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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,301 --> 00:00:05,755 Aah! 2 00:00:05,822 --> 00:00:08,178 *THE SIMPSONS* Season 29 Episode 11 Title: "Frink Gets Testy" 3 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,407 D'oh! 4 00:00:29,469 --> 00:00:31,313 Is she gonna be okay, Doc? 5 00:00:31,384 --> 00:00:32,586 She's just fine. 6 00:00:32,654 --> 00:00:34,782 - And here's the baby. - Oh... 7 00:00:34,887 --> 00:00:37,430 I know how to hold one of these. 8 00:00:38,176 --> 00:00:39,477 D'oh! 9 00:00:41,152 --> 00:00:45,031 ♪♪ 10 00:00:49,075 --> 00:00:52,443 ♪♪ 11 00:00:52,581 --> 00:00:54,279 You're watching The Learning Network, 12 00:00:54,374 --> 00:00:55,583 where minds grow. 13 00:00:55,651 --> 00:00:56,806 Stay tuned for... 14 00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:59,096 Apocalypse Week, 15 00:00:59,164 --> 00:01:00,717 Ebola Meteor, 16 00:01:00,789 --> 00:01:02,114 Nukes of Hazard, 17 00:01:02,265 --> 00:01:03,941 Jesus Christ Superstorm, 18 00:01:04,036 --> 00:01:08,010 But first... Nostradamus: The man who saw the future. 19 00:01:10,179 --> 00:01:13,478 The following film, made in 1982, 20 00:01:13,546 --> 00:01:15,265 was thought to be lost forever. 21 00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:17,522 Actually, it was misplaced in a box 22 00:01:17,590 --> 00:01:20,111 for the comedy Doctor Detroit. 23 00:01:20,179 --> 00:01:23,150 But its predictions are more terrifying than ever. 24 00:01:23,262 --> 00:01:26,608 Hello, I'm Orson... Welles, 25 00:01:26,719 --> 00:01:28,347 director of Citizen Kane... 26 00:01:28,427 --> 00:01:29,674 Boring. 27 00:01:29,770 --> 00:01:31,592 As well as the lower left-hand square 28 00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:32,856 on Hollywood Squares. 29 00:01:32,924 --> 00:01:35,021 Ooh, right next to Ruth Buzzi. 30 00:01:35,108 --> 00:01:38,454 In 1555, the prophet Nostradamus 31 00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:41,385 foretold a terrifying series of predictions, 32 00:01:41,512 --> 00:01:43,555 all of which came to pass. 33 00:01:43,682 --> 00:01:46,558 First, his own death. Second, 34 00:01:46,677 --> 00:01:49,775 large wars in Europe, similar to the large wars 35 00:01:49,862 --> 00:01:51,356 he observed in Europe. 36 00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:53,867 And the breakup of Fleetwood Mac. 37 00:01:53,935 --> 00:01:56,861 But Nostradamus's final quatrain contained 38 00:01:56,949 --> 00:01:59,929 one more prediction yet to come: 39 00:02:00,072 --> 00:02:03,662 that shortly after the Antichrist becomes president... 40 00:02:04,904 --> 00:02:07,811 A Flaming mushroom spreads across the sky. 41 00:02:09,717 --> 00:02:11,267 This champagne is terrible. 42 00:02:11,346 --> 00:02:13,411 It tastes like dryer sheets. 43 00:02:13,578 --> 00:02:16,311 But what does said mushroom signify? 44 00:02:16,477 --> 00:02:19,872 Nothing less than World War III. 45 00:02:19,991 --> 00:02:22,541 Ugh, who'd fall for this malarkey? 46 00:02:22,652 --> 00:02:24,456 Smithers, I'm scared. 47 00:02:24,551 --> 00:02:26,583 Release the comforting hounds. 48 00:02:28,594 --> 00:02:30,732 Oh, excellent. Now, make them into rugs. 49 00:02:31,879 --> 00:02:35,652 Anyone left alive will surely find themselves envying... 50 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,683 Who? Who could we possibly envy? 51 00:02:37,834 --> 00:02:39,486 - The dead. - Aah! 52 00:02:39,562 --> 00:02:42,188 Smithers, the end is nigh, and we must prepare. 53 00:02:42,256 --> 00:02:44,579 Round up this town's greatest minds. 54 00:02:44,650 --> 00:02:46,208 - Should I order pizza? - Uh-huh. 55 00:02:46,295 --> 00:02:48,090 One large cheese, double-cut. 56 00:02:48,170 --> 00:02:50,204 ♪♪ 57 00:02:52,007 --> 00:02:53,495 Attention, fellow members _ 58 00:02:53,563 --> 00:02:56,187 of the Springfield chapter of Mensa. 