Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,359 --> 00:00:07,230
- Should we do it?
- Let's do it!
2
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,855
Let's do it!
3
00:00:10,786 --> 00:00:12,049
Yeah!
4
00:00:12,060 --> 00:00:14,661
Oh, yeah!
5
00:00:15,114 --> 00:00:16,701
Yeah!
6
00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:21,200
Whoa!
7
00:00:21,211 --> 00:00:23,011
Who-a-a-a!
8
00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:25,155
Y-e-eah!
9
00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:27,200
- Whoa! Oh!
- Oh!
10
00:00:37,676 --> 00:00:39,031
Whoo!
11
00:00:40,338 --> 00:00:42,004
Oh! Yeah!
12
00:00:42,006 --> 00:00:43,172
Yeah!
13
00:00:45,326 --> 00:00:46,775
We made a drink!
14
00:00:46,777 --> 00:00:48,177
- Yeah!
- Excuse me.
15
00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:49,878
Excuse me! Hey!
16
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,615
Uh... can I get a drink here or what.
17
00:00:58,922 --> 00:01:00,022
Here you go.
18
00:01:00,024 --> 00:01:01,614
Happy birthday, Craig.
19
00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:03,224
Retirement. Thanks.
20
00:01:05,738 --> 00:01:06,761
Whoops!
21
00:01:15,446 --> 00:01:17,763
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
22
00:01:17,774 --> 00:01:20,808
Your ankle is the size of a grapefruit.
23
00:01:20,810 --> 00:01:22,877
How did you not realize it was sprained?
24
00:01:22,879 --> 00:01:24,379
I mean, by that point in the night,
25
00:01:24,381 --> 00:01:26,481
I wasn't feeling much of anything.
26
00:01:26,483 --> 00:01:28,749
I learned that tequila is an upper...
27
00:01:28,751 --> 00:01:30,851
I feel like it was, like, psychological,
28
00:01:30,853 --> 00:01:32,587
like the Gazebo effect.
29
00:01:32,589 --> 00:01:34,388
Placebo effect?
30
00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:37,324
Yeah. Yeah.
31
00:01:37,326 --> 00:01:39,393
I thought that you said
you were working.
32
00:01:39,395 --> 00:01:42,062
It was just, like, a
really lame catering gig,
33
00:01:42,064 --> 00:01:43,530
so we were, like, trying
to make the most of it.
34
00:01:44,933 --> 00:01:46,766
Thank you so much
for coming over, Lesley.
35
00:01:46,768 --> 00:01:48,968
You're the best girlfriend...
36
00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:51,938
Whoa, girlfriend?
37
00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:54,971
- Yeah. I mean, or partner. I like...
- You...
38
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,767
- I like "girlfriend."
- You know, this...
39
00:01:56,778 --> 00:01:58,978
I think this actually brings up
an interesting point.
40
00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:01,081
"Partner." Yeah. "Partner"
is more lesbian.
41
00:02:01,083 --> 00:02:04,084
- No, no. Abb... Please don't... Abbi.
- I... I... Like, I know this now.
42
00:02:04,086 --> 00:02:06,253
I actually think that...
43
00:02:06,255 --> 00:02:09,456
that we should stop doing...
44
00:02:09,458 --> 00:02:11,657
this.
45
00:02:11,659 --> 00:02:13,126
Wait, okay. Okay.
46
00:02:13,128 --> 00:02:15,561
Is this about the...
the "placebo" thing...
47
00:02:15,563 --> 00:02:20,209
No, Abbi, it's... It's a
lot bigger than that.
48
00:02:26,241 --> 00:02:27,640
♪ The mail, the mail ♪
49
00:02:27,642 --> 00:02:28,875
♪ The mail ♪
50
00:02:28,877 --> 00:02:32,612
♪ The mail ♪
51
00:02:32,614 --> 00:02:34,480
Whoa, Yale.
52
00:02:34,482 --> 00:02:35,782
Too Kavanaugh.
53
00:02:35,784 --> 00:02:37,917
Cornell? You wish.
54
00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:39,518
Dartmouth. Too goyish.
55
00:02:40,688 --> 00:02:42,989
Okay!!
56
00:02:42,991 --> 00:02:44,523
Here it is!
57
00:02:44,525 --> 00:02:46,692
Hunter freaking College, bish.
