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["So Alive" by Tiffany Alvord]
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♪ I'm feeling alive ♪
3
00:00:39,072 --> 00:00:40,673
♪ I'm feeling a rush ♪
4
00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:42,342
♪ So energized ♪
5
00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:45,645
♪ Nothing is standing
in my way ♪
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00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:47,313
♪ I'm feeling the beat ♪
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00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:50,350
♪ The beat of my heart ♪
8
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:53,620
♪ I'm feeling a spark ♪
9
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,522
♪ I'm feeling the flame ♪
10
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,323
♪ Lights up the dark ♪
11
00:00:57,323 --> 00:01:00,760
♪ Now I'm shining
like the stars ♪
12
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:06,733
♪ It's something
that I crave ♪
13
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,769
♪ I'm feeling so alive ♪
14
00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:12,839
♪ Like I'm
on a sugar high ♪
15
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:19,312
♪ You can start believing
if you try ♪
16
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:23,249
♪ I'm feeling so alive ♪
17
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:25,685
♪ Like I'm
on a roller coaster ride ♪
18
00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:28,088
♪ Got my hands up ♪
19
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,689
♪ And I ain't stopping ♪
20
00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:32,792
♪ Tonight ♪
21
00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:36,429
♪ I'm feeling the clouds
come down to earth ♪
22
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,231
♪ I'm floating around ♪
23
00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:41,734
♪ Laughing so hard
that it hurts ♪
24
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:45,205
♪ It's just one
of those perfect days ♪
25
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:49,709
♪ I'm taking in it ♪
26
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:51,678
♪ I forget to breathe ♪
27
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,246
♪ It's bursting inside ♪
28
00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:56,416
♪ So much I can't even sleep ♪
29
00:01:56,416 --> 00:02:02,322
♪ I get lost
in my own world ♪
30
00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:05,725
♪ I'm feeling so alive ♪
31
00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:08,795
♪ Like I'm on a sugar high ♪
32
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:15,768
♪ You can't stop me
even if you try ♪
33
00:02:15,768 --> 00:02:18,872
♪ I'm feeling so alive ♪
34
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,641
♪ Like I'm on a roller
coaster ride ♪
35
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:25,578
♪ Got my hands up
and I ain't stopping ♪
36
00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:28,515
♪ Tonight ♪
37
00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:31,684
♪ No one's gonna stop me ♪
38
00:02:31,684 --> 00:02:34,821
♪ No one's gonna let you ♪
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00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:40,193
♪ 'Cause I feel so alive ♪
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00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,531
♪ So oh oh oh alive ♪
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00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:46,399
♪ Oh oh oh oh... ♪
42
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:49,369
I never knew you had this
kind of wild side, honey.
43
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:50,937
Are you sure
you know what you're doing?
44
00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:53,907
Absolutely, you're going
to be great at this.
45
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,475
[sneezes]
46
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:58,711
Oh, here ya go!
47
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,550
Why aren't you strapped
to an instructor?
48
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:06,653
I'm certified,
I jump solo.
49
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:07,754
Yeah?
50
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,257
OK?
51
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:14,761
But I'm, I'm not ready!
[grunting]
52
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,829
All right, honey,
we have to talk.
53
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:18,765
-What?
-I'm breaking up with you!
54
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,967
-You're what?
-It's not you it's me!
55
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:23,670
-What?!
-There's an Uber waiting
for you when you land!
56
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:27,340
[yells]
57
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:31,411
-OK.
-[screams]
58
00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:35,381
♪ Like I'm on
a roller coaster ride ♪
59
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,517
♪ Got my hands up ♪
60
00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:39,619
♪ And I ain't stopping ♪
61
00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:42,388
♪ Tonight ♪
62
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:45,625
♪ No one's gonna stop me ♪
63
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:48,661
♪ No one's gonna let you ♪
64
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:51,431
♪ 'Cause I... ♪
65
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:52,732
I liked that one.
66
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,534
Yeah, he seemed nice.
67
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,269
Do you still
want to make a jump?
68
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,671
There's another
landing field up ahead.
69
00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:01,441
Are you crazy?
I could die.
70
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:31,571
[man] Yeah, I'll be there
at 6PM sharp like always.
71
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:37,043
No. Because there's never
anybody I want you to meet, Mom.
72
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:41,614
Yeah, there still swimming,
last I checked.
73
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:46,719
All right, I'll see you Sunday.
74
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:47,887
I love you too, bye-bye.
75
00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:53,593
-Dinner Sunday at Mom's?
-Yeah.
76
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:57,430
Oh, I'm sorry, man.
You want to come
to dinner on Sunday?
77
00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,299
Aw thanks, man,
I'd love to.
78
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,802
[chuckles]
So, what seismic earth shift
got your ass off the couch
79
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,505
and in to my office today,
buddy?
80
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:07,373
Basketball with the guys.
81
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,842
Oh, yeah.
82
00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:12,512
Man, I can't do it,
I got to work.
83
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:15,948
-Hoops, bro.
-I hear ya, I can't do it.
Look at this.
84
00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:17,684
Oh, oh, who's
the little brunette
85
00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:19,619
with the big guy?
What did he do, kill her?
86
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,554
-An assault.
-He beat her up?
87
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:24,557
-She kicked his ass, actually.
-Ha! Yeah?
88
00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:28,728
Yeah, so she caught him
having sex with the neighbor.
89
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:33,333
There was an altercation,
and he's suing her for damages.
90
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:37,036
So, she hired me
to make it all go away.
She still loves the guy.
91
00:05:37,036 --> 00:05:39,105
She wants him back
after he boned the neighbor?
92
00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:41,474
I don't know what
to tell you, man.
93
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,043
Sexual impulses are strong,
but sometimes,
94
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,646
I guess love is stronger.
95
00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:47,880
Is that the Hayworth file?
96
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,415
It sure is.
97
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:50,950
[gasps] So, you're handling
the arbitration?
98
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,385
Yeah, I gotcha covered.
99
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:53,720
You bet, you can head home
to the kids.
100
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:54,854
-[cell phone ringing]
-Oh!
101
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,423
Whoa, whoa!
102
00:05:57,423 --> 00:06:01,794
Hey, honey. No, the Adderall
is in the green bottle,
103
00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,396
it's organic.
104
00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:06,366
Yeah. No, honey,
it's right next to the...
105
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,102
[gasps] No!
106
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,037
That's liquid gold!
107
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,808
Nope, that's a goner.
108
00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:18,745
Honey, you're going to
have to take some milk
109
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,813
out of the freezer.
I lost the afternoon load.
110
00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:22,415
[whispers] Sorry.
111
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,854
It's still warm.
112
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:35,461
I don't care. Calvin,
I need you in my office.
113
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,483
You can close the door
behind you.
114
00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:04,690
You like it here
don't you, Calvin?
115
00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:08,661
Your work has been outstanding.
Partners have noticed.
116
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:11,197
Yeah. You know, I'm surprised,
117
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:14,500
but you can
actually do good work
in an oversized law firm
118
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,002
with hourly rates
higher than gods.
119
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:19,872
Hmm. How are the women's rights
cases going?
120
00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:22,742
Mm. Just fine, great.
121
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:24,110
Still winning?
122
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,479
I'm undefeated.
But you knew that.
123
00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:28,548
Hm. That's good.
124
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:31,818
It's really good.
125
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,753
Gena, why am I here?
126
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:37,223
I have a situation
that needs handling,
127
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:40,660
and I think you are
just the person for the job.
128
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,895
-Client?
-Blogger.
129
00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:46,666
My sister, actually.
130
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:50,736
Ah-ha. The mysterious sister
you never speak of.
131
00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:53,139
She was only 15
when our dad died.
132
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:57,777
Just a kid, really.
She was heartbroken.
133
00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:01,948
And then... I went off
to law school...
134
00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,584
Well, I'm sure she's fine.
135
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:07,186
She might look fine
from the outside.
136
00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:10,156
She's a successful scientist
here in Portland, actually.
137
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,759
She writes formulas
for Fortune 500 companies.
138
00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:16,629
-What kind of formulas?
-Various things.
139
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:20,533
Did you know that there
is a formula for happiness?
140
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:22,702
Yeah, it's called whiskey.
141
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,804
[chuckles]
142
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:29,075
Anyway, that is
all a façade.
143
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:32,278
The real Lauren is
a different person altogether.
144
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,682
Look at this.
145
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:42,922
The Pig Theory.
146
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:48,227
The point of
infidelity and guilt.
147
00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:49,962
Gena, this is
kind of awesome.
148
00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:51,998
It's not awesome,
it's insane.
149
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:55,001
Can you imagine
the impact she's having
on these people's lives?
150
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:58,070
Not to mention
her own mental wellbeing.
151
00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,805
They're empowering her.
152
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:04,043
She's been offered
a very lucrative book deal.
153
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:07,246
And I'm just concerned
154
00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:09,582
that if she writes that book,
155
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:12,985
the girl I grew up with
will be gone forever.
156
00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:16,222
So, I need you to stop her.
157
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,858
The blog, the book,
all of it.
158
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,327
And how exactly
159
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,795
am I supposed
to do that?
160
00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:25,231
I don't care how you do it.
161
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,900
Use your powers of persuasion.
162
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,802
You're undefeated, right?
163
00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:31,037
Women love you.
164
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,939
Ah...
165
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,741
You want me to mess
with this poor girl's head?
166
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:39,712
No, just...
take her to drinks,
167
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:42,582
you know, show her that there
are good guys out there.
168
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,616
Guys like you.
169
00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:45,751
[sighs]
170
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:50,990
I'm sorry, I...
I can't do that.
171
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:54,994
Mm. I had a feeling
you'd say that.
172
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:58,798
So, I have
an offer for you.
173
00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:01,033
Do this and I will recommend
174
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,802
that you make partner
to the board.
175
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,637
Now that's cold, Gena,
176
00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,372
you know I deserve
to make partner.
177
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:10,109
Yes, you do,
and this will guarantee it.
178
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:15,281
Tucker, Aaronson,
Mauldin & Chesney.
179
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,116
Has a nice ring to it,
doesn't it?
180
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:21,387
[sighs]
181
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:23,322
OK...
182
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:28,361
OK. I'll talk to her...
183
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:36,135
and I'll get her
to shut down the blog.
184
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,104
Mm.
185
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:41,173
I knew you would
see things my way.
186
00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:43,075
[scoffs]
187
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:34,393
No, no, you tell him I will make
that donation to Popular Science
188
00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,429
and I don't want
any recognition for it.
189
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:39,131
People need
their science, man.
190
00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:40,332
Oh!
191
00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:42,268
Whoa, whoa!
192
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:45,838
-Hey, you OK there?
-Yeah.
193
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:47,973
You mind if I take a look?
194
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,077
Can I have my leg back?
195
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:54,080
Yeah, sorry.
196
00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:57,116
Here, let me help you up.
197
00:11:57,116 --> 00:12:00,186
[grunts, sighs]
198
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,455
-Here you go.
-Thanks.
199
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,424
Listen, that could be
a nasty sprain.
200
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,026
Why don't I get
you some ice.
201
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:08,094
Maybe a cup of coffee?
202
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:13,399
You know, I don't know you.
203
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,235
I'm sorry, but why would I
get coffee with you?
204
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,370
I'm Calvin.
205
00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,906
[both chuckle]
206
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,284
Thanks.
207
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:36,021
I'm Lauren, by the way.
208
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:38,023
Nice to meet you.
209
00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:41,060
What's-what's
in the folder there?
210
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:43,529
Uh, it's my work.
I'm a scientist,
211
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,831
but mainly I just work
on product improvement.
212
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:48,434
And it's a report
on a formula I was developing.
213
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,203
Wow, that sounds serious.
214
00:12:51,203 --> 00:12:52,972
Not so much.
215
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,441
It's the formula for,
I don't know, the perfect pizza.
216
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,877
Cheese, crust, and beer.
217
00:12:57,877 --> 00:13:00,112
[laughs]
Basically, right? Yeah.
218
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,515
I mean, there might be
a few more factors at play,
but...
219
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,116
Such as?
220
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,520
All right, well,
so the perfect pizza
221
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,456
boils down to that
first perfect bite, you know?
222
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,491
But with these larger pizzas,
223
00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:14,560
sometimes the crust
can get a little soggy,
224
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,262
especially in the middle,
225
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:19,799
but you can calculate
the perfect ratio
226
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,901
between the thickness
of the pizza's crust
227
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,069
and constant volume
of toppings,
228
00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:27,506
then you can formulate
the perfect bite.
229
00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:30,509
Anyway, our client
230
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:34,313
used the formula to ad
nine grams of dough
to their pizza,
231
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,449
and now some say
it's the perfect pizza.
232
00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:39,218
Wow.
233
00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:41,387
[chuckles] Yeah.
234
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:44,890
Well, you know
what this means, don't you?
235
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:48,160
Actually, I really don't.
236
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,964
It means that you have
to take me to this place
237
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:55,334
and we need to experience
this perfect pizza.
238
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,437
I don't know,
239
00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,272
I should probably just...
240
00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:02,241
Come on, you have to.
241
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,109
It's the perfect pizza,
it can't wait.
242
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,545
OK, OK, you're kind of
putting me on the spot here,
243
00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,280
but all right,
let's try the pizza.
244
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,015
Come on, if you can walk,
you can eat pizza.
245
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,483
I can hobble down the street
a little bit, yeah.
246
00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:14,386
All right, terrific...
perfect pizza.
247
00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:17,289
You can't tell a guy
about a perfect pizza...
248
00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:19,325
-[laughs]
-Come on... Do you need this?
249
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:21,393
-Yeah, thank you.
-Are you sure
you trust me with this?
250
00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:26,565
Wow, I gotta say,
that was a pretty good pizza.
251
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:28,300
-Pretty good.
-Pretty good.
252
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,402
I don't know
if it's the perfect pizza...
253
00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:32,104
-Oh, I see.
-Thank you.
254
00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:33,472
But it's pretty good.
255
00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:35,241
I'll give it to you,
it's pretty good.
256
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:36,475
It's pretty good. OK.
257
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:37,977
Thank you.
I'll take pretty good.
258
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,545
[chuckles]
259
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,281
[inaudible]
260
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,062
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
261
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,302
Watch that ankle.
262
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:05,204
It's OK.
263
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:09,608
Well,
thank you for the ice.
264
00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:13,112
Yeah,
thank you for the pizza.
265
00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:16,015
It was great to meet you.
266
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,150
Great meeting you, Lauren.
267
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,351
Goodnight.
268
00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:22,688
Hey, Lauren...
269
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,325
Can I see you again?
270
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,631
Maybe.
271
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,368
That's not a no.
272
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:38,037
[door opens]
273
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,297
[knocking]
274
00:16:07,599 --> 00:16:09,101
-[gasps]
-Voodoo?
275
00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:12,404
[chuckles]
276
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:14,540
-Thank you.
-You're welcome,
you're welcome.
277
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,976
-That's super sweet.
-It is super sweet.
278
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,477
-It is super sweet.
-Yeah.
279
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,080
-But I do love this place.
-Yeah, one at a time there.
280
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,448
Oh, mmmm.
281
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,802
[chuckles]
282
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,370
Thanks.
283
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,439
Yeah, no, I was
really lucky to get this place.
284
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:24,209
-I moved in two years ago.
-Yeah, it's really nice.
285
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:29,415
So...
286
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:33,252
You know, you don't have
to leave right away.
287
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:38,457
You can... stay the night
if you want.
288
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:42,694
OK, um...
289
00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:45,264
I'd like that.
290
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:46,598
But I can't.
291
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:53,272
Um, but I thought we were...
292
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:55,541
-I thought we had been...
-We are.
293
00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:57,843
We are.
294
00:17:57,843 --> 00:18:00,846
And, um...
295
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:04,850
that's why I don't want to
take this to the next level
296
00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:07,486
until we've been totally
honest with each other.
297
00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:09,822
I thought we had been.
298
00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:22,801
I know about your blog,
299
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,637
the, um, Pig Theory?
300
00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:29,408
Everything.
301
00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:34,480
Blog? [scoffs] What...
302
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,116
Gena told me...
303
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:41,153
She's my boss.
304
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:44,256
-Did Gena put you up to this?
-No, no.
305
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:47,326
Nobody put me up
to anything.
306
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:50,796
I, I saw a picture of you
on her desk
307
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,632
and she told me
about the blog.
308
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:56,902
I... I was intrigued.
309
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:05,277
No. What about all that
about donating to
Popular Science magazine.
310
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:06,812
I mean, you were
outside my office...
311
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,748
Just an excuse to meet you.
312
00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:13,485
I didn't know you were
going to sprain your ankle,
313
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:17,356
but, um, yeah.
314
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,224
I mean, if you
read the blog,
315
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,226
then why you would
want to meet me?
316
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:25,164
You intrigued me.
317
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:28,700
You still do.
318
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,274
Hey, come on,
319
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:39,778
this past week
has been great, right?
320
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:42,714
So, um...
321
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:45,450
maybe you show me more.
322
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,654
More of the real you.
323
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:57,462
OK, you want to see more?
324
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,434
Come up to my office.
325
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:08,640
OK.
326
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:24,790
So, as you can see,
the blog is...
327
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,658
kind of a big deal.
328
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,597
Are these all your followers?
329
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:34,233
I've got just under
two million globally.
330
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,569
I was even thinking about
turning the whole thing
into a book.
331
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:42,841
Wow, it's impressive.
It is.
332
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:46,478
And the blog's good,
too, I've read it.
333
00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:49,348
But you know what
impresses me more?
334
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:52,618
The fact that you haven't
written anything since we met.
335
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:56,355
Had a full week,
not one post.
336
00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:58,924
It gives a guy a little hope.
337
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:05,397
You know. Hope that maybe
the Pig Slayer has met someone?
338
00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:09,968
She's ready
to turn over a new leaf
and shut all this down?
339
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:12,838
Shut it down?
340
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:14,640
[scoffs]
341
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,708
What would I tell
all these people?
342
00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:19,611
I mean, I'm sorry,
but some of them,
343
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,647
I've actually
changed their lives.
344
00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:23,915
For example, this one.
345
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,984
"I asked my heart
to please stop breaking.