59 00:02:56,255 --> 00:02:58,413 Mr. Burns has called us here 60 00:02:58,481 --> 00:03:02,466 to solve an unknown problem of global importance. 61 00:03:02,534 --> 00:03:05,239 But first, Tri-Ominoes! 62 00:03:05,307 --> 00:03:07,337 I say we write and solve our own acrostics. 63 00:03:07,405 --> 00:03:09,379 Yes, after we recite all the words 64 00:03:09,447 --> 00:03:11,071 in the Declaration of Independence 65 00:03:11,139 --> 00:03:12,580 in alphabetical order. 66 00:03:12,648 --> 00:03:16,346 All: A, A, A, A, A, A. 67 00:03:16,414 --> 00:03:19,643 - Abdicated. Abolish. Abolishing. - Abdicated. Abolish. Abolishing. 68 00:03:19,711 --> 00:03:21,875 - Absolute. Absolved. - Absolute. Absolved. 69 00:03:21,943 --> 00:03:23,150 Silence, you thinkertons. 70 00:03:23,218 --> 00:03:25,765 I summoned you here because the world is about to end. 71 00:03:25,833 --> 00:03:27,787 No, it isn't. What are you afraid of? 72 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,342 Global warming? 73 00:03:29,988 --> 00:03:32,967 A.I.? Some sort of plague? 74 00:03:35,646 --> 00:03:38,595 As smarty-pantalones, I am asking you to help with 75 00:03:38,663 --> 00:03:41,011 the Montgomery Burns Doomsday Ark. 76 00:03:41,079 --> 00:03:43,663 This space vehicle will lead humanity's best and brightest 77 00:03:43,731 --> 00:03:46,443 to a better life under my stern rule. 78 00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:48,809 Oh, gee heavens. 79 00:03:48,992 --> 00:03:51,375 Will there be someone for your more personal needs? 80 00:03:51,478 --> 00:03:53,942 Concubines. Many concubines. 81 00:03:54,058 --> 00:03:55,358 I'll work my way in. 82 00:03:55,426 --> 00:03:57,501 I need you to tell me who is worthy 83 00:03:57,588 --> 00:03:59,464 of surviving the apocalypse with me. 84 00:03:59,551 --> 00:04:03,197 I only want the sharpest razors in this town's Halloween candy. 85 00:04:03,292 --> 00:04:06,204 Oh, don't worry, Mr. Burns, this is what Mensa does best... 86 00:04:06,272 --> 00:04:08,036 make everyone else feel stupid. 87 00:04:08,107 --> 00:04:10,049 The only word in English 88 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,758 with three consecutive double letters is... 89 00:04:12,826 --> 00:04:13,885 - Oh, um... - Um... 90 00:04:13,956 --> 00:04:15,017 Um, "gooseberry." 91 00:04:15,085 --> 00:04:16,675 No, "coffee." Coffee-oo. 92 00:04:16,743 --> 00:04:19,339 - Uh, balloon-an-ing. - Bookkeeper. 93 00:04:19,407 --> 00:04:20,591 - Damn it. - Ha! 94 00:04:20,659 --> 00:04:22,638 It's simple. All we need to do is 95 00:04:22,706 --> 00:04:24,893 give everyone in town an IQ test. 96 00:04:24,962 --> 00:04:26,814 The highest scores get on the ark... 97 00:04:26,909 --> 00:04:28,649 Mensa members grandfathered in. 98 00:04:28,717 --> 00:04:30,077 Sounds good to me. 99 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,548 Grandfathered! 100 00:04:31,627 --> 00:04:33,994 Not so fast. Flavin. 101 00:04:34,123 --> 00:04:36,881 Being intelligent people, I am quite sure 102 00:04:36,949 --> 00:04:38,216 that you will take this well. 103 00:04:38,284 --> 00:04:40,276 IQs are meaningless. 104 00:04:40,344 --> 00:04:41,744 Heresy! 105 00:04:41,821 --> 00:04:43,373 I have the ultimate test 106 00:04:43,441 --> 00:04:46,087 that measures something far more significant: 107 00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:49,806 your overall worth as a human. 108 00:04:49,874 --> 00:04:51,133 Impossible. 