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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:10,476 ( match lights ) 2 00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:16,248 Max: THERE'S A WAR GOING ON EVERY NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD. 3 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,384 ( dance music playing ) 4 00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:35,667 BOYS TRYING TO GET LAID. 5 00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:42,674 AND GIRLS TRYING TO GET PAID. 6 00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,043 ( cash register dings ) 7 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,051 NOW MOST BACHELOR PARTIES SUCK. 8 00:00:57,357 --> 00:01:00,059 IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF DRUNKEN DUDES 9 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,327 HUDDLED AROUND A SKANKY STRIPPER. 10 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:11,070 BUT THIS ONE WAS THE SHIT... 11 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,613 AND ALL BECAUSE OF THIS GUY-- JOHNNY EYELASH. 12 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:22,681 WHAT'S THE MATTER, SARAH? 13 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,383 MY SHOE BROKE. 14 00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:25,617 SARAH, HOLD ON, LOOK. 15 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:26,852 THERE YOU GO. 16 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,587 ( gasps ) YOU'RE THE BEST! 17 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,123 ( laughing ) 18 00:01:32,725 --> 00:01:34,827 ( men chattering ) 19 00:01:34,829 --> 00:01:38,197 Max: THIS IS A STORY OF LOVE AND ROMANCE... 20 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:44,103 ( men yelling ) 21 00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:55,247 AND WHAT COULD BE MORE ROMANTIC THAN WHORES ON ALL FOURS 22 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,483 WITH STICKS POKING OUT OF THEIR ASSES? 23 00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:01,520 ( cheering ) 24 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,855 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT... 25 00:02:02,857 --> 00:02:05,457 NOTHING! 26 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,726 BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THIS. 27 00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,895 OH, NO. 28 00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:17,336 COME ON, LET'S FUCK. 29 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:21,507 UH, NO, I CAN'T. I GOTTA GET UP FOR WORK. 30 00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:23,142 BUT YOU'RE GONNA TAKE ME HOME, RIGHT? 31 00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:26,812 UH, YEAH, YEAH. I'M GONNA TAKE YOU HOME. 32 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,181 YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS, ARE YOU? 33 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:32,217 NO...AND YOU BETTER NOT TELL NOBODY, EITHER. 34 00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:36,288 IT LOOK LIKE YOU WERE ABOUT TO TELL EVERY GODDAMN BODY. 35 00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,891 Max: THERE'S A CERTAIN TYPE OF WOMAN IN L.A. 36 00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:42,327 FROM HERE ON OUT, WE'LL CALL THEM "THE ENEMY." 37 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,329 ACTUALLY, FAHID, THE LAW IS ON PAGE'S SIDE. 38 00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:47,599 THE INJURY WAS SUSTAINED AT WORK, THUS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. 39 00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,902 SHE WAS DRUNK! SO WHAT? 40 00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:52,371 THERE ARE VERY SPECIFIC RULES. 41 00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,840 YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO GET ANY GIRLS TO WORK HERE FOR MONTHS. 42 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:55,908 YOU KNOW WE CAN DO IT. 43 00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:57,809 I SAW YOU ALL OVER HIM! 44 00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,812 IF LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD, THEN THIS IS THE FRONT LINE. 45 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,881 I WANT MY HAIR! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! 46 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,684 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS FIGHTING ABOUT? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS? 47 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,654 SHE WENT HOME WITH MY TUESDAY/THURSDAY, AND I REALLY LIKED HIM. 48 00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:11,356 SHE WAS STILL FUCKING WORKING. YOU'RE FIGHTING OVER A CUSTOMER? 49 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,892 YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS REALLY ISN'T ANY OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, ALL RIGHT? 50 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:16,295 I KNOW, BUT CAN YOU TALK, PLEASE. 51 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,230 WHATEVER! UHH! 52 00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:19,598 GIVE ME BACK MY HAIR! 53 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,605 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 54 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,741 I HAVEN'T CHECKED MY EMAIL IN WEEKS. 55 00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:32,344 WHAT? 56 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:33,745 YOU HAVE AN EMAIL ACCOUNT? 57 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,614 OF COURSE I DO. 58 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:36,848 WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? 59 00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:39,885 NOTHING. JUST... 60 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,487 YOU GIRLS ARE FIGHTING OVER A GUY WHO MOST LIKELY COULDN'T CARE LESS 61 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:45,924 ABOUT EITHER ONE OF YOU EXCEPT FOR TO STICK IT IN. SHE STARTED IT. 62 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,427 WHAT IS HIS NAME? SHAWN. 63 00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,862 LAST NAME? UM, I DON'T KNOW, 64 00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:53,632 BUT I KNOW HE WORKS AT THE BEAUTY BAR. 65 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,302 OH, LOOK. HERE WE GO. 66 00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:59,504 SHAWN, 6'1", SOUR MILK BREATH. 67 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,740 YEAH, THAT'S HIM. THREE STARS IN BED? 68 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,508 LIKE THE RESTAURANT SYSTEM? 69 00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,844 NO, SWEETIE, OUT OF TEN. YEAH. 70 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,279 OH, LOOK...HPV. 71 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,380 YEAH, THAT'S HIM. 72 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:09,748 WHAT? ( mouths ) 73 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,984 THAT MOTHERFUCKER. OOH, LET ME SEE. 74 00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:14,987 OH, MY GOD. HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS STUFF? 75 00:04:14,989 --> 00:04:17,689 WE WERE JUST SO OVER THE LYING, THE GAMES, THE CHEATING, 76 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:21,493 SO WE STARTED A GROUP WITH OUR FRIENDS TO LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER. 77 00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:24,630 WOW. THIS THING IS AMAZING. 78 00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:25,831 ( crying ) IT WAS... 79 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,866 IT WAS SIX YEARS, AND... 80 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,835 AND IT ENDED SO SUDDENLY. 81 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,770 YEAH, I KNOW, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. 82 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:35,040 AND I THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD HELP, BUT IT DOESN'T. 83 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:36,742 NO, I GET IT. I GET IT. 84 00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:38,410 I WAS WALKING HOME FROM THE BAR, 85 00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,979 AND I SEE THIS CHICK SITTING AT THE BUS STOP. 86 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,749 SHE WASN'T THE HOTTEST, BUT SHE WAS OK FOR THAT TIME OF NIGHT. 87 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,385 ANYWAY, WE GET TO TALKING, AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, SHE'S COMING HOME WITH ME. 88 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,387 I JUST GOT TO GET MY STUFF. 89 00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:52,724 THEN I SEE SHE'S GOT THIS BIG PLASTIC BAG WITH ALL HER STUFF IN IT. 90 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:56,561 SHE'S A VAGABOND. SHE'S PUTTING THE "HO" IN HOMELESS! 91 00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:58,797 BUT I WAKE UP, AND SHE'S CHECKING HER EMAIL. 92 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,565 I MEAN, THAT MAKES SENSE. 93 00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,334 I MEAN, WHERE ELSE SHE GONNA CHECK HER EMAIL? 94 00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:03,735 SHE AIN'T GOT NO WIRELESS INTERNET IN THE BUSHES. 95 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:06,638 WAIT. I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK. 96 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,739 OKAY. 97 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,341 ( grunts ) 98 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:10,776 ( panting ) 99 00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,811 THAT IS OUR DATERBASE, 100 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,746 AND ANY TIME ONE OF US MEETS A GUY, 101 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,581 WE PUT ALL HIS INFORMATION IN THERE. 102 00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:17,816 OKAY, BUT WHAT FOR? 103 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:18,950 WE USED TO BE JUST LIKE YOU TWO-- 104 00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:20,786 YOUNG AND INNOCENT. 105 00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:22,821 RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE PREY FOR GUYS LIKE HIM. 106 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,057 HE DOESN'T CARE 'CAUSE THERE'S SO MANY GIRLS IN HOLLYWOOD, 107 00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,425 THERE'S NO ACCOUNTABILITY. 108 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,760 BUT ORGANIZED AND TOGETHER, 109 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:31,763 IDIOTS LIKE HIM, THEY DON'T STAND A CHANCE. 110 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:34,466 SO IT'S LIKE A TRADE UNION FOR HOT CHICKS? 111 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:35,801 WE GOT A SMART ONE HERE, WENDY. 112 00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,402 EXACTLY. GIVE IT A TRY. 113 00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,371 GO OUT THERE RIGHT NOW AND DO A DOUBLE ACT. 114 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,006 SEE WHAT HAPPENS. OH, I DON'T KNOW. 115 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,041 GO AHEAD, GO. 116 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,844 WHAT ABOUT YOU, BRO? WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT CHICK? DUDE, SHE WAS FINE. 117 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,680 OHH. YEAH, MAN, I WAS OUTSIDE WITH HER AND HER FRIEND, RIGHT? 118 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,015 OH, NO, THE BUSTED ONE? 119 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,983 YEAH, YEAH, THE BUSTED ONE. 120 00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:56,355 AND, UM, YOU KNOW, SHE WAS GETTING A TEXT FROM SOME DUDE, 121 00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:57,856 AND THEN SHE JUST BROKE OUT, 122 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,925 AND I WAS THERE WITH THE FRIEND, 123 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,660 AND SHE SAID SHE LIVED AROUND THE CORNER, AND I WAS... 124 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:02,994 REALLY? 125 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,863 YEAH, MAN, I WAS TORE UP DRUNK, MAN. 126 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,698 I SAID FUCK IT. 127 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:10,602 YEAH, MAN, I MEAN, SHE DID HAVE NICE TITS, THOUGH. 128 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:13,438 BRO, WE HAVE GOT TO DO BETTER. 129 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:14,906 ( belches ) 130 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,708 HEY, BRO, WHEN YOU TAKE THINGIE HOME, 131 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,810 CAN YOU TAKE THIS ONE HOME, TOO? MAYBE HIT A DRIVE-THRU. 132 00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:21,446 OH, YEAH, MAN, I GOT YOU, BUT WE LEAVING NOW. 133 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:22,647 OH, HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU. 134 00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,383 HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT OKAY. 135 00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,518 HEY. HI. 136 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,687 YEAH, MAN, I GOTTA TAKE THESE HOS HOME, MAN. 137 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,990 AW, SHIT! THAT'S MY NEIGHBOR, JOHNNY EYELASH, 138 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,126 COMING HOME WITH TWO BOMB CHICKS RIGHT NOW. 139 00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:37,095 HE GOT MORE GAME THAN A PHEASANT HUNT. LET'S GO. 140 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,930 HE GONNA CLOWN ME WHEN HE SEES ME WITH THESE GIRLS. 141 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,933 COOL OUT. SQUEEZE THAT. WE GONNA GO IN A SECOND. 142 00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:51,710 YOU'VE SEEN THE ASS, NOW FLASH THE CASH. 143 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,545 FOUR TITTIES AND THE PRICE OF ONE. 144 00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:56,047 DIG DEEP, GENTLEMEN, DIG REAL DEEP. 145 00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:58,784 ♪ 146 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,894 ♪ CAN YOU DO IT? 147 00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:11,463 ♪ DO IT 148 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,764 ♪ CAN YOU DO IT? 149 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:13,999 ♪ DO IT 150 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,803 ♪ CAN YOU DO IT? 151 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:20,439 ♪ I, I DON'T THINK YOU CAN 152 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,911 YOU WERE LATE FOR WORK A MINUTE AGO. YEAH. 153 00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:27,646 WHAT'S ALL THIS CLOWNING BUSINESS? 154 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,080 HEY, MAN, I'M GONNA CALL YOU BACK, MAN. 155 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,650 IS THIS YOUR HOUSE OR YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE? 156 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,485 WE CAN ALL LEAVE NOW, 157 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,954 OR I CAN PULL THE FUCKING FIRE ALARM ON MY WAY OUT. 158 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,790 ALL RIGHT, FINE. WOULD YOU ALL CHILL OUT? 159 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,959 RELAX, MAN. YOU ALL AIN'T GOT NOWHERE TO BE? 160 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,527 ( screaming ) 161 00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,896 OH, MY GOD! WE GOT TWENTIES! 162 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,965 I WANT TO JOIN YOUR CLUB. I WANT TO JOIN YOUR CLUB. 163 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,467 ME TOO! WHAT'S IT CALLED? 164 00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:50,635 THE NAME IS T.O.B. T.O.B.? 165 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,170 JUST COME ON SATURDAY, AND YOU'LL SEE. 166 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,872 OKAY. 167 00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,907 WHERE'S YOUR CRAP CAR? MY HEAD HURTS. 168 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,209 I'M REALLY HUNGRY. 169 00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:58,610 DO YOU HAVE AN ASPIRIN? 170 00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,679 MY MOUTH TASTES LIKE ASS. 171 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,948 I FUCKING HATE THAT GUY. 172 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,717 JUST GIVE YOUR APPLE, TELL HER SHE'S PRETTY, YOU'LL BE FINE. 173 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,752 WHOA, THOSE CHICKS ARE BUSTED. 174 00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:11,256 GIVES A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO THE PHRASE "WALK OF SHAME," HUH? 175 00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:14,559 HEY, LADIES. YEAH. 176 00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,161 MAX. WHAT'S UP, MAN? 177 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,896 GOT YOUR HANDS FULL, HUH, LOVERBOY? 178 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:20,031 YEAH. HEY, LATER, MAN. 179 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:24,703 HERE, UH, THIS GET YOU, UM, WHEREVER YOU'RE GOING. 180 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:27,672 FIVE BUCKS? REALLY? 181 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,609 YEAH. UH, OKAY. HOW ABOUT THIS? HERE. 182 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:34,145 VIENNA SAUSAGES? REALLY? 183 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,748 UM, YEAH. THEY'RE NON-PERISHABLE. 184 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,617 NO, NO, I JUST MEAN-- 185 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:39,784 FUCK YOU! 186 00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,586 ALL RIGHT. UH, EMAIL ME. 187 00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:42,654 ( door slams ) 188 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:50,795 ( horn honks ) 189 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,568 WHOO! 190 00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:16,087 ( indistinct singing ) 191 00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:33,305 FUCK YOU GUYS! 192 00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:34,873 ASSHOLES! 193 00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:48,687 WHAT THE FUCK'S UP WITH YOU HAIR TODAY? 194 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,689 WHY YOU ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT MY SHIT, MAN? JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED EARLIER. 195 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,324 OH, ANYWAY, SO, THESE TWO CHICKS COME IN, RIGHT? 196 00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:54,326 FUCKIN' SMOKIN'. BIG FAKE TITS, YOU KNOW. 197 00:09:54,328 --> 00:09:59,064 AND, UH, YOU KNOW, I'M BUSY, BUT... HOW CAN I RESIST? 198 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:02,233 BUT AS SOON AS THEY LEFT, I GET THIS FEELING I'VE BEEN CHUMPED. 199 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:05,303 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? LIKE THEY'RE TRYING TO PUT ONE OVER ON ME. 200 00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,672 LIKE THEY'RE NOT REALLY INTO ME, LIKE THEY'RE PRETENDING. 201 00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,941 YEAH. 202 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,676 SO, LATER, I'M PRINTING UP THE T-SHIRTS, 203 00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:12,877 IT ALL STARTS TO MAKE SENSE. 204 00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,312 "WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT 205 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:17,148 THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED ASSHOLES"? 206 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,883 I MEAN, IT'S LIKE THEY CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH US. 207 00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,218 NOW THEY HAVE WHAT? MAN-HATING CLUBS? 208 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,786 OH, MY GOD! 209 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,321 OH, GEE! 210 00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,357 JESUS, WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU'RE GOING! 211 00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:27,225 MAN, I'M SO SORRY, BROTHER. ARE YOU OKAY, MAN? 212 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:28,960 NO, I'M NOT OKAY. 213 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,962 ( sniffs ) SMELLS DANK IN THERE, MAN. 214 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,697 I GOT YOU. 215 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:38,737 WE COOL? WHAT IS THIS, A FUCKING BAG OF WEED? ARE YOU KIDDING? 216 00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,672 HOW ABOUT YOU CALL AN AMBULANCE? NO NEED TO CONCERN THE AUTHORITIES. 217 00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,374 THAT'S NEARLY HALF AN OUNCE. 218 00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:44,075 COME ON, MAN, WHAT CAN I DO? LET'S MAKE THIS RIGHT. 219 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,977 HOW ABOUT YOU LET HER COME RUB IT BETTER? 220 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,178 DO ME A FAVOR... 221 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:48,913 DUDE, HE IS ALWAYS WITH THE BOMB CHICKS. 222 00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:51,116 MAYBE WE CAN GET HIM TO INTRODUCE US TO SOME. 223 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,652 SHIT, OR MAYBE SHOW US EVEN HOW HE GET SOME OF THOSE CHICKS. 224 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:54,986 YEAH, I'M DOWN. 225 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,988 AAH. 226 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,256 WHERE DOES IT HURT? 227 00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,724 IT'S RIGHT OVER HERE. YEAH. 228 00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:02,160 UH, HEY, MAN, I KNOW HOW YOU CAN HELP US OUT. 229 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,928 ALL RIGHT, NAME IT. 230 00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:07,098 WHY DON'T YOU TEACH US HOW TO GET WITH CHICKS LIKE THAT? 231 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,833 SERIOUSLY? YEAH. 232 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,735 ALL RIGHT. 