346
00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:29,688
I prayed to God for a cure.
Then I found the Pig Slayer."
347
00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:32,791
They kind of depend on me.
I can't just shut it down.
348
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:35,961
Sure, you can.
What is that?
349
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:40,532
That there... B minus C,
what is all that?
350
00:21:40,532 --> 00:21:43,402
That's my infidelity formula.
351
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:44,770
That's what the theory
is based on.
352
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:48,373
[chuckles]
Your infidelity formula.
353
00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:50,442
-Yeah.
-OK, explain.
354
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:54,079
OK, OK...
355
00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:57,949
So all of these variables
are assigned a value of 1-10,
356
00:21:57,949 --> 00:21:59,618
10 being the highest,
357
00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:01,486
and you multiply boredom
358
00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:04,056
by the difference between
the excitement of someone new
359
00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:06,425
and the familiarity
of comfort,
360
00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:09,528
and you subtract from that
the fear of conflict,
361
00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:11,797
added with
the opportunity to cheat,
362
00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:14,066
and that final value,
if that's 20 or higher,
363
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,601
then that person
is gonna cheat.
364
00:22:16,601 --> 00:22:19,404
And as a failsafe,
365
00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:21,973
you break up
after six months of dating.
366
00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:26,345
Statistically speaking
it's not safe to date
for longer than that.
367
00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:29,381
And it works?
368
00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:32,751
Well, two million people
agree with me.
369
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:37,756
[sighs]
370
00:22:38,824 --> 00:22:41,593
It's... getting kind of late.
371
00:22:41,593 --> 00:22:45,397
Um, I should feed Ripley
and go to bed.
372
00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:53,839
How can you be so sure?
373
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:56,942
I mean, essentially
you are breaking up
374
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:59,411
with these people
before they cheat.
375
00:22:59,411 --> 00:23:02,647
[Lauren] Before they have
the opportunity to cheat.
376
00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:05,817
Yeah, but what if they
never would have at all?
377
00:23:05,817 --> 00:23:07,953
[sighs] People cheat.
378
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,621
All they need
is the opportunity
379
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:11,423
and to know
they won't get caught.
380
00:23:11,423 --> 00:23:13,859
-That's your theory?
-Yeah.
381
00:23:13,859 --> 00:23:16,428
Based on a pretty kick-ass
formula, yes, that's my theory.
382
00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:17,629
And you won't be
convinced otherwise?
383
00:23:17,629 --> 00:23:18,964
That's just how it is
384
00:23:18,964 --> 00:23:22,501
-and how it's going to be,
forever?
-Yeah.
385
00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:25,437
And what if I offer a way
to prove your theory wrong?
386
00:23:25,437 --> 00:23:27,139
I don't see how
you'd be able to do that.
387
00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:28,874
Now, hold on,
you're a scientist, right?
388
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:30,175
So, you know that
a theory is nothing more
389
00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:32,043
than a theory
until it's proven.
390
00:23:32,043 --> 00:23:36,615
So have you actually
tested this theory?
391
00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:38,817
-How could you test it?
-OK. Well, you said yourself
392
00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:40,619
that everybody scores
a 20 or higher
393
00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:42,020
after six months
of dating, correct?
394
00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:43,989
-Yeah, correct.
-So, all we would need to do
395
00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:46,491
is find a group of people
who have been in a relationship
396
00:23:46,491 --> 00:23:47,926
for longer than six months,
397
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:50,162
and give them
the opportunity to cheat
398
00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:52,697
without getting
caught, right?
399
00:23:52,697 --> 00:23:54,566
[sighs] I suppose--
400
00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:56,535
Now to keep a close watch
on our subjects,
401
00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:58,637
they would have to be
people close to us.
402
00:23:58,637 --> 00:24:00,205
Like my friends,
or your friends.
403
00:24:00,205 --> 00:24:02,908
Wait, hold on.
I don't understand.
404
00:24:02,908 --> 00:24:04,075
What are you proposing?
405
00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:07,112
I'm suggesting
that you and I
406
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:09,014
have a little competition.
407
00:24:09,014 --> 00:24:10,916
-A competition?
-Mm-hmm.
408
00:24:10,916 --> 00:24:13,552
I pick five of my friends
who've been in a relationship
409
00:24:13,552 --> 00:24:14,953
for longer than six months,
410
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:17,456
and you pick the enchantresses
411
00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:18,790
who will be their downfall.
412
00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:20,892
You tempt them,
you challenge them,
413
00:24:20,892 --> 00:24:21,960
you do your worst.
414
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,695
You pick a situation
415
00:24:23,695 --> 00:24:25,163
in which you think gives them
416
00:24:25,163 --> 00:24:26,798
the best opportunity to cheat,
417
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,468
and we will see if
they take the bait.
418
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:32,504
OK? Best three
out of five wins.
419
00:24:32,504 --> 00:24:36,475
OK, if three out of five
people cheat,
420
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,176
then you have to post
on my blog
421
00:24:38,176 --> 00:24:39,878
and write a forward
to the book
422
00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:42,747
about the competition
and how it all went down,
423
00:24:42,747 --> 00:24:44,883
and admit that,
yes, my theory is correct.
424
00:24:44,883 --> 00:24:46,985
OK,
425
00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:49,554
but if three
out of five resist,
426
00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:51,723
then you've got to post
admitting you were wrong
427
00:24:51,723 --> 00:24:53,992
about the whole thing,
and you gotta shut it all down.
428
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:59,731
And you have to agree
to be with me.
429
00:24:59,731 --> 00:25:02,501
Like normal people,
no expiration date.
430
00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,036
[dog grumbles]
431
00:25:05,036 --> 00:25:06,905
Mm.
432
00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:09,508
If I win,
433
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,243
I get my six months
with you.
434
00:25:11,243 --> 00:25:13,278
Really?
435
00:25:13,278 --> 00:25:15,580
Yeah.
436
00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:19,084
Yeah, if I win,
you still post, admit defeat,
437
00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:23,755
but I get my six months,
and then we end it. Agreed?
438
00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:27,259
Agreed.
439
00:25:32,998 --> 00:25:34,566
Goodnight, Lauren.
440
00:25:46,945 --> 00:25:49,881
[sighs]
441
00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:51,716
You're upset.
442
00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:53,818
-I'm not upset.
-Yes, you are.
443
00:25:53,818 --> 00:25:57,556
Your voice always rises like
three octaves when you're upset.
444
00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:58,890
[deep voice]
I'm not upset.
445
00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:00,825
Now you're transgender.
446
00:26:00,825 --> 00:26:03,995
Oh... First of all, how could
you embarrass me like that?
447
00:26:03,995 --> 00:26:05,864
What... You...
448
00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:11,303
You send some guy my way,
who doesn't even...
449
00:26:11,303 --> 00:26:13,572
and why would he...?
450
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:16,875
First of all,
I know how to find a guy.
451
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:19,978
Finding them has never been
your problem, sweetie.
452
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:25,750
I don't have any problems!
453
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:27,352
You know, I really thought
he liked me.
454
00:26:27,352 --> 00:26:29,087
He does, you idiot, I mean,
455
00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:31,623
why else would he take part
in this... what is it,
456
00:26:31,623 --> 00:26:33,625
like a competition?
457
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:37,095
Yeah. You're right.
Best three out of five wins.
458
00:26:37,095 --> 00:26:39,164
Oh, I'm so gonna
kick his ass.
459
00:26:39,164 --> 00:26:42,667
How exactly is this
going to work?
460
00:26:42,667 --> 00:26:46,371
OK, so, we have a list
of challengers, right?
461
00:26:46,371 --> 00:26:50,308
And all these people have been
in relationships six months
or longer,
462
00:26:50,308 --> 00:26:52,911
and to prove my theory correct,
463
00:26:52,911 --> 00:26:57,649
alls I have to do is...
tempt them.
464
00:26:59,651 --> 00:27:01,686
Oh, my God, there's a list.
465
00:27:01,686 --> 00:27:03,221
What do you know
about these people?
466
00:27:03,221 --> 00:27:05,056
[Lauren]
Everything I need to know.
467
00:27:05,056 --> 00:27:07,692
Simon Walker, OK,
so, he's a preppy bartender.
468
00:27:07,692 --> 00:27:09,661
-[Gena]
The bartender at Toochies?
-[Lauren] Right, exactly.
469
00:27:09,661 --> 00:27:11,229
Apparently, he's one
of Cal's best friends
470
00:27:11,229 --> 00:27:13,999
and he's been engaged
for two years.
471
00:27:13,999 --> 00:27:17,168
Now, Cal says,
"Oh, he wouldn't
possibly cheat."
472
00:27:17,168 --> 00:27:18,870
That's a very long engagement.
473
00:27:18,870 --> 00:27:21,706
-Right?
-Who's that?
474
00:27:21,706 --> 00:27:23,708
[Lauren] Edward Hockett.
475
00:27:23,708 --> 00:27:25,010
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
476
00:27:25,010 --> 00:27:26,378
They're high school
sweethearts.
477
00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:28,880
Now we went to
a yoga class together,
478
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,915
and actually,
479
00:27:30,915 --> 00:27:32,917
oh, you know, I hate to do it
to her really,
480
00:27:32,917 --> 00:27:36,154
but, uh, hey, if Cal's right
and my theory is totally wrong,
481
00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:39,090
then, hey, I haven't done
anything, right?
482
00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:42,193
Right. But you're not going
to actually arrange
483
00:27:42,193 --> 00:27:43,762
for these people
to have sex, are you?
484
00:27:43,762 --> 00:27:46,364
No. OK, so,
485
00:27:46,364 --> 00:27:48,166
Cal and I
argued about this, right?
486
00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:49,801
And he came up
with a good point.
487
00:27:49,801 --> 00:27:51,836
He said, "Well, somebody
could always back out,
488
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:54,105
or change their mind,
how are you gonna know?"
489
00:27:54,105 --> 00:27:57,442
And I said, "Listen,
if the underwear have come out,
490
00:27:57,442 --> 00:28:00,812
it's a done deal,"
so we decided on that.
491
00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:02,313
Underwear is proof.
492
00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:05,150
You're going to steal
these people's underwear?
493
00:28:05,150 --> 00:28:07,686
Me? No, no, no.
I'm not gonna do that.
494
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:09,454
Corina's gonna do it.
495
00:28:09,454 --> 00:28:10,789
Who's Corina?
496
00:28:10,789 --> 00:28:12,323
[chuckles]
497
00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:14,759
She's a devout
follower of the blog.
498
00:28:14,759 --> 00:28:17,095
She's got some very interesting
things to say about men.
499
00:28:17,095 --> 00:28:19,164
We have gotten close
over the last couple of years.
500
00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:22,000
She... dances.
Exotically.
501
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,704
-[GenShe's a stripper.
-[Lauren]
Hey, don't be so judgey.
502
00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:27,906
She's a person.
Like you or me.
503
00:28:27,906 --> 00:28:29,474
Thank you.
504
00:28:29,474 --> 00:28:31,276
Thank you...
505
00:28:31,276 --> 00:28:33,378
Anyway, I said she could
506
00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:35,080
post a victory blog
when we win.
507
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,416
Mm. When you win?
508
00:28:38,416 --> 00:28:39,851
Mm-hmm.
509
00:28:39,851 --> 00:28:41,920
Look, I'm a little bit
of an expert
510
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,122
in human nature, OK?
I can't lose.
511
00:28:44,122 --> 00:28:47,092
OK, but what if you do?
512
00:28:47,092 --> 00:28:49,094
[sighs]
513
00:28:49,094 --> 00:28:52,897
Well, if I do,
I have to admit defeat.
514
00:28:52,897 --> 00:28:55,066
I have to shut
down the blog,
515
00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:57,068
which means I lose
my followers.
516
00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:58,403
Then I have to postpone
the book,
517
00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:00,438
because without a blog
there is no book.
518
00:29:00,438 --> 00:29:03,908
That's a lot of think about.
You must really like him
519
00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:05,510
if you're willing to
risk so much.
520
00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:10,515
I don't know,
I'm going to win.
521
00:29:10,515 --> 00:29:12,150
Also think about
it this way.
522
00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:14,152
If I get the city's
top female advocate attorney
523
00:29:14,152 --> 00:29:17,522
writing on my blog
about the competition
and what it proves?
524
00:29:17,522 --> 00:29:20,425
That book, that book
is worth the mint.
525
00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:23,495
Wait, Sharon Gottlieb
she works in our office.
526
00:29:23,495 --> 00:29:26,064
She is happily married,
just had a baby.
527
00:29:26,064 --> 00:29:28,800
Corina is definitely
not her type.
528
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,303
[Lauren] Yeah, no, I know.
He threw that in there.
But, you know what? It's fine.
529
00:29:32,303 --> 00:29:34,506
The pig theory applies
to men and women alike.
530
00:29:34,506 --> 00:29:37,275
We all can be pigs.
That's the whole point.
531
00:29:37,275 --> 00:29:40,044
I mean, you and Mom
were a huge inspiration.
532
00:29:40,044 --> 00:29:41,846
Gee, thanks.
533
00:29:41,846 --> 00:29:44,048
So, how are you going
to tempt Sharon?
534
00:29:44,048 --> 00:29:47,152
There's a male dancer
that works at the Caritas Club.
535
00:29:47,152 --> 00:29:50,255
-Oh...
-He's down to play. [chuckles]
536
00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:52,924
And, God,
he's really hot.
537
00:29:52,924 --> 00:29:55,059
Poor Sharon
doesn't stand a chance.
538
00:29:55,059 --> 00:29:58,296
OK. And, uh,
these last two challengers?
539
00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:00,498
[Lauren] Oh right,
Garrett Stuckey.
540
00:30:00,498 --> 00:30:04,903
Yeah, that's, um, that's Cal's
fitness instructor.
541
00:30:04,903 --> 00:30:09,507
You know, he's one of these
thick, veiny-neck kind of guys.
[laughs]
542
00:30:09,507 --> 00:30:12,911
He's been living with
the aerobics instructor
for two years.
543
00:30:12,911 --> 00:30:14,245
That seems like an easy one.
544
00:30:14,245 --> 00:30:16,347
Yeah.
That's exactly what I think.
545
00:30:16,347 --> 00:30:18,483
But, I don't know,
Cal swears
546
00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:22,220
he's a man of integrity
and honor.
547
00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:24,956
[laughs]
No, he doesn't actually
talk like that.
548
00:30:24,956 --> 00:30:26,958
I swear, he does.
549
00:30:26,958 --> 00:30:28,493
I don't know, maybe the
competition brought out
550
00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:31,396
a whole new
Prince Charming thing.
551
00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:34,532
That's precious.
552
00:30:34,532 --> 00:30:38,536
Gena, I've been meaning
to ask you.
553
00:30:38,536 --> 00:30:41,439
So, you guys went
to law school together,
554
00:30:41,439 --> 00:30:43,074
you work with him,
555
00:30:43,074 --> 00:30:45,210
you've known him
a long time, he's a guy,
556
00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:47,111
and you're... you.
557
00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:52,116
You guys never slept together
or anything, right?
558
00:30:52,116 --> 00:30:53,585
Of course not!
559
00:30:53,585 --> 00:30:55,186
'Cause that would be gross.
560
00:30:55,186 --> 00:30:58,957
Yes, that would.
561
00:30:58,957 --> 00:31:00,525
Now who is this
last challenger?
562
00:31:00,525 --> 00:31:02,527
[laughs] Yeah.
563
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:04,529
That's his minister.
Married guy.
564
00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:07,131
[Gena] Minister?
That hardly seem fair.
565
00:31:07,131 --> 00:31:09,601
[Lauren] I thought that at
first too, but, I don't know,
566
00:31:09,601 --> 00:31:11,169
he's a
Presbyterian minister,
567
00:31:11,169 --> 00:31:13,171
so he never took
the oath of celibacy,
568
00:31:13,171 --> 00:31:17,308
and I do say that, you know,
the theory applies to everyone,
569
00:31:17,308 --> 00:31:18,610
so, it is fair.
570
00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:21,412
Still, that seems like
kind of a long shot.
571
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:25,283
Does it, though?
572
00:31:25,283 --> 00:31:28,286
[laughing]
573
00:31:28,286 --> 00:31:32,423
OK but, how can you be sure
he's not going to
574
00:31:32,423 --> 00:31:36,027
tell all of his friends
before just so that he can win?
575
00:31:37,662 --> 00:31:42,200
Uh, yeah,
that's a good point.
576
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,168
Well, I guess we'll just
have to hope that he's
577
00:31:44,168 --> 00:31:46,671
a man of integrity
and honor.
578
00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:49,140
[laughs]
579
00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:01,119
[chuckles]
580
00:32:04,322 --> 00:32:06,057
Good evening.
581
00:32:09,994 --> 00:32:11,996
Well, it's just
a temporary shutdown.
582
00:32:14,032 --> 00:32:16,000
Can't be writing
on the blog
583
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,569
in the middle
of the competition.
584
00:32:18,569 --> 00:32:20,271
Don't want to ruin the secret.
585
00:32:20,271 --> 00:32:22,573
-Right, Ripley?
-[dog whimpers]
586
00:32:23,574 --> 00:32:26,210
[sighs] OK...
587
00:32:31,482 --> 00:32:33,117
[sighs]
588
00:32:35,219 --> 00:32:37,388
[chatter and laughter]
589
00:32:51,736 --> 00:32:55,540
And... I raise
you two dollars.
590
00:32:57,108 --> 00:32:58,476
You are so bluffing.
591
00:32:58,476 --> 00:33:00,745
Kwan, you're not
even in the hand.
592
00:33:00,745 --> 00:33:04,449
It's a Tae Kwon Do trick.
I can read your body,
therefore, your mind.
593
00:33:04,449 --> 00:33:07,652
You took Taw Kwon Do
in the third grade.
594
00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:09,520
It never leaves you.
595
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,155
-Oh, my God, Kwan.
-Hey man,
596
00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:13,458
my people
have suffered a lot.
597
00:33:13,458 --> 00:33:16,661
Did you know in some places
you're only allowed
to have one kid?
598
00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:19,664
Yeah, but you're hungry again
an hour later, all right,
let's go.
