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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,314 HARRY: Man, will you look at all the hot tail running around this place? 2 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,351 Look, look. Oh, God. 3 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:05,950 Dad, listen, could you just... Please, please don't embarrass me today, okay? 4 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:07,513 - Embarrass you? - Not today. 5 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,517 Son, you spent the entire summer depressed 6 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,200 because your girlfriend ran off with that pretty boy, Trent. 7 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,073 Now, you gotta get out there and crush some ass! 8 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,519 It's the only way to get your mind off her. 9 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,200 - Yes. Yes, that is what I'm talking about. - Yes, huh? 10 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,311 "Crush some ass"? Oh, come on. 11 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,393 Wait, wait, wait. 12 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,954 - I'll show you how it's done. - Oh, no. No, no, no. 13 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,798 - HARRY: Watch this. Just watch and learn. - Just please drive. 14 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,832 HARRY: Excuse me, ladies? Hi. Hi. 15 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,155 - This is my son, Erik. - Hi. 16 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,993 (CLEARING THROAT) And he's moving in today, 17 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:41,238 and we were just wondering if maybe either of you were interested 18 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:42,952 in showing him a good time? 19 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,839 No, thanks. 20 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,038 COOZE: (LAUGHING) Oh! 21 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:48,309 HARRY: I'm sorry. 22 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,398 - He's a stallion, just like his old man! - No, Dad, come on! 23 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,430 (HARRY NEIGHING) 24 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:53,470 Well, I tried, Erik. 25 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,238 Yeah, thanks. Now I'm gonna have to transfer. 26 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:00,635 - Son, son? - Yeah. 27 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:01,954 I want to show you something. 28 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,436 That is the list of all the chicks I ever banged. 29 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,035 Are you serious? 30 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,435 - Is that two-sided? It is! Nice! - It is! 31 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,757 Yeah. It's a good goal for you to try to keep up with your old man. 32 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,028 Hey, Dad, why isn't Mom's name the last name on the list there? 33 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:18,070 Uh... 34 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:22,352 We didn't tell you, but when you were three, we had a trial separation for a week. 35 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:23,674 Trial... 36 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,073 Dad, there's like... Well, there's 10 names here for that week alone. 37 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,794 Yeah, I went on kind of a poon-tang bender, there. 38 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:30,955 Is that my mom's name? 39 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,640 Yeah, you know, on second thought, I'll just kind of hang on to that. 40 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,320 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Come on, guys. Let's get loaded here! 41 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,791 - I'm sorry. - Cooze, grab a box. 42 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,273 - Did you have sex with his mom? - Yeah. 43 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,435 How was it? 44 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:43,675 (EXCLAIMS DISGUSTEDLY) 45 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,955 Wow! This place is amazing. 46 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:55,915 Hi. 47 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,873 God, there are girls everywhere. 48 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:01,634 This is my room. 49 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,830 It still kind of sucks that we're not gonna be rooming together. 50 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,030 Dude, whatever. You're gonna be right down the hall. 51 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,832 Besides, I got a single. 52 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,678 - Hold on to this. I'm gonna find a bathroom. - All right. 53 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,438 I'll be right back. 54 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,357 Hi, how you doing? Mike Coozeman. Glad to meet you. 55 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,032 (UNZIPPING PANTS) 56 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,756 Wow. This is gonna take some getting used to. 57 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:24,869 (ERIK CHUCKLES) 58 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,754 Yeah, isn't this the guy's bathroom? 59 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,713 No, it's coed. All the dorms are like this. 60 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,278 Cool, coed, yeah. 61 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,277 Don't worry. I won't peek. 62 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,358 Yeah, I won't peek... I won't peek, either. 63 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,199 - ASHLEY: I'm Ashley, what's your name? - I'm Erik. 64 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,591 - ASHLEY: Well, it's nice to meet you, Erik. - It's nice to meet you, too. 65 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:47,789 (SHOWER RUNNING) 66 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,833 Hey, do you think you could pass me my shampoo? It's just right there. 67 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,915 - Yeah. Just give me a minute here, okay? - Thanks. 68 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,159 ASHLEY: Erik? 69 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,871 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 70 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,115 ASHLEY: Erik? 71 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,152 Alittle help here? 72 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,359 (SIGHS) 73 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,357 (GROANS) 74 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,758 BOBBY: Ride the white whale, baby! 75 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,029 Ride the white whale. 76 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,230 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, my God. Oh, man. I'm sorry. 77 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:32,270 I'm sorry, the doorwas... 78 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,753 - Hey, you must be Erik. - I am. 79 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:34,949 - I'm Bobby. - Hi. 80 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,354 - BOBBY: Hey. - Hey, hey. 81 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,232 - Come on in, man. - ERIK: No, no, no. It's... 82 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,158 - You guys are busy. I can come back later. - Okay, listen. This is your place, too, 83 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,589 and don't worry about Margie. She's not exactly shy. 84 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,119 (CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) No, she's not. 85 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:48,550 - Sit down. You want a beer? . - No. 86 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,477 - You sure? - ERIK: Yeah. 87 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,433 Are you hungry? Margie cooked up some mean bratwurst. 88 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:54,629 (BED CREAKING) 89 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:57,320 - No, I just had a sandwich. Thanks. - BOBBY: All right. 90 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,351 - Where're you from? - East Great Falls. 91 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:00,959 (GROANING) East Great Falls. 92 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,756 Slow down, sassy pants. 93 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,155 All right, baby? I'm trying to have a conversation. 94 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,349 Yeah. 95 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:14,317 - College! Yeah! Best years of our lives! - Yeah. 96 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,839 Put it up. 97 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,876 BOBBY: Oh, high... ERIK: High-five. 98 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,155 (MARGIE MOANING) 99 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,429 You wanna jump in on this? 100 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,755 - Come on. Margie loves it. - No, no, no. Margie, no, no. 101 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,632 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, I'm good. 102 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,638 Look, it was very nice to meet you, Bobby and Margie. 103 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:30,637 Actually, I just came to change my pants here. 104 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:34,594 I spilled a drink on it earlier, so I'm just gonna let you guys... Yeah. 105 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:35,596 (COUGHING) 106 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,153 Are you role-playing again? 107 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:41,068 Say the safe word, baby. Say the safe... Baby? Are you choking? 108 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,952 - Dude, I think she's choking! - What? 109 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,354 BOBBY: I think she's choking. You gotta do something. 110 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,390 - Do something. - BOBBY: I can't do anything! 111 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,112 I'm tied up and basted like a Thanksgiving turkey. 112 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:50,357 ERIK: All right, all right, all right. I got it. Hold on. From the spot. 113 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,595 Oh, my Jesus. 114 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:52,994 BOBBY: What do you want me to do with all this... 115 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,348 ERIK: Get out! 116 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,038 - Erik? No! - BOBBY: Sorry. 117 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,036 (BOBBY MOANING) 118 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,593 All right, son! 119 00:05:58,720 --> 00:05:59,596 (COUGHING) 120 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,109 Yeah! That's what being a Stifler's all about. 121 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,078 - No, no, no. She was choking. - HARRY: That's it! 122 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,474 - I was helping her. - That's how Stiflers do college. 123 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,194 Now, let's just give these kids some privacy. 124 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,151 (WHISPERING) Doing good. Keep it up. 125 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,475 I'm not trying to freak you out, roomie, but I just totally came. 126 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:51,914 Is this where Laura Johnson and Sara Coleman live? 127 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,956 Yeah, I'm Laura Johnson and this is my roommate, Sara. 128 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:57,669 My name is Dwight Stifler. 129 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,392 I'm here with the Freshman Welcoming Committee, 130 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,670 and I've been given instructions to escort you ladies 131 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,836 on a guided tour of the entire campus. 132 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,315 - That's so sweet. - Yeah. 133 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,556 Should we wear anything special? 134 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,916 Dude, there is no way that everybody in this is a student here. 135 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,031 Look, he's holding her boob. 136 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,275 He is. 137 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,995 No, man, they are. I've had a subscription for, like, a year. 138 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:23,633 That'll be good. 139 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,558 That's not a cologne ad. 140 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,990 I've used that exact issue more times than I can count. 141 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,275 (COOZE EXCLAIMS DISGUSTEDLY) 142 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,355 (SNIFFING) 143 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:34,959 You smell pretty. 144 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:37,669 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 145 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,314 - Sorry. - That was so uncalled for. 146 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,159 - Wow. - Is this Erik Stifler's room? 147 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,229 Yeah. 148 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,316 Welcome to college, boys. 149 00:07:58,280 --> 00:07:59,872 Yeah. No, I wouldn't lie to you. I'm dead serious. 150 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,753 Most sororities won't even give you a bid unless you've had a threesome. 151 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,836 It shows that you work well within the group dynamic, 152 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,393 and that you're really prepared for sisterhood. 153 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,430 You know what I'm saying? 154 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:08,993 - Really? - Yeah. 155 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,235 Oh, man. Who is this guy? 156 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,828 Dude, he's the reason we came to college here. 157 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,388 - You like that? - That was awesome. 158 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,432 You have to give a little bit back every now and then. 159 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,279 - Hey, hey, shower buddy! - Oh, hey. Hi. 160 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:27,469 Shower buddy? 161 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,433 Yeah, Erik and I met when I was showering this afternoon. 