233 00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:12,737 WHY DON'T YOU GUYS COME BY LATER, AND WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 234 00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,372 Max: AND JUST LIKE THAT, 235 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,841 JOHNNY EYELASH AGREED TO BE OUR DRILL INSTRUCTOR. 236 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,710 COME ON, BABY. WHICH IS GOOD... 237 00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,145 MAN, YOUR ASS AIN'T EVEN HURT, MAN. 238 00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:21,446 ...BECAUSE ACROSS TOWN... 239 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:24,015 I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FEMALES 240 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,384 OF THE T.O.B. OF AMERICA 241 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,921 AND TO THE METHODS BY WHICH IT STANDS, 242 00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:33,058 WITH MANIPULATION, WITH HOT BODS, 243 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,759 IRRESISTIBLE, 244 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:37,429 WITH LUXURY FOR JUST US, 245 00:11:37,431 --> 00:11:39,164 THAT'S ALL! 246 00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:41,232 ( cheering ) 247 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,304 OKAY, FIRST, WELCOME, EVERYONE, 248 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,907 AND A SPECIAL HELLO TO OUR NEW PROSPECTS, 249 00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:52,243 YVONNE AND COURTNEY. Women: HI. 250 00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,180 WE REALLY HOPE THAT YOU'RE GONNA LIKE WHAT WE'RE ABOUT. 251 00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:59,451 AND A BIG KISS TO LYRIC, WHO, AS OF LAST WEEK, 252 00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:01,052 IS A FULL TASSEL SISTER. 253 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,456 ( cheering ) 254 00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:06,157 YEAH! 255 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,293 SO, WHAT? YOU GUYS CAN'T GET GIRLFRIENDS? 256 00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:11,029 WE DON'T WANT GIRLFRIENDS. WE WANT TO BANG HOT CHICKS LIKE YOU. 257 00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,363 ALL RIGHT, I'M LISTENIN'. 258 00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:14,332 AND PLUS, MAN, WE MADE A PACT IN HIGH SCHOOL. 259 00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:15,867 YEAH, WHEN WE WERE 15. 260 00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:20,105 OH, OHH, MY GOD. HO. 261 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:23,274 MAN, WHEN WE GET OLDER, WE GONNA BANG CHICKS LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME. 262 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,343 DEFINITELY. OH. 263 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:30,415 I MEAN, WE DO OKAY WITH THE AVERAGE CHICKS, 264 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,918 BUT THOSE, LIKE, SUPER-DUPER BOMB HOLLYWOOD CHICKS, MAN... 265 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,353 MAN, THEY DON'T EVEN FUCK WITH US. 266 00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:36,387 YEAH, THEY IGNORE US, MAN. 267 00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:37,889 OR MAKE JOKES. 268 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,157 AND IT'S NOT GETTING ANY EASIER, MAN. 269 00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,425 TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 270 00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,798 T.O.B. CLUB. 271 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,032 I'VE HEARD ABOUT THIS. 272 00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:51,770 SEE, WOMEN ARE NATURALLY MORE DEVIOUS, 273 00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,805 BUT IT'S THAT BITCHINESS THAT USUALLY DIVIDES THEM 274 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,073 AND GIVES US GUY AN ANGLE. 275 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,407 DUDE, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE TITS 276 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,376 ON THE GIRLS THAT LEFT THAT WITH ME. 277 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,278 NOW THEY'RE GETTING ORGANIZED. 278 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,080 THIS DOESN'T BODE WELL. 279 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,282 REGULAR GUYS LIKE YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE. 280 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,817 THAT'S WHY WE NEED YOUR HELP. 281 00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,252 DUDE, COME ON, JUST PASS ON YOUR WISDOM. 282 00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:08,419 YOU GOTTA HELP US OUT, MAN. 283 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:09,788 WHAT THE FUCK DOES "BODE" MEAN? 284 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,222 LOOK AT THESE FREAKS, COME ON. 285 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,424 ALL RIGHT, BOYS, RELAX, JESUS. 286 00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:17,362 ALL RIGHT, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING 287 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:20,498 ABOUT THESE HOT CHICKS YOU'RE SO SCARED OF. 288 00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:29,240 ALL RIGHT, BOYS. 289 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:32,510 YOUR AVERAGE HOLLYWOOD BABE. 290 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:33,878 NICE, RIGHT? 291 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,281 YOU TAKE AWAY THE HAIR... 292 00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:38,483 THE IMPLANTS... 293 00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:41,252 THE LIPO... 294 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:44,022 THE STRAPPY SHOES, CUTE LITTLE DRESS, 295 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:49,294 OH, AND THE MAKEUP... 296 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,563 AND THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE LEFT WITH. 297 00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:53,298 NOT PARTICULARLY ATTRACTIVE. 298 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:56,301 NOT THAT SMART, NOT THAT INTERESTING-- 299 00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:58,436 BASICALLY SOMEONE IN YOUR OWN LEAGUE. 300 00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,073 THAT'S THE WAY YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT 'EM, GUYS. 301 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,441 I SWEAR TO GOD, BEFORE LONG, 302 00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:05,243 YOU'LL BE A GODDAMN HUMAN SHISH KABOB. 303 00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,011 DUDE, THAT'S HARSH. 304 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,179 I SWEAR, IT'S AS IF YOU HATE THEM. 305 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,481 MAN, I DON'T HATE 'EM... 306 00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:13,218 ANY MORE THAN A LION HATES A GAZELLE. 307 00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:17,222 BUT I HAD MY HEART BROKEN ONCE... 308 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,356 COME ON, WEN, PLEASE! 309 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,357 IT'S OVER. 310 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,092 SMASHED INTO LITTLE PIECES. 311 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,493 WE CAN MAKE THIS WORK. 312 00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,863 ALL I NEED IS A CHANCE. DON'T DO THIS. 313 00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,531 BUT I PULLED MYSELF TOGETHER. 314 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,000 AND NOW, I JUST DON'T GIVE A SHIT. 315 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,935 COME ON, DON'T GO, MAN. 316 00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:33,438 I LOVE YOU, WENDY. 317 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,407 OKAY, COOL. WHY DO YOU HAVE A LITTLE GIRL'S DOLL? 318 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,976 WHO THE FUCK CARES? 319 00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:39,210 WILL YOU PLEASE HELP US? 320 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,412 HEY, LOOK, I'LL HELP YOU GUYS, 321 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:42,947 BUT YOU GOTTA DO WHAT I SAY 322 00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,582 EXACTLY WHEN I TELL YOU TO DO IT, 323 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,951 NO QUESTIONS ASKED, OR I'M OUT. 324 00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:49,220 ALL RIGHT, COME BACK NEXT WEEK AND BRING YOUR LAPTOPS. 325 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,256 OH, WAIT, I DON'T GOT A LAPTOP, MAN. 326 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,291 I STILL GOT THAT DIALUP SHIT, THAT... ( imitates dialup ) 327 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,126 JESUS, CHRIST, YOU GOT A LAPTOP? YES. 328 00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:57,028 YOU GOT A LAPTOP? YEAH, IT'S REALLY NICE. 329 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,096 ALL RIGHT, WELL, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. 330 00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,364 SO I CAN SHARE OF YOURS, HUH? 331 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,632 NO, SHARE OFF HIS, DUDE, I GOT A DELL. 332 00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:02,100 GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! 333 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,568 SO, TO BUSINESS... 334 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,570 GRETCHEN, HOW'S YOUR REFINANCE GOING? 335 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,438 OKAY, WELL, THE GUY CAME OVER THE OTHER DAY 336 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,508 AND TOOK ME TO LUNCH, BUT WE GOT A LITTLE TOO DRUNK. 337 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:11,609 WE DIDN'T FINISH THE PAPERWORK. 338 00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,244 Women: GRETCHEN! 339 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,946 I KNOW, BUT DON'T WORRY. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 340 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:17,382 OKAY, LADIES, NOT THIS DATERBASE ONLY WORKS 341 00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:18,983 IF WE KEEP IT UPDATED. 342 00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:20,618 SO DID ANYBODY HAVE A DATE THIS WEEK? 343 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:21,986 I MET A GUY. 344 00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:24,155 WHAT WAS HIS NAME? ADEN. 345 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,957 ISN'T THAT YOUR OTHER BOYFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND? 346 00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,425 YEAH, HE HIT ON ME YESTERDAY 347 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,627 JUST 'CAUSE I WAS SUNBATHING TOPLESS BY HIS POOL. 348 00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,496 UHH, SUCH A PIG. I KNOW. 349 00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:34,232 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE WILL USE THAT AGAINST HIM. 350 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,534 ANYONE ELSE? YES, CHANEL? 351 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:39,337 THERE IS A BIG, HUGE HAIR SPIDER. 352 00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:43,374 IT CRAWLED INTO MY CLOSET, AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND IT. 353 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,977 I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GO INTO MY CLOSET FOR, LIKE, A WEEK. 354 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:49,681 I'VE BEEN BUYING ALL OF MY CLOTHES BRAND-NEW BECAUSE I'M SCARED OF IT. 355 00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:50,982 THAT'S EASY, I'LL SEND ONCH. 356 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:52,383 ONCH! 357 00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,185 YES, WENDY? 358 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,687 GO! NOW? 359 00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:58,289 NO. TOMORROW. GO. 360 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,391 HOW ABOUT OUR NEW GIRLS? ANYTHING YOU GIRLS NEED? 361 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,426 LIKE WHAT? 362 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,027 ANYTHING? 363 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:06,197 UM, OKAY, WELL, MY SHOWER KEEPS DRIPPING, 364 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,699 AND IT'S KIND OF GROWING MOLD IN THERE. 365 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,534 I MEAN, I CLEAN IT, BUT-- 366 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:10,702 I'LL SEND ONCH OVER. 367 00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:12,170 HOW MUCH IS THAT GONNA COST? 368 00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:15,039 SWEETIE, WE JUST SAY "OUR HOT GIRLFRIEND" 369 00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:17,075 AND "SHOWER" IN THE SAME SENTENCE. 370 00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:19,143 COOL, THANK YOU. 371 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,178 AND WHAT ABOUT YOU, YVONNE? 372 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,413 I'M COOL. 373 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:23,448 REALLY? 374 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,016 I THINK SO. 375 00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,585 I MEAN, THIS ALL SEEMS A BIT COLD-HEARTED. 376 00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:30,355 YOU LIKE TO FUCK AND PARTY, DON'T YOU? 377 00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,623 YEAH! A LOT. 378 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,659 ( laughter ) 379 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,194 THOSE ARE MARKETABLE SKILLS. 380 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:38,196 AND COMPLETELY TAX-FREE, SWEETIE. 381 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:41,132 I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT. 382 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:43,234 I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. 383 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,339 THANKS, JOHNNY. BYE, SARAH. 384 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,540 I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK, ALL RIGHT. 385 00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:52,210 DUDE, YOU ARE LIKE THE KING. 386 00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:53,211 IT'S JUST WORK. 387 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,345 WORK? WHAT DO YOU DO? 388 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,613 I'M IN PHARMACEUTICAL SALES. 389 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,782 YOU A DRUG DEALER? NO, I'M A SALES REP, 390 00:16:57,784 --> 00:17:00,184 FOR, AMONG OTHER THINGS, KELOCOTE. 391 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,487 IT'S AN OINTMENT THAT WOMEN USE AFTER THEY GET BOOB JOBS. 392 00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:04,122 IT HEALS THE SCAR TISSUE. 393 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:06,357 WAIT A MINUTE, YOU GET PAID TO RUB CREAM 394 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,625 ON WOMEN'S TITTIES, YO? 395 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:10,228 YEAH. I REALLY AM A BOOB INSPECTOR. 396 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,763 OH, MY GOD. 397 00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:14,365 COME ON IN, GUYS. DAMN. 398 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,800 WHAT KIND OF BENEFITS A JOB LIKE THAT GOT? 399 00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,668 THAT'S TIGHT. HA. 400 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:26,077 AH, MAN, FLING, MAN, THEY GOT SOME SWEET PUSSY ON HERE. 401 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:28,546 YEAH, BUT THAT'S NOT THE DEAL. 402 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,248 WE COULD HAVE DONE THIS OURSELVES. 403 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,250 NO, DUMBSHIT. THESE ONLINE DATING SITES 404 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,684 ARE A GREAT WAY TO LEARN ABOUT WOMEN 405 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:34,752 AND THE GAMES THEY PLAY. 406 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,821 ( water splashing ) 407 00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:44,695 ( whistling ) 408 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,337 HEY, GIRLS. LOOK WHAT I GOT. 409 00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:54,405 YAY, DRINKS! 410 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,240 OHH! 411 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,809 PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! 412 00:17:57,811 --> 00:18:01,646 I HATE TAN LINES! IT'S TOO NICE OUT HERE! 413 00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:06,517 "DOGS ARE CONTROLLED BY THEIR BASEST MOTIVES. 414 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,153 EAT, SLEEP, AND COPULATE." 415 00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:10,688 DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR? 416 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:13,424 THEY EVEN CALL THEMSELVES DOGS. 417 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,826 IT'S SO PATHETIC. 418 00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:16,294 THEY WOULD SPEND THEIR WHOLE LIFE-- 419 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,362 CAR, JOB, AND BEING-- 420 00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:20,431 JUST TRYING TO SQUIRT. 421 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,500 ( laughing ) 422 00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:26,104 YEAH, BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. 423 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:29,307 "I LIKE CUDDLING, SOFT KISSES, ANIMALS, 424 00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:32,577 "WALKS ON THE BEACH, DINING, A NICE MAN, 425 00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:34,745 SINCERE, KIND"? 426 00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,314 THIS SHIT MAKES ME SICK. 427 00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,349 WHY? SOME OF THAT STUFF IS CUTE. 428 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,585 OKAY, WINETASTING. 429 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,453 THAT MEANS SHE LIKES TO GET FUCKED UP. 430 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:46,324 DINING. THAT MEANS YOU TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER. 431 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,159 WHAT, VACATIONS? 432 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,695 YOU THINK SHE'S PAYING FOR THESE VACATIONS? 433 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,530 DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER 434 00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,665 AND YOU THOUGHT THAT IF YOU WERE REALLY NICE TO A GUY 435 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,234 HE'D BE REALLY NICE BACK? 436 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:59,604 YES. OH, MY GOD, I DID EVERYTHING FOR HIM. 437 00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:02,173 I MEAN, I REALLY TREATED HIM WELL. 438 00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:03,474 HOW'D THAT WORK OUT FOR YOU? 439 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,477 HE SLEPT WITH MY SISTER. AND MY BEST FRIEND. 440 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,612 HEY, DUDE, CHECK OUT THE FRIEND. 441 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:08,679 YEAH, DUDE, SHE'S FINE. 442 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,248 Max: YEAH, SHE IS BOMB. 443 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,916 BUT TAKE A CLOSE LOOK AT ALL THESE PHOTOS. 444 00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:13,351 DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING? 445 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,619 A LOT OF THEM AREN'T FULL BODY SHOTS. 446 00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:16,187 RIGHT. 447 00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:18,222 THEY'RE TAKEN FROM HIGH ANGLES, TOO. 448 00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,224 YEAH, LOTS OF THEM ARE WEARING BABY DOLL DRESSES. 449 00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:21,492 YEAH, LOOK AT THAT. 450 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,227 WHY DO WOMEN WEAR BABY DOLL DRESSES? 451 00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:25,530 BECAUSE IT HIDES THEIR FAT ASSES. 452 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,231 SEE, ALL THESE PICTURES, 453 00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:28,599 THEY'RE ALL TRYING TO TRICK YOU IN SOME WAY. 454 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:29,934 THE PERSONAL AD IS A GREAT WAY 455 00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,669 TO UNDERSTAND THE TRUE NATURE OF WOMEN. 456 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,204 YOU'RE BEGINNING TO GET AN IDEA 457 00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,540 OF HOW DECEITFUL THE AVERAGE GIRL IS. 458 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,877 WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE AVERAGE GIRLS. 459 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,913 I WANT YOU TO SEPARATE OUT ALL THE HOTTIES, 460 00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:43,648 AND THAT'S WHO WE NEED TO FOCUS ON. 461 00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,816 THE TRICK IS TO GET THEM ALL EXCITED, 462 00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:47,718 BUT IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN, 463 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,487 LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE. 464 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,522 REALLY? OH, YEAH. 465 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,392 OKAY, THE NEXT TIME YOU BRING A GUY HOME, 466 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,893 I WANT YOU TO GET OFF FOR HIM. 467 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:59,263 I MEAN, MAKE A HUGE SHOW. PORN-STYLE. 