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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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www.fmsubs.com
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So, what can I tell
you about Eve Wilde...
4
00:00:37,942 --> 00:00:39,608
that you don't already know?
5
00:00:39,610 --> 00:00:41,376
Well, for starters...
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00:00:41,378 --> 00:00:43,544
she absolutely hates
being called "Grandma"...
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00:00:43,546 --> 00:00:45,647
or "Grandmother" or
anything with "Grand" in it.
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00:00:45,649 --> 00:00:48,784
So, she's just plain old
Eve to both you and me.
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00:00:48,786 --> 00:00:50,519
Oh.
10
00:00:50,521 --> 00:00:53,621
You probably do know
she's been married before.
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00:00:53,623 --> 00:00:55,556
Right?
12
00:00:55,558 --> 00:00:57,425
But the only one you really
need to pay attention to...
13
00:00:57,427 --> 00:01:00,729
is Laurence, Husband Number
One and my personal favorite...
14
00:01:00,731 --> 00:01:02,898
because, he is
technically my grandpa.
15
00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:04,465
But guess what?
16
00:01:04,467 --> 00:01:08,771
I can't call him that, either. Actors.
17
00:01:08,773 --> 00:01:10,839
Eve and Laurence met in New York...
18
00:01:10,841 --> 00:01:15,042
where Laurence was studying
to be a famous actor.
19
00:01:15,044 --> 00:01:17,545
And Eve wanted to be an actress...
20
00:01:17,547 --> 00:01:21,015
but well, you know how
that ol' chestnut goes.
21
00:01:21,017 --> 00:01:24,485
Life's what happens while
you're busy making plans.
22
00:01:24,487 --> 00:01:27,923
Laurence got cast as the
lead in this big comedy...
23
00:01:27,925 --> 00:01:29,658
and he got Eve a part in it, too...
24
00:01:29,660 --> 00:01:31,560
which was super-cool of him.
25
00:01:31,562 --> 00:01:33,861
But when the film came out,
all of the reviews said...
26
00:01:33,863 --> 00:01:36,798
"Hello. A star is born".
27
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,634
But, they weren't
talking about Laurence.
28
00:01:39,636 --> 00:01:43,638
By the time Eve was one of the
biggest stars in the world...
29
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,441
she and Laurence were exchanging...
30
00:01:45,443 --> 00:01:47,542
humorous divorce gifts.
31
00:01:47,544 --> 00:01:50,446
A silver cowbell for Eve
to wear around her neck...
32
00:01:50,448 --> 00:01:52,214
so Laurence would always
know she was coming.
33
00:01:52,216 --> 00:01:54,116
A birdcage for Laurence...
34
00:01:54,118 --> 00:01:57,018
so that the next Mrs.
Darling couldn't get away.
35
00:01:57,020 --> 00:01:58,753
I'd say Eve is on the whole...
36
00:01:58,755 --> 00:02:00,688
what you'd call a positive person.
37
00:02:00,690 --> 00:02:03,792
She says that her whole life
has been one long fairytale...
38
00:02:03,794 --> 00:02:05,726
and everything.
39
00:02:05,728 --> 00:02:08,464
But I might just disagree with Eve here.
40
00:02:08,466 --> 00:02:11,900
I might say, in everything,
except love...
41
00:02:11,902 --> 00:02:14,870
which frankly, if you knew the family...
42
00:02:14,872 --> 00:02:17,842
would be considered the family "hurdle."
43
00:02:19,109 --> 00:02:20,945
But all that was about to change.
44
00:02:24,248 --> 00:02:27,115
Like the lightning that
precedes thunder...
45
00:02:27,117 --> 00:02:31,486
my eyes took in what my
heart knew an instant later...
46
00:02:31,488 --> 00:02:34,055
that this was love.
47
00:02:34,057 --> 00:02:36,460
Love at first sight.
48
00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:51,173
So I'm making a film
for Eve of the weekend.
49
00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:52,708
It's my wedding gift.
50
00:02:52,710 --> 00:02:54,675
And from prior experience...
51
00:02:54,677 --> 00:02:57,279
I can say it'll have a little
bit of all the genres...
52
00:02:57,281 --> 00:03:02,084
comedy, drama, musical, and
of course documentary...
53
00:03:02,086 --> 00:03:03,752
which is my forte because...
54
00:03:03,754 --> 00:03:06,587
I like to think I ask
the tough questions.
55
00:03:06,589 --> 00:03:08,289
I bet it was the Swedish nanny...
56
00:03:08,291 --> 00:03:09,824
who jumped you when you were like 16.
57
00:03:09,826 --> 00:03:11,259
Excuse me?
58
00:03:11,261 --> 00:03:13,895
Mom told me. She said that
girl was totally your type.
59
00:03:13,897 --> 00:03:15,563
Bad girl.
60
00:03:15,565 --> 00:03:18,166
Oh my god. Mackenzie,
that is so inappropriate.
61
00:03:18,168 --> 00:03:20,202
Come on, it was
the Swedish nanny, right?
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00:03:20,204 --> 00:03:23,871
Actually, my first love was...
63
00:03:23,873 --> 00:03:26,741
My first love...
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00:03:26,743 --> 00:03:29,978
Okay, so he's doing
this whole drum-roll...
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00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:33,048
thing because deep down, he
wants to say it was my mom...
66
00:03:33,050 --> 00:03:36,617
but instead, he's just trying
to think of something funny.
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00:03:36,619 --> 00:03:39,587
That's my mom and dad
in this band they had.
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00:03:39,589 --> 00:03:42,557
Mom said there were a lot of guys...
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00:03:42,559 --> 00:03:46,595
trying to get her attention,
but she only had eyes for him.
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00:03:46,597 --> 00:03:50,732
She said he wrote the
most dreamy music.
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00:03:50,734 --> 00:03:55,103
Thing is, he still
does, just not for her.
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00:03:55,105 --> 00:04:01,043
My first love was
a crème brulée...
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00:04:01,045 --> 00:04:03,745
that I had in the south
of France when I was 12.
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00:04:03,747 --> 00:04:05,980
You're so emotionally retarded, Dad.
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00:04:05,982 --> 00:04:08,917
Thank you. All right, hang on.
76
00:04:08,919 --> 00:04:10,585
Hey, Jimmy.
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00:04:10,587 --> 00:04:11,686
I'm patchin' Ethan in.
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00:04:11,688 --> 00:04:13,322
- Okay.
- But I got everything...
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00:04:13,324 --> 00:04:15,990
all of Harold's numbers,
bank accounts, loans, debts...
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00:04:15,992 --> 00:04:17,726
My Uncle Jimmy has fallen in love...
81
00:04:17,728 --> 00:04:19,828
like a gazillion times.
82
00:04:19,830 --> 00:04:21,696
He says he's a romantic.
83
00:04:21,698 --> 00:04:23,297
- Look.
- Jimmy?
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00:04:23,299 --> 00:04:25,299
There he goes again.
85
00:04:25,301 --> 00:04:27,835
Jimmy? Jimmy, you there?
86
00:04:27,837 --> 00:04:30,304
Sorry, what? Sorry, where was I?
87
00:04:30,306 --> 00:04:32,073
Having your suspicions confirmed.
88
00:04:32,075 --> 00:04:35,176
Right, confirming my suspicion
that people who write serious...
89
00:04:35,178 --> 00:04:38,647
novels have a relatively
small pot to piss in.
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00:04:38,649 --> 00:04:39,982
Which is why this fucking
prenup is a whole...
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00:04:39,984 --> 00:04:41,349
Dad!
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00:04:41,351 --> 00:04:42,850
- Hey, honey!
- Hi, Dad.
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00:04:42,852 --> 00:04:44,885
Your bus was very late.
94
00:04:44,887 --> 00:04:47,823
Yeah, I know. I was on
it. Dad, this is Pink.
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00:04:47,825 --> 00:04:50,958
- Pink?
- Hey, dude.
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00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,861
She's coming with us for the weekend.
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00:04:53,863 --> 00:04:56,097
Well, honey, it's kind
of a special weekend...
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00:04:56,099 --> 00:04:57,366
don't you think?
99
00:04:57,368 --> 00:04:58,833
Well, I brought a friend
to her last wedding.
100
00:04:58,835 --> 00:05:00,167
But you were five.
101
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:01,402
I brought a friend at your last wedding.
102
00:05:01,404 --> 00:05:03,304
Thanks, babe.
103
00:05:03,306 --> 00:05:05,373
Please, I finally erased that
whole debacle from my memory.
104
00:05:05,375 --> 00:05:06,974
Where's the car?
105
00:05:06,976 --> 00:05:08,880
- Right there.
- Come on.
106
00:05:09,979 --> 00:05:11,746
Hello?
107
00:05:11,748 --> 00:05:12,847
Where the hell's Ethan?
108
00:05:15,818 --> 00:05:17,818
My Uncle Ethan says...
109
00:05:17,820 --> 00:05:19,957
he's never getting married.
110
00:05:22,092 --> 00:05:24,628
Oh! Fuck, my god!
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00:05:27,063 --> 00:05:28,696
He says, why would he...
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00:05:28,698 --> 00:05:30,665
with all the interesting people...
113
00:05:30,667 --> 00:05:32,734
he meets on social media these days?
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00:05:32,736 --> 00:05:34,706
Good boy, Yoyo. Good boy.
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00:05:36,407 --> 00:05:40,676
Oh, hey, Guy. Yeah. You
heard the new tracks?
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00:05:40,678 --> 00:05:42,844
Okay, so I'm gonna have
the number one album...
117
00:05:42,846 --> 00:05:44,046
and the number one tour...
118
00:05:44,048 --> 00:05:45,147
if you pull your finger out of your ass.
119
00:05:45,149 --> 00:05:47,318
Do your job. I want arenas.
120
00:05:48,419 --> 00:05:51,085
- Oh, honey, look, look.
- No.
121
00:05:51,087 --> 00:05:52,386
- Mom, please!
- Yes, yes, yes.
122
00:05:52,388 --> 00:05:55,157
Hey, can you pull over?
Yes, yes, right here.
123
00:05:55,159 --> 00:05:57,059
The problem is that when...
124
00:05:57,061 --> 00:05:59,960
it comes to relationships,
examples have to be set.
125
00:05:59,962 --> 00:06:02,364
But in my case, the
adults setting them...
126
00:06:02,366 --> 00:06:06,671
are quite possibly the
worst examples known to man.
127
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,840
Mom, Mom, that slope
near the boathouse...
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00:06:11,842 --> 00:06:15,042
somebody's gonna go ass over
backwards into a lawsuit.
129
00:06:15,044 --> 00:06:17,878
Well, it leads down to the lake.
I don't want to board it up.
130
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,847
Well, can we at least
put up a couple of signs?
131
00:06:19,849 --> 00:06:23,852
Al, could you make up a
couple of signs that say...
132
00:06:23,854 --> 00:06:25,152
"Beware of Steep Slope"?
133
00:06:25,154 --> 00:06:26,987
- A sign?
- Hello.
134
00:06:26,989 --> 00:06:28,222
- Yeah, a sign's gonna save us...
- Oh, you're here.
135
00:06:28,224 --> 00:06:29,724
a million dollars if someone falls...
136
00:06:29,726 --> 00:06:31,328
- We're in here, Mom!
- Hi.
137
00:06:32,428 --> 00:06:34,162
Sam.
138
00:06:34,164 --> 00:06:35,897
Oh... Sam can't pass a
vintage clothing store...
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00:06:35,899 --> 00:06:37,164
without begging me to stop.
140
00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:38,368
- Hello, darling.
- What's up, buddy?
141
00:06:40,738 --> 00:06:43,071
Oh, that's for you. Come sit down.
142
00:06:43,073 --> 00:06:44,840
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
143
00:06:44,842 --> 00:06:46,241
Sam, just do what I do.
144
00:06:46,243 --> 00:06:48,075
I donate all the clothes Mom gives me.
145
00:06:48,077 --> 00:06:51,479
I think your mother has
a charming fashion sense.
146
00:06:51,481 --> 00:06:52,780
So do I.
147
00:06:52,782 --> 00:06:54,482
- This is lovely.
- Yeah.
148
00:06:54,484 --> 00:06:58,052
Sam! Tell me, how is your father?
149
00:06:58,054 --> 00:06:59,955
He's in Miami.
150
00:06:59,957 --> 00:07:02,224
Yeah. Sebastian and I broke up.
151
00:07:02,226 --> 00:07:03,491
Why?
152
00:07:03,493 --> 00:07:05,359
Well, you know, it was either that...
153
00:07:05,361 --> 00:07:06,527
or I was gonna strangle him.
154
00:07:06,529 --> 00:07:08,265
Sure, the go-to options.
155
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:12,400
- So, Eve.
- Mm-hm.
156
00:07:12,402 --> 00:07:15,073
What can you tell us
about your first love?
157
00:07:19,176 --> 00:07:21,143
Oh.
158
00:07:21,145 --> 00:07:26,114
There was a beautiful boy, Cosmo.
159
00:07:26,116 --> 00:07:28,984
He was the reason I
joined the theater class...
