All language subtitles for Leaving.Neverland.2019.E02.720p.WEB-DL.x264.AC3-RPG

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I never told anyone

about any of the sexual
stuff that went on.

I felt special.

I was this boy from the
other side of the world

and Michael chose me.

Yeah, there's no question
I was like head over heels

in love with Michael.

And he said he loved me.

What's your name?
My name's Wade.

His name's Wade.
How old are you Wade?

Ten.
Ten years old.

A real momentum had
started behind my career

in the dance world,
starting to do music videos,

commercials,
and acting in TV shows.

Go on, Wade!
Show what else you can do!

A lot of it became
about impressing Michael.

Hopefully make him happy
and make him impressed,

and, you know,
get that stamp of approval.

Yeah, Wade!

Give Wade a hand!

Yeah!

There was a kind of
mass sleepover at Neverland.

I would've been about 11.

And it was Jordy,

Jordan Chandler,

Macaulay Culkin,

and myself.

Jordy was the new kid,

the new boy, and the one who was

super close with Michael.

Michael and Jordy
would disappear a lot.

And I remember this
particular moment when...

all of us kids
and Michael were...

were hanging out in Michael's
bedroom in Neverland.

All of a sudden,
Michael and Jordy were gone.

They had gone in
one of his bathrooms,

and the door was closed.

You know, I used to be

the boy who was in there
with Michael.

You know, I just knew
in my gut that...

that's what they were doing
when they were disappearing.

They were doing all of
that same sexual stuff.

Good morning, everyone.
Michael Jackson is at the center

of a criminal investigation
in Los Angeles.

One report talks
of child abuse charges.

Official reports
obtained by NBC News

detail the allegations
against Jackson,

made by a 13-year-old boy.

He told a case worker that
a four-month-long relationship

with Jackson began with
the singer hugging him,

and ended with various sex acts.

When pop star Michael Jackson
dropped out of sight two weeks ago,

there was much speculation that he was trying
to duck child molestation allegations.

Jackson's people claim the
charges are part of an extortion plot.

They claim that Michael is more
of a victim than a suspect.

He loved children. He
missed out on his childhood.

He just enjoyed
being with children.

I can hear him saying to me,

"I would never hurt a child."

He would cry.

"I could never hurt a child,"

and he would break into tears.

Very convincing.

You know, I'd been told
that Wade was sleeping,

doing sleepovers with Michael,
and sleeping in his bed.

And then you hear stories of,
you know,

someone accusing him
of molesting a child,

and I'm, like, holy crap, is...

Is that what's happening
with my brother?

The next big thing I remember

was two cops
showing up at my door.

They said that
Michael had been charged

with child abuse.

I said to Wade, you know,

"You've done nothing wrong.
You can tell us.

It's not your fault,
you've done nothing wrong."

Wade was very stoic.

But this was...

you know, terrifying
right from the get.

This is the first time that...

anyone ever...

directly asked me, you know,

did Michael Jackson
ever touch you sexually

or anything like that?

Without flinching,

without batting an eyelash,

you know, my answer was no.

No way.
Absolutely not.

You know, did this...
Did he ever touch you here?

Did this sort of thing
ever happen? Did he ever

show you...
any pornography?

All of those sorts of
questions, you know.

Over and over again,
without flinching,

my answer was no,
absolutely not. Never.

Obviously, as a mother,

when these allegations
were brought to us,

the first thing when I get Wade

by himself,
I said to him, "Okay.

"So, as your mother,
I need to ask you,

has Michael ever done anything
inappropriate with you?"

And he was so convincing.

"Absolutely not.

"He has never ever
done anything. Never."

You know, as soon as the cop
started asking me these questions,

the first thing that
came to mind for me was

everything that Michael started
saying to me when I was seven.

You know, if anyone
ever found out that...

we were doing any of these sort
of things, these sexual things,

that he and I would go to jail
for the rest of our lives.

It was terrifying.

Why is Michael Jackson,

an adult,

repeatedly

sleeping in the same bed

with a young boy?

It is important to note

that children everywhere

are watching

to see how this child,

who has been brave
enough to come forward,

to make his allegations

will be treated.

They may be fearful

about what will happen to them

if they come forward

to make a charge
against a celebrity,

or against a powerful person.

There have
been many disgusting statements

made recently
concerning allegations

of improper conduct on my part.

These statements about
me are totally false.

They served
a search warrant on me,

which allowed them to view
and photograph my body,

including my penis,

my buttocks, my lower torso,

thighs, and any other area
that they wanted.

It brings tears to my eyes

when I see any
child who suffers.

I am not guilty
of these allegations,

but if I am guilty of anything,

it is of giving
all that I have...

All that I have to give

to help children
all over the world.

It is of loving children
of all ages and races.

It is of gaining sheer joy

from seeing children with their
innocent and smiling faces.

To my friends and fans,

thank you very much
for all of your support.

Together, we will see this
through to the very end.

I love you very much,

and may God bless you all.

I love you. Goodbye.

He had been,

I think, a little absent

from my life.

And then, he's back in it

'cause he needs
you for something.

He needs you to testify.

So honestly,
you're happy that he's back.

You're kind of just excited
that he's talking to you again.

First heard it on the news.

Totally shocked.

I told my husband,
"We need to talk to Jimmy."

He said Michael
did not touch him.

"Are you all all right?
Did anything happen to you?"

"No, Mom."

It was like,
"No, Mom," like that.

It would go for months without
talking, or seeing each other.

Now all of a sudden, once...

this Jordy case kind of
exploded in the press...

every day, he would call.

Electronic
Friday, 3:12 p.m.

Gabby!

It's Apple Head.
Um, I was wondering maybe...

Sometime tomorrow
night, we could see a movie.

It'd be really nice.

So, I'll call you tomorrow.

I'll sleep in tomorrow,

and then maybe we can
do something. Thank you!

Goodbye.

Bye, Little One.

After these phone calls had been
going on for a while, there were...

I mean, you know,
really similar, each one,

and just the same
sort of talk, and...

I mean, what I understand now
as coaching sessions, you know.

I went in to meet his lawyers
for, like, a rehearsal.

They gave me... They did,
like, a mock interview.

You know, kind of role-playing

a policeman or lawyer and...

You know, "We know you guys
have done this. We have photos.

So, just tell us...
Just tell us about it."

That... That's like a ploy.
Like, they don't know,

they don't have photos,
just tell them no.

That's, like, the golden rule.

You know, just don't tell them,

and they don't actually know,
or they can't prove it.

It was reported
in Vanity Fair that,

that Michael convinced
his 13-year-old mother...

The mother of his 13-year-old
accuser to allow...

To allow him to move in

with them in the same house,
and that for three months,

he slept in the same bed
with this 13-year-old boy.

I mean, at best,
would you describe

Michael Jackson's behavior

as just extremely weird?

Well, I wouldn't accept what
I read in Vanity Fair, Katie,

and that's one of the things I'd
like to talk about at some point.

But, let me say this. I think
when the facts come out,

that you'll find out
that Michael Jackson

loves children, and he loves
them in a very, very proper way.

You know, very much said...

He used the... "They want
fame and money" card.

Like, that was... So, kind of what
he... he pitched to everybody.

Um, so, that's
what he told my parents,

and they believed him.

And I said to Michael,

why is this boy
doing this to you?

And he said, "Oh, it's
not him. It's his father.

His father wants money."

I asked if he was
angry with the boy.

He said, "No,
I'm not angry with him."

And I thought, what a good man.

What a good man Michael is.

He's not even mad at the child.

Thank you.

Jackson likes to surround
himself with young children,

and some of them have been
speaking out on his behalf.

Last night, this girl,
who says she and her brother

have spent lots of time
with Jackson,

talked to station
KNBC in Los Angeles,

denouncing the allegations
of child molestation.

I think it's sick, personally,

because Michael
loves little kids.

You know, I've known Michael
since I was 10. Mm-hmm.

He's never done anything to me.

He's never done
anything to my brother.

I loved this man.
I trusted him.

I didn't think he would
ever do anything.

You know that he's famous
and people could do this,

and people could be after
money and stuff like that.

So, that wasn't hard to believe.

Joy Robson said
she did not believe

Jackson would molest anyone.

You just develop that trust
with him immediately.

He's just a very special person.

Because we were so close
with Michael, obviously...

I wanted to believe that.

But more than anything,
I believed my son.

I believed that
he would've told me

had something happened.

Sources tell CNN, authorities
may attempt to bring Wade

before the grand juror.

I was excited by the idea
of being able to defend him,

and being able to save him.

Yeah, you know,
there's been different times

where it'd just
be me and Michael.

Then there'd be other times

where he has other
friends over, too.

It's just... a slumber party.
We just have a lot of fun.

I've been there when these kids
have been in Michael's room.

I've been there with them.
It's just party time.

They watch videos.
They eat junk food.

They play video games.

They play so hard,
they fall asleep.