468 00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:01,532 OHH! YEAH! 469 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,401 SEXY! 470 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:04,502 THAT'S IT! 471 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,804 THANK YOU. 472 00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,739 AND THEN HE'LL BE SO EXCITED. 473 00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,241 OHH, OHH! 474 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,576 BUT DON'T LET HIM PUT IT IN. 475 00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,544 AND THEN WHEN YOU'RE DONE, 476 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,779 LEAVE WITHOUT GIVING YOUR NUMBER. 477 00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:16,681 THAT WORKS? OF COURSE. 478 00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,683 THE REJECTION PLAYS ON THEIR INSECURITIES, 479 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:23,254 AND WE ALL KNOW THAT ALL MEN REALLY CARE ABOUT IS TITS AND ASS. 480 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:26,891 THANK YOU. HA HA HA! 481 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:30,628 THEY WOULD SIT AROUND OGLING US ALL DAY LONG IF THEY COULD. 482 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,830 ( laughter ) 483 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,865 OH, MAN, SHE WAS MADE TO GET LAID. 484 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,602 YOU GUYS CHECK THIS OUT, 27 LEVELS OF COMPATIBILITY. 485 00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,303 IS HER ASS COMPATIBLE WITH MY DICK? 486 00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:40,771 AND WHAT THE FUCK IS A CUPID SCORE, MAN? 487 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,406 JUST SHOW ME YOUR TITTIES. 488 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,875 RIGHT. THAT'S WHAT MEN ARE DESIGNED TO DO. 489 00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,311 GET WITH ATTRACTIVE WOMEN. 490 00:20:47,313 --> 00:20:49,747 NOW, LOOK AT WHAT THEY SAY, FIRST, "NO PLAYERS. 491 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,283 IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A HOOKUP, THEN MOVE ON, MISTER." 492 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:53,484 THEN WHY THE FUCK IS SHE STANDING 493 00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:54,986 IN FRONT OF A FERRARI WITH HER TITS OUT? 494 00:20:54,988 --> 00:20:56,887 RIGHT. IT'S TO GET YOU ALL RILED UP. 495 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,956 AND CHECK IT, "I'M LOOKING FOR A GUY 496 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:01,559 "WHO'S KIND AND LOYAL AND SPIRITUAL 497 00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:04,462 AND CARING AND AMBITIOUS." 498 00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:07,798 AMBITIOUS? DOESN'T REALLY FIT, RIGHT? 499 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,001 THE ONE COMMON WORD IN ALL THE HOTTIES. 500 00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:12,003 YOU KNOW, "GENEROUS" SEEMS TO CROP UP THE MOST. 501 00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:13,704 YEAH, I'M GETTIN' "GENEROUS" A BUNCH, TOO. 502 00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:15,539 HERE'S ANOTHER ONE RIGHT THERE. RIGHT, RIGHT. 503 00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:18,342 BUT YOU CAN'T BE GENEROUS IF YOU DON'T HAVE CASH. 504 00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:21,512 YOU KNOW, THE WOMEN WE'RE AFTER ARE MONEY-GRUBBING HOS. 505 00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:22,980 GODDAMN RIGHT. 506 00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:24,749 WE KNOW FROM CAVEMAN TIMES 507 00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:26,984 THAT A MAN IS GENETICALLY PREDISPOSED 508 00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:30,354 TO BE FAITHFUL FOR A MAXIMUM OF THREE YEARS 509 00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:33,424 BECAUSE THAT'S HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR AN INFANT TO LEARN HOW TO WALK. 510 00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:35,760 THEN THEY LEAVE THE CAVE AND THE MOTHER 511 00:21:35,762 --> 00:21:37,895 TO GO SPREAD THEIR SEED FAR AND WIDE. 512 00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,630 IT'S JUST HUMAN NATURE, 513 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:42,733 SO FORGET ABOUT THAT FAIRY TALE, GROWING OLD TOGETHER... 514 00:21:42,735 --> 00:21:44,969 I LOVE FAIRY TALES. 515 00:21:46,371 --> 00:21:48,439 LOOK, WE DON'T HAVE SEEDS TO SPREAD, 516 00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:50,574 BUT WE DO HAVE LEGS. 517 00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:52,910 YEAH, WE DO! 518 00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:56,747 EXACTLY. I MEAN, YOU GUYS ARE ALL COOL AND HIPSTER LOOKING. 519 00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:58,683 WHAT, ARE YOU IN A BAND? YEAH, WE GOT BEATS. 520 00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:02,453 YEAH, LIKE CREEPY BEATS. YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF LIKE A GOTH VIBE 521 00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:03,888 WITH, YOU KNOW, HIP-HOP. 522 00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:06,891 YEAH, LIKE BAUHAUS MEETS BOWWOW, 523 00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:09,427 BUT LIKE MORE PALE. ALL RIGHT, GREAT. 524 00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:11,829 WITH A HINT OF C&C MUSIC FACTORY. 525 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,531 UNLESS YOU'RE FREDDY FUCKING MERCURY, 526 00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:15,966 ALL THAT CONVENTIONAL WISDOM ABOUT BEING IN THE BAND 527 00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:17,935 GETTING YOU LAID DOESN'T APPLY WITH THESE CHICKS. 528 00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:20,104 MAN, THESE CHICKS WERE GETTING DICKED OVER BY BAND DUDES 529 00:22:20,106 --> 00:22:22,807 WHEN YOU WERE STILL POPPING ZITS ON YOUR HISTORY HOMEWORK. 530 00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:23,874 THAT'S YOU, BUDDY! 531 00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:25,109 AND THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT 532 00:22:25,111 --> 00:22:27,445 ABOUT YOUR "GIG" AND YOUR CREEPY BEATS. 533 00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:29,347 SO, LOOK, GO GET YOUR HAIR CUT, 534 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:31,949 GO SEE MY TAILOR-- HE'LL GET GUYS ALL SORTED OUT-- 535 00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:33,084 AND WE'LL GET STARTED. 536 00:22:33,086 --> 00:22:34,118 I'M SORRY. WAIT. TAILOR? 537 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,486 IS THIS GOING TO BE EXPENSIVE? 538 00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:36,554 YEAH, IT'S GOING TO BE EXPENSIVE! 539 00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:38,122 THAT'S KIND OF THE POINT. 540 00:22:38,124 --> 00:22:40,825 AND THIS THRIFT-STORE SHIT AND THESE IRONIC T-SHIRTS-- 541 00:22:40,827 --> 00:22:42,693 IT'S JUST NOT GONNA CUT IT. 542 00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:44,695 AND WHAT'S WITH THOSE GLASSES-- DO YOU EVEN NEED THOSE GLASSES? 543 00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:47,398 NO, THEY'RE NOT FOR SEEING. IT'S FOR THE LOOK. 544 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:48,799 YEAH, WELL, THEY'RE STUPID. 545 00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:50,768 AND TAKE OUT THAT FUCKING NOSE RING. 546 00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:52,603 JESUS, YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. 547 00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:55,673 AND BY GIVING A LITTLE BIT TO A FEW DIFFERENT GUYS, 548 00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:57,408 IF IT'S DONE WITH CLASS, 549 00:22:57,410 --> 00:23:00,044 A WOMAN CAN EASILY SUPPORT HERSELF. 550 00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:02,813 AND THE RICHER THE GUY, THE BIGGER THE PAYOFF. 551 00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:04,715 I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT. 552 00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:06,016 YOU SAID IT. 553 00:23:06,018 --> 00:23:09,153 OKAY, I AM SO IN. WHERE DO WE MEET THESE GUYS? 554 00:23:09,155 --> 00:23:11,021 ELLE, GRETCHEN, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE NEW GIRLS OUT 555 00:23:11,023 --> 00:23:12,390 AND SHOW THEM HOW IT'S DONE? 556 00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:13,457 YEAH! 557 00:23:13,459 --> 00:23:14,558 OH, MY GOSH, WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN. 558 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:15,726 ( cheering ) 559 00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:19,897 I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH. 560 00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:21,132 YOU GOT A CREDIT CARD, DON'T YOU? 561 00:23:21,134 --> 00:23:23,634 YEAH. MY MOM'S. WELL, CHARGE IT. 562 00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:25,870 LOOK, YOU GOTTA AT LEAST LOOK LIKE YOU COULD THROW DOWN SOME CASH, ALL RIGHT? 563 00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:27,571 BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE UP, MAN. 564 00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:29,039 I'M PAYING OFF MY STUDENT LOANS. 565 00:23:29,041 --> 00:23:30,741 LOOK, DINGLEBERRY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE RICH. 566 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,576 YOU JUST HAVE TO LOOK RICH. 567 00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:34,645 LOOK, MAN, I THOUGHT YOU WAS JUST GONNA GIVE US SOME TIPS, 568 00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:37,448 WE SPEND ALL THIS MONEY... NIGGA, I'M BROKE. 569 00:23:37,450 --> 00:23:39,650 ARE YOU OKAY, YVONNE? 570 00:23:41,987 --> 00:23:44,455 IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN HELP YOU WITH? 571 00:23:44,457 --> 00:23:45,656 NOT REALLY. 572 00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:48,058 ANYTHING YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH? 573 00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:50,494 ANYTHING YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOUR BODY? 574 00:23:50,496 --> 00:23:52,696 NO. WHY? 575 00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:55,800 YOU'D BE SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE IF YOU JUST GOT SOME BOOBS. 576 00:23:55,802 --> 00:23:57,768 I LIKE MY BOOBS! 577 00:23:57,770 --> 00:24:00,905 I KNOW, DEAR, BUT THEY'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. 578 00:24:02,674 --> 00:24:05,776 LOCK IT IN. YOU GOT IT LOCKED IN, NOW PUT SOME PRESSURE ON IT. 579 00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:07,044 ( choking ) 580 00:24:07,046 --> 00:24:08,913 YOU WANNA CUT OFF CIRCULATION TO HIS BRAIN. 581 00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:10,948 THAT'S GOOD. BONES, GOOD JOB. 582 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:12,149 THANKS. THANKS A LOT, JOHNNY. 583 00:24:12,151 --> 00:24:14,051 THANKS, JOHNNY. YEAH, NO PROBLEM, GUYS. 584 00:24:14,053 --> 00:24:16,821 HEY, NICE SHOES, GUY TOWN. VERY PRETTY. 585 00:24:16,823 --> 00:24:18,789 FAGGOTS. COME ON, MAN. 586 00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:20,491 IS THIS THE ONLY REASON YOU CALLED US DOWN HERE WAS TO MAKE FUN OF US? 587 00:24:20,493 --> 00:24:21,759 NO. IT'S NOT THE ONLY REASON. 588 00:24:21,761 --> 00:24:23,494 I GOT YOUR MESSAGE ABOUT LAST NIGHT. 589 00:24:23,496 --> 00:24:25,062 I THINK I CAN HELP. NOW WHAT HAPPENED. 590 00:24:25,064 --> 00:24:27,164 IT WENT PRETTY GOOD. YOU KNOW, WE GOT TO THE VELVET, 591 00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:29,600 YOU KNOW, WE MET THESE CHICKS, WE WAS BUYING THEM DRINKS, 592 00:24:29,602 --> 00:24:32,102 THEY WAS FEELING OUR NEW FLY GEAR AND SHIT... AND MY HAIR. 593 00:24:32,104 --> 00:24:34,772 YEAH, WE EVEN DEFENDED THEM FROM THIS DUDE WHO TRIED TO SNAKE IN. 594 00:24:34,774 --> 00:24:37,708 YEAH, MAN, BUT WHEN IT CAME TIME TO CLOSE THE DEAL UP, MAN, 595 00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:41,812 THIS DUDE INVITED THEM TO SOME JACUZZI PARTY IN THE HILLS, AND THEY ALL BROKE OUT. 596 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,781 WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? THEY WERE GONNA BE LIKE, 597 00:24:43,783 --> 00:24:45,749 "NO, LET'S ALL GO BACK TO MY PLACE AND FUCK"? 598 00:24:45,751 --> 00:24:47,084 I WAS HOPING SO. 599 00:24:47,086 --> 00:24:48,652 THERE PROBABLY WASN'T EVEN A PARTY, 600 00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:50,087 BUT THE DUDE HAD A PLAN. 601 00:24:50,089 --> 00:24:51,922 HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO. 602 00:24:51,924 --> 00:24:53,123 YOU TELL THEM YOU WANT TO HAVE A PHOTO SHOOT AT YOUR STUDIO 603 00:24:53,125 --> 00:24:54,525 AFTER THE BAR CLOSES. 604 00:24:54,527 --> 00:24:56,126 WILL THEY GO FOR THAT? OF COURSE. 605 00:24:56,128 --> 00:24:57,795 LOOK, THEY SPEND A LOT OF MONEY TO LOOK GOOD, 606 00:24:57,797 --> 00:24:59,563 SO YOU KINDA GOTTA PLAY TO THEIR VANITY. 607 00:24:59,565 --> 00:25:01,232 OKAY, BUT WHERE ARE WE GONNA TAKE THEM? 608 00:25:01,234 --> 00:25:02,967 I DUNNO, MAN, YOU'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. 609 00:25:02,969 --> 00:25:04,535 HEY, JOHNNY, LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. 610 00:25:04,537 --> 00:25:06,670 WHAT ABOUT A CAMERA? NO, I'VE GOT A CAMERA. 611 00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:08,606 GOOD. BUT YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO GET A POLAROID, TOO. 612 00:25:08,608 --> 00:25:11,575 POLAROID? THEY DON'T MAKE THAT SHIT NO MORE. THAT'S OLD. 613 00:25:11,577 --> 00:25:13,644 JOHNNY, LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, MAN. LET'S ROLL. 614 00:25:13,646 --> 00:25:15,946 IT DOESN'T MATTER. LOOK, YOU SAID YOU'D DO WHAT I TELL YOU, RIGHT? 615 00:25:15,948 --> 00:25:17,715 TRUST ME. ALL RIGHT, MAN. 616 00:25:17,717 --> 00:25:19,216 WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT PATCH ON YOUR SHOULDER? 617 00:25:19,218 --> 00:25:20,751 IT'S A FLEUR DE LIS. IT'S COOL. 618 00:25:20,753 --> 00:25:21,852 NO, IT'S NOT COOL. 619 00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:24,121 WELL... 620 00:25:24,123 --> 00:25:26,724 GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. BYE, LADIES. 621 00:25:26,726 --> 00:25:29,994 Max: SO JOHNNY TOLD US TO GET BACK ON THE HORSE, 622 00:25:29,996 --> 00:25:33,797 BUT I THOUGHT HE SAID "WHORES." 623 00:26:29,788 --> 00:26:31,689 YEAH. I'M UP AND COMING, THOUGH. 624 00:26:31,691 --> 00:26:33,090 I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT. 625 00:26:33,092 --> 00:26:35,793 OH. THIS IS SO OLD. 626 00:26:35,795 --> 00:26:38,329 YOU WANNA COME BACK TO MY BUDDY AARON'S STUDIO, HAVE A PHOTO SHOOT? 627 00:26:38,331 --> 00:26:39,897 A PHOTO SHOOT? 628 00:26:39,899 --> 00:26:41,899 ARE THOSE REAL? 629 00:26:41,901 --> 00:26:43,233 THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN. 630 00:26:43,235 --> 00:26:47,705 I GUESS YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND OUT...MAYBE. 631 00:26:47,707 --> 00:26:49,907 YOU'RE A PHOTOGRAPHER. 632 00:26:49,909 --> 00:26:51,108 ARE THEY PROFESSIONAL? 633 00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:52,943 WELL, YEAH, I GUESS. 634 00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:55,179 LET'S DO IT. YOU GOT SOME BOOZE BACK AT THE OFFICE RIGHT? 635 00:26:55,181 --> 00:26:57,114 YEAH, YEAH. A LITTLE, A LITTLE. 636 00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:58,749 WE COULD DO SOME SHOTS TOGETHER. 637 00:26:58,751 --> 00:27:00,317 YEAH, LETS GO PARTY. COME ON. 638 00:27:00,319 --> 00:27:03,654 UH, THIS IS OUR BACKDROP. 639 00:27:03,656 --> 00:27:06,857 LIKE, USUALLY WE HAVE, LIKE, MOUNTAINS AND LAKES 640 00:27:06,859 --> 00:27:08,826 AND THINGS LIKE THAT AND INDIANS IN THE BACKGROUND, 641 00:27:08,828 --> 00:27:10,661 BUT WE ON A TIGHT BUDGET NOW. 642 00:27:12,230 --> 00:27:14,064 UP AGAINST EACH OTHER. 643 00:27:14,066 --> 00:27:17,201 OKAY, JUST LIKE LITTLE CHICKEN STRIPS, THERE YOU GO. 644 00:27:17,203 --> 00:27:20,037 LET ME GET SOME LIGHT. MOVE TO THE RIGHT SOME. MOVE TO THE RIGHT. 645 00:27:20,039 --> 00:27:23,140 RIGHT, NOW YOU'RE A TIGER. TIGERS. 646 00:27:23,142 --> 00:27:24,842 RAWR! ( laughs ) 647 00:27:24,844 --> 00:27:27,845 ALL RIGHT, YOU A CHEETAH. 648 00:27:27,847 --> 00:27:31,115 YOU A JAGUAR. YOU A LEOPARD. OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 649 00:27:31,117 --> 00:27:33,384 ( growling ) 650 00:27:38,123 --> 00:27:42,026 HO HO HO! SWEET! 651 00:27:42,028 --> 00:27:43,894 MAN, THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY. SO MANY TITTIES, 652 00:27:43,896 --> 00:27:45,429 I JUST WANTED TO RUN DOWN AND GO... 653 00:27:45,431 --> 00:27:46,897 NICE. 654 00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:48,399 MAN, IT WAS FUCKING TITSVILLE. 655 00:27:48,401 --> 00:27:50,367 SO, WHO'D YOU END UP WITH, AARON? 656 00:27:50,369 --> 00:27:53,270 I ENDED UP WITH THE BLONDIE. UH, COURTNEY. SHE'S SO COOL. 657 00:27:53,272 --> 00:27:55,372 DUDE, I NEARLY MADE OUT WITH THAT ASIAN CHICK. 658 00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:57,274 YEAH, MAN, AND I WAS SNUGGLING UP 659 00:27:57,276 --> 00:27:59,443 WITH SOME OF THE FIRMEST, SMALLEST LITTLE TITTIES 660 00:27:59,445 --> 00:28:01,111 YOU EVER WANNA GET UP AGAINST, MAN. 661 00:28:01,113 --> 00:28:03,747 WAIT. "NEARLY MADE OUT WITH"? "SNUGGLING"? 662 00:28:03,749 --> 00:28:05,249 ARE YOU GUYS IN JUNIOR HIGH? 663 00:28:05,251 --> 00:28:08,118 OKAY, WAIT. NONE OF YOU GOT LAID OUT OF THIS? 664 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:09,687 FOR CHRISSAKES, YOU BROUGHT 'EM BACK, 665 00:28:09,689 --> 00:28:11,889 YOU GOT 'EM FUCKED UP-- WHAT HAPPENED? 666 00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:13,157 WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY BOOZE. 667 00:28:13,159 --> 00:28:14,725 YEAH, I BROKE OUT MY VAPORIZER, BUT-- 668 00:28:14,727 --> 00:28:16,827 OKAY, NO BOOZE? WHY NOT? 669 00:28:16,829 --> 00:28:19,730 WHAT IS THIS, AMATEUR HOUR? AND, WHAT, A VAPORIZER? 670 00:28:19,732 --> 00:28:21,732 NO, JOHNNY! I USE VAPORIZER! 671 00:28:21,734 --> 00:28:22,933 OF COURSE YOU DO, SWEETHEART. 672 00:28:22,935 --> 00:28:24,435 I LIKE. IT'S GREAT. 673 00:28:24,437 --> 00:28:26,136 IT'S GREAT FOR WASTING WEED. 674 00:28:26,138 --> 00:28:28,939 NO. NO, NO, NO. YOU DON'T DO IT RIGHT. 675 00:28:28,941 --> 00:28:31,442 YOU HAVE TO SUCK HARD. I SUCK HARD. 676 00:28:31,444 --> 00:28:34,044 I SUCK SO HARD. YOU KNOW I SUCK GOOD. 677 00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:35,412 YEAH, I KNOW YOU DO, SWEETHEART. 678 00:28:35,414 --> 00:28:37,314 YOU'RE SO BAD. YOU'RE BAD. 679 00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:39,116 YOU'RE BAD. EVIL. 680 00:28:39,118 --> 00:28:40,951 MAX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING SMOKING A BLUNT FOR? 681 00:28:40,953 --> 00:28:43,887 WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS COOL TO SMOKE HERE. 682 00:28:43,889 --> 00:28:46,323 CLAUDIA. TIME FOR MY MEDICINE. 683 00:28:46,325 --> 00:28:49,460 LOOK AT THIS SHIT. THIS IS COLD-SORE CHRONIC. 684 00:28:49,462 --> 00:28:52,796 I DON'T WANT YOUR HEPATITIS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 685 00:28:52,798 --> 00:28:55,999 THANK YOU, CLAUDIA. 686 00:28:56,001 --> 00:28:58,068 I USE A CARBONITE. 687 00:28:58,070 --> 00:29:00,938 YOU GRIND IT UP FINE, THE WATER COOLS THE SMOKE, 688 00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:02,106 AND THE CARBON TRAPS THE GUNK. 689 00:29:02,108 --> 00:29:03,273 HERE, CHECK IT. 690 00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:07,377 BLACK SMOKE IN... 691 00:29:07,379 --> 00:29:10,214 WHITE SMOKE OUT. 692 00:29:10,216 --> 00:29:13,350 IT'S A MONSTER HIT, NO COUGHING. 693 00:29:13,352 --> 00:29:16,153 I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS HOW YOU GET HER PROPERLY STONED. 694 00:29:16,155 --> 00:29:17,321 THANKS, CLAUDIA. 695 00:29:17,323 --> 00:29:18,522 Max: OH, MAN, THAT'S TIGHT. 696 00:29:18,524 --> 00:29:20,991 SO, ALL RIGHT, WELL, NEXT TIME-- 697 00:29:20,993 --> 00:29:22,426 NO, NO, NO. NO NEXT TIME. 698 00:29:22,428 --> 00:29:24,461 LATE-NIGHT WEED IS ONLY GONNA GET HER 699 00:29:24,463 --> 00:29:26,163 HUNGRY OR TIRED OR PARANOID. 700 00:29:26,165 --> 00:29:27,531 WELL, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? 701 00:29:27,533 --> 00:29:30,534 WEED IS FOR DAYTIME. COKE IS FOR NIGHTTIME. 702 00:29:30,536 --> 00:29:32,102 YEAH, MAN, BUT WE DON'T REALLY DO COKE. 703 00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:34,238 I DO. SINCE WHEN? 704 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,307 WELL, YOU DO NOW MAX. YOU'RE A BIG BOY. 705 00:29:37,309 --> 00:29:39,276 IT'S NOT LIKE I'M ASKING YOU TO SHOOT UP IN YOUR EYEBALL! 706 00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:40,511 I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT. 707 00:29:40,513 --> 00:29:43,847 OKAY, JOHNNY, ALL DONE. YOU LIKE? 708 00:29:43,849 --> 00:29:45,048 I LIKE. THANK YOU. 709 00:29:45,050 --> 00:29:46,817 OKAY, NOW I HAVE TO WAX YOUR BALLS. 710 00:29:46,819 --> 00:29:47,985 OKAY, GO, GO, GO. 711 00:29:47,987 --> 00:29:50,320 I HAVE TO WAX YOUR BALLS. 712 00:29:57,862 --> 00:29:59,496 MAN, THESE CLOTHES, COKE... 713 00:29:59,498 --> 00:30:01,431 WE'RE TURNING INTO HOLLYWOOD DOUCHEBAGS. 714 00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:03,133 HEY, MAN, THAT'S HOW WE GONNA GET THAT HOLLYWOOD TAIL, MAN. 715 00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:04,134 RIGHT ON. 716 00:30:04,136 --> 00:30:05,569 "THE MALE G-SPOT..." 717 00:30:05,571 --> 00:30:08,172 ISN'T THAT HIS DICK? NO, IT'S HIS TAINT. 718 00:30:08,174 --> 00:30:11,175 IT'S RIGHT BETWEEN THE SCHLONG AND THE TURKEY GOBBLE. 719 00:30:11,177 --> 00:30:13,277 ( laughing ) 720 00:30:13,279 --> 00:30:16,113 NO, IT'S IN HIS ASSHOLE. 721 00:30:16,115 --> 00:30:17,381 NASTY. 722 00:30:17,383 --> 00:30:20,417 YOU GUYS LOOK SO CUTE. LOOK. 723 00:30:20,419 --> 00:30:22,019 LET ME SEE. 724 00:30:22,021 --> 00:30:24,555 AHH, THIS LOOKS LIKE SUCH A FUN NIGHT. 725 00:30:24,557 --> 00:30:26,290 IT WAS OK. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUN, 726 00:30:26,292 --> 00:30:29,159 BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY BOOZE OR DRUGS OR ANYTHING. 727 00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:31,461 OH, I KNOW A GUY WE CAN BUY SOME DRUGS FROM. 728 00:30:31,463 --> 00:30:35,032 SWEETIE...WE'RE THE REASON WHY GUYS BUY DRUGS. 729 00:30:35,034 --> 00:30:38,302 AND IT'S NOT JUST DRUGS. BEING HOT IS REALLY EXPENSIVE. 730 00:30:38,304 --> 00:30:41,138 EVERY PENNY COUNTS. WENDY, SHOW HER THE SCALE. 731 00:30:43,408 --> 00:30:46,210 A BAG OF WEED AND A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT IS DOWN AT THE BOTTOM. 732 00:30:46,212 --> 00:30:48,111 FLASH THEM, YOU LET THEM JERK OFF. 733 00:30:48,113 --> 00:30:49,980 AND SOME COKE OR A BOTTLE OF XANAX, 734 00:30:49,982 --> 00:30:51,348 AND THEY MIGHT GET A HANDJOB. 735 00:30:51,350 --> 00:30:53,917 SHOES OVER 500 BUCKS, AND THEY MIGHT GET LAID. 736 00:30:53,919 --> 00:30:56,086 IF YOU LIKE THE GUY. 737 00:30:56,088 --> 00:30:57,387 STRIPPER SHOES, AND THEY MIGHT GET 738 00:30:57,389 --> 00:30:59,289 TO SUCK A NIPPLE AND BEAT OFF... 739 00:30:59,291 --> 00:31:02,492 NOW, IF IT'S A DAY AT THE SPA, THAT COULD BE A BLOW JOB. 740 00:31:02,494 --> 00:31:04,461 OR IF THEY HELP YOU MOVE, THAT COULD BE ONE, TOO. 741 00:31:04,463 --> 00:31:07,030 OKAY, BUT THAT'S ONLY IF YOU'RE IN THE MOOD TO SUCK COCK. 742 00:31:07,032 --> 00:31:10,934 OF COURSE. WHAT IS IT, COURTNEY? 743 00:31:10,936 --> 00:31:16,340 UM, I DON'T KNOW. IT'S KIND OF LIKE WE'RE PROSTITUTES. 744 00:31:16,342 --> 00:31:18,008 ( laughter ) 745 00:31:18,010 --> 00:31:19,076 WHAT'S YOUR POINT? 746 00:31:19,078 --> 00:31:22,346 HEY! PRIVATE PARTY! 747 00:31:22,348 --> 00:31:26,950 ONCH. BACK IN YOUR ROOM. WHERE YOU BELONG. GO. 748 00:31:26,952 --> 00:31:28,619 OHH, TENANTS! 749 00:31:28,621 --> 00:31:30,621 LOOK, GIRLS, IT'S NOT AN EVEN PLAYING FIELD. 750 00:31:30,623 --> 00:31:33,056 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HEARD ABOUT A GUY 751 00:31:33,058 --> 00:31:34,958 WHO WAS TRYING TO JUGGLE A CAREER AND A FAMILY? 752 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,028 I MEAN, RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE CUTE AND YOUNG. THANKS! 753 00:31:38,030 --> 00:31:40,364 BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SPEND TO KEEP UP THE HOTNESS AS YOU AGE. 754 00:31:40,366 --> 00:31:42,633 HOW MUCH IS THAT? A LOT. 755 00:31:42,635 --> 00:31:45,636 AND UNLESS YOU WANT TO END UP AS STRETCH-MARKED SINGLE MOTHER 756 00:31:45,638 --> 00:31:48,672 WITH A WASTOID HUSBAND WHO'S IN A BAND, 757 00:31:48,674 --> 00:31:50,974 WHO CAN'T PAY CHILD SUPPORT OR ALIMONY, 758 00:31:50,976 --> 00:31:52,542 YOU BETTER TO GET THAT MONEY. 759 00:31:52,544 --> 00:31:54,011 I'M GOING TO TINKLE. 760 00:31:55,413 --> 00:31:57,648 THAT'S WHAT THE T.O.B. CLUB IS ALL ABOUT. 761 00:31:57,650 --> 00:32:00,117 HOW DO YOU THINK WENDY GOT US OUR HOUSE? 762 00:32:00,119 --> 00:32:01,585 I DON'T KNOW, HOW? 763 00:32:01,587 --> 00:32:03,520 WELL, SHE WAS WORKING AT THIS TECH FIRM, 764 00:32:03,522 --> 00:32:05,489 AND SHE STARTED SLEEPING WITH THE OWNER... 765 00:32:05,491 --> 00:32:07,090 AS WE ALL DO. 766 00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:09,126 AND I THINK HE LIKED HER, 767 00:32:09,128 --> 00:32:11,628 AND THEY BECAME VERY CLOSE. I THINK HE EVEN LOVED HER. 768 00:32:11,630 --> 00:32:12,930 OHH! 769 00:32:12,932 --> 00:32:14,665 BUT HE WAS OLD, AND HE WAS JEWISH. 770 00:32:14,667 --> 00:32:15,999 OHH. 771 00:32:16,001 --> 00:32:17,367 YEAH. YEAH. 772 00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:25,042 AVI... HI. 773 00:32:25,044 --> 00:32:28,078 HI, HONEY. 774 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,546 I'VE FOUND THE PERFECT ONE. 775 00:32:29,548 --> 00:32:32,316 YEAH, YEAH, SURE. NICE, NICE. 776 00:32:32,318 --> 00:32:33,684 NO...LOOK. 777 00:32:33,686 --> 00:32:35,719 NOT NOW. 778 00:32:35,721 --> 00:32:38,422 OH, AVI, YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY. 779 00:32:38,424 --> 00:32:40,324 YOU SHOULD JUST BUY ME A HOUSE. 780 00:32:40,326 --> 00:32:42,225 I'M NOT BUYING YOU A HOUSE. 781 00:32:42,227 --> 00:32:45,963 WELL, THE DOWN PAYMENT AT LEAST. 782 00:32:45,965 --> 00:32:48,198 I COULD GET ROOMMATES TO PAY FOR THE MORTGAGE. 783 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,200 WELL, WELL, IT WOULD APPRECIATE... 784 00:32:50,202 --> 00:32:52,569 THE MARKET'S UP... MAYBE. 785 00:32:52,571 --> 00:32:54,671 AND IT'D BE IN MY NAME, RIGHT? 786 00:32:54,673 --> 00:32:56,974 DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. IT'LL BE IN MY NAME. 787 00:32:56,976 --> 00:32:59,509 NO, MY NAME. 788 00:32:59,511 --> 00:33:02,112 LOOK, I BUY YOU ENOUGH STUFF ALREADY. 789 00:33:02,114 --> 00:33:04,147 BUT YOU PROMISED AFTER A YEAR, YOU'D BUY ME A HOUSE. 790 00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:05,215 NO WAY DID I SAY THAT! 791 00:33:05,217 --> 00:33:06,483 YES, YOU DID! YOU PROMISED! 792 00:33:06,485 --> 00:33:08,318 NO WAY, I'M NOT BUYING YOU NO HOUSE! 793 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,253 FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLE LIAR! 794 00:33:10,255 --> 00:33:12,756 FUCK YOU! NO! OW! OW! 795 00:33:15,259 --> 00:33:18,028 MY PLUG! YOU FUCKING LITTLE BITCH! 796 00:33:18,030 --> 00:33:19,429 I'M NOT BUYING YOU ANYTHING! 797 00:33:19,431 --> 00:33:22,199 OWW! WRITE ME THE FUCKING CHECK. 798 00:33:22,201 --> 00:33:24,534 FUCK YOU. 799 00:33:24,536 --> 00:33:27,237 ( gasps ) LOOK WHAT YOU DID! 800 00:33:27,239 --> 00:33:28,572 I'M CALLING THE POLICE. 801 00:33:28,574 --> 00:33:30,240 GO AHEAD, CALL THEM. 802 00:33:30,242 --> 00:33:31,775 AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'LL CALL THEM, 803 00:33:31,777 --> 00:33:33,643 AND I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED. 804 00:33:33,645 --> 00:33:36,646 OH, YEAH, WHO ARE THEY GOING TO BELIEVE, A 90-POUND LITTLE GIRL 805 00:33:36,648 --> 00:33:40,050 OR AN OLD MAN WITH TWO DUIs WHO'S BEEN SEXUALLY HARASSING ME AT WORK? 806 00:33:40,052 --> 00:33:43,553 "I'M SORRY, OFFICER, SHE PULLED MY HAIR, SO I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HER." 807 00:33:43,555 --> 00:33:45,055 GIVE ME THAT! 808 00:33:45,057 --> 00:33:46,256 GIVE IT! GIVE ME IT! 809 00:33:46,258 --> 00:33:47,257 GIVE IT, I'LL SCREAM. 810 00:33:47,259 --> 00:33:48,592 GO AHEAD, SCREAM. 811 00:33:48,594 --> 00:33:50,727 IT'S SWELLING UP! 812 00:33:50,729 --> 00:33:53,597 YOU KNOW I'M A MODEL. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO WORK AGAIN? 813 00:33:53,599 --> 00:33:55,399 I NEVER LAID A HAND ON YOU. 814 00:33:55,401 --> 00:33:57,300 OH, YEAH. LET'S SEE WHAT THE JUDGE HAS TO SAY ABOUT THAT. 815 00:33:57,302 --> 00:33:58,668 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WE'LL SEE WHAT THE JUDGE SAYS"? 816 00:33:58,670 --> 00:34:01,071 I NEVER TOUCHED YOU. YES, YOU DID, YOU BASTARD! 817 00:34:01,073 --> 00:34:03,407 OH, MAN, FORGET WITH THE PICTURES. I DIDN'T TOUCH YOU. 818 00:34:03,409 --> 00:34:05,042 I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS. 819 00:34:06,344 --> 00:34:10,280 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. YOU WIN. YOU WIN. 820 00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:11,748 I'M GETTING OUT MY CHECKBOOK. I'M GONNA WRITE YOU THE CHECK. 821 00:34:11,750 --> 00:34:13,750 GOOD. YOU SHOULD. 822 00:34:13,752 --> 00:34:16,353 NOW YOU GET YOUR STUFF, YOU PACK IT UP, 823 00:34:16,355 --> 00:34:18,622 AND YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE. 824 00:34:18,624 --> 00:34:19,623 JUST SIGN IT. 825 00:34:19,625 --> 00:34:21,792 HERE'S YOUR CHECK. 826 00:34:23,828 --> 00:34:27,731 IT'S WORTH A MEASLY HUNDRED GRAND JUST TO GET RID OF YOU, 827 00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:30,100 YOU SPITEFUL LITTLE CUNT. 828 00:34:30,102 --> 00:34:32,402 BUT THEY CAME UP WITH A HAPPY SOLUTION, 829 00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:34,638 AND THEY BOTH GOT WHAT THEY WANTED. 830 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,106 AS WE ALL SHOULD. 831 00:34:38,276 --> 00:34:39,443 OKAY, LADIES... 832 00:34:39,445 --> 00:34:42,412 OHH! OHH! WHAT IS THAT? 833 00:34:42,414 --> 00:34:45,115 SEX TIP OF THE WEEK... 834 00:34:45,117 --> 00:34:48,852 "TO DRIVE YOUR MAN CRAZY, PLACE THE DONUT OVER THE SHAFT 835 00:34:48,854 --> 00:34:52,289 AND GENTLY NIBBLE IT OFF." 836 00:34:52,291 --> 00:34:54,524 OKAY, WHO WANTS TO HELP? 837 00:34:54,526 --> 00:34:58,829 UH, LYRIC AND PAGE. COME ON. 838 00:34:58,831 --> 00:35:02,732 ( chanting ) DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! 839 00:35:02,734 --> 00:35:05,535 ( indistinct shouting ) 840 00:35:10,174 --> 00:35:14,211 DUDE, JOHNNY'S GUY IS NOT FUCKING AROUND. THIS SHIT IS NICE. 841 00:35:14,213 --> 00:35:16,346 YEAH, LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE BABY GLACIER. 842 00:35:16,348 --> 00:35:18,615 THEY CALL IT FISH SCALE, LIKE WHEN IT GLISTENS, YOU KNOW. 843 00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:20,450 MAN, IF WE START SELLING THIS SHIT, 844 00:35:20,452 --> 00:35:22,619 THEN I COULD ACTUALLY RAP ABOUT IT. 845 00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:24,688 ♪ YEAH, RIBBITY RAP RAP, RAP ABOUT IT ♪ 846 00:35:24,690 --> 00:35:26,490 DUDE, WE MAY NOT EVEN HAVE TO SELL IT. 847 00:35:26,492 --> 00:35:29,259 THAT GIRL GRETCHEN CALLED ME. SHE WANTS TO GET SOME OF THIS. 848 00:35:29,261 --> 00:35:31,294 I'M THINKING I MIGHT GET SOME OF THAT. HA. 849 00:35:31,296 --> 00:35:33,163 ♪ LOOK AT THIS LITTLE ROCK OF COKE ♪ 850 00:35:33,165 --> 00:35:34,764 ♪ IT LOOKS LIKE A BABY GLACIER 851 00:35:34,766 --> 00:35:37,467 ♪ I MIGHT GIVE YOU SOME IF YOU HIT ME ON THE PAGER ♪ 852 00:35:37,469 --> 00:35:38,902 ♪ HIT YOU UP LATER 853 00:35:38,904 --> 00:35:42,906 OH, I'M ONTO SOME SHIT RIGHT HERE. RIGHT? 854 00:35:42,908 --> 00:35:44,674 I HATE IT. 855 00:35:44,676 --> 00:35:46,209 YOU NEED TO STOP HATIN' 'CAUSE YOU CANT RAP. 856 00:35:46,211 --> 00:35:47,911 I'M NOT--WHY AM I A HATER ALL OF A SUDDEN? 857 00:35:47,913 --> 00:35:50,780 DON'T WORRY, YVONNE, YOU'LL GET THE HANG OF IT, 858 00:35:50,782 --> 00:35:52,516 BUT FIRST WE HAVE TO FIX THESE. 859 00:35:52,518 --> 00:35:54,284 I'M FINE WITH THEM THE WAY THEY ARE. 860 00:35:54,286 --> 00:35:56,486 I KNOW, SWEETIE, BUT DID THE DOCTOR CALL? 861 00:35:56,488 --> 00:35:59,289 YEAH. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO OUT NEXT WEEK, BUT WHAT DO I DO? 862 00:35:59,291 --> 00:36:02,425 IT'S EASY. HE'S A DOG, SO JUST THROW HIM A BONE. 863 00:36:02,427 --> 00:36:04,728 HE DID BOTH OF OURS, AND ELLE'S. 864 00:36:04,730 --> 00:36:07,197 ( sighs ) 865 00:36:07,199 --> 00:36:09,566 WHAT SIZE WOULD I GET? 866 00:36:09,568 --> 00:36:12,435 SIZE DOESN'T MATTER, SWEETIE. 867 00:36:12,437 --> 00:36:13,603 MINE ARE RELATIVELY SMALL. 868 00:36:13,605 --> 00:36:14,871 MINE ARE BIG. 869 00:36:14,873 --> 00:36:16,239 BUT WE DON'T DISCRIMINATE HERE. 870 00:36:16,241 --> 00:36:17,874 GUYS LIKE GIRLS WITH IMPLANTS, 871 00:36:17,876 --> 00:36:19,776 AND WE DIDN'T GET THEM DONE TO PUT THEM AWAY. 872 00:36:19,778 --> 00:36:21,378 SO WHEN IS YOUR DATE? 873 00:36:21,380 --> 00:36:22,846 THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. 874 00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:25,482 OKAY, SO GO OUT TO DINNER WITH HIM, 875 00:36:25,484 --> 00:36:27,317 AND LET HIM TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT HE IS 876 00:36:27,319 --> 00:36:28,919 AND LAUGH AT ALL OF HIS STUPID JOKES. 877 00:36:28,921 --> 00:36:32,589 "OHH, OH, OH, IT HURTS, IT HURTS!" 878 00:36:32,591 --> 00:36:38,195 "WELL, MRS. PLOTNICK, I THINK YOU GOT A BROKEN FINGER." 879 00:36:38,197 --> 00:36:39,596 ( laughing ) 880 00:36:39,598 --> 00:36:41,364 YOU'RE SO FUNNY! 881 00:36:41,366 --> 00:36:42,699 WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 882 00:36:42,701 --> 00:36:45,235 I WORK IN THE RESEARCH LAB FOR A WHILE... 883 00:36:45,237 --> 00:36:46,403 Big Wendy: TOUCH HIM A LITTLE BIT. 884 00:36:46,405 --> 00:36:48,972 YOU'RE SO SMART. 885 00:36:48,974 --> 00:36:50,707 YOU HAVE A PIECE OF PAPER HERE. 886 00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:53,310 YOU ISOLATE THE TISSUE FROM THE RAT. 887 00:36:53,312 --> 00:36:54,878 Little Wendy: HE'S GOING TO INVITE YOU BACK TO HIS PLACE. 888 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,379 Yvonne: DO I GO? 889 00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:57,714 Little Wendy: OF COURSE. 890 00:36:57,716 --> 00:36:59,749 YOU'RE A MOUSE KILLER. 891 00:36:59,751 --> 00:37:01,518 Big Wendy: IT'S $8,000 OTHERWISE... 892 00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,853 PER TATA! LOOK AT YOU! 893 00:37:03,855 --> 00:37:05,689 Little Wendy: SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HIS CAR. 894 00:37:05,691 --> 00:37:08,558 Big Wendy: OH, THEY LOVE THEIR CARS. 895 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:12,562 OH, MY GOD. I LOVE YOUR CAR, BY THE WAY. 896 00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:14,297 IT IS SO HOT. 897 00:37:14,299 --> 00:37:15,532 SO WHERE ARE WE GOING? 898 00:37:15,534 --> 00:37:17,234 HOW ABOUT YOUR PLACE? 899 00:37:17,236 --> 00:37:18,468 AND THEN? 900 00:37:18,470 --> 00:37:22,505 AND THEN I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU... 901 00:37:22,507 --> 00:37:24,975 Little Wendy: ...AND GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. 902 00:37:24,977 --> 00:37:26,576 ( whispering ) 903 00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:29,346 ...LIKE, ALL OVER MY FACE AND LIPS. 904 00:37:29,348 --> 00:37:32,482 OH, BABY, THAT'S SO HOT. 905 00:37:32,484 --> 00:37:37,020 Yvonne: EWWW. DO I REALLY HAVE TO DO IT? 906 00:37:39,023 --> 00:37:42,792 OF COURSE NOT, BUT YOU WANNA KEEP HIS HEAD IN THE GAME. 907 00:37:42,794 --> 00:37:44,961 EVERY MAN HAS SOMETHING THAT DRIVES HIM CRAZY. 908 00:37:44,963 --> 00:37:50,033 DR. EUGENE IS A NEAT FREAK, METROSEXUAL, BUT, LIKE, TOO MUCH, YOU KNOW? 909 00:37:50,035 --> 00:37:51,701 Big Wendy: HE'S A CLEAN FREAK 910 00:37:51,703 --> 00:37:53,436 IN THE TRUEST SENSE OF THE WORD. 911 00:37:53,438 --> 00:37:54,971 BUT USE THAT AGAINST HIM. 912 00:37:54,973 --> 00:37:57,607 MAKE A MESS, BEND OVER AND CLEAN IT UP. 913 00:37:57,609 --> 00:37:59,676 HE'LL BE WET SOAP IN YOUR HANDS... 914 00:37:59,678 --> 00:38:04,447 IT IS SO HOOKED UP. AND I LOVE THE WAY YOU DECORATED THE PLACE, TOO. 915 00:38:04,449 --> 00:38:06,283 IT IS SO NEAT. 916 00:38:06,285 --> 00:38:08,351 I LIKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS. 917 00:38:08,353 --> 00:38:12,455 AND IT IS SO CLEAN, TOO. I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS TABLE... 918 00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:15,058 YOU COULD PRACTICALLY DO OPERATIONS OFF OF IT. 919 00:38:15,060 --> 00:38:17,894 ONLY MY THOUGHTS ARE DIRTY, MY DEAR YVONNE. 920 00:38:17,896 --> 00:38:22,432 EXCEPT FOR THIS. I MEAN, IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR KNOB IS A LITTLE DIRTY. 921 00:38:22,434 --> 00:38:25,535 DO YOU MIND IF I JUST... POLISH YOUR KNOB? 922 00:38:25,537 --> 00:38:26,603 ( blows air ) 923 00:38:33,678 --> 00:38:37,414 A KNOB CANNOT BE TOO SHINY IN MY BOOK. 924 00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:39,716 OH, YEAH, WELL, I LOVE TO CLEAN, TOO. 925 00:38:39,718 --> 00:38:42,786 I'M A BIT OF A FREAK ABOUT IT ACTUALLY. I HOPE THAT'S OKAY. 926 00:38:42,788 --> 00:38:47,590 LOOK AT THIS MESS. WHY DON'T I HELP YOU OUT AND CLEAN THIS FOR YOU? 927 00:38:47,592 --> 00:38:49,726 ( whirring ) 928 00:38:51,062 --> 00:38:55,732 LET ME SEE HOW THIS FEELS! OHH...I LIKE THAT. 929 00:38:55,734 --> 00:39:02,539 YEAH... I USE THE HOSE ATTACHMENT. IT'S MY GUILTY PLEASURE. 930 00:39:02,541 --> 00:39:04,708 I'M SURE YOU DO. 931 00:39:04,710 --> 00:39:06,409 ( whirring stops ) 932 00:39:06,411 --> 00:39:10,447 OH, LOOK AT THAT DIRTY GLASS. LET ME HANDLE THAT FOR YOU. 933 00:39:10,449 --> 00:39:11,781 THAT'S AMAZING! 934 00:39:11,783 --> 00:39:14,517 OKAY, WELL, I DON'T WANT TO GET MY DRESS WET, 935 00:39:14,519 --> 00:39:17,053 SO I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE IT OFF. 936 00:39:20,424 --> 00:39:22,759 ( singing in foreign language ) 937 00:39:30,067 --> 00:39:36,906 WOW. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU'RE ALMOST PERFECT. 938 00:39:36,908 --> 00:39:38,808 ALMOST? 939 00:39:38,810 --> 00:39:41,578 WITH A LITTLE SHAPING HERE AND THERE... 940 00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:44,581 REALLY? BECAUSE I'M PRETTY HAPPY WITH HOW I AM NATURALLY. 941 00:39:44,583 --> 00:39:45,915 THEY ALWAYS LOOK SO FAKE. 942 00:39:45,917 --> 00:39:47,784 OH, NOT IF I DO IT. 943 00:39:47,786 --> 00:39:52,455 I'M THE BEST. LATEST TECHNIQUES, TINY INCISIONS, 944 00:39:52,457 --> 00:39:56,693 ATRAUMATIC PROCEDURES... NO BRUISING AT ALL. 945 00:39:56,695 --> 00:39:58,695 ALL RIGHT, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. 946 00:39:58,697 --> 00:40:00,930 YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT, LOVE IT. 947 00:40:00,932 --> 00:40:02,866 RIGHT NOW, I'D LOVE A DRINK. 948 00:40:02,868 --> 00:40:04,634 OH, YOU WILL HAVE THAT. 949 00:40:04,636 --> 00:40:08,505 NOT IF I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU. ( laughs ) 950 00:40:08,507 --> 00:40:10,073 HERE YOU GO. 951 00:40:10,075 --> 00:40:12,776 Little Wendy: AND THEN JUST SEAL THE DEAL. 952 00:40:12,778 --> 00:40:14,411 ( clink ) 953 00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:19,082 NO, I REALLY SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING NOW. 954 00:40:19,084 --> 00:40:21,885 OH, PLEASE STAY. I'LL DROP YOU IN THE MORNING. 955 00:40:21,887 --> 00:40:26,055 NO, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO NOW. 956 00:40:26,057 --> 00:40:28,758 BEFORE YOU GO DO YOU MIND IF I... 957 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,628 WHAT? TAKE A BITE OUT OF CRIME? 958 00:40:31,630 --> 00:40:33,596 YEAH. 959 00:40:33,598 --> 00:40:35,432 GO AHEAD. 960 00:40:36,801 --> 00:40:41,070 OHH! WHOA! THAT'S FORWARD! 961 00:40:41,072 --> 00:40:43,606 DO YOU MIND IF I... TOUCH MYSELF? 962 00:40:43,608 --> 00:40:45,708 WHY DON'T I HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT? 963 00:40:50,014 --> 00:40:53,049 ( singing in foreign language ) 964 00:40:53,051 --> 00:40:55,585 LET ME GET MY PANTS OFF. 965 00:40:58,856 --> 00:41:02,125 SO CLEAN... I KNOW HOW YOU LIKE THAT SOAP. 966 00:41:02,127 --> 00:41:03,460 HERE WE GO. 967 00:41:03,462 --> 00:41:05,762 OHH. 968 00:41:07,531 --> 00:41:09,065 OHH. 969 00:41:09,067 --> 00:41:10,200 YOU LIKE THAT? 970 00:41:10,202 --> 00:41:12,168 OH, YEAH. CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN? 971 00:41:12,170 --> 00:41:13,570 MAYBE. 972 00:41:13,572 --> 00:41:16,940 OHH. SCOUR IT, I DON'T CARE. 973 00:41:16,942 --> 00:41:19,008 YEAH, RUB IT. 974 00:41:19,010 --> 00:41:22,045 BUT IF I SEE YOU AGAIN, WE'LL DEFINITELY BE CLEANING YOUR BEDROOM. 975 00:41:22,047 --> 00:41:23,680 BEDROOM. YEAH. 976 00:41:23,682 --> 00:41:25,682 DIRTY BEDROOM. DIRTY BEDROOM. 977 00:41:25,684 --> 00:41:29,085 MUD TRACKING IN FROM OUTSIDE. OH, YEAH! 978 00:41:29,087 --> 00:41:31,221 DR. EUGENE! WHOO! 979 00:41:31,223 --> 00:41:34,224 SO HOW MUCH IS IT? 980 00:41:34,226 --> 00:41:36,826 TWO GRAMS... ONE HUNDRED. 981 00:41:36,828 --> 00:41:40,864 HMM, WELL, I DON'T HAVE THE WHOLE HUNDRED... 982 00:41:40,866 --> 00:41:42,632 BUT I HAVE THESE. 983 00:41:44,235 --> 00:41:46,236 I ACCEPT THOSE. 984 00:41:46,238 --> 00:41:48,605 Max: ALL RIGHT, REMEMBER WHAT JOHNNY EYELASH SAID... 985 00:41:48,607 --> 00:41:50,673 DIVIDE AND CONQUER. 986 00:41:50,675 --> 00:41:52,275 ( women talking indistinctly ) 987 00:41:52,277 --> 00:41:53,843 I HAVE THE SAME DRESS. 988 00:41:53,845 --> 00:41:59,516 ( women talking indistinctly ) 989 00:41:59,518 --> 00:42:00,650 HEY. HEY. 990 00:42:00,652 --> 00:42:02,218 HEY. HOW'S IT GOIN'? 991 00:42:02,220 --> 00:42:03,686 SO IT'S PRETTY GOOD, HUH? 992 00:42:03,688 --> 00:42:05,288 YEAH, IT WAS OKAY. 993 00:42:05,290 --> 00:42:06,556 SO DO YOU HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW? 994 00:42:06,558 --> 00:42:08,691 NO. WELL, NOT UNTIL 6 P.M. 995 00:42:08,693 --> 00:42:11,227 OKAY, DO YOU WANNA GET OUT OF HERE? WE COULD SHARE A CAB. 996 00:42:11,229 --> 00:42:13,830 NO. LET'S GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE AND PARTY. 997 00:42:13,832 --> 00:42:15,765 AWESOME. OKAY. 998 00:42:15,767 --> 00:42:17,166 SO YOU WANNA GO BACK TO MY SPOT 999 00:42:17,168 --> 00:42:20,236 AND LEAVE THESE LOVEBIRDS TO DO THEIR THING? 1000 00:42:20,238 --> 00:42:21,304 DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE AT HOME? 1001 00:42:21,306 --> 00:42:22,739 YEAH. A GRIP. 1002 00:42:22,741 --> 00:42:25,608 OKAY. BUT NO FUNNY STUFF. 1003 00:42:25,610 --> 00:42:28,645 I KNOW. ( scoffs ) 1004 00:42:28,647 --> 00:42:30,713 ( indistinct chattering ) 1005 00:42:37,154 --> 00:42:39,088 DAMN. AHH. 1006 00:42:39,090 --> 00:42:41,891 NICE TOUCH. AHEM. 1007 00:42:44,028 --> 00:42:47,797 MY SISTER AND HER FRIENDS, THEY'RE ALL INTO THIS POSITIVE THINKING. 1008 00:42:47,799 --> 00:42:50,867 THERE'S THIS ONE GIRL CARLY-- SHE WALKS AROUND WITH A BLACK CLOUD OVER HER HEAD, 1009 00:42:50,869 --> 00:42:54,003 BUT THEN SHE WATCHED THE SECRET, AND I WATCHED THE SECRET WITH MY FRIEND TIESTO. 1010 00:42:54,005 --> 00:42:55,171 YOU KNOW WHO TIESTO IS, RIGHT? 1011 00:42:55,173 --> 00:42:57,340 HUGE D.J. DOES ALL THE BIG PARTIES. 1012 00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:04,314 SO I DON'T LIKE THAT ATKINS DIET. 1013 00:43:04,316 --> 00:43:05,715 THAT'S TOO MANY RULES FOR ME. 1014 00:43:05,717 --> 00:43:06,983 MY BIG THING...JUICING. 1015 00:43:06,985 --> 00:43:08,651 YOU WANNA HEAR THE RECIPE? HERE IT IS. 1016 00:43:08,653 --> 00:43:11,321 THIS IS WHAT I USE. I USE KALE, I USE SWISS CHARD... 1017 00:43:11,323 --> 00:43:12,989 GIVES IT A ZING, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT? 1018 00:43:12,991 --> 00:43:15,758 THEN MY DOCTOR, HE'S LIKE, YOU CANT USE SUGAR. 1019 00:43:18,195 --> 00:43:20,697 ( cash register dings ) 1020 00:44:08,812 --> 00:44:11,180 ( whistling ) 1021 00:44:18,922 --> 00:44:20,990 YEAH, THIS ONE, THIS IS WHEN I WAS IN FRANCE. 1022 00:44:20,992 --> 00:44:23,726 REALLY AWESOME TRIP. YOU SEE THIS GUY? HE'S PRETTY GOOD-LOOKING, HUH? 1023 00:44:23,728 --> 00:44:25,995 SO GOOD IN BED. YEAH, BUT HE'S A BIT BORING. 1024 00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:27,930 HELL, YES. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 1025 00:44:27,932 --> 00:44:29,132 HEY, YOU GOT ANY MORE BLOW? 1026 00:44:29,134 --> 00:44:30,767 NAH, YOU DID IT ALL. 1027 00:44:30,769 --> 00:44:32,368 CAN I DO THE LAST LINE FOR THE ROAD? UH, YEAH. 1028 00:44:32,370 --> 00:44:34,404 UH, I WAS WONDERING, UH... 1029 00:44:34,406 --> 00:44:37,306 BEFORE YOU LEFT IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND 1030 00:44:37,308 --> 00:44:41,911 IF I JUST LOOK AT YOU AND BEAT OFF TO YOU? 1031 00:44:41,913 --> 00:44:44,247 I SAID NO FUNNY STUFF. 