599
00:33:19,664 --> 00:33:22,467
Boo-yah!
King high straight.
600
00:33:22,467 --> 00:33:24,035
OK...
601
00:33:24,035 --> 00:33:26,671
Now, don't feel too bad.
I got the brains.
602
00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:28,740
But you, you got the...
603
00:33:30,208 --> 00:33:31,509
I got the looks too.
604
00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:35,480
[laughter]
605
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,282
Didn't even see the flush.
606
00:33:38,282 --> 00:33:39,717
-No!
-[all] Oooh!
607
00:33:39,717 --> 00:33:41,019
Thank you. Thank you.
608
00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:42,320
My doctor says
take two of these
609
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,156
-and call him in the morning.
-[laughs]
610
00:33:45,156 --> 00:33:48,192
Cal, tell the guys
about your new girlfriend.
611
00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:51,462
The hikes, the long walks
in the park.
612
00:33:51,462 --> 00:33:55,166
Yeah, guys, she's, uh,
yeah, she's pretty great.
613
00:33:55,166 --> 00:33:58,636
[Garrett] Does she work out,
bro? I mean, 'cause you want to
keep that ass high and tight,
614
00:33:58,636 --> 00:34:01,205
'cause later she's
going to give up
and it's going to sag.
615
00:34:01,205 --> 00:34:03,408
She looks like she works out.
616
00:34:03,408 --> 00:34:05,543
How about we hear about
what she's like?
617
00:34:05,543 --> 00:34:11,649
Well, she's, uh, cool,
and smart and quirky.
618
00:34:11,649 --> 00:34:13,484
A little bit crazy.
619
00:34:13,484 --> 00:34:15,086
Hey, is she a red head?
620
00:34:15,086 --> 00:34:16,587
Come on.
621
00:34:16,587 --> 00:34:20,625
Man, Kimberly has been coming
to bed lately in flannels.
622
00:34:20,625 --> 00:34:22,226
It's a clear message.
623
00:34:22,226 --> 00:34:24,562
-Black women
do not wear flannel.
-[laughing]
624
00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:27,131
I'm still being punished from
the last time we went fishing.
625
00:34:27,131 --> 00:34:28,633
You should rub her feet.
626
00:34:28,633 --> 00:34:30,201
What?
627
00:34:30,201 --> 00:34:31,436
I'm telling you,
628
00:34:31,436 --> 00:34:34,338
Jenny loves it
when I rub her feet.
629
00:34:34,338 --> 00:34:37,742
And then I run her calves,
and then I rub her knees.
630
00:34:37,742 --> 00:34:40,111
-Dude!
-We get it! Thank you.
631
00:34:40,111 --> 00:34:43,281
[laughs]
So what kind of crazy is she?
632
00:34:43,281 --> 00:34:47,351
Yeah, like, Angelina Jolie crazy
or Tilda Swinton crazy?
633
00:34:47,351 --> 00:34:49,587
-[laughs]
-Who the hell is Tilda Swinton?
634
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:53,124
Nah, I'd say she's probably
635
00:34:53,124 --> 00:34:54,659
the Tilda crazy,
636
00:34:54,659 --> 00:34:56,461
but she's got a lot
of sweetness too.
637
00:34:56,461 --> 00:34:59,397
I'm telling you, this uh,
this girl's a good one.
638
00:34:59,397 --> 00:35:02,233
Well, be nice to her.
I like this one.
639
00:35:02,233 --> 00:35:05,736
Oh, thank you, doctor,
I plan on it.
640
00:35:05,736 --> 00:35:09,340
Hey, guys.
Who the hell is Tilda Swinton?
641
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:12,477
Jesus, Garrett. Go to a movie.
Go see a movie!
642
00:35:12,477 --> 00:35:13,678
You too busy?
643
00:35:13,678 --> 00:35:17,248
"I'm poundin' weights! Uhh!"
644
00:35:17,248 --> 00:35:20,451
-Protein, reps.
-[laughter]
645
00:35:20,451 --> 00:35:23,888
Ante up, douche.
646
00:35:31,829 --> 00:35:36,134
[Gena] Just got off the phone
with Mom, she's pulling up now.
647
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,536
You know, I don't see
what the big deal is.
648
00:35:38,536 --> 00:35:40,771
I mean, she's been dating
since Dad died.
649
00:35:40,771 --> 00:35:43,207
Aren't you even
a little but curious?
650
00:35:43,207 --> 00:35:45,276
-No.
-What if he's the one?
651
00:35:45,276 --> 00:35:47,245
Gena,
she already met the one.
652
00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:51,716
Hello, my darlings.
653
00:35:51,716 --> 00:35:53,918
I'm so sorry
to keep you waiting.
654
00:35:53,918 --> 00:35:55,520
Alejandro is
parking the car.
655
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:56,787
Hi, Mom.
656
00:35:56,787 --> 00:35:58,523
Hey, Mom,
how have you been?
657
00:35:58,523 --> 00:36:01,692
I love your new... look.
658
00:36:01,692 --> 00:36:04,595
Mama Mia, Bellissimo!
659
00:36:04,595 --> 00:36:07,865
-It's Valentino.
-Giorgio Armani.
660
00:36:09,233 --> 00:36:13,337
BonjournMy darling.
661
00:36:16,574 --> 00:36:18,809
-Oh!
-Sweet.
662
00:36:18,809 --> 00:36:22,280
Guys, this is
Alejandro Baraza.
663
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:26,517
This is my daughter, Gena,
and my other daughter, Lauren.
664
00:36:26,517 --> 00:36:29,687
Like dulcet dewdrops
dripped from a diamond.
665
00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,190
I love it...
666
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:33,658
-I love it!
-Oh, well!
667
00:36:33,658 --> 00:36:35,660
[fake sneezes]
668
00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:39,530
Oh! Oh.
I'm so sorry!
669
00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:42,400
I just must be a...
670
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,869
drippy, drippy dewdrop.
671
00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:46,938
It's OK, it's OK...
672
00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:48,506
-Let's eat.
-Hmmm.
673
00:36:48,506 --> 00:36:50,374
-[Gena] Right this way.
-Thank you.
674
00:36:50,374 --> 00:36:51,976
So, they tell you in class
675
00:36:51,976 --> 00:36:53,844
you have to
switch partners every week
676
00:36:53,844 --> 00:36:56,214
so you can experience
different types of dancers.
677
00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:59,350
Alejandro refused to switch.
678
00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:01,319
-Of course.
-Alejandro,
679
00:37:01,319 --> 00:37:03,221
if you don't mind me asking,
680
00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:07,592
what was a gentleman
who's you know, your age,
681
00:37:07,592 --> 00:37:11,596
doing at a senior
ballroom dance class?
682
00:37:11,596 --> 00:37:15,633
I understand your curiosity,
and I will tell you right now.
683
00:37:15,633 --> 00:37:18,736
I work like a dog
in my shop.
684
00:37:18,736 --> 00:37:21,239
He's a designer.
He makes men's suites.
685
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,940
-Has his own label.
-[Alejandro] Yeah.
686
00:37:22,940 --> 00:37:26,744
-Wow.
-So, I was thinking
to myself and I say,
687
00:37:26,744 --> 00:37:30,548
"Alejandro,
you're such a great dancer,
688
00:37:30,548 --> 00:37:33,017
and your heart
is only half full.
689
00:37:33,017 --> 00:37:35,586
This is not the right way
to live the life.
690
00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:40,458
You must live the life
with the heart full of love,
always, right?"
691
00:37:40,458 --> 00:37:45,296
So, I walked into the class,
and I was ready
692
00:37:45,296 --> 00:37:47,565
with the shaking of my hulo,
693
00:37:47,565 --> 00:37:50,635
and sharing the love
for the dance,
694
00:37:50,635 --> 00:37:54,839
and there she was,
like a beautiful ball
of sunshine,
695
00:37:54,839 --> 00:37:57,341
burning my poor eyes.
696
00:37:57,341 --> 00:37:59,043
-Amore mio.
-[giggles]
697
00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:04,782
Act your age.
698
00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:07,918
And what does that mean?
"Act my age?"
699
00:38:07,918 --> 00:38:11,589
Am I supposed to be at home
knitting sweaters?
Does Gena act her age?
700
00:38:11,589 --> 00:38:13,791
Or what about you, Lauren?
You're 30 years old.
701
00:38:13,791 --> 00:38:15,559
Aren't you supposed
to be married by now
702
00:38:15,559 --> 00:38:16,994
and giving me grandbabies?
703
00:38:16,994 --> 00:38:18,029
I don't see that happening.
704
00:38:18,029 --> 00:38:20,331
I'm very busy,
all right?
705
00:38:20,331 --> 00:38:22,800
Work is always crazy,
then there's my blog,
706
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,435
and now
this book thing...
707
00:38:24,435 --> 00:38:26,904
Well, we can't all be
Pig Slayers, Lauren.
708
00:38:26,904 --> 00:38:29,674
How long's that been going on,
anyway? And when's
that going to stop?
709
00:38:29,674 --> 00:38:33,678
-I'm sure it's just a phase.
-At some point the phase
becomes a reality.
710
00:38:33,678 --> 00:38:36,447
And the long-ago sanity
becomes a phase.
711
00:38:36,447 --> 00:38:39,383
I mean, really,
none of us Walden women
712
00:38:39,383 --> 00:38:42,787
are exactly traditionalists,
but you've taken this too far.
713
00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:47,525
Mom, I'm sorry, but I just
don't understand
where you're coming from.
714
00:38:47,525 --> 00:38:49,460
I'm just standing up
for what I believe in.
715
00:38:49,460 --> 00:38:53,331
You're not standing
for anything, you're running.
716
00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:55,099
You're not letting anybody in.
717
00:38:55,099 --> 00:38:58,836
Actually, she has met someone.
718
00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:00,338
Really?
719
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,040
Yes! His name is
Calvin Chesney,
720
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:07,878
he is a lawyer at my firm,
and they like each other a lot.
721
00:39:07,878 --> 00:39:10,748
Thank God for that!
722
00:39:10,748 --> 00:39:14,085
-When can I meet him?
-Uh, well, you can't.
723
00:39:14,085 --> 00:39:17,688
-Why not?
-Yeah, why not?
724
00:39:17,688 --> 00:39:20,825
It would be so fun
if you brought Calvin around
to meet the family.
725
00:39:20,825 --> 00:39:22,860
I mean, you and Mom
could go on a double date.
726
00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:25,696
Yes, yes.
727
00:39:25,696 --> 00:39:28,666
You should always
believe in your life
728
00:39:28,666 --> 00:39:30,568
with the heart full of love.
729
00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:33,571
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
730
00:39:33,571 --> 00:39:35,072
You mentioned that.
731
00:39:35,072 --> 00:39:37,975
I... In that vein,
732
00:39:37,975 --> 00:39:42,780
I'm actually gonna head out
and go see Calvin right now.
733
00:39:43,948 --> 00:39:45,683
Nice meeting you,
734
00:39:45,683 --> 00:39:50,688
and Mom,
it's always good to...
see you.
735
00:40:00,664 --> 00:40:03,501
[laughs]
736
00:40:03,501 --> 00:40:06,070
-[Calvin] What is this?
-Is it me?
737
00:40:06,070 --> 00:40:09,006
Not at all!
738
00:40:09,006 --> 00:40:12,777
It's Gena's.
She loaned it to me for the day.
739
00:40:12,777 --> 00:40:14,645
Thought you might like a ride.
740
00:40:14,645 --> 00:40:16,480
Did she now?
741
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,482
Well, come on, get in,
let's drive this puppy!
742
00:40:18,482 --> 00:40:21,552
-OK, but I'm driving back.
-Oh...
743
00:40:28,526 --> 00:40:31,562
-Ready?
-Ready. Let's go.
744
00:41:07,097 --> 00:41:11,569
And I... got your Queen.
745
00:41:11,569 --> 00:41:15,039
-What? Oh, no!
-Yeah.
746
00:41:15,039 --> 00:41:17,074
Damn.
747
00:41:22,046 --> 00:41:23,647
Checkmate!
748
00:41:23,647 --> 00:41:26,617
Yeah, you set me up there,
didn't you?
749
00:41:26,617 --> 00:41:28,886
-Just a little.
-A little.
750
00:41:28,886 --> 00:41:31,589
All right. You win.
751
00:41:36,994 --> 00:41:40,831
[door opens, shuts]
752
00:41:44,268 --> 00:41:46,136
Whoa! Sorry to interrupt.
753
00:41:46,136 --> 00:41:48,906
That's just gross.
754
00:41:48,906 --> 00:41:50,741
Then again,
kind of not sorry.
755
00:41:50,741 --> 00:41:52,009
[hums tune]
756
00:41:52,009 --> 00:41:53,711
Why don't they find a room?
757
00:41:53,711 --> 00:41:56,881
-It's his house.
-[laughs]
758
00:41:56,881 --> 00:42:00,217
What a clown.
[laughs]
759
00:42:00,217 --> 00:42:03,587
Yeah, ass clown.
760
00:42:03,587 --> 00:42:07,057
-He's weird.
-Ah, he's harmless.
761
00:42:07,057 --> 00:42:09,193
Why does he
live here, though?
762
00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:12,763
I mean, you could afford
this place on your own.
763
00:42:12,763 --> 00:42:14,999
-You think?
-[laughs]
764
00:42:14,999 --> 00:42:16,967
Nah, I know I could.
765
00:42:16,967 --> 00:42:19,603
Just... That's Jake,
766
00:42:19,603 --> 00:42:22,006
you know,
he's always been there for me.
767
00:42:22,006 --> 00:42:26,176
We've been friends
since grade school
and then basketball,
768
00:42:26,176 --> 00:42:28,879
I was point guard
and he was right wing,
769
00:42:28,879 --> 00:42:31,882
all the way through law school
he was always there for me.
770
00:42:31,882 --> 00:42:36,220
Quiz me before exams,
take me out for beers
afterwards.
771
00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:39,924
-Even if I always paid.
-I'm sure you did.
772
00:42:39,924 --> 00:42:43,861
Yeah, just...
he's my best friend.
773
00:42:43,861 --> 00:42:46,964
Seems natural
to have him around.
774
00:42:46,964 --> 00:42:50,935
At least until
I find somebody else
775
00:42:50,935 --> 00:42:54,638
to share this place with.
776
00:42:58,309 --> 00:43:00,978
How about you, huh?
777
00:43:00,978 --> 00:43:03,614
-Lone wolf.
-[chuckles]
778
00:43:03,614 --> 00:43:05,316
You like living alone?
779
00:43:05,316 --> 00:43:06,850
I'm not alone.
780
00:43:06,850 --> 00:43:09,753
I have Ripley...
and two million followers.
781
00:43:09,753 --> 00:43:14,024
[chuckles] That's right.
I forgot about that.
782
00:43:14,024 --> 00:43:17,127
-[chuckles]
-Gosh, where do they all sleep?
783
00:43:17,127 --> 00:43:18,829
Ahh,
I keep them in the garage.
784
00:43:18,829 --> 00:43:22,099
-Yeah...
-[laughing]
785
00:43:22,099 --> 00:43:24,702
Oh, man.
786
00:43:27,338 --> 00:43:29,907
I really like this.
787
00:43:31,041 --> 00:43:32,343
Me and you.
788
00:43:36,046 --> 00:43:37,114
Me too.
789
00:43:38,916 --> 00:43:40,884
Yeah?
790
00:43:40,884 --> 00:43:42,252
Yeah.
791
00:44:05,876 --> 00:44:07,778
I should get to work.
792
00:44:07,778 --> 00:44:09,913
I know...
793
00:44:09,913 --> 00:44:12,182
people need their science.
794
00:44:12,182 --> 00:44:15,319
[chuckles] Yes, they do.
795
00:44:33,237 --> 00:44:36,106
Hey, so when
do we get started?
796
00:44:36,106 --> 00:44:39,176
-With our competition?
-Yeah.
797
00:44:41,245 --> 00:44:42,880
Now.
798
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:44,748
Right now?
799
00:44:46,116 --> 00:44:47,851
Yep.
800
00:44:48,986 --> 00:44:51,455
As of now it can happen
at any time
801
00:44:51,455 --> 00:44:55,325
to anyone on your list.
802
00:44:55,325 --> 00:44:57,895
You know, I still don't
think it's fair.
803
00:44:57,895 --> 00:44:59,897
I mean, you know,
who all my friends are
804
00:44:59,897 --> 00:45:02,366
and I have no idea
who you're challenging with.
805
00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:03,801
Oh, you'll know.
806
00:45:07,438 --> 00:45:09,139
See you soon.
807
00:45:09,139 --> 00:45:12,076
How will I know?
808
00:45:13,477 --> 00:45:17,214
-[chuckles]
-[door opens]
809
00:45:19,149 --> 00:45:21,452
[cell phone ringing]
810
00:45:31,061 --> 00:45:32,896
Nice car.
811
00:45:32,896 --> 00:45:34,465
[GenYou liked that, did you?
812
00:45:34,465 --> 00:45:36,800
That's one of the perks
of becoming partner.
813
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,802
Yeah, about that.
814
00:45:38,802 --> 00:45:40,170
I've been thinking,
815
00:45:40,170 --> 00:45:41,972
I can't accept
the partnership position
816
00:45:41,972 --> 00:45:44,174
if it has anything
to do with Lauren.
817
00:45:44,174 --> 00:45:45,809
Really.
818
00:45:45,809 --> 00:45:48,445
Yeah, I want to be partner,
819
00:45:48,445 --> 00:45:50,447
and I sure did like
driving that car,
820
00:45:50,447 --> 00:45:54,384
but I don't want you
suggesting me to the board
821
00:45:54,384 --> 00:45:56,820
for any another other reason
than I'm a great lawyer.
822
00:45:56,820 --> 00:45:59,323
Let's just see
how things play out.
823
00:45:59,323 --> 00:46:03,193
From what I can see,
everything is going
according to plan.
824
00:46:03,193 --> 00:46:06,230
OK, Gena, but so we're clear,
825
00:46:06,230 --> 00:46:09,767
I'm not doing this anymore
to make partner.
826
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:12,970
I'm doing this
because I like Lauren.
827
00:46:12,970 --> 00:46:15,038
Bye, Calvin.