58
00:02:46,694 --> 00:02:48,655
And...
59
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:55,301
I'm in, Hunter College. I'm freaking in!
60
00:02:55,303 --> 00:02:56,469
Master's, bitch.
61
00:02:56,471 --> 00:02:58,971
Doctorate, bitch. MD, bitch.
62
00:02:58,973 --> 00:03:00,973
Well, Master's.
63
00:03:00,975 --> 00:03:02,931
Whoo! Grad student.
64
00:03:04,879 --> 00:03:09,482
Acceptance letter!
65
00:03:09,484 --> 00:03:10,820
Whoo!
66
00:03:24,531 --> 00:03:25,846
Hello.
67
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,455
Can I help you?
68
00:03:29,536 --> 00:03:32,870
I hear you offer student discounts.
69
00:03:32,872 --> 00:03:34,839
So, we can't give you a student discount
70
00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:38,410
if you don't have a student ID,
and this isn't a student ID.
71
00:03:38,412 --> 00:03:41,813
Okay, but this says that I will be
a student in like three months.
72
00:03:41,815 --> 00:03:43,014
Oh, three months?
73
00:03:43,016 --> 00:03:45,850
Oh, that's almost as long as we've
been having this conversation.
74
00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:48,386
Okay, Zahm Zena. Do we have a beef?
75
00:03:48,388 --> 00:03:49,921
Oh, my God, miss?
76
00:03:49,923 --> 00:03:52,723
- Okay. Jesus. I'm leaving.
- Oh, no, you're not.
77
00:03:52,725 --> 00:03:55,459
Your hair. It's perfect.
78
00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:58,662
The curls are so plump yet so light.
79
00:03:58,664 --> 00:04:00,631
Moi?
80
00:04:00,633 --> 00:04:02,566
Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
81
00:04:02,568 --> 00:04:04,019
I know this is crazy,
82
00:04:04,037 --> 00:04:06,888
but would you consider modeling for us?
83
00:04:06,899 --> 00:04:09,606
Stop. Okay, stop. Is this
some sort of perverted prank?
84
00:04:09,608 --> 00:04:11,375
Are you in on this... 'Cause you've
been a bitch the whole time?
85
00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:14,044
I know this is last-minute,
but we're doing a shoot tonight.
86
00:04:16,949 --> 00:04:18,549
You know what? I think that'll be good.
87
00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:20,917
Perfection... Just like your curls.
88
00:04:20,919 --> 00:04:23,721
See you back here at 6:00
and be camera ready.
89
00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:26,156
Okay, 6:00 P.M., camera ready.
90
00:04:26,158 --> 00:04:29,117
Oh, my God, did you see that?
That was amazing.
91
00:04:29,128 --> 00:04:30,675
I'm on a call right now. I can't talk.
92
00:04:30,686 --> 00:04:32,753
Okay, something seems
very locked up inside of you,
93
00:04:32,764 --> 00:04:36,166
so when you decide to change your
life with therapy, give me a call.
94
00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:39,635
I don't understand.
95
00:04:39,637 --> 00:04:42,805
Like, Lesley, I-I like you so much.
96
00:04:42,807 --> 00:04:44,875
We're just not on the same page.
97
00:04:44,877 --> 00:04:46,142
I'm a doctor.
98
00:04:46,144 --> 00:04:49,296
I do jiu-jitsu and have hobbies.
And you...
99
00:04:49,307 --> 00:04:51,975
You just don't really feel
like an adult yet.
100
00:04:51,986 --> 00:04:54,584
And I'm sure your life is fun,
101
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:58,588
but it's really just kind of
a series of wild shenanigans.
102
00:04:59,912 --> 00:05:00,956
Wow.
103
00:05:00,958 --> 00:05:02,491
Shenanigans?
104
00:05:02,493 --> 00:05:06,962
You're 20s are for...
wild "shenanigans."
105
00:05:06,964 --> 00:05:08,370
But aren't you 30?
106
00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:11,600
Wow, wow. You're fucking nuts, Lesley!
107
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,202
- What?!
- Yeah. Yeah, you're nuts.
108
00:05:13,204 --> 00:05:16,538
I'm just saying that you need
to grow up a little bit.
109
00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:18,274
Mm. Okay. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah.
110
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:21,510
You know what... I write
thank-you notes all the time.