1032 00:44:44,249 --> 00:44:46,315 I MEAN, I KNOW YOU SAID THAT, BUT, YOU KNOW, 1033 00:44:46,317 --> 00:44:48,284 WE STARTED LOOKING AT THE MODELING PICTURES. 1034 00:44:48,286 --> 00:44:50,887 LOOK, I'LL EVEN DO IT OVER HERE. 1035 00:44:50,889 --> 00:44:52,355 OKAY, FINE. 1036 00:44:54,725 --> 00:44:58,428 ALL RIGHT, COME ON, GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT OF ENCOURAGEMENT. 1037 00:44:58,430 --> 00:44:59,996 OH, YEAH. 1038 00:44:59,998 --> 00:45:03,733 YOU ARE AMAZING. 1039 00:45:03,735 --> 00:45:05,101 I KNOW. 1040 00:45:07,971 --> 00:45:11,741 NOW I'M GOING TO GET MY FUCK ON. 1041 00:45:11,743 --> 00:45:12,975 IS THIS GONNA TAKE MUCH LONGER? 1042 00:45:12,977 --> 00:45:14,043 CAN YOU SHOW ME YOUR NIPPLE? 1043 00:45:14,045 --> 00:45:16,913 GOD. 1044 00:45:16,915 --> 00:45:18,715 OH, YES. THAT'LL DO. 1045 00:45:18,717 --> 00:45:20,483 IT'S GETTING LIGHT OUTSIDE. I HATE THAT. 1046 00:45:20,485 --> 00:45:21,851 DO NOT GET ANY OF THAT ON ME. 1047 00:45:21,853 --> 00:45:23,920 ALL RIGHT. AH, THAT'S IT. 1048 00:45:23,922 --> 00:45:26,823 YEAH, IT BETTER BE IT, 'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO TAKE OFF IN A MINUTE. 1049 00:45:26,825 --> 00:45:29,092 LOOK, WOULD YOU JUST STOP TALKING? DAMN! 1050 00:45:29,094 --> 00:45:32,895 DON'T GET PISSY WITH ME. I'M DOING YOU THE FAVOR. ANYWAYS, I'M GETTING COLD. 1051 00:45:32,897 --> 00:45:35,031 UH, LOOK, CAN YOU JUST, UH... 1052 00:45:35,033 --> 00:45:37,033 SHOW ME A LITTLE PIECE OF YOUR ASS? 1053 00:45:37,035 --> 00:45:38,901 JUST THE TOP PIECE, AND I SWEAR I'LL COME QUICK. 1054 00:45:38,903 --> 00:45:40,136 OH, GOD. 1055 00:45:41,105 --> 00:45:42,271 THANK YOU. 1056 00:45:42,273 --> 00:45:44,974 AHH. OH, YEAH, THANK YOU. 1057 00:45:44,976 --> 00:45:46,976 CAN YOU PLEASE HURRY UP? THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG. I'M ABOUT TO COME RIGHT NOW. 1058 00:45:46,978 --> 00:45:49,445 YEAH, YOU BETTER BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO GET OUT OF HERE, OKAY? 1059 00:45:49,447 --> 00:45:51,848 I GOTTA WALK MY DOG. LITTLE DOG SHITS ALL OVER MY KITCHEN NOW. 1060 00:45:51,850 --> 00:45:53,116 UHH! AAH! 1061 00:45:53,118 --> 00:45:55,785 OW! OH, MY GOD! 1062 00:45:55,787 --> 00:45:58,387 WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU ASSHOLE! 1063 00:45:58,389 --> 00:46:00,857 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE KEEP TRACK OF THIS SHIT. 1064 00:46:00,859 --> 00:46:04,127 YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FUCK AGAIN IN THIS TOWN! 1065 00:46:04,129 --> 00:46:07,930 ( laughing ) OH, MY GOD. THAT WAS GREAT. 1066 00:46:07,932 --> 00:46:09,766 I'M SORRY! 1067 00:46:09,768 --> 00:46:12,268 ( laughter ) 1068 00:46:12,270 --> 00:46:14,504 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'? 1069 00:46:14,506 --> 00:46:17,006 ♪ THAT LOQUACIOUS BITCH WENT ON A FRUIT JUICE RAMBLE ♪ 1070 00:46:17,008 --> 00:46:19,542 ♪ I HAD TO WHIP OUT MY DICK AND SHOOT JIZZ LIKE RAMBO ♪ 1071 00:46:19,544 --> 00:46:22,078 ABSOLUTELY. 1072 00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:25,248 SHE DRANK YOU OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME, SHE DID ALL YOUR GEAR, 1073 00:46:25,250 --> 00:46:27,917 AND THE YOU HAD TO LISTEN TO HER STUPID STORIES ALL NIGHT. 1074 00:46:27,919 --> 00:46:29,285 ( buzz ) 1075 00:46:29,287 --> 00:46:30,453 HEY. HEY, JOHNNY. 1076 00:46:30,455 --> 00:46:31,921 ( sighs ) 1077 00:46:31,923 --> 00:46:33,556 SO, WHAT ABOUT YOU, GLEN? 1078 00:46:33,558 --> 00:46:35,825 OH, DUDE, IT HAPPENED JUST LIKE YOU SAID IT WOULD. 1079 00:46:35,827 --> 00:46:37,326 SHE DIDN'T WANT TO PAY FOR IT, 1080 00:46:37,328 --> 00:46:39,095 AND BEFORE YOU CAN SAY, "THREE-DOLLAR COKE WHORE," 1081 00:46:39,097 --> 00:46:41,130 I'M CHEWING ON HER TITS LIKE A SIX-MONTH-OLD BABY. 1082 00:46:41,132 --> 00:46:42,165 ( laughing ) 1083 00:46:42,167 --> 00:46:44,167 NEXT PATIENT, PLEASE. 1084 00:46:44,169 --> 00:46:45,501 ALL RIGHT, THAT'S US, GUYS, COME ON. 1085 00:46:53,043 --> 00:46:55,044 MMM. THAT'S NICE. 1086 00:46:55,046 --> 00:46:56,579 LET ME HAVE A QUARTER. YOU GOT IT. 1087 00:46:56,581 --> 00:46:58,581 DUDE, CAN WE GET SOME? NO, DICKSHINE. 1088 00:46:58,583 --> 00:47:00,216 THIS IS ONLY IF YOU'RE SICK. 1089 00:47:00,218 --> 00:47:03,586 YOU GOTTA GET YOURS THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. OUTSIDE. 1090 00:47:03,588 --> 00:47:05,555 DUDE, THAT'S FUCKED UP. YOU AIN'T SICK, MAN. 1091 00:47:05,557 --> 00:47:08,090 YOU KNOW I WANT SOME OF THIS SHIT. 1092 00:47:08,092 --> 00:47:10,059 HERE. YES! 1093 00:47:10,061 --> 00:47:11,327 I GUESS THIS'LL DO. 1094 00:47:11,329 --> 00:47:14,063 SO, AARON, HOW'D YOUR COKESCAPADE GO? 1095 00:47:14,065 --> 00:47:16,899 MAN, FUCK COKE! YOU KNOW? 1096 00:47:16,901 --> 00:47:18,401 HONESTLY, WE HAD A GREAT NIGHT LAST NIGHT. 1097 00:47:18,403 --> 00:47:21,404 THIS MORNING WE WOKE UP, AND I MADE HER BREAKFAST. 1098 00:47:21,406 --> 00:47:24,507 WE HAD A LOT OF FUN. DUDE, SHE'S A REALLY GOOD GIRL. 1099 00:47:24,509 --> 00:47:28,277 YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I'M GOING TO ASK HER TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND. 1100 00:47:28,279 --> 00:47:31,214 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU'RE ALREADY FUCKING HER! 1101 00:47:31,216 --> 00:47:32,448 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE'S NOT ALL MONEY-GRUBBING. 1102 00:47:32,450 --> 00:47:34,116 YEAH, MAYBE NOT YET, BUT... 1103 00:47:34,118 --> 00:47:38,921 I USED TO BE LIKE YOU. ALL WIDE-EYED AND IN LOVE. 1104 00:47:38,923 --> 00:47:41,257 IT'S OVER! COME ON, WEN, PLEASE! 1105 00:47:41,259 --> 00:47:43,893 DON'T GO WITH THIS BOOB! YOU LIKE MY HAIR AND MY SHOES, 1106 00:47:43,895 --> 00:47:46,095 BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PAY FOR IT WITH YOUR STUPID LYRICS? 1107 00:47:46,097 --> 00:47:49,232 JESUS, WEN, I'M SORRY, OKAY? COME ON. 1108 00:47:49,234 --> 00:47:51,300 GET A JOB, DICKWAD. FUCK YOU, QUEERBURGER! 1109 00:47:52,236 --> 00:47:54,003 WENDY! WENDY! 1110 00:47:54,005 --> 00:47:55,371 COME ON, MAN! 1111 00:47:55,373 --> 00:47:57,206 ...BUT I DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT ANYMORE. 1112 00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:58,641 LISTEN, THEY'RE NOT ALL LIKE THAT, BRO. 1113 00:47:58,643 --> 00:48:00,376 BLAZE OUT, BRO. 1114 00:48:00,378 --> 00:48:02,011 THANK YOU, DOCTOR. 1115 00:48:02,013 --> 00:48:04,113 HERE, COME WITH ME. LET ME SHOW YOU GUYS SOMETHING. 1116 00:48:07,150 --> 00:48:08,985 ALL RIGHT, TAKE A LOOK AROUND, WHAT DO YOU SEE? 1117 00:48:08,987 --> 00:48:10,453 TITTIES. THAT'S RIGHT. 1118 00:48:10,455 --> 00:48:13,256 YOU GOT YOUR CHERRIES, 1119 00:48:13,258 --> 00:48:15,324 APRICOTS, 1120 00:48:15,326 --> 00:48:17,126 TANGERINES, 1121 00:48:17,128 --> 00:48:18,261 LEMONS, 1122 00:48:18,263 --> 00:48:20,396 CANTALOUPES, 1123 00:48:20,398 --> 00:48:23,299 OH, AND, OF COURSE, WATERMELONS. 1124 00:48:23,301 --> 00:48:24,533 HEY, WHAT KIND OF FRUIT ARE THOSE? 1125 00:48:24,535 --> 00:48:27,136 THAT IS AN ASIAN PEAR. 1126 00:48:27,138 --> 00:48:31,607 HEY, CHECK IT OUT... A GRANNY SMITH! HA HA HA! 1127 00:48:31,609 --> 00:48:34,577 NICE. BUT, LOOK, ALL THESE TITTIES AIN'T FOR FREE. 1128 00:48:34,579 --> 00:48:36,279 CHECK OUT THIS COUPLE OVER HERE. 1129 00:48:36,281 --> 00:48:38,147 WHO DO YOU THINK PAID FOR THAT MEAL? 1130 00:48:38,149 --> 00:48:39,215 THE DUDE? 1131 00:48:39,217 --> 00:48:41,150 THAT'S RIGHT. 1132 00:48:41,152 --> 00:48:43,686 TAKE A LOOK OVER THERE. WHO'S BUYING THOSE CLOTHES? 1133 00:48:43,688 --> 00:48:45,154 DEFINITELY THE DUDE. 1134 00:48:45,156 --> 00:48:46,489 LOOK AT THIS GUY IN HERE. 1135 00:48:46,491 --> 00:48:48,557 HUNDRED BUCKS FOR THAT ROUND, AT LEAST. 1136 00:48:48,559 --> 00:48:50,426 AND TRUST ME, HE AIN'T NAILING ALL OF THEM. 1137 00:48:50,428 --> 00:48:52,028 IS HE, AARON? 1138 00:48:52,030 --> 00:48:53,963 I DON'T KNOW. 1139 00:48:53,965 --> 00:48:58,467 CHECK THIS OUT. LOOK AT THE ROCK ON HER FINGER. 1140 00:48:58,469 --> 00:48:59,468 IT'S AN ENGAGEMENT RING! 1141 00:48:59,470 --> 00:49:00,569 AND WHO PAID FOR IT? 1142 00:49:00,571 --> 00:49:02,371 THE MAN. THAT'S RIGHT. 1143 00:49:02,373 --> 00:49:04,106 AND WHEN SHE GETS HOME, SHE'S GONNA DROP THOSE PANTIES 1144 00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:06,309 LIKE MY IPHONE DROPS CALLS. 1145 00:49:06,311 --> 00:49:08,177 LOOK, ALL THESE HOLLYWOOD CHICKS WANT SOMETHING, 1146 00:49:08,179 --> 00:49:10,446 AND SEX IS THEIR CURRENCY. 1147 00:49:10,448 --> 00:49:12,315 I HAVEN'T SEEN COURTNEY DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 1148 00:49:12,317 --> 00:49:13,950 WHY DON'T YOU STOP BY HER WORK TONIGHT, 1149 00:49:13,952 --> 00:49:16,052 AND YOU'LL GET YOUR CHANCE? 1150 00:49:16,054 --> 00:49:18,554 YO, DUDE, MAN, WE'VE BEEN GETTING SOME WORTHY TAIL LATELY. 1151 00:49:18,556 --> 00:49:20,489 MAN, I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO HIM. 1152 00:49:20,491 --> 00:49:22,058 YEAH, OR JUST MAKE HER YOUR GIRLFRIEND 1153 00:49:22,060 --> 00:49:23,125 AND THEN SEE OTHER ONES ON THE SIDE. 1154 00:49:23,127 --> 00:49:24,393 NO. WHY NOT? 1155 00:49:24,395 --> 00:49:26,329 NO! NO, LOOK, YOU DON'T CHEAT. 1156 00:49:26,331 --> 00:49:29,198 IT'S NOT COOL, EVER, AND THERE'S NO NEED TO. 1157 00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:32,601 LOOK, GUYS, DON'T DATE ONE CHICK THAT YOU'RE FAITHFUL TO. 1158 00:49:32,603 --> 00:49:35,204 YOU DATE LOTS OF CHICKS, YOU ROTATE THEM, 1159 00:49:35,206 --> 00:49:36,472 AND YOU BE HONEST ABOUT IT. 1160 00:49:36,474 --> 00:49:38,240 LOOK, GUYS, I ALWAYS WANTED A SON, 1161 00:49:38,242 --> 00:49:40,109 BUT AT THIS POINT, IT'S PROBABLY NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. 1162 00:49:40,111 --> 00:49:43,112 I WANTED HIM TO BE PREPARED WHEN DEALING WITH THE UNFAIR SEX, 1163 00:49:43,114 --> 00:49:46,282 SO I RECORDED SOME LITTLE NUGGETS OF WISDOM ON THIS. 1164 00:49:46,284 --> 00:49:47,683 BUT BE CAREFUL WITH IT, ALL RIGHT? 1165 00:49:47,685 --> 00:49:49,485 THERE'S A LOT THERE. 1166 00:49:49,487 --> 00:49:53,222 GOOD LUCK PICKING UP CHICKS NOW, MOTHERFUCKER, PIECE OF SHIT! 1167 00:49:53,224 --> 00:49:55,758 I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! 1168 00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,194 WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T CHEAT. 1169 00:49:58,196 --> 00:50:00,496 BUT IF YOU DO, STICK TO YOUR FUCKIN' STORY. 1170 00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:03,766 PAPA SMURF CALLED! HE WANTS HIS DICK BACK! OH, YEAH?! 1171 00:50:03,768 --> 00:50:06,235 GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, RIGHT NOW! 1172 00:50:06,237 --> 00:50:07,636 SADIE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1173 00:50:07,638 --> 00:50:10,773 I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! 1174 00:50:10,775 --> 00:50:13,275 IT'S MOSTLY ABOUT BEING HONEST AND STRAIGHT UP, 1175 00:50:13,277 --> 00:50:16,145 YOU KNOW, OWNING YOUR INNER PIG. 1176 00:50:24,654 --> 00:50:26,589 Woman: STILL UPSET ABOUT THE FIGHT WITH JOHNNY. 1177 00:50:26,591 --> 00:50:29,225 CAME HOME AND GOT DRUNK AND HAD SEX WITH MY NEIGHBOR FRANK. 1178 00:50:29,227 --> 00:50:30,659 IT FELT GREAT. 1179 00:50:30,661 --> 00:50:33,262 I'M SO GLAD I'M NOT A MAN ANYMORE. 1180 00:50:34,531 --> 00:50:37,400 NEVER READ YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S DIARY. 1181 00:50:37,402 --> 00:50:39,402 GIRLS LIKE A TAKE-CHARGE GUY. 1182 00:50:39,404 --> 00:50:42,405 SO YOU JUST LAY DOWN WHAT YOU WANT, 1183 00:50:42,407 --> 00:50:44,407 TELL HER YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND UPFRONT, 1184 00:50:44,409 --> 00:50:46,275 AND SHE CAN'T NEVER ACCUSE YOU OF BEING AN ASSHOLE. 1185 00:50:46,277 --> 00:50:48,411 ( moans ) YES, JOHNNY... 1186 00:50:48,413 --> 00:50:52,681 OH, THAT'S GOOD RIGHT THERE. THAT'S GOOD. AHH! 1187 00:50:52,683 --> 00:50:56,419 RIGHT THERE. OHH! NO! 1188 00:50:56,421 --> 00:50:57,820 WHAT ARE YOU STOPPING FOR? 1189 00:51:01,591 --> 00:51:03,159 WHAT THE FUCK? 1190 00:51:03,161 --> 00:51:06,195 THAT'S WEIRD. I JUST WAXED YESTERDAY. 1191 00:51:06,197 --> 00:51:09,465 NO, THIS IS NOT YOUR PUBE. YOUR PUSSY'S BALD! 1192 00:51:10,734 --> 00:51:14,703 OH, I KNOW WHO THAT WAS. THAT WAS--NEVER MIND. 1193 00:51:14,705 --> 00:51:19,241 NEVER GO DOWN ON A STRIPPER YOU JUST MET. 1194 00:51:19,243 --> 00:51:21,310 DOUBLE-BOOKING BITCH. 1195 00:51:21,312 --> 00:51:24,313 ALTHOUGH GIRLS WANT TO FUCK AND DO DRUGS, 1196 00:51:24,315 --> 00:51:25,815 THEY FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT. I MEAN, THEY WANT TO GET DOWN, 1197 00:51:25,817 --> 00:51:27,716 BUT THEY KIND OF WANT TO BE "TRICKED" INTO IT. 1198 00:51:27,718 --> 00:51:31,353 THIS IS RETARDED. BE STRAIGHT UP AND HONEST WITH THEM, 1199 00:51:31,355 --> 00:51:34,390 BUT THEN GET THEM HIGH AND WASTED AND TRICK THEM INTO IT? 1200 00:51:34,392 --> 00:51:35,724 YOU MAKE THAT SOUND LIKE IT'S A BAD THING. 1201 00:51:35,726 --> 00:51:38,327 I WISH I COULD GET DRUNK AND HIGH FOR FREE. 1202 00:51:38,329 --> 00:51:39,829 YEAH. THEY SHOULD BE THANKING US. 1203 00:51:39,831 --> 00:51:41,864 YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS. I'M GOING TO SEE MY GIRLFRIEND. 1204 00:51:41,866 --> 00:51:44,400 THERE'S A REASON THEY CALL IT "COMMITTED," AARON. 1205 00:51:44,402 --> 00:51:47,536 YOU'RE GONNA BE AT SOME PARTY, WASTED, 1206 00:51:47,538 --> 00:51:49,205 AND SOME HOTTIE'S GONNA BE JOCKING YOU, 1207 00:51:49,207 --> 00:51:51,474 AND YOU'RE GOING TO SLIP UP, MAN. 1208 00:51:51,476 --> 00:51:53,742 I'M OUT. PFFT. 1209 00:51:53,744 --> 00:51:55,311 YO, MAN. LATERS. 1210 00:51:55,313 --> 00:51:56,545 YOU GUYS GOT YOUR ASSIGNMENTS, RIGHT? 1211 00:51:56,547 --> 00:51:57,813 JUST REMEMBER, JUST BE STRAIGHT UP, 1212 00:51:57,815 --> 00:51:59,548 AND TELL HER, "WE CAN SLEEP TOGETHER, 1213 00:51:59,550 --> 00:52:02,284 BUT I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND. NO DINNERS, VALENTINES." 1214 00:52:02,286 --> 00:52:04,153 SHE CAN FIND SOME OTHER SUCKER FOR THAT. 1215 00:52:04,155 --> 00:52:06,789 HUH? I MEAN, I'M SORRY, MAN. 1216 00:52:06,791 --> 00:52:08,357 THIS CANDY BAR IS KICKING IN, MAN. 1217 00:52:08,359 --> 00:52:10,392 I KNOW WE WAS TALKING ABOUT FRUITS EARLIER, RIGHT? 1218 00:52:10,394 --> 00:52:13,195 I'M SORRY, MAN. YOU TAPE-RECORDED IT? 1219 00:52:13,197 --> 00:52:14,897 OH, NO, THAT WAS ANOTHER TAPE RECORDER. 1220 00:52:14,899 --> 00:52:18,434 I'LL REMEMBER FOR REAL, I'M SORRY. 1221 00:52:18,436 --> 00:52:21,203 Woman: ♪ FOR YOU 1222 00:52:21,205 --> 00:52:24,440 ♪ I'D TRAVEL 1223 00:52:24,442 --> 00:52:27,409 ♪ AROUND THE WORLD 1224 00:52:30,413 --> 00:52:33,716 ♪ FOR YOU 1225 00:52:33,718 --> 00:52:35,718 ♪ I'D DO 1226 00:52:35,720 --> 00:52:38,254 ♪ ANYTHING 1227 00:52:38,256 --> 00:52:40,556 ♪ 'CAUSE YOU 1228 00:52:40,558 --> 00:52:43,459 ♪ ARE EVERYTHING 1229 00:52:47,697 --> 00:52:51,600 ♪ THE FEELING IS LOVE, THE FEELING IS LOVE ♪ 1230 00:52:54,404 --> 00:52:58,207 ♪ THE FEELING IS LOVE, THE FEELING IS LOVE ♪ 1231 00:53:00,744 --> 00:53:05,281 ♪ THE FEELING IS LOVE, THE FEELING IS LOVE ♪ 1232 00:53:05,283 --> 00:53:08,684 ♪ WHEN YOU'RE AROUND, WHEN YOU'RE AROUND ♪ 1233 00:53:08,686 --> 00:53:11,253 ♪ THE FEELING IS LOVE 1234 00:53:44,588 --> 00:53:48,524 HEY, HUN, I'M GONNA SPLIT. I'M REALLY HORNY. 1235 00:53:48,526 --> 00:53:51,627 DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HIM! 1236 00:53:51,629 --> 00:53:52,995 DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT ELLE SAID? 1237 00:53:52,997 --> 00:53:56,632 YEAH. ELLE IS A TOTAL DRAMA QUEEN. 1238 00:53:56,634 --> 00:54:00,269 I MEAN, LOOK, HE'S REALLY NICE... 1239 00:54:00,271 --> 00:54:02,605 AND FUNNY. 1240 00:54:02,607 --> 00:54:04,940 WELL, I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME YET. 1241 00:54:04,942 --> 00:54:07,409 AND HE IS KIND OF CUTE. 1242 00:54:07,411 --> 00:54:10,479 SEE? YOU ARE GONNA BE FINE. 1243 00:54:10,481 --> 00:54:12,481 I JUST HOPE HE'S NOT AN ASSHOLE. 1244 00:54:12,483 --> 00:54:14,950 YO, MAN, YOU WANNA GO TO THIS PARTY LATER? 1245 00:54:14,952 --> 00:54:17,653 NO. IT'S GONNA SUCK. IT'S JONZO'S PLACE, MAN. 1246 00:54:17,655 --> 00:54:19,755 YO, I'M GOING HOME TO GET SOME ASS. 1247 00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:22,458 YOU SHOULD TAKE HER. SHE'S BANGING. 1248 00:54:22,460 --> 00:54:24,360 MAYBE I WILL. 1249 00:54:32,769 --> 00:54:34,403 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW 1250 00:54:34,405 --> 00:54:36,572 THAT WE'RE GOING TO THIS PARTY JUST AS FRIENDS. 1251 00:54:36,574 --> 00:54:42,444 WELL, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE'RE SPLITTING THIS CAB FARE...JUST AS FRIENDS. 1252 00:54:42,446 --> 00:54:48,417 I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH ON ME. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE? 1253 00:54:48,419 --> 00:54:49,551 ( humming ) 1254 00:54:49,553 --> 00:54:50,586 ( deep breathing ) 1255 00:54:50,588 --> 00:54:51,754 ( moaning ) 1256 00:54:52,922 --> 00:54:56,392 COURTNEY, I AM YOUR FATHER. 1257 00:54:56,394 --> 00:54:57,826 EW, GROSS. 1258 00:54:57,828 --> 00:54:59,862 ( laughing ) NO, BABE, IT'S JUST ME. 1259 00:54:59,864 --> 00:55:02,398 NO, NO, NO. YOU HAVE TO BE THE HELPLESS PRINCESS, REMEMBER? 1260 00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:04,533 YEAH, CAN YOU MAKE THAT THING VIBRATE? 1261 00:55:04,535 --> 00:55:07,403 UM, SHOOT, I DON'T THINK SO. 1262 00:55:07,405 --> 00:55:09,872 I THINK THAT'S ONLY THE DELUXE EDITION. 1263 00:55:09,874 --> 00:55:12,074 YEAH. 1264 00:55:12,076 --> 00:55:15,711 Johnny: USE HER ADDICTIONS AGAINST HER. 1265 00:55:15,713 --> 00:55:17,546 GO AHEAD, FUCK WITH THAT ONE, TOO. 1266 00:55:17,548 --> 00:55:18,981 ALL RIGHT. 1267 00:55:18,983 --> 00:55:20,849 Johnny: OWN YOUR INNER PIG. 1268 00:55:20,851 --> 00:55:22,318 HERE YOU GO. 1269 00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,687 NO, I'M GOOD. I'VE GOT A DEADLINE. 1270 00:55:24,689 --> 00:55:28,023 I COULD REALLY USE TOMORROW TO CATCH UP. SO... 1271 00:55:28,025 --> 00:55:31,360 ARE YOU FOR REAL? I MEAN, I JUST GOT HIGH. 1272 00:55:31,362 --> 00:55:34,630 IF YOU LIKE, I CAN BLOW EVERYTHING OFF THAT I GOT TO DO TOMORROW, 1273 00:55:34,632 --> 00:55:39,501 AND WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN, BUT I GOTTA LET YOU KNOW THAT AT SOME POINT, 1274 00:55:39,503 --> 00:55:42,104 WE'RE PROBABLY GOING TO BE HIGH AND DRUNK AND IN MY BED, 1275 00:55:42,106 --> 00:55:45,107 AND I'M GOING TO NEED TO BUST A NUT. NEED TO? 1276 00:55:45,109 --> 00:55:49,111 YEAH. I MEAN, I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO HONEST AND OPEN ABOUT IT, 1277 00:55:49,113 --> 00:55:52,715 BUT IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT, THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD MEET FOR COFFEE SOMETIME 1278 00:55:52,717 --> 00:55:55,884 AND REALLY GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER, TAKE IT NICE AND SLOW... 1279 00:55:55,886 --> 00:55:57,653 FINE. 1280 00:55:57,655 --> 00:55:59,555 FINE FOR THE NUTBUSTING? 1281 00:56:00,790 --> 00:56:02,725 WHATEVER. 1282 00:56:02,727 --> 00:56:05,994 JUST FILL UP MY DRINK, PLEASE. 1283 00:56:05,996 --> 00:56:08,864 DID YOU KNOW THAT WHEN A MAN ORGASMS 1284 00:56:08,866 --> 00:56:14,536 IT RELEASES A CHEMICAL THAT'S 20 TIMES STRONGER THAN A NORMAL SLEEPING PILL? 1285 00:56:16,539 --> 00:56:18,774 THIS IS SOME LADY AND THE TRAMP SHIT RIGHT HERE. 1286 00:56:18,776 --> 00:56:20,642 ( laughing ) 1287 00:56:26,716 --> 00:56:31,520 I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE. YOU'VE BEEN FLAGGED ON THE DATERBASE. 1288 00:56:31,522 --> 00:56:34,556 NOBODY HAS TO KNOW. WHAT'S A DATERBASE? 1289 00:56:34,558 --> 00:56:37,126 JUST SHUT UP AND KISS ME. 1290 00:56:37,128 --> 00:56:39,962 OH, YEAH. OH. OH, YEAH. 1291 00:56:42,065 --> 00:56:45,134 ( crickets chirping, owl hooting ) 1292 00:56:48,671 --> 00:56:50,606 BABE, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT OUTFIT? 1293 00:56:50,608 --> 00:56:53,409 THANK YOU. IT'S MY APRON. 1294 00:56:53,411 --> 00:56:54,977 I WORE IT UNDER MY DRESS LAST NIGHT 1295 00:56:54,979 --> 00:56:58,514 SO I COULD COOK YOU BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING. 1296 00:56:58,516 --> 00:57:01,984 AH, I AM TAKING YOU OUT. BABY, DO YOU WANNA GO TO THE ZOO? 1297 00:57:01,986 --> 00:57:06,488 YES! I LOVE THE ZOO. ANIMALS ARE MY FAVORITE. 1298 00:57:06,490 --> 00:57:08,891 OH, ME TOO. THAT'S PERFECT. IT'S A DONE DEAL. WE'RE DOING IT. 1299 00:57:08,893 --> 00:57:10,926 UM, BABE, CHECK OUT MY... 1300 00:57:10,928 --> 00:57:12,828 TROUSER ELEPHANT. 1301 00:57:12,830 --> 00:57:14,863 HA HA HA. 1302 00:57:14,865 --> 00:57:17,766 DO YOU WANT ME TO COME PULL ITS TRUNK? 1303 00:57:18,735 --> 00:57:20,469 ( elephant trumpets ) 1304 00:57:21,738 --> 00:57:23,972 SO...YOU GONNA TAKE ME TO BREAKFAST? 1305 00:57:23,974 --> 00:57:26,675 ( laughs ) BREAKFAST?! AIN'T NO BREAKFAST, BABY. 1306 00:57:26,677 --> 00:57:29,711 I DON'T ROLL LIKE THAT. YOU HAD FUN LAST NIGHT, RIGHT? 1307 00:57:29,713 --> 00:57:31,880 YEAH. EVENTUALLY. 1308 00:57:31,882 --> 00:57:34,983 HEY, THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY PERFORMANCE. THAT WAS THE COKE. 1309 00:57:34,985 --> 00:57:37,886 ANYWAYS, IF WANT SOMEBODY TO TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER ALL THE TIME 1310 00:57:37,888 --> 00:57:39,688 AND CALL YOU UP EVERY DAY, 1311 00:57:39,690 --> 00:57:42,057 THAT AIN'T ME. THAT'S BOYFRIEND TERRITORY. 1312 00:57:42,059 --> 00:57:44,860 LOOK, I'M JUST HUNGRY. 1313 00:57:44,862 --> 00:57:46,995 YOU DON'T GOTTA BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE. 1314 00:57:46,997 --> 00:57:49,698 IT'S LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO SOME ASSHOLE SCHOOL OR SOMETHING. 1315 00:57:49,700 --> 00:57:50,933 PSHH. WHATEVER. 1316 00:57:50,935 --> 00:57:52,701 DICK. 1317 00:57:52,703 --> 00:57:54,670 Johnny: IF SHE'S ASKING FOR TOO MUCH CAB FARE, 1318 00:57:54,672 --> 00:57:56,538 TAKE A TWENTY OUT OF HER PURSE WHILE SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM 1319 00:57:56,540 --> 00:57:58,040 AND GIVE IT TO HER. 1320 00:57:58,042 --> 00:58:00,776 IT'S NOT STEALING IF YOU GIVE IT BACK. 1321 00:58:00,778 --> 00:58:02,644 DUDE, THIS STUFF IS GOLD! 1322 00:58:02,646 --> 00:58:05,047 HEY, AARON, THOUGHT YOU'D BE MARRIED OFF BY NOW. 1323 00:58:05,049 --> 00:58:06,915 UM, SHE'S A GOOD GIRL. IT COULD HAPPEN. 1324 00:58:06,917 --> 00:58:09,184 UH, JUST KEEPING MY OPTIONS OPEN FOR NOW. 1325 00:58:09,186 --> 00:58:10,652 YEAH, WHAT ABOUT YOU, MAX? HOW'S IT GOING? 1326 00:58:10,654 --> 00:58:13,121 OH, MAN, SHIT WENT PERFECT, YO. 1327 00:58:13,123 --> 00:58:14,690 IT'S JUST ONE THING, THOUGH, MAN... 1328 00:58:14,692 --> 00:58:15,991 SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 1329 00:58:15,993 --> 00:58:18,093 WITH THE COKE AND THE CONDOMS, MAN... 1330 00:58:18,095 --> 00:58:21,630 I KIND OF HAD A LITTLE BIT OF PERFORMANCE ANXIETY. 1331 00:58:21,632 --> 00:58:24,633 REALLY? WHAT, ARE YOU GAY NOW? 1332 00:58:24,635 --> 00:58:28,637 ALL YOU NEED IS... ONE OF THESE. 