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Aah!
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*THE SIMPSONS*
Season 29 Episode 11
Title: "Frink Gets Testy"
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D'oh!
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Is she gonna be okay,
Doc?
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She's just fine.
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- And here's the baby.
- Oh...
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I know how to hold one of these.
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D'oh!
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♪♪
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♪♪
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You're watching
The Learning Network,
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where minds grow.
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Stay tuned for...
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Apocalypse Week,
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Ebola Meteor,
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00:01:00,789 --> 00:01:02,114
Nukes of Hazard,
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Jesus Christ Superstorm,
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But first... Nostradamus:
The man who saw the future.
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The following film, made in 1982,
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was thought to be lost forever.
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Actually, it was misplaced in a box
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for the comedy Doctor Detroit.
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But its predictions are
more terrifying than ever.
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Hello, I'm Orson... Welles,
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director of Citizen Kane...
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Boring.
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As well as the lower left-hand square
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on Hollywood Squares.
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Ooh, right next to Ruth Buzzi.
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In 1555, the prophet Nostradamus
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foretold a terrifying series
of predictions,
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all of which came to pass.
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First, his own death. Second,
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large wars in Europe,
similar to the large wars
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he observed in Europe.
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And the breakup of Fleetwood Mac.
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But Nostradamus's
final quatrain contained
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one more prediction yet to come:
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that shortly after the
Antichrist becomes president...
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A Flaming mushroom
spreads across the sky.
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This champagne is terrible.
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It tastes like dryer sheets.
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But what does said mushroom signify?
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Nothing less
than World War III.
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Ugh,
who'd fall for this malarkey?
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Smithers, I'm scared.
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Release the comforting hounds.
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Oh, excellent.
Now, make them into rugs.
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Anyone left alive will surely
find themselves envying...
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Who?
Who could we possibly envy?
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- The dead.
- Aah!
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Smithers, the end is nigh,
and we must prepare.
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Round up this town's greatest minds.
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- Should I order pizza?
- Uh-huh.
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One large cheese, double-cut.
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♪♪
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Attention, fellow members
_
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of the Springfield chapter
of Mensa.
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Mr. Burns has called us here
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to solve an unknown problem
of global importance.
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But first, Tri-Ominoes!
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I say we write and solve
our own acrostics.
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Yes, after we recite all the words
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in the Declaration of Independence
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in alphabetical order.
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All: A, A, A, A, A, A.
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- Abdicated. Abolish. Abolishing.
- Abdicated. Abolish. Abolishing.
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- Absolute. Absolved.
- Absolute. Absolved.
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Silence, you thinkertons.
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I summoned you here because
the world is about to end.
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No, it isn't.
What are you afraid of?
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Global warming?
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A.I.? Some sort of plague?
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As smarty-pantalones,
I am asking you to help with
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00:03:38,663 --> 00:03:41,011
the Montgomery Burns
Doomsday Ark.
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This space vehicle will lead
humanity's best and brightest
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to a better life under
my stern rule.
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Oh, gee heavens.
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Will there be someone for
your more personal needs?
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Concubines. Many concubines.
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I'll work my way in.
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I need you to tell me who is worthy
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of surviving the apocalypse with me.
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I only want the sharpest razors
in this town's Halloween candy.
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00:04:03,292 --> 00:04:06,204
Oh, don't worry, Mr. Burns,
this is what Mensa does best...
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00:04:06,272 --> 00:04:08,036
make everyone else feel stupid.
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The only word in English
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with three consecutive
double letters is...
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- Oh, um...
- Um...
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Um, "gooseberry."
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No, "coffee." Coffee-oo.
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00:04:16,743 --> 00:04:19,339
- Uh, balloon-an-ing.
- Bookkeeper.
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00:04:19,407 --> 00:04:20,591
- Damn it.
- Ha!
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00:04:20,659 --> 00:04:22,638
It's simple.
All we need to do is
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00:04:22,706 --> 00:04:24,893
give everyone in town
an IQ test.
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00:04:24,962 --> 00:04:26,814
The highest scores
get on the ark...
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Mensa members
grandfathered in.
