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1
00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,314
HARRY: Man, will you look at all the hot tail
running around this place?
2
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,351
Look, look. Oh, God.
3
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:05,950
Dad, listen, could you just... Please,
please don't embarrass me today, okay?
4
00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:07,513
- Embarrass you?
- Not today.
5
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,517
Son, you spent the entire summer depressed
6
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,200
because your girlfriend ran off
with that pretty boy, Trent.
7
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,073
Now, you gotta get out there
and crush some ass!
8
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,519
It's the only way to get your mind off her.
9
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,200
- Yes. Yes, that is what I'm talking about.
- Yes, huh?
10
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,311
"Crush some ass"? Oh, come on.
11
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,393
Wait, wait, wait.
12
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,954
- I'll show you how it's done.
- Oh, no. No, no, no.
13
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,798
- HARRY: Watch this. Just watch and learn.
- Just please drive.
14
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,832
HARRY: Excuse me, ladies? Hi. Hi.
15
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,155
- This is my son, Erik.
- Hi.
16
00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,993
(CLEARING THROAT)
And he's moving in today,
17
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:41,238
and we were just wondering
if maybe either of you were interested
18
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:42,952
in showing him a good time?
19
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,839
No, thanks.
20
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,038
COOZE: (LAUGHING) Oh!
21
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:48,309
HARRY: I'm sorry.
22
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,398
- He's a stallion, just like his old man!
- No, Dad, come on!
23
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,430
(HARRY NEIGHING)
24
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:53,470
Well, I tried, Erik.
25
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,238
Yeah, thanks.
Now I'm gonna have to transfer.
26
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:00,635
- Son, son?
- Yeah.
27
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:01,954
I want to show you something.
28
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,436
That is the list of all the chicks
I ever banged.
29
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,035
Are you serious?
30
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,435
- Is that two-sided? It is! Nice!
- It is!
31
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,757
Yeah. It's a good goal for you to try
to keep up with your old man.
32
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,028
Hey, Dad, why isn't Mom's name
the last name on the list there?
33
00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:18,070
Uh...
34
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:22,352
We didn't tell you, but when you were three,
we had a trial separation for a week.
35
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:23,674
Trial...
36
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,073
Dad, there's like... Well,
there's 10 names here for that week alone.
37
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,794
Yeah, I went on kind of
a poon-tang bender, there.
38
00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:30,955
Is that my mom's name?
39
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,640
Yeah, you know, on second thought,
I'll just kind of hang on to that.
40
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,320
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
Come on, guys. Let's get loaded here!
41
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,791
- I'm sorry.
- Cooze, grab a box.
42
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,273
- Did you have sex with his mom?
- Yeah.
43
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,435
How was it?
44
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:43,675
(EXCLAIMS DISGUSTEDLY)
45
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,955
Wow! This place is amazing.
46
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:55,915
Hi.
47
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,873
God, there are girls everywhere.
48
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:01,634
This is my room.
49
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,830
It still kind of sucks
that we're not gonna be rooming together.
50
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,030
Dude, whatever.
You're gonna be right down the hall.
51
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,832
Besides, I got a single.
52
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,678
- Hold on to this. I'm gonna find a bathroom.
- All right.
53
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,438
I'll be right back.
54
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,357
Hi, how you doing?
Mike Coozeman. Glad to meet you.
55
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,032
(UNZIPPING PANTS)
56
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,756
Wow. This is gonna
take some getting used to.
57
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:24,869
(ERIK CHUCKLES)
58
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,754
Yeah, isn't this the guy's bathroom?
59
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,713
No, it's coed. All the dorms are like this.
60
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,278
Cool, coed, yeah.
61
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,277
Don't worry. I won't peek.
62
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,358
Yeah, I won't peek... I won't peek, either.
63
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,199
- ASHLEY: I'm Ashley, what's your name?
- I'm Erik.
64
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,591
- ASHLEY: Well, it's nice to meet you, Erik.
- It's nice to meet you, too.
65
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:47,789
(SHOWER RUNNING)
66
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,833
Hey, do you think you could pass me
my shampoo? It's just right there.
67
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,915
- Yeah. Just give me a minute here, okay?
- Thanks.
68
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,159
ASHLEY: Erik?
69
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,871
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
70
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,115
ASHLEY: Erik?
71
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,152
Alittle help here?
72
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,359
(SIGHS)
73
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,357
(GROANS)
74
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,758
BOBBY: Ride the white whale, baby!
75
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,029
Ride the white whale.
76
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,230
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, my God. Oh, man. I'm sorry.
77
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:32,270
I'm sorry, the doorwas...
78
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,753
- Hey, you must be Erik.
- I am.
79
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:34,949
- I'm Bobby.
- Hi.
80
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,354
- BOBBY: Hey.
- Hey, hey.
81
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,232
- Come on in, man.
- ERIK: No, no, no. It's...
82
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,158
- You guys are busy. I can come back later.
- Okay, listen. This is your place, too,
83
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,589
and don't worry about Margie.
She's not exactly shy.
84
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,119
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) No, she's not.
85
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:48,550
- Sit down. You want a beer? .
- No.
86
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,477
- You sure?
- ERIK: Yeah.
87
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,433
Are you hungry?
Margie cooked up some mean bratwurst.
88
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:54,629
(BED CREAKING)
89
00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:57,320
- No, I just had a sandwich. Thanks.
- BOBBY: All right.
90
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,351
- Where're you from?
- East Great Falls.
91
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:00,959
(GROANING) East Great Falls.
92
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,756
Slow down, sassy pants.
93
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,155
All right, baby?
I'm trying to have a conversation.
94
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,349
Yeah.
95
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:14,317
- College! Yeah! Best years of our lives!
- Yeah.
96
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,839
Put it up.
97
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,876
BOBBY: Oh, high...
ERIK: High-five.
98
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,155
(MARGIE MOANING)
99
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,429
You wanna jump in on this?
100
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,755
- Come on. Margie loves it.
- No, no, no. Margie, no, no.
101
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,632
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, I'm good.
102
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,638
Look, it was very nice to meet you,
Bobby and Margie.
103
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:30,637
Actually, I just came
to change my pants here.
104
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:34,594
I spilled a drink on it earlier,
so I'm just gonna let you guys... Yeah.
105
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:35,596
(COUGHING)
106
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,153
Are you role-playing again?
107
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:41,068
Say the safe word, baby. Say the safe...
Baby? Are you choking?
108
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,952
- Dude, I think she's choking!
- What?
109
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,354
BOBBY: I think she's choking.
You gotta do something.
110
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,390
- Do something.
- BOBBY: I can't do anything!
111
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,112
I'm tied up and basted
like a Thanksgiving turkey.
112
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:50,357
ERIK: All right, all right, all right. I got it.
Hold on. From the spot.
113
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,595
Oh, my Jesus.
114
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:52,994
BOBBY:
What do you want me to do with all this...
115
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,348
ERIK: Get out!
116
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,038
- Erik? No!
- BOBBY: Sorry.
117
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,036
(BOBBY MOANING)
118
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,593
All right, son!
119
00:05:58,720 --> 00:05:59,596
(COUGHING)
120
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,109
Yeah! That's what being a Stifler's all about.
121
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,078
- No, no, no. She was choking.
- HARRY: That's it!
122
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,474
- I was helping her.
- That's how Stiflers do college.
123
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,194
Now, let's just give these kids some privacy.
124
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,151
(WHISPERING) Doing good. Keep it up.
125
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,475
I'm not trying to freak you out, roomie,
but I just totally came.
126
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:51,914
Is this where
Laura Johnson and Sara Coleman live?
127
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,956
Yeah, I'm Laura Johnson
and this is my roommate, Sara.
128
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:57,669
My name is Dwight Stifler.
129
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,392
I'm here with the
Freshman Welcoming Committee,
130
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,670
and I've been given instructions
to escort you ladies
131
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,836
on a guided tour of the entire campus.
132
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,315
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah.
133
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,556
Should we wear anything special?
134
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,916
Dude, there is no way that everybody
in this is a student here.
135
00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,031
Look, he's holding her boob.
136
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,275
He is.
137
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,995
No, man, they are.
I've had a subscription for, like, a year.
138
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:23,633
That'll be good.
139
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,558
That's not a cologne ad.
140
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,990
I've used that exact issue
more times than I can count.
141
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,275
(COOZE EXCLAIMS DISGUSTEDLY)
142
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,355
(SNIFFING)
143
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:34,959
You smell pretty.
144
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:37,669
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
145
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,314
- Sorry.
- That was so uncalled for.
146
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,159
- Wow.
- Is this Erik Stifler's room?
147
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,229
Yeah.
148
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,316
Welcome to college, boys.
149
00:07:58,280 --> 00:07:59,872
Yeah. No, I wouldn't lie to you.
I'm dead serious.
150
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,753
Most sororities won't even give you a bid
unless you've had a threesome.
151
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,836
It shows that you work well
within the group dynamic,
152
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,393
and that you're really prepared
for sisterhood.
153
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,430
You know what I'm saying?
154
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:08,993
- Really?
- Yeah.
155
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,235
Oh, man. Who is this guy?
156
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,828
Dude, he's the reason we came
to college here.
157
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,388
- You like that?
- That was awesome.
158
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,432
You have to give a little bit back
every now and then.
159
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,279
- Hey, hey, shower buddy!
- Oh, hey. Hi.
160
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:27,469
Shower buddy?
161
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,433
Yeah, Erik and I met
when I was showering this afternoon.
162
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,437
- Really?
- Yeah.
163
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,313
Oh, right, the coed bathrooms. Yeah.
164
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,271
It took me about three years
to get the board of trustees
165
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,550
to approve that one. Worth it.
166
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:40,238
Oh, Ashley, hi. This...
167
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,794
Everyone, this is Ashley.
Ashley, this is everyone.
168
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:43,909
ASHLEY: Hi, everybody.
169
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,759
This is my roommate, Denise.
She just came here from Georgia.
170
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,393
Hey, y'all.
171
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,717
Well, I do declare, a real life Scarlett O'Hara.
172
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:52,829
(GIGGLING) Oh, my.
173
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,393
Well, hey, you guys aren't taking off,
are you?
174
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,637
Yeah, we're going to this cocktail mixer
at the Epsilon Sigma Kappa House.
175
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,672
Oh, no, no, no. The Geek House?