828
00:46:28,285 --> 00:46:30,020
[grunts]
829
00:46:30,020 --> 00:46:31,989
How long have you
and Treasure been together?
830
00:46:31,989 --> 00:46:34,491
I don't know, man,
about two years, I guess?
831
00:46:34,491 --> 00:46:37,394
-You gonna get married?
-[chuckles] I don't know, man.
832
00:46:37,394 --> 00:46:39,229
You know,
work's been really good
and people been throwing
833
00:46:39,229 --> 00:46:41,165
an ass ton of money at me
just to get into shape,
834
00:46:41,165 --> 00:46:44,234
so we could afford it
if we needed to.
835
00:46:44,234 --> 00:46:47,805
No, I mean, you love her, right?
You want to marry her.
836
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:49,173
I, I don't know, man.
837
00:46:49,173 --> 00:46:50,841
I mean, I guess
I'm gonna have to
838
00:46:50,841 --> 00:46:53,877
if I want to keep her.
That's how it works, right?
839
00:46:53,877 --> 00:46:55,279
Why are you
busting my balls, man?
840
00:46:55,279 --> 00:46:57,147
Did Treasure
put you up to this?
841
00:46:57,147 --> 00:46:59,983
No, no, no, I was
just curious, that's all.
842
00:46:59,983 --> 00:47:01,318
You guys seem happy.
843
00:47:01,318 --> 00:47:03,887
Don't be a douche.
844
00:47:03,887 --> 00:47:05,889
[grunts]
845
00:47:13,931 --> 00:47:16,567
And so it begins.
846
00:47:16,567 --> 00:47:19,136
-Hi.
-Hello.
847
00:47:19,136 --> 00:47:23,006
-Are you Garrett?
-I am. What can I do for you?
848
00:47:23,006 --> 00:47:25,075
Well,
I'm looking for a trainer
849
00:47:25,075 --> 00:47:28,212
and the lady at the front desk,
she referred me to you.
850
00:47:28,212 --> 00:47:30,480
OK, so what kind of hours
are you looking for?
851
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,516
Oh, nothing here.
852
00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:35,519
I actually just bought
this really expensive
home equipment
853
00:47:35,519 --> 00:47:38,021
and I have no idea
how to use it.
854
00:47:38,021 --> 00:47:41,558
-Sounds dumb, huh?
-[chuckles]
Actually, no, not at all.
855
00:47:41,558 --> 00:47:44,127
You know, most people
don't get the full benefit
of their workout
856
00:47:44,127 --> 00:47:46,163
because they
don't know how to use
the equipment correctly.
857
00:47:46,163 --> 00:47:48,365
Sometimes they hurt themselves
or they hurt other people.
858
00:47:48,365 --> 00:47:50,467
-Really?
-That's a fact.
859
00:47:50,467 --> 00:47:53,003
You know, why don't
I give you a free lesson?
860
00:47:53,003 --> 00:47:54,571
Come over here
and show me how you bench.
861
00:47:56,907 --> 00:47:59,009
Yeah...
862
00:48:05,349 --> 00:48:07,551
All right, why don't you
go ahead, and tight back,
863
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:09,453
stick your chest up,
all right, good.
864
00:48:09,453 --> 00:48:10,988
Grab the bar...
865
00:48:10,988 --> 00:48:14,191
Now go ahead and lift up.
866
00:48:14,191 --> 00:48:17,160
There you go,
down and back up.
867
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,163
Oh that's great.
Chest out, there ya go.
868
00:48:20,163 --> 00:48:22,566
Tight back,
bring it up, good.
869
00:48:22,566 --> 00:48:25,135
All right.
Chest out a little more.
870
00:48:25,135 --> 00:48:28,105
Oh, that's great. Up. Perfect.
871
00:48:28,105 --> 00:48:30,040
I can work with that.
872
00:48:31,041 --> 00:48:32,910
That is great.
873
00:48:37,514 --> 00:48:40,050
She wants you to go
to her place to show her
874
00:48:40,050 --> 00:48:43,387
how to use gym equipment,
and you're buying that?
875
00:48:43,387 --> 00:48:45,589
[chuckles] Seriously, Cal,
876
00:48:45,589 --> 00:48:48,058
come on, man,
you know I'm a professional.
877
00:48:48,058 --> 00:48:50,160
This is what I do
for a living, all right?
878
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,996
I help clients at their houses
all the time. It's what I do.
879
00:48:52,996 --> 00:48:55,632
You need to get your damn mind
out of the gutter.
880
00:48:55,632 --> 00:48:57,634
Douche.
881
00:49:00,037 --> 00:49:01,204
Wow.
882
00:49:02,472 --> 00:49:04,574
[knock on door]
883
00:49:08,345 --> 00:49:09,346
[yawns]
884
00:49:16,453 --> 00:49:18,322
Oh hey, man.
885
00:49:18,322 --> 00:49:19,623
Sign here.
886
00:49:19,623 --> 00:49:21,058
Thanks.
887
00:49:26,163 --> 00:49:28,298
Have a good day.
888
00:49:47,417 --> 00:49:49,219
Garrett.
889
00:49:58,228 --> 00:50:00,197
[Gena] They're going to be
sending a gaggle of attorneys.
890
00:50:00,197 --> 00:50:02,065
It's an important case,
they don't want to screw it up,
891
00:50:02,065 --> 00:50:03,700
so expect a big presence.
892
00:50:03,700 --> 00:50:06,370
Do you really think "gaggle"
is the best collective term
893
00:50:06,370 --> 00:50:08,171
to use for a group
of attorneys?
894
00:50:08,171 --> 00:50:10,707
I'd think it'd be something
more sinister like "murder."
895
00:50:10,707 --> 00:50:12,676
No, no, the crows
have that one.
896
00:50:12,676 --> 00:50:15,045
-Do they? Crows.
-Mm-hmm.
897
00:50:15,045 --> 00:50:16,780
What about "onslaught"?
898
00:50:16,780 --> 00:50:18,682
-Onslaught! Ah, yes.
-[chuckling]
899
00:50:18,682 --> 00:50:20,751
Kids... focus! OK.
900
00:50:20,751 --> 00:50:23,687
Uh, you are going to be
staying at the Seattle Weston,
901
00:50:23,687 --> 00:50:26,323
get in Thursday night,
depo is in the morning.
902
00:50:26,323 --> 00:50:27,391
OK, but when
do we get back?
903
00:50:27,391 --> 00:50:28,525
Paul's got plenty
of milk,
904
00:50:28,525 --> 00:50:29,760
but Maddy's got
a soccer game
905
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,661
this weekend and she
is gonna lose her mind
906
00:50:31,661 --> 00:50:34,231
-if I'm not there.
-It's not a problem.
907
00:50:34,231 --> 00:50:35,799
You'll be back Friday night.
908
00:50:35,799 --> 00:50:39,236
I want you to be prepared
but don't over-work yourselves.
909
00:50:39,236 --> 00:50:42,739
Take some personal time
Thursday night, grab a drink.
910
00:50:42,739 --> 00:50:47,511
I doubt we'll have time
for that kind of thing,
but dinner might be nice.
911
00:50:49,513 --> 00:50:52,249
Dinner, drinks,
912
00:50:52,249 --> 00:50:55,452
on Thursday... OK.
913
00:51:04,561 --> 00:51:09,699
So, that's 32.50 each
plus 6.25 for your beer
914
00:51:09,699 --> 00:51:11,635
and we can split the tip?
915
00:51:11,635 --> 00:51:13,403
What do you say, six each?
916
00:51:13,403 --> 00:51:15,605
Sounds good. Thank you.
917
00:51:15,605 --> 00:51:18,475
Very precise,
this whole thing.
918
00:51:18,475 --> 00:51:20,243
You know, I never thought
I'd say this,
919
00:51:20,243 --> 00:51:23,413
but I actually look forward
to these business trips.
920
00:51:23,413 --> 00:51:26,483
The crappy bar food,
the cheap wine,
921
00:51:26,483 --> 00:51:30,287
and this... silence.
922
00:51:30,287 --> 00:51:33,256
Ah, come on, you've got
the perfect life,
923
00:51:33,256 --> 00:51:35,225
you've got two great kids,
happy marriage.
924
00:51:35,225 --> 00:51:36,293
I wish I had that.
925
00:51:36,293 --> 00:51:37,661
No, you don't.
926
00:51:37,661 --> 00:51:38,728
What are you talking about?
927
00:51:38,728 --> 00:51:39,830
It always looks like
you and Paul
928
00:51:39,830 --> 00:51:40,831
are having
such a great time.
929
00:51:40,831 --> 00:51:43,633
That's Facebook, Calvin.
930
00:51:43,633 --> 00:51:45,435
It isn't real.
931
00:51:45,435 --> 00:51:47,137
My children are monsters.
932
00:51:49,439 --> 00:51:51,341
We used to have fun though,
933
00:51:51,341 --> 00:51:52,876
back when we had sex.
934
00:51:52,876 --> 00:51:57,247
God, we used
to have great sex!
935
00:51:57,247 --> 00:51:58,615
[groans uncomfortably]
936
00:51:58,615 --> 00:52:00,550
But you can't have sex
with a baby on your tit.
937
00:52:00,550 --> 00:52:03,587
No, I imagine you can't.
938
00:52:03,587 --> 00:52:05,422
Physically,
it's practically impossible.
939
00:52:05,422 --> 00:52:07,157
It gets in the way.
940
00:52:07,157 --> 00:52:08,825
Unless you hold it off
to the side
941
00:52:08,825 --> 00:52:10,193
which you can practically do
942
00:52:10,193 --> 00:52:12,696
because your boobs
get really long!
943
00:52:12,696 --> 00:52:14,331
And there's the term.
944
00:52:14,331 --> 00:52:15,699
And your vagina
is never the same.
945
00:52:15,699 --> 00:52:18,135
When they say you can
push a bowling ball
946
00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:21,204
through there
they're not kidding,
because it gets ginormous!
947
00:52:21,204 --> 00:52:23,707
And there's stuff
flying out of there,
948
00:52:23,707 --> 00:52:25,709
stuff you've
never seen before.
949
00:52:25,709 --> 00:52:28,278
Some people keep it,
some people eat it!
950
00:52:28,278 --> 00:52:31,882
OK! You want to order
some coffee here?
951
00:52:31,882 --> 00:52:33,383
Kegels, Please!
952
00:52:33,383 --> 00:52:35,719
I can hardly
hold my own pee in!
953
00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:37,888
My vagina is dead.
954
00:52:37,888 --> 00:52:39,556
I have a dead vagina.
955
00:52:39,556 --> 00:52:42,325
That's a lot of talk
about your vagina here.
956
00:52:42,325 --> 00:52:44,294
Ease up, Calvin.
957
00:52:44,294 --> 00:52:46,796
Your mother's vagina went
through the exact same thing.
958
00:52:46,796 --> 00:52:48,932
Not something I care
to discuss either.
959
00:52:48,932 --> 00:52:51,835
God! These are
going to burst.
960
00:52:51,835 --> 00:52:54,271
[yelps]
961
00:52:54,271 --> 00:52:57,474
Sorry! Yeah,
that one got away from me.
962
00:52:57,474 --> 00:52:59,509
I better pull the plug.
963
00:52:59,509 --> 00:53:01,945
-Yeah.
-[groans]
964
00:53:01,945 --> 00:53:05,315
♪ Words can't say
what you're doing to me ♪
965
00:53:05,315 --> 00:53:08,919
♪ Give me just a minute,
try to understand ♪
966
00:53:08,919 --> 00:53:12,589
♪ I can't control
the shake in my hands ♪
967
00:53:12,589 --> 00:53:16,193
Calvin, you'll never guess
who I bumped into...
968
00:53:16,193 --> 00:53:17,694
This is Brandon.
969
00:53:17,694 --> 00:53:20,730
-Coxx. Dr. Coxx.
-[chuckles]
970
00:53:20,730 --> 00:53:23,600
Dr. Coxx noticed
my breast pump
971
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:26,570
and we got to talking,
and it turns out
he's a specialist.
972
00:53:26,570 --> 00:53:30,574
He helps women recover
who have had multiple births.
973
00:53:30,574 --> 00:53:32,509
Ooh! Have a seat!
974
00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:40,317
So, Dr. Coxx,
975
00:53:40,317 --> 00:53:42,719
what are you, like,
a plastic surgeon?
976
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:44,821
Nothing quite so drastic.
977
00:53:44,821 --> 00:53:47,224
I work with the body
and the mind.
978
00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:49,626
I help women to rediscover
their inner selves
979
00:53:49,626 --> 00:53:51,928
so they can get in tune
with their bodies
980
00:53:51,928 --> 00:53:54,464
and re-awaken
their sexual being.
981
00:53:54,464 --> 00:53:57,467
How does it work?
Can you do me?
Can you fix me?
982
00:53:57,467 --> 00:54:00,003
It's a series of meditations
to relax the mind
983
00:54:00,003 --> 00:54:02,806
and intimate massage
techniques to relax the body.
984
00:54:02,806 --> 00:54:06,276
It gets the blood flowing again
in all the right places.
985
00:54:06,276 --> 00:54:09,012
Brings everything
back to life.
986
00:54:09,012 --> 00:54:10,647
[chuckles]
987
00:54:10,647 --> 00:54:14,017
So, doctor,
you seem pretty young.
988
00:54:14,017 --> 00:54:15,318
How old are you?
989
00:54:15,318 --> 00:54:16,886
It's true, I'm young.
990
00:54:16,886 --> 00:54:19,689
I graduated college
when I was 16,
991
00:54:19,689 --> 00:54:21,791
and completed
my medical training overseas.
992
00:54:21,791 --> 00:54:23,560
Europe is where it's at.
993
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:26,663
Sex is celebrated
there at every age.
994
00:54:26,663 --> 00:54:28,565
We Americans have
it all wrong.
995
00:54:28,565 --> 00:54:29,733
I'm trying
to change that.
996
00:54:29,733 --> 00:54:31,801
A savior of sorts.
997
00:54:31,801 --> 00:54:33,536
Yeah. [chuckles]
998
00:54:35,338 --> 00:54:36,973
I'm sorry I'm staring.
999
00:54:36,973 --> 00:54:40,010
It's just that you have
the most beautiful eyes.
1000
00:54:40,010 --> 00:54:41,711
I do?
1001
00:54:41,711 --> 00:54:43,780
It's just...
1002
00:54:48,351 --> 00:54:50,387
Do you mind?
1003
00:54:55,592 --> 00:54:58,561
Yes. There she is.
1004
00:54:58,561 --> 00:55:02,465
You definitely have
the vibrant sexual being
in there.
1005
00:55:02,465 --> 00:55:03,533
I could help you find it.
1006
00:55:04,934 --> 00:55:08,471
OK... This is great stuff,
1007
00:55:08,471 --> 00:55:10,807
but, uh, Sharon,
it's getting late.
1008
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:12,575
We've got
that early meeting.
1009
00:55:12,575 --> 00:55:14,744
We should probably
get your card and head up.
1010
00:55:14,744 --> 00:55:17,013
-We've got an early day
tomorrow.
-Calvin!
1011
00:55:17,013 --> 00:55:19,582
We're work colleagues, no!
1012
00:55:19,582 --> 00:55:21,384
Why don't we order
some more drinks
1013
00:55:21,384 --> 00:55:24,087
and talk about this some more?
I think it's fascinating!
1014
00:55:24,087 --> 00:55:27,357
-[chuckles]
-Yeah!
1015
00:55:27,357 --> 00:55:29,726
Fascinating!
1016
00:55:29,726 --> 00:55:32,962
The mistake that people
make with their lovers
is forcefulness.
1017
00:55:32,962 --> 00:55:35,632
You have to approach
these areas tenderly.
1018
00:55:35,632 --> 00:55:38,902
You have to gently coax
1019
00:55:38,902 --> 00:55:40,904
and gently coax some more
1020
00:55:40,904 --> 00:55:43,473
so that the body
reaches for it,
1021
00:55:43,473 --> 00:55:45,375
desires the touch.
1022
00:55:46,476 --> 00:55:49,446
God, that makes
so much sense!
1023
00:55:51,748 --> 00:55:54,351
Uhh, wow.
1024
00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:58,021
Sharon, look at the time,
we should probably go!
1025
00:55:58,021 --> 00:55:59,589
Yeah, we should.
1026
00:55:59,589 --> 00:56:01,558
Can I walk you?
1027
00:56:01,558 --> 00:56:03,893
No, no. There's no need,
I'll walk her.
1028
00:56:03,893 --> 00:56:05,595
Sharon,
is this your key card?
1029
00:56:05,595 --> 00:56:08,498
Actually,
a walk would be nice.
1030
00:56:08,498 --> 00:56:09,666
Thank you, Dr. Coxx.
1031
00:56:09,666 --> 00:56:11,534
But we have that meeting...
1032
00:56:11,534 --> 00:56:12,769
in the morning.
1033
00:56:12,769 --> 00:56:15,538
Surely there's no time
for a walk.
1034
00:56:15,538 --> 00:56:18,641
Calvin, I'm a grown woman.
1035
00:56:18,641 --> 00:56:22,145
I know when I need a walk.
1036
00:56:23,580 --> 00:56:25,648
-Shall we?
-Of course.
1037
00:56:25,648 --> 00:56:27,450
Grab my jacket.
1038
00:56:29,919 --> 00:56:31,588
[scoffs]
1039
00:56:31,588 --> 00:56:35,992
[chuckles] Goodnight!
1040
00:56:35,992 --> 00:56:38,061
[elevator dings]
1041
00:56:38,061 --> 00:56:40,163
[phone rings]
1042
00:56:40,163 --> 00:56:43,767
Tucker Aaronson and Walden,
may I help you?
1043
00:56:53,676 --> 00:56:56,613
Uh, let me transfer you.
1044
00:56:56,613 --> 00:56:58,848
Wow, those are
some ugly panties.
1045
00:57:00,049 --> 00:57:04,154
Yeah, they, uh...
for a case.
1046
00:57:04,154 --> 00:57:09,125
[chuckles] We are working on
the case of the terrible
granny panties, so...
