Original subtitles

[x-powder ringing]

[theme music]

[explosion]

-Mm, huh?

Sweet!

[typing]

COMPUTER: To experience the perfect union between human

and technology, simply put on the neuro-helmet.

-Huh?

[screams]

-Huh?

[screams]

-Hello!

We're like totally lounging, here!

-Hm.

Ugh!

-Uh?

-Oh, score!

Look, a quarter!

[growling]

-Alex, you've been tying up the bathroom

for, like, three hours.

I'm coming in!

Ugh!

Hm.

-I found a place that buys hair by the inch.

How much do you think I can cut before I look like a boy?

[growling]

-Um.

-Ugh!

Uh.

Agh!

Ugh!

I wasn't done with that!

-Really?

Sorry, I'll get you another.

Oopsy, I can be so clumsy.

You want another?

By the way, do you know how much the recycling center pays

per bottle?

-That's it!

It's on.

-Clover, I'm--I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation

why Alex is acting like a total wacko.

Right, Alex?

-I'm sorry, guys.

It's just that I need some cash, bad!

After my parents left on vacation, I kinda ran out.

-Well, what about your allowance?

-Girl's got needs.

New mega-grip rock climbing shoes, 3D boy candy trading

cards, and have you seen the price of latte scented candles

these days?

-Um, color me obvious, but what about getting a job?

-So not an option.

A job would mean a boss, and you know I don't

do well with bosses.

-Alex, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times.

Now look here, you, I can't understand what's

the matter with you.

Why you can't--

-That's a major understatement.

-Yeah.

Don't you worry your pretty little face.

We'll personally make sure that you get

a really nice boss.

-Ugh!

Free sample of Captain Cluck's chicken wads, the

one with the clack.

[laughter]

-Ugh!

-So, how's our little spring chicken?

-You guys are so, not helping.

-Look out, Sam, she might peck at us.

[laughter]

-Have you even tried one those things?

They taste like, like--

-Alex, I'm not paying you to gossip with your friends.

You're here to push the poultry.

-Yes, sir.

-Good, now cluck like a chicken.

-Cluck.

-Cluck like a chicken about to lose her job.

-Cluck, cluck, cluck.

-Excellent.

Now get back to work!

-Er!

-Easy, Alex.

-Yeah, don't let him ruffle your feathers.

[giggling]

[screams]

-Oh!

-Hello, ladies, and um, chicken.

[laughter]

-Ha, ha, very funny.

Was that your one joke of the year, Jerry?

-Girls, your mission will be to infiltrate an

evil chicken farm.

[laughter]

-I'm just kidding.

Ha, ha, ha.

Actually, a number of people have been disappearing.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Ugh!

You mean a number of nerdy people.

-Oh, boy, geek rescue.

[beeping]

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Check it out!

I cross-referenced their names and it turns out that they

were all logged in at the same cyber cafe.

-Good work, Sam.

You can start there.

Now for your gadgets.

You will be equipped with Infrared Motion Detector

Sunglasses, Faux Snakeskin Suction Boots.

[gasp]

-Hm?

And an Electro Hairnet.

Don't wear this in the shower, you'll get quite a shock.

GLADIS: And I added the Magnetron Haircurler.

-GLADIS, I thought we had a talk about this.

GLADIS: We did, Jerry.

I just decided to ignore you.

A new device that will attract any metal object to it, like a

super powerful electromagnet.

-Ooh, a hair curler!

You read my mind.

[shriek]

-Farewell, girls.

GLADIS: And good luck.

-Whoa!

-Whoa, it's empty.

I guess this place is too geeky, even for geeks.

-Yeah.

We won't need our disguises after all.

-Huh?

Huh, looks like a pretty normal cyber cafe to me.

Let's take a look around.

-Find anything?

-Not yet, just poking around through some files, trying to

see who used this machine last.

[beeping]

-Password?

Oh, please!

I'll show you a password.

[gasp]

-Agh!

Whoa!

-Face-hugger alert!

-It hasn't given up, yet.

-That thing took a jump on me.

Brain much.

-Help us!

-It went this way!

-Now I think it's over here.

[gulp]

Uh, guys, I found it.

Uh, guys?

-Ha!

That'll teach you to keep your tentacles to yourself.

-Jerry will want to take a look this.

-Whoa!

I have to get going.

I only get an hour break before I have to be back in

that stupid chicken suit.

