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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,359 --> 00:00:07,230 - Should we do it? - Let's do it! 2 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,855 Let's do it! 3 00:00:10,786 --> 00:00:12,049 Yeah! 4 00:00:12,060 --> 00:00:14,661 Oh, yeah! 5 00:00:15,114 --> 00:00:16,701 Yeah! 6 00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:21,200 Whoa! 7 00:00:21,211 --> 00:00:23,011 Who-a-a-a! 8 00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:25,155 Y-e-eah! 9 00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:27,200 - Whoa! Oh! - Oh! 10 00:00:37,676 --> 00:00:39,031 Whoo! 11 00:00:40,338 --> 00:00:42,004 Oh! Yeah! 12 00:00:42,006 --> 00:00:43,172 Yeah! 13 00:00:45,326 --> 00:00:46,775 We made a drink! 14 00:00:46,777 --> 00:00:48,177 - Yeah! - Excuse me. 15 00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:49,878 Excuse me! Hey! 16 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,615 Uh... can I get a drink here or what. 17 00:00:58,922 --> 00:01:00,022 Here you go. 18 00:01:00,024 --> 00:01:01,614 Happy birthday, Craig. 19 00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:03,224 Retirement. Thanks. 20 00:01:05,738 --> 00:01:06,761 Whoops! 21 00:01:15,446 --> 00:01:17,763 - Synced and corrected by Shazi89 - - www.addic7ed.com - 22 00:01:17,774 --> 00:01:20,808 Your ankle is the size of a grapefruit. 23 00:01:20,810 --> 00:01:22,877 How did you not realize it was sprained? 24 00:01:22,879 --> 00:01:24,379 I mean, by that point in the night, 25 00:01:24,381 --> 00:01:26,481 I wasn't feeling much of anything. 26 00:01:26,483 --> 00:01:28,749 I learned that tequila is an upper... 27 00:01:28,751 --> 00:01:30,851 I feel like it was, like, psychological, 28 00:01:30,853 --> 00:01:32,587 like the Gazebo effect. 29 00:01:32,589 --> 00:01:34,388 Placebo effect? 30 00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:37,324 Yeah. Yeah. 31 00:01:37,326 --> 00:01:39,393 I thought that you said you were working. 32 00:01:39,395 --> 00:01:42,062 It was just, like, a really lame catering gig, 33 00:01:42,064 --> 00:01:43,530 so we were, like, trying to make the most of it. 34 00:01:44,933 --> 00:01:46,766 Thank you so much for coming over, Lesley. 35 00:01:46,768 --> 00:01:48,968 You're the best girlfriend... 36 00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:51,938 Whoa, girlfriend? 37 00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:54,971 - Yeah. I mean, or partner. I like... - You... 38 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,767 - I like "girlfriend." - You know, this... 39 00:01:56,778 --> 00:01:58,978 I think this actually brings up an interesting point. 40 00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:01,081 "Partner." Yeah. "Partner" is more lesbian. 41 00:02:01,083 --> 00:02:04,084 - No, no. Abb... Please don't... Abbi. - I... I... Like, I know this now. 42 00:02:04,086 --> 00:02:06,253 I actually think that... 43 00:02:06,255 --> 00:02:09,456 that we should stop doing... 44 00:02:09,458 --> 00:02:11,657 this. 45 00:02:11,659 --> 00:02:13,126 Wait, okay. Okay. 46 00:02:13,128 --> 00:02:15,561 Is this about the... the "placebo" thing... 47 00:02:15,563 --> 00:02:20,209 No, Abbi, it's... It's a lot bigger than that. 48 00:02:26,241 --> 00:02:27,640 ♪ The mail, the mail ♪ 49 00:02:27,642 --> 00:02:28,875 ♪ The mail ♪ 50 00:02:28,877 --> 00:02:32,612 ♪ The mail ♪ 51 00:02:32,614 --> 00:02:34,480 Whoa, Yale. 52 00:02:34,482 --> 00:02:35,782 Too Kavanaugh. 53 00:02:35,784 --> 00:02:37,917 Cornell? You wish. 54 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:39,518 Dartmouth. Too goyish. 55 00:02:40,688 --> 00:02:42,989 Okay!! 56 00:02:42,991 --> 00:02:44,523 Here it is! 57 00:02:44,525 --> 00:02:46,692 Hunter freaking College, bish. 58 00:02:46,694 --> 00:02:48,655 And... 59 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:55,301 I'm in, Hunter College. I'm freaking in! 60 00:02:55,303 --> 00:02:56,469 Master's, bitch. 