111
00:05:21,512 --> 00:05:23,178
And my phone screen isn't even cracked.
112
00:05:23,180 --> 00:05:25,106
And guess what, Lesley?
I'm going to a play today.
113
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,102
- I'm going to a matinée.
- Yeah, with Ilana's parents,
114
00:05:27,113 --> 00:05:28,724
who, I'm assuming, paid for the tickets.
115
00:05:28,735 --> 00:05:30,652
Actually, you know what, Lesley?
I think that we're done.
116
00:05:30,654 --> 00:05:32,521
I think that you should
get out of my house.
117
00:05:32,523 --> 00:05:34,956
Finally on the same page
about something.
118
00:05:37,756 --> 00:05:42,063
You know what? Why don't you take
your ugly-ass hat back, too.
119
00:05:42,065 --> 00:05:43,864
Fine. I will.
120
00:05:43,866 --> 00:05:47,468
Of course it looks cute on you.
Whatever. God!
121
00:05:47,470 --> 00:05:50,004
Oh, shit!
122
00:05:50,006 --> 00:05:52,573
Great. Well, thanks a lot. Now I
do have a crack in my screen,
123
00:05:52,575 --> 00:05:56,044
- thanks to your stupid boot.
- Oh, did the wig not protect it?
124
00:05:57,747 --> 00:05:59,780
It didn't.
125
00:06:03,353 --> 00:06:07,270
DevaCurl?! Oh, my freakin' God, Ilana!
126
00:06:07,281 --> 00:06:09,957
- I know. I know!
- You're gonna be a model.
127
00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:12,225
I literally could not
have done this without you guys.
128
00:06:12,227 --> 00:06:14,100
Also, I got into grad school today.
129
00:06:14,111 --> 00:06:15,563
What? That's fantastic.
130
00:06:15,565 --> 00:06:18,398
DevaCurl! Ah! Oh! I'm
coming to the shoot.
131
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,076
Of course you're coming.
You're my number-one curl inspo.
132
00:06:21,087 --> 00:06:23,671
DevaCurl. Ah.
133
00:06:23,673 --> 00:06:25,339
DevaCurl!
134
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:28,175
Devacu-u-u-u...
135
00:06:32,915 --> 00:06:34,381
uuuuuuuur...
136
00:06:43,032 --> 00:06:45,397
Yeah. That is adult.
137
00:06:45,408 --> 00:06:48,710
Whoo! She got the plaid slacks.
She got the pink sweater.
138
00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,445
She got the tortoise-shell clip, bish.
139
00:06:50,447 --> 00:06:52,588
- Yass! I love it!
- Oh, my gosh. Hold on.
140
00:06:52,599 --> 00:06:54,199
Is this a grad student?
141
00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:56,076
- Oh, well, mm... Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Mm!
142
00:06:56,087 --> 00:06:58,586
- Yes!
- I'm so proud of you, dude.
143
00:06:58,588 --> 00:07:00,060
- Congrats!
- Thank you!
144
00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:02,639
And you must be my sexy professor.
145
00:07:02,650 --> 00:07:04,983
Wow, Lesley is a true monster
146
00:07:04,994 --> 00:07:07,395
if she can break up with you
looking like this.
147
00:07:07,406 --> 00:07:09,906
Yeah, well... she said
I'm not "adult" enough
148
00:07:09,917 --> 00:07:11,384
- for her, so...
- Oh!
149
00:07:11,395 --> 00:07:14,262
I didn't realize she was
a fucking heinous bitch.
150
00:07:14,273 --> 00:07:16,145
She smells like fucking shit.
151
00:07:16,156 --> 00:07:18,880
- She doesn't smell like shit.
- Always hated her... never liked her.
152
00:07:18,891 --> 00:07:20,875
Listen, it's fine, because
I have been flooding
153
00:07:20,877 --> 00:07:23,610
my Instagram account
with adult-ass pics all day
154
00:07:23,612 --> 00:07:25,579
so she can see what
she's missing out on.
155
00:07:25,581 --> 00:07:28,081
Wow. I love it. Hence The New Yorker.
156
00:07:28,083 --> 00:07:30,213
Hence The New Yorker, indeed.
157
00:07:30,224 --> 00:07:32,285
Whatever. Enough about Lesley, okay?
158
00:07:32,287 --> 00:07:34,463
Okay, so, um... I am scared
159
00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:36,122
that my brother is leaving the city.