They're exhausted.
They fall asleep.

There's nothing more
to it than that.

From your standpoint,
does it seem unusual

for a 34-year-old man
to have kids sleeping over?

Not when you know
Michael's background.

Under normal circumstances,
possibly, yes.

But Michael, everybody knows
he didn't have a childhood.

Soon, it will be Jackson's
turn himself to respond to questions.

The teen said that when they traveled
together to Monaco last May, quote,

"That's when the whole thing
really got out of hand.

"He then masturbated me
to climax. After that,

"Michael Jackson
masturbated me many times

both with his hand
and with his mouth."

Among the documents filed
with the court were excerpts

of depositions by several
former Jackson employees,

including Jackson's chauffeur,
who said he dropped

the entertainer off
at the boy's house

on overnight visits
30 days in a row.

Also included was a deposition

of former Jackson maid,
Blanca Francia,

who claims that at
Jackson's Neverland Ranch,

he has a closet within a closet

in which he kept pictures
and videotapes of children.

She also claims
to have seen Jackson naked

with young boys
on several occasions.

Jackson publicly denied
the allegations last week

at the NAACP Image Awards
in Pasadena.

Everyone is presumed to be
innocent, and totally innocent,

until they are
charged with a crime,

and then convicted
by a jury of their peers.

He asked me to testify.

There was like a pretrial,
so I went to court.

I remember going
in there, and...

being very... robotic.

I mean, I had, like I said,
rehearsed it so much,

that it was just going
through the motions.

They asked, and, you know,
I said no, of course.

Just like part of my job...

to, you know,
to do that for Michael.

He's a very, very nice,
kind person.

He wouldn't hurt anybody.

He doesn't have
a mean bone in his body.

Like, I knew it was true...

but I couldn't let
myself go there,

and it was just like Jordy...

was the enemy.

Michael...
told me that I had to lie.

And that's what I did.

I lied.

I know Michael very well.

I know he wouldn't do
anything like that.

Has he ever tried
to do anything with you

that would even be
considered questionable?

No, nothing.

Nothing at all.
Has never touched you?

Mm-mm.
Have you ever seen Michael naked?

No.

There's a stunning development
in the Michael Jackson story.

NBC News has confirmed
that lawyers for the entertainer

accused of sexually molesting
a 14-year-old boy

are now seeking an out-of-court
settlement in that case,

and that lawyers for both sides

are actively
negotiating an agreement

which could be announced
as soon as tomorrow.

Jackson reportedly
is prepared to pay

at least $10 million
to settle this case.

I don't have any...

guilt about... not being able
to tell the truth.

I had no choice but to say what I did
in that deposition when I was 11.

That was what I had to say.

We wish to jointly announce

a mutual resolution
of this lawsuit.

The resolution of this case

is in no way

an admission of guilt
by Michael Jackson.

Then, when they
settled out of court,

I asked him why he did that,

and he said, "My attorney said

"it would cost me more
money to fight it,

so it was better
for me to settle it."

The accuser settled the
civil lawsuit against Jackson,

reportedly for between
five and 25 million dollars.

Then they took that money.

People said to me that
just proves he's guilty.

And I would say no.

That to me proves that all it
was about all along was money.

How much money
would make it okay

for your child to be abused?
Ten million? No.

Twenty million? Oh, maybe.

I said, "To me, no amount of
money would make that okay."

If I thought
that he had touched my son,

I would not stop
till he was behind bars.

We wanted to buy another house,

and Michael gave us a loan
at a very low percentage rate.

My husband had already
had a deposition.

We were on Michael's camp.

My son also for Michael.

And after that was
all said and done

is when Michael
forgave the debt.

Michael said, "No, I don't
want you to pay me anymore,"

um, "It's a gift."

So, he did buy us a house.

It's just coincidental,
he wasn't buying us off,

but the timing's right there.

Just sounds bad.

Yeah.

My mom and I went to Neverland

soon after that for a few days.

You know, same sort of...
physical scenario happened,

meaning Mom stayed in one of the
rooms upstairs at Neverland, and...

and I went into Michael's room,
and into Michael's bed, and...

and the same sexual stuff
all happened again.

First hearing that, you know,
that he wanted to see me,

that he wanted me
to come there felt so good.

I'm back, like,
we're coming back together.

Michael! Michael! Michael!

Michael!

He would just call
every once in a while.

He gave me a car
when I turned 16.

I was very much into filmmaking,

and I was doing
my filmmaking classes,

and Michael tells you that,
"You don't need school.

"Nobody who ever did
anything good goes to school."

So, he'd say, "You don't need it.
All you need is me."

He very much said, you know, "You're
gonna be like a little Spielberg."

Michael would fund
these short films,

and I made those
all throughout high school.

And I made a 35mm
short film at Neverland.

And he talked to my parents

'cause I was in some
of the advanced classes,

and he said,
"You don't need math."

So, he convinced my parents
to pull me out of the classes,

so that I can kind of don't
have to worry about studying,

and just focus on filmmaking.

And he would... he'd tell them,
"Don't worry. I'll be there."

He very much is, like,
making you depend on him.

Like, "Don't go get
an education.

Just... I'll take care of it."

And then when he went away,
it just kind of derailed,

and I was pretty lost.

Well, it was apparently
more than just a rumor.

Press agents have now
confirmed that Michael Jackson

and Lisa Marie Presley
are husband and wife.

The two say they
denied their marriage for months

in an attempt to avoid
the glare of the media.

Mrs. Presley-Jackson
issues a statement

saying she's very much
in love with Michael

and looks forward
to raising a family.

I remember Michael saying to me

that he's gonna have to...

have these public
relationships with women,

so that people don't
think anything.

He would always say
he's gonna get married.

He said he'd have to go
get married at some point,

but that it wouldn't
mean anything.

So one day, I got
a phone call from Michael.

He said, "Stephanie,
I'm not gonna be able

to come over as often."

It was a short phone call.

Hung up, went to my husband and
said, "We've just been dumped."

Yeah, it was an emptiness.
I loved him.

He was one of my children,
so it was a...

a child leaving the home.

That's how it felt.

Again, I was
seeing less of Michael.

Still talking to him but less.

Two to three times a year.

Still, every time that
I was physically with him

and stayed the night
with him anywhere,

the same sexual stuff happened.

My dance world was
kind of really building,

and moving towards me
being a choreographer.

The dance studio that I had
been going to for years,

I came to them
and said I wanna teach.

They gave me a shot,

substituting for other teachers.

They gave me my own class
and really quickly,

that class became
massive, packed.

Michael was preparing

for his History world tour.

I was...
brought by Michael's driver

to the dance studio,
where Michael was rehearsing,

for me to be able to watch rehearsal
a little bit and hang out.

And that night, he took me back,

with Michael back to the hotel.

And so, I'm 14
at this point, and...

I've had a major growth spurt.

I'm probably...

five-eleven.

So, the same
or taller than Michael.

Just a whole different
physical vibe.

And at some point in the night,

you know, we slip
back into the routine,

the same sort of sexual stuff.

And I don't remember how
exactly it evolved to this,

how it moved to this next stage,

but what ended up
happening is...

Michael, uh, tried to...

penetrate me, um,
in my anus, with his penis.

You know, trying for a while,

and, I guess, was able to a bit,

but it was really painful.

And too painful for me,

so, so he stopped.

Yeah, I don't remember us, like,

talking about it
or anything like that, or...

acting like...

anything particularly different
had happened.

I think after that,

after it wasn't working,
after it was too painful for me,

we kind of went back
to our regular sexual routine.

The next morning,

Michael had like a recording
session to prepare for.

He handed me
some new, like, camera

that he had gotten,
that I could play with.

I was dropped off by his driver,

um, back to my condo
in Hollywood.

And then, that afternoon,

my mother receives a phone call

from Michael's
personal secretary

that Michael...

wants to see Wade right away.

I think I was picked up
again by Michael's driver,

and brought to the dance studio

where he was back in rehearsals.

Right away,
he just went right into it.

He was kind of
super nervous and said,

"What did you do with your
underwear from last night?"

I said, "I don't know. I...

"I don't know. I took
them off and, you know,

showered and put new ones on."

He said, "You gotta go home
and find them.'

"And I don't... you know...

"I don't know
if there's any, um,

"There might be
some blood on them.

If there is, you gotta
get rid of them."

How long does it
take for you to get home?

Got back in the car and he
drove me back to the condo, and...

luckily, not luckily, you know,
I guess my mother hadn't...

found them, hadn't tried to
clean them or anything yet.

I found the underwear,
and there was

some drops of blood
on the inside.

Your blood?
My blood.

I... grabbed them, sort
of stuffed them in my pocket,

down into the garage,

and threw them in the bin.

That was the last...

sexual experience
that I remember with Michael.

Excuse me!

Wedding bells have
rung again for Michael Jackson.

The superstar is on a working
honeymoon this morning,

with his new bride in Australia.