Free samples of Captain Cluck.

-Well, I'd like to know what that spider thing

was trying to do.

Talk about creepy.

-I wouldn't be surprised if it was linked to those

disappearances, somehow.

-Don't miss our new Cajun chicken blends.

The great taste of chicken, now in a drink.

MANDY (OFFSCREEN): Ah, ha.

There's something different about you.

-Uh, oh.

-Let me guess, you've done something

different with your hair?

That's not it.

Hm?

[gasp]

Could it be that you're wearing a

pathetic chicken suit?

I almost feel sorry.

Busting on you today is like shooting fish in a barrel.

-It's not what it looks like.

I mean, it is a chicken suit, but it's, um, well, it's for

charity. you know, the Chicken-Suit-A-Thon.

-Hey, so what you doing?

You gotta be nice to the customers.

I'm sorry, miss, here's a coupon for a free

chicken-on-a-stick.

-Whatever!

Bawk, bawk, ba, gaw!

I'm outta here!

-Alex, if you mess up one more time you outta here.

-Oh, yeah?

I can't think of anything I'd like better.

-What Alex means is, uh, she-- she can't think of anything

she'd like better than giving away more chicken.

Ha, ha.

[x-powder ringing]

-Ah, girls, at the mall, I see.

Quelle surprise.

-Uh, sorry.

The Museum of Ancient Boredom was closed today.

-In any case, the analysis of that

spider device is complete.

It's some kind of neural interface device designed to

form a link between the human brain and a computer.

-Do we know where it came from?

-It bears the manufacturing mark of Tetsuo

Industries of Japan.

The owner, Tetsuo Takara, is known as a

genius electronics designer.

-Hey, I think that guy designed one of my favorite

video games, Turbo Ninja Monkey Attack.

-Mm, nerd much?

[giggling]

-Get this, if you cross-reference Tetsuo's name

with the real estate database, you discover that Tetsuo owns

that cyber cafe in Vancouver.

-Looks like you're off to Japan.

Sayonara!

-Whoa!

-Look at the armed guards and search lights.

This place is a fortress.

-OK, well, we can't get in like this.

We need a disguise.

-Well, this is a computer factory, right?

So we need to dress like total nerds.

[flash]

-OK, this is way nerdy, even by my standards.

Let's do it.

-Whoa!

When did geeks get so ungeeky?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Yeah, those guys look almost cool.

-Hello!

They're still geeks, remember.

We just need a quick adjustment.

-These are totally fab!

I might take one home with me.

-Come on.

[humming]

-Do you hear that?

-Yeah.

The humming seems to be coming from that way.

-Whoa, heads up!

Come on.

Strange, why would a hallway just end like that?

No.

There's a seam in the wall.

-Someone's coming.

Hide!

COMPUTER: Identification verified.

-Uh, I think we need another way in.

-Over here.

[grunts]

-Ready?

1, 2, 3, heave.

-Ugh!

Great job.

[beep]

-You first.

-Um.

-Achoo!

-Shh.

-Haven't these people ever heard of dusting?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): We found our nerds.

[typing on computer keyboards]

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): They're beyond nerds.

They're techo-zombies.

[typing on computer keyboards]

-There's Tetsuo.

[gasp]

SAM (OFFSCREEN): That neural interface lets him control

these people.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): But the real question is, what's he

making those to techo-zombies build?

[gasps]

-Ow!

Ugh!

Hiya!

Huh?

Hm?

-Ha, ha, ha, ha.

[beep]

[buzz]

-Huh?

-Agh!

Hiya!

Whoa!

-Huh, ugh!

-Ooh!

-Uh, I don't want to be a party pooper, but we're not

exactly welcome here.

-Point taken.

Let's go!

-Hiya!

Huh, uh!

Agh!

-Agh!

Uh, you got lucky, buddy.

[beeping]

-Agh!

Argh!

Argh!

-Whoa!

Ugh!

Ugh!

Oh, thanks, Sam.

You're a pal.

-Oh, this is becoming a painful habit.

Wait, where's Clover?

[screams]

[gasps]

[buzzing]

-Ho.

Ah, ee.

-Phew.

Come on, who knows what they're doing to Clover.

What do we do now?

[gasp]

-Come on.

-Where's Clover?

-And where did all the zombie nerds go?

It's not like they have dates, or anything.

-This is weird.