61 00:02:56,471 --> 00:02:58,971 Doctorate, bitch. MD, bitch. 62 00:02:58,973 --> 00:03:00,973 Well, Master's. 63 00:03:00,975 --> 00:03:02,931 Whoo! Grad student. 64 00:03:04,879 --> 00:03:09,482 Acceptance letter! 65 00:03:09,484 --> 00:03:10,820 Whoo! 66 00:03:24,531 --> 00:03:25,846 Hello. 67 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,455 Can I help you? 68 00:03:29,536 --> 00:03:32,870 I hear you offer student discounts. 69 00:03:32,872 --> 00:03:34,839 So, we can't give you a student discount 70 00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:38,410 if you don't have a student ID, and this isn't a student ID. 71 00:03:38,412 --> 00:03:41,813 Okay, but this says that I will be a student in like three months. 72 00:03:41,815 --> 00:03:43,014 Oh, three months? 73 00:03:43,016 --> 00:03:45,850 Oh, that's almost as long as we've been having this conversation. 74 00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:48,386 Okay, Zahm Zena. Do we have a beef? 75 00:03:48,388 --> 00:03:49,921 Oh, my God, miss? 76 00:03:49,923 --> 00:03:52,723 - Okay. Jesus. I'm leaving. - Oh, no, you're not. 77 00:03:52,725 --> 00:03:55,459 Your hair. It's perfect. 78 00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:58,662 The curls are so plump yet so light. 79 00:03:58,664 --> 00:04:00,631 Moi? 80 00:04:00,633 --> 00:04:02,566 Merci beaucoup, monsieur. 81 00:04:02,568 --> 00:04:04,019 I know this is crazy, 82 00:04:04,037 --> 00:04:06,888 but would you consider modeling for us? 83 00:04:06,899 --> 00:04:09,606 Stop. Okay, stop. Is this some sort of perverted prank? 84 00:04:09,608 --> 00:04:11,375 Are you in on this... 'Cause you've been a bitch the whole time? 85 00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:14,044 I know this is last-minute, but we're doing a shoot tonight. 86 00:04:16,949 --> 00:04:18,549 You know what? I think that'll be good. 87 00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:20,917 Perfection... Just like your curls. 88 00:04:20,919 --> 00:04:23,721 See you back here at 6:00 and be camera ready. 89 00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:26,156 Okay, 6:00 P.M., camera ready. 90 00:04:26,158 --> 00:04:29,117 Oh, my God, did you see that? That was amazing. 91 00:04:29,128 --> 00:04:30,675 I'm on a call right now. I can't talk. 92 00:04:30,686 --> 00:04:32,753 Okay, something seems very locked up inside of you, 93 00:04:32,764 --> 00:04:36,166 so when you decide to change your life with therapy, give me a call. 94 00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:39,635 I don't understand. 95 00:04:39,637 --> 00:04:42,805 Like, Lesley, I-I like you so much. 96 00:04:42,807 --> 00:04:44,875 We're just not on the same page. 97 00:04:44,877 --> 00:04:46,142 I'm a doctor. 98 00:04:46,144 --> 00:04:49,296 I do jiu-jitsu and have hobbies. And you... 99 00:04:49,307 --> 00:04:51,975 You just don't really feel like an adult yet. 100 00:04:51,986 --> 00:04:54,584 And I'm sure your life is fun, 101 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:58,588 but it's really just kind of a series of wild shenanigans. 102 00:04:59,912 --> 00:05:00,956 Wow. 103 00:05:00,958 --> 00:05:02,491 Shenanigans? 104 00:05:02,493 --> 00:05:06,962 You're 20s are for... wild "shenanigans." 105 00:05:06,964 --> 00:05:08,370 But aren't you 30? 106 00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:11,600 Wow, wow. You're fucking nuts, Lesley! 107 00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,202 - What?! - Yeah. Yeah, you're nuts. 108 00:05:13,204 --> 00:05:16,538 I'm just saying that you need to grow up a little bit. 109 00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:18,274 Mm. Okay. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. 110 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:21,510 You know what... I write thank-you notes all the time. 111 00:05:21,512 --> 00:05:23,178 And my phone screen isn't even cracked. 