160
00:07:28,986 --> 00:07:30,417
where I met Laurence.
161
00:07:30,419 --> 00:07:33,455
Of course, Cosmo wasn't
interested in girls.
162
00:07:33,457 --> 00:07:38,059
Yeah, duh. Of course,
his name is "Cosmo."
163
00:07:38,061 --> 00:07:42,463
All right, so what, your
first love was Laurence?
164
00:07:42,465 --> 00:07:46,001
I remember the first time
Laurence and I rehearsed.
165
00:07:46,003 --> 00:07:52,808
He looked at me with that
smoldering stare that he has.
166
00:07:52,810 --> 00:07:55,246
I mean, you know, you know the one.
167
00:07:56,380 --> 00:07:58,212
I know it well.
168
00:07:58,214 --> 00:08:03,184
And it was, "Goodbye
Cosmo..." "Hello Laurence."
169
00:08:13,830 --> 00:08:17,097
Now of course, Laurence
has had the career...
170
00:08:17,099 --> 00:08:20,368
every actor would dream of having...
171
00:08:20,370 --> 00:08:23,405
unless of course,
you're Laurence Darling.
172
00:08:23,407 --> 00:08:28,109
He's recognized as a great actor.
173
00:08:28,111 --> 00:08:32,246
I'm just a simple movie star.
174
00:08:32,248 --> 00:08:36,254
And he could find
that very annoying.
175
00:08:45,194 --> 00:08:46,527
Morning.
176
00:08:46,529 --> 00:08:48,131
Morning.
177
00:09:11,554 --> 00:09:14,255
- Boys, boys, boys.
- Dad!
178
00:09:14,257 --> 00:09:17,959
It's so good to see you.
Why isn't it more often?
179
00:09:17,961 --> 00:09:19,994
Probably 'cause you never
return any of our calls.
180
00:09:19,996 --> 00:09:21,263
Dad, Dad, Dad.
181
00:09:21,265 --> 00:09:23,531
It was a rhetorical question, James.
182
00:09:23,533 --> 00:09:26,433
We all have such busy lives now.
183
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:28,202
Laurence.
184
00:09:28,204 --> 00:09:30,939
- The Lady Eve.
- How are you?
185
00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:32,910
I am grand.
186
00:09:34,377 --> 00:09:38,046
I have come to see you off again.
187
00:09:38,048 --> 00:09:40,514
Maybe we'll get it right this time.
188
00:09:40,516 --> 00:09:42,484
That's why I'm here,
to make sure that...
189
00:09:42,486 --> 00:09:44,351
this one is a keeper.
190
00:09:44,353 --> 00:09:46,086
You are so thoughtful...
191
00:09:46,088 --> 00:09:48,623
as if you'd have any
idea what a keeper was.
192
00:09:48,625 --> 00:09:50,392
Laurence!
193
00:09:50,394 --> 00:09:53,695
I'm sensing a theme here.
194
00:09:53,697 --> 00:09:56,431
Are all the exes invited?
195
00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:58,365
Just the ones Mom likes.
196
00:09:58,367 --> 00:09:59,700
And they're still alive.
197
00:09:59,702 --> 00:10:03,003
Well, I'm glad I still qualify.
198
00:10:03,005 --> 00:10:05,205
Has the great man arrived?
199
00:10:05,207 --> 00:10:10,077
Not yet. His sense of timing's
even better than yours.
200
00:10:10,079 --> 00:10:12,349
Upstaged again?
201
00:10:18,154 --> 00:10:20,622
Bad girls?
202
00:10:20,624 --> 00:10:23,490
Right. Bad Girls, Bad Girls...
203
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:26,393
Dad, come on. It was
one of her biggest hits.
204
00:10:26,395 --> 00:10:28,162
Oh yeah, got it.
205
00:10:28,164 --> 00:10:32,533
Eve steals into a prison...
an Indonesian prison...
206
00:10:32,535 --> 00:10:35,136
to save her daughter, who's
wrongly accused of murder.
207
00:10:35,138 --> 00:10:37,504
Okay, and, it ends?
208
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:38,943
Oh, fuck...
209
00:10:40,177 --> 00:10:44,311
Hang on, just a minute. Oh. Yes.
210
00:10:44,313 --> 00:10:48,082
It turns out, the
daughter actually did it...
211
00:10:48,084 --> 00:10:50,151
but Eve takes her place
on the scaffold anyway.
212
00:10:50,153 --> 00:10:52,354
Actually, it's a rip-off
of Tale of Two Cities.
213
00:10:52,356 --> 00:10:54,189
Dad, I think it's very romantic...
214
00:10:54,191 --> 00:10:56,691
that you're going to all this effort.
215
00:10:56,693 --> 00:10:58,359
Thank you, Clemmie.
216
00:10:58,361 --> 00:11:02,433
Romantic? He's an absolute
bloody miracle.
217
00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:21,351
Dad?
218
00:11:23,352 --> 00:11:25,021
Dad.
219
00:11:26,222 --> 00:11:27,591
I'm sorry.
220
00:11:41,237 --> 00:11:42,640
It's a big day here.
221
00:11:44,408 --> 00:11:47,108
- Waiting for Harold.
- It's a very good day.
222
00:11:47,110 --> 00:11:49,310
Harold, man. Oh.
223
00:11:49,312 --> 00:11:51,579
Mum. Mummy.
224
00:11:51,581 --> 00:11:53,114
Hey, hey, hey.
225
00:11:53,116 --> 00:11:55,749
Here they come. Here they come.
226
00:11:55,751 --> 00:11:57,218
Oh, he's goin' around the wrong way.
227
00:12:00,289 --> 00:12:03,391
All right, everyone, behave, behave.
228
00:12:03,393 --> 00:12:05,359
Our new family.
229
00:12:05,361 --> 00:12:06,563
Four.
230
00:12:07,630 --> 00:12:11,101
Welcome! Welcome!
231
00:12:12,468 --> 00:12:14,571
And there's number five.
232
00:12:16,706 --> 00:12:19,243
Oh. Right!
233
00:12:20,274 --> 00:12:21,075
This is my daughter, Clemmie.
234
00:12:21,077 --> 00:12:22,710
- Hello, Clemmie...
- Hi.
235
00:12:22,712 --> 00:12:24,079
- I've heard so much about you.
- Lovely to meet you.
236
00:12:24,081 --> 00:12:25,245
- My daughter, Rose.
- Hi.
237
00:12:25,247 --> 00:12:27,282
Rose, yes.
238
00:12:27,284 --> 00:12:30,851
And this is Rose's friend,
and almost third daughter...
239
00:12:30,853 --> 00:12:33,455
- Saffron.
- Hello.
240
00:12:33,457 --> 00:12:34,822
- Come meet my family.
- Yeah.
241
00:12:34,824 --> 00:12:36,457
- There's Jimmy, my oldest.
- Hey, Jimmy.
242
00:12:36,459 --> 00:12:37,558
- James.
- James.
243
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:38,659
- And then Rory.
- How are ya?
244
00:12:38,661 --> 00:12:39,827
- Hi, Rory.
- Ethan.
245
00:12:39,829 --> 00:12:41,229
Yeah, Ethan.
246
00:12:41,231 --> 00:12:42,663
Back there with the camera is Mackenzie.
247
00:12:42,665 --> 00:12:44,231
- Hi, Mackenzie.
- Whose mother is Priscilla...
248
00:12:44,233 --> 00:12:45,633
- who was married to Rory.
- Priscilla.
249
00:12:45,635 --> 00:12:48,636
And here's Sam.
250
00:12:48,638 --> 00:12:52,340
You are doing...? Hi.
251
00:12:52,342 --> 00:12:53,740
My daughter, Mackenzie.
252
00:12:53,742 --> 00:12:55,476
- We got Lara.
- Hi, Mackenzie.
253
00:12:55,478 --> 00:12:58,213
- Hi, Mackenzie. Nice to see you.
- Hi.
254
00:12:58,215 --> 00:13:01,349
My nephew, Dylan, my brother's son...
255
00:13:01,351 --> 00:13:03,317
who sadly couldn't be here.
256
00:13:03,319 --> 00:13:04,652
- And.
- You're who?
257
00:13:04,654 --> 00:13:05,854
- Dylan.
- Dylan, hi.
258
00:13:05,856 --> 00:13:09,657
And, Laurence, the father of my sons.
259
00:13:09,659 --> 00:13:12,393
And Husband Number One,
what a great pleasure.
260
00:13:12,395 --> 00:13:13,862
I am a big fan.
261
00:13:13,864 --> 00:13:16,431
The pleasure is all mine.
I'm a bigger fan.
262
00:13:17,766 --> 00:13:19,433
So you guys are in here.
263
00:13:19,435 --> 00:13:21,235
Oh, thank you very much.
264
00:13:21,237 --> 00:13:22,737
According to Wikipedia...
265
00:13:22,739 --> 00:13:25,672
"Harold Alcott writes
novels about love...
266
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:28,308
"that are tragically comedic."
267
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:31,879
Which means, he's gonna fit
right in with this family.
268
00:13:31,881 --> 00:13:33,248
I missed you.
269
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,715
Well, that's your fault.
270
00:13:34,717 --> 00:13:36,216
It's because you have
so many books to pack.
271
00:13:36,218 --> 00:13:37,652
Well, I'm a writer.
272
00:13:37,654 --> 00:13:39,487
Just as long as you have that book...
273
00:13:39,489 --> 00:13:41,156
with the pictures that we like.
274
00:13:41,158 --> 00:13:42,657
Oh...
275
00:13:42,659 --> 00:13:46,628
the Pompeian Bathhouses,
yeah, those saucy Romans.
276
00:13:46,630 --> 00:13:49,100
- I brought it in my hand luggage.
- Mm.
277
00:13:50,866 --> 00:13:54,337
Get out. Stop it...
278
00:13:56,472 --> 00:13:58,873
Oh.
279
00:13:58,875 --> 00:14:01,875
Did the cat get the cream?
280
00:14:01,877 --> 00:14:03,411
What cream?
281
00:14:03,413 --> 00:14:04,612
Silver Fox.
282
00:14:04,614 --> 00:14:06,446
Major hottie... for an old guy.
283
00:14:06,448 --> 00:14:09,316
Oh, you know, hang on here, you guys.
284
00:14:09,318 --> 00:14:12,387
You make me sound so...
so superficial...
285
00:14:12,389 --> 00:14:15,889
like it's all about his granted
good looks, and not about his...
286
00:14:15,891 --> 00:14:18,496
big
whoopee-doo-doo.
287
00:14:20,597 --> 00:14:22,763
Do I really have to hear this?
288
00:14:22,765 --> 00:14:24,532
Did I wanna hear
about you and Priscilla...
289
00:14:24,534 --> 00:14:25,867
and the best sex of all time?
290
00:14:25,869 --> 00:14:27,234
Hey, hey, hey!
291
00:14:27,236 --> 00:14:28,936
I never said that.
292
00:14:28,938 --> 00:14:30,571
- Really?
- Really?
293
00:14:30,573 --> 00:14:33,508
Do not repeat that to Mackenzie. Do not!
294
00:14:33,510 --> 00:14:35,576
It wasn't the greatest sex of my life...
295
00:14:35,578 --> 00:14:38,312
it was the greatest sex of his.
296
00:14:38,314 --> 00:14:40,150
Seriously?
297
00:14:45,454 --> 00:14:46,890
Hello?
298
00:14:48,324 --> 00:14:49,791
Hello? Hi, yes.
299
00:14:49,793 --> 00:14:52,793
I'm trying to track down
an employee of yours.
300
00:14:52,795 --> 00:14:57,264
She drove the Montauk bus
yesterday that arrived at 11:45.
301
00:14:57,266 --> 00:14:58,966
Actually, I say it arrived at 11:45...
302
00:14:58,968 --> 00:15:01,668
but in point-in-fact,
it was very, very late.
303
00:15:01,670 --> 00:15:05,706
Why do I wish to contact her?
Is that any business of yours?
304
00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:09,380
I mean, I could be an estate attorney.
305
00:15:12,816 --> 00:15:15,516
So, what does marriage mean to you?
306
00:15:15,518 --> 00:15:17,985
What's your experience with that?
307
00:15:19,456 --> 00:15:23,825
Uh... well...
308
00:15:23,827 --> 00:15:26,927
my parents fighting...
people getting divorced.
309
00:15:26,929 --> 00:15:28,863
Whoa, okay.
310
00:15:28,865 --> 00:15:32,536
You're being a little bit of a
Debbie Downer here. All right?
311
00:15:36,673 --> 00:15:39,806
What about first love?
312
00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:42,844
What's your experience with that?
313
00:15:42,846 --> 00:15:44,615
First love?
314
00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:48,682
Let me give that some thought.
315
00:15:48,684 --> 00:15:51,451
Dylan! Dylan, I'm still filming!
316
00:15:55,858 --> 00:15:57,624
Dylan.
317
00:15:57,626 --> 00:15:59,994
Girls, you know that crazy,
warm sensation you get...
318
00:15:59,996 --> 00:16:03,431
when you cross your legs
and squeeze really tight?
