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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,626 --> 00:00:29,529 ["So Alive" by Tiffany Alvord] 2 00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:39,072 ♪ I'm feeling alive ♪ 3 00:00:39,072 --> 00:00:40,673 ♪ I'm feeling a rush ♪ 4 00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:42,342 ♪ So energized ♪ 5 00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:45,645 ♪ Nothing is standing in my way ♪ 6 00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:47,313 ♪ I'm feeling the beat ♪ 7 00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:50,350 ♪ The beat of my heart ♪ 8 00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:53,620 ♪ I'm feeling a spark ♪ 9 00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,522 ♪ I'm feeling the flame ♪ 10 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,323 ♪ Lights up the dark ♪ 11 00:00:57,323 --> 00:01:00,760 ♪ Now I'm shining like the stars ♪ 12 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:06,733 ♪ It's something that I crave ♪ 13 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,769 ♪ I'm feeling so alive ♪ 14 00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:12,839 ♪ Like I'm on a sugar high ♪ 15 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:19,312 ♪ You can start believing if you try ♪ 16 00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:23,249 ♪ I'm feeling so alive ♪ 17 00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:25,685 ♪ Like I'm on a roller coaster ride ♪ 18 00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:28,088 ♪ Got my hands up ♪ 19 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,689 ♪ And I ain't stopping ♪ 20 00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:32,792 ♪ Tonight ♪ 21 00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:36,429 ♪ I'm feeling the clouds come down to earth ♪ 22 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,231 ♪ I'm floating around ♪ 23 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:41,734 ♪ Laughing so hard that it hurts ♪ 24 00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:45,205 ♪ It's just one of those perfect days ♪ 25 00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:49,709 ♪ I'm taking in it ♪ 26 00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:51,678 ♪ I forget to breathe ♪ 27 00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,246 ♪ It's bursting inside ♪ 28 00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:56,416 ♪ So much I can't even sleep ♪ 29 00:01:56,416 --> 00:02:02,322 ♪ I get lost in my own world ♪ 30 00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:05,725 ♪ I'm feeling so alive ♪ 31 00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:08,795 ♪ Like I'm on a sugar high ♪ 32 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:15,768 ♪ You can't stop me even if you try ♪ 33 00:02:15,768 --> 00:02:18,872 ♪ I'm feeling so alive ♪ 34 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,641 ♪ Like I'm on a roller coaster ride ♪ 35 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:25,578 ♪ Got my hands up and I ain't stopping ♪ 36 00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:28,515 ♪ Tonight ♪ 37 00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:31,684 ♪ No one's gonna stop me ♪ 38 00:02:31,684 --> 00:02:34,821 ♪ No one's gonna let you ♪ 39 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:40,193 ♪ 'Cause I feel so alive ♪ 40 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,531 ♪ So oh oh oh alive ♪ 41 00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:46,399 ♪ Oh oh oh oh... ♪ 42 00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:49,369 I never knew you had this kind of wild side, honey. 43 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:50,937 Are you sure you know what you're doing? 44 00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:53,907 Absolutely, you're going to be great at this. 45 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,475 [sneezes] 46 00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:58,711 Oh, here ya go! 47 00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,550 Why aren't you strapped to an instructor? 48 00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:06,653 I'm certified, I jump solo. 49 00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:07,754 Yeah? 50 00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,257 OK? 51 00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:14,761 But I'm, I'm not ready! [grunting] 52 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,829 All right, honey, we have to talk. 53 00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:18,765 -What? -I'm breaking up with you! 54 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,967 -You're what? -It's not you it's me! 55 00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:23,670 -What?! -There's an Uber waiting for you when you land! 56 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:27,340 [yells] 57 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:31,411 -OK. -[screams] 58 00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:35,381 ♪ Like I'm on a roller coaster ride ♪ 59 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,517 ♪ Got my hands up ♪ 60 00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:39,619 ♪ And I ain't stopping ♪ 61 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:42,388 ♪ Tonight ♪ 62 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:45,625 ♪ No one's gonna stop me ♪ 63 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:48,661 ♪ No one's gonna let you ♪ 64 00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:51,431 ♪ 'Cause I... ♪ 65 00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:52,732 I liked that one. 66 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,534 Yeah, he seemed nice. 67 00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,269 Do you still want to make a jump? 68 00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,671 There's another landing field up ahead. 69 00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:01,441 Are you crazy? I could die. 70 00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:31,571 [man] Yeah, I'll be there at 6PM sharp like always. 71 00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:37,043 No. Because there's never anybody I want you to meet, Mom. 72 00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:41,614 Yeah, there still swimming, last I checked. 73 00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:46,719 All right, I'll see you Sunday. 74 00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:47,887 I love you too, bye-bye. 75 00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:53,593 -Dinner Sunday at Mom's? -Yeah. 76 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:57,430 Oh, I'm sorry, man. You want to come to dinner on Sunday? 77 00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,299 Aw thanks, man, I'd love to. 78 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,802 [chuckles] So, what seismic earth shift got your ass off the couch 79 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,505 and in to my office today, buddy? 80 00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:07,373 Basketball with the guys. 81 00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,842 Oh, yeah. 82 00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:12,512 Man, I can't do it, I got to work. 83 00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:15,948 -Hoops, bro. -I hear ya, I can't do it. Look at this. 84 00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:17,684 Oh, oh, who's the little brunette 85 00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:19,619 with the big guy? What did he do, kill her? 86 00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,554 -An assault. -He beat her up? 87 00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:24,557 -She kicked his ass, actually. -Ha! Yeah? 88 00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:28,728 Yeah, so she caught him having sex with the neighbor. 89 00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:33,333 There was an altercation, and he's suing her for damages. 90 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:37,036 So, she hired me to make it all go away. She still loves the guy. 91 00:05:37,036 --> 00:05:39,105 She wants him back after he boned the neighbor? 92 00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:41,474 I don't know what to tell you, man. 93 00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,043 Sexual impulses are strong, but sometimes, 94 00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,646 I guess love is stronger. 95 00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:47,880 Is that the Hayworth file? 96 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,415 It sure is. 97 00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:50,950 [gasps] So, you're handling the arbitration? 98 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,385 Yeah, I gotcha covered. 99 00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:53,720 You bet, you can head home to the kids. 100 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:54,854 -[cell phone ringing] -Oh! 101 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,423 Whoa, whoa! 102 00:05:57,423 --> 00:06:01,794 Hey, honey. No, the Adderall is in the green bottle, 103 00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,396 it's organic. 104 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:06,366 Yeah. No, honey, it's right next to the... 105 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,102 [gasps] No! 106 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,037 That's liquid gold! 107 00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,808 Nope, that's a goner. 108 00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:18,745 Honey, you're going to have to take some milk 109 00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,813 out of the freezer. I lost the afternoon load. 110 00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:22,415 [whispers] Sorry. 111 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,854 It's still warm. 112 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:35,461 I don't care. Calvin, I need you in my office. 113 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,483 You can close the door behind you. 114 00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:04,690 You like it here don't you, Calvin? 115 00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:08,661 Your work has been outstanding. Partners have noticed. 116 00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:11,197 Yeah. You know, I'm surprised, 117 00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:14,500 but you can actually do good work in an oversized law firm 118 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,002 with hourly rates higher than gods. 119 00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:19,872 Hmm. How are the women's rights cases going? 120 00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:22,742 Mm. Just fine, great. 121 00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:24,110 Still winning? 122 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,479 I'm undefeated. But you knew that. 123 00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:28,548 Hm. That's good. 124 00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:31,818 It's really good. 125 00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,753 Gena, why am I here? 126 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:37,223 I have a situation that needs handling, 127 00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:40,660 and I think you are just the person for the job. 128 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,895 -Client? -Blogger. 129 00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:46,666 My sister, actually. 130 00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:50,736 Ah-ha. The mysterious sister you never speak of. 131 00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:53,139 She was only 15 when our dad died. 132 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:57,777 Just a kid, really. She was heartbroken. 133 00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:01,948 And then... I went off to law school... 134 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,584 Well, I'm sure she's fine. 135 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:07,186 She might look fine from the outside. 136 00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:10,156 She's a successful scientist here in Portland, actually. 137 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,759 She writes formulas for Fortune 500 companies. 138 00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:16,629 -What kind of formulas? -Various things. 139 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:20,533 Did you know that there is a formula for happiness? 140 00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:22,702 Yeah, it's called whiskey. 141 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,804 [chuckles] 142 00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:29,075 Anyway, that is all a façade. 143 00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:32,278 The real Lauren is a different person altogether. 144 00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,682 Look at this. 145 00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:42,922 The Pig Theory. 146 00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:48,227 The point of infidelity and guilt. 147 00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:49,962 Gena, this is kind of awesome. 148 00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:51,998 It's not awesome, it's insane. 149 00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:55,001 Can you imagine the impact she's having on these people's lives? 150 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:58,070 Not to mention her own mental wellbeing. 151 00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,805 They're empowering her. 152 00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:04,043 She's been offered a very lucrative book deal. 153 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:07,246 And I'm just concerned 154 00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:09,582 that if she writes that book, 155 00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:12,985 the girl I grew up with will be gone forever. 156 00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:16,222 So, I need you to stop her. 157 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,858 The blog, the book, all of it. 158 00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,327 And how exactly 159 00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,795 am I supposed to do that? 160 00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:25,231 I don't care how you do it. 161 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,900 Use your powers of persuasion. 162 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,802 You're undefeated, right? 163 00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:31,037 Women love you. 164 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,939 Ah... 165 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,741 You want me to mess with this poor girl's head? 166 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:39,712 No, just... take her to drinks, 167 00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:42,582 you know, show her that there are good guys out there. 168 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,616 Guys like you. 169 00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:45,751 [sighs] 170 00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:50,990 I'm sorry, I... I can't do that. 171 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:54,994 Mm. I had a feeling you'd say that. 172 00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:58,798 So, I have an offer for you. 173 00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:01,033 Do this and I will recommend 174 00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,802 that you make partner to the board. 175 00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,637 Now that's cold, Gena, 176 00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,372 you know I deserve to make partner. 177 00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:10,109 Yes, you do, and this will guarantee it. 178 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:15,281 Tucker, Aaronson, Mauldin & Chesney. 179 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,116 Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? 180 00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:21,387 [sighs] 181 00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:23,322 OK... 182 00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:28,361 OK. I'll talk to her... 183 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:36,135 and I'll get her to shut down the blog. 184 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,104 Mm. 185 00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:41,173 I knew you would see things my way. 186 00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:43,075 [scoffs] 187 00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:34,393 No, no, you tell him I will make that donation to Popular Science 188 00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,429 and I don't want any recognition for it. 189 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:39,131 People need their science, man. 190 00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:40,332 Oh! 191 00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:42,268 Whoa, whoa! 192 00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:45,838 -Hey, you OK there? -Yeah. 193 00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:47,973 You mind if I take a look? 194 00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,077 Can I have my leg back? 195 00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:54,080 Yeah, sorry. 