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00:04:28,717 --> 00:04:30,077
Sounds good to me.
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00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,548
Grandfathered!
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00:04:31,627 --> 00:04:33,994
Not so fast. Flavin.
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Being intelligent people,
I am quite sure
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that you will take this well.
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IQs are meaningless.
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Heresy!
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I have the ultimate test
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that measures something
far more significant:
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00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:49,806
your overall worth
as a human.
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Impossible.
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Intelligence is the only
quotient
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that tells you
how important you are.
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00:04:54,875 --> 00:04:58,656
Ask any of us who did well on
a test we took when we were six.
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00:05:01,365 --> 00:05:04,500
Well, you may be the brightest,
but you are not the best.
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00:05:04,590 --> 00:05:07,888
Your worthiness as a human being
is best measured, people,
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00:05:07,956 --> 00:05:11,995
by the Personal Value Quotient.
That's P.V.Q.
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00:05:12,109 --> 00:05:14,697
Oh! Ow! All right,
enough with the pelting
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00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:16,645
and the bonking
and the compass in my neck.
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Garvik. In order to defuse
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your obvious hostilities,
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I will make my presentation
entertaining, all right?
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00:05:22,752 --> 00:05:26,638
With a one, and a two,
and a 3.14159.
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00:05:26,963 --> 00:05:29,943
Forgive me if it seems like
I'm attacking,
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but I find the old IQ test
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badly lacking.
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If you want to find out
just what someone can do,
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you need to learn
that subject's P.V.Q.
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00:05:41,439 --> 00:05:43,405
♪♪
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♪ It tests for ♪
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00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:49,992
♪ Sympathy and empathy ♪
♪ and group collaboration ♪
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00:05:50,147 --> 00:05:53,716
♪ Artistry and neatness ♪
♪ and complex socialization ♪
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00:05:53,783 --> 00:05:57,186
♪ And every single aspect ♪
♪ of a personality ♪
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♪ Hey, the P.V.Q. ♪
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♪ Is A.O.K. with me ♪
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00:06:03,534 --> 00:06:05,794
♪♪
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00:06:05,925 --> 00:06:08,937
♪ It tests for sarcasm and
prudence ♪
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00:06:09,048 --> 00:06:11,033
♪ Not if you're Isaac Newton ♪
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00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:12,568
♪ Confidence, ambition ♪
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00:06:12,636 --> 00:06:14,371
♪ And the teams for whom ♪
♪ you're rootin' ♪
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00:06:14,438 --> 00:06:16,505
♪ So it's all the little foibles ♪
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00:06:16,574 --> 00:06:18,140
♪ That can make a person whole ♪
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00:06:18,209 --> 00:06:20,342
♪ Trust the P.V.Q. ♪
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♪ The yardstick for the soul ♪
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♪ Now, people, you're all geniuses ♪
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00:06:33,624 --> 00:06:35,324
- Oh, please...
- My, my, well, thank you.
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00:06:35,393 --> 00:06:37,259
♪ You can see this is no lark ♪
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♪ Emotional intelligence ♪
♪ is needed for the ark ♪
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- Uh-huh.
- Hmm...
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♪♪
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♪ You mean earnestness and ego ♪
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♪ And if they make a mean burrito ♪
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♪ And the social grace to know ♪
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00:06:56,579 --> 00:06:58,580
♪ When not to wear a Speedo ♪
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♪ Every trait that integrates ♪
♪ a winning personality ♪
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♪ Yes, the P.V.Q. ♪
_
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♪ Is what we'll do to find out who ♪
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♪ Will see us through ♪
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♪ Yes, the P.V.Q. ♪
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♪ Is A.O.K. ♪
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♪ With me... ♪
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Oivik!
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00:07:20,204 --> 00:07:22,438
Anyone have a song in rebuttal?
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♪ You got to have hear... ♪
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Oh, balderdash.
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We're going with this man's
test.
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- Oh, wonderful.
- To determine who is worthy
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of a seat on my ark.
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Uh, but, sir, how do we
get everyone in town
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to take a test without
telling them what it's about?
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Mandatory test.