319
00:16:03,433 --> 00:16:04,831
Well, the first time I had that...
320
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:08,603
the weirdo in me
was thinking about Dylan.
321
00:16:08,605 --> 00:16:11,004
But, what would, of course,
get tongues wagging...
322
00:16:11,006 --> 00:16:16,610
around these parts is
that, Dylan and I are...
323
00:16:16,612 --> 00:16:18,912
technically first cousins.
324
00:16:18,914 --> 00:16:20,782
But first cousins once-removed.
325
00:16:20,784 --> 00:16:23,884
So, there's like a 3% chance
our kids would have like...
326
00:16:23,886 --> 00:16:25,686
15 fingers and three eyes.
327
00:16:30,559 --> 00:16:34,394
Okay, the first love
question was a bit leading...
328
00:16:34,396 --> 00:16:36,864
as Dylan and I have already kissed.
329
00:16:36,866 --> 00:16:41,438
But, it was last summer and
I haven't even seen him since.
330
00:16:42,905 --> 00:16:45,875
Anyway, it raises that age-old question.
331
00:16:47,476 --> 00:16:50,644
You know, can you ever go back?
332
00:16:50,646 --> 00:16:52,479
That's exactly what I was thinking.
333
00:16:52,481 --> 00:16:54,514
Though, I think maybe
a couple more here...
334
00:16:54,516 --> 00:16:55,983
possibly another hydrangea?
335
00:16:55,985 --> 00:16:57,988
I think that'd be very nice.
336
00:17:00,055 --> 00:17:03,123
The last thing I would call
either of us is selfish.
337
00:17:03,125 --> 00:17:06,594
In fact, the term "generous
to a fault" springs to mind.
338
00:17:06,596 --> 00:17:10,465
But in this instance, I
suggest we put it to the vote...
339
00:17:10,467 --> 00:17:14,101
to keep our one solitary
decanter of liquid nectar...
340
00:17:14,103 --> 00:17:17,638
a secret from the "vin
ordinaire" drinkers...
341
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:21,908
and rendezvous back here
après le diner.
342
00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:24,712
I second that motion and say, "Aye."
343
00:17:24,714 --> 00:17:26,481
"Aye."
344
00:17:26,483 --> 00:17:28,786
Harold and I will meet you back here.
345
00:17:31,487 --> 00:17:34,021
Yes, Harold.
346
00:17:34,023 --> 00:17:36,491
He's a fine wine man, is he?
347
00:18:43,826 --> 00:18:44,861
Hey.
348
00:18:46,028 --> 00:18:47,430
Hey.
349
00:19:22,998 --> 00:19:25,131
Ciao.
350
00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:27,167
Sorry, Grandma.
351
00:19:27,169 --> 00:19:29,102
It will probably surprise you...
352
00:19:29,104 --> 00:19:31,238
to learn that Ethan
speaks five languages...
353
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,939
Portuguese among them.
354
00:19:32,941 --> 00:19:35,076
So, he understood every word...
355
00:19:35,078 --> 00:19:37,911
of Saffron's phone call
to her quote "Grandma"...
356
00:19:37,913 --> 00:19:40,781
and explains the grin
she was referring to.
357
00:19:40,783 --> 00:19:42,516
How 'bout we go on a little ride?
358
00:19:42,518 --> 00:19:45,586
I got some delicious
magic mushroom chocolates.
359
00:19:45,588 --> 00:19:46,821
You up for it?
360
00:19:46,823 --> 00:19:49,159
Mm, very naughty.
361
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:58,901
Half will get ya really high, easy.
362
00:20:02,138 --> 00:20:03,807
- Here.
- Mm.
363
00:20:08,878 --> 00:20:09,913
Ah!
364
00:20:18,153 --> 00:20:19,155
Whoo!
365
00:20:43,947 --> 00:20:45,812
To you.
366
00:20:45,814 --> 00:20:47,183
Cheers.
367
00:20:54,090 --> 00:20:57,628
Mm... ah.
368
00:21:00,263 --> 00:21:04,197
So, how's it going
with the young actress?
369
00:21:04,199 --> 00:21:08,069
Young is a relative term, she's 36.
370
00:21:08,071 --> 00:21:11,304
She went back to her boyfriend,
at my suggestion, of course.
371
00:21:11,306 --> 00:21:14,207
They're getting married.
Must be catching.
372
00:21:14,209 --> 00:21:16,712
I'll probably be
at that wedding, as well.
373
00:21:19,881 --> 00:21:21,884
Ah, so that leaves
a position to be filled.
374
00:21:23,186 --> 00:21:24,888
Hm.
375
00:21:26,188 --> 00:21:28,089
Already filled.
376
00:21:28,091 --> 00:21:33,226
So, tell me, am I giving
you away for good this time?
377
00:21:33,228 --> 00:21:35,795
Harold is an extraordinary man.
378
00:21:35,797 --> 00:21:39,699
That he is, but will he
understand your way of thinking?
379
00:21:39,701 --> 00:21:41,936
I don't think that way anymore.
380
00:21:41,938 --> 00:21:46,741
Fame, success, the flattery...
381
00:21:46,743 --> 00:21:48,109
I'll leave it all to you.
382
00:21:48,111 --> 00:21:51,244
Thank you. I'll take it.
383
00:21:51,246 --> 00:21:53,182
That's very generous of you.
384
00:21:56,886 --> 00:21:58,785
Eve didn't tell you I was coming, huh?
385
00:21:58,787 --> 00:22:00,687
Oh, I wonder why.
386
00:22:00,689 --> 00:22:03,189
Well, maybe she thought
you'd have a problem with it.
387
00:22:03,191 --> 00:22:04,324
- Oh, hey!
- What's up, guys?
388
00:22:04,326 --> 00:22:06,761
- Hey.
- Wear less!
389
00:22:06,763 --> 00:22:08,896
Okay, that happened.
390
00:22:08,898 --> 00:22:10,296
Look.
391
00:22:10,298 --> 00:22:12,667
A rock 'n roll tour is not a place...
392
00:22:12,669 --> 00:22:14,435
for a 16 year old girl, come on.
393
00:22:14,437 --> 00:22:15,770
Well, why don't you come?
394
00:22:15,772 --> 00:22:17,038
Oh, sure.
395
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,740
What, now that Sebastian
is no longer needed?
396
00:22:19,742 --> 00:22:20,840
Sure.
397
00:22:20,842 --> 00:22:22,243
- Oh, honey.
- What?
398
00:22:22,245 --> 00:22:25,245
- I think I'd rather be dead.
- Shit.
399
00:22:25,247 --> 00:22:27,217
- Okay, good night.
- Okay, good night.
400
00:23:13,830 --> 00:23:16,731
All right, now who's shaggable?
401
00:23:16,733 --> 00:23:20,967
I don't know,
I can't decide between the...
402
00:23:20,969 --> 00:23:23,105
beautiful 17 year old boy...
403
00:23:26,309 --> 00:23:30,110
Saff! Or, the naughty
30-something year old...
404
00:23:30,112 --> 00:23:32,048
that you were tarting
around with last night.
405
00:23:33,349 --> 00:23:35,916
He's much more up your alley.
406
00:23:35,918 --> 00:23:36,887
- Right.
- He's all yours.
407
00:23:38,019 --> 00:23:39,520
How 'bout you, Clem?
408
00:23:39,522 --> 00:23:43,491
Why would I tell you,
Tweedleslap and Tweedleslapper?
409
00:23:43,493 --> 00:23:45,896
- Oh my god!
- Come on, Clem!
410
00:23:49,865 --> 00:23:51,064
Dad.
411
00:23:51,066 --> 00:23:52,532
Yeah?
412
00:23:52,534 --> 00:23:56,369
Eve's one and only
Golden Globe was for, A...
413
00:23:56,371 --> 00:24:00,910
Loves of a Blonde, or B, Blonde Love?
414
00:24:02,311 --> 00:24:05,012
Uh, Loves of a Blonde.
415
00:24:05,014 --> 00:24:09,884
Wrong. It was actually for Blind Lover.
416
00:24:09,886 --> 00:24:12,889
That's a trick question.
That's not fair.
417
00:24:16,859 --> 00:24:18,324
An early wedding present.
418
00:24:18,326 --> 00:24:19,793
What is it?
419
00:24:19,795 --> 00:24:21,361
I got sent this the other day...
420
00:24:21,363 --> 00:24:23,863
and they want the two of us to
be in it playing mother and son.
421
00:24:23,865 --> 00:24:26,167
Oh, that's imaginative casting.
422
00:24:26,169 --> 00:24:27,368
It's actually a really good script.
423
00:24:27,370 --> 00:24:29,136
You should think about doing it.
424
00:24:29,138 --> 00:24:30,870
I'm in a wheelchair, you
end up in a wheelchair.
425
00:24:30,872 --> 00:24:33,174
Last scene is the two of
us dancing in wheelchairs.
426
00:24:33,176 --> 00:24:34,809
Lot of crying scenes.
427
00:24:34,811 --> 00:24:37,177
Really? I'm retired. You do it.
428
00:24:37,179 --> 00:24:40,380
- It's a both-or-nothing deal.
- Oh.
429
00:24:40,382 --> 00:24:42,983
- Will you at least read it?
- Oh, honey.
430
00:24:42,985 --> 00:24:46,186
Come on, on your honeymoon.
Gotta get out of bed sometime.
431
00:24:46,188 --> 00:24:47,955
- Bow-chicka-wawa.
- Oh, that is so bad.
432
00:24:47,957 --> 00:24:49,889
You are my son!
433
00:24:49,891 --> 00:24:51,859
- Where're you guys going?
- Venice.
434
00:24:51,861 --> 00:24:52,993
That's original.
435
00:24:52,995 --> 00:24:54,427
Well, it was Harold's idea.
436
00:24:54,429 --> 00:24:57,164
I didn't wanna start
off as a difficult wife.
437
00:24:57,166 --> 00:24:58,534
Then don't be a difficult mother.
438
00:25:05,908 --> 00:25:08,978
Okay. Eve and Harold's
wedding song, take one.
439
00:26:26,022 --> 00:26:28,321
I think it's very adult of
you to be this civilized.
440
00:26:28,323 --> 00:26:29,956
I mean, not everyone...
441
00:26:29,958 --> 00:26:32,392
would have their
ex-husband at their wedding.
442
00:26:32,394 --> 00:26:34,160
My mum would turn into The Exorcist...
443
00:26:34,162 --> 00:26:35,663
if Dad showed up at her wedding.
444
00:26:35,665 --> 00:26:37,363
Oh, god.
445
00:26:37,365 --> 00:26:40,400
Projectile green vomit.
Head 360. The whole thing.
446
00:26:40,402 --> 00:26:42,503
She still really hates him.
447
00:26:42,505 --> 00:26:44,605
Dare one ask why?
448
00:26:44,607 --> 00:26:48,509
Oh, well, as Dorothy Parker once said...
449
00:26:48,511 --> 00:26:51,177
"Hogamous, Higamous,
Man is polygamous..."
450
00:26:51,179 --> 00:26:53,515
"Higamous, Hogamous,
Woman is monogamous."
451
00:26:57,186 --> 00:26:59,520
I doubt Dorothy Parker
actually said that.
452
00:26:59,522 --> 00:27:02,055
Yes, it has a man's
fingerprints all over it.
453
00:27:02,057 --> 00:27:05,192
Yes, it sounds
suspiciously self-serving.
454
00:27:05,194 --> 00:27:07,160
You know, if it helps
explain anything, Rose...
455
00:27:07,162 --> 00:27:10,965
Mom and Dad here were like
the poster couple for divorce.
456
00:27:10,967 --> 00:27:13,000
Yeah, they gave each other
divorce gifts.
457
00:27:13,002 --> 00:27:15,069
Really? What?
458
00:27:15,071 --> 00:27:16,369
Oh, I've forgotten.
459
00:27:16,371 --> 00:27:18,171
Me, too.
460
00:27:18,173 --> 00:27:20,340
Actually, one time, Mom took the
three of us out of the country...
461
00:27:20,342 --> 00:27:22,676
for a vacation and she
didn't get Dad's permission.
462
00:27:22,678 --> 00:27:25,446
Dad waited patiently until
we got back, and then...
463
00:27:25,448 --> 00:27:28,581
had Mom arrested at the airport
and put in prison for the night.
464
00:27:28,583 --> 00:27:30,117
What a guy.
465
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:31,752
Character-building.
466
00:27:31,754 --> 00:27:33,486
And when Dad came back after
having been away working...
467
00:27:33,488 --> 00:27:35,155
for three months...
468
00:27:35,157 --> 00:27:37,358
he found that Mom had completely
redecorated the suite...
469
00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:38,625
and put it on the bill.
470
00:27:38,627 --> 00:27:41,130
Yes, it was much more cheerful.
471
00:28:00,115 --> 00:28:01,116
Hello, there!
472
00:28:07,390 --> 00:28:09,322
Hey! Ole!
473
00:28:09,324 --> 00:28:11,090
My best man!
474
00:28:20,503 --> 00:28:23,169
I just think we have to
make at least one attempt...