-OK.

This is way past weird.

This is officially bizarro!

[gasps]

[choking]

-Wow!

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): What did they do to Clover?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Ew, gross.

-This is getting out of hand.

Time to call in some backup.

-Right.

[dialing x-powder]

[gasp]

-Jerry?

-It's so wonderful, girls.

-Turn off the X-Powder.

-[gasp]

Ugh!

Argh!

It's for the best, Alex.

Becoming one with the computer collective is so liberating.

-Agh!

Ugh, oh.

-It all makes sense now.

[grunts]

-Ow, stop doing that.

-Resistance is a waste of time.

-Zombie Sam, you've been working out.

Agh!

Ugh!

[gasp]

-You've got it, too.

-Did you really think you could out-think a computer?

-What are you trying to do, corner the

geek slavery market?

-Each of us has a brain that operates much like a computer

hard drive and processor, and it's wasted on fashion,

gossip, watching TV.

-Hello!

What else are we supposed to use our brains for?

-With this device data virus, I can turn you into a data

terminal, a node in my grand network!

-You're not just a geek, you're a total jerk geek.

-My device will broadcast the virus on every satellite,

radio and TV station, every cell tower.

No one will escape.

Not even you.

-Want to bet?

-Hm.

Why do they always try to resist?

[gasp]

[screams]

-Oh, I'm gonna be sore tomorrow.

-Ugh!

Uh.

-Come on, Sam.

Fight it!

It's me, Alex.

-Join us.

We need your brain.

-That's a first.

Oh, all right, plan, plan, need a plan.

A gadget, oh, that's what I need.

Com powder? powder No, no.

Lipstick?

Well, I do need a touch up.

Wait, no!

Magnetron, sorry, Sam.

-Ooh!

-Oops, he, he.

-Huah!

Ugh!

Ugh!

Whew.

W-- w-- what happened?

-Sam, are you OK?

Oh, you're back.

You must have returned to normal when you bumped your

head on that sign.

-Huh?

[gasp]

-Of course, it's the Magnetron!

Computers are super sensitive to magnets.

-Uh, do robot spiders count as computers?

[gasps]

-Only one way to find out.

Huh?

-I'm starting to think like a computer.

-Me too.

Let's shut this party down.

[gasp]

-Not quite, my soon to be computers.

-Whoa!

-Ha, ha, ha.

-Agh!

-Yeah?

Well this magnetron was designed for

maximum curling power.

We just need a little extra juice.

-You got full power!

Hit it!

-Clear the way, Sis.

This girl's got a date with destruction.

-Argh!

-Huh?

-Huh?

-Hello, well that was strange.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Yes!

It worked!

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Ow.

-I feel like I just rode the Spine Buster a hundred times.

-E-- excuse me, ladies, but can anybody tell me

what is going on?

-You don't remember?

The icky spiders?

The zombies?

Nothing?

-The-- the last thing I remember is coming across a

powerful new virus when I was surfing the web.

-We better get WOOHP to hunt down that virus before this

happens all over again.

-No doubt!

I've had my fill of battling techno-geeks.

No offense.

What?

-Just drag and drop the file into the new folder, and there

you go, your own website.

-Wow!

Like, I never thought it would be this easy.

-Oh, hey, we're sorry you got fired from your job in the

mall, Alex.

A chick like you deserves better.

[giggling]

-Yeah, we know you were an egg-ceptional employee.

-Who cares?

This new tutoring job is way better.

After our last mission, I'm practically a computer expert.

And the best part is, I'm in charge.

There's no boss telling me I'm late, or to stop gossiping,

because I'm the boss.

[beeping]

[gasp]

Uh, Alex, what do I do?

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): No problemo.

Just press this and this.

Agh!

Help!

Help!

This isn't supposed to happen.

Where's a boss when you need one?

-You know, it might not be too late to get your

chicken suit back.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Come on, don't get

your feathers ruffled.

[giggling]

-OK, so maybe Clover was right and I'm a total nerd bilingual

and geek-speak.

But hello!

Video game's rock. it's one thing to kick bad guy's butts

in real life, but try escaping the Trogs on Level 10 in

"Turbo Ninja Monkey Attack" when you've fired

off your last mir.

It's like total core voltage to the max!

And if you don't have at least seven lightning bolts

earned, game over.

The lightning bolts.

Huh?

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Nerd much?