people. 505 00:17:07,528 --> 00:17:09,628 -I mean, you're married, aren't you? -Yes, but I've met my wife. 506 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,326 We've been in the same room together. 507 00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,531 -[Sighs] -Did Lady Diana know who you were? 508 00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:15,967 I don't know, Richard! Just... You're gloating, 509 00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:17,599 and I don't accept it! 510 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,874 -I'm not gloating. -About having met your wife. 511 00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:21,780 I'm not gloating, Alison, 512 00:17:21,842 --> 00:17:23,342 -I just want you to move on... -And I didn't want to marry Diana anyway. 513 00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:24,609 Well, I'm not suggesting you should marry Diana, 514 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,251 -I'm suggesting... -Well, good. 515 00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,476 But Diana didn't have a fucking clue who you were! 516 00:17:28,582 --> 00:17:30,282 She doesn't know who you are. 517 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,623 -You're trying to suggest that she didn't care, Richard! -Yes! 518 00:17:32,653 --> 00:17:34,223 -And she did care! -That's exactly what I'm 519 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:35,694 -trying to suggest! -She cared about all of us! 520 00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:37,419 -No, she didn't! -Have you seen the footage? 521 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,090 She cared about people she met! -She held that man's hand 522 00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:41,032 without a glove on and he had AIDS! 523 00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:43,304 -She... -Do you realise how unprecedented that was? 524 00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:46,299 No, I'm saying that you are... You are sheltering from your life 525 00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:48,102 under a Diana-shaped rock. 526 00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:49,574 What do you think you're doing? 527 00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:52,170 I'm trying to grab you by your ankle 528 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:53,765 and yank you out of there. 529 00:17:53,874 --> 00:17:55,714 What should be important to me? 530 00:17:55,776 --> 00:17:56,776 You. 531 00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,811 I don't want to betray her. 532 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,824 [Mobile ringing] 533 00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:04,949 -RICHARD: Hey, you've landed. -Hi. Sorry, traffic was terrible. 534 00:18:05,018 --> 00:18:06,688 -Right, you'll be home soon? -I'll be back soon. 535 00:18:06,787 --> 00:18:09,487 -RICHARD: Okay, how was Zurich? -It's been a complete nightmare. 536 00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:11,223 -Oh, no! -The company, it's in such trouble. 537 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,591 -Really? -I've got to make 538 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,389 so many redundancies on Monday, I'm dreading it. 539 00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:16,830 -Oh... -So, I don't know where that's going to leave us. 540 00:18:16,897 --> 00:18:18,257 Can you take the bridge? 541 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,331 Heard Vernon was talking about your company. 542 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,932 He thinks it's really a grower. 543 00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,467 -Well, I mean, it's going great... -So I thought, 544 00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:23,696 maybe I should think about having a year off, 545 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:24,910 or just a bit of a break 546 00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,111 -and... -Yeah, eventually. 547 00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,972 And you bring the money in, and... 548 00:18:28,008 --> 00:18:29,738 -Eventually that... That... -You'll be the breadwinner and I'll just... 549 00:18:29,810 --> 00:18:31,340 -We can definitely talk about that. -I'm sorry, darling. 550 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,611 -[Mobile ringing] -The London office is calling. 551 00:18:32,646 --> 00:18:33,606 -But don't... But don't... -I've got to go. 552 00:18:33,647 --> 00:18:34,407 No, I've got to speak... 553 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,180 TERRY: [On voice call] Hello? 554 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,819 -RICHARD: Is that Terry? -I haven't done anything like this before. 555 00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:39,291 Right. What brings you to therapy today, er, Terry? 556 00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:41,855 -Well, it's money problems. -RICHARD: Is it? 557 00:18:41,922 --> 00:18:43,222 It's just, erm, 558 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,129 completely taken over me life. 559 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,855 Yes, I... I... Well. 560 00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:49,303 It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. 561 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,502 -Yeah. -TERRY: It all started 562 00:18:50,531 --> 00:18:53,101 about 18 months ago, I suppose. 563 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,943 I got a phone call from this lady. 564 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,368 She said, "You've won..." She said, 565 00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:02,210 "One hundred and forty-eight point-two million pounds 566 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,308 "on the Euro lottery". 