No, trust me.
176
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,268
- I wanna stay but...
- ASHLEY: But we promised, so...
177
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,756
Plus, Ashley thinks this party
is a little bit d�class�.
178
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:07,949
What? Like sleazy?
179
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,799
Hey, baby. How you doing, sweetheart?
Grab a beer.
180
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:12,433
No, you got the wrong idea
about this whole thing.
181
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:15,199
Look, this is just a little meet and greet
that I set up to, sort of,
182
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:16,799
you know, demonstrate our school spirit
183
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,309
and our, you know,
dedication to this university.
184
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,351
Beta House fucking rules!
185
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,359
(EXCLAIMING)
186
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:26,797
(COOZE LAUGHS)
187
00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:29,589
(EXCLAIMS)
188
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,039
Real classy.
189
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,072
- Erik, it was really nice to see you again.
- Yeah.
190
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,997
- Guys, till next time.
- Yeah, see you.
191
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:37,348
GIRLS: Bye, guys.
COOZE: Bye.
192
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,198
- It's nice to meet you.
- See you.
193
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,118
Hey, Stifler,
what's up with this Geek House?
194
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:43,434
Yeah, I never even heard of it.
195
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:48,236
I know a Geek house sounds harmless,
but they are a nightmare.
196
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,473
DWIGHT:
They were a social club for decades,
197
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,875
till a group of rich geeks came in
and threw some money around,
198
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,991
built the house, got a new charter.
199
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,678
COOZE: Wait, a geek fraternity?
200
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,791
DWIGHT: To get in,
you need, like, perfect SAT scores.
201
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,911
Transfer $2 million to my Swiss account.
202
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,430
DWIGHT: Then they check your family tree
and calculate future earnings potential.
203
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:08,075
No, I said buy at 60, not sell at 60.
You're fucking fired!
204
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,400
DWIGHT: They got billionaire alumni.
205
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:09,832
DWIGHT: They got billionaire alumni.
206
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,109
Hey, it's only 100 grand.
207
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:15,838
DWIGHT: They run the student government,
and the faculty loves them.
208
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,796
But don't even get me started
on the women.
209
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:23,149
They attract the most beautiful women
from the entire school.
210
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,752
BOBBY: Who wants to hang out
with a house full of geeks?
211
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,751
DWIGHT: It's a new world out there.
212
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,757
These women realise
that the geeks are gonna be the millionaires
213
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:32,995
right out of school.
214
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,429
They've just adjusted their nesting habits.
215
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,398
Hey, don't sweat it.
Beta's still where the party's at, right?
216
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:46,753
Look out!
Stifler, the judging's about to begin.
217
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,279
(BULL EXHALES)
218
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,270
Judging?
219
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,958
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
220
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,275
(POP MUSIC PLAYING
THROUGH SPEAKERS)
221
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,118
Oh, the Beta House never disappoints.
222
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,550
- Are you serious? It's always like this?
- All the time.
223
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:10,393
- These girls are ridiculous.
- Ridiculous. Get the clipboard.
224
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:16,749
(WHOOPING)
225
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,190
Sweetie, you are naughty.
I am keeping you after class.
226
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:24,317
Bring that ruler. I've also been bad.
227
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,391
And this one over here's got great abs.
228
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,398
They look like fresh buttered rolls
right out of the oven.
229
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,988
This is the best idea I've ever had!
230
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:38,638
- No, I just... I can't handle it.
- This is chicken scratch. You're a caveman.
231
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:39,433
She's pulling them out.
She's pulling them out.
232
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,118
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
233
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,275
(ALL GASPING)
234
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,112
Perfect 10!
235
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,115
(BOTH WHOOPING)
236
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,196
- Beta! Beta!
- ALL: Beta! Beta!
237
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:58,192
Ladies and gentlemen,
depravity is haunting this university.
238
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:03,032
Sex, alcohol, vulgarity, stupidity.
239
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:07,435
Once, this was a respected institution
of higher learning.
240
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,518
We are declaring a new age
at this university.
241
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:11,868
An age in which a student's worth
242
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,594
is no longer measured
by his blood alcohol level,
243
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,393
but rather, his GPA.
244
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:22,230
We formed this fraternity to change the way
geeks are thought of in this country.
245
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,310
But as history has proven,
246
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,238
for a new civilization to emerge,
247
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,954
another must crumble.
248
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,274
We must destroy the Betas.
249
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:47,073
Hey, Stacey, my hands are wet.
I can't get this beer open.
250
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,394
Will you do it for me?
251
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:57,918
Thanks. Those Kegel muscle exercises
are really paying off, huh?
252
00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,395
So what do we have to do to become Betas?
253
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,070
Well, obviously, you guys are cool with me.
254
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,430
What you need to do
is impress the rush chair, Wesley.
255
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:06,595
- Have you guys met Wesley?
- ALL: Uh-uh.
256
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,039
You haven't? All right.
He's in the other room.
257
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,673
Come on, I'll introduce you. Follow me.
258
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,791
(WESLEY PLAYING PIANO)
259
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,439
DWIGHT:
Don't be fooled by his appearance.
260
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:20,632
His nickname is the Blackout Menace.
261
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:21,670
He's a perfect student,
262
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,756
except for his habit
of getting belligerently drunk,
263
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,952
blacking out,
causing complete and total mayhem,
264
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,798
and never remembering a thing.
265
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:39,955
Uh...
266
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,753
Excuse me. Where is this plane going to?
267
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,548
Detroit.
268
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,233
Thank God.
269
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,830
All right, excuse me.
Where is it coming from?
270
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,188
Bangkok.
271
00:13:56,880 --> 00:14:00,634
- Whose kid is that?
- Yours. You adopted him yesterday.
272
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,239
Congratulations.
273
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:06,875
Hey, buddy.
274
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,639
Are you serious?
275
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:14,469
Yep, just dropped Sung Lee off
at their embassy this last week.
276
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,673
Kid nearly caused an international incident.
277
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,188
Wesley!
278
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:23,674
Sorry to interrupt.
Wesley, this is my cousin and his buddies.
279
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,469
- Hi.
- WESLEY: Hey.
280
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:26,919
- Erik, right?
- ERIK: Yeah.
281
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,998
Mike Coozeman.
How come we didn't see you last year?
282
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:33,237
I was in a Mexican jail.
I had to tunnel my way out.
283
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:37,273
But I made it back in time for finals
which is what we're all about here at Beta,
284
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,753
education.
285
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:40,515
Right.
286
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,198
- You wanna dance?
- Yeah.
287
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:44,919
Let's get sexy.
288
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:46,915
(DWIGHT WHISTLING)
289
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,678
Hey, you ready?
290
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:52,190
There's a hundred hot horny chicks
here tonight. I'm counting on you.
291
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,595
(POP MUSIC PLAYING
THROUGH SPEAKERS)
292
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,676
Get some, baby! Get some!
293
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,519
(PLAYING PIANO)
294
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,916
(SINGING) Call me irresponsible
295
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:34,191
Call me unreliable
296
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,156
Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
297
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,068
(BANGING PIANO KEYBOARD)
298
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,590
Are you gonna start drinking?
Because I desperately need a wing man.
299
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,156
No, I'm not drinking tonight, Bull.
I had a rough night last week.
300
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,158
Oh, really? Really? That's fine.
301
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,350
Because then I just might have
to tell these fine, young ladies
302
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:56,029
about a certain frat boy
and a Mexican transvestite!
303
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,149
All right, all right, all right.
304
00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:59,959
One drink.
305
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,598
Yeah, just one.
306
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,309
DWIGHT: Hey.
307
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:24,829
What the hell's with you, man?
308
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:28,157
Can you not see all this prime ass
a foot from your face?
309
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,396
Yeah, man, I see. It's... It's pretty cool.
310
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,318
Yeah, it's cool. You should be tearing it up!
311
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:34,316
You guys, it's just...
312
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,590
Remember last year?
We came up here, I had the time of my life.
313
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,917
You know, I did stuff I neverwould
have dreamed I would've ever done,
314
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,439
and I kind of figured it would change me.
315
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,313
Yeah, okay.
So you got drunk and you ran naked, right?
316
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,590
But you blew it
with a really hot sorority chick
317
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,711
to run home and have sex
with your little girlfriend.
318
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,831
Yeah, Erik. That stunt might
have won you points in high school,
319
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,837
- but this isn't high school.
- No.
320
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:54,154
I guess you guys are right.
321
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,033
Listen, college is your one chance
to start over. Okay?
322
00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,436
You get to hit the reset button on life.
You get to be anybody you wanna be.
323
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,348
- Never thought of it like that before.
- Yeah. Here, slug that.
324
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,558
- That a boy. Julie, this is my cousin, Erik.
- JULIE: Hey.
325
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,433
I just wanted you to know Erik voted
for you in the hottie contest,
326
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,676
and since he's, like,
the ladies' man of the family,
327
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,677
I totally trust his taste.
328
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,238
- You want to dance, gorgeous?
- I'd love to.
329
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,593
(SOFTLY) Anybody you wanna be. Yeah.
330
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,195
(POP MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)
331
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,599
Wow, you can really put that away.
332
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,950
You kidding me?
This stuff is like waterto me.
333
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,190
(MUSIC STOPS)
334
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:44,920
(ALL EXCLAIMING DISAPPOINTEDLY)
335
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,592
(ALL EXCLAIMING DISAPPOINTEDLY)
336
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,957
Hey, hey, everybody,
settle down for a second!
337
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,230
We're just having
a little, minor technical glitch.
338
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,749
No big deal.
We'll get everything fixed up in a minute.
339
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:54,756
(EDGAR LAUGHING)
340
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,480
I don't think so, Stifler!
341
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,831
You see,
you overloaded your prehistoric circuits.
342
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,713
I'm afraid your music won't be coming on
forthe rest of the night.
343
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,912
Don't... Don't listen to him.
We'll get everything fixed in a minute.
344
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,634
That won't matter
because by Jake's calculations,
345
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,876
based on the amount
of kegs and liquor you bought,
346
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,072
you should be running out, just about now.
347
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,760
- Bullshit.
- The fucking kegs are dry!
348
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,074
(ALL EXCLAIMING DISAPPOINTEDLY)
349
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,316
We're out of fucking booze!
350
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:23,150
(BOBBY EXCLAIMING)
351
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:24,508
WESLEY: I know!