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Mandatory test!
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Mandatory for everyone
not ringing a bell.
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00:07:48,232 --> 00:07:49,827
What's the point of this test
again?
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The way I look at it,
the more things
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00:07:51,521 --> 00:07:54,105
secret corporations know about us,
the better, huh?
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I like when drones show up
bringing me things
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I needed but didn't know.
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Hmm.
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00:07:59,255 --> 00:08:01,077
Wow, I am out of deodorant.
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We all knew.
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00:08:02,346 --> 00:08:04,597
Remove all stray marks.
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00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:06,513
Number two pencil only.
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00:08:06,614 --> 00:08:08,785
And for God's sake, relax!
_
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00:08:08,853 --> 00:08:11,631
This question asks about
the price of underwear,
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00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:14,423
as if I were some landed aristocrat.
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00:08:14,492 --> 00:08:16,462
Hey, can I copy off you?
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00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:17,729
Be my guest.
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00:08:21,374 --> 00:08:24,933
"Day is to night as early is to..."
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Late. Booyah!
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00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:31,373
Booyah!
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00:08:34,111 --> 00:08:35,610
Booyah!
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The one test I don't bring
my earmuffs.
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The results are in.
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The newest and most accurate measure
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00:08:44,895 --> 00:08:47,604
of our intelligence on a
scale from one to 500...
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00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:49,525
500 being best.
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00:08:49,593 --> 00:08:52,027
- Boring.
- Don't shut it off.
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00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:53,529
I need my score.
197
00:08:55,699 --> 00:08:57,332
Thank you.
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00:08:57,401 --> 00:08:59,868
Now we'll run everyone's scores
past the screen really fast,
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00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:01,745
from best to worst,
trusting that you'll pause
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00:09:01,813 --> 00:09:03,559
at only your name.
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00:09:04,775 --> 00:09:06,372
Pause it!
202
00:09:07,177 --> 00:09:10,383
475, my sweet spot.
Excellent.
203
00:09:10,463 --> 00:09:12,037
But room to improve.
204
00:09:13,881 --> 00:09:17,287
What?! I am one below Ralph?
Ralph?
205
00:09:17,354 --> 00:09:20,117
Honey, it doesn't mean
Ralph's smarter than you.
206
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:23,534
It just means he's
a more valuable person.
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00:09:23,701 --> 00:09:26,203
- Ralph?
- Keep scrolling.
208
00:09:27,298 --> 00:09:29,731
Ooh, 311.
209
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,367
Above average, but not
enough to make people mad.
210
00:09:32,436 --> 00:09:35,837
And, it's the number you call
to complain about potholes.
211
00:09:35,906 --> 00:09:39,741
Ooh. "H. Simpson: 265."
212
00:09:39,810 --> 00:09:42,048
Exactly the number of days in a year.
213
00:09:42,980 --> 00:09:45,098
Well, that's good.
Let's change the channel.
214
00:09:45,166 --> 00:09:46,677
But we don't know your score.
215
00:09:46,756 --> 00:09:48,655
Like I said, that's good.
216
00:09:48,746 --> 00:09:51,947
Hmm, not there.
Not there. Not there.
217
00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:04,365
I don't need any test.
218
00:10:04,433 --> 00:10:06,168
I'm street-smart.
219
00:10:07,579 --> 00:10:09,014
Haw-haw!
220
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,833
I refuse to accept that
my little guy has no future.
221
00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:18,250
He can learn how to
put in adding machine tape.
222
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:20,273
That's how I got through
the Depression,
223
00:10:20,341 --> 00:10:22,788
and letting the FBI know
which bugle boys
224
00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:24,767
were about to turn boogie-woogie.
225
00:10:24,886 --> 00:10:26,457
We're not giving up on Bart.
226
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,503
And I'm not giving up on you, Homer.
227
00:10:28,571 --> 00:10:30,394
What, you're still trying? In what way?
228
00:10:30,461 --> 00:10:33,197
My will is 38 pages
of me yelling at you.
229
00:10:33,485 --> 00:10:35,153
Ooh, I'm in the will.