160
00:07:36,124 --> 00:07:37,924
You know, I-I know that
he's obviously going
161
00:07:37,926 --> 00:07:39,853
to be the perfect Jewish-Canadian VJ...
162
00:07:39,864 --> 00:07:42,606
I'm sorry. Is your eye okay?
163
00:07:42,617 --> 00:07:45,200
I'm just going for, like, a
structured architectural brow today.
164
00:07:45,211 --> 00:07:47,814
No, no. Like, it's red. It
looks really irritated.
165
00:07:47,825 --> 00:07:49,836
Yeah, I got this, like,
AC drop in my eye before.
166
00:07:49,838 --> 00:07:52,739
It was just, like, air conditioning
pre-cum... like Ninja Turtle juice.
167
00:07:52,741 --> 00:07:54,307
It's fine.
168
00:07:54,309 --> 00:07:55,711
Is it, though?
169
00:07:55,722 --> 00:07:58,577
Yeah, I'll just flush it out
when I cry at the play later.
170
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:01,047
O-o-oh!
171
00:08:01,049 --> 00:08:03,749
Oh, my God!
172
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:06,096
I didn't tell you the best news of all.
173
00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:11,057
Lordy, lordy... ♪ 'Cause Janet be 40 ♪
174
00:08:11,059 --> 00:08:14,760
Yep, yep, yep, yep! Whoo-whoo!
175
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:17,363
- What?
- Girl, I got scouted...
176
00:08:17,365 --> 00:08:20,033
to model... for Devachan.
177
00:08:20,035 --> 00:08:21,951
Okay? Whoo!
178
00:08:21,962 --> 00:08:23,703
- This is the Vision Board.
- That's it.
179
00:08:23,714 --> 00:08:24,828
- Yes!
- Yes!
180
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:37,616
Oh, here she is!
181
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:41,807
My star... my DevaCurl star.
182
00:08:42,557 --> 00:08:43,738
No, we had a wild night.
183
00:08:43,749 --> 00:08:47,025
Eliot, your sister
is a DevaCurl hair model!
184
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,744
I mean, this is really, very exciting
185
00:08:48,755 --> 00:08:50,729
about the modeling, but, please...
186
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:53,298
let us not forget
this is Eliot's special day.
187
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,501
It is bon voyage to New York.
188
00:08:55,503 --> 00:08:57,035
My favorite neighborhood, no less...
189
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,019
the Theater District.
190
00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:01,006
Would it kill you to put a
smile on your pretty face?
191
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:03,476
You have a simply spectacular smile...
192
00:09:03,478 --> 00:09:05,844
- my sweet baby.
- Hey, hey, hey, lady.
193
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:09,180
You want a picture with my daughter?
She's a very famous hair model.
194
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,949
Can we just go inside, please?
195
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,017
Yeah, you know, we got
to cash in on this, El.
196
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:17,054
I mean, one of those whats-their-faces
is worth, like, a billion dollars.
197
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:21,192
You know, you really should
be putting weight on the good foot.
198
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,227
Yeah, but it's... I wanted the heel,
199
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,029
so it just, like, works.
200
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:27,665
Look at how fast you're going. Good job.
201
00:09:28,554 --> 00:09:30,301
Hey, girls.
202
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,371
Hungry?
203
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:34,572
She's a professional.
204
00:09:52,136 --> 00:09:54,761
Someone's making a dank Instagram story.
205
00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:56,960
Yes, it's a story about a grown
206
00:09:56,962 --> 00:09:59,630
woman at the theater.
207
00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:01,065
Theater, yes.
208
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:03,167
It's starting. Damn it.
209
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:07,846
I'm so sick of this attic!
210
00:10:08,331 --> 00:10:11,275
Walk it off, Anne Frank!
211
00:10:17,248 --> 00:10:19,040
Please enjoy a brief intermission.
212
00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:20,903
Wow.
213
00:10:20,914 --> 00:10:22,313
They're gonna win that Tony.
214
00:10:22,324 --> 00:10:27,857
Oh, my God. Dude... Does your eye stink?
215
00:10:29,127 --> 00:10:30,493
Hoo!
216
00:10:30,495 --> 00:10:32,662
Yeah, it stinks. What's going...
217
00:10:32,664 --> 00:10:34,664
Holy shit! Ilana...