352
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,835
Settle down! It's fine. We'll make a beer run.
353
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,359
EDGAR: They could do that,
354
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:32,678
or you can all come to the Geek House
where we have enough liquor to last a week,
355
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,439
along with all the champagne you can drink.
356
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,075
(EDGAR LAUGHS CONTENTEDLY)
357
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,909
We also have a heated pool
and enough swimsuits for everyone.
358
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,190
That is, if you even want to wear one.
359
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:44,355
Yeah!
360
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:47,914
(GIRLS SHRIEKING)
361
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,951
Are you fucking kidding me?
362
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:51,752
Oh, it's your choice, people.
363
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,599
- Stay here and get puked on...
- Okay, I'm out of here.
364
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,915
Or come party, VIP style.
365
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,395
All right! Let's go! Let's go!
366
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:00,999
(ALL CHEERING)
367
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:05,630
(WHOOPING)
368
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,759
Fucking Edgar.
369
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:11,790
(BULL GROWLING)
370
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,196
Prick really knows how
to throw that money around, huh?
371
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,878
Oh, yeah.
372
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,878
Oh, but it doesn't help that numbnuts here
barfed all overthe chicks, either.
373
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,353
DWIGHT: Yeah.
374
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,392
- Sorry about that.
- You look disgusting.
375
00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:26,349
(ALL EXCLAIM DISGUSTEDLY)
376
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:30,109
- Erik, for crying out loud, man!
- I'll clean it up.
377
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,718
(SIGHING)
378
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,359
Not again.
379
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,159
Morning, sexy.
380
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,277
Some party, huh?
381
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,630
Hey, baby. How you doing?
382
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,199
No. No, no, no.
383
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,197
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
384
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,111
DWIGHT: How you feeling there, cuz?
385
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,790
A lot better. Thanks.
386
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,388
No need for thanks, we're family.
387
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,192
Right now, I gotta run.
I gotta go down to the basement,
388
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,595
take care of some official Beta business.
389
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,995
- Have some of Peaches' eggs.
- Okay.
390
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:14,917
All right. Thanks, Peaches.
391
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,439
(PEACHES SPEAKING SPANISH)
392
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:17,470
DWIGHT: Oh, buddy.
393
00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:20,395
(LAUGHING)
394
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,509
(WHOOPING)
395
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,278
- I need this place.
- BULL: That a boy!
396
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,910
- WESLEY: Yeah.
- Off the hook! Work it!
397
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,758
So, guys, the hard-on champ is in?
398
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:28,835
- Yeah!
- ALL: All right.
399
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,313
BULL: Aye, aye.
400
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,916
DWIGHT: Yeah, I love this guy.
401
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:37,758
Beta? I love Beta!
402
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:38,790
(LAUGHING)
403
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,717
BOBBY: You like Beta, baby?
DWIGHT: Best rack in the house, though.
404
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,558
I fucking love Beta, baby!
405
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:43,715
(LAUGHING)
406
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,831
Shut up! Shut up! Everyone calm down.
407
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,234
I told you I didn't want to drink.
408
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,874
Look how the pig squeals!
Look how the pig squeals!
409
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,592
All in favour of Bobby Coolidge?
410
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:52,835
- Everyone.
- Aye, aye.
411
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,154
- Aye, aye.
- Aye, aye.
412
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,311
DWIGHT: All right, all right.
413
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,077
WESLEY: Oh, man!
BULL: Jesus!
414
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,234
BULL: Holy crap! Wow!
415
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,749
WESLEY: Man, this guy really knows
how to work a room.
416
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,110
Give him a bid.
He'll be a pussy magnet, buddy.
417
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,719
Yeah!
418
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,312
BULL: Oh, no!
419
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:18,149
DWIGHT: Hey, hey, hey!
All right, that's my cousin. Take it easy.
420
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:22,751
No offence, brother, okay? But I don't know
if your cousin is up for the challenge, man.
421
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,872
I'm with Bull on this one.
I mean, he's a nice kid,
422
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,673
but he passed up sleeping
with Brandy, man.
423
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,358
All right, all right, all right.
424
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,153
Look, I know Erik missed his big chance
to, like, sleep with the one girl
425
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,033
that, I'm assuming, everybody in this room
would lop off your left nut to bang.
426
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:37,673
- Am I right?
- BULL: Two nuts.
427
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,233
All right, does that mean
he's not Beta material?
428
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:40,839
- Yes!
- ALL: Yeah!
429
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:45,192
(SIGHING) He was young and dumb
and in love. He's a... He's a late bloomer.
430
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,072
I think he's gonna surprise you
this semester.
431
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,560
And anyway, he's a legacy,
so he's automatically getting a bid.
432
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,391
So you can all fuck off.
433
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,871
- Aye.
- Aye, aye!
434
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,070
DWIGHT:
Yeah, that's what I thought, bitches.
435
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,076
(BULL LAUGHING)
436
00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,474
(TOILET FLUSHING)
437
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,351
- Hey, you.
- Hi.
438
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,392
- We have to stop meeting like this.
- (CHUCKLING) Yeah.
439
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,470
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I just had a really rough night.
440
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:19,908
(CHUCKLES) You know, I think Denise has
a crush on yourfriend, Cooze.
441
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,678
She thinks he's sweet.
442
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,519
- Denise thinks Cooze is sweet?
- Yeah.
443
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,439
- Wait, actually...
- Erik, I...
444
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,632
- (SIGHING) I was thinking...
- Look, I'm just thinking...
445
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,672
- Do you wanna go out with me once?
- Yeah.
446
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,997
- Really?
- Yeah. That would be really nice.
447
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:44,317
Okay, keep...
You have really pretty teeth, by the way.
448
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,518
(FIREALARM RINGING)
449
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:00,678
What's going on?
450
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,434
This sucks.
451
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,678
Hey, guys. Don't go that way.
This way's quicker.
452
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:06,710
(BOBBY YAWNING)
453
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,673
- Dude, I left the best sandwich in my dorm.
- COOZE: This sucks.
454
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,153
(ALL SIGHING)
455
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:13,915
(COOZE EXCLAIMS)
456
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,510
- Wait a second. Where are we?
- I don't see any sandwiches here.
457
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,438
Hey, guys. You wanna see something?
458
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:23,430
(ALL GASPING)
459
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,437
- COOZE: Yes.
- That is...
460
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,232
(EXCLAIMING)
461
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:42,839
Gentlemen,
462
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,512
today is the first day
of the rest of your lives.
463
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:51,555
You are the select few who have
been chosen to pledge the Beta House.
464
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,193
Beta, baby!
465
00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:01,320
Now, most fraternities do the pledging thing
a little bit differently than we do.
466
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:05,558
Most pledging consists
of hate-filled mental and physical hazing
467
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,079
designed to break you down.
468
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,872
But here at Beta,
469
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:14,154
I, Dwight Stifler, your pledge master,
have devised an elaborate scientific plan
470
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,192
to build teamwork and brotherhood.
471
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,719
Gentlemen, I give you your pledge board.
472
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,112
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
473
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,276
On this pledge board are 50 tasks
474
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,358
that you and your pledge brothers
must complete by semester's end
475
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,118
if you want to become Betas.
476
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,231
To start things off,
477
00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:38,069
I say we begin with my personal favourite,
number 37.
478
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,675
(POP MUSIC PLAYING
THROUGH SPEAKERS)
479
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:48,755
Okay, so here's the low-down.
480
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:54,637
One of you has got to get your ass signed
by a stripperwith photo proof. All right?
481
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:56,879
All right, we're gonna go get a drink.
482
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:57,910
- Wesley...
- Yeah.
483
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,031
Don't bother us.
484
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:04,715
Okay, who's gonna try and do this?
485
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,999
Oh, you guys, I got this. Who's got a pen?
That'll do.
486
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,990
Hey, baby, how's about signing my ass
while I'm up here?
487
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:22,829
(CRASHING)
488
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,271
She got Cooze! We gotta help him!
489
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:27,475
(GRUNTS)
490
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,031
Down goes fatty!
491
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:31,789
(GROWLING)
492
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:33,797
Stripper brawl!
493
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,236
ERIK: Stifler, we need some help!
494
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,279
Oh, cousin got clothes-lined.
That's a shame.
495
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,350
That's gonna leave a big bruise.
496
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,638
(BOBBY GASPING)
497
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,990
Those girls are wild tonight.
498
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,839
I used to fuck girls like you in prison.
499
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:04,396
- Oh, I love a good stripper brawl.
- Who doesn't?
500
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:05,475
(CRASHING)
501
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,520
- NICK: You started it!
- Way to go, Cooze.
502
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:09,589
- NICK: You started it!
- Way to go, Cooze.
503
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,199
What? I didn't do anything.
504
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,232
You charged that stripper with a pen
like you were going to shove it in her ass.
505
00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:16,112
COOZE: Maybe if her panties
smelled like waffles,
506
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,389
then you would have done something...
507
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:18,669
Shut up. Shut up!
508
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,438
- BOBBY:... some syrup. That idiot?
- I bet she would have liked that.
509
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,312
(EXCLAIMS)
510
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:26,353
- Hey there, gorgeous. You work here?
- Yeah, sweetie.
511
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,590
You see,
we're pledging the Beta House right now,
512
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:32,030
and one of our tasks
is to get our ass signed by a...
513
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,674
A professional dancer like yourself.
514
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,349
So I was just, you know, wondering
if maybe you'd do me the honour?
515
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,950
That's a different approach
than the boys usually take in this place.
516
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,116
- Bend over.
- Thanks.
517
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:45,798
My name's Erik Stifler, by the way.
518
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,195
Let me get one for the year book.
519
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:49,799
(BOBBY GIGGLING)
520
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:52,675
BOBBY: Nice smile.
521
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,872
- You have any relation to Dwight Stifler?
- He's my cousin.
522
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,673
- Hey, Stifler.
- Candy. How are you, sweetheart?
523
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,279
Good to see you.
524
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,834
I can see where he gets his charm from.
525
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,032
- You come see me soon, okay?
- You know I will.
526
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,833
DWIGHT: All right, boys.
Hey, congratulations. Task 37.
527
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,916
- In the bag! Done!
- ALL: Yeah.
528
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,277
ERIK: Good job, boys.
That's our first task completed.