1047
00:57:09,125 --> 00:57:12,028
Must be a big case! [snorts]
1048
00:57:12,028 --> 00:57:17,100
[chuckles] It is. It is...
1049
00:57:18,701 --> 00:57:20,970
-Hold all my calls.
-OK.
1050
00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:28,711
Sharon Gottlieb?
1051
00:57:28,711 --> 00:57:31,815
You might as well have
told me that size
really doesn't matter
1052
00:57:31,815 --> 00:57:35,618
and that the female orgasm
is made of rainbows.
1053
00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:40,723
Well, I'm sorry
that she surprised you,
but she didn't surprise me.
1054
00:57:40,723 --> 00:57:42,125
It's probably been
a long time
1055
00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:44,060
since a man has looked at her
like that, you know?
1056
00:57:44,060 --> 00:57:46,529
We gave her a golden opportunity
and she took it.
1057
00:57:46,529 --> 00:57:51,201
She's clearly a sad woman
with a blown-out vagina
that needed tending.
1058
00:57:51,201 --> 00:57:55,705
I really wish I didn't know
that about her. [chuckles]
1059
00:57:55,705 --> 00:58:00,477
But it's not everyone.
It's not even the majority.
1060
00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,745
But it is.
1061
00:58:02,745 --> 00:58:04,113
That's what
I've been trying to tell you.
1062
00:58:04,113 --> 00:58:05,715
You're wrong about people.
1063
00:58:05,715 --> 00:58:06,850
It's not that simple.
1064
00:58:06,850 --> 00:58:10,487
Yeah, well,
I wish it weren't.
1065
00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:12,522
You know, the tragic thing?
1066
00:58:12,522 --> 00:58:15,525
That a 220-pound man
wears smiley-faced boxers?
1067
00:58:15,525 --> 00:58:16,926
[chuckles]
1068
00:58:16,926 --> 00:58:20,497
OK. OK, what's tragic?
1069
00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:24,801
Well, the tragic thing
is that if you win,
1070
00:58:24,801 --> 00:58:28,605
your blog lives on
and you get to write your book,
1071
00:58:28,605 --> 00:58:34,177
but you and I get six months,
and then... it's over.
1072
00:58:36,946 --> 00:58:39,282
I mean, six months is...
1073
00:58:40,850 --> 00:58:42,218
God, that's nothing.
1074
00:58:48,057 --> 00:58:50,660
Hey kids, how we doing?
1075
00:58:50,660 --> 00:58:53,196
Simon, my man!
1076
00:58:53,196 --> 00:58:56,132
We are doing fantastic.
1077
00:58:56,132 --> 00:58:59,903
As a matter of fact,
we've got some great news.
1078
00:58:59,903 --> 00:59:02,672
That loan for the penis
extension finally came through?
1079
00:59:02,672 --> 00:59:05,675
[laughs] This guy.
1080
00:59:05,675 --> 00:59:07,644
No man, um,
1081
00:59:07,644 --> 00:59:12,181
Lauren and I
are getting married.
1082
00:59:12,181 --> 00:59:15,318
Wow, I mean...
1083
00:59:15,318 --> 00:59:17,020
Wow, that was quick!
1084
00:59:17,020 --> 00:59:19,088
Yeah. I'm not pregnant.
1085
00:59:19,088 --> 00:59:22,625
Well then,
drinks are on the house.
1086
00:59:22,625 --> 00:59:23,993
Hey, thank you, brother.
1087
00:59:23,993 --> 00:59:26,629
And listen, I'd love to have
the bachelor party
1088
00:59:26,629 --> 00:59:29,933
right here at Tucci's.
Is the back room available
for Saturday night?
1089
00:59:29,933 --> 00:59:31,868
-It's all yours.
-Awesome! Awesome!
1090
00:59:31,868 --> 00:59:34,270
And we'll head back
to my place after
for some shenanigans?
1091
00:59:34,270 --> 00:59:38,207
-Yeah, love it.
-[laughs]
1092
00:59:38,207 --> 00:59:40,944
-Huh?
-Bachelor party, huh?
1093
00:59:40,944 --> 00:59:42,812
-Shenanigans?
-Hey, come on,
1094
00:59:42,812 --> 00:59:44,914
what better opportunity
for someone to cheat
1095
00:59:44,914 --> 00:59:46,115
than a bachelor party?
1096
00:59:46,115 --> 00:59:47,684
It's practically
in the handbook.
1097
00:59:47,684 --> 00:59:50,086
-I knew there was a handbook.
-Uh-huh.
1098
00:59:50,086 --> 00:59:52,989
Listen, two of our competitors
are going to be there
1099
00:59:52,989 --> 00:59:54,123
and you only need one
to cheat
1100
00:59:54,123 --> 00:59:55,692
for this competition
to be over,
1101
00:59:55,692 --> 00:59:58,861
so we're going to
finish this this weekend.
1102
00:59:58,861 --> 01:00:00,163
Finish it?
1103
01:00:01,664 --> 01:00:03,733
Well, that's what
you want, right?
1104
01:00:03,733 --> 01:00:06,302
Your name in lights.
Glory, the big win?
1105
01:00:08,071 --> 01:00:10,807
Yeah, all right.
1106
01:00:10,807 --> 01:00:14,010
Saturday bachelor party,
we'll finish it.
1107
01:00:14,010 --> 01:00:17,013
Oh, and, uh, listen,
1108
01:00:17,013 --> 01:00:20,917
I would love
some strippers for Saturday.
1109
01:00:20,917 --> 01:00:23,620
Do you think Corina
knows any of those?
1110
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:26,255
Gee, probably.
1111
01:00:26,255 --> 01:00:29,659
I thought so.
Resourceful lady, that one.
1112
01:00:29,659 --> 01:00:32,829
-You have no idea.
-[chuckles]
1113
01:00:34,731 --> 01:00:36,766
So, are you just doing this
for the gifts?
1114
01:00:36,766 --> 01:00:38,301
'Cause we could use
a new Keurig.
1115
01:00:38,301 --> 01:00:41,337
-Nah, no gifts.
-Then why?
1116
01:00:41,337 --> 01:00:44,173
Women are happy to stay
engaged for like, ever!
1117
01:00:44,173 --> 01:00:46,009
It's a get out
of jail free card, man.
1118
01:00:46,009 --> 01:00:48,711
[chuckles]
Does Danielle know this?
1119
01:00:48,711 --> 01:00:52,115
She doesn't not know it.
1120
01:00:52,115 --> 01:00:55,051
Ahh, Jacob, you are an island.
1121
01:00:55,051 --> 01:00:56,853
So check this out.
1122
01:00:56,853 --> 01:00:59,756
It's the prototype
for my new app,
Mars Calling Venus.
1123
01:00:59,756 --> 01:01:01,758
A guy can ask Venus
anything he wants to know,
1124
01:01:01,758 --> 01:01:02,959
and she'll tell him the truth
1125
01:01:02,959 --> 01:01:04,661
about what women
are really thinking.
1126
01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:08,898
So, say for example...
sexual partners.
1127
01:01:08,898 --> 01:01:11,234
-[keys clacking]
-[computer chiming]
1128
01:01:11,234 --> 01:01:14,804
The average woman
has had eight lovers,
but when polled,
1129
01:01:14,804 --> 01:01:18,775
76% said they'd lie
and answer four or less.
1130
01:01:18,775 --> 01:01:22,412
Naughty, naughty, Venus.
Naughty, naughty, Venus.
1131
01:01:22,412 --> 01:01:24,347
-[chiming]
-Is that it?
1132
01:01:26,182 --> 01:01:27,984
Well, she gets naked.
1133
01:01:27,984 --> 01:01:30,153
And I loaded her with car
and sports trivia.
1134
01:01:30,153 --> 01:01:32,722
Ed got me a meeting
with some suits on Monday.
1135
01:01:32,722 --> 01:01:34,290
Ooh, I'm going to be rich!
1136
01:01:34,290 --> 01:01:37,760
Did you make her
look like Lauren?
1137
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:39,996
-What?
-Yeah, you...
1138
01:01:39,996 --> 01:01:42,031
Is that a mole
under her left eye?
1139
01:01:42,031 --> 01:01:45,702
Dude, you have
lost your mind.
1140
01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:49,872
This woman has straight up
crawled up inside your brain
and made you go wonky!
1141
01:01:49,872 --> 01:01:52,809
So, party tonight
at Tucci's?
1142
01:01:55,144 --> 01:01:56,746
I'll wear a suit.
1143
01:01:56,746 --> 01:01:58,981
You don't own a suit.
1144
01:01:58,981 --> 01:02:01,718
You own a suit.
1145
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,354
I own a suit. [sighs]
1146
01:02:09,025 --> 01:02:12,061
-[chatter]
-I've had a lot of free time.
1147
01:02:12,061 --> 01:02:13,396
[laughs]
1148
01:02:16,132 --> 01:02:19,168
There's the three rings
of marriage, brother.
1149
01:02:19,168 --> 01:02:22,805
There's the engagement ring,
the wedding ring,
1150
01:02:22,805 --> 01:02:24,841
and then there's
the suffer-ring!
1151
01:02:24,841 --> 01:02:28,377
-[guys groan]
-Boo!
1152
01:02:28,377 --> 01:02:30,780
Boo that man.
1153
01:02:32,281 --> 01:02:34,917
Oh, man, I can't believe
you're getting married.
1154
01:02:34,917 --> 01:02:38,054
You know how long Jenny
has been harassing me
to pull the trigger?
1155
01:02:38,054 --> 01:02:39,956
She wants four kids.
1156
01:02:39,956 --> 01:02:41,791
Dang,
that's a lot of kids.
1157
01:02:41,791 --> 01:02:43,226
That is a lot of kids.
1158
01:02:43,226 --> 01:02:46,295
In Korea we have large families
of many generations
1159
01:02:46,295 --> 01:02:48,498
and we all live together
under one roof.
1160
01:02:48,498 --> 01:02:50,500
You grew up in Napa Valley.
1161
01:02:50,500 --> 01:02:51,901
But my people, we...
We started--
1162
01:02:51,901 --> 01:02:54,537
Your parents own a winery...
in Napa!
1163
01:02:54,537 --> 01:02:55,838
[laughter]
1164
01:02:59,809 --> 01:03:01,844
So, what flipped the switch?
1165
01:03:01,844 --> 01:03:04,881
What can I say, fellas?
I love her.
1166
01:03:04,881 --> 01:03:06,883
-I hope so.
-Drink to that.
1167
01:03:10,186 --> 01:03:13,389
Mm. What about you, Ed,
do you love Kimberly?
1168
01:03:13,389 --> 01:03:16,993
Um, let me see.
I married the girl
when we were 18 years old,
1169
01:03:16,993 --> 01:03:18,895
so yeah, I think I love her.
1170
01:03:18,895 --> 01:03:22,098
No, that's time, man.
I'm talking about love.
1171
01:03:22,098 --> 01:03:25,001
Real love, the kind you
walk through fire for,
1172
01:03:25,001 --> 01:03:26,335
you know what I'm saying?
1173
01:03:26,335 --> 01:03:29,405
Well, yeah.
She's my girl.
1174
01:03:31,107 --> 01:03:33,042
Yeah, she is, right?
1175
01:03:33,042 --> 01:03:35,077
And she's a good one.
1176
01:03:35,077 --> 01:03:37,547
Things have been
going great since I started
rubbing her feet.
1177
01:03:37,547 --> 01:03:41,250
Sometimes she'll even put on
her old cheerleading outfit
1178
01:03:41,250 --> 01:03:43,586
-and wear it for me.
-There you go.
1179
01:03:43,586 --> 01:03:46,823
-Jenny thinks outfits are silly.
-Yeah, well, they're not.
1180
01:03:46,823 --> 01:03:49,592
My girl looks pretty amazing
in that outfit.
1181
01:03:49,592 --> 01:03:52,094
Well, that sounds
like love to me, man.
1182
01:03:52,094 --> 01:03:56,132
-Cheerleader love.
-[laughter]
1183
01:03:56,132 --> 01:03:58,100
Does she still love you?
1184
01:03:58,100 --> 01:03:59,368
Damn right, she loves me.
1185
01:03:59,368 --> 01:04:01,304
What kind of question
is that to ask a man?
1186
01:04:01,304 --> 01:04:03,940
-It's just a question.
-Yeah, come on,
why so defensive?
1187
01:04:05,174 --> 01:04:07,410
You boys better
get your heads in check.
1188
01:04:07,410 --> 01:04:11,113
That woman loves me!
She calls me her Eddie Pie.
1189
01:04:11,113 --> 01:04:13,015
-[laughter]
-What?
1190
01:04:13,015 --> 01:04:15,218
Whoa, hold on,
say that again?
1191
01:04:15,218 --> 01:04:18,955
It's not like an edible pie?
Like a Tasty Pastry?
1192
01:04:18,955 --> 01:04:24,126
OK, Eddie Pie.
I mean, it sounds like
you're it for her.
1193
01:04:24,126 --> 01:04:26,896
Like, you are her
White Knight.
1194
01:04:26,896 --> 01:04:29,332
Hmm.
1195
01:04:29,332 --> 01:04:32,101
Black Knight.
I'm her Black Knight.
1196
01:04:32,101 --> 01:04:35,571
-Yes, you are. Black Knight.
-Yeah.
1197
01:04:35,571 --> 01:04:37,106
No, No!
1198
01:04:37,106 --> 01:04:40,543
♪ Happy Birthday,
Mr. President ♪
1199
01:04:40,543 --> 01:04:45,147
-♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
-[all groan]
1200
01:04:45,147 --> 01:04:46,649
We're jamming.
1201
01:04:46,649 --> 01:04:48,651
There you go.
1202
01:04:54,390 --> 01:04:56,959
Hey, all I'm saying
is you're a lucky man.
1203
01:04:56,959 --> 01:05:00,363
That sense of truly finding
the one? It's pretty rare.
1204
01:05:00,363 --> 01:05:02,598
Yeah.
1205
01:05:02,598 --> 01:05:05,635
You call it. Do that.
1206
01:05:05,635 --> 01:05:08,170
Maybe four isn't so many.
1207
01:05:08,170 --> 01:05:09,639
Now that's
a butt load of kids.
1208
01:05:09,639 --> 01:05:12,074
-Shh. [laughs]
-That's a butt load of kids.
1209
01:05:12,074 --> 01:05:15,144
-That's a butt load of kids.
-[laughter]
1210
01:05:19,515 --> 01:05:21,918
I love you too, baby.
1211
01:05:24,220 --> 01:05:27,423
Maybe when I get home
you can...
1212
01:05:27,423 --> 01:05:32,194
wear that little...
outfit for me?
1213
01:05:32,194 --> 01:05:33,462
All right.
1214
01:05:35,598 --> 01:05:39,201
All right.
Bye-bye, baby.
1215
01:05:41,170 --> 01:05:43,072
It's noisy in there, huh?
1216
01:05:44,373 --> 01:05:46,943
You with all those crazy guys?
1217
01:05:48,144 --> 01:05:50,112
Uh, yeah.
1218
01:05:52,048 --> 01:05:54,984
It's hot in there, too.
1219
01:05:54,984 --> 01:05:57,153
I'm Corina.
1220
01:05:59,488 --> 01:06:00,957
Do you have a light?
1221
01:06:03,559 --> 01:06:06,529
-I don't smoke.
-[laughs]
1222
01:06:08,230 --> 01:06:11,067
Well,
you look smoking to me.
1223
01:06:11,067 --> 01:06:13,402
[laughs]
1224
01:06:13,402 --> 01:06:17,540
OK, OK... what you doing?
1225
01:06:17,540 --> 01:06:19,008
What do you mean,
"What am I doing?"
1226
01:06:19,008 --> 01:06:20,176
I'm talking to you.
1227
01:06:20,176 --> 01:06:22,244
You're doing more
than just that.
1228
01:06:24,613 --> 01:06:27,717
Maybe I am.
Do you have a name?
1229
01:06:28,718 --> 01:06:30,286
I got a name.
1230
01:06:30,286 --> 01:06:33,055
I just don't know
I want you to have it.
1231
01:06:33,055 --> 01:06:34,757
Is that so?
1232
01:06:41,230 --> 01:06:43,499
My name is Eddie Pie.
1233
01:06:43,499 --> 01:06:45,701
I am a Black Knight.
1234
01:06:47,236 --> 01:06:49,238
Goodnight, fair lady.
1235
01:06:52,742 --> 01:06:54,543
[sighs]
1236
01:06:54,543 --> 01:06:56,145
Good for him.
1237
01:06:56,145 --> 01:06:59,115
[dance music]
1238
01:07:11,193 --> 01:07:12,361
♪ Scratch my back ♪
1239
01:07:24,507 --> 01:07:26,375
♪ Scratch my back ♪
1240
01:07:35,618 --> 01:07:37,053
♪ Scratch my back ♪
1241
01:07:48,297 --> 01:07:51,400
♪ Very long time ♪
1242
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:52,768
[grunts]
1243
01:07:52,768 --> 01:07:54,470
That's better. [clears throat]
1244
01:07:54,470 --> 01:07:58,207
Now...
tell me where you want it?
1245
01:07:58,207 --> 01:07:59,809
-I know where I want it.
-Wait your turn.
1246
01:07:59,809 --> 01:08:01,710
It's never my turn.
1247
01:08:01,710 --> 01:08:04,647
-You want to take a shot?
-No, I'm trying to quit.
1248
01:08:04,647 --> 01:08:08,751
Aww. Well, you don't mind
if I take one, do you?
1249
01:08:08,751 --> 01:08:09,785
-Yeah.
-Up.
1250
01:08:09,785 --> 01:08:12,388
Wait. Whoa...
1251
01:08:12,388 --> 01:08:15,724
[clamoring]
1252
01:08:19,795 --> 01:08:21,630
[Calvin] OK...
1253
01:08:21,630 --> 01:08:25,568
OK, now...
where do we want it?
1254
01:08:25,568 --> 01:08:26,735
I don't.
1255
01:08:26,735 --> 01:08:28,370
Oh, you naughty boy.
1256
01:08:28,370 --> 01:08:30,272
In the crotch, huh?
1257
01:08:30,272 --> 01:08:33,542
That just so happens to be
my favorite place to take it.