112 00:05:23,180 --> 00:05:25,106 And guess what, Lesley? I'm going to a play today. 113 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,102 - I'm going to a matinée. - Yeah, with Ilana's parents, 114 00:05:27,113 --> 00:05:28,724 who, I'm assuming, paid for the tickets. 115 00:05:28,735 --> 00:05:30,652 Actually, you know what, Lesley? I think that we're done. 116 00:05:30,654 --> 00:05:32,521 I think that you should get out of my house. 117 00:05:32,523 --> 00:05:34,956 Finally on the same page about something. 118 00:05:37,756 --> 00:05:42,063 You know what? Why don't you take your ugly-ass hat back, too. 119 00:05:42,065 --> 00:05:43,864 Fine. I will. 120 00:05:43,866 --> 00:05:47,468 Of course it looks cute on you. Whatever. God! 121 00:05:47,470 --> 00:05:50,004 Oh, shit! 122 00:05:50,006 --> 00:05:52,573 Great. Well, thanks a lot. Now I do have a crack in my screen, 123 00:05:52,575 --> 00:05:56,044 - thanks to your stupid boot. - Oh, did the wig not protect it? 124 00:05:57,747 --> 00:05:59,780 It didn't. 125 00:06:03,353 --> 00:06:07,270 DevaCurl?! Oh, my freakin' God, Ilana! 126 00:06:07,281 --> 00:06:09,957 - I know. I know! - You're gonna be a model. 127 00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:12,225 I literally could not have done this without you guys. 128 00:06:12,227 --> 00:06:14,100 Also, I got into grad school today. 129 00:06:14,111 --> 00:06:15,563 What? That's fantastic. 130 00:06:15,565 --> 00:06:18,398 DevaCurl! Ah! Oh! I'm coming to the shoot. 131 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,076 Of course you're coming. You're my number-one curl inspo. 132 00:06:21,087 --> 00:06:23,671 DevaCurl. Ah. 133 00:06:23,673 --> 00:06:25,339 DevaCurl! 134 00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:28,175 Devacu-u-u-u... 135 00:06:32,915 --> 00:06:34,381 uuuuuuuur... 136 00:06:43,032 --> 00:06:45,397 Yeah. That is adult. 137 00:06:45,408 --> 00:06:48,710 Whoo! She got the plaid slacks. She got the pink sweater. 138 00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,445 She got the tortoise-shell clip, bish. 139 00:06:50,447 --> 00:06:52,588 - Yass! I love it! - Oh, my gosh. Hold on. 140 00:06:52,599 --> 00:06:54,199 Is this a grad student? 141 00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:56,076 - Oh, well, mm... Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Mm! 142 00:06:56,087 --> 00:06:58,586 - Yes! - I'm so proud of you, dude. 143 00:06:58,588 --> 00:07:00,060 - Congrats! - Thank you! 144 00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:02,639 And you must be my sexy professor. 145 00:07:02,650 --> 00:07:04,983 Wow, Lesley is a true monster 146 00:07:04,994 --> 00:07:07,395 if she can break up with you looking like this. 147 00:07:07,406 --> 00:07:09,906 Yeah, well... she said I'm not "adult" enough 148 00:07:09,917 --> 00:07:11,384 - for her, so... - Oh! 149 00:07:11,395 --> 00:07:14,262 I didn't realize she was a fucking heinous bitch. 150 00:07:14,273 --> 00:07:16,145 She smells like fucking shit. 151 00:07:16,156 --> 00:07:18,880 - She doesn't smell like shit. - Always hated her... never liked her. 152 00:07:18,891 --> 00:07:20,875 Listen, it's fine, because I have been flooding 153 00:07:20,877 --> 00:07:23,610 my Instagram account with adult-ass pics all day 154 00:07:23,612 --> 00:07:25,579 so she can see what she's missing out on. 155 00:07:25,581 --> 00:07:28,081 Wow. I love it. Hence The New Yorker. 156 00:07:28,083 --> 00:07:30,213 Hence The New Yorker, indeed. 157 00:07:30,224 --> 00:07:32,285 Whatever. Enough about Lesley, okay? 158 00:07:32,287 --> 00:07:34,463 Okay, so, um... I am scared 159 00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:36,122 that my brother is leaving the city. 160 00:07:36,124 --> 00:07:37,924 You know, I-I know that he's obviously going 161 00:07:37,926 --> 00:07:39,853 to be the perfect Jewish-Canadian VJ... 162 00:07:39,864 --> 00:07:42,606 I'm sorry. Is your eye okay? 163 00:07:42,617 --> 00:07:45,200 I'm just going for, like, a structured architectural brow today. 