162 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,437 - Really? - Yeah. 163 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,313 Oh, right, the coed bathrooms. Yeah. 164 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,271 It took me about three years to get the board of trustees 165 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,550 to approve that one. Worth it. 166 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:40,238 Oh, Ashley, hi. This... 167 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,794 Everyone, this is Ashley. Ashley, this is everyone. 168 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:43,909 ASHLEY: Hi, everybody. 169 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,759 This is my roommate, Denise. She just came here from Georgia. 170 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,393 Hey, y'all. 171 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,717 Well, I do declare, a real life Scarlett O'Hara. 172 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:52,829 (GIGGLING) Oh, my. 173 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,393 Well, hey, you guys aren't taking off, are you? 174 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,637 Yeah, we're going to this cocktail mixer at the Epsilon Sigma Kappa House. 175 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,672 Oh, no, no, no. The Geek House? No, trust me. 176 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,268 - I wanna stay but... - ASHLEY: But we promised, so... 177 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,756 Plus, Ashley thinks this party is a little bit d�class�. 178 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:07,949 What? Like sleazy? 179 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,799 Hey, baby. How you doing, sweetheart? Grab a beer. 180 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:12,433 No, you got the wrong idea about this whole thing. 181 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:15,199 Look, this is just a little meet and greet that I set up to, sort of, 182 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:16,799 you know, demonstrate our school spirit 183 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,309 and our, you know, dedication to this university. 184 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,351 Beta House fucking rules! 185 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,359 (EXCLAIMING) 186 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:26,797 (COOZE LAUGHS) 187 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:29,589 (EXCLAIMS) 188 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,039 Real classy. 189 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,072 - Erik, it was really nice to see you again. - Yeah. 190 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,997 - Guys, till next time. - Yeah, see you. 191 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:37,348 GIRLS: Bye, guys. COOZE: Bye. 192 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,198 - It's nice to meet you. - See you. 193 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,118 Hey, Stifler, what's up with this Geek House? 194 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:43,434 Yeah, I never even heard of it. 195 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:48,236 I know a Geek house sounds harmless, but they are a nightmare. 196 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,473 DWIGHT: They were a social club for decades, 197 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,875 till a group of rich geeks came in and threw some money around, 198 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,991 built the house, got a new charter. 199 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,678 COOZE: Wait, a geek fraternity? 200 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,791 DWIGHT: To get in, you need, like, perfect SAT scores. 201 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,911 Transfer $2 million to my Swiss account. 202 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,430 DWIGHT: Then they check your family tree and calculate future earnings potential. 203 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:08,075 No, I said buy at 60, not sell at 60. You're fucking fired! 204 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,400 DWIGHT: They got billionaire alumni. 205 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:09,832 DWIGHT: They got billionaire alumni. 206 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,109 Hey, it's only 100 grand. 207 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:15,838 DWIGHT: They run the student government, and the faculty loves them. 208 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,796 But don't even get me started on the women. 209 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:23,149 They attract the most beautiful women from the entire school. 210 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,752 BOBBY: Who wants to hang out with a house full of geeks? 211 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,751 DWIGHT: It's a new world out there. 212 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,757 These women realise that the geeks are gonna be the millionaires 213 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:32,995 right out of school. 214 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,429 They've just adjusted their nesting habits. 215 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,398 Hey, don't sweat it. Beta's still where the party's at, right? 216 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:46,753 Look out! Stifler, the judging's about to begin. 217 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,279 (BULL EXHALES) 218 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,270 Judging? 219 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,958 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 220 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,275 (POP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS) 221 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,118 Oh, the Beta House never disappoints. 222 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,550 - Are you serious? It's always like this? - All the time. 223 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:10,393 - These girls are ridiculous. - Ridiculous. Get the clipboard. 224 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:16,749 (WHOOPING) 225 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,190 Sweetie, you are naughty. I am keeping you after class. 226 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:24,317 Bring that ruler. I've also been bad. 227 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,391 And this one over here's got great abs. 228 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,398 They look like fresh buttered rolls right out of the oven. 229 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,988 This is the best idea I've ever had! 230 00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:38,638 - No, I just... I can't handle it. - This is chicken scratch. You're a caveman. 231 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:39,433 She's pulling them out. She's pulling them out. 232 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,118 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 233 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,275 (ALL GASPING) 234 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,112 Perfect 10! 235 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,115 (BOTH WHOOPING) 236 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,196 - Beta! Beta! - ALL: Beta! Beta! 237 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:58,192 Ladies and gentlemen, depravity is haunting this university. 238 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:03,032 Sex, alcohol, vulgarity, stupidity. 239 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:07,435 Once, this was a respected institution of higher learning. 240 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,518 We are declaring a new age at this university. 241 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:11,868 An age in which a student's worth 242 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,594 is no longer measured by his blood alcohol level, 243 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,393 but rather, his GPA. 244 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:22,230 We formed this fraternity to change the way geeks are thought of in this country. 245 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,310 But as history has proven, 246 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,238 for a new civilization to emerge, 247 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,954 another must crumble. 248 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,274 We must destroy the Betas. 249 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:47,073 Hey, Stacey, my hands are wet. I can't get this beer open. 250 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,394 Will you do it for me? 251 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:57,918 Thanks. Those Kegel muscle exercises are really paying off, huh? 252 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,395 So what do we have to do to become Betas? 253 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,070 Well, obviously, you guys are cool with me. 254 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,430 What you need to do is impress the rush chair, Wesley. 255 00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:06,595 - Have you guys met Wesley? - ALL: Uh-uh. 256 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,039 You haven't? All right. He's in the other room. 257 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,673 Come on, I'll introduce you. Follow me. 258 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,791 (WESLEY PLAYING PIANO) 259 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,439 DWIGHT: Don't be fooled by his appearance. 260 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:20,632 His nickname is the Blackout Menace. 261 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:21,670 He's a perfect student, 262 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,756 except for his habit of getting belligerently drunk, 263 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,952 blacking out, causing complete and total mayhem, 264 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,798 and never remembering a thing. 265 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:39,955 Uh... 266 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,753 Excuse me. Where is this plane going to? 267 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,548 Detroit. 268 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,233 Thank God. 269 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,830 All right, excuse me. Where is it coming from? 270 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,188 Bangkok. 271 00:13:56,880 --> 00:14:00,634 - Whose kid is that? - Yours. You adopted him yesterday. 272 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,239 Congratulations. 273 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:06,875 Hey, buddy. 274 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,639 Are you serious? 275 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:14,469 Yep, just dropped Sung Lee off at their embassy this last week. 276 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,673 Kid nearly caused an international incident. 277 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,188 Wesley! 278 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:23,674 Sorry to interrupt. Wesley, this is my cousin and his buddies. 279 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,469 - Hi. - WESLEY: Hey. 280 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:26,919 - Erik, right? - ERIK: Yeah. 281 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,998 Mike Coozeman. How come we didn't see you last year? 282 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:33,237 I was in a Mexican jail. I had to tunnel my way out. 283 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:37,273 But I made it back in time for finals which is what we're all about here at Beta, 284 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,753 education. 285 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:40,515 Right. 286 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,198 - You wanna dance? - Yeah. 287 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:44,919 Let's get sexy. 288 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:46,915 (DWIGHT WHISTLING) 289 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,678 Hey, you ready? 290 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:52,190 There's a hundred hot horny chicks here tonight. I'm counting on you. 291 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,595 (POP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS) 292 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,676 Get some, baby! Get some! 293 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,519 (PLAYING PIANO) 294 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,916 (SINGING) Call me irresponsible 295 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:34,191 Call me unreliable 296 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,156 Oh, you gotta be kidding me! 297 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,068 (BANGING PIANO KEYBOARD) 298 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,590 Are you gonna start drinking? Because I desperately need a wing man. 299 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,156 No, I'm not drinking tonight, Bull. I had a rough night last week. 300 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,158 Oh, really? Really? That's fine. 301 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,350 Because then I just might have to tell these fine, young ladies 302 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:56,029 about a certain frat boy and a Mexican transvestite! 303 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,149 All right, all right, all right. 304 00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:59,959 One drink. 305 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,598 Yeah, just one. 306 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,309 DWIGHT: Hey. 307 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:24,829 What the hell's with you, man? 308 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:28,157 Can you not see all this prime ass a foot from your face? 309 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,396 Yeah, man, I see. It's... It's pretty cool. 310 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,318 Yeah, it's cool. You should be tearing it up! 311 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:34,316 You guys, it's just... 312 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,590 Remember last year? We came up here, I had the time of my life. 313 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,917 You know, I did stuff I neverwould have dreamed I would've ever done, 314 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,439 and I kind of figured it would change me. 315 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,313 Yeah, okay. So you got drunk and you ran naked, right? 316 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,590 But you blew it with a really hot sorority chick 317 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,711 to run home and have sex with your little girlfriend. 318 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,831 Yeah, Erik. That stunt might have won you points in high school, 319 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,837 - but this isn't high school. - No. 320 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:54,154 I guess you guys are right. 