529
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,473
I think that stripper's implant broke my face.
530
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:29,469
Everyone, let's go.
531
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,514
(CREAKING)
532
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,151
Sweet Caesar's ghost!
533
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:27,236
(EDGAR EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)
534
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,194
Fifteen, check.
535
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,276
Sixteen, check.
536
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,876
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
537
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:47,673
Hmm.
538
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,836
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
539
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,074
- Who's that guy?
- He's my Swahili instructor.
540
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,077
I have my proficiency exam next week.
541
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:00,599
- Nice!
- Yeah.
542
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,800
Hey, what's...
What's this golden hammer doing in here?
543
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,153
Hey, what's...
What's this golden hammer doing in here?
544
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,714
It's from the Greek Olympiad.
545
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:10,150
It was, like, a series of competitions
involving skill and deviant behaviour.
546
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:13,158
They got really out of hand,
so the university banned them for life.
547
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,271
The Betas were legendary at them, though.
We never lost.
548
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,231
- Cool. Yeah.
- Yeah.
549
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,795
Oh, and remember, Erik...
550
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:26,829
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
551
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:28,915
Yeah.
552
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:33,950
Swahili.
553
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,114
ERIK: This place is swell, isn't it?
ASHLEY: (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
554
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:39,514
ASHLEY: Look at how juicy.
555
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,192
Sucking the crab? Wow.
556
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:44,914
- This place is fun.
- Yeah. Yeah, this place is awesome.
557
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,996
I thought you'd like it here, you know.
558
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:49,998
I like this mallet.
559
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,274
(BOTH LAUGHING)
560
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,949
- Oh, my God. Are you okay? Here.
- ERIK: It's all right.
561
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:58,353
It doesn't really taste that bad.
562
00:29:58,480 --> 00:29:59,390
(MAN CHUCKLING)
563
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,318
Dude, I'm telling you,
this chick can't get enough of me.
564
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,158
I did her again last night!
565
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:07,113
Oh, I can't believe that. You're the man!
566
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,639
I think I know that girl.
567
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:10,751
You know,
not all frat guys are like those guys.
568
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,155
I know. I guess I just have a jaded opinion.
569
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,111
Really? Why's that?
570
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:16,992
It's just the typical story.
571
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,839
Boy meets girl.
Boy goes off to college, joins a frat,
572
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,598
starts sleeping with every girl he can.
573
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,792
Girl finds out
and dumps his ass during winter break.
574
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,630
But that was high school.
I'm much older and wiser now.
575
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,912
Right, older and wiser. And you're on a date
with a guy who's pledging a frat.
576
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,395
I know, and I'm watching you.
577
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,075
- Dine and ditch.
- Yeah.
578
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,474
That's, like, one of my favourite plays of...
579
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,749
ERIK: Oh, my God!
ASHLEY: Oh, my God! Are you okay?
580
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,239
ASHLEY: Little help here!
581
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,111
You are just the sweetest.
582
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,915
You just bring it out in me, babe.
583
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,596
- Perfect.
- Yeah?
584
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:03,275
(DENISE SIGHING)
585
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,995
- Careful, my feet are real sensitive.
- Really?
586
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:17,554
Oh, my.
587
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,355
I love foot massages.
588
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:23,633
(DENISE MOANS)
589
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:26,195
Oh, my!
590
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:38,710
(DENISE MOANS)
591
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:40,273
I can't!
592
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,079
- I'm sorry.
- No, that's cool.
593
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,796
It's totally fine, really.
594
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:59,036
Here, let me just take care of you.
595
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:01,514
Okay.
596
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:02,550
(UNZIPPING PANTS)
597
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:03,635
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
598
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,034
Ooh!
599
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,556
- You like that?
- God, yeah.
600
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,230
You do that almost as good as I do.
601
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,272
How're you feeling?
602
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,398
Hey. Good, thanks.
603
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:30,669
- Here, let me see.
- Oh, no.
604
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,438
No, no. Ashley, it's...
You really don't need to do anything.
605
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,869
Oh, my God, Erik.
You have to put something on that.
606
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,797
No, it's just a little red.
607
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:38,839
Here, let me.
608
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:41,828
ERIK: Are you sure?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
609
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:43,190
It's not...
610
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,231
(EXCLAIMS)
611
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,434
- Does it hurt?
- No, it's just really cold.
612
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,869
- ASHLEY: Does that feel better?
- Yeah.
613
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:55,918
Mmm-hmm.
614
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:57,075
Wow!
615
00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:59,998
- Oh, man!
- I didn't even touch it.
616
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:01,989
No, it's no big deal.
617
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,031
I guess I should just
take it as a compliment, right?
618
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,720
- I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry.
- It's cool.
619
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:10,471
Wow, that cream feels good.
620
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,112
Ash, you might wanna...
621
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:14,389
(WHISPERING) Just relax.
622
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,154
(PANTING) It's still hot.
623
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,435
(EXCLAIMING)
624
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:30,639
(HEART BEATING)
625
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:32,799
(ERIK MOANING)
626
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,915
Oh, my God! Mr Biggles!
627
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,509
- This is really, really embarrassing.
- No, it's okay. It's okay.
628
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,757
I just haven't seen anything like that.
629
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,599
Well, I was a virgin until last year,
630
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:08,998
and then my girlfriend dumped me
about four months ago.
631
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:14,068
Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
Are you telling me that you haven't...
632
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,792
In four months?
633
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:22,199
Well, you see, there was this incident
that made masturbation
634
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:26,238
very taboo in my household.
635
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,111
Well, you have more self-control
than most people.
636
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,391
I'm really sorry about Mr Biggles.
637
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:35,435
Yeah.
638
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,111
- Just a little... Right.
- No, it's...
639
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:48,035
Oh, baby, I love you. Whoa, baby,
why won't you tell me you love me, too?
640
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:52,039
- Hey, Bull. Have you seen Stifler?
- He's in a meeting.
641
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:55,311
- What meeting would he be at?
- I don't know. Something important.
642
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,955
And it was after my parents...
643
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:02,232
Well, they had to fire
the fourth landscaping crew
644
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,113
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
645
00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:06,276
Because they caught me with them.
646
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:10,791
And that's when I knew that I had a problem.
647
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:15,991
But I have been sex-free for two years now
648
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,918
and, you know, never felt better.
649
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,268
(WHOOPING)
650
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,431
You are so brave.
651
00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:33,793
Get it in there! Yeah! Faster! Faster!
652
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:37,390
- (SCREAMING) I'm going as fast as I can.
653
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:37,552
- (CRYING) I think I'm gonna...
- It's gonna break!
654
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:38,590
(BOTH SCREAMING)
655
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:40,233
Yes! Yes!
656
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:41,789
God, yes.
657
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,273
(GIGGLING)
658
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,628
(MOANS CONTENTEDLY)
659
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:46,318
Oh, boy.
660
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:47,919
(WHOOPING)
661
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,439
(SIGHS)
662
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,791
(LAUGHING)
663
00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:56,073
You call yourself a man?
664
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:59,351
Get back here and fuck me!
665
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:01,277
(BOTH LAUGHING)
666
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,915
Okay, okay. All right, listen.
I just did three times, okay?
667
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:09,636
I'm gonna go get an icepack
and then I'll be right back.
668
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:14,675
You know the secret,
icepacks are for pussies!
669
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,232
Oh, your friend. He wants to come play!
670
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,396
I'm going to see you again!
671
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:22,953
(GIGGLING)
672
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:24,877
(GROWLING)
673
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,752
- I'm a grizzly bear!
- You're bad.
674
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:30,156
I'm gonna steal a picnic basket
full of orgasms.
675
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:31,156
(GROWLING)
676
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,191
Okay, lay your head back.
Lay your head back.
677
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:36,118
(WHISPERING) Ready? Are you ready for it?
Let's go, all right?
678
00:36:38,720 --> 00:36:40,438
(FOOTSTEPS PATTERING)
679
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:42,592
Hey, get back here!
680
00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:44,358
(PANTING)
681
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,352
Stifler, I forgot to tell you...
682
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:48,799
BULL: Whoa.
683
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:53,753
- Get your ass over here, punk.
- Okay.
684
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,393
(BULL EXCLAIMS)
685
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:56,919
(BULL SCREAMS)
686
00:36:59,920 --> 00:37:03,151
Oh, dude. On her teddy bear? Really?
687
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,795
Dude, he hasn't busted a nut
in, like, four months.
688
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:07,069
What do you think I should do?
689
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:08,918
- Man, you gotta beat the bishop.
- Yeah.
690
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:12,510
- You need to punch that clown. A lot.
- What are you talking about?
691
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,190
- You need to masturbate, dude. A lot.
- ALL: Alot.
692
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,392
So next time you won't blow your load
when you're rounding first base.
693
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:20,555
Yeah.
694
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,871
Just gotta clean the pipes.
695
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:47,674
(SIGHS)
696
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:58,758
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
697
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,396
- Who is it?
- Hey, it's Ashley.
698
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,511
We were gonna hang out, remember? .
699
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,914
Yeah! Yeah, I remember.
700
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:12,350
I... I lost track of time, Ashley.
I'll be right there.
701
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,074
- Are you okay in there?
- Yeah.
702
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,670
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
Just give me one second, okay?
703
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:20,839
Erik, are you naked?
704
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,520
Just putting on my t-shirt right now.
705
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:25,519
There it is.
706
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:26,870
Whew!
707
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:28,829
- Hi.
- Hi.
708
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:32,032
- Can I come in?
- No. No, the place is actually a mess.
709
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,116
- Bobby's disgusting.
- Oh, yeah?
710
00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:37,073
- But I know a cool place we can go.
- Come on.
711
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:39,155
(DOOR CLOSING)
712
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,195
All right. Right hand, yellow.
713
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:48,990
Ooh.
714
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,712
I love this game.
715
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,869
Don't you fall or you're losing those boxers.
716
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,911
(LAUGHING) Oh, really?
717
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,032
(GROANING)
718
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:01,230
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
719
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,079
Ow.
720
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:04,599
- Hi.
- Hi.
721
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:16,311
(SIGHS)
722
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,438
I'm sorry.
723
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:26,519
- What? Are you a virgin or something or...
- No.
724
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,036
It's just when I... When I get too excited...
725
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:34,395
(SIGHING)
726
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,351
Oh, it's embarrassing.