218
00:10:34,666 --> 00:10:36,313
It smells like prosciutt.
219
00:10:36,324 --> 00:10:38,421
You cannot go to the
DevaCurl shoot like this.
220
00:10:38,432 --> 00:10:40,002
You got to go to a doctor right away
221
00:10:40,004 --> 00:10:42,363
and get this cleared up,
for the family honor!
222
00:10:42,374 --> 00:10:44,265
Doctor? I don't have a "doctor" "here."
223
00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:45,680
Wait, you don't have a doctor here?
224
00:10:45,691 --> 00:10:47,761
No one in the city does.
That's why it's a cesspool.
225
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,849
All right, it's an emergency!
Go to the emergency room.
226
00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:51,346
- Go to St. Vincent's.
- It's condos.
227
00:10:51,348 --> 00:10:52,880
- All right, so Cabrini!
- Also condos.
228
00:10:52,891 --> 00:10:54,784
How 'bout that what's-his-name
doctor on Houston St.?
229
00:10:54,786 --> 00:10:56,218
It's not condos, but it's a Whole Foods.
230
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:59,354
- Again, why do you love this city?
- You got to get an ambulance.
231
00:10:59,356 --> 00:11:01,148
You... You smell like a dog's ass.
232
00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:02,803
- What'd you say?
- A dog's ass.
233
00:11:02,814 --> 00:11:04,794
Dog's ass... That's it?
234
00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:06,201
- What?
- Mwah!
235
00:11:06,212 --> 00:11:08,497
Okay, I know who can cure me.
I got this.
236
00:11:08,499 --> 00:11:10,032
Oh, I hope so.
237
00:11:10,034 --> 00:11:12,468
Oh, God.
238
00:11:12,470 --> 00:11:16,105
Save me! Come on.
239
00:11:21,928 --> 00:11:24,228
Hey, can you drive me downtown
and just weave
240
00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:25,530
in and out of traffic very fast?
241
00:11:25,532 --> 00:11:27,299
Listen, I'm not a pedicab driver.
242
00:11:27,301 --> 00:11:29,200
I'm a real estate broker. Read the sign.
243
00:11:29,202 --> 00:11:31,068
Okay, then why do you have a pedicab?
244
00:11:31,070 --> 00:11:32,837
It's the fastest way to get clients
245
00:11:32,839 --> 00:11:34,872
to apartments for multiple viewing.
246
00:11:34,874 --> 00:11:37,342
You know, I think I-I know you.
247
00:11:37,344 --> 00:11:39,076
- Are you a cop?
- No.
248
00:11:39,078 --> 00:11:42,180
But you showed my friend and
I an apartment years ago,
249
00:11:42,182 --> 00:11:43,782
a bunch of shitty apartment.
250
00:11:43,784 --> 00:11:46,250
I mean, they were
all literal crime scenes.
251
00:11:46,252 --> 00:11:48,420
Oh, yeah, crime scene homes
are my speciality.
252
00:11:48,422 --> 00:11:51,873
You know, I got an ex that works
in the NYPD. He hooks me up.
253
00:11:51,884 --> 00:11:53,758
I just give him a hand job
once and a while.
254
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,928
Okay, since we have a history
can I please get a ride?
255
00:11:55,939 --> 00:11:57,594
This is a modeling emergency.
256
00:11:57,596 --> 00:11:59,864
Look, I've been pedaling
my butt off all day.
257
00:11:59,866 --> 00:12:01,098
I mean, look at my feet.
258
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:03,567
Oh, Jesus Christ.
259
00:12:03,569 --> 00:12:05,536
Wait a minute. Flex that thigh.
260
00:12:05,538 --> 00:12:07,138
Whoopsie!
261
00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,639
I can see your short and curlies.
262
00:12:08,641 --> 00:12:10,007
Let's go!
263
00:12:11,177 --> 00:12:12,376
Damn.
264
00:12:12,378 --> 00:12:13,945
There you go. You got it.
265
00:12:13,947 --> 00:12:16,047
You should see your ass from back here.
266
00:12:16,049 --> 00:12:19,217
It's amazing. It looks like a big heart.
267
00:12:19,219 --> 00:12:22,286
- Thank you, Pam... Move! Scram!
- Oh, let's go!
268
00:12:22,288 --> 00:12:24,055
We have a medical emergency!