It's the first leg
of his History world tour,

and Michael Jackson is
mixing music with marriage

in Sydney, Australia.

The Gloved One giving his hand

to longtime friend, Debbie Rowe,

who also happens to be six
months pregnant with his baby.

Somewhere in 2001 or 2002,

I think some desire started

building in me to, uh,

want to try and connect
with Dad more.

And we had a couple
of phone conversations

when he was still in Australia.

He told me some stories
of his life and...

and, I don't know, it felt like
the beginning of something.

I had moved from
Brisbane to the Gold Coast.

He was living down the coast,

so I was seeing him
a little bit more often.

We would meet
and, like, go to a pub

and play some pool and talk.

I don't know if he was
even working at that point.

You know, he didn't really
have any much money.

You know, I think he was
probably just living on,

you know, like the government
kind of handout.

He'd kind of gone downhill.

I would see my
dad usually about...

maybe every two years.

And his mental
and emotional state

just really continued
to degrade over the years.

He was diagnosed
with bipolar disorder.

He was doing things like
disappearing in the night and,

and going on walks
through the city, through LA.

And catching buses,
and, and we'd have to find him.

You know, I think
it kind of scared

Wade a little bit, and...

and Chantal, which didn't help
their relationship at all.

I mean, I think it terrified me,

but my reaction to it

was just to get angry.

And like, I just
wanted him to go.

Should we go on, continue?

Wade really pushed my dad away.

He didn't understand
why he had to...

to understand him 'cause
he didn't even know him really.

You know, didn't feel that he
needed this person in his life.

We talked a lot, and at
some point, he said to me,

"Don't you ever let
anybody tell you

that you did the wrong thing."

He said, "You did
the right thing for Wade,

and it was the right
thing for me."

He said, "I learned to stand
on my own two feet.

"I was so dependent on you,

"and I had to learn
to live without you,

and stand on my own
two feet." So, he did...

he did rise above it
for a while.

It's only when
Shane left that, um...

he couldn't cope anymore.

At that point, I didn't
know if I was leaving for good.

I said,
"I'm taking six months off

to go and hang out
with the family."

The day that I left,

my grandparents,
his mom and dad, and Dad,

came over to say goodbye
before I headed to the airport.

And I remember Dad
didn't say a word.

Not... just, nothing at all.
He was just...

kind of like a statue.

Kind of just staring off
in the distance and, um...

and then I remember, like,

saying goodbye
and giving him a hug,

and I don't... I don't
even think he hugged me.

I think he just stood
there while I hugged him.

He was just, you know, like...

you know, the lights were on,
but no one was home.

I feel like I'd been
here for a day, maybe.

Mom was driving
around in the car.

I get a phone call,
and it was...

like, my girlfriend at the time,

from Australia.

And she was
a police officer as well.

And she called me and said, uh,

You know, "Sorry, Shane,
but your dad's dead."

The day that he left,
his father hung himself.

I think my response was
just anger, at first.

"You asshole." Basically,
I was kind of pissed off.

He had hung himself...
in his apartment.

His mom and dad found him.

I was... in a recording session.

I was writing and producing
some music for a pop group.

Got out of the recording
session, went to my car,

and I had all these kind of
missed calls from my mother.

She told me...

"Your dad died."

I brought all the children in...

Home for the night,
and we stayed up all night,

and we laughed and we cried
and we laughed and we cried.

But then, from...

I think, the next day...

I don't know, I felt like
I just started

...stitching myself up
again already.

One, two, three, four.

I mean, after the funeral
was done, and we went back

to Los Angeles,

I just went back to
the business of moving on,

and getting back to work.

♪ And I see what's
really going on ♪

At 17, with 'NSYNC,
I directed what I think,

at the time, was
considered the largest tour,

I mean, just in scale, the size
that had ever happened.

♪ Baby, you're not
the only one ♪

You might not have heard of
Wade Robson, but right now,

he's one of the biggest
names in world music.

The Queensland-born 19-year-old

has found fame and fortune

as the most sought-after
hit-maker in America.

The creative force behind
pop star Britney Spears

and boy band 'NSYNC.

At 16, after the
family had moved to LA,

he started choreographing
Britney Spears.

She was so impressed, she asked
him to take creative control

of every facet of her worldwide

Dream Within A Dream tour.

She works real hard,
so that's important.

And I'm a workaholic,
and a slave driver, you know.

But she's willing to put in
the work, so that's always...

that always helps. Um...

You're probably every
guy's hero, you know that?

I guess so.

Thank you so much, Little Rock.

You've been such
a wonderful audience!

Michael had some sort
of obsession with Britney.

And he would call me,
and he'd wanna know,

um, you know, what it was
like working with her,

and what she was like, and, uh,

"Isn't she sexy?
Isn't she beautiful?"

One and two and three and...

Wondering if I can set up,
like, a way for them to meet.

And in those conversations,
as well, Michael was really...

interested in my...
sexual life with girls.

I remember that being
just really weird,

considering Michael
and I's whole sexual history.

It was a weird pull 'cause
while at the same time,

I mean, I still...
loved him deeply.

Maybe one day,
I was gonna be the friend

for him that he could have
a real, honest,

vulnerable conversation with.

The one person that he could
really be real with.

My name is Laura Primack,
and I am James's wife.

I grew up in the suburbs
outside of Chicago.

I went to college
on the East Coast.

I went to an art school
in Rhode Island, and...

afterwards, I thought,
before I settle back home,

I should try the other coast.

There was a dive bar very close
to my apartment in Hollywood.

And I would go there on
almost a nightly basis.

One night, a girlfriend
of mine said

she wanted to go there
'cause she had a crush

on a guy in the band,
which was actually James.

He was in a band called Skylab.

The singer was British,

and the music was kind of
like Smashing Pumpkins

or Radiohead and, um,

they were really fun to watch.

They were really
good performers.

So, I went to the bar
to meet her,

and she ended up
falling ill, didn't come.

So, when James's band was up
at the bar, buying drinks,

I decided to go up
and introduce myself.

I mean, he looked the part.
He looked awesome,

but the first thing he said
when I told him I was there

to see him 'cause my friend
thought he was cute was,

"I don't think you're
talking about me."

He seemed so wholeheartedly

modest and humble and...
It just caught me off guard

'cause that's not what I had
experienced in Los Angeles so far.

She was really sweet,

and, um, she's very upbeat.

She just turned out
to be a great person,

so I got lucky.

I think the first night
that I went to his house,

um, it was late at night.

He probably had a band practice,
so maybe I got there at 11:00,

but he had candies
on the side of the bed,

and an intention that we were
gonna watch Harry Potter.

I mean, that was his, like, "Come on
over we'll have a date night thing."

And I thought the fact that he had
just bought me candies was adorable.

So, I think we moved
in together about

six months after
we'd started dating.

I think right around
that time, too,

James had been taking art
classes at a local art school

and doing his homework
in our office.

And at that point, we were
growing, we needed more help,

and our owner said, "Why don't
come in and work with us?"

So, we went from dating,
to living together,

to living together
and working together,

so it got very
intense very quick

when you combine
all those things.

It was a pretty
traditional start.

That's not to say that, um,

there weren't ups and downs,
but from my perspective,

they were the kinds of ups and
downs that most relationships had.

Secrets will eat you up.

It sucks life out of you,

just deteriorates
you from the inside.

Like a part of you is dead.

It kind of took everything I had

to function during the day,

to let other people see me
as a functioning person.

So, it took a lot
of effort to...

to keep it together.

And then, I would go home
and... and be a wreck.

And it was hard... I'm sure
it was hard on my wife.

You know, James had a lot of...
personality quirks.

You know, he'd go through

bouts where he just wanted
to stay in bed all weekend

and watch TV, or, um...

you know, be a little bit
more antisocial.

But, for me, especially 'cause I
know that I am a people person, I...

A lot of these things, I just
assumed were what it's like

when you're not a people person.

I loved it. I mean,
from my perspective,

"Oh, let's stay in
and cuddle and watch movies,

and be in the dark and never
leave the house."

And then, you know, maybe after
the first year, I was like,

"Well, should we just go to Target and get
groceries, or do something?"

Later on, as it didn't
really go away, it...

You know, it could get a little
bit more boring or confusing.

I couldn't sleep, and...

I would have just
panic attacks about

things that shouldn't give
me panic attacks, and...

One of the weird things is not
liking yourself and not knowing why.

Like, I didn't know why
I had these problems

or felt these ways.

Constant anxiety and...

and then depression and...

not knowing why
you're like that.

When I was in my early 20s,
I did a lot of...

substances to help deal with it.

At the time, I didn't know
that that's what I was doing.

But then, when I got
off the substances,

and there was
nothing to mask it,

was when I was...

really noticed
that I was anxious all the time.

How the
hell did you get up there?

Oh, baby.

It's pretty.