109 00:04:51,201 --> 00:04:53,050 Intelligence is the only quotient 110 00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,804 that tells you how important you are. 111 00:04:54,875 --> 00:04:58,656 Ask any of us who did well on a test we took when we were six. 112 00:05:01,365 --> 00:05:04,500 Well, you may be the brightest, but you are not the best. 113 00:05:04,590 --> 00:05:07,888 Your worthiness as a human being is best measured, people, 114 00:05:07,956 --> 00:05:11,995 by the Personal Value Quotient. That's P.V.Q. 115 00:05:12,109 --> 00:05:14,697 Oh! Ow! All right, enough with the pelting 116 00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:16,645 and the bonking and the compass in my neck. 117 00:05:16,714 --> 00:05:18,727 Garvik. In order to defuse 118 00:05:18,795 --> 00:05:19,987 your obvious hostilities, 119 00:05:20,055 --> 00:05:22,684 I will make my presentation entertaining, all right? 120 00:05:22,752 --> 00:05:26,638 With a one, and a two, and a 3.14159. 121 00:05:26,963 --> 00:05:29,943 Forgive me if it seems like I'm attacking, 122 00:05:30,047 --> 00:05:32,328 but I find the old IQ test 123 00:05:32,396 --> 00:05:33,529 badly lacking. 124 00:05:33,597 --> 00:05:36,532 If you want to find out just what someone can do, 125 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:41,370 you need to learn that subject's P.V.Q. 126 00:05:41,439 --> 00:05:43,405 ♪♪ 127 00:05:43,474 --> 00:05:46,311 ♪ It tests for ♪ 128 00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:49,992 ♪ Sympathy and empathy ♪ ♪ and group collaboration ♪ 129 00:05:50,147 --> 00:05:53,716 ♪ Artistry and neatness ♪ ♪ and complex socialization ♪ 130 00:05:53,783 --> 00:05:57,186 ♪ And every single aspect ♪ ♪ of a personality ♪ 131 00:05:57,254 --> 00:05:59,288 ♪ Hey, the P.V.Q. ♪ 132 00:05:59,357 --> 00:06:02,669 ♪ Is A.O.K. with me ♪ 133 00:06:03,534 --> 00:06:05,794 ♪♪ 134 00:06:05,925 --> 00:06:08,937 ♪ It tests for sarcasm and prudence ♪ 135 00:06:09,048 --> 00:06:11,033 ♪ Not if you're Isaac Newton ♪ 136 00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:12,568 ♪ Confidence, ambition ♪ 137 00:06:12,636 --> 00:06:14,371 ♪ And the teams for whom ♪ ♪ you're rootin' ♪ 138 00:06:14,438 --> 00:06:16,505 ♪ So it's all the little foibles ♪ 139 00:06:16,574 --> 00:06:18,140 ♪ That can make a person whole ♪ 140 00:06:18,209 --> 00:06:20,342 ♪ Trust the P.V.Q. ♪ 141 00:06:20,411 --> 00:06:24,823 ♪ The yardstick for the soul ♪ 142 00:06:31,455 --> 00:06:33,555 ♪ Now, people, you're all geniuses ♪ 143 00:06:33,624 --> 00:06:35,324 - Oh, please... - My, my, well, thank you. 144 00:06:35,393 --> 00:06:37,259 ♪ You can see this is no lark ♪ 145 00:06:37,328 --> 00:06:40,998 ♪ Emotional intelligence ♪ ♪ is needed for the ark ♪ 146 00:06:41,221 --> 00:06:42,969 - Uh-huh. - Hmm... 147 00:06:48,352 --> 00:06:50,452 ♪♪ 148 00:06:50,641 --> 00:06:52,801 ♪ You mean earnestness and ego ♪ 149 00:06:52,869 --> 00:06:54,576 ♪ And if they make a mean burrito ♪ 150 00:06:54,645 --> 00:06:56,460 ♪ And the social grace to know ♪ 151 00:06:56,579 --> 00:06:58,580 ♪ When not to wear a Speedo ♪ 152 00:06:58,649 --> 00:07:01,678 ♪ Every trait that integrates ♪ ♪ a winning personality ♪ 153 00:07:01,773 --> 00:07:03,658 ♪ Yes, the P.V.Q. ♪ _ 154 00:07:03,793 --> 00:07:07,222 ♪ Is what we'll do to find out who ♪ 155 00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:08,910 ♪ Will see us through ♪ 156 00:07:08,978 --> 00:07:10,870 ♪ Yes, the P.V.Q. ♪ 157 00:07:10,989 --> 00:07:13,658 ♪ Is A.O.K. ♪ 158 00:07:13,964 --> 00:07:17,099 ♪ With me... ♪ 159 00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:20,137 Oivik! 160 00:07:20,204 --> 00:07:22,438 Anyone have a song in rebuttal? 161 00:07:22,507 --> 00:07:25,536 ♪ You got to have hear... ♪ 162 00:07:25,604 --> 00:07:26,608 Oh, balderdash. 163 00:07:26,677 --> 00:07:28,043 We're going with this man's test. 164 00:07:28,112 --> 00:07:30,145 - Oh, wonderful. - To determine who is worthy 165 00:07:30,214 --> 00:07:31,880 of a seat on my ark. 166 00:07:31,950 --> 00:07:34,186 Uh, but, sir, how do we get everyone in town 167 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,345 to take a test without telling them what it's about? 