475
00:28:23,171 --> 00:28:26,139
to get Mom to do a prenup.
476
00:28:26,141 --> 00:28:29,142
I don't know. She's done
quite well for herself, so far.
477
00:28:29,144 --> 00:28:32,612
Yeah, but so far, all of
her husbands have had money.
478
00:28:32,614 --> 00:28:34,113
Except for you.
479
00:28:34,115 --> 00:28:35,417
- 'Course.
- Yeah.
480
00:28:47,063 --> 00:28:50,097
So what does true love
mean to you, Mother?
481
00:28:50,099 --> 00:28:52,099
True love?
482
00:28:52,101 --> 00:28:54,167
Um...
483
00:28:54,169 --> 00:28:59,473
Well, you know, if at first you
don't succeed, try, try again.
484
00:28:59,475 --> 00:29:02,141
Which is what I keep saying
about those songs, Mom.
485
00:29:02,143 --> 00:29:04,645
- What songs?
- Your new ones.
486
00:29:04,647 --> 00:29:06,480
What do you know, anyway?
487
00:29:06,482 --> 00:29:08,585
You sing along with Les Mis.
488
00:29:11,187 --> 00:29:16,126
Mommy is a rock goddess.
Mommy is a rock goddess.
489
00:29:22,230 --> 00:29:25,599
A couple of my novels that
were turned into films...
490
00:29:25,601 --> 00:29:29,535
sent me to bed with a bottle of scotch.
491
00:29:29,537 --> 00:29:33,607
Oh, well, that's where the films
I'm usually in these days...
492
00:29:33,609 --> 00:29:35,408
always send me.
493
00:29:35,410 --> 00:29:37,744
And why I'm in graceful retirement.
494
00:29:37,746 --> 00:29:40,880
Yeah. But that is such a pity, Eve.
495
00:29:40,882 --> 00:29:43,117
You played some great roles.
496
00:29:43,119 --> 00:29:44,685
Has she... she has.
497
00:29:44,687 --> 00:29:46,523
Harold has seen all my work.
498
00:29:49,158 --> 00:29:51,457
You've seen all of Eve's films?
499
00:29:51,459 --> 00:29:52,592
Yeah.
500
00:29:52,594 --> 00:29:54,227
Seriously?
501
00:29:54,229 --> 00:29:57,263
Uh, well you know, nearly all.
502
00:29:57,265 --> 00:30:01,603
And which performance
do you treasure the most?
503
00:30:03,872 --> 00:30:07,241
Well, I'd have to say...
504
00:30:07,243 --> 00:30:09,642
it was the first time
I saw you on screen.
505
00:30:09,644 --> 00:30:13,280
You were playing
a waitress in a diner...
506
00:30:13,282 --> 00:30:15,415
who kept getting the orders wrong.
507
00:30:15,417 --> 00:30:19,319
And you nearly killed this
poor guy who had a nut allergy.
508
00:30:19,321 --> 00:30:21,687
It was hilarious.
509
00:30:21,689 --> 00:30:25,658
Available Man.
Laurence got me that part.
510
00:30:25,660 --> 00:30:31,598
Yes, I also played the
guy with the nut allergy.
511
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,333
Though, that wasn't Eve's
first leading role...
512
00:30:34,335 --> 00:30:37,538
it was meant to be, anyways, supporting.
513
00:30:37,540 --> 00:30:39,505
Well obviously, yes.
514
00:30:39,507 --> 00:30:44,279
Um, in a leading role,
I would have to say...
515
00:30:46,681 --> 00:30:49,815
Bad Girls was very moving.
516
00:30:49,817 --> 00:30:55,691
Hm... hm... hm.
517
00:30:58,459 --> 00:30:59,792
Mm.
518
00:30:59,794 --> 00:31:01,395
Look, it doesn't have to be perfect.
519
00:31:01,397 --> 00:31:02,862
Just, can you get a
prenup here by tomorrow?
520
00:31:02,864 --> 00:31:05,898
Dance party!
521
00:31:05,900 --> 00:31:07,568
Here we go.
522
00:31:07,570 --> 00:31:08,605
Taking us down the road. Let's do it.
523
00:31:14,842 --> 00:31:17,147
Step, and down.
524
00:31:21,684 --> 00:31:22,785
Okay.
525
00:31:24,620 --> 00:31:26,653
Step, step, clap, clap.
526
00:31:26,655 --> 00:31:28,291
Work it, girl. Work it!
527
00:31:30,359 --> 00:31:31,792
Here we go. Here we go.
528
00:31:31,794 --> 00:31:34,427
- Oh, come on. You can get this!
- H'yah! Fuck off!
529
00:31:34,429 --> 00:31:36,365
- These are our tarts!
- Get outta here.
530
00:31:38,734 --> 00:31:40,169
Okay. Again.
531
00:31:45,006 --> 00:31:47,808
Do you really think
he's seen all your films?
532
00:31:47,810 --> 00:31:49,609
Of course not...
533
00:31:49,611 --> 00:31:52,311
but I think it's sweet
that he pretends he has.
534
00:31:52,313 --> 00:31:53,746
And you never miss it?
535
00:31:53,748 --> 00:31:55,485
Oh, god, no.
536
00:31:58,254 --> 00:32:00,920
We always did it for different reasons.
537
00:32:00,922 --> 00:32:02,688
We did?
538
00:32:02,690 --> 00:32:04,757
Yeah. You did it...
539
00:32:04,759 --> 00:32:06,994
well, you still do it for the work...
540
00:32:06,996 --> 00:32:08,762
for the challenge of the work...
541
00:32:08,764 --> 00:32:11,999
for the absences the work affords.
542
00:32:12,001 --> 00:32:14,434
I always thought of the family
as integral to my work...
543
00:32:14,436 --> 00:32:16,770
and you thought of it as
detrimental to your work.
544
00:32:16,772 --> 00:32:18,371
Did I?
545
00:32:18,373 --> 00:32:20,439
Well speaking about
mixing family and work...
546
00:32:20,441 --> 00:32:23,542
Ethan has this movie he
wants me to act in with him.
547
00:32:23,544 --> 00:32:26,280
Good part?
548
00:32:26,282 --> 00:32:28,451
A mother in a wheelchair, apparently.
549
00:32:30,785 --> 00:32:34,788
Do you think it could be changed
to a father in a wheelchair?
550
00:32:34,790 --> 00:32:39,326
Possible Oscar bait.
"He walks away with it."
551
00:32:39,328 --> 00:32:41,861
"I'm supporting."
552
00:32:41,863 --> 00:32:44,563
"I'm supporting."
553
00:32:44,565 --> 00:32:49,505
"We start out supporting
and we end up supporting."
554
00:33:15,964 --> 00:33:18,534
- Hi.
- Hola.
555
00:33:22,470 --> 00:33:24,370
My sister wants to know
where Harry Potter is.
556
00:33:24,372 --> 00:33:25,607
Who?
557
00:33:27,575 --> 00:33:29,475
That's Dylan.
558
00:33:29,477 --> 00:33:31,945
He's your boyfriend?
559
00:33:31,947 --> 00:33:33,815
He's my cousin.
560
00:33:40,389 --> 00:33:41,921
My sister says, "Oh, good."
561
00:33:41,923 --> 00:33:42,924
Good?
562
00:33:45,660 --> 00:33:47,994
Um, he's actually my first cousin...
563
00:33:47,996 --> 00:33:49,931
He's my first cousin once removed.
564
00:34:08,816 --> 00:34:11,450
- Hola.
- Hi.
565
00:34:11,452 --> 00:34:12,785
Como estas?
566
00:34:12,787 --> 00:34:13,954
Uh, I'm good.
567
00:34:13,956 --> 00:34:15,490
So, how old are you?
568
00:34:21,028 --> 00:34:23,129
Okay.
569
00:34:29,438 --> 00:34:30,903
Do you need some help?
570
00:34:30,905 --> 00:34:33,407
Sure.
571
00:34:33,409 --> 00:34:35,541
But first, I have to confess something.
572
00:34:35,543 --> 00:34:37,811
Okay.
573
00:34:37,813 --> 00:34:39,780
I had my first serious snog to...
574
00:34:39,782 --> 00:34:42,149
Up All Night In The Diner With Julie.
575
00:34:42,151 --> 00:34:43,582
"Snog."
576
00:34:43,584 --> 00:34:46,486
That's English for, "make out", right?
577
00:34:46,488 --> 00:34:48,722
Yes, but with lots and lots of tongue.
578
00:34:48,724 --> 00:34:53,193
All right, well, that was
a great choice to snog to.
579
00:34:53,195 --> 00:34:54,528
It was amazing.
580
00:34:54,530 --> 00:34:56,430
I'm glad to hear it.
581
00:34:56,432 --> 00:34:59,966
So, being a bit of a fan,
can I ask you three questions?
582
00:34:59,968 --> 00:35:03,035
All right. Go for it.
583
00:35:03,037 --> 00:35:05,407
Why did you stop writing?
584
00:35:09,043 --> 00:35:12,211
Who said I stopped?
585
00:35:12,213 --> 00:35:15,481
Right. Okay.
586
00:35:15,483 --> 00:35:17,483
Why did you leave your band?
587
00:35:17,485 --> 00:35:19,619
Oh, it was never really my band.
588
00:35:19,621 --> 00:35:20,921
It was our band.
589
00:35:20,923 --> 00:35:22,588
But, you know, you got a lead singer...
590
00:35:22,590 --> 00:35:23,957
with a huge personality.
591
00:35:23,959 --> 00:35:25,959
It was always gonna be
her band in the end.
592
00:35:25,961 --> 00:35:27,193
I mean, rightly so.
593
00:35:27,195 --> 00:35:28,663
And is that why you left?
594
00:35:30,798 --> 00:35:31,967
No, honestly, I...
595
00:35:34,068 --> 00:35:36,769
You know that whole rock
'n roll lifestyle thing...
596
00:35:36,771 --> 00:35:40,709
it just wasn't that important.
597
00:35:41,843 --> 00:35:43,742
No fame or money?
598
00:35:43,744 --> 00:35:48,450
No, it's not everything. I mean,
I figured that out pretty early.
599
00:35:50,985 --> 00:35:54,521
Okay, I have two questions.
600
00:35:54,523 --> 00:35:57,524
- Oh, really?
- Yes, I do.
601
00:35:57,526 --> 00:35:59,559
What is an Orange Prize?
602
00:35:59,561 --> 00:36:03,562
- Oh my god, you googled me!
- No, please.
603
00:36:03,564 --> 00:36:06,265
No, Eve told me one of Harold's
daughters was a novelist...
604
00:36:06,267 --> 00:36:08,968
and it's obviously not Rose.
605
00:36:08,970 --> 00:36:12,071
She said the Orange Prize had been won.
606
00:36:12,073 --> 00:36:14,541
An Orange Prize is an award...
607
00:36:14,543 --> 00:36:16,209
they give to first-time
female authors...
608
00:36:16,211 --> 00:36:19,546
and I didn't win, I was shortlisted.
609
00:36:19,548 --> 00:36:22,782
Congratulations.
Was it autobiographical?
610
00:36:22,784 --> 00:36:24,084
Why do you ask that?
611
00:36:24,086 --> 00:36:28,088
Oh, come on,
it's about an older sister...
612
00:36:28,090 --> 00:36:30,823
who's kind of attractive
in a bookish kind of way...
613
00:36:30,825 --> 00:36:33,158
who lives with her hipster,
skirt-chasing dad and...
614
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:34,693
wild-child, younger sister...
615
00:36:34,695 --> 00:36:37,229
and they all live on red wine and pizza?
616
00:36:37,231 --> 00:36:38,564
You read it.
617
00:36:38,566 --> 00:36:39,865
Sure.
618
00:36:39,867 --> 00:36:42,535
Gotta check up on my new step family.
619
00:36:42,537 --> 00:36:45,604
Some of it was me, yeah,
but most of it wasn't.
620
00:36:45,606 --> 00:36:47,774
I can't actually cook a Chicken Kiev.
621
00:36:47,776 --> 00:36:49,041
Not a problem.
622
00:36:49,043 --> 00:36:50,644
But I do like books.
623
00:36:50,646 --> 00:36:51,647
Obviously.
624
00:36:53,715 --> 00:36:56,216
Do you know, I would prefer if
you referred to me as kind of...
625
00:36:56,218 --> 00:36:58,785
sexy in a librarian
way, rather than bookish.
626
00:36:58,787 --> 00:37:00,053
Oh, you would prefer that, would you?
627
00:37:00,055 --> 00:37:01,187
- Yes.
- Well, you need glasses for...
628
00:37:01,189 --> 00:37:02,658
"sexy librarian."
629
00:37:15,604 --> 00:37:17,773
Soul patch.
630
00:37:19,608 --> 00:37:21,941
"Such duty as the subject
owes the prince,"...
631
00:37:21,943 --> 00:37:24,244
"Even such a woman
oweth to her husband;"...
632
00:37:24,246 --> 00:37:27,747
"And if she is froward,
peevish, sullen..."
633
00:37:27,749 --> 00:37:30,983
"sour and not obedient
to his honest will..."