727
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:42,589
Here.
728
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,517
- Let me just take care of you again.
- Okay.
729
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:52,600
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Cheers, cheers.
730
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,192
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Cheers, cheers.
731
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:56,515
Mmm.
732
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:57,868
(COUGHING)
733
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,597
Let me get that for you.
A little spillage. No big deal.
734
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,512
It's not gonna go off again, is it?
735
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,996
Absolutely not.
I've been practicing my self-control a lot.
736
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:15,473
Alot? Okay.
737
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:36,279
(ASHLEY CLEARING THROAT)
738
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:37,515
Come on.
739
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,473
Oh, just how much have
you been working on your self-control?
740
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:45,232
I'm really sorry. It's not working.
741
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:46,270
(GIGGLING)
742
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,437
My stupid friends, they said that if I would...
743
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,074
Erik, it's okay. It happens.
744
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:54,189
Wine?
745
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,158
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)
746
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:04,999
All right, boys. We got a live one here.
747
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,554
Two clicks north, three clicks east.
748
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,791
All right, three clicks east.
749
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,035
DWIGHT: Let's blast our big giant ones.
750
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:15,752
Fire in the hole!
751
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:19,555
DWIGHT: Direct hit!
752
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:20,590
(LAUGHING)
753
00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:22,631
- DWIGHT: Yes!
- Oh, my God.
754
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:26,035
(SIGHS)
755
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,515
I love the smell of boobies in the morning.
756
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:30,790
Hey, so how's it going with Denise?
757
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:36,671
Well, okay, so we hooked up
and she gave me a couple of hand jobs.
758
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:37,710
(LAUGHING)
759
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:38,795
Hand jobs?
760
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,434
They're actually the best hand jobs
I've ever had in my life.
761
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,755
- Oh, really?
- Shut up!
762
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:48,279
The only problem is
I try to stick my hand down her pants,
763
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,436
she keeps... Pulls my hands away.
764
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,039
She says she's embarrassed.
765
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:53,036
Uh-oh.
766
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:57,119
- Maybe she has an abnormally large bush.
- Yeah, or maybe she's got a yeast infection.
767
00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:58,150
(EXCLAIMS DISGUSTEDLY)
768
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,669
- Come on.
- Maybe she's got a dick.
769
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:01,790
Huh?
770
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,956
What? Crying Game? Boys Don't Cry?
771
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:06,389
- That's based on true stories, boys.
- No.
772
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:07,555
- Yeah.
- No, there's no way.
773
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:09,238
Hey, man, maybe she's a hermaphrodite.
774
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,874
Transvestite? Alittle Shanghai Surprise!
775
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:12,989
Well, come on. You said yourself,
776
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,793
she gives you the best hand jobs
you've ever had in your whole life. Right?
777
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:16,875
Yeah, so?
778
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,116
So, how do you think she got so good at it?
779
00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:21,834
Probably from working her own gear.
780
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,912
So you guys think that I might have been
hooking up with a dude this whole time?
781
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:28,508
Maybe. There's only one way to find out.
782
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:30,949
You gotta get into those pants.
783
00:42:31,720 --> 00:42:34,837
Oh, wait. This is too perfect.
Load it up. Load it up, right now.
784
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:39,635
- What the...
- DWIGHT: Sorry!
785
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:40,870
(EXCLAIMS)
786
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:42,558
DWIGHT: Yeah!
ALL: Yeah!
787
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:55,632
(SIGHING)
788
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:57,751
I want you to go down on me, Cooze.
789
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,235
Are you sure? Because I can wait.
790
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,476
No, I want you down there now.
791
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:07,677
That's it, Cooze.
792
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:16,992
That's it, Cooze.
793
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:18,789
Suck my cock!
794
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,114
She's got a dick!
795
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:22,633
Are you okay?
796
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,275
Oh, my God. I just had the worse nightmare.
797
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,632
What was it about? Who's got a dick?
798
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:32,235
I do.
799
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,670
(SCREAMING)
800
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:43,108
Oh, my God.
801
00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:45,073
I can't take this anymore.
802
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:50,920
(PHONE RINGING)
803
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:50,999
(PHONE RINGING)
804
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:03,475
Hello?
805
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:05,712
ASHLEY: I thought you were gonna call me.
806
00:44:06,240 --> 00:44:07,593
Oh, hey.
807
00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:09,517
Yeah. I fell asleep.
808
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:11,075
I'm sorry.
809
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,076
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
810
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:13,838
Were you dreaming about me?
811
00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:15,914
Maybe.
812
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,476
Hey, can you hold on for one sec?
813
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,639
Because this
814
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:25,999
isn't a dream.
815
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,998
Oh, God. That's not mine. That's Bobby's.
816
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:45,193
That's not mine.
817
00:44:58,680 --> 00:44:59,590
(DOOR OPENING)
818
00:44:59,720 --> 00:45:01,039
(WHOOPING)
819
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,355
Guys. What the hell are you doing?
820
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:05,471
BOBBY: Number 33, baby.
821
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,478
We got a chance to do number 33,
but we gotta go now.
822
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:10,670
- Half-naked girl here.
- Sorry, Ashley.
823
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:12,756
Dude, the manager just called.
He's got an opening.
824
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,111
- We haven't even rehearsed for that bit yet.
- It's our only chance, man.
825
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:18,349
Really?
826
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:21,758
Ashley, it is Number 33.
827
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:26,638
Maybe, we could just finish later
or something?
828
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:28,675
It's cool.
829
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:33,269
I'm coming with you.
830
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:36,991
- We rocked that place.
- Yeah!
831
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:37,996
COOZE: Awesome!
832
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:39,030
(WHOOPING)
833
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:42,915
Number 46, sex in the stacks. Chalk it up.
834
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,714
Number 26, receive a golden shower.
835
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,149
Number 27, perform a Cleveland steamer.
836
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:52,713
- Check.
- COOZE: Oh, man.
837
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:54,751
Get a panda in the grotto.
838
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,314
- Thirty, get a blumpkin.
- COOZE: Oh, you didn't.
839
00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:00,079
After corned beef. It was disgusting.
840
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,156
- All right. Yeah. That was pretty good.
- BOBBY: Yeah!
841
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,874
By the power granted to me
by the great country of Canada,
842
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,594
I now pronounce you life partners.
843
00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:09,199
(ALL CHEERING)
844
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,117
Would you like to seal it with a kiss?
845
00:46:11,240 --> 00:46:12,150
- No.
- Yes.
846
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:14,316
Number 41. Make it official.
847
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:18,235
Because I'm a gentleman.
848
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:23,113
Wow. You boys are such an inspiration.
849
00:46:25,240 --> 00:46:27,071
I think it's time we do
a little mid-semester celebrating.
850
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,395
- What do you think?
- Yes. Definitely.
851
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,750
(POP MUSIC PLAYING
THROUGH SPEAKERS)
852
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:42,112
Stifler, I'm afraid I gotta see everyone's IDs.
853
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,070
Come on, Manny. You're joking, right?
854
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:46,679
I'm afraid not.
855
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,109
You see, the new ownership
of this establishment
856
00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:50,798
doesn't condone underage drinking.
857
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:54,196
Officers, please escort these minors
from the premises.
858
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:56,479
BOBBY: Can I touch your gun?
ERIK: All right, okay. We're going.
859
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,433
- EDGAR: Bye-bye.
- You're fucking with traditions, Edgar.
860
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:03,348
I'm not just fucking with your traditions,
I'm tearing them down.
861
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:06,313
Take him away.
862
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,269
You know, you are way too classy,
863
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:15,234
and have way too nice of a body to be
hanging out with a douche bag like that.
864
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,956
Don't listen to him, honey.
Your body isn't that great.
865
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:20,399
I'll have a gimlet, please. Thank you.
866
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:23,595
Stifler.
867
00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:25,278
- DWIGHT: What?
- Your lawyer's here.
868
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:26,160
Excellent. Thanks, Marty. Send him in.
869
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:27,559
Excellent. Thanks, Marty. Send him in.
870
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:29,838
You have a lawyer? .
871
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,311
Thanks for coming. I'm glad you got here.
872
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:37,273
Well, you know me.
I'm always down forthe cause.
873
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:40,155
- Betas for life, baby.
- Betas for life.
874
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:41,793
Mr Levenstein?
875
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:43,433
Hey, Erik. How's your mom and dad?
876
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:45,357
They're good. They're really good, actually.
877
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,914
- Well, that's good.
- DWIGHT: Hey, guys, this is Noah.
878
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:50,474
He's a Beta alum.
He's our House-counselling consigliere.
879
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:53,797
This guy has gotten us out of more shit
than you can even imagine.
880
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:56,639
Well you Beta boys do keep me busy,
that's for sure.
881
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:58,876
Now, I've just talked to the district attorney.
882
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:02,151
He's an old school chum of mine.
He's willing to drop all the charges
883
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:06,068
if you promise never to set foot
in the Silver Dollar again.
884
00:48:07,240 --> 00:48:08,878
This is ridiculous.
885
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:11,432
Where am I gonna have Sunday brunch?
886
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,357
Oh, look, I know you're upset.
887
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:15,277
They do have a great omelet bar,
that's for sure.
888
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:18,710
- But you're just gonna have to give it up.
- No, we can't.
889
00:48:19,240 --> 00:48:23,233
These geeks... These geeks are messing
with the Beta way of life.
890
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,316
MARTY: You want to step inside, Noah?
891
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,078
- Oh, it's open?
- MARTY: Yeah.
892
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:29,872
Oh, thanks Marty.
893
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:34,031
If you wanna grab a sandwich,
I'll just be a minute.
894
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:36,679
Look, fellas,
895
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,670
there is a bigger picture here
than the Beta way of life.
896
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,950
Is that what you thought
when you were in the Beta House?
897
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:46,589
No.
898
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,309
- No. It wasn't.
- So...
899
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:55,590
So I think something has to be done here.
Within the confines of the law, of course.
900
00:48:55,720 --> 00:48:57,312
Of course. Of course.
901
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:01,039
So what would you do?
902
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,398
What would I do?
903
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:10,596
I would crush those geeks
with every Beta muscle in my body.
904
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:14,918
But that's just me.
905
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:18,194
See you boys at homecoming.
Say hi to your folks, Erik.
906
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,038
ERIK: I will. Thank you.