321 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,033 Listen, college is your one chance to start over. Okay? 322 00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,436 You get to hit the reset button on life. You get to be anybody you wanna be. 323 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,348 - Never thought of it like that before. - Yeah. Here, slug that. 324 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,558 - That a boy. Julie, this is my cousin, Erik. - JULIE: Hey. 325 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,433 I just wanted you to know Erik voted for you in the hottie contest, 326 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,676 and since he's, like, the ladies' man of the family, 327 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,677 I totally trust his taste. 328 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,238 - You want to dance, gorgeous? - I'd love to. 329 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,593 (SOFTLY) Anybody you wanna be. Yeah. 330 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,195 (POP MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS) 331 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,599 Wow, you can really put that away. 332 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,950 You kidding me? This stuff is like waterto me. 333 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,190 (MUSIC STOPS) 334 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:44,920 (ALL EXCLAIMING DISAPPOINTEDLY) 335 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,592 (ALL EXCLAIMING DISAPPOINTEDLY) 336 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,957 Hey, hey, everybody, settle down for a second! 337 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,230 We're just having a little, minor technical glitch. 338 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,749 No big deal. We'll get everything fixed up in a minute. 339 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:54,756 (EDGAR LAUGHING) 340 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,480 I don't think so, Stifler! 341 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,831 You see, you overloaded your prehistoric circuits. 342 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,713 I'm afraid your music won't be coming on forthe rest of the night. 343 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,912 Don't... Don't listen to him. We'll get everything fixed in a minute. 344 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,634 That won't matter because by Jake's calculations, 345 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,876 based on the amount of kegs and liquor you bought, 346 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,072 you should be running out, just about now. 347 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,760 - Bullshit. - The fucking kegs are dry! 348 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,074 (ALL EXCLAIMING DISAPPOINTEDLY) 349 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,316 We're out of fucking booze! 350 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:23,150 (BOBBY EXCLAIMING) 351 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:24,508 WESLEY: I know! 352 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,835 Settle down! It's fine. We'll make a beer run. 353 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,359 EDGAR: They could do that, 354 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:32,678 or you can all come to the Geek House where we have enough liquor to last a week, 355 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,439 along with all the champagne you can drink. 356 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,075 (EDGAR LAUGHS CONTENTEDLY) 357 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,909 We also have a heated pool and enough swimsuits for everyone. 358 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,190 That is, if you even want to wear one. 359 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:44,355 Yeah! 360 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:47,914 (GIRLS SHRIEKING) 361 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,951 Are you fucking kidding me? 362 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:51,752 Oh, it's your choice, people. 363 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,599 - Stay here and get puked on... - Okay, I'm out of here. 364 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,915 Or come party, VIP style. 365 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,395 All right! Let's go! Let's go! 366 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:00,999 (ALL CHEERING) 367 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:05,630 (WHOOPING) 368 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,759 Fucking Edgar. 369 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:11,790 (BULL GROWLING) 370 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,196 Prick really knows how to throw that money around, huh? 371 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,878 Oh, yeah. 372 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,878 Oh, but it doesn't help that numbnuts here barfed all overthe chicks, either. 373 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,353 DWIGHT: Yeah. 374 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,392 - Sorry about that. - You look disgusting. 375 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:26,349 (ALL EXCLAIM DISGUSTEDLY) 376 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:30,109 - Erik, for crying out loud, man! - I'll clean it up. 377 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,718 (SIGHING) 378 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,359 Not again. 379 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,159 Morning, sexy. 380 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,277 Some party, huh? 381 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,630 Hey, baby. How you doing? 382 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,199 No. No, no, no. 383 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,197 (MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 384 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,111 DWIGHT: How you feeling there, cuz? 385 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,790 A lot better. Thanks. 386 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,388 No need for thanks, we're family. 387 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,192 Right now, I gotta run. I gotta go down to the basement, 388 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,595 take care of some official Beta business. 389 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,995 - Have some of Peaches' eggs. - Okay. 390 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:14,917 All right. Thanks, Peaches. 391 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,439 (PEACHES SPEAKING SPANISH) 392 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:17,470 DWIGHT: Oh, buddy. 393 00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:20,395 (LAUGHING) 394 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,509 (WHOOPING) 395 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,278 - I need this place. - BULL: That a boy! 396 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,910 - WESLEY: Yeah. - Off the hook! Work it! 397 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,758 So, guys, the hard-on champ is in? 398 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:28,835 - Yeah! - ALL: All right. 399 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,313 BULL: Aye, aye. 400 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,916 DWIGHT: Yeah, I love this guy. 401 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:37,758 Beta? I love Beta! 402 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:38,790 (LAUGHING) 403 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,717 BOBBY: You like Beta, baby? DWIGHT: Best rack in the house, though. 404 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,558 I fucking love Beta, baby! 405 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:43,715 (LAUGHING) 406 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,831 Shut up! Shut up! Everyone calm down. 407 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,234 I told you I didn't want to drink. 408 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,874 Look how the pig squeals! Look how the pig squeals! 409 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,592 All in favour of Bobby Coolidge? 410 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:52,835 - Everyone. - Aye, aye. 411 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,154 - Aye, aye. - Aye, aye. 412 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,311 DWIGHT: All right, all right. 413 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,077 WESLEY: Oh, man! BULL: Jesus! 414 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,234 BULL: Holy crap! Wow! 415 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,749 WESLEY: Man, this guy really knows how to work a room. 416 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,110 Give him a bid. He'll be a pussy magnet, buddy. 417 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,719 Yeah! 418 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,312 BULL: Oh, no! 419 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:18,149 DWIGHT: Hey, hey, hey! All right, that's my cousin. Take it easy. 420 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:22,751 No offence, brother, okay? But I don't know if your cousin is up for the challenge, man. 421 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,872 I'm with Bull on this one. I mean, he's a nice kid, 422 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,673 but he passed up sleeping with Brandy, man. 423 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,358 All right, all right, all right. 424 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,153 Look, I know Erik missed his big chance to, like, sleep with the one girl 425 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,033 that, I'm assuming, everybody in this room would lop off your left nut to bang. 426 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:37,673 - Am I right? - BULL: Two nuts. 427 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,233 All right, does that mean he's not Beta material? 428 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:40,839 - Yes! - ALL: Yeah! 429 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:45,192 (SIGHING) He was young and dumb and in love. He's a... He's a late bloomer. 430 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,072 I think he's gonna surprise you this semester. 431 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,560 And anyway, he's a legacy, so he's automatically getting a bid. 432 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,391 So you can all fuck off. 433 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,871 - Aye. - Aye, aye! 434 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,070 DWIGHT: Yeah, that's what I thought, bitches. 435 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,076 (BULL LAUGHING) 436 00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,474 (TOILET FLUSHING) 437 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,351 - Hey, you. - Hi. 438 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,392 - We have to stop meeting like this. - (CHUCKLING) Yeah. 439 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,470 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I just had a really rough night. 440 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:19,908 (CHUCKLES) You know, I think Denise has a crush on yourfriend, Cooze. 441 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,678 She thinks he's sweet. 442 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,519 - Denise thinks Cooze is sweet? - Yeah. 443 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,439 - Wait, actually... - Erik, I... 444 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,632 - (SIGHING) I was thinking... - Look, I'm just thinking... 445 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,672 - Do you wanna go out with me once? - Yeah. 446 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,997 - Really? - Yeah. That would be really nice. 447 00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:44,317 Okay, keep... You have really pretty teeth, by the way. 448 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,518 (FIREALARM RINGING) 449 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:00,678 What's going on? 450 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,434 This sucks. 451 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,678 Hey, guys. Don't go that way. This way's quicker. 452 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:06,710 (BOBBY YAWNING) 453 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,673 - Dude, I left the best sandwich in my dorm. - COOZE: This sucks. 454 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,153 (ALL SIGHING) 455 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:13,915 (COOZE EXCLAIMS) 456 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,510 - Wait a second. Where are we? - I don't see any sandwiches here. 457 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,438 Hey, guys. You wanna see something? 458 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:23,430 (ALL GASPING) 459 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,437 - COOZE: Yes. - That is... 460 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,232 (EXCLAIMING) 461 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:42,839 Gentlemen, 462 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,512 today is the first day of the rest of your lives. 463 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:51,555 You are the select few who have been chosen to pledge the Beta House. 464 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,193 Beta, baby! 465 00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:01,320 Now, most fraternities do the pledging thing a little bit differently than we do. 466 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:05,558 Most pledging consists of hate-filled mental and physical hazing 467 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,079 designed to break you down. 468 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,872 But here at Beta, 469 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:14,154 I, Dwight Stifler, your pledge master, have devised an elaborate scientific plan 470 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,192 to build teamwork and brotherhood. 471 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,719 Gentlemen, I give you your pledge board. 472 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,112 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 473 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,276 On this pledge board are 50 tasks 474 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,358 that you and your pledge brothers must complete by semester's end 475 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,118 if you want to become Betas. 476 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,231 To start things off, 477 00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:38,069 I say we begin with my personal favourite, number 37. 478 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,675 (POP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS) 479 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:48,755 Okay, so here's the low-down. 480 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:54,637 One of you has got to get your ass signed by a stripperwith photo proof. All right? 481 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:56,879 All right, we're gonna go get a drink. 482 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:57,910 - Wesley... - Yeah. 483 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,031 Don't bother us. 484 00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:04,715 Okay, who's gonna try and do this? 485 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,999 Oh, you guys, I got this. Who's got a pen? That'll do. 486 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,990 Hey, baby, how's about signing my ass while I'm up here? 487 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:22,829 (CRASHING) 488 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,271 She got Cooze! We gotta help him! 489 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:27,475 (GRUNTS) 490 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,031 Down goes fatty! 