1333 00:58:30,139 --> 00:58:32,107 WHAT'S THAT, MAN? 1334 00:58:32,109 --> 00:58:36,545 UGH. DUDE, WHY'S IT ALL SLIPPERY? WHAT IS THAT? 1335 00:58:36,547 --> 00:58:38,514 THAT'S JUST LUBE. IT'S MY COCK RING. 1336 00:58:38,516 --> 00:58:40,716 OHH! WHAT THE FUCK! ARE YOU KIDDING? 1337 00:58:40,718 --> 00:58:43,719 GUYS, I'M TELLING YOU, NO MATTER WHAT STATE I'M IN, 1338 00:58:43,721 --> 00:58:47,623 IT KEEPS ME TURGID, AND IT ALWAYS, ALWAYS GET'S ME OFF. 1339 00:58:47,625 --> 00:58:49,758 YO, I PUT THAT SHIT ON MY NOSE, YO! 1340 00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:51,126 AND WHAT THE FUCK IS "TURGID"? 1341 00:58:51,128 --> 00:58:53,228 "TURGID" MEANS HARD. HOW DUMB ARE YOU? 1342 00:58:53,230 --> 00:58:56,632 OH, I'M GONNA USE THAT SHIT. "GIRL, YOU GOT MY DICK TURGID." 1343 00:58:56,634 --> 00:58:58,767 AND I KNOW WITH ALL THE ALCOHOL AND THE DRUGS, 1344 00:58:58,769 --> 00:59:02,838 SOMETIMES IT'S A LITTLE TOUGH, SO I ALWAYS KEEP ONE OF THESE BABIES AROUND. 1345 00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:04,873 THOSE ARE LIKE 50 BUCKS EACH. EVERY TIME? 1346 00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:06,775 JESUS, FUCKFACE. 1347 00:59:06,777 --> 00:59:10,546 LOOK, YOU GENTLY TAKE IT OUT OF THE BOX, YOU CAREFULLY CUT IT OPEN. 1348 00:59:10,548 --> 00:59:13,715 EVERY TIME YOU USE IT, YOU PUT IT IN THE DISHWASHER, GOOD AS NEW. 1349 00:59:13,717 --> 00:59:15,050 OH, YEAH. ECONOMICAL. 1350 00:59:15,052 --> 00:59:16,818 YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT CONDOMS? 1351 00:59:16,820 --> 00:59:18,554 MAN, I HATE CONDOMS, MAN. 1352 00:59:18,556 --> 00:59:21,256 IT'S LIKE EATING A SNICKERS WITH THE WRAPPER ON. 1353 00:59:21,258 --> 00:59:23,292 LOOK, THE FIRST COUPLE OF TIMES YOU KIND OF HAVE TO, BOYS. 1354 00:59:23,294 --> 00:59:25,160 FUCK THAT. JUST DO WHAT I DO. 1355 00:59:25,162 --> 00:59:28,063 YOU CUT A HOLE RIGHT IN THE TIP OF THE CONDOM, RIGHT? 1356 00:59:28,065 --> 00:59:29,932 JUST LIKE THAT. 1357 00:59:29,934 --> 00:59:32,134 AND IT WEARS AWAY AS YOU GET GOING, THEN IT BREAKS. 1358 00:59:32,136 --> 00:59:34,069 THE BEAUTY OF IT IS, WHEN SHE LOOKS DOWN, 1359 00:59:34,071 --> 00:59:35,871 IT STILL LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE WEARING ONE. 1360 00:59:35,873 --> 00:59:38,073 I JUST TOLD HER IT RIPPED BECAUSE MY DICK'S TOO BIG. 1361 00:59:38,075 --> 00:59:43,245 DUDE, THAT IS FUCKED UP ON SO MANY LEVELS, I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. 1362 00:59:43,247 --> 00:59:44,813 WHAT? 1363 00:59:44,815 --> 00:59:46,214 "WHAT?" 1364 00:59:46,216 --> 00:59:48,216 LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 1365 00:59:48,218 --> 00:59:50,819 ONE IN FOUR PEOPLE HAVE HERPES. 1366 00:59:50,821 --> 00:59:53,255 ONE IN FOUR WARTS. 1367 00:59:53,257 --> 00:59:57,926 THROW IN CHLAMYDIA, CRABS, U.T.I., 1368 00:59:57,928 --> 01:00:01,663 THEN YOU RAMP IT UP BECAUSE WE'RE IN HOLLYWOOD... 1369 01:00:01,665 --> 01:00:03,165 AND THE CHANCES THAT ONE OF THESE CHICKS 1370 01:00:03,167 --> 01:00:07,803 THAT YOU GUYS ARE TAKING HOME HAS "SOMETHING" IS ABOUT... 1371 01:00:11,374 --> 01:00:12,808 72%. 1372 01:00:16,379 --> 01:00:18,347 GRETCHEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1373 01:00:18,349 --> 01:00:22,017 OH, I'M PUTTING A FABRIC SOFTENER SHEET DOWN MY PANTS 1374 01:00:22,019 --> 01:00:25,153 SO LATER TONIGHT WHEN I TAKE MY JEANS OFF, 1375 01:00:25,155 --> 01:00:27,055 IT'LL BE NICE AND FRESH DOWN THERE. 1376 01:00:27,057 --> 01:00:28,690 THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. 1377 01:00:28,692 --> 01:00:29,891 RIGHT? 1378 01:00:29,893 --> 01:00:31,727 DOES THAT MAKE YOUR SKIN SOFT? 1379 01:00:31,729 --> 01:00:34,863 OH, GOD, I HOPE IT DOESN'T MAKE HIS DICK SOFTER! UGH! 1380 01:00:34,865 --> 01:00:36,865 I GOT A DATE TONIGHT. LET ME TRY SOME OF THAT. 1381 01:00:36,867 --> 01:00:38,667 SO ARE YOU GIRLS ALL SET FOR THE INITIATION? 1382 01:00:38,669 --> 01:00:40,202 YEAH, WE ARE. 1383 01:00:40,204 --> 01:00:44,006 YEAH. OH. CAN I STILL JOIN IF I HAVE GOT A BOYFRIEND? 1384 01:00:44,008 --> 01:00:47,676 HE BETTER GO DOWNY ON ME AFTER ALL THAT TROUBLE! 1385 01:00:47,678 --> 01:00:49,678 NO. THAT DEFIES THE WHOLE POINT. 1386 01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:52,047 WELL, UNLESS YOU'RE USING HIM FOR SOMETHING. 1387 01:00:52,049 --> 01:00:55,283 I JUST LIKE HIM. I LIKE THE WAY HIS HAIR SMELLS, 1388 01:00:55,285 --> 01:00:59,388 I LIKE HIS SMILE, I LIKE WAKING UP NEXT TO HIM, I LIKE HIS COCK. 1389 01:00:59,390 --> 01:01:01,890 COURTNEY, COURTNEY, YOU CANNOT SEE THIS GUY ANYMORE. 1390 01:01:01,892 --> 01:01:03,191 WHAT? WHY? 1391 01:01:03,193 --> 01:01:05,060 BECAUSE HE WILL DICK YOU OVER. 1392 01:01:05,062 --> 01:01:07,295 WE JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE WE MADE. 1393 01:01:07,297 --> 01:01:10,032 IF IT'S SEX YOU WANT, WE'LL FIND A GUY FOR YOU. 1394 01:01:10,034 --> 01:01:12,834 WHAT DO YOU WANT, DO YOU WANT A NERD, DO YOU WANT A BAD BOY? 1395 01:01:12,836 --> 01:01:14,169 WHAT, AND I JUST FUCK THEM? 1396 01:01:14,171 --> 01:01:16,038 FIRST, YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HIM 1397 01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:17,773 THAT HE CAN'T CALL YOU AFTERWARDS, 1398 01:01:17,775 --> 01:01:19,341 AND IF HE SEES YOU OUT SOMEWHERE, 1399 01:01:19,343 --> 01:01:21,276 HE'S GOTTA WALK IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. 1400 01:01:21,278 --> 01:01:24,746 THAT'S CRAZY. I REALLY, REALLY LIKE THIS GUY. 1401 01:01:24,748 --> 01:01:26,348 I KNOW, BUT IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. 1402 01:01:26,350 --> 01:01:28,083 NOW, YVONNE, 1403 01:01:28,085 --> 01:01:29,918 DID THE DOCTOR SET A DATE FOR YOUR IMPROVEMENTS YET? 1404 01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:31,386 YEAH. THREE WEEKS. 1405 01:01:31,388 --> 01:01:32,921 I KNEW HE WOULD DRAG IT OUT A BIT. 1406 01:01:32,923 --> 01:01:34,322 A FEW DAYS IN OUTPATIENT, 1407 01:01:34,324 --> 01:01:35,824 AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN! 1408 01:01:35,826 --> 01:01:36,992 RIGHT ON. 1409 01:01:55,344 --> 01:01:56,778 ( knock on door ) 1410 01:01:58,881 --> 01:02:00,015 HEY. 1411 01:02:00,950 --> 01:02:03,752 AH-AH-AH. 1412 01:02:03,754 --> 01:02:05,220 ( sighs ) 1413 01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:18,500 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE BY YOURSELF? 1414 01:02:18,502 --> 01:02:20,769 OH, MY GOD, YOU REMIND ME OF BEETLEJUICE. 1415 01:02:20,771 --> 01:02:22,204 REMEMBER THOSE LEGS THAT WAS SITTING BY THEMSELVES? 1416 01:02:22,206 --> 01:02:23,305 I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! 1417 01:02:23,307 --> 01:02:24,806 WHERE YOU KNOW ME FROM? 1418 01:02:24,808 --> 01:02:27,442 DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE. NASTY. 1419 01:02:27,444 --> 01:02:29,111 MAN, WHAT? MAN, THIS LOOKS LIKE SOME-- 1420 01:02:29,113 --> 01:02:31,379 HEY, THIS AIN'T EVEN TRUE. THEY TRYING TO SET ME UP. 1421 01:02:31,381 --> 01:02:34,916 THEY TRYING TO SAY I DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED, BUT THAT EVEN TRUE. 1422 01:02:39,255 --> 01:02:40,355 OHH! 1423 01:02:40,357 --> 01:02:41,389 OH, FUCK! 1424 01:02:41,391 --> 01:02:43,091 OH, SHIT. OH, MAN, SORRY, MAN. 1425 01:02:43,093 --> 01:02:44,359 FUCK. 1426 01:02:44,361 --> 01:02:46,361 I KNOW THAT GUY. 1427 01:02:48,998 --> 01:02:50,799 DID YOU DO SOME? 1428 01:02:50,801 --> 01:02:52,934 NO. HE JUST CAME BY TONIGHT. 1429 01:02:52,936 --> 01:02:54,436 THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE. 1430 01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:56,004 I KNOW. 1431 01:02:56,006 --> 01:02:57,239 ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH HIM? 1432 01:02:57,241 --> 01:02:59,107 NO. 1433 01:02:59,109 --> 01:03:01,977 I JUST GET SO HORNY. 1434 01:03:01,979 --> 01:03:04,813 WE ALL GET A LITTLE BIT HORMONAL SOMETIMES, 1435 01:03:04,815 --> 01:03:07,449 BUT, NEXT TIME, SPECIFY AN AMOUNT, 1436 01:03:07,451 --> 01:03:11,787 OR HE'S GONNA HAVE YOU WHORING YOURSELF OUT FOR LITTLE KIBBLES, OKAY? 1437 01:03:11,789 --> 01:03:13,188 NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. 1438 01:03:13,190 --> 01:03:16,558 WENDY, CAN I TALK TO YOU A LITTLE BIT LATER? 1439 01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:19,027 OKAY. 1440 01:03:19,029 --> 01:03:20,896 ( sighs ) 1441 01:03:21,931 --> 01:03:25,033 OKAY, LADIES, AS YOU KNOW, 1442 01:03:25,035 --> 01:03:29,504 YVONNE WILL BE GETTING HER ENHANCEMENTS THIS WEEK, THUS ELIGIBLE FOR MEMBERSHIP. 1443 01:03:29,506 --> 01:03:31,239 ( cheering ) 1444 01:03:31,241 --> 01:03:33,074 WHAT DAY, YVONNE? 1445 01:03:33,076 --> 01:03:35,911 HE SAYS I GO IN ON FRIDAY, AND I'LL BE OUT BY SATURDAY. 1446 01:03:35,913 --> 01:03:38,146 SO SATURDAY NIGHT. DOES THAT WORK FOR EVERYONE? 1447 01:03:38,148 --> 01:03:39,347 YEAH. YES. YES. 1448 01:03:39,349 --> 01:03:40,882 OOH OOH! 1449 01:03:51,460 --> 01:03:56,231 15 SECONDS. EXCELLENT WORK, MAX. CONGRATS ALL AROUND. 1450 01:03:56,233 --> 01:03:59,234 IT'S NICE TO SEE YOUR STABLES DEVELOPING. I'M UP TO FOUR NOW. 1451 01:03:59,236 --> 01:04:01,570 YOU STILL TAKING DRUGS TO THAT STRIPPER CHICK? YUP. 1452 01:04:01,572 --> 01:04:04,139 SHE'S FUCKING YOU NOW RIGHT? LIKE I'M JOHNNY DEPP. 1453 01:04:04,141 --> 01:04:07,375 NICE. AND NOW CAN BRING AS MUCH OR AS LITTLE AS YOU LIKE. 1454 01:04:07,377 --> 01:04:09,077 DUDE, I'M GETTING LAID FOR DUB-SACKS! 1455 01:04:09,079 --> 01:04:10,078 SWEET! 1456 01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:12,881 UM, WHERE'S COURTNEY? 1457 01:04:12,883 --> 01:04:14,583 SHE SAID SHE CAN'T COME ANYMORE. 1458 01:04:14,585 --> 01:04:16,284 WHY NOT? 1459 01:04:16,286 --> 01:04:18,320 BECAUSE SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND NOW, 1460 01:04:18,322 --> 01:04:21,890 AND SHE SAID IT WOULD BE UNFAIR TO COME TO A MAN-HATING GROUP. 1461 01:04:21,892 --> 01:04:23,558 WHAT? WHAT? WHATEVER. 1462 01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:25,493 WE DON'T HATE MEN. 1463 01:04:25,495 --> 01:04:27,295 WE JUST KEEP THEM ON TASK, SWEETIE. 1464 01:04:27,297 --> 01:04:28,496 SO WHAT ABOUT YOU, AARON? 1465 01:04:28,498 --> 01:04:30,098 I'VE BEEN DABBLING, 1466 01:04:30,100 --> 01:04:31,900 BUT THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE GIRL FOR ME. 1467 01:04:31,902 --> 01:04:33,535 YEAH, WHEN SHE'S IN TOWN. 1468 01:04:33,537 --> 01:04:34,536 OH! OH HO HO! 1469 01:04:34,538 --> 01:04:35,904 WHAT? 1470 01:04:35,906 --> 01:04:37,105 IT'S THAT COURTNEY AGAIN, RIGHT? 1471 01:04:37,107 --> 01:04:38,273 YEAH. 1472 01:04:38,275 --> 01:04:40,041 DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT YOUR OTHER CHICKS? 1473 01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:42,911 UH, THAT'S NOT SOMETHING I LIKE TO BRING UP. 1474 01:04:42,913 --> 01:04:44,145 YEAH, BUT YOU'RE ROTATING HER, RIGHT? 1475 01:04:44,147 --> 01:04:45,647 WHAT? 1476 01:04:45,649 --> 01:04:47,549 HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE HER? 1477 01:04:47,551 --> 01:04:49,918 I DON'T KNOW, LIKE TWO, THREE, FOUR TIMES A WEEK. 1478 01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:52,354 AARON, YOU HAVE TO ROTATE THEM. 1479 01:04:52,356 --> 01:04:54,022 SHE'LL BE BACK. 1480 01:04:54,024 --> 01:04:56,024 I HOPE SO. I REALLY LIKED HER. 1481 01:04:56,026 --> 01:04:57,125 I REALLY LIKED HER, TOO. 1482 01:04:57,127 --> 01:04:58,627 I THINK SHE'S REALLY INTO HIM. 1483 01:04:58,629 --> 01:05:01,263 AARON, RIGHT? SHORT, DUMB-LOOKING? 1484 01:05:01,265 --> 01:05:02,564 ( laughter ) 1485 01:05:02,566 --> 01:05:05,133 THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, HE'S A MAN, 1486 01:05:05,135 --> 01:05:06,601 AND HE'S HARDWIRED TO CHEAT. 1487 01:05:06,603 --> 01:05:08,536 OH, I THINK HE ALREADY DID. 1488 01:05:08,538 --> 01:05:10,372 WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? 1489 01:05:10,374 --> 01:05:13,275 I SAW LAST WEEK HIM AT A PARTY ALL OVER SOME UGLY-ASS GIRL. 1490 01:05:13,277 --> 01:05:15,610 LAST SATURDAY AT ROSS'S? YEAH. 1491 01:05:15,612 --> 01:05:18,947 WAS THAT GUY MAX THERE? YEAH. 1492 01:05:18,949 --> 01:05:20,148 ( warbling sounds ) 1493 01:05:20,150 --> 01:05:22,050 MY EARRING COLLECTION IS GROWING DAILY. 1494 01:05:22,052 --> 01:05:24,386 AH, YES. THE "LEAVE BEHIND." 1495 01:05:24,388 --> 01:05:26,554 DO THEY MEAN TO LEAVE THIS SHIT AT YOUR APARTMENT 1496 01:05:26,556 --> 01:05:29,391 OR ARE THEY JUST TOO HUNGOVER TO REMEMBER? WHO KNOWS? 1497 01:05:29,393 --> 01:05:34,396 IT'S LIKE HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW THAT THEY LEAVE NOT WEARING THEIR OWN PANTIES? 1498 01:05:34,398 --> 01:05:36,097 THAT SHIT IS DUMB! 1499 01:05:36,099 --> 01:05:38,433 LET ME SEE THIS HAIRCLIP. WHERE DID YOU GET THIS? 1500 01:05:38,435 --> 01:05:41,369 I NEEDED IT ONE MORNING, AND THE GUY I WAS WITH GAVE IT TO ME. 1501 01:05:41,371 --> 01:05:42,504 MAX? 1502 01:05:42,506 --> 01:05:44,572 THE GUY THAT JIZZED ON ME? YEAH. 1503 01:05:44,574 --> 01:05:47,142 THIS IS MY HAIRCLIP. I WAS WITH HIM LAST WEEK. 1504 01:05:47,144 --> 01:05:48,410 YOU'VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH HIM? 1505 01:05:48,412 --> 01:05:49,978 WE JUST HOOKED UP A COUPLE OF TIMES. 1506 01:05:49,980 --> 01:05:51,346 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SEEING HIM. 1507 01:05:51,348 --> 01:05:53,081 I TOLD YOU THAT I LIKED HIM. 1508 01:05:53,083 --> 01:05:54,582 WHATEVER. NOW YOU OWN HIM. 1509 01:05:54,584 --> 01:05:57,285 JASMINE! YVONNE! JASMINE! YVONNE! 1510 01:05:57,287 --> 01:05:58,553 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? 1511 01:05:58,555 --> 01:06:00,322 I DON'T KNOW. WHAT IS GOING ON? 1512 01:06:00,324 --> 01:06:03,658 WAIT A MINUTE. IS THIS THE MAX THAT ELLE FLAGGED? 1513 01:06:03,660 --> 01:06:04,693 Elle: THAT ASSHOLE?! 1514 01:06:04,695 --> 01:06:06,294 THIS IS FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS! 1515 01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:08,029 WHY DO WE EVEN KEEP A DATERBASE 1516 01:06:08,031 --> 01:06:09,297 IF YOU GUYS CAN'T EVEN FOLLOW IT? 1517 01:06:09,299 --> 01:06:10,565 THE WHOLE POINT OF THE T.O.B. CLUB 1518 01:06:10,567 --> 01:06:12,968 IS FOR SHIT LIKE THIS NOT TO HAPPEN. 1519 01:06:12,970 --> 01:06:15,503 COURTNEY'S DUDE IS CHEATING ON HER. 1520 01:06:15,505 --> 01:06:17,405 YOU'RE GETTING RIPPED OFF BY YOUR COKE GUY, 1521 01:06:17,407 --> 01:06:19,174 AND THE TWO OF YOU 1522 01:06:19,176 --> 01:06:21,376 ARE IN SOME SORT OF T.O.B. CERTIFIED SCUMBAG'S STABLE. 1523 01:06:21,378 --> 01:06:22,510 SCUM! 1524 01:06:22,512 --> 01:06:24,279 WE HAVE STABLES. 1525 01:06:24,281 --> 01:06:27,615 THAT'S WHY THEY'RE CALLED STABLE BOYS, OKAY? 1526 01:06:27,617 --> 01:06:31,119 THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. COULD ANYTHING ELSE GO WRONG? 1527 01:06:31,121 --> 01:06:32,220 ( crying ) I'M PREGNANT! 1528 01:06:32,222 --> 01:06:34,089 OH, SWEETIE! 1529 01:06:34,091 --> 01:06:36,057 IT'S OKAY. 1530 01:06:36,059 --> 01:06:37,225 ARE YOU GONNA HAVE IT? 1531 01:06:37,227 --> 01:06:39,227 I DON'T THINK SO. 1532 01:06:39,229 --> 01:06:40,762 GOOD. GOOD. 1533 01:06:40,764 --> 01:06:44,165 DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT A THING. 1534 01:06:44,167 --> 01:06:46,301 REALLY? YEAH. 1535 01:06:46,303 --> 01:06:48,470 WE'LL FIX ALL OF THIS TOGETHER. 1536 01:06:48,472 --> 01:06:52,240 NOW, HOW MANY MEN HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING WITH? TWO OR THREE. 1537 01:06:52,242 --> 01:06:56,011 GRETCHEN. NOT IN THE LAST WEEK, GRETCHEN, 1538 01:06:56,013 --> 01:06:57,412 THE LAST THREE MONTHS? 1539 01:06:57,414 --> 01:07:02,183 MAYBE SEVEN OR EIGHT. OH, PLUS THE DRUG GUY. 1540 01:07:02,185 --> 01:07:03,585 ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? 1541 01:07:03,587 --> 01:07:06,454 Both: ABORTION EXTORTION. 1542 01:07:09,025 --> 01:07:11,126 "IN 1934, 1543 01:07:11,128 --> 01:07:14,195 "HITLER ELIMINATED ALL OF HIS OPPOSITION IN ONE NIGHT. 1544 01:07:14,197 --> 01:07:16,564 IT WAS CALLED 'THE NIGHT OF THE LONG KNIVES.'" 1545 01:07:16,566 --> 01:07:19,534 THIS FRIDAY, OUR TIME WILL COME. 1546 01:07:19,536 --> 01:07:21,269 WE'RE GOING TO TEACH THESE CRETINS A LESSON 1547 01:07:21,271 --> 01:07:23,538 THEY'RE NEVER GONNA FORGET. YEAH, WE WILL. 1548 01:07:23,540 --> 01:07:25,407 THERE'S SOMETHING I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 1549 01:07:25,409 --> 01:07:27,809 WE MET ONE OF THESE PESTS THREE MONTHS AGO 1550 01:07:27,811 --> 01:07:29,077 WHEN WE GOT THOSE T-SHIRTS MADE, 1551 01:07:29,079 --> 01:07:30,678 AND HE WAS A BIG FAT LOSER. 1552 01:07:30,680 --> 01:07:34,582 NOW HIM AND HIS BUDDIES ARE WREAKING HAVOC ON US! HOW? 1553 01:07:34,584 --> 01:07:39,254 YES, IT FEELS LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE IS BEHIND THIS. 1554 01:07:39,256 --> 01:07:40,422 ANOTHER GIRL GANG? 1555 01:07:40,424 --> 01:07:42,390 ( gasps ) THE ECHO PARK PUTAS? 1556 01:07:42,392 --> 01:07:43,591 SILVERLAKE SKANKS? 1557 01:07:43,593 --> 01:07:44,793 THE THREE ONE HOES? 1558 01:07:44,795 --> 01:07:46,528 THE LOS FELIZ LESBOS? 1559 01:07:46,530 --> 01:07:50,131 WHO KNOWS? BUT BY SACRIFICING ONE OF OUR OWN, 1560 01:07:50,133 --> 01:07:53,301 THEY'LL GET THE MESSAGE THAT WE WE'RE NOT PLAYING AROUND. 1561 01:07:53,303 --> 01:07:58,673 SOMETHING ABOUT THIS SEEMS FAMILIAR. 1562 01:07:58,675 --> 01:08:01,276 IS IT A MAN, A PLAYER OUT FOR REVENGE? 1563 01:08:01,278 --> 01:08:05,847 SLICE, GRETCHEN, ELLE, I WANT YOU TO HIT THE STREETS. 1564 01:08:05,849 --> 01:08:08,183 TALK TO YOUR PEOPLE, BUST SOME BALLS... 1565 01:08:08,185 --> 01:08:09,851 SUCK THEM IF YOU HAVE TO, 1566 01:08:09,853 --> 01:08:12,387 BUT FIND OUT WHO IS PULLING THE STRINGS. 1567 01:08:12,389 --> 01:08:13,855 WE WILL. GOOD. 1568 01:08:13,857 --> 01:08:15,256 THEN TASSELING IN, NEXT SATURDAY, 1569 01:08:15,258 --> 01:08:17,592 YVONNE WILL GET HER BOOBS, 1570 01:08:17,594 --> 01:08:19,661 COURTNEY WILL BE BACK IN THE GANG, 1571 01:08:19,663 --> 01:08:22,564 AND THESE FOOLS WILL RUE THE DAY THAT THEY CROSSED US. 1572 01:08:22,566 --> 01:08:23,731 YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! 1573 01:08:23,733 --> 01:08:25,266 NIGHT OF THE LONG NAILS. 1574 01:08:25,268 --> 01:08:27,569 ( cheering ) 1575 01:08:29,271 --> 01:08:32,574 WHY ARE WE DRINKING BRANDY? 1576 01:08:32,576 --> 01:08:34,709 'CAUSE CHURCHILL USED TO DRINK IT. 1577 01:08:34,711 --> 01:08:38,613 OH, YEAH. THAT JAMAICAN GUY YOU USED TO DATE. HE WAS SO HOT. 1578 01:08:38,615 --> 01:08:40,148 LOVED HIM. 1579 01:08:40,150 --> 01:08:41,349 THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY. 1580 01:08:41,351 --> 01:08:44,285 AND? LOOK, ALL I KNOW IS THAT IT WORKS, 1581 01:08:44,287 --> 01:08:45,887 AND YOUR CLIENTS LOVE IT, RIGHT? 1582 01:08:45,889 --> 01:08:48,456 THEY'RE PATIENTS. 1583 01:08:48,458 --> 01:08:52,594 YES, THE RESULTS ARE IMPRESSIVE. 1584 01:08:52,596 --> 01:08:54,529 THANK YOU. 1585 01:08:54,531 --> 01:08:58,199 BUT BEFORE YOU GO, YOU'RE A BIT OF LADIES MAN, RIGHT? 1586 01:08:58,201 --> 01:08:59,434 YEAH, I HAVE MY MOMENTS. 1587 01:08:59,436 --> 01:09:01,503 I HAVE A BIT OF A PROBLEM HERE. 1588 01:09:01,505 --> 01:09:05,173 EVERY NOW AND THEN I MEET A GIRL THAT I LIKE, 1589 01:09:05,175 --> 01:09:07,542 ONE THAT SEEMS ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, 1590 01:09:07,544 --> 01:09:10,445 THEN I DO SOME WORK ON HER, AND SHE DISAPPEARS. 1591 01:09:10,447 --> 01:09:13,214 MM-HMM. SO YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING PLAYED? 1592 01:09:13,216 --> 01:09:16,684 NOT SURE, BUT THERE IS THIS ONE GIRL... 1593 01:09:16,686 --> 01:09:20,321 SHE'S VERY NICE TO ME. TOO NICE. 1594 01:09:20,323 --> 01:09:23,258 ALL RIGHT, WELL, HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO... 1595 01:09:25,628 --> 01:09:27,795 IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. 1596 01:09:27,797 --> 01:09:29,430 OH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO, BABY. 1597 01:09:29,432 --> 01:09:31,399 YOU'RE HUNGRY RIGHT? 1598 01:09:31,401 --> 01:09:33,801 I AM STARVING. I LOVE THIS PLACE. 1599 01:09:33,803 --> 01:09:35,603 I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU PICKED IT. 1600 01:09:35,605 --> 01:09:37,639 WE ALL REALLY MISS YOU AT THE MEETINGS. 1601 01:09:37,641 --> 01:09:40,475 OH, MY GOD, I MISS YOU GUYS, TOO! 1602 01:09:42,511 --> 01:09:43,878 STOP. 1603 01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:45,813 NOW THERE'S AN ARMY OF TWO. 1604 01:09:45,815 --> 01:09:48,950 TAKE CARE OF THEM, SUGAR. OKAY. 1605 01:09:48,952 --> 01:09:51,786 AND YOU, LET'S SEE THOSE PRIVATES ON PARADE. 1606 01:09:51,788 --> 01:09:53,955 I LIKE HOW YOU'RE SHOWCASING THAT PUSSY. 1607 01:09:53,957 --> 01:09:55,957 LOOKIN' GOOD. ( spanks ) 1608 01:09:55,959 --> 01:10:00,495 WHOA. THAT SKIRT'S WAY TOO LONG. 1609 01:10:00,497 --> 01:10:02,430 COME ON. BE ALL YOU CAN BE. 1610 01:10:02,432 --> 01:10:05,300 LET'S SEE THESE. THE NIPPLES ARE JUST RIGHT AT THE EDGE. 1611 01:10:05,302 --> 01:10:07,669 GOOD, SHOW THOSE GIRLS OFF. 1612 01:10:07,671 --> 01:10:10,572 FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE. ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR MISSION? 1613 01:10:10,574 --> 01:10:11,573 DA, GRETCHEN. 1614 01:10:11,575 --> 01:10:13,441 HANDLE IT. 1615 01:10:13,443 --> 01:10:17,478 I SEE YOU BROUGHT OUT THE BIG GUNS. SHAKE THOSE BABIES. 1616 01:10:18,447 --> 01:10:21,382 SLICE MY GLAMAZON. TURN AROUND. 1617 01:10:21,384 --> 01:10:25,787 LET'S TIGHTEN UP THAT T-BACK. IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE. 1618 01:10:27,723 --> 01:10:30,325 EXCELLENT JOB, GRETCHEN. 1619 01:10:30,327 --> 01:10:32,460 THANK YOU. LET ME SEE THOSE TEARS. 1620 01:10:32,462 --> 01:10:35,230 ( crying ) 1621 01:10:35,232 --> 01:10:36,264 TOO MUCH? 1622 01:10:36,266 --> 01:10:38,366 NO, EXCELLENT. 1623 01:10:38,368 --> 01:10:40,935 IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO TAKE CARE OF THIS COURTNEY SITUATION. 1624 01:10:40,937 --> 01:10:45,406 WENDY, YOU KNOW YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS, RIGHT? YOU'RE MY SISTERS. 1625 01:10:45,408 --> 01:10:47,842 I COULDN'T ASK YOU TO DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO MYSELF. 1626 01:10:47,844 --> 01:10:50,645 THIS IS WAR... AND WE'RE THE SEX BOMBS. 1627 01:10:51,580 --> 01:10:53,881 ( crying ) 1628 01:10:53,883 --> 01:10:56,417 I'M SORRY, ARE YOU OK? 1629 01:10:56,419 --> 01:11:00,555 NO. MY PHONE DIED, AND I REALLY NEED TO SEND AN EMAIL, 1630 01:11:00,557 --> 01:11:02,423 OR MY BOSS IS GONNA FIRE ME. 1631 01:11:02,425 --> 01:11:04,959 THAT'S OKAY. I LIVE RIGHT HERE. 1632 01:11:04,961 --> 01:11:06,494 YOU CAN TOTALLY USE MY COMPUTER. 1633 01:11:06,496 --> 01:11:07,729 REALLY? 1634 01:11:07,731 --> 01:11:08,763 OF COURSE. 1635 01:11:08,765 --> 01:11:11,566 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1636 01:11:14,837 --> 01:11:16,771 REMEMBER WHEN YOU FIXED MY TRANSMISSION? 1637 01:11:16,773 --> 01:11:19,340 WELL, I'M PREGNANT. 1638 01:11:19,342 --> 01:11:21,042 I DON'T WANT A KID WITH YOU. 1639 01:11:21,044 --> 01:11:22,443 ME NEITHER. 1640 01:11:22,445 --> 01:11:23,778 HI. 1641 01:11:23,780 --> 01:11:25,513 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? ARE YOU CRAZY? 