907
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:31,034
ERIK: (WHISPERING) Come on.
908
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,315
Freeze, human.
909
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:52,954
(GROWLING)
910
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:55,238
(EDGAR EXCLAIMS)
911
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:03,270
(SPEAKING MOCK-ALIEN LANGUAGE)
912
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:07,075
Uphold the galactic alliance with my cock.
913
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:08,599
(GROWLING)
914
00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:11,633
(GIRL SCREAMING)
915
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:14,792
What the hell is going on in there?
916
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:18,196
Sounds like a dog with its dick
stuck in a vacuum.
917
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,914
- All right, this way.
- I'm a husky ninja.
918
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:27,995
ERIK: Okay.
919
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,155
Guys, I really gotta take a dump.
920
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:36,998
Oh, come on. Not now.
921
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:39,236
That fast food I ate put me over.
922
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,158
Oh! I can't wait.
923
00:50:42,720 --> 00:50:46,599
Well, hurry up, then.
God, that guy's disgusting.
924
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,076
Okay. All right.
925
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:55,073
(AIR HISSING)
926
00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:58,109
(WHISPERING) Okay.
927
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:06,030
All right.
928
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:07,959
(ALARM BLARING)
929
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:11,073
COOZE: Come on.
930
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:14,995
Ooh!
931
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:18,351
- Bobby, what are you doing, man?
- Upper-decker, baby!
932
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:20,038
(WHISPERING) Upper-decker, baby.
933
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:22,558
Oh, my God.
934
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:23,715
(FLUSHING)
935
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,593
COOZE: Betas, we are leaving. Go, go, go!
936
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:33,479
What's happening?
937
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:43,398
DWIGHT: Well, pledges,
938
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:47,190
you completed every task
on the task board in record time.
939
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:53,955
I, along with every other Beta in this room,
are proud to call you our brothers.
940
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,589
Congratulations, you're all Betas!
941
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:58,549
COOZE: Oh, yeah.
942
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:00,354
(CHEERING)
943
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:02,873
DWIGHT: Hey, cuz.
944
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:04,235
(WHOOPING)
945
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,590
- BOBBY: Yeah.
- DWIGHT: Here you go, cuz.
946
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,831
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
947
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:17,590
So it sounds like you got yourself
a pretty good girl there, buddy.
948
00:52:17,720 --> 00:52:19,870
Oh, yeah. You know what?
Now that pledge is finally over,
949
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:21,752
we can spend a lot more time together, too.
950
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:26,310
What? Are you kidding me?
951
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:29,910
Edgar, get you and the Mensa rejects
out of my house, now.
952
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:34,393
(EDGAR WHIMPERS)
953
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,912
You have crossed me
for the last time, Stifler!
954
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:43,753
We're gonna settle this once and for all!
955
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,199
Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey!
956
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:48,469
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
957
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:50,795
Oh! What the fuck?
958
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:56,757
(SCREAMING)
959
00:52:56,880 --> 00:53:00,714
We, the members of the Geek House,
challenge you, the Beta House,
960
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:02,558
to the Greek Olympiad.
961
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:03,874
DWIGHT: The Greek Olympiad?
962
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,070
As much as I'd love to kick
your Geek ass up and down the field, Ed,
963
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:09,431
I hate to tell you, the Greek Olympiad's
been banned for like 40 years. So...
964
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:11,029
(EDGAR LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
965
00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:15,676
What's the matter? .
Afraid to get into a little trouble, Stifler? .
966
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:17,274
Afraid?
967
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:20,955
- Let's do this.
- Oh, but there is one catch.
968
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:23,036
We are playing for charters.
969
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:27,639
If we win, you give up your charter
and you move out of the Beta House.
970
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:29,958
And if you win,
971
00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:33,149
we move out and you take our house.
972
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:35,512
This place against your mansion?
973
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:38,712
Consider it another tradition
I plan to tear down.
974
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:41,634
You're on.
975
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:45,791
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
976
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:47,399
Are you out of your mind?
977
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:50,796
The Greek Olympiad
has been banned for life.
978
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:52,672
You'll all get thrown off campus.
979
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:57,669
- That's a chance we're gonna have to take.
- Oh, but the Greek Olympiad is crazy.
980
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:02,476
I mean, yes, it's a combination of skill,
endurance, athleticism granted,
981
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:04,636
but there is a degree of perversion
in these games
982
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:07,957
which I don't think
would serve you kids well.
983
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:09,957
Do you happen to remember the name
of the last captain
984
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:11,593
to ever win the Greek Olympiad?
985
00:54:11,720 --> 00:54:13,711
Well, I haven't the foggiest
because it was so long ago.
986
00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:16,479
His name was Noah Levenstein.
987
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:19,599
Uh-huh.
988
00:54:19,720 --> 00:54:21,915
Well, I knew that would
catch up to me one day.
989
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:24,838
But, you know, fellas,
I didn't know what was going on back then.
990
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:26,234
I was just a dumb kid.
991
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:28,191
Mr Levenstein, we need you.
992
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:31,790
Tradition states
that the last team captain to win
993
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:33,558
comes back to officiate.
994
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:35,318
I know it's tradition.
995
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:39,432
I... I suppose I could do it.
996
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,676
I'd have to call in
and take a few personal days.
997
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:44,268
Excellent. You will not regret this.
I promise you.
998
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:46,994
- Stifler! This just came for you, man.
- DWIGHT: What is it?
999
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:53,398
This is interesting.
1000
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:55,395
(ECHOING) Hello!
1001
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:00,828
I'm here. What's this big bombshell?
1002
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:10,198
Are you sure you weren't followed?
1003
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:12,880
You? What the hell are you doing here?
1004
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:18,670
- Well, well, Stifler.
- Rock.
1005
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:20,119
Looks like we meet again.
1006
00:55:20,240 --> 00:55:24,711
- All right, this is a set-up. I'm out of here.
- Just relax, ass clown.
1007
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,638
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
1008
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:30,513
What we had was a rivalry,
1009
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:33,393
but what Edgar did
got us kicked off campus.
1010
00:55:34,720 --> 00:55:36,438
Wait, how do you even know the guy?
1011
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:37,913
(ROCK SIGHING)
1012
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:41,032
He tried to pledge
our house three years ago.
1013
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:44,436
He was the first regular sized guy
to rush the little person frat.
1014
00:55:45,240 --> 00:55:48,391
ROCK: They used to have this tradition
where we put a sheep in the basement...
1015
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:49,396
Be gentle.
1016
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:50,873
ROCK:
They'd tell us we had to bang the sheep
1017
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:54,390
and that we couldn't come out
until the rubber was used.
1018
00:55:54,520 --> 00:55:56,192
Now, one of two things happened.
1019
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:57,514
(BOY SCREAMING)
1020
00:55:57,640 --> 00:55:59,232
Either they would come out crying,
1021
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:00,270
(CRYING)
1022
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:04,154
Orthey would beat off in the rubber
and say they did the sheep.
1023
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:08,870
And then there was Edgar.
1024
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:11,954
Good luck.
1025
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:13,912
(GROANING)
1026
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:16,758
(SHEEP BLEATING)
1027
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:21,077
We gotta check it out.
1028
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:22,679
(EDGAR PANTING)
1029
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:27,919
(SCREAMS)
1030
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:30,190
For the love of God, man!
1031
00:56:31,240 --> 00:56:34,710
That sick bastard fucked the sheep.
1032
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:38,398
That's a great story
but I'm a little unclear on how it helps me?
1033
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:39,430
(ROCK SIGHING)
1034
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:41,915
I'm sure you'll figure something out, Shitler.
1035
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:48,993
(CHEERING)
1036
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:53,079
(WHISTLING)
1037
00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:02,394
Welcome to the Greek Olympiad!
1038
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:13,192
Competing today in this ancient tradition
1039
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:15,117
are the Beta House...
1040
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:18,878
- Beta! Beta!
- ALL: Beta! Beta!
1041
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:20,718
And the Geek House.
1042
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:28,077
Now, when we think of the term
Greek Olympiad,
1043
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:31,875
we hearken back to ancient traditions.
1044
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:36,629
We conjure up images of mighty warriors
1045
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:40,595
in their little skirts, getting all oiled up,
1046
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:43,438
writhing around with each other.
1047
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:48,509
Some called it wrestling,
others called it something else.
1048
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:53,756
But enough history. On with the games.
1049
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:04,391
The first event is called
The Release of Venus.
1050
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:09,471
The man who undoes all the brassieres
on his side the quickest, wins.
1051
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:11,479
You know, Ed,
1052
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:15,356
it's really a shame all that practice on your
sister's training bra is not gonna pay off.
1053
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:18,995
Please, Dwight. I spent a season
in Milan dating lingerie models.
1054
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:21,031
It was before I met you.
1055
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:22,798
(FANFARE PLAYING)
1056
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:25,115
Gentlemen, are we ready?
1057
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,879
Decline and fall, Dwight. Decline and fall.
1058
00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:31,272
Start unsnapping.
1059
00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:49,673
You know, I still hold
the record in this event.
1060
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:50,869
Hands of a surgeon.
1061
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:57,911
- ERIK: Oh, what's up with Edgar?
- Chick's got double Ds.
1062
00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:00,873
Squad clasps are really difficult to deal with.
1063
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:04,191
(EXCLAIMS ANGRILY)
1064
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:07,115
Done.
1065
00:59:07,240 --> 00:59:08,195
Done!
1066
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:09,309
(SCREAMS ANGRILY)
1067
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:10,475
I knew it!
1068
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:11,999
Betas win.
1069
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:16,993
DWIGHT: Yeah!
COOZE: Yeah!
1070
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:19,753
Hey, nice try, Edgar.
1071
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:23,677
Oh, sorry, sweetheart.
I guess I was just in the zone.
1072
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:26,759
You know, with a little more to work with,
I might have won.
1073
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:30,755
The next event is The Battle of Ares.
1074
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:35,554
Two men fighting to the death,
1075
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,831
or until one knocks the other into the water.
1076
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:43,632
MAN: Yeah! Ride that!
1077
00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:47,391
You guys are so done, Edgar.
Bull is an animal with this thing.
1078
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:49,954
Why don't you just save some face,
give me the deed to your place now.
1079
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:51,718
Not quite yet.
1080
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:51,960
You haven't met our new initiate, have you?