491 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:31,789 (GROWLING) 492 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:33,797 Stripper brawl! 493 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,236 ERIK: Stifler, we need some help! 494 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,279 Oh, cousin got clothes-lined. That's a shame. 495 00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,350 That's gonna leave a big bruise. 496 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,638 (BOBBY GASPING) 497 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,990 Those girls are wild tonight. 498 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,839 I used to fuck girls like you in prison. 499 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:04,396 - Oh, I love a good stripper brawl. - Who doesn't? 500 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:05,475 (CRASHING) 501 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,520 - NICK: You started it! - Way to go, Cooze. 502 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:09,589 - NICK: You started it! - Way to go, Cooze. 503 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,199 What? I didn't do anything. 504 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,232 You charged that stripper with a pen like you were going to shove it in her ass. 505 00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:16,112 COOZE: Maybe if her panties smelled like waffles, 506 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,389 then you would have done something... 507 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:18,669 Shut up. Shut up! 508 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,438 - BOBBY:... some syrup. That idiot? - I bet she would have liked that. 509 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,312 (EXCLAIMS) 510 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:26,353 - Hey there, gorgeous. You work here? - Yeah, sweetie. 511 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,590 You see, we're pledging the Beta House right now, 512 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:32,030 and one of our tasks is to get our ass signed by a... 513 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,674 A professional dancer like yourself. 514 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,349 So I was just, you know, wondering if maybe you'd do me the honour? 515 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,950 That's a different approach than the boys usually take in this place. 516 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,116 - Bend over. - Thanks. 517 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:45,798 My name's Erik Stifler, by the way. 518 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,195 Let me get one for the year book. 519 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:49,799 (BOBBY GIGGLING) 520 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:52,675 BOBBY: Nice smile. 521 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,872 - You have any relation to Dwight Stifler? - He's my cousin. 522 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,673 - Hey, Stifler. - Candy. How are you, sweetheart? 523 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,279 Good to see you. 524 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,834 I can see where he gets his charm from. 525 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,032 - You come see me soon, okay? - You know I will. 526 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,833 DWIGHT: All right, boys. Hey, congratulations. Task 37. 527 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,916 - In the bag! Done! - ALL: Yeah. 528 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,277 ERIK: Good job, boys. That's our first task completed. 529 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,473 I think that stripper's implant broke my face. 530 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:29,469 Everyone, let's go. 531 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,514 (CREAKING) 532 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,151 Sweet Caesar's ghost! 533 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:27,236 (EDGAR EXCLAIMING IN PAIN) 534 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,194 Fifteen, check. 535 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,276 Sixteen, check. 536 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,876 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 537 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:47,673 Hmm. 538 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,836 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 539 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,074 - Who's that guy? - He's my Swahili instructor. 540 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,077 I have my proficiency exam next week. 541 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:00,599 - Nice! - Yeah. 542 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,800 Hey, what's... What's this golden hammer doing in here? 543 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,153 Hey, what's... What's this golden hammer doing in here? 544 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,714 It's from the Greek Olympiad. 545 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:10,150 It was, like, a series of competitions involving skill and deviant behaviour. 546 00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:13,158 They got really out of hand, so the university banned them for life. 547 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,271 The Betas were legendary at them, though. We never lost. 548 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,231 - Cool. Yeah. - Yeah. 549 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,795 Oh, and remember, Erik... 550 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:26,829 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 551 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:28,915 Yeah. 552 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:33,950 Swahili. 553 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,114 ERIK: This place is swell, isn't it? ASHLEY: (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 554 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:39,514 ASHLEY: Look at how juicy. 555 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,192 Sucking the crab? Wow. 556 00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:44,914 - This place is fun. - Yeah. Yeah, this place is awesome. 557 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,996 I thought you'd like it here, you know. 558 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:49,998 I like this mallet. 559 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,274 (BOTH LAUGHING) 560 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,949 - Oh, my God. Are you okay? Here. - ERIK: It's all right. 561 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:58,353 It doesn't really taste that bad. 562 00:29:58,480 --> 00:29:59,390 (MAN CHUCKLING) 563 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,318 Dude, I'm telling you, this chick can't get enough of me. 564 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,158 I did her again last night! 565 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:07,113 Oh, I can't believe that. You're the man! 566 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,639 I think I know that girl. 567 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:10,751 You know, not all frat guys are like those guys. 568 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,155 I know. I guess I just have a jaded opinion. 569 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,111 Really? Why's that? 570 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:16,992 It's just the typical story. 571 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,839 Boy meets girl. Boy goes off to college, joins a frat, 572 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,598 starts sleeping with every girl he can. 573 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,792 Girl finds out and dumps his ass during winter break. 574 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,630 But that was high school. I'm much older and wiser now. 575 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,912 Right, older and wiser. And you're on a date with a guy who's pledging a frat. 576 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,395 I know, and I'm watching you. 577 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,075 - Dine and ditch. - Yeah. 578 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,474 That's, like, one of my favourite plays of... 579 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,749 ERIK: Oh, my God! ASHLEY: Oh, my God! Are you okay? 580 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,239 ASHLEY: Little help here! 581 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,111 You are just the sweetest. 582 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,915 You just bring it out in me, babe. 583 00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,596 - Perfect. - Yeah? 584 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:03,275 (DENISE SIGHING) 585 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,995 - Careful, my feet are real sensitive. - Really? 586 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:17,554 Oh, my. 587 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,355 I love foot massages. 588 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:23,633 (DENISE MOANS) 589 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:26,195 Oh, my! 590 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:38,710 (DENISE MOANS) 591 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:40,273 I can't! 592 00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,079 - I'm sorry. - No, that's cool. 593 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,796 It's totally fine, really. 594 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:59,036 Here, let me just take care of you. 595 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:01,514 Okay. 596 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:02,550 (UNZIPPING PANTS) 597 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:03,635 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 598 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,034 Ooh! 599 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,556 - You like that? - God, yeah. 600 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,230 You do that almost as good as I do. 601 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,272 How're you feeling? 602 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,398 Hey. Good, thanks. 603 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:30,669 - Here, let me see. - Oh, no. 604 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,438 No, no. Ashley, it's... You really don't need to do anything. 605 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,869 Oh, my God, Erik. You have to put something on that. 606 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,797 No, it's just a little red. 607 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:38,839 Here, let me. 608 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:41,828 ERIK: Are you sure? ASHLEY: Yeah. 609 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:43,190 It's not... 610 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,231 (EXCLAIMS) 611 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,434 - Does it hurt? - No, it's just really cold. 612 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,869 - ASHLEY: Does that feel better? - Yeah. 613 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:55,918 Mmm-hmm. 614 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:57,075 Wow! 615 00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:59,998 - Oh, man! - I didn't even touch it. 616 00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:01,989 No, it's no big deal. 617 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,031 I guess I should just take it as a compliment, right? 618 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,720 - I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry. - It's cool. 619 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:10,471 Wow, that cream feels good. 620 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,112 Ash, you might wanna... 621 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:14,389 (WHISPERING) Just relax. 622 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,154 (PANTING) It's still hot. 623 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,435 (EXCLAIMING) 624 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:30,639 (HEART BEATING) 625 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:32,799 (ERIK MOANING) 626 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,915 Oh, my God! Mr Biggles! 627 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,509 - This is really, really embarrassing. - No, it's okay. It's okay. 628 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,757 I just haven't seen anything like that. 629 00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,599 Well, I was a virgin until last year, 630 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:08,998 and then my girlfriend dumped me about four months ago. 631 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:14,068 Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that you haven't... 632 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,792 In four months? 633 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:22,199 Well, you see, there was this incident that made masturbation 634 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:26,238 very taboo in my household. 635 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,111 Well, you have more self-control than most people. 636 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,391 I'm really sorry about Mr Biggles. 637 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:35,435 Yeah. 638 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,111 - Just a little... Right. - No, it's... 639 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:48,035 Oh, baby, I love you. Whoa, baby, why won't you tell me you love me, too? 640 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:52,039 - Hey, Bull. Have you seen Stifler? - He's in a meeting. 641 00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:55,311 - What meeting would he be at? - I don't know. Something important. 642 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,955 And it was after my parents... 643 00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:02,232 Well, they had to fire the fourth landscaping crew 644 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,113 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 645 00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:06,276 Because they caught me with them. 646 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:10,791 And that's when I knew that I had a problem. 647 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:15,991 But I have been sex-free for two years now 648 00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,918 and, you know, never felt better. 649 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,268 (WHOOPING) 650 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,431 You are so brave. 651 00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:33,793 Get it in there! Yeah! Faster! Faster! 652 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:37,390 - (SCREAMING) I'm going as fast as I can. 653 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:37,552 - (CRYING) I think I'm gonna... - It's gonna break! 