168 00:07:38,244 --> 00:07:40,293 Mandatory test. 169 00:07:40,361 --> 00:07:42,127 Mandatory test! 170 00:07:42,218 --> 00:07:45,409 Mandatory for everyone not ringing a bell. 171 00:07:48,232 --> 00:07:49,827 What's the point of this test again? 172 00:07:49,915 --> 00:07:51,453 The way I look at it, the more things 173 00:07:51,521 --> 00:07:54,105 secret corporations know about us, the better, huh? 174 00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:55,878 I like when drones show up bringing me things 175 00:07:55,945 --> 00:07:57,272 I needed but didn't know. 176 00:07:57,373 --> 00:07:59,077 Hmm. 177 00:07:59,255 --> 00:08:01,077 Wow, I am out of deodorant. 178 00:08:01,145 --> 00:08:02,277 We all knew. 179 00:08:02,346 --> 00:08:04,597 Remove all stray marks. 180 00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:06,513 Number two pencil only. 181 00:08:06,614 --> 00:08:08,785 And for God's sake, relax! _ 182 00:08:08,853 --> 00:08:11,631 This question asks about the price of underwear, 183 00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:14,423 as if I were some landed aristocrat. 184 00:08:14,492 --> 00:08:16,462 Hey, can I copy off you? 185 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:17,729 Be my guest. 186 00:08:21,374 --> 00:08:24,933 "Day is to night as early is to..." 187 00:08:25,002 --> 00:08:27,302 Late. Booyah! 188 00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:31,373 Booyah! 189 00:08:34,111 --> 00:08:35,610 Booyah! 190 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:41,480 The one test I don't bring my earmuffs. 191 00:08:41,619 --> 00:08:42,986 The results are in. 192 00:08:43,053 --> 00:08:44,820 The newest and most accurate measure 193 00:08:44,895 --> 00:08:47,604 of our intelligence on a scale from one to 500... 194 00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:49,525 500 being best. 195 00:08:49,593 --> 00:08:52,027 - Boring. - Don't shut it off. 196 00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:53,529 I need my score. 197 00:08:55,699 --> 00:08:57,332 Thank you. 198 00:08:57,401 --> 00:08:59,868 Now we'll run everyone's scores past the screen really fast, 199 00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:01,745 from best to worst, trusting that you'll pause 200 00:09:01,813 --> 00:09:03,559 at only your name. 201 00:09:04,775 --> 00:09:06,372 Pause it! 202 00:09:07,177 --> 00:09:10,383 475, my sweet spot. Excellent. 203 00:09:10,463 --> 00:09:12,037 But room to improve. 204 00:09:13,881 --> 00:09:17,287 What?! I am one below Ralph? Ralph? 205 00:09:17,354 --> 00:09:20,117 Honey, it doesn't mean Ralph's smarter than you. 206 00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:23,534 It just means he's a more valuable person. 207 00:09:23,701 --> 00:09:26,203 - Ralph? - Keep scrolling. 208 00:09:27,298 --> 00:09:29,731 Ooh, 311. 209 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,367 Above average, but not enough to make people mad. 210 00:09:32,436 --> 00:09:35,837 And, it's the number you call to complain about potholes. 211 00:09:35,906 --> 00:09:39,741 Ooh. "H. Simpson: 265." 212 00:09:39,810 --> 00:09:42,048 Exactly the number of days in a year. 213 00:09:42,980 --> 00:09:45,098 Well, that's good. Let's change the channel. 214 00:09:45,166 --> 00:09:46,677 But we don't know your score. 215 00:09:46,756 --> 00:09:48,655 Like I said, that's good. 216 00:09:48,746 --> 00:09:51,947 Hmm, not there. Not there. Not there. 217 00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:04,365 I don't need any test. 218 00:10:04,433 --> 00:10:06,168 I'm street-smart. 219 00:10:07,579 --> 00:10:09,014 Haw-haw! 220 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,833 I refuse to accept that my little guy has no future. 