230
00:10:38,963 --> 00:10:41,197
Charles.
Listen to me, Charles.
231
00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:42,782
Not now, Satan.
232
00:10:42,861 --> 00:10:45,157
I'm not Satan,
I'm Orson Welles.
233
00:10:45,252 --> 00:10:48,129
Satan would sell wine
before its time.
234
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:51,715
Yes. Now, have you taken
my warning seriously?
235
00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:53,717
Oh, but I did.
I've already started the ark.
236
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:55,676
Very good. Now I must go.
237
00:10:55,747 --> 00:10:57,777
God commissioned me
to direct a rainbow,
238
00:10:57,845 --> 00:11:00,014
and I've spent half
my budget on indigo.
239
00:11:00,101 --> 00:11:02,699
The only answer is
to play "red" myself.
240
00:11:02,774 --> 00:11:03,944
Smithers.
241
00:11:04,340 --> 00:11:06,657
Speed up production on the ark.
Put everyone on it.
242
00:11:06,752 --> 00:11:09,261
Ply them with all the rum
and salt it takes.
243
00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:18,462
Eh, there's no nap like a scaffold nap.
244
00:11:20,782 --> 00:11:22,621
Hey, what do you think
we're building, anyway?
245
00:11:22,744 --> 00:11:24,797
I'm betting it's a new
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
246
00:11:24,877 --> 00:11:26,815
Maybe this one will keep somebody out.
247
00:11:27,952 --> 00:11:30,063
How can Ralph score higher than me?
248
00:11:30,143 --> 00:11:31,785
That's-that's just wrong.
249
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,858
But all my self-esteem comes from tests.
250
00:11:34,926 --> 00:11:37,914
Should I really be pulling
on this string?
251
00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:40,498
I am not worse than Ralph!
252
00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:45,129
- Hi, Ralph.
- Hi, Ralph.
253
00:11:45,252 --> 00:11:47,042
- Hi, Ralph.
- Hi, Ralph.
254
00:11:47,129 --> 00:11:49,807
I miss the string through my ears.
255
00:11:51,298 --> 00:11:52,631
All right, Lisa.
256
00:11:52,699 --> 00:11:54,987
Watch, do not judge.
257
00:11:56,076 --> 00:11:58,238
What makes him superior?
_
258
00:12:00,292 --> 00:12:02,007
Whee!
259
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:04,544
I'm okay.
260
00:12:06,619 --> 00:12:08,561
You have
reached the Wiggum residence.
261
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:11,401
If Ralph is stuck in
something, press one.
262
00:12:11,504 --> 00:12:14,039
If something is stuck in
Ralph, press two.
263
00:12:14,198 --> 00:12:17,677
If this is Ralph, Daddy
is not in the phone.
264
00:12:17,748 --> 00:12:20,504
Do not open the phone
looking for me.
265
00:12:20,743 --> 00:12:21,873
What are you doing?
266
00:12:21,984 --> 00:12:23,359
The only thing I'm good at.
267
00:12:23,454 --> 00:12:24,521
Nothing.
268
00:12:24,589 --> 00:12:25,615
That tears it.
269
00:12:25,726 --> 00:12:27,438
We're going to see Professor Frink,
270
00:12:27,506 --> 00:12:30,472
and find out exactly
what happened on that test.
271
00:12:30,572 --> 00:12:32,085
Got a little present for you, Bart.
272
00:12:32,153 --> 00:12:35,018
It's called The Bible For The Slow. Mm?
273
00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:36,924
He's not going to take it.
274
00:12:36,992 --> 00:12:38,334
Okily-dokily.
275
00:12:38,405 --> 00:12:41,853
Professor Frink,
your stupid test ruined my son's life.
276
00:12:41,921 --> 00:12:43,878
Hey, that test is like a son to me.
277
00:12:43,946 --> 00:12:45,696
I raised it from a quiz.
278
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,528
I've known my son since he was born,
279
00:12:47,687 --> 00:12:50,017
and he's not anywhere near as stupid
280
00:12:50,085 --> 00:12:52,059
as your stupid test says he is.