654 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:38,590 (BOTH SCREAMING) 655 00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:40,233 Yes! Yes! 656 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:41,789 God, yes. 657 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,273 (GIGGLING) 658 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,628 (MOANS CONTENTEDLY) 659 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:46,318 Oh, boy. 660 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:47,919 (WHOOPING) 661 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,439 (SIGHS) 662 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,791 (LAUGHING) 663 00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:56,073 You call yourself a man? 664 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:59,351 Get back here and fuck me! 665 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:01,277 (BOTH LAUGHING) 666 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,915 Okay, okay. All right, listen. I just did three times, okay? 667 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:09,636 I'm gonna go get an icepack and then I'll be right back. 668 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:14,675 You know the secret, icepacks are for pussies! 669 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,232 Oh, your friend. He wants to come play! 670 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,396 I'm going to see you again! 671 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:22,953 (GIGGLING) 672 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:24,877 (GROWLING) 673 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,752 - I'm a grizzly bear! - You're bad. 674 00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:30,156 I'm gonna steal a picnic basket full of orgasms. 675 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:31,156 (GROWLING) 676 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,191 Okay, lay your head back. Lay your head back. 677 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:36,118 (WHISPERING) Ready? Are you ready for it? Let's go, all right? 678 00:36:38,720 --> 00:36:40,438 (FOOTSTEPS PATTERING) 679 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:42,592 Hey, get back here! 680 00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:44,358 (PANTING) 681 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,352 Stifler, I forgot to tell you... 682 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:48,799 BULL: Whoa. 683 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:53,753 - Get your ass over here, punk. - Okay. 684 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,393 (BULL EXCLAIMS) 685 00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:56,919 (BULL SCREAMS) 686 00:36:59,920 --> 00:37:03,151 Oh, dude. On her teddy bear? Really? 687 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,795 Dude, he hasn't busted a nut in, like, four months. 688 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:07,069 What do you think I should do? 689 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:08,918 - Man, you gotta beat the bishop. - Yeah. 690 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:12,510 - You need to punch that clown. A lot. - What are you talking about? 691 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,190 - You need to masturbate, dude. A lot. - ALL: Alot. 692 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,392 So next time you won't blow your load when you're rounding first base. 693 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:20,555 Yeah. 694 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,871 Just gotta clean the pipes. 695 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:47,674 (SIGHS) 696 00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:58,758 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 697 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,396 - Who is it? - Hey, it's Ashley. 698 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,511 We were gonna hang out, remember? . 699 00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,914 Yeah! Yeah, I remember. 700 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:12,350 I... I lost track of time, Ashley. I'll be right there. 701 00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,074 - Are you okay in there? - Yeah. 702 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,670 Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. Just give me one second, okay? 703 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:20,839 Erik, are you naked? 704 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,520 Just putting on my t-shirt right now. 705 00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:25,519 There it is. 706 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:26,870 Whew! 707 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:28,829 - Hi. - Hi. 708 00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:32,032 - Can I come in? - No. No, the place is actually a mess. 709 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,116 - Bobby's disgusting. - Oh, yeah? 710 00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:37,073 - But I know a cool place we can go. - Come on. 711 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:39,155 (DOOR CLOSING) 712 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,195 All right. Right hand, yellow. 713 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:48,990 Ooh. 714 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,712 I love this game. 715 00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,869 Don't you fall or you're losing those boxers. 716 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,911 (LAUGHING) Oh, really? 717 00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,032 (GROANING) 718 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:01,230 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 719 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,079 Ow. 720 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:04,599 - Hi. - Hi. 721 00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:16,311 (SIGHS) 722 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,438 I'm sorry. 723 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:26,519 - What? Are you a virgin or something or... - No. 724 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,036 It's just when I... When I get too excited... 725 00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:34,395 (SIGHING) 726 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,351 Oh, it's embarrassing. 727 00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:42,589 Here. 728 00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,517 - Let me just take care of you again. - Okay. 729 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:52,600 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Cheers, cheers. 730 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,192 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Cheers, cheers. 731 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:56,515 Mmm. 732 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:57,868 (COUGHING) 733 00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,597 Let me get that for you. A little spillage. No big deal. 734 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,512 It's not gonna go off again, is it? 735 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,996 Absolutely not. I've been practicing my self-control a lot. 736 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:15,473 Alot? Okay. 737 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:36,279 (ASHLEY CLEARING THROAT) 738 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:37,515 Come on. 739 00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,473 Oh, just how much have you been working on your self-control? 740 00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:45,232 I'm really sorry. It's not working. 741 00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:46,270 (GIGGLING) 742 00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,437 My stupid friends, they said that if I would... 743 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,074 Erik, it's okay. It happens. 744 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:54,189 Wine? 745 00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,158 (HELICOPTER WHIRRING) 746 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:04,999 All right, boys. We got a live one here. 747 00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,554 Two clicks north, three clicks east. 748 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,791 All right, three clicks east. 749 00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,035 DWIGHT: Let's blast our big giant ones. 750 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:15,752 Fire in the hole! 751 00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:19,555 DWIGHT: Direct hit! 752 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:20,590 (LAUGHING) 753 00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:22,631 - DWIGHT: Yes! - Oh, my God. 754 00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:26,035 (SIGHS) 755 00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,515 I love the smell of boobies in the morning. 756 00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:30,790 Hey, so how's it going with Denise? 757 00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:36,671 Well, okay, so we hooked up and she gave me a couple of hand jobs. 758 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:37,710 (LAUGHING) 759 00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:38,795 Hand jobs? 760 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,434 They're actually the best hand jobs I've ever had in my life. 761 00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,755 - Oh, really? - Shut up! 762 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:48,279 The only problem is I try to stick my hand down her pants, 763 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,436 she keeps... Pulls my hands away. 764 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,039 She says she's embarrassed. 765 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:53,036 Uh-oh. 766 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:57,119 - Maybe she has an abnormally large bush. - Yeah, or maybe she's got a yeast infection. 767 00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:58,150 (EXCLAIMS DISGUSTEDLY) 768 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,669 - Come on. - Maybe she's got a dick. 769 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:01,790 Huh? 770 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,956 What? Crying Game? Boys Don't Cry? 771 00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:06,389 - That's based on true stories, boys. - No. 772 00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:07,555 - Yeah. - No, there's no way. 773 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:09,238 Hey, man, maybe she's a hermaphrodite. 774 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,874 Transvestite? Alittle Shanghai Surprise! 775 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:12,989 Well, come on. You said yourself, 776 00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,793 she gives you the best hand jobs you've ever had in your whole life. Right? 777 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:16,875 Yeah, so? 778 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,116 So, how do you think she got so good at it? 779 00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:21,834 Probably from working her own gear. 780 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,912 So you guys think that I might have been hooking up with a dude this whole time? 781 00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:28,508 Maybe. There's only one way to find out. 782 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:30,949 You gotta get into those pants. 783 00:42:31,720 --> 00:42:34,837 Oh, wait. This is too perfect. Load it up. Load it up, right now. 784 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:39,635 - What the... - DWIGHT: Sorry! 785 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:40,870 (EXCLAIMS) 786 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:42,558 DWIGHT: Yeah! ALL: Yeah! 787 00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:55,632 (SIGHING) 788 00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:57,751 I want you to go down on me, Cooze. 789 00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,235 Are you sure? Because I can wait. 790 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,476 No, I want you down there now. 791 00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:07,677 That's it, Cooze. 792 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:16,992 That's it, Cooze. 793 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:18,789 Suck my cock! 794 00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,114 She's got a dick! 795 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:22,633 Are you okay? 796 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,275 Oh, my God. I just had the worse nightmare. 797 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,632 What was it about? Who's got a dick? 798 00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:32,235 I do. 799 00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,670 (SCREAMING) 800 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:43,108 Oh, my God. 801 00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:45,073 I can't take this anymore. 802 00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:50,920 (PHONE RINGING) 803 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:50,999 (PHONE RINGING) 804 00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:03,475 Hello? 805 00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:05,712 ASHLEY: I thought you were gonna call me. 806 00:44:06,240 --> 00:44:07,593 Oh, hey. 807 00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:09,517 Yeah. I fell asleep. 808 00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:11,075 I'm sorry. 809 00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,076 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 810 00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:13,838 Were you dreaming about me? 811 00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:15,914 Maybe. 812 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,476 Hey, can you hold on for one sec? 813 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,639 Because this 814 00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:25,999 isn't a dream. 815 00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,998 Oh, God. That's not mine. That's Bobby's. 816 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:45,193 That's not mine. 817 00:44:58,680 --> 00:44:59,590 (DOOR OPENING) 818 00:44:59,720 --> 00:45:01,039 (WHOOPING) 819 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,355 Guys. What the hell are you doing? 820 00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:05,471 BOBBY: Number 33, baby. 821 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,478 We got a chance to do number 33, but we gotta go now. 822 00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:10,670 - Half-naked girl here. - Sorry, Ashley. 823 00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:12,756 Dude, the manager just called. He's got an opening. 824 00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,111 - We haven't even rehearsed for that bit yet. - It's our only chance, man. 825 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:18,349 Really? 826 00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:21,758 Ashley, it is Number 33. 827 00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:26,638 Maybe, we could just finish later or something? 828 00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:28,675 It's cool. 829 00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:33,269 I'm coming with you. 830 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:36,991 - We rocked that place. - Yeah! 831 00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:37,996 COOZE: Awesome! 