164 00:07:45,211 --> 00:07:47,814 No, no. Like, it's red. It looks really irritated. 165 00:07:47,825 --> 00:07:49,836 Yeah, I got this, like, AC drop in my eye before. 166 00:07:49,838 --> 00:07:52,739 It was just, like, air conditioning pre-cum... like Ninja Turtle juice. 167 00:07:52,741 --> 00:07:54,307 It's fine. 168 00:07:54,309 --> 00:07:55,711 Is it, though? 169 00:07:55,722 --> 00:07:58,577 Yeah, I'll just flush it out when I cry at the play later. 170 00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:01,047 O-o-oh! 171 00:08:01,049 --> 00:08:03,749 Oh, my God! 172 00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:06,096 I didn't tell you the best news of all. 173 00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:11,057 Lordy, lordy... ♪ 'Cause Janet be 40 ♪ 174 00:08:11,059 --> 00:08:14,760 Yep, yep, yep, yep! Whoo-whoo! 175 00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:17,363 - What? - Girl, I got scouted... 176 00:08:17,365 --> 00:08:20,033 to model... for Devachan. 177 00:08:20,035 --> 00:08:21,951 Okay? Whoo! 178 00:08:21,962 --> 00:08:23,703 - This is the Vision Board. - That's it. 179 00:08:23,714 --> 00:08:24,828 - Yes! - Yes! 180 00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:37,616 Oh, here she is! 181 00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:41,807 My star... my DevaCurl star. 182 00:08:42,557 --> 00:08:43,738 No, we had a wild night. 183 00:08:43,749 --> 00:08:47,025 Eliot, your sister is a DevaCurl hair model! 184 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,744 I mean, this is really, very exciting 185 00:08:48,755 --> 00:08:50,729 about the modeling, but, please... 186 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:53,298 let us not forget this is Eliot's special day. 187 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,501 It is bon voyage to New York. 188 00:08:55,503 --> 00:08:57,035 My favorite neighborhood, no less... 189 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,019 the Theater District. 190 00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:01,006 Would it kill you to put a smile on your pretty face? 191 00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:03,476 You have a simply spectacular smile... 192 00:09:03,478 --> 00:09:05,844 - my sweet baby. - Hey, hey, hey, lady. 193 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:09,180 You want a picture with my daughter? She's a very famous hair model. 194 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,949 Can we just go inside, please? 195 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,017 Yeah, you know, we got to cash in on this, El. 196 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:17,054 I mean, one of those whats-their-faces is worth, like, a billion dollars. 197 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:21,192 You know, you really should be putting weight on the good foot. 198 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,227 Yeah, but it's... I wanted the heel, 199 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,029 so it just, like, works. 200 00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:27,665 Look at how fast you're going. Good job. 201 00:09:28,554 --> 00:09:30,301 Hey, girls. 202 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,371 Hungry? 203 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:34,572 She's a professional. 204 00:09:52,136 --> 00:09:54,761 Someone's making a dank Instagram story. 205 00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:56,960 Yes, it's a story about a grown 206 00:09:56,962 --> 00:09:59,630 woman at the theater. 207 00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:01,065 Theater, yes. 208 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:03,167 It's starting. Damn it. 209 00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:07,846 I'm so sick of this attic! 