My name is Amanda Robson,
and I am Wade's wife.

Wade and I met at a nightclub,

and I was working
as a promoter there.

My girlfriend and I
were just like totally

playing around
on the dance floor,

dancing very goofy.

And Wade and his friends,

kind of like, jokingly

called us out to do
like a little battle,

which I didn't know
who Wade was at the time.

This huge crowd

began to form around us,

and then Wade and his
friends went into this

full-on choreographed routine

and made us look
really ridiculous.

My girlfriend that
I was at the club with

was like, "Do you know
who that is? That's

Wade Robson,
'NSYNC's choreographer,"

and, you know,
thought it was very cool.

And I thought he was
a total asshole.

He was 19,

and I was 22.

On our first date,

I remember him, um,

you know, mentioning
Michael Jackson was

a huge part of why
they came over from Australia,

and that Michael was his

teacher and role model.

It was like, wow,
that sounds really intense.

That's what it
sounded like to me.

I had really started
a whole new aspect

of my adult life with Amanda.

She'd, you know, been
this incredible breath

of fresh air to me.

And her perspective on life,

what life meant to her, what
relationships meant to her

was just so clear.

Good afternoon.
I'm Ken Shemwell,

undersheriff,
Santa Barbara County.

In June of 2003,

the Santa Barbara County
Sheriff's Department

received information
that a 13-year-old boy

was a possible
victim of lewd acts.

The allegation claimed that
entertainer Michael Jackson

had engaged in these
activities with the victim

while a guest
at the Neverland Ranch.

Is the manager here?

Manager?
Manager.

I'm gonna get a uniform for you.
Okay.

We got, uh...

This morning, investigators

effected the service
of a search warrant

as a part of an investigation.

An arrest warrant for
Mr. Jackson has been issued

on multiple counts
of child molestation.

Boom, there's these
new allegations.

And all of this
craziness unfolds,

I mean, that I see via the news.

Good day, everyone.
Pop star Michael Jackson

is now under arrest, and,
at this hour, is in the custody

of a Santa Barbara, California
Sheriff's department.

Michael in handcuffs was,
uh, painful to see.

When Michael
Jackson was arrested,

his mugshot was taken,
he was fingerprinted,

he gave up his passport,

and he was released
on $3 million bond.

His lawyer called the charges that could send
Jackson away to prison for years a big lie.

If anybody doesn't think,

based upon what's
happened so far,

that the true motivation

of these charges
and these allegations

is anything but money,
and the seeking of money,

then they're living
in their own Neverland.

Jackson faces
nine charges total,

seven for committing a lewd
act on a child under 14,

and two for giving the child

an intoxicating agent
for the purpose of molestation.

We will land on you
like a ton of bricks.

We will land on you
like a hammer.

If you do anything

to besmirch
this man's reputation,

we will unleash a legal torrent
like you've never seen.

We will demand...

Michael called,

and I hadn't talked to him
in a really long time.

And I had known
of the trial, so...

I kind of saw the pattern
from before happen again.

He called my parents,

and tried to convince them to...

testify for him
and get involved.

And my dad was very much

like, back to,
"Let's protect Michael."

Michael could do no wrong
in my husband's eyes.

He felt what Michael did for the
world made the world happy...

All his songs about peace
and love in the world.

That's how my husband saw
Michael... the songs he sang.

And he truly believed it.

♪ Make a better place
for you and for me ♪

I absolutely didn't
believe the first time.

It was wrong.
It was the father's greed.

And then the second time,

I started to question it
in my head.

The accuser is
reportedly a 12-year-old boy,

befriended by Jackson.

The child is
described in reports

as having met Jackson
through a charity

that grants wishes
for ill children.

We didn't know this boy at all.

This was during a period where we really
didn't have much to do with Michael.

Once again, I thought,
you know, this is a kid

who was suffering from
cancer, and I thought,

defending Michael,
this was just another case

where Michael's probably paying
for all his medical bills,

and these people are
taking advantage of it.

That information
about Gavin's mother,

she had been arrested
for shoplifting,

and she had blamed
the security people.

There was a big
thing about that.

They spin information
against the parents.

I believed it all.

He said that he wanted
to show me how to masturbate.

He wanted to show
you how to masturbate?

Okay.
Yeah, and then I said no.

And then he said
he could do it for me.

Okay.

And did he do it for you?

Go ahead, Gavin.
It's fine.

He put his hand in my pants.

Did he put it on the outside?

Inside.
Inside?

What did he do next?

He started...
masturbating me.

Okay.

Yeah.

I told him
I didn't want to do that.

Did he stop?
I told him not to.

He kept on doing it.

In the time
that I was with Wade...

you know, he didn't hear
from Michael a whole lot.

Michael all of a sudden
started to, um,

was starting to communicate with Wade a
whole bunch and reaching out to him.

But it was like, everyday.

The first conversation

after he was arrested
was like...

a continuation, like
picking right back up

from the phone conversations
when I was 11,

and the Jordy Chandler
investigation was going on.

"Here they are again,
trying to take me down.

These evil people."

I would like to thank
the fans around the world...

Can you speak up, please?

I would like to thank
the fans around the world

for your love and your support,
from every corner of the Earth.

My family,
who's been very supportive.

My brother Randy,
who's been incredible.

I wanna thank the community
of Santa Maria.

I want you to know that I...

I love the community
of Santa Maria very much.

It's my community.
I love the people.

I will always love the people.
My children were born

in this community.
My home is in this community.

I will always love
this community

from the bottom of my heart.

That's why I moved here.
Thank you very much.

So, I was 21
or 22 at this point,

and I really did not wanna
go through this again.

I did not wanna testify.

So, at some point,
I worked up the courage

to tell Michael
that I don't wanna testify.

I remember silence
on the phone for a while.

He said, "You know, I...

"You know, I understand. I understand
it's really hard and it's...

"it's tough to go through this with
all of the media and everything.

"Yeah, but, you know,
we can't let them do this to us.

We can't let them take us down."

Us, us, us, you know?

I was kind of breaking, like,

having a nervous breakdown.

And I didn't wanna be involved.

And so I told my mom...

then that he wasn't
a good person.

And that, um...

I don't want them involved.

So, that was tough.

Jimmy was
over, and he said to me,

"Michael's an evil man."

And I just said okay.

And... I stood up
and I hugged him.

And, "Do you wanna go to...
Do you wanna go get help?"

"Oh, no, no, Mom!
And you can't tell anybody!

You can't... "He was so afraid

that I would tell somebody.

Super scared, like...

like a nervous-breakdown scared.

It was a begging sort of,
"You can't tell anybody!"

"I promise that. I promise
I won't tell anybody."

And I felt that I had fucked up
so much the first time,

that I wasn't the mother that
I should've been, guarding him,

that he's come to me
with this truth

that's killing him right now,

I wasn't gonna tell anybody.

I could be there for him now.

I didn't talk with her
really about it.

I couldn't talk about it.

I just said enough
to, like, not get them involved.

And she never... pushed.

For once in his
life, Michael Jackson

was not the center of attention,

even though this has been
a crucial day in his trial.

The focus instead
was on the defense's

first celebrity witness,
the actor Macaulay Culkin.

The prosecution had suggested

that in the early 1990s, he was
one of a number of young boys

who'd been sexually
abused by Jackson.

Actually, Wade had asked me not to
testify, that's how it started.

He came to me and said,

"I do not want you
to testify this time.

I'm not going to either."

And he said, "Just...
You know, I don't wanna

go through all that again.
I've had enough."

I said, "Well, okay, I'm gonna
ask you as an adult now."

He was 21 at this point. I said,
"I haven't asked you this

"for many, many years,
since you were a child.

"But I'm gonna ask you one
more time, as an adult.

Did Michael ever do anything
inappropriate with you?"

And he, once again, looked
me in the eye and said, "No.

He never did."

I said, "So..."

I said, "I think
you need to testify.

This is your friend."

And I said,
"I think at this point,

"you and Macaulay Culkin
are probably

"the only two people in
the world who can save him.

"And if Michael goes to prison,

he won't survive prison,
you know that."

Like, I would have dreams and...

Of Michael being in jail

and being killed in jail,

or dying in jail.
I mean, just like...

Those two things,
Michael Jackson and jail,

just did not go together for me.

I mean, I still...
loved him deeply, you know?

Macaulay Culkin
almost single-handedly

devastated and shook
the foundation

of the prosecution's pattern
evidence against Michael Jackson.

Certainly, if
the jury believes Culkin,

it will be a significant
boost for the defense.

And he asked me to testify,

and, um, I said no.

And he got really angry at me,

and, um, he threatened me.

I had never seen him this angry.

It was like, more like,
"Okay, you're enemy now."

He threatened me
with his lawyers,

and said that I had perjured
myself years ago,

and that he has the best
lawyers in the world and...

that they were gonna get me.

And I just said,

"I don't want any part of it.
You'll hear nothing from me.