196 00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:57,116 Here, let me help you up. 197 00:11:57,116 --> 00:12:00,186 [grunts, sighs] 198 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,455 -Here you go. -Thanks. 199 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,424 Listen, that could be a nasty sprain. 200 00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,026 Why don't I get you some ice. 201 00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:08,094 Maybe a cup of coffee? 202 00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:13,399 You know, I don't know you. 203 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,235 I'm sorry, but why would I get coffee with you? 204 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,370 I'm Calvin. 205 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,906 [both chuckle] 206 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,284 Thanks. 207 00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:36,021 I'm Lauren, by the way. 208 00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:38,023 Nice to meet you. 209 00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:41,060 What's-what's in the folder there? 210 00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:43,529 Uh, it's my work. I'm a scientist, 211 00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,831 but mainly I just work on product improvement. 212 00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:48,434 And it's a report on a formula I was developing. 213 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,203 Wow, that sounds serious. 214 00:12:51,203 --> 00:12:52,972 Not so much. 215 00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,441 It's the formula for, I don't know, the perfect pizza. 216 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,877 Cheese, crust, and beer. 217 00:12:57,877 --> 00:13:00,112 [laughs] Basically, right? Yeah. 218 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,515 I mean, there might be a few more factors at play, but... 219 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,116 Such as? 220 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,520 All right, well, so the perfect pizza 221 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,456 boils down to that first perfect bite, you know? 222 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,491 But with these larger pizzas, 223 00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:14,560 sometimes the crust can get a little soggy, 224 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,262 especially in the middle, 225 00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:19,799 but you can calculate the perfect ratio 226 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,901 between the thickness of the pizza's crust 227 00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,069 and constant volume of toppings, 228 00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:27,506 then you can formulate the perfect bite. 229 00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:30,509 Anyway, our client 230 00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:34,313 used the formula to ad nine grams of dough to their pizza, 231 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,449 and now some say it's the perfect pizza. 232 00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:39,218 Wow. 233 00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:41,387 [chuckles] Yeah. 234 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:44,890 Well, you know what this means, don't you? 235 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:48,160 Actually, I really don't. 236 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,964 It means that you have to take me to this place 237 00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:55,334 and we need to experience this perfect pizza. 238 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,437 I don't know, 239 00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,272 I should probably just... 240 00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:02,241 Come on, you have to. 241 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,109 It's the perfect pizza, it can't wait. 242 00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,545 OK, OK, you're kind of putting me on the spot here, 243 00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,280 but all right, let's try the pizza. 244 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,015 Come on, if you can walk, you can eat pizza. 245 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,483 I can hobble down the street a little bit, yeah. 246 00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:14,386 All right, terrific... perfect pizza. 247 00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:17,289 You can't tell a guy about a perfect pizza... 248 00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:19,325 -[laughs] -Come on... Do you need this? 249 00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:21,393 -Yeah, thank you. -Are you sure you trust me with this? 250 00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:26,565 Wow, I gotta say, that was a pretty good pizza. 251 00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:28,300 -Pretty good. -Pretty good. 252 00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,402 I don't know if it's the perfect pizza... 253 00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:32,104 -Oh, I see. -Thank you. 254 00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:33,472 But it's pretty good. 255 00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:35,241 I'll give it to you, it's pretty good. 256 00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:36,475 It's pretty good. OK. 257 00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:37,977 Thank you. I'll take pretty good. 258 00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,545 [chuckles] 259 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,281 [inaudible] 260 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,062 -Thank you. -Yeah. 261 00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,302 Watch that ankle. 262 00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:05,204 It's OK. 263 00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:09,608 Well, thank you for the ice. 264 00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:13,112 Yeah, thank you for the pizza. 265 00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:16,015 It was great to meet you. 266 00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,150 Great meeting you, Lauren. 267 00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,351 Goodnight. 268 00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:22,688 Hey, Lauren... 269 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,325 Can I see you again? 270 00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,631 Maybe. 271 00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,368 That's not a no. 272 00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:38,037 [door opens] 273 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,297 [knocking] 274 00:16:07,599 --> 00:16:09,101 -[gasps] -Voodoo? 275 00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:12,404 [chuckles] 276 00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:14,540 -Thank you. -You're welcome, you're welcome. 277 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,976 -That's super sweet. -It is super sweet. 278 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,477 -It is super sweet. -Yeah. 279 00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,080 -But I do love this place. -Yeah, one at a time there. 280 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,448 Oh, mmmm. 281 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,802 [chuckles] 282 00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,370 Thanks. 283 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,439 Yeah, no, I was really lucky to get this place. 284 00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:24,209 -I moved in two years ago. -Yeah, it's really nice. 285 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:29,415 So... 286 00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:33,252 You know, you don't have to leave right away. 287 00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:38,457 You can... stay the night if you want. 288 00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:42,694 OK, um... 289 00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:45,264 I'd like that. 290 00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:46,598 But I can't. 291 00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:53,272 Um, but I thought we were... 292 00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:55,541 -I thought we had been... -We are. 293 00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:57,843 We are. 294 00:17:57,843 --> 00:18:00,846 And, um... 295 00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:04,850 that's why I don't want to take this to the next level 296 00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:07,486 until we've been totally honest with each other. 297 00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:09,822 I thought we had been. 298 00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:22,801 I know about your blog, 299 00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,637 the, um, Pig Theory? 300 00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:29,408 Everything. 301 00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:34,480 Blog? [scoffs] What... 302 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,116 Gena told me... 303 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:41,153 She's my boss. 304 00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:44,256 -Did Gena put you up to this? -No, no. 305 00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:47,326 Nobody put me up to anything. 306 00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:50,796 I, I saw a picture of you on her desk 307 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,632 and she told me about the blog. 308 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:56,902 I... I was intrigued. 309 00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:05,277 No. What about all that about donating to Popular Science magazine. 310 00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:06,812 I mean, you were outside my office... 311 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,748 Just an excuse to meet you. 312 00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:13,485 I didn't know you were going to sprain your ankle, 313 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:17,356 but, um, yeah. 314 00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,224 I mean, if you read the blog, 315 00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,226 then why you would want to meet me? 316 00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:25,164 You intrigued me. 317 00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:28,700 You still do. 318 00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,274 Hey, come on, 319 00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:39,778 this past week has been great, right? 320 00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:42,714 So, um... 321 00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:45,450 maybe you show me more. 322 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,654 More of the real you. 323 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:57,462 OK, you want to see more? 324 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,434 Come up to my office. 325 00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:08,640 OK. 326 00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:24,790 So, as you can see, the blog is... 327 00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,658 kind of a big deal. 328 00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,597 Are these all your followers? 329 00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:34,233 I've got just under two million globally. 330 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,569 I was even thinking about turning the whole thing into a book. 331 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:42,841 Wow, it's impressive. It is. 332 00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:46,478 And the blog's good, too, I've read it. 333 00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:49,348 But you know what impresses me more? 334 00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:52,618 The fact that you haven't written anything since we met. 335 00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:56,355 Had a full week, not one post. 336 00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:58,924 It gives a guy a little hope. 337 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:05,397 You know. Hope that maybe the Pig Slayer has met someone? 338 00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:09,968 She's ready to turn over a new leaf and shut all this down? 339 00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:12,838 Shut it down? 340 00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:14,640 [scoffs] 341 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,708 What would I tell all these people? 342 00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:19,611 I mean, I'm sorry, but some of them, 343 00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,647 I've actually changed their lives. 344 00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:23,915 For example, this one. 345 00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,984 "I asked my heart to please stop breaking. 346 00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:29,688 I prayed to God for a cure. Then I found the Pig Slayer." 347 00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:32,791 They kind of depend on me. I can't just shut it down. 348 00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:35,961 Sure, you can. What is that? 349 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:40,532 That there... B minus C, what is all that? 350 00:21:40,532 --> 00:21:43,402 That's my infidelity formula. 351 00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:44,770 That's what the theory is based on. 352 00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:48,373 [chuckles] Your infidelity formula. 353 00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:50,442 -Yeah. -OK, explain. 354 00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:54,079 OK, OK... 355 00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:57,949 So all of these variables are assigned a value of 1-10, 356 00:21:57,949 --> 00:21:59,618 10 being the highest, 357 00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:01,486 and you multiply boredom 358 00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:04,056 by the difference between the excitement of someone new 359 00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:06,425 and the familiarity of comfort, 360 00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:09,528 and you subtract from that the fear of conflict, 361 00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:11,797 added with the opportunity to cheat, 362 00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:14,066 and that final value, if that's 20 or higher, 363 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,601 then that person is gonna cheat. 364 00:22:16,601 --> 00:22:19,404 And as a failsafe, 365 00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:21,973 you break up after six months of dating. 366 00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:26,345 Statistically speaking it's not safe to date for longer than that. 367 00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:29,381 And it works? 368 00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:32,751 Well, two million people agree with me. 369 00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:37,756 [sighs] 370 00:22:38,824 --> 00:22:41,593 It's... getting kind of late. 371 00:22:41,593 --> 00:22:45,397 Um, I should feed Ripley and go to bed. 372 00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:53,839 How can you be so sure? 373 00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:56,942 I mean, essentially you are breaking up 374 00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:59,411 with these people before they cheat. 375 00:22:59,411 --> 00:23:02,647 [Lauren] Before they have the opportunity to cheat. 376 00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:05,817 Yeah, but what if they never would have at all? 377 00:23:05,817 --> 00:23:07,953 [sighs] People cheat. 378 00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,621 All they need is the opportunity 379 00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:11,423 and to know they won't get caught. 