634
00:37:30,985 --> 00:37:33,919
"What is she but a foul
contending rebel..."
635
00:37:33,921 --> 00:37:37,592
"And graceless traitor
to her loving lord?"
636
00:37:39,727 --> 00:37:41,997
I'm not just a fuckin' movie star.
637
00:37:44,131 --> 00:37:47,867
Yeah, it's Priscilla for
Guy. No, I don't wanna hold.
638
00:37:47,869 --> 00:37:49,336
I don't wanna hold, I don't wanna hold!
639
00:37:49,338 --> 00:37:51,707
Yeah. I wanna write a book.
640
00:37:54,175 --> 00:37:55,544
About me!
641
00:38:00,648 --> 00:38:02,816
You've never seen any of my films?
642
00:38:02,818 --> 00:38:04,283
I don't think so.
643
00:38:04,285 --> 00:38:06,720
Do you go to the theater?
644
00:38:06,722 --> 00:38:08,921
- What?
- Not if we can help it.
645
00:38:08,923 --> 00:38:12,658
Wait, hang on. Were you in
the last Sponge Bob film?
646
00:38:12,660 --> 00:38:14,126
I was, indeed.
647
00:38:14,128 --> 00:38:16,129
Oh my god! I love Sponge Bob!
648
00:38:16,131 --> 00:38:17,396
Oh, yeah?
649
00:38:17,398 --> 00:38:19,365
You actually used to
be quite good-looking.
650
00:38:19,367 --> 00:38:20,934
Put on some weight, though.
651
00:38:20,936 --> 00:38:22,167
Come on, Saffie, let's get a drinky.
652
00:38:22,169 --> 00:38:25,204
Actually, I've lost weight.
653
00:38:25,206 --> 00:38:26,640
What'd I miss?
654
00:38:26,642 --> 00:38:29,008
My whole career, apparently.
655
00:38:29,010 --> 00:38:30,809
- That's it. I'm moving out.
- What?
656
00:38:30,811 --> 00:38:32,312
You're killing me with
the secondhand smoke...
657
00:38:32,314 --> 00:38:33,847
and you don't even care.
658
00:38:33,849 --> 00:38:37,017
I do care! But you're not dead yet.
659
00:38:37,019 --> 00:38:41,187
Go, go over there and
have the fresh air. Go on.
660
00:38:41,189 --> 00:38:43,689
$50 says Dad brings up
his Tony at dinner.
661
00:38:43,691 --> 00:38:45,291
No way. $50 it's before the main course.
662
00:38:45,293 --> 00:38:46,925
$100 it's before the salad...
663
00:38:46,927 --> 00:38:48,961
and he got it for Pirandello's Henry IV.
664
00:38:48,963 --> 00:38:50,997
- That's bold.
- Watch and learn.
665
00:38:50,999 --> 00:38:53,298
- I'll take desert.
- All right, man.
666
00:38:53,300 --> 00:38:57,003
So wait-wait-wait, you guys
met in a jailhouse, for women?
667
00:38:57,005 --> 00:38:58,905
Yeah, it's actually a really
good way to meet people.
668
00:38:58,907 --> 00:38:59,874
Here we go, here we go.
669
00:39:02,177 --> 00:39:05,812
I, for one, would like to commend Eve...
670
00:39:05,814 --> 00:39:10,182
on her optimism and her perseverance...
671
00:39:10,184 --> 00:39:12,654
- and of course, her courage...
- Yeah.
672
00:39:14,456 --> 00:39:18,323
...in taking this plunge yet again.
673
00:39:18,325 --> 00:39:20,894
- Brave girl.
- I must say, I was surprised.
674
00:39:20,896 --> 00:39:24,898
In fact, I would have
wagered my Tony Award...
675
00:39:24,900 --> 00:39:26,198
for my performance...
676
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:30,003
- in Pirandello's Henry IV...
- Bastard.
677
00:39:30,005 --> 00:39:31,970
against the idea that you would ever...
678
00:39:31,972 --> 00:39:35,742
tread down this path again, my darling.
679
00:39:35,744 --> 00:39:39,445
But having met Harold, I think I get it.
680
00:39:39,447 --> 00:39:41,747
To Eve and Harold.
681
00:39:41,749 --> 00:39:43,483
To Eve and Harold.
682
00:39:43,485 --> 00:39:44,917
- Salut.
- Salut.
683
00:39:44,919 --> 00:39:46,155
Here you go.
684
00:39:51,258 --> 00:39:54,394
So, lovebirds, hey...
685
00:39:54,396 --> 00:39:59,231
I know it's customary to give
the gifts after the wedding...
686
00:39:59,233 --> 00:40:02,001
but I really wanna give you my gift now.
687
00:40:02,003 --> 00:40:03,236
- Right now.
- Sure.
688
00:40:03,238 --> 00:40:06,840
- Love it.
- Cheers.
689
00:40:31,265 --> 00:40:33,399
Woo!
690
00:41:04,398 --> 00:41:06,566
Woo!
691
00:41:10,005 --> 00:41:12,305
Wow!
692
00:41:26,555 --> 00:41:27,986
That's your daughter.
693
00:41:48,209 --> 00:41:51,343
Care to dance?
694
00:41:55,416 --> 00:41:57,015
Fuck off.
695
00:42:07,595 --> 00:42:09,394
Hello, this is James Darling.
696
00:42:09,396 --> 00:42:11,631
I called yesterday trying to
track down the young lady...
697
00:42:11,633 --> 00:42:16,468
who drove the Montauk bus,
that did not arrive at 11:45.
698
00:42:16,470 --> 00:42:19,405
And you asked me why I
wanted to contact her.
699
00:42:19,407 --> 00:42:23,008
And, well, the reason is...
700
00:42:23,010 --> 00:42:25,245
when I saw her...
701
00:42:25,247 --> 00:42:28,314
in her not-very-flattering
jitney uniform, by the way...
702
00:42:28,316 --> 00:42:33,887
when I saw her, the little
voice in my head said...
703
00:42:33,889 --> 00:42:36,289
"This is the one..."
704
00:42:36,291 --> 00:42:37,923
Fuck!
705
00:42:37,925 --> 00:42:40,526
- Easy, man. I'm not a horse.
- What happened?
706
00:42:40,528 --> 00:42:43,028
- Gentle.
- Jimmy?
707
00:42:43,030 --> 00:42:44,463
Jimmy?
708
00:42:44,465 --> 00:42:46,966
Oh.
709
00:42:46,968 --> 00:42:50,206
I fucking tripped over
the "Beware of Slope" sign.
710
00:42:54,276 --> 00:42:56,943
- Oh my god, that is too funny.
- All right, Mom.
711
00:42:56,945 --> 00:42:59,278
It's just a grade-one ankle sprain.
712
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:03,349
There's no sign of anterior
talofibular disruption.
713
00:43:03,351 --> 00:43:05,385
Really, that's your
professional diagnosis?
714
00:43:05,387 --> 00:43:07,120
It is, indeed, James.
715
00:43:07,122 --> 00:43:11,591
One of the great things
about acting on the stage...
716
00:43:11,593 --> 00:43:14,559
is that one gets to inhabit a role.
717
00:43:14,561 --> 00:43:16,629
And you might be aware...
718
00:43:16,631 --> 00:43:20,966
that I have rather
famously played a doctor.
719
00:43:20,968 --> 00:43:22,669
Doctor Doolittle?
720
00:43:22,671 --> 00:43:24,637
And your point is?
721
00:43:24,639 --> 00:43:28,441
You bandaged the leg of an
animatronic giraffe, singing...
722
00:43:28,443 --> 00:43:30,376
"If I could talk to the animals"?
723
00:43:30,378 --> 00:43:33,713
And I was complimented
on my technique...
724
00:43:33,715 --> 00:43:36,919
- by numerous physicians.
- Bravo.
725
00:43:39,454 --> 00:43:43,122
Actually, I would like to
compliment you, Laurence...
726
00:43:43,124 --> 00:43:46,291
on your very gracious toast.
727
00:43:46,293 --> 00:43:48,327
I meant every word I said.
728
00:43:48,329 --> 00:43:53,466
You are amazingly courageous,
amazingly tenacious...
729
00:43:53,468 --> 00:43:57,970
and amazingly naive.
730
00:43:57,972 --> 00:43:59,571
Said the ol' cynic.
731
00:43:59,573 --> 00:44:01,673
Come on, Laurence, what are
you still holding out for?
732
00:44:01,675 --> 00:44:03,142
I'm not holding out.
733
00:44:03,144 --> 00:44:06,745
I like my birdcage empty, thank you.
734
00:44:06,747 --> 00:44:11,483
Anyway, why would I want
a new wife and new family...
735
00:44:11,485 --> 00:44:14,988
when I already have the best ex-wife...
736
00:44:14,990 --> 00:44:18,358
and raised the most perfect
family any man could want?
737
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:19,992
Oh my god, Dad...
738
00:44:19,994 --> 00:44:22,562
you have lived in a hotel
suite for the last 30 years.
739
00:44:22,564 --> 00:44:24,363
With one fucking bedroom.
740
00:44:24,365 --> 00:44:26,434
When we wanted to see
you, we had to check in.
741
00:44:30,372 --> 00:44:33,506
I think marriage is
challenging, formidable...
742
00:44:33,508 --> 00:44:37,642
and to be taken very seriously...
743
00:44:37,644 --> 00:44:41,146
like a great heroic adventure.
744
00:44:41,148 --> 00:44:44,450
Captain Scott heading
off into the Antarctic.
745
00:44:44,452 --> 00:44:46,421
Does that make me the South Pole?
746
00:44:48,389 --> 00:44:51,726
Where I would be very
happy to plant my flag.
747
00:45:09,543 --> 00:45:11,312
Yeah!
748
00:45:23,624 --> 00:45:25,226
Look at this one!
749
00:45:40,441 --> 00:45:41,577
See ya.
750
00:45:47,148 --> 00:45:50,383
You did remember the birdcage.
751
00:45:50,385 --> 00:45:53,718
How could I forget, the
best piece of advice...
752
00:45:53,720 --> 00:45:56,354
an ex-wife ever gave to a man?
753
00:45:56,356 --> 00:45:57,692
"You can't lock me up."
754
00:45:59,293 --> 00:46:01,126
Lock you up?
755
00:46:01,128 --> 00:46:02,361
Yes.
756
00:46:02,363 --> 00:46:05,231
Oh, god.
757
00:46:05,233 --> 00:46:08,704
After all these years
and you had no clue.
758
00:46:09,871 --> 00:46:11,671
It's not about you.
759
00:46:11,673 --> 00:46:13,673
It's not? But I hate that.
760
00:46:13,675 --> 00:46:16,809
No, the birdcage was so you could...
761
00:46:16,811 --> 00:46:20,412
keep the next Mrs.
Darling from flying away.
762
00:46:20,414 --> 00:46:22,117
Like the first one did.
763
00:46:24,718 --> 00:46:26,551
- It was?
- Yes.
764
00:46:26,553 --> 00:46:29,155
No wait, I thought it
was because, you know...
765
00:46:29,157 --> 00:46:32,492
you can fly in, but then
if you wanted to fly out...
766
00:46:32,494 --> 00:46:34,696
you know, to meet up
with other roosters...
767
00:46:42,503 --> 00:46:45,171
Hello, my lady. Where's Saffron?
768
00:46:45,173 --> 00:46:46,742
Gone inside.
769
00:46:51,845 --> 00:46:53,879
Homemade chocolates?
770
00:46:53,881 --> 00:46:56,584
They're super-delicious,
and a lot of fun.
771
00:46:58,218 --> 00:47:00,253
What sort of fun?
772
00:47:00,255 --> 00:47:02,323
Let's just say they're
in the 'shroom family.
773
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:14,503
Wanna go for a moonlight ride?
774
00:47:18,338 --> 00:47:19,340
I'll go change.
775
00:47:29,184 --> 00:47:31,153
Do you know what's great about us?
776
00:47:32,787 --> 00:47:34,790
We've been through all the bad times.
777
00:47:36,724 --> 00:47:41,193
One of the benefits of being
apart so long is that...
778
00:47:41,195 --> 00:47:44,465
somebody else had to
take the knockout punches.
779
00:47:46,633 --> 00:47:50,436
And on that note, think I'll
have another drink. Anyone?
780
00:47:50,438 --> 00:47:53,472
No. I won't. I'm getting
married in the morning.
781
00:47:53,474 --> 00:47:55,575
I should think about going to bed.
782
00:47:55,577 --> 00:47:57,146
The night is young.
783
00:48:04,785 --> 00:48:09,488
Eve and Laurence have started
in on the merits of marriage.
784
00:48:09,490 --> 00:48:12,457
It's funny how they didn't have
that conversation 30 years ago.
785
00:48:12,459 --> 00:48:13,695
- Isn't it?
- Uh-huh.
786
00:48:31,945 --> 00:48:34,512
I think that's enough of that.
787
00:48:34,514 --> 00:48:35,616
All right.
788
00:48:48,829 --> 00:48:50,963
Fuck.
789
00:48:50,965 --> 00:48:52,700
Fuck, fuck.
