All language subtitles for The Cool Kids s01e12 Margaret Jr.eng

Charlie, I want my wok back!

You borrowed it months ago.

It's time.

It's just time.

You lent something to him?

This man's a crazy hoarder.

Crazy good at it.

WOMAN:
Ugh.

Is this cake up for grabs?

Because I have been on a bus
for 12 hours,

and I am starving.
(chuckles)

I was saving that for after
I finished my veggies.

-Excuse me, miss? Miss?
-Hmm?

Who are you and what are you
doing at our table?

(chuckles)
Your table?

What makes it your table?

Well, the fact that it is.

Because we say it is,
so then it is.

Well, I didn't know.
I'm so sorry.

In that case...

That seat is saved.

(chuckling):
Saved seats?

What is this, middle school?

Do I look like
I'm in middle school?

Do you really want me
to answer that?

You can't just sit at a seat
that doesn't belong to you,

then act like you
run this place.

I mean, who does that?

MJ!

Mom!

(both squealing)

ALL:
Oh.

*

Then Michael breaks up with me,

kicks me out of my house
and changes all the locks.

And the police are like, "Duh,
we can't do anything about it."

Just because Michael
was the homeowner

and I never paid any rent.

Unbelievable.

Is it, though?

So, what happened
with you and Michael?

I thought you guys
were doing great.

Well, so did I.
And then he was like,

"Duh, you need to get a job
so you can make some money."

Boyfriend sounds a lot
like the policeman.

So, I start doing
my ice sculptures again.

And then he's like, "Uh,
there's puddles everywhere."

And I'm like, "Yeah.

"That's what happens when
I don't sell an ice sculpture.

"It turns into a puddle.

That's how molecules work."

Does he want you to work or not?
Make up your mind, Michael.

Right? Thank you.

Margaret, you don't have to
play nice for us.

If you want to whup
this woman's ass, go ahead.

We'll look the other way.

Ignore him.

Anyway, Mom, I was hoping
I could stay with you

just for a little bit,
till I get back on my feet.

You can stay here
as long as you need. (chuckles)

Aw, thanks, chica.
You rule.

Um... all right, well,
I am gonna go and get my stuff.

Hey, any way I could get
one of your famous

grilled cheeses tonight?

Oh, I would, but I don't think
I have any cheese.

Okay. Well, if you're going to
the store, I would not be mad

at one of those
rotisserie chickens, either.

Oh. All right, well,
I guess I could squeeze in

a quick trip to the market.

If I hustle, I can still catch
that 5:15 bus.

-Mm.
-Oh, and, uh, when I get back,

I will make up the couch
for you.

Oh.

The couch.

Okay.

Who is this person?

That's my daughter, Hank.
Try to keep up.

I'm talking about you!

I've never seen such a doormat.

Are you gonna question
my relationship with my kid?

Guys, back me up here.

-No, not a chance.
-No...

You know, MJ's dad and I got
divorced when she was little,

and she took it very hard.

So I'm always gonna be there
for her.

Mm-hmm. Doormat.

I am not a doormat.
I'm a mom.

Yeah, well, somebody's sleeping
on the couch tonight,

and I bet it's gonna be you.

Butt out, Hank.

It's not easy being right
all the time!

It's hard on me, too!

And you thought it would be hard
to find your wok.

Your hoarding has gotten
so much worse

since last time I was here.

Hoarding never gets worse, Sid.

It only gets better.

This has been a problem
for years.

But now it's affecting me

and my ability to cook
delicious Chinese food.

-And why do you have a canoe?
-Oh.

Oh, it was left to me
by an Inuit elder in his will.

My good friend Tulugaak.

Oh, yeah.

Well, that's a perfectly
reasonable explanation.

May not seem obvious,
all of my belongings are

very carefully organized.

Organized? By what?

By the letters in the word
"organized."

This is section "O."

There's oranges and, uh,
office supplies, origami.

But what about letters that
aren't in the word "organized"?

Exactly.

Now, "wok" would've been
under "O"

because there's an "O" in "wok,"

but I didn't think of it
as a wok.