You know, don't worry."

I was just trying
to calm him down

to get him off the phone.

The last time I talked to him
was near the end of the trial.

And he tried again to...

He wanted me to testify.

And he, like,
went into a spiel about...

"I'm sorry I haven't
been there for you,

"like, for directing
and all that stuff.

"Let's do something.

I know I haven't been there."

And, uh, I cut
the conversation short.

I just said, you know,

"Just don't call again,"
and I hung up.

And that was the last time
I spoke to him.

Michael, he had
been reminding Wade,

you know, how Wade
could support him

and how much he loved him.

He wanted to talk to me, saying,

you know, how much
he cared about me

and how happy I was
in Wade's life, and...

Suddenly having a lot of, uh...

interest in Wade's life,
and how he was doing,

and that felt
really good to Wade.

And then within...

a week or so after that,

I received a subpoena
to testify.

Reportedly, the grand
jury will hear testimony

from Jackson's now
14-year-old accuser.

But it's also been reported
that testimony will be heard

from Jackson's 1993
molestation case,

which was settled out of court.

I remember asking Wade,

"Nothing happened to you,
right? Like, you were never...

Like, he never did
anything to you, did he?"

I just needed to...
just put it out there.

And he assured me,

"No. No. Never."

And I believed him.

The idea of this truth

coming out, and Amanda
knowing about it,

and my family knowing about it,

and everybody in
the entertainment business,

in my career knowing about it,

I mean, was just
a ridiculous idea

that was never going to happen,
in my mind,

because, in my mind,
my whole life would be over.

If I questioned Michael's...

perspective, that he was
telling me about Gavin,

that I felt like I would,
you know, I would break,

like, I couldn't be
as strong as I needed to be.

He was worried.

We had had dinner the night
before at Neverland,

and he was definitely subdued.

So, we were at the
ranch with all his family.

Michael didn't look well.

He looked very sick.

His kids were there,
everybody was there.

Like, his mind was just
in a whole nother place.

I remember...
all of us sitting at dinner.

And... Paris, his daughter,

just wanting to-to...

wanting her dad's attention.

Kind of like, pulling on his
arm, and pulling on his fingers,

and "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"

And he was, I mean,
he just, he wasn't there.

I remember that,
just feeling really sad.

What if he loses?
What if he goes to jail?

You know, and these are
the last couple of times

that they see
their daddy, you know?

Which built my conviction
even that much more

to, uh, to save him.

I think that definitely
helped Wade to go into the...

you know, court room feeling,

you know, that he wanted
to support Michael,

and feeling good about that.

To me, it was like
here was his, you know,

lifelong friend that
just really needed him.

Looking back,

I mean, it's horrifying
to think about,

you know, the...

what that experience
really represented for Wade.

Love is so powerful.

And I remember how...

white he looked,

and his face was
really thin, drawn out.

Innocent! Innocent!
Innocent!

He looked like a statue.

Lifeless.

I testified, which was hard.

I mean, I think for anybody,
being on the stand

is just a scary scenario.

Because you feel like lawyers
and different are attacking you,

and they're saying
different things, and...

you know, you have
this feeling of, like...

did I just put
my friend in jail?

I was up there
for a couple hours.

The whole scenario was intense.

Wade was up for a long time.

You know, if this
didn't go well for Michael,

he was gonna go to jail
for the rest of his life.

I was going to my grave
with that truth,

of the sexual stuff that
happened between Michael and I.

There was no way in hell

I was ever telling
anybody in the universe.

And that was... period.

Choreographer Wade Robson

acknowledged sharing
a bed with the singer

many times when he was a child,

but he denied
ever being molested.

"Did Mr. Jackson
ever molest you at any time,"

the defense lawyer asked.

"No, never,"
Wade Robson replied.

That contradicts testimony from
a former Michael Jackson maid,

who'd said she'd seen the
singer showering with the boy.

We've seen a parade
of witnesses saying

Michael Jackson's not a good
guy, this is what I saw him do.

If you can get one or two
or three people on that stand

who say,
"They were talking about me.

It never happened,"
very powerful.

Innocent! Innocent!
Innocent!

We the jury in
the above entitled case

find the defendant not guilty of
a lewd act upon a minor child.

Count four verdict: Not guilty.

Count five verdict: Not guilty.

And there it is, all 10 counts.

Not guilty on all 10 counts.

Michael Jackson will be
walking out of this courtroom

a free man.

Michael's innocent!
Michael's innocent!

A jury of 12 decided
the outcome of this trial.

Using the standard
of reasonable doubt,

they rendered a verdict
that was based on the facts

and evidence and within
the guidelines of the law.

We expected probably
better evidence,

you know, something that was

a little more convincing.

We just couldn't abide
the story of the mother for one.

I disliked it intensely when
she snapped her fingers at us.

That's when I thought, "Don't
snap your fingers at me, lady."

I feel that, uh, Michael Jackson

probably has molested boys.

After some of the testimony
was offered,

I can't believe that,

that this man could sleep
in the same

bedroom for 365 straight days,

uh, and not do something more

than just watch television
and eat popcorn.

Yeah, like, I can't
imagine if I was Gavin,

or if I was Jordy at that time.

You know, no-no justice...
being served,

and not being believed
by so many people.

For Gavin, I wish I...

was at a place where

I could tell the truth and...

be a comrade with him.

You know, stopping
Michael and stopping

a lot of other kids
from being abused.

I just wasn't ready.

I wasn't able, when I was 11,

and when I was 22.

And I remember feeling
happy, for sure,

that he was acquitted,
that he wasn't going to jail.

I didn't believe or understand

that the sexual stuff
that happened

between Michael and I was abuse.

I didn't feel like
I was hurt by it.

That it was anything bad
that happened to me.

At that point, it was...

I loved Michael.
Michael loved me.

This was something that
happened between us, that's it.

But I still had absolutely no
understanding that I was affected.

Or any feeling that
I was affected negatively.

In other news, could
Michael Jackson be planning

a comeback right
here in Las Vegas?

Lately, he has been
hiding out overseas,

making no public
appearances at all,

until, that is, Christmas Eve,

when he suddenly showed up
here at Caesar's Palace,

out of the blue,

and began doing holiday
shopping with his kids.

I was in Vegas for...

maybe about six months,
and I was choreographing

a Cirque Du Soleil show.

And at that point, Michael was
living in Vegas with his kids.

I wanted him to come see
the show,

and I asked him to write
some words

for the dancers in the show, some words of
inspiration before opening night and...

And one of the things he kept...

asking as we were
planning getting together was,

"You know, make sure... you're
gonna bring some wine? Yeah?"

So, this was a new dynamic,
which I liked as well 'cause I,

you know, me trying to have this
kind of normal experience with him.

Like, wow, cool. I'll be able
to sit there with Michael

and have a glass of wine and...

talk about real
stuff and, you know.

Amanda and I go
to the grocery store and get

hot dogs and all
that kind of stuff,

and couple bottle
of wines and...

and go to the house.

And so, it's Michael
and the three kids.

You know, once we got in,

one of the first
things he asked was,

"Did you bring the wine?"

We had some, um,

those sort of larger
red plastic cups

and he grabbed one
of those and just

filled one up to the brim,
you know, with white wine,

and just chugged it down,

and then he kept going back
and was filling it up and...

So, I mean, this was
my first experience

of ever seeing him drink at all.

It was nice, and we would
crack some jokes.

There was still that feeling
of kind of reminiscing

about our relationship
from the past.

We watched a movie
with the kids.

You know, he just kept...
kept drinking.

And then at some point,

we're getting kind
of into the evening,

Michael says, "I'm gonna
go upstairs for a second."

Thirty minutes goes by,

an hour goes by, um,

you know, nothing from Michael,
he never comes back down.

Probably an hour,
hour and a half,

and we're just there with the
kids, and it's getting late now.

It's like 10,
or something like that.

So, Amanda and I are like,
"What do we...?"

You know, "What do we do?"

And I remember
asking the kids, like,

"Do you wanna go check on...

on your dad, if he's okay?"

And they were just
sort of like, "Nah.

He's fine."

Like it was, I mean,
it was noth...

It seemed like it was nothing
out of the ordinary for them.

And that was
the last time I saw him.

We're getting some
breaking news coming into

the Situation Room right now.

What are we picking up?
Apparently, Michael Jackson

suffered cardiac
arrest this afternoon.

He was rushed
to UCLA Medical Center.

CNN sources are now saying,

multiple sources,
that Michael Jackson

is in a coma.

You see the number of people

that have already gathered
outside the hospital.

If that isn't testament
to the star power

of Michael Jackson,
I don't know what is.

I was in my house.

I was working on some
choreography for a show.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

And I believe it
was a friend of mine

who texted me and said,
"Turn on the news.

Now."

I think the first image I saw

was the paramedics

that were carrying Michael
to the hospital.

You know, that Michael had had
some sort of cardiac arrest

or something like that.