1081
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:54,679
You haven't met our new initiate, have you?
1082
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:04,678
His name is Dave Maul,
1083
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:07,109
and he is the number-one rated
light saberfighter
1084
01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:09,151
on the science fiction convention tour.
1085
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:10,793
Oh, he's a virgin.
1086
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:12,353
LEVENSTEIN: Are you ready, boys?
1087
01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:14,468
Joust!
1088
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:15,999
(ALL CHEERING)
1089
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:33,474
Oh, shit!
1090
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:41,397
MAN: Take him! Take him!
1091
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:44,193
Finish him.
1092
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:47,235
Go! Come on!
1093
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:50,439
(EXCLAIMING)
1094
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:51,879
(CHEERING)
1095
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,996
- Geeks win!
- I need a beer.
1096
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:59,711
The next event is called Demeter's Feast.
1097
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:03,071
Now, in ancient Rome,
the pig was considered sacred.
1098
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:06,909
And often sacrificed
to the goddess of agriculture.
1099
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:10,472
Today, we've taken a pig, greased it up,
1100
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:13,558
and the first one who catches it, wins.
1101
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:14,908
(GRUNTING)
1102
01:01:15,040 --> 01:01:16,632
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1103
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:19,518
Hey, you sure you're up for this pigging?
1104
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:22,438
Stifler, I grew up on a farm with 652 pigs,
1105
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:25,628
(WHISPERING)
I can tell what the pig is thinking.
1106
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:27,833
(SQUEALING)
1107
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:34,678
(ALL EXCLAIM)
1108
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:36,153
Silly, little, fat man.
1109
01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:38,999
Hey, Edgar, what's the deal with
Captain Sulu? He afraid to compete?
1110
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:41,156
You haven't heard of parkour, have you?
1111
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:42,872
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1112
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:48,190
What the...
1113
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:49,230
(BOBBY EXCLAIMS ANGRILY)
1114
01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:50,713
DWIGHT: Go! Go! Go! Go!
1115
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:56,753
(ALL CHEERING)
1116
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:13,110
Damn.
1117
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:29,035
(WHISPERING) Come here, pork chop.
1118
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:30,949
Geeks!
1119
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:55,479
(ALL CHEERING)
1120
01:02:58,080 --> 01:02:59,513
(PIG SQUEALING)
1121
01:03:00,520 --> 01:03:01,839
LEVENSTEIN: Geeks win!
1122
01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:05,998
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)
1123
01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:08,194
Shut up.
1124
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:13,394
Greek Roulette is a very dangerous game.
Not for the faint of heart.
1125
01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:17,838
One of these chambers contains a capsule
1126
01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:21,509
with aged horse semen.
1127
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:23,676
(EXCLAIMING DISGUSTEDLY)
1128
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:26,473
Gentlemen, let us begin.
1129
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:28,556
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
1130
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:41,236
(EXCLAIMING DISGUSTEDLY)
1131
01:03:42,120 --> 01:03:43,439
MAN 1: Disgusting.
MAN 2: Oh, come on.
1132
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:50,118
MAN: Come on, come on!
WOMAN: Come on, Dwight!
1133
01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:54,234
MAN: You're busted. Come on.
1134
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:56,237
- It's gonna be...
- MAN: We're not in it. Come on!
1135
01:03:58,200 --> 01:03:59,235
You know, I gotta hand it to you, Edgar.
1136
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:01,078
I really didn't think
you'd have the huevos for this.
1137
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:03,276
I thought you'd probably
recruit one of your lackeys.
1138
01:04:03,400 --> 01:04:07,598
I wouldn't miss watching you shoot
yourself full of horse semen for anything.
1139
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:10,475
MAN: Come on, man.
1140
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:12,318
Come on, Stifler!
1141
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:16,750
(GUN CLICKS)
1142
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:18,518
MAN 1: Yeah!
MAN 2: Yes!
1143
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:22,033
- We can do this! Yes, yes!
- MAN: Come on!
1144
01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:25,548
MAN: That's how we do.
1145
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:26,908
MAN: Oh, boy!
1146
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:29,470
- Come on! Come on!
- MAN: Edgar!
1147
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:33,398
Come on, baby. Eat it!
1148
01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:37,389
(EDGAR)
1149
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:38,839
(GUN CLICKS)
1150
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:41,874
Yeah!
1151
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:44,514
- Put two canisters in there!
- Two? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Two?
1152
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:46,392
That's too many, Dwight.
Come on, two? He's not worth it.
1153
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:50,229
Unless Edgar's afraid, put in two canisters.
1154
01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:51,952
Fine! Put in two!
1155
01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:55,119
Put in two.
1156
01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:00,749
Go!
1157
01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:02,035
MAN: Go!
1158
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:05,231
- MAN: Be a man, huh?
- Ready. Go!
1159
01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:08,756
MAN 1: Warm it up.
MAN 2: Hey! Hey! Hey!
1160
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:12,477
All right, all right! All right!
1161
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:15,194
- All right!
- Everyone quiet!
1162
01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:17,390
MAN: We're good? Back to the match.
1163
01:05:17,520 --> 01:05:18,669
MAN: You're good baby.
There's nothing in there.
1164
01:05:18,800 --> 01:05:19,869
MAN: Oh, no. I can't watch this.
1165
01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:22,514
(DWIGHT SCREAMING)
1166
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:23,629
(GUN CLICKS)
1167
01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:25,398
Yeah! Yeah!
1168
01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:27,988
- Yeah! Yes!
- ALL: Yeah!
1169
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:31,351
- Yes! Yes!
- MAN: All right! Yes! Yes!
1170
01:05:31,480 --> 01:05:32,959
You're up.
1171
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:35,189
Come on!
1172
01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:36,793
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
1173
01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:38,717
- Do it.
- Let's go.
1174
01:05:38,840 --> 01:05:41,513
MAN: Do it!
DWIGHT: Do it! Do it!
1175
01:05:41,640 --> 01:05:44,029
- Do it!
- MAN: Do it, now! Pull the fucking trigger.
1176
01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:48,278
- Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
- MAN: Pull the trigger.
1177
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:53,115
Oh.
1178
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:58,038
Yes! We won! Sucker!
1179
01:05:58,680 --> 01:06:00,113
Betas win.
1180
01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:03,198
- Enjoy Mister Ed's jizz.
- How does that semen taste, there?
1181
01:06:06,240 --> 01:06:08,549
Tough loss, there, Edgar,
but you know what they say, son.
1182
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:11,353
You've got to get right back
up on that horse.
1183
01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:12,435
So to speak.
1184
01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:13,959
(EDGAR CRYING)
1185
01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:16,432
(FANFARE PLAYING)
1186
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:21,639
The ancient game of the Wife Carry
has been around for centuries.
1187
01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:25,591
The first couple
to complete the course wins.
1188
01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:28,910
- You owe me big time for this.
- I know.
1189
01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:32,711
- Okay.
- MAN: All right. Ready?
1190
01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:40,038
(SCOFFS) How pathetic. Now!
1191
01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:44,715
What? What...
1192
01:06:44,840 --> 01:06:46,512
Really? You trying to give Bandhu a hernia?
1193
01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:49,598
Oh, once again your pathetic little brain
has let you down, Dwight.
1194
01:06:49,720 --> 01:06:51,073
Bandhu, up.
1195
01:06:55,600 --> 01:06:58,194
All right, Erik. We got this. Let's go.
1196
01:06:58,720 --> 01:07:00,233
We're fucked.
1197
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:02,238
(STARTING PISTOL FIRES)
1198
01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:04,555
Come on, Erik! Go, go, go!
1199
01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:06,272
We can beat those Betas.
1200
01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:10,394
How'd you feel about that...
1201
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:19,068
Come on! Come on!
1202
01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:32,195
Maybe I should have carried you.
1203
01:07:33,760 --> 01:07:36,035
Man, that is one scary chick.
1204
01:07:36,440 --> 01:07:37,475
That's a chick?
1205
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:38,630
MAN: Okay.
1206
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:43,753
And now, the Peloponnesian War.
1207
01:07:43,880 --> 01:07:47,080
The first team to consume
an entire keg wins.
1208
01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:47,114
The first team to consume
an entire keg wins.
1209
01:07:47,240 --> 01:07:49,037
Throwing up does not disqualify.
1210
01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:52,550
Gentlemen, inside this cylindrical
casing of aluminium,
1211
01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:55,717
lies 55 metric litres of malted alcohol.
1212
01:07:56,320 --> 01:07:58,470
Remember, fellas,
don't underestimate these Geeks.
1213
01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:00,556
Most of them are lonely problem drinkers,
all right?
1214
01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:03,433
Beware, gentlemen,
these men know how to drink,
1215
01:08:03,960 --> 01:08:05,712
but we are more than men.
1216
01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:07,592
We are more than men!
1217
01:08:07,720 --> 01:08:10,154
We, sirs, are Geeks!
1218
01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:12,396
- EDGAR: Yes!
- All right, boys. Battle!
1219
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:17,437
- Gentlemen, chug-a-lug!
- I can out-drink you fucks!
1220
01:08:20,440 --> 01:08:21,634
EDGAR: Drink!
1221
01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:29,313
Edgar!
1222
01:08:31,240 --> 01:08:32,798
I only have one thing to say to you.
1223
01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:34,876
What's that, you philistine?
1224
01:08:42,920 --> 01:08:45,434
Puking doesn't disqualify!
1225
01:08:46,440 --> 01:08:49,318
- Geeks, attack!
- DWIGHT: Boot and rally, boys!
1226
01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:58,792
Come on, Edgar.
Let's see what you got, bitch.
1227
01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:03,793
That's all you got, huh? That's all you got?
1228
01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:14,156
Go back to the keg!
1229
01:09:14,280 --> 01:09:16,157
We got a man down!
1230
01:09:16,280 --> 01:09:19,113
Gentlemen, we need to attain
maximum efficiency.
1231
01:09:19,480 --> 01:09:21,835
Attach the device!
1232
01:09:26,480 --> 01:09:28,550
- What the hell is that?
- What is that thing?
1233
01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:30,113
Open valves.
1234
01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:31,673
(WHOOSHING)
1235
01:09:31,800 --> 01:09:36,351
That's the Geeks taking the lead.
It's time for our secret weapon. Wesley!
1236
01:09:37,280 --> 01:09:39,555
- MAN: Let's go!