269
00:12:24,057 --> 00:12:26,157
- Look out for the baby... the baby!
- Get out of the way!
270
00:12:30,128 --> 00:12:33,129
Well, well, well, Lesley.
271
00:12:33,131 --> 00:12:35,598
One of these babies could've been yours.
272
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,600
Shit.
273
00:12:37,602 --> 00:12:39,736
Lighting is terrible in here.
274
00:12:39,738 --> 00:12:43,073
Gotta find another light... source.
275
00:12:53,151 --> 00:12:55,051
Yes! Daylight.
276
00:12:56,355 --> 00:12:57,754
Here we go.
277
00:12:57,756 --> 00:13:00,323
Lesley's not gonna know what hit her.
278
00:13:09,443 --> 00:13:11,976
Shenanigans.
279
00:13:14,487 --> 00:13:15,719
Okay.
280
00:13:18,224 --> 00:13:19,857
Oh, my God. Yes.
281
00:13:19,859 --> 00:13:23,194
Ah! Yes!
282
00:13:24,397 --> 00:13:26,497
Hello? Somebody?
283
00:13:26,499 --> 00:13:27,865
H-Hello?
284
00:13:27,867 --> 00:13:30,168
Abbi? It's Lesley.
285
00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:35,472
Hey. Lesley.
286
00:13:37,176 --> 00:13:39,776
What's up... girl?
287
00:13:45,446 --> 00:13:48,151
Okay, I'm sorry. I have to
go before you. I'm a model.
288
00:13:49,555 --> 00:13:52,789
- The doctor's with a patient!
- Yeah, I'm a model.
289
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:55,124
S-Stop!
290
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,026
Doctor... Ohh! Sorry.
291
00:13:57,028 --> 00:13:58,562
Ilana, I told you...
292
00:13:58,564 --> 00:14:01,717
I can not spay-neuter a human,
and it is not reversible.
293
00:14:01,728 --> 00:14:04,501
No, I-I Googled that...
you were right about it.
294
00:14:04,503 --> 00:14:06,102
I'm here about this.
295
00:14:07,539 --> 00:14:10,339
Ugh. Okay.
296
00:14:10,341 --> 00:14:12,875
That looks bad. Have a seat.
297
00:14:12,877 --> 00:14:14,711
Okay, good girl. Good girl.
298
00:14:14,713 --> 00:14:16,278
Good... Good girl!
299
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,949
Well, I actually wanted
to apologize to you.
300
00:14:19,951 --> 00:14:21,383
For before.
301
00:14:21,385 --> 00:14:23,319
Oh, yeah, yeah.
302
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,855
Oh, did you see my Instagram?
303
00:14:25,857 --> 00:14:29,025
- What?
- Never mind. Wh-Wh-What's up?
304
00:14:30,435 --> 00:14:35,589
Look, the truth is,
I'm really set in my ways,
305
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,701
and maybe I'm self-sabotaging
this whole things
306
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:41,370
because I have a lot of fun with you...
307
00:14:41,372 --> 00:14:42,972
shenanigans and all.
308
00:14:42,974 --> 00:14:45,274
I mean, who am I to
judge the way you live?
309
00:14:45,276 --> 00:14:47,243
You know, you're...
you're figuring it out.
310
00:14:47,245 --> 00:14:51,079
Wow. Well, thanks...
311
00:14:51,081 --> 00:14:52,548
I mean, thank you for saying that.
312
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:54,717
I...
313
00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:57,085
You really hurt my feelings
this morning.
314
00:14:57,087 --> 00:14:59,855
I know, and I'm so sorry.
315
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:03,726
Do you think there's any way
that we can try this again?
316
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:05,728
You mean, like, get back together?
317
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:08,264
Yes. I'd really like
to keep seeing you, Abbi.
318
00:15:08,266 --> 00:15:09,698
I think you're great.
319
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,433
Well, I think you're great, too.
320
00:15:11,435 --> 00:15:15,837
I mean, what are you, uh...
321
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,908
What are you doing tonight?
322
00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:22,577
Well, I think I may have a date
323
00:15:22,579 --> 00:15:26,581
with my very adult,
very sexy artist girlfriend.
324
00:15:26,583 --> 00:15:29,785
Yeah. I mean, I'm down to...
325
00:15:29,787 --> 00:15:31,419
hang.