380 00:23:11,423 --> 00:23:13,859 -That's your theory? -Yeah. 381 00:23:13,859 --> 00:23:16,428 Based on a pretty kick-ass formula, yes, that's my theory. 382 00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:17,629 And you won't be convinced otherwise? 383 00:23:17,629 --> 00:23:18,964 That's just how it is 384 00:23:18,964 --> 00:23:22,501 -and how it's going to be, forever? -Yeah. 385 00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:25,437 And what if I offer a way to prove your theory wrong? 386 00:23:25,437 --> 00:23:27,139 I don't see how you'd be able to do that. 387 00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:28,874 Now, hold on, you're a scientist, right? 388 00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:30,175 So, you know that a theory is nothing more 389 00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:32,043 than a theory until it's proven. 390 00:23:32,043 --> 00:23:36,615 So have you actually tested this theory? 391 00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:38,817 -How could you test it? -OK. Well, you said yourself 392 00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:40,619 that everybody scores a 20 or higher 393 00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:42,020 after six months of dating, correct? 394 00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:43,989 -Yeah, correct. -So, all we would need to do 395 00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:46,491 is find a group of people who have been in a relationship 396 00:23:46,491 --> 00:23:47,926 for longer than six months, 397 00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:50,162 and give them the opportunity to cheat 398 00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:52,697 without getting caught, right? 399 00:23:52,697 --> 00:23:54,566 [sighs] I suppose-- 400 00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:56,535 Now to keep a close watch on our subjects, 401 00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:58,637 they would have to be people close to us. 402 00:23:58,637 --> 00:24:00,205 Like my friends, or your friends. 403 00:24:00,205 --> 00:24:02,908 Wait, hold on. I don't understand. 404 00:24:02,908 --> 00:24:04,075 What are you proposing? 405 00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:07,112 I'm suggesting that you and I 406 00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:09,014 have a little competition. 407 00:24:09,014 --> 00:24:10,916 -A competition? -Mm-hmm. 408 00:24:10,916 --> 00:24:13,552 I pick five of my friends who've been in a relationship 409 00:24:13,552 --> 00:24:14,953 for longer than six months, 410 00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:17,456 and you pick the enchantresses 411 00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:18,790 who will be their downfall. 412 00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:20,892 You tempt them, you challenge them, 413 00:24:20,892 --> 00:24:21,960 you do your worst. 414 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,695 You pick a situation 415 00:24:23,695 --> 00:24:25,163 in which you think gives them 416 00:24:25,163 --> 00:24:26,798 the best opportunity to cheat, 417 00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,468 and we will see if they take the bait. 418 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:32,504 OK? Best three out of five wins. 419 00:24:32,504 --> 00:24:36,475 OK, if three out of five people cheat, 420 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,176 then you have to post on my blog 421 00:24:38,176 --> 00:24:39,878 and write a forward to the book 422 00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:42,747 about the competition and how it all went down, 423 00:24:42,747 --> 00:24:44,883 and admit that, yes, my theory is correct. 424 00:24:44,883 --> 00:24:46,985 OK, 425 00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:49,554 but if three out of five resist, 426 00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:51,723 then you've got to post admitting you were wrong 427 00:24:51,723 --> 00:24:53,992 about the whole thing, and you gotta shut it all down. 428 00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:59,731 And you have to agree to be with me. 429 00:24:59,731 --> 00:25:02,501 Like normal people, no expiration date. 430 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,036 [dog grumbles] 431 00:25:05,036 --> 00:25:06,905 Mm. 432 00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:09,508 If I win, 433 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,243 I get my six months with you. 434 00:25:11,243 --> 00:25:13,278 Really? 435 00:25:13,278 --> 00:25:15,580 Yeah. 436 00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:19,084 Yeah, if I win, you still post, admit defeat, 437 00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:23,755 but I get my six months, and then we end it. Agreed? 438 00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:27,259 Agreed. 439 00:25:32,998 --> 00:25:34,566 Goodnight, Lauren. 440 00:25:46,945 --> 00:25:49,881 [sighs] 441 00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:51,716 You're upset. 442 00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:53,818 -I'm not upset. -Yes, you are. 443 00:25:53,818 --> 00:25:57,556 Your voice always rises like three octaves when you're upset. 444 00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:58,890 [deep voice] I'm not upset. 445 00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:00,825 Now you're transgender. 446 00:26:00,825 --> 00:26:03,995 Oh... First of all, how could you embarrass me like that? 447 00:26:03,995 --> 00:26:05,864 What... You... 448 00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:11,303 You send some guy my way, who doesn't even... 449 00:26:11,303 --> 00:26:13,572 and why would he...? 450 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:16,875 First of all, I know how to find a guy. 451 00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:19,978 Finding them has never been your problem, sweetie. 452 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:25,750 I don't have any problems! 453 00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:27,352 You know, I really thought he liked me. 454 00:26:27,352 --> 00:26:29,087 He does, you idiot, I mean, 455 00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:31,623 why else would he take part in this... what is it, 456 00:26:31,623 --> 00:26:33,625 like a competition? 457 00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:37,095 Yeah. You're right. Best three out of five wins. 458 00:26:37,095 --> 00:26:39,164 Oh, I'm so gonna kick his ass. 459 00:26:39,164 --> 00:26:42,667 How exactly is this going to work? 460 00:26:42,667 --> 00:26:46,371 OK, so, we have a list of challengers, right? 461 00:26:46,371 --> 00:26:50,308 And all these people have been in relationships six months or longer, 462 00:26:50,308 --> 00:26:52,911 and to prove my theory correct, 463 00:26:52,911 --> 00:26:57,649 alls I have to do is... tempt them. 464 00:26:59,651 --> 00:27:01,686 Oh, my God, there's a list. 465 00:27:01,686 --> 00:27:03,221 What do you know about these people? 466 00:27:03,221 --> 00:27:05,056 [Lauren] Everything I need to know. 467 00:27:05,056 --> 00:27:07,692 Simon Walker, OK, so, he's a preppy bartender. 468 00:27:07,692 --> 00:27:09,661 -[Gena] The bartender at Toochies? -[Lauren] Right, exactly. 469 00:27:09,661 --> 00:27:11,229 Apparently, he's one of Cal's best friends 470 00:27:11,229 --> 00:27:13,999 and he's been engaged for two years. 471 00:27:13,999 --> 00:27:17,168 Now, Cal says, "Oh, he wouldn't possibly cheat." 472 00:27:17,168 --> 00:27:18,870 That's a very long engagement. 473 00:27:18,870 --> 00:27:21,706 -Right? -Who's that? 474 00:27:21,706 --> 00:27:23,708 [Lauren] Edward Hockett. 475 00:27:23,708 --> 00:27:25,010 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 476 00:27:25,010 --> 00:27:26,378 They're high school sweethearts. 477 00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:28,880 Now we went to a yoga class together, 478 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,915 and actually, 479 00:27:30,915 --> 00:27:32,917 oh, you know, I hate to do it to her really, 480 00:27:32,917 --> 00:27:36,154 but, uh, hey, if Cal's right and my theory is totally wrong, 481 00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:39,090 then, hey, I haven't done anything, right? 482 00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:42,193 Right. But you're not going to actually arrange 483 00:27:42,193 --> 00:27:43,762 for these people to have sex, are you? 484 00:27:43,762 --> 00:27:46,364 No. OK, so, 485 00:27:46,364 --> 00:27:48,166 Cal and I argued about this, right? 486 00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:49,801 And he came up with a good point. 487 00:27:49,801 --> 00:27:51,836 He said, "Well, somebody could always back out, 488 00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:54,105 or change their mind, how are you gonna know?" 489 00:27:54,105 --> 00:27:57,442 And I said, "Listen, if the underwear have come out, 490 00:27:57,442 --> 00:28:00,812 it's a done deal," so we decided on that. 491 00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:02,313 Underwear is proof. 492 00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:05,150 You're going to steal these people's underwear? 493 00:28:05,150 --> 00:28:07,686 Me? No, no, no. I'm not gonna do that. 494 00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:09,454 Corina's gonna do it. 495 00:28:09,454 --> 00:28:10,789 Who's Corina? 496 00:28:10,789 --> 00:28:12,323 [chuckles] 497 00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:14,759 She's a devout follower of the blog. 498 00:28:14,759 --> 00:28:17,095 She's got some very interesting things to say about men. 499 00:28:17,095 --> 00:28:19,164 We have gotten close over the last couple of years. 500 00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:22,000 She... dances. Exotically. 501 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,704 -[GenShe's a stripper. -[Lauren] Hey, don't be so judgey. 502 00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:27,906 She's a person. Like you or me. 503 00:28:27,906 --> 00:28:29,474 Thank you. 504 00:28:29,474 --> 00:28:31,276 Thank you... 505 00:28:31,276 --> 00:28:33,378 Anyway, I said she could 506 00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:35,080 post a victory blog when we win. 507 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,416 Mm. When you win? 508 00:28:38,416 --> 00:28:39,851 Mm-hmm. 509 00:28:39,851 --> 00:28:41,920 Look, I'm a little bit of an expert 510 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,122 in human nature, OK? I can't lose. 511 00:28:44,122 --> 00:28:47,092 OK, but what if you do? 512 00:28:47,092 --> 00:28:49,094 [sighs] 513 00:28:49,094 --> 00:28:52,897 Well, if I do, I have to admit defeat. 514 00:28:52,897 --> 00:28:55,066 I have to shut down the blog, 515 00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:57,068 which means I lose my followers. 516 00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:58,403 Then I have to postpone the book, 517 00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:00,438 because without a blog there is no book. 518 00:29:00,438 --> 00:29:03,908 That's a lot of think about. You must really like him 519 00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:05,510 if you're willing to risk so much. 520 00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:10,515 I don't know, I'm going to win. 521 00:29:10,515 --> 00:29:12,150 Also think about it this way. 522 00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:14,152 If I get the city's top female advocate attorney 523 00:29:14,152 --> 00:29:17,522 writing on my blog about the competition and what it proves? 524 00:29:17,522 --> 00:29:20,425 That book, that book is worth the mint. 525 00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:23,495 Wait, Sharon Gottlieb she works in our office. 526 00:29:23,495 --> 00:29:26,064 She is happily married, just had a baby. 527 00:29:26,064 --> 00:29:28,800 Corina is definitely not her type. 528 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,303 [Lauren] Yeah, no, I know. He threw that in there. But, you know what? It's fine. 529 00:29:32,303 --> 00:29:34,506 The pig theory applies to men and women alike. 530 00:29:34,506 --> 00:29:37,275 We all can be pigs. That's the whole point. 531 00:29:37,275 --> 00:29:40,044 I mean, you and Mom were a huge inspiration. 532 00:29:40,044 --> 00:29:41,846 Gee, thanks. 533 00:29:41,846 --> 00:29:44,048 So, how are you going to tempt Sharon? 534 00:29:44,048 --> 00:29:47,152 There's a male dancer that works at the Caritas Club. 535 00:29:47,152 --> 00:29:50,255 -Oh... -He's down to play. [chuckles] 536 00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:52,924 And, God, he's really hot. 537 00:29:52,924 --> 00:29:55,059 Poor Sharon doesn't stand a chance. 538 00:29:55,059 --> 00:29:58,296 OK. And, uh, these last two challengers? 539 00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:00,498 [Lauren] Oh right, Garrett Stuckey. 540 00:30:00,498 --> 00:30:04,903 Yeah, that's, um, that's Cal's fitness instructor. 541 00:30:04,903 --> 00:30:09,507 You know, he's one of these thick, veiny-neck kind of guys. [laughs] 542 00:30:09,507 --> 00:30:12,911 He's been living with the aerobics instructor for two years. 543 00:30:12,911 --> 00:30:14,245 That seems like an easy one. 544 00:30:14,245 --> 00:30:16,347 Yeah. That's exactly what I think. 545 00:30:16,347 --> 00:30:18,483 But, I don't know, Cal swears 546 00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:22,220 he's a man of integrity and honor. 547 00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:24,956 [laughs] No, he doesn't actually talk like that. 548 00:30:24,956 --> 00:30:26,958 I swear, he does. 549 00:30:26,958 --> 00:30:28,493 I don't know, maybe the competition brought out 550 00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:31,396 a whole new Prince Charming thing. 551 00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:34,532 That's precious. 552 00:30:34,532 --> 00:30:38,536 Gena, I've been meaning to ask you. 553 00:30:38,536 --> 00:30:41,439 So, you guys went to law school together, 554 00:30:41,439 --> 00:30:43,074 you work with him, 555 00:30:43,074 --> 00:30:45,210 you've known him a long time, he's a guy, 556 00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:47,111 and you're... you. 557 00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:52,116 You guys never slept together or anything, right? 558 00:30:52,116 --> 00:30:53,585 Of course not! 559 00:30:53,585 --> 00:30:55,186 'Cause that would be gross. 560 00:30:55,186 --> 00:30:58,957 Yes, that would. 561 00:30:58,957 --> 00:31:00,525 Now who is this last challenger? 562 00:31:00,525 --> 00:31:02,527 [laughs] Yeah. 563 00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:04,529 That's his minister. Married guy. 564 00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:07,131 [Gena] Minister? That hardly seem fair. 565 00:31:07,131 --> 00:31:09,601 [Lauren] I thought that at first too, but, I don't know, 566 00:31:09,601 --> 00:31:11,169 he's a Presbyterian minister, 567 00:31:11,169 --> 00:31:13,171 so he never took the oath of celibacy, 568 00:31:13,171 --> 00:31:17,308 and I do say that, you know, the theory applies to everyone, 569 00:31:17,308 --> 00:31:18,610 so, it is fair. 570 00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:21,412 Still, that seems like kind of a long shot. 571 00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:25,283 Does it, though? 572 00:31:25,283 --> 00:31:28,286 [laughing] 573 00:31:28,286 --> 00:31:32,423 OK but, how can you be sure he's not going to 574 00:31:32,423 --> 00:31:36,027 tell all of his friends before just so that he can win? 575 00:31:37,662 --> 00:31:42,200 Uh, yeah, that's a good point. 576 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,168 Well, I guess we'll just have to hope that he's 577 00:31:44,168 --> 00:31:46,671 a man of integrity and honor. 578 00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:49,140 [laughs] 579 00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:01,119 [chuckles] 580 00:32:04,322 --> 00:32:06,057 Good evening. 581 00:32:09,994 --> 00:32:11,996 Well, it's just a temporary shutdown. 582 00:32:14,032 --> 00:32:16,000 Can't be writing on the blog 583 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,569 in the middle of the competition. 584 00:32:18,569 --> 00:32:20,271 Don't want to ruin the secret. 585 00:32:20,271 --> 00:32:22,573 -Right, Ripley? -[dog whimpers] 586 00:32:23,574 --> 00:32:26,210 [sighs] OK... 587 00:32:31,482 --> 00:32:33,117 [sighs] 588 00:32:35,219 --> 00:32:37,388 [chatter and laughter] 589 00:32:51,736 --> 00:32:55,540 And... I raise you two dollars. 590 00:32:57,108 --> 00:32:58,476 You are so bluffing. 591 00:32:58,476 --> 00:33:00,745 Kwan, you're not even in the hand. 592 00:33:00,745 --> 00:33:04,449 It's a Tae Kwon Do trick. I can read your body, therefore, your mind. 593 00:33:04,449 --> 00:33:07,652 You took Taw Kwon Do in the third grade. 594 00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:09,520 It never leaves you. 595 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,155 -Oh, my God, Kwan. -Hey man, 596 00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:13,458 my people have suffered a lot. 597 00:33:13,458 --> 00:33:16,661 Did you know in some places you're only allowed to have one kid? 598 00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:19,664 Yeah, but you're hungry again an hour later, all right, let's go. 599 00:33:19,664 --> 00:33:22,467 Boo-yah! King high straight. 