- Wesley, keg stand!
1237
01:09:45,400 --> 01:09:49,279
Open the valves all the way.
We need warp speed on this, motherfucker!
1238
01:09:49,400 --> 01:09:50,958
(ALL SCREAMING)
1239
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:53,910
- Yeah!
- Yeah! Yeah!
1240
01:09:54,040 --> 01:09:55,393
Betas win!
1241
01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:56,999
(ALL CHEERING)
1242
01:10:03,160 --> 01:10:07,073
With the Greek Olympiad tied,
we now go into sudden death.
1243
01:10:12,760 --> 01:10:16,799
The final event is called
The Rise of Aphrodite.
1244
01:10:17,560 --> 01:10:20,074
Quite simply, the first man
1245
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:26,475
who excretes his manly juices,
1246
01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:30,479
in the ejaculatory sense,
1247
01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:32,869
loses.
1248
01:10:34,400 --> 01:10:35,913
(ALL CHEERING)
1249
01:10:41,280 --> 01:10:43,430
I cannot wait to see you come in your pants.
1250
01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:44,949
Let's do this.
1251
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:58,270
Pi is equal to 3. 1415...
1252
01:10:58,400 --> 01:11:00,311
- No big deal at all.
- 5978...
1253
01:11:00,440 --> 01:11:02,795
I feel like Santa Claus
at the local shopping mall.
1254
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:06,790
(PANTING)
1255
01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:08,592
- That was nothing. I'm okay.
- That was nothing for me, either.
1256
01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:09,675
No big deal.
1257
01:11:09,800 --> 01:11:11,313
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1258
01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:13,512
MAN: Shake that thing.
1259
01:11:22,420 --> 01:11:24,775
- I like your boobs.
- BOBBY: Look at this.
1260
01:11:24,900 --> 01:11:27,494
Pretend you're sucking my man breast!
1261
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:29,391
Give it up, Stifler.
This is a game of mind over matter.
1262
01:11:29,520 --> 01:11:31,795
And my brain is way biggerthan yours.
1263
01:11:31,920 --> 01:11:33,319
I've got experience on my side.
1264
01:11:33,440 --> 01:11:36,955
I'll take that over
yourVulcan mind tricks any day.
1265
01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:39,435
We shall see. Bring her in!
1266
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:42,676
We flew this young lady in from Las Vegas.
1267
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:45,553
She's the number one stripper
in the Emerald City.
1268
01:11:45,680 --> 01:11:47,079
Enjoy, Dwight.
1269
01:11:50,160 --> 01:11:51,275
Oh, no!
1270
01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:53,999
Good luck.
1271
01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:00,156
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
1272
01:12:00,280 --> 01:12:02,589
I'm in trouble here, boys.
1273
01:12:02,720 --> 01:12:05,280
This chick is ridiculous. Bring her in!
1274
01:12:05,400 --> 01:12:07,630
Oh, God! Oh, God!
1275
01:12:11,080 --> 01:12:12,433
(BLEATING)
1276
01:12:15,520 --> 01:12:16,475
(BLEATING)
1277
01:12:16,600 --> 01:12:18,079
What the fuck?
1278
01:12:19,200 --> 01:12:20,679
(MOANING)
1279
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,955
Look at my tail, Edgar.
1280
01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:25,911
Look how fluffy it is.
1281
01:12:27,520 --> 01:12:29,112
Somebody make her stop.
1282
01:12:29,240 --> 01:12:31,515
Edgar, you got a little wool fetish, buddy?
1283
01:12:31,640 --> 01:12:34,871
No! Make her stop!
1284
01:12:36,320 --> 01:12:37,878
(MARGIE BLEATING)
1285
01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:39,628
(CRYING)
1286
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:43,034
He's done.
1287
01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:52,194
Betas win.
1288
01:12:55,600 --> 01:13:00,469
ALL: Beta! Beta! Beta! Beta! Beta! Beta!
1289
01:13:09,640 --> 01:13:14,395
To the winners,
I now present the Golden Hammer!
1290
01:13:14,960 --> 01:13:16,552
To Beta House!
1291
01:13:16,680 --> 01:13:18,079
(ALL CHEERING)
1292
01:13:18,200 --> 01:13:19,349
Beta, baby!
1293
01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:22,995
Congratulations, Stifler.
You've kept the Beta traditions alive.
1294
01:13:23,120 --> 01:13:26,192
- Thanks, Noah. Betas for life.
- Betas for life.
1295
01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:36,751
Now this is a frat party.
1296
01:13:36,880 --> 01:13:39,189
No. This is a Beta party.
1297
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:42,955
(RAPPING)
1298
01:14:00,680 --> 01:14:04,036
- Hey, I got a little surprise for you.
- Yeah?
1299
01:14:06,320 --> 01:14:09,437
A little present for you being
so patient and understanding.
1300
01:14:09,960 --> 01:14:11,075
Okay.
1301
01:14:11,640 --> 01:14:14,996
- Are you ready for your present?
- (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) I'm not sure.
1302
01:14:15,840 --> 01:14:19,833
I'm really confused right now,
and I'm trying to keep an open mind but...
1303
01:14:19,960 --> 01:14:23,589
Oh, man this is fucked up even for me.
1304
01:14:23,720 --> 01:14:25,278
DENISE: Here it comes.
1305
01:14:25,440 --> 01:14:28,318
Oh, my God. If it's biggerthan mine,
I swear, I'm gonna pass out.
1306
01:14:28,440 --> 01:14:30,556
(GIGGLING) I'm not wearing any panties.
1307
01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:34,560
Easy, Cooze. Everybody can see you.
1308
01:14:34,680 --> 01:14:37,558
Well, I'm sure we can find some place
around here with a little privacy.
1309
01:14:37,680 --> 01:14:39,511
- Okay.
- Let's go.
1310
01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:41,910
Come on.
1311
01:14:45,320 --> 01:14:48,995
- Where are you taking me?
- It's a surprise. You're gonna like it.
1312
01:14:58,920 --> 01:15:00,239
I'm nervous.
1313
01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:04,031
What are you talking about?
Everything's gonna be fine.
1314
01:15:04,160 --> 01:15:05,878
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
1315
01:15:12,680 --> 01:15:16,309
Why don't I take care of you.
1316
01:15:18,840 --> 01:15:20,159
Okay.
1317
01:15:21,360 --> 01:15:22,509
Okay.
1318
01:15:33,880 --> 01:15:35,029
Oh, my.
1319
01:15:36,840 --> 01:15:38,068
(PANTING)
1320
01:15:38,200 --> 01:15:40,430
I can't! I can't!
1321
01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:42,073
Look, just let yourself go, baby.
1322
01:15:42,200 --> 01:15:45,112
There's nothing you can do
that's gonna surprise me. Okay?
1323
01:15:45,240 --> 01:15:46,832
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
1324
01:15:47,640 --> 01:15:48,755
Okay!
1325
01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:52,439
(BOTH GIGGLING)
1326
01:15:52,560 --> 01:15:54,198
Why are you bringing me in here?
1327
01:15:54,320 --> 01:15:56,311
Well, this being our new house,
1328
01:15:56,440 --> 01:15:59,955
I thought I'd come up with my own task
forthe pledge board.
1329
01:16:00,200 --> 01:16:02,509
Okay. What's that gonna be?
1330
01:16:02,640 --> 01:16:03,675
(ERIK CLEARING THROAT)
1331
01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:06,155
Well, I think it's kind of better if I...
1332
01:16:06,280 --> 01:16:07,793
If I show you.
1333
01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:14,155
ASHLEY: Hmm.
1334
01:16:14,280 --> 01:16:16,271
Sex in a movie theatre.
1335
01:16:16,400 --> 01:16:18,994
I like the way you think, Erik Stifler.
1336
01:16:26,160 --> 01:16:27,718
(MOANING)
1337
01:16:31,400 --> 01:16:33,152
(MOANING LOUDER)
1338
01:16:34,440 --> 01:16:36,908
I'm coming! I'm coming!
1339
01:16:37,040 --> 01:16:38,598
I'm coming!
1340
01:16:39,080 --> 01:16:40,399
(SPLASHING)
1341
01:16:40,520 --> 01:16:41,669
Oh, my...
1342
01:16:45,320 --> 01:16:47,675
Okay. I was a little surprised by that.
1343
01:16:47,800 --> 01:16:49,074
I'm sorry.
1344
01:16:49,800 --> 01:16:51,199
It's okay.
1345
01:16:53,800 --> 01:16:56,951
- It was actually really sexy.
- Really?
1346
01:16:57,080 --> 01:16:59,389
Yeah. Can you do that every time?
1347
01:17:00,440 --> 01:17:02,749
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah?
1348
01:17:02,880 --> 01:17:04,154
Oh, my God.
1349
01:17:14,440 --> 01:17:17,193
- Hey, buddy, take a little dip in the pool?
- Nope.
1350
01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:18,992
Oh, wait a minute.
1351
01:17:21,080 --> 01:17:24,231
Yes. The elusive female ejaculation.
1352
01:17:24,680 --> 01:17:26,636
Not a lot of girls can do that. Congrats.
1353
01:17:26,760 --> 01:17:28,159
(SINGING)
1354
01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:48,799
(BULL LAUGHING)
1355
01:17:48,920 --> 01:17:50,876
Beta House fucking rules!
1356
01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:52,228
(CHEERING)
1357
01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:48,355
(LAUGHING)
1358
01:18:48,480 --> 01:18:49,674
Yes!
1359
01:18:51,640 --> 01:18:52,959
(TOILET FLUSHING)
1360
01:18:58,520 --> 01:18:59,999
Hey, big boy,
1361
01:19:00,760 --> 01:19:03,558
ready to fill me up with some more protein?
1362
01:19:04,880 --> 01:19:07,314
No, no, no. No!
1363
01:19:11,640 --> 01:19:14,313
Yes, the Blackout Menace strikes again.
1364
01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:04,995
(POP MUSIC PLAYING
THROUGH SPEAKERS)
1365
01:24:12,400 --> 01:24:14,755
Wear this for your next dance, honey.
1366
01:24:14,880 --> 01:24:15,995
Thanks.
1367
01:24:15,996 --> 01:24:35,996
American Pie 6 Beta House.[2007].RETAIL.DVDRIP.XVID.[Eng]-DUQA
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