210 00:10:08,331 --> 00:10:11,275 Walk it off, Anne Frank! 211 00:10:17,248 --> 00:10:19,040 Please enjoy a brief intermission. 212 00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:20,903 Wow. 213 00:10:20,914 --> 00:10:22,313 They're gonna win that Tony. 214 00:10:22,324 --> 00:10:27,857 Oh, my God. Dude... Does your eye stink? 215 00:10:29,127 --> 00:10:30,493 Hoo! 216 00:10:30,495 --> 00:10:32,662 Yeah, it stinks. What's going... 217 00:10:32,664 --> 00:10:34,664 Holy shit! Ilana... 218 00:10:34,666 --> 00:10:36,313 It smells like prosciutt. 219 00:10:36,324 --> 00:10:38,421 You cannot go to the DevaCurl shoot like this. 220 00:10:38,432 --> 00:10:40,002 You got to go to a doctor right away 221 00:10:40,004 --> 00:10:42,363 and get this cleared up, for the family honor! 222 00:10:42,374 --> 00:10:44,265 Doctor? I don't have a "doctor" "here." 223 00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:45,680 Wait, you don't have a doctor here? 224 00:10:45,691 --> 00:10:47,761 No one in the city does. That's why it's a cesspool. 225 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,849 All right, it's an emergency! Go to the emergency room. 226 00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:51,346 - Go to St. Vincent's. - It's condos. 227 00:10:51,348 --> 00:10:52,880 - All right, so Cabrini! - Also condos. 228 00:10:52,891 --> 00:10:54,784 How 'bout that what's-his-name doctor on Houston St.? 229 00:10:54,786 --> 00:10:56,218 It's not condos, but it's a Whole Foods. 230 00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:59,354 - Again, why do you love this city? - You got to get an ambulance. 231 00:10:59,356 --> 00:11:01,148 You... You smell like a dog's ass. 232 00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:02,803 - What'd you say? - A dog's ass. 233 00:11:02,814 --> 00:11:04,794 Dog's ass... That's it? 234 00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:06,201 - What? - Mwah! 235 00:11:06,212 --> 00:11:08,497 Okay, I know who can cure me. I got this. 236 00:11:08,499 --> 00:11:10,032 Oh, I hope so. 237 00:11:10,034 --> 00:11:12,468 Oh, God. 238 00:11:12,470 --> 00:11:16,105 Save me! Come on. 239 00:11:21,928 --> 00:11:24,228 Hey, can you drive me downtown and just weave 240 00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:25,530 in and out of traffic very fast? 241 00:11:25,532 --> 00:11:27,299 Listen, I'm not a pedicab driver. 242 00:11:27,301 --> 00:11:29,200 I'm a real estate broker. Read the sign. 243 00:11:29,202 --> 00:11:31,068 Okay, then why do you have a pedicab? 244 00:11:31,070 --> 00:11:32,837 It's the fastest way to get clients 245 00:11:32,839 --> 00:11:34,872 to apartments for multiple viewing. 246 00:11:34,874 --> 00:11:37,342 You know, I think I-I know you. 247 00:11:37,344 --> 00:11:39,076 - Are you a cop? - No. 248 00:11:39,078 --> 00:11:42,180 But you showed my friend and I an apartment years ago, 249 00:11:42,182 --> 00:11:43,782 a bunch of shitty apartment. 250 00:11:43,784 --> 00:11:46,250 I mean, they were all literal crime scenes. 251 00:11:46,252 --> 00:11:48,420 Oh, yeah, crime scene homes are my speciality. 252 00:11:48,422 --> 00:11:51,873 You know, I got an ex that works in the NYPD. He hooks me up. 253 00:11:51,884 --> 00:11:53,758 I just give him a hand job once and a while. 254 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,928 Okay, since we have a history can I please get a ride? 255 00:11:55,939 --> 00:11:57,594 This is a modeling emergency. 256 00:11:57,596 --> 00:11:59,864 Look, I've been pedaling my butt off all day. 257 00:11:59,866 --> 00:12:01,098 I mean, look at my feet. 258 00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:03,567 Oh, Jesus Christ. 259 00:12:03,569 --> 00:12:05,536 Wait a minute. Flex that thigh. 260 00:12:05,538 --> 00:12:07,138 Whoopsie! 261 00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,639 I can see your short and curlies. 