790
00:49:00,008 --> 00:49:01,807
Have you ever thought
what might've happened...
791
00:49:01,809 --> 00:49:04,510
if you'd never gotten me that part?
792
00:49:04,512 --> 00:49:08,981
Yeah. I might've been
mentioned in one of the reviews.
793
00:49:08,983 --> 00:49:11,787
I meant, what might've happened with us.
794
00:49:13,755 --> 00:49:15,320
I don't know.
795
00:49:15,322 --> 00:49:17,356
Would it've been different? Probably.
796
00:49:17,358 --> 00:49:19,557
Would it've been better? I don't know.
797
00:49:19,559 --> 00:49:20,962
Better than this?
798
00:49:23,930 --> 00:49:26,934
What if Harold feels there's
no room for an ex-husband?
799
00:49:28,635 --> 00:49:30,836
There's always room.
800
00:49:30,838 --> 00:49:33,374
Ah, but maybe no more room for this.
801
00:49:37,577 --> 00:49:40,445
May I tempt you?
802
00:49:40,447 --> 00:49:43,484
I have a wedding dress to fit into.
803
00:49:49,557 --> 00:49:52,628
You're going to be the
most beautiful bride.
804
00:50:00,867 --> 00:50:01,969
Hm.
805
00:50:05,907 --> 00:50:08,573
Hey.
806
00:50:08,575 --> 00:50:10,910
You wanna bake a cake?
807
00:50:10,912 --> 00:50:12,044
Okay.
808
00:50:12,046 --> 00:50:13,982
Fantastic. Let's go. Come on!
809
00:50:17,418 --> 00:50:20,720
Woo!
810
00:50:20,722 --> 00:50:22,387
- You feel anything?
- Yeah!
811
00:50:22,389 --> 00:50:23,588
I feel...
812
00:50:23,590 --> 00:50:26,658
fucking... amazing!
813
00:50:26,660 --> 00:50:28,660
All right, I will chop the mint.
814
00:50:28,662 --> 00:50:32,997
You pick the tune. Music is important.
815
00:50:32,999 --> 00:50:35,066
So what're we actually
doing here, Gordon Ramsey?
816
00:50:35,068 --> 00:50:39,070
Are you familiar
with the chiffonade cut?
817
00:50:39,072 --> 00:50:41,008
No. What is it?
818
00:50:43,443 --> 00:50:46,579
Nice! Austrian Swing.
819
00:50:46,581 --> 00:50:49,481
Is that a lucky guess
or an excellent choice?
820
00:50:49,483 --> 00:50:50,883
No, it's not a lucky guess.
821
00:50:50,885 --> 00:50:52,617
- Really?
- Yeah.
822
00:50:52,619 --> 00:50:55,421
I spent two nights in a
soggy tent in Glastonbury...
823
00:50:55,423 --> 00:50:58,057
just so I could shake my
bum to these gentlemen.
824
00:50:58,059 --> 00:51:00,959
That's having the same effect
on my ass, too, right. Come here.
825
00:51:00,961 --> 00:51:03,662
Okay, the chiffonade cut, you need
a knife with a long, thin blade...
826
00:51:03,664 --> 00:51:06,599
and a handle that you
can hold like a sword.
827
00:51:06,601 --> 00:51:07,932
Right.
828
00:51:07,934 --> 00:51:10,135
You know, I read that list of things...
829
00:51:10,137 --> 00:51:11,736
that psychopaths are good at.
830
00:51:11,738 --> 00:51:14,740
And cooking is right up there
at the top.
831
00:51:14,742 --> 00:51:17,041
I'm almost afraid to ask
how good you are.
832
00:51:17,043 --> 00:51:19,644
Guy who taught me's got two
Michelin stars. Let's go.
833
00:51:19,646 --> 00:51:22,814
Oh my god,
you're Hannibal Bloody Lecter.
834
00:51:22,816 --> 00:51:23,985
Oh, hi.
835
00:51:26,621 --> 00:51:28,887
I was just on my way up to bed.
836
00:51:28,889 --> 00:51:30,458
Okay.
837
00:51:31,992 --> 00:51:33,361
Yeah... um...
838
00:51:35,963 --> 00:51:39,564
if you see Sam, will you send him up?
839
00:51:39,566 --> 00:51:40,901
Okay.
840
00:51:53,079 --> 00:51:55,013
- Good night.
- Good night.
841
00:51:55,015 --> 00:51:56,651
- Good night.
- Night.
842
00:52:03,457 --> 00:52:06,459
You know, I'm feeling
a little bushed myself.
843
00:52:06,461 --> 00:52:08,760
I think it's the jet lag.
844
00:52:08,762 --> 00:52:10,162
Are you sure?
845
00:52:10,164 --> 00:52:11,729
Yeah.
846
00:52:11,731 --> 00:52:14,733
- Really?
- Yeah.
847
00:52:14,735 --> 00:52:15,903
Sleep well.
848
00:52:19,072 --> 00:52:21,575
This is the best wine I've ever had.
849
00:52:24,010 --> 00:52:26,178
Normally it's an okay little winery...
850
00:52:26,180 --> 00:52:29,684
but 2009 knocked it out of the park.
851
00:52:33,053 --> 00:52:36,187
And, it goes deliciously
with these chocolates.
852
00:52:36,189 --> 00:52:37,858
Oh, thank you.
853
00:52:47,133 --> 00:52:48,102
Ah, you're making me dizzy.
854
00:52:55,041 --> 00:52:57,075
Be quiet!
855
00:52:57,077 --> 00:52:59,812
- My dad...
- You be quiet. My dad.
856
00:52:59,814 --> 00:53:01,116
Harold!
857
00:53:34,615 --> 00:53:36,685
I wasn't a very good husband.
858
00:53:38,919 --> 00:53:41,923
Or father, either, for that matter.
859
00:53:43,256 --> 00:53:45,193
Just couldn't say no...
860
00:53:46,827 --> 00:53:49,193
to the work...
861
00:53:49,195 --> 00:53:51,796
to the women...
862
00:53:51,798 --> 00:53:53,168
to life's pleasures.
863
00:53:57,271 --> 00:54:02,142
And marriage puts a stop
to all that, doesn't it?
864
00:54:03,276 --> 00:54:05,045
It does tend to, yes.
865
00:54:07,847 --> 00:54:10,783
"The cradle rocks above an abyss..."
866
00:54:10,785 --> 00:54:15,086
"and common sense tells
us that our existence..."
867
00:54:15,088 --> 00:54:17,323
"is but a brief crack of light..."
868
00:54:17,325 --> 00:54:20,358
"between two eternities of darkness".
869
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:22,196
Vladamir Nabakov.
870
00:54:27,802 --> 00:54:31,206
Our time in the light is nearly done.
871
00:54:33,374 --> 00:54:35,841
I sometimes wonder...
872
00:54:35,843 --> 00:54:39,945
if we should really be
saying no to anything...
873
00:54:39,947 --> 00:54:43,919
before we face the long night.
874
00:54:47,954 --> 00:54:51,559
So I'm making a collection
of face masks.
875
00:54:53,126 --> 00:54:54,859
What do you think?
876
00:54:54,861 --> 00:54:57,997
You've done this professionally, right?
877
00:54:57,999 --> 00:55:02,166
Well, I don't know, like I've
never actually been paid for it.
878
00:55:02,168 --> 00:55:06,805
So, I don't think you could
say that I'm a professional.
879
00:55:06,807 --> 00:55:09,341
But, I've done it like 50 times...
880
00:55:09,343 --> 00:55:12,080
and I've only lost two people.
881
00:55:13,814 --> 00:55:14,946
- Lost?
- Yeah.
882
00:55:14,948 --> 00:55:15,749
Wait a minute.
883
00:55:17,684 --> 00:55:21,088
The breathing part is a bit tricky.
884
00:55:23,356 --> 00:55:25,791
Okay.
885
00:55:25,793 --> 00:55:27,925
Stop.
886
00:55:27,927 --> 00:55:29,096
You're ticklish.
887
00:55:43,376 --> 00:55:45,179
Sorry, kid.
888
00:55:47,180 --> 00:55:49,316
What're you made of, rocks?
889
00:55:51,885 --> 00:55:54,288
All right, I can do this.
890
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,197
Okay. Okay. Okay.
891
00:56:18,244 --> 00:56:19,713
Did you lose something?
892
00:56:23,416 --> 00:56:25,185
Yeah, yeah, actually.
893
00:56:27,287 --> 00:56:30,421
The engagement ring
that you never gave back.
894
00:56:30,423 --> 00:56:31,789
Oh.
895
00:56:31,791 --> 00:56:33,291
Well it's not down there.
896
00:56:33,293 --> 00:56:35,426
- Really?
- No.
897
00:56:35,428 --> 00:56:37,032
Wanna check the other side?
898
00:56:43,269 --> 00:56:44,970
Okay, okay,
wait-wait-wait.
899
00:56:44,972 --> 00:56:48,307
Mackenzie can never,
ever, ever know about this.
900
00:56:48,309 --> 00:56:50,745
- Oh, god. Or Sam.
- Of course, of course.
901
00:56:53,747 --> 00:56:55,446
And Eve.
902
00:56:55,448 --> 00:56:58,052
- Don't tell your mother. Right?
- Oh, God, no. God, no, not...
903
00:57:00,488 --> 00:57:02,387
And you know, Laurence...
you know I love your father.
904
00:57:02,389 --> 00:57:04,189
- I do. I just...
- No-no-no.
905
00:57:04,191 --> 00:57:05,791
God, he's the most fucking
indiscreet person I know.
906
00:57:05,793 --> 00:57:06,992
Okay.
907
00:57:06,994 --> 00:57:08,327
- Oo!
- Oh, god. Oh, god.
908
00:57:08,329 --> 00:57:09,861
Okay, I'm here. Here we go.
909
00:57:09,863 --> 00:57:11,131
Just carry on.
910
00:57:35,488 --> 00:57:37,421
What?
911
00:57:37,423 --> 00:57:39,490
I don't know who's worse.
912
00:57:39,492 --> 00:57:41,729
You, for putting this on.
913
00:57:43,164 --> 00:57:46,101
Or you for watching this.
914
00:58:20,099 --> 00:58:22,436
It's hardly a comedy.
915
00:58:30,043 --> 00:58:32,109
My love!
916
00:58:32,111 --> 00:58:33,579
Yes?
917
00:58:33,581 --> 00:58:34,879
My love!
918
00:58:34,881 --> 00:58:36,881
Harold, are you drunk?
919
00:58:36,883 --> 00:58:40,419
I just had the most
smashing bottle of wine...
920
00:58:40,421 --> 00:58:43,354
with your smashing ex-husband...
921
00:58:43,356 --> 00:58:46,158
who I think is smashing, by the way.
922
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:48,994
Ah, well, I'm glad that's going so well.
923
00:58:48,996 --> 00:58:53,231
It is, but what's not going
well, my dearest, is us.
924
00:58:53,233 --> 00:58:54,365
Oh, yes?
925
00:58:54,367 --> 00:59:00,204
Yeah, I'm pining for you.
926
00:59:00,206 --> 00:59:06,178
How can you leave me to
languish on this moonlit night...
927
00:59:06,180 --> 00:59:10,249
alone in my bed, and you alone in yours?
928
00:59:10,251 --> 00:59:13,452
All right, Mr. Shakespeare, off you go.
929
00:59:13,454 --> 00:59:16,254
It's bad luck to sleep
together the night before.
930
00:59:16,256 --> 00:59:19,894
- But I...
- I'll bend the rules so far.
931
00:59:24,965 --> 00:59:26,501
That's your lot.
932
00:59:38,544 --> 00:59:41,849
I feel a lot of love about the things...
933
00:59:48,988 --> 00:59:51,155
Love is in the air.
934
00:59:51,157 --> 00:59:58,562
In the air. In the air,
love, in the air.
935
00:59:58,564 --> 01:00:00,034
The last one's up.
936
01:00:05,639 --> 01:00:07,374
Laurence, my sofa!
937
01:00:15,182 --> 01:00:17,651
It's just a teensy,
weensy bit of spillage.
938
01:00:20,287 --> 01:00:22,290
I'm gonna get another bottle.
939
01:00:38,271 --> 01:00:41,405
On the scale of bad ideas...
940
01:00:41,407 --> 01:00:44,542
where do you think this one is?
941
01:00:44,544 --> 01:00:48,579
I would say it's somewhere between...
942
01:00:48,581 --> 01:00:53,153
when I kissed George Michael,
thinking it was you...
943
01:00:55,122 --> 01:00:58,689
and you remember that time
I surprised you on tour?
944
01:00:58,691 --> 01:01:01,329
- Oh, yeah, that was bad.
- That was terrible.
945
01:01:03,229 --> 01:01:05,396
- Listen, I...
- Yeah, I...
946
01:01:05,398 --> 01:01:06,564
Mom!
947
01:01:06,566 --> 01:01:09,334
Fuck. Hey, will you turn the light out?
948
01:01:09,336 --> 01:01:11,169
Why?
949
01:01:11,171 --> 01:01:12,470
Mom!