832 00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:39,030 (WHOOPING) 833 00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:42,915 Number 46, sex in the stacks. Chalk it up. 834 00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,714 Number 26, receive a golden shower. 835 00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,149 Number 27, perform a Cleveland steamer. 836 00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:52,713 - Check. - COOZE: Oh, man. 837 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:54,751 Get a panda in the grotto. 838 00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,314 - Thirty, get a blumpkin. - COOZE: Oh, you didn't. 839 00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:00,079 After corned beef. It was disgusting. 840 00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,156 - All right. Yeah. That was pretty good. - BOBBY: Yeah! 841 00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,874 By the power granted to me by the great country of Canada, 842 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,594 I now pronounce you life partners. 843 00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:09,199 (ALL CHEERING) 844 00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,117 Would you like to seal it with a kiss? 845 00:46:11,240 --> 00:46:12,150 - No. - Yes. 846 00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:14,316 Number 41. Make it official. 847 00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:18,235 Because I'm a gentleman. 848 00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:23,113 Wow. You boys are such an inspiration. 849 00:46:25,240 --> 00:46:27,071 I think it's time we do a little mid-semester celebrating. 850 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,395 - What do you think? - Yes. Definitely. 851 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,750 (POP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS) 852 00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:42,112 Stifler, I'm afraid I gotta see everyone's IDs. 853 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,070 Come on, Manny. You're joking, right? 854 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:46,679 I'm afraid not. 855 00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,109 You see, the new ownership of this establishment 856 00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:50,798 doesn't condone underage drinking. 857 00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:54,196 Officers, please escort these minors from the premises. 858 00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:56,479 BOBBY: Can I touch your gun? ERIK: All right, okay. We're going. 859 00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,433 - EDGAR: Bye-bye. - You're fucking with traditions, Edgar. 860 00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:03,348 I'm not just fucking with your traditions, I'm tearing them down. 861 00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:06,313 Take him away. 862 00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,269 You know, you are way too classy, 863 00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:15,234 and have way too nice of a body to be hanging out with a douche bag like that. 864 00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,956 Don't listen to him, honey. Your body isn't that great. 865 00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:20,399 I'll have a gimlet, please. Thank you. 866 00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:23,595 Stifler. 867 00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:25,278 - DWIGHT: What? - Your lawyer's here. 868 00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:26,160 Excellent. Thanks, Marty. Send him in. 869 00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:27,559 Excellent. Thanks, Marty. Send him in. 870 00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:29,838 You have a lawyer? . 871 00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,311 Thanks for coming. I'm glad you got here. 872 00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:37,273 Well, you know me. I'm always down forthe cause. 873 00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:40,155 - Betas for life, baby. - Betas for life. 874 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:41,793 Mr Levenstein? 875 00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:43,433 Hey, Erik. How's your mom and dad? 876 00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:45,357 They're good. They're really good, actually. 877 00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,914 - Well, that's good. - DWIGHT: Hey, guys, this is Noah. 878 00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:50,474 He's a Beta alum. He's our House-counselling consigliere. 879 00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:53,797 This guy has gotten us out of more shit than you can even imagine. 880 00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:56,639 Well you Beta boys do keep me busy, that's for sure. 881 00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:58,876 Now, I've just talked to the district attorney. 882 00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:02,151 He's an old school chum of mine. He's willing to drop all the charges 883 00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:06,068 if you promise never to set foot in the Silver Dollar again. 884 00:48:07,240 --> 00:48:08,878 This is ridiculous. 885 00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:11,432 Where am I gonna have Sunday brunch? 886 00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,357 Oh, look, I know you're upset. 887 00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:15,277 They do have a great omelet bar, that's for sure. 888 00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:18,710 - But you're just gonna have to give it up. - No, we can't. 889 00:48:19,240 --> 00:48:23,233 These geeks... These geeks are messing with the Beta way of life. 890 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,316 MARTY: You want to step inside, Noah? 891 00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,078 - Oh, it's open? - MARTY: Yeah. 892 00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:29,872 Oh, thanks Marty. 893 00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:34,031 If you wanna grab a sandwich, I'll just be a minute. 894 00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:36,679 Look, fellas, 895 00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,670 there is a bigger picture here than the Beta way of life. 896 00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,950 Is that what you thought when you were in the Beta House? 897 00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:46,589 No. 898 00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,309 - No. It wasn't. - So... 899 00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:55,590 So I think something has to be done here. Within the confines of the law, of course. 900 00:48:55,720 --> 00:48:57,312 Of course. Of course. 901 00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:01,039 So what would you do? 902 00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,398 What would I do? 903 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:10,596 I would crush those geeks with every Beta muscle in my body. 904 00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:14,918 But that's just me. 905 00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:18,194 See you boys at homecoming. Say hi to your folks, Erik. 906 00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,038 ERIK: I will. Thank you. 907 00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:31,034 ERIK: (WHISPERING) Come on. 908 00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,315 Freeze, human. 909 00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:52,954 (GROWLING) 910 00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:55,238 (EDGAR EXCLAIMS) 911 00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:03,270 (SPEAKING MOCK-ALIEN LANGUAGE) 912 00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:07,075 Uphold the galactic alliance with my cock. 913 00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:08,599 (GROWLING) 914 00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:11,633 (GIRL SCREAMING) 915 00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:14,792 What the hell is going on in there? 916 00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:18,196 Sounds like a dog with its dick stuck in a vacuum. 917 00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,914 - All right, this way. - I'm a husky ninja. 918 00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:27,995 ERIK: Okay. 919 00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,155 Guys, I really gotta take a dump. 920 00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:36,998 Oh, come on. Not now. 921 00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:39,236 That fast food I ate put me over. 922 00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,158 Oh! I can't wait. 923 00:50:42,720 --> 00:50:46,599 Well, hurry up, then. God, that guy's disgusting. 924 00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,076 Okay. All right. 925 00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:55,073 (AIR HISSING) 926 00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:58,109 (WHISPERING) Okay. 927 00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:06,030 All right. 928 00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:07,959 (ALARM BLARING) 929 00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:11,073 COOZE: Come on. 930 00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:14,995 Ooh! 931 00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:18,351 - Bobby, what are you doing, man? - Upper-decker, baby! 932 00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:20,038 (WHISPERING) Upper-decker, baby. 933 00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:22,558 Oh, my God. 934 00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:23,715 (FLUSHING) 935 00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,593 COOZE: Betas, we are leaving. Go, go, go! 936 00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:33,479 What's happening? 937 00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:43,398 DWIGHT: Well, pledges, 938 00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:47,190 you completed every task on the task board in record time. 939 00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:53,955 I, along with every other Beta in this room, are proud to call you our brothers. 940 00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,589 Congratulations, you're all Betas! 941 00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:58,549 COOZE: Oh, yeah. 942 00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:00,354 (CHEERING) 943 00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:02,873 DWIGHT: Hey, cuz. 944 00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:04,235 (WHOOPING) 945 00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,590 - BOBBY: Yeah. - DWIGHT: Here you go, cuz. 946 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,831 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 947 00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:17,590 So it sounds like you got yourself a pretty good girl there, buddy. 948 00:52:17,720 --> 00:52:19,870 Oh, yeah. You know what? Now that pledge is finally over, 949 00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:21,752 we can spend a lot more time together, too. 950 00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:26,310 What? Are you kidding me? 951 00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:29,910 Edgar, get you and the Mensa rejects out of my house, now. 952 00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:34,393 (EDGAR WHIMPERS) 953 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,912 You have crossed me for the last time, Stifler! 954 00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:43,753 We're gonna settle this once and for all! 955 00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,199 Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey! 956 00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:48,469 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 957 00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:50,795 Oh! What the fuck? 958 00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:56,757 (SCREAMING) 959 00:52:56,880 --> 00:53:00,714 We, the members of the Geek House, challenge you, the Beta House, 960 00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:02,558 to the Greek Olympiad. 961 00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:03,874 DWIGHT: The Greek Olympiad? 962 00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,070 As much as I'd love to kick your Geek ass up and down the field, Ed, 963 00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:09,431 I hate to tell you, the Greek Olympiad's been banned for like 40 years. So... 964 00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:11,029 (EDGAR LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) 965 00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:15,676 What's the matter? . Afraid to get into a little trouble, Stifler? . 966 00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:17,274 Afraid? 967 00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:20,955 - Let's do this. - Oh, but there is one catch. 968 00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:23,036 We are playing for charters. 969 00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:27,639 If we win, you give up your charter and you move out of the Beta House. 970 00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:29,958 And if you win, 971 00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:33,149 we move out and you take our house. 972 00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:35,512 This place against your mansion? 973 00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:38,712 Consider it another tradition I plan to tear down. 974 00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:41,634 You're on. 975 00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:45,791 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 976 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:47,399 Are you out of your mind? 977 00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:50,796 The Greek Olympiad has been banned for life. 978 00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:52,672 You'll all get thrown off campus. 979 00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:57,669 - That's a chance we're gonna have to take. - Oh, but the Greek Olympiad is crazy. 980 00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:02,476 I mean, yes, it's a combination of skill, endurance, athleticism granted, 981 00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:04,636 but there is a degree of perversion in these games 982 00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:07,957 which I don't think would serve you kids well. 983 00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:09,957 Do you happen to remember the name of the last captain 984 00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:11,593 to ever win the Greek Olympiad? 985 00:54:11,720 --> 00:54:13,711 Well, I haven't the foggiest because it was so long ago. 986 00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:16,479 His name was Noah Levenstein. 987 00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:19,599 Uh-huh. 988 00:54:19,720 --> 00:54:21,915 Well, I knew that would catch up to me one day. 989 00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:24,838 But, you know, fellas, I didn't know what was going on back then. 990 00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:26,234 I was just a dumb kid. 991 00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:28,191 Mr Levenstein, we need you. 992 00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:31,790 Tradition states that the last team captain to win 993 00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:33,558 comes back to officiate. 