221 00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:18,250 He can learn how to put in adding machine tape. 222 00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:20,273 That's how I got through the Depression, 223 00:10:20,341 --> 00:10:22,788 and letting the FBI know which bugle boys 224 00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:24,767 were about to turn boogie-woogie. 225 00:10:24,886 --> 00:10:26,457 We're not giving up on Bart. 226 00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,503 And I'm not giving up on you, Homer. 227 00:10:28,571 --> 00:10:30,394 What, you're still trying? In what way? 228 00:10:30,461 --> 00:10:33,197 My will is 38 pages of me yelling at you. 229 00:10:33,485 --> 00:10:35,153 Ooh, I'm in the will. 230 00:10:38,963 --> 00:10:41,197 Charles. Listen to me, Charles. 231 00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:42,782 Not now, Satan. 232 00:10:42,861 --> 00:10:45,157 I'm not Satan, I'm Orson Welles. 233 00:10:45,252 --> 00:10:48,129 Satan would sell wine before its time. 234 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:51,715 Yes. Now, have you taken my warning seriously? 235 00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:53,717 Oh, but I did. I've already started the ark. 236 00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:55,676 Very good. Now I must go. 237 00:10:55,747 --> 00:10:57,777 God commissioned me to direct a rainbow, 238 00:10:57,845 --> 00:11:00,014 and I've spent half my budget on indigo. 239 00:11:00,101 --> 00:11:02,699 The only answer is to play "red" myself. 240 00:11:02,774 --> 00:11:03,944 Smithers. 241 00:11:04,340 --> 00:11:06,657 Speed up production on the ark. Put everyone on it. 242 00:11:06,752 --> 00:11:09,261 Ply them with all the rum and salt it takes. 243 00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:18,462 Eh, there's no nap like a scaffold nap. 244 00:11:20,782 --> 00:11:22,621 Hey, what do you think we're building, anyway? 245 00:11:22,744 --> 00:11:24,797 I'm betting it's a new Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 246 00:11:24,877 --> 00:11:26,815 Maybe this one will keep somebody out. 247 00:11:27,952 --> 00:11:30,063 How can Ralph score higher than me? 248 00:11:30,143 --> 00:11:31,785 That's-that's just wrong. 249 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,858 But all my self-esteem comes from tests. 250 00:11:34,926 --> 00:11:37,914 Should I really be pulling on this string? 251 00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:40,498 I am not worse than Ralph! 252 00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:45,129 - Hi, Ralph. - Hi, Ralph. 253 00:11:45,252 --> 00:11:47,042 - Hi, Ralph. - Hi, Ralph. 254 00:11:47,129 --> 00:11:49,807 I miss the string through my ears. 255 00:11:51,298 --> 00:11:52,631 All right, Lisa. 256 00:11:52,699 --> 00:11:54,987 Watch, do not judge. 257 00:11:56,076 --> 00:11:58,238 What makes him superior? _ 258 00:12:00,292 --> 00:12:02,007 Whee! 259 00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:04,544 I'm okay. 260 00:12:06,619 --> 00:12:08,561 You have reached the Wiggum residence. 261 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:11,401 If Ralph is stuck in something, press one. 262 00:12:11,504 --> 00:12:14,039 If something is stuck in Ralph, press two. 263 00:12:14,198 --> 00:12:17,677 If this is Ralph, Daddy is not in the phone. 264 00:12:17,748 --> 00:12:20,504 Do not open the phone looking for me. 265 00:12:20,743 --> 00:12:21,873 What are you doing? 266 00:12:21,984 --> 00:12:23,359 The only thing I'm good at. 267 00:12:23,454 --> 00:12:24,521 Nothing. 268 00:12:24,589 --> 00:12:25,615 That tears it. 269 00:12:25,726 --> 00:12:27,438 We're going to see Professor Frink, 270 00:12:27,506 --> 00:12:30,472 and find out exactly what happened on that test. 271 00:12:30,572 --> 00:12:32,085 Got a little present for you, Bart. 272 00:12:32,153 --> 00:12:35,018 It's called The Bible For The Slow. Mm? 273 00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:36,924 He's not going to take it. 274 00:12:36,992 --> 00:12:38,334 Okily-dokily. 