600 00:33:22,467 --> 00:33:24,035 OK... 601 00:33:24,035 --> 00:33:26,671 Now, don't feel too bad. I got the brains. 602 00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:28,740 But you, you got the... 603 00:33:30,208 --> 00:33:31,509 I got the looks too. 604 00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:35,480 [laughter] 605 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,282 Didn't even see the flush. 606 00:33:38,282 --> 00:33:39,717 -No! -[all] Oooh! 607 00:33:39,717 --> 00:33:41,019 Thank you. Thank you. 608 00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:42,320 My doctor says take two of these 609 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,156 -and call him in the morning. -[laughs] 610 00:33:45,156 --> 00:33:48,192 Cal, tell the guys about your new girlfriend. 611 00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:51,462 The hikes, the long walks in the park. 612 00:33:51,462 --> 00:33:55,166 Yeah, guys, she's, uh, yeah, she's pretty great. 613 00:33:55,166 --> 00:33:58,636 [Garrett] Does she work out, bro? I mean, 'cause you want to keep that ass high and tight, 614 00:33:58,636 --> 00:34:01,205 'cause later she's going to give up and it's going to sag. 615 00:34:01,205 --> 00:34:03,408 She looks like she works out. 616 00:34:03,408 --> 00:34:05,543 How about we hear about what she's like? 617 00:34:05,543 --> 00:34:11,649 Well, she's, uh, cool, and smart and quirky. 618 00:34:11,649 --> 00:34:13,484 A little bit crazy. 619 00:34:13,484 --> 00:34:15,086 Hey, is she a red head? 620 00:34:15,086 --> 00:34:16,587 Come on. 621 00:34:16,587 --> 00:34:20,625 Man, Kimberly has been coming to bed lately in flannels. 622 00:34:20,625 --> 00:34:22,226 It's a clear message. 623 00:34:22,226 --> 00:34:24,562 -Black women do not wear flannel. -[laughing] 624 00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:27,131 I'm still being punished from the last time we went fishing. 625 00:34:27,131 --> 00:34:28,633 You should rub her feet. 626 00:34:28,633 --> 00:34:30,201 What? 627 00:34:30,201 --> 00:34:31,436 I'm telling you, 628 00:34:31,436 --> 00:34:34,338 Jenny loves it when I rub her feet. 629 00:34:34,338 --> 00:34:37,742 And then I run her calves, and then I rub her knees. 630 00:34:37,742 --> 00:34:40,111 -Dude! -We get it! Thank you. 631 00:34:40,111 --> 00:34:43,281 [laughs] So what kind of crazy is she? 632 00:34:43,281 --> 00:34:47,351 Yeah, like, Angelina Jolie crazy or Tilda Swinton crazy? 633 00:34:47,351 --> 00:34:49,587 -[laughs] -Who the hell is Tilda Swinton? 634 00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:53,124 Nah, I'd say she's probably 635 00:34:53,124 --> 00:34:54,659 the Tilda crazy, 636 00:34:54,659 --> 00:34:56,461 but she's got a lot of sweetness too. 637 00:34:56,461 --> 00:34:59,397 I'm telling you, this uh, this girl's a good one. 638 00:34:59,397 --> 00:35:02,233 Well, be nice to her. I like this one. 639 00:35:02,233 --> 00:35:05,736 Oh, thank you, doctor, I plan on it. 640 00:35:05,736 --> 00:35:09,340 Hey, guys. Who the hell is Tilda Swinton? 641 00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:12,477 Jesus, Garrett. Go to a movie. Go see a movie! 642 00:35:12,477 --> 00:35:13,678 You too busy? 643 00:35:13,678 --> 00:35:17,248 "I'm poundin' weights! Uhh!" 644 00:35:17,248 --> 00:35:20,451 -Protein, reps. -[laughter] 645 00:35:20,451 --> 00:35:23,888 Ante up, douche. 646 00:35:31,829 --> 00:35:36,134 [Gena] Just got off the phone with Mom, she's pulling up now. 647 00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,536 You know, I don't see what the big deal is. 648 00:35:38,536 --> 00:35:40,771 I mean, she's been dating since Dad died. 649 00:35:40,771 --> 00:35:43,207 Aren't you even a little but curious? 650 00:35:43,207 --> 00:35:45,276 -No. -What if he's the one? 651 00:35:45,276 --> 00:35:47,245 Gena, she already met the one. 652 00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:51,716 Hello, my darlings. 653 00:35:51,716 --> 00:35:53,918 I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. 654 00:35:53,918 --> 00:35:55,520 Alejandro is parking the car. 655 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:56,787 Hi, Mom. 656 00:35:56,787 --> 00:35:58,523 Hey, Mom, how have you been? 657 00:35:58,523 --> 00:36:01,692 I love your new... look. 658 00:36:01,692 --> 00:36:04,595 Mama Mia, Bellissimo! 659 00:36:04,595 --> 00:36:07,865 -It's Valentino. -Giorgio Armani. 660 00:36:09,233 --> 00:36:13,337 BonjournMy darling. 661 00:36:16,574 --> 00:36:18,809 -Oh! -Sweet. 662 00:36:18,809 --> 00:36:22,280 Guys, this is Alejandro Baraza. 663 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:26,517 This is my daughter, Gena, and my other daughter, Lauren. 664 00:36:26,517 --> 00:36:29,687 Like dulcet dewdrops dripped from a diamond. 665 00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,190 I love it... 666 00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:33,658 -I love it! -Oh, well! 667 00:36:33,658 --> 00:36:35,660 [fake sneezes] 668 00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:39,530 Oh! Oh. I'm so sorry! 669 00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:42,400 I just must be a... 670 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,869 drippy, drippy dewdrop. 671 00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:46,938 It's OK, it's OK... 672 00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:48,506 -Let's eat. -Hmmm. 673 00:36:48,506 --> 00:36:50,374 -[Gena] Right this way. -Thank you. 674 00:36:50,374 --> 00:36:51,976 So, they tell you in class 675 00:36:51,976 --> 00:36:53,844 you have to switch partners every week 676 00:36:53,844 --> 00:36:56,214 so you can experience different types of dancers. 677 00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:59,350 Alejandro refused to switch. 678 00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:01,319 -Of course. -Alejandro, 679 00:37:01,319 --> 00:37:03,221 if you don't mind me asking, 680 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:07,592 what was a gentleman who's you know, your age, 681 00:37:07,592 --> 00:37:11,596 doing at a senior ballroom dance class? 682 00:37:11,596 --> 00:37:15,633 I understand your curiosity, and I will tell you right now. 683 00:37:15,633 --> 00:37:18,736 I work like a dog in my shop. 684 00:37:18,736 --> 00:37:21,239 He's a designer. He makes men's suites. 685 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,940 -Has his own label. -[Alejandro] Yeah. 686 00:37:22,940 --> 00:37:26,744 -Wow. -So, I was thinking to myself and I say, 687 00:37:26,744 --> 00:37:30,548 "Alejandro, you're such a great dancer, 688 00:37:30,548 --> 00:37:33,017 and your heart is only half full. 689 00:37:33,017 --> 00:37:35,586 This is not the right way to live the life. 690 00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:40,458 You must live the life with the heart full of love, always, right?" 691 00:37:40,458 --> 00:37:45,296 So, I walked into the class, and I was ready 692 00:37:45,296 --> 00:37:47,565 with the shaking of my hulo, 693 00:37:47,565 --> 00:37:50,635 and sharing the love for the dance, 694 00:37:50,635 --> 00:37:54,839 and there she was, like a beautiful ball of sunshine, 695 00:37:54,839 --> 00:37:57,341 burning my poor eyes. 696 00:37:57,341 --> 00:37:59,043 -Amore mio. -[giggles] 697 00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:04,782 Act your age. 698 00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:07,918 And what does that mean? "Act my age?" 699 00:38:07,918 --> 00:38:11,589 Am I supposed to be at home knitting sweaters? Does Gena act her age? 700 00:38:11,589 --> 00:38:13,791 Or what about you, Lauren? You're 30 years old. 701 00:38:13,791 --> 00:38:15,559 Aren't you supposed to be married by now 702 00:38:15,559 --> 00:38:16,994 and giving me grandbabies? 703 00:38:16,994 --> 00:38:18,029 I don't see that happening. 704 00:38:18,029 --> 00:38:20,331 I'm very busy, all right? 705 00:38:20,331 --> 00:38:22,800 Work is always crazy, then there's my blog, 706 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,435 and now this book thing... 707 00:38:24,435 --> 00:38:26,904 Well, we can't all be Pig Slayers, Lauren. 708 00:38:26,904 --> 00:38:29,674 How long's that been going on, anyway? And when's that going to stop? 709 00:38:29,674 --> 00:38:33,678 -I'm sure it's just a phase. -At some point the phase becomes a reality. 710 00:38:33,678 --> 00:38:36,447 And the long-ago sanity becomes a phase. 711 00:38:36,447 --> 00:38:39,383 I mean, really, none of us Walden women 712 00:38:39,383 --> 00:38:42,787 are exactly traditionalists, but you've taken this too far. 713 00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:47,525 Mom, I'm sorry, but I just don't understand where you're coming from. 714 00:38:47,525 --> 00:38:49,460 I'm just standing up for what I believe in. 715 00:38:49,460 --> 00:38:53,331 You're not standing for anything, you're running. 716 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:55,099 You're not letting anybody in. 717 00:38:55,099 --> 00:38:58,836 Actually, she has met someone. 718 00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:00,338 Really? 719 00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,040 Yes! His name is Calvin Chesney, 720 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:07,878 he is a lawyer at my firm, and they like each other a lot. 721 00:39:07,878 --> 00:39:10,748 Thank God for that! 722 00:39:10,748 --> 00:39:14,085 -When can I meet him? -Uh, well, you can't. 723 00:39:14,085 --> 00:39:17,688 -Why not? -Yeah, why not? 724 00:39:17,688 --> 00:39:20,825 It would be so fun if you brought Calvin around to meet the family. 725 00:39:20,825 --> 00:39:22,860 I mean, you and Mom could go on a double date. 726 00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:25,696 Yes, yes. 727 00:39:25,696 --> 00:39:28,666 You should always believe in your life 728 00:39:28,666 --> 00:39:30,568 with the heart full of love. 729 00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:33,571 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 730 00:39:33,571 --> 00:39:35,072 You mentioned that. 731 00:39:35,072 --> 00:39:37,975 I... In that vein, 732 00:39:37,975 --> 00:39:42,780 I'm actually gonna head out and go see Calvin right now. 733 00:39:43,948 --> 00:39:45,683 Nice meeting you, 734 00:39:45,683 --> 00:39:50,688 and Mom, it's always good to... see you. 735 00:40:00,664 --> 00:40:03,501 [laughs] 736 00:40:03,501 --> 00:40:06,070 -[Calvin] What is this? -Is it me? 737 00:40:06,070 --> 00:40:09,006 Not at all! 738 00:40:09,006 --> 00:40:12,777 It's Gena's. She loaned it to me for the day. 739 00:40:12,777 --> 00:40:14,645 Thought you might like a ride. 740 00:40:14,645 --> 00:40:16,480 Did she now? 741 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,482 Well, come on, get in, let's drive this puppy! 742 00:40:18,482 --> 00:40:21,552 -OK, but I'm driving back. -Oh... 743 00:40:28,526 --> 00:40:31,562 -Ready? -Ready. Let's go. 744 00:41:07,097 --> 00:41:11,569 And I... got your Queen. 745 00:41:11,569 --> 00:41:15,039 -What? Oh, no! -Yeah. 746 00:41:15,039 --> 00:41:17,074 Damn. 747 00:41:22,046 --> 00:41:23,647 Checkmate! 748 00:41:23,647 --> 00:41:26,617 Yeah, you set me up there, didn't you? 749 00:41:26,617 --> 00:41:28,886 -Just a little. -A little. 750 00:41:28,886 --> 00:41:31,589 All right. You win. 751 00:41:36,994 --> 00:41:40,831 [door opens, shuts] 752 00:41:44,268 --> 00:41:46,136 Whoa! Sorry to interrupt. 753 00:41:46,136 --> 00:41:48,906 That's just gross. 754 00:41:48,906 --> 00:41:50,741 Then again, kind of not sorry. 755 00:41:50,741 --> 00:41:52,009 [hums tune] 756 00:41:52,009 --> 00:41:53,711 Why don't they find a room? 757 00:41:53,711 --> 00:41:56,881 -It's his house. -[laughs] 758 00:41:56,881 --> 00:42:00,217 What a clown. [laughs] 759 00:42:00,217 --> 00:42:03,587 Yeah, ass clown. 760 00:42:03,587 --> 00:42:07,057 -He's weird. -Ah, he's harmless. 761 00:42:07,057 --> 00:42:09,193 Why does he live here, though? 762 00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:12,763 I mean, you could afford this place on your own. 763 00:42:12,763 --> 00:42:14,999 -You think? -[laughs] 764 00:42:14,999 --> 00:42:16,967 Nah, I know I could. 765 00:42:16,967 --> 00:42:19,603 Just... That's Jake, 766 00:42:19,603 --> 00:42:22,006 you know, he's always been there for me. 767 00:42:22,006 --> 00:42:26,176 We've been friends since grade school and then basketball, 768 00:42:26,176 --> 00:42:28,879 I was point guard and he was right wing, 769 00:42:28,879 --> 00:42:31,882 all the way through law school he was always there for me. 770 00:42:31,882 --> 00:42:36,220 Quiz me before exams, take me out for beers afterwards. 771 00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:39,924 -Even if I always paid. -I'm sure you did. 772 00:42:39,924 --> 00:42:43,861 Yeah, just... he's my best friend. 773 00:42:43,861 --> 00:42:46,964 Seems natural to have him around. 774 00:42:46,964 --> 00:42:50,935 At least until I find somebody else 775 00:42:50,935 --> 00:42:54,638 to share this place with. 776 00:42:58,309 --> 00:43:00,978 How about you, huh? 777 00:43:00,978 --> 00:43:03,614 -Lone wolf. -[chuckles] 778 00:43:03,614 --> 00:43:05,316 You like living alone? 779 00:43:05,316 --> 00:43:06,850 I'm not alone. 780 00:43:06,850 --> 00:43:09,753 I have Ripley... and two million followers. 781 00:43:09,753 --> 00:43:14,024 [chuckles] That's right. I forgot about that. 782 00:43:14,024 --> 00:43:17,127 -[chuckles] -Gosh, where do they all sleep? 783 00:43:17,127 --> 00:43:18,829 Ahh, I keep them in the garage. 784 00:43:18,829 --> 00:43:22,099 -Yeah... -[laughing] 785 00:43:22,099 --> 00:43:24,702 Oh, man. 786 00:43:27,338 --> 00:43:29,907 I really like this. 787 00:43:31,041 --> 00:43:32,343 Me and you. 788 00:43:36,046 --> 00:43:37,114 Me too. 789 00:43:38,916 --> 00:43:40,884 Yeah? 790 00:43:40,884 --> 00:43:42,252 Yeah. 791 00:44:05,876 --> 00:44:07,778 I should get to work. 792 00:44:07,778 --> 00:44:09,913 I know... 793 00:44:09,913 --> 00:44:12,182 people need their science. 794 00:44:12,182 --> 00:44:15,319 [chuckles] Yes, they do. 795 00:44:33,237 --> 00:44:36,106 Hey, so when do we get started? 796 00:44:36,106 --> 00:44:39,176 -With our competition? -Yeah. 797 00:44:41,245 --> 00:44:42,880 Now. 798 00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:44,748 Right now? 799 00:44:46,116 --> 00:44:47,851 Yep. 800 00:44:48,986 --> 00:44:51,455 As of now it can happen at any time 801 00:44:51,455 --> 00:44:55,325 to anyone on your list. 802 00:44:55,325 --> 00:44:57,895 You know, I still don't think it's fair. 803 00:44:57,895 --> 00:44:59,897 I mean, you know, who all my friends are 804 00:44:59,897 --> 00:45:02,366 and I have no idea who you're challenging with. 805 00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:03,801 Oh, you'll know. 806 00:45:07,438 --> 00:45:09,139 See you soon. 807 00:45:09,139 --> 00:45:12,076 How will I know? 808 00:45:13,477 --> 00:45:17,214 -[chuckles] -[door opens] 809 00:45:19,149 --> 00:45:21,452 [cell phone ringing] 810 00:45:31,061 --> 00:45:32,896 Nice car. 811 00:45:32,896 --> 00:45:34,465 [GenYou liked that, did you? 812 00:45:34,465 --> 00:45:36,800 That's one of the perks of becoming partner. 813 00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,802 Yeah, about that. 814 00:45:38,802 --> 00:45:40,170 I've been thinking, 815 00:45:40,170 --> 00:45:41,972 I can't accept the partnership position 816 00:45:41,972 --> 00:45:44,174 if it has anything to do with Lauren. 817 00:45:44,174 --> 00:45:45,809 Really. 818 00:45:45,809 --> 00:45:48,445 Yeah, I want to be partner, 819 00:45:48,445 --> 00:45:50,447 and I sure did like driving that car, 820 00:45:50,447 --> 00:45:54,384 but I don't want you suggesting me to the board 821 00:45:54,384 --> 00:45:56,820 for any another other reason than I'm a great lawyer. 822 00:45:56,820 --> 00:45:59,323 Let's just see how things play out. 823 00:45:59,323 --> 00:46:03,193 From what I can see, everything is going according to plan. 824 00:46:03,193 --> 00:46:06,230 OK, Gena, but so we're clear, 825 00:46:06,230 --> 00:46:09,767 I'm not doing this anymore to make partner. 826 00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:12,970 I'm doing this because I like Lauren. 827 00:46:12,970 --> 00:46:15,038 Bye, Calvin. 828 00:46:28,285 --> 00:46:30,020 [grunts] 829 00:46:30,020 --> 00:46:31,989 How long have you and Treasure been together? 830 00:46:31,989 --> 00:46:34,491 I don't know, man, about two years, I guess? 831 00:46:34,491 --> 00:46:37,394 -You gonna get married? -[chuckles] I don't know, man. 832 00:46:37,394 --> 00:46:39,229 You know, work's been really good and people been throwing 833 00:46:39,229 --> 00:46:41,165 an ass ton of money at me just to get into shape, 834 00:46:41,165 --> 00:46:44,234 so we could afford it if we needed to. 835 00:46:44,234 --> 00:46:47,805 No, I mean, you love her, right? You want to marry her. 836 00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:49,173 I, I don't know, man. 837 00:46:49,173 --> 00:46:50,841 I mean, I guess I'm gonna have to 838 00:46:50,841 --> 00:46:53,877 if I want to keep her. That's how it works, right? 839 00:46:53,877 --> 00:46:55,279 Why are you busting my balls, man? 840 00:46:55,279 --> 00:46:57,147 Did Treasure put you up to this? 841 00:46:57,147 --> 00:46:59,983 No, no, no, I was just curious, that's all. 842 00:46:59,983 --> 00:47:01,318 You guys seem happy. 843 00:47:01,318 --> 00:47:03,887 Don't be a douche. 844 00:47:03,887 --> 00:47:05,889 [grunts] 845 00:47:13,931 --> 00:47:16,567 And so it begins. 846 00:47:16,567 --> 00:47:19,136 -Hi. -Hello. 