950
01:01:12,472 --> 01:01:15,008
Okay, I'm gonna borrow this. Okay.
951
01:01:20,247 --> 01:01:21,646
What're you doing?
952
01:01:21,648 --> 01:01:23,582
I was just borrowing
a book. Why are you up?
953
01:01:23,584 --> 01:01:25,249
I had a nightmare.
954
01:01:25,251 --> 01:01:27,519
You were singing one of your new songs.
955
01:01:27,521 --> 01:01:29,720
Yeah, it's pretty sick
having your own blog, like...
956
01:01:29,722 --> 01:01:32,057
you can just post whatever you want.
957
01:01:32,059 --> 01:01:34,392
My mom or whoever can't
come on and be like...
958
01:01:34,394 --> 01:01:36,063
"You can't post that."
959
01:01:40,066 --> 01:01:43,501
Oh, whoop. My god, I do
not fuckin' believe that.
960
01:01:43,503 --> 01:01:45,336
- That is my phone.
- Who's the Boss?
961
01:01:45,338 --> 01:01:46,805
That's my phone.
962
01:01:46,807 --> 01:01:49,307
- Give that to me.
- It's the size of a fucking log.
963
01:01:49,309 --> 01:01:52,544
Saffie, that spanking could
do some serious damage.
964
01:01:52,546 --> 01:01:54,613
Get the fuck off of me!
965
01:01:54,615 --> 01:01:57,118
And don't you dare call
me Saffie, you nosey bitch.
966
01:02:00,053 --> 01:02:01,419
What?
967
01:02:27,081 --> 01:02:29,180
- That star over there.
- What is that?
968
01:02:29,182 --> 01:02:31,418
I don't know, is it? I'm asking you.
969
01:02:48,302 --> 01:02:51,338
Now who's the boss, Saffie? Slut!
970
01:03:07,186 --> 01:03:08,488
God!
971
01:03:26,305 --> 01:03:27,707
Yes!
972
01:04:12,352 --> 01:04:14,522
Fuck.
973
01:04:17,758 --> 01:04:19,660
Fuck.
974
01:04:35,776 --> 01:04:37,709
Aw, fuck!
975
01:04:37,711 --> 01:04:41,282
Fuck! Fuck!
976
01:05:15,414 --> 01:05:17,485
Oh my god.
977
01:05:22,322 --> 01:05:25,660
The sofa looks like
Gorbachev's forehead.
978
01:05:43,843 --> 01:05:45,345
Oh, god.
979
01:06:25,485 --> 01:06:27,686
I'm not gonna marry Harold.
980
01:06:27,688 --> 01:06:29,354
What? Why?
981
01:06:29,356 --> 01:06:33,091
I've been up all night, pacing around.
982
01:06:33,093 --> 01:06:36,361
What was I thinking,
getting married again?
983
01:06:36,363 --> 01:06:39,363
I have my family, the people
that've made the most of me.
984
01:06:39,365 --> 01:06:42,334
And you know what I realized?
985
01:06:42,336 --> 01:06:45,937
There is only so much
room in the ol' attic.
986
01:06:45,939 --> 01:06:48,409
Okay, sorry. You lost me.
987
01:06:49,508 --> 01:06:51,075
New people.
988
01:06:51,077 --> 01:06:54,012
All that baggage has to go somewhere.
989
01:06:54,014 --> 01:06:56,381
To make room, I'd have to
start rearranging everything...
990
01:06:56,383 --> 01:06:57,752
that's already up here.
991
01:07:00,387 --> 01:07:03,658
New or different doesn't
necessarily mean better.
992
01:07:07,394 --> 01:07:09,063
What am I gonna do?
993
01:07:11,965 --> 01:07:17,001
Well, we've been here before,
having similar conversations...
994
01:07:17,003 --> 01:07:20,905
normally after the
marriage has taken place.
995
01:07:20,907 --> 01:07:25,977
So, in a way, I suppose we
could say, we're making progress.
996
01:07:27,447 --> 01:07:28,883
Come in.
997
01:07:44,798 --> 01:07:47,664
It's disgusting! It's despicable!
998
01:07:47,666 --> 01:07:49,901
- It's embarrassing!
- What? What?
999
01:07:49,903 --> 01:07:53,738
How many other of my
friends have you shagged!
1000
01:07:53,740 --> 01:07:55,173
- Oh, not now...
- Tell me, Dad!
1001
01:07:55,175 --> 01:07:56,608
How many are there?
1002
01:07:56,610 --> 01:07:58,041
- Just tell me!
- What do you take me for?
1003
01:07:58,043 --> 01:08:01,381
What do you mean? A fucking pervert!
1004
01:08:02,416 --> 01:08:04,816
- Where is that...
- Rose.
1005
01:08:04,818 --> 01:08:07,117
Rose! Darling!
1006
01:08:07,119 --> 01:08:08,952
Where are you, bitch?
1007
01:08:08,954 --> 01:08:12,457
You fucking slut! I'm
gonna knock your head off!
1008
01:08:12,459 --> 01:08:15,593
Fucking my dad? What the
fuck is wrong with you?
1009
01:08:18,097 --> 01:08:21,533
Wow. This got more hits
than the piano-playing kitty.
1010
01:08:21,535 --> 01:08:24,535
What do we have here?
1011
01:08:24,537 --> 01:08:30,507
Looks like Harold... no,
"The Boss" and Saffie.
1012
01:08:30,509 --> 01:08:32,877
If I ever see her again,
I'm gonna kill her.
1013
01:08:32,879 --> 01:08:34,611
Although it is lucky that
she happened to be outside...
1014
01:08:34,613 --> 01:08:36,480
with her phone.
1015
01:08:36,482 --> 01:08:37,748
Pink's a blogger, Dad.
'Course she had her phone.
1016
01:08:37,750 --> 01:08:39,818
Oh my god...
1017
01:08:39,820 --> 01:08:41,618
I can't believe I'm getting this...
1018
01:08:41,620 --> 01:08:46,526
on camera right now. Oh,
yeah. "The Boss" is Harold.
1019
01:08:51,932 --> 01:08:53,765
Nice. That's awesome, Sam.
1020
01:08:53,767 --> 01:08:55,035
Good job, Sammy.
1021
01:09:00,639 --> 01:09:03,041
You knew, didn't you?
1022
01:09:03,043 --> 01:09:07,177
I wanted to come to see you,
but I was...
1023
01:09:07,179 --> 01:09:11,048
wondering if maybe by
now you had developed...
1024
01:09:11,050 --> 01:09:14,718
a spirit of wry realism...
1025
01:09:14,720 --> 01:09:17,721
with regards to "happily ever after."
1026
01:09:17,723 --> 01:09:19,524
"Wry realism"?
1027
01:09:19,526 --> 01:09:23,627
Yes, well, maybe you were
finally ready to live with...
1028
01:09:23,629 --> 01:09:25,663
bumpily ever after.
1029
01:09:25,665 --> 01:09:28,266
Bumpily ever after?
1030
01:09:28,268 --> 01:09:30,200
You think I'm making a mistake?
1031
01:09:30,202 --> 01:09:32,136
With Harold? No.
1032
01:09:32,138 --> 01:09:34,739
Harold's fine. I personally
have nothing against him.
1033
01:09:34,741 --> 01:09:37,876
But you deserve way, way better.
1034
01:09:37,878 --> 01:09:41,678
You deserve to be loved...
1035
01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:44,015
because you've always
been there to give love.
1036
01:09:44,017 --> 01:09:45,617
You deserve to be honored...
1037
01:09:45,619 --> 01:09:48,852
because you carried this family...
1038
01:09:48,854 --> 01:09:51,989
single-handedly on your shoulders.
1039
01:09:51,991 --> 01:09:56,026
And now it's your turn to take a ride.
1040
01:09:56,028 --> 01:10:00,064
My love, you spent the entire
night pacing back and forth...
1041
01:10:00,066 --> 01:10:03,066
in your jammies, and you
still look so damn cute.
1042
01:10:03,068 --> 01:10:06,703
And that deserves to be cherished.
1043
01:10:06,705 --> 01:10:08,641
And maybe it was no...
1044
01:10:11,177 --> 01:10:15,749
accident that Harold messed up last night.
1045
01:10:44,076 --> 01:10:46,012
Oh, Dad.
1046
01:10:47,880 --> 01:10:51,114
You've embarrassed us.
1047
01:10:51,116 --> 01:10:52,749
What you did...
1048
01:10:52,751 --> 01:10:57,223
it was just creepy in so many ways.
1049
01:10:58,924 --> 01:11:01,959
- You watched her grow up.
- I know.
1050
01:11:01,961 --> 01:11:04,328
She was Rose's best friend,
for God's sake!
1051
01:11:04,330 --> 01:11:08,632
I know. I never meant... it was...
1052
01:11:08,634 --> 01:11:10,968
I want... I just...
1053
01:11:10,970 --> 01:11:13,171
I packed up all my books.
1054
01:11:13,173 --> 01:11:17,775
I really wanted this to work.
1055
01:11:17,777 --> 01:11:20,848
Such a fucking idiot.
1056
01:11:22,081 --> 01:11:24,215
Yeah, you are.
1057
01:11:24,217 --> 01:11:27,851
I thought it was romantic.
1058
01:11:27,853 --> 01:11:29,953
I thought you'd finally found someone...
1059
01:11:29,955 --> 01:11:33,291
to spend the rest of your life with.
1060
01:11:33,293 --> 01:11:35,126
That you weren't gonna be alone.
1061
01:11:35,128 --> 01:11:37,060
I wasn't gonna have to worry about you...
1062
01:11:37,062 --> 01:11:38,796
living on cold pizza anymore.
1063
01:11:38,798 --> 01:11:41,802
Oh, darling,
that was not our relationship.
1064
01:11:45,170 --> 01:11:47,840
I thought you'd changed.
1065
01:11:49,041 --> 01:11:50,678
I'm so, so sorry.
1066
01:11:53,013 --> 01:11:55,683
- Come on...
- What am I gonna do?
1067
01:12:05,825 --> 01:12:08,860
Well, first of all...
1068
01:12:08,862 --> 01:12:11,899
I'm not the one you
should be apologizing to.
1069
01:12:13,433 --> 01:12:16,668
And then, we'll all go back to London...
1070
01:12:16,670 --> 01:12:20,171
and to the shame of you having
been caught having sex...
1071
01:12:20,173 --> 01:12:24,976
with a woman
nearly 40 years your junior.
1072
01:12:24,978 --> 01:12:27,444
And then you'll have to move to Italy...
1073
01:12:27,446 --> 01:12:30,351
where they don't have a
problem with that sort of thing.
1074
01:13:52,866 --> 01:13:57,802
I gather you've heard, I've
gone and ballsed this up.
1075
01:13:57,804 --> 01:13:59,403
My cue to exit.
1076
01:13:59,405 --> 01:14:02,942
No... you may as well stay.
1077
01:14:06,379 --> 01:14:10,448
Eve, I really wanted to be that man.
1078
01:14:10,450 --> 01:14:14,519
The best man, you know, for you!
1079
01:14:14,521 --> 01:14:18,922
You were so utterly...
1080
01:14:18,924 --> 01:14:23,261
fucking fabulous and gorgeous
and smart and charming.
1081
01:14:23,263 --> 01:14:26,564
And I thought I could change.
1082
01:14:26,566 --> 01:14:30,802
But it's just not me.
1083
01:14:30,804 --> 01:14:34,437
I'm so sorry that I have
caused you this humiliation.
1084
01:14:34,439 --> 01:14:38,879
I just wish I could have
it all directed at me.
1085
01:14:43,215 --> 01:14:45,084
Harold.
1086
01:14:47,085 --> 01:14:51,254
You might want
to think about growing up.
1087
01:14:51,256 --> 01:14:55,159
Chasing 25-year-olds
at your age...
1088
01:14:55,161 --> 01:14:58,029
it looks very sad.
1089
01:14:58,031 --> 01:15:00,163
I look like a swine.
1090
01:15:00,165 --> 01:15:04,168
Way more sad than that.
1091
01:15:04,170 --> 01:15:07,305
I am so fucked!
1092
01:15:07,307 --> 01:15:10,373
Harold, before you start
flagellating yourself...
1093
01:15:10,375 --> 01:15:13,310
like a monk, may I say something?
1094
01:15:13,312 --> 01:15:17,547
Eve is a fabulous woman.
She's a major catch.
1095
01:15:17,549 --> 01:15:20,918
And I'd say that sadly,
from experience...
1096
01:15:20,920 --> 01:15:23,520
you're the one who lost out here.
1097
01:15:23,522 --> 01:15:26,324
And, if it makes you feel any better...
1098
01:15:26,326 --> 01:15:29,560
the reason I'm here in
her bedroom is because...
1099
01:15:29,562 --> 01:15:33,029
she wanted to tell me
that she wasn't going...
1100
01:15:33,031 --> 01:15:37,200
through with the marriage,
and this was before...
1101
01:15:37,202 --> 01:15:40,971
you broke the internet with your...
1102
01:15:40,973 --> 01:15:44,844
Legends of the AARP vine.