275 00:12:38,405 --> 00:12:41,853 Professor Frink, your stupid test ruined my son's life. 276 00:12:41,921 --> 00:12:43,878 Hey, that test is like a son to me. 277 00:12:43,946 --> 00:12:45,696 I raised it from a quiz. 278 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,528 I've known my son since he was born, 279 00:12:47,687 --> 00:12:50,017 and he's not anywhere near as stupid 280 00:12:50,085 --> 00:12:52,059 as your stupid test says he is. 281 00:12:52,127 --> 00:12:55,939 And if you think so, you're stupid, stupid, stupid! 282 00:12:56,156 --> 00:12:57,753 Wow, Marge. 283 00:12:57,832 --> 00:12:59,945 You really love Bart. 284 00:13:00,024 --> 00:13:02,179 All right, all right, let me recheck it. 285 00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:04,131 Uh, rechecking, rechecking. 286 00:13:04,199 --> 00:13:05,382 Put-upon sigh. 287 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:06,517 Oivik. 288 00:13:06,584 --> 00:13:08,755 Rechecking... ah, here we are. 289 00:13:08,823 --> 00:13:10,157 Uh, Simpson, B. 290 00:13:11,104 --> 00:13:12,796 That's not a "B." 291 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,227 Well, yes, it is, you see, the two... 292 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,827 oh, my garvik! 293 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:19,082 There was a mistake. Well, your son 294 00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:20,884 has above-average intelligence. 295 00:13:21,039 --> 00:13:22,305 You did it, boy. 296 00:13:22,373 --> 00:13:23,820 No, that just looks like a "B." 297 00:13:23,888 --> 00:13:26,055 The real unfortunate is H. Simpson. 298 00:13:26,135 --> 00:13:27,994 I mean, what a clod! 299 00:13:28,089 --> 00:13:31,180 Worst handwriting and brain in town. 300 00:13:31,259 --> 00:13:32,261 - D'oh! - Hey! 301 00:13:32,372 --> 00:13:33,539 I'm H. Simpson. 302 00:13:33,619 --> 00:13:35,282 Oh, well, it's very nice to meet you. 303 00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:36,466 Would you like some water? 304 00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:37,741 - Smartwater? - No. 305 00:13:41,558 --> 00:13:43,363 - Homie, aren't you coming? - Bye-bye. 306 00:13:43,430 --> 00:13:46,324 I can't. I'll be a laughing stock when everyone finds out 307 00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,317 I'm the stupidest man in town. 308 00:13:48,507 --> 00:13:50,060 How are they gonna find out? 309 00:13:50,128 --> 00:13:51,228 I just tweeted it. 310 00:13:51,296 --> 00:13:53,927 Marge, you have to get ahead of these stories. 311 00:13:58,558 --> 00:14:00,715 I'm sorry, sir, you belong here. 312 00:14:00,783 --> 00:14:02,438 Oh! Oh. 313 00:14:08,474 --> 00:14:09,899 Look thou be true. 314 00:14:09,967 --> 00:14:11,464 Do not give dalliance. 315 00:14:11,532 --> 00:14:13,633 Too much of the rein. 316 00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:18,492 Why does Oscar skate in his trash can? _ 317 00:14:18,579 --> 00:14:19,791 It makes no sense! 318 00:14:21,838 --> 00:14:23,751 I'll cheer up here. _ 319 00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,840 One "stupid," please? 320 00:14:27,191 --> 00:14:28,939 Okay, you gave me $40. 321 00:14:29,058 --> 00:14:30,238 Here's two dollars back. 322 00:14:30,306 --> 00:14:32,077 Unless you want splash insurance. 323 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,445 - How much is that? - Another ten. 324 00:14:34,532 --> 00:14:35,680 Uh, here's $20. 325 00:14:35,898 --> 00:14:37,670 And two more for you. 326 00:14:42,732 --> 00:14:44,583 Insurance doesn't cover entryway splashes. 327 00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:45,860 D'oh! 328 00:14:45,961 --> 00:14:49,253 Hey, Homer, uh, we was watching Jeopardy!, but, uh, 329 00:14:49,404 --> 00:14:51,854 tell you what, we'll just talk about shapes and colors now. 330 00:14:52,042 --> 00:14:54,163 I like blue rectangles. 