326
00:15:31,421 --> 00:15:35,133
Um, before we lock in any logistics...
327
00:15:35,144 --> 00:15:37,993
I've, u-um...
328
00:15:37,995 --> 00:15:40,561
gotten myself in
a little bit of trouble.
329
00:15:42,532 --> 00:15:45,834
But, uh, I do need...
I do need you to call 9-1-1.
330
00:15:45,836 --> 00:15:47,669
- What?
- And then you know what?
331
00:15:47,671 --> 00:15:51,439
You pick dinner. It's totally on you.
I'm cool with whatever.
332
00:15:51,441 --> 00:15:53,675
Jesus Christ, Abbi.
333
00:15:53,677 --> 00:15:56,477
You know, I've gotten New
York City water droplets
334
00:15:56,479 --> 00:15:58,446
in my mouth before, and I was fine.
335
00:15:58,448 --> 00:16:01,182
I did have bloody stool
for a week or two,
336
00:16:01,184 --> 00:16:03,083
but that's pretty typical
for me in the summer.
337
00:16:03,085 --> 00:16:05,123
Well, this is conjunctivitis.
338
00:16:05,134 --> 00:16:06,209
- No!
- Yes.
339
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:08,723
You cannot get any closer
than this to anyone.
340
00:16:08,725 --> 00:16:10,491
Please! I have a photoshoot tonight.
341
00:16:10,493 --> 00:16:11,968
What if I'm paired with a curly-haired,
342
00:16:11,979 --> 00:16:13,661
non-binary model, and it's a love scene?
343
00:16:13,663 --> 00:16:15,196
- And a little bit of a pinch.
- Mm!
344
00:16:15,198 --> 00:16:16,831
One, two, three.
345
00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:18,790
- Okay.
- Hey! Thank you.
346
00:16:18,801 --> 00:16:20,401
Okay, so this is gonna clear up my eye
347
00:16:20,403 --> 00:16:21,922
and make me "gorgus" for the evening.
348
00:16:21,933 --> 00:16:24,986
No, that's your third
round of Hep B shots.
349
00:16:24,997 --> 00:16:26,914
You have another one
scheduled for next month..
350
00:16:26,925 --> 00:16:28,706
- Okay.
- I'm gonna write you a prescription.
351
00:16:28,717 --> 00:16:31,946
And this is gonna clear your
eye up in about two weeks.
352
00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:34,849
Two fuggin' weeks?! No, no, no!
353
00:16:34,851 --> 00:16:36,984
Look, honey, I'm a model now,
354
00:16:36,986 --> 00:16:39,019
and this here is my money maker.
355
00:16:39,021 --> 00:16:40,687
Don't you have something
quicker, like...
356
00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:43,190
bovine growth hormone that
Madonna shoves up her crack?
357
00:16:43,192 --> 00:16:45,625
I need something that
will clear me up tonight.
358
00:16:45,627 --> 00:16:47,394
There is one option.
359
00:16:47,396 --> 00:16:48,996
Work those curls, Mama.
360
00:16:48,998 --> 00:16:51,065
Nasty little duet. Yeah!
361
00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:52,733
Kinky, kinky.
362
00:16:52,735 --> 00:16:55,269
Give me a... realness. Volume, volume.
363
00:16:55,271 --> 00:16:58,538
Yes. Work it, Mama.
Yeah, Shirley Temple.
364
00:16:58,540 --> 00:17:00,807
Now lose the glasses, baby.
365
00:17:03,278 --> 00:17:04,744
Uh... Cut the music!
366
00:17:04,746 --> 00:17:07,413
What's with the patch? What is this?
367
00:17:07,415 --> 00:17:09,462
Today I'm serving, um...
368
00:17:09,473 --> 00:17:11,251
"Kill Bill" realness.
369
00:17:11,253 --> 00:17:13,386
Yeah, more like Bob Costas realness.
370
00:17:13,388 --> 00:17:15,154
Lose the patch.
371
00:17:15,165 --> 00:17:18,091
You don't want to see what's under here.
372
00:17:18,093 --> 00:17:20,760
- Well, then the shoot's over.
- Whoa, whoa. What's the problem?
373
00:17:20,762 --> 00:17:22,061
Uh, and who are you?
374
00:17:22,063 --> 00:17:24,764
- I'm the manager/mother.