1103
01:16:07,634 --> 01:16:09,633
Hey.
1104
01:16:09,635 --> 01:16:11,534
I'm so sorry.
1105
01:16:11,536 --> 01:16:13,270
You know what?
1106
01:16:13,272 --> 01:16:16,142
When it comes to apologizing
for parents who behave badly...
1107
01:16:17,576 --> 01:16:20,146
we are a family of world champs.
1108
01:16:23,415 --> 01:16:25,151
- Thank you.
- Sure.
1109
01:16:27,253 --> 01:16:31,254
I did not expect this
weekend to pan out like this.
1110
01:16:31,256 --> 01:16:33,291
No.
1111
01:16:33,293 --> 01:16:36,092
How is everybody?
1112
01:16:36,094 --> 01:16:38,930
Rose and Saffron aren't speaking.
1113
01:16:38,932 --> 01:16:41,265
I don't think they ever will again.
1114
01:16:41,267 --> 01:16:42,934
That bad, huh?
1115
01:16:42,936 --> 01:16:45,368
Well, not until
they both coincidentally...
1116
01:16:45,370 --> 01:16:48,174
have teenage children
in rehab in Minnesota.
1117
01:16:50,509 --> 01:16:52,178
How 'bout you?
1118
01:16:53,579 --> 01:16:57,080
I think I'm done trying
to worry everyone...
1119
01:16:57,082 --> 01:16:59,150
into making the right decision.
1120
01:16:59,152 --> 01:17:01,418
They always make the
same stupid decision...
1121
01:17:01,420 --> 01:17:03,620
they were going to anyway.
1122
01:17:03,622 --> 01:17:06,293
I think it's my turn to make
a stupid decision, actually.
1123
01:17:16,536 --> 01:17:18,368
I'm sorry, that was
really stupid, wasn't it...
1124
01:17:18,370 --> 01:17:20,106
No, no, no, no.
1125
01:17:22,709 --> 01:17:24,644
I can be way more stupid than that.
1126
01:17:39,759 --> 01:17:42,129
So how did you see this
weekend panning out?
1127
01:17:43,329 --> 01:17:46,532
Well, kinda like this.
1128
01:17:48,735 --> 01:17:50,269
And what gave you that impression?
1129
01:17:52,472 --> 01:17:54,675
How we chop mint.
1130
01:17:56,342 --> 01:17:58,245
We've got the same taste in music.
1131
01:17:59,679 --> 01:18:01,745
That is important.
1132
01:18:01,747 --> 01:18:04,080
Yes, it is.
1133
01:18:04,082 --> 01:18:06,350
And...
1134
01:18:06,352 --> 01:18:10,687
you got a whole lotta new
material for your next novel.
1135
01:18:10,689 --> 01:18:12,392
Oh yeah, masses.
1136
01:18:14,293 --> 01:18:15,728
You know what I think?
1137
01:18:17,330 --> 01:18:19,265
I think you should stay in New York...
1138
01:18:21,099 --> 01:18:24,271
and do a little research on
some of the American characters.
1139
01:18:27,773 --> 01:18:29,407
Well, I can think of one.
1140
01:18:29,409 --> 01:18:31,208
Okay.
1141
01:18:31,210 --> 01:18:35,445
But, I'm a little worried
that he wants to eat me...
1142
01:18:35,447 --> 01:18:38,718
with some fava beans and nice Chianti.
1143
01:18:40,253 --> 01:18:42,752
Look, I think
I oughtta tell you something.
1144
01:18:50,362 --> 01:18:53,396
You don't have to say
goodbye. Just jump in the car.
1145
01:18:53,398 --> 01:18:54,532
It's great to see you.
1146
01:18:54,534 --> 01:18:55,602
- Thank you so much.
- Bye.
1147
01:18:57,303 --> 01:18:59,305
Bye. Bye.
1148
01:19:15,088 --> 01:19:18,655
I have a lot of answering
to do, to all of you...
1149
01:19:18,657 --> 01:19:20,791
and I will.
1150
01:19:20,793 --> 01:19:24,160
But for now,
I want you to know...
1151
01:19:24,162 --> 01:19:26,797
that I'm so sorry for
having let you all down.
1152
01:19:26,799 --> 01:19:31,202
But, I promise you, we
will get over this...
1153
01:19:31,204 --> 01:19:33,236
and we will move forward,
together.
1154
01:19:33,238 --> 01:19:35,472
Yeah. Right, Dad.
1155
01:19:35,474 --> 01:19:37,274
I'm stopping off
in New York.
1156
01:19:37,276 --> 01:19:38,575
What?
1157
01:19:38,577 --> 01:19:41,311
Probably gonna stay
for a few months.
1158
01:19:41,313 --> 01:19:42,846
You two are on your own.
1159
01:19:42,848 --> 01:19:44,181
No, Clemmie.
1160
01:19:44,183 --> 01:19:47,454
You'll be fine. You'll be fine.
1161
01:19:51,691 --> 01:19:53,824
Mom...
1162
01:19:53,826 --> 01:19:57,461
if you sleep with your friend,
does it ruin the friendship?
1163
01:19:57,463 --> 01:20:00,730
- Oh, well, it never did for me.
- Really?
1164
01:20:00,732 --> 01:20:02,900
Yeah, but, I can count my
real friends on one hand.
1165
01:20:02,902 --> 01:20:06,270
I mean, actually I
don't even need one hand.
1166
01:20:06,272 --> 01:20:10,474
You know, the important part is...
1167
01:20:10,476 --> 01:20:13,877
not working
on staying friends afterwards.
1168
01:20:13,879 --> 01:20:17,347
That's what ruins it.
1169
01:20:17,349 --> 01:20:19,617
But you don't have to worry
about that, 'cause you know...
1170
01:20:19,619 --> 01:20:21,418
you're gonna have kids
with like 15 fingers.
1171
01:20:21,420 --> 01:20:22,619
- You're gonna have way bigger...
- Oh, my god.
1172
01:20:22,621 --> 01:20:24,254
things to worry about.
1173
01:20:24,256 --> 01:20:25,623
- Giant gloves.
- That's not...
1174
01:20:25,625 --> 01:20:27,690
- Maybe mittens.
- That's not even funny.
1175
01:20:27,692 --> 01:20:28,727
That's better, right?
1176
01:20:30,795 --> 01:20:32,262
All right.
1177
01:20:32,264 --> 01:20:34,364
I'm a good mommy.
1178
01:20:34,366 --> 01:20:35,900
- Yeah.
- I gotta go.
1179
01:20:35,902 --> 01:20:39,706
- Why?
- I gotta go call Sam's dad.
1180
01:20:40,805 --> 01:20:42,373
Okay.
1181
01:20:49,482 --> 01:20:52,119
Oh, god, I'm gonna have
to say something.
1182
01:21:09,402 --> 01:21:11,271
I'll do it.
1183
01:21:37,396 --> 01:21:41,899
Hello, everyone. I have
an announcement to make.
1184
01:21:41,901 --> 01:21:46,604
After much deliberation
and mature reflection...
1185
01:21:46,606 --> 01:21:48,439
by the parties in question...
1186
01:21:48,441 --> 01:21:51,641
it has been mutually decided...
1187
01:21:51,643 --> 01:21:54,511
that the advertised wedding...
1188
01:21:54,513 --> 01:21:56,614
will not be going forward.
1189
01:21:56,616 --> 01:22:01,385
Now, I know that's a
disappointment to everyone...
1190
01:22:01,387 --> 01:22:04,421
but, look at it this way...
1191
01:22:04,423 --> 01:22:09,763
at least we won't have to
have pasta afta the ballet.
1192
01:22:11,664 --> 01:22:13,867
Too soon. Very well.
1193
01:22:15,500 --> 01:22:16,702
Boys.
1194
01:22:19,304 --> 01:22:23,606
Boys, if you would, a clever
and imaginative toast, please?
1195
01:22:23,608 --> 01:22:25,342
To calling it off?
1196
01:22:25,344 --> 01:22:30,314
Well done. To Eve and
Harold for calling it off.
1197
01:22:30,316 --> 01:22:31,649
Cheers.
1198
01:22:31,651 --> 01:22:33,583
To Eve and Harold for calling it off.
1199
01:22:33,585 --> 01:22:37,620
However, Judge McCaffery is
here. Everything is set up.
1200
01:22:37,622 --> 01:22:40,757
Why not take advantage?
1201
01:22:40,759 --> 01:22:44,360
So would anyone like
to get married today?
1202
01:22:44,362 --> 01:22:46,497
Anybody at all? It's all on us.
1203
01:22:46,499 --> 01:22:51,001
Actually, it's on Eve,
because I'm incredibly cheap.
1204
01:22:51,003 --> 01:22:52,738
Anybody?
1205
01:22:54,839 --> 01:22:59,376
No, okay. Well, I have a suggestion.
1206
01:22:59,378 --> 01:23:01,712
Eve?
1207
01:23:01,714 --> 01:23:04,718
Eve, show yourself!
1208
01:23:18,363 --> 01:23:23,033
My dear, before another marriage
ends in divorce or death...
1209
01:23:23,035 --> 01:23:27,503
why don't we just cut to
the chase and tie the knot?
1210
01:23:28,674 --> 01:23:30,407
What?
1211
01:23:30,409 --> 01:23:33,077
I mean, if there is somebody
else you'd like to marry...
1212
01:23:33,079 --> 01:23:36,883
first, before you remarry
me, that's... that's fine.
1213
01:23:38,416 --> 01:23:39,917
Boys, what do you think?
1214
01:23:39,919 --> 01:23:41,017
You're on your own here, Dad.
1215
01:23:41,019 --> 01:23:42,819
Oh I definitely wanna hear this.
1216
01:23:42,821 --> 01:23:46,523
Mom, it's Dad, so, a prenup is a must.
1217
01:23:46,525 --> 01:23:49,062
Thanks, kids, you're out of the will.
1218
01:23:54,032 --> 01:23:58,368
Eve, I've done some
stupid things in my life.
1219
01:23:58,370 --> 01:24:02,708
But that was actually
the younger, dumber me.
1220
01:24:04,809 --> 01:24:08,378
I remember him well.
1221
01:24:08,380 --> 01:24:11,481
I constantly hear people say...
1222
01:24:11,483 --> 01:24:16,686
they're looking for the person
they wanna grow old with.
1223
01:24:16,688 --> 01:24:21,124
But we're here, now...
living it right now.
1224
01:24:21,126 --> 01:24:24,395
I wanna grow old with you.
1225
01:24:24,397 --> 01:24:27,965
I wanna spend
the rest of my life with you.
1226
01:24:27,967 --> 01:24:30,967
Will you be my wife?
1227
01:24:30,969 --> 01:24:33,039
Will you marry me?
1228
01:24:35,473 --> 01:24:39,075
Again?
1229
01:24:52,724 --> 01:24:54,858
Yes.
1230
01:25:08,706 --> 01:25:10,075
Come on down here.
1231
01:25:11,844 --> 01:25:13,446
I do.
1232
01:25:17,049 --> 01:25:19,986
Then I pronounce you man and wife.
1233
01:25:46,711 --> 01:25:49,613
All-in-all, I would have to
say, it was one of Eve's...
1234
01:25:49,615 --> 01:25:53,115
more entertaining
family get-togethers.
1235
01:25:53,117 --> 01:25:56,653
Laughter, tears, love, and sex.
1236
01:25:56,655 --> 01:25:58,855
Who could quibble?
1237
01:25:58,857 --> 01:26:01,123
Do you know where
your grandmother is?
1238
01:26:01,125 --> 01:26:03,726
Sorry, one second, I'll be right back...
1239
01:26:03,728 --> 01:26:05,962
I just wanted to show her something.
1240
01:26:05,964 --> 01:26:08,765
And, could you cut
the "grandmother" bit?
1241
01:26:08,767 --> 01:26:10,135
Otherwise, it's...
1242
01:26:16,976 --> 01:26:18,609
Actors.
1243
01:27:47,265 --> 01:27:49,166
Look at them.
1244
01:27:49,168 --> 01:27:51,001
Standing around the piano
like they're singing...
1245
01:27:51,003 --> 01:27:53,136
The Circle of Life...
1246
01:27:53,138 --> 01:27:56,138
when they're actually singing
a song about cheating.
1247
01:27:56,140 --> 01:27:58,108
See, I told you.
1248
01:27:58,110 --> 01:28:04,047
When it comes to my family,
love is just one big mystery.
1249
01:29:11,683 --> 01:29:13,652
Wait for it.
1250
01:29:16,254 --> 01:29:17,990
Wait.
1251
01:29:19,323 --> 01:29:21,094
Going.
1252
01:29:22,728 --> 01:29:24,230
Going.
1253
01:29:26,964 --> 01:29:28,668
Gone.
1254
01:29:36,942 --> 01:29:39,712
Almost dark.
1255
01:29:50,723 --> 01:29:51,821
There.
1256
01:29:55,202 --> 01:30:00,202
Subtitles by explosiveskull
1257
01:30:01,305 --> 01:30:07,291
www.fmsubs.com90304
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