567 00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:06,207 Just like that. 568 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,812 What... Did you lose the money? 569 00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:11,251 You'd think, wouldn't you, that money would make you happy. 570 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:14,154 -Yeah. -Well, I haven't been happy since I won this bloody money. 571 00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,060 -Oh. -You know, I've got all this 572 00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:17,719 just dangling about the place. 573 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:18,934 It means nothing. 574 00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,725 -[Sighs] -It means absolutely nothing. 575 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:21,957 -RICHARD: Don't do that, Terry. 576 00:19:22,062 --> 00:19:23,532 -This is a curse, this stuff. -Yeah. 577 00:19:23,564 --> 00:19:25,334 -I wake up every morning... -Oh, God. 578 00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:26,871 Just it's... You know. 579 00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:30,473 -It just gets me down. -Yeah. 580 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:33,737 [Stammering] I don't know what you can do to help me. 581 00:19:33,774 --> 00:19:36,314 I think I might have to top myself, you know, Richard? 582 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,336 I... I... I understand how difficult this must be for you. 583 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:41,781 You have an issue that most people would look at and say, 584 00:19:41,815 --> 00:19:45,445 -"Oh, my God. That is the answer to all my problems". -Yeah. 585 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:46,852 You know, we all have money problems. 586 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,593 You have too much, I have, er... 587 00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:52,025 Er, a mother who's sick and needs round-the-clock care. 588 00:19:52,092 --> 00:19:53,692 All right, then. 589 00:19:53,727 --> 00:19:56,097 My daughter is, er... She's ran up a lot of student debts, 590 00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:57,729 -Huge debts... -Ah, really? 591 00:19:57,764 --> 00:20:00,034 Yeah, I mean, nothing 110 grand wouldn't knock a hole in. 592 00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,370 But, you know... 593 00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,937 -Er... -That's not your problem, Terry. 594 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,510 Nope. 595 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:08,512 So I wouldn't, er, I wouldn't, erm, burden you with it 596 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,005 because this is your time, not mine. 597 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,653 Oh, you've got a lot on your plate. 598 00:20:11,745 --> 00:20:13,045 I have, Terry. I have. 599 00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:15,216 -Of course, the simplest thing would be... -Yeah. 600 00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:17,081 -If I gave you... -Yeah. 601 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,953 ...twenty million pounds, 602 00:20:19,019 --> 00:20:22,289 I supposed you think, you know, all your problems would be over. 603 00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,928 But... [Groans] I wouldn't. I'll tell you, 604 00:20:25,025 --> 00:20:26,655 it's a mad's game, being rich. 605 00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:28,533 -Right. -TERRY: So... [Muttering] 606 00:20:28,629 --> 00:20:30,129 That's the... That's the end of it. 607 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,530 -Right. -TERRY: Well, 608 00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:32,725 -you've been very helpful. -[Dejected] Yeah. 609 00:20:32,833 --> 00:20:34,173 TERRY: I'm very grateful. 610 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:35,697 -[Groans] -RICHARD: Okay. Okay. 611 00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:37,136 -[Terry groaning] -I mean, you could... 612 00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:38,370 -Are you all right? -TERRY: God. 613 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:39,911 [Muttering indistinctly] 614 00:20:39,973 --> 00:20:42,013 -Terry? -[Gurgling] God! 615 00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:43,408 -[Muttering] -Terry? 616 00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:44,810 -Terry, can you hear me? -[Muttering indistinctly] 617 00:20:44,845 --> 00:20:46,145 -Just get it... -I don't know what I can... 618 00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,312 Terry! 619 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:48,480 -Terry? -[Terry thuds to floor] 620 00:20:48,582 --> 00:20:49,452 Terry? 621 00:20:49,550 --> 00:20:51,420 Don't die on me, Terry! 622 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,251 -Oh, for the love of... -[Groaning] 623 00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:54,916 -Oh! Oh, Jesus, Terry! -Oh, God. 624 00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:57,391 -Trapped wind. -RICHARD: Oh, my goodness gracious me. 625 00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,687 -[Exhales sharply] -For a moment there I was really worried that something 626 00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,026 -had happened to you. -I'm all right. 627 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,164 Erm... 628 00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:03,902 Have you made a will? 629 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,100 [Voice call disconnects] 630 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,332 Darling? 