847 00:47:19,136 --> 00:47:23,006 -Are you Garrett? -I am. What can I do for you? 848 00:47:23,006 --> 00:47:25,075 Well, I'm looking for a trainer 849 00:47:25,075 --> 00:47:28,212 and the lady at the front desk, she referred me to you. 850 00:47:28,212 --> 00:47:30,480 OK, so what kind of hours are you looking for? 851 00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,516 Oh, nothing here. 852 00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:35,519 I actually just bought this really expensive home equipment 853 00:47:35,519 --> 00:47:38,021 and I have no idea how to use it. 854 00:47:38,021 --> 00:47:41,558 -Sounds dumb, huh? -[chuckles] Actually, no, not at all. 855 00:47:41,558 --> 00:47:44,127 You know, most people don't get the full benefit of their workout 856 00:47:44,127 --> 00:47:46,163 because they don't know how to use the equipment correctly. 857 00:47:46,163 --> 00:47:48,365 Sometimes they hurt themselves or they hurt other people. 858 00:47:48,365 --> 00:47:50,467 -Really? -That's a fact. 859 00:47:50,467 --> 00:47:53,003 You know, why don't I give you a free lesson? 860 00:47:53,003 --> 00:47:54,571 Come over here and show me how you bench. 861 00:47:56,907 --> 00:47:59,009 Yeah... 862 00:48:05,349 --> 00:48:07,551 All right, why don't you go ahead, and tight back, 863 00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:09,453 stick your chest up, all right, good. 864 00:48:09,453 --> 00:48:10,988 Grab the bar... 865 00:48:10,988 --> 00:48:14,191 Now go ahead and lift up. 866 00:48:14,191 --> 00:48:17,160 There you go, down and back up. 867 00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,163 Oh that's great. Chest out, there ya go. 868 00:48:20,163 --> 00:48:22,566 Tight back, bring it up, good. 869 00:48:22,566 --> 00:48:25,135 All right. Chest out a little more. 870 00:48:25,135 --> 00:48:28,105 Oh, that's great. Up. Perfect. 871 00:48:28,105 --> 00:48:30,040 I can work with that. 872 00:48:31,041 --> 00:48:32,910 That is great. 873 00:48:37,514 --> 00:48:40,050 She wants you to go to her place to show her 874 00:48:40,050 --> 00:48:43,387 how to use gym equipment, and you're buying that? 875 00:48:43,387 --> 00:48:45,589 [chuckles] Seriously, Cal, 876 00:48:45,589 --> 00:48:48,058 come on, man, you know I'm a professional. 877 00:48:48,058 --> 00:48:50,160 This is what I do for a living, all right? 878 00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,996 I help clients at their houses all the time. It's what I do. 879 00:48:52,996 --> 00:48:55,632 You need to get your damn mind out of the gutter. 880 00:48:55,632 --> 00:48:57,634 Douche. 881 00:49:00,037 --> 00:49:01,204 Wow. 882 00:49:02,472 --> 00:49:04,574 [knock on door] 883 00:49:08,345 --> 00:49:09,346 [yawns] 884 00:49:16,453 --> 00:49:18,322 Oh hey, man. 885 00:49:18,322 --> 00:49:19,623 Sign here. 886 00:49:19,623 --> 00:49:21,058 Thanks. 887 00:49:26,163 --> 00:49:28,298 Have a good day. 888 00:49:47,417 --> 00:49:49,219 Garrett. 889 00:49:58,228 --> 00:50:00,197 [Gena] They're going to be sending a gaggle of attorneys. 890 00:50:00,197 --> 00:50:02,065 It's an important case, they don't want to screw it up, 891 00:50:02,065 --> 00:50:03,700 so expect a big presence. 892 00:50:03,700 --> 00:50:06,370 Do you really think "gaggle" is the best collective term 893 00:50:06,370 --> 00:50:08,171 to use for a group of attorneys? 894 00:50:08,171 --> 00:50:10,707 I'd think it'd be something more sinister like "murder." 895 00:50:10,707 --> 00:50:12,676 No, no, the crows have that one. 896 00:50:12,676 --> 00:50:15,045 -Do they? Crows. -Mm-hmm. 897 00:50:15,045 --> 00:50:16,780 What about "onslaught"? 898 00:50:16,780 --> 00:50:18,682 -Onslaught! Ah, yes. -[chuckling] 899 00:50:18,682 --> 00:50:20,751 Kids... focus! OK. 900 00:50:20,751 --> 00:50:23,687 Uh, you are going to be staying at the Seattle Weston, 901 00:50:23,687 --> 00:50:26,323 get in Thursday night, depo is in the morning. 902 00:50:26,323 --> 00:50:27,391 OK, but when do we get back? 903 00:50:27,391 --> 00:50:28,525 Paul's got plenty of milk, 904 00:50:28,525 --> 00:50:29,760 but Maddy's got a soccer game 905 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,661 this weekend and she is gonna lose her mind 906 00:50:31,661 --> 00:50:34,231 -if I'm not there. -It's not a problem. 907 00:50:34,231 --> 00:50:35,799 You'll be back Friday night. 908 00:50:35,799 --> 00:50:39,236 I want you to be prepared but don't over-work yourselves. 909 00:50:39,236 --> 00:50:42,739 Take some personal time Thursday night, grab a drink. 910 00:50:42,739 --> 00:50:47,511 I doubt we'll have time for that kind of thing, but dinner might be nice. 911 00:50:49,513 --> 00:50:52,249 Dinner, drinks, 912 00:50:52,249 --> 00:50:55,452 on Thursday... OK. 913 00:51:04,561 --> 00:51:09,699 So, that's 32.50 each plus 6.25 for your beer 914 00:51:09,699 --> 00:51:11,635 and we can split the tip? 915 00:51:11,635 --> 00:51:13,403 What do you say, six each? 916 00:51:13,403 --> 00:51:15,605 Sounds good. Thank you. 917 00:51:15,605 --> 00:51:18,475 Very precise, this whole thing. 918 00:51:18,475 --> 00:51:20,243 You know, I never thought I'd say this, 919 00:51:20,243 --> 00:51:23,413 but I actually look forward to these business trips. 920 00:51:23,413 --> 00:51:26,483 The crappy bar food, the cheap wine, 921 00:51:26,483 --> 00:51:30,287 and this... silence. 922 00:51:30,287 --> 00:51:33,256 Ah, come on, you've got the perfect life, 923 00:51:33,256 --> 00:51:35,225 you've got two great kids, happy marriage. 924 00:51:35,225 --> 00:51:36,293 I wish I had that. 925 00:51:36,293 --> 00:51:37,661 No, you don't. 926 00:51:37,661 --> 00:51:38,728 What are you talking about? 927 00:51:38,728 --> 00:51:39,830 It always looks like you and Paul 928 00:51:39,830 --> 00:51:40,831 are having such a great time. 929 00:51:40,831 --> 00:51:43,633 That's Facebook, Calvin. 930 00:51:43,633 --> 00:51:45,435 It isn't real. 931 00:51:45,435 --> 00:51:47,137 My children are monsters. 932 00:51:49,439 --> 00:51:51,341 We used to have fun though, 933 00:51:51,341 --> 00:51:52,876 back when we had sex. 934 00:51:52,876 --> 00:51:57,247 God, we used to have great sex! 935 00:51:57,247 --> 00:51:58,615 [groans uncomfortably] 936 00:51:58,615 --> 00:52:00,550 But you can't have sex with a baby on your tit. 937 00:52:00,550 --> 00:52:03,587 No, I imagine you can't. 938 00:52:03,587 --> 00:52:05,422 Physically, it's practically impossible. 939 00:52:05,422 --> 00:52:07,157 It gets in the way. 940 00:52:07,157 --> 00:52:08,825 Unless you hold it off to the side 941 00:52:08,825 --> 00:52:10,193 which you can practically do 942 00:52:10,193 --> 00:52:12,696 because your boobs get really long! 943 00:52:12,696 --> 00:52:14,331 And there's the term. 944 00:52:14,331 --> 00:52:15,699 And your vagina is never the same. 945 00:52:15,699 --> 00:52:18,135 When they say you can push a bowling ball 946 00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:21,204 through there they're not kidding, because it gets ginormous! 947 00:52:21,204 --> 00:52:23,707 And there's stuff flying out of there, 948 00:52:23,707 --> 00:52:25,709 stuff you've never seen before. 949 00:52:25,709 --> 00:52:28,278 Some people keep it, some people eat it! 950 00:52:28,278 --> 00:52:31,882 OK! You want to order some coffee here? 951 00:52:31,882 --> 00:52:33,383 Kegels, Please! 952 00:52:33,383 --> 00:52:35,719 I can hardly hold my own pee in! 953 00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:37,888 My vagina is dead. 954 00:52:37,888 --> 00:52:39,556 I have a dead vagina. 955 00:52:39,556 --> 00:52:42,325 That's a lot of talk about your vagina here. 956 00:52:42,325 --> 00:52:44,294 Ease up, Calvin. 957 00:52:44,294 --> 00:52:46,796 Your mother's vagina went through the exact same thing. 958 00:52:46,796 --> 00:52:48,932 Not something I care to discuss either. 959 00:52:48,932 --> 00:52:51,835 God! These are going to burst. 960 00:52:51,835 --> 00:52:54,271 [yelps] 961 00:52:54,271 --> 00:52:57,474 Sorry! Yeah, that one got away from me. 962 00:52:57,474 --> 00:52:59,509 I better pull the plug. 963 00:52:59,509 --> 00:53:01,945 -Yeah. -[groans] 964 00:53:01,945 --> 00:53:05,315 ♪ Words can't say what you're doing to me ♪ 965 00:53:05,315 --> 00:53:08,919 ♪ Give me just a minute, try to understand ♪ 966 00:53:08,919 --> 00:53:12,589 ♪ I can't control the shake in my hands ♪ 967 00:53:12,589 --> 00:53:16,193 Calvin, you'll never guess who I bumped into... 968 00:53:16,193 --> 00:53:17,694 This is Brandon. 969 00:53:17,694 --> 00:53:20,730 -Coxx. Dr. Coxx. -[chuckles] 970 00:53:20,730 --> 00:53:23,600 Dr. Coxx noticed my breast pump 971 00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:26,570 and we got to talking, and it turns out he's a specialist. 972 00:53:26,570 --> 00:53:30,574 He helps women recover who have had multiple births. 973 00:53:30,574 --> 00:53:32,509 Ooh! Have a seat! 974 00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:40,317 So, Dr. Coxx, 975 00:53:40,317 --> 00:53:42,719 what are you, like, a plastic surgeon? 976 00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:44,821 Nothing quite so drastic. 977 00:53:44,821 --> 00:53:47,224 I work with the body and the mind. 978 00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:49,626 I help women to rediscover their inner selves 979 00:53:49,626 --> 00:53:51,928 so they can get in tune with their bodies 980 00:53:51,928 --> 00:53:54,464 and re-awaken their sexual being. 981 00:53:54,464 --> 00:53:57,467 How does it work? Can you do me? Can you fix me? 982 00:53:57,467 --> 00:54:00,003 It's a series of meditations to relax the mind 983 00:54:00,003 --> 00:54:02,806 and intimate massage techniques to relax the body. 984 00:54:02,806 --> 00:54:06,276 It gets the blood flowing again in all the right places. 985 00:54:06,276 --> 00:54:09,012 Brings everything back to life. 986 00:54:09,012 --> 00:54:10,647 [chuckles] 987 00:54:10,647 --> 00:54:14,017 So, doctor, you seem pretty young. 988 00:54:14,017 --> 00:54:15,318 How old are you? 989 00:54:15,318 --> 00:54:16,886 It's true, I'm young. 990 00:54:16,886 --> 00:54:19,689 I graduated college when I was 16, 991 00:54:19,689 --> 00:54:21,791 and completed my medical training overseas. 992 00:54:21,791 --> 00:54:23,560 Europe is where it's at. 993 00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:26,663 Sex is celebrated there at every age. 994 00:54:26,663 --> 00:54:28,565 We Americans have it all wrong. 995 00:54:28,565 --> 00:54:29,733 I'm trying to change that. 996 00:54:29,733 --> 00:54:31,801 A savior of sorts. 997 00:54:31,801 --> 00:54:33,536 Yeah. [chuckles] 998 00:54:35,338 --> 00:54:36,973 I'm sorry I'm staring. 999 00:54:36,973 --> 00:54:40,010 It's just that you have the most beautiful eyes. 1000 00:54:40,010 --> 00:54:41,711 I do? 1001 00:54:41,711 --> 00:54:43,780 It's just... 1002 00:54:48,351 --> 00:54:50,387 Do you mind? 1003 00:54:55,592 --> 00:54:58,561 Yes. There she is. 1004 00:54:58,561 --> 00:55:02,465 You definitely have the vibrant sexual being in there. 1005 00:55:02,465 --> 00:55:03,533 I could help you find it. 1006 00:55:04,934 --> 00:55:08,471 OK... This is great stuff, 1007 00:55:08,471 --> 00:55:10,807 but, uh, Sharon, it's getting late. 1008 00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:12,575 We've got that early meeting. 1009 00:55:12,575 --> 00:55:14,744 We should probably get your card and head up. 1010 00:55:14,744 --> 00:55:17,013 -We've got an early day tomorrow. -Calvin! 1011 00:55:17,013 --> 00:55:19,582 We're work colleagues, no! 1012 00:55:19,582 --> 00:55:21,384 Why don't we order some more drinks 1013 00:55:21,384 --> 00:55:24,087 and talk about this some more? I think it's fascinating! 1014 00:55:24,087 --> 00:55:27,357 -[chuckles] -Yeah! 1015 00:55:27,357 --> 00:55:29,726 Fascinating! 1016 00:55:29,726 --> 00:55:32,962 The mistake that people make with their lovers is forcefulness. 1017 00:55:32,962 --> 00:55:35,632 You have to approach these areas tenderly. 1018 00:55:35,632 --> 00:55:38,902 You have to gently coax 1019 00:55:38,902 --> 00:55:40,904 and gently coax some more 1020 00:55:40,904 --> 00:55:43,473 so that the body reaches for it, 1021 00:55:43,473 --> 00:55:45,375 desires the touch. 1022 00:55:46,476 --> 00:55:49,446 God, that makes so much sense! 1023 00:55:51,748 --> 00:55:54,351 Uhh, wow. 1024 00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:58,021 Sharon, look at the time, we should probably go! 1025 00:55:58,021 --> 00:55:59,589 Yeah, we should. 1026 00:55:59,589 --> 00:56:01,558 Can I walk you? 1027 00:56:01,558 --> 00:56:03,893 No, no. There's no need, I'll walk her. 1028 00:56:03,893 --> 00:56:05,595 Sharon, is this your key card? 1029 00:56:05,595 --> 00:56:08,498 Actually, a walk would be nice. 1030 00:56:08,498 --> 00:56:09,666 Thank you, Dr. Coxx. 1031 00:56:09,666 --> 00:56:11,534 But we have that meeting... 1032 00:56:11,534 --> 00:56:12,769 in the morning. 1033 00:56:12,769 --> 00:56:15,538 Surely there's no time for a walk. 1034 00:56:15,538 --> 00:56:18,641 Calvin, I'm a grown woman. 1035 00:56:18,641 --> 00:56:22,145 I know when I need a walk. 1036 00:56:23,580 --> 00:56:25,648 -Shall we? -Of course. 1037 00:56:25,648 --> 00:56:27,450 Grab my jacket. 1038 00:56:29,919 --> 00:56:31,588 [scoffs] 1039 00:56:31,588 --> 00:56:35,992 [chuckles] Goodnight! 1040 00:56:35,992 --> 00:56:38,061 [elevator dings] 1041 00:56:38,061 --> 00:56:40,163 [phone rings] 1042 00:56:40,163 --> 00:56:43,767 Tucker Aaronson and Walden, may I help you? 1043 00:56:53,676 --> 00:56:56,613 Uh, let me transfer you. 1044 00:56:56,613 --> 00:56:58,848 Wow, those are some ugly panties. 1045 00:57:00,049 --> 00:57:04,154 Yeah, they, uh... for a case. 1046 00:57:04,154 --> 00:57:09,125 [chuckles] We are working on the case of the terrible granny panties, so... 1047 00:57:09,125 --> 00:57:12,028 Must be a big case! [snorts] 1048 00:57:12,028 --> 00:57:17,100 [chuckles] It is. It is... 1049 00:57:18,701 --> 00:57:20,970 -Hold all my calls. -OK. 1050 00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:28,711 Sharon Gottlieb? 1051 00:57:28,711 --> 00:57:31,815 You might as well have told me that size really doesn't matter 1052 00:57:31,815 --> 00:57:35,618 and that the female orgasm is made of rainbows. 1053 00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:40,723 Well, I'm sorry that she surprised you, but she didn't surprise me. 1054 00:57:40,723 --> 00:57:42,125 It's probably been a long time 1055 00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:44,060 since a man has looked at her like that, you know? 1056 00:57:44,060 --> 00:57:46,529 We gave her a golden opportunity and she took it. 1057 00:57:46,529 --> 00:57:51,201 She's clearly a sad woman with a blown-out vagina that needed tending. 1058 00:57:51,201 --> 00:57:55,705 I really wish I didn't know that about her. [chuckles] 1059 00:57:55,705 --> 00:58:00,477 But it's not everyone. It's not even the majority. 1060 00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,745 But it is. 1061 00:58:02,745 --> 00:58:04,113 That's what I've been trying to tell you. 1062 00:58:04,113 --> 00:58:05,715 You're wrong about people. 1063 00:58:05,715 --> 00:58:06,850 It's not that simple. 1064 00:58:06,850 --> 00:58:10,487 Yeah, well, I wish it weren't. 1065 00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:12,522 You know, the tragic thing? 1066 00:58:12,522 --> 00:58:15,525 That a 220-pound man wears smiley-faced boxers? 1067 00:58:15,525 --> 00:58:16,926 [chuckles] 1068 00:58:16,926 --> 00:58:20,497 OK. OK, what's tragic? 1069 00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:24,801 Well, the tragic thing is that if you win, 1070 00:58:24,801 --> 00:58:28,605 your blog lives on and you get to write your book, 1071 00:58:28,605 --> 00:58:34,177 but you and I get six months, and then... it's over. 1072 00:58:36,946 --> 00:58:39,282 I mean, six months is... 1073 00:58:40,850 --> 00:58:42,218 God, that's nothing. 1074 00:58:48,057 --> 00:58:50,660 Hey kids, how we doing? 1075 00:58:50,660 --> 00:58:53,196 Simon, my man! 1076 00:58:53,196 --> 00:58:56,132 We are doing fantastic. 1077 00:58:56,132 --> 00:58:59,903 As a matter of fact, we've got some great news. 1078 00:58:59,903 --> 00:59:02,672 That loan for the penis extension finally came through? 1079 00:59:02,672 --> 00:59:05,675 [laughs] This guy. 1080 00:59:05,675 --> 00:59:07,644 No man, um, 1081 00:59:07,644 --> 00:59:12,181 Lauren and I are getting married. 1082 00:59:12,181 --> 00:59:15,318 Wow, I mean... 1083 00:59:15,318 --> 00:59:17,020 Wow, that was quick! 1084 00:59:17,020 --> 00:59:19,088 Yeah. I'm not pregnant. 1085 00:59:19,088 --> 00:59:22,625 Well then, drinks are on the house. 1086 00:59:22,625 --> 00:59:23,993 Hey, thank you, brother. 1087 00:59:23,993 --> 00:59:26,629 And listen, I'd love to have the bachelor party 1088 00:59:26,629 --> 00:59:29,933 right here at Tucci's. Is the back room available for Saturday night? 1089 00:59:29,933 --> 00:59:31,868 -It's all yours. -Awesome! Awesome! 1090 00:59:31,868 --> 00:59:34,270 And we'll head back to my place after for some shenanigans? 1091 00:59:34,270 --> 00:59:38,207 -Yeah, love it. -[laughs] 1092 00:59:38,207 --> 00:59:40,944 -Huh? -Bachelor party, huh? 1093 00:59:40,944 --> 00:59:42,812 -Shenanigans? -Hey, come on, 1094 00:59:42,812 --> 00:59:44,914 what better opportunity for someone to cheat 1095 00:59:44,914 --> 00:59:46,115 than a bachelor party? 1096 00:59:46,115 --> 00:59:47,684 It's practically in the handbook. 1097 00:59:47,684 --> 00:59:50,086 -I knew there was a handbook. -Uh-huh. 1098 00:59:50,086 --> 00:59:52,989 Listen, two of our competitors are going to be there 1099 00:59:52,989 --> 00:59:54,123 and you only need one to cheat 1100 00:59:54,123 --> 00:59:55,692 for this competition to be over, 1101 00:59:55,692 --> 00:59:58,861 so we're going to finish this this weekend. 