And we're just
getting this in right now,

and it's very, very sad news,

Jim Moret and to
all of our viewers.

Both the Los Angeles Times

and CBS News are
both now reporting

that Michael Jackson has died.

CNN can now confirm
from the LA Coroner

that Michael Jackson is dead.

Jackson appeared to
have suffered from cardiac arrest.

He was 50 years old.

Michael! Michael!
Michael...

It's not like I just got a call

from my friend's mother
to tell me that my friend died.

You know, you're watching it,
like, on a newscast.

You know, just a whole
different way of finding out

that somebody you know died,
and I'm a mess.

Are you serious? Yeah, no, he died
of a heart attack tonight in LA.

A heart attack!?

So much of my
story, so much of my life,

has been him,
you know, I came to America.

Like, everything, and he's been
such a big part of our life...

then all of sudden, just gone.

I guess you'd
call it being in shock.

I mean, just being...

numb and not believing.

I was at work, and I
think a friend of mine texted.

Said, "I'm sorry,"
and I was like, for what?

And then I looked on
the news and saw it and...

I was sad.

My first reaction
was being really sad.

It's like we would
never be friends again.

I'd never know him again.

I danced when
I heard that he died.

I was laying in bed.
The news came on.

I got out of bed and I was,

"Oh, thank God. He can't
hurt anymore children."

Those were my thoughts,
and I danced.

He can't hurt anymore children!

I was so happy he died.

I had a jacket that
Michael had given me.

I curled up in bed
with the jacket for a week.

I could not believe it.

It was like, it was losing
a family member.

We had loved him
for a long time.

We'd been friends
with him for over 20 years.

It was hard to accept.

You know, you drive in the car,

and you hear
their music and you cry.

It's all around
you all the time,

so you grieve for multiple
days, you know, and you have

beautiful moments where you
remember beautiful memories

of being at the ranch
and all these great things

and remembering him
as a beautiful person,

but then also being...
feeling really sad.

I didn't know how to feel.

I just kind of started going for
walks around the neighborhood.

And, you know, people are
trying to call me like crazy,

and get in contact with me, and
I didn't wanna talk to anybody.

I didn't wanna talk
to my mother,

I didn't wanna talk to anyone.

I remember him
just sitting on curbs

and just being really
incredibly emotional.

A lot of...

yeah, a lot of, like,
curling up and crying.

And the press inquiries were
coming through my agents and...

and it got to the point
where they finally said to me,

"Listen, you gotta
do a statement."

So, I remember going to...

a sort of park in Santa Monica
to sit down and try and...

figure out what I wanted to say.

It was extremely
loving and grateful

for Michael in my life,

and talking about
he's the reason I dance,

the reason I make music,

and ending with, you know, "I'll
never stop missing him, but..."

You know, "Now, he's..."

Something along the lines of,
"Now, he's," uh...

"blessing the heavens
with a melody and a moonwalk."

Something like that.

He tried his
hard to please everybody.

The sick, he donates
so much money to the sick.

He helped the blind.
He helped...

everybody that needed help,

and he was glad to do it.

I've seen Michael
help so many people,

and sometimes,
he would go and cry about it

because he felt sorry for
the people that he was helping.

Michael had a lot
of great attributes,

and he was great
in a lot of ways,

and you loved him
in a lot of ways.

And then...

you know, Michael does
these things to you

that are not healthy,

but you still have...

um, you still have love for him.

So, it's really hard to...

have those two feelings
together.

I still today...

am grappling with that.

It is estimated
that before it's over,

this will be viewed by between

750 million

to a billion people
around the world.

We were contacted
to come to the funeral.

You know, we went to the big
funeral at the Staples Center.

♪ We are the world ♪

♪ We are the children ♪

♪ We are the ones who make
the brighter place ♪

♪ So let's start giving ♪

♪ Let's start giving ♪

I mean, that was
a surreal experience.

I mean, not your average

memorial or funeral.

♪ It's true,
we make a better... ♪

You know, musical performances
and...

Michael's image
up on the massive screen.

You know, at first it felt
like, oh, this is a big hoopla.

But it actually was

really nice,
respectful, you know.

The fans, everybody, were quiet.

It actually felt like
a ceremony and...

it was very emotional for
all of us that were there.

Wade sobbed at
the memorial service

like I've never heard him sob.

He put his head in his hands,

and actually sobbed and sobbed.

He didn't do that
when his father died.

That's the last time I remember

crying about him being dead.

And then, I went back to work.

I mean...

Yeah.

I went back to work, full pelt.

Left right, left
right, left right...

Step! Step!

You know, it was
a new phase in my career in,

kind of, choreography
and stage directing.

Clap! Clap!

Amanda and I were married now.

We were starting to work
together a bit, creatively.

The phones are ringing! Like, say yes, yes!
You know, work begets work.

Like this is time to explode. This
is what you've been working for.

But he'd be in the adrenaline
of a job,

and it was always followed
by lulls of depression.

You know, I'm just
a perfectionist, and...

I just was never really
able to enjoy my work.

It wasn't fun,

and the more success I gained,

the less fun it became.

It was just more about pressure.

And he went through this really

dark, sort of sad,

lonely... a depression, in a way.

I don't know what's going on. I think I'm
gonna have a heart attack or something.

He was freaking out.

He was so afraid that
whatever decision he made

was gonna be the wrong one.

"I've gotta stop, like...
I can't go through this

and not figure
out what's wrong."

So, we were all struggling,
trying to find out

what all this was about.

Amanda is so clear about
how she felt about everything,

and could communicate it,
and I just couldn't.

I would be sad, I would
get angry, and I just...

And she would ask me
what's wrong,

and I would just say
I don't know.

We had been working a ton,

traveling a lot, doing lots
of exciting work, and...

I remember telling
myself, you know,

when I can't think of anything

but becoming a mom,
that will be the time that,

you know, we think
about starting a family.

And Koa arrived on this Earth,

November 10th, 2010.

I just entered this

state of absolute euphoria,

thinking, like, this is
the most important job

I've ever had, being a father.

Koa's birth was, um,

directly aligned
with, uh, Wade receiving,

um, his dream job opportunity.

You know, Michael had
always prophesied to Wade

that he would be
a film director,

like Steven Spielberg
film director,

that that's what
he was working towards.

You know, so these are
kind of two really, uh,

intense life happenings
at the same time.

Becoming a father
and getting my first gig

as a feature film director.

The demands of the film

started to become more apparent.

It was a big budget film,

and there's a lot of people
looking for answers from him,

in reference to story, in reference
to, you know, production.

And fatherhood was
also on his plate.

I stopped being able
to sleep at all.

Lying in bed
for eight, nine hours,

staring at the walls.

Stressed and anxiety
and fears beyond belief.

It gets to the point
where I'm barely operating.

I remove myself from the film.
I remove myself from any work.

I disappeared from the world.

You know, agents, managers,
"Don't call me."

I was barely talking
to my family.

Whatever was
going on inside of him,

I mean, it was relentless.

They say time heals
all wounds, but that...

I don't think
time heals this one.

It just gets worse.

You can't talk to anybody
about it. You don't...

You don't get advice
or a perspective.

You're stuck...

keeping a secret, and then...

So, you don't ever...

You don't ever figure it out.
You're just stuck.

I could see he was
having a rough time,

just with his body
language, and I...

"Do you... Honey, do you
want to go to a psychiatrist?"

"No!" That was an absolute no.

Um...

He just wouldn't talk.
He wouldn't open up.

Jimmy wouldn't, was...
He was different.

It's fine for brief moments,

but when you spend years
like that,

and you don't sleep well...

you kind of go crazy.

When Cillian was born,

he had a little bit
of a breakdown.

And again,
me being me, I thought,

"Well, this must happen to dads
when they have their first kid.

It just makes people feel
scared," and I understood, and...

I-I know I'm probably
sounding incredibly naive,

but some of the things
he did and didn't do,

I just attributed to...
this is our life.

This is, you know,
he sleeps an awful lot,

and so I'll stay up
and I'll take care of the kids,

or, you know, he can't be around

the friends and the schools
the way I am, so I'll do that.

It was sort of survival mode, I
guess, is a good way to put it.

It was like, this is our scenario,
and we love each other,

so we're gonna work around
whatever this is.

I think the...

abuse symptoms intensify
when you have kids.

Like, it ramps up even more.

And then you see
how, like, innocent kids are.

I think having kids...

kind of shoves
that in your face.

He's getting closer to the age
I was when I was abused.

So, that is difficult
to deal with and see...

Watch him kind of
become you at that age.

Found a therapist.

Trying to figure out

what the hell was wrong with me.

I went through
the story of my life,

and I went through the...

story of my life with Michael,

but just... the good parts,

just the creative inspiration,
and the work,

and friendship,
and all of that stuff.

And I was saying things
at this point, like, to Amanda,

"I don't know...
I don't know who I am.