994 00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:35,318 I know it's tradition. 995 00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:39,432 I... I suppose I could do it. 996 00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,676 I'd have to call in and take a few personal days. 997 00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:44,268 Excellent. You will not regret this. I promise you. 998 00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:46,994 - Stifler! This just came for you, man. - DWIGHT: What is it? 999 00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:53,398 This is interesting. 1000 00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:55,395 (ECHOING) Hello! 1001 00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:00,828 I'm here. What's this big bombshell? 1002 00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:10,198 Are you sure you weren't followed? 1003 00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:12,880 You? What the hell are you doing here? 1004 00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:18,670 - Well, well, Stifler. - Rock. 1005 00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:20,119 Looks like we meet again. 1006 00:55:20,240 --> 00:55:24,711 - All right, this is a set-up. I'm out of here. - Just relax, ass clown. 1007 00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,638 The enemy of my enemy is my friend. 1008 00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:30,513 What we had was a rivalry, 1009 00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:33,393 but what Edgar did got us kicked off campus. 1010 00:55:34,720 --> 00:55:36,438 Wait, how do you even know the guy? 1011 00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:37,913 (ROCK SIGHING) 1012 00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:41,032 He tried to pledge our house three years ago. 1013 00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:44,436 He was the first regular sized guy to rush the little person frat. 1014 00:55:45,240 --> 00:55:48,391 ROCK: They used to have this tradition where we put a sheep in the basement... 1015 00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:49,396 Be gentle. 1016 00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:50,873 ROCK: They'd tell us we had to bang the sheep 1017 00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:54,390 and that we couldn't come out until the rubber was used. 1018 00:55:54,520 --> 00:55:56,192 Now, one of two things happened. 1019 00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:57,514 (BOY SCREAMING) 1020 00:55:57,640 --> 00:55:59,232 Either they would come out crying, 1021 00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:00,270 (CRYING) 1022 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:04,154 Orthey would beat off in the rubber and say they did the sheep. 1023 00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:08,870 And then there was Edgar. 1024 00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:11,954 Good luck. 1025 00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:13,912 (GROANING) 1026 00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:16,758 (SHEEP BLEATING) 1027 00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:21,077 We gotta check it out. 1028 00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:22,679 (EDGAR PANTING) 1029 00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:27,919 (SCREAMS) 1030 00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:30,190 For the love of God, man! 1031 00:56:31,240 --> 00:56:34,710 That sick bastard fucked the sheep. 1032 00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:38,398 That's a great story but I'm a little unclear on how it helps me? 1033 00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:39,430 (ROCK SIGHING) 1034 00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:41,915 I'm sure you'll figure something out, Shitler. 1035 00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:48,993 (CHEERING) 1036 00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:53,079 (WHISTLING) 1037 00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:02,394 Welcome to the Greek Olympiad! 1038 00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:13,192 Competing today in this ancient tradition 1039 00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:15,117 are the Beta House... 1040 00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:18,878 - Beta! Beta! - ALL: Beta! Beta! 1041 00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:20,718 And the Geek House. 1042 00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:28,077 Now, when we think of the term Greek Olympiad, 1043 00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:31,875 we hearken back to ancient traditions. 1044 00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:36,629 We conjure up images of mighty warriors 1045 00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:40,595 in their little skirts, getting all oiled up, 1046 00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:43,438 writhing around with each other. 1047 00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:48,509 Some called it wrestling, others called it something else. 1048 00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:53,756 But enough history. On with the games. 1049 00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:04,391 The first event is called The Release of Venus. 1050 00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:09,471 The man who undoes all the brassieres on his side the quickest, wins. 1051 00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:11,479 You know, Ed, 1052 00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:15,356 it's really a shame all that practice on your sister's training bra is not gonna pay off. 1053 00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:18,995 Please, Dwight. I spent a season in Milan dating lingerie models. 1054 00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:21,031 It was before I met you. 1055 00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:22,798 (FANFARE PLAYING) 1056 00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:25,115 Gentlemen, are we ready? 1057 00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,879 Decline and fall, Dwight. Decline and fall. 1058 00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:31,272 Start unsnapping. 1059 00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:49,673 You know, I still hold the record in this event. 1060 00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:50,869 Hands of a surgeon. 1061 00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:57,911 - ERIK: Oh, what's up with Edgar? - Chick's got double Ds. 1062 00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:00,873 Squad clasps are really difficult to deal with. 1063 00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:04,191 (EXCLAIMS ANGRILY) 1064 00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:07,115 Done. 1065 00:59:07,240 --> 00:59:08,195 Done! 1066 00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:09,309 (SCREAMS ANGRILY) 1067 00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:10,475 I knew it! 1068 00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:11,999 Betas win. 1069 00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:16,993 DWIGHT: Yeah! COOZE: Yeah! 1070 00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:19,753 Hey, nice try, Edgar. 1071 00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:23,677 Oh, sorry, sweetheart. I guess I was just in the zone. 1072 00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:26,759 You know, with a little more to work with, I might have won. 1073 00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:30,755 The next event is The Battle of Ares. 1074 00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:35,554 Two men fighting to the death, 1075 00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,831 or until one knocks the other into the water. 1076 00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:43,632 MAN: Yeah! Ride that! 1077 00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:47,391 You guys are so done, Edgar. Bull is an animal with this thing. 1078 00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:49,954 Why don't you just save some face, give me the deed to your place now. 1079 00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:51,718 Not quite yet. 1080 00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:51,960 You haven't met our new initiate, have you? 1081 00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:54,679 You haven't met our new initiate, have you? 1082 01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:04,678 His name is Dave Maul, 1083 01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:07,109 and he is the number-one rated light saberfighter 1084 01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:09,151 on the science fiction convention tour. 1085 01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:10,793 Oh, he's a virgin. 1086 01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:12,353 LEVENSTEIN: Are you ready, boys? 1087 01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:14,468 Joust! 1088 01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:15,999 (ALL CHEERING) 1089 01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:33,474 Oh, shit! 1090 01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:41,397 MAN: Take him! Take him! 1091 01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:44,193 Finish him. 1092 01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:47,235 Go! Come on! 1093 01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:50,439 (EXCLAIMING) 1094 01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:51,879 (CHEERING) 1095 01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,996 - Geeks win! - I need a beer. 1096 01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:59,711 The next event is called Demeter's Feast. 1097 01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:03,071 Now, in ancient Rome, the pig was considered sacred. 1098 01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:06,909 And often sacrificed to the goddess of agriculture. 1099 01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:10,472 Today, we've taken a pig, greased it up, 1100 01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:13,558 and the first one who catches it, wins. 1101 01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:14,908 (GRUNTING) 1102 01:01:15,040 --> 01:01:16,632 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 1103 01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:19,518 Hey, you sure you're up for this pigging? 1104 01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:22,438 Stifler, I grew up on a farm with 652 pigs, 1105 01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:25,628 (WHISPERING) I can tell what the pig is thinking. 1106 01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:27,833 (SQUEALING) 1107 01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:34,678 (ALL EXCLAIM) 1108 01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:36,153 Silly, little, fat man. 1109 01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:38,999 Hey, Edgar, what's the deal with Captain Sulu? He afraid to compete? 1110 01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:41,156 You haven't heard of parkour, have you? 1111 01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:42,872 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 1112 01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:48,190 What the... 1113 01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:49,230 (BOBBY EXCLAIMS ANGRILY) 1114 01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:50,713 DWIGHT: Go! Go! Go! Go! 1115 01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:56,753 (ALL CHEERING) 1116 01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:13,110 Damn. 1117 01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:29,035 (WHISPERING) Come here, pork chop. 1118 01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:30,949 Geeks! 1119 01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:55,479 (ALL CHEERING) 1120 01:02:58,080 --> 01:02:59,513 (PIG SQUEALING) 1121 01:03:00,520 --> 01:03:01,839 LEVENSTEIN: Geeks win! 1122 01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:05,998 (HELICOPTER WHIRRING) 1123 01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:08,194 Shut up. 1124 01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:13,394 Greek Roulette is a very dangerous game. Not for the faint of heart. 1125 01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:17,838 One of these chambers contains a capsule 1126 01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:21,509 with aged horse semen. 1127 01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:23,676 (EXCLAIMING DISGUSTEDLY) 1128 01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:26,473 Gentlemen, let us begin. 1129 01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:28,556 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 1130 01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:41,236 (EXCLAIMING DISGUSTEDLY) 1131 01:03:42,120 --> 01:03:43,439 MAN 1: Disgusting. MAN 2: Oh, come on. 1132 01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:50,118 MAN: Come on, come on! WOMAN: Come on, Dwight! 1133 01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:54,234 MAN: You're busted. Come on. 1134 01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:56,237 - It's gonna be... - MAN: We're not in it. Come on! 1135 01:03:58,200 --> 01:03:59,235 You know, I gotta hand it to you, Edgar. 1136 01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:01,078 I really didn't think you'd have the huevos for this. 1137 01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:03,276 I thought you'd probably recruit one of your lackeys. 1138 01:04:03,400 --> 01:04:07,598 I wouldn't miss watching you shoot yourself full of horse semen for anything. 1139 01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:10,475 MAN: Come on, man. 1140 01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:12,318 Come on, Stifler! 1141 01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:16,750 (GUN CLICKS) 1142 01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:18,518 MAN 1: Yeah! MAN 2: Yes! 1143 01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:22,033 - We can do this! Yes, yes! - MAN: Come on! 1144 01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:25,548 MAN: That's how we do. 1145 01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:26,908 MAN: Oh, boy! 1146 01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:29,470 - Come on! Come on! - MAN: Edgar! 1147 01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:33,398 Come on, baby. Eat it! 1148 01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:37,389 (EDGAR) 1149 01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:38,839 (GUN CLICKS) 1150 01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:41,874 Yeah! 1151 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:44,514 - Put two canisters in there! - Two? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Two? 1152 01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:46,392 That's too many, Dwight. Come on, two? He's not worth it. 1153 01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:50,229 Unless Edgar's afraid, put in two canisters. 1154 01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:51,952 Fine! Put in two! 1155 01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:55,119 Put in two. 1156 01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:00,749 Go! 1157 01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:02,035 MAN: Go! 1158 01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:05,231 - MAN: Be a man, huh? - Ready. Go! 1159 01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:08,756 MAN 1: Warm it up. MAN 2: Hey! Hey! Hey! 1160 01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:12,477 All right, all right! All right! 1161 01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:15,194 - All right! - Everyone quiet! 