1102 00:59:58,861 --> 01:00:00,163 Finish it? 1103 01:00:01,664 --> 01:00:03,733 Well, that's what you want, right? 1104 01:00:03,733 --> 01:00:06,302 Your name in lights. Glory, the big win? 1105 01:00:08,071 --> 01:00:10,807 Yeah, all right. 1106 01:00:10,807 --> 01:00:14,010 Saturday bachelor party, we'll finish it. 1107 01:00:14,010 --> 01:00:17,013 Oh, and, uh, listen, 1108 01:00:17,013 --> 01:00:20,917 I would love some strippers for Saturday. 1109 01:00:20,917 --> 01:00:23,620 Do you think Corina knows any of those? 1110 01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:26,255 Gee, probably. 1111 01:00:26,255 --> 01:00:29,659 I thought so. Resourceful lady, that one. 1112 01:00:29,659 --> 01:00:32,829 -You have no idea. -[chuckles] 1113 01:00:34,731 --> 01:00:36,766 So, are you just doing this for the gifts? 1114 01:00:36,766 --> 01:00:38,301 'Cause we could use a new Keurig. 1115 01:00:38,301 --> 01:00:41,337 -Nah, no gifts. -Then why? 1116 01:00:41,337 --> 01:00:44,173 Women are happy to stay engaged for like, ever! 1117 01:00:44,173 --> 01:00:46,009 It's a get out of jail free card, man. 1118 01:00:46,009 --> 01:00:48,711 [chuckles] Does Danielle know this? 1119 01:00:48,711 --> 01:00:52,115 She doesn't not know it. 1120 01:00:52,115 --> 01:00:55,051 Ahh, Jacob, you are an island. 1121 01:00:55,051 --> 01:00:56,853 So check this out. 1122 01:00:56,853 --> 01:00:59,756 It's the prototype for my new app, Mars Calling Venus. 1123 01:00:59,756 --> 01:01:01,758 A guy can ask Venus anything he wants to know, 1124 01:01:01,758 --> 01:01:02,959 and she'll tell him the truth 1125 01:01:02,959 --> 01:01:04,661 about what women are really thinking. 1126 01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:08,898 So, say for example... sexual partners. 1127 01:01:08,898 --> 01:01:11,234 -[keys clacking] -[computer chiming] 1128 01:01:11,234 --> 01:01:14,804 The average woman has had eight lovers, but when polled, 1129 01:01:14,804 --> 01:01:18,775 76% said they'd lie and answer four or less. 1130 01:01:18,775 --> 01:01:22,412 Naughty, naughty, Venus. Naughty, naughty, Venus. 1131 01:01:22,412 --> 01:01:24,347 -[chiming] -Is that it? 1132 01:01:26,182 --> 01:01:27,984 Well, she gets naked. 1133 01:01:27,984 --> 01:01:30,153 And I loaded her with car and sports trivia. 1134 01:01:30,153 --> 01:01:32,722 Ed got me a meeting with some suits on Monday. 1135 01:01:32,722 --> 01:01:34,290 Ooh, I'm going to be rich! 1136 01:01:34,290 --> 01:01:37,760 Did you make her look like Lauren? 1137 01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:39,996 -What? -Yeah, you... 1138 01:01:39,996 --> 01:01:42,031 Is that a mole under her left eye? 1139 01:01:42,031 --> 01:01:45,702 Dude, you have lost your mind. 1140 01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:49,872 This woman has straight up crawled up inside your brain and made you go wonky! 1141 01:01:49,872 --> 01:01:52,809 So, party tonight at Tucci's? 1142 01:01:55,144 --> 01:01:56,746 I'll wear a suit. 1143 01:01:56,746 --> 01:01:58,981 You don't own a suit. 1144 01:01:58,981 --> 01:02:01,718 You own a suit. 1145 01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,354 I own a suit. [sighs] 1146 01:02:09,025 --> 01:02:12,061 -[chatter] -I've had a lot of free time. 1147 01:02:12,061 --> 01:02:13,396 [laughs] 1148 01:02:16,132 --> 01:02:19,168 There's the three rings of marriage, brother. 1149 01:02:19,168 --> 01:02:22,805 There's the engagement ring, the wedding ring, 1150 01:02:22,805 --> 01:02:24,841 and then there's the suffer-ring! 1151 01:02:24,841 --> 01:02:28,377 -[guys groan] -Boo! 1152 01:02:28,377 --> 01:02:30,780 Boo that man. 1153 01:02:32,281 --> 01:02:34,917 Oh, man, I can't believe you're getting married. 1154 01:02:34,917 --> 01:02:38,054 You know how long Jenny has been harassing me to pull the trigger? 1155 01:02:38,054 --> 01:02:39,956 She wants four kids. 1156 01:02:39,956 --> 01:02:41,791 Dang, that's a lot of kids. 1157 01:02:41,791 --> 01:02:43,226 That is a lot of kids. 1158 01:02:43,226 --> 01:02:46,295 In Korea we have large families of many generations 1159 01:02:46,295 --> 01:02:48,498 and we all live together under one roof. 1160 01:02:48,498 --> 01:02:50,500 You grew up in Napa Valley. 1161 01:02:50,500 --> 01:02:51,901 But my people, we... We started-- 1162 01:02:51,901 --> 01:02:54,537 Your parents own a winery... in Napa! 1163 01:02:54,537 --> 01:02:55,838 [laughter] 1164 01:02:59,809 --> 01:03:01,844 So, what flipped the switch? 1165 01:03:01,844 --> 01:03:04,881 What can I say, fellas? I love her. 1166 01:03:04,881 --> 01:03:06,883 -I hope so. -Drink to that. 1167 01:03:10,186 --> 01:03:13,389 Mm. What about you, Ed, do you love Kimberly? 1168 01:03:13,389 --> 01:03:16,993 Um, let me see. I married the girl when we were 18 years old, 1169 01:03:16,993 --> 01:03:18,895 so yeah, I think I love her. 1170 01:03:18,895 --> 01:03:22,098 No, that's time, man. I'm talking about love. 1171 01:03:22,098 --> 01:03:25,001 Real love, the kind you walk through fire for, 1172 01:03:25,001 --> 01:03:26,335 you know what I'm saying? 1173 01:03:26,335 --> 01:03:29,405 Well, yeah. She's my girl. 1174 01:03:31,107 --> 01:03:33,042 Yeah, she is, right? 1175 01:03:33,042 --> 01:03:35,077 And she's a good one. 1176 01:03:35,077 --> 01:03:37,547 Things have been going great since I started rubbing her feet. 1177 01:03:37,547 --> 01:03:41,250 Sometimes she'll even put on her old cheerleading outfit 1178 01:03:41,250 --> 01:03:43,586 -and wear it for me. -There you go. 1179 01:03:43,586 --> 01:03:46,823 -Jenny thinks outfits are silly. -Yeah, well, they're not. 1180 01:03:46,823 --> 01:03:49,592 My girl looks pretty amazing in that outfit. 1181 01:03:49,592 --> 01:03:52,094 Well, that sounds like love to me, man. 1182 01:03:52,094 --> 01:03:56,132 -Cheerleader love. -[laughter] 1183 01:03:56,132 --> 01:03:58,100 Does she still love you? 1184 01:03:58,100 --> 01:03:59,368 Damn right, she loves me. 1185 01:03:59,368 --> 01:04:01,304 What kind of question is that to ask a man? 1186 01:04:01,304 --> 01:04:03,940 -It's just a question. -Yeah, come on, why so defensive? 1187 01:04:05,174 --> 01:04:07,410 You boys better get your heads in check. 1188 01:04:07,410 --> 01:04:11,113 That woman loves me! She calls me her Eddie Pie. 1189 01:04:11,113 --> 01:04:13,015 -[laughter] -What? 1190 01:04:13,015 --> 01:04:15,218 Whoa, hold on, say that again? 1191 01:04:15,218 --> 01:04:18,955 It's not like an edible pie? Like a Tasty Pastry? 1192 01:04:18,955 --> 01:04:24,126 OK, Eddie Pie. I mean, it sounds like you're it for her. 1193 01:04:24,126 --> 01:04:26,896 Like, you are her White Knight. 1194 01:04:26,896 --> 01:04:29,332 Hmm. 1195 01:04:29,332 --> 01:04:32,101 Black Knight. I'm her Black Knight. 1196 01:04:32,101 --> 01:04:35,571 -Yes, you are. Black Knight. -Yeah. 1197 01:04:35,571 --> 01:04:37,106 No, No! 1198 01:04:37,106 --> 01:04:40,543 ♪ Happy Birthday, Mr. President ♪ 1199 01:04:40,543 --> 01:04:45,147 -♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪ -[all groan] 1200 01:04:45,147 --> 01:04:46,649 We're jamming. 1201 01:04:46,649 --> 01:04:48,651 There you go. 1202 01:04:54,390 --> 01:04:56,959 Hey, all I'm saying is you're a lucky man. 1203 01:04:56,959 --> 01:05:00,363 That sense of truly finding the one? It's pretty rare. 1204 01:05:00,363 --> 01:05:02,598 Yeah. 1205 01:05:02,598 --> 01:05:05,635 You call it. Do that. 1206 01:05:05,635 --> 01:05:08,170 Maybe four isn't so many. 1207 01:05:08,170 --> 01:05:09,639 Now that's a butt load of kids. 1208 01:05:09,639 --> 01:05:12,074 -Shh. [laughs] -That's a butt load of kids. 1209 01:05:12,074 --> 01:05:15,144 -That's a butt load of kids. -[laughter] 1210 01:05:19,515 --> 01:05:21,918 I love you too, baby. 1211 01:05:24,220 --> 01:05:27,423 Maybe when I get home you can... 1212 01:05:27,423 --> 01:05:32,194 wear that little... outfit for me? 1213 01:05:32,194 --> 01:05:33,462 All right. 1214 01:05:35,598 --> 01:05:39,201 All right. Bye-bye, baby. 1215 01:05:41,170 --> 01:05:43,072 It's noisy in there, huh? 1216 01:05:44,373 --> 01:05:46,943 You with all those crazy guys? 1217 01:05:48,144 --> 01:05:50,112 Uh, yeah. 1218 01:05:52,048 --> 01:05:54,984 It's hot in there, too. 1219 01:05:54,984 --> 01:05:57,153 I'm Corina. 1220 01:05:59,488 --> 01:06:00,957 Do you have a light? 1221 01:06:03,559 --> 01:06:06,529 -I don't smoke. -[laughs] 1222 01:06:08,230 --> 01:06:11,067 Well, you look smoking to me. 1223 01:06:11,067 --> 01:06:13,402 [laughs] 1224 01:06:13,402 --> 01:06:17,540 OK, OK... what you doing? 1225 01:06:17,540 --> 01:06:19,008 What do you mean, "What am I doing?" 1226 01:06:19,008 --> 01:06:20,176 I'm talking to you. 1227 01:06:20,176 --> 01:06:22,244 You're doing more than just that. 1228 01:06:24,613 --> 01:06:27,717 Maybe I am. Do you have a name? 1229 01:06:28,718 --> 01:06:30,286 I got a name. 1230 01:06:30,286 --> 01:06:33,055 I just don't know I want you to have it. 1231 01:06:33,055 --> 01:06:34,757 Is that so? 1232 01:06:41,230 --> 01:06:43,499 My name is Eddie Pie. 1233 01:06:43,499 --> 01:06:45,701 I am a Black Knight. 1234 01:06:47,236 --> 01:06:49,238 Goodnight, fair lady. 1235 01:06:52,742 --> 01:06:54,543 [sighs] 1236 01:06:54,543 --> 01:06:56,145 Good for him. 1237 01:06:56,145 --> 01:06:59,115 [dance music] 1238 01:07:11,193 --> 01:07:12,361 ♪ Scratch my back ♪ 1239 01:07:24,507 --> 01:07:26,375 ♪ Scratch my back ♪ 1240 01:07:35,618 --> 01:07:37,053 ♪ Scratch my back ♪ 1241 01:07:48,297 --> 01:07:51,400 ♪ Very long time ♪ 1242 01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:52,768 [grunts] 1243 01:07:52,768 --> 01:07:54,470 That's better. [clears throat] 1244 01:07:54,470 --> 01:07:58,207 Now... tell me where you want it? 1245 01:07:58,207 --> 01:07:59,809 -I know where I want it. -Wait your turn. 1246 01:07:59,809 --> 01:08:01,710 It's never my turn. 1247 01:08:01,710 --> 01:08:04,647 -You want to take a shot? -No, I'm trying to quit. 1248 01:08:04,647 --> 01:08:08,751 Aww. Well, you don't mind if I take one, do you? 1249 01:08:08,751 --> 01:08:09,785 -Yeah. -Up. 1250 01:08:09,785 --> 01:08:12,388 Wait. Whoa... 1251 01:08:12,388 --> 01:08:15,724 [clamoring] 1252 01:08:19,795 --> 01:08:21,630 [Calvin] OK... 1253 01:08:21,630 --> 01:08:25,568 OK, now... where do we want it? 1254 01:08:25,568 --> 01:08:26,735 I don't. 1255 01:08:26,735 --> 01:08:28,370 Oh, you naughty boy. 1256 01:08:28,370 --> 01:08:30,272 In the crotch, huh? 1257 01:08:30,272 --> 01:08:33,542 That just so happens to be my favorite place to take it. 1258 01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:37,546 -How'd you know? -[guys clamor] 1259 01:08:37,546 --> 01:08:39,648 All right, now, you have to be very careful, 1260 01:08:39,648 --> 01:08:41,717 'cause if you move, it'll spill. 1261 01:08:41,717 --> 01:08:44,487 And let me make one thing clear, 1262 01:08:44,487 --> 01:08:49,825 I am taking that shot, every last drop. 1263 01:08:49,825 --> 01:08:51,527 [chuckles] 1264 01:08:51,527 --> 01:08:52,628 Are we ready, boys? 1265 01:08:52,628 --> 01:08:53,729 -[all] Yeah. -No, no. 1266 01:08:53,729 --> 01:08:55,865 -Here we go! -Ohh! Ohh! 1267 01:08:55,865 --> 01:08:59,135 Oh! You naughty boy. 1268 01:08:59,135 --> 01:09:04,707 Guess I'm just going to have to clean you all up with my tongue. 1269 01:09:04,707 --> 01:09:07,309 -Ooh. -Oh! 1270 01:09:07,309 --> 01:09:08,878 [sighs] 1271 01:09:11,881 --> 01:09:13,716 Here's some ice... 1272 01:09:19,555 --> 01:09:23,526 I'm really sorry, it was just a reflex. 1273 01:09:23,526 --> 01:09:25,494 Would you just make yourself useful 1274 01:09:25,494 --> 01:09:26,729 and hand me my purse? 1275 01:09:26,729 --> 01:09:29,932 I'm leaving. [sighs] 1276 01:09:29,932 --> 01:09:31,367 Thanks. 1277 01:09:35,638 --> 01:09:37,239 [door opens] 1278 01:09:37,239 --> 01:09:38,908 I didn't want a shot. 1279 01:09:52,488 --> 01:09:55,524 Ooh, boy, you really screwed that one up, buddy. 1280 01:09:55,524 --> 01:09:57,359 I can understand you not wanting 1281 01:09:57,359 --> 01:09:59,895 to show everyone Mr. Floppy, but did you really have to 1282 01:09:59,895 --> 01:10:01,697 knee that poor girl in the face? 1283 01:10:01,697 --> 01:10:03,966 It was a reflex, man. 1284 01:10:03,966 --> 01:10:06,735 Hey, uh, where's Simon? 1285 01:10:08,771 --> 01:10:10,606 And... Mandy? 1286 01:10:10,606 --> 01:10:13,509 Where are they? 1287 01:10:13,509 --> 01:10:15,811 They went for a walk. 1288 01:10:15,811 --> 01:10:18,514 Wait, you let them leave? 1289 01:10:27,856 --> 01:10:30,526 [cell phone ringing] 1290 01:10:34,463 --> 01:10:35,831 -Hello? -Hello, Lauren? 1291 01:10:35,831 --> 01:10:37,366 It's Heather Decker. 1292 01:10:37,366 --> 01:10:39,268 I have the update on your book offer. 1293 01:10:39,268 --> 01:10:41,971 They like the blog and your story around that, 1294 01:10:41,971 --> 01:10:43,772 but they caught wind of the competition. 1295 01:10:43,772 --> 01:10:45,741 They think that's a better angle. 1296 01:10:45,741 --> 01:10:48,244 Caught wind of it? How? 1297 01:10:48,244 --> 01:10:50,746 Your sister made a call to the publisher. 1298 01:10:50,746 --> 01:10:53,315 Apparently, she's not a fan of your blog. 1299 01:10:53,315 --> 01:10:56,552 She's pushing this new angle, and they like it a lot. 1300 01:10:56,552 --> 01:10:57,720 [scoffs] 1301 01:10:57,720 --> 01:10:59,888 Gena is not a fan of the blog. 1302 01:10:59,888 --> 01:11:01,957 Why doesn't she just stay out of my life? 1303 01:11:01,957 --> 01:11:04,927 Did you hear me, Lauren? They are very interested. 1304 01:11:04,927 --> 01:11:07,896 They are offering two million dollars for it. 1305 01:11:10,366 --> 01:11:12,835 -Two million? -Yes. 1306 01:11:12,835 --> 01:11:16,705 But you have to win. Otherwise, no deal. 1307 01:11:16,705 --> 01:11:19,275 Are you still there? 1308 01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:20,976 They want to talk to you on Monday. 1309 01:11:20,976 --> 01:11:23,045 They want to get started right away. 1310 01:11:23,045 --> 01:11:25,447 Yeah, I'm still here. 1311 01:11:25,447 --> 01:11:28,450 Listen, that's... that's an incredible offer, 1312 01:11:28,450 --> 01:11:30,052 that's amazing. 1313 01:11:30,052 --> 01:11:32,354 It's just it takes the whole thing 1314 01:11:32,354 --> 01:11:33,989 into a completely different direction 1315 01:11:33,989 --> 01:11:35,958 and I'm not sure that's the book 1316 01:11:35,958 --> 01:11:37,493 that I want to write. 1317 01:11:39,561 --> 01:11:42,865 Let me think about it for a couple of days. OK? 1318 01:11:42,865 --> 01:11:43,999 Thanks, Heather. 1319 01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:03,752 -Hey. -How could you do it, man? 1320 01:12:03,752 --> 01:12:06,655 -Do what? -You know what. 1321 01:12:06,655 --> 01:12:08,424 I don't know what you're talking about. 1322 01:12:08,424 --> 01:12:12,328 Did you sleep with her? Did you have sex with Mandy? 1323 01:12:12,328 --> 01:12:14,930 Look, man, I don't know what you're talking about, all right? 1324 01:12:14,930 --> 01:12:16,832 I thought you were better than that. 1325 01:12:16,832 --> 01:12:18,801 [grunting] 1326 01:12:18,801 --> 01:12:22,738 Ah! Get out of there, Cal, stop it! Get off of me! 1327 01:12:22,738 --> 01:12:23,872 You're still wearing your underwear. 1328 01:12:23,872 --> 01:12:26,342 Yes, of course! 1329 01:12:26,342 --> 01:12:27,643 What the hell, Cal! 1330 01:12:27,643 --> 01:12:30,446 Well, did... did you sleep with her or not? 1331 01:12:30,446 --> 01:12:33,115 Yeah, I slept with her. 1332 01:12:33,115 --> 01:12:34,983 Look, 1333 01:12:34,983 --> 01:12:39,355 we went down to the river and we talked. 1334 01:12:39,355 --> 01:12:41,023 After a little while she made a move, 1335 01:12:41,023 --> 01:12:44,360 but... I didn't want to. 1336 01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:48,430 I mean, I wanted to, but... I couldn't do it. 1337 01:12:48,430 --> 01:12:51,967 I've never cheated on Jenny, so we just slept. 1338 01:12:51,967 --> 01:12:54,570 -[laughs] -What are you laughing about? 1339 01:12:54,570 --> 01:12:57,539 You, man! You're the man!! 1340 01:12:57,539 --> 01:13:01,477 -[shouting] -Oh, God, OK, all right! 1341 01:13:01,477 --> 01:13:04,780 I knew it, I knew you were one of the good guys, man! 1342 01:13:04,780 --> 01:13:08,650 I knew it! OK, that's two. 1343 01:13:08,650 --> 01:13:10,619 -Come on, baby, yeah. -All right, all right. 1344 01:13:15,391 --> 01:13:18,093 All right, I believe you. You know... 1345 01:13:18,093 --> 01:13:20,963 Of course, we'll never really know what happened out there. 1346 01:13:20,963 --> 01:13:23,532 But if Mandy didn't get his underwear, 1347 01:13:23,532 --> 01:13:26,802 then I guess we'll say nothing happened. 1348 01:13:26,802 --> 01:13:30,472 Although, she's quite taken with Simon. 1349 01:13:30,472 --> 01:13:32,841 She even wants me to let her know when he's single. 1350 01:13:32,841 --> 01:13:36,779 [chuckles] I don't think she's his type. 1351 01:13:36,779 --> 01:13:40,015 Yeah? She said he's the first man 1352 01:13:40,015 --> 01:13:43,786 to ever turn her down. Ever. 1353 01:13:46,655 --> 01:13:50,659 Hey, you know where I want to take you when all this is over? 1354 01:13:50,659 --> 01:13:52,661 It's not over yet. 1355 01:13:52,661 --> 01:13:54,463 I'll take you to Paris. 1356 01:13:54,463 --> 01:13:58,734 We can get some striped shirts and live the life of the mimes. 1357 01:13:58,734 --> 01:14:01,203 Really horny mimes. 1358 01:14:01,203 --> 01:14:03,071 [chuckles] 1359 01:14:05,541 --> 01:14:08,010 I know it's going to be tough for you to shut down that blog, 1360 01:14:08,010 --> 01:14:11,980 but, um, you know, maybe you don't have to. 1361 01:14:11,980 --> 01:14:16,218 Maybe you could just... turn it into something more positive. 