1258
01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:37,546
-How'd you know?
-[guys clamor]
1259
01:08:37,546 --> 01:08:39,648
All right, now,
you have to be
very careful,
1260
01:08:39,648 --> 01:08:41,717
'cause if you move,
it'll spill.
1261
01:08:41,717 --> 01:08:44,487
And let me make
one thing clear,
1262
01:08:44,487 --> 01:08:49,825
I am taking that shot,
every last drop.
1263
01:08:49,825 --> 01:08:51,527
[chuckles]
1264
01:08:51,527 --> 01:08:52,628
Are we ready, boys?
1265
01:08:52,628 --> 01:08:53,729
-[all] Yeah.
-No, no.
1266
01:08:53,729 --> 01:08:55,865
-Here we go!
-Ohh! Ohh!
1267
01:08:55,865 --> 01:08:59,135
Oh! You naughty boy.
1268
01:08:59,135 --> 01:09:04,707
Guess I'm just going
to have to clean you
all up with my tongue.
1269
01:09:04,707 --> 01:09:07,309
-Ooh.
-Oh!
1270
01:09:07,309 --> 01:09:08,878
[sighs]
1271
01:09:11,881 --> 01:09:13,716
Here's some ice...
1272
01:09:19,555 --> 01:09:23,526
I'm really sorry,
it was just a reflex.
1273
01:09:23,526 --> 01:09:25,494
Would you just make
yourself useful
1274
01:09:25,494 --> 01:09:26,729
and hand me my purse?
1275
01:09:26,729 --> 01:09:29,932
I'm leaving. [sighs]
1276
01:09:29,932 --> 01:09:31,367
Thanks.
1277
01:09:35,638 --> 01:09:37,239
[door opens]
1278
01:09:37,239 --> 01:09:38,908
I didn't want a shot.
1279
01:09:52,488 --> 01:09:55,524
Ooh, boy, you really
screwed that one up, buddy.
1280
01:09:55,524 --> 01:09:57,359
I can understand
you not wanting
1281
01:09:57,359 --> 01:09:59,895
to show everyone Mr. Floppy,
but did you really have to
1282
01:09:59,895 --> 01:10:01,697
knee that poor girl
in the face?
1283
01:10:01,697 --> 01:10:03,966
It was a reflex, man.
1284
01:10:03,966 --> 01:10:06,735
Hey, uh, where's Simon?
1285
01:10:08,771 --> 01:10:10,606
And... Mandy?
1286
01:10:10,606 --> 01:10:13,509
Where are they?
1287
01:10:13,509 --> 01:10:15,811
They went for a walk.
1288
01:10:15,811 --> 01:10:18,514
Wait, you let them leave?
1289
01:10:27,856 --> 01:10:30,526
[cell phone ringing]
1290
01:10:34,463 --> 01:10:35,831
-Hello?
-Hello, Lauren?
1291
01:10:35,831 --> 01:10:37,366
It's Heather Decker.
1292
01:10:37,366 --> 01:10:39,268
I have the update
on your book offer.
1293
01:10:39,268 --> 01:10:41,971
They like the blog
and your story around that,
1294
01:10:41,971 --> 01:10:43,772
but they caught wind
of the competition.
1295
01:10:43,772 --> 01:10:45,741
They think
that's a better angle.
1296
01:10:45,741 --> 01:10:48,244
Caught wind of it? How?
1297
01:10:48,244 --> 01:10:50,746
Your sister made a call
to the publisher.
1298
01:10:50,746 --> 01:10:53,315
Apparently, she's not
a fan of your blog.
1299
01:10:53,315 --> 01:10:56,552
She's pushing this new angle,
and they like it a lot.
1300
01:10:56,552 --> 01:10:57,720
[scoffs]
1301
01:10:57,720 --> 01:10:59,888
Gena is not a fan of the blog.
1302
01:10:59,888 --> 01:11:01,957
Why doesn't she just
stay out of my life?
1303
01:11:01,957 --> 01:11:04,927
Did you hear me, Lauren?
They are very interested.
1304
01:11:04,927 --> 01:11:07,896
They are offering
two million dollars for it.
1305
01:11:10,366 --> 01:11:12,835
-Two million?
-Yes.
1306
01:11:12,835 --> 01:11:16,705
But you have to win.
Otherwise, no deal.
1307
01:11:16,705 --> 01:11:19,275
Are you still there?
1308
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:20,976
They want to talk to you
on Monday.
1309
01:11:20,976 --> 01:11:23,045
They want to get started
right away.
1310
01:11:23,045 --> 01:11:25,447
Yeah, I'm still here.
1311
01:11:25,447 --> 01:11:28,450
Listen, that's...
that's an incredible offer,
1312
01:11:28,450 --> 01:11:30,052
that's amazing.
1313
01:11:30,052 --> 01:11:32,354
It's just it takes
the whole thing
1314
01:11:32,354 --> 01:11:33,989
into a completely
different direction
1315
01:11:33,989 --> 01:11:35,958
and I'm not sure
that's the book
1316
01:11:35,958 --> 01:11:37,493
that I want to write.
1317
01:11:39,561 --> 01:11:42,865
Let me think about it
for a couple of days. OK?
1318
01:11:42,865 --> 01:11:43,999
Thanks, Heather.
1319
01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:03,752
-Hey.
-How could you do it, man?
1320
01:12:03,752 --> 01:12:06,655
-Do what?
-You know what.
1321
01:12:06,655 --> 01:12:08,424
I don't know
what you're talking about.
1322
01:12:08,424 --> 01:12:12,328
Did you sleep with her?
Did you have sex with Mandy?
1323
01:12:12,328 --> 01:12:14,930
Look, man,
I don't know what you're
talking about, all right?
1324
01:12:14,930 --> 01:12:16,832
I thought you were
better than that.
1325
01:12:16,832 --> 01:12:18,801
[grunting]
1326
01:12:18,801 --> 01:12:22,738
Ah! Get out of there, Cal,
stop it! Get off of me!
1327
01:12:22,738 --> 01:12:23,872
You're still wearing
your underwear.
1328
01:12:23,872 --> 01:12:26,342
Yes, of course!
1329
01:12:26,342 --> 01:12:27,643
What the hell, Cal!
1330
01:12:27,643 --> 01:12:30,446
Well, did... did you sleep
with her or not?
1331
01:12:30,446 --> 01:12:33,115
Yeah, I slept with her.
1332
01:12:33,115 --> 01:12:34,983
Look,
1333
01:12:34,983 --> 01:12:39,355
we went down to the river
and we talked.
1334
01:12:39,355 --> 01:12:41,023
After a little while
she made a move,
1335
01:12:41,023 --> 01:12:44,360
but... I didn't want to.
1336
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:48,430
I mean, I wanted to,
but... I couldn't do it.
1337
01:12:48,430 --> 01:12:51,967
I've never cheated on Jenny,
so we just slept.
1338
01:12:51,967 --> 01:12:54,570
-[laughs]
-What are you laughing about?
1339
01:12:54,570 --> 01:12:57,539
You, man!
You're the man!!
1340
01:12:57,539 --> 01:13:01,477
-[shouting]
-Oh, God, OK, all right!
1341
01:13:01,477 --> 01:13:04,780
I knew it, I knew you were
one of the good guys, man!
1342
01:13:04,780 --> 01:13:08,650
I knew it! OK, that's two.
1343
01:13:08,650 --> 01:13:10,619
-Come on, baby, yeah.
-All right, all right.
1344
01:13:15,391 --> 01:13:18,093
All right, I believe you.
You know...
1345
01:13:18,093 --> 01:13:20,963
Of course, we'll never really
know what happened out there.
1346
01:13:20,963 --> 01:13:23,532
But if Mandy didn't
get his underwear,
1347
01:13:23,532 --> 01:13:26,802
then I guess we'll say
nothing happened.
1348
01:13:26,802 --> 01:13:30,472
Although, she's quite taken
with Simon.
1349
01:13:30,472 --> 01:13:32,841
She even wants me to let
her know when he's single.
1350
01:13:32,841 --> 01:13:36,779
[chuckles] I don't think
she's his type.
1351
01:13:36,779 --> 01:13:40,015
Yeah? She said
he's the first man
1352
01:13:40,015 --> 01:13:43,786
to ever turn
her down. Ever.
1353
01:13:46,655 --> 01:13:50,659
Hey, you know where
I want to take you
when all this is over?
1354
01:13:50,659 --> 01:13:52,661
It's not over yet.
1355
01:13:52,661 --> 01:13:54,463
I'll take you to Paris.
1356
01:13:54,463 --> 01:13:58,734
We can get some striped shirts
and live the life of the mimes.
1357
01:13:58,734 --> 01:14:01,203
Really horny mimes.
1358
01:14:01,203 --> 01:14:03,071
[chuckles]
1359
01:14:05,541 --> 01:14:08,010
I know it's going to be tough
for you to shut down that blog,
1360
01:14:08,010 --> 01:14:11,980
but, um, you know,
maybe you don't have to.
1361
01:14:11,980 --> 01:14:16,218
Maybe you could just... turn it
into something more positive.
1362
01:14:20,756 --> 01:14:24,226
Well, there's one more
challenger left.
1363
01:14:24,226 --> 01:14:26,695
It could go down
either way.
1364
01:14:26,695 --> 01:14:30,132
Ah, yes.
The good minister Dooley.
1365
01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:33,035
Well, I'm sorry, babe, but
he's a ringer for the home team.
1366
01:14:33,035 --> 01:14:35,504
My man is legit.
1367
01:14:35,504 --> 01:14:38,240
There is no way anyone
is going to convince him
1368
01:14:38,240 --> 01:14:40,976
to cheat on his wife.
[chuckles] Oh...
1369
01:14:40,976 --> 01:14:43,111
People can surprise you.
1370
01:14:43,111 --> 01:14:46,482
Mm. Yes, they can.
1371
01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:49,918
If there's one thing
this competition has
taught me it's that.
1372
01:14:52,187 --> 01:14:53,789
Well, [clears throat]
we've decided
1373
01:14:53,789 --> 01:14:55,224
to have the last challenge
at Corina's house.
1374
01:14:55,224 --> 01:14:56,658
I'll text you the address.
1375
01:14:56,658 --> 01:14:58,527
Just tell the minister
1376
01:14:58,527 --> 01:15:01,029
that he should
come by around 7
1377
01:15:01,029 --> 01:15:05,534
and that you have a friend
who needs some guidance.
1378
01:15:05,534 --> 01:15:07,069
We're running
a conversion con.
1379
01:15:07,069 --> 01:15:10,772
-A conversion con?
-[laughing]
1380
01:15:10,772 --> 01:15:12,241
Listen to you.
1381
01:15:12,241 --> 01:15:13,942
It's a good thing
this is almost over.
1382
01:15:13,942 --> 01:15:16,211
You're turning
into a regular gangster.
1383
01:15:16,211 --> 01:15:19,515
Well, I have a meeting
with the publishers on Monday,
1384
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:25,087
they want to, you know, discuss
the book proposal, details...
1385
01:15:25,087 --> 01:15:26,922
Well, either way,
you're going to have
1386
01:15:26,922 --> 01:15:29,291
an interesting story to tell.
1387
01:15:31,593 --> 01:15:33,996
Hey, you want to have dinner
with me tomorrow night
1388
01:15:33,996 --> 01:15:36,198
while all this is going down?
1389
01:15:36,198 --> 01:15:37,933
You know, we can celebrate...
1390
01:15:37,933 --> 01:15:40,636
either way,
like a couple of good sports.
1391
01:15:40,636 --> 01:15:43,238
Wait for the results
together?
1392
01:15:45,173 --> 01:15:46,675
Yeah.
1393
01:15:48,043 --> 01:15:49,278
I'd like that.
1394
01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:51,847
Okay.
1395
01:15:51,847 --> 01:15:53,849
[insects chirping]
1396
01:15:58,186 --> 01:16:00,222
I talked to Minister Dooley
this afternoon
1397
01:16:00,222 --> 01:16:02,558
and he was all in for
bringing in another lost sheep,
1398
01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:06,762
so... the last competition
has begun.
1399
01:16:06,762 --> 01:16:08,263
-[sighs]
-May the best man win.
1400
01:16:08,263 --> 01:16:10,933
May the best person win.
1401
01:16:14,069 --> 01:16:15,137
[cell phone buzzing]
1402
01:16:15,137 --> 01:16:16,705
Oh, excuse me.
1403
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,809
Hello, this is Calvin.
1404
01:16:20,809 --> 01:16:22,578
Uh-huh?
1405
01:16:22,578 --> 01:16:24,680
Oh, you're kidding?
1406
01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:27,649
Yeah, is he all right?
1407
01:16:27,649 --> 01:16:30,619
OK, sure. Sure, yeah,
thanks for letting me know.
1408
01:16:30,619 --> 01:16:32,721
Uh-huh. Bye-bye.
1409
01:16:34,356 --> 01:16:36,758
-Wow.
-What happened?
1410
01:16:36,758 --> 01:16:40,295
Umm, Minister Dooley
is in the hospital.
1411
01:16:40,295 --> 01:16:42,230
-What?
-Yeah, apparently,
1412
01:16:42,230 --> 01:16:44,333
he broke his leg
playing hoops today.
1413
01:16:44,333 --> 01:16:48,804
Oh, God, well...
poor Minister Dooley,
1414
01:16:48,804 --> 01:16:51,807
but I'm supposed to be
meeting with the publisher
1415
01:16:51,807 --> 01:16:54,109
on Monday-- I can't keep
pushing them off.
1416
01:16:54,109 --> 01:16:55,644
Yeah, I know. I know.
1417
01:16:55,644 --> 01:17:00,349
Um. All right.
We need a new competitor.
1418
01:17:00,349 --> 01:17:03,952
So, um...
1419
01:17:03,952 --> 01:17:05,721
Jacob.
1420
01:17:05,721 --> 01:17:07,389
I'll send Jacob,
it's perfect.
1421
01:17:07,389 --> 01:17:08,991
-Jacob?
-Yeah, sure,
1422
01:17:08,991 --> 01:17:10,759
he's in the dark about
all this like we agreed,
1423
01:17:10,759 --> 01:17:13,261
and he's been engaged
to Danielle for over a year,
1424
01:17:13,261 --> 01:17:14,796
so he fits the bill, right?
1425
01:17:14,796 --> 01:17:18,634
I'll just, uh,
text him that a friend
1426
01:17:18,634 --> 01:17:21,203
needs help
with her computer
1427
01:17:21,203 --> 01:17:24,873
-[sent text alert]
-and we'll see
what happens.
1428
01:17:24,873 --> 01:17:26,975
-It could work.
-Yeah, yeah,
it's going to be good.
1429
01:17:26,975 --> 01:17:29,645
It's going to be good. We are
still going to end this tonight.
1430
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:32,314
-[cell phone buzzing]
-[laughs] Ah, he's free.
1431
01:17:32,314 --> 01:17:38,153
Sweet! OK, let me text him
the address and boom.
1432
01:17:38,153 --> 01:17:42,190
Done. We're back on, OK?
1433
01:17:45,027 --> 01:17:47,062
He's kind of a freak, right?
1434
01:17:47,062 --> 01:17:48,964
I mean, you sure
you want to use him?
1435
01:17:48,964 --> 01:17:51,933
But... he doesn't go
for easy women.
1436
01:17:51,933 --> 01:17:54,670
Huh, so, you scared?
1437
01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:56,004
Right? You're scared.
1438
01:17:56,004 --> 01:17:58,073
You're sensing another W
for team Calvin.
1439
01:17:58,073 --> 01:18:00,842
Don't refer to yourself
in the third person.
1440
01:18:00,842 --> 01:18:03,245
And don't be a sore loser.
1441
01:18:03,245 --> 01:18:06,348
All right? Excuse me,
I'm going to restroom.
1442
01:18:06,348 --> 01:18:08,383
It's a close one.
1443
01:18:08,383 --> 01:18:11,253
Jacob's good. Jacob's good.
1444
01:18:13,855 --> 01:18:15,457
[cell phone buzzing]
1445
01:18:26,468 --> 01:18:31,139
[whispers] Oh, this is bad,
bad, bad...
1446
01:18:48,223 --> 01:18:49,424
Hey, Simon.
1447
01:18:49,424 --> 01:18:51,326
Can you just, uh,
1448
01:18:51,326 --> 01:18:53,895
tell Calvin that I
started feeling really bad
1449
01:18:53,895 --> 01:18:56,064
and I had to leave
and I'll call him later?
1450
01:18:56,064 --> 01:18:58,366
-Yeah.
-Great, thanks.
1451
01:19:08,376 --> 01:19:10,879
[cell phone buzzes]
1452
01:19:32,934 --> 01:19:35,871
Hey, Simon, man,
did you see where Lauren went?
1453
01:19:35,871 --> 01:19:38,306
She said she wasn't feeling well
and that she'd call you.
1454
01:19:38,306 --> 01:19:41,443
What, she just took off?
Did she look sick?
1455
01:19:41,443 --> 01:19:44,045
She seemed kind of pale,
I guess?
1456
01:19:46,515 --> 01:19:48,984
[sighs]
1457
01:19:48,984 --> 01:19:51,086
[doorbell rings]
1458
01:19:58,393 --> 01:20:01,096
Oh, wow, Jacob,
hey, come in!
1459
01:20:01,096 --> 01:20:04,800
Hey, tech geek to the rescue.
1460
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:07,402
I don't know, you don't look
like a geek to me, Jacob.
1461
01:20:07,402 --> 01:20:08,937
You OK?
1462
01:20:08,937 --> 01:20:11,406
The computer's just
in the bedroom upstairs.
1463
01:20:11,406 --> 01:20:14,109
O...kay.
1464
01:20:17,946 --> 01:20:19,881
So, where's Cal?
1465
01:20:19,881 --> 01:20:23,185
Oh... Cal didn't tell you?
1466
01:20:23,185 --> 01:20:26,521
Yeah, we broke up
last night.
1467
01:20:26,521 --> 01:20:30,258
Everything was just
moving too fast.
1468
01:20:30,258 --> 01:20:33,261
It's OK though.
We're still friends.