I thought of it as
a cereal bowl.

Obviously, there's no "C"
in "organized," either.

So that's when it starts to get
really complicated.

Charlie, I'm gonna
help you out here.

Okay.

You are dating
a beautiful woman now.

You cannot bring her back here.

And I don't want you to wind up
one of those guys

who gets eaten by their cats.

I don't have cats.

How do you know?

Thanks for letting me
stay here, Mom.

You're always there for me.

And I would much rather
hang out with you

than Dad and Blah-Blah.

Oh, don't be so hard on Barbara.

She has to live
with your father.

She's got it bad enough.
(chuckles)

She does suck ass, though,
doesn't she? (laughing)

I mean, she puts out raisins
like they're a snack. Raisins.

You sleep well, and, uh, things
will feel better in the morning.

(whimpering)

What's the matter, honey?

Well, it's just...

You know that you can
tell me anything.

I was in the middle
of telling you.

It's just, when Michael
broke up with me,

he made me sleep on the couch,

so this is super triggering
for me.

Well, hey, we can
take care of this.

I'll sleep on the sofa,
you take the bed, okay?

-Is that better?
-Yep.

I am jealous of the sleep
you're about to get.

(chuckles)
I mean... (sighs)

the couch is all warm
from our butts.

(chuckles) If you'd rather
sleep out here, I...

Good night, Mom.

(sighs):
Oh, stupid Hank.

I'm a doormat?

Doormats go on the floor.

I am up on the sofa, so...

MJ:
Trying to sleep in here!

I knew it.

Your couch face.

Your creasy-corduroy-couch face.

You slept on the sofa
last night,

just like I said you would,
didn't you?

Doormat.

(singsongy): Doormat.

I am not a doormat.

So what if I slept on the couch?
You don't get it, Hank.

This is a mother-daughter thing,
and when she needs me, I melt.

Yeah, well,
that does her no good.

You're a parent.

You're not supposed to melt.

You're not one of
her ice sculptures.

You got to be something
that doesn't melt,

like, uh, steel.

No. No, steel melts.

Or, uh, chocolate.

Damn, that melts, too.

Why can't I think of something
that doesn't melt?

Don't worry about it, Hank.
I get the point.

My God, does everything melt?

Geez, Hank. Wood.
How about wood?

Yeah, Margaret, be wood.

Be as inflexible and strong
as a big ol' hunk of wood.

I ain't talking about
a twig, neither.

I'm talking about wood.

Not balsa wood or pine.

I'm talking about maple
or oak or petrified wood.

All right, Hank, I've got it!

And what do you care
about it, anyway?

'Cause I had a mother
that was just like you.

Let me walk all over her.
Took me forever to grow up.

Cost me relationships, jobs.

And you're not gonna believe
this, but most of my life,

I was kind of a jerk.

I'm so glad those days
are behind you, Hank.

Look, I know my daughter.

The direct approach
does not work with her.

I'm gonna get my bed back,
but I'm gonna do it my way.

Let me guess.
You're gonna race her to bed

and act like you're tired...
and fake-yawn?

Margaret.

Please tell me you're not gonna
go up in there

-with no fake yawn.
-Oh, you know what?

I don't need this.
I've got something

a little more advanced
up my sleeve, thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Wait a minute.

Wood burns.

This world wasn't built to last.

I'm trying to help you
here, Charlie.

You have to get rid
of something.

Let's do a lightning round.

How about this canister
of blue gel for barber combs?

Keep.

A photo album of a random
Filipino family?

Keep.

Come on, Charlie!
This is all trash.

No, this is not trash.

This is a rich treasure trove
of memories

collected over a lifetime.

This hacky sack was in my pocket

when I saw Sophia Loren
at the mall in 1988.

There are no beans in it.

No one can hack that sack!

This is not about the object.

This is about the way
it makes you feel.

The way it takes you to a place

where you yearn to go again.

The mall?

Sid, you don't get it.

(chuckles)
This is a time machine.

All these things are.

I like knowing that I can
time-travel through my life

whenever I want.