"Like, I don't know what I want.

"I don't know left from right.

"All I know is you and Koa.

Like, that's all that makes
any sense to me."

It was so incredibly
frightening,

'cause for him to just sit still...
he was just terr...

There was just terror
in his eyes, all the time.

I would tell myself,
like, on our porch,

like, "Just keep it together,"

like, "It's gonna be okay.

We're gonna... He's gonna be okay.
We're gonna figure this out."

So, at this point, Koa is about...
a year and a half.

I start to...

have these images of...

the kind of sexual stuff
that happened

between Michael and I

happening to Koa.

And seeing...

Michael doing it to Koa,

what he did to me.

And my immediate...

...emotional, uh, reaction
to-to having those images

is just this, uh, rage and...

disgust and...
you know, violent feeling.

Like, I would kill anyone who
did anything like that to Koa.

What I started thinking was...

you know, how...
how can I have such...

clear feelings,

negative, horrible
feelings about the idea

of that sexual stuff
happening to Koa,

but when I think
about Michael and I,

and all of that sexual stuff
going on...

I don't...
I don't feel anything.

That's probably kind of weird.

And I start thinking, you know,
if I'm gonna go into therapy

and try and really
get to the bottom

of whatever the hell is
going on with me,

I probably have to talk about
the sexual stuff that went on.

I go in for a session
with Dr. Shaw.

"You know,
all the stuff about, um...

"all the allegations,
and, like, Michael Jackson...

"molesting kids
and all that stuff, um...

"It was, uh...

It was true. It happened to me."

There were little things that we
would try and do and look forward to.

Dinners or something, you know,
to try and put on a happy face,

and to, like, look forward
to something,

instead of, like,
the dread and fear of...

our reality.

Wade and Amanda were
living in Santa Monica,

and food trucks were, like, the
big thing in LA at the time.

And I spoke with Erica, my wife,

on the phone
as I'm driving there.

And she, uh, she says, uh...

"I gotta tell you about a crazy,
crazy dream I had last night."

Uh...

Wade had told her

that Michael Jackson
had abused him.

Uh, she said it was so real,

she woke up from the dream
actually crying about it.

My brother and Amanda

go and walk towards
the food trucks,

and we're waiting for some food,
and we're just chatting,

and my brother...

comes out of nowhere
and says, uh,

"You know, my wife had
this crazy dream."

Like, my first instinct
when he said that was to...

crack a joke.

And a joke that had sort of
become kind of standard for me,

which was, you know,

"Yeah, man. I don't know.
I mean, if it... was true,

"I don't know why
I wasn't sexy enough.

Like, what was wrong with me?"

And that was my instinct, to
kind of go right to that joke.

But I just couldn't,
I couldn't this time.

I mean, this was, like,
just an hour and a half ago

that I had told Dr. Shaw
for the first time.

So, my head just dropped.

And then I just kind of,
I just looked up and said,

"It is true."

And, um, and I'm looking at him,

and I'm like, is he telling me
a joke or something right now?

And I'm like,
"What do you mean?"

And all sorts of things
are going through my head,

like the amount of years that,

you know,
he's defended this guy.

I remember, uh, Amanda...

...was, uh, was on my left,

and I remember,
physically, she just, um...

she just caved in,

like someone punched
her in the chest.

And my brother sort of had
the opposite physical reaction.

Like, his chest
kind of puffed out.

He got... angry.

I think his
first word was, "What?"

There was a real kind
of anger in his eyes.

The... It's like the world was,
kind of like spinning,

and all I could see was
Chantal was holding Koa.

So, it's like a blur,

and I just honed in on Koa,
and I needed to hold him.

And then they come over to me,

and as soon as
they come to the table,

Shane turns to me, and he says,

"Wade, tell Chantal
what you just told us."

My sister's always been the one in
my life who's... more emotional,

like much more readily available,
wears her heart on her sleeve.

And I remember the look
in her eyes and just, um...

her just staring at me,
and just tears, you know.

I was hurt and angry for Wade.

I was upset for myself
and my relationship that I had,

and then I was really
scared for my mom.

I was afraid that my mom
would commit suicide.

'Cause it's not like
it was uncommon for me.

But I was afraid that my mom
would do something to herself,

because of the shame of,
you know, her not knowing or...

you know.

It's like this was the...

The story that I had been
telling all these years...

...the lies that I had
been telling about,

you know, that none of this
sexual stuff ever happened,

like, that was... that story...

that version of
the story was the...

the whole foundation of my life,

and my sister's,
and my brother's life.

I mean, like,

my whole life with
Michael is the reason...

my family split apart,
and we moved to America,

and, you know, like,
it's all wrapped up in that.

And now it's like this whole...

the whole foundation of this
story was bullshit, you know?

But there's a child.

The fact that I needed
to take care of him,

whatever he needed next,
got us home.

And now it's my and Wade's
first time alone.

And he's like, "Do you
wanna ask me anything?"

And I... And I said,
"Are you confused?

Like is there any confusion
as to like how...

What is like appropriate
to how you love Koa?"

And Wade was like,
"Absolutely not."

I had no knowledge
of child sexual abuse,

or the, um,

psychological way
it plays out into adulthood.

You know, I was incredibly naive
on the subject.

So, to me, you know,
the fact that he had...

had lied about it to me,

I thought the repercussions must
be something that... affected...

That he was scared of in relation
to me, or to us, or his...

I don't know.

It's like I... I used to be
the person that said...

you know,
"Oh, that person's after money,

or they're trying to bring
Michael down, and he's famous."

And I was the person
that said all that.

You know, and then now being
on the other side of it...

you know, now I understand why
people are saying that to me,

but at the same time,
it's like...

you know, I'm awake now.

It's like I see the reality,
and I see the truth,

and I, you know,
the pattern of what happened,

and-and that it happened
to my brother.

But I feel so bad
for every little boy

prior that tried to talk,

and got shut up really fast.

It's so hard to believe

that he would do that
to a little boy,

someone as beautiful
and talented as Wade was.

It's just overwhelming
to think that.

He's ruined, here,
a lot of lives,

a lot of lives.

What began to happen
was just this...

...emotional, like,
upheaval that was just...

all of these...
anger and sadness and...

you know, back and forth, all
over the place, unpredictable.

I mean, just coming out
of me constantly.

After about... two weeks
after I first told Dr. Shaw,

I, uh, I told Mom I wanted her

to come into a therapy
session with me.

I didn't tell her why.

I spent 30 minutes
with the therapist first,

just to have a chat,
talk about things.

So then...

after 30 minutes,
Wade joined us,

and we sat together
on the couch, and...

he turned to me and said...

that Michael Jackson
had abused him

from age seven to 14.

Uh... It was like
being hit by a truck.

I really didn't know.

I remember her just...

I mean, just...

tears streaming down
her face instantly,

and this kind of

collapse in her body,
and then she just...

kind of reached out
to grab me and she...

The first thing she said was,
"How could you not...

"How could you not have told me?

How could you not have told me?"

That's a real
complicated question.

You know, I couldn't...

I couldn't answer that question.

I held him and held him.
We sobbed together.

And I said, "Well,
I have to take some...

"of the blame for this.

I am your mother,
and I didn't protect you."

And that's what he wanted
to hear, apparently.

I couldn't really...
I don't know,

I couldn't really hug her yet.

I mean, I just...

Very beginning for me
and very confused about, uh...

just my relationship
with, with Mom.

I was angry... at my mom.

I was angry at my mom
before that.

I was angry for her breaking up the
family, to start with, for this whole...

Michael Jackson nonsense.

Like, I don't care
who some guy is,

how do you leave your seven-year-old
or eight-year-old kid

to have sleepovers
at their house?

I mean, that's
just fucking crazy.

Like, as a parent,
I don't understand

how that is even possible.

For five months after that,

Amanda wouldn't allow me
into their home.

Wade and I would meet
so that I could see Koa.

We'd have to meet in a park.

I was so hurt. I was so...

I'd always had such a great relationship
with Amanda and all my family.

I've never had
anything like this happen.

That was the hardest
thing for me to deal with.

And I thought she blamed me.

Now, I'm hearing stories about
what was done to his young body,

with his mom...

close by, in-in another room.

Me being a young mom,
you know, and my just,

you know, how could you ever

let your young child sleep
in the bed of a stranger?

You know, I just
couldn't comprehend it.

Wade and I met...

and...

he said there's things
that he needed to say to me.

He told me...

that he felt no emotion for me.

As a mother, that's like,

the last thing you wanna
hear from your child.

He said he had no...
had no feelings for me.

You know, I remember
asking her, like,

"How did you not know?"

You know, and she just
kept saying, "I don't know.

"I don't know. I don't know
how I didn't know.

"You don't think...

"that I wish I knew?
You know, that I...

that I wish I didn't
see this?" You know.

But it's changed,
it affected everyone's lives.