281
00:12:52,127 --> 00:12:55,939
And if you think so,
you're stupid, stupid, stupid!
282
00:12:56,156 --> 00:12:57,753
Wow, Marge.
283
00:12:57,832 --> 00:12:59,945
You really love Bart.
284
00:13:00,024 --> 00:13:02,179
All right, all right,
let me recheck it.
285
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:04,131
Uh, rechecking, rechecking.
286
00:13:04,199 --> 00:13:05,382
Put-upon sigh.
287
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:06,517
Oivik.
288
00:13:06,584 --> 00:13:08,755
Rechecking... ah, here we are.
289
00:13:08,823 --> 00:13:10,157
Uh, Simpson, B.
290
00:13:11,104 --> 00:13:12,796
That's not a "B."
291
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,227
Well, yes, it is,
you see, the two...
292
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,827
oh, my garvik!
293
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:19,082
There was a mistake. Well, your son
294
00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:20,884
has above-average intelligence.
295
00:13:21,039 --> 00:13:22,305
You did it, boy.
296
00:13:22,373 --> 00:13:23,820
No, that just looks like a "B."
297
00:13:23,888 --> 00:13:26,055
The real unfortunate is H. Simpson.
298
00:13:26,135 --> 00:13:27,994
I mean, what a clod!
299
00:13:28,089 --> 00:13:31,180
Worst handwriting and brain in town.
300
00:13:31,259 --> 00:13:32,261
- D'oh!
- Hey!
301
00:13:32,372 --> 00:13:33,539
I'm H. Simpson.
302
00:13:33,619 --> 00:13:35,282
Oh, well, it's very nice to meet you.
303
00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:36,466
Would you like some water?
304
00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:37,741
- Smartwater?
- No.
305
00:13:41,558 --> 00:13:43,363
- Homie, aren't you coming?
- Bye-bye.
306
00:13:43,430 --> 00:13:46,324
I can't. I'll be a laughing
stock when everyone finds out
307
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,317
I'm the stupidest man in town.
308
00:13:48,507 --> 00:13:50,060
How are they gonna find out?
309
00:13:50,128 --> 00:13:51,228
I just tweeted it.
310
00:13:51,296 --> 00:13:53,927
Marge, you have to get ahead
of these stories.
311
00:13:58,558 --> 00:14:00,715
I'm sorry, sir, you belong here.
312
00:14:00,783 --> 00:14:02,438
Oh! Oh.
313
00:14:08,474 --> 00:14:09,899
Look thou be true.
314
00:14:09,967 --> 00:14:11,464
Do not give dalliance.
315
00:14:11,532 --> 00:14:13,633
Too much of the rein.
316
00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:18,492
Why does Oscar skate in his trash can?
_
317
00:14:18,579 --> 00:14:19,791
It makes no sense!
318
00:14:21,838 --> 00:14:23,751
I'll cheer up here.
_
319
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,840
One "stupid," please?
320
00:14:27,191 --> 00:14:28,939
Okay, you gave me $40.
321
00:14:29,058 --> 00:14:30,238
Here's two dollars back.
322
00:14:30,306 --> 00:14:32,077
Unless you want splash insurance.
323
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,445
- How much is that?
- Another ten.
324
00:14:34,532 --> 00:14:35,680
Uh, here's $20.
325
00:14:35,898 --> 00:14:37,670
And two more for you.
326
00:14:42,732 --> 00:14:44,583
Insurance doesn't cover
entryway splashes.
327
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:45,860
D'oh!
328
00:14:45,961 --> 00:14:49,253
Hey, Homer, uh, we was watching
Jeopardy!, but, uh,
329
00:14:49,404 --> 00:14:51,854
tell you what, we'll just talk
about shapes and colors now.
330
00:14:52,042 --> 00:14:54,163
I like blue rectangles.
331
00:14:54,330 --> 00:14:56,133
Rectangles. You know, Homer.
332
00:14:56,323 --> 00:14:58,055
The ones with four sides.
333
00:14:58,260 --> 00:15:00,013
Listen, you.
334
00:15:00,081 --> 00:15:02,942
I've known my shapes
since I was 16!