1362 01:14:20,756 --> 01:14:24,226 Well, there's one more challenger left. 1363 01:14:24,226 --> 01:14:26,695 It could go down either way. 1364 01:14:26,695 --> 01:14:30,132 Ah, yes. The good minister Dooley. 1365 01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:33,035 Well, I'm sorry, babe, but he's a ringer for the home team. 1366 01:14:33,035 --> 01:14:35,504 My man is legit. 1367 01:14:35,504 --> 01:14:38,240 There is no way anyone is going to convince him 1368 01:14:38,240 --> 01:14:40,976 to cheat on his wife. [chuckles] Oh... 1369 01:14:40,976 --> 01:14:43,111 People can surprise you. 1370 01:14:43,111 --> 01:14:46,482 Mm. Yes, they can. 1371 01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:49,918 If there's one thing this competition has taught me it's that. 1372 01:14:52,187 --> 01:14:53,789 Well, [clears throat] we've decided 1373 01:14:53,789 --> 01:14:55,224 to have the last challenge at Corina's house. 1374 01:14:55,224 --> 01:14:56,658 I'll text you the address. 1375 01:14:56,658 --> 01:14:58,527 Just tell the minister 1376 01:14:58,527 --> 01:15:01,029 that he should come by around 7 1377 01:15:01,029 --> 01:15:05,534 and that you have a friend who needs some guidance. 1378 01:15:05,534 --> 01:15:07,069 We're running a conversion con. 1379 01:15:07,069 --> 01:15:10,772 -A conversion con? -[laughing] 1380 01:15:10,772 --> 01:15:12,241 Listen to you. 1381 01:15:12,241 --> 01:15:13,942 It's a good thing this is almost over. 1382 01:15:13,942 --> 01:15:16,211 You're turning into a regular gangster. 1383 01:15:16,211 --> 01:15:19,515 Well, I have a meeting with the publishers on Monday, 1384 01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:25,087 they want to, you know, discuss the book proposal, details... 1385 01:15:25,087 --> 01:15:26,922 Well, either way, you're going to have 1386 01:15:26,922 --> 01:15:29,291 an interesting story to tell. 1387 01:15:31,593 --> 01:15:33,996 Hey, you want to have dinner with me tomorrow night 1388 01:15:33,996 --> 01:15:36,198 while all this is going down? 1389 01:15:36,198 --> 01:15:37,933 You know, we can celebrate... 1390 01:15:37,933 --> 01:15:40,636 either way, like a couple of good sports. 1391 01:15:40,636 --> 01:15:43,238 Wait for the results together? 1392 01:15:45,173 --> 01:15:46,675 Yeah. 1393 01:15:48,043 --> 01:15:49,278 I'd like that. 1394 01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:51,847 Okay. 1395 01:15:51,847 --> 01:15:53,849 [insects chirping] 1396 01:15:58,186 --> 01:16:00,222 I talked to Minister Dooley this afternoon 1397 01:16:00,222 --> 01:16:02,558 and he was all in for bringing in another lost sheep, 1398 01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:06,762 so... the last competition has begun. 1399 01:16:06,762 --> 01:16:08,263 -[sighs] -May the best man win. 1400 01:16:08,263 --> 01:16:10,933 May the best person win. 1401 01:16:14,069 --> 01:16:15,137 [cell phone buzzing] 1402 01:16:15,137 --> 01:16:16,705 Oh, excuse me. 1403 01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,809 Hello, this is Calvin. 1404 01:16:20,809 --> 01:16:22,578 Uh-huh? 1405 01:16:22,578 --> 01:16:24,680 Oh, you're kidding? 1406 01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:27,649 Yeah, is he all right? 1407 01:16:27,649 --> 01:16:30,619 OK, sure. Sure, yeah, thanks for letting me know. 1408 01:16:30,619 --> 01:16:32,721 Uh-huh. Bye-bye. 1409 01:16:34,356 --> 01:16:36,758 -Wow. -What happened? 1410 01:16:36,758 --> 01:16:40,295 Umm, Minister Dooley is in the hospital. 1411 01:16:40,295 --> 01:16:42,230 -What? -Yeah, apparently, 1412 01:16:42,230 --> 01:16:44,333 he broke his leg playing hoops today. 1413 01:16:44,333 --> 01:16:48,804 Oh, God, well... poor Minister Dooley, 1414 01:16:48,804 --> 01:16:51,807 but I'm supposed to be meeting with the publisher 1415 01:16:51,807 --> 01:16:54,109 on Monday-- I can't keep pushing them off. 1416 01:16:54,109 --> 01:16:55,644 Yeah, I know. I know. 1417 01:16:55,644 --> 01:17:00,349 Um. All right. We need a new competitor. 1418 01:17:00,349 --> 01:17:03,952 So, um... 1419 01:17:03,952 --> 01:17:05,721 Jacob. 1420 01:17:05,721 --> 01:17:07,389 I'll send Jacob, it's perfect. 1421 01:17:07,389 --> 01:17:08,991 -Jacob? -Yeah, sure, 1422 01:17:08,991 --> 01:17:10,759 he's in the dark about all this like we agreed, 1423 01:17:10,759 --> 01:17:13,261 and he's been engaged to Danielle for over a year, 1424 01:17:13,261 --> 01:17:14,796 so he fits the bill, right? 1425 01:17:14,796 --> 01:17:18,634 I'll just, uh, text him that a friend 1426 01:17:18,634 --> 01:17:21,203 needs help with her computer 1427 01:17:21,203 --> 01:17:24,873 -[sent text alert] -and we'll see what happens. 1428 01:17:24,873 --> 01:17:26,975 -It could work. -Yeah, yeah, it's going to be good. 1429 01:17:26,975 --> 01:17:29,645 It's going to be good. We are still going to end this tonight. 1430 01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:32,314 -[cell phone buzzing] -[laughs] Ah, he's free. 1431 01:17:32,314 --> 01:17:38,153 Sweet! OK, let me text him the address and boom. 1432 01:17:38,153 --> 01:17:42,190 Done. We're back on, OK? 1433 01:17:45,027 --> 01:17:47,062 He's kind of a freak, right? 1434 01:17:47,062 --> 01:17:48,964 I mean, you sure you want to use him? 1435 01:17:48,964 --> 01:17:51,933 But... he doesn't go for easy women. 1436 01:17:51,933 --> 01:17:54,670 Huh, so, you scared? 1437 01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:56,004 Right? You're scared. 1438 01:17:56,004 --> 01:17:58,073 You're sensing another W for team Calvin. 1439 01:17:58,073 --> 01:18:00,842 Don't refer to yourself in the third person. 1440 01:18:00,842 --> 01:18:03,245 And don't be a sore loser. 1441 01:18:03,245 --> 01:18:06,348 All right? Excuse me, I'm going to restroom. 1442 01:18:06,348 --> 01:18:08,383 It's a close one. 1443 01:18:08,383 --> 01:18:11,253 Jacob's good. Jacob's good. 1444 01:18:13,855 --> 01:18:15,457 [cell phone buzzing] 1445 01:18:26,468 --> 01:18:31,139 [whispers] Oh, this is bad, bad, bad... 1446 01:18:48,223 --> 01:18:49,424 Hey, Simon. 1447 01:18:49,424 --> 01:18:51,326 Can you just, uh, 1448 01:18:51,326 --> 01:18:53,895 tell Calvin that I started feeling really bad 1449 01:18:53,895 --> 01:18:56,064 and I had to leave and I'll call him later? 1450 01:18:56,064 --> 01:18:58,366 -Yeah. -Great, thanks. 1451 01:19:08,376 --> 01:19:10,879 [cell phone buzzes] 1452 01:19:32,934 --> 01:19:35,871 Hey, Simon, man, did you see where Lauren went? 1453 01:19:35,871 --> 01:19:38,306 She said she wasn't feeling well and that she'd call you. 1454 01:19:38,306 --> 01:19:41,443 What, she just took off? Did she look sick? 1455 01:19:41,443 --> 01:19:44,045 She seemed kind of pale, I guess? 1456 01:19:46,515 --> 01:19:48,984 [sighs] 1457 01:19:48,984 --> 01:19:51,086 [doorbell rings] 1458 01:19:58,393 --> 01:20:01,096 Oh, wow, Jacob, hey, come in! 1459 01:20:01,096 --> 01:20:04,800 Hey, tech geek to the rescue. 1460 01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:07,402 I don't know, you don't look like a geek to me, Jacob. 1461 01:20:07,402 --> 01:20:08,937 You OK? 1462 01:20:08,937 --> 01:20:11,406 The computer's just in the bedroom upstairs. 1463 01:20:11,406 --> 01:20:14,109 O...kay. 1464 01:20:17,946 --> 01:20:19,881 So, where's Cal? 1465 01:20:19,881 --> 01:20:23,185 Oh... Cal didn't tell you? 1466 01:20:23,185 --> 01:20:26,521 Yeah, we broke up last night. 1467 01:20:26,521 --> 01:20:30,258 Everything was just moving too fast. 1468 01:20:30,258 --> 01:20:33,261 It's OK though. We're still friends. 1469 01:20:35,096 --> 01:20:36,965 Really? 1470 01:20:41,469 --> 01:20:43,405 So... 1471 01:20:46,541 --> 01:20:49,211 this is the one that's giving me trouble. 1472 01:20:49,211 --> 01:20:53,949 So, is it running slowly or not at all? 1473 01:20:53,949 --> 01:20:57,252 Slowly. But then it freezes and then I have to 1474 01:20:57,252 --> 01:20:59,154 shut the whole thing off and start over again. 1475 01:20:59,154 --> 01:21:01,122 It's-it's infuriating. 1476 01:21:01,122 --> 01:21:03,124 It sounds like you just need to clean up your hard drive, 1477 01:21:03,124 --> 01:21:05,293 maybe run a de-frag. 1478 01:21:05,293 --> 01:21:06,862 Let me clean some stuff up here 1479 01:21:06,862 --> 01:21:08,396 to see if that fixes the problem. 1480 01:21:08,396 --> 01:21:10,866 -Thanks. -Mm-hmm. 1481 01:21:12,601 --> 01:21:15,871 I'm lucky to have a bonafide computer genius to help me. 1482 01:21:15,871 --> 01:21:17,138 [kisses cheek] 1483 01:21:18,506 --> 01:21:21,276 Yeah, that's me. 1484 01:21:33,288 --> 01:21:34,489 Wow. 1485 01:21:34,489 --> 01:21:36,892 What? 1486 01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:38,627 Oh, your-your shoulders are really tight. 1487 01:21:38,627 --> 01:21:40,328 When was the last time you had a massage? 1488 01:21:40,328 --> 01:21:44,299 Oh, my God, [chuckles] I don't know. Never. 1489 01:21:44,299 --> 01:21:46,167 Danielle doesn't give you shoulder rubs? 1490 01:21:46,167 --> 01:21:47,168 No. 1491 01:21:50,472 --> 01:21:54,042 Here, unbutton this, let me get in there. 1492 01:21:57,479 --> 01:21:59,681 Oh, God, that feels good. 1493 01:22:01,149 --> 01:22:02,217 [cell phone buzzes] 1494 01:22:03,218 --> 01:22:04,219 Oh... 1495 01:22:06,688 --> 01:22:07,956 [clears throat] 1496 01:22:31,012 --> 01:22:34,282 [sighs] Just need to let the de-frag run a little while. 1497 01:22:34,282 --> 01:22:35,450 Takes a bit. 1498 01:22:35,450 --> 01:22:38,019 Thanks. 1499 01:22:40,455 --> 01:22:45,627 So, you and Calvin are definitely over? 1500 01:22:45,627 --> 01:22:48,530 [sighs] 1501 01:22:48,530 --> 01:22:52,000 [scoffs] I just want this whole thing to be over. 1502 01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:54,569 [sighs] I'm so confused. 1503 01:22:54,569 --> 01:22:58,206 I just... I can't even think straight. 1504 01:23:00,608 --> 01:23:02,744 Broke up? 1505 01:23:07,649 --> 01:23:10,652 -[sighs] -Hey, hey, it's OK. 1506 01:23:10,652 --> 01:23:14,122 Everything is OK. I'm here. 1507 01:23:16,057 --> 01:23:18,259 Yeah. 1508 01:23:18,259 --> 01:23:20,462 Yeah, you are, aren't you? 1509 01:23:21,663 --> 01:23:25,133 Yeah, I'm here. 1510 01:23:25,133 --> 01:23:28,536 You've, uh, you've been a great friend, Jacob. 1511 01:23:28,536 --> 01:23:31,106 Yeah? All right. 1512 01:23:31,106 --> 01:23:34,175 I think I understand you pretty well. 1513 01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:37,612 Yeah, I always really liked you. 1514 01:23:40,615 --> 01:23:43,184 Oh, um... Sorry, sorry. 1515 01:23:43,184 --> 01:23:47,288 Just my head really hurts. I need an aspirin. 1516 01:23:47,288 --> 01:23:49,290 You're the perfect woman, Lauren. 1517 01:23:49,290 --> 01:23:51,359 -What? -You're the perfect woman. 1518 01:23:51,359 --> 01:23:54,429 I created an app that I sold for a ton of money this week 1519 01:23:54,429 --> 01:23:57,699 and it's all about you. The perfect woman. 1520 01:23:57,699 --> 01:24:00,301 I'm going to be rich and now that Calvin is out of the way, 1521 01:24:00,301 --> 01:24:02,670 I can take care of you like you deserve. 1522 01:24:02,670 --> 01:24:08,143 Uhh, I'm not the perfect woman... at all. 1523 01:24:08,143 --> 01:24:11,212 You have no idea how messed up I am, actually. 1524 01:24:11,212 --> 01:24:14,416 Ohh, I'm so messed up, so maybe we're perfect for each other! 1525 01:24:14,416 --> 01:24:16,317 -Uh, wait, hold on. -What? 1526 01:24:16,317 --> 01:24:17,786 I think my phone is... yeah. 1527 01:24:17,786 --> 01:24:20,355 -Yeah, I did hear it... -[mumbles] 1528 01:24:20,355 --> 01:24:22,724 Uh, oh... Mom? 1529 01:24:22,724 --> 01:24:24,626 -Yeah, I'm, um... -Lauren? 1530 01:24:24,626 --> 01:24:26,694 You don't have to tease me anymore. 1531 01:24:26,694 --> 01:24:30,298 I'm already crazy about you. 1532 01:24:43,211 --> 01:24:46,481 I knew... I always knew we would be together, I just knew it! 1533 01:24:46,481 --> 01:24:47,615 What the hell is going on in here? 1534 01:24:47,615 --> 01:24:48,683 Oh, my God, Calvin. 1535 01:24:48,683 --> 01:24:51,086 Oh... Nothing, nothing. 1536 01:24:51,086 --> 01:24:54,355 Absolutely nothing. Oh my-- I'm so sorry. 1537 01:24:54,355 --> 01:24:59,227 It was the competition and I was trying to win. 1538 01:24:59,227 --> 01:25:04,132 Uh, isn't life really a competition? 1539 01:25:04,132 --> 01:25:05,300 Wait... [grunts] 1540 01:25:05,300 --> 01:25:07,435 Dude, you guys broke up! 1541 01:25:07,435 --> 01:25:09,504 You're a pig, man! What's wrong with you? 1542 01:25:09,504 --> 01:25:10,872 You're supposed to be my best friend. 1543 01:25:10,872 --> 01:25:12,874 Ohh! I'm the pig? 1544 01:25:12,874 --> 01:25:15,143 Is that how we're gonna play it? 1545 01:25:15,143 --> 01:25:16,778 -What about you? -What about me? 1546 01:25:16,778 --> 01:25:19,681 Oh, perfect freakin' undefeated Calvin Chesney 1547 01:25:19,681 --> 01:25:22,750 never does anything wrong, does he? 1548 01:25:22,750 --> 01:25:24,385 Or does he? 1549 01:25:24,385 --> 01:25:27,355 Huh, maybe we should ask Gena what she thinks? 1550 01:25:27,355 --> 01:25:28,490 Jake, don't. 1551 01:25:28,490 --> 01:25:30,725 Gena? What is he talking about? 1552 01:25:30,725 --> 01:25:32,427 -[chuckles] -Don't. 1553 01:25:32,427 --> 01:25:34,629 Calvin slept with your sister back in law school. 1554 01:25:34,629 --> 01:25:36,731 -Oh! -[gasps] 1555 01:25:38,633 --> 01:25:41,202 -Lauren, Lauren, wait a minute. -No. 1556 01:25:41,202 --> 01:25:43,204 I didn't... 1557 01:25:43,204 --> 01:25:45,573 Why did you do that, man? What's wrong with you? 1558 01:25:45,573 --> 01:25:48,476 -You should have told her. -I didn't sleep with Gena! 1559 01:25:50,211 --> 01:25:52,213 -Really? -Really. 1560 01:25:53,548 --> 01:25:55,150 No, no, that summer 1561 01:25:55,150 --> 01:25:57,252 you guys were all flirty and stuff. 1562 01:25:57,252 --> 01:25:58,620 You guys acted like you did! 1563 01:25:58,620 --> 01:26:00,922 No, man! We went on a few dates, 1564 01:26:00,922 --> 01:26:03,158 but we're friends for Christ's sake. 1565 01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:08,596 Yeah, yeah, I see what I did there. Sorry, my bad. 1566 01:26:08,596 --> 01:26:11,799 Yeah, sorry about your lip. 1567 01:26:11,799 --> 01:26:13,334 [groans] 1568 01:26:13,334 --> 01:26:15,403 -Lauren! -Oh, that hurts. 1569 01:26:15,403 --> 01:26:17,372 Lauren! Lauren? 1570 01:26:25,313 --> 01:26:26,648 Are you OK? What happened? 1571 01:26:26,648 --> 01:26:27,949 Why didn't you tell me the truth? 1572 01:26:27,949 --> 01:26:30,585 What? Oh no, no, no, no. 1573 01:26:30,585 --> 01:26:33,588 He-- Look, he told me as soon as he met you 1574 01:26:33,588 --> 01:26:35,190 that he didn't want to make partner 1575 01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:36,691 just for getting you to shut the blog down. 1576 01:26:36,691 --> 01:26:37,892 -Wh-what? -What? 1577 01:26:37,892 --> 01:26:39,794 Oh no, no-- Oh, that's nothing. 1578 01:26:39,794 --> 01:26:42,297 -What's your thing? -[scoffs] Why did you lie to me 1579 01:26:42,297 --> 01:26:45,266 -about sleeping with Calvin? -I didn't sleep with Calvin. 1580 01:26:45,266 --> 01:26:46,668 [scoffs] Right, you didn't. 1581 01:26:46,668 --> 01:26:47,769 No! I didn't. 1582 01:26:47,769 --> 01:26:49,571 I-- We went on a couple dates 1583 01:26:49,571 --> 01:26:51,839 -in law school. -Then why didn't you say anything? 1584 01:26:51,839 --> 01:26:53,541 Because I didn't think you needed to know. 1585 01:26:53,541 --> 01:26:54,976 It was a long time ago, it was nothing! 1586 01:26:54,976 --> 01:26:56,644 You know, Gena, you're such a slut. 1587 01:26:56,644 --> 01:26:58,346 Excuse me? 1588 01:26:58,346 --> 01:26:59,881 I enjoy my life the way it is, 1589 01:26:59,881 --> 01:27:01,482 and I don't need to answer to you, 1590 01:27:01,482 --> 01:27:03,284 and I didn't sleep with Calvin. 1591 01:27:03,284 --> 01:27:05,720 Why would you send me someone you know is so wonderful 1592 01:27:05,720 --> 01:27:07,822 you know I would fall in love with him? 1593 01:27:07,822 --> 01:27:09,824 What, are you-are you trying to hurt me? 1594 01:27:09,824 --> 01:27:12,493 I'm sorry. 1595 01:27:12,493 --> 01:27:13,995 I knew how wonderful he was. 1596 01:27:13,995 --> 01:27:15,697 I knew you'd fall in love with him. 1597 01:27:15,697 --> 01:27:17,398 I was just trying to help. 1598 01:27:17,398 --> 01:27:20,001 Well, I guess your instincts are about as great as mine. 1599 01:27:20,001 --> 01:27:23,538 You know, I came on to Jacob tonight. 1600 01:27:23,538 --> 01:27:24,739 What, why? 1601 01:27:24,739 --> 01:27:27,342 It was the last challenge 1602 01:27:27,342 --> 01:27:30,878 and, God, I wanted to win, you know? 1603 01:27:30,878 --> 01:27:33,781 And I knew he had a crush on me 1604 01:27:33,781 --> 01:27:36,017 and I knew he would go for it, 1605 01:27:36,017 --> 01:27:42,423 and Calvin came in at the... oh, worst moment! 1606 01:27:43,992 --> 01:27:45,960 He's not going to forgive me. 1607 01:27:45,960 --> 01:27:48,963 -Come here. -[sobbing] I messed this up so bad. 1608 01:27:48,963 --> 01:27:50,865 Come here. 1609 01:28:20,328 --> 01:28:22,063 [coughing] 1610 01:28:33,675 --> 01:28:35,510 [sighs] 1611 01:28:50,058 --> 01:28:53,428 [sighs] I'm sorry I called you a slut, that was stupid. 1612 01:28:53,428 --> 01:28:56,597 That's all right. It takes one to know one. 1613 01:28:58,966 --> 01:29:01,903 -[sighs] -[doorbell rings] 1614 01:29:06,007 --> 01:29:08,609 [laughing] 1615 01:29:08,609 --> 01:29:10,945 Guess who got hitched!? 1616 01:29:10,945 --> 01:29:12,980 We wanted to call! 1617 01:29:12,980 --> 01:29:17,118 -But my heart could not wait! -But Alejandro insisted. 1618 01:29:17,118 --> 01:29:21,622 It was a field with a crescendo of grass for my... 1619 01:29:21,622 --> 01:29:22,957 beloved... 1620 01:29:22,957 --> 01:29:26,794 -So, we got... -[together] Married! 1621 01:29:26,794 --> 01:29:29,130 [laughter] 1622 01:29:29,130 --> 01:29:31,632 Mom, really? 