My family's life, the anger from
my family in Australia, and...

the anger from my family
towards my mother, like...

it goes so deep.

She did everything she could.

She turned her life upside down...
even her marriage.

She had turned everything
upside down because of Michael.

It's not easy to accept,

even at this stage.

The... The abuse...
was a bomb

that dropped in our life
and exploded,

like, you know, and ripped apart

everything that we found sound

and secure and safe.

Of course, I want James
to be happy and feel better,

but I don't always know
how to get him there.

A few things had happened, um,

that just, sort of,
sent him on a spiral.

His father got sick,
work got very challenging.

All these things were
coming together, and, um,

he just...

he went some place else.
He went to a dark place.

He started drinking a lot.
He started going out at night.

Um, he wouldn't come home.

During that time was the first
time we were really fighting.

I didn't understand
what was going on at all.

That was the first time
we ever talked about,

you know, this isn't
a relationship right now.

Is this heading towards
divorce? I mean,

that was the first time we ever
talked about things like that.

I had, like, a
lot of self-hatred,

and I didn't know why.

And you're not
putting it on him.

You're putting it on yourself.

You think it's your doing.

That's part of the manipulation.

People, they might look
at me and see a grownup,

but you... need to see

we're mentally little kids.

We've just gotten...
just gotten older.

Good morning.
Good to see you.

You know that the things you're
gonna say here this morning,

and perhaps in a court of law,

are gonna get a lot of attention,
make a lot of headlines.

So, before I ask you specifics,

what's your mindset right now?

What's my mindset. Um...

I feel strong. I feel...

like this is
the right thing to do,

'cause this is my truth.
Despite what some people

may say after you say these things?
Yes.

I had to defend the lie,

you know, for so many years.

And I didn't wanna do
that anymore.

You know, I was just
trying to declare this

whole new life for myself,

based on the truth.

Let me take you back
to 2005, Wade, all right,

the child molestation trial
of Michael Jackson.

You were the first witness
called by the defense,

and the attorney for Michael
Jackson said he called you first

because you were so
convincing and powerful,

asserting the innocence
of Michael Jackson.

And here we are these years
later, and you're going to say

just the opposite.
Right.

What happened?

First of all, one thing
I wanna clear up is that

this is not a case
of repressed memory.

Which has been reported in the press.
Yeah.

I never forgot one moment
of what Michael did to me.

But I was psychologically
and emotionally

completely unable and unwilling

to understand that
it was sexual abuse.

So, what are you alleging
that he actually did?

He sexually abused me
from seven years old until 14.

And even though
there's lots of...

parts of it that are still...

scary and uncomfortable, um,

to talk about
these sort of things,

and talk about these
sexual details and this...

crazy stuff that happened

between Michael and I...

it still feels
a whole lot better than...

than the lie did.

You have these symptoms,

and then you find out that
somebody else has them and...

and then they went through
something that you went through.

I really just wanted to talk
to Wade 'cause...

you feel so alone.

I think I told my wife
after Wade...

came out,
maybe a few weeks after.

Telling her was...

like, no going back.

At that point in time, we had
a computer in our bedroom,

and I was working late at night.

And he was sitting
at the edge of the bed,

just waiting for me to finish,
which was not like him.

And I, you know, was working,
working, working. He's like,

"Can you please just stop?" And
he sounded so irritated with me.

I was like, you know,
what the heck?

I turn off the computer,
and I turned around,

and that's when I saw how
serious and sad his face was.

And he said, "Laura,
I have to tell you something."

And he just said,
"Bad things have happened.

You know, Michael wasn't...
He wasn't a good guy." And...

he just clearly was
a ball of emotions,

and, um, and I was scared.

It was just like
a punch in the chest.

You're not positive
it's the right decision...

and then thinking that

that action's gonna ruin
your life...

is... I can... I don't know.

I can't even, I can't describe
how scary it is.

It wasn't a heavy,
long conversation.

It was a cry.

He sort of just...
We gave each other a hug,

and he showed me
Wade's interview,

and he just sort of cried and...

He didn't go into
much detail then.

It was just more of this like...

Oh, wow. Our life
just got heavy.

It still feels shameful.

I still have...

feelings that it was...

like, my fault.

And now, TMZ breaks the news

to pop star Omarion
that Wade Robson

is suing Michael Jackson
for child sex abuse!

What?
Yes.

He's suing Mike?

Yes.
MJ? The person that's dead?

All of the above, actually!

He said Michael never touched me,
but, yes, I slept in his bed,

by myself with him, and he
was in his 30s, I was seven.

He should sue his mom
for letting him go sleep

with Michael Jackson
when he's seven years old.

Wade Robson, I put
him on as my witness

and he was subjected to
a withering cross-examination

by prosecutor Ron Zonen from the Santa
Barbara District Attorney's Office.

I mean, Ron went after him,
and Ron's a good prosecutor.

He would not waver. He was
adamant he was never touched.

And my understanding was Safechuck
repeatedly said the same thing.

So, to suddenly come
back years later,

and say we want
millions of dollars,

we were brainwashed,
we had repressed memory,

we didn't face the facts,
we didn't deal with reality...

I just find very,
very suspicious.

The story just keeps changing.

His story

keeps changing.

I have really fucking
had it with you, dude.

Fuck you.

Fuck you to fucking hell.

Fuck you, Wade!

Fuck, I hate you so much!

The die-hard Michael fans,

some of them are...

very, um... hateful.

It's been scary for me,

as a mom, with our child.

You know, in regard to the,
the threats that come from...

that Wade receives.

I'm not gonna lie
and say that that's not hard...

to see and to hear and to feel,

um, people not believing me,
and people thinking

that it's all about the money,
about nothing but the money.

A judge has
dismissed a choreographer's claim

that Michael Jackson
molested him as a child.

Los Angeles Superior Court
Judge Mitchel Becklov

dismissed Wade Robson's
claim on Tuesday,

after determining he waited
too long to file it in court.

He did not
rule on the credibility

of Robson's
allegations themselves.

This is where they
officially threw out his case.

These people don't
even know Michael.

They know Michael Jackson,

the amazing musician,

and the amazing superstar.

I'm not taking anything away from
Michael's talent as a superstar.

But as a man, as a human being,

he's hurt people.

And those people that he's hurt

should have a chance
to talk about it,

and they should be
allowed to be okay.

The way that I understand it,
it's very common

for this type of abuse to be
registered later in life.

That when you're that
small and that hurt,

you don't even understand
what's happened to you.

So, I mean, we can't change it.

Michael's gone,
but it doesn't change the fact

that he destroyed these people,

and that the world still
goes on loving him.

He had so many
good parts about him.

People think his music's
great, so he's great.

And people grew
up with him, too,

'cause he was a star
since he was a little kid.

So, to think that that person

is doing the worst
possible things to kids...

you know, that's tough,
I think, for people to...

wrap their heads around.

I didn't protect my son.

That will always,
always haunt me.

I had one job. I had one child.

And I had one job.

And I fucked up.

So, I had all these months

of loving my life with Michael,

and traveling, and living
the good life, so to speak,

all those wonderful memories...

it was all based on, um,
the suffering of my son.

My son had to suffer
for me to have this life.

My son is messed up today
because of it.

And I'm messed up
today because of it.

So you keep secrets and secrets,
and secrets kill you.

And everything's been
a secret...

and finally, can say something.

I don't wanna know too
much about what went on.

I don't wanna have
that discussion with him

because that would give
me nightmares.

I don't wanna hear that,
so I have not really had

a discussion about
the sexual side of it.

I don't know what else
I could've done,

but whatever it is,
I wish I had.

I don't know if I'll ever really

fully forgive her to what
happened to the family

and what happened to Wade.

Um, I still love her and all.

You know, still support her
as much as I can, but...

there's some things that
I don't know if you...

I don't know if I can forgive.

I don't know how many
there are that Michael abused,

but you can only imagine
what the power that he had

and the influence that he had.

We, like, the public knows
how many children were there.

And then there's all the children
that we don't know about.

If my story of abuse
with Michael and...

and all of the ways
that it affected me...

if speaking that truth,

other survivors of
child sexual abuse,

at the hands of anybody,

could be helped in any way,
shape or form,

by me coming forward
and speaking it,

I wanted to be able to do that.

I wanna be able
to speak the truth...

as loud as I had to speak
the lie for so long.

It's just the
fame, the whole thing,

you do get caught up in it.

Maybe I can forgive him,
at some point,

if I tried to understand
that he was sick...

but forgiving myself
is another thing.

I don't know if
I will ever do that.

He took my son's childhood away.

He took the man
he could've been away.

He was a pedophile.

You know, the word says it all:
Pedophile.

I think they thought they
were doing the right thing,

and he's the biggest star,
and he's gonna...

"I'm gonna help your son, and...

"You're son's amazing,

and I'm gonna be there
for him."

It's all a big seduction.

So, do I blame them?

I'm still working on it.

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