1469
01:20:35,096 --> 01:20:36,965
Really?
1470
01:20:41,469 --> 01:20:43,405
So...
1471
01:20:46,541 --> 01:20:49,211
this is the one
that's giving me trouble.
1472
01:20:49,211 --> 01:20:53,949
So, is it running slowly
or not at all?
1473
01:20:53,949 --> 01:20:57,252
Slowly. But then it freezes
and then I have to
1474
01:20:57,252 --> 01:20:59,154
shut the whole thing off
and start over again.
1475
01:20:59,154 --> 01:21:01,122
It's-it's infuriating.
1476
01:21:01,122 --> 01:21:03,124
It sounds like you just need
to clean up your hard drive,
1477
01:21:03,124 --> 01:21:05,293
maybe run a de-frag.
1478
01:21:05,293 --> 01:21:06,862
Let me clean
some stuff up here
1479
01:21:06,862 --> 01:21:08,396
to see if that
fixes the problem.
1480
01:21:08,396 --> 01:21:10,866
-Thanks.
-Mm-hmm.
1481
01:21:12,601 --> 01:21:15,871
I'm lucky to have a bonafide
computer genius to help me.
1482
01:21:15,871 --> 01:21:17,138
[kisses cheek]
1483
01:21:18,506 --> 01:21:21,276
Yeah, that's me.
1484
01:21:33,288 --> 01:21:34,489
Wow.
1485
01:21:34,489 --> 01:21:36,892
What?
1486
01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:38,627
Oh, your-your shoulders
are really tight.
1487
01:21:38,627 --> 01:21:40,328
When was the last time
you had a massage?
1488
01:21:40,328 --> 01:21:44,299
Oh, my God, [chuckles]
I don't know. Never.
1489
01:21:44,299 --> 01:21:46,167
Danielle doesn't give you
shoulder rubs?
1490
01:21:46,167 --> 01:21:47,168
No.
1491
01:21:50,472 --> 01:21:54,042
Here, unbutton this,
let me get in there.
1492
01:21:57,479 --> 01:21:59,681
Oh, God, that feels good.
1493
01:22:01,149 --> 01:22:02,217
[cell phone buzzes]
1494
01:22:03,218 --> 01:22:04,219
Oh...
1495
01:22:06,688 --> 01:22:07,956
[clears throat]
1496
01:22:31,012 --> 01:22:34,282
[sighs] Just need to let
the de-frag run a little while.
1497
01:22:34,282 --> 01:22:35,450
Takes a bit.
1498
01:22:35,450 --> 01:22:38,019
Thanks.
1499
01:22:40,455 --> 01:22:45,627
So, you and Calvin
are definitely over?
1500
01:22:45,627 --> 01:22:48,530
[sighs]
1501
01:22:48,530 --> 01:22:52,000
[scoffs] I just want this
whole thing to be over.
1502
01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:54,569
[sighs] I'm so confused.
1503
01:22:54,569 --> 01:22:58,206
I just...
I can't even think straight.
1504
01:23:00,608 --> 01:23:02,744
Broke up?
1505
01:23:07,649 --> 01:23:10,652
-[sighs]
-Hey, hey, it's OK.
1506
01:23:10,652 --> 01:23:14,122
Everything is OK.
I'm here.
1507
01:23:16,057 --> 01:23:18,259
Yeah.
1508
01:23:18,259 --> 01:23:20,462
Yeah, you are, aren't you?
1509
01:23:21,663 --> 01:23:25,133
Yeah, I'm here.
1510
01:23:25,133 --> 01:23:28,536
You've, uh, you've been
a great friend, Jacob.
1511
01:23:28,536 --> 01:23:31,106
Yeah? All right.
1512
01:23:31,106 --> 01:23:34,175
I think I understand you
pretty well.
1513
01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:37,612
Yeah, I always
really liked you.
1514
01:23:40,615 --> 01:23:43,184
Oh, um... Sorry, sorry.
1515
01:23:43,184 --> 01:23:47,288
Just my head really hurts.
I need an aspirin.
1516
01:23:47,288 --> 01:23:49,290
You're the perfect woman,
Lauren.
1517
01:23:49,290 --> 01:23:51,359
-What?
-You're the perfect woman.
1518
01:23:51,359 --> 01:23:54,429
I created an app that
I sold for a ton of money
this week
1519
01:23:54,429 --> 01:23:57,699
and it's all about you.
The perfect woman.
1520
01:23:57,699 --> 01:24:00,301
I'm going to be rich
and now that Calvin
is out of the way,
1521
01:24:00,301 --> 01:24:02,670
I can take care of you
like you deserve.
1522
01:24:02,670 --> 01:24:08,143
Uhh, I'm not
the perfect woman... at all.
1523
01:24:08,143 --> 01:24:11,212
You have no idea
how messed up I am, actually.
1524
01:24:11,212 --> 01:24:14,416
Ohh, I'm so messed up, so maybe
we're perfect for each other!
1525
01:24:14,416 --> 01:24:16,317
-Uh, wait, hold on.
-What?
1526
01:24:16,317 --> 01:24:17,786
I think my phone is... yeah.
1527
01:24:17,786 --> 01:24:20,355
-Yeah, I did hear it...
-[mumbles]
1528
01:24:20,355 --> 01:24:22,724
Uh, oh... Mom?
1529
01:24:22,724 --> 01:24:24,626
-Yeah, I'm, um...
-Lauren?
1530
01:24:24,626 --> 01:24:26,694
You don't have
to tease me anymore.
1531
01:24:26,694 --> 01:24:30,298
I'm already
crazy about you.
1532
01:24:43,211 --> 01:24:46,481
I knew... I always knew
we would be together,
I just knew it!
1533
01:24:46,481 --> 01:24:47,615
What the hell
is going on in here?
1534
01:24:47,615 --> 01:24:48,683
Oh, my God,
Calvin.
1535
01:24:48,683 --> 01:24:51,086
Oh... Nothing, nothing.
1536
01:24:51,086 --> 01:24:54,355
Absolutely nothing.
Oh my-- I'm so sorry.
1537
01:24:54,355 --> 01:24:59,227
It was the competition
and I was trying to win.
1538
01:24:59,227 --> 01:25:04,132
Uh, isn't life
really a competition?
1539
01:25:04,132 --> 01:25:05,300
Wait... [grunts]
1540
01:25:05,300 --> 01:25:07,435
Dude, you guys broke up!
1541
01:25:07,435 --> 01:25:09,504
You're a pig, man!
What's wrong with you?
1542
01:25:09,504 --> 01:25:10,872
You're supposed to be
my best friend.
1543
01:25:10,872 --> 01:25:12,874
Ohh! I'm the pig?
1544
01:25:12,874 --> 01:25:15,143
Is that how
we're gonna play it?
1545
01:25:15,143 --> 01:25:16,778
-What about you?
-What about me?
1546
01:25:16,778 --> 01:25:19,681
Oh, perfect freakin'
undefeated Calvin Chesney
1547
01:25:19,681 --> 01:25:22,750
never does anything wrong,
does he?
1548
01:25:22,750 --> 01:25:24,385
Or does he?
1549
01:25:24,385 --> 01:25:27,355
Huh, maybe we should
ask Gena what she thinks?
1550
01:25:27,355 --> 01:25:28,490
Jake, don't.
1551
01:25:28,490 --> 01:25:30,725
Gena?
What is he talking about?
1552
01:25:30,725 --> 01:25:32,427
-[chuckles]
-Don't.
1553
01:25:32,427 --> 01:25:34,629
Calvin slept with your
sister back in law school.
1554
01:25:34,629 --> 01:25:36,731
-Oh!
-[gasps]
1555
01:25:38,633 --> 01:25:41,202
-Lauren, Lauren, wait a minute.
-No.
1556
01:25:41,202 --> 01:25:43,204
I didn't...
1557
01:25:43,204 --> 01:25:45,573
Why did you do that, man?
What's wrong with you?
1558
01:25:45,573 --> 01:25:48,476
-You should have told her.
-I didn't sleep with Gena!
1559
01:25:50,211 --> 01:25:52,213
-Really?
-Really.
1560
01:25:53,548 --> 01:25:55,150
No, no, that summer
1561
01:25:55,150 --> 01:25:57,252
you guys were all
flirty and stuff.
1562
01:25:57,252 --> 01:25:58,620
You guys acted
like you did!
1563
01:25:58,620 --> 01:26:00,922
No, man!
We went on a few dates,
1564
01:26:00,922 --> 01:26:03,158
but we're friends
for Christ's sake.
1565
01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:08,596
Yeah, yeah, I see what
I did there. Sorry, my bad.
1566
01:26:08,596 --> 01:26:11,799
Yeah, sorry about your lip.
1567
01:26:11,799 --> 01:26:13,334
[groans]
1568
01:26:13,334 --> 01:26:15,403
-Lauren!
-Oh, that hurts.
1569
01:26:15,403 --> 01:26:17,372
Lauren! Lauren?
1570
01:26:25,313 --> 01:26:26,648
Are you OK? What happened?
1571
01:26:26,648 --> 01:26:27,949
Why didn't you tell me
the truth?
1572
01:26:27,949 --> 01:26:30,585
What? Oh no, no, no, no.
1573
01:26:30,585 --> 01:26:33,588
He-- Look, he told me
as soon as he met you
1574
01:26:33,588 --> 01:26:35,190
that he didn't want
to make partner
1575
01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:36,691
just for getting you
to shut the blog down.
1576
01:26:36,691 --> 01:26:37,892
-Wh-what?
-What?
1577
01:26:37,892 --> 01:26:39,794
Oh no, no--
Oh, that's nothing.
1578
01:26:39,794 --> 01:26:42,297
-What's your thing?
-[scoffs] Why did you lie to me
1579
01:26:42,297 --> 01:26:45,266
-about sleeping with Calvin?
-I didn't sleep with Calvin.
1580
01:26:45,266 --> 01:26:46,668
[scoffs] Right, you didn't.
1581
01:26:46,668 --> 01:26:47,769
No! I didn't.
1582
01:26:47,769 --> 01:26:49,571
I-- We went on
a couple dates
1583
01:26:49,571 --> 01:26:51,839
-in law school.
-Then why didn't
you say anything?
1584
01:26:51,839 --> 01:26:53,541
Because I didn't think
you needed to know.
1585
01:26:53,541 --> 01:26:54,976
It was a long time ago,
it was nothing!
1586
01:26:54,976 --> 01:26:56,644
You know, Gena,
you're such a slut.
1587
01:26:56,644 --> 01:26:58,346
Excuse me?
1588
01:26:58,346 --> 01:26:59,881
I enjoy my life
the way it is,
1589
01:26:59,881 --> 01:27:01,482
and I don't need
to answer to you,
1590
01:27:01,482 --> 01:27:03,284
and I didn't sleep
with Calvin.
1591
01:27:03,284 --> 01:27:05,720
Why would you send me
someone you know
is so wonderful
1592
01:27:05,720 --> 01:27:07,822
you know I would
fall in love with him?
1593
01:27:07,822 --> 01:27:09,824
What, are you-are you
trying to hurt me?
1594
01:27:09,824 --> 01:27:12,493
I'm sorry.
1595
01:27:12,493 --> 01:27:13,995
I knew how wonderful
he was.
1596
01:27:13,995 --> 01:27:15,697
I knew you'd fall
in love with him.
1597
01:27:15,697 --> 01:27:17,398
I was just trying
to help.
1598
01:27:17,398 --> 01:27:20,001
Well, I guess your instincts
are about as great as mine.
1599
01:27:20,001 --> 01:27:23,538
You know, I came on
to Jacob tonight.
1600
01:27:23,538 --> 01:27:24,739
What, why?
1601
01:27:24,739 --> 01:27:27,342
It was the last challenge
1602
01:27:27,342 --> 01:27:30,878
and, God, I wanted to win,
you know?
1603
01:27:30,878 --> 01:27:33,781
And I knew he had
a crush on me
1604
01:27:33,781 --> 01:27:36,017
and I knew
he would go for it,
1605
01:27:36,017 --> 01:27:42,423
and Calvin came in at the...
oh, worst moment!
1606
01:27:43,992 --> 01:27:45,960
He's not going
to forgive me.
1607
01:27:45,960 --> 01:27:48,963
-Come here.
-[sobbing]
I messed this up so bad.
1608
01:27:48,963 --> 01:27:50,865
Come here.
1609
01:28:20,328 --> 01:28:22,063
[coughing]
1610
01:28:33,675 --> 01:28:35,510
[sighs]
1611
01:28:50,058 --> 01:28:53,428
[sighs] I'm sorry I called you
a slut, that was stupid.
1612
01:28:53,428 --> 01:28:56,597
That's all right.
It takes one to know one.
1613
01:28:58,966 --> 01:29:01,903
-[sighs]
-[doorbell rings]
1614
01:29:06,007 --> 01:29:08,609
[laughing]
1615
01:29:08,609 --> 01:29:10,945
Guess who got hitched!?
1616
01:29:10,945 --> 01:29:12,980
We wanted to call!
1617
01:29:12,980 --> 01:29:17,118
-But my heart could not wait!
-But Alejandro insisted.
1618
01:29:17,118 --> 01:29:21,622
It was a field with
a crescendo of grass
for my...
1619
01:29:21,622 --> 01:29:22,957
beloved...
1620
01:29:22,957 --> 01:29:26,794
-So, we got...
-[together] Married!
1621
01:29:26,794 --> 01:29:29,130
[laughter]
1622
01:29:29,130 --> 01:29:31,632
Mom, really?
1623
01:29:31,632 --> 01:29:35,970
-[sighs]
-Oh, no, what happened?
1624
01:29:35,970 --> 01:29:40,508
Oh, you know,
Gena and Calvin...
1625
01:29:40,508 --> 01:29:43,945
Gena, how could you?
1626
01:29:43,945 --> 01:29:48,449
Oh, it was a long time ago,
they just didn't tell me.
1627
01:29:48,449 --> 01:29:49,984
[mom] Really, Gena?
Do you have to sleep
1628
01:29:49,984 --> 01:29:54,422
-with every man in Portland?
-I did not sleep with him!
1629
01:29:54,422 --> 01:29:56,691
The thing is, you know,
I just...
1630
01:29:56,691 --> 01:29:58,659
I really love him.
1631
01:29:58,659 --> 01:30:02,730
My heart is, was, so...
1632
01:30:04,399 --> 01:30:05,767
full.
1633
01:30:05,767 --> 01:30:09,137
You know, it takes time
to adjust to the fullness.
1634
01:30:09,137 --> 01:30:11,672
He's probably really,
really hurt.
1635
01:30:11,672 --> 01:30:15,143
Yeah, but the thing is,
did you intend to hurt him?
1636
01:30:15,143 --> 01:30:18,045
-No, no.
-Would you do it again?
1637
01:30:18,045 --> 01:30:20,681
-No, never.
-So, that's fine!
1638
01:30:20,681 --> 01:30:22,583
He will forgive you.
1639
01:30:22,583 --> 01:30:25,820
That's the beautiful fantastic
thing about love.
1640
01:30:25,820 --> 01:30:26,921
You understand?
1641
01:30:26,921 --> 01:30:29,791
Yeah. Well, the thing is,
1642
01:30:29,791 --> 01:30:31,659
he's been lying to me
the whole time.
1643
01:30:31,659 --> 01:30:34,629
So... [sighs]
1644
01:30:34,629 --> 01:30:35,997
How can I trust him?
1645
01:30:35,997 --> 01:30:39,901
I have an idea.
1646
01:30:39,901 --> 01:30:42,203
Lauren,
1647
01:30:42,203 --> 01:30:44,739
you are going to
have to trust me.
1648
01:30:44,739 --> 01:30:47,742
-Oh... trust you?
-[sent text alert]
1649
01:30:47,742 --> 01:30:51,679
Yeah. You're just going to
have to do it.
1650
01:30:51,679 --> 01:30:54,482
And this, all this
needs to be cleaned up,
1651
01:30:54,482 --> 01:30:56,083
uh, Alejandro will you
move the cars outside
1652
01:30:56,083 --> 01:30:57,452
-so they can't be seen?
-Of course.
1653
01:30:57,452 --> 01:31:00,655
And Mom? Help me
close these curtains.
1654
01:31:00,655 --> 01:31:04,559
And Lauren, you just
stay here and stay quiet.
1655
01:31:04,559 --> 01:31:05,726
G, what are you up to?
1656
01:31:05,726 --> 01:31:07,962
I'm the one who started
all this.
1657
01:31:07,962 --> 01:31:11,899
Just give me a chance
to make it right, please?
1658
01:31:11,899 --> 01:31:13,801
[sighs]
1659
01:31:16,037 --> 01:31:18,039
OK, do your worst.
1660
01:31:18,039 --> 01:31:19,474
OK.
1661
01:31:22,710 --> 01:31:26,614
♪ No more fierce blue eyes ♪
1662
01:31:26,614 --> 01:31:29,984
♪ No more last goodbyes ♪
1663
01:31:29,984 --> 01:31:33,554
♪ No more patronizing ♪
1664
01:31:35,723 --> 01:31:37,859
[doorbell rings]
1665
01:31:37,859 --> 01:31:40,194
♪ No more alibis ♪
1666
01:31:40,194 --> 01:31:42,029
[knocking,
doorbell ringing rapidly]
1667
01:31:42,029 --> 01:31:44,866
♪ No more do or die ♪
1668
01:31:44,866 --> 01:31:48,636
♪ The stakes are in the skies ♪
1669
01:31:52,173 --> 01:31:54,742
Please tell me you didn't
drive over here like that?
1670
01:31:54,742 --> 01:31:57,178
Mm. I took an Uber.
1671
01:31:57,178 --> 01:31:59,046
Good boy.
1672
01:31:59,046 --> 01:32:03,150
Oh, is that what this is...
a work call?
1673
01:32:03,150 --> 01:32:05,987
Yeah, I thought
we could go over
1674
01:32:05,987 --> 01:32:07,922
the husband's testimony again,
1675
01:32:07,922 --> 01:32:10,224
you know, see if there's
anything we missed.
1676
01:32:10,224 --> 01:32:13,861
[groans] I don't feel
like working tonight, Gena.