331 00:14:54,330 --> 00:14:56,133 Rectangles. You know, Homer. 332 00:14:56,323 --> 00:14:58,055 The ones with four sides. 333 00:14:58,260 --> 00:15:00,013 Listen, you. 334 00:15:00,081 --> 00:15:02,942 I've known my shapes since I was 16! 335 00:15:03,053 --> 00:15:05,723 Put him down, Homer, and I'll give you a cookie. 336 00:15:05,953 --> 00:15:07,415 That's a coaster. 337 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,429 Ooh! Dummy's wising up. 338 00:15:09,497 --> 00:15:11,040 I'll take the cookie. 339 00:15:11,229 --> 00:15:15,359 I never thought I'd say this, but I'm too depressed for Moe's. 340 00:15:21,899 --> 00:15:23,218 Heya, Homer. 341 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,419 I'm sorry. I know I'm taking up too much of the bed. 342 00:15:26,570 --> 00:15:27,937 Oh, sweetie. 343 00:15:28,016 --> 00:15:31,388 What the entire world thinks doesn't affect how I see you. 344 00:15:31,456 --> 00:15:33,151 Well, how do you see me? 345 00:15:33,219 --> 00:15:36,632 The hair and body of a dashing Friar Tuck. 346 00:15:36,779 --> 00:15:40,045 Ooh. 347 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,404 But what about my brains? 348 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:44,178 My favorite character in The Wizard of Oz 349 00:15:44,246 --> 00:15:46,576 was always the Scarecrow. 350 00:15:46,766 --> 00:15:48,534 I knew it. Thanks to that test, 351 00:15:48,602 --> 00:15:50,822 you see me as stupid first and Homer third. 352 00:15:50,890 --> 00:15:51,844 I mean, second. 353 00:15:51,931 --> 00:15:54,004 - I know second. - I won't let you give up. 354 00:15:54,075 --> 00:15:56,237 We're going to start improving you. 355 00:15:56,396 --> 00:15:58,456 Oh, Marge. No one ever did anything useful 356 00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,100 after the age of 39. 357 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,960 George W. Bush sobered up. 358 00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,240 And became president. 359 00:16:03,308 --> 00:16:04,897 Too huge mistakes. 360 00:16:05,039 --> 00:16:06,536 Homie, this whole mix-up happened 361 00:16:06,604 --> 00:16:08,631 because of your sloppy handwriting. 362 00:16:08,766 --> 00:16:11,690 We'll start with that, improving your handwriting. 363 00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:15,177 Right now, my hand just wants to crawl in my pocket and cry. 364 00:16:15,296 --> 00:16:18,339 Now this hand is jealous. 365 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:19,969 Mwah. 366 00:16:20,072 --> 00:16:21,870 I know where this is going. 367 00:16:21,938 --> 00:16:25,959 Um, I do, too, but you say it first. 368 00:16:26,077 --> 00:16:27,285 Snuggling. 369 00:16:27,781 --> 00:16:29,112 Ooh. 370 00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:35,892 What is his secret? What is his secret?! 371 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,793 I'm going to Dizzyland. 372 00:16:37,860 --> 00:16:41,150 ♪♪ 373 00:16:45,885 --> 00:16:47,604 Want to see me do a cartwheel? 374 00:16:47,672 --> 00:16:49,622 - No! No, no, no! - Good point. 375 00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:52,141 On the other hand, whee! 376 00:16:53,878 --> 00:16:56,225 Don't worry, Lou, I've seen that in cartoons. 377 00:16:56,293 --> 00:16:59,145 Swee'Pea, Mr. Magoo, they were fine. 378 00:16:59,248 --> 00:17:00,737 What about Sylvester the Cat? 379 00:17:00,805 --> 00:17:02,817 Never be a cat in a cartoon, Lou. 380 00:17:02,982 --> 00:17:04,116 Never. 381 00:17:10,661 --> 00:17:12,329 The beam must have a fulcrum I can move to 382 00:17:12,396 --> 00:17:13,495 that would stabilize it. 383 00:17:13,564 --> 00:17:15,697 Think, Lisa, think. 