1642 01:11:25,515 --> 01:11:28,449 I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. MY WIFE IS UPSTAIRS. 1643 01:11:28,451 --> 01:11:31,052 WELL, I SUGGEST YOU TELL HER TO COME DOWN HERE. WHAT DO YOU WANT? 1644 01:11:31,054 --> 01:11:33,321 I'M PREGNANT. SHH! 1645 01:11:33,323 --> 01:11:36,357 SO, ANYWAY, I NEED MONEY TO TAKE CARE OF THIS. 1646 01:11:36,359 --> 01:11:39,927 NO, NO, NO. YOU SAID TO ME THAT YOU ARE USING CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS. 1647 01:11:39,929 --> 01:11:43,631 UGH, AZIS, I TOLD YOU, IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK ALL THE TIME. 1648 01:11:43,633 --> 01:11:45,800 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THAT'S NOT MY BABY. 1649 01:11:45,802 --> 01:11:47,835 I GOT SIX WHITE BITCHES ON DECK RIGHT NOW. 1650 01:11:47,837 --> 01:11:49,537 I GOT BABY MOMMA'S FROM HERE TO DETROIT. 1651 01:11:49,539 --> 01:11:50,538 YOU AIN'T SAYING NOTHING. 1652 01:11:50,540 --> 01:11:51,739 HOW MUCH TO SUCK IT OUT? 1653 01:11:51,741 --> 01:11:53,474 WANNA SPLIT IT? OKAY. 1654 01:11:53,476 --> 01:11:54,942 JONZO? YEAH? 1655 01:11:54,944 --> 01:11:57,412 JONZO, CAN I TALK TO YOU? WE'RE KIND OF BUSY HERE. 1656 01:11:57,414 --> 01:11:59,547 WELL, CAN YOU TAKE FIVE, 'CAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT. 1657 01:11:59,549 --> 01:12:00,948 WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF REHEARSAL. WHAT'S GOING ON? 1658 01:12:00,950 --> 01:12:02,083 DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER ME? 1659 01:12:02,085 --> 01:12:03,985 UM...YEAH. 1660 01:12:03,987 --> 01:12:05,920 THE BATHROOM AT THE BURGUNDY? 1661 01:12:05,922 --> 01:12:07,455 YEAH, THE FUCKING BATHROOM AT THE BURGUNDY. 1662 01:12:07,457 --> 01:12:08,823 I TOTALLY REMEMBER THAT. WHAT'S GOING ON? 1663 01:12:08,825 --> 01:12:10,491 I'M PREGNANT, THAT'S HOW I'M DOING. 1664 01:12:10,493 --> 01:12:12,560 PREGNANT? THIS IS GOOD NEWS. 1665 01:12:12,562 --> 01:12:14,028 THIS IS A GIFT FROM THE LORD. 1666 01:12:14,030 --> 01:12:15,963 NO, ACTUALLY, A GIFT FROM YOU. 1667 01:12:15,965 --> 01:12:19,434 $450. WELL, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY. 1668 01:12:19,436 --> 01:12:22,637 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING, DO YOU THINK WE COULD WORK SOMETHING OUT? 1669 01:12:22,639 --> 01:12:25,406 450? MORE LIKE 199! 1670 01:12:25,408 --> 01:12:28,409 SHIT, YOU WANNA FUCK WITH MISS KIM RIGHT THERE ON CRENSHAW AND FLORENCE. 1671 01:12:28,411 --> 01:12:29,677 HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW IT'S MINE? 1672 01:12:29,679 --> 01:12:30,845 'CAUSE YOU CAME IN ME! 1673 01:12:30,847 --> 01:12:32,714 I FUCKING REMEMBER THAT NIGHT. 1674 01:12:32,716 --> 01:12:34,716 I ASKED IF I COULD COME, YOU SAID YES, I COULD COME. 1675 01:12:34,718 --> 01:12:36,050 ON MY TITS! 1676 01:12:36,052 --> 01:12:38,386 FOUR HUNDRED AND FUCKING FIFTY DOLLARS! 1677 01:12:38,388 --> 01:12:39,654 I DON'T HAVE THAT MONEY ON ME. 1678 01:12:39,656 --> 01:12:41,089 YOU SHOULD SAY THAT. 1679 01:12:41,091 --> 01:12:42,657 WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THAT? 1680 01:12:42,659 --> 01:12:44,459 SHE GOT THIS NAIL SALON OUT FRONT, RIGHT, 1681 01:12:44,461 --> 01:12:46,461 BUT YOU GO TO THE BACK, SHE GOT THE ABORTION CLINIC. 1682 01:12:46,463 --> 01:12:48,996 COME ON. GET THE HELLS FROM OUT OF HERE. 1683 01:12:48,998 --> 01:12:51,032 GET YOUR NAILS DONE AT THE SAME TIME. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 1684 01:12:51,034 --> 01:12:52,467 PEDICURE, JUMP OFF, EVERYTHING. 1685 01:12:52,469 --> 01:12:53,701 IT WAS A LOT OF FUN. 1686 01:12:53,703 --> 01:12:55,670 DO YOUR HOMEWORK. 1687 01:12:55,672 --> 01:12:57,605 HE'S A FERTILE LITTLE FUCKER, OKAY? 1688 01:12:57,607 --> 01:12:58,906 YOU'RE PREGNANT? 1689 01:12:58,908 --> 01:13:01,676 SHIT. YOU THINK I GOT THIS MOTHERFUCKING PAID 1690 01:13:01,678 --> 01:13:03,010 FROM PAYING CHILD SUPPORT? 1691 01:13:03,012 --> 01:13:04,879 FUCK! FUCK! 1692 01:13:04,881 --> 01:13:06,614 AFTER THAT NIGHT, I NEVER HEARD FROM YOU. 1693 01:13:06,616 --> 01:13:08,616 YEAH, I'VE BEEN TAKING THE TRAIN, 1694 01:13:08,618 --> 01:13:10,451 BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M HERE ABOUT. 1695 01:13:10,453 --> 01:13:12,887 YOU SEE, I'M PREGNANT. 1696 01:13:12,889 --> 01:13:15,423 DON'T BE UPSET, DARLING. THAT'S WONDERFUL NEWS. 1697 01:13:15,425 --> 01:13:18,159 YOU CAN MOVE IN WITH ME. WE'RE GONNA HAVE LOTS OF CHILDREN, 1698 01:13:18,161 --> 01:13:19,627 BIG FAMILY, STRONG SONS. 1699 01:13:19,629 --> 01:13:21,596 I GOTTA GO. 1700 01:13:21,598 --> 01:13:24,866 I'VE HAD THIS ONE FANTASY FOR THE LONGEST TIME. 1701 01:13:26,568 --> 01:13:28,903 LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT. 1702 01:13:28,905 --> 01:13:31,739 OH, COME FUCKING ON! 1703 01:13:36,445 --> 01:13:39,514 ( sighs ) MARSHMALLOWY GOODNESS. 1704 01:13:39,516 --> 01:13:43,985 YOU KNOW, IT'S MY FAVORITE CEREAL. JUST SAYING. 1705 01:13:43,987 --> 01:13:47,088 THANK GOD. ( sighs ) 1706 01:13:47,090 --> 01:13:50,191 I NEED A DRINK. DO YOU HAVE ANY VODKA? 1707 01:13:50,193 --> 01:13:51,592 YEAH. YEAH? 1708 01:13:51,594 --> 01:13:53,661 YEAH, LET ME GO GET SOME. 1709 01:13:53,663 --> 01:13:55,696 AND, YOU KNOW, WE LOVE YOU TO DEATH, 1710 01:13:55,698 --> 01:13:57,198 AND IF ANYTHING WERE TO HAPPEN, 1711 01:13:57,200 --> 01:13:59,100 YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS COME BACK TO THE MEETINGS, 1712 01:13:59,102 --> 01:14:00,168 AND WE'D ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU. 1713 01:14:00,170 --> 01:14:01,803 THANK YOU. 1714 01:14:01,805 --> 01:14:05,473 MEMORY FOAM. I LOVE IT. 1715 01:14:05,475 --> 01:14:07,208 YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE ON A GOOD NIGHT IN BED. 1716 01:14:07,210 --> 01:14:08,876 DO YOU MIND IF I SMOKE? 1717 01:14:08,878 --> 01:14:10,945 NO. NO, NO, NO. BY ALL MEANS. 1718 01:14:10,947 --> 01:14:13,047 LET ME GO GET AN ASHTRAY. 1719 01:14:20,756 --> 01:14:22,056 HEY. 1720 01:14:22,058 --> 01:14:23,491 HEY, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 1721 01:14:23,493 --> 01:14:25,026 I'M ALL RIGHT, BUT, I DON'T KNOW, 1722 01:14:25,028 --> 01:14:27,094 I KIND OF FEEL LIKE THIS ONE IS BIGGER. 1723 01:14:27,096 --> 01:14:28,863 YOU CAN'T TELL ANYTHING UNTIL THE CAST IS OFF. 1724 01:14:28,865 --> 01:14:30,097 THEY'RE GONNA LOOK SO HOT. 1725 01:14:30,099 --> 01:14:31,666 THEY'LL SETTLE IN SOON, CUTIE. 1726 01:14:31,668 --> 01:14:33,668 YOU PROMISE? MM-HMM. 1727 01:14:33,670 --> 01:14:37,705 OKAY, YOU GUYS, LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. 1728 01:14:37,707 --> 01:14:40,541 HEY, MAX. YEAH. 1729 01:14:40,543 --> 01:14:42,977 PUT HIM ON SPEAKER. YEAH. 1730 01:14:42,979 --> 01:14:44,812 Max: I WAS THINKING WE COULD HANG OUT TONIGHT, BABE. 1731 01:14:44,814 --> 01:14:47,081 YOU KNOW WHAT, I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING. 1732 01:14:47,083 --> 01:14:49,250 ALL RIGHT, SO, YEAH, YOU KNOW, WE'LL MEET UP, 1733 01:14:49,252 --> 01:14:51,652 AND WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN TONIGHT, BABY. 1734 01:14:51,654 --> 01:14:53,721 MOTHERFUCKER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS DOUCHEBAG. 1735 01:14:53,723 --> 01:14:55,556 OH, WAIT, CAN YOU BRING YOUR FRIEND GLEN? 1736 01:14:55,558 --> 01:14:57,658 OH, YEAH, I'LL BRING HIM. I'M LOOKING AT HIS BIG ASS NOW, 1737 01:14:57,660 --> 01:14:59,160 MAKING A TRIPLE-DECKER SANDWICH. 1738 01:14:59,162 --> 01:15:00,828 Jasmine: OKAY, BIG KISS. ALL RIGHT. 1739 01:15:00,830 --> 01:15:02,263 THAT'S JASMINE? YVONNE'S FRIEND? 1740 01:15:02,265 --> 01:15:03,698 THAT'S A DANGEROUS GAME, MAN. 1741 01:15:03,700 --> 01:15:05,900 NAH, MAN, LOOK, ACTUALLY IT'S COOL 1742 01:15:05,902 --> 01:15:08,669 BECAUSE YVONNE'S IN THE HOSPITAL GETTING HER TITS DONE. 1743 01:15:08,671 --> 01:15:10,872 NICE ROTATION, BRO. 1744 01:15:10,874 --> 01:15:14,141 AND SHE'S BRINGING A FRIEND JUST FOR YOU! 1745 01:15:14,143 --> 01:15:16,110 WHAT?! YEAH, MAN! 1746 01:15:16,112 --> 01:15:18,746 YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL. WHAT COLOR IS THAT? 1747 01:15:18,748 --> 01:15:20,848 I'M A DIRTY BLONDE. 1748 01:15:20,850 --> 01:15:23,751 OHH. HEY, WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER DRINK? 1749 01:15:23,753 --> 01:15:26,754 I CAN'T TONIGHT, SWEETIE. IT'S MY TIME OF THE MONTH. 1750 01:15:26,756 --> 01:15:28,289 NO, NO, NO. I DIDN'T EVEN MEAN IT LIKE THAT. 1751 01:15:28,291 --> 01:15:29,790 OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T. 1752 01:15:29,792 --> 01:15:30,892 THAT'S NOT WHAT WAS TALKING ABOUT. 1753 01:15:30,894 --> 01:15:31,959 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING. 1754 01:15:31,961 --> 01:15:33,294 UM, CAN I USE YOUR RESTROOM? 1755 01:15:33,296 --> 01:15:36,597 YEAH. UH, IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE. 1756 01:15:48,110 --> 01:15:49,176 ( beeping ) 1757 01:15:50,312 --> 01:15:51,312 OHH. 1758 01:15:51,314 --> 01:15:53,748 ( sighs ) 1759 01:15:53,750 --> 01:15:55,783 ARE--ARE YOU OKAY? YEAH, IT'S JUST MY MOM. 1760 01:15:55,785 --> 01:15:58,920 MY STUPID KID'S ACTING UP, AND I HAVE TO GO AND SEE IT. 1761 01:15:58,922 --> 01:16:00,321 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE A MOM. 1762 01:16:00,323 --> 01:16:02,189 I KNOW, RIGHT? LOOK AT ME. 1763 01:16:02,191 --> 01:16:03,925 YOU'RE WAY TOO HOT TO BE A MOM. 1764 01:16:03,927 --> 01:16:05,660 EVERYBODY SAYS THAT. 1765 01:16:05,662 --> 01:16:07,562 I KNOW. I MEAN, I'M A GOOD MOM. 1766 01:16:07,564 --> 01:16:08,896 I SEE MY KID EVERY MONTH. 1767 01:16:08,898 --> 01:16:11,165 BUT I'M MORE WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 1768 01:16:11,167 --> 01:16:14,802 OH, I'M TOTALLY COOL. MY BOYFRIEND ACTUALLY LIVES RIGHT NEXT DOOR, SO... 1769 01:16:14,804 --> 01:16:17,004 Glen: SO SERIOUSLY YOU SAID SHE WAS BRINGING SOME FRIENDS? 1770 01:16:17,006 --> 01:16:18,606 TWO FRIENDS. TWO FRIENDS? 1771 01:16:18,608 --> 01:16:19,674 GRADE A FUCKING TAIL? 1772 01:16:19,676 --> 01:16:20,942 TWO TENDERONIES. TWO? 1773 01:16:20,944 --> 01:16:23,144 HEY, WHAT'S UP, GIRL? 1774 01:16:23,146 --> 01:16:25,813 HELLO. GLEN, THESE ARE MY FRIENDS CANDACE AND DENISE. 1775 01:16:25,815 --> 01:16:27,181 HI. HOW ARE YOU? HI. 1776 01:16:27,183 --> 01:16:28,282 YOU GUYS LOOK FANTASTIC. 1777 01:16:28,284 --> 01:16:30,051 I'M DOING GOOD OBVIOUSLY. 1778 01:16:30,053 --> 01:16:31,085 BYE. 1779 01:16:31,087 --> 01:16:32,253 BYE, AARON. 1780 01:16:32,255 --> 01:16:34,121 ( phone vibrating ) 1781 01:16:34,123 --> 01:16:35,790 HI, HEY, SWEETHEART. 1782 01:16:35,792 --> 01:16:38,225 GOT YOUR OWN LITTLE REFUGEE CAMBODIAN OUTFIT ON. 1783 01:16:38,227 --> 01:16:42,063 MM-HMM. MMM, YEAH. I LIKE THAT LOOK YOU GOT GOING ON. 1784 01:16:42,065 --> 01:16:44,365 LOOK LIKE YOU IN TRAINING MODE. YOU ARE READY FOR ACTION. 1785 01:16:44,367 --> 01:16:46,133 I KNOW. I'M A TOUGH GIRL. 1786 01:16:46,135 --> 01:16:47,902 I LIKE THESE LITTLE EARRINGS YOU GOT, TOO. 1787 01:16:47,904 --> 01:16:49,670 MMM, I LIKE THIS LITTLE THIGH MEAT STICKING OUT RIGHT HERE. 1788 01:16:49,672 --> 01:16:51,973 MEAT? GONNA STICK MY FORK IN IT! 1789 01:16:51,975 --> 01:16:56,310 ALISSA, AMY, CARMEN. 1790 01:16:56,312 --> 01:16:57,378 Glen: WHAT ARE WE HAVING? 1791 01:16:57,380 --> 01:16:58,813 LET'S DO SHOTS. 1792 01:16:58,815 --> 01:17:00,848 LET'S DO SHOTS. THAT SOUNDS GREAT. 1793 01:17:00,850 --> 01:17:02,383 IT'S EARLY. LET'S GET THE PARTY STARTED. 1794 01:17:02,385 --> 01:17:03,851 GLEN... 1795 01:17:03,853 --> 01:17:06,921 HEY, GRETCHEN. YEAH, WHAT'S UP? 1796 01:17:06,923 --> 01:17:09,357 I NEED TO TALK TO YOU... IN PRIVATE. 1797 01:17:09,359 --> 01:17:10,391 RIGHT NOW? 1798 01:17:10,393 --> 01:17:12,226 IT'S IMPORTANT. NOW. 1799 01:17:12,228 --> 01:17:15,863 OKAY. EXCUSE ME, LADIES. 1800 01:17:15,865 --> 01:17:19,400 ZELDA. SEND. 1801 01:17:19,402 --> 01:17:22,670 OH, IT'S THE TEXT. OH, THIS IS PRICELESS. 1802 01:17:22,672 --> 01:17:24,739 "IT'S MAX, AND I'M HORNY. 1803 01:17:24,741 --> 01:17:26,874 "WHICH ONE OF MY BITCHES IS UP RIGHT NOW, 1804 01:17:26,876 --> 01:17:28,409 "READY FOR A FACELOAD OF JIZZ? 1805 01:17:28,411 --> 01:17:29,977 I GOT THE BEER." 1806 01:17:29,979 --> 01:17:32,747 OH, MY GOD. THAT IS SO EPIC. 1807 01:17:32,749 --> 01:17:34,382 WHO DO YOU THINK THIS WENT OUT TO? 1808 01:17:34,384 --> 01:17:37,385 KNOWING WENDY, PROBABLY EVERY SINGLE FEMALE IN HIS PHONE. 1809 01:17:37,387 --> 01:17:38,753 ( beeping ) 1810 01:17:43,091 --> 01:17:44,392 FUCKING ASSCLOWN! 1811 01:17:46,728 --> 01:17:48,162 THANK YOU. 1812 01:17:49,898 --> 01:17:51,032 NO, I'M GOOD. 1813 01:17:51,034 --> 01:17:52,667 BUT WE USED A CONDOM. 1814 01:17:52,669 --> 01:17:55,670 ( sighs ) IT BROKE SOMETIMES, REMEMBER? 1815 01:17:55,672 --> 01:17:58,773 BECAUSE YOU WERE "TOO BIG"? 1816 01:17:58,775 --> 01:18:00,775 THANK YOU. 1817 01:18:00,777 --> 01:18:03,310 OH, MY GOD. LET ME SEE. 1818 01:18:03,312 --> 01:18:04,378 PERVERT! 1819 01:18:04,380 --> 01:18:05,980 FIVE MINUTES?! 1820 01:18:05,982 --> 01:18:07,915 UM, NO, NO, NO, IT'S FINE. TAKE YOUR TIME. 1821 01:18:07,917 --> 01:18:09,116 UM, I'M JUST GOING TO BE STRAIGHTENING UP. 1822 01:18:09,118 --> 01:18:10,785 OKAY. OKAY, BYE. 1823 01:18:10,787 --> 01:18:11,919 FUCK! 1824 01:18:15,190 --> 01:18:16,323 LOOK AT THAT KNEE. MMM. 1825 01:18:16,325 --> 01:18:18,259 UM, I HAVE TO GO. 1826 01:18:18,261 --> 01:18:19,694 WHAT? YEAH. 1827 01:18:19,696 --> 01:18:20,695 YOU GOTTA GO? MM-HMM. 1828 01:18:20,697 --> 01:18:21,929 WHY? 1829 01:18:21,931 --> 01:18:23,731 NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. GIRL STUFF. COME ON. 1830 01:18:23,733 --> 01:18:26,767 GIRL STUFF? NO, YOU DID NOT JUST KISS ME ON MY FOREHEAD. 1831 01:18:29,204 --> 01:18:30,271 $500. 1832 01:18:30,273 --> 01:18:32,473 $500? I KNOW. 1833 01:18:32,475 --> 01:18:34,075 DO YOU HAVE ANY OF IT? 1834 01:18:34,077 --> 01:18:35,376 NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY OF IT. 1835 01:18:35,378 --> 01:18:37,011 THAT'S WHY I'M HERE TALKING TO YOU. 1836 01:18:37,013 --> 01:18:38,379 I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, I COULD ASK MY MOM, 1837 01:18:38,381 --> 01:18:40,481 BUT SHE WANTS GRANDKIDS, SO WHAT... GOD. 1838 01:18:40,483 --> 01:18:42,216 DID YOU DO ANY, LIKE, SHOPPING AROUND? 1839 01:18:42,218 --> 01:18:43,350 IT'S MY VAGINA! 1840 01:18:43,352 --> 01:18:44,385 ( phone rings ) 1841 01:18:44,387 --> 01:18:46,020 Text voice: IT'S MAX. 1842 01:18:46,022 --> 01:18:47,755 IT'S FROM MAX! 1843 01:18:47,757 --> 01:18:49,824 "TEXT TO LANDLINE" MESSAGE. IT'S MAX. 1844 01:18:49,826 --> 01:18:51,826 IT'S A "TEXT TO LANDLINE" MESSAGE. 1845 01:18:51,828 --> 01:18:54,462 ...AND READY FOR A FACELOAD OF JIZZ? 1846 01:18:54,464 --> 01:18:57,898 WHAT IDIOTS. THEY TOTALLY DESERVED IT. 1847 01:18:57,900 --> 01:18:58,999 ( beeping ) 1848 01:19:00,102 --> 01:19:01,135 OH... 1849 01:19:01,137 --> 01:19:02,837 MOMMY, WHAT'S "JIZZ" MEAN? 1850 01:19:02,839 --> 01:19:06,507 WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FILTH? 1851 01:19:06,509 --> 01:19:08,042 MAX. 1852 01:19:10,245 --> 01:19:15,116 ( phone vibrates and rings ) 1853 01:19:15,118 --> 01:19:18,018 PICK UP! 1854 01:19:18,020 --> 01:19:19,787 SCHOOL'S OUT, AARON. 1855 01:19:19,789 --> 01:19:21,122 JOHNNY...I FUCKED UP. 1856 01:19:21,124 --> 01:19:22,289 OKAY, RELAX. 1857 01:19:22,291 --> 01:19:24,525 ALL RIGHT, MR. "PERFECT BOYFRIEND," 1858 01:19:24,527 --> 01:19:28,796 LOOK, JUST STOP AND THINK. WHAT DID SHE TOUCH? 1859 01:19:28,798 --> 01:19:31,999 Johnny: DID SHE DRINK ANYTHING? CHECK FOR LIPSTICK. 1860 01:19:33,301 --> 01:19:36,003 WHAT ABOUT CIGARETTES? WAS SHE SMOKING? 1861 01:19:36,005 --> 01:19:39,039 CHECK THE BED. TAKE A LINT ROLLER TO THE BED. 1862 01:19:39,041 --> 01:19:42,176 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, TAKE A DEEP BREATH. 1863 01:19:42,178 --> 01:19:44,178 JUST LOOK AROUND CAREFULLY. 1864 01:19:44,180 --> 01:19:46,881 LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. 1865 01:19:46,883 --> 01:19:48,482 HI. 1866 01:19:48,484 --> 01:19:51,285 MMM, LUCKY YOU WERE JUST AROUND THE CORNER! 1867 01:19:51,287 --> 01:19:53,220 HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING? 1868 01:19:53,222 --> 01:19:56,123 NO. NO. 1869 01:19:56,125 --> 01:19:57,825 WHAT ARE YOU--NO. 1870 01:20:01,830 --> 01:20:03,831 OH, MY GOD. 1871 01:20:07,402 --> 01:20:09,970 SHIT. 1872 01:20:17,112 --> 01:20:18,379 ( phone ringing ) 1873 01:20:18,381 --> 01:20:19,947 YOU WERE RIGHT. 1874 01:20:19,949 --> 01:20:23,350 HE JUST HAD SOME MENSTRUATING WHORE OVER HERE! 1875 01:20:23,352 --> 01:20:26,854 COME ON, SWEETIE. YOU KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME. 1876 01:20:26,856 --> 01:20:28,255 I KNOW. I JUST... 1877 01:20:28,257 --> 01:20:30,925 I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN SO SOON. 1878 01:20:30,927 --> 01:20:34,328 I MEAN, I REALLY, REALLY LIKED HIM. 1879 01:20:34,330 --> 01:20:37,164 YEAH, SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM. I THINK IT'S COOL. 1880 01:20:37,166 --> 01:20:40,201 UH, THANK YOU SO MUCH, MAN. SERIOUSLY YOU SAVED MY LIFE. 1881 01:20:40,203 --> 01:20:43,604 NO PROBLEM, BUT, DUDE, IF YOU INSIST ON HAVING A GIRLFRIEND-- 1882 01:20:43,606 --> 01:20:46,607 NO, NO, NO. I WASN'T EVEN GOING TO DO ANYTHING, DUDE. PLUS, SHE WAS ON HER PERIOD. 1883 01:20:46,609 --> 01:20:50,177 HER PERIOD. DID YOU CHECK THE BATHROOM? 1884 01:20:50,179 --> 01:20:52,880 OH, FUCK! OH, SHIT! 1885 01:20:52,882 --> 01:20:56,250 HE'S A BOY. BOYS WOULD FUCK A STICK OF BUTTER IF THEY COULD. 1886 01:20:56,252 --> 01:20:59,486 HE'S BASICALLY AS FAITHFUL AS THE OPTIONS OPEN TO HIM. 1887 01:20:59,488 --> 01:21:00,888 I'M GONNA KILL HIM. 1888 01:21:00,890 --> 01:21:02,556 NO. DON'T DO A THING. 1889 01:21:02,558 --> 01:21:05,226 YOU'VE GOT A BIRTHDAY COMING UP NEXT WEEKEND, DON'T YOU? 1890 01:21:05,228 --> 01:21:06,427 YES. 1891 01:21:06,429 --> 01:21:09,430 OKAY, CLEAN UP THE BLOOD, DRY YOUR EYES, 1892 01:21:09,432 --> 01:21:11,065 AND PRETEND LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. 1893 01:21:11,067 --> 01:21:13,400 WE ARE GOING TO TURN THIS WHOLE THING AROUND. 1894 01:21:13,402 --> 01:21:17,371 OKAY. CAN I COME BACK TO THE MEETINGS? 1895 01:21:17,373 --> 01:21:19,473 OF COURSE YOU CAN, SWEETIE. 1896 01:21:19,475 --> 01:21:22,309 COME NEXT WEEK, WE'LL GET YOU TASSELED IN, AND WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN. 1897 01:21:22,311 --> 01:21:27,047 OH, AND YVONNE'S GOING TO BE UNVEILING HER NEW BOOBIES! 1898 01:21:27,049 --> 01:21:28,649 GOOD. I CANT WAIT. 1899 01:21:28,651 --> 01:21:31,385 THANKS. 1900 01:21:31,387 --> 01:21:32,553 HEY, GUYS. 1901 01:21:32,555 --> 01:21:33,954 GIRL, WHAT'S UP? 1902 01:21:33,956 --> 01:21:35,422 HOW DID IT GO? HOW DID IT GO? 1903 01:21:35,424 --> 01:21:36,490 AWESOME! 1904 01:21:36,492 --> 01:21:38,259 GET DOWN! YEAH, WE DID! 1905 01:21:38,261 --> 01:21:39,660 WE SENT THE TEXT MESSAGE FROM HELL! 1906 01:21:39,662 --> 01:21:41,295 I'M SORRY I WASN'T THERE. 1907 01:21:41,297 --> 01:21:43,230 ( all speaking at once ) 1908 01:21:43,232 --> 01:21:46,200 THEY KNOW WHO'S IN CHARGE. ABSOLUTELY. 1909 01:21:46,202 --> 01:21:47,401 BABE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 1910 01:21:47,403 --> 01:21:49,136 ( sadly ) YES. 1911 01:21:49,138 --> 01:21:50,971 ARE YOU CRYING? 1912 01:21:50,973 --> 01:21:54,141 NO. IT'S MY ALLERGIES. 1913 01:21:54,143 --> 01:21:57,344 SO, WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY? 1914 01:21:57,346 --> 01:22:00,614 UM, WHAT ABOUT THAT LITTLE RESTAURANT YOU LIKE DOWNTOWN? 1915 01:22:00,616 --> 01:22:02,917 YEAH. WHAT ABOUT MAUI? 1916 01:22:02,919 --> 01:22:04,485 ( grunts ) 1917 01:22:04,487 --> 01:22:06,086 WHERE YOU BEEN AT, MAN? 1918 01:22:06,088 --> 01:22:07,655 BEEN AT THE FUCKING ATM. 1919 01:22:07,657 --> 01:22:10,057 THIS IS... THIS IS DEEP SHIT, MAN. 1920 01:22:10,059 --> 01:22:13,193 SHIT. YOU GOT NO IDEA, MAN. I BEEN GETTING SOME CRAZY ASS TEXT MESSAGES. 1921 01:22:13,195 --> 01:22:15,329 YEAH? ( phone ringing ) 1922 01:22:16,631 --> 01:22:18,532 HEY, WHAT'S UP, MOM? 1923 01:22:21,002 --> 01:22:23,037 ♪ WE ARE THE LADIES OF THE T.O.B. ♪ 1924 01:22:23,039 --> 01:22:24,438 ♪ WITH THE BOOTY THAT THEY WANT ♪ 1925 01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:26,140 ♪ BUT THIS SHIT AIN'T CHEAP 1926 01:22:26,142 --> 01:22:29,076 ♪ WE NEED MORE JEWELRY AND TIGS FOR RELAXIN' ♪ 1927 01:22:29,078 --> 01:22:31,645 ♪ TANNING BOOTHS AND SILICON AND INTIMATE WAXIN' ♪ 1928 01:22:31,647 --> 01:22:34,448 ♪ WE NEVER HAVE TO PAY 'CAUSE WE GOT THESE ♪ 1929 01:22:34,450 --> 01:22:37,217 ♪ TIG OLD BITTIES, WE RUN THIS CITY ♪ 1930 01:22:37,219 --> 01:22:39,720 ♪ COURTNEY'S IN OUR GANG 'CAUSE SHE'S GOT TIG BITTIES ♪ 1931 01:22:39,722 --> 01:22:41,455 ( cheering ) 1932 01:22:41,457 --> 01:22:43,057 YOU DODGED A BULLET, MY FRIEND. 1933 01:22:43,059 --> 01:22:46,226 $450 FOR AN ABORTION, OR 18 YEARS OF CHILD SUPPORT? 1934 01:22:46,228 --> 01:22:47,328 THAT IS A LOT OF MONEY. 1935 01:22:47,330 --> 01:22:48,629 YEAH, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY. 1936 01:22:48,631 --> 01:22:50,197 NOW, COURTNEY, THAT WAS THE EASY PART, 1937 01:22:50,199 --> 01:22:52,399 BUT TIME TO JUMP YOU IN! 1938 01:22:52,401 --> 01:22:55,202 ( cheering ) 1939 01:22:55,204 --> 01:22:57,571 ( chanting ) COURTNEY, COURTNEY, COURTNEY... 1940 01:23:03,345 --> 01:23:05,412 ( cheering, screaming ) 1941 01:23:12,620 --> 01:23:14,121 ONCHIE! ONCHIE! 1942 01:23:14,123 --> 01:23:16,056 AND WHAT ARE YOU SO MISERABLE ABOUT? 1943 01:23:16,058 --> 01:23:17,091 YOU GOT LUCKY, TOO. 1944 01:23:17,093 --> 01:23:18,492 I KNOW. I JUST FEEL BAD. 1945 01:23:18,494 --> 01:23:20,060 WHY? 'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET TO FUCK 1946 01:23:20,062 --> 01:23:21,428 THAT CENTERFOLD YOU "HELPED"? 1947 01:23:21,430 --> 01:23:23,430 DID THEY PAY UP? MOSTLY. 1948 01:23:23,432 --> 01:23:25,532 GOD, I'VE FUCKED SOME CHEAP BASTARDS. 1949 01:23:25,534 --> 01:23:27,368 BUT WE DID MAKE SOME MONEY, RIGHT, WENDY? 1950 01:23:27,370 --> 01:23:29,703 WELL, BECAUSE OF YOU, GRETCHEN, $2000! 1951 01:23:29,705 --> 01:23:32,439 HOLLA! HOLLA! NICE. 1952 01:23:32,441 --> 01:23:34,508 DUDE, SHE ASKED ME TO TAKE HER TO HAWAII FOR HER BIRTHDAY. 1953 01:23:34,510 --> 01:23:36,010 ( laughing ) 1954 01:23:36,012 --> 01:23:39,013 YOU'RE 25. YOU DON'T NEED ALL THAT! 1955 01:23:39,015 --> 01:23:40,114 NO, I KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT. 1956 01:23:40,116 --> 01:23:41,215 I SHOULD PROBABLY CALL HER, MAN, 1957 01:23:41,217 --> 01:23:43,017 AND MAKE THINGS A BIT LESS FORMAL. 1958 01:23:43,019 --> 01:23:44,018 CALL HER. 1959 01:23:44,020 --> 01:23:45,019 ( laughing ) 1960 01:23:45,021 --> 01:23:46,353 ( phone vibrating ) 1961 01:23:46,355 --> 01:23:49,390 OH, IT'S THE BOY. SHALL I DITCH IT? 1962 01:23:49,392 --> 01:23:51,191 NO. TAKE IT. THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC. 1963 01:23:51,193 --> 01:23:53,027 YEAH, AND FIND OUT WHAT HIS LITTLE FRIENDS ARE DOING. 1964 01:23:53,029 --> 01:23:54,762 OKAY. 1965 01:23:54,764 --> 01:23:56,397 HELLO? 1966 01:23:56,399 --> 01:23:57,731 WHERE IS YVONNE? 