I don't keep anything.

I have thrown away so many

of my own time machines.

A busted Daffy Duck watch here,

a chipped rhinestone
belt buckle there.

And now it's just too late.

No, it isn't.

Um... here.

It's a time machine
to this very moment.

Well, thank you.

Thus begins my first hoard.

(strained):
Never mind.

Your memories
are crushing my friggin' neck.

(loud, forced yawn)

What was that?

That was a... that was a yawn.

(loud, forced yawn)

So tired.

I'm going to, uh...
I'm gonna go to sleep.

You probably want to stay up

and watch TV
for a little while longer,

so, uh, maybe you should just,
uh, take the couch.

And that will leave me

with the... bed.

* I'm gonna be in my bed *

* I'm gonna
be in my bed *

* Bed, bed, bed. *

Night.

Mom.

(scoffs)
If you want your bed back,

you should just ask me,
you big weirdo.

Oh, that would be great.

If there's anything
that you need from me,

you know I'll give it to you.

That's what we're like
with each other.

Which reminds me...

No.

It's stupid.

What is it, sweetie?

Well, a friend of mine
just told me about this studio

that opened in her building,

but I need a little cash
for a down payment.

Okay. How much?

-$1,800, but I'd totally
pay you back. -Oh...

That's a lot
of money for me, MJ.

I know. I'm sorry,
I shouldn't have even asked you.

-I'll ask Dad and Barbara.
-Uh...

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no. Look.

I am gonna go sleep in my bed,
and we'll talk about this

in the morning
and we'll figure it all out.

Okay, well, I'm obviously
crowding you,

so I'll just go stay with them.

No, I'm not saying
that you should go.

I'm just saying
you should sleep on the couch.

Okay, well, I'm having a hard
time seeing the difference.

Come on.
You don't even like Blah-Blah.

Her name is Barbara, Mom.

(quietly):
Barbara.

All right, you take the bed.
I will give you the money.

-I just need to find
my checkbook. -I'll help you look.

Oh, look, there it is,
on the table right there.

With a pen next to it.

Oh, look, you filled it out
and everything.

Yeah. All you have to do
is sign right there.

(laughs)

Okay.

Thanks, chica.

Wait, what the hell
just happened?

I know it's late, but I...

I really need something
from you.

Well, well, well.

I knew this was gonna happen

one of these lonely nights.

But, girl, no.

-What?
-You know, next time,

you should start
with a "You up?" text.

See, that way, you don't have to
face this humiliation in person.

(chuckles)
Things are not that bad.

Things will never be that bad.

No, I'm here to tell you
that you were right

and... I need your advice.

Well, in that case,
welcome to Hank's.

Just so I'm 100% correct
on this,

you said I was right

and that you need my advice?

Can you say that again
into my phone

so I got it on record?

How long are you gonna
milk this?

Well, at least
a couple of weeks.

Hey, I'm the milkman, baby.

All right.

So, how bad is it?

It's pretty bad.

Well, you didn't give her
any money, did you?

Well, tell me
it was less than $100.

(whimpers softly)

-Two?
-(whimpers)

Oh, no.

Did you give her $500?

1,800.

$1,800?!

Ooh, I got to stand up
and pace on that.

Ooh-wee!

You gave a homeless ice sculptor

enough money to buy
a '93 Pontiac Sunfire?

Yes. I know, I screwed up.
You were right.

I need to be wood.
I don't know how to be wood.

Well, good thing
you came to the woodshop.

The milkman works
at the woodshop?

Yep.

All right.

Margaret, you need to give
your daughter some tough love.

And it's 30 years overdue.

I know. I'm just concerned
about how she's gonna react,

and I don't want
to push her away.

Well, that's why
it's called tough love.

You've been doing
what's easiest for Margaret.

Now you got to do
what's best for MJ.

I don't know if I can.

I'll go with you, then.

You want to put
some pants on first?

Tough love don't wear pants.

SID:
Help me!

Get me out of here!

Just hold on, buddy.
I'm moving as fast as I can.