384 00:17:19,136 --> 00:17:20,436 Oh! 385 00:17:25,459 --> 00:17:27,162 Two for two. 386 00:17:28,987 --> 00:17:32,625 Young man, didn't I tell you to sit and stay in that house? 387 00:17:32,713 --> 00:17:34,544 I thought you were talking to the dog. 388 00:17:34,612 --> 00:17:35,684 We don't have a dog. 389 00:17:35,753 --> 00:17:37,742 Then what's been pooping in my bedroom? 390 00:17:37,909 --> 00:17:41,690 Professor, how on Earth did he get a higher score than me? 391 00:17:41,802 --> 00:17:45,822 Okay, Lisa, I am going to give you ten more points 392 00:17:45,988 --> 00:17:48,256 for one of the most important skills of all: 393 00:17:48,324 --> 00:17:52,447 discovering huge flaws in my test without telling anyone. 394 00:17:53,704 --> 00:17:56,447 You mean, after all this, after all I've gone through, 395 00:17:56,515 --> 00:17:59,983 you're just gonna fudge my score and I should be happy? 396 00:18:00,051 --> 00:18:02,780 Well, after all, that's how I got into, uh... 397 00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:04,186 Oh, I can't say it. 398 00:18:04,254 --> 00:18:05,529 The lowest of the Ivys. 399 00:18:05,597 --> 00:18:07,228 Oh, God, help me... Cornell! 400 00:18:07,296 --> 00:18:08,555 Cornell! God! 401 00:18:08,623 --> 00:18:09,755 It's okay, you're fine. 402 00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:10,886 Oh, gloyvik. 403 00:18:11,055 --> 00:18:13,076 Okay, Homie, buckle up. 404 00:18:13,144 --> 00:18:16,792 Because there's no limit to how neat your handwriting can get. 405 00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:17,875 Marge, I don't know. 406 00:18:17,943 --> 00:18:20,064 You can't teach an old dog new tricks. 407 00:18:20,159 --> 00:18:23,132 ♪♪ 408 00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:24,906 I'll help you. 409 00:18:24,974 --> 00:18:27,219 ♪ Whoa ♪ 410 00:18:27,287 --> 00:18:29,638 ♪ My love... ♪ 411 00:18:29,796 --> 00:18:32,452 Lisa, turn off that oldies station! 412 00:18:32,594 --> 00:18:34,194 ♪ My darl... ♪ 413 00:18:57,655 --> 00:18:58,841 Dearest Marjorie, 414 00:18:58,909 --> 00:19:01,625 what words are adequate to describe your beauty? 415 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,706 Like, a bowling ball, fresh out of a polisher. 416 00:19:04,873 --> 00:19:05,974 Oh. 417 00:19:06,042 --> 00:19:07,309 I've always dreamed 418 00:19:07,378 --> 00:19:10,539 Homie would write me cursive love letters. 419 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:20,407 You are as beautiful as your sisters are hideous. 420 00:19:20,510 --> 00:19:22,052 Oh... 421 00:19:23,827 --> 00:19:26,366 ♪♪ 422 00:19:28,949 --> 00:19:30,752 Oh, Homie. 423 00:19:30,831 --> 00:19:32,023 Mwah. Oh. 424 00:19:32,103 --> 00:19:34,144 I'm married to a writer. 425 00:19:34,449 --> 00:19:35,716 I really am. 426 00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:45,071 Welcome, all of you. 427 00:19:45,139 --> 00:19:46,800 You are the chosen people. 428 00:19:46,911 --> 00:19:49,209 Chosen to be my slaves. 429 00:19:49,278 --> 00:19:51,234 I am no one's slave. 430 00:19:51,302 --> 00:19:52,726 Well, doesn't matter what you think. 431 00:19:52,794 --> 00:19:53,932 The doors are sealed. 432 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,309 Not this one. 433 00:19:55,377 --> 00:19:59,210 Wait, wait, you haven't heard about the retirement plan. 434 00:19:59,369 --> 00:20:00,839 There isn't one. 435 00:20:01,649 --> 00:20:02,916 Fine, I don't need them. 436 00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:04,391 I don't need anyone. 437 00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:11,166 Oh. Why did you have me go back for your slippers? 438 00:20:11,397 --> 00:20:13,756 How could you turn on me so quickly? 439 00:20:14,053 --> 00:20:17,180 ♪♪ Subs Text Source : Addic7ed.com 31240

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