- Stop it.
375
00:17:24,766 --> 00:17:28,501
You're curls make your daughter's
curls look like trash.
376
00:17:28,503 --> 00:17:32,071
The rare triple helix...
the Holy Grail of curls.
377
00:17:32,073 --> 00:17:33,539
You must sleep sitting up.
378
00:17:33,541 --> 00:17:35,707
Of course I do, I'm not an animal.
379
00:17:35,709 --> 00:17:38,210
This is really last minute,
but we're totally in a bind.
380
00:17:38,922 --> 00:17:41,268
You could save the day.
381
00:17:44,018 --> 00:17:47,119
Whoo! You own everything.
382
00:17:47,121 --> 00:17:50,655
Louis Vuitton, CHANEL.
383
00:17:50,657 --> 00:17:55,027
All right... Yaas! Slay Curl Kween!
384
00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:57,462
For the family honor.
385
00:17:59,133 --> 00:18:01,466
"The cast is electric"?
386
00:18:01,468 --> 00:18:03,349
What an idiot.
387
00:18:19,486 --> 00:18:21,319
Wow.
388
00:18:54,899 --> 00:18:59,626
Okay, so this psycho dumped you
a second time in one day
389
00:18:59,637 --> 00:19:02,170
while you're hanging
between two buildings,
390
00:19:02,172 --> 00:19:04,306
two stories above concrete?
391
00:19:04,308 --> 00:19:06,308
- This bitch is a menace.
- Right?
392
00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:09,554
But then there was, like, this
fire woman that was rescuing me.
393
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,232
She was, like, carrying me down,
and I was, like...
394
00:19:14,648 --> 00:19:16,484
"Who are you?" Like, she was hot.
395
00:19:16,486 --> 00:19:19,021
- Yas.
- It's cool that I can see that now.
396
00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:23,025
I mean, the female form...
God's hottest creation.
397
00:19:23,027 --> 00:19:24,731
Oh, yeah... "Made in Her image."
398
00:19:24,742 --> 00:19:27,662
It's a Catholic thing.
399
00:19:27,664 --> 00:19:30,198
Man, I'm just so bummed
my modeling career
400
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,533
is over before it started.
401
00:19:31,535 --> 00:19:34,836
But my mom was incredible.
402
00:19:34,838 --> 00:19:36,271
- Wow.
- She slayed.
403
00:19:36,273 --> 00:19:39,207
I got to show you. Oh, my God.
She posted all about it.
404
00:19:39,209 --> 00:19:40,642
Who's that? Huh?
405
00:19:40,644 --> 00:19:42,144
Aww. Eliot.
406
00:19:43,646 --> 00:19:46,780
God, everybody's moving away, huh?
407
00:19:46,782 --> 00:19:49,417
But not the most important one.
408
00:19:49,419 --> 00:19:51,419
The most important person...
409
00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:53,087
... of my life.
410
00:19:53,089 --> 00:19:55,056
I'd give everybody else up.
411
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:57,825
Yeah.
412
00:19:57,836 --> 00:19:59,893
Show me... Why don't you
show me pictures of your mom,
413
00:19:59,895 --> 00:20:01,329
- 'cause I didn't see it.
- Yeah, I didn't even give it to ya.
414
00:20:01,331 --> 00:20:02,496
Here.
415
00:20:02,498 --> 00:20:04,498
Holy shit.
416
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,566
Wow.
417
00:20:05,568 --> 00:20:07,068
I'm like, "Go, girl!"
418
00:20:07,070 --> 00:20:09,503
Slay, girl. Work it, girl.
419
00:20:09,505 --> 00:20:11,672
"Covergirl! Slay, Mama!"
420
00:20:11,674 --> 00:20:12,906
- Covergirl!
- Covergirl!
421
00:20:12,908 --> 00:20:14,675
- Be the curl.
- Covergirl!
422
00:20:14,677 --> 00:20:16,777
- Covergirl!
- Covergirl.
423
00:20:16,779 --> 00:20:18,611
- Covergirl!
- Covergirl!
424
00:20:18,613 --> 00:20:19,679
Devachan.
425
00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:22,349
- Covergirl!
- Ow! Dude!
426
00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:23,984
- Ooh. Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry.
- Ow!
427
00:20:26,126 --> 00:20:28,542
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
30834
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