335
00:15:03,053 --> 00:15:05,723
Put him down, Homer,
and I'll give you a cookie.
336
00:15:05,953 --> 00:15:07,415
That's a coaster.
337
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,429
Ooh! Dummy's wising up.
338
00:15:09,497 --> 00:15:11,040
I'll take the cookie.
339
00:15:11,229 --> 00:15:15,359
I never thought I'd say this,
but I'm too depressed for Moe's.
340
00:15:21,899 --> 00:15:23,218
Heya, Homer.
341
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,419
I'm sorry. I know I'm taking up
too much of the bed.
342
00:15:26,570 --> 00:15:27,937
Oh, sweetie.
343
00:15:28,016 --> 00:15:31,388
What the entire world thinks
doesn't affect how I see you.
344
00:15:31,456 --> 00:15:33,151
Well, how do you see me?
345
00:15:33,219 --> 00:15:36,632
The hair and body
of a dashing Friar Tuck.
346
00:15:36,779 --> 00:15:40,045
Ooh.
347
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,404
But what about my brains?
348
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:44,178
My favorite character
in The Wizard of Oz
349
00:15:44,246 --> 00:15:46,576
was always the Scarecrow.
350
00:15:46,766 --> 00:15:48,534
I knew it.
Thanks to that test,
351
00:15:48,602 --> 00:15:50,822
you see me as stupid first
and Homer third.
352
00:15:50,890 --> 00:15:51,844
I mean, second.
353
00:15:51,931 --> 00:15:54,004
- I know second.
- I won't let you give up.
354
00:15:54,075 --> 00:15:56,237
We're going to start
improving you.
355
00:15:56,396 --> 00:15:58,456
Oh, Marge. No one ever did
anything useful
356
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,100
after the age of 39.
357
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,960
George W. Bush sobered up.
358
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,240
And became president.
359
00:16:03,308 --> 00:16:04,897
Too huge mistakes.
360
00:16:05,039 --> 00:16:06,536
Homie, this whole mix-up
happened
361
00:16:06,604 --> 00:16:08,631
because of your sloppy
handwriting.
362
00:16:08,766 --> 00:16:11,690
We'll start with that,
improving your handwriting.
363
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:15,177
Right now, my hand just wants
to crawl in my pocket and cry.
364
00:16:15,296 --> 00:16:18,339
Now this hand is jealous.
365
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:19,969
Mwah.
366
00:16:20,072 --> 00:16:21,870
I know where this is going.
367
00:16:21,938 --> 00:16:25,959
Um, I do, too, but you say it first.
368
00:16:26,077 --> 00:16:27,285
Snuggling.
369
00:16:27,781 --> 00:16:29,112
Ooh.
370
00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:35,892
What is his secret?
What is his secret?!
371
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,793
I'm going to Dizzyland.
372
00:16:37,860 --> 00:16:41,150
♪♪
373
00:16:45,885 --> 00:16:47,604
Want to see me do a cartwheel?
374
00:16:47,672 --> 00:16:49,622
- No! No, no, no!
- Good point.
375
00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:52,141
On the other hand, whee!
376
00:16:53,878 --> 00:16:56,225
Don't worry, Lou,
I've seen that in cartoons.
377
00:16:56,293 --> 00:16:59,145
Swee'Pea, Mr. Magoo,
they were fine.
378
00:16:59,248 --> 00:17:00,737
What about Sylvester the Cat?
379
00:17:00,805 --> 00:17:02,817
Never be a cat in a cartoon, Lou.
380
00:17:02,982 --> 00:17:04,116
Never.
381
00:17:10,661 --> 00:17:12,329
The beam must have
a fulcrum I can move to
382
00:17:12,396 --> 00:17:13,495
that would stabilize it.
383
00:17:13,564 --> 00:17:15,697
Think, Lisa, think.
384
00:17:19,136 --> 00:17:20,436
Oh!
385
00:17:25,459 --> 00:17:27,162
Two for two.
386
00:17:28,987 --> 00:17:32,625
Young man, didn't I tell you
to sit and stay in that house?