1162 01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:17,390 MAN: We're good? Back to the match. 1163 01:05:17,520 --> 01:05:18,669 MAN: You're good baby. There's nothing in there. 1164 01:05:18,800 --> 01:05:19,869 MAN: Oh, no. I can't watch this. 1165 01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:22,514 (DWIGHT SCREAMING) 1166 01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:23,629 (GUN CLICKS) 1167 01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:25,398 Yeah! Yeah! 1168 01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:27,988 - Yeah! Yes! - ALL: Yeah! 1169 01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:31,351 - Yes! Yes! - MAN: All right! Yes! Yes! 1170 01:05:31,480 --> 01:05:32,959 You're up. 1171 01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:35,189 Come on! 1172 01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:36,793 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 1173 01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:38,717 - Do it. - Let's go. 1174 01:05:38,840 --> 01:05:41,513 MAN: Do it! DWIGHT: Do it! Do it! 1175 01:05:41,640 --> 01:05:44,029 - Do it! - MAN: Do it, now! Pull the fucking trigger. 1176 01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:48,278 - Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! - MAN: Pull the trigger. 1177 01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:53,115 Oh. 1178 01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:58,038 Yes! We won! Sucker! 1179 01:05:58,680 --> 01:06:00,113 Betas win. 1180 01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:03,198 - Enjoy Mister Ed's jizz. - How does that semen taste, there? 1181 01:06:06,240 --> 01:06:08,549 Tough loss, there, Edgar, but you know what they say, son. 1182 01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:11,353 You've got to get right back up on that horse. 1183 01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:12,435 So to speak. 1184 01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:13,959 (EDGAR CRYING) 1185 01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:16,432 (FANFARE PLAYING) 1186 01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:21,639 The ancient game of the Wife Carry has been around for centuries. 1187 01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:25,591 The first couple to complete the course wins. 1188 01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:28,910 - You owe me big time for this. - I know. 1189 01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:32,711 - Okay. - MAN: All right. Ready? 1190 01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:40,038 (SCOFFS) How pathetic. Now! 1191 01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:44,715 What? What... 1192 01:06:44,840 --> 01:06:46,512 Really? You trying to give Bandhu a hernia? 1193 01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:49,598 Oh, once again your pathetic little brain has let you down, Dwight. 1194 01:06:49,720 --> 01:06:51,073 Bandhu, up. 1195 01:06:55,600 --> 01:06:58,194 All right, Erik. We got this. Let's go. 1196 01:06:58,720 --> 01:07:00,233 We're fucked. 1197 01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:02,238 (STARTING PISTOL FIRES) 1198 01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:04,555 Come on, Erik! Go, go, go! 1199 01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:06,272 We can beat those Betas. 1200 01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:10,394 How'd you feel about that... 1201 01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:19,068 Come on! Come on! 1202 01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:32,195 Maybe I should have carried you. 1203 01:07:33,760 --> 01:07:36,035 Man, that is one scary chick. 1204 01:07:36,440 --> 01:07:37,475 That's a chick? 1205 01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:38,630 MAN: Okay. 1206 01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:43,753 And now, the Peloponnesian War. 1207 01:07:43,880 --> 01:07:47,080 The first team to consume an entire keg wins. 1208 01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:47,114 The first team to consume an entire keg wins. 1209 01:07:47,240 --> 01:07:49,037 Throwing up does not disqualify. 1210 01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:52,550 Gentlemen, inside this cylindrical casing of aluminium, 1211 01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:55,717 lies 55 metric litres of malted alcohol. 1212 01:07:56,320 --> 01:07:58,470 Remember, fellas, don't underestimate these Geeks. 1213 01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:00,556 Most of them are lonely problem drinkers, all right? 1214 01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:03,433 Beware, gentlemen, these men know how to drink, 1215 01:08:03,960 --> 01:08:05,712 but we are more than men. 1216 01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:07,592 We are more than men! 1217 01:08:07,720 --> 01:08:10,154 We, sirs, are Geeks! 1218 01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:12,396 - EDGAR: Yes! - All right, boys. Battle! 1219 01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:17,437 - Gentlemen, chug-a-lug! - I can out-drink you fucks! 1220 01:08:20,440 --> 01:08:21,634 EDGAR: Drink! 1221 01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:29,313 Edgar! 1222 01:08:31,240 --> 01:08:32,798 I only have one thing to say to you. 1223 01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:34,876 What's that, you philistine? 1224 01:08:42,920 --> 01:08:45,434 Puking doesn't disqualify! 1225 01:08:46,440 --> 01:08:49,318 - Geeks, attack! - DWIGHT: Boot and rally, boys! 1226 01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:58,792 Come on, Edgar. Let's see what you got, bitch. 1227 01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:03,793 That's all you got, huh? That's all you got? 1228 01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:14,156 Go back to the keg! 1229 01:09:14,280 --> 01:09:16,157 We got a man down! 1230 01:09:16,280 --> 01:09:19,113 Gentlemen, we need to attain maximum efficiency. 1231 01:09:19,480 --> 01:09:21,835 Attach the device! 1232 01:09:26,480 --> 01:09:28,550 - What the hell is that? - What is that thing? 1233 01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:30,113 Open valves. 1234 01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:31,673 (WHOOSHING) 1235 01:09:31,800 --> 01:09:36,351 That's the Geeks taking the lead. It's time for our secret weapon. Wesley! 1236 01:09:37,280 --> 01:09:39,555 - MAN: Let's go! - Wesley, keg stand! 1237 01:09:45,400 --> 01:09:49,279 Open the valves all the way. We need warp speed on this, motherfucker! 1238 01:09:49,400 --> 01:09:50,958 (ALL SCREAMING) 1239 01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:53,910 - Yeah! - Yeah! Yeah! 1240 01:09:54,040 --> 01:09:55,393 Betas win! 1241 01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:56,999 (ALL CHEERING) 1242 01:10:03,160 --> 01:10:07,073 With the Greek Olympiad tied, we now go into sudden death. 1243 01:10:12,760 --> 01:10:16,799 The final event is called The Rise of Aphrodite. 1244 01:10:17,560 --> 01:10:20,074 Quite simply, the first man 1245 01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:26,475 who excretes his manly juices, 1246 01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:30,479 in the ejaculatory sense, 1247 01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:32,869 loses. 1248 01:10:34,400 --> 01:10:35,913 (ALL CHEERING) 1249 01:10:41,280 --> 01:10:43,430 I cannot wait to see you come in your pants. 1250 01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:44,949 Let's do this. 1251 01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:58,270 Pi is equal to 3. 1415... 1252 01:10:58,400 --> 01:11:00,311 - No big deal at all. - 5978... 1253 01:11:00,440 --> 01:11:02,795 I feel like Santa Claus at the local shopping mall. 1254 01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:06,790 (PANTING) 1255 01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:08,592 - That was nothing. I'm okay. - That was nothing for me, either. 1256 01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:09,675 No big deal. 1257 01:11:09,800 --> 01:11:11,313 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 1258 01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:13,512 MAN: Shake that thing. 1259 01:11:22,420 --> 01:11:24,775 - I like your boobs. - BOBBY: Look at this. 1260 01:11:24,900 --> 01:11:27,494 Pretend you're sucking my man breast! 1261 01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:29,391 Give it up, Stifler. This is a game of mind over matter. 1262 01:11:29,520 --> 01:11:31,795 And my brain is way biggerthan yours. 1263 01:11:31,920 --> 01:11:33,319 I've got experience on my side. 1264 01:11:33,440 --> 01:11:36,955 I'll take that over yourVulcan mind tricks any day. 1265 01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:39,435 We shall see. Bring her in! 1266 01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:42,676 We flew this young lady in from Las Vegas. 1267 01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:45,553 She's the number one stripper in the Emerald City. 1268 01:11:45,680 --> 01:11:47,079 Enjoy, Dwight. 1269 01:11:50,160 --> 01:11:51,275 Oh, no! 1270 01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:53,999 Good luck. 1271 01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:00,156 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 1272 01:12:00,280 --> 01:12:02,589 I'm in trouble here, boys. 1273 01:12:02,720 --> 01:12:05,280 This chick is ridiculous. Bring her in! 1274 01:12:05,400 --> 01:12:07,630 Oh, God! Oh, God! 1275 01:12:11,080 --> 01:12:12,433 (BLEATING) 1276 01:12:15,520 --> 01:12:16,475 (BLEATING) 1277 01:12:16,600 --> 01:12:18,079 What the fuck? 1278 01:12:19,200 --> 01:12:20,679 (MOANING) 1279 01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,955 Look at my tail, Edgar. 1280 01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:25,911 Look how fluffy it is. 1281 01:12:27,520 --> 01:12:29,112 Somebody make her stop. 1282 01:12:29,240 --> 01:12:31,515 Edgar, you got a little wool fetish, buddy? 1283 01:12:31,640 --> 01:12:34,871 No! Make her stop! 1284 01:12:36,320 --> 01:12:37,878 (MARGIE BLEATING) 1285 01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:39,628 (CRYING) 1286 01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:43,034 He's done. 1287 01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:52,194 Betas win. 1288 01:12:55,600 --> 01:13:00,469 ALL: Beta! Beta! Beta! Beta! Beta! Beta! 1289 01:13:09,640 --> 01:13:14,395 To the winners, I now present the Golden Hammer! 1290 01:13:14,960 --> 01:13:16,552 To Beta House! 1291 01:13:16,680 --> 01:13:18,079 (ALL CHEERING) 1292 01:13:18,200 --> 01:13:19,349 Beta, baby! 1293 01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:22,995 Congratulations, Stifler. You've kept the Beta traditions alive. 1294 01:13:23,120 --> 01:13:26,192 - Thanks, Noah. Betas for life. - Betas for life. 1295 01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:36,751 Now this is a frat party. 1296 01:13:36,880 --> 01:13:39,189 No. This is a Beta party. 1297 01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:42,955 (RAPPING) 1298 01:14:00,680 --> 01:14:04,036 - Hey, I got a little surprise for you. - Yeah? 1299 01:14:06,320 --> 01:14:09,437 A little present for you being so patient and understanding. 1300 01:14:09,960 --> 01:14:11,075 Okay. 1301 01:14:11,640 --> 01:14:14,996 - Are you ready for your present? - (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) I'm not sure. 1302 01:14:15,840 --> 01:14:19,833 I'm really confused right now, and I'm trying to keep an open mind but... 1303 01:14:19,960 --> 01:14:23,589 Oh, man this is fucked up even for me. 1304 01:14:23,720 --> 01:14:25,278 DENISE: Here it comes. 1305 01:14:25,440 --> 01:14:28,318 Oh, my God. If it's biggerthan mine, I swear, I'm gonna pass out. 1306 01:14:28,440 --> 01:14:30,556 (GIGGLING) I'm not wearing any panties. 1307 01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:34,560 Easy, Cooze. Everybody can see you. 1308 01:14:34,680 --> 01:14:37,558 Well, I'm sure we can find some place around here with a little privacy. 1309 01:14:37,680 --> 01:14:39,511 - Okay. - Let's go. 1310 01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:41,910 Come on. 1311 01:14:45,320 --> 01:14:48,995 - Where are you taking me? - It's a surprise. You're gonna like it. 1312 01:14:58,920 --> 01:15:00,239 I'm nervous. 1313 01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:04,031 What are you talking about? Everything's gonna be fine. 1314 01:15:04,160 --> 01:15:05,878 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 1315 01:15:12,680 --> 01:15:16,309 Why don't I take care of you. 1316 01:15:18,840 --> 01:15:20,159 Okay. 1317 01:15:21,360 --> 01:15:22,509 Okay. 1318 01:15:33,880 --> 01:15:35,029 Oh, my. 1319 01:15:36,840 --> 01:15:38,068 (PANTING) 1320 01:15:38,200 --> 01:15:40,430 I can't! I can't! 1321 01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:42,073 Look, just let yourself go, baby. 1322 01:15:42,200 --> 01:15:45,112 There's nothing you can do that's gonna surprise me. Okay? 1323 01:15:45,240 --> 01:15:46,832 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 1324 01:15:47,640 --> 01:15:48,755 Okay! 1325 01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:52,439 (BOTH GIGGLING) 1326 01:15:52,560 --> 01:15:54,198 Why are you bringing me in here? 1327 01:15:54,320 --> 01:15:56,311 Well, this being our new house, 1328 01:15:56,440 --> 01:15:59,955 I thought I'd come up with my own task forthe pledge board. 1329 01:16:00,200 --> 01:16:02,509 Okay. What's that gonna be? 1330 01:16:02,640 --> 01:16:03,675 (ERIK CLEARING THROAT) 1331 01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:06,155 Well, I think it's kind of better if I... 1332 01:16:06,280 --> 01:16:07,793 If I show you. 1333 01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:14,155 ASHLEY: Hmm. 1334 01:16:14,280 --> 01:16:16,271 Sex in a movie theatre. 1335 01:16:16,400 --> 01:16:18,994 I like the way you think, Erik Stifler. 1336 01:16:26,160 --> 01:16:27,718 (MOANING) 1337 01:16:31,400 --> 01:16:33,152 (MOANING LOUDER) 1338 01:16:34,440 --> 01:16:36,908 I'm coming! I'm coming! 1339 01:16:37,040 --> 01:16:38,598 I'm coming! 1340 01:16:39,080 --> 01:16:40,399 (SPLASHING) 1341 01:16:40,520 --> 01:16:41,669 Oh, my... 1342 01:16:45,320 --> 01:16:47,675 Okay. I was a little surprised by that. 1343 01:16:47,800 --> 01:16:49,074 I'm sorry. 1344 01:16:49,800 --> 01:16:51,199 It's okay. 1345 01:16:53,800 --> 01:16:56,951 - It was actually really sexy. - Really? 1346 01:16:57,080 --> 01:16:59,389 Yeah. Can you do that every time? 1347 01:17:00,440 --> 01:17:02,749 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah? 1348 01:17:02,880 --> 01:17:04,154 Oh, my God. 1349 01:17:14,440 --> 01:17:17,193 - Hey, buddy, take a little dip in the pool? - Nope. 1350 01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:18,992 Oh, wait a minute. 1351 01:17:21,080 --> 01:17:24,231 Yes. The elusive female ejaculation. 1352 01:17:24,680 --> 01:17:26,636 Not a lot of girls can do that. Congrats. 1353 01:17:26,760 --> 01:17:28,159 (SINGING) 1354 01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:48,799 (BULL LAUGHING) 1355 01:17:48,920 --> 01:17:50,876 Beta House fucking rules! 1356 01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:52,228 (CHEERING) 1357 01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:48,355 (LAUGHING) 1358 01:18:48,480 --> 01:18:49,674 Yes! 1359 01:18:51,640 --> 01:18:52,959 (TOILET FLUSHING) 1360 01:18:58,520 --> 01:18:59,999 Hey, big boy, 1361 01:19:00,760 --> 01:19:03,558 ready to fill me up with some more protein? 1362 01:19:04,880 --> 01:19:07,314 No, no, no. No! 1363 01:19:11,640 --> 01:19:14,313 Yes, the Blackout Menace strikes again. 1364 01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:04,995 (POP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS) 1365 01:24:12,400 --> 01:24:14,755 Wear this for your next dance, honey. 1366 01:24:14,880 --> 01:24:15,995 Thanks. 1367 01:24:15,996 --> 01:24:35,996 American Pie 6 Beta House.[2007].RETAIL.DVDRIP.XVID.[Eng]-DUQA 100974

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