1677
01:32:13,861 --> 01:32:15,229
[Gena]
Yeah, I can see that.
1678
01:32:15,229 --> 01:32:17,632
I'm glad
you called, though.
1679
01:32:17,632 --> 01:32:19,634
I need a place to stay.
1680
01:32:19,634 --> 01:32:22,870
Of course. You know
I'm always here for you.
1681
01:32:22,870 --> 01:32:24,739
You want to tell me
what happened?
1682
01:32:24,739 --> 01:32:27,074
You're really pretty.
1683
01:32:27,074 --> 01:32:29,977
You're drunk. Why don't you
tell me what happened?
1684
01:32:29,977 --> 01:32:32,580
[groans]
1685
01:32:32,580 --> 01:32:39,287
The competition.
The last competition.
1686
01:32:39,287 --> 01:32:43,090
Your sister thought
1687
01:32:43,090 --> 01:32:44,659
it would be a kick
1688
01:32:44,659 --> 01:32:47,662
to challenge my best friend
using herself as bait.
1689
01:32:47,662 --> 01:32:50,698
[Gena] Ouch,
that must have stung.
1690
01:32:50,698 --> 01:32:52,266
Yeah.
1691
01:32:52,266 --> 01:32:53,301
Did he go for it?
1692
01:32:53,301 --> 01:32:56,671
Yeah, he went for it.
1693
01:32:56,671 --> 01:33:00,007
[scoffs] I don't know.
1694
01:33:00,007 --> 01:33:03,678
Maybe... maybe Lauren's
right about people.
1695
01:33:03,678 --> 01:33:05,846
Did she get his underwear?
1696
01:33:05,846 --> 01:33:08,950
-What?
-Isn't that a rule?
1697
01:33:10,084 --> 01:33:12,086
Yeah,
1698
01:33:12,086 --> 01:33:14,855
but no, she...
she didn't get it.
1699
01:33:14,855 --> 01:33:16,857
-I interrupted them.
-Oh.
1700
01:33:16,857 --> 01:33:22,263
Well, then I guess, technically,
the challenge isn't over yet.
1701
01:33:22,263 --> 01:33:25,199
No, no, it's over.
1702
01:33:25,199 --> 01:33:29,003
Oh. Well, then cheers
to it being over.
1703
01:33:36,177 --> 01:33:38,813
[Calvin] Do you think
all men are pigs?
1704
01:33:38,813 --> 01:33:44,018
I think all men can be
and so can all women.
1705
01:33:44,018 --> 01:33:48,889
It's a choice we make
every day.
1706
01:33:48,889 --> 01:33:52,660
What about me?
Am I a pig?
1707
01:33:52,660 --> 01:33:58,032
I think you can be
if you choose.
1708
01:33:58,032 --> 01:34:00,635
If I choose.
1709
01:34:00,635 --> 01:34:02,937
Exactly.
1710
01:34:02,937 --> 01:34:06,774
Aww, you're hurt.
1711
01:34:08,042 --> 01:34:09,310
Mm.
1712
01:34:10,978 --> 01:34:13,648
Hey, um, you got
a glass for this?
1713
01:34:13,648 --> 01:34:15,216
I hate drinking
from the bottle.
1714
01:34:16,651 --> 01:34:17,752
[clears throat]
1715
01:34:19,020 --> 01:34:21,322
-Boo.
-Oh, hi.
1716
01:34:21,322 --> 01:34:23,791
It's really hot in here.
I don't think you need this.
1717
01:34:23,791 --> 01:34:25,726
OK.
1718
01:34:25,726 --> 01:34:27,695
You know, Cal,
there is a reason
1719
01:34:27,695 --> 01:34:29,697
you were so willing
to come over here tonight.
1720
01:34:29,697 --> 01:34:34,035
-There is?
-Yeah, you know it,
if you think about it.
1721
01:34:34,035 --> 01:34:36,804
If you're honest
with yourself.
1722
01:34:39,674 --> 01:34:41,676
You and me are like
the same person, Cal,
1723
01:34:41,676 --> 01:34:45,312
and people like Lauren,
they have strict rules
1724
01:34:45,312 --> 01:34:47,782
that control their lives,
you know.
1725
01:34:47,782 --> 01:34:51,052
They need those rules
to feel safe.
1726
01:34:52,319 --> 01:34:53,754
And people like us?
1727
01:34:53,754 --> 01:34:56,023
We don't have rules.
1728
01:34:56,023 --> 01:35:00,861
We just listen to our wants
and desires and follow them.
1729
01:35:00,861 --> 01:35:07,001
No right or wrong,
just instinct.
1730
01:35:08,836 --> 01:35:11,338
-[mumbling]
-Shh.
1731
01:35:11,338 --> 01:35:12,907
Wait what was that,
did you hear something?
1732
01:35:12,907 --> 01:35:15,309
There's a TV on upstairs.
1733
01:35:15,309 --> 01:35:17,778
Remember that summer
we spent together?
1734
01:35:17,778 --> 01:35:20,414
-Yeah.
-Remember how good that felt?
1735
01:35:20,414 --> 01:35:25,119
-Yeah.
-No strings, just instinct.
1736
01:35:26,854 --> 01:35:29,023
No one has to know.
1737
01:35:32,727 --> 01:35:34,028
Stop.
1738
01:35:35,329 --> 01:35:37,932
Stop right there.
1739
01:35:37,932 --> 01:35:40,835
This isn't happening.
1740
01:35:40,835 --> 01:35:43,137
What's not happening?
1741
01:35:43,137 --> 01:35:45,840
This! Me and you.
1742
01:35:45,840 --> 01:35:49,143
Because even if nobody knows
that you did a bad thing,
1743
01:35:49,143 --> 01:35:50,745
it's still a bad thing.
1744
01:35:50,745 --> 01:35:54,782
And this, this, Gena,
is a very, very bad thing.
1745
01:35:54,782 --> 01:35:56,751
You know,
you're wrong about me,
1746
01:35:56,751 --> 01:35:59,520
because I believe in love,
I believe in romance.
1747
01:35:59,520 --> 01:36:01,355
I believe
in the soulful chemistry
1748
01:36:01,355 --> 01:36:03,958
between two people
that just can't be explained.
1749
01:36:03,958 --> 01:36:06,527
I believe in bourbon,
you know?
1750
01:36:06,527 --> 01:36:09,997
I believe in black coffee,
strong black coffee.
1751
01:36:09,997 --> 01:36:11,966
I believe in getting
eight hours of sleep at night,
1752
01:36:11,966 --> 01:36:14,468
and doing at least one thing
to better yourself every day.
1753
01:36:14,468 --> 01:36:17,805
I believe the practice of law
is fundamentally imperfect,
1754
01:36:17,805 --> 01:36:20,374
but we do the best we can,
and sometimes we do good.
1755
01:36:20,374 --> 01:36:23,511
I believe that hook-up
websites prey on people's
fears of inadequacy,
1756
01:36:23,511 --> 01:36:25,379
novels are always better
than movies,
1757
01:36:25,379 --> 01:36:27,515
and no formula,
scientific or otherwise,
1758
01:36:27,515 --> 01:36:30,785
can determine with absolute
certainty if someone
is going to cheat or not!
1759
01:36:30,785 --> 01:36:33,821
Yes, I believe in instincts.
1760
01:36:33,821 --> 01:36:36,824
But unlike you, I know
there is right and wrong,
1761
01:36:36,824 --> 01:36:38,959
and the wrong thing here
is to indulge you
1762
01:36:38,959 --> 01:36:41,796
in whatever this is,
because, A, you're my boss now,
1763
01:36:41,796 --> 01:36:43,831
and as weirdly hot
as that might be,
1764
01:36:43,831 --> 01:36:47,001
it jeopardizes everything
I've worked for
and it's also illegal.
1765
01:36:47,001 --> 01:36:49,837
B, if it was ever going
to work out between us, Gena,
1766
01:36:49,837 --> 01:36:52,306
it already would have
a long time ago.
1767
01:36:52,306 --> 01:36:56,377
And C, because you used me
for this stupid little scheme
of yours.
1768
01:36:56,377 --> 01:36:58,946
I met Lauren.
1769
01:37:00,080 --> 01:37:02,082
I love her.
1770
01:37:03,450 --> 01:37:05,553
OK?
1771
01:37:05,553 --> 01:37:07,588
I love her.
1772
01:37:07,588 --> 01:37:09,390
She's everything I want
in a partner.
1773
01:37:09,390 --> 01:37:12,092
She's beautiful, she's smart,
she's quirky...
1774
01:37:12,092 --> 01:37:15,129
Yes, she's stubborn,
but that's because
she knows what she wants.
1775
01:37:15,129 --> 01:37:18,365
At least, she thinks she does,
and I think that's adorable.
1776
01:37:18,365 --> 01:37:21,368
She loves pizza and hiking
and sleeping in on Sunday.
1777
01:37:21,368 --> 01:37:23,504
Her interests are just different
enough from mine
1778
01:37:23,504 --> 01:37:26,140
that we'll always be able
to show each other new things.
1779
01:37:26,140 --> 01:37:30,044
And I get butterflies when
I know I'm about to see her.
1780
01:37:30,044 --> 01:37:33,047
And no, she's not perfect.
1781
01:37:33,047 --> 01:37:36,917
But she's perfect for me.
1782
01:37:36,917 --> 01:37:40,354
And I don't care
what I have to do
or how long it takes.
1783
01:37:40,354 --> 01:37:42,556
I'm going to prove it
to her.
1784
01:37:42,556 --> 01:37:45,025
You just did.
1785
01:37:45,025 --> 01:37:48,262
Congratulations, Cal,
you were the last challenger.
1786
01:37:48,262 --> 01:37:51,498
You had to be, and you won.
1787
01:37:54,335 --> 01:37:56,170
Lauren, hi.
1788
01:37:57,605 --> 01:37:59,206
You love me?
1789
01:37:59,206 --> 01:38:01,609
With everything I got.
1790
01:38:01,609 --> 01:38:03,978
[sighs]
1791
01:38:03,978 --> 01:38:05,646
I love you, too.
1792
01:38:08,549 --> 01:38:12,086
-OK... OK.
-[chuckles]
1793
01:38:12,086 --> 01:38:15,990
So, what do you say
we put all this behind us
and start again, huh?
1794
01:38:15,990 --> 01:38:18,259
No expiration date.
1795
01:38:18,259 --> 01:38:19,960
[sighs]
1796
01:38:23,163 --> 01:38:25,299
-[bottle pops open]
-To love!
1797
01:38:25,299 --> 01:38:28,369
laughter]
1798
01:38:28,369 --> 01:38:31,038
-He is very excitable.
-He is.
1799
01:38:31,038 --> 01:38:32,940
[laughter]
1800
01:38:42,349 --> 01:38:47,254
♪ I can't see
the forest, is it green? ♪
1801
01:38:47,254 --> 01:38:50,090
♪ Is the ocean blue? ♪
1802
01:38:50,090 --> 01:38:51,959
♪ I can't see the sky ♪
1803
01:38:51,959 --> 01:38:54,561
♪ Is it orange cream? ♪
1804
01:38:54,561 --> 01:38:57,698
♪ All I can see is you ♪
1805
01:38:57,698 --> 01:39:00,334
♪ La da da di da da ♪
1806
01:39:00,334 --> 01:39:02,236
-Hi.
-Hi, I just,
1807
01:39:02,236 --> 01:39:04,004
I love the new direction
of your blog.
1808
01:39:04,004 --> 01:39:07,207
It's so inspiring,
the book is amazing.
1809
01:39:07,207 --> 01:39:10,611
Life is tough,
but love is stronger.
1810
01:39:10,611 --> 01:39:12,680
-A-men.
-[chuckles]
1811
01:39:14,214 --> 01:39:15,549
Thank you.
1812
01:39:15,549 --> 01:39:18,218
It's so great,
and I love your new vision.
1813
01:39:18,218 --> 01:39:20,254
I really love
being a White Knight.
1814
01:39:20,254 --> 01:39:23,590
[chuckles] Yeah.
It's more of an expanded
thought, really, but...
1815
01:39:25,025 --> 01:39:26,727
Never mind.
1816
01:39:26,727 --> 01:39:30,030
-I'm glad you like it, thanks.
-Thank you.
1817
01:39:30,030 --> 01:39:32,733
Hey. Do we have a few more
of those back there?
1818
01:39:32,733 --> 01:39:34,468
Because they are going fast.
Great.
1819
01:39:38,005 --> 01:39:39,206
Hello there!
1820
01:39:39,206 --> 01:39:41,008
Don't tell me
you two read the blog,
1821
01:39:41,008 --> 01:39:44,578
because that makes no sense.
Oh... [laughs] Mom does.
1822
01:39:44,578 --> 01:39:46,113
Hi, Mom!
1823
01:39:46,113 --> 01:39:48,082
♪ La da da di da da ♪
1824
01:39:48,082 --> 01:39:49,984
♪ La da da di da ♪
1825
01:39:49,984 --> 01:39:52,519
OK, you ready?
1826
01:39:54,455 --> 01:39:56,023
Let's do this!
1827
01:40:01,028 --> 01:40:02,029
[chuckles]
1828
01:40:03,130 --> 01:40:06,066
["Joyride" plays]
1829
01:40:16,610 --> 01:40:20,714
♪ You never thought
you'd ever move to ♪
1830
01:40:20,714 --> 01:40:23,584
♪ Another place in time ♪
1831
01:40:23,584 --> 01:40:27,554
♪ If your world's
a million colors ♪
1832
01:40:27,554 --> 01:40:30,290
♪ Not so black and white ♪
1833
01:40:30,290 --> 01:40:34,028
♪ You want a road
that takes you higher ♪
1834
01:40:34,028 --> 01:40:36,764
♪ Your soul has never
been so bright ♪
1835
01:40:36,764 --> 01:40:41,468
♪ Green eyes, suitcase,
city lights ♪
1836
01:40:41,468 --> 01:40:43,737
♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪
1837
01:40:43,737 --> 01:40:45,539
♪ Joyride ♪
1838
01:40:45,539 --> 01:40:48,509
♪ Take you to the place
you've never been ♪
1839
01:40:48,509 --> 01:40:50,611
♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪
1840
01:40:50,611 --> 01:40:52,279
♪ One ride ♪
1841
01:40:52,279 --> 01:40:55,349
♪ Tell you
that'll be just fine ♪
1842
01:40:55,349 --> 01:40:57,251
♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪
1843
01:40:57,251 --> 01:40:59,053
♪ Joyride ♪
1844
01:40:59,053 --> 01:41:02,256
♪ Take you to the place
you've never seen ♪
1845
01:41:02,256 --> 01:41:04,324
♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪
1846
01:41:04,324 --> 01:41:05,726
♪ One ride ♪
1847
01:41:05,726 --> 01:41:09,496
♪ Tell you that'll be
just fine ♪
1848
01:41:09,496 --> 01:41:12,599
♪ You step out
into the ocean ♪
1849
01:41:12,599 --> 01:41:16,203
♪ And feel the summer breeze ♪
1850
01:41:16,203 --> 01:41:19,373
♪ You hold
your part right open ♪
1851
01:41:19,373 --> 01:41:23,277
♪ And raise your company ♪
1852
01:41:23,277 --> 01:41:26,547
♪ A little lust
A little trust ♪
1853
01:41:26,547 --> 01:41:30,250
♪ You know that everything
is gonna be all right ♪
1854
01:41:30,250 --> 01:41:32,853
♪ A little lust
A little trust ♪
1855
01:41:32,853 --> 01:41:34,421
♪ Just enough ♪
1856
01:41:34,421 --> 01:41:35,756
♪ Just enough
to make you mine ♪
1857
01:41:35,756 --> 01:41:39,293
♪ Joyride ♪
1858
01:41:39,293 --> 01:41:41,528
♪ Take you to the place
you've never been ♪
1859
01:41:41,528 --> 01:41:44,364
♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪
1860
01:41:44,364 --> 01:41:45,732
♪ One ride ♪
1861
01:41:45,732 --> 01:41:48,435
♪ Tell you it'll be
just fine ♪
1862
01:41:48,435 --> 01:41:50,337
♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪
1863
01:41:50,337 --> 01:41:52,139
♪ Joyride ♪
1864
01:41:52,139 --> 01:41:55,175
♪ Take you to the place
you've never seen ♪
1865
01:41:55,175 --> 01:41:57,478
♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪
1866
01:41:57,478 --> 01:41:58,879
♪ One ride ♪
1867
01:41:58,879 --> 01:42:02,549
♪ Tell you that'll be
just fine ♪
1868
01:42:02,549 --> 01:42:05,285
[vocalizing]
1869
01:42:15,662 --> 01:42:17,698
♪ I see you ♪
1870
01:42:17,698 --> 01:42:20,834
♪ Standing in the ocean ♪
1871
01:42:20,834 --> 01:42:24,371
♪ Just beneath the harbor ♪
1872
01:42:24,371 --> 01:42:29,343
♪ Holding on to your... ♪
1873
01:42:31,778 --> 01:42:35,182
♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪
1874
01:42:35,182 --> 01:42:38,385
♪ Take you to the place
you've never been ♪
1875
01:42:38,385 --> 01:42:40,687
♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪
1876
01:42:40,687 --> 01:42:42,289
♪ One ride ♪
1877
01:42:42,289 --> 01:42:45,159
♪ Tell you it'll be
just fine ♪
1878
01:42:45,159 --> 01:42:46,660
♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪
1879
01:42:46,660 --> 01:42:48,462
♪ Joyride ♪
1880
01:42:48,462 --> 01:42:51,665
♪ Take you to the place
you've never seen ♪
1881
01:42:51,665 --> 01:42:53,400
♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪
1882
01:42:53,400 --> 01:42:54,868
♪ One ride ♪
1883
01:42:54,868 --> 01:42:58,805
♪ Tell you
that'll be just fine ♪
1884
01:42:58,805 --> 01:43:03,443
♪ My heart aches for you ♪
1885
01:43:03,443 --> 01:43:05,946
♪ And only ♪
1886
01:43:05,946 --> 01:43:10,250
♪ My heart aches for you ♪
1887
01:43:10,250 --> 01:43:13,187
♪ And only ♪
137060
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