262 00:12:08,641 --> 00:12:10,007 Let's go! 263 00:12:11,177 --> 00:12:12,376 Damn. 264 00:12:12,378 --> 00:12:13,945 There you go. You got it. 265 00:12:13,947 --> 00:12:16,047 You should see your ass from back here. 266 00:12:16,049 --> 00:12:19,217 It's amazing. It looks like a big heart. 267 00:12:19,219 --> 00:12:22,286 - Thank you, Pam... Move! Scram! - Oh, let's go! 268 00:12:22,288 --> 00:12:24,055 We have a medical emergency! 269 00:12:24,057 --> 00:12:26,157 - Look out for the baby... the baby! - Get out of the way! 270 00:12:30,128 --> 00:12:33,129 Well, well, well, Lesley. 271 00:12:33,131 --> 00:12:35,598 One of these babies could've been yours. 272 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,600 Shit. 273 00:12:37,602 --> 00:12:39,736 Lighting is terrible in here. 274 00:12:39,738 --> 00:12:43,073 Gotta find another light... source. 275 00:12:53,151 --> 00:12:55,051 Yes! Daylight. 276 00:12:56,355 --> 00:12:57,754 Here we go. 277 00:12:57,756 --> 00:13:00,323 Lesley's not gonna know what hit her. 278 00:13:09,443 --> 00:13:11,976 Shenanigans. 279 00:13:14,487 --> 00:13:15,719 Okay. 280 00:13:18,224 --> 00:13:19,857 Oh, my God. Yes. 281 00:13:19,859 --> 00:13:23,194 Ah! Yes! 282 00:13:24,397 --> 00:13:26,497 Hello? Somebody? 283 00:13:26,499 --> 00:13:27,865 H-Hello? 284 00:13:27,867 --> 00:13:30,168 Abbi? It's Lesley. 285 00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:35,472 Hey. Lesley. 286 00:13:37,176 --> 00:13:39,776 What's up... girl? 287 00:13:45,446 --> 00:13:48,151 Okay, I'm sorry. I have to go before you. I'm a model. 288 00:13:49,555 --> 00:13:52,789 - The doctor's with a patient! - Yeah, I'm a model. 289 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:55,124 S-Stop! 290 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,026 Doctor... Ohh! Sorry. 291 00:13:57,028 --> 00:13:58,562 Ilana, I told you... 292 00:13:58,564 --> 00:14:01,717 I can not spay-neuter a human, and it is not reversible. 293 00:14:01,728 --> 00:14:04,501 No, I-I Googled that... you were right about it. 294 00:14:04,503 --> 00:14:06,102 I'm here about this. 295 00:14:07,539 --> 00:14:10,339 Ugh. Okay. 296 00:14:10,341 --> 00:14:12,875 That looks bad. Have a seat. 297 00:14:12,877 --> 00:14:14,711 Okay, good girl. Good girl. 298 00:14:14,713 --> 00:14:16,278 Good... Good girl! 299 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,949 Well, I actually wanted to apologize to you. 300 00:14:19,951 --> 00:14:21,383 For before. 301 00:14:21,385 --> 00:14:23,319 Oh, yeah, yeah. 302 00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,855 Oh, did you see my Instagram? 303 00:14:25,857 --> 00:14:29,025 - What? - Never mind. Wh-Wh-What's up? 304 00:14:30,435 --> 00:14:35,589 Look, the truth is, I'm really set in my ways, 305 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,701 and maybe I'm self-sabotaging this whole things 306 00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:41,370 because I have a lot of fun with you... 307 00:14:41,372 --> 00:14:42,972 shenanigans and all. 308 00:14:42,974 --> 00:14:45,274 I mean, who am I to judge the way you live? 309 00:14:45,276 --> 00:14:47,243 You know, you're... you're figuring it out. 310 00:14:47,245 --> 00:14:51,079 Wow. Well, thanks... 311 00:14:51,081 --> 00:14:52,548 I mean, thank you for saying that. 312 00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:54,717 I... 313 00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:57,085 You really hurt my feelings this morning. 314 00:14:57,087 --> 00:14:59,855 I know, and I'm so sorry. 315 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:03,726 Do you think there's any way that we can try this again? 316 00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:05,728 You mean, like, get back together? 317 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:08,264 Yes. I'd really like to keep seeing you, Abbi. 318 00:15:08,266 --> 00:15:09,698 I think you're great. 