1967 01:23:57,733 --> 01:23:59,733 I ALWAYS DITCH THEM ALL EVERY SIX MONTHS. 1968 01:23:59,735 --> 01:24:00,734 IT'S VERY LIBERATING. 1969 01:24:00,736 --> 01:24:02,603 ALL EXCEPT THE ONE YOU LOVED. 1970 01:24:02,605 --> 01:24:04,538 COME ON, DUDE, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT, MAN. 1971 01:24:04,540 --> 01:24:06,273 WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHAT HAPPENED? 1972 01:24:06,275 --> 01:24:08,575 ( crying ) 1973 01:24:08,577 --> 01:24:11,211 THEY'RE PARTYING! 1974 01:24:11,213 --> 01:24:14,381 ONE IS EXCITED BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE TO HAVE A KID, 1975 01:24:14,383 --> 01:24:17,217 AND THE OTHER ONE HAS A BUNCH OF DATES LINED UP, 1976 01:24:17,219 --> 01:24:21,355 AND AARON WANTS TO MAKE THINGS "LESS FORMAL." 1977 01:24:21,357 --> 01:24:22,756 OHH... OHH... 1978 01:24:25,760 --> 01:24:27,428 WHAT'S THE MATTER, SWEETHEART? 1979 01:24:27,430 --> 01:24:29,296 SHOW THEM. 1980 01:24:30,231 --> 01:24:32,332 ( sniffling ) 1981 01:24:32,334 --> 01:24:34,568 ( crying ) 1982 01:24:34,570 --> 01:24:36,170 ( women gasping ) 1983 01:24:36,172 --> 01:24:38,305 OHH! WHAT?! OH, MY GOD! 1984 01:24:38,307 --> 01:24:42,376 HE SAID THAT ONE OF THE IMPLANTS WAS CRACKED 1985 01:24:42,378 --> 01:24:46,580 AND THAT THEY DIDN'T NOTICE UNTIL THEY WERE GONNA IMPLANT IT. 1986 01:24:46,582 --> 01:24:48,248 DICK. ASSHOLE! 1987 01:24:48,250 --> 01:24:49,383 WHEN IS HE GONNA DO THE OTHER ONE? 1988 01:24:49,385 --> 01:24:50,851 HE SAID BOOKED ALL MONTH, 1989 01:24:50,853 --> 01:24:55,823 BUT HE WANTS TO TAKE ME TO VEGAS NEXT WEEK! 1990 01:24:55,825 --> 01:24:58,192 SNEAKY LITTLE BASTARD! 1991 01:24:58,194 --> 01:24:59,593 AND LOOK WHAT HE GAVE HER FOR HER SCAR TISSUE. 1992 01:24:59,595 --> 01:25:02,663 LOOK WHAT HE GAVE ME FOR THE SCAR TISSUE. 1993 01:25:02,665 --> 01:25:04,465 KELOCOTE. 1994 01:25:04,467 --> 01:25:05,732 KELOCOTE. 1995 01:25:05,734 --> 01:25:08,302 JOHNNY EYELASH. 1996 01:25:08,304 --> 01:25:11,605 WAIT. AARON HAS A FRIEND NAMED JOHNNY. 1997 01:25:11,607 --> 01:25:13,407 SO DOES MAX. 1998 01:25:13,409 --> 01:25:16,743 SO DOES GLEN, AND HE'S ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HOW COOL HE IS. 1999 01:25:16,745 --> 01:25:18,445 WHO IS THIS JOHNNY EYELASHES? 2000 01:25:18,447 --> 01:25:20,481 I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HIS FAGGY LITTLE FINGERPRINTS 2001 01:25:20,483 --> 01:25:21,615 WERE ALL OVER THIS. 2002 01:25:21,617 --> 01:25:23,750 HE WAS PULLING THE STRINGS ALL ALONG. 2003 01:25:23,752 --> 01:25:27,421 WHO IS THIS JOHNNY EYELASH, AND WHY IS HE RUINING MY LIFE? 2004 01:25:27,423 --> 01:25:32,426 HE'S A BOY THAT I... WE USED TO DATE. 2005 01:25:34,195 --> 01:25:36,163 Max: SHE WAS AMAZING. 2006 01:25:36,165 --> 01:25:37,531 I WAS IN NEW YORK. 2007 01:25:37,533 --> 01:25:39,700 WE WERE YOUNG, WE WERE LIVING TOGETHER, 2008 01:25:39,702 --> 01:25:42,836 AND I WAS REALLY IN LOVE WITH HER. I WAS REALLY HAPPY. 2009 01:25:42,838 --> 01:25:45,339 Little Wendy: I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH. 2010 01:25:45,341 --> 01:25:47,641 Big Wendy: I KNEW HIM, TOO. THAT'S HOW WE MET. 2011 01:25:47,643 --> 01:25:49,443 HE HAS A LONG HISTORY WITH THIS GANG. 2012 01:25:49,445 --> 01:25:51,912 HE'S THE REASON WHY WE STARTED THE T.O.B. 2013 01:25:51,914 --> 01:25:54,781 YEAH, WHAT DOES T.O.B. STAND FOR? 2014 01:25:54,783 --> 01:25:56,316 I WAS REALLY INTO HER, 2015 01:25:56,318 --> 01:25:58,585 BUT SHE WAS A FUCKING PSYCHO NIGHTMARE. 2016 01:25:58,587 --> 01:26:00,687 I MEAN, THIS CHICK WAS BATS. 2017 01:26:00,689 --> 01:26:02,523 Little Wendy: I'D BEEN DATING HIM FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS. 2018 01:26:02,525 --> 01:26:06,393 I WAS YOUNG AND IN LOVE. WE HAD JUST MOVED IN TOGETHER. 2019 01:26:06,395 --> 01:26:08,729 IT WAS ONE OF THOSE DAYS IN SPRING 2020 01:26:08,731 --> 01:26:11,165 WHERE YOU JUST WANT TO STAY OUTSIDE ALL DAY. 2021 01:26:11,167 --> 01:26:12,666 Johnny: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU EVER LIVED IN NEW YORK, 2022 01:26:12,668 --> 01:26:14,668 BUT THERE'S THAT ONE DAY IN SPRING 2023 01:26:14,670 --> 01:26:16,403 WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE, BAM-- 2024 01:26:16,405 --> 01:26:18,839 TITTIES AND MIDRIFFS EVERYWHERE. 2025 01:26:18,841 --> 01:26:20,440 Little Wendy: SO WE'RE HAVING A NICE WALK 2026 01:26:20,442 --> 01:26:22,676 WHEN THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL WALKS PAST. 2027 01:26:22,678 --> 01:26:24,845 IT WAS WENDY. 2028 01:26:24,847 --> 01:26:26,813 I WAS YOUNG AND UNPREPARED FOR IT, 2029 01:26:26,815 --> 01:26:28,549 THEN THIS SMOKING CHICK WALKED PAST, 2030 01:26:28,551 --> 01:26:30,684 WITH TITTIES FROM HELL. 2031 01:26:30,686 --> 01:26:33,620 I MEAN, BIG ONES, BRAND-NEW, OUT ON DISPLAY, 2032 01:26:33,622 --> 01:26:36,323 SO I CATCH HER OUT THE CORNER OF MY EYE. 2033 01:26:36,325 --> 01:26:37,858 TIG OLD BITTIES! 2034 01:26:37,860 --> 01:26:39,760 Little Wendy: AND THIS WAS BEFORE I HAD MY BOOBS, 2035 01:26:39,762 --> 01:26:42,429 SO I WAS LITTLE BIT MORE SENSITIVE ABOUT IT BACK THEN. 2036 01:26:42,431 --> 01:26:44,965 Johnny: SHE JUST WENT FUCKING CRAZY. 2037 01:26:44,967 --> 01:26:46,967 SO LATER THAT NIGHT WE WERE AT THIS CLUB, RIGHT? 2038 01:26:46,969 --> 01:26:48,602 AND I SEE THIS CHICK AGAIN. 2039 01:26:48,604 --> 01:26:50,971 SO WE WENT INTO ONE OF THOSE UNISEX BATHROOMS. 2040 01:26:50,973 --> 01:26:52,506 ANYWAYS, I'M IN THE STALL, 2041 01:26:52,508 --> 01:26:53,974 AND I'M GETTING A BLOWJOB, RIGHT? 2042 01:26:53,976 --> 01:26:55,509 AND SHE JUST BUST RIGHT IN. 2043 01:26:55,511 --> 01:26:57,377 Little Wendy: I SAW WENDY IN THERE, 2044 01:26:57,379 --> 01:26:58,912 AND I DIDN'T KNOW HER NAME, SO I JUST SCREAMED, 2045 01:26:58,914 --> 01:27:00,847 "TIG OLD BITTIES! THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND." 2046 01:27:00,849 --> 01:27:03,417 Johnny: AND THE OTHER ONE, SHE SPAT ON ME-- 2047 01:27:03,419 --> 01:27:04,785 MY OWN JIZZ! 2048 01:27:04,787 --> 01:27:07,321 YEAH, AND IT DOES BURN, BY THE WAY. 2049 01:27:07,323 --> 01:27:09,590 BUT WENDY WAS NICE. SHE DIDN'T KNOW. 2050 01:27:09,592 --> 01:27:12,659 SHE SAID SHE WAS SORRY, AND WE BECAME FRIENDS. 2051 01:27:12,661 --> 01:27:14,461 AND WE ENDED UP MEETING FABIO 2052 01:27:14,463 --> 01:27:17,297 AND HAVING THIS CRAZY THREEWAY BACK AT THE HOTEL. 2053 01:27:17,299 --> 01:27:18,865 ( women laughing ) 2054 01:27:21,469 --> 01:27:23,337 FABIO! 2055 01:27:23,339 --> 01:27:24,905 FABIO! 2056 01:27:26,474 --> 01:27:27,841 OH, WENDY, DON'T WORRY. 2057 01:27:27,843 --> 01:27:30,277 THERE'S PLENTY OF FABIO TO GO AROUND. 2058 01:27:30,279 --> 01:27:32,946 FUNNY THING, THEY WERE BOTH CALLED WENDY. 2059 01:27:32,948 --> 01:27:36,316 WENDY? THAT CHICK THAT CAME OVER 2060 01:27:36,318 --> 01:27:38,418 AND NEARLY GOT ME BUSTED WAS NAMED WENDY. 2061 01:27:38,420 --> 01:27:40,821 YEAH, YVONNE'S ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT THE WENDYS. 2062 01:27:40,823 --> 01:27:42,923 WENDYS! OF COURSE. 2063 01:27:42,925 --> 01:27:47,361 IT WAS THEM ALL ALONG. THOSE LITTLE BITCHES. 2064 01:27:50,765 --> 01:27:52,466 JOHNNY EYELASH. 2065 01:27:52,468 --> 01:27:55,535 WE'RE GONNA TAKE HIM DOWN ONCE AND FOR ALL. 2066 01:27:55,537 --> 01:27:57,771 HE STARTED ALL THIS, AND WE'RE GONNA FINISH IT. 2067 01:27:57,773 --> 01:28:00,974 BUT TO DO IT, WE NEED TO MOVE TO A NEW STAGE OF OUR LIVES. 2068 01:28:00,976 --> 01:28:02,376 YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, WENDY. 2069 01:28:02,378 --> 01:28:05,312 YES, I DO. THE NUCLEAR OPTION. 2070 01:28:09,617 --> 01:28:11,518 JOHNNY! HOW ARE YOU DOING? 2071 01:28:11,520 --> 01:28:13,053 WHAT'S UP, BRO? 2072 01:28:13,055 --> 01:28:15,022 THANK YOU. YOU GOT IT. 2073 01:28:16,758 --> 01:28:19,993 JOHNNY EYELASH. COME OVER HERE. 2074 01:28:19,995 --> 01:28:22,829 OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU TWO WANT? 2075 01:28:22,831 --> 01:28:26,867 OH, JOHNNY EYELASH. ALWAYS THE CHARMER, AREN'T YA? 2076 01:28:26,869 --> 01:28:28,669 EXCEPT WHEN YOU'RE CHEATING ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 2077 01:28:28,671 --> 01:28:30,070 WHAT IS THIS, ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR LITTLE SCHEMES 2078 01:28:30,072 --> 01:28:31,405 TO PULL OVER ON ME AND MY BOYS? 2079 01:28:31,407 --> 01:28:33,307 NO. CALM DOWN. 2080 01:28:33,309 --> 01:28:35,809 WE'RE JUST EXTENDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. OH, REALLY? 2081 01:28:35,811 --> 01:28:36,977 COME AND SIT OVER HERE, JOHNNY. 2082 01:28:36,979 --> 01:28:38,345 I'M OKAY RIGHT HERE, THANKS. 2083 01:28:38,347 --> 01:28:40,013 OUCH. OUCH. 2084 01:28:40,015 --> 01:28:42,482 VODKA GIMLET, RIGHT? 2085 01:28:44,952 --> 01:28:46,086 THANK YOU. 2086 01:28:46,088 --> 01:28:47,954 SO HOW IS THE BOOB CREAM BUSINESS? 2087 01:28:47,956 --> 01:28:52,392 IT'S GOING WELL, ACTUALLY. THANK YOU FOR ASKING. 2088 01:28:52,394 --> 01:28:54,461 AND HOW IS YOUR "WORK" GOING? 2089 01:28:54,463 --> 01:28:55,562 GOOD. YEAH? 2090 01:28:55,564 --> 01:28:57,564 WE HAVE A HOUSE. SERIOUSLY? 2091 01:28:57,566 --> 01:28:59,499 YEAH. AND A COMMITTEE. 2092 01:28:59,501 --> 01:29:01,968 YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THE COMMITTEE. AND A BUNCH OF GIRLS. 2093 01:29:01,970 --> 01:29:04,671 SO WHAT, ARE YOU GUYS DRINKING, TOO? OR AM I ON MY OWN? 2094 01:29:04,673 --> 01:29:06,406 COME ON, COME SIT OVER HERE. OKAY. 2095 01:29:06,408 --> 01:29:07,774 UHH. 2096 01:29:07,776 --> 01:29:10,610 SO, JOHNNY, YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE FIRST MET, RIGHT? 2097 01:29:10,612 --> 01:29:11,712 YEAH, I REMEMBER. 2098 01:29:11,714 --> 01:29:13,013 LET'S DO A TOAST. 2099 01:29:13,015 --> 01:29:14,081 OF COURSE I REMEMBER. YOU WERE SO HOT. 2100 01:29:14,083 --> 01:29:15,582 ALL RIGHT, A TOAST. 2101 01:29:15,584 --> 01:29:16,683 ( all speaking at once ) 2102 01:29:16,685 --> 01:29:19,386 TO NEW TIMES. AND OLD TIMES. 2103 01:29:19,388 --> 01:29:21,455 IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 2104 01:29:21,457 --> 01:29:23,023 IT WASN'T MY FINEST MOMENT, SORRY. 2105 01:29:23,025 --> 01:29:24,858 YOU WANNA GET COZY, PLEASE? ALL RIGHT. 2106 01:29:24,860 --> 01:29:25,859 WENDY, TELL HIM. 2107 01:29:25,861 --> 01:29:26,893 YEAH, WENDY, TELL HIM. 2108 01:29:26,895 --> 01:29:28,862 WE WANT A BABY. 2109 01:29:28,864 --> 01:29:30,063 ( laughs ) 2110 01:29:30,065 --> 01:29:31,598 SERIOUSLY? 2111 01:29:31,600 --> 01:29:33,633 YEAH. WE'RE SICK OF ALL THE PARTIES 2112 01:29:33,635 --> 01:29:35,669 AND TRYING TO FIND THE PERFECT GUY. 2113 01:29:35,671 --> 01:29:37,637 YOU WANT ME TO GET ONE OF YOU TWO PREGNANT? 2114 01:29:37,639 --> 01:29:39,473 WENDY AND I LIKE EACH OTHER. 2115 01:29:39,475 --> 01:29:43,143 A LOT, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 2116 01:29:43,145 --> 01:29:46,012 BUT WE BOTH STILL LIKE DICK. 2117 01:29:46,014 --> 01:29:47,748 SO HERE'S WHAT WE'RE THINKING. 2118 01:29:47,750 --> 01:29:50,117 WHY DON'T WE POOL OUR RESOURCES, 2119 01:29:50,119 --> 01:29:51,785 AND THE THREE OF US MOVE IN TOGETHER? 2120 01:29:51,787 --> 01:29:52,786 THE THREE OF US LIVE TOGETHER? 2121 01:29:52,788 --> 01:29:54,688 UH-HUH. OH, MY GOD. 2122 01:29:54,690 --> 01:29:56,390 WE ALL SLEEP TOGETHER, 2123 01:29:56,392 --> 01:29:57,758 BUT THE DEAL IS NONE OF US THREE 2124 01:29:57,760 --> 01:29:59,092 CAN SLEEP WITH ANYBODY ELSE. 2125 01:29:59,094 --> 01:30:00,827 AND TO KEEP THE BOND STRONG, 2126 01:30:00,829 --> 01:30:03,430 YOU HAVE TO MARRY ONE OF US, AND GET THE OTHER ONE PREGNANT. 2127 01:30:03,432 --> 01:30:05,165 OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE... MARRY? 2128 01:30:05,167 --> 01:30:06,900 UH-HUH. DON'T YOU WANT A SON? 2129 01:30:06,902 --> 01:30:11,705 AND YOU GET TO SHOW US BOTH OFF, ONE ON EACH ARM. 2130 01:30:11,707 --> 01:30:15,976 AND YOU GET YOUR CHOICE OF SIX HOLES. 2131 01:30:15,978 --> 01:30:18,678 EVERY NIGHT. EVERY NIGHT. 2132 01:30:18,680 --> 01:30:21,515 WE WILL FUCK YOU INTO LITTLE PIECES. 2133 01:30:21,517 --> 01:30:23,049 IN HALF. 2134 01:30:23,051 --> 01:30:25,185 UPSIDE-DOWN. 2135 01:30:25,187 --> 01:30:28,188 THIS IS BULLSHIT. I WANNA GO FIRST. HE LIKES ME BETTER. 2136 01:30:28,190 --> 01:30:30,857 I WANT TO SUCK IT. NO, I WANT TO SUCK IT. 2137 01:30:30,859 --> 01:30:31,892 HEY, HEY, HEY, LADIES! 2138 01:30:31,894 --> 01:30:33,760 BULLSHIT, YOU WENT LAST NIGHT. 2139 01:30:33,762 --> 01:30:35,462 YOU SUCKED IT FIRST THIS MORNING. IT'S MY TURN. 2140 01:30:35,464 --> 01:30:37,697 OKAY, OKAY, LADIES, DON'T BE GREEDY. 2141 01:30:37,699 --> 01:30:38,999 YOU CAN SHARE, ALL RIGHT? 2142 01:30:39,001 --> 01:30:41,568 YOU GET THE LEFT SIDE, YOU GET THE RIGHT SIDE. 2143 01:30:41,570 --> 01:30:42,769 ONE BALL EACH. 2144 01:30:42,771 --> 01:30:45,138 AND, GO. 2145 01:30:45,140 --> 01:30:46,706 ( women giggling ) 2146 01:30:46,708 --> 01:30:50,544 OKAY. WHOA, SLOW IT DOWN. 2147 01:30:50,546 --> 01:30:52,813 BUT YOU CAN'T CHEAT. NEVER. 2148 01:30:52,815 --> 01:30:54,948 OR YOU'LL PAY. NO WAY. 2149 01:30:54,950 --> 01:30:57,984 LOOK, I COULD SERIOUSLY CONSIDER THIS KIND OF AN ARRANGEMENT. 2150 01:30:57,986 --> 01:30:59,719 AND I WOULD NEVER CHEAT. 2151 01:30:59,721 --> 01:31:01,455 NEVER. NO WAY. 2152 01:31:01,457 --> 01:31:02,956 Max: WITHIN THREE MONTHS, 2153 01:31:02,958 --> 01:31:04,925 THE FIRST PART OF THEIR PLAN WAS COMPLETE. 2154 01:31:04,927 --> 01:31:07,594 HE WAS MARRIED TO ONE, GOT THE OTHER ONE PREGNANT, 2155 01:31:07,596 --> 01:31:09,029 AND THEY ALL LIVED UNDER THE SAME ROOF. 2156 01:31:09,031 --> 01:31:11,198 AND FOR A WHILE, JOHNNY WAS FAITHFUL 2157 01:31:11,200 --> 01:31:13,567 AND HAPPY WITH HIS SIX-HOLE ARRANGEMENT. 2158 01:31:13,569 --> 01:31:15,202 BUT THESE GIRLS WERE SNEAKY. 2159 01:31:15,204 --> 01:31:16,937 IT WAS ALL JUST A SETUP 2160 01:31:16,939 --> 01:31:20,040 FOR THE FINAL PHASE OF THE NUCLEAR OPTION. 2161 01:31:20,042 --> 01:31:21,575 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. 2162 01:31:21,577 --> 01:31:22,742 THIS IS A GOOD THING. 2163 01:31:22,744 --> 01:31:25,579 I KNOW. THIS IS A GREAT THING! 2164 01:31:25,581 --> 01:31:28,482 OHH. VERONICA? 2165 01:31:28,484 --> 01:31:31,184 YEAH, OPERATION CHEATING HEART IS A GO. 2166 01:31:31,186 --> 01:31:32,719 TELL HER TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE. 2167 01:31:32,721 --> 01:31:34,254 NOT THAT HE'S GONNA TAKE IT, BUT... 2168 01:31:34,256 --> 01:31:36,857 GO EASY ON HIM, OKAY? 2169 01:31:40,027 --> 01:31:42,662 ALL RIGHT, VERONICA, SO BASICALLY YOU'RE GOING TO APPLY IT TO THE WHOLE SCAR 2170 01:31:42,664 --> 01:31:45,131 AND JUST WAIT FOR IT TO DRY BEFORE YOU GET DRESSED. 2171 01:31:45,133 --> 01:31:46,833 IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE. HERE, LET ME. 2172 01:31:53,875 --> 01:31:57,277 UM, WHICH ONE SHOULD I PUT IT ON? 2173 01:31:57,279 --> 01:31:58,979 BOTH. 2174 01:31:58,981 --> 01:32:00,814 I THINK I PUT TOO MUCH. 2175 01:32:00,816 --> 01:32:03,183 THAT'S FINE. JUST APPLY A THIN LAYER. 2176 01:32:03,185 --> 01:32:07,187 NOT SURE I'M DOING IT PROPERLY. JOHNNY? 2177 01:32:08,523 --> 01:32:09,990 OKAY. 2178 01:32:13,861 --> 01:32:16,930 ( moaning, laughs ) 2179 01:32:16,932 --> 01:32:20,567 NOW I GET IT. OH, SO GOOD. 2180 01:32:20,569 --> 01:32:22,869 IT'LL FORM A PROTECTIVE SEAL OVER THE EPIDERMIS. 2181 01:32:22,871 --> 01:32:25,872 YOU'RE SO CLEVER, JOHNNY. 2182 01:32:25,874 --> 01:32:28,141 VERONICA, I DON'T SEE A SCAR. 2183 01:32:28,143 --> 01:32:29,242 WHAT? 2184 01:32:29,244 --> 01:32:30,310 THERE'S NO SCAR. 2185 01:32:30,312 --> 01:32:31,878 THERE'S A LITTLE SLIT. 2186 01:32:31,880 --> 01:32:34,614 THERE'S A SLIT? WHERE? 2187 01:32:34,616 --> 01:32:36,283 HERE. 2188 01:32:36,285 --> 01:32:38,118 ♪ HEY 2189 01:32:38,120 --> 01:32:39,920 FUCK IT. 2190 01:32:39,922 --> 01:32:42,789 Max: THOSE BITCHES GOT JOHNNY GOOD. 2191 01:32:46,027 --> 01:32:47,894 THEY HAD HIM CHEATING ON VIDEO, 2192 01:32:47,896 --> 01:32:49,729 AND WHEN THE JUDGE SAW THE TAPE, 2193 01:32:49,731 --> 01:32:51,698 HE GAVE HALF HIS SHIT TO LITTLE WENDY FOR ALIMONY, 2194 01:32:51,700 --> 01:32:54,167 AND THE OTHER HALF TO BIG WENDY FOR CHILD SUPPORT. 2195 01:32:54,169 --> 01:32:56,036 AND NOW THEY LIVE VERY COMFORTABLY. 2196 01:32:56,038 --> 01:32:59,339 AND DAMN...THAT WAS ONE WELL-DRESSED BABY! 2197 01:32:59,341 --> 01:33:01,041 BUT JOHNNY MADE THE BEST OF IT. 2198 01:33:01,043 --> 01:33:03,643 HE PIMPED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT KID. 2199 01:33:03,645 --> 01:33:05,312 OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 2200 01:33:05,314 --> 01:33:07,213 MY PLEASURE. YOU LOOK GREAT, BY THE WAY. 2201 01:33:07,215 --> 01:33:09,683 Max: GLEN TRIED TO FOLLOW IN JOHNNY'S FOOTSTEPS... 2202 01:33:09,685 --> 01:33:11,251 ...HOW MUCH YOU'VE SPENT ON IT... 2203 01:33:11,253 --> 01:33:13,086 BUT NOT EVERYONE'S GOT THE TOUCH. 2204 01:33:13,088 --> 01:33:14,321 IT'S JUST A SERVICE I PROVIDE MY CLIENTS. 2205 01:33:14,323 --> 01:33:15,655 ARE YOU KIDDING? 2206 01:33:15,657 --> 01:33:17,090 EW, APPLY THEM ON YOUR OWN TITS! 2207 01:33:17,092 --> 01:33:19,659 WELL, BUT I HAVEN'T HAD A BOOB JOB. 2208 01:33:19,661 --> 01:33:23,063 Max: YVONNE FINALLY GOT HER OTHER TITTY. 2209 01:33:23,065 --> 01:33:25,966 IT'S ALREADY PAID FOR ITSELF. 2210 01:33:27,868 --> 01:33:30,770 LOOK AT THEM TITTIES! 2211 01:33:30,772 --> 01:33:32,172 WHAT THE FUCK! 2212 01:33:32,174 --> 01:33:34,975 Max: HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS STILL RAGE. 2213 01:33:34,977 --> 01:33:36,943 ( blows whistle ) EVERYBODY, OUT! 2214 01:33:36,945 --> 01:33:38,945 YOU DON'T WANNA FUCK WITH THE T.O.B. 2215 01:33:38,947 --> 01:33:41,081 LET'S GO, GIRLS. 2216 01:33:41,083 --> 01:33:44,084 WELL, I FEEL A LITTLE BIT BETTER THAT YOU'RE SORRY... 2217 01:33:44,086 --> 01:33:46,353 THE WENDYS EVENTUALLY CAME CLEAN ABOUT THE FRAME JOB, 2218 01:33:46,355 --> 01:33:48,655 AND COURTNEY QUIT THE T.O.B. 2219 01:33:48,657 --> 01:33:49,856 I JUST FOUND THEM. EW. 2220 01:33:49,858 --> 01:33:51,958 AGAINST JOHNNY'S ADVICE, 2221 01:33:51,960 --> 01:33:54,227 AARON FESSED UP ABOUT THE GIRL AT THE PARTY. 2222 01:33:54,229 --> 01:33:58,632 TURNS OUT HE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO "MADE A MISTAKE." 2223 01:33:58,634 --> 01:34:00,867 I FUCKING CHEATED ON YOU, TOO, SO THERE! WHAT?! 2224 01:34:00,869 --> 01:34:03,370 WITH THE WENDYS OUT OF THE PICTURE, 2225 01:34:03,372 --> 01:34:06,973 LOVE WAS ABLE TO FIND A WAY. 2226 01:34:06,975 --> 01:34:11,044 AND THAT'S WHY WE HAVING THIS BANGING-ASS BACHELOR PARTY! 2227 01:34:11,046 --> 01:34:13,380 YOU KNOW, YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO FIND A GOOD ONE, AND I FOUND A GOOD ONE. 2228 01:34:13,382 --> 01:34:15,081 YOU DID. I GOTTA ADMIT, YOU DID. SHE'S A COOL CHICK. 2229 01:34:15,083 --> 01:34:16,316 THANKS, MAN. I LOVE YOU, MAN. 2230 01:34:16,318 --> 01:34:18,118 I KNOW I GIVE YOU A HARD TIME, MAN, 2231 01:34:18,120 --> 01:34:19,886 BUT I THINK IT'S COOL THAT YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MARRIED. 2232 01:34:19,888 --> 01:34:22,188 LET'S GET DOWN, MAN. 2233 01:34:22,190 --> 01:34:25,225 Max: AND ME... I'VE GOT A DRINK IN ONE HAND, 2234 01:34:25,227 --> 01:34:27,794 A JOINT IN THE OTHER, CHICKS ARE JOCKING ME, 2235 01:34:27,796 --> 01:34:30,163 MY BEST FRIEND'S MARRYING A GREAT GIRL, 2236 01:34:30,165 --> 01:34:34,401 AND I'M IN THE SHOWER WITH FOUR BUTT-ASS NAKED CHICKS! 2237 01:34:34,403 --> 01:34:36,169 CAN IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT? 2238 01:34:36,171 --> 01:34:37,837 I LOVE MY LIFE! 2239 01:34:47,915 --> 01:34:49,215 ♪ HEY 2240 01:34:57,191 --> 01:34:58,425 ♪ HEY 2241 01:34:58,427 --> 01:35:00,260 ♪ "H," "O" 2242 01:35:00,262 --> 01:35:02,095 ♪ DOUBLE "L," "Y" 2243 01:35:02,097 --> 01:35:04,164 ♪ "W," "O," "O," "D" 2244 01:35:04,166 --> 01:35:06,132 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2245 01:35:06,134 --> 01:35:07,767 ♪ "H," "O" 2246 01:35:07,769 --> 01:35:09,703 ♪ DOUBLE "L," "Y" 2247 01:35:09,705 --> 01:35:11,438 ♪ "W," "O," "O," "D" 2248 01:35:11,440 --> 01:35:13,707 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2249 01:35:28,222 --> 01:35:29,923 ♪ "H," "O" 2250 01:35:29,925 --> 01:35:31,458 ♪ DOUBLE "L," "Y" 2251 01:35:31,460 --> 01:35:33,493 ♪ "W," "O," "O," "D" 2252 01:35:33,495 --> 01:35:35,495 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2253 01:35:35,497 --> 01:35:37,197 ♪ "H," "O" 2254 01:35:37,199 --> 01:35:39,132 ♪ DOUBLE "L," "Y" 2255 01:35:39,134 --> 01:35:41,067 ♪ "W," "O," "O," "D" 2256 01:35:41,069 --> 01:35:43,403 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2257 01:35:48,375 --> 01:35:50,744 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2258 01:36:03,023 --> 01:36:05,425 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2259 01:36:10,831 --> 01:36:13,099 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2260 01:36:17,972 --> 01:36:20,206 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2261 01:36:29,817 --> 01:36:31,351 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2262 01:36:31,353 --> 01:36:33,019 ♪ GRRREEDY 2263 01:36:33,021 --> 01:36:35,455 ♪ IT'S THE KOREATOWN ODDITY ♪ 2264 01:36:35,457 --> 01:36:37,157 ♪ OBVIOUSLY THEY'LL PUT YOU UP ♪ 2265 01:36:37,159 --> 01:36:39,192 ♪ ON THIS WHOLE HOLLYWOOD THING ♪ 2266 01:36:39,194 --> 01:36:40,994 ♪ SPECIFICALLY THE SEX WARS 2267 01:36:40,996 --> 01:36:42,962 ♪ GOT STRIPPERS STACKED ON TOP OF US ♪ 2268 01:36:42,964 --> 01:36:44,931 ♪ BUT THIS IS NOT CONNECT FOUR ♪ 2269 01:36:44,933 --> 01:36:46,399 ♪ IT'S STRIP TWISTER 2270 01:36:46,401 --> 01:36:48,301 ♪ NOW WE PARTY UP 2271 01:36:48,303 --> 01:36:50,069 ♪ BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THIS ♪ 2272 01:36:50,071 --> 01:36:51,838 ♪ WHEN CHICKS WAS MORE FRIGID ♪ 2273 01:36:51,840 --> 01:36:53,907 ♪ THAN INTENSE WINTERS AND ANTARCTICA ♪ 2274 01:36:53,909 --> 01:36:57,010 ♪ BUT EVER SINCE WE GOT ALL OF THE KNOWLEDGE FROM ♪ 2275 01:36:57,012 --> 01:36:59,512 ♪ JOHNNY EYELASH, SLOWLY AS THE TIME PASSED ♪ 2276 01:36:59,514 --> 01:37:01,281 ♪ WE FELT BON VIVANTS ♪ 2277 01:37:01,283 --> 01:37:03,016 ♪ YOU KNOW, MACADOCIOUS ♪ 2278 01:37:03,018 --> 01:37:04,851 ♪ WITH THESE BROADS UPON OUR NUTS ♪ 2279 01:37:04,853 --> 01:37:06,452 ♪ SO THE WENDYS GOT BEEF ♪ 2280 01:37:06,454 --> 01:37:08,354 ♪ AND THEY DON'T WANT IT ON TWO BUNS ♪ 2281 01:37:08,356 --> 01:37:10,456 ♪ THEY'RE THE CAPTAINS OF CLUB T.O.B.'s ♪ 2282 01:37:10,458 --> 01:37:12,158 ♪ HOLLYWOOD CHICK ALLIANCE 2283 01:37:12,160 --> 01:37:14,027 ♪ WE GO BACK AND FORTH 2284 01:37:14,029 --> 01:37:15,895 ♪ LIKE PING-PONG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS IN CHINA ♪ 2285 01:37:15,897 --> 01:37:17,931 ♪ WITH THE ABORTION EXTORTION ♪ 2286 01:37:17,933 --> 01:37:19,566 ♪ AND THE NUCLEAR OPTION 2287 01:37:19,568 --> 01:37:21,434 ♪ TO MAKE US BOYS WANNA FORFEIT ♪ 2288 01:37:21,436 --> 01:37:23,303 ♪ AND LOOK STUPID IN THE PROCESS ♪ 2289 01:37:23,305 --> 01:37:25,405 ♪ BUT I'M STILL SQUEEZING BREASTESES ♪ 2290 01:37:25,407 --> 01:37:27,440 ♪ YOUR GUESS IS I'M A PLASTIC SURGEON ♪ 2291 01:37:27,442 --> 01:37:29,576 ♪ NOT EXACTLY, BUT THEY DEFINITELY ♪ 2292 01:37:29,578 --> 01:37:34,214 ♪ GOT MY PACKAGE TURGID, TURGID, TURGID... ♪ 169635