Oh.
(laughs)

The key to my 13th apartment.

You know, there's a funny story
that goes with this, Sid.

-Charlie!
-No, you're-you're gonna want to hear this.

It's got a monkey in it.

Oh, shut up and start digging.

I'm claustrophobic.
(shrieks)

And I'm not sure
I'm alone in here.

Okay. Well, hold on.
I'll get you out.

Oh, there's a hand.

Oh, that's not good.

(grunting, gasping)

Oh, I can breathe again.

Charlie, I could have
died in there.

I got little bitty lungs.

(panting)

(groans)

I'm so sorry, Sid.

I'm glad you're okay.

Did you ever think that instead
of collecting this crap,

you should be out there
living in the present?

Do you know how many new
memories you've missed making

while you're in here
organizing your old ones?

(exhales)
You're right.

I should get rid of some stuff.

I am so happy
to hear you say that.

But before you do, I'm gonna
need that monkey story.

Does it smoke a cigarette?

-(door opens)
-Now, look here, little girl,

you gonna sit down,
and you gonna listen

to what your mama's got to say.

I'm already sitting down.

(chuckling):
Mom, what is this?

I'm here to be wood.

-What?
-I love you, MJ,

but you got
to sleep on the couch,

and you've got
to give me back that money.

Well, it doesn't sound
like you love me at all.

Don't fall for it, Margaret.

What is he doing here?

Is this your boyfriend, Mom?

Because you could do
so much better.

What? Excuse me?

Don't change the subject, MJ.

The subject is you.

Yeah, and how you a loser!

Don't call my daughter a loser.

I can call my daughter
a loser.

You cannot call her a loser.

You're calling me a loser
two days after I got dumped?

That is so mean.
No wonder Dad left you.

Ooh, damn.

Is that really
where you want to take this?

HANK:
You know what? I just

came here
to get the ball rolling.

The ball is rolling,
so let me just ease...

It's not gonna work anymore, MJ.

I'm done feeling guilty
about the divorce,

so quit holding it against me,
and quit holding it

against your dumb,
stupid, idiot father.

Look, I'm-a wait this out
in the bathroom.

Margaret, what's your Wi-Fi?

You are an adult now, MJ.

It's time to grow up.

It's time to get a real job.

It's time to take
some responsibility

for your own damn life.

I'm leaving.

Well, I'm glad I could
help you out with your daughter.

(loud, forced yawn)

I'm gonna just...
I'm tired. Ooh.

Still no word from MJ.

I've called
every ice dealer in town.

I guess you'll know she's
all right when the check clears.

(laughs)

It's too soon for a joke.
I realize that now.

Good news, Sid.
I found your wok.

You're gonna want
to rinse it off.

Oh, I'm so proud of you, buddy.

You got rid of all your stuff.

Uh, I didn't say "all,"
but I whittled it down

to a few thousand
of my most precious memories.

Couldn't have done it
without you.

HANK:
You know, I usually

don't take things
in this direction, but...

hoarders are always
white people.

Black people don't hoard.

Hey.

Hey.
I thought you left.

Nah, I slept in an old canoe
someone left outside.

Forgive me, Tulugaak.

I just wanted to give you
your money back.

I decided I should figure
some things out on my own,

so I made some calls, and...

it looks like Stephanie
needs a roommate

and Cynthia needs a receptionist
at her hair salon, so I'm good.

Well, MJ, this is great.

Nah, it's lame,
but I guess it's time

I move on from ice sculptures.
They just melt.

Everything does.

You know, everything you said
to me really sucked, Mom,

but I kind of needed to hear it.

Thanks. I love you.

I love you, too, sweetie.

(chuckles)

Well, I'm off.
(chuckles)

-Bye-bye, MJ. Nice meeting you.
-Bye, MJ.

Bye, Margaret Jr.

You named your daughter
Margaret Jr.?

No wonder she's so messed up.

Wow, I can't believe it.
I finally got through to her.

This is really great, Margaret.

Your 35-year-old daughter

might be getting a job.

Kudos!

That's pretty good.

Captioned by
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