319 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,433 Well, I think you're great, too. 320 00:15:11,435 --> 00:15:15,837 I mean, what are you, uh... 321 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,908 What are you doing tonight? 322 00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:22,577 Well, I think I may have a date 323 00:15:22,579 --> 00:15:26,581 with my very adult, very sexy artist girlfriend. 324 00:15:26,583 --> 00:15:29,785 Yeah. I mean, I'm down to... 325 00:15:29,787 --> 00:15:31,419 hang. 326 00:15:31,421 --> 00:15:35,133 Um, before we lock in any logistics... 327 00:15:35,144 --> 00:15:37,993 I've, u-um... 328 00:15:37,995 --> 00:15:40,561 gotten myself in a little bit of trouble. 329 00:15:42,532 --> 00:15:45,834 But, uh, I do need... I do need you to call 9-1-1. 330 00:15:45,836 --> 00:15:47,669 - What? - And then you know what? 331 00:15:47,671 --> 00:15:51,439 You pick dinner. It's totally on you. I'm cool with whatever. 332 00:15:51,441 --> 00:15:53,675 Jesus Christ, Abbi. 333 00:15:53,677 --> 00:15:56,477 You know, I've gotten New York City water droplets 334 00:15:56,479 --> 00:15:58,446 in my mouth before, and I was fine. 335 00:15:58,448 --> 00:16:01,182 I did have bloody stool for a week or two, 336 00:16:01,184 --> 00:16:03,083 but that's pretty typical for me in the summer. 337 00:16:03,085 --> 00:16:05,123 Well, this is conjunctivitis. 338 00:16:05,134 --> 00:16:06,209 - No! - Yes. 339 00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:08,723 You cannot get any closer than this to anyone. 340 00:16:08,725 --> 00:16:10,491 Please! I have a photoshoot tonight. 341 00:16:10,493 --> 00:16:11,968 What if I'm paired with a curly-haired, 342 00:16:11,979 --> 00:16:13,661 non-binary model, and it's a love scene? 343 00:16:13,663 --> 00:16:15,196 - And a little bit of a pinch. - Mm! 344 00:16:15,198 --> 00:16:16,831 One, two, three. 345 00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:18,790 - Okay. - Hey! Thank you. 346 00:16:18,801 --> 00:16:20,401 Okay, so this is gonna clear up my eye 347 00:16:20,403 --> 00:16:21,922 and make me "gorgus" for the evening. 348 00:16:21,933 --> 00:16:24,986 No, that's your third round of Hep B shots. 349 00:16:24,997 --> 00:16:26,914 You have another one scheduled for next month.. 350 00:16:26,925 --> 00:16:28,706 - Okay. - I'm gonna write you a prescription. 351 00:16:28,717 --> 00:16:31,946 And this is gonna clear your eye up in about two weeks. 352 00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:34,849 Two fuggin' weeks?! No, no, no! 353 00:16:34,851 --> 00:16:36,984 Look, honey, I'm a model now, 354 00:16:36,986 --> 00:16:39,019 and this here is my money maker. 355 00:16:39,021 --> 00:16:40,687 Don't you have something quicker, like... 356 00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:43,190 bovine growth hormone that Madonna shoves up her crack? 357 00:16:43,192 --> 00:16:45,625 I need something that will clear me up tonight. 358 00:16:45,627 --> 00:16:47,394 There is one option. 359 00:16:47,396 --> 00:16:48,996 Work those curls, Mama. 360 00:16:48,998 --> 00:16:51,065 Nasty little duet. Yeah! 361 00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:52,733 Kinky, kinky. 362 00:16:52,735 --> 00:16:55,269 Give me a... realness. Volume, volume. 363 00:16:55,271 --> 00:16:58,538 Yes. Work it, Mama. Yeah, Shirley Temple. 364 00:16:58,540 --> 00:17:00,807 Now lose the glasses, baby. 365 00:17:03,278 --> 00:17:04,744 Uh... Cut the music! 366 00:17:04,746 --> 00:17:07,413 What's with the patch? What is this? 367 00:17:07,415 --> 00:17:09,462 Today I'm serving, um... 368 00:17:09,473 --> 00:17:11,251 "Kill Bill" realness. 369 00:17:11,253 --> 00:17:13,386 Yeah, more like Bob Costas realness. 370 00:17:13,388 --> 00:17:15,154 Lose the patch. 371 00:17:15,165 --> 00:17:18,091 You don't want to see what's under here. 372 00:17:18,093 --> 00:17:20,760 - Well, then the shoot's over. - Whoa, whoa. What's the problem? 