387
00:17:32,713 --> 00:17:34,544
I thought you were talking
to the dog.
388
00:17:34,612 --> 00:17:35,684
We don't have a dog.
389
00:17:35,753 --> 00:17:37,742
Then what's been pooping
in my bedroom?
390
00:17:37,909 --> 00:17:41,690
Professor, how on Earth did he
get a higher score than me?
391
00:17:41,802 --> 00:17:45,822
Okay, Lisa, I am going
to give you ten more points
392
00:17:45,988 --> 00:17:48,256
for one of the most important
skills of all:
393
00:17:48,324 --> 00:17:52,447
discovering huge flaws in
my test without telling anyone.
394
00:17:53,704 --> 00:17:56,447
You mean, after all this,
after all I've gone through,
395
00:17:56,515 --> 00:17:59,983
you're just gonna fudge my score
and I should be happy?
396
00:18:00,051 --> 00:18:02,780
Well, after all,
that's how I got into, uh...
397
00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:04,186
Oh, I can't say it.
398
00:18:04,254 --> 00:18:05,529
The lowest of the Ivys.
399
00:18:05,597 --> 00:18:07,228
Oh, God, help me... Cornell!
400
00:18:07,296 --> 00:18:08,555
Cornell! God!
401
00:18:08,623 --> 00:18:09,755
It's okay, you're fine.
402
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:10,886
Oh, gloyvik.
403
00:18:11,055 --> 00:18:13,076
Okay, Homie, buckle up.
404
00:18:13,144 --> 00:18:16,792
Because there's no limit to how
neat your handwriting can get.
405
00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:17,875
Marge, I don't know.
406
00:18:17,943 --> 00:18:20,064
You can't teach an old dog
new tricks.
407
00:18:20,159 --> 00:18:23,132
♪♪
408
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:24,906
I'll help you.
409
00:18:24,974 --> 00:18:27,219
♪ Whoa ♪
410
00:18:27,287 --> 00:18:29,638
♪ My love... ♪
411
00:18:29,796 --> 00:18:32,452
Lisa, turn off
that oldies station!
412
00:18:32,594 --> 00:18:34,194
♪ My darl... ♪
413
00:18:57,655 --> 00:18:58,841
Dearest Marjorie,
414
00:18:58,909 --> 00:19:01,625
what words are adequate
to describe your beauty?
415
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,706
Like, a bowling ball,
fresh out of a polisher.
416
00:19:04,873 --> 00:19:05,974
Oh.
417
00:19:06,042 --> 00:19:07,309
I've always dreamed
418
00:19:07,378 --> 00:19:10,539
Homie would write me
cursive love letters.
419
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:20,407
You are as beautiful
as your sisters are hideous.
420
00:19:20,510 --> 00:19:22,052
Oh...
421
00:19:23,827 --> 00:19:26,366
♪♪
422
00:19:28,949 --> 00:19:30,752
Oh, Homie.
423
00:19:30,831 --> 00:19:32,023
Mwah. Oh.
424
00:19:32,103 --> 00:19:34,144
I'm married to a writer.
425
00:19:34,449 --> 00:19:35,716
I really am.
426
00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:45,071
Welcome, all of you.
427
00:19:45,139 --> 00:19:46,800
You are the chosen people.
428
00:19:46,911 --> 00:19:49,209
Chosen to be my slaves.
429
00:19:49,278 --> 00:19:51,234
I am no one's slave.
430
00:19:51,302 --> 00:19:52,726
Well, doesn't matter
what you think.
431
00:19:52,794 --> 00:19:53,932
The doors are sealed.
432
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,309
Not this one.
433
00:19:55,377 --> 00:19:59,210
Wait, wait, you haven't heard
about the retirement plan.
434
00:19:59,369 --> 00:20:00,839
There isn't one.
435
00:20:01,649 --> 00:20:02,916
Fine, I don't need them.
436
00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:04,391
I don't need anyone.
437
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:11,166
Oh. Why did you have me go back
for your slippers?
438
00:20:11,397 --> 00:20:13,756
How could you turn on me so quickly?
439
00:20:14,053 --> 00:20:17,180
♪♪
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