1623 01:29:31,632 --> 01:29:35,970 -[sighs] -Oh, no, what happened? 1624 01:29:35,970 --> 01:29:40,508 Oh, you know, Gena and Calvin... 1625 01:29:40,508 --> 01:29:43,945 Gena, how could you? 1626 01:29:43,945 --> 01:29:48,449 Oh, it was a long time ago, they just didn't tell me. 1627 01:29:48,449 --> 01:29:49,984 [mom] Really, Gena? Do you have to sleep 1628 01:29:49,984 --> 01:29:54,422 -with every man in Portland? -I did not sleep with him! 1629 01:29:54,422 --> 01:29:56,691 The thing is, you know, I just... 1630 01:29:56,691 --> 01:29:58,659 I really love him. 1631 01:29:58,659 --> 01:30:02,730 My heart is, was, so... 1632 01:30:04,399 --> 01:30:05,767 full. 1633 01:30:05,767 --> 01:30:09,137 You know, it takes time to adjust to the fullness. 1634 01:30:09,137 --> 01:30:11,672 He's probably really, really hurt. 1635 01:30:11,672 --> 01:30:15,143 Yeah, but the thing is, did you intend to hurt him? 1636 01:30:15,143 --> 01:30:18,045 -No, no. -Would you do it again? 1637 01:30:18,045 --> 01:30:20,681 -No, never. -So, that's fine! 1638 01:30:20,681 --> 01:30:22,583 He will forgive you. 1639 01:30:22,583 --> 01:30:25,820 That's the beautiful fantastic thing about love. 1640 01:30:25,820 --> 01:30:26,921 You understand? 1641 01:30:26,921 --> 01:30:29,791 Yeah. Well, the thing is, 1642 01:30:29,791 --> 01:30:31,659 he's been lying to me the whole time. 1643 01:30:31,659 --> 01:30:34,629 So... [sighs] 1644 01:30:34,629 --> 01:30:35,997 How can I trust him? 1645 01:30:35,997 --> 01:30:39,901 I have an idea. 1646 01:30:39,901 --> 01:30:42,203 Lauren, 1647 01:30:42,203 --> 01:30:44,739 you are going to have to trust me. 1648 01:30:44,739 --> 01:30:47,742 -Oh... trust you? -[sent text alert] 1649 01:30:47,742 --> 01:30:51,679 Yeah. You're just going to have to do it. 1650 01:30:51,679 --> 01:30:54,482 And this, all this needs to be cleaned up, 1651 01:30:54,482 --> 01:30:56,083 uh, Alejandro will you move the cars outside 1652 01:30:56,083 --> 01:30:57,452 -so they can't be seen? -Of course. 1653 01:30:57,452 --> 01:31:00,655 And Mom? Help me close these curtains. 1654 01:31:00,655 --> 01:31:04,559 And Lauren, you just stay here and stay quiet. 1655 01:31:04,559 --> 01:31:05,726 G, what are you up to? 1656 01:31:05,726 --> 01:31:07,962 I'm the one who started all this. 1657 01:31:07,962 --> 01:31:11,899 Just give me a chance to make it right, please? 1658 01:31:11,899 --> 01:31:13,801 [sighs] 1659 01:31:16,037 --> 01:31:18,039 OK, do your worst. 1660 01:31:18,039 --> 01:31:19,474 OK. 1661 01:31:22,710 --> 01:31:26,614 ♪ No more fierce blue eyes ♪ 1662 01:31:26,614 --> 01:31:29,984 ♪ No more last goodbyes ♪ 1663 01:31:29,984 --> 01:31:33,554 ♪ No more patronizing ♪ 1664 01:31:35,723 --> 01:31:37,859 [doorbell rings] 1665 01:31:37,859 --> 01:31:40,194 ♪ No more alibis ♪ 1666 01:31:40,194 --> 01:31:42,029 [knocking, doorbell ringing rapidly] 1667 01:31:42,029 --> 01:31:44,866 ♪ No more do or die ♪ 1668 01:31:44,866 --> 01:31:48,636 ♪ The stakes are in the skies ♪ 1669 01:31:52,173 --> 01:31:54,742 Please tell me you didn't drive over here like that? 1670 01:31:54,742 --> 01:31:57,178 Mm. I took an Uber. 1671 01:31:57,178 --> 01:31:59,046 Good boy. 1672 01:31:59,046 --> 01:32:03,150 Oh, is that what this is... a work call? 1673 01:32:03,150 --> 01:32:05,987 Yeah, I thought we could go over 1674 01:32:05,987 --> 01:32:07,922 the husband's testimony again, 1675 01:32:07,922 --> 01:32:10,224 you know, see if there's anything we missed. 1676 01:32:10,224 --> 01:32:13,861 [groans] I don't feel like working tonight, Gena. 1677 01:32:13,861 --> 01:32:15,229 [Gena] Yeah, I can see that. 1678 01:32:15,229 --> 01:32:17,632 I'm glad you called, though. 1679 01:32:17,632 --> 01:32:19,634 I need a place to stay. 1680 01:32:19,634 --> 01:32:22,870 Of course. You know I'm always here for you. 1681 01:32:22,870 --> 01:32:24,739 You want to tell me what happened? 1682 01:32:24,739 --> 01:32:27,074 You're really pretty. 1683 01:32:27,074 --> 01:32:29,977 You're drunk. Why don't you tell me what happened? 1684 01:32:29,977 --> 01:32:32,580 [groans] 1685 01:32:32,580 --> 01:32:39,287 The competition. The last competition. 1686 01:32:39,287 --> 01:32:43,090 Your sister thought 1687 01:32:43,090 --> 01:32:44,659 it would be a kick 1688 01:32:44,659 --> 01:32:47,662 to challenge my best friend using herself as bait. 1689 01:32:47,662 --> 01:32:50,698 [Gena] Ouch, that must have stung. 1690 01:32:50,698 --> 01:32:52,266 Yeah. 1691 01:32:52,266 --> 01:32:53,301 Did he go for it? 1692 01:32:53,301 --> 01:32:56,671 Yeah, he went for it. 1693 01:32:56,671 --> 01:33:00,007 [scoffs] I don't know. 1694 01:33:00,007 --> 01:33:03,678 Maybe... maybe Lauren's right about people. 1695 01:33:03,678 --> 01:33:05,846 Did she get his underwear? 1696 01:33:05,846 --> 01:33:08,950 -What? -Isn't that a rule? 1697 01:33:10,084 --> 01:33:12,086 Yeah, 1698 01:33:12,086 --> 01:33:14,855 but no, she... she didn't get it. 1699 01:33:14,855 --> 01:33:16,857 -I interrupted them. -Oh. 1700 01:33:16,857 --> 01:33:22,263 Well, then I guess, technically, the challenge isn't over yet. 1701 01:33:22,263 --> 01:33:25,199 No, no, it's over. 1702 01:33:25,199 --> 01:33:29,003 Oh. Well, then cheers to it being over. 1703 01:33:36,177 --> 01:33:38,813 [Calvin] Do you think all men are pigs? 1704 01:33:38,813 --> 01:33:44,018 I think all men can be and so can all women. 1705 01:33:44,018 --> 01:33:48,889 It's a choice we make every day. 1706 01:33:48,889 --> 01:33:52,660 What about me? Am I a pig? 1707 01:33:52,660 --> 01:33:58,032 I think you can be if you choose. 1708 01:33:58,032 --> 01:34:00,635 If I choose. 1709 01:34:00,635 --> 01:34:02,937 Exactly. 1710 01:34:02,937 --> 01:34:06,774 Aww, you're hurt. 1711 01:34:08,042 --> 01:34:09,310 Mm. 1712 01:34:10,978 --> 01:34:13,648 Hey, um, you got a glass for this? 1713 01:34:13,648 --> 01:34:15,216 I hate drinking from the bottle. 1714 01:34:16,651 --> 01:34:17,752 [clears throat] 1715 01:34:19,020 --> 01:34:21,322 -Boo. -Oh, hi. 1716 01:34:21,322 --> 01:34:23,791 It's really hot in here. I don't think you need this. 1717 01:34:23,791 --> 01:34:25,726 OK. 1718 01:34:25,726 --> 01:34:27,695 You know, Cal, there is a reason 1719 01:34:27,695 --> 01:34:29,697 you were so willing to come over here tonight. 1720 01:34:29,697 --> 01:34:34,035 -There is? -Yeah, you know it, if you think about it. 1721 01:34:34,035 --> 01:34:36,804 If you're honest with yourself. 1722 01:34:39,674 --> 01:34:41,676 You and me are like the same person, Cal, 1723 01:34:41,676 --> 01:34:45,312 and people like Lauren, they have strict rules 1724 01:34:45,312 --> 01:34:47,782 that control their lives, you know. 1725 01:34:47,782 --> 01:34:51,052 They need those rules to feel safe. 1726 01:34:52,319 --> 01:34:53,754 And people like us? 1727 01:34:53,754 --> 01:34:56,023 We don't have rules. 1728 01:34:56,023 --> 01:35:00,861 We just listen to our wants and desires and follow them. 1729 01:35:00,861 --> 01:35:07,001 No right or wrong, just instinct. 1730 01:35:08,836 --> 01:35:11,338 -[mumbling] -Shh. 1731 01:35:11,338 --> 01:35:12,907 Wait what was that, did you hear something? 1732 01:35:12,907 --> 01:35:15,309 There's a TV on upstairs. 1733 01:35:15,309 --> 01:35:17,778 Remember that summer we spent together? 1734 01:35:17,778 --> 01:35:20,414 -Yeah. -Remember how good that felt? 1735 01:35:20,414 --> 01:35:25,119 -Yeah. -No strings, just instinct. 1736 01:35:26,854 --> 01:35:29,023 No one has to know. 1737 01:35:32,727 --> 01:35:34,028 Stop. 1738 01:35:35,329 --> 01:35:37,932 Stop right there. 1739 01:35:37,932 --> 01:35:40,835 This isn't happening. 1740 01:35:40,835 --> 01:35:43,137 What's not happening? 1741 01:35:43,137 --> 01:35:45,840 This! Me and you. 1742 01:35:45,840 --> 01:35:49,143 Because even if nobody knows that you did a bad thing, 1743 01:35:49,143 --> 01:35:50,745 it's still a bad thing. 1744 01:35:50,745 --> 01:35:54,782 And this, this, Gena, is a very, very bad thing. 1745 01:35:54,782 --> 01:35:56,751 You know, you're wrong about me, 1746 01:35:56,751 --> 01:35:59,520 because I believe in love, I believe in romance. 1747 01:35:59,520 --> 01:36:01,355 I believe in the soulful chemistry 1748 01:36:01,355 --> 01:36:03,958 between two people that just can't be explained. 1749 01:36:03,958 --> 01:36:06,527 I believe in bourbon, you know? 1750 01:36:06,527 --> 01:36:09,997 I believe in black coffee, strong black coffee. 1751 01:36:09,997 --> 01:36:11,966 I believe in getting eight hours of sleep at night, 1752 01:36:11,966 --> 01:36:14,468 and doing at least one thing to better yourself every day. 1753 01:36:14,468 --> 01:36:17,805 I believe the practice of law is fundamentally imperfect, 1754 01:36:17,805 --> 01:36:20,374 but we do the best we can, and sometimes we do good. 1755 01:36:20,374 --> 01:36:23,511 I believe that hook-up websites prey on people's fears of inadequacy, 1756 01:36:23,511 --> 01:36:25,379 novels are always better than movies, 1757 01:36:25,379 --> 01:36:27,515 and no formula, scientific or otherwise, 1758 01:36:27,515 --> 01:36:30,785 can determine with absolute certainty if someone is going to cheat or not! 1759 01:36:30,785 --> 01:36:33,821 Yes, I believe in instincts. 1760 01:36:33,821 --> 01:36:36,824 But unlike you, I know there is right and wrong, 1761 01:36:36,824 --> 01:36:38,959 and the wrong thing here is to indulge you 1762 01:36:38,959 --> 01:36:41,796 in whatever this is, because, A, you're my boss now, 1763 01:36:41,796 --> 01:36:43,831 and as weirdly hot as that might be, 1764 01:36:43,831 --> 01:36:47,001 it jeopardizes everything I've worked for and it's also illegal. 1765 01:36:47,001 --> 01:36:49,837 B, if it was ever going to work out between us, Gena, 1766 01:36:49,837 --> 01:36:52,306 it already would have a long time ago. 1767 01:36:52,306 --> 01:36:56,377 And C, because you used me for this stupid little scheme of yours. 1768 01:36:56,377 --> 01:36:58,946 I met Lauren. 1769 01:37:00,080 --> 01:37:02,082 I love her. 1770 01:37:03,450 --> 01:37:05,553 OK? 1771 01:37:05,553 --> 01:37:07,588 I love her. 1772 01:37:07,588 --> 01:37:09,390 She's everything I want in a partner. 1773 01:37:09,390 --> 01:37:12,092 She's beautiful, she's smart, she's quirky... 1774 01:37:12,092 --> 01:37:15,129 Yes, she's stubborn, but that's because she knows what she wants. 1775 01:37:15,129 --> 01:37:18,365 At least, she thinks she does, and I think that's adorable. 1776 01:37:18,365 --> 01:37:21,368 She loves pizza and hiking and sleeping in on Sunday. 1777 01:37:21,368 --> 01:37:23,504 Her interests are just different enough from mine 1778 01:37:23,504 --> 01:37:26,140 that we'll always be able to show each other new things. 1779 01:37:26,140 --> 01:37:30,044 And I get butterflies when I know I'm about to see her. 1780 01:37:30,044 --> 01:37:33,047 And no, she's not perfect. 1781 01:37:33,047 --> 01:37:36,917 But she's perfect for me. 1782 01:37:36,917 --> 01:37:40,354 And I don't care what I have to do or how long it takes. 1783 01:37:40,354 --> 01:37:42,556 I'm going to prove it to her. 1784 01:37:42,556 --> 01:37:45,025 You just did. 1785 01:37:45,025 --> 01:37:48,262 Congratulations, Cal, you were the last challenger. 1786 01:37:48,262 --> 01:37:51,498 You had to be, and you won. 1787 01:37:54,335 --> 01:37:56,170 Lauren, hi. 1788 01:37:57,605 --> 01:37:59,206 You love me? 1789 01:37:59,206 --> 01:38:01,609 With everything I got. 1790 01:38:01,609 --> 01:38:03,978 [sighs] 1791 01:38:03,978 --> 01:38:05,646 I love you, too. 1792 01:38:08,549 --> 01:38:12,086 -OK... OK. -[chuckles] 1793 01:38:12,086 --> 01:38:15,990 So, what do you say we put all this behind us and start again, huh? 1794 01:38:15,990 --> 01:38:18,259 No expiration date. 1795 01:38:18,259 --> 01:38:19,960 [sighs] 1796 01:38:23,163 --> 01:38:25,299 -[bottle pops open] -To love! 1797 01:38:25,299 --> 01:38:28,369 laughter] 1798 01:38:28,369 --> 01:38:31,038 -He is very excitable. -He is. 1799 01:38:31,038 --> 01:38:32,940 [laughter] 1800 01:38:42,349 --> 01:38:47,254 ♪ I can't see the forest, is it green? ♪ 1801 01:38:47,254 --> 01:38:50,090 ♪ Is the ocean blue? ♪ 1802 01:38:50,090 --> 01:38:51,959 ♪ I can't see the sky ♪ 1803 01:38:51,959 --> 01:38:54,561 ♪ Is it orange cream? ♪ 1804 01:38:54,561 --> 01:38:57,698 ♪ All I can see is you ♪ 1805 01:38:57,698 --> 01:39:00,334 ♪ La da da di da da ♪ 1806 01:39:00,334 --> 01:39:02,236 -Hi. -Hi, I just, 1807 01:39:02,236 --> 01:39:04,004 I love the new direction of your blog. 1808 01:39:04,004 --> 01:39:07,207 It's so inspiring, the book is amazing. 1809 01:39:07,207 --> 01:39:10,611 Life is tough, but love is stronger. 1810 01:39:10,611 --> 01:39:12,680 -A-men. -[chuckles] 1811 01:39:14,214 --> 01:39:15,549 Thank you. 1812 01:39:15,549 --> 01:39:18,218 It's so great, and I love your new vision. 1813 01:39:18,218 --> 01:39:20,254 I really love being a White Knight. 1814 01:39:20,254 --> 01:39:23,590 [chuckles] Yeah. It's more of an expanded thought, really, but... 1815 01:39:25,025 --> 01:39:26,727 Never mind. 1816 01:39:26,727 --> 01:39:30,030 -I'm glad you like it, thanks. -Thank you. 1817 01:39:30,030 --> 01:39:32,733 Hey. Do we have a few more of those back there? 1818 01:39:32,733 --> 01:39:34,468 Because they are going fast. Great. 1819 01:39:38,005 --> 01:39:39,206 Hello there! 1820 01:39:39,206 --> 01:39:41,008 Don't tell me you two read the blog, 1821 01:39:41,008 --> 01:39:44,578 because that makes no sense. Oh... [laughs] Mom does. 1822 01:39:44,578 --> 01:39:46,113 Hi, Mom! 1823 01:39:46,113 --> 01:39:48,082 ♪ La da da di da da ♪ 1824 01:39:48,082 --> 01:39:49,984 ♪ La da da di da ♪ 1825 01:39:49,984 --> 01:39:52,519 OK, you ready? 1826 01:39:54,455 --> 01:39:56,023 Let's do this! 1827 01:40:01,028 --> 01:40:02,029 [chuckles] 1828 01:40:03,130 --> 01:40:06,066 ["Joyride" plays] 1829 01:40:16,610 --> 01:40:20,714 ♪ You never thought you'd ever move to ♪ 1830 01:40:20,714 --> 01:40:23,584 ♪ Another place in time ♪ 1831 01:40:23,584 --> 01:40:27,554 ♪ If your world's a million colors ♪ 1832 01:40:27,554 --> 01:40:30,290 ♪ Not so black and white ♪ 1833 01:40:30,290 --> 01:40:34,028 ♪ You want a road that takes you higher ♪ 1834 01:40:34,028 --> 01:40:36,764 ♪ Your soul has never been so bright ♪ 1835 01:40:36,764 --> 01:40:41,468 ♪ Green eyes, suitcase, city lights ♪ 1836 01:40:41,468 --> 01:40:43,737 ♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪ 1837 01:40:43,737 --> 01:40:45,539 ♪ Joyride ♪ 1838 01:40:45,539 --> 01:40:48,509 ♪ Take you to the place you've never been ♪ 1839 01:40:48,509 --> 01:40:50,611 ♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪ 1840 01:40:50,611 --> 01:40:52,279 ♪ One ride ♪ 1841 01:40:52,279 --> 01:40:55,349 ♪ Tell you that'll be just fine ♪ 1842 01:40:55,349 --> 01:40:57,251 ♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪ 1843 01:40:57,251 --> 01:40:59,053 ♪ Joyride ♪ 1844 01:40:59,053 --> 01:41:02,256 ♪ Take you to the place you've never seen ♪ 1845 01:41:02,256 --> 01:41:04,324 ♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪ 1846 01:41:04,324 --> 01:41:05,726 ♪ One ride ♪ 1847 01:41:05,726 --> 01:41:09,496 ♪ Tell you that'll be just fine ♪ 1848 01:41:09,496 --> 01:41:12,599 ♪ You step out into the ocean ♪ 1849 01:41:12,599 --> 01:41:16,203 ♪ And feel the summer breeze ♪ 1850 01:41:16,203 --> 01:41:19,373 ♪ You hold your part right open ♪ 1851 01:41:19,373 --> 01:41:23,277 ♪ And raise your company ♪ 1852 01:41:23,277 --> 01:41:26,547 ♪ A little lust A little trust ♪ 1853 01:41:26,547 --> 01:41:30,250 ♪ You know that everything is gonna be all right ♪ 1854 01:41:30,250 --> 01:41:32,853 ♪ A little lust A little trust ♪ 1855 01:41:32,853 --> 01:41:34,421 ♪ Just enough ♪ 1856 01:41:34,421 --> 01:41:35,756 ♪ Just enough to make you mine ♪ 1857 01:41:35,756 --> 01:41:39,293 ♪ Joyride ♪ 1858 01:41:39,293 --> 01:41:41,528 ♪ Take you to the place you've never been ♪ 1859 01:41:41,528 --> 01:41:44,364 ♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪ 1860 01:41:44,364 --> 01:41:45,732 ♪ One ride ♪ 1861 01:41:45,732 --> 01:41:48,435 ♪ Tell you it'll be just fine ♪ 1862 01:41:48,435 --> 01:41:50,337 ♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪ 1863 01:41:50,337 --> 01:41:52,139 ♪ Joyride ♪ 1864 01:41:52,139 --> 01:41:55,175 ♪ Take you to the place you've never seen ♪ 1865 01:41:55,175 --> 01:41:57,478 ♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪ 1866 01:41:57,478 --> 01:41:58,879 ♪ One ride ♪ 1867 01:41:58,879 --> 01:42:02,549 ♪ Tell you that'll be just fine ♪ 1868 01:42:02,549 --> 01:42:05,285 [vocalizing] 1869 01:42:15,662 --> 01:42:17,698 ♪ I see you ♪ 1870 01:42:17,698 --> 01:42:20,834 ♪ Standing in the ocean ♪ 1871 01:42:20,834 --> 01:42:24,371 ♪ Just beneath the harbor ♪ 1872 01:42:24,371 --> 01:42:29,343 ♪ Holding on to your... ♪ 1873 01:42:31,778 --> 01:42:35,182 ♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪ 1874 01:42:35,182 --> 01:42:38,385 ♪ Take you to the place you've never been ♪ 1875 01:42:38,385 --> 01:42:40,687 ♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪ 1876 01:42:40,687 --> 01:42:42,289 ♪ One ride ♪ 1877 01:42:42,289 --> 01:42:45,159 ♪ Tell you it'll be just fine ♪ 1878 01:42:45,159 --> 01:42:46,660 ♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪ 1879 01:42:46,660 --> 01:42:48,462 ♪ Joyride ♪ 1880 01:42:48,462 --> 01:42:51,665 ♪ Take you to the place you've never seen ♪ 1881 01:42:51,665 --> 01:42:53,400 ♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪ 1882 01:42:53,400 --> 01:42:54,868 ♪ One ride ♪ 1883 01:42:54,868 --> 01:42:58,805 ♪ Tell you that'll be just fine ♪ 1884 01:42:58,805 --> 01:43:03,443 ♪ My heart aches for you ♪ 1885 01:43:03,443 --> 01:43:05,946 ♪ And only ♪ 1886 01:43:05,946 --> 01:43:10,250 ♪ My heart aches for you ♪ 1887 01:43:10,250 --> 01:43:13,187 ♪ And only ♪ 137060

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