373 00:17:20,762 --> 00:17:22,061 Uh, and who are you? 374 00:17:22,063 --> 00:17:24,764 - I'm the manager/mother. - Stop it. 375 00:17:24,766 --> 00:17:28,501 You're curls make your daughter's curls look like trash. 376 00:17:28,503 --> 00:17:32,071 The rare triple helix... the Holy Grail of curls. 377 00:17:32,073 --> 00:17:33,539 You must sleep sitting up. 378 00:17:33,541 --> 00:17:35,707 Of course I do, I'm not an animal. 379 00:17:35,709 --> 00:17:38,210 This is really last minute, but we're totally in a bind. 380 00:17:38,922 --> 00:17:41,268 You could save the day. 381 00:17:44,018 --> 00:17:47,119 Whoo! You own everything. 382 00:17:47,121 --> 00:17:50,655 Louis Vuitton, CHANEL. 383 00:17:50,657 --> 00:17:55,027 All right... Yaas! Slay Curl Kween! 384 00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:57,462 For the family honor. 385 00:17:59,133 --> 00:18:01,466 "The cast is electric"? 386 00:18:01,468 --> 00:18:03,349 What an idiot. 387 00:18:19,486 --> 00:18:21,319 Wow. 388 00:18:54,899 --> 00:18:59,626 Okay, so this psycho dumped you a second time in one day 389 00:18:59,637 --> 00:19:02,170 while you're hanging between two buildings, 390 00:19:02,172 --> 00:19:04,306 two stories above concrete? 391 00:19:04,308 --> 00:19:06,308 - This bitch is a menace. - Right? 392 00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:09,554 But then there was, like, this fire woman that was rescuing me. 393 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,232 She was, like, carrying me down, and I was, like... 394 00:19:14,648 --> 00:19:16,484 "Who are you?" Like, she was hot. 395 00:19:16,486 --> 00:19:19,021 - Yas. - It's cool that I can see that now. 396 00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:23,025 I mean, the female form... God's hottest creation. 397 00:19:23,027 --> 00:19:24,731 Oh, yeah... "Made in Her image." 398 00:19:24,742 --> 00:19:27,662 It's a Catholic thing. 399 00:19:27,664 --> 00:19:30,198 Man, I'm just so bummed my modeling career 400 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,533 is over before it started. 401 00:19:31,535 --> 00:19:34,836 But my mom was incredible. 402 00:19:34,838 --> 00:19:36,271 - Wow. - She slayed. 403 00:19:36,273 --> 00:19:39,207 I got to show you. Oh, my God. She posted all about it. 404 00:19:39,209 --> 00:19:40,642 Who's that? Huh? 405 00:19:40,644 --> 00:19:42,144 Aww. Eliot. 406 00:19:43,646 --> 00:19:46,780 God, everybody's moving away, huh? 407 00:19:46,782 --> 00:19:49,417 But not the most important one. 408 00:19:49,419 --> 00:19:51,419 The most important person... 409 00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:53,087 ... of my life. 410 00:19:53,089 --> 00:19:55,056 I'd give everybody else up. 411 00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:57,825 Yeah. 412 00:19:57,836 --> 00:19:59,893 Show me... Why don't you show me pictures of your mom, 413 00:19:59,895 --> 00:20:01,329 - 'cause I didn't see it. - Yeah, I didn't even give it to ya. 414 00:20:01,331 --> 00:20:02,496 Here. 415 00:20:02,498 --> 00:20:04,498 Holy shit. 416 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,566 Wow. 417 00:20:05,568 --> 00:20:07,068 I'm like, "Go, girl!" 418 00:20:07,070 --> 00:20:09,503 Slay, girl. Work it, girl. 419 00:20:09,505 --> 00:20:11,672 "Covergirl! Slay, Mama!" 420 00:20:11,674 --> 00:20:12,906 - Covergirl! - Covergirl! 421 00:20:12,908 --> 00:20:14,675 - Be the curl. - Covergirl! 422 00:20:14,677 --> 00:20:16,777 - Covergirl! - Covergirl. 423 00:20:16,779 --> 00:20:18,611 - Covergirl! - Covergirl! 424 00:20:18,613 --> 00:20:19,679 Devachan. 425 00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:22,349 - Covergirl! - Ow! Dude! 426 00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:23,984 - Ooh. Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. - Ow! 427 00:20:26,126 --> 00:20:28,542 - Synced and corrected by Shazi89 - - www.addic7ed.com - 30834

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