631 00:21:08,201 --> 00:21:09,741 -Hey, oh! -Ah! 632 00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:11,470 Oh, it is so good to see you. 633 00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:13,108 Great to see you. How was your trip? 634 00:21:13,173 --> 00:21:15,383 -Oh, it's been awful. -Has it? 635 00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:16,811 -Yeah, how are you? -Oh, no! 636 00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:18,210 -Yeah, I'm good. -How's it going? 637 00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:19,381 -It's going great. -Yeah? 638 00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:20,452 -Mmm-hmm. -The kids all right? 639 00:21:20,547 --> 00:21:22,017 -The kids are great. -Great! 640 00:21:22,082 --> 00:21:23,982 [Kids screaming and arguing] 641 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:26,190 ZAHRA: Do you even care about me? This is not an open relationship, is it? 642 00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:27,892 [Stifles laughter] 643 00:21:27,988 --> 00:21:29,218 -Exciting. -[Door banging] 644 00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:30,455 -You know what that's about? -Not really. 645 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:31,860 Ah, Mr Pitt. 646 00:21:31,892 --> 00:21:33,132 She left a message. 647 00:21:33,226 --> 00:21:35,096 She's just about to arrive. 648 00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:37,826 Who the fuck is that? 649 00:21:37,898 --> 00:21:39,068 That's Jose. 650 00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,932 He's going to be looking after 651 00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:42,174 my mother, who is 652 00:21:43,804 --> 00:21:44,814 moving in. 653 00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:46,672 She's what? 654 00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:48,610 -[Buzzer sounding] -That's her now. 655 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:51,206 [Buzzer sounding] 656 00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:53,708 -Ricky! -Mom! 657 00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:56,020 It's always much further than I think. 658 00:21:56,049 --> 00:21:58,149 I've completely run out of money. 659 00:21:58,218 --> 00:21:59,648 Taxi's still going. 660 00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:00,946 -Have you got any spare cash? -Don't do this to me. 661 00:22:01,021 --> 00:22:03,061 -Hello, Candace. -It's Karen. 662 00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:04,089 -MAGGIE: Mmm, ah, no. -Erm... 663 00:22:04,190 --> 00:22:05,230 Hello, Mum. 664 00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:06,431 Oh, darling! [Laughs] 665 00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:08,262 Richard, I'm going to be upstairs, I think. 666 00:22:08,294 --> 00:22:09,904 Erm, Maggie, unfortunately... 667 00:22:09,930 --> 00:22:11,570 -MAGGIE: What? -...I'd love to have you to stay, 668 00:22:11,665 --> 00:22:13,025 -Hmm? -KAREN: But we just don't have any room. 669 00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:14,099 -Oh, well, we'll have to... -And... 670 00:22:14,134 --> 00:22:15,204 It's all been arranged already. 671 00:22:15,301 --> 00:22:17,101 -Exactly. -No, I can't cope... 672 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,940 -I can't cope... -Do you know what I really wouldn't mind? A cup of tea. 673 00:22:18,972 --> 00:22:20,212 A cup of tea. Good idea. 674 00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:21,906 -Richard, can we have a word? -No sugar. 675 00:22:21,975 --> 00:22:23,535 Thanks awfully. Oh, hello. 676 00:22:24,144 --> 00:22:25,554 Er, I'm ready. 677 00:22:25,612 --> 00:22:27,252 -Great, this is Jose. He's a... -Yes, I know Jose. 678 00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:28,977 He's going to be moving in. 679 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:30,645 MAGGIE: Oh, Good. RICHARD: He'll be staying in the office... 680 00:22:30,751 --> 00:22:32,951 -Ooh. -...and Mum will be sleeping in Issy's room. 681 00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:35,019 And you've talked to Issy about that, have you? 682 00:22:35,055 --> 00:22:36,855 -Yes, Issy's going to be moving in with Zahra. -[Issy screaming upstairs] 683 00:22:36,890 --> 00:22:38,530 -[Issy screams] -ZAHRA: That's it, I'm done. 684 00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:40,685 I can't believe you cheated on me! 685 00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:43,057 -ISSY: I didn't! -I just can't believe you anymore! 686 00:22:43,129 --> 00:22:44,699 [Zahra sobbing] 687 00:22:48,168 --> 00:22:49,338 The minute they sort that out. 688 00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:51,739 Yeah. So I'm going upstairs... 689 00:22:51,772 --> 00:22:53,342 -No. No, you're not. -[Mobile ringing] 690 00:22:53,373 --> 00:22:54,813 -What... -Oh! 691 00:22:54,908 --> 00:22:56,138 -I've got all my luggage outside. -It's Abs! 692 00:22:56,176 --> 00:22:57,206 -Abs? -Hey, Abs. 693 00:22:57,243 --> 00:22:58,443 -Mr P! -RICHARD: Hi. 694 00:22:58,545 --> 00:22:59,575 -It's Abs. -Are you ready for some karaoke? 695 00:22:59,613 --> 00:23:01,183 -I am. Say hello to Abs. -Oh... 696 00:23:01,214 --> 00:23:02,224 -Abs, he'll be out in a minute. -Hello, Abs. 697 00:23:02,282 --> 00:23:03,622 Hey, guys! 698 00:23:03,650 --> 00:23:05,190 -KAREN: I need to talk... -Well, I'll leave you two 699 00:23:05,251 --> 00:23:06,851 -to catch up. -No, no, no, no, no. Richard! 700 00:23:06,887 --> 00:23:08,447 Richard! 701 00:23:08,522 --> 00:23:10,292 ABS: Mr P, I've got six hours booked, 702 00:23:10,323 --> 00:23:12,263 -how are you feeling? -Like a cock in a blender. 703 00:23:12,292 --> 00:23:14,092 Ha-ha! I like your style. 704 00:23:14,194 --> 00:23:16,104 Look, I don't want to rush you, but I booked the platinum suite. 705 00:23:16,162 --> 00:23:17,262 It's not cheap. 706 00:23:17,330 --> 00:23:18,900 There better be booze. 707 00:23:18,932 --> 00:23:20,132 [Theme music playing] 708 00:23:20,182 --> 00:23:24,732 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 56066

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.